The Golden Hour - Episode 103: Tim & the Sting with guest Dave Portnoy

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

Tim Dillon and Barstool Sports' Founder Dave Portnoy join the show and the guys talk Theo on Jimmy John's Yacht, Vaccine Concerns, Aliens, Häagen-Dazs vs Ben & Jerry's, Bean Dad vs Ruthkanda Mom, All New Relationship Advice, Rip My Drip's, Hypebeasting With The Homeless and much more!DraftKings - Download the top-rated DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use promo code KATSLiquid IV - https://liquidiv.com/ use code: KATSAthletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsBetterHelp - https://betterhelp.com/katsKats Merch - https://KATSmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So either way the man pulls me out, we're good to go. I'm glad he didn't ask me to come over or anything like that, that'd be weird. But either way, king it or sting it, helping people on the side of the road. Would you stop or wouldn't you stop? Gang gang, buzz buzz. Is the entire audience going to or coming back from rehab? Gang gang. Buzz buzz!

Back off my broccolini Get your life together It is Don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude We're kind of neighbors Yeah we're close We live in that area

We both got out of the chaos And moved out to the It was time to move out To an area where the riots Were more of a televised event Than live More of a spectvised event than live spectator event yeah they were live when i lived in west hollywood they were live it was like oh i'm going to see a live event then i moved that's where i live now it's like oh this is over zoom yes it's

like we're skyping in to the nightmare yeah but if you talk to rogan the x like it was live for him all the time like dude yeah you live by us he i know. That guy, I love him to death, but it's just so funny because it's like he, like the idea that he was like a social butterfly is insane, you know? He's like, I can't go out anywhere. It's like, what? No, he's like Bigfoot. He lived in like a cave with mountain lions. Yeah, no one got close to him.

Yeah, no one even knew where he lived. Yeah, it was like he lived in the back cave. He's like, I'm just sick of this, the homeless. I'm like, dude, I haven't seen a homeless guy in years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's not that many homeless where we're at. No, there's not. A few homeless horses.

Yeah, a couple of bobcats. Bobcats. Maybe buy a tiger from Whitney. Yeah, yeah. But it's not that bad. But I like it. It's quiet. I've never lived out in a natural area that has more nature.

And this area has more nature. Especially if you come from New York. New York had no nature. We had rats and stuff like that. But now I see horses. I see like every now and then a lot of hawks and eagles. Yeah, hell yeah. It's beautiful.

It's nice. Because kind of the whole crew just kind of took off. Yeah. Were you, I mean, you and I have talked about this off air, but were you close to moving like kind of everybody else? I wasn't close to it, but I was thinking about it. I never say never. I think that you look at the money you spend in LA,

it's a lot of money. You do save money. The problem is, what am I going to do? Am I going to live in a cul-de-sac in Texas and have a neighbor with big hair and then she comes over and we're just smoking Lucky Strikes in the backyard? Just hanging.

What are we going to do? That's my question. I'm like, what's going to happen if I move down there? It's just going to be quiet, kind of depressing. If something about L.A. is fun, it's ridiculous, but it's fun. It's fun. Well, talk to Theo. He moved to Nashville.

What do you do? He goes, nothing. That's the problem. He goes, nothing. Yeah, there's nothing. Because I'm lonely as shit. I'm like, yeah, dude. Your problem is going to follow you to whatever city you move to.

I like L.A. I like going out to dinner and seeing these crazy people that are 15-year-old billionaires and craziness and insanity. YouTubers and Lamborghinis. YouTubers and Lamborghini. People just walking around in like a lime green onesie. Yeah. You know,

I mean just that whole, it's crazy. But to me it's, it's as a comedian, there's more to make fun of here. There's more to make fun of. There's more, there's more energy here.

And then also what's interesting is if I, and I didn't know this, maybe you do because your family's still back in New York. We had Schultz on a few weeks ago. He gets, he goes, dude, this is terrible here. You don't realize how bad we have it here till you get out. Right. He's like, dude, it's like North Korea. You guys can't do shit.

He's like, where can I eat? I'm like, nowhere. It's bad. He postmates it here. And I go, you're from New York, dude. You guys are just the same as this He goes no we're not No they're not

He was the news They'll be there They're gonna get Yeah they're gonna get there They're just gonna shut it down again Cause these hospitals Are supposedly all fucked up And then you know

They're just gonna shut it down Shut down the schools They'll shut it down again I mean what are you gonna do I mean listen I don't know I just I'm at a certain point now

Where I go like I don't even watch the news anymore because it's like, I just feel like it's on loop. So I'm like, all right, shut it down or open it up or just let me know when I can go to fucking Panera. Let me know when I can sit in a Panera. Yeah. Let me know when you're all good.

Let me know when I can have a, like a French onion soup at Panera. Yeah. And then that's okay. But as far as everything else, like I don't even care. I just try to be funny and stay away from it because you start to lose your mind. Oh my God.

And you're like, fuck. I just hope that like, whether it's the vaccine, whatever works, I just hope by the spring, by the spring, summer, we're like getting out of it. It will.

I hope. Are you into the vaccine? Will you take it? Yeah, I'll take it. Listen, I will do whatever it takes. I agree with you. You can shoot me in the eye with that vaccine. I'd like to take it? Yeah, I'll take it. Listen, I will do whatever it takes. I agree with you. I'll take it too. You can shoot me in the eye with that vaccine.

I'd like to take it in a little while, like not immediately. No, I don't be like, it's like buying a Tesla first. Let everybody get it. Yeah. Let the teachers get it. You don't want the first edition Tesla. Let nurses get it. And then I'll try it later after two or 300 million people have gotten it.

They're saying that the first people that get it like there's no like crazy side effects but also if eventually if you want to travel you're gonna have to have you're gonna have to have it for our jobs we're gonna have to have it we go all over the country then all over the world we're gonna need to have it we're not gonna have an option you know i just hope it works yeah i'm just gonna hold back a little bit whole thing is like let's hope it fucking works yeah again it's like tesla if you bought that first edition tesla those things were running into the walls and yeah yeah now they're great now they're great now they're great yeah all right nick what do you got doug robert kennedy jr said uh the vaccine uh it'll it'll cure you but it won't stop you from spreading

it which a lot of people think like so but if it cures everybody if it cures everybody if they need the vaccine the problem with that type of vaccine is everybody's got to have it for it to work. And there's been so much shit on the vaccine that now everyone doesn't know. Nobody's excited. Now the time about the first responders like, yeah, we're good. Nobody's excited about it. Nobody's like, yo. No, just my dad.

Yo, bro. Just my dad. The fucking vaccine is out. My dad can't wait. Let's go. It's like a PS5. They're like, let's do it. Let yo, bro. Just my dad. The fucking vaccine is out, bro. My dad can't wait. Let's go. It's like a PS5. They're like, let's do it. Let's do this, man.

Let's go. Your dad's into it? Oh, he's so into it. I'll tell you who's doing it right is Trump and Mar-Lago. Is that how you say it? Have you been down there? I've never been down there. Dude.

I've been in the area. You get why he was like, the White House is a dump. And he was just fucking chills in Mar-Lago. Of course. It's gorgeous. Dude, we went down there. Palm In my lager It's gorgeous Dude We went down there Palm Beach is amazing

It's slow But it's amazing It's slow But he's 75 And you know Dude you should see His compound there It's amazing

Of course Like yeah of course Fuck the White House Of course That's why he's down there Yeah He loves it I love Florida man

I think that might be The retirement score When you're like 60 Yeah It's either there It's really only florida or arizona florida is amazing scottsdale arizona is nice too hell yeah but florida's just i like the ocean yeah i like looking out at the water you guys both sherlocks crack the code retire in

arizona or florida it's like that's that's why people have been doing it yeah yeah you're right i know he's making fun of us but i know I know, but yeah. Trying to pick the energy up a little, roasting. No, I mean, yeah, I just. Yeah, we're doing the thing that other people have done successfully and enjoy. Yeah. Let me see what this kid's talking about. Yeah, not in Florida. Getting some debate club.

Evidently a fan of you, too. He knew what you were up to this weekend. Hey, guys. It's Nick from Bumfuck, Tennessee. Got a debate club for you. Heard you guys were up to this weekend. Hey guys, it's Nick from Bumfuck, Tennessee. Got a debate club for you. Heard you guys were having on Tim Dillon and his little war he's got going on with Airbnb. Correct.

So the debate. You stick with those Airbnbs with those nice clean hitters? Or you go to those Motel 6's where all them lot lizards are? Yeah, I am having a war with two. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz.

What's going on with Airbnb? I'm having a war with two lesbians that have an Airbnb in Joshua Tree who rated me poorly. Accused me of breaking a cactus. How do I even do that, you sloppy bitch? What are you talking about, you goofy bitch? How do I even break a fucking cactus, okay? The literal furniture was like art pieces no one could sit in it they were like fucking chairs without backs how long were you there one night one night i brought

a few friends out there got a good deal on it got it for less than half of what it usually rents for because it was like last minute oh gotcha because we were just out in palm springs it was too cold i'm like let's all go to joshua tree and uh we went out there i had my producer with me i had another guy who podcast with me and then i think if you i had my producer with me i had another guy who podcast with me and then i think if you go on my story you might be able to still see these fucking chairs that they had it was like to a point so like how did just to for their defense how uh how did the cactus get broke no one touched it this is the thing the cactus was like falling apart yeah i probably don't have it on my story yeah i don't have it but the reality is these chairs were like

literally so, like have you ever seen chairs where you're like, no one can sit on them? Those weren't them. No one can sit on these fucking chairs. And I have one here. I have a photo of one here. I'll just give it to you right now.

