The Golden Hour - Episode 107: The People's Court

Episode Date: February 5, 2021

Theo is back in studio and the guys talk Hot Sauces, Michael Chandler, Bobby Lee and Dustin Poirier, Pronouns, Trans Debate Club Question, Nick's Porn Star Hookup, Super Bowl Picks, All New Clown My Hound and Race My Case's, Rogan vs Oprah and much more! Kats Merch - https://KATSmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

diamonds are forever they say diamonds are a girl's best friend i don't say that i don't say that either but i am saying blue now.com the original online jeweler for high income adults wow ballas get your diamonds and the thing about diamonds is man diamonds used to be underground so you couldn't even get them but those days have changed and now a diamond is i mean you could you know now you have access to diamonds and who can help you blue nile.com oh you ain't lying man and also valentine's day is coming up maybe it's your girl or man's birthday yeah i'm not into men's anymore man women women women what i'm telling you is this right here brother is that a good a lot of y'all men ain't going to do any better than the dime that you win. And that's honest.

And that's true for all of us men. We keep thinking, no, this is going to happen. I might go to France and backpack. You ain't doing shit, little Henry. All right? So get your girl at rock, bro. You know what I'm saying? But you can go to bluenow.com.

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So it's not going to give it away, man. Yeah. It might say beef on the outside, you know, or textile. It might say kimchi on the outside. Yeah, your girl's like, I ain't opening this. And then you, bam. Boom. Diamond. You hit it with that freaking.

What's up? That land rock, dog. Hell yeah. They got good diamonds, too. And no surprise, you can give you a beautiful diamond. Shop stress-free and find your forever peace. Go to bluenile.com you rich rich now man i'm not that rich man i mean i got 200 on my neck four actually it's 400 300 100 um

you got a thousand in your butt i'll say that's true i got a thousand in my butt dog yeah back off my broccolini get your life together it is don't touch me bro i'm not touching you funniest shit ever uh i texted fucking uh since channel is coming out here i was gonna maybe try and just meet up with him and his brother later or something yeah because i've been trying to meet his brother for a while uh and i texted bobby i said i don't know if you're a um fight fan michael channel is gonna be out here and he goes i thought hooker won bobby lee said that yeah channel coming on food truck yeah that'd be good, man. He was just out here, too. Was he for what?

He was out here probably a month and a half ago, too much. Right when he signed with the UFC, he flew out here. We were his first interview. And he was like, it's Poirier, Gaethje, or Conor. It's the only three people I'm fighting. And when Hooker got out, I went, yeah, you thought wrong, dog. UFC don't play like that. It's wild, bro.

Dude, I'm wondering, they got that transgender fighter, too, now. Which one? What'd they say about it? You saw it, huh, Nick? There's no transgender fighter in the UFC? A new one? You're not talking about the old one, Fallon Fox, are you? Uh, no.

One of them died, I think, in the overdose or something. No, you're thinking of, what's her name? The big WWE chick. Is that who it is? Yeah. If you're transgender, who do you think you should have to fight, man or woman? Are you a man transition to a woman? Because if you got that man physique, the man bones, you got to fight other men.

Or we create just a straight up this is her league for transgender people Wow looks like the rocks dad definitely not you sound for this big ol heifer oh man that would be she got that stepdaddy energy to she got that angry step daddy does energy. Yeah, she does. Nyla Rose. There she is. Dang. That looks like that big girl beating your ass in Nashville. Dang.

Oh, yeah. That's beast mode. Big Gene, dog. Big Gene, bro, put me out. Didn't you fuck up your neck? Dude, I hurt my neck cheering for frickin' Correa at the fight. Oh, I got your cash. Oh, you do? Yeah, you want it in person? Yeah, I'll take it in person.in' Correa at the fight. Oh, I got your cash. Oh, you do?

Yeah, you want it in person? Yeah, I'll take it in person. Yeah, let me get that cash. Buy $1,000 worth of fuckin' hot sauce. I just got a new shirt. That's what you got? Yeah. Where's that from?

It's $25. I'm not sure. I got these chains, too, baby. How much your chain cost, you think? How much mine? Different game, daddy-o. Really? Different game.

You got that new money. I bet I got a better deal than you. 400. Yeah, I bet mine's real, though. I bet you I can shower with mine. Oh, tears. I wouldn't treat my gold like that. These are 400.

One's 300, one's 100. I got to make sure I don't give you too much, man. I can't have you taking the extra and sniffing it. Yeah, yeah. Good point. There I am too much, man. I can't have you taking the extra and sniffing it. Yeah, yeah. Good point. There I am right there, bro. You give me too much money, bro. That's me getting my shots the other day on my neck, dude.

That's you getting that vaccination? Oh, I said put one of them right into my... They give me a shot glass, I tore it off. You look like you're going to sell merch at a COVID fucking testing facility. Yeah, boy. The diamond is a boy's best friend, baby. I'll tell you that. Dude, buy a grand worth of hot sauce, dog.

I'm going to buy something. I just bought somebody some hot sauce. I've been buying hot sauce. I got enough at the house. Yeah, I feel like you got ownership. I got a damn gallon at the house. You've been pushing that shit on this show like a motherfucker. I wonder how much he sold after the fight.

You think he sold a lot? I don't think so. He tweeted the other day, Sauce Boss. So I think it's doing alright. Can you name anybody else? I know Steve-O has a hot sauce, but the name of it doesn't make me want to put it on anything. It's called Hot Sauce for Your Asshole

or something like that. That's stupid. Yeah, it's too much. That's absolutely retarded. T.J. Dillashaw has one? No, the guy who we had on here. T.J. Miller? Yeah, he has his own hot sauce. He has a hot sauce?

Yeah. Evidently, he's really passionate about it. Evidently, it's vodka infused. He's the only person that came on this past weekend with a bloody Marriott at freaking 11.15 in the morning. He's such a savage. Ooh, this is going to be huge for Dustin. Hot Ones? No way.

And then he puts his hot sauce on it? Yeah. Good for him. Is he through Zoom? I'm not trying to see the Hot Ones on Zoom. Nah. Oh, it's through Zoom, I bet. Also, could they have gotten a different picture of him?

This one looks like he just got out of prison yeah you know what i'm saying like hot ones and some guy looks like he got out of prison has a whole different vibe to it i feel like hot ones yeah the diamond on hot ones that shit sucks via zoom though yeah they shouldn't have it via zoom but the good thing is he'll be able to sneak his own sauce in so that's pretty dope it's good sauce man i like it it doesn't make my butt hurt or nothing sauce boss so i hope it's going well for him dude i'll tell you what's not going well out there is all these different you know a lot of people have different pronouns these days i'm him but um dude i hit on this girl right and in nassau la This is in L.A. Okay.

You got to watch your steps here in L.A., man. You don't know what it is these days. Dude, she said, what did she say? She goes, do you like men? And I was like, no. I mean, I like men. They're cool. I don't like men anymore.

Oh. Women, women, women, women, women. Yeah, yeah. He tried. I'll say this. He tried. Yeah, he did. He gave it a good old college try.

That dude made an effort, man. But yeah, she goes, oh, because I identify as a man. She's like, would you ever hook up with a guy? And I'm like, no. And then I didn't know what to do anymore. Yeah, because you don't want to offend her. Right. She's like, I identify as him, he.

And it was just hot shit. Yeah, I doubt that, Playboy. Yeah, because you don't want to offend her. Right. She's like, I identify as him, he. And it was just hot shit. Yeah, I doubt that, Playboy. Yeah, I doubt that. You mean the hot dude. No. Dude, hey, is this you coming out right now? Bro, no, dude. First of all, if I was gay, dude, I would be shocked.

Not me, especially after this story. We had a bar. What? He's like, hey, bro, you want a beer? And you're like, damn, you're sexy. Dude. Bro. You look like a fucking

janitor at wade robson's cabbage patch dude that's unbelievable first of all you guys don't understand that's a one piece yeah it's a jumper dog let me get for the fans bro white man yeah white man can't jumper i'll tell you that, bro. Damn. Dude, you can fucking paint in that bitch. You show up to paint. Look at that. Sauce daddy. Damn, bro. Dustin Poirier ain't the sauce daddy.

I'm the sauce daddy there, man. Damn, challenge right there. Challenge for the hot sauce king. Oh, yeah. So you're hitting on this transgender and didn't go well? She's like, well, would you hook up with a man? And I'm like, no. You're like, maybe.

Yeah, I mean, I'd hook up with a man and i'm like no you know maybe yeah i mean i'd hook up with a man like if we were like you know maybe if there was like a big storm or something but i'm hooking up with a man in fucking regular weather yeah if you get snowed in you might yeah if i get snowed in and all the women freeze to death you know and the guy keeps promising me he's a woman you know or eventually wants to be one no he has to promise he is but anyway so now i was just kind of strained i didn't know what to say to her say to him say to her it was her fucking look i look for i look for the adam's apple turnover i look for all of it the big hands oh no she didn't have any of it she was a woman

there was no doubt there was no doubt no there's doubt because it was not my pronouns are him his or the fuck it is your pronouns they's they, dude. You're thick ass. Your fucking pronoun. My pronoun's just thick. Your pronoun is more than one. Us. Dude, I'll tell you what. I've never been hit on a chick and ever thought to myself, I wonder what her pronouns are.

