The Golden Hour - Episode 1: Pilot

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

King it or Sting it? Debate club and more, enjoy! Episode 1 of King and the Sting is here! Happy holidays!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ah yeah, it's the bee sting king and the rat king. Rat king. To the strap, baby, come get it. Oh, we're on? Oh, we we up? Damn, can I get a something like that? Yeah, give us that chop chop, huh? Three.

Wow. From Wayne's World, bro. Is it really? Yeah. Wayne's World, wow. I think I was one years old. Nah, you were in Wayne's World, bro. Uh-uh.

You weren't? No, I wasn't. Fool me. Dude, we had a guy actually by us, this kid named Wayne King, right? And he couldn't read. Wayne King? I don't know if he could read, but if he could read, he wasn't admitting it. Sure.

And he used to, when he couldn't express himself, they had a wooden fence, like this huge long wooden fence behind the apartment. Standard. He'd run right fucking through it, dude. Damn. To get his point across. Damn. Like if he was real serious. And he made a point, though.

100%. Yeah. Like if you knew what was going on with him. Did he get all the chicks? No no no he I never saw him with a shirt on and I and he was jacked or he had titties he was jacked up like something was he he had I guess he had titties kind of his father was a bus driver his father never wore a shirt milford king was his father has the bus driver yeah damn that's frowned upon bro that's when you got some new orleans shit that's not frowned upon depends on where you're at apparently you grew up in the shirt

belt where everybody has shirts dude yeah man if you're driving kids you gotta have your clothes on bro speaking of shirts you're also wearing a large from uh disneyland me bro children's law you look like a college kid i mean you got blue one that was given to you got a purple fucking skinny sweats on these are plum those are purple bro these aren't purple dude these are you look like you're transitioning and ran out of money you look like you look like a russian spy who transitioning, but they don't know exactly how it works in fucking America. So they give us this. You're not fooling anyone, bro.

What are you talking about? What are you? Dick or pussy. Dick or pussy. King of thing. Dude, you look like. I love hummus. Hummus.

Hummus is Middle Eastern, you idiot. I know. You're the shittiest Russian spy ever. You're a shitty transitioning Russian spy, bro. Dude, no doubt you look like every gay dude that's about to teach a dance lesson on television. That's exactly what you look like right now. I'll take that, bro. They all wear exactly that, dude.

And you got that blood gold watch, dude. How many brothers, how many black men and probably black children had to die so you could have that watch? I don't know, man. I don't know, bro. Wow, very sad. Blood diamonds, bro. Dude, if you put it up to my ear, I bet I can hear the Mayflower coming over with a bunch of straight up. It's too damn, bro.

I'm just saying, dude. You going that direction? I wouldn't wear that kind of stuff, man. No, it's not for you, bro. It's not for your kind. Yeah. And that's being cool. That's being cool.

Okay. Should we kick this off or what, man? Yeah, man. It's not for your kind Yeah Then that's being That's being cool That's being cool Okay Should we kick this off Or what man Yeah man It's being kicked It's being kicked Yeah You lead it man

You're going to the Sprankle Tell them about the Sprankle To serve people You talking about the Sprackles Yeah You talking about the Sprackles Yeah dude first of all You talking about Sprackles

Don't say I'm performing At Sprackles Theater The Sprackles Theater The Sprackles Theater Whatever dude You know who the Spreckles were? No. First of all, family of dwarfs that grew fruit actually near Santa Ana.

That makes sense. So beautiful. Like tangerines and stuff? All right. I don't have a problem with that. And dude, what made them so beautiful is they had to all stack up and do like a human pyramid to pick an orange. Yeah. So it's teamwork.

So really the definition of teamwork, actually. Yeah. And speaking of teamwork, I'm going to be at Spreckles Theater, bro. But alone. But you're performing by yourself, right? By myself. Yeah. Yeah.

No, there's no. That first one hour special. Yeah, man. What's it called? Do you know? You'd Be Surprised. Wow. You'd Be Surprised, huh?

You know what that's off of? Uh-uh. It's a play from when I started doing stand-up, when Joe Rogan goes, he gave me that talk. And then I said, i think you'd be surprised because we're talking about fighting when you're quitting fighting yep oh wow from that and he said you think i think you yeah i said i think you'd be surprised wow that's the name of the special you'd be surprised i like it man thanks doug well you're gonna be in irvine that night huh you're gonna be in irvine yeah i'll be in irvine all that weekend so and the

speckles is almost sold out isn't't it? Yeah. Close. Super close. So, unless you want to stand outside in the cold, it's going to be colder over there. You'd be surprised. You can still get a ticket to see me in Irvine. You'd be surprised. You can still see Theo in Irvine. So, dang, I didn't even know. Irvine's dope, though.

Huh? Irvine's dope. Oh, it's going to be good, man. It's going to be fun. Have you done Brea yet? Yeah, I've done Brea. Since they redid it? I love Brea.

Since they redid it, though? Oh, yeah. I mean, I've done Brea. I'm just yet yeah they redid it i love brea since they redid it though oh yeah i mean i've done brea i'm just saying they redid it yeah it's supposed to be right up there with irvine now huge it's bigger than irvine really yeah dude um you know who hit me up actually bisping hit me up and said he's gonna come out to irvine oh nice that'd be pretty cool he lives in orange county yeah he lives down there yeah you see that video of him and his son on instagram him driving with his son on his lap no i didn't see it it's pretty cool man yeah he's like a cool father son moment um yeah he's a good dude all right well let's get into this dude the long-awaited this is the first trial episode we want to get you guys's feedback and get into this right work out the kinks figure it out king or sting it baby dude

i'll sting those socks bro do you see those yeah what's up what's up bro they feel like they go with your outfit man dude how many fraggles had to die so you could fucking have a little bit of soft how many muppet babies had to die to make this thing dude dang covering up your miss piggies bro what's up bro all right let's king or sting it what we got first man let's king or sting it how does this work nick tell us in we're gonna pop some videos that were all listeners submitted and uh they're giving you some topics and you guys want to do king or sting it first you said yes sir so if we like it we're gonna king it if we don't like it we're gonna sting it wow i can't slip one by this fucking

cavalier cat you gotta let the audience know bro not everyone and i gotta let you know that haircut doesn't exactly scream i got a degree bro let me see your hair right now what's up bro what's up bro oh my god i'll have a second scoop of uh yams please all right okay all right this is child's okay definitely that is cafeteria grade hair right there cafeteria lady haircut that piccadilly bro go here's the first one from Breasty Jeff. What's up, fellas? Theo. Oh, I know this guy. It's Breasty Jeff.

What up, brother? What's up, man? 27-year-old male. I drive that truck right there. And I'm trying to rock this. And I got the tuxedo. The Canadian tuxedo going on. Texas tuxedo.

I wanted to king it or sting it uh anal pleasures oh wow uh with your tongue what you guys think wow you guys couldn't start off with something coming out hot bro he looks like a dude who's into ass play though isn't he i mean he definitely you don't grow that that that tail out if you're not you know you don't wear a full jay leno outfit without licking ass yeah without buying a bunch of expensive cars you know what i'm saying i think he's lying saying he's 27 but that's for another day it's definitely if he's 27 i'm 22 i know breasty jeff he uh well they call him breasty jeff he has breasts he got woman's breasts it's called gynoplasty and he got woman's breasts. It's called gynoplasty. And he has woman's breasts on a man's cage. Hold up. Is it from...

Did he do a bunch of steroids and he has gyno and then got the breasts removed? Or did he put in implants because he's transitioning? I don't know. Do you know anything more about it? I think he's got that gynoclomastia, but I don't think it was from steroids. He's had it since he was a child. Oh, yeah. That can be a case, too. If you let another kid suck on your tits, too,

when you're young it can make it happen yeah if they do it like multiple times a week i've seen that but it makes your body think that you're gonna have to support a kid but um anyway ass yeah so anal pleasures with your tongue got it it's for me it's case by case man you gotta be fresh out the shower bro yeah i mean you have to be fresh out of a you almost have to be come out of a fire and they hosed you down really really good right in front of me with like that crisp garden hose water you know what i'm saying like you can't be that detroit water i need that fresh shit yeah i need that evian and i'll have a little bit of bud i'll have you know i'm not having a lot

no it's not my thing if i'm eating ass i'm not having a lot no it's not my thing like you know i'm having a small side you know what i'm saying it i'm not having a lot no it's not my thing like you know i'm having a small side you know what i'm saying it's my cranberry dressing if it's thanksgiving dinner you know i'll have a little you know i'll have a teaspoon i ain't having half a cup some down there having half a cup or a little quart some dudes are all ass really yeah yeah i had a girl one time pin my legs back like a baby and just go straight for the bunny hole disgusted me really dude that's like that's like that kid in your like when you have a friend come over and they won't stop looking for your christmas gifts at your parents oh the worst bro give it a break

yeah don't ruin my christmas you don't ruin my christmas some asshole kid that was doing that and he put on a bandana and stuff and take his shirt off and try to look for all your presents like a burglar and that reminds me of that kind of girl like that yeah she's down for that too i bet yeah man i think if it comes to that kind of stuff unless somebody's drug mulling i'm not trying to eat something out of their butt no i mean either that's another thing i'm gonna say sting it yeah i'm gonna say sting it too it's a hard sting too like yeah i'll have a little bro but i ain't having a lot yeah exactly i'll talk you know i'll see what's going on but i ain't fucking milling around nah you know i'll stop by the

party but i ain't gonna be the last one there nah i'm out yeah so sting that yeah sting that uh number two is perfect for christmas time it's from anthony frederick hey what's up guys this is anthony from nebraska dana white i don't know if you can see way back behind me, there's a giant penguin with a Santa Claus hat on his head. I'm out putting on my Christmas lights, and I thought I'd have a question for you. Can you get or sting it? Inflatable Christmas decorations.

