The Golden Hour - Did You Read the Pamphlet? | The Golden Hour #182 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

The guys discuss whether they fix their own cars or take them to the shop, Erik's new home improvement skills, crazy layover stories and his exit row incident, also, Brendan's idea for a dating show with 2s, the guys share massage stories including Brendan's heavy breathing female masseuse, the new uncomfortable show on TLC called A Day In My Body and much more! Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastFabletics - Just head to https://fabletics.com/golden , take a quick style quiz, and be sure to select golden when prompted to unlock your 80% off. That’s https://fabletics.com/goldenEthos - Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/goldenhourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Big hefty girl comes in, you know, $150 massage. She comes in and the music's all relaxing. But her breathing, fucked up. Oh, buddy, it was... Oh. It's so mean. It's so mean, but so real.

You know what to get a massage is just... Yeah. Oh, bro. I thought it was fucking Bain giving me a massage. Oh, my God. You got to save some auction for the rest of us in this month. No one cared who I was until I took a put on my mask. As soon as he said that, I was like,

I saw you do it. So he said that I was like, here we go. Oh, I got some stuff with friends that shout. All right. All right. What's up? What's up with that shirt? It just was letter.

or what? Dieseler? Yeah, it's just a logo, Doug. Diesel R. Oh, Diesel R, got it. Wow, I didn't see that at all. I was like, Deasler?

You thought it was like a character in American Pie? Yeah. I didn't know what that was. Hey, bro, I'm the Deasler. Um, man, I used to do. Hey, you know, you know Oz from American Pie

is one of the coaches on the baseball team out here? Uh-uh, who's, who's Oz? Which one's Oz? Oz. You know him? The guy who played lacrosse. Oh. Oh, wow.

him he's just coaching now Chris uh Klein yeah great coach really good guy good team too his team's younger than mine so he's not Tiger's coach but he's a really really good coach whoa he coaches now

yeah handsome bastard goes in different well no I mean I'm sure he still acts sometimes but probably not all right anyway I have a question and now this is now Brendan might be the exception to this okay but

if you own like you guys have Ferraris if you had a really expensive Ferrari had had okay okay well what Ferraris well okay whatever expensive car you own if the headlight was broken would you fix it yourself what do you mean myself just swap it out yeah is it is it under well I would but it depends is it under warranty why he's excessive to what I'm talking about because I know he'd be like I think I can fix this no but if it's like it's like a really Under warranty though, Eric? Let's say,

even if it's under warranty or not, like, would you, would your first instinct be, if there's something wrong with my car, an expensive, expensive car, would you fix it?

No way. If it's under warranty, especially when comes to your guys' stuff, it's like, because it's, those headlights are so expensive. Those LED, like high-res fucking LED shit,

you'd have to probably have them fix it. Now this is, like on my old trucks and shit. Yeah. That is the point I'm trying to, right, right. This is the point I'm trying to make. With a car, super expensive car, even if it's not an expensive car, we tend to be like, oh, let me take this to get it fixed.

Sure. But isn't it crazy with your house, you become the plumber, electrician, gardener, like, crazy. And your house is the most expensive thing you've ever bought in your life. But you tend to be like, you know what? I think I could do the. I think I could feel. fix this plumbing issue. Yeah, it's got, I don't, I, well, I don't do that, but yeah.

You know what? It's so funny. You guys are so, when I was thinking about this question, I was thinking, one, Brendan would for sure fix something himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I thought, no matter how easy it is, you're still calling somebody to come fix it. Yeah, for sure.

You guys are weird like that. I don't, I don't want, dude, I'm, I, it's like when Bill, when, uh, Steve Jobs only wore the one thing. He's like, that's now something I don't have to deal with. is what outfit I want to wear every day. I'm like, dude, you know, I've made enough money to wear I don't have to fucking do plumbing. I don't think you're ever like that, Chris. You know what I'm saying?

It's kind of a, it's kind of a life trait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we want these new bushes. We want the new bushes. And Joe, I was like, yeah, I got to quote it's whatever $3,000. It's like, no, it's not. Right, right, right. There's bushes out of home deep.

Right, right, right, right. Wait, wait, wait. Out of nowhere, Brendan was putting on gloves. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. No, no, no, I'll throw my back out, put these bushes in. I'll save my money. It's funny that like, because I, I have already, like, I realized I'm doing stuff. I'm like, what am I doing? Like, you know what I mean? Like, like, okay, so here's one. So the master bedroom shower was starting to flood. And I was like, boom. But then I know because Rachel collects her hair.

Yeah. Her hair. And I'm just wondering. Put it down there. I'm just wondering what's going on, right? So like, I was like, you know what? I went on Amazon. I got one of those snakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got one of, I put it in. I was like, hot look at me to have my gloves on. Yeah. Dude, I pulled out a possum. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, that's disgusting. Listen, yeah. I should have taken a picture of it. No, I know. I've seen that stuff. I was like, like, cousin it. Well, and all that's from, bro.

I was like, what? I was looking at her like, what are you doing in here? And all that's from in between your belly button and your knees. And that's so fucking weird, but it's disgusting. But so, so, okay, so how much was the snake? It wasn't like $19. Okay. And then, if the public gave it be $200.

Eric, how good did you feel when you got done? You're like, what's up? You ate it. Who's sucking my dick? Yeah, dude, I was like, look at me. Okay, here's something else I did. So there's like a blank wall, you know, empty wall right in front of the shower. We had this big shower.

Then there's like a space next to the shower on the right of it. And then there's a wall. It's just a blank wall. I was like, this is a wasted space. So I went to Lowe's and I ordered some like, top of some things you put it in the wall, like your hooks that matched the tile, I put them up and I was just

standing there for like 10 minutes. Yeah, that's a match. Yeah. That's some daddy shit. Oh, I feel great. I bet it doesn't match, right? I bet it's a little off. It's nice. But the thing is you have like, I have like all this stuff. Like I had this, not, not, I had to do weeds. Yeah. All the freaking time.

I got to do it. And I was thinking to myself, damn, if this was like a Rose Royce, I would just take this sucker in. Even to get it wild. You wouldn't even wash your own car. Well, I don't know. Do you wash your own car? No, I think washing is different though.

Yeah, I have. I only wash my car. Of course. I think washing is different than changing. I love it. It's so, it's therapy. Yeah, I can understand that for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's weird. Take the shirt off, get a tan. Get all wet. Your car is a shirt on? It's weird how we're different spectrums of this. Yeah. That's why I was like, oh, I wonder what they're going to say. Then I thought, oh, I actually know what I'm going to say.

