The Golden Hour - Episode 114: Chrissy and the Clams

Episode Date: March 26, 2021

Chris Distefano sits in as guest co-host once again and the guys talk Chris getting kidnapped and FORCED to have Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino's pubes DUMPED on his face, Nick getting grilled by Bobby for the Steebee Weebee booking mishap, Chris giving back to the Asian community and more. Also, a geoduck eating challenge between Brendan and Chris, live calls from fans and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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No. LA, you'd go to jail for that. You would be... 100%. Absolutely. But I don't know where the peanut allergies come from, but I've got to be honest with you.

I'm fucking looking at a... Dang, dang. Buzz, buzz. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude.

Let the great show on. You like an L.A. life, daddy? I like L.A. life. I like, you know, I've been going around. I've been learning the different things and people. I feel safe going into East L.A. with a Puerto Rican because I have a pregnant Puerto Rican. So I feel like that's like walking around with a pit bull. Dude, it's like you got a vaccination.

Take your mask off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, dude, I just want to be honest with you. I don't know if you guys have ever noticed this, but I mean, you smell amazing. Yeah, thanks, man. What kind of cologne do you have on?

I forget what it is. It's from France. Wait, uh-oh, uh-oh. Getting a little gray. Oh, yeah, daddy has gray. What happened, dad? I turned 30. Muscles. what it is it's from france oh wait uh-oh uh-oh getting a little gray oh yeah daddy has muscles i turned 38 last week i know but but great how old are you 36 my pubes are turning red oh is that what yeah what does that mean i don't know dude but i've i've noticed now every time i i hit the loah on the pubes, my pubes turn red.

Wow. Might be the soap you're using. Might be the soap I'm using. Yeah, I did use a little Just For Men on my hair a while ago because I had grays and everyone got mad. Right. I got to be honest with you. They just like the salt and pepper. I like the salt and pepper a little bit i

like it on you it's very it's vintage you know it's tough i like it dude it's very paul newman it's very paul newman do you have a gray hair chappelle i have like a one like single strand right black guys don't necessarily they never go gray do you ever see a gray a gray haired black guy unless they're in their 80s. They're going to be super old. And you know what I noticed, too? You don't see a lot of tall, young black men. You don't see a lot of tall, old black men. No.

You don't see the guy who's 6'0". You actually don't see a lot of tall men, old men in general. You ever seen a 6'10 old guy? That's what I say. You never see a grandpa who's tall with tattoos and cauliflower hair. I'm like a great Dane. I have a solid 15 years left. Are you going to die early, you think, then?

Oh, yeah. What do you think you'll die at? 38 now. I bet he starts getting dicey at 60. 60? 60. You think you're going to die of like a heart condition? Oh, yeah.

You're going to get killed? What's going to happen? 100%. 100% heart? Chappelle, how do you think you're going to die? Like a great day. I'm like a great day. This is what white guys talk about.

Dude, Chin is going to be the one who just keeps doing this. He just keeps moving in. I'm trying to fade. Dude, Chin is 96 years old right now. And Nick's been dead since the Civil War. Nick's been dead since the 1870s. He's a fucking full ghost with headphones on. We don't need Theo!

Speaking of red pubes, Chris got kidnapped by our enemies. Who did this to you? Who did this to you? Who did this to you? I went to go meet with our, which I thought was my good friend Andrew Santino. That's our boy. And I was tied to a chair and ball gagged and then they brought in Andres from Spain

to come and put a Ziploc bag full of Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino's pubic hairs all over my face and it smelled like whiskey and soy sauce. What? Yes. Look at this. Yep.

Oh. That's a real slap. That was a real slap. Who is that guy? That's Andres. That's Fancy. He's the producer for Bad Friends. Oh. Yeah. And he's from Spain, and this tape was sent to ICE, and we'll see who's going to be laughing when he doesn't have his valid passport. What the fuck?

That's their producer? That's a bad angle. I have big thighs. Is their producer a mad scientist? Yeah. No, he looks like he's on estrogen therapy. Andres, look at his face. His rosy red cheeks.

Oh! Oh, dude. That's real puke? That's real puke. You know what bothers me about this? I mean, you probably like the ball gag. I don't care. That's what it is.

Yeah. That's Tuesday. He brought it. I got to be honest with you. It was one of those things where I showed it. I showed this, like, to my girl, and she was a little bit like, yeah, I know, I know you do comedy. She's like, but what are you letting another guy

pour pubes on your fucking face for? She's like, do I need to go over there and slap this motherfucker around? And I was like, wow. She totally emasculated me. She's like, you're like a little bitch. You just let another guy put pubes on your face? She's like, I thought you were doing comedy.

And I was like, sorry. The producer looks like a scientist transitioning. He does. That's what's weird about him. Dude. And I was like, sorry. The producer looks like a scientist transitioning. He does. That's what's weird about him. Dude, he literally looked like he was on estrogen. When I first saw him, I thought it was like an estrogen therapy. That's fine. I thought they were going to inject some of his hormones into me.

This is my issue with that. Santino, grown man. Bobby Lee, very grown man. They decided to cut their pubes and then put it in a bag. Yes. Both over 40, I think. It's like, listen, we're all adults here. If you want to get me back, tie me to that chair, ball gag me,

and then just come out. Slap your dick. And face fuck me a little bit. That's what I'm saying, daddy. Because that's what I was waiting for. Because that's what we're going to do to you, bad friends. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we're going to slap our dicks on your face.

I'm going to anally rape Bobby Lee. What? Clip it. Clip it. Clip it, James. Clip it, send it to Bobby. I don't want to do that. I will do that, dude.

Bobby, watch a little movie called Deliverance, and you're going to see what's about to happen to you. Can you have your wife kick their ass? Because they made me look like a bitch, too, honestly. They did? What'd they do to you? What'd they do to Nick? I fucked up, and I booked Stevie We weeby on this podcast for the culture corner uh we were gonna treat him nice and get

some info out of him maybe attack bad friends and uh we canceled or we moved up the show last week from monday to tuesday and i forgot to call stevie and he showed up at this at the studio and i was at home no one was here and he cried i guess he didn't have a ride. He hitched a ride. I found out. Cause Bobby texted me. Dude, what the fuck? I was like, I have nothing to do with it.

Uh, I fell on the sword though, but, uh, yeah, they, they kind of gave me the business. Oh,

Bobby's so mad. I'm going to act really mad. Yeah. Okay. Like furious. Good. Like furious. Yeah. Like furious. Not my proudest noise.

It's his brother. Hello. Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's going on? Hey, man, you're on the show. We're recording you. I just want to let you know up front and be candid with you, but I got to tell you, bud, it is not going good.

The first 15 minutes, Bobby has been just losing his mind. He's been yelling because something about his brother and you guys didn't get him on the show and he's freaking the fuck out right now he's mad what happened man I uh I can I ask you a question hold on why do you do you disrespect me and my family? Honestly, when you look at other comedians, you probably respect them and you respect their time. Look at me. Is it because I'm not funny to you or is it because I don't have the respect in the comedy community?

I don't know what the fucking deal is, bro. That's my brother, bro. I know Have money he fucking got his way out there and he When he knocked on that door and you guys weren't there, my brother fucking cried, bro. It's disrespectful. And it's like, I'm just asking you, did I do anything personally to you to hurt you in any kind of way? Because it just seems like a fucking slam on me, my career, and I fucking have tears right now too, dude. It's disrespectful, bro.