But just to give you an idea of how bad it was. So did they tell you not to sit on the chairs? I mean, look at this shit. Look at that. Oh, you don't want to sit on them. They look horrible. Look at that. Oh, they're terrible. So, I mean, this fucking that shit. Look at that. Oh, you don't want to sit on them. They look horrible. Look at that. Oh, they're terrible.

So, I mean, this fucking bitch, like, wrote this whole thing where she was like, he was a bad guest. He clogged the toilets. He broke our chairs. Nobody broke anything. The chairs were like, the chairs were like weird chairs that you, like, we went up to them. They were, like, falling apart.

Like, you put them together and sit on them. And we just left a few dishes in the sink, and that was it. Did you have a rager, though? No, we did. Four people just had a dinner dishes in the sink And that was it Did you have a rager though? No we did Four people just had a dinner Nobody had a rager So I threatened her on her text I said

Well I know where your house is now Hopefully nothing happens to it And she said She said It was stupid And then she goes Are you threatening me? I'm like lol

We'll see what happens And then I sent her a gif Of the Simpsons house burning You know the Simpsons house? That burns that gif i sent that to her and she's like okay bro and then i just trashed her on my podcast because she's being a bitch and her and her wife are horrible people is she older her name is like mila jonah and mila yeah they have these dumb like they're posing with a dog in their airbnb photo whatever. They're like, we worked our whole lives in this house. Like, shut the fuck up.

Shut up. And I gave them a great review because I'm not a rat and I don't hurt people's business. So I was like, beautiful place. I never give somebody a bad review. Never. I don't Yelp. I don't comment. Uber, I don't.

Uber, bullshit. I don't do any of that. I have spit on an Uber driver. We've gotten a physical fight where I kicked the back of his chair and he he spit at me and I spit back at him because he wouldn't take me through the drive-thru Taco Bell I still rated him highly you understand I still rated him highly because up until our fight he did fine yeah he's cool he did a good job he cut through traffic you're trying to get a. Were you trying to get a double-decker?

I was trying to get a cheesy gordita crunch. Oh, yeah. I said, let's just go through the drive-thru. And he said, no. And he started screaming at me. So I just started kicking his seat, like kicking the back of his seat. Then he spit on me. I spit on him.

And then I had to get out of the car. But Uber kicked me off for like six months. But now I'm back. I'm back, and that's cool. I had the opposite happen. I drove for Uber and this lesbian couple was in the back and it was bar time. And this was back in the day when surge was huge. It'd be five times, ten times.

Yeah. Make $200 in one ride. And they asked to go through an in and out drive-through. And I was like, no, I'm sorry. I can't do that. And they got super pissed and they're like, drop us off here. And they smashed my window and they stole all the waters on the back of my car oh wow but here's the deal man why are you not making them happy uh because time is time is money at that point get out of my car it's an

equal transaction like i don't i'm an independent contractor did you not want did you not want to get a fucking double double yeah animal style fuck is wrong. Not a half hour later, I didn't. Oh, wow. Dude, a couple of lesbians. You're going to get money, right? A couple of lesbians and some spread? That could have been a fucking real story. There's two ways to really make money on Uber.

It's distance traveled and number of rides. Sitting idle, you're not going to make your money. Oh, wow. Understood. Hey, didn't know that. Did they leave you a bad review? Oh, yeah. But I called Uber immediately because I knew it was going to be an issue.

And so, like, you got to get out and find it. I don't leave bad reviews. So, listen, this Airbnb bitch. Like, I had a bad Airbnb in Palm Beach. My brother booked it. It was a real fucking dump. And the pictures look dope. Dude, so Airbnb bitch literally texted me this morning.

Threatening you now? Would you like me to see if I can get that review removed? And I wrote yes. So, I think it worked. Because the show is big. And I think people went to her and and said this guy's having a lot of fun with your house he's making a mockery of it as it deserves to be made a mockery of it's not because it is ridiculous and it's not no it will not stop i will have fans of mine rent the airbnb and i will go in it and just go crazy and be like bitch i'll never leave your home i'll live in your fucking house you're gonna squat i'll squat there i'll do whatever and she got mad because we made like burgers and like

baked beans and like other campfire foods yeah they sound like real cunt don't get mad at me i left i left a few dishes in the sink she's like the cleaning crew complained i'm like about what cleaning yeah that's her fucking i paid a a $400 cleaning fee. Fucking do it. So whatever. We never leave. Here's what I will say. I love Airbnbs. I will still go probably Airbnb over hotels

in most situations. Oh, dang. Because like when I was on the road to a comedy, I brought my opener with me and when we were in, it's an air, if I get a hotel,

I want a nice hotel. So if I got to get him a room and then me a room, it's a lot of money. It's a nightmare. And we don't get a yard. We don't get this. We don't get that.

And with an Airbnb, we each have our own room. We have rooms to spare and sometimes then me a room. It's a lot of money. It's a nightmare. We don't get a yard. We don't get this. We don't get that. With an Airbnb, we each have our own room. We have rooms to spare. And sometimes we have a pool. We have a yard. We have a kitchen. It's way more comfortable. A living area. TV.

Yeah, it's much more comfortable, man. Airbnb all day. I don't do hotels at all anymore. Especially during COVID. But I'll go to the Ritz Carlton and Naples. There's certain hotels I like. Sure. Certain hotels I like.

I'll have the lemon blueberry pancakes on a beach holler on the beach i would still rather do airbnb even over a nice hotel because you can get a dope you see the difference is this is the one difference and now because of covid hotels the one difference that hotels are not bringing to the table right now and it is like a room service so it's like there's something nice about being like hey i'm i i'm in a hotel i walk right to the beach i sit on my chair where's my drinks where's my food preach that's the reality that's the only thing i don't even drink but like just you know even to just be like hey man i'm fucking hot can you get me a bottle of water can you give me some give me a mozzarella stick and

they do it and you tip them and that's a nice transaction but for sure not fucking a motel six over airbnb never that young man was asking no that young man is figuring out where's the best place to do math with his mother yeah he's like i like to like like crystal with my parents where can we do that and it's like i don't know dude no good decisions have come out of motel six a hundred percent i used to do cocaine in motels never a mot Motel 6. Not that bad. But, and they were fun rooms to just, because you had wind protection. Are you completely sober now? 100%. No drinks?

10 years. Oh, wow. Wow. No temptation at all? No, I mean the- Can you be around it? Occasionally, the one thing that I do is like I have occasional slip up. Like occasionally I'll do heroin.

That's not bad. Occasionally, like I shoot heroin, I'll shoot up. But that's it. That's not bad. Occasionally occasionally I'll do heroin Occasionally I'll shoot Like I shoot heroin I'll shoot up But that's it No occasionally Occasionally I'll have a cigarette That's the baddest thing I do That's not bad

It's not great Are you tempted though Like when you go to a comedy club There's alcohol everywhere Never Cause I'm over it You're tempted for the first two or three years Then you're over it

I'm like I'm just over it Yeah Yeah That makes sense So Airbnb it is Playoffs Playoffs. Playoffs. You want to talk about playoffs?

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That's 25% off anything you order when you use the code KATS at liquidiv.com. Start fueling your adventures today at liquidiv.com. Promo code KATS. Another debate club. Yo, Brendan. Debate club. Aliens. Is this shit all real

Is it bullshit You know all this information that The government supposedly Is going to be disclosing to us Slowly Is that real or are they just You know further trying to hide Stuff from us

I'd be making a lot more money now if I had the real answer my man Yeah we know man we know Podcasters know. Yeah, we know, man. We know. Podcasters know. Dude, we know. Ask your boy Alex Jones. Are you guys besties now? Do you text on a daily basis?

No, no, no. I like Alex, but he's too much. It's just too much. Never meet your heroes. Yeah. He's a lot. He's a lot, and sometimes you just can't do it. He'll be like, you know, there's a globalization patient. I'm like, dude. All I ask you just Can't do it No He'll be like You know There's a globalist invasion I'm like

Dude All he asks you is What do you want to eat man Yeah I'm trying to have breakfast You can swim with a globalist Invasion all the time I respect that He's done some

Horrible things too So it's also very hard He's done a lot of things right It's very hard He's done a lot A guy like that That predicted Epstein Before anyone else did

And then gets no credit for it Oh he just gets shit on He gets no credit for it However Then he also was gets shit on. He gets no credit for it. However, then he also was like, hey, maybe Sandy Hook didn't happen. And everyone's like, no, it did. So it evens out. And it evens out where it's like, still, he looks very bad. Very bad.

And it's whatevs. He's a conspiracy guy. He's got to look at everything and go, maybe that didn't happen. He's the conspiracy guy. He's the guy in America. Him and Sam Tripoli. Yeah. And it's just tough, man.