But if you would do it. But if you take your shirt off when you, when you, when you wash your car you can get a tan too it's nice you know you're getting good vitamin d i like that idea i like that i like that it's also like with with tigers baseball like he'll work with a specialist whatever the dude's a hundred dollars an hour yeah who work with them once i'll just watch what drills they do and i'm all we're fine right right right he's like you see next week i'm like i'll take it yeah well you can do that because you're uh an athlete too like you kind of understand that language you know i record it okay but i tell them i'm like hey man right my plan is because i i i

Baseball is not my background. I'm going to see exactly what you're working on him. And then we'll work on this just by ourselves for the next month. And then I'll come back next month. He's like, yeah, dude, that's what we hope. He's like, as I plant these bushes, I'm going to be recording you. But I'll get over my skis, like, especially with some of the trucks. I'm like, oh, I got this.

I'll order all the parts. About four hours into, I'm like, God. That's hell, bro. Yeah. Well, if you like doing it, though, if you like figuring it out and stuff, like there's certain things I like. to do that it makes no sense. Like I like to do laundry.

It makes no sense for me. I just like therapeutic for me. Gay, gay, gay. Yeah. Yeah. I do it. And then I suck my husband's cock. So stupid.

No, but I just, yeah, I just like doing it. And, you know, it's like for the same reason why I like, like working out. Like, I like getting it done. It feels like I, I don't know. Some things are like that for me, you know. Like I don't do my sprints anymore because I, but I want to. I miss it. because I feel like I did something, you know?

Yeah, well, I think I like getting, like doing, like doing stuff around the house is like, for me, I like following the instructions and then seeing the end result. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, it's nice, yeah. I was in, I was in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Where, and I was in Mason. I have a whole thing about this, but I'll tell you. You said there were too many flights to get there.

Yeah. I don't understand. It must have been a timing thing too. Okay, what it was is I had my flight where I was going to get there, like take a red eye the day before. I would be there Friday and then the show would be Saturday. But then I booked a guest star role and so I had to change my flight. So to get there for the show, I had to take a red eye flight to Houston. Okay.

Three hour layover. Okay. From Houston to Chicago, two hour layover. When you got to Chicago. When I got to Chicago. And then Chicago to Mason City. And then when did you arrive? What time?

I got there at like two. And then I'm sleeping all day, trying to sleep all day. The show's in fucking four hours. I tried my best. And then I, you know, I had to show it just like, it was actually pretty cool. Mason City is one of these like towns that like, you know, you go to those towns that have like the biggest yarn in the world. They have something like that there. Yeah, yeah.

You know, they have their fame. They should go, oh, you guys are famous for that. Right, right. And also, that's where Buddy Holly died. Oh. That's the airport they took off from. Oh. So they have a whole, the crash site.

Okay. They have, it's kind of morbid, but they go like, this is where the plane crash, you know. Some people taking pictures and shit where you died. Yeah, so they have that kind of thing. But, okay, can I just, since we're, this is something, Brendan doesn't fly as much anymore, right?

Last two weeks I have, I got to be on a plane on fucking Thursday, but yeah, not as much as you guys anymore. The Mason City flight from Chicago, obviously it's a little plane. Yeah, it's a little plane. I got to do one of those soon. All right.

So, and there's not a lot. of people going to Mason City, so the plane just... Oh, yeah? But I picked the exit seat so I can get some more. I'm the only person sitting in the exit seat. Now, I got all my headphones, but I got those... The iPod headphones where you could, like, press the button, you can hear just like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, Stewart just comes over. It's like, you have to take up your headphones. It's just me... For takeoff. No, no, no, no. Because she wants... They have to do that thing where, you know you're sitting in the exit row, but... The down to...

Yeah, I understand. At first I say, I said, oh, I can hear you. you. Yeah, but I'm already on her side. I'm on her side. Take them off. I'm on her side. Take them off. Right now I'm on her side. I sit in the exit rule all the time. Yeah, I understand you know how to do. And 95% of the time, the person, they don't care.

Oh. I say, I can hear you. And they know, they look and they go, okay. And I go, uh-huh, uh-huh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So already I'm like, it's just me. Yeah. And it's a small play, nobody's on it.

So I'm like, okay, so I go, all right, I'll do I guess. Okay. Yeah. And then she goes, you, you know, you're in the exit or I say, yes, I'm willing to help. I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. you've done it before she's like

I have to say I'm like oh you're one of these you know and then she's like did you read the did you did you read the thing oh that's crazy yeah who side you on now

well that's why I said yeah yeah I was on I was on up until she said the reading thing I was on her side do you want to do you did you did you have you read the thing and I go like this sure

wow wow that's hilarious what a dick I said I said sure and then she goes like this do I need to call the captain no way this was a Karen this was a full-blown Karen

I look at her and I just go I just like this you know White lady Black lady Of course it was a black lady Not no no no Not no

Because the way he was doing The way he was doing I know The way he was doing it Seemed like a black lady But the way he was doing it But I go He's probably just doing that

Because he's kind of a little bit black So let me Let me let me Let me make sure Because I assumed I assumed white It's a both race thing to do Yes, it is.

It really is a biracial thing. At that weight, too. Wow. Some block on brown. You know, so I just go, and I thought to myself, you know what this is? Some people, this is the only control they have in their life. Yeah, that's true. It's like master in COVID.

Like, this is it. Like the master in COVID. Or like sometimes, or you're in like a, you're in a parking lot and a person's like, yeah, you know, you can't park right here. You know, and it's like, dude, what? You know, they're like, no, they're, they're exerting this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just talked to myself, oh, man, I had a long day. Mm-hmm.

So I'm like, you know. Well, you, you, you do that for you. You go, never, I'm not going to let myself get in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's for you because she don't give a fuck. She's ready. She was ready to call the captain for something. And I just thought to myself, but you know what my thing was?

My thing was like, she knew what she was doing. Of course she did. And that's the part that takes me off. Hey, you know what? You know what? Yeah. She won. No, there's no.

No, but you know what? My thing is, she didn't win because I'm going to go do something fun. I'm living my dream. Yeah. I'm sure. The most exciting part of her day is right now. Exactly. That might be her dream to be in the sky.

Yelling at the guy from workaholics. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I, I, I don't know. I don't know. I'm big on, okay, I'll do all your rules. And, you know, I'm going to play the game. But the reading thing was crazy.

Like if she came out to me and she was like, can you take it out? You know what? You're right. I understand. Because it's not, because it's not, you know they tell her, make sure if somebody's headphones are on, you tell them to take them off. Yep. You know that.

