The Golden Hour - Dripping in Diamonds | The Golden Hour #105 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

The guys talk election time, Erik's vomiting story, food poisoning stories, burgers with bacon vs not, Chris' story of an ex walking into his house whilst he was with his girl, Erik's life lesson to not be a sore winner, getting disciplined by their parents, what Brendan and Erik learned from sports that carried over to the rest of their lives and much more! The guys talk election time, Erik's vomiting story, food poisoning stories, burgers with bacon vs not, Chris' story of an ex walking into his house whilst he was with his girl, Erik's life lesson to not be a sore winner, getting disciplined by their parents, what Brendan and Erik learned from sports that carried over to the rest of their lives and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast Arena Club - Right now, you can get 10% off your first purchase by going to https://arenaclub.com/goldenhour Huckberry - Be sure to go to https://huckberry.com/GOLDEN so they know we sent you! You’ll find some of our top products

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us As I show you, use the love, just rebrand it enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour Is that a Trump hat? What is it?

No, it's a Dustin Poirier hat Oh cool Trump can't just claim all red hats I know, but it's weird though because it's like Today's election day and I do want more. It's not weird to wear a red hat. I'm just saying it is weird how red hats and American flags, you just assume. Yeah.

Hey, and you'd be right, right? Yeah, but now, yeah. Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, no, I'm wearing a... So say something. I want to tell you something. Political... It's just war.

I didn't realize. School hat though. I am affected by political ads. Cause I got involved in the local Santa Clarita elections. I'm looking at my ballot and I was like, let me see. And there's this. Local Santa Clarita. Yeah, you gotta get involved in this.

It is important because like school district stuff. It's really the most important. No wait, wait, wait. It really is local. There's this one ad and I realized that I remember his name because it's a negative ad about him. But it's like, and so I saw his name and I was like, oh, that's that dude.

Bro. Dude, same exact thing. Same. So this one guy, this is the ad I see all the time. It was like, George Whiteside. He wants to let pedophiles out of jail. I'm getting one for him. And so, so I'm sitting there with Rachel and I'm like, Whiteside he wants to let pedophiles out of jail So I'm sitting there with Rachel and I'm like, oh there he is ss George Whiteside

You know what? It was like some kind of thing about like whatever it was and I was like and let's just play it safe We got to go I did the exact same thing I did the exact same thing. Stupid moron, so susceptible. I know, but it was like, I was like, I thought, how? But you don't know the other guy. You didn't see that? I did the exact same thing.

No, but there was another guy too that was like, it was like, you know, he was like, he wants to take all your abortion rights away, no matter what, even if a gang of black guys hit you over the head and threw you in the back of a van and they sold you to some Chinese people. It's like, those are the kind of ads they do. That shit works.

As long as I'm voting. And I go, nah. Dude, exact same thing. But I was voting same thing and I was like, I'm like, God, I didn't know the two candidates. And I remember that ad, they're like, whatever his name is, Tran. He actually goes against abortion.

And I was like, but you know what, I didn't want that. I was like, I bet that's fake news. And I voted for him. Of course. I went, oh, that's some bulls. He's probably the good guy. I was thinking the same thing. This is my first Hey, you guys are idiots for doing that for voting no no first for voting willy-nilly and being like oh, yeah

I know him. Oh well some of it. There's two Yeah, so much you have to be balls deep like someone. This is my I just go skip no But this is what I'm trying to make like This ad is on television right? Yeah? It's like it's on TV. You go, how do they allow, if this isn't real, then they have a thing that comes on the screen now that says factcheck.org, whatever, like, you know. You gotta go to it.

You gotta go to the thing. So I'm just kinda like, Dan, they just let this be on TV. But unless you really got your ear to the ground, if you're just getting your information from the media on TV, you're gonna be so polarized, so skewed one way or the other. That's why my dad, we used to argue, I'm like, I get it.

Because he's not in the trenches. He's not watching Elon Musk, he's not watching JD Van. He's just, whatever CNN tells him, he's like, that's word. So how could you not be like, oh my god Yeah, but those things are different in terms of like like I think news programs are different from like this is an actual political ad But what this is what I like they're not though. I know what this is why like and they should always do this It should be like if it's like crystal. E is trash The next commercial should be you know know, Chris D'Alia loves his family, blah, blah, blah.

It should always be both. He may be trash, but he loves his family. No, because that's what, because the other one of that guy I'm telling you about, I did see an ad for him where he was like, the things they're saying about him are not true. Yeah, but later. He's a family man.

But I was like, that ad wasn't good enough. Oh, wow, wow. Because we. Put some money in your ass. Well, no, because we. You know what you are? You're a hoe, dude. Yeah, yeah Put some money in your ass! Well no, cause we... You know what you are? You're a hoe dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I fucking hate it. No, cause we're wired. We're wired. Negative. You're a hoe bro. You're a hoe bro. You know, endorse your shit. It just wasn't good.

Because Trump can't do like a... I'm sorry George White side, it wasn't good enough. Yeah, no, Trump can't do like a pro Trump ad cause we're not wired to endorse that. It has to be him trashing Kamala. And then we're like, oh that's a good ad. You want free scala and then we're like oh that's a good ad you want cuz it's like oh you're right like he should have been trashing the other his ass should have been trashed yes not pro no cuz we're like not like a good combo ad you know what I mean me with both fries and a shake you got the budget yeah I mean fries in a shake yeah

it's yeah well I ate a burger two nights ago bro, and I I saw a video of yours, but you're on TV. You're on stage and Danny had to come on and get you Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I was just I was just in or my went I went to I Had to go to the bathroom What are you seven years old? Nah people say that years old? No, people say that. He's 40 years old. People say that. People say that and... Was it diarrhea? Yeah. Oh, explosive diarrhea? Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, no, no, I'm not just like... I don't know. I have a little respect for the crowd. Yeah, yeah. Oh dude, I was like, guys, don't know what to tell you. Gotta go. It was in Montgomery, I think. It was that bad? No, but I just just happened. Yeah, and thank God I did it.

Yeah, of course, because then you're on stage. Then you have to cancel the show. Or you can't turn around. No, listen, I was just in Orlando. Oh, it happened. Okay, so I was on a red-eye flight first. So before I went to the airport, Rachel ordered some pizza. So I had some pizza with her.

I get in the car, drop to LA Exit Park. I get in the plane, I'm texting her on the plane. She's like, I'm super sick. Oh no. She's like, I'm really sick. She's like vomiting and everything, right? And then I'm like, I'm feeling okay. You know you know I'm a little farty but that's normal. Hey but that's just Eric. Yeah yeah I'm feeling like this is a normal amount of fart. I feel okay.

The driver just. No I'm in the plane now. You imagine sitting by him on a plane. I'm on a plane. I'm just you know what I think. If it smells like fart you go like I know it the plane now. You imagine sitting on a plane. I'm on a plane. I'm just chilling. You know what I think? If it smells like farts, you go like, I know it's you, bro. No, but here's my thing, too. It's so loud, I don't even care. No, I fart hard. I fart the hardest. And then if it's smelly, I turn on the AC real high and go, come on.

