The Golden Hour - Episode 116: Bert Rogan

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

Chris Distefano joins Theo and Brendan in-studio and the guys talk Zoom calls gone wrong, awkward Hollywood auditions, pooping on planes, ethnic barbers, Brendan's belly button, street fights vs UFC fights, all new Clown My Hounds, serial killers, sex during pregnancy and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this episode of king and the sting is brought to you by unleashed with dingo and danny a new podcast fueled by monster energy unleashed is your front row seat for all things alternative sports catch episode one featuring professional skateboarder nija houston as he talks sending it on big tricks staying motivated and where on earth he found the sketchy voodoo doll that he calls his most prized possession to hear it all tune in episode one of unleashed with the dingo and danny fueled by monster energy how many asian people have you had sexual intercourse with one asian two eight two asian you have four asians oh wow and if you want to count if you want to count india as asian probably i would say about about 60 or 70 Asians.

What's your kid doing out here? My kid, so far she's been doing Zoom classes at like 5.30 in the morning because it's still on New York time. She's got her teacher, Mrs. Q, who's good um how boring is those zooms for those kids well to be honest man what five-year-olds it's it the reason why her zooms is good is because there's one of the parents who doesn't understand zoom and he's just in the background like i hear all his fucking opinions in the class and she'll be like you know the teacher will be tell the students like hey can you tell make sure to tell daddy to turn the mic down or whatever and she'll be like you know the teacher will be able to tell the students like hey can you tell make sure to tell daddy to turn the mic down or whatever

and she'll tell him and then he comes in and you just see like his chest like and he doesn't know what to do he's like I don't know how to work this thing

and then he's like why don't we get why don't we get a fucking Mexican in here to do this dude shit like that how many people

have been cancelled during the Zoom shit oh my god because they don't know it's not on mute yeah they talk shit about everybody.

There you go, right here. 35 calls that went horribly wrong. We probably can't play any of them either, huh? No. No, dude. It's a real thing, dude. How about that casting agent where the kid, he was doing it from his apartment, and the casting agent's like, God, this kid's apartment's a fucking dump.

No. He starts clowning on it, and then the kid's like, I can hear you. I know my apartment sucks. I'm just going to do the audition now. Wow. kid's like, I can hear you. I know my apartment sucks. I'm just going to do the audition now. Wow. He's like, I am so sorry. That was not for you. But it was for you.

Hacker calls out, who is it? Go back to it. Here it is. These poor people live in these tiny apartments. Like I'm looking at his background and he's got his TV and, you know. Yeah, mute it. i know it's a shitty apartment that's why give me this job so i can get a better one play that right um ready so so sorry no it's slowly listen i'm living i'm living in a four by four box it's fine just give

me the job and we'll be fine I bet they didn't give him the job 100% they didn't give him the fucking job because his acting probably sucks that's why he's in a tiny apartment

that's what it is dude dude if you were any better man you'd have a better 289,000 likes yeah I wonder if he did get the job

I don't think so yeah they should have given him the job look at the guy man bring up the guy can we see the guy again look what's his name luke yeah lucas gage oh lucas gage he was in um ninja turtle wasn't he he's one of the tur oh oh you're thinking of casey

he's got a nice bod though this kid lucas k oh and he could be man or woman now yeah absolutely i'm surprised holly surprised Hollywood doesn't want him for like just a young female role look at him the guy's obviously doing fine he's fine dude

oh wow he's killing it is that him I don't think that's him but see in situations like that dude you can't apologize he's in euphoria like you just have to

lean in I would just the director like to me looks like a bitch now it's like dude you got caught just be don't even say

you're sorry bro I would just I would rip the place further I would have been like dude I would give you this job. Yeah, but your fucking apartment. Your apartment's bumming me out, man.

It's bumming me out, dude. Like, yeah, man. Like, can we shoot a scene in the back of a car in your apartment? In your fucking bullshit ass apartment. Like, I would just keep going. Double down. And then just during his whole audition, just fucking be like, dude, I could see every room in your apartment right now. I love how he called these people out there, dude.

This will help him get a job, man. You know why? Because people are just seeing his face now. Yeah, he got a lot of support. Oh, by the way, now if there's any confirmation if he got the part, the answer is no. That's why he tweeted this video. Correct. As soon as he found out.

As soon as he saw that deadline article. He's like, okay. Yeah. Okay. That it went to fucking. I remember this reminded me of our audition. So whenever I first got in LA, I went to Audition. And it was a small room, right?

And it was like the lady's in there and the assistant is in there working the camera. Right. And then there's like a gay guy in there who just, they pay him just to be around and be gay at that time. Right. It was like, oh, here's 80 bucks an hour. You know what I'm saying? Do your thing. You need a gay on staff. Yeah. And he had buttons on every part of his clothes like

everything was just so buttoned i have that shirt he was highly buttoned right so then anyway i was so nervous in there i i hadn't really done any auditions like in a room before and so um i was so nervous that i was like hey can you guys open the window and like yeah we can i guess they'd never even open this window they had like security to come open it and i'm like just trying to like do like lamaze in the corner like that was the only breathing thing i'd ever seen because we used to have ymc camp by a uh pregnancy center yeah so i'm like over there doing like all the lamaze i know like trying to get ready we start. I couldn't talk, right? I literally was so nervous.

You were that nervous. Could not speak. Wow. So then I was like, can we open the door? Do you mind if we open the door to the hallway? You know what I'm saying? It's just small. And there's literally like, it's smaller than here.

So people are right here. Yeah. It's the most awkward thing in the world. Auditions are the worst. So uncomfortable. Right. So finally, they kept trying to and i could just couldn't speak i couldn't do it right you just could just walk out and i had to leave i had to

go home yeah i was like can we open the window again and like the windows already the windows and you just couldn't form a word have you have you done auditions couldn't talk there's the most awkward thing i did one audition when they it was like the role the way my manager told me it's a big guy and he's real quiet during the film they have this singing scene and he does like an opera so just sit down be real quiet and just break down into the character so i'm like okay cool so i said so it's a room we gotta get this audition dude dude bro breakout into the character bro so i say the room's small in this pack of people some famous director i sit down i'm all shy and i just hit this opera thing i'm going

and the guy goes what role are you in for i go uh calio no cal we were we were a book comment you're just the guy that no that's not what you should do who booked you i was like they told me to come he's like yeah no no no we're good and i was oh my god dude i'm saying wailing going who you reading for dude i just got it they were probably like yeah he's he used to be ufc fighter he has brain damage so just let him just let him do what he wants dude i was so heartbroken i was so embarrassed yo i know and you know who got that role was the mountain from Game of Thrones. Oh, Game of Thrones, yeah.

They gave it to him. Yeah, dude. I mean. And they could have given it to the molehill, dog. When they said they need a big guy, I didn't know they meant the fucking mountain, bro. I'm not that big. Really rolling in there like, who's this little twink? Who's the mountain side i know dude you fucking you auditioned for game of thrones to give you the part they gave to peter

dinklage next to the mountain gay of thrones just closeted men fighting over another man dude i'll tell you what when i had i went on a bunch of auditions, and then I had a CBS pilot that, like, we went, like, we filmed it, like, Chaz Pometary played my father. Wow. I remember this. How long ago was this? About four years ago, right? 2017, yeah.

My Annie Potts played my mother. Diane Guerrero played my wife. Oh, big production. Dude, no, it was CBS, like, legit. It was a real thing. They filmed it in the same stage they filmed Audition for it. I thought, Ray Romano? Yes they filmed uh ray romano for it yes you'll probably audition for it to play my to play my wife's ex-husband you didn't hire him

no because here's let me tell you here's the thing is what i realized and i only action only realized this after is the people who got callbacks and the people who made it to producers and the people eventually booked a role besides like the chas palminter and annie potts they are just so far like level like above with talented dirt like when you saw annie potts come into a room and just nailed her i was like oh she's like a you've seen her before she's like if this lady's like a for real actress like unbelievable she's just booked and and and then um um um she was like you know like in ghostbusters and like, you know, designing women. And she also sent in a King in the Sting. She was in a flaunt my aunt.