It's a tough gig right it's not easy well no because also those guys they don't believe anything they don't you can't you can't have a normal conversation yeah but the thing about aliens is like to me i was never got any aliens i was always bored yeah me too i was boring gives a fuck i mean i think they're out there point it's not even a good conspiracy because there's like nothing no one has any proof i'd rather talk about a conspiracy that like affects people like like that that actually you could find evidence like is michelle obama man yes like something that like that there's evidence lizard people yes lizard people things like that but aliens i'm like yeah maybe unless someone comes down that guy looked like he had just outran the cops.

And he's like, he'd gotten away from like. And he's like, before I go away, let me submit this fucking thing. Before I just have a lawyer argue this down to petty larceny. Let me just get this alien question off my chest. I mean, he looks like he just tried to steal a rim from like an auto zone or something. And he's now behind the building.'s just super quiet another debate club hey guys this is caroline from gastonia north carolina i heard tim dylan is going to be hosting the show this week and i know he's an ice cream connoisseur so i have a question turn it up ice cream ben and jerry's or haagen-dazs

ben and jerry's it's a great question you're an ice cream con Ben and Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs? I heard her. Ben and Jerry's or Haagen-Dazs? It's a great question. You're an ice cream connoisseur? It's a great question. Have you had, before we answer this, because that's peasant ice cream. That's peasant ice cream. Have you had like salt and straw or Jenny's? Of course.

Okay. Of course. Carry on. No, I've had incidents in salt and straw. You got in trouble in salt? What's wrong with you? No, it's what's wrong with them. The problem is. He spit on a salt and straw. You got in trouble in salt? What's wrong with you? No, it's what's wrong with them. The problem is...

You spit on a salt and straw worker. No, but the problem is sometimes in salt and straw, enough with the testing of the people in front of me. Oh, I agree. Enough. One testing out, man. And I start kind of getting aggressive, like where I'm like, what's this?

Yeah, it's vanilla. Yeah, it's vanilla. Eat it, or I want to fucking start, you know... Salt and straw'm like, what's this? Yeah, it's vanilla. Yeah, it's vanilla. Eat it or I want to fucking start, you know. Soul Destroyer I like, but they get a little too aggressive with, they're like, they get aggressive, like they put Thanksgiving stuffing in the ice cream. Yeah, it's too seasonal.

It's also too seasonal. Yeah. You know, they're like, we want to do ice cream for Flag Day. It's like, shut the fuck up. Just put cookie dough in it and let's go. This young woman asked me, Ben and jerry's and hogged us number one so what unites them both right they're both super premium brands of ice cream meaning that they're dense right so when

you have like turkey hill or just just imagine me saying this to like just the icu of just fat coronavirus patients breaking down actually but when you do turkey or edie's they're whipped and they have a lot more air in them they're not super premium so the reason that the haagen-dazs and ben and jerry's are packed in pints are super premium ice cream uh haagen-dazs is made with like five ingredients ben and jerry's is a few more but they're still pretty similar. The difference between Haagen-Dazs and Ben and Jerry's is this. Ben and Jerry's and I had a joke about this, has too much going on in the Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

What do you mean, like the Jerry Garcia and all that? It's too much. I love the Jerry Garcia. I know, but that's okay. You were raised where? Denver. Correct. So the problem is... You're from where? Long Island, New York. That's where the Vanderbilt's live. We are the highest end people that have ever lived.

That's where the country started. The country started in Long Island. I mean, money started in Long Island. Class started in Long Island. Okay, carry on. So, Haggadah's has a cleaner finish, better flavors of actual ice cream. Ben & Jerry's is more fun. It's more fun if you're high.

But overall, quality of ice cream, Haggadah's is better. It's a better quality ice cream. It's a better quality of ice cream. What's your favorite? The ingredients. Like if you go to Salt & Straw. Haggadah's, you get a white chocolate raspberry truffle.

It's a beast. That's a super beast. It's a beast. That's pretty fancy. It's white chocolate with raspberry And then truffles in it Yeah I'm in It's really good And if I go to Salt and Straw

The salted malted cookie dough Is one of the best flavors In the United States And then I get fudge on top Yeah me too I mean that is probably The best flavor right now In America

Is the salted malted cookie dough At Salt and Straw But thank you for your question Good question Nice Damn you know your ice cream I do You ever fuck with that your ice cream. I do. You ever fuck with that keto ice cream?

Rebel and Enlightened? Yeah, get the fuck out of my face. They taste like icing. Yeah, it does. Frozen icing. It's better to just not fuck with any of that shit. Agree. I was full of keto when I started eating like a keto cookie from a place.

And then I'm like, oh, this is not. This is not it. King in the sting! Jack, coming to you from northampton massachusetts uh lesbian capital of the country huge fan and i got a debate club for you guys who is the worst tweeter could it be bean dad or would it be ruth conda forever mom if you're unfamiliar i sent my man nick some screenshots gang gang buzz buzz i know about bean dad just a terrible parent what's the other one uh ruth conda forever it was here we go uh what a weird question this guy interesting though it's interesting but so very specific for the listener That don't know Bean Dad Has a daughter

I guess he's a podcast Like musician guy And so he has a daughter And she wanted to open up Beans Can of beans And then he was like Well you need to figure out

How to do it on your own With the can opener Right And it took her six hours Which is alarming Took her six hours She's twelve or something Nine

Nine Took her like six hours She was starving She was crying and throwing fits. Yeah. And he was like, well, you need to figure this out. This is life. Yeah.

He sounds fun. He sounds like a great time. He sounds like a real problem. My problem is- She'll be on like, she'll be like doing fucking, she'll be on OnlyFans in four years. 100%. Selling her pussy for fucking, you know, Adderall. And he'll be like, I don't know where I went wrong.

I spent nine hours watching. My problem is, what kind of dad thinks it's smart to go on Twitter and tell everyone what you did? Yeah, and then he apologized, which is also the worst thing you can do. The worst. Actually apologize. So this is the Wakanda mom. Just told my 10-year-old daughter about RBG, who passed away. She had tears in her eyes, and then she did the Wakanda pose and said, Ruth Kanda forever, which is sort of pop culture.

Now, this woman's worse. Immediately, this woman's much worse. She's not even a question. Yeah, this woman fucking sucks. Dude, first of all, your 10-year-old daughter, that never happened. You made this entire situation up. Entire thing up. I like Hillary Baldwin better than this lady.

Yeah, this lady sucks. Hilaria. We call her Hillary. Okay. are you a fan of hilarious she's from i'm all for it i'm all for it let me pretend to be a different race i think it's great who cares that's what i'm saying does that bother what kind of loser are you if somebody came up to me they're like do you know this bitch isn't really russian i'd go oh i don't give a fuck she likes russians yeah all right she wants to speak in russia i don't understand why people get upset about this shit i think it's great i think it's fun i don't give a fuck. But she likes Russians? Yeah, all right. She wants to speak in Russian. I don't understand why people get upset about this shit.

I think it's great. I think it's fun. I don't know why people are mad. I don't give a fuck. I think she also was doing, she was like a high class Hispanic lady. She wasn't trying to, she's not an MS-13. She's not like trying to be a fucking gangbanger. No, she was on Good Morning America.

Yeah. She's just trying to be white plus. Yes. White with a little spice To me is fine To separate herself from the masses I would get it It would be a little weird If she was trying to be a maid

You know Like she like Alec Baldwin's wife Hilaria Pretending to be a maid And she was like You know Like that would be weird I guess where it gets dice is

Alec Baldwin met her in a restaurant And she's pretending She's Spanish And doesn't know who he is She's like I'm not from here I don't know who you are. Well, he's also a psychopath, right? So, I mean, who does he think he's attracting?

But also, when they lay down at night, because they've been together for like fucking 12 years, you know damn well he was like, oh, this bitch isn't from Spain. Come on, man. Right. No, he's punched her in the face. He's definitely hit her. But this Alexandra Lee Capps is by far the worst she's shot. Because she made this entire thing up.

But then people started digging into John Roderick, who was the Bean Dad guy, and he had a bunch of, like, anti-Semitic tweets and stuff. This one right here, he replied to someone, he said, the fourth has been perverted by activists, Jew, and mud people apologists. Now it's heating up yeah man that's not even really a joke no that's pure racism that's real hate that's a philosophy yeah that's bad now he's also best friends with the guy from uh jeopardy who is also taking some heat for saying some racist things uh he's he's uh uh jennings does tweets. He's a podcast with Ken Jennings. And then, yeah, some people like Ken Jennings has off-color tweets,

nothing like that. No, nowhere near. There's no humor in that. His was about gays and mentally challenged people. Dude, this guy deleted his Twitter, Sean Roderick. He got rid of his Twitter. He had another one. He said, and I'm quoting him

I object to people who say Or to the people who say Object when I say gay or retarded It just reminds me How gay and retarded they am Yeah that's tough Or how they're gay retards Or something

Yeah that's I mean that's just Kind of a stupid thing He's good at Jeopardy He's good at Jeopardy though Like that That's a little wild Yeah

Yeah Too much So are we leaning back Towards Bean Dad Is the worst He's good at Jeopardy, though. He's good at Jeopardy, though. He's like, that's a little wild. Yeah. Yeah. Too much. So are we leaning back towards Bean Dad as the worst? No. No, her. Still the mom. Still the mom who made the entire situation up and then decided to go to Twitter to get likes.

Yeah. No, she's still worse. All right. Let's move on to a Rip My Drip. This one's really involved. Kind of goes back to- So Rip My Drip is- I get it.

