The Golden Hour - Direct Line to what's Funny | The Golden Hour #124 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

The guys roast Erik for his outdated website, celebrate Brendan and Casey's birthdays, question why Chris loves singing but hates music, and talk forgetting toiletries whilst traveling, their "Rider" lists, Nick almost costing Erik his marriage by a prank and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastMint Mobile - If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com/goldenDraftKings - Download the DraftKings Pick Six app NOW and use code GOLDENQuince - Go to https://quince.com/golden for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Resolve to earn your degree in the new year in the Bay with WGU. WGU is an online accredited university that specializes in personalized learning. With courses available 24-7 and monthly start dates, you can earn your degree on your schedule. You may even be able to graduate sooner than you think by demonstrating mastery of the material you know. Make 2025 the year you focus on your future. Learn more at wgu.edu. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah. It's like a show you used to love. Just rape Brandon enough.

It's stronger, better, bigger power. Cause it is the Golden Hour. It's the golden world. I think Brendan left already. No, no, no. It's, well, here's the deal. It's Brendan's birthday now here. As we, you know, bring those waters in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Brendan's birthday and he's not here yet. He's being fashionably late because of his birthday. And these donuts are for him, but I already started. Yeah, but because that's honestly, I think that's the best thing to do. Yeah, we're on brand. We should think that's the best thing to do. Yeah, wrong brain. We should all take a bite of every single one.

We're all happy it's his birthday, and also we gotta be us. He's late, the donuts are here for his birthday, and then also, thanks so much, I gotta be me. And that's his gift. You know what, you're always the worst at that. Well at what I remember we used to go to 101 yeah, okay. We'll meet at 101. I get there. I'm done. You already like on the last bite of your meal Hmm, you know rude that is it's not because I'll wait till you're done. I'll chill. I want to eat with you

Yeah, I don't want to be eating and you're staring at me I want to eat with you. Yeah. I don't want to be eating and you're staring at me. That's rude, man. Yeah. You were rude back then. Is it rude, though? I think.

Yes, it is. Let's take a poll. Nick, poll. Yeah, I know people think that's rude. But I don't. I guess I feel like I understand. Of course you don't. Because then you'd really be a monster

if you knew you were being rude. I'm a trendsetter, though. I want to change the culture in that way. How? Eat when you want, sit the whole time until everybody's done. I showed up first, you didn't show up, I'm fucking hungry bro. Oh my god, did you do that for Thanksgiving? No, that's a different story.

Oh, why is it different? Because it's a holiday dude. They killed a bunch of Indians. Dude what's, bring up my website, look at it, it's a holiday dude they killed a bunch of Indians dude what's bring up my website look at it it's now no but look at it it's new so I want to show you you have a new website okay now I'm really gonna get my shit because mine mine was ten years old yeah it is though because yeah we go you got a hat Eric you got to get his guy and just have his exact old format. Yeah your new website Oh, yeah, you're always five years. You know what I'm gonna do

I'm just gonna copy this directly go down and I'm gonna just put my you know, it's gonna look exactly. Yeah, that's fine You can have me on it Portland, Oregon. I'll be there Cranston, Rhode Island Portland Maine Casper. I'll say yeah Cheyenne, Wyoming Denver Colorado, New York, Portland, Maine, Casper, I'll set you up. Cheyenne, Wyoming, Denver, Colorado, New York, Boston, Savannah, Georgia, Atlanta, Winnipeg, Regina, and then the south of Florida. I got a bunch of places. Go to chrisaleah.com to see me live. It's fun, man. I've been having a lot of fun on stage.

I've been staying. I've even gone to Huntsville, Alabama. You ever been to that, Huntsville, Alabama? You ever been there? Yeah, Huntsville's great. All right, I'm gonna be at, actually this weekend I'm gonna be with Rife, Matt Rife, he's doing two,

they already sold out these arenas, it's crazy. In Minnesota and Pittsburgh. But then next weekend, you can catch me on Friday in Ontario Improv, I'm doing two shows just Friday. And then, let's see, and then April, I'm out all month. So hyenas in Albuquerque, fourth and fifth, and then a mothership, 11th through the 13th, and then Kansas City, 17th through the 19th,

and then laughs in Seattle. Woo, April's gonna be, ah! Look at your website there. That, uh. I made it myself, okay? Okay. All right? Okay, so take Michael. Woo, April's gonna be hot. Look at your website there. I made it myself, okay? Okay. All right? Okay, so take mine away. So take mine away.

I wanna see like a whole page of Eric's website here. Take mine away. Okay. Okay, what is that? Oh, what is that on the right? Those are your dates? You can put a Google calendar there. I got it, got it.

So it makes it simple. Okay, fair enough. But I also have it where you know you can get the links and stuff when you go to schedule. This guy. Boom baby! But I gotta add. I mean that's that's easy to see right there. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. So you made it yourself. Yeah. How long does it take? Oh I did this a long time ago. No, no, I know But you're constantly updating the no no, that's easy. This part's easy But you know what they you know what's crazy right now is these I love that blue this particular I know you don't you piece of shit the the particular app they have AI now you just go What kind of website do you want you go?

You go I'm a comedian and boom boom boom And then they put together a website for you. So I just haven't, I need to like do it, but then I have to like do all this shit and I haven't done it yet, but I'm gonna do that. So now I have a question. What's four tickets and then you have three comedy clubs right there. What happened?

On the top there, what is that? That's just tickets for any show that even you're not on or what? Yeah, yeah, because I do so many shows. Got it, got it, got it. Okay, because you'll be there a lot. I'll be there a lot. People are always like, when are you gonna be? I go, well just go to those.

I got it, I got it, okay cool. That's funny. All right, cool. In LA. All right, yeah, well so honestly, you know, it's kind of impressive you made that. Freaking Nick over here, I don't know why you didn't just ask me to get you in, I would've got you in.

It's a pain in the ass. It's not. It's not. It's not. But hold on, so you. And then I asked, and then I told him too, I said, when you get here, tell me, cause I would've got you out of the line. It's real easy, bro, hold on so you and then I asked and then I told him to I said when you get here Tell me cuz I would have got you

Just brought you inside. It's real easy. Did we say what this was? No, we can't what either way It's like whatever no the goddamn comedy. God damn comedy jam Yeah, this show where where comics go up and they do some stand-up and then they also sing Yes, and then most people go no, I I't, no, it's not that I hate it. Josh Ademayor's got bless, oh, the show's great, I'm happy for it. I don't understand, I do not understand. Chris, you shut your face right now, listen to me.

What, what? If you did the Goddamn Comedy Jam, you would have so much fun. First of all, you'd be bitching about it, I don't wanna do this, but then you'd be up there, you'd do a stat, people would be like, oh, I love this. And then you'd be able to sing some song. But I resent that afterwards, that I had fun.