Yeah. OK, so I'm on a red eye. So I get to Orlando. That's how it comes out. Yeah, sorry, you're right. You red eye so I get to I get your Yes, sorry you're right I get to the hotel the moment I get into the hotel Projectile vomiting awesome okay and to the point where I don't know about you guys But when I have to vomit like that I've been vomited to I lose all control of my body Yeah, like I'm trying to get to the bathroom where, I don't know about you guys, but when I have to vomit like that, I lose all control of my body. Like I'm trying to get to the bathroom and my body just goes,

you know? And it just, it's seized up. And then it just was like all over the place. And then I, this is me on the phone. I'm like, hey, embarrassing, but I just vomited all over this room. So either you got to change rooms or can you send somebody up?

You know, send somebody up for me and they were like don't worry to the guy's credit he goes are you okay and I was like thanks for asking so the lady comes up and she like you know says I'll bleach it don't worry you know she and she comes up it's like the family guy thing but here's the she's all don't worry we've had people die in here before yeah yeah but here's the thing that happens like I am like I have a show that night. I'm getting there Friday, I have two shows. Clammy.

Bro, when you're sick and you have two shows, one you're like I'll just get through this, two, you wanna cry. I was sitting on the bed, butt ass naked, like looking at my clothes. Hell yeah. It's like six, and the show starts at seven, and I sat there for 45 minutes

Yeah, I know just butt-ass naked looking at the thing, you know And I finally got my clothes on then I had to get an uber and then I had a plastic bag with me You know just and then I can then before the show. I'm sitting there in the green room like this You know lights lights down sweat. I'm just sweating. Did you have a fever? I was I had food poisoning so you had a fever. He had a quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I know it wasn't quick at all. That's what I'm saying. It was like all day I thought I could make it but I did the show, you know, I went on stage There was these two got two funny dudes from that the area they were there. We had Orlando

We had good openers. Yeah, they were funny dude. And I said, you're doing 20, you do 25. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do 10. You do an hour, you're doing 45. So how long did you do that? I did like 45. I powered through it and I told the crowd too. I didn't want to like use an excuse, but I was like, hey, I just gotta let you guys know.

This is what happened to me. And then I thought, okay, I made it through. The manager was like, Eric, thank you so much for not canceling. But then in the middle of the show, I was like, I think I can make it. I think I can. You know? What happened?

You had to go off? No, at the half, between shows, I'm in the green room. Oh, at least it was between though. And then I'm laying down on the couch like, I have to cancel the second show? And I was like, no, I'm not. I powered through the second show.

Towards the end of the show, I was just sitting down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing crowd work like, hey. Yeah, nah, I'm not. I powered through the second show. Towards the end of the show, I was just sitting down, doing crowd work like, yay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Purr, purr, purr. Where you from? I was like, ugh, sorry, I'm all right. I had bags up there and shit.

I was like, it was crazy. But I made it through. It's like Gallagher, they got the, in the front row. Ah! And I'm doing Jim Carrey where I'm like, hey. No, but it's like food poisoning is the worst. And it was from pizza from where? We're never going again.

I don't know what it is. It was like a local place or what? Yeah, it was a local place. You don't want to blast them. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to blast them. And Rachel, she cairned out too. She got her money back. She called?

Nice. Yeah. Do you think it was like the sausage or pepperoni or did you just just fucking with cheese No, I'm so knew his order and poisoned it. Yeah. Well, you think it was the sausage I put in there It was a meat lovers That's the problem you don't get meat lovers man. Yeah Yeah, I knew it. I don't know for some reason it feels risk. It's always wish

Sausage who they toss some Canadian bacon on it. You just fuck with fire, dude. All sorts of different meats in it is. It ain't right. It's, I mean, I understand it tastes good, but I'm just saying like. That's the risk. If it's normal cheese. I gotta say, I don't normally do two meats in one thing. Never.

You never do? Never. Really? Well, okay, but what about, I don't do this, but I think a forgivable one is a bacon cheeseburger. No? No. Yeah, I don't do it either.

No. It's weird to me. What? Clubs, what about ham and turkey club sandwich? No. I don't either. I don't, it's frownable. What?

Yeah, no. I don't, no, no. I'm the minority for sure. You don't put bacon on a hamburger? No, I don't like, never? No, man, no, I don't want a heart attack. Guys, what's going on over here? No, I know, I know. What's going on over here?

I know, I get it. I know these, this sounds crazy to y'all over here, huh? I know, I know. What's going on over here? I know, I get it. I know these, this sound crazy to y'all over here. I know, I know. You in that gallery? I get it, I get it. I'm just, what I'm saying though is, a cheeseburger is all the flavor in it. I love it. Me too.

Like I don't need bacon. Bacon's great. I love bacon. I love it. It's overpowering. Too much salty. I agree, bro. We're the same.

Man. Yeah dude, you suck. And that's why you're getting sick. Yeah dude. No dude, let me tell you something. Me and why you're getting sick. Yeah dude. Let me tell you something. Me and Chris when we got sick. We weren't throwing up in Orlando.

When I go get a good hamburger, if I'm in a good hamburger mood. LA dog wrapped in bacon. That's for hoes man. That's one of the best things ever. That's one of the best things ever. See I take the bacon off. Where's the hot dog? Oh my god.

It's wrapped underneath. It's under the covers man. The street vendors does it. So what's that black thing on the bottom there? Well that's a burnt. Hot dog? That well, that's a burnt That's a pep talk dog dog dog dog dog dog That's what they keep saying hot dog hot dog. So where do you get that? Outside of any clubs and stuff smells so good. Yeah, they do. Oh wow

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Nice. Yeah. And if anyone says they don't like your shoes, that's that ass. You're ready. I'm all set. That makes sense, man. So this is great stuff.

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Yeah, I, I, I, the last time, the last time I got food poisoned, well, no, I've had like little bouts of it, but my God, dude, I mean like throw up and. Oh, when you're on the shitter and you got a trash can in front, the double, the double fury. The worst. I get shredded, I can see my ass.

No, not only that, you're sore the next day, can you keep crunching, you know? And you're dehydrated. The worst of that ever ever was I've just started dating Rachel six months in I think you I think I know this and I went to Costa Rica with her. Oh, you told me this yeah, I got Yeah, yeah, and it was like I Every one every person in a relationship. You've had a moment that you can look back and remember that you go You almost didn't make it with this person Because of because because of something you know what I'm talking about Yeah, you made it through. Yeah, but you can remember the time

I was like she did some shit where maybe I don't want to be with this person. Yeah, this was that thing That's hilarious. She got Eric unleashed because I was like, so I'm really sick. Like I'm dying sick I'm talking about this on the toilet and then we had a room that was like supposed to be romantic. So like it's open. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Rose petals and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, it's a bullshit bathroom door. Okay? This is Rachel. I hate those bathrooms. It's all open. Yeah. So this is, but this is-

And is it right by the bed? Dude, yeah. The worst. You know what? I took her to Costa Rica to an all exclusive resortlusive resort, but the thing is, I realized I should have sprung for the better room. But you're at the resort, so you think, right? Yeah, whatever.