It's pretty clear. She forced the issue. Where were you at? Where were you at? I was at a coffee place. And it was so uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do, so I just bent down to tie my shoe, dude, and I had sandals on. So I kept just practicing on the sandal like you do when you're a fucking three-year-old, you know?

So how'd you leave it? She left, man. He left. Him and his fucking hot chicks. Him and the three hot chicks he was with all left. They got in their Hummer and drove off yeah he's got that h3 and drove the fuck off did she or he have big tits yeah she had two big tits yeah daddy was looking he was i like it bro that's what i'm saying there's you couldn't have just there's a lot of bad science out there for people trying to get the surgery and stuff

like that these doctors are good. I'll give you that, man. These doctors, especially in L.A., they'll get you. You ever heard the story of Brian? Uh-uh. When he was shooting. Which story? Well, a good story.

The story that matches this. Was this in the L.A. Times? No, this one, it might be after I tell the story. He was shooting The Hangover 2 in thailand or something and then the the boys went out you know there's a lot of lady boys out there and he said he said he was in a club and it's all dark and he's like making out he goes dude this chick was so hot make out make it out and he goes then she took my hand and just put it down there and he goes i felt a big root in nuts.

I go, damn, what'd you do, dude? He goes, I didn't want to offend her, so I just kept making out with her. Oh, dang. Bro, that look, I respect. Good dude, hashtag good dude. Yeah, hashtag good dude. Bro, why didn't they write that in the article with the accusations?

Yeah, man. That right there is like, what? You don't do that if you're some kind of deviant, you know? Yeah. Diamonds are forever. They say diamonds are a girl's best friend. I don't say that. I don't say that either, but I am saying BlueNile.com,

the original online jeweler for high-income adults. Wow, ballas, get your diamonds. And the thing about diamonds is, man, diamonds used to be underground, so you couldn't even get them. But those days have changed, and now a diamond is, I mean, you have access to diamonds. And who can help you? BlueNile.com. Ooh, you ain't lying, man. And also, Valentine's Day is coming up.

Maybe it's your girl or man's birthday. I'm not into men's anymore. Men's. Women, women, women. Women. What I'm telling you is this right here, brother, is that a good, a lot of y'all men ain't going to do any better than the dime that you with. And that's honest. And that's true for all of us men.

We keep thinking, no, this is going to happen. I might go to France and backpack. You ain't doing shit, little Henry. All right? So get your girl that rock, bro bro you know what i'm saying finger finger her up and get that rock for it yeah i don't say finger up though but you can go to blue now.com make the moment special man blue now.com king sting listeners get 50 off 500 right this is a podcast exclusive it's only good through valentine's day it includes

engagement all right go to use the code k-a-t-s that's code cats plus every order is insured ship free arrives in discreet little package so it's not gonna give it away man yeah it might say beef on the outside you know or textile might say kimchi on the outside yeah your girl's like i ain't opening this and then you bam boom diamond freaking what's up that land rock dog hell yeah good they got good diamonds too and no surprise you can give you a beautiful diamond shop stress-free and find your forever peace go to bluenile.com today mandatory talking points in yellow look the truth is if you haven't freaking uh taking care of your crotch with a razor, you probably never are going to. Yeah, so let's probably just skip past this ad.

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Get your pubes in and out the door in moments. Yeah, get that winter dick right. I wasn't going to play this one today. It was going to be for tomorrow or next week. This is one of our transgender listeners has an impromptu debate. All right. Let's hit this TG up. Hey, King of Sting.

This is Taylor from Massachusetts, and I had a debate club for you today. If you can't tell by my sultry voice, I am a transgender woman. I've been on hormone replacement therapy for about five years now. And as a result, I've nailed a to grow my own pair of homemade hitters. Now, my question for you today is, do you prefer natural breasts, or do you think that some big ol' fake chest pillows

would be a better option? I've always considered having a breast augmentation, but I've actually kind of grown to like my boobs, so any commentary or feedback would be welcome, and gang gang, D-Cubs. D-Cubs! Yeah, go D-Cubs. D-Cubs. Yeah, go D-Cubs, girl. Carson got them tits.

What's his name? This is from Lance. What's his name? Taylor. Taylor, my bad. Taylor. And that's kind of could go either way there. Great name.

Dude, Taylor for sure, dude. Tool man Taylor, dog. This dude tailored up his crotch, brother. You know what I'm saying? He's going into that. He's that haberdasher, baby. Dude, I'm never mad at the upgrade of the tits yeah or the chesticles as you call it oh yeah now a lot of people stole that term for you they did and I know a lot of people are Seth Rogen yeah you know Thievy Heave yes chesticles started with

Theo Vaughn all right speaking of sea cups Seth Rogen has them too. But I think a nice upgrade, always a fan. Yeah. Especially if it's well done. Now, if they're too high and they're set up in your chin, no, it's 2 on 21, baby. Drop them down. Oh, that's crazy. When people's real long in the rib and they get those top. And then I think the doctor looks like he tries to balance them on the rib cage,

like on the top of the rib cage. Yeah, you got to do it right, man. Doctors are so good. It's like a couple of fucking just gargoyles out there. Yeah. Like sometimes they're higher than the person's shoulder. You ever seen those women? Yeah, and they're looking over them like a mound.

Yeah. No, I like those chest hitters, man. I'm a fan. Look, five years of transing, it looks like it's coming in pretty decent, man. I'll say that. Man, you look like a beautiful young man, bro. Praise God. looks like it's coming in pretty decent man i'll say that man you look like a beautiful young man bro praise god and um tits are hard to grow too you gotta i would assume he or she's on estrogen so that's gonna make your tits pop a little bit yeah that's a lot of hard work you gotta soak

your front chest and it's fucking soy milk soaking almond milk dog yeah that'll do it too oh dude i think yeah i think you're doing good with them tits, man. And I think... And keep growing them, though. Don't stop. Yeah. Don't stop, daddy.

Dude, get big. Yeah, it's a marathon. Grow them bitches out. Wear a fucking thong on them, dog. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, dog. Get them bitches big. Yeah, put some Rogaine

on them bitches. Yeah, dog. And maybe sign up for an MMA class. Yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Get in there, dude. dude and in three years we'll be talking about you bro take it over you'll be bad you'll be fighting chef chinko bro nick are you a fan of the big tits uh natural is more uh more my speed i've only been with

one woman who had fake breasts it was porn star Mary Carey Wow Nick dropping fucking porn Wow She died right Yeah no she's still around Can I see her Would she be Labeled as a MILF these days Her brother's Jason what's his name

That MMA guy isn't he I didn't know that Oh good for you Nicholas She came on the adam carilla show and i shot my shot and how'd you shoot a shot with a porn star i literally just went up and basically just started a conversation she took it from there she like asked about my dick in the first conversation yeah oh yeah damn good for you typical daddy. Typical man trick. Walking up and starting a conversation, dude, with a sexist pig. And was it a good time, Nick? It was a great time, but the boobs were comically giant.

And you feel like the skin move away from the actual. But that's age. Yeah, yeah. That's age, man. I've always said it, man. As the women get older, it feels like the body's kind of stuck in a loose bag, a wet sack. Yeah, no one likes them wrinkly titties. Sometimes the skin hangs so low that it gets all wrinkly like a throat.

Dude, I met a girl one time. I was in this band. Let me go on the road with them. As a singer, as a damn backup singer, right? God damn, you were hustling, man. I was not doing well. I was such a bad singer, and they were such a bad band. I picture you going, ooh.

Ooh. No, it was that song. She banged. She banged. Ooh. The song they let me sing was called Lonesome Dove, and it was a country song. In lonesome dove. Yeah, it was bad.

Bro, you were hot, man. I was awesome, dude. I'll make it as a fucking coin, dog. What a comeback story, yeah. It was bad. Bro, you were hot, man. I was hot, dude. I'll make you some fucking coin, dog. What a comeback story, man. Look at you now, bro. Back to back with the Rio Grande. Yeah, it was, brother. It's a real comeback story.

So there was one other song that let me sing on, too. It was like a widespread panic. There was like maybe three songs on the song. One of them was that Ben, not Ben Harper. Who was the guy before Ben Harper? Bob Marley? No, the first mixed guy that really set it off. Lenny Kravitz?

You're talking about that genre though. Did he have dreads? I can't remember. I never saw him. I just heard the music. And did they fire you or did you quit? Well, I'm not sure what happened, but I do remember that

one time we were in uh somewhere in south carolina and i had to we did we'd done a show you know and afterwards we're fucking backstage or whatever not even backstage we're still in the bar it was just at a bar so we're just like in eventually it was so bad you just walked right off the front of the stage and nobody was there so we were front stage we were literally front stage and uh this uh lady came up to me dude this freaking crazy lady said she was a teacher school teacher or something and anyway anyway we ended up ended up uh making out and her breasts felt like shit diapers man like you could mold them and they would stay yeah like like the like the clay at spencer's or some shit or sharper image you'd squeeze it it and it just stays like that.

