The Golden Hour - Episode 120: Arts And Shafts

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

The boys talk churros, ranch girls, Mississippi BBQ, redheads, polyamory, corn hole, yard games, peg leg crutches and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash sportsbook. For details, gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or in Indiana, 1-800-9-WITH-IT. Today's episode is brought to you by Unleashed with the Dingo and Danny. A new podcast fueled by monster energy. Yep. Unleashed gets up close and personal with the best in alternative action and motorsports. Get ready for untold stories, career-defining moments,

and inside secrets from the world's best athletes and trailblazers. Don't miss out on all the action. Do not do that. New episodes drop every two weeks. On Mondays, listen wherever you get your podcasts. Or watch on monster energy's youtube unleashed with danny and the dingo fueled by monster energy first of all yard games and i'll be honest with you as a gateway to homosexuality dog it can be yeah hey let's play right here get a few bears deep you start winning you're a. Yeah. Oh, I can't believe you made that shot. Your shirts are off.

Dude, who skins? We're all skins. Everybody skins. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is.

Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. It's scary out there. You still doing jiu-jitsu in Nashville? Yeah, man. I got a one strike. Oh, congrats, dude. That's a big deal.

You look like you moaned during jiu-jitsu. I do. I do. Only a little, man. Why does he always go ass down, face up? Only if the guy's handsome. That's hilarious. Brennan looks like he has to...

What's that thing you have to use when you have to start your car with that blow thing? Oh, the alcohol? The breathalyzer? Yeah, that blow starter. Brennan looks like he'll fucking blow start a Starburst right now in that fucking shirt, dude. No, the shirt looks like like a blow start a bunch of dudes brennan looks like the guy that asked you to put one hand on his belly when he farts dude dude that's crazy dude

brennan looks like the kind of guy you tell him hey i made something for you put your hand on my stomach and then you fart but he falls for it again and again every time dude i made something for you what are you 12 god man yeah yeah this whole fucking show is 12 are you kidding me we had that chatty artist in here was he on all the adderall what's going on that dude's like oh i painted this on uh on adderall he showed me some ofderall? What's going on there, man? That dude's like, oh, I painted this on Adderall. He showed me some of his other art. It's just drawings of Adderall. They described what he wants to do next.

Yeah. One of them, he chiseled Adderall into pieces of stone. I'm like, this is insane. And I looked at his girl shoes like this. Yeah. One of his paintings was this draw. He drew a bunch of words. He's a chatty Cathy.

Usually artists aren't that chatty, man. Usually they're really silent and they wear sometimes. Like a cape or something, I think sometimes. Yeah, a cape. Maybe a face mask of some sort. Yeah. Bracelets. Lots of bracelets.

Yeah, a lot of bracelets. Yeah, bracelets. A lot of, some of them you'll just see them wearing like a rumor on some sort. Yeah. Bracelets, lots of bracelets. Yeah, a lot of bracelets. Yeah, bracelets, a lot of... Some of them, you'll just see them wearing like a rumor on their body. Yeah, a lot of them, they look like they're styled by Jeremy Piven. Yeah, very avant-garde. A lot of bracelets.

Very avant-garde, dude. What do we got going on here today, man? Gang, gang, bro. We've got some people waiting to talk to us. Do we want to talk to some people on Zoom? I want to talk to Chin. It's only been 120 episodes to try and get into a conversation with him. It is 120.

I know nothing about Chin. Is this 120? Today's 120. Wow. God damn, 120? Since day one, too. That's a bunch. That's crazy.

And it's once a week? We've been doing this 120 weeks? It sounds like a shit ton. It's 52 weeks in a year? It's four years, isn't it? Wow. It's a little over two and a quarter years. Two and a half?

Two and a quarter years. Dude, there's a little too much cream in your fucking coffee there, playboy. That's you. You know how I know you like dick? How much cream you have in your coffee, man? Dude, I don't like no dick, boy. You think I like dick, dog? I'll tell you this.

If I saw somebody else's dick dude i would be shocked you think yeah man you think i'm seeing somebody's dick you're crazy dog you've never been a lot you don't get in that jujitsu locker room after moaning all goddamn practice i don't want to go play a game for two hours to have an excuse to go look at men's at night yeah that's fair or daytime there's a lot of kickers are like that yeah it's usually the kickers dog i could have been a kicker i could have been a fucking uh probably a good referee i think no you look like a long snapper you do you do my friend cam canada is a long snapper in the league for pittsburgh yeah oh damn how good of a friend i hate when people say friend how good a friend

we talk about him buddy thank you for being honest i hate when people say that too yeah like chin's a buddy huh i've known chin for seven years it's hard to get to friend with asian because they it's such a limited you don't get a lot of and this is the only reason i would ever beat an asian and i'm gonna be real honest and real honest. Just get a reaction out of them? To get some information out of them. Well, what if they don't speak English? That's alright. They speak English, dude. If you beat them enough.

I'll roll the streets. I'll roll the streets and bring a translator. Dude, I'll drop them off at a VFW and let those old boys beat them up. You know what I'm saying? Let Nick's grandfather beat him up, dude. I'll drop him off at an American Legion. Nick looks like he saw his shadow, too.

I do want to say that, bro. Yeah. Nick, were you on a bender all night, dude? Why do you look like this? I don't know. I don't know, actually. You just woke up that way? It's a really bad length of my beard right now.

No, you look real pale, too. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You weren't doing stuff last night? He looks like he might die. He looks like he should host a show called Between Two Urns. It does not look like he could live long. You look like you passed out in a lake and then walked into fucking work.

I'm so glad this camera's black and white. You can't tell. Oh, no, it'll pick it up. Yeah, it ain't that tight. He looks like Jason Voorhees' younger brother kind of right now. And no offense, Nick, you look like a handsome guy. You have beautiful blue eyes. Yeah, you definitely slept in the dryer.

I caught myself as I left the bathroom. I'm like, I'm about to go on camera. That's crazy. He's like, hopefully they don't notice. Yeah, I wouldn't even go on drawing right now looking like that. Yeah, I wouldn't even have Stevie Weeby draw you, man, right now, man.

I put it up on my wall. Yo, I love that Hall of Fame art, man. That's that before picture. Yeah, Nick looks like he's been Zooming with his dad all night. We were hashing some stuff out. We have issues to work through man Yeah Yeah Doug

That's crazy man So does this guy though And this is Tristan What's his name? Oh wow Oh wow What's up you little sugar hookers Intersting it for ya

He's about to die Brendan's here At home tattoos Gang gang About to get that rat king right now Damn on himself too At home tattoos. Gang gang. About to get that rat king right now. He did that himself? Brendan. You're going on my butt.