I don't know if that's the thing so much is the rule is you have to make sure people hear what you're saying and then they acknowledge. Sure. If I'm already saying, don't worry, I can hear you. It's one of those, you know. But yeah, but she might have had somebody before who was like, oh, I can hear you, but they're just music. Yeah, exactly.

She got to trust you. I totally get that. Here's the difference, guys. Okay. It's not like it's like a regular plane where there are six people in the exit row. Yeah.

And you're like going like this. You know, they go, hey, excuse me. Yeah. Like a lot of times I'm clearly going like this. They come. I go, I hit the button. I'm like, uh-huh. Yes.

Yeah. I don't agree with you. You mean either. You got more responsibility on this plane here. She's probably double checking. Like this bitch. She was like this. I'm the one guy.

Yeah. I could have easily just... By the way, he would have never helped. I could have easily just left the exit room. You know what I mean? But no, no, listen. I don't disagree with you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So at that point, I'm like, okay, you want to be a stickler on this part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, okay, whatever. Right, right, right, right, right. You know? Yeah. The problem was, the problem for her is that I did it like this. Yeah, but that's dick.

You're only asking for it. No, no, no, I get it. I would have, see, here's what I would have done. If I was in your mood, I would have done this. Because then she would have felt, oh yeah, that's stupid. But this shit is like, fuck you. I know, I get the same thing, though. That's also fuck you.

This. Doing like this. Yeah, but it's more like, okay, let's play your game. Now, now how stupid do you feel? I know. When you made her feel, when I'm, yeah, yeah, I, yeah. That's when she went like this. Oh, you want to play this game?

That's, that's what I'm saying. Hey, Bubu, you want to play this game? Did you read the card? But the game is over. When you do this, the game is over. because you go, okay, let's do it your way. I am, I'm, I'm allowing you to be an asshole. Yeah, but this is the thing.

I don't know, bro. When she said read the card. Well, that's great. No, no, no. If I wasn't tired, I would have done like this. Okay, just a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But Eric, don't leave that. I like that's what I like. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. But I was like, I was too tired. Eric, what would have happened? You should have it on Kindle. If she was like,

um, that's funny, but whatever. And you're like, sure. Yeah. And then the captain has come along like, what's up, man? I would have just, it was so stupid because I was like, can I, I just move to one of the 40 open seats. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But that's your responsibility in the emergency. If I was her, if I was her, I would have started talking quieter. So you had to take your headphones off. You can't hear. Yeah. You can still hear. You can still hear. Be like, oh, so you can't hear me.

Or I say like a bell baby. And you say what? I say, oh, so can't hear me. No. You can. You got to get these headphones. You can. All right.

You can still hear. It's called. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. I know what it is. What's Eric Lovemore? A.I.

Are these fucking headphones? No, don't even mention. Please don't even mention AI. The headphones have AI. Oh, this one. Back to AI. We'll start to talk about Alan Iverson. He's like, oh, speaking of AI.

You talk about practice? No. I have another one. Can I have another? Okay. All right. Here we go. Okay.

All right. I've been carrying this podcast. I'm worried it's going to mention your website. By the way, I'm going to be in Chicago. I'm going to be in Miami. I'm going to be in a bunch of different places. Kentucky, dude, Chrissly.com. Talk to the moon comedy club this weekend.

Made it up. So I've already been there Thursday. So you have to come Friday and Saturday in Pensacola, Florida. All right. Here, check this out. Okay. Man, you know, when you're a dad, you have to start thinking about the future and what's going to happen if something should happen to you.

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I saw a guy. What's up? What's up, bro. Doesn't that make you want to get more fit? Look at that. No, no, zoom in on his body. This is for the bake sale. Like, you totally could do this.

Damn. All those moms and Texas? That brings all the boys to the yard. But doesn't that make you, doesn't that make you want to get like, like, I mean, you're fit. I love custom hats over there. Hey, can we focus on the body, bro?

Oh, sorry. God damn it. Oh, man. I'm talking about the body the whole time is fuck custom hats. That's just stupid. Did you add that part? It does from something.

picture on this. Oh, okay, okay. Oh, got it. Oh, hilarious. I mean, look, you're a good looking guy. You are. Man, we got to get more fit all of us. Yeah. I agree. My shit was, dude, I've been hitting PRs and I woke up and I was a little bit heavier. I go, all right, it's working. I'm gaining some fucking shit, man. So trending upwards anyway. What was the prompt on that? Put him in booty shorts in front of a. I did have the word zesty in there. Nice. Zesty The lats. Here's my other thing.

I wish I would have taken a picture of this guy I'm about to talk about because this is one of these guys that you would say, we would send to the group and go, Brendan, can you take this guy? Okay. Well, you do that, but yeah. We all do it. Shut up.

Yeah, I do it as a joke. Yes, it's a joke. It's always a joke. I can't wait. So I'm in Chicago at the airport. A three-hour layover coming home. A lot of times when I go to Chicago, go, I'll go to the, like, the spa and I'll get a shoulder massage thing or I'll get a foot

massage. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I love it. There's this Russian guy that I always go to. Okay. He's great. You know, he's been there for 10 years.

Anyway, he's not there today. There's this guy who, he looked like a cartoon version of a bouncer at a Russian nightclub. Uh, who did it. And they sell arms. And this is the guy that goes to collect for, you know, you know, like King Pipp. Man. Yeah. He collects for like, you know, the Russian mob.

You owe money. Okay. This is the guy you would send. Okay. So I'm a little bit like, okay, this is strange that you're giving massages. That's dope. Okay? I was like, good for you.

Yeah. All right. Also, a receding hair line, but short cropped hair, bald head, and one eye is looking this way. Oh, word up, bro. That's for just in case some fucking opposition comes while he's giving you a massage. Bro, I'm not, this is not even exaggeration. Really tender guy, though.

You can tell he's like a sweet guy. Okay, so he's giving me the massage, you know? And he's talking. All right. He won't stop talking. Oh, boy. But this is what he's saying. He's trying to fuck.

This is what he's saying. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm a, you know, I'm Russian Italian and Irish, you know. You had three parents? Yeah, he was like, you know, I, uh, I just, I fight, you know. Oh, shit. This is how he's talking. Yeah, I fight. Okay.

My father taught me how to break bones. Oh. Okay. You know, I break bones, man. You know, I was, you know, I had to stop breaking bones. bones. Because I can stop breaking bones.