And I will tell you this much. I'll tell you this much. It's not that it's not fun. It's not that, this is the point. I don't understand the mindset of I want to see comedians sing a song. Why do people want to see comedians do this? Because why do comedians want to see comedians give advice with their brother? Well, it's a comment. You know, I'm just saying. We do give good advice.

What I'm just saying is like, it's all of the stuff that is why do you want to see a comedian act or why do you want to see a comedian do anything? It's because... You know what? They're natural performers. Yeah, I know. I just have... But here's the thing too though,

I feel like we always think that people want to see comics because they're funny. It's not necessarily because of all the things everybody does, it's about like the personality. So, yeah, okay. You know what I mean? And this is just a facet of it that makes people go, oh that was fun.

All right, so I guess, here's what, okay, so say there was a home building channel, a home building show, and you got comics to build houses. I guess, yeah, I guess I understand the appeal of that. Yeah. Yeah, okay, all right. You know what it is? I don't like music.

That's what I said! That's what it is. I knew it! That's what it is? I don't like music. That's what I said! That's what it is. I knew it! That's what it is. No, I figured out. Sometimes you gotta dig deep in yourself and figure. It's not even dig deep, you say it all the time. I don't like music, man.

But you like singing. I do like singing, but. So you make no sense. I don't make much sense. I don't know what it is about singing or music. I don't listen to music in the car, I don't listen to it. When people turn it on, I go, fuck. I don't know what it is about singing or music. I don't listen to music in the car, I don't listen to it. When people turn it on I go, fuck. I don't believe you.

When do you listen to music? Because we'll put on some old bullshit and you'll be over here knowing all the lyrics and shit. I know the old shit, man. Fuck, you're flying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the old stuff, man. Yeah, so at a certain point you do like music.

What is it attached to in your head? Yeah. There's something, you have some sort of negative association with music, you know what I mean? It's almost like- I think a lot of times music makes me feel a lot and I don't, I'm like, come on dude. I knew it.

And now that I don't listen to it a lot, when it comes on, it's like, oh fuck, because I'm not used to it. But you make it seem like- You put on David Gray, I'm fucked. You make it seem like your mom was like abusive and she was like, turn on Tupac and then she beat you to Tupac, you know?

Put on Dave Matthews, plan, plan, plan, plan. Plan, plan, plan. Plan, plan, plan. Plan, plan, plan. See, and the fact that you know Dave Matthews like that. You gotta know your enemy. But yeah, you gotta know your enemy. But I walk out of this room. You're my friend and I walk out. I go like this.

He's having fun. I go out. Look at that. The outfit you're wearing is so disrespectful for this song. And I have it on unbelievable. A different color. Even worse. Look at the guy standing up right there in the back. And then I did a melody. Check it out.

Oh, shut up. What did he do? What's this? We went into all night. You do two songs? I just happened to do this because Josh and? We went into it all night. You do two songs? I just happened to do this because Josh had a Meyers.

I fucked with him. Yeah. You know what happens is this. What happens is Josh is always like, you know, you got to, you're not Josh. He has fucking weird ass voice. He's like, come on, man, we got to rock out has fucking weird ass voice. He's like, come on man, we gotta rock out. You know, they gotta, nobody's gonna. He loves it.

And so, and I go, I go, nah man, I'm gonna, let's bring it down. Oh, that's nice. That is so Eric. Yeah, I said, I'm gonna. Suddenly life has its meaning to me. I'm gonna tell you something right now, it always smashes. I'm not, bro, I'm not saying it doesn't. Look at this,

this is great. The DM. Somebody sent me that. It's really a seething right now. And that made me... As in the group chat, you were seething. Yes I was and that made me really proud that that person knows what's up dude. Did you... Oh, did you... Wait, did I send a thing that the guy made a song of? Yeah. You gotta... Oh man, that's... This guy, shout out to this guy. This was a long time ago he made it I think. It said it was like 10 years ago I think. Or four? Four, maybe four years ago.

Six. Oh six, okay. Based off your... Look at that picture, you know? Yeah. Yeah. So. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's based off your bit. I know, yeah, so. It so It's based up your bit I know yeah, so So but then there's my favorite parts coming up that's kind of nice that's kind of nice You should come after this. My God. But this guy makes music, I guess, or what? Yeah. Liam Espinoza.

He sang this part, which is in my Netflix special. That's funny, yeah. That's good. Come closer to me. Yeah, that's right. That's how I said it too. Shout out to Liam Espinoza. How many, it's six years old.

How many views does it have? Not too many, right? Yeah, you get to retweet it or something. Yeah, I should, yeah. Yeah, so, well, alright, good. Hey, God bless you, you know. Look, dude, my fan base loves shit like that. Yeah, music.

Right. I don't know if they'd like it or not. Do you come out to music or is it just silence? I do, yeah, I do. Does it go like, ladies and gentlemen, Chris D'Elia! And then everybody has to be quiet. Yeah, that would be dope. You know what?

I've been coming out to the same song for so long. What song is it? It's your Lionel Richie rendition. No, it's a... That's what I'm coming out for now. Fuck, so long that I forget. It's a, I forget what it's called. It's a Denzel Curry song. I don't know. It's called something. There's no curry's good

But I don't listen to it It's so dumb dude, what are you talking I have I have I Talked about this a little bit on my podcast, but I had gone to Texas this past weekend. Okay. New rule, new rule. What, don't say that? Don't fuck with say that anymore. But I like to say that, you know why?

Why? Because if you wanna hear more in depth review of this scenario. Then you let the, you just said to our audience, hey I'm half assing right now. No, no. And I'm gonna just give you a little taste to preview to go to the other one.

It's not true because this podcast doesn't call for in-depth shit like that. This podcast calls for banter. It will. And silliness between me and you. If you want to learn about my trip, go to congratulations. I think you should say it at the end.

Okay, okay. At the end you go, and by the way if you want to learn more about it, you can't start with like, you know I've already talked about this in depth and it's way better on the other place. By the way I say on my other podcast I don't, it's not like I'm like congratulations whatever you fucking ruin that. You're standing. Everyone's running over to congratulations. But anyway, plus I don't want people to be like you already talked about this, you know they will. So I'm, whatever. They don't want people to be like, he already talked about this, you know they will.

So whatever, it's fine. It's physically impossible when I say something to not be like, oh I've said this on a podcast before. He's being honest with the audience. Exactly bro, oh you don't like fucking. He's already like moved on from Brendan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Third mic baby.

He's got a pig size, he's got a pig size. Oh man, this guy. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Third night, baby. He's got a pig size. He's got a pig size. Oh, man, this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Who's on my side over here? Kevin? Somebody on my side.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nobody. Chins are bending at us. So hold on. So I brought my, the first time I get to the hotel, and I just, I don't have my toiletry bag. Like I just. Oh, I hate that. Have you done that?

Yes. So I've never done that. It's a nightmare. How many times have you done that? A few, right? I've done it a couple times because it was like, maybe I got a last minute gig or I was packing late. Yeah.