Yeah, yeah. Can we bring it? Bring up Aunt Rhonda. She really has the same cheeks as me as well. But what I noticed about the audition process is being on the other side of the camera is the only people who ever got callbacks who weren't like known stars like that.

That's classic. That's her. Yeah, dude. That's what happened. That's classic. That's her. Yeah, dude. That's what happened. Yo, that's all because my show didn't get picked up. So she... Look out now.

You're like the... Like the more you nail your audition, the more words you get right, the more you practice it by the book, the more you look like everybody else

and the less chance you have. The person that booked the part that Theo went out, he forgot his lines in the middle of it and went crazy in the audition and ad-libbed and was all over the room they remember that coming in and out of frame so when it came down to after looking at legitimately 200 audition tapes they all looked the same like everybody was great but what was that guy what was his name paulo costanzo yeah that guy was fucking all over the place what about him he's easy he's weird and what and then he books the world now why didn't why did it didn't get green light it didn't get green lit dude it just was one of those things two reasons one they put me in khaki pants which that's not you know your ass your ass is

cargo but yeah dude my ass blew through those so so because because what it is is they take all the funny out because they feel like they have to appeal to people in michigan and iowa who watch network television it's like that's not what my comedy is about my comedy was about and the you know was at a time where like they like the they wound up naming the show the final title was izzy and me because it was the name of my wife's character in the show so it's like they wouldn't even want to have my name in the title so they took everything away and the power dynamic shifted where they bought the show in the room it was all about me trying to make it work with a woman I just had a baby with. It didn't work.

And she has a child from another marriage and we broke up and blah, blah, blah, blah. But they didn't like that. They were like, no, we don't know if we want to have her be Latina and also have multiple babies, fathers. I'm like, well, that's the real life. That's the comedy.

They changed it all. Then all of a sudden now I'm the bitch in the show. You know, the woman is powerful. I'm begging her to come back when that's not what it was in comedy. That's not what it was in reality. All these shifts changes. They got me in cargo pants. They tried to put Chaz Pamentieri in fucking like old school Midwestern dad stuff.

Yeah, they tried to dress up like Wyatt Earp. Dude, I know, dude. And Chaz was like, I'm going to wear a black turtleneck, black slacks, and black coat. That's what I'm going to do. Dude, he was wearing sunglasses for multiple shots when we were indoors in the studio, but he wouldn't take them off. And that's cocaine, guys. So you shot one pilot.

We shot the pilot on the thing at CBS Radford out here in LA. And then when it was coming down to it, it was fucking one of those things where I like, it's like one of those things where you just wish you would have been blown out by 40 points and lose by one at the buzzer. It was one of those because the debt, I'm sitting on a plane coming from San Francisco back to New York and a deadline article come out. It was the day they were picking up the shows

and I don't see my name. It was like CBS picks up four new shows. Boom, boom, boom, boom. And I'm like, oh, I didn't make it. I don't see my name there. And so I text my agent. I'm like, hey man, like it was a great experience, but you know, whatever. We didn't make it. i'll be fine he goes no no no he goes i just

got off the phone with cbs those four have been picked up there's one show that's still left for a mid-season pickup between you and this other show so i was like oh shit so i got chance and then like literally we're taking off like the plane is accelerating on the runway with the flight attendants like put your phone away like that and i'm like keep putting on airplane mode off airplane mode and then literally dude like as we're fucking accelerating i get a text from my agent atop he goes didn't make it man we'll get the next one and then the plane accelerates my head hits this headrest start crying dude no i didn't start crying i literally for two hours i just was like in like looking at the ceiling with the air conditioner vent just blowing to my eye i had pink eye for like a week after that.

My eye was dry as fuck. That's straight out of somebody's butt because people are passing gas in planes. Oh, yeah, dude. High fart, I'm playing. Yeah, dude. Planes are just people. It's basically like people playing like butt Monopoly.

100%. Keep moving their pieces around. Dude, yeah, dude. My boy, Patty Fly Ball, sharted on a flight back orlando to new york man yeah there was a guy who shit into one of those puke bags one time yeah i was on yeah dude so sick he just turned he had a his family and they were indian dude taking my daughter back take i took my daughter my me and my mom my daughter went to disney world

um two years ago and my daughter wanted to get on the plane she insisted on getting on the plane we're going back from flor to New York with her. Just tell us what happened. With her Cinderella dress. Who got shot? She had a Cinderella dress on because she fucking had her hair up with the Bippity Boppity Boutique, and she was in the Cinderella shit. And she had took two shits on the plane.

And it's so hard because I was a dad. I had to take her in there. I'm already a big guy. Oh, it's no real. Trying to maneuver a Cinderella dress. She was crying or whatever. But the last one, I just couldn't fucking figure out how to wipe her in there. I'm already a big guy trying to maneuver a Cinderella dress. She was crying or whatever, but the last one, I just couldn't fucking figure out

how to wipe her. So she had shit cake on the bottom of her Cinderella dress, but I just let her sit back in the middle seat next to some other dude because I was like, man, I'm not going to take,

she won't let me take off her Cinderella dress. You're going to have to deal with my baby shit on your knee a little bit. Yeah. That is how pink eye starts. And that's also dad life.

Yeah. That's dad life, dude. Dude, and if we're fighting COVID, we can't even beat pink eye, dude. You know what I'm saying? Why don't we have a vacuum you hook to your ass that pulls the poop out? That's a good point, dude. That's a product, dude.

That's a fucking product. I like that, dude. And just like I like your shirt, it's just missing one letter. I'm kidding, dude. Yeah, dude. Look at that shirt, dude. People buy them for different reasons. Yo, do you sell those things in Berlin?

I feel like it would go through the roof, man. If you're looking for some European cash, I would sell those in Munich immediately. Get that hitter back. You know what I'm saying, baby? Get that hitter back. You know what I'm saying, baby? Get that hitter. It's dicey, doggy. Roll them up. Roll them up.

Sales are booming down south. Not so much in Hollywood. Charlottesville is our biggest. Charlottesville is where it's at, dude. Charlottesville and Munich, man. Major sales, dude. If you get the sweatshirt and the t-shirt, you get a tiki torch with it. 100%, dude.

Yeah, but the kerosene is not included. You have to get your own kerosene. Yo, dude. That was the shirt of choice for storming the Capitol. Well, for the sports, for the sporty ones. For people that were athletic. Yeah. Yeah, not for these For people that were athletic. Yeah. Yeah, not for these fat fucks.

Yeah. This is like the Paul Revere set, and then there was a little bit more like the Chris Paul set. There's two waves of people. Some guys you saw storming the Capitol were just like, they had numbers on, they were just running. Yeah, dude. They were just going out for a jog of little lemons. Now they're doing 10 years in federal prison. Well, they said two Kenyans won it.

Yep. The masters, baby. The masters is what's happening. And you know it. And a lot of people think it's about slavery. And it's not. It's about golf. Obviously about golf.

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This is Moose coming at you from South Kakalaki, the upstate baby. You know, I'm sitting here chilling with my boy Joe. Hey, what's up, Joe? Yeah. And I'm just trying to think, you know what I'm saying? I just got my hair cut, got that mullet going on. That's a big Texas deal It's a little different from yours

But either way man What do y'all think about your hair stylist man Y'all go to the Hispanic hitters Or y'all be fucking with Michael Down at the Great Clips Let me know man That's the debate Hit me up

A little Bobby Shmurda reference at the end Yeah dude I think you gotta use Latinos man If you wanna fade like end. Yeah, dude. I think you got to use Latinos, man. If you want to fade like you, you need Latinos. Latinos. Well, what are you going to do? Lincoln Barber, if I want to fade like that. But I got a real stylist now.

She sold me. She goes, I'm the rock stylist. I went, oh, this is fantastic. I thought about it. He's bald. He's bald. Yeah. But I still hired her.

You need the rock steroid dealer. Yes. That's what you need. But I also have a connection, too. Oh, yeah. Go. But I also have a connection, too. All right, go. Hit me up. I think I got a lady cut to my hair named Whitney, and she fell down the stairs a couple of months ago, but she's back.