There's what behind him? There's a penguin with a hat on and big-ass inflatable things. It's so much work and effort to do that shit i like christmas lights but when you go overboard and you got the big santa the and the reindeers and shit yeah not for me bro really nah it's too much you seem like that kind of guy though oh i do christmas lights you don't do the extras you get you drive that car that it's like a damn you know it's that are you talking about the three-wheeler dude they just sent one of those to mars i saw the other day on tv oh man like jesus you see an alien just cruising around saturn in that the rover bro the mars rover bro things out there send back the images bro we

were waiting on these images now we paid 70 billion to see that fucking car these images for a couple of fucking images now when you grew up did did since your parents gonna afford those they just put you in the lawn you and your brother you're swinging like this while you guys were holding lights and shit like this happy holidays from the vons dude we had a guy that got electrocuted in our neighborhood and that kind of held us all over for about a decade um he was doing his own christmas lights and it was raining at the same time and he was trying to do like a big finale or whatever gotta do it man and uh yeah and he pad that got passed away that was pretty violent i think he actually got hit by lightning but um that'll put a damper on your oh that really that shut it down and it happened right by the chimney up on the on the

building so everybody was like smoking well it was just saying it like ruined the whole thing for everybody was like fuck there's a dead guy right by the chimney you wouldn't think it was actually santa no i don't think that somebody might have maybe wayne with that shirt dude but when with his shirt off freezing yeah oh if he was if he had an idea he'd run right through a fucking fence bro he didn't know how to express himself you know yeah except by taking down you know lattice work but i would say i'm not opposed to it i'm not like anti-christmas but when you see it if you drive by it in a neighborhood it's nice if it's well done don't give me the bullshit like you got to put some effort into it yeah every now and then they'll throw in a grimace they had a

dude in our neighborhood he would paint like the ones from halloween he'd then paint them for christmas budget cuts bro no you can't do that you can't get the goodwill version of that shit you know what i'm saying like you got to put up the real thing yeah if you can go all out go all out don't put up a caveman a penguin and fucking santa claus you know what i'm saying yeah don't put a couple steve buscemi's out there you know this dude put a ghost out there one year it was like merry ghost of christmas get the fuck out my face bro and it's a reindeer yeah those things are a little too big i think uh i saw one guy just put his dogs out front bro really yeah i left them in the snow oh wow yeah and put uh antlers on them oh dang that's kind of cool yeah i've seen that before

i could see that if you put some lights. I like the manger. You know, somebody would always put a manger up, but then people would spray paint, like all kinds of profanity on it. God, people suck, man. Like, I'd fuck Mary, somebody wrote on there. God damn, that's vicious, bro. Jesus, man. So what do you think? King or sting it? I'm going to say sting it, man.

It's too much. I think it's just you're wanting too much attention and it the lights are the magic if you do the lights you're doing something good i'm cool with the i'm with you i'm cool on the lights yeah you just you're trying too hard man yeah they had one they found a homeless dude living in somebody's inflatable too makes sense man they look comfy as fuck yeah warm yeah always on already built yeah colorful almost like an igloo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so. Sting that shit.

Yeah. All right, number three. This comes from a recent conversation I believe Brendan had on a fight companion. What up, guys? My name's Alexis from Midland, Texas. Why is this phone like that? I'm just trying to become a member of y'all's extravagant hair club. Damn, bro. But I got a King in her stingy.

King in her stingy chocolate bodies. Congratulations to both you guys on the upcoming podcast and uh hope you guys do great onward thanks brother them chocolate bodies he's talking about africans no bro no bro he's talking about bodybuilders who decide to paint their bodies chocolate to look more ripped like the black guys oh yeah but they leave their face or they leave their hands and their feet everyone's doing it man it's a hard path it's so racist and no one's brought it up oh wow and it's everywhere bro someone sent me a picture of uh in japan as bodybuilding competition they did just their lower body oh yeah just the lower half oh chocolate body chocolate bottom chocolate booty that chocolate booty chocolate dong people are doing dye in their bodies yeah so they look

more like look at this asshole oh god dude since when did we approve of that guy in something yeah they dipped him in tanning solution and he asked for it but we're but if some now if he went just chocolate face i mean it's fucking it's ridiculous yeah people you you're gonna get fucking torched but you can go chocolate body we act like it's all good oh wow look at that bro see i think the guy looks better on the left oh 100 it doesn't even look realistic it looks like a martian it makes zero sense no one wants to address it we're saying give him the free pass? No, hell no. I thought chocolate bodies was a body.

If you would rather have a black body or a white body. Oh, black body all day. You would? Yeah. Yeah. Black bodies are like the Lamborghinis of bodies. You show up in a black body. They're always shredded for the most part.

Yeah. They're always lean. You know what I'm saying? Tats. Tats. Dude, they had a black baby the other day born with like seven tats. You can't even see them. Yeah.

Like he could have a full body. Oh, yeah. Of tats. Every day. You have the other day born with like seven tats he can't even see him yeah like he could have a full body oh yeah of tats but you have no idea it looks cooler on them white dudes tattoos stick out more but white dudes i'll say this black guy get an erection or a latino guy get an erection all the same color hard to see white white guy gets that little red freaking firing rod almost like a dark maroon yeah yeah that thing's rearing to go and that's purple head too yeah yeah maroon shaft purple head you know it's go time baby oh that's that fucking vietnamese fucking nightstick yeah bro that's that fucking thai iced tea baby but black guy sometimes a black guy surprise you every now and then it'll pop up my porno selection like suggestions for you and i'll see this black dick that thing looks like a goddamn measuring stick of different colors it

looks like crayola fucking coloring book bro but imagine that here's my thing is black eyes with the big dicks like haven't you been through enough carrying around a big dick all the time it reminds me almost it makes me think of like indentured servants or a long time ago you think it's exhausting yeah yeah it's like jesus with the cross yeah and it's like put it down just give them a break yeah but they can't right they can't dude and also black guys are going to be stronger than white guys because they're carrying you know an extra pound between their legs yeah it's like that every day it's like if a white guy put on ankle weights all his life they just wake up like that bro but i don't like this inner the crossing of the different you know like when people start getting i mean i don't know when you dye your body brown to look better at a dance competition what is it bodybuilding competition they've been doing it

forever too yeah because like a dude like ronnie colma show up who's fucking jacked and chocolate and you know because you see really black yeah you can see the definition their muscle better when you're darker so the white guy went fuck this noise i'm gonna paint my body black you ain't getting advantage on me and we just give them the free pass and i'm here to say nah nah but you want to roast fucking rachel dozel you seen her yeah yeah you want to rate yeah i think she's done a great she went full chocolate body no one gives up she tried to help the community yeah it's jesus christ i don't ever wants to fucking lynch that poor lady like better i know 2 000 black ladies look like her that ain't

doing shit i know bro but when you get sometimes you get a crossover like i don't know but if a white dude but if a black dude did white body yeah we didn't give a shit people are blurring too much these days anyway. It's good that they're blurring, but it's still confusing sometimes. Yeah, I thought you were black for the longest. Really? Yeah, I just thought you were a light-skinned black dude.

Oh, I could see that. Yeah, with your nose and lips. Oh, wow. I know, I was like, oh, there he is. I was going to say, because of my positive fucking vibrant attitude. That too, bro, but I didn't know. I didn't know. That's crazy.

Yeah, dude. Wow, that's crazy. I think we sting the shit out of chocolate bodies though yeah i think it's frowned upon bodies it's just giving people the wrong impression you know um but i could see somebody going black body if you want to roll up to the basketball courts black body paint yourself so you can get picked last no you can get back picked first that's what i'm saying because if you're if you're white dude you roll up you're probably gonna pick last oh you can pick last oh every time well unless you're like a john stockton can shoot past some shit that guy got picked last until he proved himself yeah and shout out to ed mccaffrey the only white player still in the nfl well his son's in the

nfl but yeah is he really yeah his son's a baller shout out to eddie jr bro christian mccaffrey bro what else you got from andrew brentwood What's going on, Rat King and the Beast? Will Sesso? Don't mind the hurt on my lip. Don't mind the hurt on my lip? I got a quick question for you guys. Pit Bulls, king it or sting it, baby? Oh, he's hitting that Juul, too.