So can you explain yourself? There's no explanation except that I fucked up. Theo and Brendan had nothing to do with it. I booked him. We moved to show up because Theo didn't come back from Nashville. I could not feel worse. This is not said in jest at all. What about a phone call?

Yeah, they eventually were like, we're just kidding. But I think Bobby is actually pretty pissed. He was a little pissed. Yeah, he definitely did. Wait, so what happened, though? You booked his brother? Yeah, he was going to be in the culture who was bobby lee's brother on a podcast what is his brother what is his brother doing i also don't know i and i'm not trying to be mean i also i've never heard of him either there's another body and nick gnome he can come on i i

don't know who he is yeah but the thing is here's here's my thing bobby your brother had to take an uber here but he didn't have money to get how do you not get your brother a car how do you not take your brother i actually blame this on bob i would say i agree with you it's a full circle you know what it's bobby's fault for putting him in this situation knowing the type of shenanigans that podcasts go up to. So Bobby, I say to you, you're disrespectful to your brother and you don't respect him and his podcast. That's what I say. And I feel like your brother

because I have your pubes in my mouth. Dude, do you know there's another Bobby Lee, a cryptocurrency Bobby Lee? No. Dude, look at Google Bobby Lee crypto. There's like a guy who's verified on Twitter. His name's Bobby Lee. Does he look like Bobby?

Yes. Well, I mean, come on. Come Twitter. His name is Bobby Lee. Does he look like Bobby? Yes. Well, I mean, come on. Come on. I see times right now. I know. I know. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Now we have to do that. Okay. Yeah. Now we can't talk about anybody. Right.

Of course. I'm sorry. I apologize. Here we go. That, yeah. You tell me. That doesn't. You're going to tell me you don't beat that Bobby Lee versus the other

Bobby Lee. If he showed, no, I'm kidding. Everybody stays quiet. I know. What does he do? He's the founder and CEO of Ballot Crypto. Ballot Crypto. He's very rich as shit.

Bobby Lee, world's easiest wallet. Yeah, there you go. Maybe we'll try to talk to him next week. Yeah. The other Bobby Lee, world's easiest wallet. Yeah, there you go. Maybe we'll try to talk to him next week. Yeah. The other Bobby Lee. Do you think that it's culturally inappropriate, Chin, with all the Asian stuff going on, that I don't know how to use chopsticks?

Is that a problem for you? Should I learn how to use chopsticks in an effort to say that I stand with Asian people? I think it would be a nice little gesture, but you definitely don't have to. Okay, but I will. Because your boy is nice with the chops. I will.

I'm nice with the chopsticks. And I'll give you a happy ending. Just so fuck... No, just because I want to show you how much my community... You know, so I want to do reverse. I don't want to give you a little jerk, and I'll use the chopsticks. Is that okay with you? Of course. You know what? It's okay, dude.

Most white people aren't doing that, so... 100%, dude. That's what I want to do to stop the Asian hate is I'm going to start jerking people off for twenty five dollars cash in parlors. Yeah, because some white people are just posting online like stop Asian hate. That's bullshit. You're being doing something. I'm being active. I'm being active. I already don't have any hair on my legs like a Chinese man. So that's good. I have Asian legs to begin with. I have my hands a little bit bigger than my Asian friends, but I still think I can grab a cock and just do a little jerky,

you know? And I think I can do that. And she approves. Giving back, man. I give back because like, I agree with what Chappelle says. A lot of these fucking activists,

it's just, you're all you're doing is posting a hashtag. I'm getting out there and I'm milking, I'm milking the guys. I'm milking people. I'm making sure people are not going in there with a fully loaded gun'm milking the guys. You're milking the streets. I'm milking people. I'm making sure people are not going in there with a fully loaded gun because that was a problem a couple of weeks.

Nobody has a fully loaded gun now. I've milked everyone and I've drained their balls and that's what it is. Hey, Cat. How are you? Welcome to. I'd like to drain his cock. What are you going to do for Cat? Hello.

We'll see for Cat now. What's up, Cat? Yes. Because I'm talking about with all the things that have been going on with the Asian hate community. I'm going to turn around. He's going to give back. Post-Asia, I'm going to give back. I'm going to give happy endings, and I'm going to start jerking people off so they don't go out there with loaded guns.

That's what I can do for – And we're going to call it Chrissy D gives back. Chrissy D gives back. That's what I could do for people like Chin or other transgender people who now have a dick and balls. Whatever community wants to identify as having a penis and balls, I will milk their balls. For a woman, though, I'm trying to think of how I can give back to an Asian woman. And right now, I don't know what to do. I'll do your nails.

What about that? Do you know how to do nails? No, but I'd like to learn. And I'd like to learn because I want to identify. What else could we what else could we do we could do nails what if you throw me in the washing machine a little bit would that be good uh throw you in the washing machine i don't know i feel like asian women would like men to do more chores probably more chores i'll do chores real no no what if you put that ball gag back your mouth and she like parades you around like a dog what about that oh that'd be great like a water buffalo that's what yeah yes yes yes or how about this you can just behead me what do you think of

that go ancient samurai here's the thing we tend to like to go out with a bang with honor and i feel like there isn't much honor in just dying that's almost like an easy way out right well how about this you're vietnamese you can throw some ancient Orange on me. Why don't you reverse it and throw it back at me? There we go. That's different. There you go. You can hit me with Agent Orange. That's how we're going to solve it. So your fucking woke hashtags suck. I'm telling you out here, I'm milking the guys and I'm letting the women

throw Agent Orange at me. That's how you help Chrissy D gives back and I've had enough of it. We're all together. Let's come together. You might not be good at being an athlete. You might not be good at being an athlete. You might not be good at it. Maybe the highlight of your athlete time was doing field day as a child

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That's 25% off anything you order when you use promo code KATS at liquidiv.com. Start fueling your adventures today at liquidiv.com, promo code CATS. Who's this young lady, Nick? It's the debate club. I think we got our episode title, Chrissy D Gives Back. Yes. There you go. How about Chrissy D's canceled?

Chrissy D doesn't have a job. Yeah, right back to the pods. Chrissy D lost the TV show. Adrian and Ahmad. Great show. They're from Cincinnati, Ohio. We got engaged over the weekend, and we decided to go out and celebrate with some friends.

So the first question that the boys had was if there would be strippers at the bachelor party. So we decided it would be a good King or Sting it for you. So King or Sting it, strippers at the bachelor party. And I have given him my blessing. As long as I can have Theo as my stripper for my Nashville bachelor party. Let us know what you guys think. Theo gets the cheekspper for my Nashville bachelorette party. Let us know what you guys think. Theo gets the cheeks out for her.

I would like to have gotten a video, because this is just a white girl with blonde hair from Ohio, when she's like, hey, Dad, here's my boyfriend. His name's Ahmad. I would have loved to zoom in on the father's face. Just like the Curb Your Enthusiasm music. He's like, what's his name? Aaron? No, Ahmad.

It's his name. Ahmad! You're breaking up, babe. Did you say Aaron? Yeah. Do you have a cold? Is he Jewish? No, no, no.

Ahmad! Ahmad! She probably fucking flipped. But look at it. Yeah, no, that was her face. You see how he's flipping? That was her dad's face. He was like.