So what really? We're not giving you a room that much anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not gonna be, right? How little did you know? I regret that. Not giving me that room. But this is the moment that I was like, this is the moment I was like, I don't know.

Because she goes, I'm sick sick, and I hear this. You're ruining the trip. Oh, that's,'t know cuz she goes I'm sick sick and I hear this you're ruining the trip Oh, that's oh, dude We're out on the town I'm shitting my pants you're with me let's do it That's what I'm saying you all in this a moment. She was like you're ruining the trip and then like Time really but then she's like, okay So she like she loved it cuz you know it, because you could just order room service. She got to explore the island by herself? She loved ordering this particular thing, avocado chips.

She loved ordering it, all hours, four o'clock in the morning. Can I get some avocado chips? Wow, that's funny. Right, so then now, the next day, I'm still sick. It was a terrible day for me. I'm out on the balcony, and I'm vomiting on the balcony, because everything I drink, me. I'm out on the balcony and I'm vomiting on the balcony. Cause like everything I drink, if I think of this, I think I'm okay.

Little sip of water. You know, right? And then I'm vomiting outside and I hear this. I hear this in the other room. I hear this, can I get some avocados? Okay. Did you talk to her about it? Oh yeah.

I was like, I was furious. But we, you know what, we rallied, cause it was Christmas. Well you rallied. No, no, no. Oh sure, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. We rallied, but I will say this,

she was supposed to come with me to a New Year's gig I was doing, I was like, yeah, I need a break. You know what I mean? Right, right, right, right. At the time, you know what I mean? But like, this is why I'm telling this story, is because she never really apologized for that.

Yeah. Hopefully she sees this. But cut to the other day, she's telling me how sick she is. Oh, okay. She was sick and I went like this. You're ruining my Thursday. Oh, did you? Yeah.

Oh, that's hilarious. Can I get some avocado chips? No, you should've been like, you're ruining my Thursday. That's so funny? Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious. Can I get some avocado chips? No, you should have been like, you're ruining my Thursday. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I gotta order the avocado chips. That's the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

so she knows what's up. To her credit, she goes, yeah, I'm sorry I did that. Oh, wow. Okay, five years too late, but. No, no, whatever, bro, marriage is a long time. Yeah, fuck it. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, I got the apology. That's right. Down the road. That's cool, yeah, yeah. Well, you're obviously with a marathon, not a sprint. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, not a sprint's a marathon. I got the apology. That's right. Down the road. That's cool, yeah. Well, you're obviously with a good girl. I mean, she's cool. What I'm saying is, there's moments. Yeah, yeah, no, I know.

Wait, how new in the relationship was that? Oh, it was new. Six months. It was only six months in. You know, it could have been in two weeks. I'll tell you what. Everybody has those. Yeah, oh, for sure, certainly.

Everybody has those. Make or break moments. You have moments like that, you can look back and be like, hmm, I probably. Oh, I know, sure, certainly. Everybody has those. Make or break moments. Do you have moments like that? You can look back and be like, I probably. Oh, I know mine. Mine was when I was.

Boom. So it was. Oh yeah, see? Love it. Ooh, it got you. What was it? It was a few months in, not six months, not six months.

Like two maybe. And we were hanging out in the bed. My door opens in my House and I'm like what the fuck, you know, it's got one of those Like what I go down Chris it's a woman's voice and I go Whatever wait wait, you do go back. back. Are you in bed by yourself? Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. With Kristin. Oh, you're in bed with Kristin? Oh, you didn't say that. My bad. I said you were done. Yeah, right, right. Because I need to like, get.

I thought it was assumed because we were talking about our relationship. Oh, OK, so you're in bed with Kristin. Because I was thinking you're just asleep and a woman No, not asleep. And you're some punk bitch ass that doesn't want to fight a woman. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Some, some, a beauty. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no some some Beauty we made love. Okay, we were in the bed

What are you in a My door knob is fucking crazy. Okay, now you gotta know the code you live in Fort Knox You gotta know the code. What in Fort Knox you got to know the code what are you Tony Stark so fucking baby I got this so let's get this bitch out of here you get the nerd reference is correct so you're like like, Oh, I'm cooked. So I Chris and I go, Oh, hey, look, we just. Look, I don't just like

you. I don't know what's going on. No, I don't know what's going on. Just like you. But let me just tell you something. Either way, whatever this is, we're fucked. We're fucked beyond belief. This is gonna take so long to get over. I'll be right back.

I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. So so so so so so so I go down and it's it's my it's my ex okay it's my ex and she's my ex and I don't I I don't fuck I don't fuck with her anymore It's a nightmare! It's a nightmare! I can feel it! How long would you like, you were establishing something with Oh yeah, yeah So now it's almost like, oh yeah And she's over there with you, she's staying over

So this is like, what's going on? It's some stupid shit like that's going to ruin it all I wasn't trying to hide anything even So You're trying your best She comes up the stairs. There's stairs that, you know my house, I go down the upstairs and she's coming up the downstairs

and we're meeting in the middle and I see her and I go, and I'm like, and she fucking, smooch, and I go, hey, and she's, by the way, she's great, we were breaking up, it was just a tough time, whatever, and she says, are you with a girl right now? And I said, yeah. Remember why you broke up with me?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, I said. Yeah, it's me. I said, yeah, I am. And she goes, okay. And she. Ah! She walked back down. The freaking gaw! Yeah, she walked back down the stairs.

I fucking went over to her and I said, down the stairs? Yeah. And I said, and I was like, what was, you know, we had a thing. I was like, okay, you can't be here right now. I'm with somebody, you know, like, and then she started like getting louder, and I'm like, yeah, and then I'm like, alright, you gotta get out though, you know. And.

And. And. And. And. And. You know what I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about like, he's like, cause in your mind you're like, oh my God,

and then there's one of his gonna hear this, cause then next thing you know, she's gonna come storming down the stairs. And her's gonna, yeah, I, I, I. I. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure Kristen wasn't gonna do that because she's, it's not her nature. So I'm like, I opened the front door

and she was like not leaving. And I was like, I can't push her. I can't like, you know, this sucks. Right, so I'm like, I got this idea where I'm like, maybe if I just scream as loud as I can, she'll leave. Oh, that's insane. So I go like this, get out of my house. I'll call the police.

Like that. And it got her, bro. She left. And... And... Oh man. But what was the reason for coming? Something had happened that she was upset about and she couldn't get in touch with me. Gotcha. You know?