Oh, shit, son. Vape away, bro. Get that hurt off your lip for the next time we see you, though. Yeah, clean your Juul, too. Oh, shit, son. Vape away, bro. Get that Herp off your lip for the next time we see you, though. Yeah, clean your Juul, buddy. Come on, bro. You could have waited a week before you fucking did the video and had herpes on your lip. Oh, he had that little... That shit happens, though, bro. He's probably like a booty hole. That shit doesn't happen.

No, he's probably king booty hole-like. It happens to people that have herpes. Yeah, correct. That dude doesn't fucking happen. Brennan's like, oh, man, I have this AIDS flare-up today. Yeah. You got AIDS, bro, all the time. That's live, bro. But, dude, if you start that's what can happen bernan's like oh man i have this aids flare up today yeah you got aids that's live bro but dude if you start groundhog and i got a buddy and he's like sometimes you can't even hear him he's got so many sores on his mouth ah damn bro if he goes in the sunshine they all come out they're like groundhogs just all over his lips their body ground they're

basically like having little groundhogs he looks like one of the sucker fish on the fish tanks yeah look at that right there dude he looks like one of those yeah like the sucker fish that clean the tanks yeah it looked like he'd been sucking dick and like a chemical plant or something non-stop though like a glory hole at a chemical plant and then you're gonna have a lot of exactly that's what i'm thinking yeah uh pit bulls this is a big kenya baby pit bulls i fucking love pitbulls. I grew up with one. I've had three of them. Really? Yeah, I grew up with a pitbull named Spud.

Oh, it's like Spud McKenzie? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I love pitbulls. Well, here's the thing about pitbulls, though, man. What people don't think about is they said that pitbulls don't have dreams. They only have nightmares while they're sleeping. That makes sense.

That makes sense. So my thing is... Is that their fault, though? I mean, they're doing it i'm thinking oh pitbull the singer well hold on yeah we talking about pitbull the animal pitbull the singer can fucking kick rock yeah he looks like william shatner's blind son the singer is one of the probably six or seven most all the songs sound exactly the same it's crazy dollar bomb bomb dollar uh fuck that guy but pitbulls i love absolutely dogs they're good until athletic people are scared of them and they're friendly as shit they're just dog aggressive they just don't

like other dogs or babies once a year in florida they bite a baby's face off in florida so if you want to play that lottery take your chances yeah they're great they're great with kids though man i'm telling you but then they're suddenly not great with kids and they go they go back to being great you know what pitbulls are like especially if you adopt them which i did it's like having a best friend who was a former felon really like you i can see that like he's trying to do better but you don't trust him fully you know i'm george what's his name the comedian yeah like you can't trust him fully you know he's like a bad dude yeah under the right circumstances he's all right yeah that's pitbulls bro like you can't trust him fully you know he's like a bad dude but under the right circumstances he's all right yeah that's pitbulls though like you can't bring him to dog parks everyone freaks

the fuck out they do oh dude yeah man when i was young rap videos so you look cool chicks dig them well poor people always had when i was young for some reason it was like a poor people's dog yeah pitbulls and rottweilers i guess because people didn't have like alarm systems so you'd see more that activity correct but i would never go near one, probably. I used to do drugs and stuff with this man named Billy Conforto, actually. He was homosexual or homoerotic. Sure. And he, we used to be bus boys, even though he was in his 40s.

But he, and he actually died. Eventually, he drove into an embankment on some pills. Committed suicide or no? Or it was just an accident? He was pretty brave. I bet he just tried it. Yeah, he thought he could go through? Yeah.

Or just thought that. Maybe he thought it was like back to the future and thought he was going to go through the wall. It's real life, so it didn't work out that way. Well, that's hard. Yeah, they call it hell of a drug, bro. They call it drugs or hell of a drug. Yeah, hell of a drug. Well, he, but anyway, what were we talking about?

Oh, he had a bunch of pitbulls and I'd go over there and get high. And then he'd let them all loose in the room, and I'd be so scared. How old were they? Were the pit bulls? Different ages, probably. But were they friendly, though? Because usually, if they're friendly, they're great. If they're in the wrong hands, they're the worst dog you can have.

They were, I think, they really scared me. He used to train them in the yard. He'd put these things up, and they would jump and get them like 10 feet in the air. Was he trained to be fighting dogs? Yeah, he was trained to be fighting. Oh, fuck. Yeah, bad dude. It was dangerous, man. Yeah, it's dangerous. You Was he training to be fighting dogs? Yeah, he was training to be fighting. Oh, fuck. Yeah, bad dude. It was dangerous, man.

Yeah, it's dangerous. You don't want to be in there with them. I say King Pit Bulls. Sounds like you've had a bad experience with them. I've had a bad experience, but you have had more experience. I'm going to ride with you on this one. All right, baby. King it.

All right. Number five from, this guy's really intense, Funk Roberts. Oh, God. An Asian? What's up? What's up, guys? My name is Funk Roberts from Toronto, Canada. I do online fitness for men over 40 and strength and conditioning for fighters.

My King It or Sting It is nude volleyball tournaments, naked volleyball tournaments. During the early 2000s, I used to go to the Super Bowl of volleyball, nude volleyball, naked volleyball at White Thorn Lodge. of volleyball, nude volleyball, naked volleyball at White Thorn Lodge. 1,500 naked people from newborns all the way to people that are 99 years old and all shapes and sizes. I've seen it all. But would you guys do naked volleyball? Yeah!

Damn, he's jacked. He looks like the kind of dude who's into naked volleyball. I met that guy, actually. Where? At a show in Holland. I'm going to call it. I met that guy at a show backstage in Toronto. Did he spike a ball in your face naked? No, him and his wife, man.

He dates this little white firefly lady. And they're like, yeah, there's strength and conditioning. Here's the thing, and I'll go straight into you, Funk. Shout out to Funk, bro. Yeah, shout out to Funk, bro. Shout out to the Funk. Yeah. The naked Funk dude that how how naked do you think he was in that did how loaded the show in the video he had sweats on i think dude that wasn't sweats bro that's a huge flat cotton cop let's check it out again maybe his cock had a drawstring maybe just his

dick had an outfit on oh shit oh boy shut okay okay yeah his jeans on his jeans or a guy in that prison outfit it could be a top of a denim diaper you can't see much like he's shred city though well here's the thing i'll say this first got to get their nuts caught in the net it's over bro and that's gonna happen standard bro or first chick to get her titties caught up in the net you get some big old knockers you go up to fucking spike the ball come down tits game over dude game over why are you playing it naked first of all why can't you play really regular fucking volleyball why you gotta have your tits and dick out yeah yeah and also if it's i'm assuming it's sand volleyball if you dive and my dick fucking takes a nose plant into the fucking sand.

Oh, no. Hell no. Not for me, man. That's like an old, like, fucking sand is an old school thing. You know, that's what they did back in the desert, probably Egypt or something early. You know, probably first 10 chapters in the Bible. If you think about the background of it you know there's probably people out there doing fucking dirt i feel like we've evolved we don't

need to play in the sand anymore right now i see the idea going back now funk though it looks like i mean he's a strong guy what if a unstrapping some setter gets out there just setting the ball all day you know and then funk just has his cock in your face spiking the ball just spike think about the the trauma you're gonna go through later that night if you got funk in that dark night dick in your face non-stop yeah round after round round after round i mean you can just imagine it once if you want to no he's he's spiking that dick in your face all night long baby yeah you could just imagine it one time and no i think it'll be once you mean they're all night long tip might even touch your lip you don't even have it but no i don't think that

but i do imagine him doing a pele style thing where he's able to spike all the time where he spins over and then his dick goes first yeah like a black like the like the movie black panther yeah yeah dude and that's the thing i'm gonna get i would not watch that yeah i mean and what kind of chicks are gonna be i mean if you got some hot chicks coming out there, how many dudes is at this thing, Funk? I think. Here's my thing. If we're all playing and they're hot chicks, like they have them apple bottoms and tits out.

Yeah. You going to be rock hard, baby? Rock hard. And I can't hide this thing like Funk can't. Oh, this is my mic. Oh, yeah. This is my tail. No, not for me. I got a fucking rock hard and i can't hide this thing like funk can't it can't oh it can't oh this is my mic oh this is my tail no not for me i get a fucking rock hard boner i don't get a lot of boners outdoors i'm more of an i can't get erect outdoors anymore i can't get erect in your broken glass those are like my two cavities that's your shit yeah even even if there's a

good wind gust oh dude i can't fucking stay hard if the air conditioning's on it's hitting my butt is the sound i think it's the cold air. Because I feel like winter's coming and I've got to prepare. That makes sense. But my thing is, for this guy, Font, Font Roberts, naked volleyball, I'm going to say sting it, man. I don't think we need it. I'm with you. I don't think we need it.

Sting it, but Font, do your thing. I celebrate you doing it with that fat dick, but for us, it's we need it. I'm with you. I don't think we need it. Sting it, but Funk, do your thing. I celebrate you doing it with that fat dick, but for us, it's a sting it. And he may have had a small dick. Now, that's it. No, Funk. You don't name yourself Funk. Get shredded. Have that beard.

