The Golden Hour - Don't Have Fish | The Golden Hour #67 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

The boy talk changing their numbers when random people find them, expensive aquarium fish, Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift's love story, the Kardashians bored at the Super Bowl, pro sports scripting conspiracies, thoughts on the new Mr. & Mrs. Smith movie, the Love & Translation show, Oklahoma's new controversial "Furries" bill, Sean Strickland sparring Sneako, Jon Jones heckling a comedian and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code GOLDEN. Good Chop - Go to https://goodchop.com/goldenhour120 and use code goldenhour120 to get $120 off across your first 4 boxes! Nugenix - Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T plus a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text GOLDEN to 231-231.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour

It's the Golden Hour Somebody has your number And you've decided to change your number Because you feel like too many people have your number But then you see a person that had your number And you may have them on a list in your head of like i don't hate them but i don't necessarily want them to have my number and now they see you and they're like oh hey man did you change your number give it to him i don't

now you have to give him your number no you don't i'd be like why i didn't change my number who cares and i just walk away that doesn? Keep hitting up that new number. Who cares if someone has your number? It's not even a bother if they text you. But if you changed your number. Because you don't have to reply. Why change it? Well, that's what I'm saying.

You just don't change your number. Who cares? Okay, but I'm saying there's people that do change. Let's say if you did change your number. Don't do that. I don't like your energy right now. Yeah. No, my energy is super nice.

If this was like an improv, you're denying right now an improv. I'm locked in. But it's not improv. It's a real conversation that you just should keep your number. Who cares? Okay, so you don't. You can block people that are annoying, and you cannot respond to people who you don't want to. He does have a point.

Dude, we figured it out. Changing your number is weird, bro. It's a hassle. Famous people do it all the time. It's not worth it. Who cares? I get texts. I don't even know who they are.

I just don't respond. Also, you can message anyone at any time. You don't even need their number. You can go message them on Instagram, Twitter. Everyone has everyone's info. Yeah, because Instagram DMs basically attacks. Bro, I'm with you on this 1,000%. You know what I can't stand?

It's like maybe someone's like, oh, they're not going to give you your number. Yeah. First of all, what I can't stand is like you send someone a message. Let's say you send someone a message on social media, and then they go, and they don't respond or whatever it is, and you're like, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, that's social media. No, bitch. That's not social media.

That area that we're sending messages is called direct message. Right, right, right, right. That is separate from the social media area. Right, right, right, right. Does this happen to you a lot, Eric? No, but it's just – Because I'm pretty upset. Yeah.

It's from before I'm saying. I don't respond to people, period, sometimes. I know, but the thing is – I mean, no, I respond to people if they're friends and stuff. But if somebody texts me and I'm like, who's this person? I don't respond. It's just an app. Or I say, who's this?

And then they write back and I go... And I don't respond. Because who are you? The message is an app just like... Yeah, it's everything. They're all apps now. So stop acting like... The people had this thing in their brain that was like, well, my phone number means it's serious.

And I have to like, you know, I agree. I don't fucking same shit. Yeah. Leak your phone to tell everyone your phone number. Then you just said the same shit. I give it to the Patreon people. And that one guy was like, oh, that's crazy. But what are you going to do?

Yeah, exactly. You block somebody who cares. Can they do anything? What can they do with your number? It was on Google. I Google my number and it had my address and all the places I've lived, but I was able to remove it from that site. That's good.

So that was like one bad thing. Instagram changed it now, so you can only attempt to DM someone who's not following you one time. Oh, really? You get one message. Oh, so you can't harass them. Yeah. Oh, nice.

Oh, nice. I didn't know that. When did they do that? A couple months ago. Oh, wow. That's good. Props to me that. When did they do that? A couple months ago. Oh, wow. Props to me for not even knowing. Yeah. Shout out to you.

I'm an adult. I am an adult. Yeah, things have moved pretty fast. Did you guys lose power last night in your house? Is that just a Woodland Hills thing? No? We lost complete power for six hours? Six hours. Six hours?

Six hours. And we were just chilling, had the candles on like Game of Thrones style. Kids were digging it. And then it hit me. I'm like, oh, shit, my fish. No air bubbles. No heat. They're going to die if we don't get something going.

They don't have fish. Dude, call the guy. He goes, you need a battery-operated air filter. He's like, yeah, about two hours. I speed down there, make that happen. It's all dark. I turn my flashlight on just to see what's where the fish what's popping daddy because it's so dark no dude no they're they're they're thriving it's their arowanas they're dinosaurs they're about

this big don't have fish but dude on top i have a glass top and a weight on top of it because they're known to jump for food i turn my my line, scares them. This fucking flies out of the tank, lands on the floor, flopping around. Flopping around. I panicked. On a fish. Panicked. Tried getting them too slippery. Had to get a net.

My wife's like, what the fuck is going on? Woke up the baby, the kids. Mayhem. Call a net. Mayhem. Saved the fish, though. He has CT, though. No one should have

A cat sized fish How big is it? I have a catfish Are you talking about a catfish? How big is it? I'm saying This is a For real

How big is your marijuana? You're kidding me No I have two of them How big is the tank? I bought him when he was a baby Like this He's like this

How big is the tank? Bring up marijuana How big is the tank? He was like this He was like this You want to answer me? How big is the tank? 400 gallons How big is that? Yeah we don't know bro How big is the tank? Bring up marijuana. How big is the tank? He was like this. He's like this. You want to answer me? How big is the tank? 400 gallons.

How big is that? Yeah, we don't know, bro. How big is your house? How big is it? How big is your house? His house is 300 gallons. No, it's as long as this table. A little longer than this table.

Okay, so imagine. That's marijuana right there. See, that's me right there when I was younger. That is so... That's stupid. That poor fish. Don't have that. That's it?

No, he's thriving, dude. How is he thriving? He's got a job. He's talking about... Yeah, yeah. He's That's it? No, he's thriving, dude. How is he thriving? He's got a job. He's talking about... Yeah, yeah. He's got a family. No, he has a 401k. He's crushing it.

No, that's the little space this poor fish has to live in? Poor fish? Oh, I'm sorry. Let's put him out in the wilderness where he's going to get killed by a fucking mountain line or whatever's out there eating these things every day. It's called nature. Yeah, or he can be coddled in a warm tank. He'd rather swim free than die in a fucking tank.

Oh, yeah? Some weirdo's house in Wooden Hill. Oh, yeah? When did he tell you that? Look at that. That fish right there that that guy was pointing to was $24,000. Can you ride it? Yeah, sure.

Can you ride it? You can ride that thing. You can get a Civic for that. You can ride that thing. Less than that. I didn't pay $24, sure. Can you ride it? You can ride that thing. You can get a Civic for that. You can ride that thing. Less than that. I didn't pay 24 grand. You can buy the Civic and get rims. Nice stereo system.

That's what I'm saying, yeah. It's all fixed up. Are you kidding me? Damn, you don't like fish, man? Nope, nope. Fish? What are you talking about? I ate some last night.

Don't like fish. You know what would be better than a fish? Have a screen like this in your house with a fish on it or a painting yeah a painting and guess what don't even have that i'm gonna come in i'm gonna you have dogs though you have pets you have no pets you have no fish no i want a dog but rachel's not yeah but dude the dog isn't it's not like if the power goes out the dog's gonna die to die. Yeah, yeah. The fish is too much upkeep. You don't have to run down to PetSmart. Yeah, but the dog, you got to buy food.

You got to take him for walks. You got to do all... It's a lot more maintenance than a fish. You don't have to take it. What if you're a bad owner? You're a bad owner. A little lap dog. You got a little lap dog.

He likes to exercise. Chris probably has a panty. He does go for walks. He probably has a panty. I don't have to walk my fish. I just feed him. I love to see that. I feed him.

I just sip my coffee. I don't know. I feed them. I just sip my coffee. I don't know. Whatever. We're talking about fish too much. Brandon stands next to the fish tank, puts a little thing, little harness around it, and he just stands right there. He puts it on a treadmill. Back and forth.