This is the conversation. Okay. And I'm leaned over like, you know what I'm on the thing like this? Are you fully naked? Are you fully naked? No, no,

no, this is one of those chair massages. So you're like sitting in the chair and he's like, you know what he's. And then yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, yeah, yeah, this is a, hit this one time and you can, uh, what? Take somebody out, you know?

Okay. And he's like, he does it. Yeah, it's the spot right here. And he hits me a couple times. I'm like, okay. You know what I mean? Is this Stevenson?

For the whole 30 minutes. Oh, no, it's annoying. The whole 30 minutes. Did it feel good at least? It was spectacular. Yeah, there you go. And I'm trying to enjoy it. Not hurt me, yeah.

He's like, his thumb was like two thumbs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, later, two thumbs. I felt his strength, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But things he's saying, he was like, he's basically telling me how he went to jail and he like, you know, and he's going,

and I'm thinking to myself, why are you telling me all this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like, bro. But it was just... I mean, but where was this?

Definitely lying. In Terminal B, you know? Wow. And the guy was just... But I'm telling you... Yeah. You know, he's like, yeah. You know, while he's doing the neck,

he's like, you know, right, just... You know... Oh, God. He's like, right here is like, you know, this feels good here, but, man, if I put more pressure here, you know, I'm like... Yeah, all right.

Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. It was just, Just let me know when my flight's boarding. What do you do? And, you know, what do you do? Because there are certain times, listen, I personally hate when I don't want my barber talking to me. I don't.

I don't want to masseuse talking to me. There's certain times you just kind of zone. I'll talk if I want to zone. You're just kind of zoning out. I just want to zone out right here. Oh. Oh, the Uber driver. When I was in L.A., buddy.

Buddy. No, but there's a, on Lyft at least there's a button you can press. I know on Uber too, but, you know. Who follow it? Sometimes they just ignore it. They're like, fuck it. Where are you from, y'all? God damn it.

I always say quiet and put the heat on. I don't care what degrees it is. This is what I hate, though. This is what I hate. The Uber driver is like, where are you from? You got to go like this. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you read the card? Dude, yeah. I go like this. You can't even at that point you go, oh, you don't care. That's why it's great to take an opener when you travel because you just go like this. You go like this. I used to do that and fucking,

I'd be like, Linotia, I'm not doing the shit. Danny, I'll do it. Like, yeah, I talk to this guy. I can't. It was just like, but I don't know. Like I say, shout out to the guy. Great.

Sure. The thing. But it was just like, sometimes like the book doesn't match the cover or. Right, right, right. One of those type of, you know, and I thought to myself, this is a really nice.

You could tell though, it wasn't menacing. He was a nice guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I could also tell this guy could. Yeah. Yeah. probably killed someone.

Yeah, well. Or not. You know, you just does, you just gives massages and lies his ass off. Yeah, because you think they do a background check

when they fucking hire somebody for the airport. It's funny that he's saying this. Because part of me thought to myself, is this you like masculineing this up? Because you're giving a massage. Right, right, right.

You know what I mean? Like, that's how Brendan would do it. Basically, the whole thing is like, you know, I'm not gay, you know. I kill people for a living. Right. I put Brendan's given it was like

I put trucks together Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah just so you're aware man You're tight there But anyways Just so you know man I'm a black belt Yeah yeah

I felt like I was like Is this part of it? You know so it was just You know I don't know I just had a It was just one of those weird One of those weird experiences man

You know I was just like It was not weird It was interesting Yeah Which makes it fun You ever got one of those massages And for whatever reason

I don't let males massage me, right? Really? For a reason, it was just a big hefty girl. And I was like, all right, I could use a massage. My hamstring, it was messed up. So I'm like, let's get the hamstrings, right? Get on my ass cheeks.

Big hefty girl comes in. And this is no happy ending. It's not in rug maps. None of that. It's a legit place. You know, $150 massage. She comes in and the music's all relaxing. But her breathing fucked up.

Oh, buddy. It was. Oh. Fuck. It's so mean. It's so mean, but so real. You know what if you get a massage is just... Yeah.

Oh, bro. I thought it was fucking Bain giving me a massage. Oh, my God. You got to save some auction for the rest of us in this. No one cared who I was until I took a put on the mask. Go ahead. No one cared. No one cared why I wasn't until I touch your back.

Talk about the glutes. It's still, wait a minute, as soon as he said that, I was like, I saw you do it. I said, I was like, here we go. Here we go. That was the setup. That was an alley-you. You just threw an underball. You just threw an underhand ball to the plate, baby.

Go ahead. I was like, here we go. Trying to wait Chris up. Try to wait Christopher up. Your back goes really tight. I knew it was coming. Do you mind if I use oil? Oh shit, oh shit.

And then he's talking about like, he would be talking about, I used to beat up that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I had a... Oh, fuck, dude. I felt your body. Do that, here we go. Oh, man, you just... If this was a race, Brennan just went like this.

It's so funny. Even Bain's trying to let you know he's not gay. Yeah. This is just a side gig. I would actually defeated by no one. I'm not looking for badwam. I got a, I was in Minnesota. Not Minnesota.

I was on Montana and got a big girl. Yeah. Big girl comes in. But I don't, I like them to be strong. So I don't care. Yeah, I don't really care either. I will be honest. If there's, if it is, I don't preff, I don't, if they say,

Would you care male or female? I go, no, I don't care. But if a guy shows up... Man, folding laundry, letting dudes massage you? Buddy, you're close. I don't get a fuck, though. You're close. You're close, Bubba.

You're close. It's fine. It's fine. I don't care. No, I know. But it's, you know... Bro, I've been waiting to be gay forever, but it's not happening. Yeah.

Then you got the fucking, you know, the... Yeah. You got the weird fucking Airbnb. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm just saying, I'm just saying, though, because this is the thing. I guess I'd rather it be a woman. However, I know if it's a guy, it's going to be a stronger massage, usually, usually.

So I like that because a lot of times women don't do it hard enough. They really don't. Well, what if you need a big rushing. But what if like, you're, I mean, I've had women that do it hard enough for sure. But what if you're like, you know. Get those ties to step on your back. But what if there's a, this is the guy, you know? Oh, my God.

One of the best in the Asian thing is great. One of the best uses of AI. Welcome to tranquil loaded spa. Take your booty shorts off. I'm sure you saw from washing your truck. Is that how it cost them? Oh, my God. You guys, this is sometimes.

AI is out of control, bro. Remember at Will Smithy and spaghetti? now you can't even tell it that's not Brendan and not Bain. Nick, bro. By the way, by the way, we've never got a request for Nick. Nick just puts in quotes, Bain, and in quotes, he put, Would you like me to finish you all?