Talk about naked volleyball. That motherfucker said, and I've been going for a while. You don't show up with a small dick to naked volleyball. There you go. You bring in the heat. That's true. You bring that heat. You show up and Funk's just bouncing the ball

on his cock over in the corner. Like, yeah. Like, it's like a clock. He's just there. He's the fucking timekeeper like this. Dude,

he sneaks up on people while they're waiting and he just sets it on their shoulder and tells them it's a snake. Or if you stepped over the line or something like that, he hits you on the shoulder with his dick. Like, nah, man,

not up in here. Like, he's the ref, but it's his dick. All right, what else? Sting it. I'm sorry. Yeah, sting it. Wow, Rob, bro. Sting it, bro.

Sting it, yeah. Shout out to Funk, though. Last one for King of the Sting from Frankie Beetle. Let's see Frank. Oh, wow. All right, Frank. My name's Frankie Beetle. What's up, Tom Segura?

I'm from Nevada. Definite hit man. Yeah. King it or sting it, baby. Dead body in my trunk. What should I do Tom Seguro? From Nevada. Definite hit man. Yeah. King it or sting it, baby. Dead body in my trunk. What should I do with it? Bologna nipples. What's a bologna nipple? Like talking about the big nipples, like the saucers? Like the pepperonis? Can you pull one up? I can't legally look at them on my computer. I have blockers

on there right now. Yeah, I don't want a virus either on my phone. Like the big old Yeah, the big brown ones. Oh oh i could go for some mortadella maybe oh shit is that nick jonas with them big ass nips nick jones got them pepperoni nipples somebody's got him somebody got him i don't know too many people with them oh shit son that girl that uh that girl is poison check out those are dicks on the end of them turn this off and i'm not allowed to look at this i think this is the most serious

i can't look at this kind of stuff okay sorry man um you want me to tell your sponsor no so should we not talk about sexual shit we can talk about it i just i'm not allowed to look you're not allowed to look at that graphically i can look at you're not allowed to look at porno and shit yeah ever i mean i can look at it your sponsors but then i can also never have a family or be married and just jack off at night by myself at home with your tears to myself with your tears no i don't jack off with the tears that you know you're well as you get older oh yeah your mood turns into tears yeah yeah yeah all right then let's not have you look at porn because I don't want your movie to end that way. No, I can talk.

Thank you. I can talk about it some, but I don't want to do that. But here's what I'm saying is baloney nipples. First of all, this guy's sitting in his car thinking about baloney nipples. No, first of all, he has baloney nipples, and that's why he's asking. Because he's like, hey, bro, quick question for you. Because he's probably going on a date. He's like, baloney nipples.

They're fucking badass, right? What do you guys think? Can you sting nipples and be cool like it's definitely his issue the dodge vipers are fucking yeah bro get them nips out bro it looks like you some titties on you i'm not mad at that if you got tits and they're big like that you're gonna stick out more and i think these days you could get a tattoo get some cheese next to them and like a little thing of a little knife and you know make it like a cheese plate on your oh you could do that or you get real creative and do like mickey mouse ears like there's a bunch of fun stuff i could do yeah if you're yeah if you want to have fun yeah if you want to have fun offended kids but also like i think if you got meats on

your chest you know that's you know that to me is like. Unique. Yeah. Like, there's definitely a kind of girl, you know, a real Italian girl. It's 100 percent Italian. Well, her mouth of water when she sees that shit, because she'll think of she'll look at your tits and think of pepperoni pizza. Yeah. And she wants to suck on them. And then next thing you know, she's like on your titties.

She is bored with that. She goes down to that little fucking cannoli you got down there. Oh, wow. Yeah, bro. That's how it starts. starts tell her you got them glorious hidden meats yeah baby uh i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna king the pepperoni nipples because hey you can't pick them god goes you know what you get some big ass nips good luck with this same with dick size oh dude trust me man i'm erect right now honestly i bet after you because you haven't seen porn for a little bit and then you saw that you were like this turn it off turn it off well not all started salvating and shit like god damn turn that shit off there quick that's the problem dude i'm fully erect right now though look at that oh damn bro you think i'm lying you haven't seen shit in forever it's like it's like prison break in this bitch. You haven't seen a naked lady in a fucking grip.

Nick, you knew he struggles with this. Why you got to make my man get a boner in them tight ass sweats? I don't lie when I get them, son. Bro, wear those sweats to the strip club. You're going to bust your nut in a second. They're riding that fucking cock, that cockatoo in them little boy sweats. You're going to bust all over that barry sanders jersey bro bro i'm going wichita falls on this thing he's out of wichita you know that um i'll

say this that if you got pepperoni nipples or any type of meaty cheesy you know i had a buddy and he had a um like a rare dick that was like uh you remember those string cheese things what do you mean it looked exactly like a string cheese it was thin very thin and kind of square and flat at the end like a twizzler yeah kind of like a twizzler but without the grooves on the side you know without the grooving so i think if you have a unique penis and it's something you could put like you know that grilled cheese jesus that came out or something like that you can make a special instagram that's what i'm saying peacock with it bro yeah fancy got them nipples peacock it and don't be ashamed of it.

That goes back to Gynoplasty. My buddy Gynoplasty, Jeff, Breasty Jeff, he got all these special tattoos to cover up his breasts. Dude, get your bone out of my face, bro. It went down. Kind of. That's natural. It's still fucking in my fucking...

Why are you looking down there, bro? Because, bro, you're in these tiny sweats and your dick's fucking... These aren't tiny. These shrunk. Are you shitting me? And they're plum. All right, bro. I'm just saying, yeah.

All right, now I can focus. Don't look down here. Now I can focus. Look up here where people are looking. You're dicking my face, bro. I know. If this is prison, you'd be fucked right now. Look at-

Literally. Literally. Yeah. No, you get fucked for looking at somebody's dick. They catch you looking at somebody's dick. No. Me in prison? You've never been to prison, dude.

You're fucked, bro. Yeah, I have been. Where'd you go? Pelican Bay. Oh, Pelican Bay, bro. The fucking- Pelican Bay, the resort club? The prison with the sailing team? You've never heard of Pelican Bay?

Pelican Bay? Pelican Bay is a terrible prison, bro. It's one of the worst. Oh, Pelican Bay where they- Ask me again, bro. Where you can order ice cream at night? Ask me again, bro. With the slippers?

Ask me again. Where'd you go to prison at? Alcatraz. No, you're lying, dude. He thought Alcatraz was a game the other day he goes dude let's play that game i'm like what game is like you know alcatraz and i'm like that's yahtzee and fucking alcatraz you thought alcatraz was actually san francisco he thought it was the capital of san francisco well they should lock a lot of those up yeah they should bro but um anyway you get locked up in

them sweats you go near a school i'm already locked up dude how fucking hot is it in here yeah it's like someone broke the thermometer what a fucking creep uh you're hot because you got a raging bone so i'm gonna say to homeboy here with the fat nips i'm gonna say king it bro rock your nipples you got titties peacock them titties. Chicks are going to dig it. You need to get cannoli sucked. Yeah, that's true, man. Go out there and get a meaty broad, a lady that likes a sandwich. Hang out around Jimmy John's or something.

Go to a Subway, dude, and see who wears a footlong. Yeah. And then come up behind, like. Hit her with that turkey time. Yeah, yeah, the turkey time. Be like, you down for meatballs? Yeah. You want some meatballs with that footlong?

Okay, calm down, eh? And show us the deal next time. If long but okay calm down a and show us the deal next time if you got nipples or something show us one of them preach come in here that's what i'm saying if you got fat nips show them on there don't leave it to our imagination yeah apparently gives theo a boner well look i mean i do i appreciate the boner bro i appreciate the blood flow and the crazy thing about me is i only have a select amount of blood in my body so if i feel you feel dizzy oh i can feel the blood i saw the color on your face come yeah i saw you lose color but that's when you're equalized i'm fully equalized good for you man uh king the fat nips what else time for debate club debate club what's

up son pick a side son all right let's see what we got though another we definitely will have something bro another one perfect for holiday time from Andrew Barker. Howdy, King and Sting. The name's Andrew Barker. I'm a 24-year-old American thoroughbred out of Beaverton, Oregon, in search of a career that I'm passionate for. And anyways, I was wondering if you guys

could debate the topic of Halloween or Christmas. I appreciate the time, guys. Oh my god. It's hilarious. It's like watching Brian Callen do comedy. Have you seen that? He's like everything he does.

Before you know it. You've done 2,000 squats. Before you even... I'm sweating. Oh, dude, I had to get a protein shake at the middle of his set the other day. I was so tired. Brian was a heart rate monitor during his sets and shit.

See how many calories he burns? He would be the funnest actually if he put a um what's one of the uh things you do like this on the oh you're talking about the the the fucking what is that elliptical nope um this thing what's this yeah what is this um i don't know what the fuck is this that's elliptical bro well this is the elliptical. This? You're talking about this? Yeah, I'm not talking about that. You don't know your weight in the weight room, bro. You don't know your weight. This?