That's an honor. That's an honor. Because when them boys are pounding it out, they're going to see my face. It's going to be dope. Yeah, you just did it. That means advertised. You're talking about gay gay stuff i'll tell you right now and i'm getting my sleeve on my leg done nothing hurts more than your leg with tattoos really oh dude i can take some i've been

through some shit in my life fighting grown men in a steel cage in my underwear that hurts getting a tattoo on your leg fucking hurts really oh think about doing some drugs in austin when i get it done i heard a little zanny helps out little zanny why are you licking your lips because i can't wait you're scaring everybody sorry man i'm sorry i'm sorry man um that guy does he have the wrecking tattoo yeah that was his leg that's a dope ass That's what you know you made it, dog. That's incredible, man. First of all, thanks for getting the tattoo. That's a good one, too.

That thing's dope. Yeah, that's nice looking. I would get that tattoo. Yeah, thanks for getting the tattoo. Make sure you keep it clean. Oh, here's Andrew Santino. He's probably complaining about... What it do, babies? What's up, Playboy? What's up, dog? keep it clean oh here's andrew santino he's probably complaining about here's andrew what

do you do babies what's up playboy what's up dog not too much how's it going how's it going hanging in there man he's driving too where are you driving to brother you going to work or what some people gotta work amen daddy what type of um uh field are you in? You do what type of stuff? Land or something? Plumbing. Plumbing company. Okay. Underland. Yeah.

Laying that pipe. You know what I mean? Oh, underground arts. Where are you calling in from, Doug? San Antonio, Texas. Oh, yeah. Yes, sir. Hotel Emma, baby.

That's my shit. We tried to come see you brendan but uh got canceled a few times because of covid and then you got covid yeah i got covid but i think i got into all good though oh yeah i heard a real hotbed for disease um yeah i ate a couple sleazy churros yeah you ain't lying brother yeah i see churros i look at churros like theo looks at cocaine i see it i will fucking snort the fuck out of a churro yeah thankfully churros come in that line bro that's how i like them when i hate the churros yeah when the churros you can't get them broken

up oh i hate that or when they're too stiff oh yeah i like that soft churro. Yeah, sure you do, guy. Nobody believes that. By the way, however you like your churro, that's how you like your churro, man. Yeah. Brendan likes to chew his churro up and then take it out of his mouth and try to remake it on his plate. And he calls them churros. Brendan's more like the kind of guy who doesn't take the wrapper off a stick of butter before eating it as a snack. True that, man. I'll eat the shell of that wax paper.

Hey, Brendan, butter is not a candy bar. We're okay. I wish it was, man. What do you got for us, brother? Oh, what I got for you is I got a debate club for you. Which one would y'all rather do? Would y'all rather do? Would y'all rather party with them country boys at the ranch or Ranch Rager?

Or would you hang out? Would you rather hang out with the real OGs in an inner city strip club? Oh, we talking like Magic City, Atlanta, like T.I.'s there, drugging bitches and stuff? And then the ranch, are we talking like? Or like Chappelle's dad's there. Oh, okay. Kevin? Yeah, you talking about that big Kev, big Ferg? and stuff or and then the ranch are we talking like chapelle's dad's there oh okay oh yeah you talking about that big big cav big ferg look and let's also recognize the guy also tries to play real hard his name is also kevin it's kevin okay you know what i'm saying now now let's also let's

just put it down to the nit and gritty here what he's asking was you rather party with black guys or white guys okay that's what's going on here and that's fine um i think mine it would just be i would go like i think the strip club is just such an unsafe environment i feel like you're gay it's such a pink eye i just don't want to risk pink eye you know i know you're gay how you're scared of strip clubs oh dude i just think it's disgusting their asses are in your face and they're rubbing their big tits. It's just too much for me, man. I'd rather hang out with the boys on the ranch. Yeah, dude.

The ranch. First of all, the ranch has some nice chicks, dude. Ranch dressing. Who loves ranch dressing? Bitches, dog. That's right. Yeah, you're right, dog. All right, I'll do that.

All right, dude. Old fucking Condiment Johnson over here loves his way around a fucking half a tub of Zatziki as well. Okay, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Greek ranch. Deals the only guy in his strip club with an N95 mask on. But it's got some B-hole lipstick on the outside of it, that's for sure. I promise you. Look, dude, and the only reason I'm wearing the mask is to keep me from doing cocaine.

That's the only reason. Looking like Hannibal Lecter in the club. You cannot trust the strip club cocaine. You cannot trust the strip club cocaine. Man, yeah, they both have their advantages. I think the strip club, man, it gets lit, dude. It's so fun. It's the right one.

It's the right environment. No, it's not. You and your homies are there? Well, how about this? Plaxico Burris is there. And he shoots you in the arm? I don't know if he's got a gun on him or not, but if he does. He does.

It's risky, dude. He wants to tip the girl with a fucking gun. The only person Plaxico's shooting is himself. Yeah, but still, it's so close. It's close proximity. I think I'm going to stay on the ranch this week, man. I might go to the strip club next week, but I'm going to stay on the ranch. Oh, I do love strip clubs, but the ranch is probably funner,

especially if you like cow tipping, you and your boys, you run in the field. Oh, that sounds gay, dude. I'm talking about talking to some chick. No, you're not. Some ranch chicks. No, you're not. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

Ranch girls, hey. Hey, girl. What you doing out here on the ranch, girl? Like the girls on Hey Dude? Yeah, like the girls on Hey Dude, bro. Mallory. Okay. Are you a big strip club guy?

You know, I do like to indulge in a little boobies and whatnot. No, he doesn't. He says boobies. I feel like it'd be a sin if I didn't say a ranch with the boys. Yeah, I do like to indulge in a little boobies and whatnot. No, he doesn't. He says boobies. I feel like it'd be a sin if I didn't say a ranch with the boys. Yeah, I feel you. A little urban strip club seems nice. I'll probably go with the strip club. I just think it's risque.

I'm not going on Derek Chauvin conviction night, though. That's for sure. No. So I think if you don't, yeah, maybe a couple weeks after that, I'll go. Well, I would go, but I'm probably going to give some lap dances out just to show them my respect. BLM, baby, Black Laughs Matter, dog. Amen to that. You got to get out there.

And there's the title of the episode. Well, look, Jim, thanks for being a part of our universe, man, and we appreciate it, bro. Yeah, I appreciate y'all, man. Thanks for everything. Take care, brother. The best out. I really appreciate it. All right, of our universe, man. And we appreciate it, bro. Yeah, I appreciate y'all, man. Thanks for everything. Take care, brother. The best out. I really appreciate it. All right.

Thanks, man. Later. Huh? That's a good question. What would you do? Me hawk or whatever that kid's name is. What the fuck is that boy's name? Hey, Christian, you down?

You think about the ranch? You're trying to go to that urban nightclub and shake, shake some asses. I'm going to be completely honest. Yeah, please do please do guys we don't have a ton of time okay i'd probably have to say i'd have to say the ranch you've never been to strip club nah hold on why were you gonna be completely honest about it are you gonna what are you gonna do guys i gotta be completely honest with you man here he's. He's embarrassed. Yeah. Every time I say it, people have the reaction like, you look, oh, you've never been to a strip club?