Yeah, it was just like that. That memory foam? Literally, yeah. She had memory foam tits? Yeah, she literally had them fucking, that tit-terpedic, you know? So I was like, I'd molded one into a Heisman, you know? I could just do a different shit with them. Put a smiley face on it.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. I molded one. I wrote the WNBA sucks with it. But. And how much did they pay you? Can't be much, bro. I think they just let me come with them.

I think maybe $150. You're just going for the experience. Oh, yeah. It was bad, man. It was stage time. Because I was going to do comedy comedy but then we tried the comedy didn't work and so then they're like well dude just get up here and sing with us yeah oh man you went through the ringers brother yeah i've been through it all baby whenever i

have some shit happen on the road i always take steel first like hey man this ever happened to you he's like man shut the fuck up i was singing in a strip club one time all right man i thought dan hooker won that fight uh this gentleman's wondering your guys's thoughts on uh the super bowl what up what up fellas your boy ryan from las vegas just want to start off by saying i'm a huge fan of the show uh and i got a debate club for you or it could be a king of the sting at either one but i just binge listened to every single episode of king in the sting and by the way it was super cool to see you guys evolve and see you guys transform from episode one to now but with binge listening i noticed i think it was episode 62 you guys when tom brady was talking about leaving the patriots right you guys joked around and said that i think there was talks about him going to the chargers

but you guys joked around and said tom brady was there was talks about him going to the Chargers, but you guys joked around and said Tom Brady was going to leave, and I think it was Brendan made a joke about Gronkowski going, and then Antonio Brown going, and then making it to the Super Bowl. Well, look, it's happened. They're all there. All three of them went there, and now they're all going to the Super Bowl.

So what do you guys think? What are your thoughts on Tom Brady making it to another Super Bowl? Do you think they can pull it off? Let me know what you guys think? What are your thoughts on Tom Brady making it to another Super Bowl? Do you think they can pull it off? Let me know what you guys think. I would love to hear your opinions. Thanks a lot, guys. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz.

Thanks for powering through all the episodes, my man. Wow. Unbelievable. I need to see a therapist after this. I want to see Tom Brady win. I'm rooting for Tom Brady. I mean, obviously the cool things to do is Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. Everybody's on their nuts. But I'm rooting for that old guns I mean, obviously, the cool things to do is Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. Everybody's on their nuts.

But I'm rooting for that old gunslinger, Tom Brady, man. Antonio Brown gets a fucking trophy. That'd be dope. Antonio Brown seems like a real fuck. I think it could be really. The spread's only three. Oh, no. I think, look, they definitely want to get a lot of people to bet on Tampa Bay.

I mean, I think there's a good chance that Kansas City could win by 12 points. They could bomb out, yeah. I mean, I think Tom Brady could get out there and lose it in the last drive. It seems like it could be that kind of game. I'm trying to think of what Tampa— You want to go double or nothing with that? You got cash? I'm pretty happy with my money.

And I already donated to the damn fucking shit thing, you know? Sorry, I'm just angry that i keep fucking donating money to this thing so but yeah the good fight foundation you can find it on dustin's website but um yeah i dude i think i think it's interesting to be able to cheer for a great quarterback now that he's separated from the team that everybody thought was like, it becomes like. They thought Belichick was like the secret sauce,

and we were like, he ain't shit but an asshole. Yeah. Well, he ain't shit without this dude, but, yeah, it's definitely Brady has a lot to do with it. Yeah, hell yeah. Everything to do with it. But Belichick also, he fucking picked Cam Newton. You know what I'm saying?

Like, that was just a horrible choice. They had nothing to do. You know, like they had nobody else. Yeah. Must have been up front off. Yeah. What are you doing for the – are you doing anything for the Super Bowl? Are you going to be in L.A.?

Are you going to be in Nashville? I'll probably be in Nashville. All right. Have a Super Bowl party. Michael Chandler invited me over. You are having one? If I'm here, I'll come. All right.

I've been before to your Super Bowl party, haven't I? I'm sure, yeah. Every year. So – but, yeah, look, man, I don't know. What is your prediction? I'll bet the over of i think 56 so i'll bet the over and i'm hoping the tampa bay buccaneers win but it's tough man paschal mahomes so fucking good he's just so good they're so good tyree kill is insane the cheetah his three legs dude someone had said his dick has an ankle on it

yeah he's a beast that's unfair you know what i'm saying check that dude's fucking dick somebody said he got a massage on his dick the other day i'm sure man that because he fucking sprained it doing a turn that's insane yeah i'm going for tampa but it's gonna be a tough one somebody said he had fucking turf toe in the end of his dick okay he had to get his dick wrapped yeah he had tinnitus in his penis i heard his dick has cte from bouncing around while he's running the routes oh dude somebody said his dick was in a neck brace from fucking Whiplash from one of the fucking guys.

I heard his dick has a visor. Why? I don't know. Yeah, you're right. The return of... Here comes the complete opposite of Tyree Kill.

This is the return of Clow My Hound. These people did great. They sent in videos. Oh, hell yeah. Bring his little fucking pucks out. And look, before we go, I want to say, look, to the transgender guy, keep going,ound. These people did great. They sent in videos. Oh, hell yeah. Bring these little fucking pucks up. Before we go, I want to say, look, to the transgender guy, keep going, man. Get as far as you can.

Buy a shield. Get a fucking dick. Get a titty. Do it all. Yeah, and then take some of that fat and put it in your ass, man. Yeah. Yeah, dog. Get that push for that cush, boy.

Get that Brazilian butt lift. Get that tip. Build that J in the tray, dog. Next thing you know, Theo's going to pick you up at a coffee shop. Look it up. I'm going to tie my sandal. She's from Massachusetts. He's from Massachusetts. She's from Massachusetts.

Dunkin' Donuts country. Oh yeah, there we go, dude. Cool coffee, nice coffee. That could be Theo's next wife, dog. You never know. Look, I'll tell Taylor. I'll tell Taylor, if you go all the way, bro, you go full throttle. You'll go on a date.

Get them nuts. Get de-nutted. Do all of that, man. De-nutted, though? Bro, first of all, mail them in if you get them taking off. You know what I'm saying? And we'll do something. We'll do a-

We'll put them in the studio. We'll bronze them and put them around Brennan's neck. We'll put a bell in them. That way we'll know when he's coming in i'm nuts he won't put you in the king's thing hall of fame you rip that dick off man here comes brendan yeah yeah dude you'll be in the culture corner for sure bro you got to bring that voice up an octave though too dude yeah you do a little deep right now yeah you sound too much like Chappelle. Yeah, you're coming in a little dark in the old throat. Let's see what this guy has.

What up, bromo-sexuals? Big fan of the show. It's Dave from Columbia, South Carolina. Hi, Dave. First off, today is my 33rd birthday. Shout out, Chappelle. Know you just had your 34th. Also, Theo. Been working on that GNHC. Shout out Chappelle Know you just had your 34th Also Theo

Been working on that GNHC Tell me what you think That's a business move Gender neutral haircut for all you fake fans Let's go I got a clown my hound for you today Check out my dog Tug And what we call Mr. Bo Dangles

Gang gang Dangle Bo Dangle This is my big homie pepper tug we say it's hard for him to walk he's an American Bulldog bull mastiff mix weighing in at a buck twenty but thirty every boy 13 years old That's a polar bear, bro. But Tug, he's got this little, what do they call it, skin tag. Oh. Hanging right next to his wiener. The vet says it doesn't bother him. What bothers him?

I call him Mr. Bo Dangles. Oh, that dog's disgusting. Oh, my gosh. Mr. Bo Dangles. Oh, that dog's disgusting. Oh, my gosh. Mr. Bo Dangles. That dog, obviously, his dad is a turkey. Bro, you gotta cut that off, dog. Yeah, and that looks like it'd be easy just to snip it, dude. Bro, that's a chicharrones, papa.

You gotta cut that off, dog. Papa, you got the ugliest polar bear I've ever seen. Oh, my God to cut that off. Papa, you got the ugliest polar bear I've ever seen. Oh, my God. Damn, bro. He has skin tags all over him. He has that weird growth out of his dick. Bro, he looks like an extra in The Wire. You got to tighten that pup up, son.

Yeah, man. Bro, send that pup to see Taylor, okay? Yeah. Send that pup to see Taylor. Whatever Doc's working with Taylor, send this pup there, man. Yeah, Taylor, you got to start a freaking pet clinic, bro. You got to re-up this pup, bro. Man, he got that.

Disgusting, bro. God, he got that nut hanging out, bro. He got that out nut. Cool. With that little purse package out the front man oh if you're listening to this on audio you gotta come to the video this is it's disgusting it's the worst off is it disgusting it's crazy bro pull it off dog yeah it looks like you just snip and he'd be all right i like how he goes don't worry it's he's fine with it oh yeah would

you be fine with that growth off your dick bro yeah you don't have a white man thing hook him up and you sleep in your bed that thing open your leg ah ah beautiful animal though dude i think i'm nah man that thing's ugly oh come on man you got a shape got that weird nut extra nut hanging off i'll say what i do like though he's an american bulldog dude you know what i'm saying yeah you know what i'm saying you're sucking off the statue of liberty's tit bro and i like that dude you know what i'm saying keep that us of fucking a look at this little hound historic hound damn uh this one comes from uh dave from massachusetts this is ziggy he's a four-year-old boston terrier from the same guy that just sent it in sorry oh no thatug. Did I say the other one was?