He goes, no, I hope he treats you well. Yeah. So what is she saying that she's allowing Ahmad to have strippers? Yeah, she's saying strippers for bachelor parties. Yeah, of course. And then she gets Theo to strip. I mean, fine, dude. Now he might be crying.

He's the sad stripper. Theo on or off his meds? What are we talking about? Whoops, Theo. Theo off his meds might be a better time. Which week are you going? I'll give you a heads up. Yeah, I think that's good. I think that's good. be a better time which week are you going yeah i'll give you a heads up yeah yeah i like i i

would yeah i think that's i think that's good i think that's good now gesture present yours did you have i don't have one no you're gonna have a bachelor party no no why are you just like yeah i don't give a fuck dude that's like i live a life i feel the same way about like fraternities and sororities it's like what's the point of that like you're gonna make me guzzle gasoline to be my friend yeah well you well, you're paying for friends. You're paying and doing dumb shit just to be somebody's friend? Oh, yeah, they pay to do it. I don't understand it, though. Anybody been in a frat or a sorority?

Are you in a sorority, Chad? Oh, absolutely not. I thought you were. What? I feel like every generic college girl thing you assume I did because I went to USC. Yeah, that's what you do at USC. Well, it's big there at USC. It is really big.

You guys hang out with Judd Apto. Did you see USC basketball last night? They beat the shit out of Kansas. Really? They won by 50. My buff's big there at USC. It is really big. You guys like hanging with Judd Apto. Did you see USC basketball last night? They beat the shit out of Kansas. Hold. Really? They won by 50. My Buffs lost. God damn.

Not only did my Buffs lost, but then there's an active shooter in Boulder. That's what happens, though. But Colorado, that's what they're known for. The active shooting. They create it. Hey, listen. Colorado. They're the first ones.

Don't buy Aurora. Everybody is culturally. Do you find, do you get offended by people culturally appropriating mass shootings? Because Colorado did it first. You have to ask yourself about that. They did it before it was cool. I'm swinging today. is culturally do you find do you get offended by people culturally appropriating mass shootings because Colorado did it first you have to ask yourself about that they did it before

it was cool I'm swinging today and I gotta be honest with you there's been a couple of big misses but what can you do it's just one of those

ones where they just just let it settle bomb and just have Brendan look at me have Kat and Chappelle and she'd look at me the only one and Chappelle and Chid look at me. The only one laughing is Nick. He's a shit racist. Let's move on to another debate.

Oh, here we go. Look at this kid. What up, King and the Sting? It's Kyrik from Rhode Island back at it with another King and her Sting. This time we're talking Gooey Duck. I know Kat brought it up a few episodes ago. You guys got a good kick out of it. But if the opportunity arose, would you give it a shot? Or is that a little bit too much shellfishy homosexuality for you guys? It's like a clam that's basically shaped like a big dick.

Okay. And what are you saying? Do you want to suck it? What are you saying? Would you try it? Let's show it to them. Hey, take it easy, playboy. No, you eat it.

Like, have you ever seen the, it's usually Asian girls eating the big, go ahead, duck. Okay. Have you seen it? You know what I'm saying? The Asian girls eating the, duck. Okay. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? The Asian girls eating the, what is it? Oh. Ooh. Some girls will slap it before they bite into it.

And it moves. Why? It's a saltwater clam. Mmm. Okay. See that big thing? You think you can tackle that thing, Daddy? Could I tackle that?

Yeah. You know what? If you gave it to me today. Look at those quarts. Are you? it to me today. Look at his court. Oh, that thing. Probably not because my allergy is a little bit. So my throat's a little inflamed. But when I don't have allergies and my gag reflex is better, I can do that.

For sure I can do that. Do you have a problem eating stuff like that? Like weird foods like that? Because I do. You do? I'd throw up probably. Yeah, the only thing. Yeah, I could probably eat it.

I would do it like for the show or whatever. But like at home, it's yeah, I'm just I'm very boring eating person. It's like almond butter, bananas, you know, things like that. Yeah. Just shitty stuff like that. Have you had it, Kat? I ate it last weekend. What?

What's this? Yeah. Wow! What happened? Wow! Those big dick slugs. Nick, just so you know, you're supposed to clean them. Wow What happened? Wow Look inside Look inside Big dick slugs

Nick just so you know You're supposed to clean them Before you eat them Oh okay Oh so they have to be cleaned Yes Okay Let's go clean it

Alright let's go clean it I don't know exactly how you clean them Should I call my mom? What country do they eat these in? Asian countries Just general Asian Stop Get it daddy Get it daddy get it daddy covet safe no

uh we'll go clean these and we'll come back i'm gonna wait to put mine on we'll do another one in the meantime i just don't trust that water it's sitting in i'm ready i have a few questions too. What do you got? Where do those things come from, Nick? H Market in Koreatown. H Market is a good grocery store. The cleanest Asian grocery store. Cleanest one.

Did these fly in from China? I'm not sure where they came from. I didn't ask a lot of questions. I got yelled at for taking pictures. Absolutely. Who yelled at you? The guy behind the counter. They actually had a sign so it's not we're not the only ones to do this why can't you take pictures probably some illegal shit i i think i think honestly who took a picture of the bat i don't know i think i think people just it's like becoming a thing online so i think they're just worried about people just coming in well same thing with sprouts and whole foods you can't film in there or target you take you can't film sprout. I'm not gonna yell if you do. What do you mean?

Why don't you have like a sign outside? Yeah, but you know what to out here, you know that I just had enough Waiting online to get in the supermarket just go in the fucking trader joe's listen we know you're great you fucking are oh you maintain social distance in your supermarket shut the i fucking waited online for 25 minutes to go in and get cashew milk yesterday because my kids lactose intolerant it's just there were fucking three people in there i fucking hate the narcissist just fucking go. Go to Ralph's, Danny. Look at me.

Look at me. Look at how good I'm doing with COVID. Shut up, you fucking. I hope you get hit by a bus. I hate. I literally. If I start to see. If I start to see.

If I see any more lines. If I see any more lines outside Trader Joe's, I'm going to do something. I'm going to. There's going to be another active shooter. He's just rolling it out there. I'm trying to get canceled. I'm kidding. I'm obviously joking around, but seriously, Trader Joe's,

fuck you with the lines. What are we going to do with those dicks now? I'm going to wash one. Do we want to bring in one of our guests that's going to give us a live debate club, and I'll wash it, and you guys can chat with them? Wash it. I mean, just run it over water. That's what I was going to do. What do we have to bite into them, though? No, I'll wash it and you guys can chat with them and wash it. I mean, just run it over water. That's what I was going to do.

What do we have to bite into them though? No, I usually have it sliced. You have it sliced. So you've eaten this before, Kat? Yeah, I had it last week actually. Do you cook it or do you eat it raw? You could cook it or you can eat it raw like sashimi. Oh, like sashimi. And you like it? Yeah, because you don't

bite it the way like those women bite it off. That's not how you eat it. Well, that's don't bite it the way those women bite it off. That's not how you eat it. Well, that's how they eat it. That's how they eat it, so people will think that they're eating a dick. Yeah. That's why we're eating it. Well, that's why you eat it.

I eat it for different reasons. You just like the taste. Yeah, it tastes fine. When it's prepared properly. You grew up eating it. You grew up like mom and dad made that for you. Yeah. Okay.

But you never played with them as a kid when your mom had them? No. You'd slap them around? What? Really? No. I would as a kid. You wouldn't fuck with that thing as a kid?