It's like I just murdered someone. That was Theo. That's Theo judging you. I went to Eleven's in Miami during this whole pandemic, dude. And it was, it's great in there, but it's also dangerous. There's a lot of Middle Easterners, a lot of hookers, rented hookers type of thing. It's getting a little dicey in there, a lot of size. You know that little thing that you see one of the Ninja Turtles have, the third or fourth one? Oh, you're talking about the one with three blades?

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody had that in there. Was she hot, though? It wasn't a woman. It was a man in there. Oh, no, I don't want that. That's the thing I'm afraid of.

I'm not afraid of the women's. I'm afraid of the man's at the place, dude. You're paying too much attention to these men's, dog. I'm not trying to get shot because I'm not trying to die. Well, dude, enjoy the tits and ass and forget about the man's. It's hard. For one night, forget about the man's, dog. It's hard.

I'm not thinking about the man's. I don't like men's anymore. So what do you say, ham child? Jesus, how to figure it out. Dude, here's the plan with Christian. We're going to get you on a big stack of steroids. We'll do it. You told him you haven't gotten him anything.

What did you say? We're going to get you on a stack of steroids so you get really juicy, and then we're going to get you in a strip club. All right. Like I said, I'm down. Maybe clear it with your brother Gianni. No, no, no. I don't want it clear with Gianni.

What I would like is you to actually follow through and do it, Brendan. You promised the freaking kid HGH. Look at him. No, I don't want him to take HGH. Didn't Brendan say it? Not HGH. I want him on some real Arnold Schwarzenegger Gold's Gym steroids. Oh, I'll get him on a freaking.

We're talking Winnie. We're talking about the shit you used to do on the side of the road with your boy. That pancake, baby. Get me on that Winstrel. Yes. Talking DEC baby. Come here on that Winstrel. Yes. Talking DECA. Winnie. Especially since you pronounce it like you're from fucking Mother England.

Oh, that's a Winstrel, pup. A half a glass of Winstrel, mom. The hits literally keep on coming from one boxing event to the next. They grow in excitement and anticipation. And that's something about excitement and anticipation. They're really buddies and they travel together a lot. And this weekend is no different. Two of the sport's most respected fighters stepping into the ring. That's right. There's no better place to get in on all of that action than with DraftKings Sportsbook,

that action than with DraftKings Sportsbook, America's top-rated sportsbook app. For this weekend's fight, DraftKings is offering all new users a shot at turning $1 into $55. That's right. To celebrate this weekend's huge event, DraftKings Sportsbook is offering new users the opportunity to get 55 to 1 odds on either main event fighter to win this weekend's fight. Download the top-rated DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use code K-A-T-S when you sign up. For a limited time, all new users can bet $1 to win $55 on this weekend's main event. to win $55 on this weekend's main event. That's right.

DraftKings Sportsbook is going all out for new users by offering them the chance to win $55 when they're placing a bet of $1 this weekend's big fight. Must be 21 or older, New Jersey, Indianapolis, and PA only. New customers only. Restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash Sportsbook for details gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or in Indiana, 1-800-9-WITH-IT.

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Oh, damn, you look like you're about to get fired. I own it. It's fine. Oh, damn. You look like you're about to fire yourself i should what would you do for work um i own a barbecue restaurant in purvis mississippi oh yeah petunias and you you own that place i do me and my mom are co-owners and i stay here and i run it every day and it's pretty awesome. Now, how are them baby back ribs? I always judge a barbecue place off their ribs, not their brisket. They're good. They are very good.

Now, what kind of sauce is we talking here, Mama? We talked you got spicy, you got that sweet barbecue. So I'm working on it right now. We just opened a month ago, and I have a regular sauce, just homemade, sweet and tangy. And then I have kind of a spicy sauce in the works, but I'm not putting it out until it's perfect. So hopefully soon I can get that out. All right. Amen. Now, what about that? Some people go to that vinegar type of sauce route. Do you guys do anything like that? That clear sauce, water looking? No, we do more of like a Texas style, not so much like a North Carolina or anything with like more vinegary, mustardy.

I don't like the vinegar. I love that. Petunia's barbecue. And it also looks like you have some type of a dessert item or fries or something. Yeah, I have their funnel cake fries. So they're kind of, they taste more to me like a skinny beignet, but they're like a funnel cake, but in the shape of a fry with powdered sugar on them.

My mouth is wide. So you got it. I'm going to give you a name for them right now. You got them fin-yays going on. Fin-yays. Fin-yays. I love it. I love it.

We're close enough to the world. I think it would help. But here's what I'm going to say is this, dude. I'll come over there and get a cut of pig off of you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about, boo. Yeah, I'll come over there and get a cut of pig off of you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about, boo. Yeah, I'll take a slab myself. Yeah.

And who's single that works over there overall? Nobody, I don't think. That's all right. I like it. I like professional women. Hey, I like to hire women. We work hard. Amen. I'm tired of these lazy ass men out here.

Me too, man. Stealing everything, taking all your money to the strip clubs. Yeah. Exactly. Facts, honey. So is this a barbecue joint ran by all women? So me and my mom are owners of it. And then I have a lady running the kitchen.

She's actually my stepsister. Her name's Shay. She kicks ass and I will make sure she's happy and stays for forever. And then my girl Taylor, she helps me run it and helps me keep my brain straight because the three brain cells I have left don't really do too much sometimes when there's 50 people lined up. Yeah, that barbecue will do it. That barbecue will do yeah we uh our first day we sold out in 35 minutes oh damn girl yeah we had no idea people were going to be so excited for it and it's just a little it's just a little shack kind of oh yeah that little smoke shack huh y'all ain't got any of that little rib oh damn look at that yeah i ain't got any of that little ribbit? Oh, damn, look at that. Yeah, I'm trying.

Right next to that propane tank. That place will blow up. I love it. Now, y'all got any of that ribbit ribbit out there? Y'all selling any frog or any of that rabbit? No, I got brisket, pulled pork, smoked wings, and ribs on the weekends. Okay, praise God. All right, and what can we do for you today?

Now, I wish we were closer. I'd come eat. Yeah, I'd go there right after this. Hey, we're not far from New Orleans if you take a quick trip. How far of a drive is Nashville to New Orleans? I'm not going to get in this conversation. This is a boring conversation, but I'll tell both of you guys, and no offense to you. She kind of started it.

And also no offense to you. I'm curious how long that is, though. It's an eight hour. It's about an eight hour. Oh, my God. Just fly, you shit fly. Seven and a half oh yeah yeah he's gonna stop by and eat all your shit if it's free i'll tell you that right now that's not me i'll pay for your food hey pay for pay for a brisket plate and i'll give you a shirt how about that oh now you got a reason to go now

i will in theal's defense he did give felons a few hundred dollars. How about this? We'll buy a couple shirts and wear them on an episode. Can we do that? Absolutely. I'll ship them to you. Gang, there we go. Well, look, what do you got?