No, this dog named Dave. Dave sent this in. This dog is Ziggy. The other dog was Tug or Mr. Bojangles. Yeah, they need to put Mr. Bojangles down. Let's be real.

Let's call it like we see it, man. Yeah, that little bitty piece of him is already dead. No, this is Ziggy. He's a four-year-old Boston Terrier from Massachusetts, recently a new father. Attached is his Tinder profile picture for any bitches trying to get pregnant.

Hell yeah. And we've got his latest Conception video and a picture of him and his daughter from said Conception. That's a good-looking hound, man. I grew up with a Boston Terrier named Spud. Oh, there you go. Oh. Oh, that's my mood.

Oh, yeah, look at Oh. Oh, that's my mood. Oh, yeah. Look at Theo at the coffee shop. And then here's the- Whoa, don't let the kid get that close while they're having sex, bro. That's insane, dude. Is that sex? Dogs get stuck together after sex a lot. Why?

Because the dick swells inside there before it goes down. And so this is like the aftermath. But then this is- What? This is another reason why Taylor needs to open up that shop shop as you were saying theo what are you what is this what something my girlfriend just told me about this and this video came in but yeah it's like a real problem where the dick gets entangled it happens all the time to dogs oh wow but yeah he's in there oh why is it why you let that kid go by while these dogs are fucking in the living room?

The kid's like, what's wrong with the dog, man? What's wrong with Ziggy, dad? He touched one of them on the back. Bro, that dog was not down, dude. Look, go real slow. That dog was not down. He did not touch him, actually. Go real slow when he walks by.

That dog was not down. He's clean. That dog was not down. He's clean. That dog was not down, dude. That guy's the worst free safety in the world, bro. This is like the Minnesota Miracle, and that dude is that black guy from New Orleans. Dude, why is a kid out there when the dogs are having sex? That dog fucks, man. Bro, what are you talking about?

There's a kid out there. Oh, and he got a dick on him. Oh, my God. Hounds, man. Bro, what are you talking about? There's a kid out there. Oh, and he got a dick on him. Oh, my God. Hound City, baby. And then here's his new little child. Oh, damn. Those things are cute, man. Oh, look how much he aged after having the kid.

Yeah. My God, he looks 70 years old now. Kids will do it to you, man. It's like when they show a president eight years later, and they're all grayed out. Cute hounds, though. Man, that hound got a dick on him. I didn't look.

You can't miss it, man. Huh? You can't miss it. If you don't look at it, you can't. All right. Oh, there you go. There it is. What a legend, man.

I'm not looking at it. First team all dick. But yeah, those were some great Clown My Hounds. Great submissions. Keep sending in those videos. Wow, beautiful animal. And this is a French Bulldog? No, this isn't.

No, that's a Boston Terrier. Yeah. Yeah, Boston Terrier. Boston Terriers are weird, though, because their little tails stick up in the air. So when you get near them, they're just black assholes. They're just always out. Oh, that's too much. Yeah, it's too much.

So this came in another return segment, Race My Case. This came in from Justin. He did an incredible job, found three cases, and really did it up. Gang, let's see this, man. Thank you, Justin. How you doing, King of the Sting crew? My name is Judge Justin. I'm bringing you guys one of my favorite segments you do on the show

called Race My Case. Let's get into it. Okay. One thing being a judge, I come across a lot of these idiots, so bear with me. Here's one of them. A nasty hotel housekeeper took a woman's panties from her room and left his number in exchange. A group of female guests staying at the Riverside Hotel and Casino out of Laughlin, Nevada, told police that they returned to their room after a soccer tournament,

only to find that their panties were missing and a note was there instead. What'd the note say, though? The note read, text me if you want your panties back. Oh, that's a black guy. The gentleman also demanded nude photos in the process. Hell yeah. So I guess the ladies ended up texting him, and he started asking for them nudes. What a guy.

Looks like in the process, a pair of wireless earbuds was also taken. Wow. It's unfortunate you can't trust housekeepers. I know all of them aren't like that, but Jesus. You said it's unfortunate. Anyway, boys, who's holding these panties hostage? I need your help. Gang, gang. Judge, second. Anyway, boys, who's holding these panties hostage? I need your help. Gang, gang.

Judge, judge. Oh, tight move. That's awesome, man. We got to tag him up on this. Justin is his name? That's Judge Justin, dude. Listen, man. Well, Your Honor, you got to do it like that.

Your Honor. Well, Your Honor, this is a pretty clear case here. You present your case and I'll present mine. I'm going to present your case because any janitor or house cleaner that's going to steal some wireless earbuds and jam while cleaning, definitely urban-ish. I'm going to go with black. And then ask for nudes from these big old BBWs. Yeah. Look, your honor, I would like to say that anybody that's, yeah, I think if somebody's taking the.

It's in Nevada, so it's so dicey, too, because it's a weird Nevada. Anything could be in Nevada. And a casino, so that leans heavily Asian out of the gate. I'm going to say. Indian, Asian, or black. And then also to leave the note though, take the wireless headphones. I feel like a black guy would just say it straight up. Holler at me, boo.

You know, from outside in the hall. Yeah, you're right. Holla boo. Yeah. Got your panties in the back. So I'm going to go white on this. Actually, I'm going to go white. I just see it being, even though you don't see a lot, they said it was a man, right?

Yeah. Who are men? Who are men that are room cleaners? Black men, you think? I don't think I've ever seen one. Sometimes you see, I feel like an African guy. Sometimes I'll see a- Ethiopian. Yes.

Yes. Sometimes you'll see a Mexican. I can't. Last time, I can't. I can't remember the last time I've seen a white guy that was a guy that was room cleaner never you know i just don't think that i have so i'm gonna go also then i'm gonna go i'm gonna go because the note is the part that's throwing me off you know casino and the weird part of nevada has native american written all over but i'm gonna stick with black okay i'll take this one for you then Then I'll roll Native American.

I'm saying somebody just, you know, I think the note and- And the Dreamcatcher give it away too. Yeah, the Dreamcatcher could give it away. But yeah, I'm going to go Native American. What gave it away? The note and the fucking rain stick? Also the bad negotiations. Native Americans had some bad negotiations.

Historic. You know, that's historic yeah and so i think the bad negotiation is in hey i i'll trade look if you want your panties back to holler at me send nudes right then the send nudes was the dumb part it was like that's the black guy i think but that was the horrible part of the negotiation also the name here's my other thing i would like to know what these women look like. There's some BBWs, some big butt women, big beautiful women, white women. They're at a soccer tournament. What do you got, Nick? He was Native American.

Booyakasha! Hey, not only is he Native American, but he's cross-eyed. He might not be cross-eyed, dude. They have a lot of different talents. Yeah, well, that one's coc-eyed and has a forehead on him. That's also a Native American mega-mind. A lot of Native Americans can see like four different directions,

you idiot. Yeah, this one can't though, you know? Maybe Sendudes was his Native American name. Just his signature. He wasn't even asking for dirty pics. Good call, Nick. We got a second one. Judge Justin coming in hot. That was a good one. He wasn't even asking for dirty pics. Good call, Nick. We got a second one. Judge Justin coming in hot. That was a good one.

He's got three great, great cases. So this is number two. That one was good, man. We were on it. We kind of sniffed the case out, though. That was really good investigating. We kind of sniffed it out. Here's fucking Judge Justin in his back, man.

He's funny. And bro, yeah judge justin is good 26 year old was pulled over for speeding when the cop approached his window they can smell a strong odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle that's white after police did a short search of the man's car in person they found a bunch of different drugs on this guy i mean he didn't miss he had it all and they also found a large amount of money. So, when they took him into the jail,

they did an inventory check, turned over all the drugs, and now they were looking for the money. They couldn't find the money. That's when they did another short search of the person and everything that was going on, only to find that there was a $20 bill sticking out of his ass, like one of those dancers at Magic City.

So I guess the dude had a little tail feather of a $20 bill sticking out of his butt cheeks, and that caused officers to have to do an unfortunate lengthy search to this man's ass crack. And it turns out that he stashed almost $1,100 up there. Ooh. My man. Gang, gang, judge, judge.

Where's my case, boys? Help me find this one out. We need to get this guy out. Gang, gang, judge, judge. Judge, judge. Race my case, boys. Help me find this one out. We need to get this guy out. We need to get him some help. First of all, look, your honor, your honor, Justin, what I want to say is that obviously this man is doing his best out there. I'm tired of the drug dealers being called the bad guys. They're at least doing business. You know what I'm tired of the drug dealers being called the bad guys. They're at least doing business.