Yeah. She had carpal tunnel in both arms. So it was like in the arm. I thought it was just a wrist disease, and it went all the way up. So she basically. Cut it with her mouth? Oh, yeah. She was definitely.

Yeah. She just had a file yo dude i used to get my haircut at this place in in glendale ridgewood queens area where i'm from it's called street gang that was the name of the bar still open street gang dude dude if you go on the street gang instagram the guy that runs it is just fucking drunk out of his face all day every day with a solo cup giving people fucked up haircuts because he's drinking like crazy like Bacardi 101 and shit but one time I was in there getting a haircut and he fucking and not him but but one of the barbers um got arrested in the middle of my dude it was like half my haircut was done and it

was so packed in there I was just like this little white bitch they were like yo bro you got to sit there man we don't got any roofies I just sat there looking like a brain cancer patient for like three hours and it was too much. I walked out and I went home. I had no choice. I had to go home and I had half my hair done. And my fucking mom shaved my head because that's the only thing. Because this dude got arrested mid haircut. Street gang, dude.

Shout out. I think they're still open. Shout out street gang. They'll shoot your hair off in there. Yeah, dude. They 100%. Yeah. Where do you go now, though, Chris?

I went to I went yesterday to get a haircut out here yeah out here what city I think it was I think it was

Studio City I don't know dude Boys Town you should have hit me up you should have hit me up Doug I know I didn't know what else to do man it was one of those things

where it was such an I needed a fucking I didn't get a haircut for TV shit nah no the TV thing are you in TV dude my TV show

doesn't even have a hair they don't have a hair department a makeup department a wardrobe department i'm wearing hitter gear on the show and they keep telling me to put my shirt on inside out yeah dude this has no budget because the thing is with tv now like a majority of the budget goes to covid protocols they have nurses and so expensive it's so crazy dude unbelievable yeah man unbelievable man yeah i think uh i mean i cut my own hair for 32 years so you're talking to that guy right now you know i mean so i was used to really handling a lot of my own styles and then the place i was staying at

the mirror broke where you had like one of those reverse angle mirrors kind of and so once that went bad for me i had to resort to doing paid haircuts right your haircut like that is the best like that's a dope style now that a lot of people are you i was watching the ncaa tournament there's a lot of white dudes out there it was the original yeah no because now uh it's cool now yeah rihanna did it too like girls got a haircut just like did it three years behind me yeah no do you were there the only ones i ever remember having a mullet were you and Riff Raff. Those were the only two that ever had mullets. Raff was even after me.

Yeah, Deals was the original then. Deals was the original. Respect to Raff. Now, he has maybe the most beautiful haircut. No. When he does the braids and shit? No, when his stuff is so big. I mean, Jesus, look at that.

His new videos, I don't know where he finds these girls, dog. No, it's dope, dude. Damn, really? Oh, man, he coming with that. And then the original, original mullet was what we used to say when you and I did Opie and Anthony together as Eileen Wernos, the first serial killer who was ever executed. The monster movie.

Yeah, the original. Yeah, the way I used to part it was different a little more. The way you used to part it was just Eileen Wernos. No, but then there was that baseball player for the Phillies. What was his name? Kurt? John Kirk? John Kirk? John Kirk's the original.

Cruck. Cruck. John Cruck had it. John Cruck, I'm sorry. And then also, so did Dalton for the Phillies. Well, even if you go to the younger picture of her, if you go... Now, she would suck your dick and then shoot you. Third row to the right.

Oh, yeah, she was killing everybody. Right? Yeah, right there. Yeah, well, on death row, she grew it out a little bit. That is very... That's when I had that cut. Right. You had the same barber. It really is. I think she was from the south, not Louisiana. Oh, she was from Florida. death row she grew it out a little bit that is very i that's when i had that cut right you had

the same barber it really is i think she was from the south not louisiana oh she's from florida well she was on the interstate i mean you're from everywhere yeah that's all it is right she belongs in the streets if you're one of those southern states it's just all one state right it's just the south one big highway she died she had a did she have a child or not do you know she did have a child i know she did have a child she got elected she's the first female serial killer electric uh she died in the electric chair. Yeah. She was put to death, bro. Eileen Wuornos, a.k.a. Theo Vaughn.

And now, honestly, whose side are you on? Are you on Wuornos' side or are you on non-Wuornos? You're shooting Johns, right? I'm more on – the only reason – I was on Eileen Wuornos' side because until she took it too far and she killed an innocent person. Because mostly she was killing guys who just wanted to get their dick sucked, but then would abuse her when she would say stop. And she would, she used to sleep in the woods and she like a fucked up childhood.

But then she did kill like one guy who like, didn't want it. Like he, he went to just go give her a ride. Yeah. And no, she killed him for money. Killed him for money. That that's when it's like,

ah, you got to die now. You know? Yeah. That's where it got dark. Yeah. It's like guys are like hitting her and shit. I was like, I get it. If you're being a dirt bag and you get caught up and it's like, ah, you got to die now. You know? Yeah, that's where it got dark. Yeah, it's like... When guys were, like, hitting her and shit, and she was firing it, I was like, oh, I get it.

If you're being a dirtbag, and you get caught up, and it's like you die, it's like you die, you die. It's like this is the price you pay for wanting to get into real handjobs. You know what I mean? But if you're just a good dude trying to pitch up a hitchhiker, you shouldn't die for that.

You know? I don't think you should die for that. You also shouldn't die if you're just trying to get your dicks up. I mean, you shouldn't die. But no, no, no. I'm not saying you should die for that, but I'm saying if a byproduct of it is you dying

because you wanted to get your dick wet then it's like that's part of the game is you can go you can go against prostitutes but you ain't got you can die for any reason right

let's listen to this guy look at this kid Theo and Brendan I got a little debate club for you too close to the camera love it first sight real or fake way too close

and Theo you look like an Alaskan bull worm. And Brandon, you look like a jug of milk. Dude. Hold on. Like a juggalo. Dude. Alaskan. He called Theo an Alaskan bull worm and me a jug of milk?

Pull up that worm, baby. Get a good look at that worm. Like a juggalo, but he called you a jug of milk. One word. I actually like this kid a lot. Yeah, I actually like him. He does look like that worm. Yo.

He's just about to start going bald, too. He doesn't know it. I can tell from his angle, though, his shit's there. On keeps.com. Promo code chaos. Promo code chaos, baby. That's it. That pretty much looks like a jug of milk.

Jug of milk is hilarious. Because you do look like a jug of milk because you got a little ass head that looks like the top of it. Yeah. And you're big and got a big ass body. Yeah, it looks like Brendan. You boy saw daddy with a shirt off. No, daddy with a shirt off is a fucking woo.

You're back to this. You're back to this look now, in my opinion. Yeah. A little more muscle. Physique wise. Yeah. back to this. You're back to this look now in my opinion. Yeah. A little more muscle. Physique wise. Yeah. More muscle now or more muscle here?

More muscle now. More muscle now. I was like 238 there. What are you now? 260. Woo. This is also burning outside of a Black Friday sale

that at Entman's. So let's be honest. This isn't even him fighting at the UFC. Look, you can tell even though Brandon is in great shape, you can just tell

by his belly button he'll never be ripped. Look at that belly button. You got a squishy. It's not my DNA, dog. Something got an in great shape, you can just tell by his belly button he'll never be ripped. Look at that belly button. It's not my DNA, though. Something got to in and out of you got to squishy. It's just not my DNA. That belly button is not going to get in and out. The fish mouth belly button?

Yeah, dude. I'm going to put a quarter in it and see if a candy clumps on your butt. Brendan's the only guy also that once wore fish neck gloves into a fight. Did you really? Holy shit. Let's just be honest. Let's just be realistic, dude. Yeah, dude.

But they were high. Dude, they were really tough. They were top shelf, though. They'd been used to actually catch fish. Yeah, they were nice. So I will give Brent a credit on that. I will give Brent a credit on that. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. He said, love at first sight, real or fake. There's only attraction at first sight. There's no love at first sight. It's lust at first sight. Yeah, it's lust at first sight, real or fake. There's only attraction at first sight. There's no love at first sight. It's lust at first sight. Yeah, it's lust at first sight. That's as real as it gets. Trust me.