That would have been in my ass immediately. Yeah, 100%. Forget G.I. Joe's. I would have stuck one of those things up. Yeah, I would have rolled that thing in Fruity Pebbles. That thing would have been a nightmare. See, that's why God put those things in Asian countries, because white people couldn't handle

it. No, we couldn't. We couldn't we couldn't although it's all on YouTube Yes, this is a very small percentage of people who eat it like you ever bring it to school like to school lunch like oh I got that like you wanna bring seafood to school like you want to bring salmon as like your life Oh what I disagree I gave I get did in a, my daughter two weeks ago, I forgot to pack her lunch and it was like eight 30 in the morning and I got a fried calamari. I gave her fried calamari in a baggie for lunch.

Dad life. Yeah. Now my school, you're going to hate this about LA. You can have nudge, shellfish. Uh, there's a whole list. But can I, but can I ask you a question? Yeah. Kat, how old are you?

If you don't mind me. 25. You're 25 years old. Yes. Even you. And just be honest with me. Okay. You're 25 years old. Yes. Even you. And just be honest with me. Okay. Did you know any kid in your school that had peanut allergies?

Maybe like one, three years after. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. So where did it come from? Where did this peanut allergy thing all of a sudden come from?

Either, you know, like when I was growing up, when Brendan was growing up, we were all growing up, nobody had peanut allergy. So did it just come out? Where is it from? One of our meals twice a week at Virginia Court Elementary, shout out to the Tigers, was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Tuesdays and Thursdays, everybody ate it. If you forgot lunch in my school growing up,

I went to St. Matthias School in Ridgewood, Queens. Shout out. Shout out to pedophiles. I went to school there. Sister Serafine, if you didn't, she would give you a peanut butter jelly sandwich and a can of Pepsi. She would be put in prison if she did that today. Could you imagine? Somebody came out and gave your kid a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a Pepsi?

No. L.A., you'd go to jail for that. You would be done. Absolutely. But I don't know where the peanut allergies come from, and a Pepsi? No. LA, you'd go to jail for that. You would be done. I don't know where the peanut allergies come from, but I've got to be honest with you, I'm fucking looking at all of you. I like it! I get that short fat.

Could you listen? If this is... I got that Oh my god! Could you... Listen, if this is... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I got that Stevie Blue eyes!

This looks just like my DMs! Stevie making a second appearance in a row on the show? Wow, mine's coming! But, but, but... Ah! On the video though, they like roll it in soy sauce or something. Yeah, you can dip it in different sauces. We have soy sauce.

There's soy sauce. Nick's got soy sauce. Are you going to bite this? I don't know. Is it safe to bite? Are we going to get sick? They bit it. Will you get a form of COVID? I don't know that I would do it.

If I didn't have to go shoot for 12 hours, I'd do it. Are you a little nibble? I don't know if I could do it. I would wipe it. You would wipe it? Yeah, the outside Just wipe it Just let it clean

It was washed off With the sound he washed I mean, what would you do You're going down on a guy And he pulls this out Like, Jeff Like, I'm not talking About a big penis

I'm talking about this This is what he has He's either an ally Or very racist And he has a Homer Simpson jacket So what's this? Is that its egg? I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know And he has a Homer Simpson cat. So what's this? Is that its egg? I don't want to bite the top.

I don't know. Yo, that is turning me on more, though. Look at that. You see that? The shape of that? Yes. Look at that. Is that its ass?

Hi, honey. No one's being forced to do anything they don't want to do, do whatever you're comfortable with. Yeah, I would do it. I would do it, but I just feel like I'm going to- I'll take a bite if you- No, but I'm going to take a bite if you don't want to do, do whatever you're comfortable with. Yeah, I would do it. I would do it, but I just feel like I'm going to – I'll take a bite if you – No, but I'm going to take a bite if you're not going to take a bite. I'm going to get –

You don't have to swallow. I'm going to – Brendan, you know that I swallow. If it's in my mouth, I swallow. Brendan, come on, dude. What is this, Little League? All right. I don't even know where to begin to bite it, though.

Well, it depends what you want to do. Did someone want to step up for Chris? I'm allergic to shellfish. Kat, do you want to do it? I'll bite it if you bite it. Okay, go ahead. Chin? Of course I'll step up.

Let him take count. Where do we bite it? In the beginning? In the beginning. I'm sorry, in the front we bite it? Front or sides, whatever you're comfortable with. Have you done it before, Chin? Never.

You've never eaten this? But I watched it on YouTube with everyone else. You watched it? As far as sides, whatever you're comfortable with. Have you done it before, Chad? Never. You've never eaten this? But I watched it on YouTube with everyone else. You watched it? So wherever it is, okay. So Kat, how should they eat it? I usually have it sliced. I don't even know.

This is uncharted territory for me. The videos, you just kinda, they just swap. If you don't bite that ding-a-ling already. It's like bang bros. You do the, I'll do the. Okay. That's what she says. Yeah, listen.

Yeah, a lot of you people out there are trying to be fake woke with your hashtags, but I'm the real Chrissy D. Stop the Asian hate. It got me! It got me! Oh, God. Oh, God. I didn't feel that coming.

It got me. You never see it coming. So no one's going to swallow? Huh? no one's going to swallow? Huh? No one's going to swallow? Chin! Are you kidding me? It fucking squirted right down my esophagus!

Is this not, am I not doing enough? Do you not know that I love your community now? I just say to Seacock! Where did you buy that? His intro was the best. Stop Asian hate, squirt. Good. Welcome back. I feel really welcomed.

Do you feel welcomed or not, Kat? Chin, do you guys feel good about that? These aren't going to go to waste. We're going to finish them just in case anyone's asking. Yes. Chin's mouth is salivating. Yeah, we're going to finish these. Me and Chin.

Chin and I are going to feast. Should we bring in someone live? Do a little live debate club? What the fuck? I got to get it out. I can't believe people eat that. Is it that bad? Dude.

They're not eating it right. Oh, my God. What's up? What's up, bro? What's up, buddy? How you doing? Wow, look. Are you in Germany right now?

Yo, yo, yo. We got you now, buddy. What's up, man? What's up, Brennan? Not much, dog. You're here with me and now, buddy. What's up, man? What's up, Brennan? Not much, dog. You're here with me and Chrissy D. What's up, dude? What's up, Chris?

How you doing, brother? Good, man. How are you? How's QAnon? I still don't feel 100%. We just said Asian Go duck Go duck Because we're in support of the community

So I don't know what you're doing I don't know how you're going to give back But this is what we do You guys are clearly living better than me right now I'll tell you that much Where are you calling in from buddy Indianapolis brother Wow

Indianapolis You know, buddy? Indianapolis, brother. Wow. Indianapolis. Yeah. You know what started there, Indianapolis? You know what started there? You look like one of them. Easy with that, Killer. Okay.