Yeah. It feels ridiculous. We had a little fish tank for Calvin. Kristen will get an idea, and then it's off to the races. So just be like, oh, we got to get a fish. It should just be like this. We got to get a fish for Calvin. And then we go, and we don't just get one fish.

We get six. No, I understand. And then by the end of the week, there's 40 because they're having babies. Yeah, there's an orca show in your backyard now. Is there a guy from River Monsters in our tank? And then Calvin's into it for two days. Well, he was too young. No, the thing was, he was too young to even enjoy it.

I'm like, Chris, what are you doing? The whole place was stunted like shit, you know? Yeah, if they stink. We fried them up. We ate them. And it didn't even touch my appetite. Too small? Yeah.

Why are you a monster? I didn't eat the fucking fish, dude. You know? I just threw them out. Here's something I want to talk about. Damn. Kidding, kidding, kidding, kidding. I'm not kidding.

I believe in love, and I think that Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift, I think it's going to work out for them. I just talked about this on my podcast. Me too. That's so funny. Oh, weird. I didn't. Yeah?

Well, let's talk about it. I think it's going to work. You know why? I don't care, but I have a thought. I don't think it's going to work, because she's not his type. No, no. I think it's going to work. You know why? I don't care, but I have a thought. I don't think it's going to work because she's not his type. No, no, no. She's not his type. No, no.

You guys are stupid. It's going to work. Her ass is too flat. I'm going to tell you why it's going to work. That's science. I'm going to tell you why it's going to work because she's 34. Yeah, it might work. No, she wants it to work.

He's a wild boy. Have you seen his girlfriend before? I know, but- He went from a Ferrari to a very base model Miata. But that Miata is loaded. There's a billion dollars in the trunk of a Miata. That Ferrari does things that the Miata does.

I think that... Don't say she's mid. Who else could date her? You understand what I'm saying? No, but someone like that. I get now why the Kardashians go after NBA players. Yeah. It's because a professional athlete is focused, disciplined, and they're attractive.

And? A-type personalities. And? And what? You about to say black? Big dick. Oh, well, probably. I don't know.

No. And what I'm saying is like she's probably a fan of football. You know, she's probably a fan. So she probably is not Taylor Swift with him. Right. Right. And she's 34. Right.

And she wants to have a family, have kids. Do you understand that she's two years away from like the hospital calling her geriatric for pregnancy? So she's probably like, you know what? I did the Taylor Swift thing when I was 24. Now I'm freaking like, oh, damn. I need to have a family. Who can I date?

And she's had a ton of boyfriends. All the music industry. She probably emasculates every man she's with. Not me. Except for him. You couldn't handle Taylor Swift. Yeah, I couldn't do it. No, you couldn't.

She's too famous for you. She's too famous for you. Your ego. No, no, no. Oh, bro. Exactly. What? She'd be doing this that you used to do.

She'd be like this. Chris! She'd break up. They you used to do. She'd be like this. Chris! She'd break up. They're like, why'd you break up? He was constantly asking me to promote his dates. You'd be like. No, I wouldn't do that. You know, we couldn't handle this.

God. This is the one thing Chris couldn't handle. What? Is like when somebody walks up to them and goes like this. Oh, my God. Hands him the camera. Hey, can you take a picture? No, I would like that.

That's sweet. That's cute. I would like that. No, you wouldn't. I would, but then I would probably do it on selfie mode. Like I'd be like this here, smile. Hey, dude. And I'm taking a picture.

Yeah, I know. I was just about to say that, of course. No, I don't. Well, she's dated all like kind of beta males, and then she got with a real stallion. What do you mean? A real stallion. All these guys, Jake Gyllenhaal.

Hey, hey, hey, beta. No, you can't be Jake Gyllenhaal and date her because he's not famous anymore. There's a power imbalance in that relationship. Every dumb movie he comes out with that nobody watches. Well, hold on. He's good. He's in Roadhouse. Oh, my God.

I don't know. I just feel like. Do you think he can't follow in Patrick Swayze's shoes? He has to. Hold on. She has to. She can't. Yeah, she can't date.

Her dating a sports star makes sense because they're a different kind of famous. Yes. Yes. Yeah, they're two different lanes. They're not competing. But also, he's also the best to ever do it at his position. He already had two Super Bowls. He's got a lot of money.

Accomplished. He doesn't need to do anything else. And now she can just be a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. I think it's going to work out. I believe in love.

I think it's going to work. Yeah, you're sweet. I don't think it's going to work out. But I think she's going to try and make it work out. Yeah, she wants to. But I bet you he breaks her heart. Yeah, that's what I think. He's a wild boy. I think he's going to break her make it work out. But I bet you he breaks her heart. Yeah, that's what I think. He's a wild boy.

I think he's going to break her heart. He's a wild boy. And she's going to fucking sell so many albums after that. She's going to write a whole album about the heartbreak. She's going to be able to fly. She's going to grow wings. It's just going to be like, oh, my God. It's going to be all football references.

Yep. I got intercepted. No, no, no. Oh, wow. Interception. It's going to be called Interception. Sack of my no. Oh, wow. Interception. It's going to be called Interception. The sack of my heart. The Interception album.

No, I actually, you know what? I think it's going to work. This Donald Trump message is so, this dude is hilarious. What is this? He is so funny. This was his truth he put out on the day of the Super Bowl. I signed and was responsible for the music modernization act for taylor swift and all other musical artists joe biden didn't do anything for

taylor and never will there's no way she could endorse crooked joe biden the worst and most corrupt president in the history of our country and be disloyal to the man who made her so much money besides that i like her boyfriend travis even though he may be a liberal and probably can't stand me oh my god my God, dude. Fire. Yeah, dude. Bars. That's Eminem from 8 Mile. I do live in a trailer park.

Yeah, but also, Travis Kelsey definitely votes for Donald Trump. Well, it depends how much money Pfizer paid him. No, no, no. Who cares? Anybody? Listen, I love people that talk about this. Everyone is about money man right they his agent probably said hey uh pfizer wants to pay you yeah it's 20 20 million dollars it was

that's what they said yeah exactly yeah i would show my butthole with a pfizer shot inside the anus you would be taking the shot on camera like i would too i don't give a fuck fuck. Yeah. And I would go off and I would say that I did that. It's still. On my podcast. People get so like. I made a bag. Whatever, dude. Fuck you.

I made a bag, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That's what he's doing. Yeah. And when they asked, like, why would you do the fire stand? Like 20 million reasons why. Yeah.

Next question. Next question. I don't ever have to work again. Why did you do the fire stand? What car you want? What car you want? Yeah. Next question. Next question. I don't ever have to work again. Why did you do the Pfizer thing? What car you want? What car you want? Yeah. I got it.

Generational wealth, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he did it. Who cares? Did you hear that they paid Ben Affleck $1 million to discuss him doing the commercial? The Pfizer commercial? Dunkin' Donuts? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, Dunkin' Donuts? They said, hey, we want you to do this commercial. He was like, well, and they paid him a million dollars to pitch him. And it was the best commercial. It was. It was so good. He's a great actor. That commercial, did you see it, though? On Super Bowl? No, I didn't see the new one.

And Matt Damon's like, bro, what are we doing? You know who's funny all day on all these commercials is Tom Brady. The best. Tom Brady is like the coolest dude ever. You know what I'm saying? He's just like enjoying his life Brady. The best. Like Tom Brady is like, he's the coolest dude ever. You know what I'm saying? He's just like enjoying his life now. The betting one, they're like, you've won too much.

You can't bet. Oh, that was so funny. So good. So good. When he was doing the pool. I didn't see any of it. And now next year he's going to be on like Fox or something, being the thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The announcer guy, you mean? Yeah, already paid him. Wow. Yeah, $300. Wow. If you're him though, he's kind of set. So it's just million. They already paid him. Wow. Yeah, $300 million. Wow. If you're him, though, he's kind of set. So it's just work.

I guess it keeps him busy and in the limelight. Yeah, I don't. Well, this always goes back to, I don't, you know. He's not doing it for money at this point. I know. That's what he's saying. That's what I'm saying. I always go to that.