You know what I'm saying? If you're a drug user, man, that's really the part that you're not making any money and you're just using drugs. At least a drug dealer is doing business. It's kind of messed up. I understand if he's dealing drugs and if it's against the law, take the drugs. I don't necessarily think it's fair to take the money, though. Especially when he made the sacrifice

and put it in his butt. Look, dude, I have a rule where I'm from. If and put in his butt yeah if he put look dude i have a rule where i'm from if something's in your butt it's yours yeah me too man shout to aurora that's how we roll praise god cops know that yeah i'm gonna go with cops so there needs to be more cop respect but on the racial uh edge of things bro yeah that's the street rules bro money hang up my ass that's mine that's my money, dog. Yeah. I'm going white. You're going white on this one?

A lot of drugs. Like, different kind of drugs. Smell of marijuana. But the smell of marijuana thing is, because every time a black guy is pulled, there's marijuana, and they're like, they're always shocked. They're like, what are you, like,

they didn't know you can't smoke marijuana. Yeah, the smoke comes out of the car. I'd like to know what kind of car it was, and I'd like to know what city it was in. You know what? I'm going to go Mexican on this, man. I'm taking a flyer on it. I'm going Mexican. I'm going white.

He's a black guy. Wow. That man put all that money in his booty hole. Is that Draymond Green, too? Or am I racist? Wait, is that Chappelle? Dude, that almost does look like Chappellelle if he did very similar to chapelle if he didn't really get things together if chapelle was still drinking that's him man i kind of feel bad the guy i feel like you know

i feel like you really need that money well dealing the drugs isn't helpful to nothing man you know but someone's to do it, though. Yeah, somebody's going to do it. Can't let all the cartel get the money. Damn, I should have guessed black. I was on to black, and you fucking talked me out of it. I said white. I'm 0 for 2.

So no tiebreaker needed. Do we want to save it for the next time? Let's save it, I think. Yeah, save it. This guy's good, though. Check Theo. Where did he put that $1,000? If it's in his. Yeah, save it. This guy's good, though. Check Theo. Where'd he put that $1,000? Dun-dun-dun.

If it's in his butt, it's his. Dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun. Judge Justin. All right. We'll move on to some debate clubs. DJ Khaled. What's good?

What's good, Theo? What's good, Brendan? What's up, Playboy? Special shout-out, you know what I mean, from Brooklyn. Feel me? This is a debate club question, but before that, I want to get some of my AKAs out there, you know what I mean? Daddy got some pipes. John Daly and the

Beautiful Brown Stallion, a.k.a. Girth Oberwerth, a.k.a. Sickum on your favorite thickum, a.k.a. motherfucking fuck all that shit. I always saw Joe Rogan as the Oprah. You know what I mean?

For us men holding it down. You feel me? Amen. And the big club, man. Joe motherfucking renegade YouTube taking over Rogan. Or motherfucking Oprah. Billy Nairn. Billy Goat.

Winfrey. You feel me? Choose wisely, y'all. Special shout out to y'all, man. Keep doing your thing. Girth, girth. Girth, girth. Or whatever the fuck.

Yeah, you didn't know what to say. Gang, man. And that's fine. Yep, I like that you didn't even know what to say and you kept on saying it, bro. Yeah, you just stuck with it, bro. Yeah, that's nice. You really sold it. That's nice that you just weren't afraid to just do whatever and put it out there, man. Respect.

That's a great question, man. That's a good question. So he's saying Oprah or Rogan? Yeah, I think like most influential kind of. Well, for the bros, can you name another person's more influential than Joe Rogan? Did he say man though or did he say overall? He just said Joe Rogan or Oprah.

I'm going to say for influential, I'm going to say Joe Rogan. Me too. Because, I mean, you know how, dude, I could throw a fucking nickel right now and hit 45 fucking dudes. You know, white belts who are fucking, you know, grilling. Tattooed up and on TRT. Yeah, grilling ostrich neck on the fucking. Yeah, full of alpha brain.

Yeah, on their back, in their backyard. Alpha brain, dog. you know what i'm saying like i could fucking i could hit a nickel i could hit 50 of these so inspirational like and think how many people joe's put on now oprah put on you know dr phil came from him but that's really it that's about it oprah probably could have put a lot more people on she's a selfish bitch well i don't and i don't know what she's like. Me neither. But she's definitely more the Hollywood side of things, you know.

I think she's a great interviewer. I think she has a great voice. But Oprah couldn't interview like Elon Musk, like Joseph Rogan. No. Rogan have Elon Musk on, then Joey Diaz, then my dumb ass. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And they're all entertaining.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's. And I also think if people go on that show, everything can be edited, you know? And also. If you go on Rogan's, you're fucked. Oh, you say something bad and you be like, hey, man, can you take this out? No. Yeah.

He doesn't edit anything. The other thing is, is think about all the people Rogan's put on their careers. Think about it, dude. Everybody in here. Pretty much. Everybody in here. Think about it everybody in here pretty much everybody in here think about it sagura used to open for him joey diaz ian edwards and we can go through all ari shafir what'd you say duncan trussell i mean there's so many fucking people also but although the people that he's put on to other people also like i mean a lot of comedians have also been working their career

like you know i'm not gonna going to show him a platform. I gave him a platform. Oh, no, I'm not saying that they wouldn't have made it without him because the talent's undeniable. Like you coming on firing the kid, you, your talent, whether you came on firing the kid or you came on Rogan or you came on, you know, Schultz is brilliant idiots. Your talent would have came through no matter what. We're just, I was just fortunate to have you a phone call away and come on Fighting the Kid. But you're also welcome, you know? Yeah. Well, thank you for having me, too.

No, I'm just kidding. No, I'm serious, though. Dude, thank you guys for having me, bro. I wouldn't be podcasting today if you guys didn't have me on there. Yeah, you took over our studio. You know? That's true, man. We fucking literally moved in.

You know what? You moved in. You know what popped up on my story the other day on youtube you know there's an algorithm our first episode ever together and at fox oh when y'all's old and you and i didn't know each other i'm like yo man i've heard good nothing but good things about you yeah i gotta go back and watch some of it and you're pushing like your album oh the hamster bones yeah yeah that's a good album, dog. And you were like, I'm at Fish and Chip stand-up this week, four shows. I was like, God damn, Theo is a different dude.

You rich, rich now, man. I'm not that rich, man. I mean, I got 200 on my neck. Actually, it's 400, 300, and 100. You got 1,000 in your butt. I'll say that's true. I got 1,000 in my butt, dog. People are like, how rich are you?

I'm going to make the cops search me next time I get pulled over. I'm just literally going to bend over. That's when you fucking are pretty gay, I think. Yeah. They don't even try to search you and you get out and just bend over and have money in your butt. And you just say, happy Easter. That's the worst, bro. I would definitely say Rogan.

Yeah. And I think you're also asking two men like if he's asking Women's it might be different you know Even women's now though of course Our fans 1910 Yeah but a lot of men Um I think of this Rogan Doesn't need it but think if Rogan was like Yo I'm starting a podcast network

So anyone who's gonna start a podcast Before everyone and their mom had a podcast He created a who's going to start a podcast before everyone and their mom had a podcast he created a network and had all those people under his branch dog he'd be making more money than spotify pays him yeah he doesn't move like that though yeah he's like i'm not trying to own anything you guys do your own thing and also once you start doing it all becomes more work too i think it was smart yeah he played. I mean, he knows what he's doing. Just staying with what he's good at. And he just loves what he does.

I mean, he just. You should hear his plans for Austin. Really? I can't put it out there like that because he asked me not to talk about it. But, dog, when he tells you, you're like, oh, shit. Damn. Game changer. Well.

It's good for us because we'll have a spot to go to in Austin. You know, it's going to be a hub now for comedy. You have LA, Austin, Nashville, and New York as the hubs. That Cap City was getting a little bit ratchet. Yeah. Dude, but what else am I thinking? Yeah, and then Oprah, though. Oprah will put you...

I don't know. Joe kind of turned... Oprah was kind of before Rogan, though, in a weird way. She was way before Rogan. But her popularity even, because then it was like Ellen kind of came after Oprah. Remember? Because it used to be. She used to be on at like 3 o'clock.

My aunt used to have it on every day after school. Totally. And she had. She had a book club. Any book club she suggested just blew the fuck up. Kind of like Rogan, you know? Right. If he suggests.

You know how him and Anit got started? The owner of Anit, Aubrey, came on at the time there was no on it and he came on to push fleshlights and so they pushed fleshlights and it just sold out like a motherfucker then aubrey's like yo man we should do this alpha brain these nootropics together and so rogan pushed that and they literally couldn't fulfill the orders fast enough damn and then now it's it's on it, on it, you know? So like. Cock sucker. Self a brain.

When Joey DS sells it, bro. Tip top magoo. Look, man, a lot of people out there right now struggling, you know. I mean, hell, if you're watching this podcast, you're probably not doing that well. Let's be real honest. And if you're making it, you're probably not doing that well. Let's be real honest. And if you're making it, you're definitely not doing that well. Yeah, so get some help, man. I could have been on the Discovery Channel.