Well, let me check your search history. What's going on, brother? What do you got going on, man? And Ian's got a debate club for us. What do you got, brother? Fire it away, man. All right. Look, guys. Look. So you're driving down the street. And Ian's got a debate club for us What do you got brother Fire it away man Alright look guys Look So You're driving down the street

You're at the corner You see that homeless man With the sign Are you giving him A little bit of change Are you giving him The cash money Are you just acting like

You don't even see him And keep driving I'm giving him an N95 Is what I'm giving him I'll give him an N95 mask And say Stay six feet away buddy i'll flick a coin at him like that no i'll give i'll give him paper money i would give him paper kids ash money but you know what i probably you know what i actually do for for homeless people i give them food i give them food i give them food that's what my mother always told me to do is go in and get them food so if i see a

homeless person outside uh store i'll go in and I'll buy them food or coffee. And most times they won't take it because they just want crack. Yeah. You give them money, they're shooting it up in the veins. I give them a bag of Cheetos, maybe a little sub, you know? Yo, Chappelle's got a donk on him. I didn't realize Chappelle. Dude, between me, you, and Chappelle, I think think between me And Chappelle We have the fattest asses

In comedy Well you gotta remember Phil has the biggest ass Of all of us Oh shit You do have a big butt It's alright You do have a big butt

You got like White stuff all down the back Oh I'm sorry I wasn't supposed to see that Nick and I got here A little early I sleep here

I was sleeping Yeah Dude Nick is the kind of guy If I just saw him Waiting at a stoplight I would give him a dollar and I got here a little early. I sleep here. Yeah. Dude, Nick is the kind of guy, if I just saw him waiting at a stoplight, I would give him a dollar. He looks home. I was just like, oh, and he's like, what? What's this for, man? He's like, man, I'm going to work, dude.

Yeah, dude. God. Yeah, dude. Fuck my day up. I know. Fuck my whole day. You give homeless guys money, man, or what? Yeah, I'm There you go. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, dude. You fucked my day up. I know. Fucked my whole day. You give homeless guys money, man, or what? Yeah, I'm not that guy that gives them food.

That's like giving a child clothes on Christmas. Yeah, you look like the kind of guy that lights them on fire. See, he's got that look, dude. Like you would see. A little arson. Yeah, Indianapolis man lighting homeless people on fire. It's this fucking kid. That's CT sets in.

He's like, I'm three and one in the fucking... In the Indianapolis UFG. Look, Chris said meet me at 155, boy. What? You'll fight at 155? No. No, that's what you look like you fight at. That's what you're telling me to come down to.

Oh, me? Dude, I fight at 255. I'm fucking... What are you weight? I'm a thickie I'm 227 I'm like 230 I think I'm 230

Yeah I need some thick boy merch I'm a thick boy Yeah 230 I'll tell you though Six feet Six one I'm one of those guys

Where it's It's In shirts sometimes People or women Be like oh you're wearing a good body And then I take my shirt off And they're like, I wasn't expecting it to be that loose. One time, one time, one time, a casting director, he was like, you know, I was like doing it. And, you know, like in the casting and he said, and he said, okay, you just take your shirt off.

And I took it off and he was like, ooh, he's like, I didn't expect that. I was like, yeah. And then I put it, he goes, you know what your problem is, man? You have leading man face, best friend body. He's like, so you should just that I was like, yeah And then I put it He goes, you know what your problem is, man? You have leading man face, best friend body He was like, so you should just pick one Just pick a lane Either get ripped and be the leading man Or just let it all hang out and be the best friend

You know who has that problem is Gerard Butler Yeah Because he said he shot 300 And he was like, all bodied up Right So girls are like, oh shit, that's the Spartan Right And they hook up and they're like, what happened?

He's like, bitch, that was a movie. That was a movie. It's my nipples too. I got fat puffy nipples. You look like you got long nipples. I got long nipples. When we go to the gym, I'll show you. It's just a little weird.

When are you going to go to the gym with us, Wayne? Tomorrow? No, when I'm done filming next week. 8 a.m. we'll go. Oh, then bring the fam over too. Yes, that's what we're going to do. We're all coming over. We're all going to do it.

I just want to work out with Stevie Blue Eyes Dick. I just want to do chin-ups off of him. It's going to end very similar to this. It's going to be a mess. Yeah. That's my weapon. Like in Street Fighter, Stevie Blue Eyes Dick. Yeah.

Who was that guy who was just driving? Was that just a random fan that got in? No. He's got a debate club for us too, but he's having trouble connecting right now. Really? Yeah. But we've got another guy. That's what happens. What's up, dude? What's up? This us, too, but he's having trouble connecting right now. Really? Yeah, but we've got another guy. Well, that's what happens.

What's up, dude? What's up? This is Ezekiel. What's good, son? Oh, Ezekiel bread. What's going on, brother? Yeah, it just felt a little different just to speak to. Yes.

How you doing? So I have a debate club. Which docuseries is better? That, you know, mini Aaron Hernandez, Danny Hernandez? Or that I got a story to tell by Big Papa? Which one's better? It depends what you want. Because we all know the Biggie story.

You guys heard it a thousand times. But do you know the real Tekashi69 story? On Showtime, it's so fucking good. And I'll be honest. This isn't a popular opinion. I can't get enough of his music. You like his music? I'm working out.

Oh my God. What a coinkydink. Brendan has a show and a special on Showtime. And we're talking about the Kashi Sixx Nine show on Showtime. Coinkydink!

The documentary sucked! The Kashi Sixx Nine. I'm biggy all the way. Did you see it? No, I didn't. Dude, when they showed the hidden footage of him when he gets robbed when he's in the car and they have the actual like taxi footage. No, I didn't. Dude, when they showed the hidden footage of him when he gets robbed,

when he's in the car and they have the actual taxi footage. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't see that. No, I haven't seen the Takashi 69, but I did see the Biggie one, and I thought the Biggie one was fucking awesome, dude. I didn't realize how young Biggie was and Tupac when they died. Dude, I'm 11 years older than them. You don't realize it because they died when we were kids

So you always think they were like these old dudes Yeah, I was I'm always like, oh I still Until I saw the documentary I was like, oh, Biggie was probably older than me when he died But it's like, no, dude, he's 25 What's weird is where Biggie died

I mean, we drive by there Yeah, that's right Twice a week Really? It's right over there, yeah It was interesting, too Because I didn't realize Like, Puffy being from Harlem

He couldn't even go into that neighborhood in Brooklyn No i didn't realize like puffy being from harlem he couldn't even go into that neighborhood in brooklyn no i didn't because because like things in brooklyn are still like some neighborhoods are but it's not like that anymore like it's not like like because like it's so everything is so gentrified and diversified now like it's like there's people of all walks of life all over but i didn't realize like oh shit like puffy has to speak through Biggie's people just to even speak to Biggie, man. It was crazy. The Tekashi one, too, I know he gets labeled as a snitch. But, man, when you look at the story, like, in Treyway, Treyway, the Treyway Bloods, who, like, they put him on and they're, like, his security.

Then they kind of fucked him over. They're the ones who robbed him. And that's when he got picked up by the feds for drug trafficking and racketeering. And he was like, these guys just robbed me. Well, so he's like, of course I'm squealing. Well,

do I go to prison for life or I get off in three? I didn't see the documentary, but what I heard is Takashi six, nine, like the, the, the tattoos on the face and the hair that was all predetermined. Like he,

it's all an act. He did it for like the algorithm, which I respect. He like took, you know what the new way to do it is and just capitalize. That's what they were like. All his boys back in New York, which I respect. He took what the new way to do it is and just capitalized. That's what all his boys back in New York, like this tattoo artist and the lady who dyed his hair,

they were like, everything was calculated. He wanted to troll to get fans. Let me ask you guys this. Let me ask you guys this. What's going to happen first? Is lockdown going to be lifted, or is Tekashi69 going to be killed? Which one happens first?