I'm like, why would you? Because that's not an easy gig. I know. No, I know. They're not just like, put your shoe on, make up. All right, let's go. Dude, you're talking prep. Tons of work.

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The NFL is the number one television show on five networks. Say it again for the back. On five networks. Of the top 100 shows of the past year

or something like that, 75 of the shows are NFL games. That's so weird. America. to me. Wow. Because it's a meritocracy, man. Because all the bullshit that's going on on television.

Look at it. Doesn't she look happy? It doesn't look fake. Holy shit. Super Bowl 2024 is the most watched US TV broadcast since the 1969 moon landing. Now, are we just going to give taylor swift all the credit yeah it's true no it's definitely because i was at home doing like this it's definitely because of her i have my thing right there there's no question it's because of her yeah it's a

combination bro it's super most happen all the time of course it's because of her and travis and then the teams people like but if it wasn't for her that wouldn't be true 100 it would have been a big boy. Maybe not that big, but she definitely helps with the Super Bowl. That's why they had a Taylor cam. Bro, you know how many. The director was like, cut to Taylor, come back. Yeah.

You know how many young girls are watching because of this? Yeah. They think Travis Kelsey was nothing before her. That's what they think. The sign that said, I'm here for... Nick, pull up Kim Kardashian's box at the Super Bowl. Oh, no problem. Oh, yeah.

I thought we were going to go down. This isn't Patreon, dog. No, no, no, no. Box. At the Super Bowl. Oh, hey. You dirty bitch. You look how bored.

You have to look how bored these dumb fucks look. And they're just like Like why are you there? Yeah. Like. One of the pictures I've. This is why I don't. This is why I don't go though. This is why I don't like this shit.

It's like. Why are you there? Because it's a. Because it's a cool thing to do. Oh yeah. We know. But that sucks. That's all they're doing.

But look at them. None of them care. Look at the one on the upper left. So bored. Look at the one. And they're all on their cell phone. And this is probably like a million dollars. They probably gave it to them.

They probably gave it to them. The NFL don't care about this. Yeah, why would they? You have to pay. Well, no, I bet you that box is presented by whatever, eyelashes. Oh, you think someone else paid for it? 100%. Somebody paid for it.

Yeah, yeah. Someone paid for it. But I can't see the Kardashians didn't pay. That's crazy. No, they paid. That's crazy. They paid. Yeah, I don yeah. Someone paid for it. Someone paid for it. I can't see the Kardashians didn't pay. That's crazy. No, they paid. That's crazy. They paid. Yeah, I don't, but this is what-

You know what's crazy? They didn't cut to that one time. Oh, really? Not one. They went to Taylor like 100 times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's into the game. She's rocking the gear.

Yeah, they're not going to show that. These bitches are in black like somebody died. Dude, I should- Go ahead. Question. Do you think Taylor did more for the NFL or the NFL did more for Taylor? Taylor did more for the NFL or the NFL did more for Taylor? Taylor did more for the NFL.

The NFL's set. I don't think so. I think it's a match made in heaven for both sides. I mean, it's definitely a match. I think there's a rub on both ends, but I think Taylor's fan base, who definitely was in the NFL, it was already the most watched show ever anyway. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Super Bowl's already, like, okay

so it's not the most ever, but it's still the best TV show in 20 years. You gotta play this commercial for Chris. It's too good. I haven't seen it. Ben's so fucking funny. I hope I like it. I love Ben Affleck. He'll like it. He's not gonna like it. I bet he does. I am open-minded here.

I don't think you should do this. Last year, she came to my work. Now I got to show her what I can do. He's here. Ah, Fleck on the track. What up, folks? What do you consider a team? Here comes the Boston Massacre.

The Dumb Kings. Touchdown, Tommy, on them keys. Play a call. Got it. I hope you need no introduction, my partner. Sometimes it's really hard to be your friend How do you like them donuts? I'm so sorry Are we gonna be on the album?

We talked about this Let's go You're blinded by them pinstripes Wrap it up There goes Babe Ruth Tom, you can stay You remember when I told you I'd do anything for you? This is anything

Chill They're naming a drink after us You know what? The only part about this commercial I don't like is They shouldn't have had that Tom, you can stay part. Agree. Take that out.

Too much. Messed it up. They were like, oh, you want to fuck Tom? Yeah. It took away from the thing. It took away from it. It took away from it.

You want me to tell you what I think of the commercial? Oh, you hated it, you piece of shit. No. It's funny because of who's in it. It's not actually funny.

Oh, no. But that's how anything is. Hey. Okay. That's not actually funny. Oh, no. But that's how anything is. Okay. That's how anything is. Of course. It's Tom Brady, Ben Affleck. Yeah. I was in a show called Blunt Talk.

Yeah, no. So that's a Blunt Talk for you. There you go. Did you ever see Blunt Talk? My dad directed it. Oh, I missed that one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're dead.

So, but the whole thing that made that show funny is it was Patrick Stewart doing Coke and being with and I would but that's not enough for me though that's why it got cancelled right there you go what I'm saying is

but initially yeah yeah for a minute that was really funny for a minute that's a great commercial Matt Damon Matt Damon

I'm so sorry but he his parts were funny and he's the best of it yeah he's by far the best Matt Damon

is fucking funny he's a good actor though They're all good actors That's why Well they're Yeah They've all been good I mean Ben Affleck's been good

But he's also been The only time you see Fish out of water Like we've known Tom Brady Now for 20 years To be this like You know America's quarterback

Yeah that's funny For Tom Brady He's always up there like You know we just did our best Blah blah blah That whole Patriot And now when you see him Do this kind of stuff

You're just kind of like Oh man This dude's actually cool He's a regular dude he's a sneaker head they had special that's why he's gonna make dope ass special dunks they did brady yeah i knew you'd like that that's okay one day we can't get those man we can't get those i won my bet on the anthem that i made on the episode oh tight move now no on the black anthem did you vote on the black anthem I made on the episode. Oh, tight move. Now, on the black anthem, did you vote on the black anthem or the original one? Not worth it. Reba was jamming.

You know how I was shocked by Post Malone? Post Malone doing a folk song with grills in. He's stupid talented. I was like, this dude is like, I want to see that album. I didn't see it. He had a little guitar. He was singing America or something like, you know. America.

You guys aren't truck guys, but he has some filthy trucks. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You guys don't care. No, all of that, honestly, is so boring. Post Malone's cool. I like him a lot. But talking about Post Malone's truck guy.

We have similar trucks. Yeah, but we don't, right? Eric and I, we don't. But I'm trying to get you guys out of your pussy face. I do. I would like to have a truck. I don't want a truck. I would.

I would like to have a truck. But if you had a truck, you wouldn't be on it. At least I'd keep mine upright. Yeah, you would have a sandbag. Hey! Too soon, bro. Wait, with no seatbelt on. No, I had my seatbelt on.

Yeah, he had it on. He wouldn't be here. I took it off. This podcast would be me and you if it would have a seatbelt on. I had it on. As I'm through the air, I went, not had my secret. He had it on. He wouldn't be here. I took it off. This podcast would be in you if it would have a secret. I had it on. As I'm through the air, I went, not today. Click. Cuckoo's concussion.

Video's coming soon. This was interesting. What's this? Alyssa Milano was at the Super Bowl with her son. Okay. And a week before, she had posted a GoFundMe for her team's baseball team. Okay. Oh. So her tickets were like $10,000 or at least $10,000.

So OutKick coverage guy, what's his name? Clay Travis. That's weird. Blew her up, was like, are you kidding me? You're asking people for money? People hate her. She's too liberal. Yeah, she really fucked up.

I've worked with her. She was cool. Yeah, no, super cool. I've worked with her. She was cool. Yeah, no, super cool. Super cool. Super cool. I don't know if she's too liberal as so much as she's too hypocritical. Right, right, right. It's hard to be like, it's like, be liberal.