Trust me. And then as far as love at first sight. Damn, dude, you got a family. You got a family. Damn, bro. He's like, I trust my kid, but I don't love my kid. No, love is just getting familiar with a person. That's all it is.

But love and lust are both chemicals, man. When I went through a really bad breakup, my fucking heart was shredded. I was like, oh, this pain is never going to go away. This feeling will never go away. But I realized that it was just chemicals in my brain, man. And literally, when people are like, sometimes people I've heard be like, oh, what can I do? Is this pain ever going to go away? I'm like, yeah, just drink water, dude.

The more water you drink, the more you piss out these little toxins. Is that true? That's true. Yeah, because love is a chemical. So when you love somebody, no matter who it is, how much you love them, that will run out. Yes, dude. That chemical will run out, and then you just have a relationship with them. Why didn't y'all fucking say something?

But you're familiar with them. We don't even have a water machine here. What did you say? We don't even have a water machine here. Coffee help you say? We don't even have a water machine here. Coffee helped too, man. No, no, no, no. A diuretic or something? See, that's where shit gets weird.

Like, you guys are giving me, like, legitimate information, water to flush out. Then suddenly, Brendan throws in coffee will help also. Nah, dude. Coffee will help you pee though. Yeah, Brendan's like, also, on it helps. Check out these kettlebells. Don't go fighter.

Also, this new thick boy corn syrup will fucking help. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. Love at first sight ain't real. When you were young, though. Now, here's the thing. Before you could get even

erection, you could have love at first sight i love karma for a long time yeah that's not real there was a girl katie in my school that i loved i felt like do you think you had some love at first sight before sex was involved before lust could happen i think i think maybe just because you know it hits a point when you're like prepubescent where like you don't have those chemicals even available for lust yet. You can't get an erection. You don't have – your brain chemistry is legitimately different. So I think maybe there's some truth to that.

But I know for a fact even like you will learn to live with any – if you lost someone you love, you will just learn to live with the new – your brain adapts in 21 days to whatever its new normal is like just whatever it's you know i'm not saying it ain't i'm not saying it ain't going to be you know hard if you lose someone that you're very close to or you get broken up with and it's going to be difficult but your brain will adjust it's it's it's designed to adapt to be the new norm yeah yeah yeah that's why like anxiety like we don't even need anxiety anymore anxiety is like a useless kind of emotion it was available caveman it was there when we were caveman because we thought we needed it to hear a sound if we were going to get eaten alive by a fucking lion but that's why anxiety now is a thing that's not necessary anymore oh it's a hashtag on your fucking tuesday dude that's what it is dude it says begs the devil but yeah yeah i never put it out on a fucking tuesday anxiety tuesday is

always on another day i get that chin what's going on with you will you just at least say something you got anxiety chin no i'm curious about the 21 days is that true that's well i mean it's pseudoscience true but i well a habit takes 21 days yeah but your brain will adjust to whatever it knew like literally the chemicals the chemicals that have formed because when you form anything anything in your brain is chemicals, neurotransmitters, and that's how it works. It's just that is science. So it's like whatever you're seeing, whatever you're feeling, whatever you're smelling. Equation called equation.

Whatever you're getting into is just your brain's imagination of your brain's interpretation of what's happening. Like people say like reality is what your brain says it is. So when the 20, like already like I've been here for 28 days. I don't know. I don't remember what it's like to be in my apartment in brooklyn i was in for seven years i've adapted to this new space this space feels like home now i that's my i don't i don't remember even what my old place and you're flourishing in la you should stay flourishing yeah well we'll see we'll see well

your daughter wants a pool so don't be my daughter wants a pool so and you're not gonna get one new york i could get one if i move out to long Island. The only, it depends on the town, though. I got to go, Long Island I could get it, but I got to pay a lot of money in taxes. What are the money in taxes here? I mean, you got houses here that are $30,000, $40,000 a year in taxes. Tax money is big, even more. Yeah, so taxes are a big problem here. I just want to go where they voted for Trump, man, so my family's safe.

Sorry, I got some lady I got to wash her that was one of those it's one of those ones where you know if a Trump joke's gonna bomb that's the one because it's just it's just a little infant it was easy one yeah but yeah man if I would have taken like a big swing Theo and you would have been looking at your phone I would have been fucked just so you know yeah no we're good here's got somebody right here let's get out of us and maybe this man will help us out for a minute he's wearing a reverse visor which is a very which is a very interesting thing. He's got somebody right here. Let's get out of us, and maybe this man will help us out for a minute. He's wearing a reverse visor, which is a very interesting thing. Which is a very frat wish. And he's got a face like a woodchuck.

What's going on, Brendan and Theo? It's Chase from Wilmington, North Carolina. It's Tom Segura. And before my debate club question, I want to say, Brendan, you look like the only Samoan to get exiled off the island. And for you, Theo, you look like the last girl to get picked at a kickball tournament. But for my debate club question, would you rather have, for adult sports, would you rather have that softball hitter or that flag football footwork?

Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. You play that gay softball with the boys in Nashville. Yeah, I was on the squad for a little bit, man. We got discontinued. My team was all Asian, actually. Interesting. Yep. Yep.

All Asian softball team. Yeah, there was no violence or anything like that. There was a couple plays at the plate that got a little needed, I think, but that was just nature of the sport. Flag football is definitely the new white person football, let's be honest. It's growing in America by leaps and bounds for a lot of young. All levels. They don't want people to get tackle and cd anymore right and so they have a point i've been in some of the games some of the tournaments i i'm gonna go with that flag football

it just seems like the kids are having a better time there's still a lot of alcoholism surrounding softball people are drunk people dying car accidents on the way home and they just you know they're they're the avengers beat the fucking toaster ovens or whatever. 30 to 7. Doug, they still wear pants in softball? You still have to wear those pants? Some men. Are we talking about men's softball?

Because women's softball is like, if you take that away, you take away the gay community. Yeah. Women's softball, you got to keep. That's the only women's sport that's really hype, I feel like. Yeah. I like women's volleyball. And women's soccer. Women's soccer is dope. Soccer is dominant. Women's soccerball, you got to keep. That's the only women's sport that's really hype, I feel like. Yeah. I like women's volleyball. And women's soccer.

Women's soccer is dope. Soccer, they dominate. Women's soccer is dope. Women's soccer. Women's volleyball, beach volleyball, them baddies with the cheeks. They get all tan and spike them balls. Volleyball player in general, men or women, are just gorgeous people. They're just gorgeous.

They're so tall, though, and they're rich. Here's the thing about volleyball player. You could tell their parents are rich. Right. That's the thing I don't like about the sport like i'll watch poor people do anything bro i'll watch them fight in the street i'll watch world star yeah i'll watch them play you know hoops or whatever or you know soccer baseball anything i don't like watching a lot of times i don't like that's why i don't like sailing you know i respect people that do sailing

but i don't like it right because you, because you know they came for money. Yeah, I don't fuck with rowing, polo, golf. You fuck with bobsledding? Yeah, because anybody can do bobsledding. You just have to have a hill and some cold weather. You got to be fast. Like, Herschel Walker's never done before. They're like, you're fast. And he was in the Olympics.

Yeah. Herschel Walker was in the Olympics for what? Bobsledding. Bobsledding? Oh, shit. Because he's got thunder thighs. I can't believe he fits in that bobsledding. He's also super trumpy

he's big trump guy oh big time great kind of get a podcast together here's uh i know dustin poirier left conor mcgregor in the woods so here he is baby oh they got a fight what up brennan rest in peace culture corner coming at you with a debate club street beefs or ufc i'm talking that rat king corner man or that bee sting big league let me know what you think guys gang gang buzz buzz great question great question what would you rather be and you think ufc or one of those great street beefs like you know like rather watch or watch or watch probably watch watch like hype train fights wheelchair i think i'd rather watch a street fight dude I'd rather watch a street fight, dude. I'd rather watch a street fight.

Just because I feel like the thing with a street fight is there's genuinely a chance someone will get killed. The UFC, I know it can happen. It's never happened. But even to get hit with a punch or a kick and then you die on the way to the hospital is fun and exciting. But it's like, you know, I mean, somebody could actually go behind a tree and pull out a fucking machete and behead someone in a street fight.