Lockdown lifted. Lockdown lifted? Lockdown lifted happens first? Lockdown lifted. Lockdown lifted? Yeah, lockdown lifted. Yeah. Yeah, because I feel – Lockdown lifted. Yeah, because – Where are you calling from, brother? Are you in Vegas?

Is that a Vegas hat? Yes, sir. I'm from that 702. I always drive where Tupac got killed. Yeah. So it's right down this – So every time you drive by, you always get a little piece of history and try to figure out how it went down.

I'm like you. I like going to the places and reading about it, trying to figure it out. Yeah, me too, brother. You know, where things are at. Yeah. And then go from there. The Biggie and Tupac thing is so weird because, you know, neither one of them are gangsters. Right.

And then they're, like, talking shit to each other. And then they're killing people. It's fucking. You know who has a lot of money now is Biggie's mom. Biggie's mom and Harry. Because all that money, all money all the biggie still to this day biggie has an estate still makes money so at least you know it's not a you know it's she wants her son but she at least was able to make because he really wasn't making that i mean he was making money but like not like biggie money like i mean his estate's got to be worth 300 400, $400 million. Yeah. Everybody samples his music and takes his stuff.

At least. So she's good. At least she's. They say Tupac didn't even have that big of an estate. Really? Yeah. Well, Biggie to me, at the time they were alive, Tupac was bigger than Biggie. But 25 years later or whatever, I feel like Biggie's a bigger thing than Tupac.

He's more relevant. Biggie's more relevant. Yeah, because Biggie's in the new spy well not new but spider verse like he's in pop yeah yeah yeah bucks kind of gone to the side yeah never really hear anybody bumping it because Tupac still alive that was a weird conspiracy conspiracy the mystery is who killed both of them right yeah no everyone knows who killed Tupac. Dude, this guy looks like George Zimmerman undercover.

His name is Baby Lane. That's what he kind of looked like. You got a little incognito George Zimmerman look going. George Zimmerman? Yeah, it looks like it. He's like, I moved to Vegas. Thanks for calling, brother. Thanks, bro.

You're going to get me in trouble over here saying stuff like that. Man, that's a Cubano. Oh, that's a Cubano. Oh, that's a Cubano. Sorry. Y'all know say. Y'all know say. Thanks for calling, brother. See you later, buddy.

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or in Virginia, 888-532-3500. All right. And this guy's one more guy. Look at us. He's got a relationship advice question. Oh, he does? God, that thing made me feel sick. God, I stink.

I genuinely... Like, I probably have to go home and shower. Oh, my God. Here we go. And I didn't tell my girl that I was coming to do this podcast first. I was like, I'm just going to have to work. She's going to think I smell like pussy. Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, my God. Just tell her you... We have to... Nick, you have to send me this clip immediately. I mean, immediately before I get home. Take a pic with that big dick clam. Just tell her to watch the premiere

9pm Thursday Pacific time. Here we go. What's up, man? What's up, dude? I love you guys' show. How you doing, brother? What are you, a fireman? No, I'm a truck driver. Oh, there you go.

Do you ever jerk off in the truck? Be honest. You ever jerk in the truck? Sometimes, sometimes. You have to. Yeah, I just did it right before I came on here. You got good bone structure. He's on.

Thanks, dog. I thought you were wearing an earring, but it's an AirPod. Yeah. What's your question, brother? Yeah, so my buddy, it's kind of a long story, but my buddy is dating this one girl, and I knew her since high school, and she was a hoe, right? And my buddy, he's kind of like a Christian guy,

and is it kind of bad that if I were to tell him that she used to sleep around with all the guys, or should I just keep my mouth quiet? I'd keep it quiet because it's man you know what i'm saying it's so she got a little wild in high school yeah dude when you're like the entire lacrosse team run a train on her or something we're talking about 30 40 body counts by 19. Yeah.

Here's what I think is the truth. You've had sex with her, and you don't know how to tell them that. That's what I think is happening here. So we could just stop beating around the bush, and I don't think you should tell your friend that you had sex with this current girl for this long. No, man, I've been out there, current girl for this month. Nah, man. I've been out there, but I don't go that far, man. I wouldn't say anything, dude.

I mean, he's going to see this, you know? That's whoopsie. She's a stay-at-home mom, and he works like 100 hours a week. So she pays. He pays for everything. And then she goes out and buys a bunch of shit, you shit. But do you think she's cheating on him now? All this stuff was in her bag. Do you think she's good now?

Dude, they say once a cheater, always a cheater. But it's high school, though. It's high school. Is she hot, though? Is she smoking? She's 25. She just barely got out of high school. Right.

And she is hot. I think let relationships, just let whatever's gonna happen with them happen with them you don't got to get involved you know just whatever i feel like even people that want to call out it's a homie though yeah i know but it's like how all you're gonna do is ruin his life that's all you're gonna do maybe she will though maybe she will yeah just let her do it let it happen dude Yeah let it happen Hopefully she's grown up And isn't just looking

For dick everywhere now You know Yeah If she's got kids and stuff Yeah That's a tough That's a tough She's also

Yeah you got They got kids You can't do that That's tough I'm with you dude He's gonna see this And realize his girlfriend's A whore back in the day

But you'll be fine But he probably Already knows though Like I I don't think so No it sounds like The whole fucking volleyball team. He looks the other way on purpose, kind of.

All right. So then he'll figure it out. I mean, I don't know. Also, people have sex. Who cares? Everybody has sex. Who cares? This Christian guy found a monster in the sack.

The Christian guy found a monster in the sack. Yeah, he doesn't know any different. He's like, oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. He's so, Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's so good at this. Jesus was wrong.

I should have been doing this the wrong time. Yes. Good luck, brother. Good luck, man. Thanks for calling,

Doug. Yeah. Thanks guys. Later, homie. Later, buddy. Later,

buddy. Later, buddy. Dude, that's so funny. Yeah, I would say shit. I would definitely,

I mean, and then they have a kid Yeah, dude But also, what are you gonna do? You're like, hey dude Your girl who you're happy with And the mom, dude Back in high school

The football team all fucked Yeah, but I don't understand Like, what's the difference? Like, okay She had a lot of sex back in the day Who cares? She was Who cares?

She's with you now Who cares? But isn't it weird? Like, it's like If it was the other way around Like, yeah Do you think I should tell my My friend's girl she was who cares but she's not she's with you now yeah but isn't it weird like it's like if it was the other way around like yeah do you think i should tell my my friend's girl that he used to fuck a bunch of girls in high school like no no dude i used to i used to ask those questions all the time to grow up just how many guys have you slept with can i count it on one hand two hands

all my digits feet two feet two hands but now i just like don't care it's like whatever everybody has once you have kids i'm like what's the difference it's like if i ever broke up with my girl and moved on to another woman i would want her to have children so she doesn't just focus on everything i'm doing she has so it's like i would prefer the woman to be very sexually experienced and active when i was young and immature and insecure i'd be like oh you know it's like this male ego thing it seems like an ego thing jim would you have a problem you found that your girl was just really really promiscuous back in the day when i was younger yeah yeah now no you're older right

nick you would you care uh i just don't ask yeah i don't i don't think it would bother me but i just don't don't ask yeah i don't it's like where they are now it doesn't fucking matter who cares i'm dating stevie blue eyes i don't give a well see that's the thing it'd yeah, I know it's like where they are now. It doesn't fucking matter who cares Yeah, yeah, I'm dating Stevie blue eyes. I don't Well see that's the thing it'd be quantity for me It's quantity versus quality like if somebody had like if you had if you had you know had sex with a thousand people I'd be like whatever, but if one of them was Stevie blue eyes. I'd be like oh, I can't date you Adequate you know Like, oh, I can't date you. I just feel so inadequate. You know, I'd be like, no, not Stevie Blue Eyes. Who's this dying piece?