Hey, hey, hey. One and the same, right? Too liberal is hypocritical. Yeah. Too liberal. When you're rich. I'm not going to say, yeah, exactly, exactly. Rich liberals don't make any sense to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird she asked for money for her team. When I get it, liberals don't make any sense to me. It's weird she asked for money for her team. When I get it, my son's in the same travel ball team. It's a lot of money. But hey, lady, you're a millionaire. You ask people for money right now? It's like when Oprah and The Rock in Hawaii. You guys need to donate money. It's like, hey, bitch, between the two of you, you're billionaires.

It's not even that bad, I don't think, but it's just a weird look. They made the money, though. They 10 000 mark sometimes i feel weird too when you see somebody doing like a 10 000 show i mean that's they surpassed it that's okay okay but i mean i think i would need more information like what's going on with this? There was this clip of The Rock getting booed. Yeah, I saw this. Why did he get booed? No, it's fake. The guy took a clip from his WWE. He's playing the heel now, so they're booing him as the heel.

It's what the crowd, it's WWE crowd. So this guy's looking at him getting booed in wherever it is for the victims in the Maui's. So what did he say? He broke K-fab um garbage like so he's denying i hate dignifying bullshit with response when you use why it's tragic offensive yeah no that's good yeah who wrote this you know uh the moment you're referring to yeah so he's saying it's not it's because i'm the heel you idiot yeah and it has nothing to do with

the yeah well that guy i mean like was it worth it to that guy? Yes. What? The guy who did the post? Yeah, was it worth it? Really, though, ultimately, is it worth it? For him, you go because he doubled down on it. I went down this rabbit hole. He doubled down on it. So he got 30 million views, and then the guy doubles down on it. He's like, oh, really?

You're helping out? And then starts giving facts about Maui. Yeah, but what is it? The Rock's going to fix Maui? Yeah, so what is it? The Rock's going to fix Maui? Yeah. So what's this guy saying? What's this guy saying? That The Rock should use all of his money to help fix Maui? Yeah.

And then what? Another tragedy will happen and then another tragedy will happen? It's not up to The Rock to do that. I'm with you. Yeah, yeah. I'm with you. Okay, okay. I think he's saying that The Rock asking for money is where it's like...

Yeah, but The Rock has a huge platform. So did he not donate to Maui as well? I did not that he even has to but he probably did i'm sure he did you know so it's like no but you're saying is it worth it for that guy to kind of troll the rock yeah yeah 30 million views that's all that but that's all that guy wants now we're talking about it yeah this is exactly what i guess so you think that guy's doing it because he wants to be a legit journalist he didn't give're talking about it. Yeah, this is exactly what he wants. I guess so. You think that guy's doing it because he wants to be a legit journalist? He doesn't give a fuck? I don't know. But this is why I'm saying things like that.

People that believe that professional sports are scripted are idiots. Because you would not be able to hide that. I know. No, of course not. It would be impossible to keep it under wraps. But nobody thinks that's real, right? There would be someone like, no, there's people. Well, conspiracy. Oh, they're conspiracy.

Sam Tripoli thinks it's real. Oh, no, you're right. Yesterday, Sam's like, how about that game? It's so scripted. I just went, have a good day. That's so funny, dude. Okay, so then, that would mean that all 32 billionaires that own the team are in on it. Yeah.

That means Vegas is in on it because you'd bet. That means Detroit's like, what the fuck? That means you would have to hide. You would have to make sure that no one associated with any team is able to gamble. No friends. That means baby mamas who are mad that they're not getting paid that know the secret aren't going to come out. Do you know how

fucking dumb it is to think that this shit is scripted? It's on a magnitude of a scale that you would not be able to hide. Someone would come out already. Someone would have been like, it's scripted. Yeah. You would not be able to. It's on a magnitude of a scale that you would not be able to hide. Totally agree. Someone would come out already. Yeah. Someone would have been like, it's scripted.

I have the proof. Do they come up with it? The whistleblower would already have been out. Literally no one said it. Do they come up with this because it's easier for them to digest why their team sucks so bad? That's why. Yes.

Schaub's got it. Well, that's definitely some of it. It makes them feel better. It's all scripted. Here's the other thing, though. Are people trying to influence it? Maybe. But it's not scripted.

Of course, of course. Referees. But this is why. People do this because they are failures. They think, well, there has to be a reason why all of this is going amazing and everyone's making a million fucking trillion dollars, and I just fucking sit and i sit and i and i'm i sit at home or whatever there's that you know like you catch yourself doing it sometimes like fuck this motherfucker you're like wait wait hold on no everything's cool i'm good we're good and here's the thing about all the

conspiracy this conspiracy wild so this is wild no but even for somebody that's on the left. Wild. But check this out. Dark Brandon? To think that the liberals are using this. They're not smart enough to do this. No, no, no. Let me just point out and try to make it my podcast. Smart enough to do what? To use. To hide this conspiracy.

Listen. Now we're talking about this. Bill Clinton was the president of the United States. Power, influence. He couldn't hide one chick that was sucking his dick. And you're telling me that the NFL is scripted? Oh, the people think the liberals are scripted? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The liberals are fucking idiots. But also all the owners are on the right. Exactly. They're not going to be like, why would they help out the left? Why would they help out? Well, we're talking about two different things, though, right? Now we're talking about the conspiracy. The Dark Brandon thing?

Yeah. That's insane. A president posted that. But this was after the Super Bowl. Right. I know that. Okay. I know, but he's trolling.

Good for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for him. But this isn't. He's not. He's not. Whoever's controlling. He has no idea what's going on.

He has no clue. He's all red eyes. Cool. Give me no cookies. He's like, I look good. Yeah. You no idea what's going on. He has no clue. He's all red eyes. Cool. Give me those cookies. He's like, I look good. Yeah. You know, something's different about this. I like this.

Can we do this? Yeah. This is, I mean, he thinks, well, no. So this is because of the Super Bowl. He posted it. But this is the agenda. This is where people think the agenda is that liberals are controlling what's happening with the Super Bowl, Taylor Swift, Kelsey, and it's going to influence the election. Basically, this is it.

And that's why the board is open, so they can get everybody in, then do mail-in voting. Right, right, right. It's a whole thing. Or Patrick Mahomes is just the greatest quarterback we've ever seen. Right, right, right. And the Niners really fucked up. They didn't capitalize on a lot of opportunities. They didn't even know the overtime

rules. There's that. Or this very rich girl can't find a man because most dudes can't handle her fame, and she found one they can. Yeah, or she sucks. There's that. But even if she says, like, hey, guys, all my young girls out there, go out and vote. Okay? Them bitches voting.

Yeah, but is she going to say who to vote for? Yeah, but the— No, she likes record sales. If most people vote— Record sales. If most people vote— That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but if most people vote, it will be a liberal swing because most – I think there's more people who would vote Democrat.

Oh, I don't think so. In America, I just think they won't. I think. But maybe not. That may not be right. That's why the board is open so they get all these mail-in ballots. If you look at the stats about who – what's the voting turnout?

It's actually – Low. Very terrible. Oh, yeah. That's why they want mail-in ballots. But Republicans vote. Right. That's why they want mail-in ballots. But Republicans vote. Right. That's what my point is.

Democrats don't really vote for the most part, I think. I think. Unless it's changing. Well, they voted last. Well, they also have, like, however they do the voting areas, that's all messed up and all that shit. But anyways, whatever. Yeah.

They should make everybody vote. Everybody should have to vote. It should be a national holiday. I guess. It should be a national holiday. Everyone has work off. You have to vote. It should be. I don't think you should have to vote, whatever. They should make everybody vote. Everybody should have to vote. It should be a national holiday. I guess. It should be a national holiday. Everyone has work off. You have to vote. It should be.

I don't think you should have to vote, though. Some people are fucking morons. Oh, most people are not informed voters. Yeah. So there are morons, and there are people who are like, what is this? Yeah, people will say to me, you should vote. I'm like, should I? You don't know all the shit you have to vote for?