That's what Nick's request was. I wanted to do it, but I could do the boys. Sure. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Would you like to flip around? Oh, man. Would you like to fish off?

That's amazing, dude. That's amazing. Nick never had a request. That's amazing. What a fucking great request. What if like, you would finish you off? Yeah.

If you were doing the UFC thing and it was like, they brought in like a specialist. You know, and the specialist is just, this is a, it's a doctor guy. And he's like, get out.

Get out. You don't even want that. You don't want a guy that knows what's going on. Like, he's hitting your thing. Get out. Get out. Get out. I'll figure this energy.

I'll figure the injury out on my own. But that one. Okay. Okay, though. All right. I understand. And I'm not, and you're not gay.

However, this is a, there is a point where you go too far in that direction. And you're like, oh, you're scared because you're going to suck, you think you're going to suck his dick. Not that that's where you're at,

but like, there are guys. No, my thing is it's just awkward because of massage. Yeah, no matter how you paint it, it's very intimate. Yeah, I get it. And when you got like, especially, man, my hamstrings are all tight. So you got in that booty hole, dude.

I'm not trying to. Yeah, I don't want a guy massaging my inner booty hole. I do, I do get that. No, but here's the thing, though. Here's the thing, though. If it's, okay, if it's a deep tissue massage. Right. And it's a guy.

Yeah. That's probably, and it's clinical, you know? Yeah. It's like, oh, you know, hold your leg. He's like doing the things. But if it's like one of those where you just want, I want a relaxing massage. Sure. Then that's when.

Yeah, okay. Maybe it's going to feel a little bit. You know what I mean? It's going to feel a little weird. Because also, let me tell you something too. Like if you choose woman, right, which I don't think I ever have. I don't really get many massages, but if you choose woman, right, and you, and you're waiting for the woman to show up, right?

And I don't know because I don't, I've never done this, but Keep going, Chris. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Hoping for an attractive woman. Ding ding, ding. But that's what I'm saying.

Like, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. Because I don't know. Wait, wait. I don't know. Let me just say. Yeah, yeah. That's one of those things.

Yeah. You never say out loud. Right. I understand. No, I understand. But we're all, we're all thinking. Wait, wait. Because this, everyone's had this moment.

Yeah. You're waiting there in your room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. door opens and then what do you do? It's just like,

yeah, it's this moment when you go, oh, this is going to be a good massage. Right. Yeah. Because you know why she's there. She's good at her job. Oh, you're good at your job.

But if she's attractive, even, you know, it's a nice place, there's still something in your head. There's still something in your head. There's still something in your head where you're like, you never know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a woman that was attractive once giving a massage.

And I was like, oh, wow, she's way too hot to be doing this. And she did it. It was totally professional and everything. Like, it was like, you know, but it was wild. Yeah, but there was a moment where you want to go like this. Yeah. Well, that's the thing because then it becomes and like, I don't know. Like when they're working your inner thigh and you're like,

yeah, I'm locked up. Oh, you woke him up. Yeah. Oh, you woke him up. So you woke him up. But then let me ask you a question. That's why I like it. You woke him up.

Now, let me ask you. I like when the old Asian woman comes in. Yeah, I don't, yeah, yeah. But still, you're welcome up? You're so sore here. You're so sore. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

I'm like, okay, cool. You know, I just. Ah, 10-hot, bitch. My thing is like, I feel, my eyes are closed. Yeah. I don't, I like the tranquil music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell them something.

Well, you're all about the experience. Yeah, I'm like, hey, I might fall to sleep and I'm going to snoring and making noises. I'm so sorry. Hey, Eric, have you ever asked them to switch the music? No. No. No. I'll be.

Oh, well, that's crazy. I'm like, buddy. That's great. Oh, I'm for sure getting jacked off. Oh, nice. You got Avichi on? Yeah, yeah. Buddy.

And then I just go to finish you all. Yeah, I've had some weird. I've had some weird ones. Yeah, I, you never. But my favorite thing, and this is just my thing. I like when they do I like getting scrubbed Oh man this fucking dude

Yeah I like a elephant Yeah He's fucking laughing so hard They're just at all Yeah you know what's funny You know what's funny is he must have in the last month or two Seen on TV or something

An elephant getting scrubbed He's too He's too happy and excited to be able to bring that. I know. And in his mind, he's like, yes,

I can do a bat. Here we go. At the same time. Well, you did, though, didn't you? Scar. I saw it on

Instagram, just someone bathed in an elephant. Bro. And he was hairy like Eric. Come on. Wait,

hold on. The fact that I was able to call that out, that's fucking good. That's great. I could tell by the way you laughed. And now.

Too excited. Now, you all can eat shit. I don't remember if it's this podcast or Lifeline, but when they say, why do you always ask

why someone's laughing at something my brother always gets mad at me for that I say because I like to know so I can know shit like that because it helps my profession dude yes and that's why I'm a professional dude yes facts dude facts yeah I fucking knew you saw that shit bitch

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the fairly odd parents and ghosts. Pluto TV is always free. Hazzam! Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. I did a thing recently where a guy, where a friend of mine, me and a friend, were both experiencing a new guy

for the same amount of time, okay? Oh, dude. No, I know, it sounds good, but I just, oh, I'm trying to keep it vague. Real quick, real quick, if I was like, you know, Chris, and they're like, no, no, I'm like, yeah, he fold his old laundry. And experiences guys. He only likes male masseuses. And experience his guys.

And has a fucking Harry Potter Airbnb. They're like, oh, he's gay, right? I'm like, no, he's not. Wow. I guess he does sound like. Magical gay, though. So, so I say, uh, this is real gay people watching this being like, you don't know what gay is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What I'm trying to do is be vague enough to where I don't want to call this person out. So. Oh. Yeah. I don't like this. Yes. This is not, this is terrible. That is.

Eric never elaborated on getting scrubbed down. Yeah, that is honestly, that is. Yeah. That is a poster to a horror movie. Yeah. Like legit, I would see that. I'd be like, I gotta see that. I would beat Brendan up if that was that.

So, yeah, hell yeah, you would. So I have a, I have a time where I, recently it was, I have a friend. And we met a guy and we spent the same amount of time with this guy because we were together. And it all sounds so gay. But it's a bro date, right? No, it wasn't though because it was over a few instances. Yeah, but it's like he's the new guy. Kind of, but it was a work thing.

So anyway. Yeah. And I said to my friend after a few weeks of it, I said, you know, I really. I like this guy, but he's so annoying. And my friend laughed so hard because that is exactly the experience he had. You all get it. Yep. You know, and when you have that and when you can call it out, bro, it's, I mean, it is a relief, you know?