Like, that's what I, you know what I mean? Like, you can use weapons of the street. And then they make money off it. Somebody will go in there

and take somebody's grandma and beat the shit out of them. Like the Purge. It's like double dragon. Yeah, it's like the Purge. Somebody thankfully hid this lumberjack axe

in this garbage. Yeah, dude, like, you don't understand, like, somebody could be getting beaten up and then their autistic brother comes out and bites you. Yeah, it, dude. Like, you don't understand. Like, somebody could be getting beaten up, and then their autistic brother comes out

and bites you. Yeah, it's fantastic. Like, that's a street fight. I like watching bald-headed women fight each other, because hair women, they're going to get their hair pulled. Oh, when they rip their wigs off? See, I like when the black girls fight, and they rip each other's wigs off, and then they can't pull their hair.

The first round, you should be able to have wigs. Second round, no wigs out there. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No wigs in a street. Yeah, yeah. I like that. But the UFC is great, but, you know, it's still a sport street fights is not a sport dude it's it's

like a fucking fight well there was a great video that came out and some of the best fights ever are out of the travelers community over there in ireland shout out ireland shout out scotland shout out northern ireland who just lost to us in soccer but still shout out shout out tyson fury yeah and let's see let's see one that just came out from a fellow, if you're not real keen on some of what these guys are doing. Talking about them gypsy street fighters? The Travelers, yeah, they're fucking crazy. Yeah, that's what they do, man. They're so good.

The Gypsy King. Their videos, you know, and the ones. There he is right there. You ever been in a street fight, Chris? Yeah, when I was a kid. Well, first, when I was a kid. If you're under 16, I want to hear about it. Oh, okay.

So that one, no, because one time, because I was like, I think I was 12 or 13, and I punched my friend Glenn in the face thinking he was going to fall off his bike. Oh, I punched a Glenn once. Dude, and he didn't even flinch, dude, and he beat the shit out of me with his bike. So that's one. Like a huffy or something? I remember I got fucked up. When I was 18, when I was 18, 19, I got into a big bar fight where there was this place

called Patty McGee's in Long Beach where I got thrown over the railing into the canal. Oh, wow. Someone fucked you up. Dude, that's how you know it's a good street fight when you got to swim to safety. That's what I had to do, dude. That's the Irish Olympics.

It sounds like the Irish triathlon. Hey, what guy did you like grab you by the belt in your neck and toss you in there? No, what happened was it was like a fucking by the belt in your neck and toss you no what happened was it was like a fucking melee and we were fighting and if this bar is like on the canal and somebody like got hit with a chair and then fell back and i was getting already pushed from the other way and it just was like the perfect physics where my feet were off the floor and i just flipped over with the table and the table hit me as it fell into the water too and i literally

had to swim to safety like a dickhead in the middle of the night you walked back to the party all wet yeah all wet well all my boys got kicked out i remember we didn't go home we took a cab to another bar yeah dude and i smelled like seaweed and pbrs and still met your wife yeah dude that's where i met my girl dude in pittsburgh that's a great way to meet a woman to is to be soaking wet at a bar, dude. I swear it's the only good way to meet a woman in Pittsburgh. Here was a video that came in from a traveler right here calling out somebody.

Let's see what's going on. John Gallagher got up on the phone and started giving out about my mother. My mother's going for an operation on her. John, the fella with the dicky snows for a face. I beat you seven days a week with our big dicky snows in you. I'm here in Dublin. What makes a fountain?

I, I, I I tell you you won't beat me. When I say you won't beat me, you won't beat me. Irish Puerto Rican? Yeah, dude. He looks like Joe Rogan and Bert Kreischer. That's Joe Kreischer right there.

Bert Rogan. That's Bert Rogan, dog. That's Bert Rogan, dude. That's Bert Rogan. That's gotta Crusher Right there Yeah Burt Rogan That's Burt Rogan Burt Rogan dude That's Burt Rogan That's gotta be his name On Twitter We gotta get more We gotta get more videos

From Burt Rogan The guy's like Hi I love your ring I swear to god Your mama was in a wheelchair And I met her on the I met her on a set of Too Fast Too Furious

Everything they say Makes no sense No sense Look at this dimey, though. Yeah. Yummy, yummy. Only the bulls you want, Nancy, yeah? This is a WhatsApp going out to the whole country.

I'm making this WhatsApp, yeah, for anyone who's giving me scandal about someone who's like a brother to me. I don't know tips. I only saw tips for the first time in years. And I swear my father's grave. He's like a brother. I wouldn't go around tips. I know nothing about tips

and don't get me wrong, I don't want to know anything about tips either. And the thing is, I'm making this WhatsApp for everyone all over the country who said that I was with tips for the last three days. My mother was with me for the last three days. I came up here to go to my grandfather's memorial.

It was his second year anniversary for his headstone. I was supposed to go to it. I didn't go to it because the car was overpacked. But I stood up here and I'm in my grandmother's house now. What the fuck, dude? I love this sidekick in the nuts. I know, but you could just tell this woman, I mean, this woman never gets good news after a pap smear.

After she gets a pap smear, it's always, you need to come back in a month because we saw some cells. You got HPV, lady. Her name should be Bad News Papsmere. Bad News Patty. I love how she's fucking, the only reason she's even in town is to go to the three-year memorial of her grandfather's headstone. But she didn't go because the car was too packed.

How did you even understand what she was saying? I didn't understand a word she was saying. Do you speak traveler? Those are gypsies, man. Yeah, those are dealers. Those are his people, bro. Those are your people, dude. Kush, girl, dude.

Bro, I've seen bad asphalt done, bro. Basically, they will say it's asphalt, they will do concrete, and then spray paint it black. And they say it's asphalt. I have no fucking clue what you're saying. I didn't understand a word you said. That's the hottest gypsy I've ever seen. Usually they're missing some teeth. It's pretty rough. She's gorgeous, dude. The best part is, in that video on YouTube,

the second comment is, I can't believe she's gypsy. I can't believe those copper pipes are still in the background. if you're still in the background. We got some Clow My Hound. Hey, here's your boy Luke and Jackson with that Australian dad. Also got our own little culture corner with Finn in the back. What's up, Finn?

We've got a Clow My Hound for you this time around. Got a little puppy yesterday. We got him on Theo's birthday. And his name? And his name is Theo. Yeah we named him after the great Theo Vaughan. So Clown My Hound guys. Beautiful. Him with that Australian dad boys. Aw. Oh that's awesome. So cute man. Beautiful. Awesome Awesome Oh look at him right there With that Oh Hey big boy Sick boy

I'm gonna be honest He looks a little more like Brendan I'm gonna say that Yeah He's got Chrissy D's ears He's a thicky He's a thicky And his face looks fucking

His face is beautiful It looks like his He was born with black face and his owner painted over it. His owner was like, I can't have a blackface. That is like Theo. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, I still got the nose. He's got a little bit of aboriginal in him, man.

So I like that. He's a good mix, I think, over there in Australia. That's a cute hound, man. Yeah, he's a cute hound. He's got that rump, obviously. Look at that peach right on him on the top of that limb, that lower limb. He's a lot like Boston, yes. Love it.

Oh, yeah. That dime dime. And did you hear that? They got it on your birthday. Oh, wow. Oh, that's cool, man. That's awesome, man. That's Australia.

Let's go ahead and keep that pup away from them snakes, the giant spiders. Yeah, dude. That's the thing. You got to do a lot of guardsmanship if you got a puppy in Australia. You got to really, it's no joke over there. You can't just let him out the backyard. Oh, your kid goes to play in the yard

or something, he never comes back. Get to eat my fucking dingo, crocodile. Yeah, man. And it's wild. I think that, and I've talked about this before,

that God put all the criminals in Australia. Yes. And then all the criminals of the animal kingdom are also in Australia. Yeah, dude. The most dangerous animals. At one time on the planet, the most dangerous people and animals were all in Australia. Australia, dude. It's a dangerous fucking territory, man.