Are you a fucking Bash Brothers from the WWF? What's this thing you do when you're in the gym? You just started working out, bro. You just started working out. If you're running. If you run like Wreck-It Ralph. I'm not talking about that, dude. Dude, some people run arms first. you run like wreck it ralph yeah dude dude some people run arms first you run with your arms by your side bro like somebody like a fucking have you

ever ran this is an honest question have you ever ran before you have i don't know yeah i don't know you don't look like a guy who'd run oh i've definitely ran i've never seen you move quick ever ever that yeah dude well this building you can't see how quick i'm moving this building that makes sense it's dark in here um what was the guy's halloween or christmas halloween or christmas what do you what are you taking on this brother i'm taking a hard hard case on halloween by a long fucking shot why why because halloween is dope you can dress up whatever the fuck you want chicks give it gives them an excuse to dress up like hookers for a night you can drink with your buddies it's not so family oriented you know what i'm saying christmas you got a fake dude who's into kids supposedly comes around jumping from fucking chimney to chimney which is full of shit and he comes down drops off presents so that's

all fake halloween some real shit dude i can have fun with my friends dress up fuck chicks with my friends dress up first of all you can fuck chicks anytime you want okay you don't have to wait till one night of the year when there's a full moon and half your buddies are fucking drinking it sounds like the gayest low-key game yeah but think about all the dope scary movies you can watch on halloween what's the best christmas movie you can watch on Halloween. What's the best Christmas movie you can watch? Elf? White Christmas? There's not too fucking many. Nightmare Before Christmas jacks off on all those stupid Christmas movies. No, it doesn't.

First of all, don't jack off and think that that makes it all better. Amistad is good around Christmas. What else? Hotel Rwanda. Passion for Christ. Passion for Christ. Easy. Sometimes, you know, my family would just sit around and look at a drawing or picture of Jesusesus and just light candles okay first of all jesus was born on christmas that's fake that's

a lie you're talking about this fake holiday jesus christ bro that's fake he was not born on christmas yeah he was nope i'm educating the fuck out of you okay what happened he was not born on christmas what did you want christmas he made up holiday nope was not born they think his birthday was around august or april who they, dude? The world, bro. No, they don't. The fucking world. Bro. Yeah, it's fake, bro. He was not born on Christmas.

Christmas is fake? Those are made up holidays. You are fucking Eddie Bravo right now, dude. No, this is not a conspiracy. Look it up. You're the 11th planet. When was Jesus Christ born? When was Jesus actually, the earliest source saying 25th as they do it?

Yeah, don't read that fast, the part we need. The earliest source stating 25 December. Jesus took place at the spring equino read that fast, the part we need. The earliest source stating 25 December. Jesus took place at the spring equinox, so he went and worked out at equinox, which he placed on 25th of March. Where's the 25th of March? Is that off of La Cienega? Yeah, right around there in Fairfax. First of all, you can't Christmas, bro.

You get to decorate. Everyone's full of joy. Or depression. Yeah, or depression, but people get each other gifts bro there's what responsibility you have on halloween zero to get your dick out eat candy you can do that if you want you can do that on easter we got to get each other gifts and shit yeah there's a lot of responsibility you gotta wrap it you know yeah dude but yeah but that's part of the joy is showing other people joy at christmas you you get to have tinsel.

You can put tinsel on your friend. At Christmas, you can have hot cocoa. At Christmas, you can be outside, and then it gets cold, and you have to go back inside. How about that fucking Isis eggnog? You ever had eggnog? Eggnog is so good. Bro, it's like having a fucking omelet with cinnamon in it and not having to eat it. You get to pour it right down your face, bro.

Dude, eggnog is disgusting. Eggnog, you should be on my side right away. Dude, you can hook up with your mom's friends on Christmas. Halloween? No, you can't. Halloween, you can't, bro. Dude, Christmas, old women wear brooches and you get to be like, oh, that looks nice. You can wear assless chaps if you want.

It's Halloween, man. I know. Come on, bro. Halloween. Think about all the dope-ass Halloween want. It's Halloween, man. I know. Come on, bro. Halloween. Think about all the dope-ass Halloween movies. Dude, Halloween. Yeah, people get murdered at all the Halloween movies. Friday the 13th.

Friday the 14th. Nightmare on Elm Street. Fucking Goonies. Friday. Friday. Friday after next. Friday after next. Black Friday.

Menace to Society. Menace to Society. It's all about murder, dude. I know next. Black Friday. Menace to society. Menace to society. It's all about murder, dude. I know, dude. Halloween. You know? So I'm just saying, Halloween is a time where there's a lot of fear. People are scared.

Ghosts. People stand up doing coke. You know? You fucking... I remember hooking up with some girl that was a ladybug. You know? And definitely... Yeah.

One time, my brother dressed up as a penguin. Yeah, One time my brother dressed up as a penguin. Yeah. See, my brother dressed up as a penguin. We're at a party. Bunch of other dudes showed up at penguins. He fought him. He liked that they copped his style. So there's a whole penguin.

You're not getting a penguin fight on Christmas. Yeah. No, no one dresses the fuck up. If you believe in climate change, bro. What I'm talking about is Christmas, dude. Christmas is the one time a year when you can tell somebody you love them and not even really give a fuck. Yeah. If you got problems. Yeah. I've been got problems yeah 30 since you were 12 you wait for the one day to tell them that or you can tell them every day and then halloween you just get weird dude i just up as a

dragon it was his birthday sucked a couple hours dude i was a dragon and got my dick sucked tail out the back dick in the front dragon eyes yeah bro what's up bro you ain't doing that on christmas dude just because brian gave you a blow job after one of y'all still counts bro still counts it still does count i can't do don't get their dick sucked on christmas too holy you know i'm saying like but it's that time of year when there's the other side of the coin is right there man that there's halloween has gone too far it's like oh everybody's a slut now you know somebody's a battleship yeah there's like they're they don't have an ass on their outfit it's like oh i thought somebody's like an industrial worker that sucks dick and you're like what is this you know it's

just sluts now no you get creative on halloween christmas is it's not creative christmas you can wear whatever you want red and green eggn eggnog, family on the fucking Christmas. That's it. Basic baddies. Kids get to have joy, bro. Jesus freaking Christ was born. The only chance we have. That doesn't work.

That's a fake. That's a mate. He was not born on Christmas. Well, little Danny Buddha was born or whoever was born. Someone was, but it ain't JC Walker. Whatever, dude. Wow. I'm not changing my stance.

Let's move on. Pumpkin carving, you fuck? Yeah, pumpkin pie carving, you idiot. Christmas. So send in your responses to these debates, and we'll do a follow-up episode as well. Number two. Hey, guys.

My name's Christian. I'm 25 from Livermore, California. Huge fan of both you guys. But I got a question for you guys. So I got a man bun. My question for Theo is man bun versus mullets. This isn't a mullet. It's a hockey haircut.

All right, thanks. Thank you, Christian. Howdy, Christian. Wow, so crazy that was his name. Christian. I wonder who sent that name in right on the very next question. I wonder if it was maybe the Lord. Maybe the Lord strikes down upon

us yeah he goes you know what theo's right about christmas yeah king it nope um listen man but man buns are we're a fad unless you're a japanese samurai it's tough to have a man bun these days but where you can hide jewelry though in a man bun you can hide jewels if you're trying to hide some shit in your man bun but if to rock a mullet like back in the day everyone was doing it but to do it now i mean that is a big dick energy move you know i'm saying because it not you know you're gonna get some shit for it unless you're in the inner circle unless you're a fan of theo you're in the circle of fighting the kid and the squad people are going to celebrate you but outside in the real world you take heat for it you think you yeah they're coming back i think you can't be around my kid

if you have a mullet like we had before he came over thanksgiving we had a huge discussion really should we allow him in i went listen i know him pretty well and they just kept saying he has a mullet he has a mullet i went i know and we were torn it's and then he just showed up he just showed up i'm like well fuck it well mullets just show up, dude. You don't expect them, dude. A lot of times cancer patients, you know what's wild is when God regrows their hair, it starts at the very back and grows long there first. Oh, interesting.

I've never seen that. And so a lot of people don't know that if you, the first, one of the first steps of beating cancer, first signs you're beating cancer is your body starts to sprout a mullet. And that's pretty fascinating. And that's. That's a plus. That's science that's pretty fascinating. And that's a plus. That's science. That's science.

And also, though. And two people that I like most on this earth, you and Dog the Bounty Hunter. Both have fucking mullets. Both have the same style. Now, shout out to the stylist that can fly to Hawaii, cut his shit, fly here and cut your shit. Shout out to him. And then trim up Beth's stupid haircut.h stupid haircut dude don't even tell me speaking of pepperoni nipples wow she's got some garbage bags full of tit on her dude she has some fucking watto melons oh dude i would hide bro i'd hide six

thousand mullets in each tit dude i'd fucking hide all fucking floppy disk in her titty bro any fucking viruses i had i'd put between her tits. How many terabytes do you think her tits are, Tim? What do you think? At least 70,000, bro. I would put her in my car and keep all my fucking CDs as a CD changer between her tits. Just fucking give me disk three and just reach in her titties and put it in there. between her tits.

Just fucking give me disc three and just reach in her titties and put it in there. Bro, if you throw just like a grape between her tits, I bet just wine comes out her mouth. She's really something else. It's like a black hole. You throw anything at those titties.