Yeah. Because the whole time I'm like, am I an asshole? Right, right, right. Because he's, he's a nice guy. I, you know, I don't, I can't say I don't like him. Are we all right? He's just, I just. don't want to, I don't know, man, you know, and those people are fucking, but you and that guy,

but we're connected on that. Do you guys get closer? Right, right, right, right. I have this new group of friends, right, and I got invited to this thing. Yeah. I'm on their private jet. I don't know him very well. And we were with this other guy and they know him really well. I'm the new guy. Right, right, right. They don't know me very well. Right. And I just go, hey, I know we've only known each other like a date. Am I free to talk out loud? Can I, can I just express something? Yeah. I go, that guy, that guy, guy's gay. Yeah. Oh,

there we go. That brought it. It crushed. Yeah. That brought you all together. Yeah. We were all thinking it. We're high fiving.

One of the guys was like, I fought them off. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's stuff like that. Yeah, brings you tighter as a unit, you know.

That is funny. Well, the thing for you, though, I think it was more of like the acknowledgement that I'm not terrible. Yes. Someone else sees this. Yeah. Yeah. It's really much a

way. It's a really much of the same way. Yeah. So, it's a release. least you go, who, okay, I thought this was just me. I know, that is funny because, and I hate those ones because I had those moments all the time, because you're just like, I hate, you know, you're like, you're going through an experience

like with this stewardess, you know, this flight attendant. You're going through this moment where I just, you know, I'm going to be like, okay, this was unnecessary. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's unnecessary to be like this. But Chris, to your point, have you had it with something like that where you're like, man, that guy's really nice to be so annoying.

And your friend goes, great. No, Greg's all? What? Yeah, dude. Are you asking, are you asking if I have a wife? I mean, dude, I'm always like, oh man, what's this fucking person's problem?

She's like, you know, don't be such an asshole. Yeah. Oh, I can. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, dude.

Have my bad. What are we talking about right now? No, no. Or then I'll get mad. I'll be like, that guy's a tool. And for instance, Brian, he's not. He's actually pretty cool. I'm like, oh, fuck.

Then we're arguing about it. Well, Brian's your wife. You know, Brian's like a wife. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're married. But, uh, yeah. Sugar daddy though, God damn it.

I don't. Yeah, that's, I don't know when I did that. I was like, babe, I was like, can I? I don't have to run something by you. Isn't this wrong? And she goes, no. And I go. And I'm like, really?

And she was like, no, I don't think so. I said, okay. But, but, but, but you know what? I probably thought. No, no, no. I think sometimes it's 50-50 of like, this is a great video example of this, but there's a couple at a supermarket and then the girl's got a bag of oranges. And she's grabbing the oranges and she's putting it in the bag. Her husband's standing right next to her.

He's grabbing oranges out of the bag that she just put the oranges in and he's handing it to her. And she looks at it and goes, oh, that's funny. You know what I mean? And it says that's marriage. Yeah. So I would say 50% of the time. It really is, isn't it? But 50% of the time, she probably does a good.

agree with you. Yeah. But sometimes they just like, I don't want to agree with you. Totally. Totally. Totally. You know?

Well, because when they do agree. It's our history that she's using it to color. Yeah. Yeah. Because sometimes like what I do love is like Rachel and I will be on the same page about about something. Yeah.

Well, that's like the best feeling ever. I mean, dude, obviously I'm on the same page with my wife. Most of the, like with all the important things. It's great, but it's just not funny to talk about. I know. I know.

You know. I've been trying to do that. I've been trying to add this part to my act because I talk about, you know, I talk shit about being married and married couples and shit. It's funny. It's, it's all. And I want to do a part. I've been trying to work on this part where it's like, by the way, I love my wife,

you know, like this isn't, this doesn't mean just because I'm doing this talking shit like this, it doesn't mean that I'm like fucking I'm angry with her. Like I love her. And I want to turn that into some sort of. to comedy. Well, I'll tell you something I say. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Because I talk about Rachel a lot of stage, you know.

So I'll say like, listen, I know you, if my wife was here right now, trust me, she'd be in the bag and she would say this. This is all about me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. I got off, she was, like, the whole thing I'm talking about her. Everybody's laughing and she says, and she was so excited about it. She's like, oh, that was all about me, no matter what you say.

So. Right, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. You just have to like, what's, yeah, yeah, I don't know. You just have to like, what's to, you know, you get to figure out what the perspective is of, like, be, what do other people see? That only, people that aren't married are the only ones that say that. I know, I know, I know. I was saying like, something happened, something happened recently. Somebody said something to me about, oh, you know what it was?

I've been, I've been posting a lot of pictures of Billy lately because he's at that age where it's just like everything is fucking. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? He's three. Nobody cares about my stand-up or anything. I put a picture of Wolf and I and there it's like you know Right so and I and and and I and I

And and and and I and I and I and I and and I and and and and I and and and and and so And so he's not fucking up words and like it's not you know Yeah he's aged out. He's aged out. So so so uh I posted uh something about Billy again and some guy wrote um it's obvious this is your your favorite son and I'm like oh immediately I know this guy who does not have kids.

Like you just don't get it. Like that's the stupidest thing to say. You don't understand the age range. You don't understand the good. Like, but it was just so telling. Like it was one of those things. Well,

yeah. Did you respond back? Did you respond back? I found him. And I honestly, we started dating. Hell yeah. Yeah.

No, but that's such a real thing. Yeah. Of like when you, because I've just experienced that. Yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah.

Not having kids, having kids. Yeah. A whole different perspective on. Right. Right. Right. On everything. On everything.

I know. If it doesn't change you, you're just a fucking sociopath. Yeah, or just. Super selfish. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't really understand when somebody gets to be, when you're old, when you're old enough, 50 something and you don't have kids. You know, I would say 99% of the time, that's a choice.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And like, I don't. I don't. Brendan would say. But I don't understand what I don't really understand. There's other warlocks out there. They can get together.

Yeah, true. They should do like finding like love is blind, but no fine people, just all warlocks. Oh, wow. Warlock Island. No, no, that because, you know what? Warlock Island. Yeah, but you know what? That would show.

A bunch of twos. No, no, no. That would show exactly how shallow people really are. That would just expose that even further. The point. And we're talking numbies, Eric. Yeah, umbys. Warlock Island?

Yeah. Oh, fuck. Just get a fucking also, just like a, a board in there, too, like just a real board. I just call it twos. No, I tell you, I'm, too. Two's. Too's. That.