Pretty legendary. I've never been out there. You been out there? Oh, yeah, man. It's great out there. You been out there? Yeah. My favorite place, man, to go perform, I think, maybe.

It's amazing. Because they just embrace this style of comedy and anything goes. Because a lot of comedians don't go out there. So when you go, they're so thankful. Really? The crowds are insane. They're great, man. Are they open right now or still not with COVID, right?

No, they're super locked down. Super locked down. Are they though? Yeah, super locked down. You can't do any shows. And New Zealand's super, super locked down. No, I think Australia's open. New Zealand's economy's fucked.

Shit. Because they've been locked down. They don't let anyone in. They shut down all businesses. They've only had one case, but they can't do shit. How did you know you guys had fans in Australia? Did you just take a whim or take a risk, or you just know? You can get a breakdown of your demographic.

Yeah. I can see by, obviously, North America's number one, then UK, and then Australia. Oh, Brendan's doing all the paperwork. I just took a flyer on it, took a risk. You just took a risk, and it worked out. Went out there, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But they Brendan's doing all the paperwork. I just took a flyer on it, took a risk. You just took a risk and it worked out. Went out there, yeah. But they'd already been there, though. Brendan had been there and somebody else had been there.

Brian Callens had been there. No, Brian's never been there. Brian's never been there. What? So, Brian had never been there, but... I went there. Brendan had been there. And it was good, and so that helps.

I want to just go out there. Dude, I want to do a show for Australia in lockdown during COVID. See, they're not allowing any flights. Not allowed right now. You can't come in there. Oh, you can't even go out there. Dude, I want to do a show for Australia in lockdown during COVID. See, they're not allowing any flights. Not allowing right now. You can't come in there. Oh, you can't even go in there, dude. And New Zealand's even more locked down. What if I showed up with a rattlesnake or something?

They might let you in. Could I get in? You could definitely get in. What if I showed up with a koala bear? Could I get in, dude? If you show up with a John Wayne Gacy, you could get in. John Wayne Gacy, there's a crazy documentary coming out on him that they think he killed like 10 times as many

people as he said he killed. He just wouldn't tell them where the bodies were. Like, even before he would die, they were like, what an asshole. Can you please tell us where some of the bodies are? He's like, nope, nope. You gotta find out. Is this on Netflix? I read about it in the New York Post. I don't know if it's on Netflix. How creepy was he dressed up as a clown at a kid's B-Day party? Well, he looks like

me a little, sadly. A little bit, yeah. Same nose. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't stick on a diet, that's your future, Bubba. Yeah, parties. Well, he looks like me a little, sadly. A little bit, yeah. Same nose. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't stick on a diet, that's your future, Bubba. Yeah, dude. Yeah, John Wayne Gacy was one of the bad ones, man, in the crawl space. Oh, I would hate that. I would hate to be over at some guy's house. But was a lot of it gay men's, too?

It was all gay men. Oh. That's what he was. That's what he'd go after. See, that makes me mad, dude. Like, pick on somebody. Like, unless it's a real tough gay man and you're fighting to kill him. Right.

But you're just sneaking up on a gay man to kill him, bro. Dude, that's like Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer only. Another gay dude. One of his victims who survived, this is how crazy Jeffrey Dahmer was, one of his victims who survived

said the victim said he opened up the refrigerator and there was somebody's head on a plate in his refrigerator. And he told him what it was, a cake? Yeah, well, no, he said it was he's like oh he's like i got a bunch of mannequins he's like see how well like i can like paint faces and all that he was like put himself up as like an artist he had really just beheaded a dude the night before and put

on a plate like it was watermelon slices dog how about how about the one twink he drill he like drugs him drills into his brain the guy comes to runs out small asian dude runs out gets cops and then dommer's like no that's my dude like he's crazy and the cops because he was gay was like oh you're fine man go back inside wow and then he ate him and then he ate him ahead of his time yeah asian guy asian guy ate his fucking brain literally there's all little twinks yeah man literally they mess with those big bears are tough to track down trough to tack that's the thing like because i used to i always used to think like i would get scared of serial killers and all that like oh what if ted bundy gets me what and then i looked in the mirror once i was like i'll fucking

beat the shit out of all these guys dude imagine ted bundy tried to i'd fucking rape him i mean i would turn it all around richard ramirez would fuck you up but outside that you'd be good rich ramirez would fuck me up if he catches you with a wild punch. But he's pretty lanky, though. He's tall, lanky, and can fight. The tricks were different, guys. In the 70s and 80s, the tricks were like, oh, I can't. There's a mist.

I can't find a school book in my car where you come out and look for it. It was just so easy to convince people. Now we're hip to it. These guys were picking on not lowest common denominators, but weaker, physically weaker people. That's're hip to it. These guys are picking on lowest, not lowest common denominators, but weaker, physically weaker people. That's a good point, dude. My daughter, like now, it's like, yo, you're not going to get my daughter

to come to your van with candy. She'd be like, do you have an NFT? Do you have crypto? I'm not a Jolly Rancher. Fuck you. Hello, fresh. You got to get it. If you haven't been feeling fresh

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Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh, damn. Oh, damn. You are not welcome in that city. So my wife is expecting. Congrats. Kid number four. Congrats, Lex. Polynes four. Oh, God.

Polynesian. Like you're fucking Amish. So my key word for you today is pregnancy sex. Oh. I don't know about you, but once I find out, I just get the ick. Yeah. Yeah, brother. And it's a no-go for me. No-go.

Hard pass. That's just one threesome I am not willing to have. Yeah. It's funny, dude. Very funny. Very funny. This might be more of a question for Brendan. He's been there before.

Correct. But who knows? Looking at Theo, he does look like someone who has stabbed a couple pregnant milfs in his day. And so, yeah, that's my king of the sting it. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. This guy's energy. I like that.

He has four kids. Yeah, guy's got four kid energy. I have to say that really well. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. This guy's energy. I like that. He has four kids. Yeah, guy's got four kid energy. You have to say that really well. They're finally chilling, watching a cartoon. He's like, all right, fuck it. And his fingers are crossed his wife doesn't see this on the internet. He's like, dude, he's got to be quiet about it. He's like, because he gives me the ick.

Yeah, gives me the ick. Me too. My dick doesn't work. My girl's pregnant right now. It's seven months. No, I mean, it's- You're into it? It's so far- They say it's healthy. It's so so far so good the reason why i think we have less sex is because

we already have two kids if this was if we didn't have a child this is the first child then we would have energy whatever we don't have any energy from the two kids then plus on top of that she's making a third one so it's like oh you have two i well i have my stepson and then my daughter i don't know my daughter and then i have a stepson is mixed didn daughter. Oh, I didn't know that. Now my daughter and then I have... And the stepson is mixed, isn't he? He's all mixed. No, she's smart, my girl. She only goes whites, man. She only...

Anybody... I didn't know you had a steppy. I got a steppy. You're a stepdad. You're a stepdad. I'm a stepdad. Oh, you're a stepdad. I'm a stepdad.

That's a tough game. I'm a biological dad. You know? Yeah, dude. Oh, my God, guy. It's good, man. I know, bro. What are you trying to do, dude?

Dude, I'm trying to get another sitcom. You need to get in a fire then. You think it's what it is? I think you got to go H-Cap, fam. Chin, why don't you come and say something? So what's going on with you guys? I've never had a wife or a baby, so I don't know how much I can. But in Asian culture, is it popular to fool around with your girlfriend?

I highly doubt it. Wow. I've never even seen my parents, ever since they had us, I've never even seen them kiss. Yeah. Right. It's like it's done. Once you have kids, it's just done. Do your mom and dad have the same exact haircut?

What? Do your mom and dad have the same haircut? It's not an Asian thing. It's just you look like the kind of guy like old school parents because my mom and dad had the same exact haircut. Did you have the same haircut? No, my dad has short hair. My mom has long hair.

Long hair. Okay. That's a good choice. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, it gets weird because that would be the thing for me. When I get married, if you and your wife, if it gets to the point where you all have the same haircut and you guys are having sex, dude, that should be a hate crime. Yeah, dude. You both got bowl cuts.