A king in a sting or what today for us? Are you just, is this a drunk dial? What is this? No, I sent an Instagram message about king or sting with redheads. We get a bad rap sometimes. Just a thought. Look, you can bad rap me up in that little freaking water

spout. You know what I'm saying? Take it easy, buddy. I'm sorry. I need help. I haven't even been doing well and I know you guys are all married. I'll tell his sponsor about this conversation. Jesus Christ. Don't feel. I'll tell his sponsor about this conversation. Jesus Christ. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Probably should.

Don't feel too bad. He called this fat guy, fat kid, the other day. So we're doing all right. He was cool with it, I thought. Yeah, he was cool with it. Can you understand? Redheads. I'm not doing well.

Well, we got a local redhead who's causing some issues. His name's Santino. So that's kind of the only sample size we have. Do you know any other redheads? I'll tell you this. I knew a redhead when I first was barely alive, even probably nine, and she was awesome. And I don't see a lot of redheaded men.

I don't think it's four men, honestly. That's fair. Yeah, we have a buddy in our circle who's kind of a creep, and he has it. But you don't see a lot of people afflicted with it, and they discontinued it even at the sperm bank. But I like it on a woman. I like it on a woman, and I think – I think it's unique. has it, but you don't see a lot of people afflicted with it and they discontinued it even at the sperm bank. I like it on a woman. I think it's unique.

That little touch of strawberry, I dig it. Fire on the head, fire in the heart. That's what they say. That's fair. Is there a lot of redheads where you're at? No, not really. I think there's one other one that I see in town. Oh, cut that bitch up, man.

But that's about it. Y'all should fucking have – There can only be one. Get some swords and have it out. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There can only be one. Let's go. You got to serve up a little bit of that redhead one day.

I know. I got to keep it up here. Turn one of those baby back ribs into a shank and take her ass out. Be the only one. Yeah. Hey, it's, it's a customer.

They're more than welcome. Amen. There we go. Well, we'll look when we get close to petunias in Purvis, Mississippi, we'll get over there. And,

uh, thanks for calling in. Yeah. I like redheads. I hope you guys stay alive. Me too. Thank you. I know the 2%.

We were staying strong, but fight strong, beat up somebody, you know, take out another color. Hey. Oh, well. I'm just saying, you know, a lot of these platinum blondes, they ain't shit.

Yeah, a lot of these Karens thotting out there. And it's real. Everybody asks if it's real. It is real. Because they haven't seen it. That's why. I mean, who's dyed their hair? Some people say it's fool's gold or whatever coming out of your head.

That's a lie. No, that looks real from here, girl. Oh, you vaping on the job too? All right. What flavor is that vape, Blue Ice? It's, I don't know, strawberry, lemonade, berry, something. Oh, okay. Just a little nicotine to keep the day going.

Oh, yeah. I feel you. All right. Take care of yourself, lady. All right, thanks, y'all. I'll send you a shirt. Send me the address. All right, bye. Thank you.

Bye, thanks, y'all. You came in hot, huh? I did? Yeah. You think so? A little bit. Look, I've never been to Purvis, Mississippi, but I've been to Purvis, Mississippi, man. Ooh, another redhead.

Hey. What's up, girl? Can you hear me? I've never been to Purvis, Mississippi, but I've been to Purvis, Mississippi, man. Ooh, another redhead. Hi. What's up, girl? Can you hear me? You guys in Britain? Where are you guys? I'm at San Antonio, Texas. Oh, dang. Ooh, another San Antonio in the house.

A lot of Texas today. What's going on, girl? What's cracking over there, huh? Y'all over there at the Alamo, huh? The DIY border house. Let's do it. I guess that's what we're known on, girl? What's cracking over there? Y'all over there at the Alamo, huh? DIY border house. Let's do it. I guess that's what we're known for, right?

Yeah, no, I'm just kind of chilling on my lunch break at work. Oh, nice. And what else, Brendan? What are you taking a break from? What do you do for work? I do web design. Like a spider. All that coding lingo.

Oh, yeah. It's like a spy. Check out the big brain on Brad. Yeah. What do you got for us, girl? Yeah, I got a debate club for y'all. I'm polyamorous. I've been poly for a little while now and i'm just kind of loving it uh getting to openly date whoever i want be in relationships maybe not

be in relationships you know just living how i want to live um but the debate club would be polyamory slash non-monogamy versus monogamy so polyorous, that means you're into guys, girls, whatever. It's more so just that you're not monogamous in your relationships. Oh. Thank you for clarifying that for my friend. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

I think it's, I mean. Sounds lonely. It sounds. Oh, quite the opposite, Brendan. Oh, really? Quite the opposite. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, quite the opposite brendan oh really the opposite thank you yeah yeah quite the opposite i mean you get to to be with as many people as as you want to be with that's kind of yeah the appeal there it's about love man it's about like the 1970s and about being in love you freak is it a popular trend i feel like it is especially with the younger crowd um yeah i'd say it's definitely more popular with younger people than older people now what what's the downside to being polyamorous um you had to give us one good question actually

yeah that is a good question the only thing i can think of is that a lot of people don't really fully understand it. Right. So like, sometimes they'll think like, oh, like, I'm polyamorous until I find someone that I want to be monogamous with. But that's like not. Oh, so you're saying once you go poly, you got to stay poly. Well, I mean, there's a there's a saying like my poly is not your poly so like poly is pretty much different for every single person that does it like there's not really one single definition if you want to so what brandon's polyamorous when it comes to different colored macaroons i know that yeah i like them all daddy yeah i've seen this guy yeah i bake macaroons really so what so for for you so like right now how many people are you seeing

um so i have one person that i'd consider like a partner but then i'm dating also a couple and then i'm i have another male that's like a more like friends with benefits situation and i have a female who's like friends with benefits situation. Okay. It sounds like a lot of work though. Polly sounds like work. Love is infinite, but time is finite, baby. Yeah. You got to get your little chubby pussy out there, Brendan.

So what I want to tell you is we're proud of you and you can do whatever you want. You know what I'm saying? Somebody's got to keep things hot around town. And then some of us are Pauly in the closet. Look. No. Pauly want a cracker. Come on out, dog.

Pauly want to cock her. Join the community, man. The only thing I like is women, and that's it. Hey, nobody believe in that, dog. Dude, if I see a naked man, I would call the police. What'd you say? You can be Pauly and only like women. Thank you very much, and believe in that. Dude, if I see a naked man, I would call the police. What'd you say? You can be poly and only like women. Thank you very much, and that's me. You gotta share that ass with the world.