No, no, shit. It just got out of hand. You know, it was one of those things. Yeah. And... And you just, so you just kept your code the same. No, so so how did this happen? So She leaves I go Computer Hey, yeah, so that was my ex and she was like oh and then we sat and I took a picture of

us right when that happened and I said we're gonna look at this picture and we're gonna laugh about it later. And we do, we do. And, but it would, that was rough because. Because there's a fork in a road. Oh yeah. She was like. She could be like, this is insane dip that. Yeah.

And then there's no Calvin, there's no Billy. But yeah, it was. Isn't that crazy? That little butterfly effect. There's like a moment where you go, that's what I'm asking just a moment you get past What about you? Follow that fucking boat Chicken and bacon and my

Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. Really, it's nothing that on my end, it's always me fucking up. I'm like, I can't believe she hasn't dipped out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've fucked up so many times. Yeah, I- There's certain times, like when we first started dating, she had to have hernia surgery.

And where I come from- I left her. Dude, where I go, in my family family we're not that sentimental we don't show right right it's like handle your shit and then hit me up so I thought yeah women love that I know that Romeo yeah that's that's how I was raised this motherfucker but that's that's right he's like good good luck! Burned out! We're sorry, because I know you're not. Handle your shit, darling. But that's how I was raised.

That was a tweet. That's just the way I was raised. But she was trying to give me hints, like, hey, I'm going for surgery tomorrow. Yeah, that's tough. Where's that? And she told me, yeah, that's cool. I had work, you know? And I was like, all right, well, let me know how it goes. And then two days went by, and then I was like, it's tough. Where's that? And she told me, like, yeah, yeah, it's cool. I had work, you know? And I was like, well, let me know how it goes.

And then like two days went by and then I was like, that's where I'm hurt from. Oh wow. Yeah, but it's like, but look. You didn't even follow up how you doing? No. He wrote, he wrote back, he wrote, question mark. No, I put you up.

No, I just, you know, back then, you're talking 12, 13 years ago. I just, I was different. I was just, I was a fucking idiot. But I look back at it now, I'm like, I can't believe, like, and we were brand new, I can't believe she would like see ya. She had so many other choices to make. She should have been see ya.

It's funny, it's weird that, you know. There's a million examples like that, by the way. Yeah. She could have left a long time ago. Yeah. No, but there's like, examples like that yeah yeah yeah there's no but there's taking a lot of work I do feel like there's like a moment in your head that you just go we got past that or like you know or just like it's very significant like that we just I remember too I think taking that picture was a very like it solidified it as that moment too I have that picture and it is

a funny I'll show you guys I don't I don't think I can put it on here. But I remember like I said that weekend when we were there, like I said it was Christmas and we had this nice Christmas dinner and she was dressed up like beautiful and I got past it, you know. I just was like. Yeah, in Costa Rica, you were saying this was in Costa Rica.

Yeah, we had this beautiful dinner and then it was like, all right, you know. I was like, okay, but then I always look back on that cuz I was like you know It wasn't till she then she's like you never get sick like that so when she gets sick You know how much time I can learn I was like this is how I was feeling and you did this yeah That's cool yeah, I mean boss away when I met my wife like I was in shit. I was living like a 600 square foot apartment. I was leasing. My bed was on the ground. I didn't have a tv. Yeah. Wow. We didn't have a ton of shit so she came from that. Yeah. And I was like

really? You're in? Like you're down? That's cool man. Yeah. All right let's take a little break and dude I know you guys are looking at cards right now dude. I know you're looking for that Mahomes rookie card. I need Mahomes rookie card. You want now, dude. I know you're looking for that. My home's rookie car. I need my home's rookie car. You want that Luka rookie dude. And for most of us that like collecting cars, the idea of spending two grand and more on a card is crazy. Ah, it's nuts.

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One day Rachel comes to me and she says she goes. Hey, I just want to apologize For the way, I've been talking to you. I realize it's something. Oh man, you got sore after that? That's nice as fuck. Check. All right, all right, all right. She says, I realize,

cause I've been listening to this audio book. Of course. It's a communication book and I, and I send it to the group. And she was like, and I'm hearing in this communication book the things that I'm doing that's causing issues in our relationship. Wow, it's really amazing. Growth. And I was like, first of all, I thought it was about love. Growth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah causing issues in our relationship. Wow, it's really many.

Growth. First of all, I thought it was about love. Growth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's okay. Then she goes like this though. She says, do you wanna listen to it with me? And I go, yeah.

Oh, I don't know. Here's where I fucked up. Because we're listening. I'm going like, the person's talking and I'm like this. You're roasting him. Ah! Did you date this dude? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you fucked up. I'm like, oh my Yeah, you fucked up. I'm like, oh my god, he riding a boxed suit. He's talking about you right now. And then she goes like this, turn it off. That's funny. In the moment I was like, oh, did you date this guy? He's fucked up.

I was like, oh, I was so mad at myself. Just take the win. I had the W. But you can't help it. It's the way you're wired. As a man and as a comedian. You can, you can. As a comic, that's what was funny about it. So my message to all you guys out there,

don't be a sore winner. Don't be a sore winner, yeah. Don't be a sore winner. Because if you get any type of acknowledgement that they're wrong, that's like. Don't rub it in their face. Don't have a piranha moment. Don't you have, Eric's a little older

and he has his shit together, but do you have certain things, especially now, you have to work with your kids? Like even my son had something, like he was sick and he was crying, I'm like, all right, get over it. Right, right, right. I was like, you can't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, you know what's funny is. You gotta be more compassionate. Do you remember stuff from your childhood that had no business sticking with you, but it did stick with you? Yep. Which means it hurt you.

Yeah, but, and it's not even like, it could be totally like, oh, they took the NutriGrain bar from me and I remember that, what they said. It's like weird shit, right? I think I did one to Calvin the other day. And I was like whoops I may have like inadvertently just set up a monster. So we're in the school. I take him out. He's running around with his buddy and then He's running around with his buddy and then he get we get in the car and he says man

RJ is so much faster than me and I said, oh, yeah. He said yeah, and I'm fast I said, yeah, he said I said well, that's okay if someone's faster than you man. And he said why and I said Cuz then you could make him go get shit for you. And I was like, Oh no. I just made him so lazy with that one thing. Or he's gonna be a warlord. He's gonna be a warlord. Dude, a fucking dictator. Seize him, get it, get me. He's become Joffrey.

Oh no, there was a long walk back to my other side of the car. I go, Oh my God. And then I sat down and I was like, also dude, it's good because you could just practice and stuff and then who knows you got something to beat and then I was like I'm too late too late no no you're downloading I'm gonna make RJ get shit is RJ but maybe you could also be like RJ's just is RJ no why he's white yeah he's he's fast your kid's slow no no no

he's he's fast and bigger he's like, you know could be that yeah, but there's certain things that like even with my kiddos like I like any material stuff I'm like doesn't matter do all this stuff. It does not matter Because I'm trying to tell them it material stuff will not make you happy It's about hard work all that so whenever something like he dinged my car or whatever. I don't get upset I'm right, right just material. She doesn't right right, right, he dinged my car or whatever. I don't get upset. I'm like, right, right. Just material. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. That's the message. Yeah. But then like he'll forget his backpack or shoes, something like that. And his grandpa, I came in like your dad works really hard before that stuff.