And then you get there and you're like, what's the first thing you think about that you don't have? Well, okay, the first thing I thought about that I was worried is my glasses because I'm like, oh. But thank God I had them in in my backpack not anything So because if I didn't then I would be oh, I just a blind guy You come out with a dog So I have my glasses thank God I'm gonna work. Okay, I'm glad it's all weekend I can do that.

You've been on stage? Yeah, throw anything at me on stage, bro. Oh God, hear that, guys? Throw things at him on stage. So bring tomatoes, bring squash. I mean, I had, I was at the lab factory a few weeks ago and the mic just went out. You ever have that happen?

Yeah. And you just do it like a play? It's awesome, I love it. I love doing that. Yeah, same. So, so- People are actually more impressed with that. I know they are, yeah.

Well, it's a little more impressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Let's take a break, guys. Let's take a little break. Chris is already taking a break. You know, Chris is on your phone. You know what?

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Very cool. Watch CSI New York, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI and SWAT all for free. You can't outrun this. Resolve to earn your degree in the new year in the Bay with WGU. With courses available online 24-7 and monthly start dates, WGU offers maximum flexibility so you can focus on your future. Learn more at wgu.edu. So anyway, I did have my DUP kit,

so I go, all right, so I don't have my deodorant. I gotta go get toothbrush, toothpaste, you know. So, contacts. What's order of importance? Contacts are number one. Okay, so that's interesting for you. I just wear glasses so it doesn't matter to me and I always have them.

And I'll tell you, Cali-Tex is the most important thing to me because I have to, I can't get them on the road. Right. Right, so under that I would say is my medication. That's very important too. Oh wow. Yeah.

You're like a 75 year old Jewish woman. I'm being that way. I'm being that way. Somebody's auntie. I'm being that way. I need my glasses, I need my... Three is rosary beads. So I...

I... I... So, no. I can't... Oh no. Where are my rosary beads? What am I gonna do on a jet night? So, no.

And then, you know, anything else like deodorant and toothpaste, I can just go get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even at the airport. But I didn't know until I got all back to the hotel. So then I'm like, ugh. So I hit up, you know, and they're like, do you want us to send it?

You know, I'm like, nah. I did call my doctor, you know what I did, actually, for the first time? You can send a timed text now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, oh, it's seven a.m., I'm gonna send the timed text to my doctor, and, yeah, yeah. And I go, oh, it's 7 a.m. I'm gonna send the time text to my doctor and by the time I wake up I'll have medication at the closest

CVS. So I did that. I'm like a big boy. Yeah, yeah, I told everyone about it. My family, my mom was like, you're getting good at that. And so, so, so I got medication. I'm on one day without, one day without the medication. But then, I, so I'm like, fuck, I want to get home. I'm like, where the hell's this Dopp kit? So I got medication, I'm on one day without the medication, but then, so I'm like, fuck, when I get home, I'm like, where the hell's this Dopp kit? So I get home, dude, it's nowhere. I think it fell out in the plane or something. Oh no.

I mean, it's not a huge deal, it's annoying, but. I hate, okay, what's worse, the whole thing's gone. Right. Or. You forgot something. One thing is gone. Cause I can't stand, I use these like. I know the answer to that.

Specific type of deodorant. Yeah. You know, you take a shower, you're doing your thing, and then you're like, okay get ready for the show. You look in the thing and you're like, oh I didn't put. Cause now it's like, you're in the middle of it. It's one thing to know immediately, then you have all this time to figure it out.

But if you're like, oh, I left my toothbrush. Or boom, I left my deodorant. No, I wouldn't. You know what, for that reason, I have on my rider in the green room have toothbrush and toothpaste. Oh, I like it. Yeah, because sometimes I'm like, oh, I gotta, I'm really good about brushing my teeth,

but sometimes I wanna do it, I'll eat before I go on. I'm like, oh, I gotta, I'm really good about brushing my teeth, but I'm like, sometimes I wanna do it, like I'll eat before I go on. I'm like, I wanna have, you know. So yeah. You kinda OCD about that. You talk about, you've talked about that before. Too pressure, yeah. About constantly brushing your teeth and stuff.

Yeah, I used to be worse about it. I'm pretty chill now that I got my Prozac. What other weird shit do you have on your rider? Soda water. What? Soda water. What? Soda water. Soda water? When you came on this past weekend in 2018,

I had toothpaste, toothbrush, and. I know you had the coffee and I know you had the soda water, but you had the toothbrush? Yeah. That's funny. That was a big congratulations, guy. That was sweet, yeah. Yeah.

Was. No, you are, dude. And so, it's actually fucking going really well right now. But, no, I'm just saying, I fucking, I'm in the groove. Creatively, I'm just doing really well right now. On stage. Good for you. I'm okay here, you know, but like,

you really wanna see me knock out some shit going on? Yeah, but is this like pre-season? You're like taking it easy right now? It's an exhibition. Is it the podcast combine right now? What is this like preseason? You're like taking it easy right now? This is an exhibition. This is the podcast combine right now? No, so yeah, so now this is even worse. So I got deodorant and then I got home. I'm like, I'm gonna leave the deodorant in my,

in the hotel. I don't use this deodorant. And I got home, I don't have deodorant now. So I haven't used deodorant in two days. That's what that is. Matt has some weird stuff on the rider. Oh really? Yeah, like crustables.

Ew. Wait, hold on a second. It's like protein shakes, crustables, these like, what is it, like little shots of like, you know, turmeric, those kind of. Yeah, I get it. Immunity boosts. Immunity, right, yeah.

Yeah, immunity boosts and like. That's fucking. Yeah. But well, I don't, so I don't, I don't have many things on my rider, but I have like, you know, I have like turkey and cheese in case my kids come or something, you know what I mean?

They gotta eat something basic because they're not gonna eat fucking, I got fruit or vegetables, you know, just regular shit. Yeah. But, but, um, sometimes the stuff's not there, you know? Like they just, the place is just like, oh, we're getting, and I have four shots over ice, always.

Four shots of espresso over ice. But what would you even do anyway, though? What kind of monster... I've heard stories about people. Hey. I've heard stories about people, like, you know. Is there everything in you? You come into the green room and it's like,

you ask for a specific thing and it's not there. Yeah. What world would you be like, well, I'm not going on until. Oh, I'm not. You would never do that. But I'm saying. Marlon Wayans has, I don't know if he still does,

but he used to have a brand new white pair of I think Air Force Ones. No, it wasn't Marlon Wayans, that was Eddie Griffin. I thought it was Marlon Wayans. Maybe he does it too. Oh, got it. Famously it was Eddie Griffin. Got it, okay.