I don't really know what's going on. I picked Kanye last time. Wait, wait, wait. We have to vote for? I don't really know what's going on. I used to have a dude. I picked Kanye last time. Wait, wait, wait. We have to vote for the sheriff. Yeah. That feels like an interview position. Yeah, yeah. Right?

The guy with the mustache. Why are we voting for the sheriff? I picked the guy with the mustache. So what I'm saying is like we're all, most of us are uninformed. So that's why the voting turnout is so low. Because when people say vote, we always think president. But then you look at the ballot and you're like, what's the county controller?

American Idol, all of that stuff. Rubin. Sorry, 2002. American Idol strikes up this Sunday, baby. Favorite show on TV. I love American Idol. Can't get enough of it. I know Nick watches it. My family get enough of it. I don't.

I know Nick watches it. My family says. Chin watches it. My family says. Jelly Roll's back. He's going to be a mentor. Who? Jelly Roll. He's going to be on the new season.

Oh, cool. As a mentor and an act. Yeah. Cool. Jelly Roll's too famous for us now. Yeah. Yeah, I don't watch that show. Sounds like Brian McKnight.

What do you watch? Lamb. He watches Lamb and bullshit like that. Yeah. Guys, you know what was great? What? Mr. and Mrs. Smith no it wasn't it was

I didn't watch it I won't I know it's bad why would I watch something I don't like there we go I love Glover though I've heard good things too

no no no this show's great man no it's not it is no it's not you haven't even seen it I know why would I watch a show I don't like

you haven't seen it how do you know if you don't like it chicken and the egg oh my god you're a monster dude it's not that's the name of his review show chicken and the like it. Chicken and the Egg. Oh, my God. You're a monster. Dude, it's not. That's the name of his review show.

Chicken and the Egg. Welcome to Chicken and the Egg. Didn't see it. Don't like it. Why would I watch it if I didn't watch it, if I didn't like it? Rotten Tomatoes is bullshit. Never bring that up. Audience score.

Yeah, it's all bullshit. Audience score is not great. No, that's not good, yeah. It's good. But all of Rotten Tomatoes is bullshit. The only reason to go see something or to see something is if you see the trailer and it makes you want to see it. Correct. That's it.

That's it. Dude, I watched this. I watched. Oh, God. I've been watching. I've been watching trailers and I go, that's a movie I want to watch. I like the movie way more often because I do that. Then, oh, hey, you got to watch this.

No. That's why they put so much money in trailers because idiots. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, because you see what kind of movie it is. Then you go see the movie and it's trash. Sometimes, sometimes. Most of the time.

More often than not, that is a better way to judge if I want to go see a movie than hearsay or what Rotten Tomatoes said. Let's take a little break because, guys, I'm going to ask you a question. Are you the same guy you were 10 years ago? No. I'm definitely not. movie than hearsay or what rotten tomatoes said let's take a little break because guys i'm gonna ask you a question are you the same guy you were 10 years ago i'm definitely not i'm exhausted

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brand by primary care physicians based on an independent survey conducted by IQVIA 2022. You'll like this, Nick. Fuck this noise. You know what I got into recently? The Bachelor. I haven't watched it for years. I have nothing to watch. And that came out and I went,

let me peep this. That show is so ridiculous. They got a mute girl. They got the black girls. They got the token white girls. They check all boxes. This is what I would do. I love this guy saying that the white girls are now the tokens now. Imagine you're The Bachelor.

America hasn't changed that much, buddy. It has, though. Imagine you're The Bachelor, though. You think this dude's into 85% of those chicks? Imagine you're The Bachelor. You show up. In's into 85% of those chicks? Imagine you're the bachelor. You show up. In 2024, you go like this. Nah, bro.

Eight, nine, ten. You think you have the same standards as this motherfucker, dude? Huh? You think you have the same standards as this motherfucker? No. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That dude's a don. You're like, oh, they're all hot.

This dude's like three of them. Yeah. That guy right away is like, I like the one in the green dress. He's going to be like this. He's like, that's not how the show works. I've had second versions of you before. Dude, let me tell you something right now. You're on The Bachelor, and you're on The Bachelor in 2024, and you got to fucking be like, oh, God, I got to keep some of these because one doesn't have a leg.

The producer's like, you got to keep the girl who can't hear in. I go like this. I go, I walk in, day one. If you've checked a box, the door is there. Whitesites stay. So stupid. I'm talking to you too, Asians. Oh, oh, oh.

I didn't know Asians have ass. You know what's a funny show to watch? Have you guys seen some kind of like love in translation? So no one speaks English. I'm out. Have you guys seen some kind of like love in translation? So no one speaks English. I'm out. Some Asians can stay. It's hilarious.

Some Asians can stay. It's great. So all the girls don't speak English. And the guy does? And they have to communicate with each other. And they do all these things. They smell each other. It sounds frustrating. It's really frustrating.

It's an amazing show, though. You know why? Because it's like frustrating. It's an amazing show though. You know why? Because it's like 10%. It's not an amazing show. No, but the thing about it is it shows, you know, like,

there's so much nonverbal communication. Yeah, I get it. You know what I mean? It's a lot of that. You're going to watch a whole season of it though? I don't know.

I'm good for two episodes. I walk in and out of the room and I go, hey, what's going on? Linger a little bit so you can watch more. Yeah, yeah. So they can't talk, huh?

Can't understand each other other than like, I'll be back. You want to smash? That's what that is. Yeah. This would be Chris on this show

with the girls. You understand this? Huh? You understand this? You understand this? What would you be like? Chris is like, Build this city. Yeah.

Like you'd be out there with flashcards trying to teach him English. Yeah. Like a beta fuck, you know? Like a bitch ass, like the best friend. Bro, fuck you, dude. You're the hater, dude. I'm like, eh?

You know he's a bad guy. That's you. Trying to cook their home dishes and shit. You know that's not true, my brother. I know, you are not. No, no, Eric is not that guy. Well, this is my son when he grows up. And he was like this,

fuck you, Dad, I'm not working out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You pushed me too hard. You pushed me too hard. Fuck you, I'm eating cookies. What up, Eric, Brennan, Chris, Mike, Chin? My name's Toby. I just want to get your guys' thoughts

on some stuff going on in Oklahoma. Oklahoma's trying to pass a bill that would... You're like, fuck, I don't like baseball. I'm going the other direction. It's a bill that would target furries. Pretty much the school would try to get in contact with the child's parent. And if no parent was available to pick up the child, the school would actually call animal control to remove the child from class. and if no parent was available to pick up the child, the school would actually call

animal control to remove the child from class. Is it Bill and Uncle? I just want to get your guys' thoughts. Yeah, but wait, I don't understand. Hold on, I'm glad to hear you. I heard everything he said. Let me just get it straight. So the kids are done with school. If they contact the parents, the parents don't pick them up, they call animal

control? No, no, no, but he said something about furries. Yeah, if they're acting like furries, then they'll have the parents pick them up. So this is a liberal thing, I guess. It's a conservative bill against furries, which is like. Right. Oh, where the kid can say they feel like a cat. Oh, then you call animal control. No, no, no.

I'm 1,000% with this. So your kid is a cow or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Call animal control. No, no, no. I'm 1,000% with this. So your kid is a cow or whatever it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, call animal control. Then they come in with a big stick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, get him, get him, get him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Act like an animal. And then that's when the parents come in and go, what did you do to my child? This is crazy. But he said it was an owl. You said he was an owl. You're treating him like a wolf. What are you supposed to do?

He was doing it like this with his neck. An owl. He was in the tree. We were treating him like a wolf. What are you supposed to do? He was doing it like this. Yeah, yeah. An owl. He was in the tree. We zapped him. Bro. That's crazy, right? He's in the tree. We tried to feed him a mouse.

Yeah. Yeah, we fucking shoved it in there. He might be sick. He might be a little sick. In the cafeteria, you're a kid going to a thing. Oh, no, no, no. You're an owl. Owls don't eat ham sandwiches.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here. Hey, hey. Like this don't eat ham sandwiches. Here. Hey, hey. Like this. Open your fucking mouth. A live mouth. Yeah, yeah. Then we'll see how far that goes. Use your talent, you fucking idiot.