Ooh, there you go. I mean, there's your new fucking counselor, dog. I like it. Look, I'm just happy to be alive, and I'm glad you're alive, and I'm glad that you're able to date other people. I think if you can handle it, I think at some point it just seems like I don't want to get cornered into a space where you go to get drinks from the bar or something, and you turn around, and you've got your boyfriends over there,

and then your husband's over there, and then your son, who you're dating also, is over there, and you don't know what table to take the drinks back to. You've got gotta buy 19 drinks you're going broke buying around yeah i don't want to need a van just to date you know like that that's the only thing that sounds a little yeah i don't waste money on uber plus just to get it done you know yeah i don't want to uh yeah i think uh i think that's the only thing would be the um the too much having too much going on but if you can handle it more power to you i can i'm not built for that life yeah no if you got that yeah i think

if you can get out there and you got that shop vac pussy get it out there and do work you feel me and no offense but a little offense sorry but a little also that's my nickname for brendan also shop vac pussy so i've actually never heard that term but it's a little offense for sure sorry stay with the offense i didn't check the name with him first so i should have um but look i think yeah you gotta love i think put as much love as you can out there. But don't just miss out on an opportunity to strap something good down when you got something good, you know. Yeah, strap it on. Yeah.

Good luck, though. Yeah, more power to you, girl. We support it. All right, thanks, babe. Yeah, good luck. Yeah, keep ganging it and buzzing it. Yeah, gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, girl.

Wow. Who could? I mean, it's just a lot of work man it's redhead fever out here today dude so many redheads redhead summer we got a lot of redhead fans dude i got some white boy summer merch oh really yeah from chad hanks yeah sick i think it's at home i didn't look but i think it is did you purchase it or did you like reach out purchased it that's awesome black queen summer yeah those were sold out i think or i didn't get any i'm not sure which one it was could you guys do the polyamorous thing chin hell no nick no i'd be too jealous yeah same here i'd be too jealous. Yeah, same here. I'd be too jealous. Chuck State could do it. Sorry, whatever. Meat Hall. You couldn't do it either?

I'd do it, but I wouldn't let my girl do it. Oh, well. So what you're talking about is a sex slave. You're talking about cheating on your girl. Yeah. Well, I could cheat on her as long as she doesn't. Yeah, that's the hard part, man. I think it'd be stressful.

And that has to be lonely at some point. I mean long are you gonna do this shit for well how long you do this for at least until i'm 41 but what i'm saying is i've been polyamorous for a long time i think if it's just dating people that's what yeah it sounds like she just dates people yeah she has a bunch and she's open to guys and girls did she say oh yeah Oh, yeah, she said guys and girls. So I'm just open to girls and other girls. But here's a guy right here. Here's a freaking rat king. What's up, playboy?

Want to tickle that nickel? Tyler from Washington State here. Got a quick king in her sting it. Got that rat king. Sting those cries. The vermin with the sermon. King or sting it. Yard games like cornhole.

You're going to king it. You're going to sting it. It's about 70 degrees in Washington right now, which I know for California ain't shit. But for us, this is warm. It's king or sting it. Yard games like cornhole. Arthur's going to throw up behind. Arthur's going to throw up behind.

No look, Steph Curry style, dog. Now in Washington, I think they got rid of cornhole. I don't think you can even play cornhole anymore. Would that man ask, oh, cornhole for men? Yard games in general. First of all, yard games, and I'll be honest with you, is a gateway to homosexuality dog it can be yeah hey let's play right here get a few bears deep you start winning

you're a boy start hugging yeah oh i can't believe you made that shot and your shirts are off dude who skins yeah we're all skinned everybody and there's your episode title name we're all bro that is your You start doing front side piggybacks That's when it gets scary When somebody's like piggyback But on the front Yeah

Or when you're doing wheel Or when you're doing wheelbarrow I'm in the room But they haven't passed me What's up dog Wheelbarrow is when the That's at Rickshaw What's up

That guy was with his dad Show us your dad again Yeah get your dad back oh you want to see my dad again he's doing pull-ups in the doorway what's up hey welcome home dad his dad looks like he's used the hard yeah man bro i mean i can't believe marty backed on i was on the patreon when just the other day what's going on oh yeah welcome back yeah it was the the floss yeah i remember you looked like i thought you looked like that killer guy the um the guy that killed those people in his apartment.

Remember that movie? The American Psycho? American Psycho. Oh, cool. Yeah, he's a good-looking dude. That's cool. I'll take that. He's all, hell yeah.

I thought, yeah. That's Christian Bale. What's going on today, man? Yeah, I'll take that. Do what? Yeah, like Christian Bale, from Christian Bale to Hay Bale. Yeah. Hey, how do you feel about wheel bearing with the boys?

Wheel bearing with the boys? Is that like a double meaning or something or what? Nah, you just take your boy by the ankles and then you fucking raise him up and he walks on his hands. Yeah. Remember that game that they used to have? Yeah, we used to do that workout in middle school football. We used to do that.

Yeah, it was great, right? That was a fun time. Did you guys ever do field day at school? Did you ever have something called field day? Oh, blue ribbons all day long. All day. Remember that? Nothing better. And one of the games was just throw something

as far as you can. I remember that game. We had this black girl in our school. She was like 35 years old. She was in our class. She threw a stapler like 120 yards. She won. I went to a predominantly black school, so when we do the

sprint, it was tough, man. It was tough. That is tough. I did not. It was easy, I bet. Yeah, I got some blue ribbons i got i got a closet full of blue ribbons my nephew actually just did a field day he got a bunch of blue ribbons he's white too so amen bro that's what i'm talking about matthew bowling let's go and they still do field that's texas man matthew bowling's in texas i think doesn't go to ut or no where do you

go who the fuck's matth? I'm honestly not sure. Matthew Bowling? I have no idea. Matthew Bowling is the white kid that's beating everybody. Oh, the wrestler? Oh, yeah. The runner. Yeah, I know who you're talking about.

Georgia. Bulldog. Oh, he went to Georgia Bulldog. Oh, yeah. He's on the Olympic team, right? Yeah. He's doing the Lord's work. Yeah, he's doing the Lord's work.

He's crazy fast. Yeah, fuck yeah, he's fast. He's doing the Lord's work. Yeah, he's doing the Lord's work. He's crazy fast. I didn't believe it the first time I saw the video. Yeah, Matthew Bowling, man. Legend, bro. Legend. What's going on today, brother? What you got? King of the sting in it?

Yeah, yeah. I got a debate club. I was working, and I saw that on Patreon. It popped up for us to ask a question or whatever, so I did it, and they just sent me a link. So, yeah. So, i got a debate club i was just thinking of and brendan you have the kids you probably i don't know probably have an opinion on this more than us but what about that hee haw seesaw versus that swing set

that swinging baby which one yeah i love a nice swing set the problem with that seesaw it's all about injuries these days so as a parent you always gotta you always kind of gotta you know you're stressed out depending on the injury those seesaws you don't listen there ain't many seesaws in la man i think they got rid of them yeah there's a lot of really seesaw yeah there's virtual ones here where you're you and your kid the kids stand like 10 feet apart and imagine that they're on a seesaw. It's a bummer. Now, swings are still pretty lit, though. There's swings everywhere.