It's been a five. It's been a fight with their clothes, right? I didn't know. You're from, you know... I don't know if you know the street terms. I did that one year of community college. Rip My Drip. King and the Sting. If you don't talk money, I don't know what you mean.

Rip My Drip. Me and my team, y'all get vertigo when I rock, when I lean. Rip my drip. Yo, what's up, King and the Sting? This is Mike here at my bike shop in downtown Denver, Colorado, called Bike Shop on 21st and Curtis. This is Rip My Drip. Go ahead and check this out.

This is a 5-farm straight from the 90s edition. All right, vintage, all vintage. We got the Movado on. We got the Eddie Bowers, and we got the mavado on we got the eddie bowers and we got the timberlands on all right now this special shirt right here it's got a little hidden pocket right here for your lighter whatever you need they don't make them like this anymore look at the cut see that cut see how it hangs down they don't make them like this anymore man this g shit all right now check these out all right this is my rip my drip shoes right here and these are 1996 packer reebok collaboration for the 1996 all-star nba game can't come on bro come on and join me next time for a little bit of tune my room where you guys help me

you know add additions to my room and stuff like that i got a collection upstairs before we go though hold up we got that 25th anniversary vintage 1990s disney original come on bro it's part of my collection i got some more getting i didn't think it was that bad it's getting worse and worse yeah like incredibly quickly i'm like okay you know i was like all right well he just looks like he shops at TJ Maxx, probably has the old shit. I mean, 25th anniversary Disney World thing. I mean, there's just no excuse for that. There's no excuse for that.

The whole outfit is just a hot mess, man. 1996 was the best year of his life because 25 years ago was when the Packers won the Super Bowl too. That's like a shirt that, like, you know, making a murder on Netflix? Yeah. It's like a shirt that, like, a member of the family wears to court. You know, they come in like a Disney shirt, and the lawyer's like, yeah, can you do anything else? Do you have a button up?

Yeah, they're like, can you wear anything else? And he's like, yeah, let me get this Fat Farm button up on me. You know what, just wear the Disney shirt. Yeah, just do the Disney shirt. Yeah, that Fat Farm denim. Whenever you see somebody in a denim shirt, you go, this is someone. No, I like denim. No, I like it. You do? Yeah, I like denim. Whenever you see somebody in a denim shirt, you go, this is someone. No, I like denim. No, I like denim.

Yeah, I like denim. You can't do denim with jeans, though. You can't do a Texas tuxedo. I feel like when I see a big guy, maybe it's me, but when I see a big guy in a denim jacket, I go, there's a guy that needs a cop present to see his daughter. There's a guy who has visitational rights with his kids? Yeah, that's a problem. Am I considered a big guy?

No, I'm talking about fat guy denim jackets. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Do you like denim jackets? I love denim. Maybe I should get into denim. I think you look sweet in denim. Too many people have dissuaded me from denim. Yeah, you gotta hang out with the right people, man.

So I could pull off, you think, a black denim jacket? Fuck, yeah, you'd look sweet in that. Wow. Yeah, you'd look sick in that. right you know i might be doing that the video you did as the influencer i mean i looked great it didn't look bad no i looked what video was it i looked fucking amazing what's the title of it uh uh uh i don't know if it's a title i mean there is a title i don't i don't remember it it's on my youtube or something it's how long ago was yeah i mean i look dope i look dope as fuck dude look how dope i look i looked up in the bay pudding dude i look sad yeah where i was giving out mustard to homeless people because like a lot of these kids are giving out like bottles of water and shit to homeless people because like a lot of these kids are giving out like bottles of water and shit to

homeless people was it honey dijon at least yeah it was no it was nice it was like a uh i don't know it was uh like a straight mustard it was like a stone ground that's not bad not bad but i that babe hoodie man when i put it on dude a black guy came up to me in babe he goes you look fly as fuck right now and dude i'd never felt better in my life he goes the fit is fresh and dude there was like little kids looking at me like fuck yeah man like stay cool dude hypebeast i didn't know this there's hypebeast that are like four like oh yeah hypebeast are like literal children that are like in fucking babe yeah man they're like 12 years old in babe it's real they've been waiting for like nine hours to get a shirt so they can resell it.

But it's a community. I feel you'd look cool in a black denim jacket and some dad Yeezys. Yeah, I might do that, dude. I don't give a fuck. Maybe I'll get you those Yeezys just as a friend. I appreciate it. What size shoe are you wearing? 13.

You wear 13? 13. So do I. Yeezys. I'll do it. I'm going back to Bape, I think. I'm going to go back to get another. I want another hood.

Another. And they're not cheap. They're like $4.50. Yeah, they're not cheap. And you know what's crazy? The hood is so big that it looks like an alien. Did it have the mouth on it? Yeah, and it's got this big alien in the back.

Dude, but I don't know. It's like you put one of those on, you're like, oh yeah, fuck it, I could be this person now. It's kind of cool. You put it on, feel like you can drop an N-ball. Yeah, you're like, I could just say the N-word

and drive around. It's going to be like when Kristal told rappers not to drink, the CEO told them not to drink it, they're going to ask you to stop wearing it because it's a bad look for them. Right, right. They're like, please stop.

I think it's a good look for them though. Gucci did that, yeah. Whole new right. They're like, please stop. Gucci did that. I think it's a good look for them, though. Gucci did that, yeah. Whole new audience. It's for, well, Bape is really just for, like, fucking fat hypebeasts. Like, that's what Bape is for. It's, like, for crazy hypebeasts.

It's real, yeah. It's for big boys. Yeah, it's, like, not, you know. This guy's got a relationship advice question. Oh, boy. Nice set of eyebrows. From Colorado. Shout out Brennan.

Here's, I guess, debate club slash relationship advice. Right now, I'm currently talking to this girl, so I hope no one watches the show that I know. But anyways, I'm currently talking to this girl,

and we're only 18. Okay? And her body count, or whatever you want to call it, hookups, is seven. So like, from a girl's perspective,

Kat, like, what number is too high for you to stir you away? Or just what are your guys' thoughts on that in general? Keep doing your guys' thing. I love the show. Okay, well, he looks 38. Yeah, he looks every bit of 34. Number one, you look every bit of divorced.

The fact that you're 18 is terrifying. You don't need to focus on anyone's body count. You need to just focus on the fact that you are lying about your age, and no one is buying it. No, we sure as fuck ain't buying it. 18, my ass. What do you think 18-year-old girls sleep with seven dudes? This doesn't seem like it's that much.

Maybe it is. I don't know. But that's what kids do, especially like, haven't you seen Euphoria? You know, there's transgenders. There's dads fucking. Like, it's a lot, man. That's what kids do. They do XC. They fucking like it's it's a lot man it's what kid they do xc they fuck each other it's a lot like shaking hands they don't care seven ain't shit dude yeah relax dude also you want to accept d you better be happy take what you can get better

be happy she's calling you back uh yeah it's what they do man it's it's what kids do these days seven and she's 18 he said yeah it's not a big deal man. It's what kids do these days. Seven, and she's 18, he said? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not a big deal, dude. Don't look too into it. Also, you want to test drive the car, man. You just don't want to commit to a car without test driving it. Also, you're 41 years old.

Why are you dating an 18-year-old? There's something wrong. It's like 21 Jump Street or something. Yeah. Let's move on to some King and her Stingets. What up, boys? Darius Stiles. Welcome to you live from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

We out here on the ice with it. Are we? What y'all think? Ice skates. King and Her Sting It. Skating on a pond when it gets cold enough. I feel like it's a bad idea. Dio got them skinny ass legs, so you probably can't hang with it.

Brandon, you way too beefy to find yourself on some slick shit like this. Facts. Let me know what y'all think. Culture, culture, and much love. Gang, gang, skate, skate. We out. That looks like a hype boy on the pond there. Yeah, man.

That guy is fucking, he is talking, he's talking black. God love him. And he does it well. He does it well where it's like, it's okay. Somehow that's okay. If a white woman dresses like an Indian at Coachella, everyone goes nuts. But a white guy can be like, yeah, get with it. We with it?

We with it on ice, son? Son, I'd be like, with it? I'd be like, gang, gang, boom, boom, chug, chug. with it on ice son son i'd be like with it i'd be like gang gang boom boom chug chug hey i knew where joe when he had the fake uh what was that what's what's that uh dude this burberry yeah the burp the fake burberry burberry scarf and he's just like that color jacket is out of control and he's just like on a lake in uh min God bless him. He seems like a good guy. He seems like a guy who's a good guy. How do we know it's fake?

Because that does look like a rich neighborhood in Minnesota. Does it? Well, it's his fake or it's his mother's. We're trying to help him out. It might be his auntie's. It's either his mother's that he took, and she's literally like, where's my scarf? And he's like, you know, I need that fit.

Also, I need that fit, mom. I need that fit, son. He calls her son. He's like, yo, son, I need that fit. She, I need that fit, mom. I need that fit, son. He calls her son. He's like, yo, son, I need that fit. She's like, my name is your mother. I'm your mom. I'm your mother. Please call me bitch.

Yeah, you need to get a job and not skate on that lake by our house all day. It's embarrassing. You need to get back on the fucking Zamboni, man. Yeah. Is that a nice neighborhood in Minnesota, Nick? Because Minnesota all looks the same to me. It's like upper middle class. Yeah, I mean, those houses are $85.