Yep. But what I'm telling you is get some help, man, and there's no better time to get help. We all have a friend that needs help, Brendan. And so every time and every now and then you see the man, your friend, and he out in the garbage or something, and he doing something. Maybe he got rabies or maybe he's a raccoon. Yeah. Don't talk to the raccoon, though. Yeah.

Don't talk to a licensed professional. That's why you need better help, man. It's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling. Stop looking at me, Swan. Yeah. Quit looking at me, Swan. Better help is committed to get you guys right, man.

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Super speciosia, man. You know the only way I can do this podcast or any podcast with the help of that kratom hitter you're talking about the all natural hitter you're on kratom still all the time really non-stop i didn't know that i thought you guys got tested for that whenever you see me i'm on kratom damn i swear by you want it too nick uh no i've never had it chin snorts it but the thing is is uh you gotta trust who you're getting your kratom from just the wild west out there man really yeah you never know where you're gonna get it that's why you bought some doja coin oh no no no no that's why you

gotta trust super speciosa they're the one in the game you can trust their kratom son all right and they're offering you guys 20 off and you gotta trust your kratom that's. All right? And they're offering you guys 20% off. And you gotta trust your Kratom. That's where Super Speciosa comes in for you guys. Go to GetSuperLeaf.com slash K-A-T-S. That's GetSuperLeaf.com slash cats. Enter the promo code cats for 20% off.

And that's GetSuperLeaf.com slash cats. Promo code cats. Here's Punky Johnson. What's up, Brandon? What's up, Theo? Quinn here from KC. You already know.

Super Bowl champs. Holding it down. The best athlete in the world. Patrick fucking Mahomes. New Orleans Saints. Denver Broncos. Ain't going to win shit anytime soon, Bronco. That's fair. Nothing soon. But shit, man, I'm over here. Well, thanks for all the positivity. soon, Bronco. That's fair. Nothing soon.

But shit, man, I'm over here. Well, thanks for all the positivity. We'll be back. Thanks, man. A couple days ago, man, I tested positive for COVID-19. It's been kind of a stretch, you know, rough stretch here the last couple days. But watching you guys, man, really helps me, man, lifts my spirits, man. I'm pushing through, bro. I'm going to be all right. Gang, bro. But shit, I got really helps me, man. Lifts my spirits, man. I'm pushing through, bro.

I'm going to be all right. Gang, bro. But shit, I got a debate club for you. When you were in elementary school, dodgeball or kickball? Ooh. Let's hear it. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Now I'm going to throw a curveball at you.

You ever played crazy kickball where you kick the ball and you can go to first or third and then you can just stay on the base and you pile up and you grab hands and get to the next base? Mm-mm. Ooh, crazy kickball it's good oh fantastic damn we didn't have we had some more bootleg shit like that we had looking for gold was a game we played just looking for gold outside um dude we had um red rover was always dangerous it's a dodgeball depended on who came back to school that day like some days we'd have a kid at school that was 30 years old and i was like this dude ain't supposed to be here but his mama dropped him off that day or something and he didn't he wasn't working or something you're playing dodgeball to grow man yeah so now you're like fuck dave's gonna win

yeah yeah yeah mr allen's gonna win you know and so sometimes that that was the only thing about dodgeball was there was no check and balance system. That Red Rover Red Rover sent Brendan right over. I come fucking barreling through that lane, Doug. My little fat ass is barreling through them, bitches. Those were the good

days. You can't do that anymore. Running backwards, dude. You can't do it anymore. Brendan played basketball. He was a power backward. Power back. Red Rover. Red can't do it anymore. Brennan played basketball. He was a power backward. Power back. Red Rover. Red Rover is the original wedge breaker on kickoffs, dog. Oh, yeah, totally. That's a good call.

Dude, kickball was fun, though. Kickball was fun, and you didn't have to have all that extra equipment. You didn't have to have the gloves and the mittens or anything like that. Just the ball, dog, and a baseball field. Dude, we had one kid on our baseball team. We were 11. He got out there. He couldn't afford a glove, and he got out there with a kitchen mitt.

Hell yeah. And he was good, too. Was he good? Yeah, a little kind of mixed guy. But yeah, he was good, man. I'll say kickball. You can't do dodgeball in schools anymore, either, because they said they would pick on kids. That's the game, dog.

You've got the fat kid in the corner. You light his ass up first. And then sometimes you're surprising, catching, everybody come running in. Yeah. Damn. You get hit and you just were waiting. And then when you got hit and you were walking, you get hit in the face. I'm out, stupid.

That was the worst, bro, when people would light somebody up. The worst when you got hit in the face in front of your crush. Ooh, and your face would be all hot and red. Like, that didn't even hurt. And then your crush is like, I'm a him. They pretend to tie your sandal. Pardon my time, my sandal. My time, my sandal.

Thanks, Gene. Dude, I'll tell you this. I saw Rob Schneider. I got to go hang out with Rob Schneider the other day backstage. Oh, yeah? How was that? It was pretty cool, man. Where were you at tell you this. I saw Rob Schneider. I got to go hang out with Rob Schneider the other day backstage. Oh, yeah? How was that? It was pretty cool, man. Where were you at?

Nashville? Yeah. He was at Zangief. Did you open up for him? He's doing 14 shows there. He did 14 shows? He's doing 14 shows. God damn. They're all sold out?

Wednesday to Tuesday, yeah. God dang. That's a lot. That's Saturday Night Live shit, dog. I mean, that's just a lot of time to be spending in a town, too. I mean, yeah, it's incredible. That's a lot of work to be spending in a town too i mean yeah it's incredible that's a lot of work you can do it oh yeah he was going at man it was uh he let me do a guest set one night but it was just cool to um see i'd never talked to him before so he started just

just telling all these stories like his mom was filipino so he started telling all these stories about uh like their family stuff i guess but then he would go into impersonations of different characters and stuff while he was telling them. Have you got him on the podcast? Uh-uh. Might have him on it. I'd love to have him on it sometime. But it was just interesting. I'd never met him.

He's fun. He came on Finding the Kid years ago. Did he really? If you can get him to talk about Saturday Night Live, that's where the sweetness is at. Yeah. But when he wants to come on and talk about yoga and fucking San Francisco, uh-uh.

Tell us about the glory days of Saturday Night Live, dog. Give us the good. Dude, those were the glory days. Oh, dude. Him, Chris Rock, David Spade, Sandler, Farley. It's all just different now. Like, even, nobody does characters anymore. You know what I'm saying? Like, nobody does characters anymore. Never.

Like, they just don't have it anymore. Damn, he was only on there for five years? He's the Terrell Davis of fucking Saturday Night Live I forgot about all the movies I didn't even know about all the movies he'd done When I really thought about it He's in so many good movies Dude Deuce Bigelow I've never seen it

God what a movie It's Spanish for big shit You know that Deuce Bigelow is I didn't know that I don't speak Spanish My family shit. You know that? Deuce Bigelow is? Oh, I didn't know that. I don't speak Spanish. My family does, though. I knew that.

Should we move on to some relationship advice? Yeah, obviously this is Duncan Trussell. This is Hot Tub Time Machine, Duncan Trussell. Yo, it's the king of the state. It's the playboy. His teeth are social distancing. Brendan, start over. We cannot say that about this guy.

It's going to break his heart. No, he knows his teeth are fucked up. He's been over we cannot say that about this guy it's gonna break his heart no he knows his teeth are up he's been he's been through some struggles i think he might know no he knows he knows his teeth you know how hard it is to make a video when you have up teeth and sending it and the first thing somebody says you have up teeth dude he knows nobody wants to get bit by him i'll tell you one thing you can't do is bite pizza perfectly round like I can dude if you look at my fucking IG story

you'll see we'll put the picture in dude perfectly round bite I didn't even notice that someone commented on it you got some good chompers on you no he he bites

it looks like a goddamn great white took a bite out of your fucking cheese pizza you got serial killer teeth somebody said look at that ooh

you got them Richard Ramirez teeth yeah okay i like i love your teeth man i think you can do whatever you want with them yeah i think makes you unique what up guys it's your boy dave from pittsburgh um and i need some relationship advice uh i've been with my girl for about 10 years now. And when we met, we both loved to party like most people. Oh, yeah. Well, I had some good times, but I ended up with an addiction. And so did she.

By the grace of God, she's got three years clean and I'm coming up on a year. Let's go, Dave. I know that math don't matter, but your boy is trying. Anyway, in lies the question. My girlfriend has a degree in psychology and loves helping people. Currently, she's a counselor at a methadone clinic. The problem I have with that is the stress she's under every single day. I'm sure you can imagine what these people are putting in through telling her.

She comes home every day just sucked dry i mean just yep of emotion for you to where i think she hates it not that she hates it but she hates it you know what i'm saying how do i tell her i think that's the wrong career path i don't want to come off mean like i don't support her but i think she should choose a different field maybe somewhere she can still help, but not necessarily in that way. And then we got to hear a sign-off. Gang, gang, nod, nod. Oh, yeah, that heroin.