Yeah. And there's like a closet on a lot of the playgrounds. There's a closet on it, and the kid can practice coming out of the closet out here in Los Angeles. Yeah, they actually encourage it. I feel the seesaw is like a bully. People can use it to bully Have you ever seen that in cartoons? Yes

They get seesaw up and down on somebody Yes On their head They would do that a lot Yeah, a lot of times They would, yes One kid was a little too aggressive Somebody really pounced it up

Get you up there and threaten you Fuck yeah Make you throw your lunch money down They used to do that sometimes To get out of there Remember the one Not the merry-go-round But it was like that

It was like the thing And someone would run And spin it around remember it's metal oh yeah fuck yeah that shit's all dangerous people always die out there but you gotta thin the herd some people can't handle the heat now i was on a swing set the other day i took a date to a uh like a park and then we got on the swings man wow what are you 14 dude do you start sweating when you held her hand was it midnight was it park hours right yeah it was park i was just daytime hours dude you guys share a caprice that's a cute idea i like it we hadn't thank you nick it was a nice idea nick slept in a park last night That's why he's okay with this. Nick.

So how big are those swings? Do I have to maybe put them together, lay down them like a hammock? I'm sick of this anti-homeless architecture they're putting everywhere. It's hard to get a good night's rest. Yeah. So, yeah, we had a nice time, man. The scary part was when you get so fast on that swing, you get that feeling in your stomach when you go back.

Like a roller coaster. And then if you start going too high, it starts going cha-ching, cha-ching. It gets scary. Oh, yeah, you're trying to go all the way around. Yeah. When you're a kid, you're trying to go all the way. It never happened. It never happened for me.

I was the kid that would wait until it goes real high and I'd jump off. Oh, yeah. Like Mission Impossible. I was that kid. That kid was always insane. The high ankle sprain. Yeah. I used to do that too. I was that kid. That kid was always insane. The high ankle sprain. Yeah. You had a few ankles, my man.

No, I used to do that too. Yeah, I was too heavy to be doing that. But you would get so high, you'd go straight up at the sky. Yes. Thought you was going to be in like space or something. That was fun. You break your arm, you go from a swing to a swing. Oh, yeah.

Real quick. Very popular, man. Yeah, I vote swing set, man. I'm swing set. Now, on your date, did you get behind your girl and push her? No, I did not thought about it. Damn, that's too high. Slow down.

I thought about it. And then if you really want to get into it, you push her and you run underneath so she really flies. Oh, that's crazy, Brendan. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. You got to be careful. You make sure you clear it because they'll come back on you. Yeah.

If you don't run out far enough. Well, yeah, I didn't get into all that. You guys are be careful. Make sure you clear it because they'll come back on you. Yeah. If you don't run out far enough. Well, yeah, I didn't get into all that. You guys are pretty romantic, I see. Okay. Well, look, let's get out of this conversation before Brendan tells another story about Crow Cop, okay? Okay. All right. Thanks, Zach.

Be good, Zach. Take care, brother. Later, brother. Wow, seemed like a nice guy, and he said he works where he does lawn care. I don't know what he was doing his dad made a little cameo yeah his dad definitely uh seemed like a nice man uh kitchen man dad's usually in the kitchen dad's chilling dad's in the kitchen man what else you got nick uh we got another guy coming in uh just had to restart zoom he got and these are all felons? No. These are just people.

Oh, my God. I thought these were felons again. Yeah. Well, I don't know if they were. You've been giving out money. That's true. Hey, felon. Here's some money.

Yeah, the good upstanding citizen, he buys a couple T-shirts. Yeah, right? That's true. God, that's horrible. I felt so bad about all that felon money I gave out. Oh, you're a felon? We're going to give you $600. But see how easy it is for an administration to give away.

It's just like you just have to do it just like that. I know, you just got to do it. What if we just said, hey, we're going to think about it for seven months and then send you $1,200? Yeah, and it might show up in your bank account. We'll see. We'll see. It's so crazy. And I want to let you know that I have some tour dates as well. They go on sale tomorrow morning, Friday, May 7th at 10 a.m. Central Standard Time. And those are at theovon.com slash tour. Thank you in advance for your support. Those are in St. Louis, Cincinnati, Charlotte, Durham, North Carolina,

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For cars, there's Edmunds. Oh, yeah. You're married, Brendan. I'm not married. All right, Brendan. I'm not married. All right, guys. I'm a little tired, so forgive them. But, I've got a king interesting for you. Peg leg crutches.

Theo posted something about those scooters that are supposed to be a substitute for crutches. But crutches suck. The scooters suck. Peg leg crutches are crutches suck the scooters suck peg leg crutches are where it's at so take a look at my photo and tell me can't get her sting it gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz young lady what's a peg leg you're gonna see she got that slim limb baby oh no flex it's like that uh what's his name the the protrusion guy? The guy who murdered his fine-ass girlfriend? Oh, yeah, Pertruria.

Yeah. That guy shot his lady in the tub, huh? Yeah, he did. Thought it was a fucking thief. Dude, who thinks a thief is coming in your house and then taking a bath? Oh, God, figure it out, dude. And then she was like, no, it's me, and he still shot at the door. But he said that she went, no, it's me.

Yeah, he was like, well, she has a deep voice. She was hot, too. She was hot, man. Yeah, the old, yeah. Zoom in on that limb, baby. Yeah, I wish we knew what she did. Let me see that limb, daddy. I feel like it'd be a nightmare, dude.

Zoom in on it. Walk around like a fucking. Do that Z, do that. Walking around like a pirate ship. Look at that limb, baby. Damn, that thing's nice. You looking you like in that knee? Dude, I put that thing in my mouth, boy.

You suck that kneecap? Huh? No, no. I put the whole fucking leg in my mouth. Ooh. Turns out there's a limit of the amount of women we can have on here. Theo's out of control today. Am I?

You a pervert, dog. Oh, my bad. I need a massage. I mean, we knew this, but you need a massage? I need a massage. Oh, you can go to that little Thai kid again, jump on your back? Yeah. Bike is his name.

Is that a better move than the scooter that you posted? The scooter thing is unbelievably aggravating, dude. That little thing, it looks like a little, like they just push it around on wheels. Like the people at Disney World? Yeah, you get your knee on a thing, and then just push it around on wheels like the people at disney world yeah you get your knee on a thing and then you push it on the wheels it's i feel like that thing looks stupid too though that thing's that pogo stick yeah how about you yeah that's a fucking pogo stick how about you just do the old school crutches man that thing is uh what is that it's that pirate huh that's that pirate, huh? That's that wench, man.

Yeah, I think... What do you think, Meat... Meter? Yeah, Meat Boy. What is his name? Meat Hawk? What do you think, man? What would you do? Meter's a good name.