She's got a debate club for us. Oh, here we go. What's up, Theo and Brendan? I'm Jax, coming to you from sunny, warm Park City, Utah. And I have a little debate club for you. If these two players were to play against each other in their prime, who would be better? Michael Jordan or LeBron James? two players were to play against each other in their prime who would be better michael jordan

or lebron james you've had sex with both of them so you tell us she better make this she has a sexy ass voice yeah she's good she's gorgeous yeah there you go wow and that was a and that there was no edits on that she She really did that. Yeah, that was one shot. Well, this lady's awesome. Congrats to you. She's a smoke show. Smoke show, good for you. Before anybody says it, I think we did this debate in, like, episode seven, but this video was awesome.

We had to play it. She did this debate, Michael Jordan versus LeBron James. Well, it's usually who's the better player, like, who's the GOAT. GOAT talk is stupid. It's all about, you know, time periods. But you've got to realize, here's the thing. If LeBron James and Michael Jordan played, you know how much bigger LeBron is than Michael Jordan? So it's like it's a tough combination.

LeBron will probably, because it's just different. You can probably body him up, you know? They have different weight room techniques, different advances in exercise science. It's like the same thing with Mike Tyson versus Muhammad Ali. Who wins in a boxing match? It's hard. Mike Tyson.

You think? Yes. But your boy Giannis would go hard in the paint. He went hard on Malik. Oh, yeah. He had the Jordan facts in his fucking pocket and just lit Malik up, and it's fantastic. Really? Yeah.

Oh, with how much better Jordan is. Yeah. He was ready to go. Yeah, I know. He loves basketball. He was like, what? LeBron? Yeah.

And I was like, oh, this probably isn't going anywhere because most comics don't know sports. Dude, he fucking did. He lit him up. He went fags. because most comics don't know sports. Dude, he fucking did it. He lit him up. He went fag to fag. For me, the only reason why I'd give the edge to Jordan,

and it's a thing that can't be measured, is every time he's made it to the finals, he's found a way to win. I understand LeBron got there eight, nine times in a row. What, three out of seven? And I understand how incredibly difficult it is to win an NBA championship. I get that.

But there's something, I think it's like an unmeasurable, science-can't-explain factor. Jordan would will his way to win the championships. I genuinely believe that because he went 6-0. And LeBron, although he's a great champion and obviously one of the greatest players of all time, he couldn't do that, what Jordan could do.

So if they played 1-on-1, even though LeBron is bigger and more jacked, Jordan may will himself to win somehow. Jordan has better defense. Better defense. It's a weird thing. It's never going to happen. Jordan was a social justice warrior, so that's why he gets the vote in my book. Did you hear Jordan wasn't a social –

He said Republicans buy Jordan's too. Or buy sneakers too. He said, how come you never give an opinion? He goes, because Republicans buy Jordan's too. It's like, facts. Here's the thing with stuff like that. I get athletes having a responsibility to say things and do all that. And I get they make a lot of money.

But I just feel like if you're going to die on that sword, then I really better see your ass. I better see your ass in certain communities. You better fucking have a house there. Don't fucking run away to Malibu and with a fucking multi-million dollar house and tell me i want you fucking there i want you there buddy don't go be on your gated i know you got millions of dollars and you made it great but then don't fucking talk to me about all the problems when you're in malibu i don't want to see you tweeting it that i want you there buddy but

but that's what nipsey hustle did right like, right? Like, he stayed in the community. Well, how bad do you want it? It doesn't end well. Well, what can you do? Yeah. You know? I mean, that's... Well, I mean, I guess you're right. It doesn't end...

But that's what I'm saying, you know? I'm too white for this. Keep going. I'm all ears. I just wish I could give fucking... I just wish I could say stuff, but I'm too white. You bit the geoduck. You can now.

Oh, wow. That's it. That's the geoduck. You can now. Oh, wow. That's it. That's the card. You didn't swallow them. Wait, what have you done for black people? True. What have I done for black people? Here you go.

What I've done for black people. Here's what I've done is, well, number one, I want to stay clear that I have a diverse family. I have a diverse family, Puerto Rican children, because I didn't want to make more all white children because it's disrespectful to populate the planet with more white people. So I went diverse. That's number one. We're all so nervous. Number one.

Number two, I frequent Dallas barbecue a lot. I'm always eating Dallas barbecue, BBQs in Times Square. I do that a lot. I'm always eating Dallas barbecue, um, um, BBQs in, in Times Square. I do that a lot. Um, what else do I do? I,

I think black church is better than white church. I can't believe that you should sell tickets on StubHub for black church. I love black church. Um, what else do I do for black people? Um, I do a lot. That's,

I do a lot. I, um, I didn't become a police officer, even though I look like one. I did that. I didn't become a police officer even though I look like one. I did that. You do look like a cop. I just got into the police academy without even taking the test because I just have to look.

I wouldn't do it. I didn't become a cop because I felt like, no, I don't want to hurt my black friends. I play basketball. My dad was in prison. That's a good thing. That's a good thing in solidarity with the blacks. Why was Papa in prison? Papa was doing illegal things

When I was a kid My dad Mafia time Rocketeering and loan sharking And things like that So here Here's the thing On paper

You know You would never guess I'm white On paper I got a single mom home Dad in prison And got a basketball scholarship That's black black black Oh okay

There you go So I'm off So it's here to me That's what I did for black people is I became a black person on paper. On paper. On paper. Out here, I'm still white, white, white.

I'm like, getting away with everything. White privilege. We've got another debate club. So you walked the walk. I walked the walk. I walked the walk. You weren't in Malibu.

No, dude. I'm not in Malibu. You walked the crib walk. My Airbnb is three blocks away from where one of Richard Ramirez's victims was. Really? Yeah, right around here, baby. In Encino?

Yeah. Actually, my new Airbnb is in Van Nuys. That's what I'm... Yes. That's not... Come on. Van Nuys is my stalker central. Well, parts of it.

There's nice parts of it. I think I'm by the hood in Van Nuys. That's how this TV show's treating you? That's how this fucking show's treating me, dude. It's unbelievable, dude. You don't have to worry about it after this episode. Cheers. What do you got, Nick? Yo, what up, Brendan? What up, Theo and crew? Don't want to take up too much of your time, so I'm going to jump straight into it for you. I got a debate club, and it's time to settle it once and for all which game is better

for the n64 is it madden or is it blitz nah gang bang fuck buds i think madden is just such an iconic game but blitz is my shit i forgot all about blitz you remember you're tackling they swing them around yeah and that's the one where you get hit with like explode into bones like the bones i would go blitz it was the nfl's version of nba jam right memory right yes yes yes he says blitz i feel like why i like blitz it's because it's more madden is a little bit like fantasy football where it's like it's not real. It's like, you know, they try to be like very PC where Blitz is like, this is what happens to NFL athletes.