Do you love it? Bro, that twos is one of the funniest fucking, yeah, but who would even apply for that show? You got a bunch of two. Wait, no, you would tell the people. Wums would. No, you would tell them. I hope I get it. No, but you would tell these people the show is called nines.

No, no, no. You couldn't, they would know. Or you'd have a three. Or you'd have a three, like, I'm about to dominate this shit. I've said this before, but. Chews is hilarious. The way to fix that show, Love is blind, is you tell everybody that there is one person who is a 10. No, it's a one.

Oh, got it. You tell it, everybody there, they're all attractive, but you tell them, by the way there's a one. There's a one out there. There's a one out there. So it changes. I disagree. So then it changes how you're,

because you're in that booth like, yeah, so. Yeah. Wow. Now there is a one out there's love. It really is blind and you, you have the dudes that are attractive and make their girls

ones. And then they connect on a, you know, emotional level. And then they bring them out. Let's see how many of them stay together. They don't stay together. They're already doing that.

That already happens. Love is not. blind. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. You know what then? Fucking take the voice out of it and just have you text message each other. And whoops, what if you get a guy?

Yeah. Oh, well, you're gay now. Love is blind. Yeah, love is blind. No, love is not blind. You've connected. Let's see some titties. That's a weird.

That particular show is so crazy to me. I have. I do love it. Zero desire to watch that Love is Blind show. I don't watch it anymore because of that. Because the whole idea of reality, look, I don't like reality TV a lot, but the whole idea of watching a dating show is seeing two people together be with each other. Why would I want a fucking wall in between them? No, it's great.

No, it's great in the beginning. I've seen it. Yeah, I love the beginning. I hate when towards the end, I'll always fast forward to the wedding to see who sticks together. I love the beginning. But no, for me, it's like, I'm watching and I go, he's not going to like her. Yeah. So I'm out.

It's too easy. You know what I mean? You see something you go, when you see two people, let's say you hear about them and you go, oh, they got a lot in common. Yeah. And then you go, they're also both attractive. Let's see if this works. But when you see like you go, I just don't know, he's not going to. She's not going to like him.

He's not going to like her. I'll tell you what. You guys like love on the spectrum. You ever looked up how many of them stay together? Not many. Well, they're hard to be with. Not many. They're really hard to be with, dude.

I think there are more couples I think there are more couples from Big Brother that have met on Big Brother that are married No, no, no, they're not all hot Oh no. I think that they've,

those relationships have stayed together more than the Bachelor more than a lot of the like What, like two or three that stay together? I fucking had dinner with a guy that he was on the Bachelor they're married now. Most of those shows like those like date that's just it's not going to work.

I tried to watch one one season of like one of the bachelors and i was just like i was just so like this is ridiculous yeah it's too over done i mean no but towards the end when you're like going on you're going on three romantic dates oh yeah it's crazy i just think that's crazy yeah i'll take them all and then but the person that's like you're date number one i'm like no yeah you're choosing me right now right right right no my my my favorite is when they get to the point where they get to stay the night and he just sleeps with like seven different bitches in two days. I wonder, do they really fuck a lot?

Yeah, there it is right there. Several showments have turned into lasting marriages. Like, I'm a big, big brother person. I love Big Brother. Click on the picture. Click on the picture. I'm not a fan of any of it. Oh, I love Big Brothers.

My favorite. No, Big Brother is one of the OG ones. I love Big Brother because it's like, it shows the worst in people. Mm-hmm. Oh, see which ones stay together. This guy, look at them, bro. Of course they're together. Got you.

There's a lot of couples like that. Yeah, but click on the pictures to the married ones. I actually feel like that's pretty high for The Bachelor. I mean, like that right there? Yeah, yeah, and the right. Well, the Bachelor's not real. To Eric's point, it's like, oh, he's taking us on a private helicopter the top of the Eiffel Tower.

It's like, yeah. And then when this show ends, bitch, he's in a one-bedroom apartment in Austin. Right, right, right. No, but I think what you love them. But I think what happens, though, is that there's a, there has to be a part of you that I got with you and. God, the drop of the fall off of that show's got to be so. What I'm saying? Because you, you were with like these other two people.

You said you loved them too. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. So you're, there's a part of you that's like, I don't. Yeah, no, I know. The competition of it. I don't care about the competition of it.

You know, I think there's been suicides from that show. There's been like, you know. The best show, the love was. was flavor of love, where flavor of flave just terrible looking was fucking all those bad bitches like nonstop. And then remember the what was the name, Michael's? Was it Sean Michaels? Remember he had the Rock of Love?

Okay. Oh, right. Brett Michael. And he just slang dick left and right nonstop. It was just a bunch of groupies. That show was awesome. Oh, wow. That's why the show that like they keep trying to whatever like some paradise island or

whatever. or some shit like that. And then the people are there. And then like, everybody's getting with everybody. Then all of a sudden they go. And now your ex is here. Right.

On the beach, there's your ex-girlfriend. Just come walking up. You're like, what the hell? I mean, that's the only ones that seem to like hold your interest because it's like, oh,

this is just all chaos. But when you're doing a show that you're legitimately trying to make people fall in love and you know what it took for you to do it, I'm out. Because I'm like, that's, this is ridiculous. Yeah, sure

It's all ridiculous I get it It's also not for us Right Right Well you watch it You fucking both do you No no no I don't watch

I don't watch American Idol no more The only one I watch like that is 90 day fiance I can't watch any of that stuff Because it's so crazy Like even the fucking You know Every now and then my wife would be like The Mormon wives one I'm like

I just can't watch it dude I don't Remember There's a new documentary right now about are all awful. There's a, oh yeah. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, they are. They're awful. Who's the main Mormon dude with like the five wives and together they don't equal to ten? They're just all busted. That show.

Brendan, Oh, that's a reality show. Every time the commercial, every time the commercial for that comes on, I think to myself, ew. Yeah.

You know, I know, buddy. Yeah. He thinks he won. You're like, Oh, no, bro. This is a prison sentence. One hot one is already a nightmare.

Right, right, right, right. Mighty Gould of six. You're just all busted. Just one attractive. Yeah, one attractive wife has already too much to deal with. That is, his original one looks like a giant gerbil now. You're like, God, dumb. A giant jub.

Dude, how about how. Bring her up. How about how men in, like, the 50s and stuff used to have secret families, you know? Well, because there was no internet. Oh, I know. I know. But that's just, that's just insane. No, no, he's awesome.