It's just a black hole. Just poof. So what was this guy's question, dude? Oh, mullets or man buns. Yeah, dude. I think, well, yeah, I'll say this. One thing that's really coming in right now and I've noticed it and I had this when it was not and i had long hair in the back in

canada you go to this it's a hockey haircut in um you know in san francisco you go to this it's a lesbian haircut you know and it's really like denver it's like a stepmom haircut is what they call it yeah like you can go to great clips go give me the stepmom yeah like yeah i go hiking a lot yeah i drive a fucking subaru outback i shop at eddie bauer give me the stepmom dude why do low-key most lesbians shop at eddie bauer they love it right and they get the vest and the khakis and a lot of black men are starting to wear this too and black women have had this haircut now they'll have a finger wave on the side they've had this for years i haven't seen that the thing is is, you know, people say, well, you know, a lot of times in the news, they say, well, people where I'm from don't like women. We've been wearing their fucking haircut since 1970. Okay.

You want to support a woman, you go out and grow their haircut. Okay. Then I want to see the proof, brother. I'm going to say, I'm going mullets, man. I'm not pushing man buns with this guy. Man bun is somebody hiding a mullet into a little fucking you know kidnapping a mullet into a little top piece yeah you're ashamed to show your

true mullet you're worried about what that the outsider is going to say mullet all day mullet all day so I guess within that one we agree on we agree on mullet wow first agreeal teamwork all right number teamwork well agreeing oh my god it's fucking shannon nick and the same

person and the big brown got a show human gopher this is bro yo i think you should debate about ninjas versus samurais i'm 25% Asian. Ho! Gang, gang, baby! Gang, gang! You guys are the best! That's what I'm saying, boy. I love this guy. King in the state.

Ninjas versus Samurais. Give us the debate. Yo, we got it, bro. Hell yeah, bro. That's our mascot. Who is that? That's coming from John Martino, and he had a number of submissions, too. Oh, wow.

Where's he from? It didn't say. Where's he from, dude? Where do you think he's from, bro? He's from the 11 Martino, and he had a number of submissions, too. Oh, wow. Where's he from? It didn't say. Where's he from, dude? Where do you think he's from, bro? He's from the 11th planet, bro. He's from Eddie Bravo's cerebellum, dude. Is he from the North Pole? Did he come from underground?

Oh, dude, that guy was raised deep in the mountains of Eddie Bravo's medulla oblongata, bro. Are his parents gophers? I don't know, bro. I need that guy's energy. That's Punxsutawney John right there, dude. Dude, I punk satani john right there oh man that guy is living on a flat earth for sure i think we might have just found our mascot man that's the mascot king and sting let's play one more time i want to see that fucking bad motor scooter he looks like every character in groundhog Day all in one. It's like Thundercats.

I love this guy. He's got a beanie and a hoodie on indoor. He's not, bro. He isn't? Is he in the dorm room? Look at the door behind him. He's in a bathroom. Or he's in bro he isn't you know is he in the dorm room look at the door behind him or he's in his mom's closet dude ninjas and samurais pretty similar like not a huge not summer one is a sword and one doesn't have a sword dude both the first and i'll go have

swords bro no they're going ninjas i'm going samurais yeah you know why i'm going samurais yeah wow you don't know yet biatch tom cruise was the last samurai he's a white guy who plays samurai yeah there's a lot of there a lot of people were upset about it that this white dude decided to infiltrate as a japanese samurai i love the movie movie, though. And he learned the ways by the end. Real samurai, bro. What do you mean by the end? And he died for that shit, bro. Two hours.

It was two hours. They tried to convince complete imbeciles. I'm not going to name names. Sure. But, you know, since you're representing that group right now. Yeah, that's fine. That John, what was the guy's name? John Candy?

Martino. No. The guy you said. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Thomas Cruise to you. Yeah. Thomas Cruise is a ninja,ino. No. The guy you said. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Thomas Cruise to you. Yeah. Thomas Cruise is a ninja, dude.

Okay. First of all, I've seen Tom Cruise at the Trader Joe's one time, dude, in Brentwood. So definitely not ninja behavior. In the daytime, ninjas eat at night. Everybody knows that. So fake. Second of all. Oh, wait.

Your argument's already fucked up. You're saying samurai. Last samurai. It's not the last ninja. Yeah, fuck him. You fuck. No, fuck you your argument's already fucked up. You're saying samurai. Last samurai. It's not the last ninja. Yeah, fuck him. You fuck. No, fuck you.

You fucking NASCAR fuck. It's not the last ninja. Anybody. It's the last samurai. Also, don't call samurais ninjas. Yeah. Are you in third grade? Everyone calls anything in martial arts ninjas.

Okay. Well, first of all. Also, ninjas have ninja stars, which are complete shit. Don't ninja star. Let me know how it goes for you. Yeah, dude. Hi-ya! Okay.

Ching-ching. Dude, you can't. You're doing ninjas, you idiot. No, I'm Samurais, bro. You're ninjas. I'm ninjas? Yeah. Yes, I am.

And what I'm saying is that ninjas, first of all, Samurais carry a heavy sword, bro. You know how heavy that sword is? They slaughter people. You're not slaughtering. Dude, a lot of times they don't even show you their deaths. They'll be trying to get their sword out of the thing. You get hit by a truck. You ever heard of a samurai death?

Attacked by people, shot. You ever heard of a samurai death? They have a little sword in their... This should just kill all arguments. They have a little sword right here on their side. And if they disobey or if they disrespect the word of the samurai, they commit suicide. I don't.

Swear. Sapuku. Did you know he was samurai? Huh? I knew he was a fucking samurai. That's John Martino's fucking brother. And he was also a premature baby. So a lot of his ideas, we don't know where they're coming from.

No, bro. Samurai. Samurai. The only thing you got, I'm going to help you out here. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Yep. Besides that, ninjas are full of shit. Well, think about this About a ninja

Ninjas get up early So do samurais Ninjas Samurais make rice Ninjas can read fast Think about a fast Think about a book And now they're done reading it

Yeah Ninja And you barely even hear them Turn the page He's like what the fuck Was that the wind And it's like nah bitches That's gone with the wind

And fucking Chun Yan Just absorbed it You know Think about stupid ninja Like the foot soldiers and teenage mutant ninja turtles but they suck they never get anything done they always get beat up they've never stopped anything they can sneak up on people ninjas can yeah oh what's that behind you oh see but how about a samurai even though i don't celebrate their man buns which they rock but they also have those dope fucking outfits like that's a whole get up yeah ninja's just black okay black suit it looks like chris delia's pajamas the shit they tie off in the fucking yeah this shit's dope take some effort ninja doesn't no effort to tie your fucking whole outfit one time to bring up

a fucking samurai ninjas have to wear a mask, dude. Yeah, because they're stupid. Look at that shit. Oh my God, bro. That's a night dress. Dude, it's called a night dress. It looks like a fan of the New Orleans Pelicans that got some freebie sword because they got to the arena early.

Bring that guy back up, man. Yeah, look at that shit. Dude, that looks like you're either going to kill someone or you're going to fuck. Like, there's no two ways about it. You're not just rolling around. That looks like you're going to kill yourself, dude. Which wish they do i'm glad they do because they all need to

fucking die bro ninjas are so much better dude samurais are real though ninjas can tiptoe better than anyone who invented tiptoeing look at that guy who is that dude that's a samurai bro yeah you're trying to hide an ancient samurai who are you gonna beat when you have a 1200 pounds of fucking clothes on they're the knights of japan bro dude they sure are bro you know the real color of a samurai what pink really yep oh wow let me see it i didn't know that that's that's real yeah pink's the a warrior color in japan pink it or stink it bro i'm fucking staying with ninjas on my fuck your ninjas all right samurais bro what else we got here we go shout out to that human gopher john martino john martino our mascot really and will he see a shadow in february that's what i want to know that's me too tony john let us keep

us posted yeah keep us posted we're on the edge of our seats yo brendan theo what would you rather watch wmba or men's college basketball yeah debate that shit son okay i will stand up for you take women's basketball i will do my best to support the wmba right now thank you okay i'm thinking men's college basketball okay hard okay that's fine where can you see though i remember turning on a wmba game and i was like holy shit latrell spreewell plays for every team i know and that and you don't get that same you didn't have wmba on you had joanna man the movie okay you thought you're watching the sparts was actually juana man that's a movie that's not real bro but i saw a lot of wmba players at the airport and a lot of them were sitting off paired

off in twos and look like they were secretly trying to trying to touch each other and i'm not joking you know they suck each other's tits before and after oh can you even imagine like gatorade bro how great is that the dudes do gatorade yeah they suck each other's tits and ass have you seen a lot of those post-WNBA interviews? Yeah, I have. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