They all have to cause shits. They get CTE. Their bones explode. They talk shit to each other. They talk shit to each other. Blitz is what the real NFL is. Can you bring up the cover of Blitz? I think it was a stealer on the front or maybe it was Barry Sanders.

Yeah. By the way, Barry Sanders, I think, was one of the greatest running backs of all time and retired way before he should have. He was sick of that shit. Cordell Stewart. Yeah. Cordell Stewart. Shout out to my boy.

What an unbelievable Cordell Stewart. Talking about Slash, son? Dude, my man. He was like that. He could play every position on the field. You know he sued the guy. You know the guy who goes, I don't like men's anymore. Yeah, yeah. That guy was great. You know he came out and was like, yeah, who goes, I don't like men anymore. Yeah, that guy was great.

You know he came out and was like, yeah, I sucked off Cordell Stewart. Nice. Lied. And then he got sued for $10 million. Because that's where the rumor started that Cordell was gay. And he was married with a kid. He was like, what the fuck are you talking about? So you can't just yell.

Like, what's the rules with that? Like, I can't just say I sucked somebody off if it's a lie. If they're famous because it's defamation of character. Got it. Got it, got it, got it. Cordell Stewart's dues to collect his $3 million judgment over and you delivered to Caldwell's gate As soon as I'm not no more I think he suck cock that night Yeah, but then he would post on his Instagram,

because me and Chabelle got really into him. We would post on Instagram. He's like, still doing it. Still doing it. And, you know, I still don't like men. Still straight as fuck. He has glitter on his face. Yeah.

He has the fucking sea urchin cock right there. He's like, love it. Just eating a little Asian food. But yeah, he's still claiming that he doesn't like men. He's full of shit. Go to his Instagram, Nick. I am delivered. He got too caught up in the moment.

I know. He was all. He was all. But that's what I'm saying. That's the type of fun you can have in a black church. Yes. Nothing like that happens in Catholic church. I mean, the fun happens at night behind closed doors with the priest.

There is. Oh, look. Damn that hat. How many followers does he have? 190K. 190K is pretty decent numbers, right? It's not terrible. For deliver?

For deliver. He went viral. He went viral. You know, it got like 10 million views. He's making money, dude. Let's see the original video, Nick. How many views does that have He has a lot of texts on his IG

I think I'm Bad friend said we won the podcast war Just because you put pubes on fucking Chrissy D Yeah dude we're going to keep going We're getting more people involved in this podcast war It's coming at everybody Do you believe that the lord tonight has set you free? Yes, sir.

From the back, it looks like Chappelle's head. He's got the same magic turnaround as Chappelle's. Somebody's got to put Chappelle's face in his eye. I'm not gay no more. I am delivered. That bow tie says otherwise, my man. I'm not gay no more. I thought I liked women.

Women, women, women, women. Women, women, women, women. Women, women, women, women. You think the other guys had any clue he was going to go into this? No, they're like. I would not put on makeup. Is that what you call the Holy Ghost? I think so. This is my favorite part right here. I think so this is my favorite part

right here listen Chrissy Diaz Rice but even that was so much fun I can't believe they don't charge tickets to this

even that dance had a little sugar in it dude you just can't shake it dude look at that throwing his head back just be happy

with who you are man well I think he is happy I think he's happy being a fully openly gay man I think he's happy being a fully openly gay man. I think he's happy being a gay man. His Instagram says otherwise, dude.

Yeah. Has the LGBTQ community come after this video? Because it's like kind of painting being gay in a negative light. No, they don't come after black churches.

They can't, right? Good luck with that. Let me ask you this real quick and then I'll go. Just a thought. Light a match and leave. Let me ask you this. Final thought. Because with art, Just a thought. Light a match and leave. Let me ask you this. Final thought.

Because with art, right, when we're talking about art and things like this, you know, like a lot of comedians, you know, from tweets from 10 years ago, they get in trouble, they said this, and it was crafted in this way. What about rappers? Like how come rappers don't get in trouble for, you know, talking about violence against women and homophobia? What's the difference? Look who they came after. They they came after Eminem who's a white rapper right them but they didn't really come after and well they but whites did yeah but he but the same you know like I show you know he still

performs like people love it you can't cancel him but I'm just saying they went after him right probably cuz the music has nothing to do with those people. That's what he, yeah. I don't think they're aware of it either. As a comedian, though, if somebody goes back 10 years and finds a tweet, can I just be like, oh, I had a ghostwriter? Like, what's the difference between me saying, oh, I didn't write it, and somebody ghostwrote it? You're going to have to rat somebody out. As opposed to another rapper just being like, you know, talking about, you know, bitches, hoes, I don't like gay people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

They're like winning awards. So what about, you know, bitches, hoes, I don't like gay people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're like winning awards. So what's, I just don't understand. For me, it's like, we're going to have to make a decision as a society, what's hard and what's not.

We're going to, it's either has to be, everybody's allowed to say it or nobody's allowed to say it. It has to be everybody. It has to be everybody. It has to be everybody. No matter what,

you know, race, religion, creed you are. And on this show, before you get canceled, I want everyone to know you had a ghostwriter.

I have a ghostwriter. Yes, I have a ghostwriter. My tweets really aren't that bad. If I've if i've said anything wild it's been on a podcast yeah for the show you had a ghost writer you had a producer in your ear he's actually in the back yes his name's andrew santino did i say anything that bad what do you think you know no that's the thing we have to be allowed to do comedy even that's what i'm saying no you're saying we have to be allowed because so even even like with so many of the issues that are going on like in our country So many of our even fellow peer comedians. They're like, I don't even want to touch that It's like no, no, we have to touch that. That's the other way to bring people

That's how you fight back. You joke around you fucking bite the Asian seacock If it's done well. Yeah, it has to be funny. It has to be funny. It has to be funny But look, I mean also too it's like now you're yelling at us this morning and it's early, but well, you gave me a diet cock. All right. I got to go do a show on true TV. If you want to see the real me, Patreon.com slash Christy Comedy, YouTube.com slash Christy Comedy, Christy Chaos every Tuesday.

Hey, babe. Every Thursday. You're in L.A. for how long? I'm in L.A. till May 24th. My mother's birthday. Next week, dude. I'll have my girl strike up a fucking fiesta

let's do it let's have a little fiesta have the kids together yeah are you saying that because my family's Puerto Rican no my girl's Mexican born and raised

oh look at that they'll have a little fiesta we'll have a siesta yeah absolutely Tommy Moscow Selena thank you

Miami this week love you everyone Miami this week Thursday Friday Saturday Miami Improv. Get your tickets now. And then Austin, April 22nd, 24th. Tickets on sale.

Vulcan Gas Company. We getting lit. Tickets at FATKZ.com. Chrissy D., we love you. Love you, baby. Theo, we miss you. Miss you. Hope you're doing good in Nashville, brother.

Miss you. We're out. Brendan and Theo, fighter in weight. I gotta go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think. I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to and go hard in the paint, I do not think, I am in flow, black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go, I need a sponsor, I am a monster, about to open up with this at my concerts, flow is contagious, browser outrageous, thicker than girls that are Instagram

famous, damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto, seeing red like Andrew Santino, every song I hit like the great Bambino, Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat him Quit playing like Nintendo DS

You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brennan's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club can you pick me up king and the sting king and the sting king and the sting bee sting rat king king and the sting king and the sting got the bees in the trap got the cheese on a string king and the sting Outro Music