Okay, so. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, you don't like this? Fly away. No one's stopping you? Yeah. Okay, so this is a, okay, wow. Hey, what a waste of time.

Yeah, I know. What a waste of everyone's taxpaying money and time. No, no, this is a straight up conservative troll bill right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just them fighting back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, this is what we'll do. Oh, you guys want to go that far?

Check this out. Yeah, yeah. We're going to treat your son like a fucking ostrich. We're going to put him in the zoo yeah you should have like a trank dart he's four all right i'm not an owl i'm sorry yeah it's fucked dude it's like if you're we're gonna clip your wings buddy this is um you have to go to if you have to go to jumanji high it's like what are we talking about

jumanji you this is uh so stupid can you imagine talking about? Jumanji U? Yeah, Jumanji U. This is so stupid. Can you imagine if Calvin started acting like, I don't know, a hippo? And you're just like, this is what he is, everybody. I would beat you up, dude. This would be me when you beat me up. I deserve it. Dude, you're...

Just taking it. Yeah, it would be like Patrick Swayze when he goes out in the last surfing in – what's that, Point Break? He knows he's going to die. Or he'd be like – I think that – yeah, I mean, you have mental problems, you know? It's on the parents. Well, well, well. No, no, but the thing –

But there is – there are people who are born with broken brains. But yes, it is on the parents. No, I agree. I agree. Some kids are, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but that's the thing, too. It's like that's the thing that, for some reason, does not want to be spoken about at all about any of this kind of stuff.

Right, right, right. You would think, you'd be like, oh, we have to go now talk to a psychologist because my kid thinks this and maybe what's going on here. Right, right. But there's one side that wants you to be like, oh, no, embrace that. Yeah, of course, right, yeah. And they're that. And then now we all have to accept that. And we're just kind of like, no, this don't feel like. No, oh, no. Embrace that. Yeah, of course. Right, yeah. And they're that. And then now we all have to accept that. And we're just kind of like, no, this don't feel like.

No, no, no. This don't feel right. You're not a crocodile. Yeah. Yeah. You're not a crocodile. Get Steve Irwin. Then you should be able to do like this.

Kids acting up. Oh, you're a crocodile? Then throw them in with some real crocodiles. Yeah. Go play with your friends. They don't recognize you? You know what I'm saying? Dad!

No, ask your friends. That's your friends. That's your friends. It's crazy. I don't know. We live in crazy times. In 20 years, we're going to look back at this and be like, can you believe that we were doing that?

Or if it wins and we're just fucked. Eh. Yeah, it's not sustainable, that's for sure. This was funny because i always i want to see brendan do this apparently this is like some social media influencer was talking like i could be in the ring with you you know oh okay yeah with who a professional yeah uh sean strickland it was the former world champion just a few months ago middleweight i know who he is, yeah. Complete psychopath. Oh, yeah, yeah.

You have to listen to him. He lets him wear himself out. Oh, my. He's barely touching him. No worries, no worries. You're a very tough influencer. Is it said in there that you're about to get hurt? No, you're good. You're good, bro.

This cameraman's an idiot. In your brain, what do you think this towel is gonna go? Here we go. Look at me, towels are being thrown. Come on, man. Come on, towel. It's crazy. I'm so sad Chin's brother got... No. That looks like my brother.

Part of it's good, too, because these kids think... Like, that dude thought, that's going to be all right. Do they? It's not. Hold on. He's also doing it for clout and views. Do they actually think that? They're just doing it for clout and views. There's no think that? They're just doing it for clout and views.

There's no way this guy actually thinks he's got a chance with Sean Strickland, right? I think he thought it wouldn't be that bad. No, but play it out like this. Even if he thinks that, oh, this is going to be great, how annoying is that for Sean Strickland to think, oh, you want me to be a part of this? Well, now you're going to get the smoke of it, too. Yeah, so I hope people see this like, like oh maybe we shouldn't do this anymore it's like the guy that like crashed a plane or the youtube star that like bad stuff happens for clout okay well then when bad shit happens to you we gotta be

like good because this should stop influencers from doing this yeah that could have been way worse i mean come on bro that was bad enough no he could have hit him the body dropped them knocked him out he could have head kicked them he could have hit him in the body, dropped him, knocked him out. He could have head kicked him. He could have knocked him out. Sometimes it's got to be like the guy's on the ground on the mat, and the camera guy's just got to be in his face. Yeah, I mean, this was bad. It'd be like, still a good idea?

Influence. You know what I mean? This is your brain on influence. Yeah, because then I could see this dude coming back being like, hey, I was still standing. It wasn't that bad, bro. I was just warming up. You got to make sure people know. Yeah, I get it. But the professional fighters who are around are like, dude, dude, dude, come on, man. It wasn't that bad, bro. I was just warming up. You got to make sure people know.

But the professional fighters who are around are like, dude, dude, dude, come on, man. You're going to kill this dude. Right, right, right, right, right. But the regular person thinks like, this happens all the time, dude. You go like, listen, I was doing some boxing training because it's a great workout. And I tell you, there's something about that.

You're doing it. You think like, you know. Yeah, yeah, you start feeling yourself. Now you see why YouTubers do the same thing because they're young so now they're out there thinking like oh man i trained for like six months i'm ready for this fool this is like this is like this is like but but you know this is like like take put it in our world right like i just fucking had a heckler she was like a positive yeah she was like a big fan and like saying stuff just excited yeah yeah but which is the worst yeah it is it is the well it's all it's all bad but yeah yeah it's

people think like like sometimes i'll post like i would say 95 or more of my hecklers are fans fans i love you i would almost 100 like i don't i don't they're just excited they might drink so like so like is that part of the act when you're going like this? So when I post, so when I post the hecklers, cause you know, I don't often post my material.

I'll post hecklers. People will be like, that's not, no, not even that. That's not heckling. And you're like, no,

it is heckling. If you interrupt the show, it's heckling. They think heckling is fuck you. Right. Right. Right. Right.

But interrupting the show, whether it's negative or positive, is heckling. Right. Positive. The positive is hard Because in your mind You're like Oh I have to be nice

Yeah you can't light him up And people think Well don't be an asshole to this guy He's just showing love Yes Right So anyway It's almost worse

Anyway this woman It is yeah But this woman In a certain way it is But this woman was Heckling me saying like Can I get a picture with you In the middle of the show

And you know, this doesn't stress me out. Like, I do this. It's going to be fine. This is what Sean Strickland is dealing with right now. It doesn't stress him out. It doesn't stress him out. This fight doesn't stress him out.

You know what I'm saying? He's not wearing any fashion. So like, if that woman, what Sean Strickland did basically was like, if I brought that woman on stage and gave her the microphone and go, go ahead. She's going to eat shit. And never do it again. And she's probably like, I just shut the fuck up. But it's like you don't think that because you see when you're doing something like that, fighting, it looks easy because it's easy for Sean Strickland.

Correct. like that fighting it looks easy because it's easy for sean strickland correct like when i'm on stage i look carefree and like it anyone can do it because i fucking spent time working on making this easy for me but people they just need that realization even with i went i went with this drift i was like i can fucking drift i've drifted caught my i can drift i'm with the real drifter i went with him and then he's like are you doing like no oh yeah yeah no i'm gonna run this thing into the fucking no no i'm good i'm good yeah it's like feel me i'm like no's like, oh, you do it. I'm like, no. No, no, no. I'm going to run this thing into the fucking, no, no, I'm good. I'm good. They're like, film it. I'm like, no, I'm good.

I can't do it. I'm cutting the clip together now, but I was, dude, this woman basically stood up in the middle of the show, I'm sorry, in the beginning of the show and said, Chris, the meet and greet was sold out. Can I get, I have $20. Can I give you $20 and get a selfie? Just in the middle of the beginning In the middle of my act right And

I made fun of her it was funny everyone was laughing And then she wouldn't stop talking I said I'm going to give you 10 seconds You can say whatever you want I'm not going to talk 10 seconds so I put my phone on The seconds started going She's starting to talk About 4 seconds in

Some guy from the balcony goes show your tits bro crushes it was crushes the most plainly disrespectful shit it was on i didn't really know actually people said that to people but like i know just from the balcony show your tits bro correct you know you know what it's brought the house down you know what's a reminder of actually how incredible it is to have a room full of people focused on you and letting you do what you do yeah because the nature of people it's not normal is to do that yes and also you do what you do. Yeah. Because the nature of people – It's not normal. Is to do that.