That's that heroin. That heroin dream state, baby. Hell, yeah. Dude, I went with a buddy of mine to the jazz festival in New Orleans a in new orleans a few years back and he was just aged out the whole time and he fucking literally slept to like seven bands and got fucking sun poisoning drugs are a motherfucker man but it was unbelievable what were you doing the whole time just Just enjoying myself. Amen.

Yeah, totally. Amen, you want a beer? Yeah. And then finally, I guess he just wants to rest, you know? He just took a nap. And we didn't have any things. And some people, thankfully, some people, some fucking hippies had built some big kites. And we leaned those against them and blocked the sun.

Because that sun was tearing his ass up. But that was four bands in, dude. That was already after Elton John. Oh, and they're long. And Sugar Ray had done a return. Dude, you're lucky it wasn't a Grateful Dead concert. That boy would have been jerky. He would have been just dead.

He would have been ungrateful. He would have been having conversations with Jerry Garcia, bro. Yeah, and he was out there. But look, man. Dude, yeah, I think it's hard to have a job in that sort of industry, especially these days, man. People just get so zapped out. But also, if she's getting money and that's like her thing,

she wants to help people, how are you going to tell her no? Yeah, and also, I don't know if you have a job either, David, and I don't mean to bring that up, but you don't want to. Hey, I'll tell you right now, he doesn't. You don't want to look a grocery horse in the mouth. You know what I'm saying? You don't make a video on a Tuesday afternoon and have a job, bro. I didn't.

He could be an artist yeah you're right he's probably a painter but what i'm saying is look man uh congratulations on coming up on a year congratulations on your girls three years man yeah it's big time it's big of her to try and give back look i think she'll know when it's time to quit i don't know if it's you know it's i don't know if it's up to him yeah i don't know if it's affecting you but it's nice that you shared it with us to just try and even get it off your chest a little bit. Yeah, and can you bite a piece of pizza and send it in? Man, y'all fucking cold, man.

I like that guy, man. What? Well, tell him that. I just did, man. But yeah. Good luck, bro. Y'all going to be fine, man, but don't look a freaking grocery horse in the mouth, man. But yeah. Good luck, bro. Y'all going to be fine, man. But don't look a freaking grocery horse in the mouth, baby dog.

Don't look a grocery horse in the mouth, baby. You don't want to look a produce pony in the yapper. You know what I'm saying, dog? You got to fucking make sure you got that cereal and milk, dog. Yeah, man. Make sure your shit's together. Yeah. Oh, finally finally a woman

Dude what happened To that girl from Australia That we were bringing in Remember her We'll hit her up Remember that titty hitter From Miami Remember that

Her Yep She had great teeth too You mentioned What happened with that Hottie Taylor That video in the beginning Hey what happened

To that Hottie Taylor With them tits Yeah Dude everybody She had bad tits? Yeah. Those Chia Pack tits, though. Dude, the first tits I ever saw was on a big guy. Dude, I used to go sleep at his house and look at him. Yeah, you gay, dog.

We'll close out with a couple. You gay, bro. You gay, dog. You're going over your boy's house to stare at his tits while he sleeps. Pretty gay, bro. You asked me, bro. Dude, you're the one who fucking is wearing fucking sexy custodian gear, and it's not even Halloween. You fucking forgot.

Okay? Will you turn this woman on before we're both gay? Hey, guys. I have a King of Earths thing for you. So I know you talked about scars on men before, but you've never talked about scars on females. I'm a canine trainer, former state police canine trooper. It's a whole nother story. But my last rescue that I took in for an aggressive case was a dogo Argentino, 125 pounds. Almost mauled me to death. I had to fight

him off. It was a really bad case. So he got me really bad there. You can't see it because I have makeup on, but I'll send you the before and afters. But you can also see the severe scars that I have on my arm. See, Joe Rogan probably inspired this. And I also have a metal plate in my ulna. So my question to you is, are scars okay on girls, or should I be, like, super insecure? Granted, I'm going to get this full sleeve tattooed, so hopefully you won't be able to see it. But that's my question. Oh, don't cover it, girl. Gang, gang, buzz see it but that's my question don't cover that's the map of your life girl that's what tattoos and scars are a map of your life man yeah i think look if you're gonna get a plate in your head i would go

i'd go to i'd go you know four or five pounds something at least when you're walking or running it's gonna put a little bit of uh tone up your body. Yeah, you're right. And not as a crazy way, but just, you know, at least use your disadvantages to your advantages. And also, I think it's amazing. I'd be so scared if something I was trying to care about just freaking mauled me like that. She has more pictures of the wounds. Do you want to see it?

Uh-uh. I mean, Brendan might want to look away. I'd like to see it. Oh, you're disgusting, Brendan. I knew you were. Looks it? Uh-uh. I mean, Brendan might want you. I'd like to see it. Oh, you're disgusting, Brendan. I knew you were. Looks like a shark got her. God damn. Probably be a hard pass for the dog.

That first one I showed you is the worst. Yeah, that one. It looks like, you know. Describe it. Describe it to me. It looks like a shark took a bite out of her arm, and then it looks like Richard. How big of a shark? What do you mean?

Probably like a baby great white. It looks like a little baby tiger shark got bite out of her arm and then it looks like richard how big of a shark like what do you mean uh probably like a baby great white it looks like a tiger little baby tiger shark got a hold of her like how long does it strike you mean like this or like that about a foot long oh damn that little deal the tiger shark aggressive but still man you only have so much jaw space on a foot long shark yeah you're right and then it looks like uh on the side of her stitches or not you think on the first one? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Stitches and probably skin graft and skin muscle graft. And then on the face, it looked like Richard Ramirez didn't finish the job.

Oh. Good description. She's pretty hot, though. Brendan. That was me like a compliment. Yeah, but she's trying to get better. And that's the dog. God damn, I think it looks like a fucking white gargoyle.

Is she off? Take it down. Yeah, take the. No, this is her after. Oh, yeah, she's a good looking. Beautiful lady. We just saw the video of her. She looked beautiful.

I think, look. Oh. Oh, shit. Turn it off. That's good for a deal, though. You need to see what the repercussions are owning a fucking dog. I don't own a dog. Well, you're thinking about it. Yeah, but I'mcussions are owning a fucking dog. I don't own a dog. Well, you're thinking about it.

Yeah, but I'm going to get a safe dog. I'll get a handicapped. I'll get that first dog with that fucking extra. Nut? Yeah, with that extra drop. That bubblegum nut? Yeah, with that freaking nut. That extra freaking bag.

That goiter. Hold on. What was she asking, though? King it or sting it? Chicks with scars. King it. Yeah, king iticks with scars. King it. Yeah, king it. King it, big king.

If you got scars, yeah, you're good. Now, unless you're like that girl surfing in Hawaii and got your fucking whole arm ripped off. Some people are into that. Yeah, I could date somebody that has one arm. I could date somebody that has two arms or whatever. You date a dude with one arm?

Nope. I ain't dating no dude. Don't trick me with the one arm part. You're trying to trick me. Yeah, this shit is Bethany. There's a whole movie about her, too. Tiger Shark. She's beautiful.

Look at her son, too. Look at him with both arms. Look at him flexing on his mom with both arms. Is she pregnant there? Yeah, looks like it. Wow. Wow. Good for her. Dude, every chick's pregnant in Hawaii. We're going to flex on his mom with both arms. Is she pregnant there? Yeah, looks like it. Wow. Wow.

Good for her. Dude, every chick's pregnant in Hawaii. Really? I think so. Yeah. Theo, touch of the downs Vaughn. Damn. Brendan.

TD. Slobby Shob. This is downtown Travis Brown from Indiana. Quick king it or sting it for you. More than one pillow when you sleep in your bed at Indiana. Quick, King it or Sting it for you. More than one pillow when you sleep in your bed at night. Oh, yeah, all times. I don't really see what the big hype is. Two pillows, wake up with a stiff neck. I just can't roll with it.

Let me know. Culture Corner, what's happening? Nick, Chin, how you doing? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Get it out, daddy. First of all, I want to say, Travis Brown,

you're doing way better than he is. I want to say that out of the gate, bro. Appreciate it, daddy. Congrats on that, man. You're doing way better than him. I won the marathon. Yeah, let's say that out of the gate, bro. So congrats on that, man. You're doing way better than him. I won the marathon. Yeah, let's say that. He won the sprint.

I won the marathon. He may have won a round, but he fucking won the marathon. Yeah, I'm just glad he got this video in before he blew up his camper outside of the fucking Hooters in downtown Nashville. I'm joking, brother. You seem like a nice guy. You sleep with one pillow i sleep look i am i need three pillows man and i still am getting ivs and fucking chiropractor every day so uh i sleep with three pillows i go one with the leg one under my neck and one in my arms actually too daddy yeah and i'll put perfume on the one of my arms and

also it's like a woman but it's not a hot woman cologne on there i like perfume okay i thought you said cologne i like the long body pillow i hugged that i hugged that thing up snuggle that thing got one behind the head another one wrapped around like a big old girl i love it you get that big old pillow i love it only brendan his body pillow fucking weighs 70 pounds, dude. It's a fucking great black shark. Dude, now, what about this, though? When you're sleeping, do you face away from your wife? Do you face towards your wife?