Yeah. That's a nice neighborhood. Those houses are $113. It's on a lake. This guy's been out of rehab for like two weeks. He's like, I feel good. I got that fit. I'm on the ice, son.

But so ice skating, have you guys done it as a child? Dude, fuck ice skating on a random pond. I'm that fit. I'm on the ice, son. But so ice skating, have you guys done it as a child? Dude, fuck ice skating on a random pond. Oh, fuck it. I'm with him. I'm too big for that, man. Minnesota, what, is he going to fall in? He's going to be rescued by a bunch of Somalis? Because it's a huge population there.

They are the captain now. Yeah. I don't know, man. Hard pass for me. Sting it. We're stinging ice skating. Sting, sting. Today's King of the Sting with Tim Dillon is brought to you by athletic greens, the most comprehensive daily nutritional beverage

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again just forget about it simply visit athleticgreens.com slash cats join the health experts athletes health conscious go-getters around the world who make a daily commitment to their health every freaking day. Again, all you got to do, go to athleticgreens.com slash K-A-T-S. Get your free year supply of vitamin D, five free travel packs today. Athleticgreens.com slash K-A-T-S. Listen, man, y'all be crazy. A lot of y'all get sad. 2020, 2021 is here.

Let somebody help you. I'm not talking about your buddy who's all, you know, reading a lot of books, thinks he can help you out. His life is in shambles. His light bill got cut off. Nope, don't do that, man. Start talking to a licensed professional. We're talking about better help. They're going to assist you with your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist, right?

You can start communicating under 48 hours. crisis science not self-help we're talking about real professional counseling done securely online service available worldwide dog world freaking wide log on anytime send a message your counselor whatever you got going on they're going to help you out better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if you're not feeling the one they prescribed to you. All right? It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling. Financial aid is available. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life today.

All right? In fact, so many people have been using BetterHelp. They're recruiting an additional counselor in all 50 states. Special offer for you, King and the Sting listeners. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash K-A-T-S. Betterhelp.com slash cats. Let's see. Clearly this guy was a Manson follower.

This guy looks like a domestic terrorist. Clearly this guy's a fan of Jerry Garcia ice cream as well. And Theo, it's your boy, Chris Hippy Davis from St. Louis, Missouri. Got a King Itter Sting It for you. The good old Grateful Dead. There you go. Brendan, I know you fucks with them. Yep.

Yeah, they're great. But Theo, what's your opinion? Theo's not here. Buzz, buzz. Jerry Garcia. Theo's not here, but his brother has a tattoo on his chest of the Grateful Dead. Yeah, Theo would great. But Theo, what's your opinion? Theo's not here. Buzz Buzz and Jerry Garcia. Theo's not here, but his brother has a tattoo on his chest of the Grateful Dead. Yeah, Theo would like the dad, right? Who has a problem with the Grateful Dead?

Have you ever listened to their music, though? Yeah. The songs are 18 minutes long. They're very long. You've got to be on drugs. You've got to be really high. Yeah. But I mean, have you been to a concert?

Grateful Dead? No. It would be a hard pass for me. I love their shoes. Their collabs they did with be a hard pass for me. I love their shoes. Their collabs they did with the Nike Dunks are great. I love their merch. Songs are too long. You've got to be on drugs to get down with the concerts.

Also, how did Jerry Garcia die? He was obese, but... Do you know how? I have no clue. Yeah, I'm not a big... I just think he was old. It ran its course. I don't...

He died pretty young. Heart attack. And then John Mayer was... They took over the band. You know how that Korean kid took over Journey? That's what John Mayer did with... Filipino. Oh, yeah.

The Filipino cat. The dad was good. They were never my favorite. I was always more like... I liked The Who or The Rolling Stones or The Beatles more so than the dad. See, now Charles Manson would say otherwise. Everyone thinks he was a big Beatles fan. He was a big Grateful Dead fan.

Interesting. Why I know that, I don't know. Interesting. What up, Brandon? What up, Theo? Cat, Nick, Chappelle, Chin. What's up, everybody? I just got a little King or Sting for you.

I've been out here running these grocery games, shopping for people out here at the grocery store. I want to hear what you guys think. King or Sting it. Paying for somebody to go get your own groceries. Love the show, guys. Take it easy. You mean like Postmates? Yeah. Postmates groceries? Amazon delivery. Do you mean King or Sting

it like a major sector of the economy now? Yeah. What is this guy doing? He's like, King or Sting it, drinking water. What do you guys think? King or Sting it, seeing a movie in a theater. he's like king or sting it drinking water what do you guys think yeah king or sting it seeing a movie in a theater it's like yeah we're that's pretty much an accepted way of doing business those are the type ones we get you could just yeah i'm sorry no one else is here now i realize how important it is to have all the other people here but i'm paranoid about corona and every show i do with brendan he's got 35 asian people here in the room and i'm like do

we really need that la LA's literally burning down. But Asians are fine. Haven't seen Wuhan? I know, but I know. But that's why they'll give it to me. They're all immune. They'll give it to me. I just don't need it.

I don't need 15 BTS Koreans in here while I'm performing. Thank you. That's all. Respect. I'm either with Asians or black guys. Yeah, it's always some minority that's being disproportionately affected by COVID.

Brenda's like, yeah, we're just doing it. We've got 19 producers. They all take the bus here. I'm like, I'd rather not. Thank you. I'd rather not. They all come from Chinatown. You'll be fine, man.

They all come from Chinatown. They're fine. They've all had it 19 times. I'm like, that doesn't make me feel good. Everyone's had it 50 times. Hey, we're taking lunch orders now. You cool with bat soup? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, well, you know, I apologize. I see that there's an investment. These people want them to answer. I get it. But I'll try to answer for all of them. Yeah, please do. We have, I mean, Postmates, dude, it's the world now. It's the world, bro.

At Tim's point, I mean, come on, dude. Yeah, man, it's nice. Fucking king it, man. That's what we have to do true Brandon Theo rest of the crew what's going on it's your boy Clay from Ohio I got a king or stinging for you I just went and dropped my buck off at the old taxidermy to get it done you know and I start coming down the hill realize I'm going the wrong way so I'm like all right I'll turn around so I go to turn around it's snowy here in Ohio I get stuck in the hill and realize I'm going the wrong way. So I'm like, all right, I'll turn around. So I go to turn around.

It's snowy here in Ohio. I get stuck in the man's driveway. Screwed by myself. So I'm trying to push it out. I'm hot. I'm flustered. I'm pissed off. Either way, this nice gentleman pulls up.

I'm standing on the corner like a toot, like a prostitute, as Dio would say. And he's like, you need some help? Of course I do, man. Can't you see that I'm pushing my vehicle? And, yeah, so the dude jumps out of the car. Low-key looks like Joe Exotic from Tiger King. But, hey, I'm not judging. I'm in a tough spot.

So either way, the man pulls me out. We're good to go. I'm glad he didn't ask me to come over or anything like that. That'd be weird. But either way, King it or sting it. Helping people on the side of the road. Would you stop or wouldn't you stop? Gang, gang.

Buzz, buzz. Is the entire audience going to or coming back from rehab? They're all feel fans. This is every archetype of person I was in rehab with. What the fuck? They're like king the stinger helping ladies cross the road yes or no i mean i'm like i don't know man i don't i don't have any skills to help people on the side of the road i don't drive a pickup truck what do

you want me to do it's also dicey helping people these days man is it a setup i've seen too many first 48 i love this guy i think it's somebody's trying to fuck He's like, I'm glad that guy didn't try to fuck me. He's like, that could have been awkward. Yeah, it could have been weird. You know, I'm just on the side of the road looking fucking pretty damn good in my fucking weird farmer shirt and my hoodie and my backwards hat. And, you know, thinking about why I fucking got fired from Perkins last week. Perkins.

It's like a middle American. I don't know Perkins last week. It's like a middle American. I know Perkins. Yeah, he's like, I thought you worked at Perkins. You worked at Perkins. It was my first job. Perkins gives you pie with no matter what you order. You order pancakes. The morning you get a free pie. It's nice. Wow. They've got out of business that I think that's what I'd go on the road. I would just

eat at Perkins early in the day. Just go to bed for like five hours and then wake up and like didn't know where I was. I'm like what? And I would just eat at Perkins early in the day, just go to bed for like five hours, and then wake up and didn't know where I was. I'm like, what? And then I'm like, I'll have a show in an hour. And a lemon meringue pie. Yeah, just eating fucking French silk pie. Of all the chain diners, I'm proud of Perkins.

Is there Shoney's out here? Shoney's has great strawberry pie. Yeah. No, I don't know. And Coco's. These sound higher end. What about you? You're not helping anyone on the street no uh i've just seen if oh man if it's like a dude's dude and like his car's fucked up and it's like we're in the middle of nowhere i help him out but if it's like off sunset it's too dicey man like call fucking triple a dude especially if

i'm with my kids I'm not stopping man Again I've seen way too much cold cases in first 48 too much I know how this ends But I'm not gonna assume everybody's trying to fuck me Like this guy right this guy's a lot of this Take it easy Bubba and I think there's part of him That wanted to fuck I wanted He's like yeah didn't ask me to come over that was weird

I I wouldn't have done it but I just would have Appreciated you the ass you know I wanted to see what I was made of. The other day on New Year's Eve day, I went to the bank, and it was closed, U.S. Bank. And so I'm going to try to find this picture. There was this old couple there. They didn't speak great English. They were Russian.