He goes, it doesn't matter. Like, no, that's funny. Wrong message. He's like, doesn't matter. My dad would give me another one. It's like, no, no, you gotta appreciate this. But that's like, that's funny like, that's just kid math. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no nuance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does it, I know.

But you know, I saw a great video, cause you just reminded me of something that I remember what my mom did for me when I was a kid. I remember being someplace, like you ever go to like, remember going to your friend's house and then there was a moment you didn't wanna be there anymore? No, the worst. And you didn't know how to like,

so I can remember my mom. There's no cells. But my mom knew, I got on the phone and my mom was listening to me, she said, you want me to come pick you up? Without you saying a word. Without me saying a word, and I was like, yeah. Aw.

But I saw a video about this, and the lady was saying, you know what you should do is you should have a code word with your kids. So they could just say that. I'm begging to know, you're like, cinnamon! You're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Why are you talking about cinnamon? But either way, and I was like,

oh, those are like the little, the little thing. But like you said, things you remember. I remember that, I always remember that. It's like, I was like, that was a defining moment that I was like, oh, my mom knows me. You're weird, right? But that's dope. That's a good one.

That's a good one. It's like, if it's that movie Inside Out, they have those core, I was seeing those core memories, like those glowing balls. That's one of them. I remember another time. It's weird how that stuff sticks. But I remember another time. I was seeing those core memories like those glowing balls. Yeah, that's one of them Yeah, I remember that another stuff stuff. I remember another time. I think about that stuff all the time Me too all the time, but then I then there's certain shit. I can't remember. I know it's important I know were you guys spanked? Yes

One or two times see my mom's from Central America She put our music to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, see my mom's from Central America. My mom was from Belize. Oh, she put on music to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, yeah. Ba da dee ha. My mom used to make me go to the backyard and get something. Yeah, that's great. You got the switch, yeah.

But I remember this too though. I remember when it stopped, because I remember once I remember that the tree was gone. You know what I mean? Oh, you told me this, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was another thing too, is in our apartment we had, there was like a long hall, two long hallways. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

It was like a door that you could you could go like this. Uh-huh. Yeah, I remember I was running from my mom Oh, yeah, that's hilarious. She's trying to hit me, you know, she's trying to get me I'm running and I remember I was running and then I'm starting to laugh. She's started She started to laugh and we were just running and then I was was like, and we just, she didn't hit me. It was one of the first moments I knew the power of laughter. It was one of the first moments where I was like, oh wow, you can really. You know what mine was?

One of the first moments I learned like wow, making people laugh is like powerful. I was at the, it was my family, my dad, my mom, my brother and I, and I was in the back seat, obviously with my brother and my mom and dad up there, and we were at a red light, and I started making a joke about a cereal commercial that we saw, and my dad was laughing,

and he started laughing so hard that he was like doubling over and laughing, and I made him laugh so hard that the light turned green and he didn't go And he kept laughing and it turned back to red and I was like wow I made him laugh So much that he missed the green light and I was like that's crazy. You can do that I know it's like a it that's like an evil origin story You know, that's your Batman story right there And now that was I think for me, but I also remember the time when my mom stopped spanking me.

Stopped trying to hit me. I remember I was like 16. You know? Yeah, my mom was like, she was really scared to get me. Good, good, that's how she should do it. But that's how she came from a, don't stop when I'm nine, when I grow up. But I remember it because she was hitting me

and I was like, ow. You know? I'm getting a Taser, boy. Yeah, she was like, you know I said, I grabbed my mom by the shoulders, and I said, mom, sit down, and let's talk about this. Really? Yeah.

Wow. I was like, boom, sit down, okay? Like, I'm 16. Yeah, it's like, what are we doing? This doesn't hurt. You know, I said, yeah, we're not gonna do that anymore. Okay, like, what did I do? You know, you have a moment where you like,

that was a moment where I realized I was like, oh, I gotta stop messing up because I can't challenge the discipline anymore because this is not the gonna be the, I gotta do better. I just remember thinking that. I gotta do better right now. Christ.

I remember my mom, because my brother used to get in trouble and he used to get hit way more than me. And I remember my mom sitting on a bed's getting trouble and he's getting hit way more than me. And I remember my mom sitting on a bed, my brother must have been like 10, she's sitting on the bed crying because she's like, I don't know what to do. I hit him as hard as I can and he laughs.

He laughs. I'm like, fuck, what a savage. Yeah, she was like, I don't know what to do. Like he's not scared anymore. I know, but that's the, but you know, I don't know. They do these he's not scared anymore. I know, but that's the, I don't know, they do these things because, I used to call it, my mom used to call it the dry the spoons mood. That meant, we didn't have a dishwasher,

okay, so you wash the dishes and you put them in this thing, you let them dry and you put them away later. When my mom was mad at me, she would make me dry the dishes. Yeah. Oh, right. So that's why I used to call it, oh, she's in the dry the spoons mood. Oh, wow. Because she would say that, come dry the spoons! Oh, wow. Yeah. So I to call that, oh she's in the dry the spoons mood. She would say that, come dry the spoons.

So I'd be like, oh man, she's in a mood. But I was the only child, dude. I used to have to come up with stuff, man. But isn't it weird, like if you grew up different, like you're in a completely different trajectory. Like completely different. Like I think why sports was so valued, that was my only worth as a kid

because I went to predominantly black school. And when you're in grade school, the only way that I could separate myself was being good at sports. Like that was the sole goal. Like to be the first pick in whatever sport it was. Like, oh, I got Schaub, no, he's a beast. So when they're like, oh, I got Schaub,

I was like, oh shit, and then that's where my value came in. It's like if I didn't grow up in that area, who knows? I learned from sports, I learned that when people challenge you or tell you that you can't do something, I learned that you have the opportunity to prove that you can. And I took that into my life.

So it was like trying to make the basketball, I never played basketball, it wasn't know? So I was trying to make the basketball team. I never played basketball. It wasn't a thing until I was like a sophomore. You know, and I was like, oh, I like this. And then the coaches telling me, yeah, well, you're not good. And I was like, oh, okay. Oh, really, huh? I seriously, I remember.

People go like this to me, you're not gonna go, okay. No, not me. I'll try something else. I remember telling my mom, I said, I'm gonna go. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I said to my mom, I said, I gotta go to, you gotta send, I'm kidding. I said to my mom, I said, you gotta send me to basketball camp. She was like, what?

She loved it. She was like, good. You know what I mean? So I went to basketball camp. That's when I realized I wasn't tall. I'm gonna have to get somebody to dry the spoons though. I realized I wasn't tall when I went to basketball camp. Oh yeah.