Oh, is it a king of singing? I'd king it. Okay. And would you date a woman like this? Would you date a woman that's handicapped like this? Do I know her before it happens, or am I with her when it happens? No, you meet her and she has one leg, dog. No, you're with her and you couldn't protect her.

Oh, yeah, because it didn't happen to me, so why not? Yeah. Oh, wow. You made it about you. And even if it happened before, then it depends, honestly. If it's a bird, I don't know. It honestly depends on the person. Dude, if she's a bird, like, I don't know. Like, it honestly depends on the person. Dude, if she's hot enough, I can give her a fuck.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, you guys do. Yeah, you guys. I know both of you guys, actually. I just realized that. What about you? Huh? Would you?

Yeah, I'd put this lady in a damn castle. Okay? Not like you assholes. Maybe I'd take her to lunch. You're talking about taking her to a park with one leg. I don't think she'd do well at the park. Yeah, you know how relaxing it would be for her to be on the swings and to be off of her leg?

Probably not going to have that seesaw. But she got that Tom Dempsey, dude. Look up Tom Dempsey real quick. She got that Tom Dempsey, dog. She's swinging that damn 63 yarder right there, baby. You feel me? Pull up your boy. I'd like to know what injuries she has, though. Pull up your boy,yarder right there, baby. You feel me? Pull up your boy. I'd like to know what injuries she has, though.

Pull up your boy, Tom Dempsey, son. She got that TD right there. Boom. Right there. You know that kicker? Let's go. That is a thick fucking kicker, bro. She got that Tom Dempsey.

She's running on, dude. She's shooting three from deep. He even was missing part of his hand. Look at his hand in that picture. He only got part of a hand and part of a foot damn he passed away last year he kicked a 63 yarder he kicked a 63 yard he had the nfl record for about 40 years to my boy jason elam said hold my fucking hand and kick the shit out yeah it's easy to say that when you have two hands okay tom had one freaking hand yeah and he had a five iron for a foot bro yeah i feel like yeah that's an advantage and he'll put that thing through your mother's freaking bus stop damn look

at that club that's what i'm talking about so look i say king it man death what is it deaf people yeah yeah i said i say legs yeah i say king it if that's your thing and that's what's comfortable fucking do it but also decorate that bitch you know know what I'm saying? Like, if it's Cinco de Mayo, put a little, throw some streamers on it. Yeah, get a little graffiti on that bitch. Yeah, do some. Get a little art on there, man. Yeah. Also, if you think about it, if you do date a girl with a peg leg, think about all the

fire parking you're going to have with that. Ooh. Do you front row at Costco? Front row, right out front. I mean, come on. Do you feel like Drake? Yeah. Yeah, you will.

Front of the line at the airport. Yeah. right out front i mean come on do you feel like drake yeah yeah you run the line at the airport yeah and then you carry a girl in like a freaking legend like uh tony like not tony robbins i'm about to have chappelle cut his fucking leg off yeah so we get front row everywhere do it or malik yeah one of them would do it bro you don't even need both of them yeah you're right um or not both of them completely legged. No. At least get a sling for one of them. Someone needs a ditch of leg. Yeah. Ooh, get an eye patch for Malik. Oh, that's a good idea. I could see that. He'll probably like bedazzle

and shit, whatever. It's a new fad, yeah. What we got? What's up, brother? Can you see us? Hey, guys. What's up, dog? What's up, playboy? How are you guys? Big fans of the show. Very big fans. Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, thanks for? What's up, playboy? How are you guys? Chilling, man. Big fans of the show. Very big fans. Oh, thanks, man.

Yeah, thanks for checking in with us, dude. Where are you at today? I'm currently living in Dubai. Ooh. Oh, dang. In the Middle East, yeah. And my dad is Indian and my mom's from the Philippines, so I'm like a mixed race kid over here.

Oh, that's cool, man. And how's that frowned upon over there? i know it's completely normal a lot of mixed race couples over here in the middle east a lot of expat community so like everyone's like mingling with each other trying to see which has like the hottest babies you know regular stuff is it tough to tell with women out there because they're all covered up they're like this oh man it'll surprise you everyone here is like wearing tank tops booty shorts everything oh but just their faces like no no no they're like those are like the local emirati women but uh everyone else is like 90 of the uae population is all expats so you have like british asian you name it they're here but i but i thought if you're

a girl and you hung out with your tits they cut your head off but brendan he's telling you that's not that what happens you keep asking him and he keeps telling you no i understand brendan's point of view as well that that was there in the past but now it's like it's very liberal now yeah you can do it in the 90s dog i heard dubai is lit as fuck i heard it's vegas on steroids now do you guys have this young man do you guys have um the covid there? Do you guys have the COVID there? No, people aren't worried about it. Oh, yeah. We have a lot of cases, but it's actually subsided because the government has done a lot to bring in the vaccine.

I just got my second dose yesterday as well. How are you feeling, man? Two-dose Danny out here. I was out completely yesterday, but today is so much better. I managed to hit the gym, did all my regular stuff. But we're still working from home. Now, do you feel like – it seems like only rich people can be in Dubai. Is it like a real rich kind of place?

Is there a middle class? That's a good question. I'm in the middle class, actually. But there are a lot of rich folks over here. Like seeing a Lamborghini or Ferrari every day is just like whatever i know people stop to take pictures and stuff but for the majority of us it's like whatever that's just another car in the city yeah but i think if you're middle class over there that means you're high class in the states because i bet the middle class over there yeah i think you could say that i think you could say that but there's still like a lot of um like let's say, Asian expats who come here and just work in construction and all that.

So they obviously don't get a lot of big salaries or anything like that. But you have everything here from the low minimum wage class to the upper elite class over here. That's cool, man. Have you seen The Serpent on Netflix? Oh, my God. No, I can't say that. No one has. It's a, man. Have you seen The Serpent on Netflix? Oh, my God. No, I can't say that I have. No, no one has. It's a good show if you like.

No, the guy is Indian and... Oh, and he has to see it just because there's an Indian in it? The guy's Indian and Asian. But he's a crime. He does crime. He commits murder? Crime guy, yeah. Crime guy.

What do you got? I'm a clean guy, guys. Okay. Yeah. What do you got for us, brother? Yeah, man. What do you have for us, dude? Crime guy, yeah. Crime guy. What do you got? I'm a clean guy, guys. Okay. Yeah. What do you got for us, brother? Yeah, man. What do you have for us, dude? Tell us something good.

So, like, since you're on the subject of, like, you know, high, middle class, my job is actually, my question is actually about jobs. So, I've been in my job for around eight years now. It's a desk job. And I completely hate it. And, like, there's a part of me which actually wants to quit my job right now quit and like pursue my passion quit and stuff fucking quit dude what is the passion symbolism yeah good question so so i have a i have a podcast with my girlfriend and um i am i also actually do stand-up comedy here in dubai oh wow so it's like

it's like a it's like a mixture of both but i that's the thing it's easy for it's easier said and done obviously but then like it's not passion it's not though because you're what you i'm you're just at this job for uh security right because of the money and shit like that but when you're 50 you're gonna hate your fucking life dude and what so you own a home and i. I already hate my life. Yeah, there you go. You're miserable. You fucking hate your life. You're calling to us for advice. So you hate your fucking life, dude.