I've never seen any. Because they fucking suck because nobody gives a fuck after the game, dude. First of all, this stadium is empty as fuck, bro. Hey, there's seven people on the ground. And it's their friends and family going, yeah. Yeah, get them, girl. Yeah, all their fans are basically little rachel maddows that come out there and just want to get a picture with a large black woman because

they didn't live near any growing up and they feel guilty they have white guilt so they go to they buy a ticket to the wmba the fucking la spark or the crowd's full of old fat white dudes who just have this weird fucking oh yeah weird fucking fetish with large black women dark who dunk basketballs yep they want that dark fetish and the thing is you did the only joy in it is um there is none deal you're right the free hot dogs yeah that's the thing go to a wba game you get everything free you get free rent you get everything they will come candy yeah you just play you can play for the team i coached the other day i wrote up a play i don't know shit about basketball yeah hey big bitch just stay in the middle i'm gonna throw you the ball

the toledo mint leaves dude they have the craziest names too horrible name oh dude mexico green chili the san dimas cappuccino cups like what the fuck bro boston bratwurst and i wish they would just say hey this is the gay women's basketball league yeah why not just say hey we're all gay yeah come get some yeah we're all gay we play only in west hollywood yeah see if you can get this pussy now that i would go like no shit this the slogan should be we all gay hashtag get this pussy yeah yeah dude and then i would go in the contest at halftime is you have to you have to try to get one of the players phone numbers and you have 30 seconds as a man as a man yeah you gotta see if you can somehow somehow charm

them into giving your number yeah or and then you gotta see if you can slide into their dm and send a dick pic without them getting upset okay so i so I want to say reverse psychology here, but it sounds like Brendan has agreed that the WNBA is more better than college basketball. No, because here's the thing. Yeah, what is the thing? Because you forgot what you were doing. I could take a Division III player who's coming off the bench at fucking Ithaca College, wherever. Furman. Furman, pick a school.

I don't give a fuck. That kid would score 100 points in the WNBA. No way. College, wherever. Furman. Furman, pick a school. I don't give a fuck. That kid would score 100 points in WNBA. No way. Yeah, bro. Dude, whenever I went to Louisiana State University, they had tons of very lean men or WNBA players. And they were good, bro. Simone Augustus was there.

They were fucking good. Cheryl Swoops will fuck you up. Really? Oh, my God. Or Reggie Miller's, I think Cheryl. you up. Really? Oh, my God. Or Reggie Miller's, I think Cheryl. Oh, Reggie Miller's sister, Cheryl Miller? Dude, it's Reggie Miller, but Joanna, man. Yeah.

Do you know they're the same person? Did you know that? They're twins, but I'm confused. Because Reggie went gone for a game, then Cheryl Miller scored 100 points. Cheryl came out of nowhere. In a half. In a half. Yeah.

Come on, bro. That's Reggie. Well, I'm just, the only thing about WNBA is a lot of them will low-key slide into your girlfriend's DMs when they're in town. And try and suck their pussy.

Ooh, yeah. Yeah, I know. That's why you gotta defend, dude. You gotta defend like a goalie against those bitches. I'm choosing, I'm picking a half as this guy suggested.

I'm taking the WNBA. The good things are you get to see pussy move fast. Nah, fuck that noise. It's like watching Ellen play five on five. I'd rather watch men's college basketball. Watch fucking Zion Williams. Oh, you're picking the easiest guy.

Zion Williams could be a woman. Zion? Yeah. Like the LeBron James of college basketball, dude. Yeah, you never know. I'm not watching two years he comes out of the crotch pocket. Things in the WNBA, and then WNBA is amazing. I know. So we both win. Now we're talking. basketball dude yeah you never know watching two years he comes out of the um things in wmba and then wmba is amazing i know so we both went now we're talking let's test some of these boys and

see if they really are you know what they're really planning on genetically because i'd love to see some of these beautiful men go into the wmba some dudes with pretty faces out there yeah and if you want to do diversity put some men in there put a Put a couple of Mexican guys, you know? Who never had a shot to play basketball because they're short. Yeah. Maybe they can play with the ladies.

And I've said it before. Get a couple of Asians in there. When's the last time you saw an Asian WNBA? Chan, um, none. Chin's upset about it. Yang Lin. Chin supports the fucking

Yang Lin jersey online. Chin has a fucking season membership to LA Spark. Yeah. You know how his feelings are hurt. You can't relate to none of them bitches. Dude, LA Spark, bro, I thought it was a place to get my fucking, uh, my, uh, tune up. You know how his feelings are hurt. You can't relate to none of them bitches. Dude, LA Spark, bro,

I thought it was a place to get my fucking, my tune up. I know, right? No, that's a real basketball league. I thought it was where Brendan is shooting his special. I know, that's true.

That's Spreckles, bro. All right, what else we got? Yeah, let's see some more, man. This one's from Devron Shalaw. It's fucking hot in here. Jesus Christ. Hey, Beast, singing the Rat King.

It's Devron from Australia. Jesus Christ. Hey, Beast Thing and the Rat King. It's Devron from Australia. Much love. I have a debate topic for you guys. What do you prefer, 80s fashion or 90s fashion? Which one is better to you? Let us know. Thank you. We're the same sweater size as me.

That's cool. Who knows if he does? You have no clue. That guy could be 5'2". You have no idea. I'll say this. I'm going to take 80s fashion. You're taking 80s?

Yep. 80s fashion, you got Marie say this. You're taking 80s? Yep. 80s fashion, you got the, you got Marie Francoise Gerbeau jeans. They were the first jeans you could keep a knife in on the side. 80s fashion is the neck brace. Dude, before that, if you had a bad neck, you had to hold your head up like this while you walked around. And very alarmingly, people thought you were like, you know, Ichabod Crane. Or some people would even pull their own hair and hold it up like this to look a little different.

80s fashion. Also you could, um, they had very short shorts on men, you know, so you could see a man's leg and see if he had good blood flow in his legs. Um,

80s fashion. They had, um, they had, um, I'm going to destroy this. They had different types of shoes and hats. Oh, that's a good one. They had different ones?

Oh, that's cool, man. Oh, I think 80s is good. Anyways, 90s, shit's on 80s. Everyone in the world knows 80s was awful. People die in their 90s, you idiot. Everyone knows in the 80s, it was the worst time for fashion ever. 90s, we had Zumba pants mc hammer pants we had crisscross you had fucking those are all black pants pick something white nope you had looney

tunes yep guess what you had reebok pumps you had jordans your jordans fucking those are 85 those are 90s bro jordan ones are in the 80s 89 really don't know your shit bro yeah guess what you had dope-ass hats. You had starter hats, starter jackets. I said hats. You had LA gear. You didn't say what kind of hats. You had LA gear.

LA gear? You mean guns, dude? No, LA gear. Racial crime? You had the Reebok pumps, bro. Reebok pumps? Yeah. People were murdering other people for that.

For air in their shoes, bro. You had JNCO jeans. You could wear your shirt backwards and look fucking awesome like Chris Cross. I'll say this. In the 80s, Marlboro started their thing where you could mail in little things from cigarette packs and get a sweet jacket or bag. Nah, man. That was in the 90s on candy, bro. No, that's 80s fashion.

No, you could get cool shit. Marlboro Miles, Nick, when did that start? Can you look that up? Dude, you had suede jumpsuits. You had fucking... You're just naming stuff black people like. No, everyone liked it, bro. You had Georgetown fucking Hoya starter jackets.

You'd pull over that were sick as fuck. Okay, those were nice. You had starter jackets. But the neck brace, dude, that was 80s. That's when that came out. Nah, bro, you think of gay dudes with AIDS and turtlenecks. No, not dude. That's the 80s.

Now, AIDS came out in the 80s, and I'll say that that wasn't good, but he's talking fashion only. What is this? Marlboro Miles came out in the 90s. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is me fucking lighting you up in the 90s. Hey, back to the future.

Whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nine years old, Dan. What else you got? I guess I'm just coming with a weak argument i gotta study more and i was alive in the 80s i was too bro but the 80s were a bad time for fashion everyone knows it was the worst time here we go it's a transition period last one of the day from kyle villarreal what's up this is kyle it's chris bill texas and i just wanted to see

if you preferred being a stand-up comedian or if you'd rather be a rock star. Damn, that guy feels like he's trying to fuck. He do, bro. He's charming, dude. I feel like he's hoping we say rock star so he slides into our DMs and fucks us, bro. Dude, play it backwards and put some porno music to it.

God damn. Hey, boys. Wow. You into stand-up or being a rock star who wants to go on the road with me and be a fucking road rat damn mr steal your girl you play it oh you want to play yeah sorry bud yeah i like his voice dude let's hear this what's up this is kyle from huntsville texas and i just wanted to see if you preferred being a stand-up comedian or if you'd rather be a rock star. God, has that guy been drinking cum, brother?

His hair looks fucking healthy. I agree, dude. I mean, fuck, does he wash his hair in red wine? That shit was delicious looking. Wasn't it nice? Dude, I bet if you lift the back of his hair up, there's just cheese and meats back there. Your shit looks like barbed wire after looking at his. Whatever.