And they were super bummed out. She looked like she was going to cry because it was cold. I was like, I'm going to the other one, like on Larchmont or something. You guys want to come with me? And they're like, oh yes. They were all excited. And then that one was closed. We ended up being in the car for like an hour. Did they rob you? No, they were just a really nice old Russian couple who lived in Ohio for a while, Lisa and Gary. They were really nice people. I actually have a picture of us. So I king it. I don't know if we need that person it's a cute picture let me uh i mean obviously king helping people oh wow there's lisa and gary what are you what are you

doing with them uh we went to the bank and why uh don't know. They really needed to deposit a check. We also have an idiot accountant who can't do direct deposits for some reason. Really? I don't know. He mails checks. You did a nice thing. Yeah. You did a nice thing.

Did you give them a ride back? How'd they get back? Yeah, I gave them a ride back. Oh, that's nice. I would never do that. But yeah, I trust them. I don't trust them, especially Russians. Sometimes I see an elderly person struggling, and I stare at them.

I don't trust them, especially Russians. Sometimes I see an elderly person struggling and I stare at them. Tim stings it. Yeah, I sting them. Yeah, I don't trust anybody, so sting. Yeah. Sorry, Clay. All right. Another King It or Sting It.

Saw dudes, what's up? All right. My name is Zianja. I'm from Scottsdale, Arizona, and I have a king it or sting it for you so a little backstory i was in the peace corps living in swaziland prior to covid and out there i just stopped giving a fuck about body hair so can you get her stinger girls with armpit hair. Oh. Oh, no. All right. Gang gang, buzz buzz.

Oh, hard pass. It's disgusting. Again, are you Manson's favorite girl in the troupe? What are you doing, man? Yeah. Armpit hair for women? Yeah. That's the one thing, right?

I don't care how hot you are. Peace Corps. How hot you are? If you have hair. Oh, nope. That's rough. I'm out. And that's a pretty right. I don't care how hot you are. Peace Corps. How hot you are. If you have hair. Oh, nope. I'm out. I'm out. And that's a pretty girl.

I'm out. I'm out, dude. Hard fucking pass. Couldn't sting that hard enough. What about men? What about hairy men, Tim? You're like, hairy men? No, not really.

But I mean, men have hair, which is normal. Yeah. But too much hair is not good. Yeah, like a hairy Russian. Yeah, I like the opposite. No Not really But I mean men have hair Which is normal Yeah But if Too much hair is not good Yeah like a hairy Russian Yeah I like the opposite of me So I don't want like a hairy person

I don't want Russians either Can't trust them That's fair They don't have souls Russians They have beautiful eyes Like huskies Yeah But there's nothing behind them

Yep Cold blue eyes 100 years of forced atheism. They don't have any souls. But yeah, women with armpit hair. I'm like kind of disturbed by that. Put a little pride into it, man. I don't care.

That's disgusting. Oh my God. It's Theo's cousin. What's up, Brendan? What's up, Theo? What's up, Culture Corner? Pat, Chin, Nick? We got a debate club for you.

We're talking chopsticks with these sushi hitters. Great deal. Or are we just going in with our hands? I mean, for me, I'm saying forget these. I'm just going in with my hands. Of course you are. Talk about it. Gang gang, buzz buzz.

Looks like an extra off Stranger Things. Yeah, he does. He looks like the guy that wasn't good-looking enough to get the Stranger Things role, and he's now at sushi. He's like, well, I had a trip to L.A. That was pretty cool. He's the guy that they bring out for Stranger Things, and one of the directors goes, are you high? Putting him on television.

I can't act. You said earthy real, and they're like, too real, too earthy. Get someone else. Yeah, I like chopsticks. I do too, man. They're pretty fucking easy to figure out but also where's he eating indoor it has to be florida oh he's not out here no yeah that was the weird thing when i was in florida looking at these savages inside restaurants eating like little people whatever it just it's weird looking it's weird man i guess people just don't care and then i get it because people have to go out and work, right?

And the government didn't give anyone any money. You know, I don't know. I just know that there's a lot of weird shit going on with this where it's like, I don't know what this is. I don't know. Have you talked to Alex Jones about the conspiracy of COVID? Yeah, I think a lot of people think it's – he gets way too deep, but I think a lot of people think it's just something way too deep But I think a lot of people Think it's just something That was made in a lab I don't even think

That's a controversial statement now No I think they traced it back To being made in a lab in China And it just got out Just got out And it's like It's fucking weird You know

It's you know It's disturbing But what kind of fucking savage Eats sushi with their hands My dad does I mean so He has nine fingers though Omikase sushi When they bring it out Like one at a time You're supposed to eat it With your hands my dad does i mean he has nine fingers though omakase sushi when they

bring it out like one at a time you're supposed to eat it with your hands oh really japanese high end japan like it is like japanese you know sushi you're supposed to eat it with your hands like that's part of what it is you know however when you're eating rolls like that get your hand out of the plate don't touch all the rolls like get your Sebastian Maniscalco It's like get your hand What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Get your fucking hand Get your mitt

Get your fucking mitt Out of the sushi bowl Okay? Okay My girlfriend is allergic to all fish So we can never get sushi Oh interesting She's Asian

What a weird tendency And she's Asian dude Really? Yeah What kind of Asian? Vietnamese That's the low rent It's just the low rent It's China and Japan

Like Japan China Korea And then you start going like Philippines Well not Philippines It's the final one But it's like

Vietnamese And then like Burma And then like Like the Philippines The Philippines like yeah the Philippines and by the way that's not me that's Asia that's from asking Asia no I'm being honest because I've asked Asia I have no opinion I don't care it's all the same to me no Chin validated it no Chin knows that's and here's a bit of Philippines is remember there was a tsunami and no one cared it's a tsunami the Philippines was destroyed everyone was like, shut the fuck up.

No one cares. Like, all right. That's where just everyone goes and hosts like kiddie porn websites. I mean, this is from other Asians. That's history, though. This is what I've been told. Those are facts. Ching confirmed it.

And speaking of the government not giving these businesses money, in like three minutes we're going to have Dave Portnoy on to talk about the small his uh barstool fund um i i've seen tim tweet about it that's not giving enough media it's amazing that the media doesn't cover it because he's doing a lot of great shit and it's just amazing that the media uh doesn't cover it all the time like every day i'm really hoping it passes uh 27 million that's what guy fieri uh raised at like the beginning of the pandemic for and he's keeping like restaurants and stuff open.

Is that what he's doing with it? Yeah. Like people are just like getting nominated or nominating their own business. And they're kind of like giving a number of how much they need to like run it out for a couple months. And then, yeah, it's just one business after another and like zero administration costs. So everything that gets donated. Are those frauds at Ruth Chris being like, hey, we help man we need 50 million yeah probably uh they have some way of it's like the rules are you got to be small business i think it's certain number of employees and then you have to have your payroll

on so it's not just like the owners that are reaping the benefits that's cool um but uh you like ruth chris don't you no no oh that's the one I don't like Ruth's Chris I love corporate steakhouses Do you get kicked out Of Ruth's Chris No I don't have I have no issue

It's pretty basic But I love You like Capital Grill Capital Grill Smith & Walsh Morton's Flamings All that shit

I love just the Ocean Prime The archetype Of a corporate steakhouse A nameless Faceless Corporate entity That has hot rolls

Steak Sides That's what I like Del Frisco's Love it Love it Are you a filet guy A nameless, faceless corporate entity that has hot rolls, steak, sides. That's what I like. It's my favorite type of restaurant. Love it. Love it. Are you a filet guy or you go primary? I go wherever.

I like New York cut. New York strip is my favorite cut. Bone-in New York strip. Rib-bys are too fatty. Filets are too lean. A bone-in New York strip is perfect. That's where all the flavor's at. Flavorful.

The bone's the key, man. That's where all the flavor comes from. Yes. And I'm fucking starving. Flavorful The bone's the key man That's where all the flavor comes from Yes And I'm fucking starving So we got We got Portnoy coming on To talk about Raising more money

Yep We got a lot of hot chicas This episode Yeah Tim comes on And all the chicks come out Yeah This is

I believe a man Please don't have it Hi Brendan Hi Theo It's Britta From Minneapolis Nick Shout out fellow umn alum sky you my baby go gulfs i got a debate so back in the day as a kid when you went to the dentist

you had to do those awful fluoride trays and they would offer you different flavors were you the type of kid that played it safe and went with mint? Or did you pick an exotic flavor like banana split or bubble gum? I did apple cinnamon. I always picked orange. That was my personal favorite. But I want to know, what's better? Play it safe with mint or pick one of the fun flavors? Gang, gang.

Buzz, buzz. Marry me, Theo. You're not supposed to swallow it? I went grape every time. I did apple cinnamon. Apple cinnamon? Yeah. That's kind of weird.

That is kind of weird, but grape I thought was the absolute worst. Grape is horrible. Yeah, I went with grape every time for some reason. Grape's no good. Apple cinnamon was not good either. Yeah. None of them are good, and they're all pretty sour. And mint is rough too.

And why can't I fucking swallow it, man? Why was it such a big deal if I swallowed that shit? Yeah, it is crazy they put something in your mouth that you're not supposed to be able to swallow. I don't think they still do that bullshit trays anymore, do they? Uh, trays? Like the fluoride trays? I think that's a thing of the past. Possibly.