Even at 6'3". I wasn't tall. Wow. Because I went to big man camp. You know, because I went to a small high school, so I was tall at 6'3". I was like, I'm going to big man camp. I mean, that's fucking tall. And I was in big man camp. Because I went to a small high school, so I was tall at 6'3", I was like, I'm going to big man camp. And I was in big man camp like this.

What? Wow. She went to regular camp. Dude, dude, dude, you're false. You know what I'm saying? You're an egg. And so, but I remember like achieving that. I remember like becoming,

I remember at that time you could get your name in the paper if you scored 20 points in a game. I remember scoring 20 points in the game and then the coach is coming down the line talking about, all right, the next team knows who our best players are. He said two players and he stopped at me and he's just like, he went, you know,

and I was sitting there looking like this. Say something. Say it. Go ahead, say it. I just wanted him to say it. Say it, you know? Did he say it? Yeah, he was like, and Eric.

He said it just like that. And Eric. And Eric. I could have quit. Yeah, yeah. Hey, here's my thing though. Do you think you loved basketball or did you just like Eric and Eric I could have quit. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, here's my thing Do you think do you think you loved the basketball or did you just like the attention? That's both That's what I can't with with Tiger

He's gifted at baseball and then sometimes like I wonder if he actually loves baseball Or if he loves the attention because he's good at it to completely different But you know kids are weird like that because like even if they're great at something if they don't love it Because I see actor kids like that, you know kids are weird like that because like even if they're great at something if they don't love it because I see Actor kids like that you know yeah, I did this commercial in these like a type personality kids, and they're taught I hear I'm talking you know yeah, I was a janitor in this commercial and they were like hey janitor Jim You know these oh yeah some kids, but they were like talking about her one kid talking It was like yeah, they wanted me to do this pilot I was like I don't know if I want to do that and blah blah blah

I was like like eight yeah Yeah, nine ten years old like you pilot. I was just like, I don't know if I wanna do that and blah, blah, blah, and I was just thinking. And they're like eight? Yeah, yeah, nine, 10 years old, like you know what I mean? And I was like, this is bananas. Yeah, bananas. But it's like, but you know, some people. They might not love it. Yeah, they might not love it, you know what I mean?

But it's like, but it's a bonding thing. Because see, the thing is like that I don't have, and I say this all the time, is like, what Wolf is experiencing with me, every moment he has is a moment I never had. Because when I was playing basketball, I'm playing basketball, my mom didn't even go to the games because she was working, right?

So I'm seeing the dads in the crowd, come on, you know, you got it. And then all these dads would be getting on me, you know? Come on, Eric, you know, like that. And I'd be like, damn, where's my dad? This deadbeat is gone someplace. Because if there's a dad there, like, is Deadbeat is gone someplace? You know what I'm saying?

Because if there's a dad there, they ain't doing it. They ain't doing it. No. But that's why. Like someone yells at Tiger, I'm like. I know, but this is what I'm saying. So I don't got nobody advocating for me, so everything's my fault.

Yeah, it sucks. So that's, but this validation you're talking about is I know exactly what you're saying because there was a moment, I remember, I'm posting this kid up, and there was was, my buddy's out here with the ball, and all the dads are on the stands, and I'm holding this kid like this, and this is what I said, and it was a quiet gym.

Give me the ball and I'm this fool, right? And then, I swear to God, I said that. All the dads were like this. Yeah, Eric, that's what we're talking about. And it filled me with something that I was like, oh, I'm lacking this in my life. Don't you ever have that within you?

You knew it then, you knew it then? Yeah. I knew it in that moment, I was like, oh, this is what it is. That's interesting. But don't you, with stand-up, you've been doing it so long, but when I was in Chicago, the last show I ever did, I was like, am I doing this because I love doing it?

It's taking me away from the family, I'm on the road. Or am I doing it because the attention I get from the crowd and the approval and this congratulations and all that shit, am I doing it for that? Or why am I doing it? I struggle with it. What we're talking about. Because that's the thing too,

is like when I made my mom laugh when we were running, when you're in the car with your dad doing that, and you say, I could do that to my dad. And then when you're standing on stage, and there are like 500 people, or in my case sometimes 75, you know what I mean? And just before you do it, I just eight-miled myself. So before you like-

There's more than 500 when I do it, but yeah. He still found a way. He still found a way. He still found a way. But there's something about that these people don't know each other. They're from different economic backgrounds, different races, different social upbringings, whatever it is, and they're agreeing with you.

There is nothing like that. It's dope, I agree. There's nothing like that. It's dope, I agree. Nothing like it. It's dope. Yeah. And so that's why when I, and I know that that's why, I know that I got into the entertainment business. I know that I became a comic for that validation.

But let me ask you this, Eric. Let's say, like you love directing, you're really good at directing. Let's say a movie studio came out as a K-Man. We need you for the next six years. Here's whatever, it's eight movies, you're gonna be direct this, you're not gonna be going on the road.

Do you love stand-up so much where you would do that? I'm on a stage in my life right now where I've done the things that I wanted to do, I've achieved, I'm way more secure in who I am and all that, so I would definitely do the next phase, the challenge. I wanna take the next challenge. I've already, in my mind, I've conquered that part of it.

In terms of being on stage, being funny. You've had your 10,000 hours. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm done with that, so now I wanna go on to the next thing. But you know, like, you're different. There's guys like Attell, where if you're like, hey man, we'll give you this $100 million deal,

and you're in Hollywood, he'd be like, get the, no, I have fun if I'm on stage. Like there's certain guys that are like that. I remember Patrice O'Neal talking about how, remember he was on The Office? Yes. No. Yeah, he was on The Office.

Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, he was like in the, for a little while, and I remember hearing him talk about it, just being like, man, I don't, this 15 grand a week was like, what's that? You know, he wanted to do his own thing. You know, he was like, and I was like, I looked back on that, I was like, what's that? You know, he wanted to do his own thing. You know, he was like, and I was like, I looked back on that, I was like, that's a very,

that's a head of the game mentality for me. I'll tell you who was the head of the game was Theo. When I first started and then Tiger was just born, he was like, how long you gonna do it, man? He was like, you don't have to, you're not like the rest of us, you don't have to do it. He's like, how long you gonna do it? How long you gonna be out on the road doing all this stuff? He's like, think about't have to you're not like the rest of us. You don't have to do it He's like how long you do it how long you be out in the road doing all this stuff

He's like think about him. How long he's a I started when I was younger, dude He's like how long you can do it. I was like at the time I was like what I hate her But he but he knew like what it takes I think about the oh sometimes like not even just Theo but like guys who are successful that are that are single that don't have kids and like comics. And then like how, what, cause I know Theo wants to have a family,

at least that's what he says and stuff. So I'm like, what is, if I imagine myself single now at 44 and with no kids and I'm still doing standup, it just seems so foreign to me. Well, my question would be for any of them, why are you doing it? Because I just can't, again, not everyone's meant to be a dad, but I can't imagine being 41 without kids.