Yeah. True. And also, you're in a room full of people like – if you're in front of a thousand people and they're not all from the same place. They all make different money. They're all different races. Right, right. And they're all sitting there and deciding if they agree with you or not and laughing.

Right. It's an incredible thing that people don't really think about. So that's why when that kind of thing happens, the nature of people is just to be like, you know, fuck you. Right, right, right. What's going on? People are selfish. They paid their tickets. Right.

And they're sitting there like, why? What is it? You know? And so that's just why it's like. So is your alcohols involved? Alcohols. That's why it's like. Kind of had a rough day.

You know what I'm saying? That's why it's like, that's why we get a sort of, you get, you have kind of visceral reactions sometimes to like a heckler. But, you know, so you have to just, you know, you're having that moment and that kind of shit happens. You're just kind of like, girl, get out of here. That's why they kick people out. You see the video where Theo kicked someone out?

Yeah. Did you see that video? Yeah. Somebody showed it to me. Yeah. Yeah. But I just just i'm always it's like it's theo told the bounce i do your fucking sorry i made you do your fucking job

it was funny but like i just feel like uh you gotta it just any anything other than laughing and like i don't know it's just you know i hope comes to your show and heckles you and see how you handle it john jones he was just at a comedy show heckling the shit out of this guy. You're kidding me. No. Drunk off his ass. Who? The fighter, right?

The fighter. Yeah. The greatest of all time. Yeah, that's a tough one. Was there video? Oh, yeah. Wait, what do you mean it's a tough one? You see Jon Jones?

Meaning what? What do you mean? It's like, listen. Hey, bro. No, no. Nobody's going to fight. What do you mean? No, no, no.

Still, though, there's a situation you're having where it's like there's a there's a moment like I've I've Got into it. We're not heckling. He's heckling. He's disrupting but he's going Give us your best white joke and just keeps talking and the guys clearly like ah fuck. Okay He's soft. So wait, you're an audience member, right? Oh, that makes this guy so nervous. Uh-huh. You're a little drunk, I assume. Un poquito. Un poquito?

I would say... I want your hair shit. I want a good white joke. I want a white joke. Give me the best... I'll do a remodel to this. I'm a good white joke. I want my friends to give me a good white joke.

Good. Good joke. Give it to him. Give it to him. Where is he at? I'm talking to him. Huh? Santa Fe. I was going to ask you.

Good luck, Joe. Give it to him. Yes, everybody give it to me right now. Just blackout drunk? Well, my kitty over here. Is this guy aware of who he's talking to? I don't think so. But also, deal with it.

What's this guy doing? Yeah, he's having a conversation. He's not getting moving on with the show. He's literally having a conversation. I guess it's okay because it doesn't sound like there's that many people there, so who cares? But, like, what do you mean? I'm saying this is tough for this dude.

He's obviously not, like, he's not an experienced comic. That's what I'm saying this is tough for this dude. He's obviously not like. Experienced. He's not an experienced. That's what I'm saying. No, no, no. I know, but what I'm saying is like, so like even in a situation where like if you're, if this were you, you wouldn't even be performing there. Right.

Why wouldn't you be performing there? Right. So like. But say it was at the improv. I know. And Jon Jones is in the back. But in that situation, we would already know that Jon Jones is in the crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm trying to say. If you're just at a coffee shop doing like an open mic show and a fucking professional fighter is acting new in front of 17 people, that's an intimidating situation. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the barkeep or the barista that's doing the coffee, they're not going to come over and be like, sir, you need to – it's like we're in a situation and this guy's just not francis and gana's right he's not equipped like uh professionally to like deal with this because to me to disarm it the situation yeah because i've been in a situation where it's been like like like i could tell this dude some gangster dudes dude was just got out of jail i picked up on it and like i'm i'm now I'm clowning the dude and but I'm really being like in a way that it's like I don't want to go yeah yeah yeah and everybody's laughing everybody's

having a good time but there I got to a point where I saw the guy's face where it was like all right man right right you know you got me let's move on yeah and that's the moment I could be like so what's in the news yeah right but that's the moment I could be like all right so we done yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah of course most of are cool with it too i've had hell's angels and i was lighting them up and then the one guy goes i went too much because i went all right and then just kept going there's a moment where it's like you're pushing it but they but then i think that you as a when you're a pro at it they know too like all right i shouldn't have fucked with you because you have well yeah i mean you have a microphone it's like yeah i guess unless you're drunk as fuck like i

mean he doesn't give a fuck but But that's what I'm saying. So this is like a thing. No, this is a very tough situation. Yeah. No doubt. No doubt. Wait, Google John Jones. This was so funny.

Google John Jones. Someone said this is Brendan. Is that what he said? No, that's not the word I said. But that one's funny as hell. Right, right. That's what I thought it was. Oh, my God, dude.

Like, I don't even. Dude, hold on. He's the greatest to ever do it. Is he? He's undefeated. He's never lost. Wow. Like, I don't even. Dude, hold on. He's the greatest to ever do it. Is he? He's undefeated. He's never lost. Wow. Like, he's got.

Heavyweight champ, light heavyweight champ. Nightmare. I mean, he couldn't be a worse person to heckle you. Right, but he's not going to fucking beat the guy up. He might. He's hammered. Well, okay, and then the guy is set for life. He's like this.

Shut up, man. What the fuck are you doing? And the guy's like, ah, you don't want to do this with me. Or maybe there's another guy in the crowd who's like, yeah, man, shut up. And then it's like, what are people going to do? Like, I wouldn't. You know what? Listen, I would say if I saw this guy walking down the street, I wouldn't know he was a fighter.

I'm not into it like that. Most people aren't. Most people aren't into like, you know, he could just be in the supermarket somebody be like yeah Yeah, your face. Yeah, you need somebody like somebody needs to run over go Right right right about six five you're about to die I know I told you guys I would join comedy a long time ago and remember Brewing Company in Westwood. Yeah So I walk in and this just comics on stage yelling at a guy in the crowd. And there's a situation going on. I was outside.

I'm the biggest guy around. So somebody goes, Eric, you're going to come here. So I go in and this guy's standing there and this guy's just like this. Ha, ha, ha. You know, like whatever. No, no, he's standing up. The seat. Sorry, the audience member.

The audience member. Yeah, yeah. You know, so I come over to the audience member. I look at him and I put my hand on his shoulder. Just, hey, man, everything okay? Yeah. What I felt, I was like, oh, this guy could kill us all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like straight up, he could kill us all. Right. And I said to the guy, yo, man, let me buy you a drink. Come outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy straight up, he was like, yeah, man, I just got back from Iraq. Right, right, right, right.

He was like, yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm special forces or something like that. Right, right, right. And I could tell. I was like, oh, this guy could kill you. Right. And you snuck up behind him. But I didn't. You know what I mean?

But so I go to, afterwards, I tell the comic, I was like, yo, dude, you almost died today. Yeah. Right, right. You know, he was like, yeah, well, you know what he said? What? He was like, I've been training in jujitsu. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yo, dude, it's like I.

No, man. You get to a yo, dude. It's like I – Nah, man. You get to a certain – you know what it is? You get to a certain age where you're like – you look around and you like look at people differently. You know, like you assess people differently. Yeah, for sure. Right? Yeah, yeah.

You don't go into – Well, especially once you have kids. Yeah, that's the ultimate. I assume everyone's a pedophile. You also assess yourself differently. So like you're going into a situation a little different. You might go into a situation and be like, you walk into a room like, all right, I've trained. I could probably kill everybody in this room, right?