I don't know. But now I want it. Now I kind of actually want it. You miss it? Now that we talked about it, I kind of actually want it. When's the last time you guys had your teeth cleaned? Do you go? Last year I went, and I'm trying to think where I got it cleaned. Where was I? I got a dental hygienist.

I was in LA. Did you have any problems? I was in New York. I was in New York for a week, and I got a dentist. I had no cavities or anything. Wow. I went probably eight years ago, and she goes, man, genetically your a, you,

you genetically, your teeth are amazing. Cause I haven't gone to a dentist forever. And she goes, they're really clean. And I went, Oh, you fucked up. I haven't been back since. I just, I just, my dad wants in the eighties, he went in and they're like, yeah, you're, it's like four grand. And he just got up and said, fuck you. I like you need four grand worth of work, right? That's like, fuck you. They're like, no need $4,000 worth of work. I was like, fuck you. They're like, no, no, you need. No, you really need it.

Yeah. I fucked up. I could have had braces. My grandma would have sacrificed and paid for them. But I was like, I don't want to go through middle school with braces. But now I have fucked up teeth and I'm an adult. How bad are you? Get Invisalign.

I don't think it'll work now because I have a bridge. I had the accident I spoke about one time on here where I ripped my tooth out on a basketball net. So now these three. I've never heard that story. These three teeth are all connected. It's a bridge. I know Invisalign for you. One day I wanted to just hit up Joe Coy's doctor.

He said it was 60 grand. He has perfect teeth. 60 grand though? It's every tooth. Like implant. Perfect. That's too much. And they got to file down the teeth for veneers, Bubba.

They got to file them down. It's a little insane. Yeah. And then you look ridiculous with these fucking big pearly whites. They can, they can like kind of yellow them a little bit. They look natural. I don't know. His teeth look great.

One day I will. Would you do veneers, Tim? Maybe just to make it easy. Yeah. I just don't want them to file my teeth down how's life out there in new york city my man sucks is it bad i i heard it's better than uh la though all my buddies la that was worse actually when i was there but that was before they canceled indoor dining yeah i'm surprised i guess i'm just surprised to hear that which leads us to you launching

this whole kind of fundraiser to help out these small businesses how'd this idea come about we did a little background on it but i want to hear it from the horse's mouth yeah so you know i was ranting raving which i tend to do uh and it was actually i was at the pool in miami it was when indoor dining got shut down in New York. And I went out and made like an Instagram video, basically just saying, I don't understand what they expect these small businesses, specifically restaurants, bars to do,

because they're already on their last legs. And now you're not letting them do indoor dining. It's the middle of winter in New York. So what's going to happen? You got to do one thing and let them open up and serve, or you got to give them a lot of money from the government or else they're just going to go out of business. So that was the gist of the rant. And then I got challenged. Basically, it's like this guy, Marcus Limonis was like, Hey, big mouth, put your money where your mouth is.

If you're going to talk about it. So that's what we did. So I donated 500 grand to what we call the Barstool Fund. And we said, hey, if you're a small business owner and you need help, contact us. And then we basically solicited donations from our readers. I Twitter shamed some of my friends who are wealthy. And we've raised about 18 million, 18.5 in about, I don't know, 12 days or something. And we get all these submissions and we record the videos of us telling them and it's kind of taken on a life of its own.

And how do you vet the small businesses that get it? Because I'm sure there's some shysters out there. Yeah. So here's the process. We get emails and there's two requirements. One, you got to prove you're running a successful business before the pandemic. And then we assume you can go back to it after and your payroll has to be on still paying employees. So those are the two things we look for. And then we get emails with the stories, videos. We have a team led by this woman, Liz Gonzalez, who goes through it. It escalates up to me. We talk to the people the people would you tell would I be shocked in the span of doing I think we've done 75 businesses or something so far that one or two slipped through

it could happen but I mean our finance team follows up ask for all the paperwork tax rent everything like that but there's no charity in the history of charities i don't think that hasn't been you know stolen from or whatever agree i'll take those odds does it surprise you that the media is not covering this because this is probably the most successful effort to help small businesses during the whole pandemic and it just seems like the media should be reporting on this all the time and it doesn't seem like that's the case does that surprise you yeah they don't give a fuck yeah they seem to not give a fuck is that or is it or is there more of them caring than i've seen i haven't seen i've seen like fox you went on fox but i feel like this is all this does is help small business owners so you you know these this is the people

that these people pretend or should care about i feel like they should report on this all the time yeah so fox has covered it and covered it a decent amount um and then the local like affiliates of abc or fox like if we if a small business is in you know arkansas the local station will do it the national besides fox there's been very little um and it's stupid like i i did tweet something out cnn like had a tweet that beyonce had donated like i think it was 500 grants at yeah a hundred five thousand dollar grants so it came out to half a million dollars basically which is great and it should everything should get publicity they haven't mentioned it once. And to me, sometimes I think rightly or wrongly, people think I'm political. I always say, I don't really think I am. I hate the far left. I hate the far right. But in this case,

it doesn't like we're helping all sorts of business. I don't know what their politics just the more publicity we get, the louder we can bang the drum, the more donations come in, the more people we can help, and we're never going to have enough money to help all the businesses. We're getting 10,000 emails. So to me, yes, if you care about small business at all, you should publicize it. It can only help. Do you believe in the conspiracy that they're trying to get rid of

those small businesses? That's the government's agenda? A lot of people say that and maybe i'm naive but i can't believe that that that is such a preposterous thing that like i don't believe like the vaccine is putting like chips in people you know i i can't get my head there to think there's somebody who would want to put out a business that has been passed down generations for like 50 years like that person if that's true you should be executed i think it makes more sense that they're just idiots and they're they're enforcing this uh

shutdown a very sloppy and uneven way and it's hurting a lot of people correct i think there's no grand design i don't think there's a grand conspiracy or a plan I think these people They're just idiots and they're out of touch I don't think they have any clue How affected people really are They're like egotistical Selfish Self-absorbed people in general

And like there's so many side agendas And so much self-interest And that's the problem And that's why something like we get the money we get it in that's all we care about so politics sucks i mean that's i don't think that's a news flash and all they care about is themselves staying in power and that's it yep who do you whose mayor you think is worse ours here with uh newsom or you think that la guy kind of or i'm New York guy sucked? You know, they've both done things that I don't know how they can look themselves in the mirror to a degree.

Like when Newsome's like, you can't go out, and he goes to French Laundry. It's like, what the fuck are you doing? And that's not, again, political. That's like, what an asshole. Right. He's writing books about how fucking terrifically he handled this pandemic in the middle of the pandemic when the city's locked down. Like, what are you doing?

He just won an Emmy. He won an Emmy. He won an Emmy for killing old people. How about refuse the Emmy? And by the way, we're a small company and we pivoted to doing this. And by the way, we're a small company and we've pivoted to doing this. But if you have the money, don't have the money for small business, like the government could set up a charity and get a ton of not charity, but like a foundation. People donate, put a ton of people going through it effectively to find out who's eligible. Like, how do you not think of that?

Right. I don't think people would trust the government if they said they were going to do that. I think that's why yours is so successful, because people know where that money is going to go. And I think people trust you guys will do a lot better of a job finding actually worthy businesses. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot out there. And it's so the first time we did it, like the first company, one of them, basically the person, person liz who goes to the email she's like this person singled out that they really like barcelona they're a fan of yours it'd be really

cool if you just called and delivered the news so i did and i facetimed and and they broke down and i wasn't recording it but it was pretty obvious like okay i gotta record this because it it was like very visceral the reaction yeah and that's what is moving the donations these videos it's pretty you know i'm not the most like sensitive guy but if you watch the videos it's hard not to be like okay i want to donate to this because you can see the weight being like lifted they're breaking down yeah so it is have you have you decided to help any larger businesses like chipotle or starbucks or chase manhattan or i mean they need help too i mean everybody's

suffering right ruth chris i mean nike yeah no no none of those have received help you you uh i was just in i was in florida last week on tour you were in miami last week i don't know how bad is in new york but it was weird seeing uh how florida there's just a different breed man like they were eating in restaurants they were you know i was getting yelled at because i had a mask on it was strange so i've been in miami for every like big event recently like super bowl art basel you name it i've been there it was never busier than it was this week. Agree. It was because everyone's leaving everywhere else. So it's like, get me out of New York, get me out of LA. There's people from all over there.

I mean, it was madness. Do you think something happens after this pandemic where New York and LA aren't the center of the universes anymore? And do you see other cities in the country kind of becoming more interesting? And especially if they raise taxes, you think there's more of an entrepreneurial culture might be in a place like austin or nashville or florida yes

like i i do and and i don't know if that's the goal to a degree yeah insane but i think there's a real chance that you know a miami and in the mayor there certainly realizes it is wildly aggressive trying to get companies to go there. You hear everyone going to Austin, Nashville. Yeah. I mean, at some level, it seems like a New York or an L.A. doesn't want business. Right. Yeah, it's very strange. And they don't care when people leave, when these huge businesses leave.

They're complacent. They've been too big for too long, and I don't think they – it's like somebody that's been making money for so long, they forgot the ingredients that made them successful. Dave, have you thought about leaving New York at all? Because in L.A., it's a shitstorm. Like all our friends left. Me and Tim are the only ones left.