You know? Uh-huh. Yeah, so I don't know, it's like, He does it too. Famously it was Eddie Griffin. You know? Uh huh. Yeah, so I don't know, it's like, I like to, I don't really care, but you know. I don't really care either, man. It's like, when I'm going on a show, well especially where I do shows, it's like the most important thing is like, where's the hotel?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Do you? And I hate this, you know what I hate? I'm gonna say I hate to cut you out, but there's no room service anymore. Ever since the pandemic, man, you know you go into a hotel and you go,

do you guys have room service? Cause you just wanna like, and they're like, oh, you know, it closes at four or something like that. And I'm just like, what happened to the world, man? No, no, I don't give a fuck. Everyone tried to cut costs and it was so annoying, dude. I was at, I talked about this on Congratulations,

but when I had, okay. But I had a, one time I went, the first time I traveled, well, one of the first times I traveled after the pandemic, I was like at the hotel and I was like, is there room service? They're like, no. I said, there's no bellhop either because of COVID. So we had to take the bags upstairs.

So I was like, all right, cool. So whatever. And then, dude, all right, cool, so whatever. And then, dude, sit down in there, but let me finish this. But then, and then, what's up, dude? No, no, no, it's not. But then as I leave the hotel, they have a wedding ceremony. And I'm like, dude, don't use COVID to not do room service,

but then you have a wedding? Fuck off. Yeah. Happy birthday to you. Are you singing? No, I'm just having Yeah. Happy birthday Who's Casey Have you heard that? Is it actually today? Yeah. Oh wow nice. I see bros. Well, dude, look what

Not me got you who brought those From all of us from all of us. I already ate one. But you know that. You got your dozen with irrigated egg. I had one! You had the jellyfish? No, it's your birthday so I'm going to let you go ahead and have an extra fat joke.

Is that the one for you? I like these two. Oh yeah? How come? You like for you? I like these two. Oh yeah, how come? You like the glaze? Yeah, I like the glaze. And then like that style? I like old fashioned. Yeah, I like that style that's no.

I get you. That's yours now because you've touched it like several times. I was just like, yeah, it's cool, man. I would still eat it, I don't care. I like this one. You don't even wash your hands if you eat it. I like this one and this one. Oh, you like the basic glaze?

Yeah. You're a basic bitch. Yeah, I like the basic glaze. Well, there's nothing wrong with it. I don't like when people get fancy with their shit. These are good. Actually, I don't love that. That's fine. These are suspect.

Get out of here. Get out of here. Those are terrible. Get them out. Cream eyes? The only thing that should be in a donut is jelly. Well, those are jelly-filled. I like icing-filled.

I know, but that's not that's like yeah exactly it yeah fuck all that shit I don't be surprised dude I could you get a doughnut you know what I mean and the doughnut might as well go like this That was so crazy. That was perfect bro. You get those at ChrisLee.com. You know. He talked about it all along. Congratulations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, no that's hilarious. Yeah, the uh,

I don't want to be surprised. And the chocolates. Oh, get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Oh, dude. And then they have the fucking, you got a look and it's like, what? What is this one? They have the whole map. They have the map. Everybody's chocolate box you open it It's just bites. Yeah

They're looking for the caramel. They're looking for the caramel. Everyone wants the caramel. You're not playing Zelda. It's not like, let me check the key. It's so disgusting. Ugh. There's that spit on those but it's like dude raspberry fuck off, dude I want milk chocolate, but you wanna know you're getting into it. I don't need spreads. It's either a bar of milk chocolate or dark chocolate. You just get it and you're done. There's all this bullshit, you know what I mean? I can't stand that.

And it's always so expensive. You don't see a lot of them anymore though. What? Like full, like boxes of chocolate. Well still, you gotta go. It's full of seas. No, you gotta go to the like, it's always at some fancy place.

Like Air One has a great chocolate section, like that'll just, cause Rachel loves that shit. Yeah, but it's like chunks, it's always at some fancy place. Like, like Air One has a great chocolate section, like that'll just, cause Rachel loves that shit. Yeah, but it's like chunks and it's like cocoa. No, no, it'll be like, yeah, I know what you mean. You know what, no, but I'm saying like, like a box of chocolates is an older person's thing. Like my grandma would give me a box of chocolates for my birthday. But, but, but yeah.

And she'd be like, are you gonna eat the, are you gonna eat the Caramel Mom? Then nutritional facts came out. Once the nutritional facts started coming out and made it public, people were like, ooh, maybe we shouldn't. Do you remember when you would go to Starbucks years ago? I'm still trying.

Me and you? Just anybody. Oh, anybody, yeah. You would just go to Starbucks years ago, especially in California, and they would like, the muffin would be like this big. You know what I'm saying? You would get like, you'd be like,

God damn, that's a big ass muffin. Right? And then they changed, bro, they changed the law where you had to put the calorie count. And that's why they changed it. Because then they had this big ass muffin, you were like, 6,000 calories. McDonald's for a hot second was like, nah man.

They didn't want to do it. They didn't want to do it. They didn't want to do it. Is that really the law? Yeah. Yeah, it's law. That's why you don't see bacon a lot now on the menus at McDonald's, because the bacon jacked it up.

Oh really? That's what he, that's why. How do you know that? About the bacon? I know stuff. I think he's just saying stuff. Well they went, the muffins went from this size to this size.

That I understand, but the bacon thing, I feel like he's fucking making it allies But I think you're like doing like did your own detective work like this used to be bacon on these menus Look up it see if they remember they used to have you can get bacon on your own investigation Now Carl's jr. You can't not at McDonald's bro. You be eating fast food, huh? No, I just know my shit I grew up on it. Oh my kiddo's eat like my son on Saturday. I was so disgust disgusted with him He had two McGriddles Two hash browns and a McFlurry. Oh, yeah, he'll burn it off and I just went bud. We got tight now

Yeah, I just don't understand tight No signal a little break here cuz March Madness is here kids and one thing's for sure Nothing's for sure upsets buzzer beater Cinderella advancing yet the 16 seed being the one seed top seeds going home early It's all happening this March bet the unexpected every upset every day with DraftKings Sportsbook with live betting Exclusive content promos parlays DraftKings is the ultimate college basketball destination for more now number didn't let me ask you something What if it's your first time? Dude, here's something special for guys like you. New to DraftKings, customers bet five to get 200 bonus bets instantly.

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see dkng.co slash audio. I'm a big guy and I still, I don't get a McGriddle. If I want pancakes. I don't even know what that is. It's like pancake sandwich. You know the McMuffin? But instead of the muffin, it's two pancakes. Oh, that doesn't even sound good to me. That's what I'm pancakes, it's like pancake sandwich. You know the McMuffin? But instead of the muffin, it's two pancakes. Oh, that doesn't even sound good to me.

That's what I'm saying. I think my pancake's on the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's standard. And you know what else I do too? Even if I have a taste for pancakes, I don't, like when you go to DuPars, remember we used to go to DuPars?

DuPars has the greatest pancakes. But the pancakes would be like, you know, the guy comes over like here's your You need like an Indian woman to hold it on her head nobody um, I just sometimes I just got I just want one pancake Yeah, especially there Such a waste I feel bad sometimes that's what I'm saying. They go like well, we're gonna charge what I hate is when they say like, oh well, you're still gonna be charging for three. I go, hey, hey, bring me one pancake. Right, right, right, right.