I don't know what I would do. I've always wanted kids, though. I've always wanted them. But your life can't be just being on a plane all time, doing the road, and doing all this stuff. But there are guys who do it. Yeah, I just wonder. Yeah.

That can't be the way your movie ends though. That can't be the reason you were put on Earth. I know, but wait, hold on a second. We're talking from a very place of entitlement a little bit. Because there are people, you could say that to somebody that's working at a UPS store and this is their job. But I'm talking about that. Or somebody.

I'm talking about comedians. What do you mean? No, no, no, no. What I'm saying is like anybody that has a job, at a certain point, maybe you loved your job or you liked this career, but there's a certain point where your life is funded by the thing that you do. So what I'm saying is like,

that's the reason why a lot of people are still doing what they do with kids or without kids. But you're talking about, I'm talking about people in entertainment. Yeah, I'm talking about- Cause there's some comics I know who that through other avenues they could stop touring and wouldn't matter. Well, I'm talking about successful comedians.

Yeah, but even successful- I'm not talking about Theo here either, but- No, no, no, but even someone like Kevin Hart talks about how hard it is to sell tickets. Yeah, sure. So what I'm saying is, I think that there's still, at any level, there's some setbacks and there's some like-

Of course. So I think that if we're talking about just stand-up comedy, I don't think that you could just rest on your laurels. I think that it's just kinda like, you still have to keep going. So it's either you're gonna be like, I don't wanna do comedy anymore, or you're like, okay, I'm gonna scale back

and now I'm only gonna do like, somebody like Tim Allen or Ray Romano says, yeah, he does stand-up by four times a year. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, because he has a lecture to do some of some bigger comics have a big podcast where they could just do that It'd be perfectly fine. It depends on like what your upbringing and stuff like that. Some people grew up dirt poor Yeah, and you're gonna feel like I'm gonna lose all this. Yep, and I think that drives a lot of common Oh, it's very most common. You know most people most people

Most comments. Most comments. I say most people. Most people. You think like, is this ever gonna go away? And at the same time too though, you also have, you made it to the highest level you can make it, and it's like, milk it. Like you know, if you're doing arenas and stuff like that,

I mean yeah. That's not gonna last forever, no matter who you are. I know, and the fact that it's not gonna last forever is why you keep going. Good point. That's the reason why people keep going, because they know it's not gonna last forever is why you keep going. That's the reason why people keep going because they know it's not gonna last forever. So, you know.

I guess my thing is like when I see The Rock, when he has 40 feature movies, I'm like, go home, bro. Yeah, that to me is just odd. No, no, but just like a professional athlete, they stay longer than they should. I think someone who's been like an A-list superstar has the same feeling. You know, at a certain point, Rock still thinks, I remember Will Smith, he was on Jimmy Kim,

one of those things right after After Earth came out. And it was the first movie that was not number one for him. And he was saying it. He was on the couch being like, this was hard. This is like, I'm usually, I'm the blockbuster guy. A movie comes out, it goes number one, it makes this amount of money, and that was the first time it stopped.

So at that point, you look at him, he found ways to pivot in different ways. He doesn't come out with as many movies, he went on Instagram and social media. So I think that people, they pivot, but I think that when you talk about the most successful people, you're saying that when you talk about the most successful people They you're saying it because they are currently the most successful

But I saw those people that most successful especially like big comics it's almost like yeah keep doing that for a few years because the You guys know everyone here knows the the amount of energy and effort it takes to function at that level You also never know what you don't have too much time for anything else. You also never, and you never know what happens with the business too. Like, I mean, dude, I was like thinking I have another hour to do. I could do a special, but I'm like, do I even want to do that? The people don't want to hours these days. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, people will watch it. Sure. If you put it up, but like, what they do, like, no, I know it's like, well, why though? I, you know, I don if you put it up. But like, no, I know, it's like, well, why though? I don't know, everything changes so much. Well, that's what I'm saying, the business changes, but the thing that doesn't change is getting in front of the people

that support you. That's the thing. So I think if you make it specifically about that, we're like, hey, I wanna continue to tour because of whatever. But it's the same thing with a movie star. If The Rock gets some big movie and they're like, yeah Well, you got to go to Australia for seven months, but then what's with someone like that then they change the stakes

You know, I hear stories about the Rock where he's like he shows up eight hours late to say I like you know that kind of stuff where you just go like maybe he doesn't really want to do it You know what I mean? Well at that point when you're that big Everyone just kind of is there like the movie is only getting made because of him right But at that point no no no no I'm not I'm not excusing that but yes Yeah, I leave it. Yeah, but it's like but how much leeway? I mean that's when you're using your leeway. Do you really want to do it? Right that's the that's the side right? Yeah, you're passionate about it. Yeah Yeah, there's no way at a certain point you just passionate about because your accountant say yeah

They put the 25 million in the bank, and then you're sitting there like man, dude. I have this buddy Baseball dad he's a creative dude and has a he owns his own business Yeah, and when his son started baseball because his dad he didn't have a dad. He's like, I don't miss anything Yeah, he just stopped working. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like what is it good? They went to debt and everything He's like totally worth it. That's awesome. Yeah. He's fine now, he's picked back up.

He's like, yeah, for the first year, I didn't want to miss a thing. Yeah, I get it, man. I'm like, damn, yeah, I 100% get it. But you know what, okay, so let me check this out. Follow this math with me. So you're like, we're comics, you know, or entertainment business, right?

So especially for comics, though, like, people say like, what do you feel about being on the road? Okay, so like for you know, entertainment business, right? So especially for comic though, like, people say like, what do you feel about being on the road? Okay, so like for you now, the way you do comedy, you might go to like a place, so say you leave on a Friday, or you leave day of. Right, so let's say you're gone for a complete 48 hours, add another 12 hours to that, let's say you're gone 60 hours. I go to Sudbury, Toronto,

and also North Bay this weekend. Okay, so let's say you're going for a total of 60 hours. Yeah. And people are like, oh, how can you be away from your kid? But here's what I say, if you're a regular dude working a regular job, you have to leave your house at 5 a.m. and you're not going home until 5 a.m. and that's what I talk about. Kids have maybe 2 hours. You're gone for the exact amount of time. Yeah or less. But for you when you're home you're home. I'm home bro yeah exactly. So I know I say this to Kristen when she's like I wish you weren't gone so much I'm like you know it's like I'm gone probably the same amount of time.