Yeah, we're it. That's it. Yeah, no, so I'm going back to Miami today, and I'm debating getting a place there but would you move the whole barstool operation down there i taxes would but i if enough people here are like yeah we're behind it me personally i do in two seconds but i'm not gonna make like everybody relocate out there but if people like yeah let's i'm down for it i mean the tax difference i have people every single day now that i've become a little more successful with barstool we're like you're

an idiot like the tax you're getting murdered in taxes for what it's like it's so much cheaper in florida and the weather and the girls and everything else fair point yeah it's just better well great that's a great fucking thing you're doing. And I wish that, what can people do if they want to give you money? So everything is at Barstoolfund.com. That's both. If you're a struggling business, you can submit an application. We look for a video, tell your story. And there's a form, give us all the info.

And if you want to donate, it's there as well. And the thing that I just keep stressing, we've raised a lot, relatively speaking, but it's really a little for the need. So every dollar matters and the beauty, I think what we're doing and why we're doing it, we get the money and we get it out. Like the second, within 72 hours of us contacting the business, the money is in their account. We're not going away after one month. We're there till the pandemic's done because what's the point of giving somebody money? And then three months later, they're in the same spot right so it is a good cause we're doing the best we can um and we're helping a lot of people you're doing the lord's work well we're

gonna i don't know if this even helps at all we're gonna donate five thousand dollars from king of the sting to the donation it helps everything helps i appreciate it i'm gonna apply i'm gonna apply for the thousand that you donated so i donated. So I hope that evens out. And we'll see what happens. Struggling podcast needs money. Yes, yes. Have any celebrities jumped on board and got behind this movement? Yeah, Dana White did $100,000.

It took him one second. We called him out because I know him. He's like, yeah, I think I could have named a million of you. He would have done it. He did it so fast. Tom Brady did it. Edelman did it. Kid Rock, unsolicited,

called me out of the blue, donated $100,000. I was on the phone with Sylvester Stallone yesterday. So a lot are coming forward. I want Elon Musk. I bet Elon would do it, right? He's got infinity money. it's right up his alley.

He just sold all his cribs in Beverly Hills. He had like three of them all next door. He sold all of them. Now he's in Texas. Yeah, he'll do it. I tweeted at him, but I don't know him personally. Right. Do you know Elon?

I don't know Elon at all. I mean, I know of him. Do you know anyone who's like – I've met him. I met him briefly. I guess Rogan's the closest thing to mean, I know. I mean, I know of him. Do you know anyone who's like. I've met him. I've met him briefly. I guess Rogan's the closest thing to him that we know. I was just about to say, you know, Rogan has. Feel free to get him.

Everyone's hitting me up. It seems like right up his alley. Feel free to have him give it a shout out. It seems like something he'd be behind, too. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. We'll try.

Yeah, I'll try. Elon, I can't make any promises, but I'll text Rogan for you. Yeah. All right. Well, that can't make any promises, but I'll text Rogan for you. All right. Well, that's good enough. Yeah. Have you been able to do your pizza previews show? Yeah, that never ends.

Those are daily, still going. You've had no problem finding spots and shit? No, because you can still get the pizza there now. I'm jealous of that, man, because I do a food show, but it's not just me I have to have guests on because of COVID. It's been a nightmare. Have you buried the hatchet with Bryce Hall?

I know that you guys – He's the softest human of all time. He's a TikTok. Literally, I've never seen a guy with thinner skin in my life. Yeah, he's got a hot, you had a great point. You go, you got a hot girlfriend, you got all the money, you just enjoy life, right? Yeah.

A girl, we said he looked like Sid from Ice Age. He's acting like we called him Hitler. It makes no sense. Yeah, yeah. Young kids, but it's funny. That's a funny podcast he does. He does a podcast with like a young kid. Dave does?

Yeah, he does it with a younger guy. A TikToker. Yeah, but it's interesting the tiktok world's weird right both strange world you boys got into it it's a very interesting world they're uh they're mega stars they're like massive crazy yes and how long does it last dave another another 11 months i don't know i mean i think the big ones are here to stay like they might be ray that the mellows yeah josh but the vine stars beg to differ but yeah yeah but even if you look like logan and logan paul and jake paul they're viners there's there

there's yeah that's fair i think that kid josh is really smart and i think people like him will figure out a way to stick around agree yeah dave are you into like the lo, Floyd Mayweather stuff and the Jake Paul fights? I am. All right. So I thought Jake Paul would lose to Nate Robinson because I was of the impression. I don't care what Jake is. Nate's a professional basketball player. His athletic skill will overwhelm him.

The knockout, the way he did it, it's like, whoa, what just happened? And Logan is so much bigger than Floyd, and Floyd is old. Now, I don't know the actual format of how it's going to be, like exhibition, but I'm curious, and I'm curious to see. I thought Jake would fight Dylan Danis next. That's obviously a much different can of worms, but I would have been interested i i wasn't interested in the first fight i'll be interested in both their next

me too me too 100 before we get you out of dave who who do you have win the super bowl i know you're a big sports guy bills the bills yeah josh ellen's fucking awesome stud buffalo could use that buffalo could use all the help they can get. Yeah. That will be their bailout. If the bills went, that's all they care about. Hey,

didn't I hear in Buffalo? Because you know, the bill mafia, listen, I had a cappuccino with the Buffalo bills. I was on the team for eight days, so I can talk like this. They,

I had to try out with them anyway. Um, the Buffalo bills, they're the, the bills mafia. Did, didn't they threaten like the, the governor Cuomo? Like we have to see the gameills mafia, didn't they threaten the governor, Cuomo,

like we have to see the game? So I think they're allowing in like 6,500 people or something like that. And I'm sure the tickets are going to be insane. I don't even know. I assume they're season ticket holders. I have no idea how that works, but yes. I heard they are requiring a COVID test, and they got an official COVID test partner and you have to pay $60 to this specific COVID testing place, even though there's free ones in New York.

So it's kind of a bad luck. There'll be no fraud with that. Yeah. Zero fraud. Dude, if I had to get a COVID test for every single restaurant, movie theater, sports shit, I would get a test every single place they asked me to go. Yeah. Just to go. That's yeah, just to go. That's the world we live in.

Well, great job, Dave. Thanks for doing all this for people. Maybe one day the government will follow in your footsteps. You know, hopefully. That's the only way they're going to solve it or just open it, one or the other. Yeah. Well, maybe we'll run into you in Miami when you move operations there, my man. All right.

Talk to you guys later. All right, brother. See you. Great, bye. We helped some people today. We helped some people, I think. By help, I think we paid for another night on his yacht. We did it.

We did it. I appreciate them. All of them. I love Barstool. I've always fucked with Barstool. Yeah, they're cool people. Caleb Presley hooked this up, and he's one of the funniest guys there. He does some parodies of NFL Sunday conversations.

You know who's a funny kid? There's this kid named Little Sasquatch on Twitter that works for them. He's kind of funny. He's funny on Twitter. He goes viral. Big Cat's, like, the most talented. Like, if you were to go out on his own, he's a super talented kid. I've heard of him, but I don't know.

Yeah, monster. And the Anus Guys, a new untold story. It's KB and Nick Tarani. They can improv. Whatever happened to the show uh call call her daddy call us daddy that's still number one they they the girl split up sofia the other one is she's off doing her own podcast that scooter braun is behind people think and then uh alex cooper is still killing it with call her daddy yeah she was great i had them on fire in

the kid it was me and Santino. We didn't know who they were. They didn't know who we were, so it was awkward. Her podcast kept Barstool from laying off anybody over the pandemic because they make so much money on merch. That's why when they had the deal where they were going to split because they wanted more money, Barstool was like, okay, once this contract is up, you can have the IP. Because if they just held out and didn't do podcasts over the pandemic,

they would have to lay a bunch of people off. Good for them, man. Yeah, they got paid. And the other girl did too. I think it worked out well for everybody. And is the other girl still with Barstool, or she got out? No, she got out. She got out.

Yeah, I heard her boyfriend at times. It was a bad move. Yeah, bad move. Well, it worked out for everyone. Shout out to Dave Portnoy. Yeah, good for him. Shout out to you, man. We're back at this next week.

Yeah, I'll be back next week. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. You can let the people come next week. I feel bad. I didn't realize how integral they are. Well, I fired them. I fired Chappelle and Kat because I told them you don't want to see their faces.

Well, I pay a lot of money to not see their faces. Let's be very honest. You know my area Maybe we'll have a white culture corner So Tim feels safe I appreciate it Alright man, hey I'm in San Marcos, Texas January 29th and 30th

So Texas get your mind right And get your mask on Thanks Thank you. Like Andrew Santino Every song I hit Like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso And the quesoritos But everything's Gonna be fine Hate on me I do not mind Theo looking like

The type of dude That got a pack of matches In his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you Tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS

You don't want to smoke Like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded And I'm feeling incredible. Brennan's son hit me up. He said it's too loud in the club. Can you pick me up?

King in the sting. King in the sting. King in the sting. Bee sting. Rat king. King in the sting. King in the sting. Got the bees in the trap.

Got the cheese on a string. King in the sting. King in the sting, got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string, king in the sting, king in the sting, king in the sting, bee sting rat king, king in the sting, king in the sting, got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string. Strangling