Yeah, dude. But then also, how crazy is it? you know you're both out of the game you're not trying to meet anybody else it's a wrap to put a bowl on each other's hair to cut it and then fuck after dude that's some straight up hillbilly shit when my parents got divorced and my mom didn't change her hairstyle i knew she just gave up on men i was like yo lady like you're out here free why do you still have a cut like dad? But she just, you know. She would get it. She would just go to Supercuts and be like, give me a number six. That's just what it was.

I remember my mom bought a bikini one time. You got hot six. My mom bought a bikini one time. We thought she was a whore. Yeah, dude. We didn't know what was going on. She just needed a swimsuit. Hold on.

You thought she was doing tricks? I'm still on the podcast. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Where are you guys? You know where they are, you asshole. You know that Jerry's Deli piece of shit? You gotta get going, Chris. 10 more minutes for us.

They said 5-10 more minutes. Where are you guys? I'm right across the street. I'm at the one by us. I know. Go get her, Chris. You should leave. Speak her. Yeah.

Well, because I'm on the podcast. I just rolled over the phone and saw you calling. I know, but I just, I didn't know that you were calling. I didn't know you were calling or texting. Sorry. You should know, Chris. You should fucking know, dude. All right.

So I'm coming in five minutes. Go. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. I have nine missed calls from her. Oh, know, Chris. You should fucking know, dude. All right, so I'm coming in five minutes. Go. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. I have nine missed calls from her. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. She's mad for sure.

Why'd you do that, dude? Dude, I fucked up. Blame it on Theo. Because I'm going to see your wife. You're going to send a JPEG of me, dude, and say, this guy did it every time it works. Where are you guys going to lunch? Lunch. Well, who cares, bro?

We can't talk about that. His wife is mad at him. But it's already seven months. I think that's pregnancy stuff. It's seven months pregnant. You know, it's just like, that's the thing you got to deal with a pregnant woman. And that's what's going on with sex. It's like, whatever they're going through emotionally, you just have to fucking deal

with it. She wouldn't be like that if she wasn't pregnant. But she's just, there's urgency. She probably has to pee. Latin and pregnant, dude? Latin and pregnant, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I probably should.

Do you just take it? Or do you fight back? No, you don't fight back, dude. and pregnant, dude? Latin and pregnant, dude. Yeah, I probably should. Do you just take it or do you fight back? No, you don't fight back, dude. What are you talking? Fucking no way, dude. I'm not going to fight back with a pregnant fucking Latino woman. Unbelievable. She'll hit me with my unborn baby and then stick it back in. Brennan wants to fight pregnant women, dude.

That's where he's at. I'll verbally fight back. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See, I just... Nah, I don't fucking say anything, dude. You got to take the heat, man. I just got to take the heat, man.

So, yeah, man. I guess I fucking got to go. You know? Wow. No, fuck it. I'm not leaving. Yeah. That's it.

That's it. That's it. Did I want it? I would go, man, but that's... Give us a hot five. All right. No. Let me go.

Let me just see how many actual missed calls it was. Nah. Yeah. it was nine missed. That's a lot. Yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, because then what will happen is because when she's mad, then what will happen is she'll start going on. The rest of the day is ruined.

Well, the day is already ruined. Probably I would say the week is ruined now, but then we'll go on the Instagram. She'll go on the Instagram and then who's this bitch who liked her? Who's that? Who's that? So then it just becomes an issue where it's like I got to get there now, distract her. We go get her nails done. We get some lunch. We go to the Instagram And then who's this bitch Who liked her Who's that Who's that So then it just becomes an issue Where it's like I gotta get there now Distract her

We go get her nails done We get some lunch We go to the park We hang out And then it's like She's not looking at You know You want hopefully

Some white person Yells at you for no mask Oh my god To distract Take all the pressure off me Yeah cause she would We could hire a guy We'll get a guy

Dude We'll have Nick do it Nick go yell at his wife Yeah Yeah no Head on a swivel though here's the thing dude here's the thing when she gets this mad like this she will sing she can single-handedly bring back the asian hate i don't want to do that wow i don't want to do that we

could dress nick up as asian and send him over there you can even send chin just so it feels real yeah authentic chin are people still hating you guys or do you feel like the fad's kind of gone or what's going on? Any update? I mean, it's way more in the news now and it's definitely up by like a thousand, you know by this time within a month It's like, you know 2,800 but now it's like 3,800 It's some some crazy like 3801 attack attacks on your head on a swivel when you leave the studio I'm not no you're such a big Asian. Yeah. Yeah, it's just crazy. Who's doing it? All different walks of life, man.

A lot of homeless people, too. If you look. And people that are trying to rob them, too. It's all homeless. I don't know. Homeless people. Homeless people. Robbers.

Yeah, man. There's douchebags, too, that actually hate Asians that exist. How could you do it? It's so weird. I understand if it's a 90-year-old dude at a VFW who's got a frickin' itch to scratch with some Kong or some Japanese. I get it. I get that. understand if it's a 90 year old dude at a vfw who's got a freaking itch to scratch with with the with some kong or some japanese i get it i get triggered them yeah i get that ptsd ish yeah somebody dropped a fucking uh you know someone dropped a book and he snaps out of it

like it's vietnam yeah that makes sense that makes sense yeah but the other stuff is that i don't know what it is maybe just people but this also could be idiots who blame asians for covid yeah that's what it is some of those two that's what it is they're fucking idiot that's crazy it's yeah that's crazy man i can't believe that i'm sorry you guys are getting hated on man thanks theo so if i see an asian i'll hug them that's my thing that's what i do too though that's true hug him soft that's what i do i fucking love asian people dude oh i'll fucking love him more than you dude i don't know man how many asian how many asian people have you had sexual intercourse with one asian two eight two asian you four asians oh wow and if you want to count if you want to count india as asian probably i would say about about 60 or 70 asians

for me dude a chubby indian girl that's my go-to i i thought for sure i was going to marry a chubby indian woman oh and give the pants like a dowry and shit i love it dude i'll get a lamb a chubby a little a little thick indian girl yummy i like that curry when you come home that's what i like and here's the here's the other good news. Your wife's pissed right now. I was going to say, here's the other bad news for my life. It's because she knows what episode this is going to come out on. She doesn't listen to the show, but she will listen specifically to this episode. And we'll hear all this.

So when you go back to Nashville, I may have to sleep at your house if it's an occupied. Come through, man. Yeah, dude. That'd be great. You're going to be out here for a few more weeks, aren't you? I'll be out to the end of May. Oh, yeah. Dude, I'm going to see you a bunch.

Dude, I'll come back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. All right, babes. See you in the culture corner. I'm just walking out. Thanks, bro. Hey, babe. Hey, babe. Hey, babe.

Thank you. You guys are going to keep going, right? Yeah, we're going to keep going for a few minutes, man. Love you, man. Good to see you, man. I've got to text somebody really quick. Thanks, Chris. See you this weekend, homie.

See you this weekend, my friend. Damn, he's out, man. He's out, and I also got a dip I gotta get Tiger from school Are you serious? Yeah man Can you command this? Huh? Yeah I'll do it

I'll handle it Thanks man because my back's been killing me The last few weeks Gang gang bro I'm so glad you're back man I fucking love you Austin April 22nd 24th I'm so glad you're back man I fucking love you Austin April 22nd 24th I'm out

sorry Chin and Theo I gotta text too I gotta head out are you serious yeah what do I mean I can't talk about it I gotta go

but I'm sorry alright Chin do you even know how to do the things yeah I can try. All right. No idea who this person is. This is like that scene on Spaceballs or Star Wars or when everybody else dies and it's just like the last two people in the car or like the space car?

Spaceship. Okay, so let's go ahead and play this clip here. All right. Hi, guys. I'm Abby. I am in Melbourne getting out and about amongst the gum trees. Ooh. Very beautiful.

Got a debate club for you. It's very beautiful. Got a debate club for you. 1990s originals. That Jeff Goldblum goodness. Jurassic Park. Or primetime Robin Williams in the original Jumanji. It's a toughie.