Yeah. It's definitely tougher. You just gone during the weekends when the kids don't have school. Important shit. Like Rachel's just sick. I'm not like, I wish I could be, you know. But that's why I moved to San Jacinto

because her mom's out there. But my thing is this though, when they talk like that, they say you're always, you're gone. You just go like, yeah, I'm gone, but I am gonna be back. And I get to be back for a long time. And also, you got a nice place to I know I know I know I got a Self-admissions about I didn't do the road

This one of our arguments in the beginning I'd be like yeah, you know you should get with a mechanic Yeah, or somebody that you know they have a 95 They can come home and be with you all the time. It's gonna be great But if you want to go to Nobu on Wednesday for no reason and be dripping in diamonds, guess what I gotta go. Drip in diamonds? You know what I mean? Guess what I gotta go do.

Drip in diamonds. Yeah, daddy has to go to Cleveland. Guess what I gotta go to Albuquerque. Yeah, 100%. I gotta rent a car. I gotta fly into a bullshit airport, rent a car, drive three hours, so I can get that dumb check from that college.

And get those motherfucking diamonds. Yeah. But also. It's like $600, that air one. But there's like a narrative, don't get me wrong, the road can be tough, but it's also some of the best memories I've ever had. Well no, the thing is.

I had a fucking great time. Look, I don't want, look. I've had some tough times. Do I wanna go to, do I wanna, so, I don't know, it's like this, so I have North Bay, then I have Sudbury, then I have Toronto, now I've never been to North Bay then I have Sudbury then I have Toronto now I've never been to North Bay. I've never been to Sudbury. I know exactly right so I know Toronto will be great because I've been there I love playing Toronto, but like I

I'm do I want to go do like if you ask me now Do you want to go do this this weekend? So I haven't been on the road for three weeks. So I kind of do. But I think, yes. But if I start going every weekend or every other weekend, I'm just like, I just want to be home with my family. I don't want to be out. I'd rather not do it, but I have to.

But it's also good for your kids to see you have to go do shit like that. You know know for them It's like oh dad works and they but they have no frame of reference. No, not yet Yeah, it's almost like you have to like it's almost like you have to like rent a one-bedroom apartment Yeah, yeah, just just a half right right so you can be like, hey guys. Yeah, this is how it would be We're gonna go to this. Yeah, right and they like what's this? You can be like well what this is? Yeah, dad to work if daddy don't work.

Yeah, look at that, look at that. That's so cute. The Halloween, aw. He's Gaston. So, no! We should just keep trading. He's Gaston, no, what's that? What were you, where were you?

So he was, we were Minecraft. Oh, that's right. And Kristen made those costumes because bro, here's the thing. That's the best though. Nobody else has them. I was envision Kristen just got like a belt and she just walked around the house, oh I got that.

Dude, this shit's all over the floor until it's done. And then, but god damn that's so cute. But then, so she's like, I'll make the costume. Here's the thing, he's like, I wanna be Minecraft. Calvin, you know Billy, he here's the thing he's like I want to be Minecraft Calvin you know Billy he's one but Calvin's like I want to be Minecraft and we're like well who you want to be for Minecraft he's like Steve Steve I'm like awesome we lucked out get a blue shirt purple pants we're done work right she says nah I'm gonna make it look pixely and blocky dude she did this it took two days full days of sewing driving back and forth to Michael's

who I think actually is the guy she's having an affair with. But just getting the fabric, making the, I can't believe how she, did she kill him? Did she sew him naked? There's nothing better. Cause when you go out and there's gonna be a million kids dressed like Basti was or whatever,

but your mom's making your shit and it's good, bro. Remember, that's where the French robot came from. I had another one of those moments. Remember I had the moment where I was taking the trash out? I was like, this is my trash. I had a moment like that at Halloween too because the kids knocked on the door. It's dope.

And I opened the door and there was just like 10 kids standing in front of the thing. And I had the candy. That's cute. That's cute. And I had that moment where I was like, back up, God damn it, stop grabbing the head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Back up. One at a time, God damn it. They're savages. This was Calvin's first, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Heck, oh! One at a time, god damn it! Calvin. They're savages. This was Calvin's like first, I mean three you kinda know what's going on, but four years old you're like, you're in it. You're Halloween and you're in it.

He knows what's going on. We went to like seven houses and he was like, I wanna eat this candy. And I was like, all right, well yeah, trick or treat until we get home. We gotta wait, we'll get home, we'll eat this candy. And I was like, all right, we'll trick or treat until we get home, we gotta wait, we'll get home, we'll eat the candy. And he was like, let's go.

And I was like, you don't wanna get more candy? And he was like, no, I wanna eat this right now. He had seven pieces of candy. We went home, we were out for an hour, we went home, and he was just like, give me that, he ate that one, he ate that one. It was so, it was so. Dude, it was so funny, man. There was one kid that just like, give me that, he ate that one. He ate that one, it was so, it was so. That's the kid that knows what he wants. Dude, it was so funny, man.

There was one kid that was like, there's one kid that was like, yeah, um, I don't want that one, can I have that one over there? You know, and that told me like, this is a kid who's being parented well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know what I'm saying? And then there's the other kid who was just kind of like,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Box it out. Elbow in there, just like, box it out. Get, get, get out of the way. John Wick. Yeah. Is that epic? That's it.

Damn, that one went fast. We got real. That was a good episode, but it was also hilarious in the beginning, and then we started talking about really interesting stuff. Yeah, that was, I think, probably one of our more interesting episodes in a long time.

I'm gonna be someplace. Where am I gonna be? I'm gonna be in Toronto and North Bay and Sudbury. Those might be sold out, I don't know, but go to Chris Lee. Oh yeah, Bismarck I'm gonna be someplace. Where am I gonna be? I'm gonna be in Toronto and North Bay and Sudbury. Those might be sold out, I don't know, but go to Chris Lee. Oh yeah, Bismarck I'm gonna be in. I'll do it next week. I'll be in, when's this come out Nick, Thursday? Yep.

So tonight, well tomorrow I'm in Vegas at SEMA with my Dark Horse Mustang. Drive fast, all gas. We're at the Magnuson booth. Come say what's up. I'm there from 11 to 1. Come check out the car. Say what's up. So at SEMA in Vegas. Drive Fast All Gas. Buy a shirt, hoodie, hat. Don't cough during the promo. Hoodie, hat, and you can win the car. drivefastallgas.com. Hell yeah. All brakes, no brakes. That doesn't make sense, dude. They're going to let us get leather jackets? I'm getting a leather jacket.

You're back on there? All right, we're out. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same. And I love that a leather jacket. You're back on there? Alright, we're out. I love reality TV on Pluto TV. Same, and I love that it's free. It gives me the freedom to watch Bravo's Real Housewives' Vault Channel. I'm totally free to watch Bad Girls Club. I'm free for Jersey Shore. Love and hip hop, I'm free all day. Survivor, I'm free all night.

With hundreds of free reality shows, you are totally free to watch what you love on Pluto TV. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. Pure exploitation, ineptly made, and completely repulsive. Hi, I'm Bobcat Goldthwait. And I'm Sean McKittrick. And Zero Stars is our podcast where we look at our bad reviews and the bad reviews of anybody

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