I went to high school with him. But that's just insane. I'm talking about the real guy. I think his show was on TLC. What was on? Eric, you know what's up. The Mormon guy with the six.

Oh, yeah, it's on Bravo. They're just six warlocked. Yeah, it's on Bravo. It's one of those or, yeah. It's bravo. Have a little pride, pal, Jesus.

You don't have to wife from a while. It's called Sister Wives. It's called Swamp Things. Yeah, there it is. Sister Wives. And they're always fighting. The one on the far right's the big hamster. They're,

look at a hey Brandon you didn't have to point that out they all have the same hair except for the middle one even the guy is there he looks like a chick as well in that yeah

this is what he's married to all these people that's Photoshop though go to real pictures and she looks like a fucking human hamster okay well all right tone it down

those are nope you gotta go you can go to images and then cut the eye shit out where it's all photoshopped yeah they're not gonna have real pictures out there well I'll just go to

This is weird. Yeah, there's the gerbil. And they're always talking about their issues. Here's the thing, they're always talking about their issues. And I just think to myself, look at them dressed like the Power Rangers in different colors. I know. And the one has the Quagmire jaw on the left?

Where? Power Rangers. The one with the giant jaw on the left, quagmire style. This is all fucking weird, man. It's a weird show. Who the fuck would want to do this? Who wants that stress?

There's a lot of weird. one's on. There's another weird one on right now called Unexpected and it's like these young teens they got pregnant and then they're dealing with it. You're just kind of like, my god. These cameras out of here. Yeah. It's like, what are we doing?

So I don't know. It's weird weird energy out there. Well, I told you guys about that show a day in my body. I told you about that, right? Uh-uh. Oh, but this is a show for Eric. You got a guy with no jaw. You got a guy who was working a forklift and he has no legs. The fuck you find this shit.

Right. Oh, and then what? And then it shows their life, man. It's a fucking disaster. Oh. It's on TV? Or you watch it on like,

Yeah, bro. TV, bud. Yeah. I don't want to. A day in my life. And the guy has, he was, he was 20 years old, in shape, working a forklift. Hmm. They asked him to move something heavy.

He fell out, rolled down the hill. The forklift said, I'm coming with you. It crushed his legs. Decapitated from his hips down. No weiner. Nothing. He's still alive. Just decapitated.

With one arm. And his girl stays with him. Oh, hell yeah. Wow. And then there's another guy on there, black dude. Born, no jaw. Just here? Nothing.

I wish we had a computer so we could bring it up, but we don't. I don't know which guy it is. Who is this? Yeah, you haven't even said the show. Yeah, we don't even know the name of the show. Day in my life. I think it's on HBO. If you just tape Day My Life cast.

Yeah, that's, that sounds terrible. All those guys have jobs. No, no, that's a fucking romantic comedy. Day of My Life, uh, show. Show where the guy has no, just a show guy with no jaw. One day in my body. One day in my body. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Idiot. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Oh, oh wow. Oh, yeah. No, no, she's the hottest one on there. You gotta go to the...

Bro. Is that my masseuse? With no... The guy with no legs, man. Oh, no leg. You got to take it in. You got to take it in. This guy's a real trooper.

Oh, fuck. He's part of the couch. There is. In the red. In the red. Oh, wow. Damn. His girl stayed with him.

Well, he's got to understand when she's like, yeah, I'm going to go. Yeah. How do you? I'm going to the bar tonight. Oh, my. He's like, the hell you are. Bring me along.

Put me as a backpack. I mean, you have. But how do you? My God. It's wild, bro. Because it shows him before, healthy, all good. And now he has viruses all the time. Like, you know, his body is fucking, he's tough, man.

Do we ever see him off the couch? Are we sure he's not in there? You know, he, it's, At least it's a puppet show. He gets up to, he's just full. The other guy holding him. Go to the guy with no jaw, Nick. Now, this is what's interesting, is the guy with no jaw.

A girl picked him. Because she didn't meet him and he had a jaw. There he is, the black guy. And his girl's not bad. Look at him. Oh, shit. She's good. She's pretty.

Well, yeah, because he's... Well, this guy looks like he knows what's up, though. Because this part thing right here... Oh, that's the improv. Look. This thing here goes in her butthole. Oh, very. No, I bet you he has a fucking

Terradactal tail for a wiener That's the only thing that makes sense So how does he eat though Bro You know seen it? Don't ask stupid questions A bag? I mean just

I mean this is interesting Through his nose You know It makes you appreciate You know just being whatever You know what I mean That's tough It's just like that one with the weird addiction

Yeah Things that people are like Were they like chalk and shit That's always weird I wonder who they saw that night at the improv I wonder if he laughed. Wow. Imagine this guy's in the front row of your show.

But how do you? Oh, God, this motherfucker mentioned it for 20 minutes. I'd kill this guy. But you know what? And he would love it. No, I know, I know. That's why he's there. Oh, man, that's just a way to end of episode.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, it's okay. I mean, don't forget about a... I'll be in shock. I thought you guys would have fun with it. I'll be in Sean Berg, Illinois. I'll be in New Westminster. Why, they're flourishing.

They got a TV show. They're moving on. Are they flourishing? No problems. I forgot. I forgot. I forgot to be in San Jose. Los Vegas.

No, I just wasn't on my website again. Nashville. They were actually great. They were actually great. I mean, the late Friday one was not sold out. But it was good. This guy is doing your website.

You want me to talk to him? I got to have a fucking. His name is Claude. No. What if it was? Anyway, to go to Krista.com. Oh, boy. Look at this.

Look at delicious. Oh, boy. Talk to the moon. That's this weekend. Raleigh and Braw. You know. All right. You got a show coming up with Andy Dick.

Oh, yeah. That's, uh, uh, uh, Jay Davis's night because I even put my local shows on there, baby. Calabasas is comedy club. Well, that's some, some country club. It's, uh, oh, when's that? That's like, who got, who gave me that? A, uh, uh, uh, shoemaker. He called me, hey, man, I do this show every year.

You want to come do this? When is it? All right. It's a couple weeks. Yeah, baby. Well, I'm sorry. You go to my store now, Nick. Even though it's my old merch.

So I'm going to get some new merch now. Oh, yeah. Claude put up this store. Yeah. I did all this myself. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, that's fine.

That's not a good website. Are you kidding me right now? This part. Oh, well, that's because I'm using the T-spring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But I'm saying at least I at least incorporated it. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, no, it's good to have it. Does it just print on demand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just print on demand. All right. Cool. Sounds good. All right, dudes.

Thanks, guys. Yeah. Later. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. We're coming at you with everything we got. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra.

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