Anyway, let me know. Cheers. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Cheers. G'day, lady. So Jumanji yep or jurassic park well chin i'm going to tell you straight up jumanji was more of a fictional kind of like like uh experience of the imagination i feel like so you were going into a realm and you were battling different animals from the zoo in a world that was inside of your own, not in your own head, but that was like more through the looking glass kind of thing. Jumped out of a book.

Yeah. Yeah. Whereas Tyrannus, what was the other thing? Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park was like right there they beat people beefing in the streets you know it was like basically like pita's worst nightmare was like pita i would love to see pita back then during dinosaur times like let's protect these animals and then the animal just comes and completely eats you and your whole family. Like, okay, PETA lady, you're dumb, right? So, but I don't know what to do, man. I think for me, young lady, I'm going to go Jumanji.

I think Jumanji, for me, has things I like. The board game. It has imagination. And the guy's dad worked at like a shoe store or something, I think. Remember? I remember. When Jumanji's dad died and they gave him the and it was and he had been raised by his dad who i think had the shoes but um that's all you like it so i'm gonna go jumanji yeah because t-rex look we got enough shit going on we got enough asian hate right now i think the last thing we need is a little bit more uh

jurassic park but i think that australia is more like jurassic park like you'll be out there and you don't know what's gonna really pop out from behind the barbie you know what hasn't really been grilled well what do you think brother i'm all about jurassic park but also jurassic park and jumanji do you remember how like seeing any asian people in those movies oh no man they put you they don't really do you think you would you could we handle an asian superman do you think right now i think you have to ease into it maybe like a side character first and then jump into it but for right now i don't know if you can handle just the main character being like a superman why does a lot of asian people have the name like sunny or something like that like

do you guys get an american name from a certain person is there like a place people go to when they come from asia if they're fresh to america that that they actually get because it's always like linda lydia sunny yeah you know what is? It's our parents watching American movies. And then when they get over here, they want to name them those American movie stars' names. Oh, yeah. I did meet a Thor recently, which I thought was kind of interesting. And I did meet a Samuel L. Jackson, which I thought was a very interesting name. Is that true, though?

That's why? That's, yeah. And there's another one. There's a girl's name Grace. There's like a whole documentary on why so many Korean people named their daughters Grace. Really? Yeah, I totally forgot what it was, but Grace is a super popular name for Koreans. Oh, Joy.

Joy is one. Joy is a good one. It's actually just kind of like a lot of happy names really. And I guess, do you think people from Asian cultures think that in America we won't be able to pronounce the names? Or do you think that they actually want a different, fun American name? I think they want something that's well-known and famous, popular. Ah. Yeah.

American name. But now, nowadays they want to keep their Asian names. Like, I wish I could go back and change my name back to Jin. Well, I'm legally Chin now when I got naturalized. Are you? But my real name is Jin Su. So I want to get back to that name now. Jin Su.

Yeah, Jin Su. Yeah, dude. I could see that, man. I would see a Jin Su. I could see if I knew somebody named Jin Su. I could imagine myself knowing you if that was your name. And you pronounce it or you say it with the last name first, so it would be Lee Jin-soo. Ooh, damn.

Lee Jin-soo. There you go. It sounds like a lot of responsibility, though. Yeah. Like, that name sounds like a lot more than Chin. Like, who gives a... Yeah. You know, we care what Chin does, but it's also like, oh, Chin got...

Yeah, Chin died in an accident, but Lee Jin-soo. Lee Jin-soo. It is more. Yeah, more character. It's more character. It's more depth. It's more, yeah. It also feels like a lot more responsibility. Like, would you study in college like Chen?

And people were like, oh, yeah, I took Chen, man. I was an athlete. But then people were like, oh, would you study like Lee Jin-soo? And you're like, oh, my God. You were in fucking the econ building. Yeah. You remember David Seo, your boy yeah david so he heard my name my actual korean name he was like oh it's a very strong korean name like a powerful

korean name damn i didn't even know huh yeah man i think uh i think i wonder if i could be asian or not i always feel like it's so hard to meet as girls, man, because I would love to have an Asian child. Oh, half white, half Asian. Yeah. So cute. But also, I just, and Asian kids seem like they behave well. Is that true or is that just the ones that I see? Because of their parents.

So as long as you're like one of them parents, they're going to behave very well and be very strict. Damn. I'm very disciplined. The parents would be very strict. Really? You would have to well and be very strict. Damn. And very disciplined. The parents would be very strict. Really? You would have to be very, very strict. Do Asian kids, you have to wake them up in the morning

or do they get up? You have to wake them up in the beginning, but they're going to get up right after they start learning. Dang. Yeah. White kids are always just milling around or fucking looking at Blink-182 shit on the YouTube.

Just wasting time. Some of them. Yeah, some of them. Just wasting time. Some of them. Yeah, some of them. You're right. A lot of this is generalization. I like to generalize. What else did you say? Oh yeah, so I said Jumanji. Yeah, I take Jurassic Park. Okay. Because it's real. Realer. There you go.

What else do we have to do? Is that it? I think that's it. Was there anything else on the screen do we have to do? Is that it? I think that's it. Was there anything else on the screen that we have to do? I could pick one, but I think we covered it. Why don't you pick one? Let's get into one more just because I haven't been here for a while.

I guess Nick forgot his phone. He's probably going to be running back to the studio. I guess there's maybe something with this chick. I don't know. Here we go. All right, how about I guess there's maybe something with this chick. I don't know. Here we go. All right, how about this? It's Brian Monarch right here. Let's take a listen.

And this is a debate club. Okay. What up, King of the Sting? This is Chris coming at you from Kansas, and I got a debate club for you. Airplanes or helicopters? Jeez. Let me know.

Wow. This is know. Wow. This is exceptional, man. I'm going to say airplane. I think helicopter has that, you know, it's got that bad juju in the air since the Kobe crash. Yeah. You know, Bill Burr's out there flying around, and he can get agitated sometimes, so who knows what kind of vibe he could be going through in a day and also is out there on the airwaves. You know, so I think helicopter just seems, if you look at a helicopter, it seems a little bit more like some high school kid could be controlling it in the distance.

Whereas a plane, I feel like it seems a little bit more, it makes sense like geometrically and aeronautically aeronautically so that's what I feel like is it when I see that I feel like a plane is maybe better for that you could have more people in a plane so if you want to bring a friend or have a friend be with you you could have that uh my I have a cousin that has five planes, I think, named James. I know he likes it. And I've been in planes, man. Familiar. Yeah, familiarity.

So I think it's cool that you're up there and can handle it. I would love to now have a man who could fly me from, or a woman who could fly me from city to city to tour and do it out of a small plane, a Cessna-type plane. And there you have a picture that's an exploding helicopter right there so thanks for bringing that up so that pretty much yeah oh that's risque bro god planes at least you feel like if something goes wrong you have a chance you glide somewhere yeah yeah helicopter i don't know yeah yeah and i feel

like with planes also they could put a um i wish i think everybody on the plane we should all be flying with uh parachutes on yeah i think it's ridiculous that we don't like that way if something goes on everybody's got a shot you know I remember thinking that as a kid too. Like why don't they have them? Yeah. Like what is a big deal? Yeah. So, but.

There you go. All right, man. All right. Well, if you guys need us, you know where to find us online. And anything else we need to say, Chint? I think that's it. It's kind of crazy with everybody being gone. I know.

Everybody just bailed. It feels like that day is like the last few days of high it. It's kind of crazy with everybody being. I know everybody just bailed. It feels like that day. It's like the last few days of high school when everybody's kind of getting out early and stuff. And you're one of the kids that stays until the end of the day. That was me. Yeah, I can see that, man. I can see that, bro.

All right, gang, gang. Brendan and Theo, fighter and weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concerts.

Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous. Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrew Santino. Every song a hit like the great Bambino. Brendan ate the queso and the quesoritos. But everything's going gonna be fine.

Hate on me, I do not mind. Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times. They sliding into my DMs. A couple of you tried but couldn't beat him. Quit playing like Nintendo DS. You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz. Meaning y'all edible. Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible.

Brennan's son hit me up. He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King and the sting, king and the sting King and the sting, bee sting, rat king King and the sting, king and the sting Got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string King and the sting, king and the sting King and the sting, bee sting Outro Music