Or I could handle myself. Dude, I've been in like two fights in my whole life. And one of them, the chick hit me first. You know what I'm saying? So I'm just like, you know what I mean? So it's like i'm not and i just and also i'm a victim of being six three you know 300 pounds so like it's like not many people right right because of that but like test me you're probably gonna win the fight right so so i'm just kind of like there's situations that you get yourself in where you're just kind of like, all right.

Now you know. You walk in a room. You go, okay, I'm not going to mess with this guy. You see the people's face. I always say this. I'm not concerned about the dude that you step on his foot and he's like, what the fuck, bro? That guy's a bitch. The dude you worry about is you step on his foot and he just looks at you and goes, it's all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's all good. He just assesses things. He goes, yeah, you're goes, it's alright. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's all good. He just assesses things and goes, yeah, you're alright. You're alright, man. You know what I mean? Yeah. Cops got that. Most cops have that. Yeah, most fighters too.

Fighters, cops, people that can deal with things. Have you seen this? Dude talking shit to Joe Schilling. This is exactly what you're talking about. Have you seen this, Eric? Joe's way too calm. This guy's been harassing everybody all night and Joe's like, move up, man. He's talking shit to Joe Schilling? Yeah. This is like exactly what you're talking about. Have you seen this, Eric? Joe's way too calm. Look, this guy's been harassing everybody all night

and Joe's like, move him. He's talking shit to him. Joe goes, what? Unnecessary. It did look like the guy maybe cocked up.

No, that guy went like this. That's why I got, so he tried to and Joe and Joe won. Oh, really? Yeah. He's lucky.

You can't, you can't do that. You can't do that You can't do that You know The guy Look look Honestly This guy could have killed him

But Maybe he hit his head on the ground Or something Boom boom Joe Shillen's a savage You guys know that Brian Urlacher Boss Rutan story?

It's about stepping on a foot too It's a great story I'm sure it's on the internet Oh really? Well you could just fill us in, though, right? I can tell you. Yeah, sure, man. Boss Rudin accidentally stepped on Brian Urlacher's toes, and he said, oh, I'm sorry.

But Brian Urlacher kept going at him constantly. Urlacher is a football player. A football player, yeah. One of the greatest linebackers of all time. He's probably 6'6", 245. Right, right. Freak. Absolute freak.

Right. But Boss Rudin is Boss Rudin. Yes. So great. Boss Rudin beat the shit out of him. If you step outside, was Brian Urlacher the Chicago Bears? Right, right. Freak. Absolute freak. Right. But Boss Rutten is Boss Rutten. Yes. Boss Rutten beat the shit out of him. If you step outside, was Brian Urlacher the Chicago Bears? Oh, my God. You're putting me on the spot here. I step on his toes.

Kid you not. So I step on his toes. You know how it goes. You step on, but you don't really step on somebody's toes. And he's pushing me. I said, listen, man, I'm really sorry. I didn't know the guy. I mean, this big guy.

And I said, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about it. He says, no, no, I don't need your sorry. And I look at him, and he's, I'm really sorry. I didn't know the guy. I mean, this guy. And I said, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about it. He says, no, no, I don't need your sorry. And I look at him and he's drinking a bud or whatever. I said, listen, you want a beer or something? I don't need your beer. I said, listen, normally three strikes. Please, you got to stop now, man.

So I walk away. I mean, it's a charity event. So he says, you want to take it outside? Oh, boy. So my friends and I start laughing. And I said, which was not the reaction he expected, I guess. And I said, yes. And then the bouncer jumped on him, and I think they explained to him who I was,

and he came to me and he apologized. Wow. Yeah, Brian Urquhart got fucked. No, but that's great for Brian Urquhart to have a recognition like that. That's all you need is somebody just to tell you, hey, man, that guy is this. That'd be the worst guy. And that's like a young Basarudin. That'd be the worst guy to fight.

It's funny, too, because this guy's so big, right? He would beat the shit out of anybody regularly. Ran like a 4'4 in the 40 at 250 pounds. Absolutely one of the greatest of all time. But I guess that has nothing to do with, like... Fighting? Oh, no, no. Well, it doesn't have nothing to do with it, but yeah.

Boss Wu doesn't care. I have this, like... Boss Wu doesn't care. I know, I know. I remember when I was doing Rogan, however many years ago that was, and I say to him, what's the practical use of jiu-jitsu?

And he says to me, well, if we had a fight, I would kill you. Right. You know, I was just kind of like, and you just go, I mean, imagine having that unbridled like rage underneath you that you have to keep in check at all times. I'm just saying the worst part about being a trained fighter is not being able to use it.

No, it's, it's been, no, I don't think it's that. I think it's being cool in every situation like your shit pops off it's like cool i know but what i'm saying is that's a must be a hard thing like what if you're in a situation where like it's happening and now you have to be like okay i let me make sure i let everybody it's almost like you have to be like uh you have a bullhorn to go quick announcement i have 10 years of jujitsu training and whatever if you fuck with me i will be you know just to let everybody know for the lawsuits whatever it is like that nick was there was there some announcement for ufc 300 did they announce the main event there's still

nothing nothing all right they put out some uh like an ad for it and people are thinking like it's dd uh it's drickest duplessy in the picture you can only see like the back of his head but it's just it could just be a generic fighter too. And Hamzat said he's not doing it. They have generic fighters in UFC? Like how they have weekly losers on the WWE? It would be like Hulk Hogan would come out and be like,

against Chris D'Elia! Yeah, hell yeah, dude. Is that it, Nick? This guy's pretty funny. Well, this will be the last one. Hey, guys. this guy's pretty funny well this will be the last one hey guys I'm in a tough spot right now I could use your help I'm an actor I'm 23 years old

and I could really use advice I'm doing really well for myself. And like I'm 6'5", I'm basically Jacob Elordi but with more muscle and I can sing and dance

because I'm a musician. And a musician and I'm booking a lot of roles so it's just the problem is a lot of girls want me and they try to hop on this dick I don't want none of that because I have a girl it gets so hard it's so hard to just this guy submitted this video it's hilarious this guy's hilarious he's laughing he's trying not to laugh

well one thing's how do I get girls to just chill and stop coming after me he's old. Let me go. That guy's great, dude. He's hilarious. Well, you can get why he's booking roles, man.

I really believe that he was really upset about that. And the six girls that watched his podcast were like, mm-mm. Yeah, it's great. So good. Great way to end this. That was funny, yeah. What a great head of hair. Hopefully the guy figures it out. The whole thing, body's great. So good. Great way to end, Nick. That was funny, yeah. What a great head of hair.

Hopefully the guy figures it out. The whole thing, body. Yeah. I feel like... That's the chops. I really hope that it works out for that guy. I thought Brendan was going to say he looked like Taylor a lot. A little bit.

Oh, yeah, a little bit. Not really. Not the same nose. A little bit. He looks bigger. What did he say, 6'5"? Yeah. God damn.

That's crazy. Can't stop, won't stop. Wow. Is that it, Nick? That's it. All right. All right. Thanks.

Austin, tonight, one show, 10 p.m., The Vulcan Gas Company with Brian Callen, Firekid Live. Oh, cool. Yes, sir. I'll be in Rochester, Kitchener, Shreveport, Corpus Christi. Just go to chriscly.com. I'm nowhere yet, but in March I'll be in Atlanta. I'll be in Greensboro.

A bunch of places coming up. I'm getting back on the road, and I'll have my website updated shortly. Dive into crime on Pluto TV. Unravel the mysteries on shows like CSI and Criminal Minds. Or follow the clues in Blue Bloods and NCIS. With thousands of free crime movies and TV shows, Pluto TV is the true home of crime. Download the Pluto TV app and start streaming now on live channels and on demand. You better run for your life.

Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Now, pay never. Sometime in the early 80s, REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing. This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks. And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina, not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet. What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America. Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots, quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine.

My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter. Kyle and I talk all the time about the strange things we come across, but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina. There's crooked cops, brother against brother. Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist? Welcome to Varnumtown. Varnumtown is available wherever you listen to podcasts.