That guy's probably rich family. We grew this of very very meek circumstances yeah i agree man that came from nothing that came from nothing that came from the soul of louisiana that dude was born with a silver spoon in his mouth in his ass and a head fucking full of gold you know i'm saying uh what was the question though stand up or rock star you go first deal what do you want first i'm gonna have to what did he say which one you rather be i would rather be for me i'd rather be i just saw that movie stars uh um you're talking about rock star with mark walberg stars born oh no mark rock star mark walberg make you not want to be a rockstar

Really? Nah It looks bad No, it's great, dude Really? It's good I thought it looked bad, too I never watched it

Oh, dude, me too I didn't see it in theaters But you know it's one of those TBS movies or TNT Catch it on there Amazing, bro You seem like a guy that watches a lot of bad movies, though No, no, no I'm going to say that

Dude, you just got a hard on from pepperoni tits on the screen for three i didn't get a hard i got an erection because there's a lot of electricity in the room don't go don't go don't see boogie night you're coming those fucking tight sweats these are spoiler alert they fuck in the movie dude pants perfect hey do you have to get movies cleared by your sponsor like can you see can you see spider-man because the female in it has a set of tits? You know that, right? There are movies you can see where they blur out the tits. Oh, okay.

But do you have to get it checked off? No, no, no, no. I watch most of what I want, but it's like I don't- Can you listen to rap music? I choose not to listen to some of it. But is your sponsor like, stay away from Gucci, man? I can watch whatever. If somebody beats their spouse, that's when I quit listening to them. Oh, okay.

So I'm almost out of everybody. I'm basically down to at this point. You're just country music? Yeah, at this point, yeah. Except for the Hootie and the Blowfish guy. I heard he hits his bandmates. Really? Yeah.

Jesus. Dolphins make me cry. And whoops their ass. That's what I heard, bro. It's tough times, dude, out on the road, I bet. What did this guy want to know? Stand-up or rock star?

Which one would you rather be? Dude, I'd be honest, man. I'd rather be a rock star. You'd rather or uh rock star which one would you rather be dude i'd be honest man i'd rather be a rock star you'd rather be a rock star are you sure you want to go with rock star actually hear my argument okay every night imagine being fucking uh nickelback and you're traveling all over the goddamn world singing the same song never made it as a wise man never made it as a poor man stealing next night never made it as a wise man fly 30 000 miles brazil never made it as a wise man every night every fucking night stand up let's say you want to mix things up with your set tonight cool you can mix it up let's say in the next night you want to go back your old set you can do your old set you know the fuck you want you got the freedom to do that band they

have the freedom to do it well they don't they can't if your fucking journey try playing a new track for everyone uh what the fuck are you doing hit me with the shit i want to hear man yeah you can't do new shit stand up you go on comedy store tonight and do all new shit for people that you've thought of today yeah and you don't have to depend on six other assholes who are like oh i got this song i'm the drummer okay so you're saying comedy i'll say this for music music you get to do music for africa you get to something like an aids relief you get to do aids relief you get to do all kind of relief dude other kind of stuff yeah you can do music you can play on a ship you know stand up on

a ship yeah but nobody gives a fuck i do a comedy benefit though see i keep going dude music you can throw a fucking guitar off the stage when you get mad i could throw the mic into the crowd that's gay i just throw my i can throw my head watching a big guy throw a little bitty mic that's hooked when you get mad? I could throw the mic into the crowd. That's gay as fuck, dude. Watching a big guy throw a little bitty mic that's hooked to a cord. That would be tough. I'll give you that. If I was wearing a hat, I could throw the hat into the crowd.

Joe Coy does that. He throws his hat into the crowd. Oh my god, dude. Who catches it in his mouth? A 60-year-old man catches it in his mouth? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard. Throw a guitar? Oh, thanks, dude. I don't know how to play.

At least your kid died. This thing's heavy. At least your kid died at a concert getting hit by a guitar by Robert Plant. Most people wouldn't even sue him and would just have Robert Plant sign it. You know what I'm saying? At a concert, dude, people die all the time, get hit by lightning and shit like that. The whole place burns down. 300 people die.

There's beauty in it. There's fucking, you know, there's a soul to it. Yeah, sure. The only thing I'll give you with being a rock singer is you get your dick sucked by hotter chicks way more often, I'd assume. Oh, yeah. Think of all the groupies. Like, groupies as a stand-up, you can get some every city.

You can get some hot, some not. Some with pepperoni nipples some dude some not you know i'm saying rock star it's very clear you got those road rats and they fucking love your ass dude and they call me the road rat king you feel me rat king baby oh i'm squeezing cheese across america you know yeah get you that cheddar baby get you that provolone in your mouth oh dude i provolone baby with nobody. Oh, dude, I provolone, baby, with nobody else. You feel me? Who wants that sharp cheddar in their motherfucking eyeballs, baby?

Whoa, dude, relax, bro. Who wants that honey? Oh, who wants that booty gouda? Yeah, who wants that honey dripping down that ass? Whoa, relax, guy. Who wants that booty gouda? Who wants to suck this dick nectar? Whoa, dude.

You're supposed to make things that are creative, that are fun. Dude, dick nectar, bro. Dick nectar. You're supposed to make innuendos. All right, bro. Not just saying, who wants this dirty dick nectar? Who wants to suck the pollen from my flower? Like a bee, bro.

That's the worst, bro. Like a bee, bro. Dude, as soon as you said that, everybody knows you never got your GED. Right there. Some did. Bro, just because you were homeschooled since you were one in your late 30s. Hey, dude. I also played basketball.

My mother was a coach. And you're a big blast still. I'll say this, dude. The good thing about rock stars is you get to go out and you get to make people lose their minds. Here, I'll say this dude the good thing about rock stars is you get to go out and you get to make people lose their minds here i'll say this i think that that music is able to reach more people because comedy sometimes people want to think they don't want to think it's all relative isn't it comedy like dope music dope is dope music like i can appreciate adele and metallica right i can't appreciate like you know i might appreciate aziz and sorry i might not appreciate you know this is not what yeah yeah

there's some no well i don't know where you're going with that oh okay just kind of might not like his style oh i got so it's like i'd probably be like oh maybe i won't listen to this yeah you know sure um but yeah i guess stand up you got way more it's all it's all on you you fail or you succeed all on you you have to deal with weird managers and people tell you do this and this album and this album stand up no with being a fucking uh rock star you gotta deal with all these moving pieces stand up if you're a good stand-up you're gonna fucking you put in the work you're gonna make it yourself but you don't need to depend on five other dudes and this label and let me get this out fuck no but musician bro imagine dude you can

musician you have a tour bus with like four or five of your friends always going with you because you have to have them there because they play instruments well that's what sucks but you could do a tour bus full of comedians it never happens or people always it has happened it has happened it happened one time the white comedy tour well the deaf jam trust me i'll be one of the first people that has to be on it that's what i'm saying i didn't get hit up yeah well the white comedy tour if you've never heard of it there's the blue comedy tour then there's a blue comedy tour that's blue man group you know dude but that's a band life works all i'm saying is you can go on tour With your boys Yeah dude And sell out crazy Well name a tour You name the white guys

Def Jam The black guys did it That's black The white guys did it No they didn't Blue Comedy Tour That's Jason Williams He was a quarterback

For the fucking Sacramento Kings Blue Collar Yeah There you go Jesus God damn bro Two Rivers But they've done it to your point

Fucking Two Rivers showers That's all we got Alright man That was fun dude Well You better do your research on fashion And fucking bands and shit You got Destroyed

You know I did it How did you get You got one debate right Yeah dude King of the sting Cool guns you have to make the sound of them Get a real gun bro I'll bring a real gun in here next time

Hey bro Why you threatening me dude I'm not threatening you You go to jail for a of them. Get a real gun, bro. I'll bring a real gun in here next time. Hey, bro. Why are you threatening me, dude? I'm not threatening you. You go to jail for a long time in this current culture. That's fine. I'll just say it. People are listening next door saying, hey, the fucking transitioning Russian spy is talking about bringing a gun tomorrow.

And you're gone, bro. The only people that are supposed to be next door and hear us is you and Chin. And you guys are in here. You're not there, bro. There's nobody there bro it's a hallway and that guy thinks hiding from somebody because we go in there at night and sometimes he's in there and he'll even have a slot a little bit of pork cut a pork under the door oh damn bro so he's definitely that guy i heard he can't see porn either oh that's why he's

trapped in there well i'll tell you this the only person and you could say who won today who didn't be the only person that was fucking man enough to get an erection today in studio was your boy right i'll give it to you bro so all that porn is right in your brain dude i'll show up and get hard to three fucking boys right here dude oh a couple of preemies of guatemalan over there big brandon showers yeah this is just fucking gm over here man all right bro but no i's the first uh that's the first episode of king and the sting baby that's the first episode give us what works what doesn't yeah if you have any debates you don't agree with us or you have better points fucking upload it and we will uh release those uh later in the week yeah i think there's certainly ways that we can be corrected and ways

that we can be you know uh have some constructive criticism um i think it was good though i think it's fun man especially our first one yeah the submissions were great thank you guys very much yeah thank you keep coming thank you nick uh only bigger and better from here my brother yeah i guess it's uh first one down don't ever dress like that again but we'll figure it out oh don't you worry dude yeah i got jeans on some grown man huh and you got a boner in your kids sweat you have on first of all those are middle school jeans. You can't clown. There's nothing you can say. You wear sweats on.

Dude, you're a bully dressed up like somebody to get beat up by a bully. Dude, you look like you're transitioning just to be like, fuck it, man, I'm out of fucking. you