I didn't ask you for math or nothing. I can't stand that kind of stuff. Or I go, can I have some broccoli with, whatever, you know, then you go, oh, we don't do substitutions. Hey, do you sell broccoli? Yeah. Yeah. Because if you sell broccoli.

Yeah, yeah. It's difficult. Bring me some motherfucking broccoli. I really like that though, I really like that. I like that energy. It's also embarrassing. No, no, but I'm like, I'm not. Not for me.

Your kids are gonna be so embarrassed. No. Dude, my dad, my dad. That was embarrassing. We had Burger King, we had Burger King. He orders onion rings. And you know, my dad's missing his finger. He puts his finger in the onion ring and goes,

oh, these are cold. He goes was you gotta make him again the guy goes what he is yet these are cold you gotta give me a fresh set the guys like but it's Burger King like making shit fresh right right right dude that's I hate or it was keep sending shit back it's embarrassing is being cheap okay so the person comes over maybe we're at a nice steakhouse type of place or whatever. It's an upscale. Well, if you're not, even if it's someplace like Fridays or something and you're just kind of like, Hey, I would like this. And they're like, Oh, well, we don't do substitutions. If you're fussing about that, why not? You know, potatoes and

this is the same. I'm saying charge me. Yeah. No, no I understand I get it, but it's policy But you know what it's just policy because you're the guys like can I get a side Caesar salad? Yeah, we don't we don't have a little side Caesar salad. No, I would never say that I would just be like it's annoying cuz you're not at a fucking steakhouse like I'll have a McDonald's cheeseburger Like they you're you're you're asking for stuff. They have yes, you know me saying. Thank you So like I'll have some Chinese food for the big rig with a side of season Yeah, but I feel like Eric's like I'll take out the prime rib and I can't get three ribs like well They give him back. This is what you got to do is say I would like a steak and I would like broccoli and I would

Like that thing and then you say and I don't want any backtalk So whatever it is, thank you. I don't want any backtalk so whatever it is thank you I don't want to do math. Without a side of backtalk please. Yeah yeah yeah. Listen I got Grains Dinkhouse protocol because the first I don't before I even look at it anyone would even say that is horrendous. You can hear all about it on Riffle with Griffin. You're gonna hear about it on Congratulations by the way. Just put them up at the same time and what no but I mean it's like you know I always ask the first thing I Just put them up at the same time. No, but I mean, it's like, you know, I always ask,

the first thing I ask, you know, when the guy comes, you know, I go, all right, what's the specials? Oh, the word. What specials you have going on in this kitchen? No, no, because it's not on the menu. They'll be like, ooh, they get excited. They're like, ooh, well, there's actually- And they start ripping out the specials.

An halibut with- Bro, I zone out so hard. I don't zone out. We actually have the sea bass today with a side... I'm all, oh, shut up. With a coconut crust with a special nut. Sometimes we flew in a steak from Japan and you're like, oh, how much?

And they're like, well, it's $3,000. But dude, I went to... Yeah, when I see market price, I'm like, what are we talking about? It's so funny, I went to, I don't think I'll ever forget this, but I went to a steakhouse in, er, a very high-end restaurant in New York with my dad,

my son, Calvin, we didn't have Billy yet, Kristen and one of her friends. Like Peter Lugers or something? I don't know, I don't really yet. Kristen and one of her friends. And Peter Luger or something? I don't know what, I don't remember. But my dad got the $300 steak. And I was gonna pay for the meal obviously, but Calvin ate it all. He was two.

And I was like, he better be fucking enjoying this. Oh my God. We just looked at him like this. As long as he's eating. Everybody. I know. Everybody you're calculating. As long as he's eating. I know. Everybody you're calculating. As long as he's eating.

$62. As long as he's, I don't give a fuck. But it was so cute. As long as they're eating. My dad was just like watching him eat it. He was like, you could have my steak, you know? And I was like, I don't know if they know I'm paying for this. The problem is if they get, it's like,

you know when a tiger attacks a human, like, well, they can't have human, we gotta put them down, they can't have human flesh anymore. When your kid eats a filet, and he only eats filet, you're like, oh, I fucked up have human, we gotta put them down, they can't have human flesh anymore. When your kid eats a filet, and he only eats filet, you're like, oh, I fucked up. That's funny. Yeah, that's funny. My dad took me and Tiger out to dinner,

and he was like, oh, are you gonna cheeseburger? He's like, no, no, I'll get it, they ate out filet. Oh, that's funny. I was like, what? I'm like, you're paying, dude, bud. Wait, so what's up with- He's bougie. What if your dad actually wasn't, he actually had been sitting on a lot of money his whole life, but he like just wanted to make sure you you know

Yeah When you were a kid he was like yeah, you can have a hot dog He had a secret life. He didn't have another family. He just went to eat So you went you That's true about tigers? I didn't know about that. Yeah, we'll only eat filet. And then I'll buy the prime rib or sirloin.

No, no, no, no, that's true about... Tigers? Human flesh, you say. Yes, once they kill a human, then they get the taste of human blood. They have to put them down. That's what they want? Because that's what they want again?

Yeah, they're obsessed with it. So that's... Tigers are really scary. Yeah, in India, look at how many people they kill a year in India, it's wild. I go for. They kill a year in India. It's wild I go for really I'm gonna I did I they grab a kid by the neck the parents go Well, cuz we used to do drop them down. I think you could take them. Yeah Nah, dude, that's I was I did a show in Vegas one time and it was like the the the particular show was sharing

The the theater with a magician. And he had tigers in the back. I swear, like, can we see the tigers? The way this tiger was looking at me. I was like, if this cage opens. 100 people are killed by tigers annually in India. That's not too many. That's still a lot.

That's a lot. What are you talking about? What's a good number for you? I was thinking like a thousand. A thousand, even a hundred is a lot. Oh damn, and I can't even pronounce the name of this city in India, but 55% of deaths are tigers. Well that just makes-

While many attacks are accidental bullshit. How do you accidentally get killed by a tiger? Like the tiger's about to bite into like a antelope and then all of a sudden you trip and fall. That'd be a bad way to go. Eric, I don't know if you wanna discuss this on air so we can cut this but. Oh, yes.

You bought it? No, let's discuss it. You might buy it. No, no, no. You might buy it. Listen to me right now, I have to talk, okay? Well, I know about this. We talked about it.

You and I talked about it. Last week. This motherfucker right here, Nick, right? Uh-huh. He, he hits up Rachel and all our wives, by the way. And he says, I want you to pretend like you bought this behind their back. I said, say you want it.

And I think Rachel took it to stuff. Rachel went full on. So I'm laying in bed with her. The reason why you're not seeing this video, because I was crazy. Shirt off. You know? Using the Adword?