Face away. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I'd be scared. It's the only time you get to be away from them, I feel like, and close to them at the same time. How do you sleep with your girl, Nick? Yeah, I turn away, she hates it. It's like, you gotta get a little cuddle time in,

but I turn over. I also don't like face and sleeping, because then I feel like I'm breathing their oxygen. Breathing all their bad ideas are coming out at night and you're breathing them in? Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, I feel that. We got it.

This guy already kind of... What's this, burn victim ones are you talking about this is a great young man no you're right man do you want to hear the options huh let's go with this let's ride with this guy from obviously from is this your buddy got left out in the sun on heroin no his name's sean and that's not him. And sorry, Sean, but I didn't say your last name, but also,

anybody who knows you is going to know it's you, bro. And I love you and I was just guessing. You're not talking about Sean O'Malley. He was just talking

about wanting to try heroin. A clip went viral. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. That boy gave me some trouble with that. Is he?

Yeah. He was holding his child on his podcast. Yeah, that's not good. And then they went hard at Megan Anderson, which I don't support that. Who's that, the woman? Yeah. Who's that, his wife? No.

She's a female UFC fighter in Casey Kenney. She's a man in Nunes. She's a badass. Wow. Australian girl. Really talented. Man, I like that Dutch girl who was so good, and then she came out all frenetic last time and got smoked two fights ago by that.

It was like a young black woman, I think. Oh, yeah. You're talking about Maria Agapova versus Shanna Dobson. She gassed herself out. She's got gauged ears and stuff. Yeah, she's always like this. She's spunky. Yeah.

She does too many punches towards the camera in the beginning. It's like, just do it once. Yeah. This guy looks insane. What's up, Thesaurus and Bernard? I got to sting it or king it for you. That Korean kicker, Kim Chi. Don't eat that bubble. Oh! That Korean kicker, kimchi.

Don't eat that bubble. What do you say? Is that a redhead? Sting it or king it, king it or sting it. Bang, bang, guz, guz. Dude, is this the doctor from the girl that got bit by the shark what is that guy eating look man first of all you seem like a great guy I want to say that

man out the gate you got that hat you got that body those tits what is that that's the chick you like I love that girl man I can't believe I did the kimchi without chinny yeah he wouldn't have added anything I love that girl man I can't believe I did the kimchi without Chinier though Yeah he wouldn't have added anything

That's fair Last episode he said three words He doesn't talk on any of my shows I think something's going on I think he's thinking about killing me Dude if he killed you It would be That would be

I mean it would be It would be unfortunate But it would be unprecedented Yeah it wouldn't be good, it would be unfortunate, but it would be unprecedented. Yeah, it wouldn't be good. But it would be crazy. Think about it. It would be like the first, like, you know, ever since, like, David Spade got attacked by his assistant. Oh, that's right.

That's right. Tied him up and tased him and shit. We'd all be characters in a movie for sure. Oh, yeah, we would, dude. It's called making a podcaster. Who would play you, you think, in the movie? Probably Taylor. Or Joey Fatone.

Almost. Maybe Joey Fat. Joey Fatone. Yeah, Joey's going to play me off broadway oh yeah way like an off broadway joey fatone way off broadway we're talking cincinnati yeah we're talking cleveland broadway wow dude wow yeah that's my dad uh joey fatone is fucking awesome, too. That didn't even look like him on the left. Look at how hairy his arms are.

It's rough that his last name actually spells fat one. Oh, that's tough. That's a rough one. God, Justin Timberlake said, I got to get away from these fucking assholes. Dude, Justin Timberlake always looks exhausted, doesn't he? Yeah, he's dancing all the time. So then what i would say is um jesus christ i would say king it man what is this guy talking about uh kimchi not my thing

man hard staying bro yeah what is it cabbage and hot sauce yeah it's like an asian cabbage and hot sauce and look it's easy to say that in america where we have you know they have a lot of food here you know america it's like you can can't have food, we'll give you food. You can't have house, we'll give you, you know, there's no, everybody gets a fucking can of fucking, you know, bean and wieners, dog. So, I think that, yeah. In other places, you got to make whatever's left, you got to make something good. A lot of times they use spicy. So, you go to india bro they'll

say like you should have this beef spice and it's just like a broth and it's like it tastes like beef kind of but it's like not like you don't have any meat you know so you just eat in different you know they put they write the word beef on it it's just a fucking soup i don't know what you're talking about but i'm saying someplace this shit started in fucking korea dog yeah i don't fuck with that at all i mean chin's deep in it yeah china eat uh what's called kimchi kimchi and uh sardines for lunch uh-uh yeah and it smells like shit he eats sardines all every day that was my secret santa gift from him that's right he brought sardines my brother eats sard, and it always made me think that we weren't even brothers. That makes sense.

Disgusting. When they open a little can, they're all in there. It's like a little, it looks like one of those grave sites from like World War I. That's a concentration camp for fucking sardines, dude. You open it up, and they're all just like. Then you eat them. All of it? Eyes, ears, everything?

Disgusting. Fucking hard sting on kimchi. but i dig ginger hard sting on the holocaust hard sting on kimchi facts but it's definitely yeah it's like but look here's the thing though i think it's just an acquired taste like a lot of you know a lot of japanese people don't like mustard you know it's just that's the thing it's like some some things they just don't like in some places yeah you know a lot of uh russians don't like popcorn did you know that why they just don't it's not it's too soft it's just they like hard bro popcorn's for it really is russians want that hard sausage in their mouth you know is in the mouth, you know?

Them brats. Them German brats. Yes, quite. Some vodka. Calm down. Okay. Nick, that's what I'm talking about. Do you guys eat it?

Your girlfriend's... I'll try, like, when you go to a Korean barbecue, they have, like, all the stuff in the beginning and kimchi is one of them and I'll usually have some. You eat, like, eel and shit, Nick? If it's there,'ll like try it but

like i'm pretty much i'll eat anything if people put it in front of me but i'll stay in my comfort zone if i'm left to choose for myself wisconsin bro stay in your lane yeah cheese milk meat potatoes i might be right but the eight man a lot of the asians they'll do like i mean suck an eye off a catfish bro i saw a girl eat like a decent good-looking girl eating a talon of something out of a bag on a train and it smelled so bad yeah i just couldn't even believe someone was allowed to eat it like literally had to ha it was dog i've seen she's eating it had skin and it didn't even clean the fingernails on it. Dog, I ordered wings from Wingstop for the crew, and Chin ate the bones. Yeah. Like, you know how you eat a wing, you eat the bones, throw it?

Chin sucks the fucking marrow out the middle, and then chews on the bone. Mm-hmm. Dude, yeah. A lot of Chinese, they're really, they're kind of the African Americans of the Eastern Hemisphere. Yeah, that's fair. Would you guys try the Geoduck if we got some in here? Yeah, I'd deep throat that thing.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, come on, man. Oh, why do y'all do this every time? That thing busts. That thing busts. Why do y'all do this? Oh! Is it still alive when you're eating it? Oh, yeah, hell yeah yeah go slap that thing around we're missing our experts i'm not sure no but they didn't even add anything last

time did we learn anything no they've never tried it either hey man yeah uh you know i feel like that's all i got that's all i got. That's all I got. Happy Black History Month if you're black, if you're not. Glad you're black, brother. Good to be black. Stay black, cocksuckers. What else you got, man? You got anything coming up?

You still laying low till the vaccinations pop off? What you doing, daddy? Oh, I don't believe in the vaccinations or the disease, but yes, I am laying low. And I'm not trying to look. I'm not trying to tell anybody what to do. That's just where I'm at with it. That's fair.

That's your right. Yeah, and also I don't know anything, and it is my right. I'm in Tampa, end of the month, 26th, 27th, Tampa Improv. Come get some, Florida. That's it, man. Praise God, baby baby smoke my natch fam hell yeah good luck taylor with him tit good episode yeah taylor huh sprout that fucking keep us posted on big titties sprout that body wallet dog and send us a shot send us a jpeg and maybe send us a before if you got one yeah send us a before and after shirtless before and after or just the whoppers out and mail them nuts in if you got one. Yeah, send us a before and after. Ooh, a shirtless before and after. Or just a regular.

Get them whoppers out. And mail them nuts in if you get them deactivated. Yeah, I'll dip them in gold, put them around my neck, dog. Yeah, dude, that'd be crazy. DJ nuts. Yeah, we got his nuts golded up. Hell yeah, that'd be sick. I'll take them to Kohl's and get them bitches dipped, son.

All right, we're out. I got nuts all around my neck. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got nuts all around my neck. Famous damn hungry like I'm fresh off keto seeing red like Andrew Santino every song a hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos, but everything's gonna be fine Hate on me. I do not mind Feel looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs a couple of you tried but couldn't beat him quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz

them Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Mean and y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brandon's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King and the sting, ay King and the sting, oh yeah King and the sting, bee sting, rat king, oh yeah King and the sting, ay King and the sting, got bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string King and the sting, king and the sting

King and the sting, bee sting, rat king King and the sting, king and the sting Got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string