No, no, no. The black, the black, the black. She recorded me. And she goes like this, hey, so I bought a new stroller. And I go, and she did it in a way she always does when she spends too much money. I said, okay, why we need a new stroller? you know and I go and She did it in a way. She always does when she spends too much money I said, okay, why we need a new show how much you spend on this?

She was like, you know, it was like, you know, and I was like what how much you know, she was like it was $5500 I'm gonna be like this. No, you didn't know you didn't you know, she was like well I put it on two separate credit cards, you know, I'm good. Oh, she was real good And I was going crazy she goes I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding Your producer Nick. Oh my god. I guess That's good, then I was mad at myself because I really overreacted Delete that video I saw I I hit her she was like you should record. I was like

I I hit her. She was like, you're recording. I was like, give me this phone. You know? I, uh, Hey, let me look crazy. Kristen knows better than to even do that prank on me. They were all excited about it, but I think Rachel scared them off. Yeah. No, this is the, this is the level. That sounds fantastic. I wish I saw the video.

No, no, this is the level I was thinking about. Like, I am the one that would be the most crazy about this. You would be second crazy. He would just be like, okay, no, man, you would. We almost got divorced. She goes, yeah, I did this last night. Eric almost had a heart attack and made me delete the video I took. He punched me in both eyes. No, it's your birthday, I'm gonna let this go.

We almost got a divorce, I had to explain it was for the podcast. Look at the way she says that. So I may have ruined the joke. But look at what she says at the end, in his defense it was very believable because this is something crazy that I would buy. Yes! This is what I'm saying why I would... You know what I'll say for her? She knows exactly how to push my buttons. Good for her. She hit all the things.

Because when she said, because she was trying to make it seem like, it's like, well, it's okay because I put it on two different credit cards. That's the kind of talk that I get from her. I was like, what do you think that money comes for to pay for those stuff? It's not, you know what I mean?

But to her credit, it was labor. Nick, mine and Chris's wives didn't entertain it, right? Well, I don't even. No, they both said they were going to, and they're like, when do you need this by? And then Rachel did it first. And then Kristen started nine projects at home and didn't finish them, so she couldn't do it.

We're in the middle of the Austin thing and closed on the house. If my girl would have done it, yeah, I'd been heated. I would have been, honestly, I would have been confused because we've had discussions where I'm like, we can't just be buying this shit. And she's like, I know, okay, okay. And then if she did that, I would be like,

I think I would be like, I would be so confused. I'd be like, you bought a Lamborghini stroller? Yeah, see, this is what I'm saying. It's a different thing. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I'd be really mad. Yeah, yeah. Especially right now. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'd be really mad. Yeah. Yeah, especially right now What after what I'm saying was like well, I was like, that's why I wrote that thing. I was like the heat trying to

She's trying to break up marriage damn. She but can we use your podcast? That's what I suggested it Can we use your podcast credit card to purchase for real You know, we make 500 they are still available to order right now and then Nick replies. I have never been given a business She's like damn that shit was crazy for reals though, can I get As an apology Guys the time when we went to, we're looking for mattresses and we go into that

Hassan's whatever, Hassan's store. Oh yeah, yeah, he did, yeah. Yeah, but when the guy said $70,000. That's nuts, bro. But then I had, for the next hour, she's telling me, we should get this. You spent half your life sleeping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they'll justify some I'm sorry am I Kevin Hart yeah yeah yeah dude you in the

college basketball I like March Madness though well yeah cuz one matches March Madness is coming up like the 16 we should do a scene we should do one one of those brackets bro SEC is dominating man my friend My friend hit me up and was like, dude, get in on this bracket. It's March Madness or whatever. And I was like, oh, I don't know. You know what's crazy? Kristen up winning.

It's always the people. You ever see the bitch that wins on ESPN? She's like, oh, I just picked based off their mascots. But Kristen was like, oh yeah, hell yeah, let's do it. So she does it. She loves doing this kind of stuff. Well, when it comes to college basketball, March Mania is here and DraftKings is hooking you guys up.

Bet the unexpected with DraftKings Sportsbook. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, use the code GOLDEN, that's code GOLDEN, to get a no sweat parlay every single day during March Mania. Only on DraftKings, the crown is yours. Yeah, I don't know, I know it's March Madness and all that shit, so that's good.

You're gonna, don't you go to Vegas for it? No, no, I go to know. I know it's March Madness and all that shit. So that's good. You're gonna don't don't you go to Vegas for it? No, no, I go to Vegas for the Super Bowl. I Love going to Vegas. It was so fun. Vegas is kind of dead Like no one's really gonna be in Vegas fuck. They play on the wise guys They'll come to that the locals come to that but I mean like tourists come in like doing the Super Bowl and all that shit It's kind of the biggest day out not anymore. It's outpriced. They've outpriced their clientele. No, it is still their big I'm sure but gambling day. Yeah, it's still down for what it was. I think that I think Vegas lost its luster after The y2k a tooth because yeah, it was like it used to be a thing

It would be so expensive to get a New Year's in Vegas, and it was all this thing. And then it came, half the rooms were still available, the world didn't end or whatever. Not too much of the Mandalay Bay shootings didn't help. Yeah, all that stuff. So now people are kind of like, there's so, dude, when you go to... Go to Circus Circus, you want to blow your brains out.

There are so many rooms at hotels. I'm sure all of those hotels are never full. No, well no, no, no, no, no way because they have to also they have to give them to people when they start winning and shit. Yeah, the whalers they always hook them up. You know the move is because I don't like smoke. I get horrible headaches from smoke. Yeah, me too. I can't stand that. Dude, you stay at the, I know, hear me out here. you stay at the Trump Hotel Because it's right next to the strip and because Trump has issues with that that owner There's no casino. So there's no smoke in the Trump Hotel. Why? Yes, and gives Park the parking's easy. It's usually on sale. Okay, what is the oh because there's no

Yeah, you know the little cheat code for you in Vegas The other the new MGM one just the smaller one that's right Oh the towers the two towers, you know those got knocked down The one that's right across the street from T-mobile that is it's one of the newest and it also has no smoking and it is a Union still that's the move what you want no smoking and then because parking is easier because that you Have I like this mother smoked overall. Yeah, but you have all the riffraff I hate me that I hate me that I hate me but the funny so I hate to eat at a crap table and

Guy just decides I'm gonna just like you know what I do. I swear to God I fart well, that's fine Oh, I mean like that's the game. That's the game. Yes. I'm a fart. There's some of that. Oh, and I'm like, I mean like, I don't give a fuck. That's the game. That's the game. Then somebody's like, oh, and I'm like, oh, you don't like that smell? Mm-hmm. Oh. I love the smoking smell.

I love it. Why? I don't know, bro. My grandpa when I was a kid. Me too. My grandma and grandpa smoked. I like the initial, when it starts up, I love that. But then once it starts going, I just get ahead of you.

No, I love it. Like it makes me feel like, oh, also it's like the last place you can fucking do it is Vegas. You know what I mean? I like that. I don't know. I'm a bad boy. But I don't like the hotel room smelling.

I love smelling smoke. I don't like the hotel room smelling like smoke, though. No, no, you wouldn't want that. Or you could get a rental car that smells like smoke. God damn. That is the worst. I'm a bad boy, bro.

I would love that shit, man. Give me that fucking car smelling like absolute ashtray. Oh, this is I hope he's okay Tracy Morgan throw it up. Was he just sick or drank to my yeah, he sent an update Because he also has to get a nosebleed too. I just hope he's okay Yeah, I think that one that thought he has a nosebleed. I think he had throw up coming out of his nose beautiful Crush it beautiful. Oh hell yeah. Oh, yeah, that's normal When you throw up you have all that shit on you Crush it. It's beautiful. Oh hell yeah. Oh yeah, that's normal. When you throw up, you have all that shit on you.

Why are they running the EKG? Cause he's old. He's old. And he was in like a really bad wreck. Horrible, remember? His body's a bad wreck. Oh wow. UPS or, oh my god.

Oh there you go, now it's just, people have no shame. That's Antonio Brown. Great Twitter follow. He's the best. Not his tweets. Wouldn't he dress on your thing? Yeah. And he's on Rogan.

Yeah. And Theo. And Theo, yeah. He came to us first though. Not a big deal. I guess he, I mean, he's not gonna play ever again, right? So it's like at this point he's a... He does music.

Yeah. We should get him on God damn Comedy Jam. Hilarious. But I'm curious though, I wonder what's the next phase for him. He's going to host like an actual award show. Oh really? Yeah, the CTE SPA awards. CTE?

Yeah, the CTE SPA awards. No. What is the award? What's the award? I feel like I'm talking to dads right now. Bro, dads definitely know about this. Oh yeah, no one follows him. He does the CT awards every day. He does wipe. Oh I know that. Yes. Ninja of the day. I was ninja of the day. But so he's gonna do an actual award show though? Yeah. Nick, fill them in. Fill them in. Make them

hip to Antonio Brown. Yeah, he does the Cracker of the year. I know that I know I got cracker I got cracker the other day not ninja the day. So hold on So hold on though he why doesn't he play anymore because he's old oh, okay, and he also likes I know He had like a vicious vicious hit Vontes Burfik like helmet to helmet where he was out and I really feel like his personality changed And then about a couple years after that he like in the middle of the game Took off his shoulder pads was running on the shirt shirtless or the field shirtless and left the field I've always been a wild boy difficult to deal with on the teams, but he's so talented.

In his defense though, there was like, I think there was like some contract disputes. I think at that point he knew he wasn't gonna be back with Tampa Bay, and he was like, I'm going out like this, bye. He goes, I wanna go out on my terms. Yeah.

Which is wild. It's like the end of point break. It's like the end of point, but then you do the point break But you do like this though or true blood and no one's ever gonna hire you again, though I mean he didn't want to get right. I know but that's the thing though That's what you're gonna do. You know what I mean that happened to what's it called? Who is the king Henry the eighth? That's how Brendan's gonna leave Golden Hour I

Can't sure it all Henry the running around fuck y'all Henry the eighth got hitting ahead they say and that's why he went That's why he went kind of crazy and was killing everybody like also It could be the syphilis and right people say they happen to Roseanne as a child, too She got in a car accident and she was crazy Yeah, yeah, I'm sick of bitches blaming CT on everything. Everything, oh really? Is that why Roseanne's bat shit crazy? Is that why she's a comic? But when, as a kid she got hit in the head?

Yeah. They didn't like this wild shit. They're like, he was a cardio kickboxer. I'm like, get the fuck out of here. You're Hernandez, it's CT. No, he's just a bad guy. He's killing bitches way before he had all this brain trauma. Did he, and he was gay.

I know, but did he, so that's what it was that oh J Simpson. We all look at CT. I'm sure it's there He's a bad guy right Charles Manson did fall off his bike one time yeah, no yeah shut the fuck up Well, you know there's Jeffrey Dahmer play tackle football But they do this with a lot of things like just correlations that they make that is like they don't look at anything else You know I mean it's just like with like you know I think that the They do this with a lot of things, like just correlations that they make. They don't look at anything else. I mean, it's just like with like,

I think that what has been put in our food for the last 30 years probably has more to do with some of the stuff that's going on with kids and adults, but then- And vaccines, am I right? But I'm just saying, somebody can say it's vaccines. They can say you can believe that or it could be the plastic in our... It's a bunch of stuff. Yeah it's a

bunch of stuff. Autism is up 70% since they increased vaccines. It's not a big deal. But also a lot of other things have changed too. I'm just saying it could be about a lot of things. I'm not saying it's not vaccines. McDonald's french fries used to only have three ingredients. They're so much better now though. Ah bro, I've been elevating my style. Did you know that? I have. It used to be break it to bank, but now it doesn't. With Quince, I get high end versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford.

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really good stuff. I got a luggage piece that is the best. Is it good? Yeah it's great I use it whenever I travel. Well be like Eric go to quints.com slash golden for free shipping with your order and 365 day returns that's Q you I n C E dot-com slash golden to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince dot-com slash gold I saw this what do you guys think about this yeah what would you do what is it what do you think what happens I haven't seen it I have a really fun let me see it and I'll give you a hot fucking tasty no I have a really specific take great winner oh my god is. This is- You're a winner. Oh my God, when I'm talking you're not talking.

Oh, sorry. No, when I'm talking you're not talking. This is why, yes, we'll have to just cut him out of the show. There it is. This is- You're a winner. Oh my God, when I'm talking you're not talking. Is this his wife?

No, when I'm talking you're not talking. Is that me and Brian Kelly? That's great. That look is funny. Dude, I would be so mad. I'm like, uh, okay. Oh You're you think you're on the red carpet cuz someone wants to hear you talk or I've been fucking entertainment for 50 years Bitch, and my famous is super and my family's super famous and they shot someone you really want to do this. Yeah

Forget about all that and it's on tape forget about all that look right here is like, this is why I divorced the last bitch. That's what that, he, you know what I'm saying? But you know what? I'll give you my tape and then I'm gonna hear your specific tape. My thing in this moment right now is like, it's a lose-lose for him. Oh, okay, to me too.

Because right now he's, that's why that look on his face is like, oh, we gonna talk about this later, right? Oh, oh. And it's too late. But it's too late now. I know, but it's like, it's already, no, because you can't be like this too. You can't grab our elbow and be like,

ha ha, thank you, and then, because that's my energy would be like, oh, we gotta go talk. Because if she would've done, she's acting like that now, he easily could've been right there like this. Oh no. No, no, hey.

Then it's like, ugh, it's awkward, so he's in this lose-lose. Oh, see, I don't give a fuck and I'll make it awkward. Like even when we have, if we enjoy it, it's rare for arguing, she's like, let's not do this in front of him, like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, you've already embarrassed me. Now, I don't, now, oh, I don't give a fuck now. You fucked up.

Now I'm gonna- Ready goes into like, oh, we talking now! We talking about mamas! Yeah. No, I go nuclear. I'm like, oh no, it's already awkward. I'm just gonna make it more awkward. Okay, Chris.

That's what you're dealing with. Hit us with it! Go back to it though. I have a take and I'm sure it's right. Okay. Better than both of ours? Well, it's not that it's better. I just, I think I know something that happened. We're sure about hot lasagna.

I know that, but she's at least trying to be funny, okay? Oh no, horrible take. She's trying to be funny. It didn't work. Like Kramer? He's trying to add to it with his face. This is not serious, bro. And it's just, it didn't play out right.

They didn't know their audience and it didn't play out right. Oh, bad take. And it's not a bad take, it's what happened. You're serving cold lasagna right now. But let me tell you something though, dude. I've got a really, really good, really good fucking direct line into what's fucking funny, dude

And I know what she's trying to do. I think you're just not doing it You're so you're saying the conversation they're having later is he's like hey when we're doing this yes You gotta like yeah, you have me looking like an asshole That's her attitude behind closed closed doors, she talks to them way worse. That's what's going on. Have you met her? You know her background? I haven't either. Have you met her background? No, I haven't. But her whole background lying about she's fucking Spanish and all that shit? No. Alec Baldwin is always going, he's funny, dude. He was ready to do that.

It just, the audience misunderstood it. I didn't because I've got a direct line into what's funny. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a direct line no they just did this wrong yeah yeah I blamed the audience no they did it wrong she the problem is people don't know who she is so she can't do a joke like that to Alec Baldwin it doesn't matter if it's his wife Yeah, it's just not gonna play out right you or you have to be very very very funny to do it And she's I think you're so off on this. I'm not though because I've a direct I'm not Baldwin I would have went fuck it that guy with the turtleneck in the back. He's your man now If this happened to me also, we're at planet Guy That guy you're with him. You just go pick guy. You're going to be like, you know what?

That guy? You're with him now. You're in. You're in. You're in. But they're also... You go pick the guy. Come here.

This your new wife. She's hot, right? Enjoy. Here's what Alec Baldwin should have done. It's also Planet Hollywood. This is a disaster. Here's what Alec Baldwin should have done. He should have...

Let me finish. Don't interrupt me when I'm not talking. You go like, oh, but you're being so boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he fixed it. I don't think either of them have a direct line into what's funny enough to... Whoa, you're like, oh, but you're being so boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you, he fixed it. I don't think either of them have a direct line into what's funny enough to, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What? I think you're off. But then what happened, no, I think that he's, I'll tell you why he's still in the lose-lose, Chris. Even if you're right, he couldn't do that because then later she's gonna be like, you embarrassed me. Fine, but she made the bet. Listen, she's probably, I understand that,

but she's probably never funny. I understand. And then this is the kind of like, And you think she's gonna start on the red carpet? But bro don't enter the octagon. He's always funny. But don't enter the octagon. Oh sweetie, sweetie you're gonna enter the octagon? The octagon of funny. This is what's funny if you put me in octagon I gotta go. I gotta go and I have a direct line into what's funny you You don't. So if you're gonna do the, I'm talking I'm gonna scream out how boring you are and knock you out.

You know what you just did? Cut to Nick texting all our wives right now. Hey, I need you to interrupt him when he's, and make sure you record him. No, I don't, yeah, I don't. I think you show off on this. I'm not though. I don't, because they have a reality show, she's never funny. So you think on the red

carpet at Planet Hollywood, which I thought went bankrupt, do you really think she's like, I'm gonna be the funny wife now and just totally miss the mark? Yeah. Terrible take. It's not a terrible take. You're way off. Nope. You're not to go. I'm right in and I'm glad you're leaving. With that being said, there's more gifts from Chin

under the table for Brendan. I just thought the housekeeping. Chin's like Oprah? Is that meatballs? I've been so good at gift giving this year. Wow. Right? It's true.

Well, the meatballs, you're safe for later, but there's like eight of them there, but there's also a box. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my. God damn it. My favorite.

But there's a big old cardboard box too. I would have totally ate one of those. Dude, Brennick and Sherr. That would have been great though. It damn it. My favorite. But there's a big old cardboard box. I would have totally ate one of those. Dude, Brennick can share. That would have been great though. It would just have one missing. Dude, Brennick can share. I would never share that. If you want some.

I would, hey, hey, hey. I would never share that. Hey, it's my birthday. That's why we should have taken it. Close your mouth. I've been fasting all night and morning. And there's a knife behind you. What?

A knife behind you to open it. Careful. Oh, Jen, you really thought about this. Is this your knife? Of course I did. Yeah. Oh, I'm so Asian of him to have like a There's a Chinese star behind a knife that could kill people. He should be cutting up over here and throwing it Yeah, he's like good. There's a ninja star There's a samurai blade behind you

Just like I got it Fuck yeah, bro Direct line. Yeah that's direct line I'm talking about. Name of the episode. Oh wow. That's cool. And you found the slant back.

And it's a slant back. That's what my. That's racist. That's racist. This is cool. This is cool. That's so badass. That's my exact one. You can have someone airbrush like the stuff that you have on your own. Dude, look at you. The exhaust is off,

but the rest of it's spot on. No, there's no way to get the exact one. Hey, bring it to your guy. Have him fix it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey guys, I got a mini one. Let me see. Little guys come out. I'll close it. Leave the knife alone. I'll close it later. It's been so long, Brendan. It hurts. Now we have to do it just like Brendan. That was the TRX, you can't flip this. Really, that's unflippable? It'd be tough to flip this. You'd find a way.

Yeah, you could do it. I had enough power, that's fucking dope, Chin, thank you. That's so cool, dude. And it's a Humvee, not a Hummer. You fucking did good, Chin, thanks, brother. Every time I hear the word Humvee, I think of, by the way, what's the difference, Humvee and Hummer? Like Hummer H1's like civilian.

So like I have no windows, there's no AC, it's from the military. And the H1's more for civilians. Okay, so every time I think of the word Humvee, I think of when they go, when in the rock, when the guy, you know what this for real yeah oh my gosh somebody took my homie that part that's crazy that's so funny that you know that too somebody took my homie bring it up okay is it

time somebody took my homie and then you episode, Patreon, go check it out. So I'm gonna be in Portland, I'm gonna be in Las Vegas, I'm gonna be in Cranston, Rhode Island, I'm gonna be in Portland, Maine, I'm gonna be in Casper, Cheyenne, Denver, Colorado, go to chrisley.com, get tickets. chrisley.com, get tickets! Alright kids, love ya, we're out. Pluto TV has all your favorite crime dramas streaming for free. You're gonna need some backup. Which means suspense is free. Very cool. Watch CSI New York, Criminal Minds, Blue Bloods, Tracker, FBI and SWAT all for free. You can't outrun this.

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