Quit right now, man. Quit and see what happens. Because you do computer programming or some shit. What do you do? So I work in logistics. So it's like I do basically sales, customer service. Yeah, there you go. That's never going to. It's a dead end job, though. You play Battles I do basically sales, customer service. Yeah, there you go. That's never going to get better.

It's like the game Battleship. You've probably ever played Battleship. Hell yeah. B24. Hey, here's the thing, dude. That job's never going to go anywhere, too. You can always find a job doing logistics. But for you to take advantage of doing stand-up in Dubai or a podcast and blowing that thing up, doing what you want, man, logistics ain't going anywhere.

That's going to be around for fucking ever, dude. Quit right now. Well, does your girl have a job? Yeah, she has a job. She's working as well. Fucking quit. And is she like, would she be upset if just she were working, you think? Or what do you think she would think?

I'm not too sure about that, actually. But I'm planning to propose to her very soon So I think that might also That's also in my mind All that kind of stuff So I don't know if it's premature if I actually do it Or should I maybe wait a couple of months Nah I'd quit right now

You can't quit and then propose Yeah you can That's crazy That's insane I just think you gotta be a risk taker what is the podcast about uh so my girlfriend is half lebanese half filipino so our podcast is called half a nice day so we just talk about anything and everything like life as we know it our experiences growing up like as a as a mixed race kid what about flips is that a

racial slur if somebody says flips for filip? Is that a racial slur? If somebody says flips for Filipinos, is that a racial slur or not? No, no, it's not. Okay, good. I don't,

I don't see it as it, as it is. Do you guys, do you guys have like protesting shit out there? Like BLM protests and stuff? Or is it kind of chill out there? Oh, no,

zero, zero. You can't say anything negative about the government. Yeah. It's a bunch of straight up sand Christians, dude. But their government ain't going to put up with with it though you try that shit out there you're gonna miss and son yeah i think is the government pretty this pretty legit out there is it pretty

stout uh they're quite strict they're quite strict any any naysayers about the government you can like i can go missing literally damn now that's a podcast i could go missing and you just each week you test how much you can say each week you test how much you can say until you go missing yeah but i like half a nice day look i think you got your girl dialed into the work so at least if you do quit she's like she's a part of it so she'll feel like maybe you guys are doing this thing together um how old are you um i just turned 30 oh yeah i'm a brother as well oh hell yeah dog welcome uh yeah dude i mean you're 30 man so what are you gonna wait till you're 40 you start doing stand-up when you're 40 he could be 30 40 31 32 he could be any number 30 is good time to get going dog yeah i just don't want to be on your deathbed being like

oh i stayed here i like closed because of the pandemic so there's no massive gathering so i haven't done comedy in like around three four months now that should open up going for me is the podcast yeah that should open up yeah i would wait until things are a little bit stronger before you cut bait with the job man you got to be working you got to bring it in some type of income nick what do you think yeah uh and i i think go a little bit more niche with your podcast uh since people don't know who you are it's hard to just like tune in and hear about just general life like so talk about something grow from there and then expand yeah does he have any so currently we have around 200 subscribers but it's like growing every day at least we see like one or two subscribers every day for now. Nice, man. What language is it in?

It's in English. It's 100% English. English, Nick. Well, man, I wish we had some advice for you. Man, I would quit and pursue the dream. That's what I would do. I'm a risk taker, though. I also have CTE, though.

I also have CTE. If he has rent money, quit. But if not? No, you'll figure it out. You're a smart kid man but you're gonna be fucking miserable working this shitty desk job to your 40 i like wish you're doing stand-up i like going to the office well he fucking hates it they have people's birthdays everything everybody's come in the kitchen no you're working for the man he's making all the profit they give you the shit salary then they then exactly exactly you know fucking you know hawaiian

shirt friday to keep morale up that's true that's true yeah we have it yeah brendan's i'll wear hawaiian shirt where the fuck i want look at the way i'm dressed dude good luck though my man you're already on the right path. I got a feeling. Thank you so much. Yeah, you're going to figure it out. Yeah, Brendan looks like a bat boy on Gianni Versace's softball team. Look, man, I think you're doing it.

Look, it sounds like you got a good head on your shoulders. I will wait to quit your job until after you get married. That's the new white boy summer, you know? That's when it's a white boy summer forever, dude. Get that rock on your girl and get that blood diamond dog you close to the freaking you know to those artery miners over there get that freaking big bdz on your lady i would wait till things open up so you can start doing a bunch of open mics and shit at least wait till it opens up but as soon as that bitch opens up i'd

quit and get that illegal rock dog you so close to africa over there you could get that freaking i mean that thing should test positive that thing should test be positive dog that diamond you get her yep there he is all right praise god be good out there advice from you guys yeah good luck man hopefully that helped yeah i bet it didn't but we love you brother praise god gang gang baby if it doesn't work out don't blame me have a good life man be good oh this guy this guy just killed somebody this guy's stealing packages what's going on y'all chilling man you do you you do deliveries for amazon uh that's right sir i'm not here you know i'm the blue santa claus out here every day

hell yeah man i love the packages your that? Yeah. My mom does that in Baton Rouge. If you see the Rat Queen out there, you know who it is. What's going on, Sarag? I'm out here. Where you at, Tucson? Right now, I'm out here in Phoenix AZ. My station's out in

Phoenix. Right now, I'm in Peoria, just slinging these packages. Oh, yeah. Out by Glendale, baby. I know where you're at. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I almost got... My car broke down out there one time and I almost got hit by a semi-trailer when I was urinating in the dark. You know what's real

scary at night is if your car doesn't work, to be out by the side of the interstate, bro. It's harrowing. That's where a lot of people die. Yep, because they can't see you oh but anyway man uh we're glad you're alive today dude what you got man you got a king at her singing what's cracking yeah i got a relationship advice so um i got a girlfriend right and uh she doesn't really deal with touch all that well so like if i hug her that she she'll deal with it but she's not really all about that so how would y'all deal with that oh a

lot of our friends have dealt with that yeah um deal with that horned toe doug that's what's happening oh tell them tell us yeah horned toes don't let you get touched go in on a beat drop it on yeah you just got to keep giving her that love until she finally just breaks those walls down and realize you're you you're a touchy man you know just keep fucking touching her touching her every day man now here's an idea too because that sounds like you're gonna get an assault charge yeah it does as i was coming out my mouth i thought it's 2021 brother yeah you can't touch a woman these days no here's what you do you get a shirt you do paint remember them paint hand prints that turkey hand that a kid would make at school?

Make that turkey hand, right? Make a shirt like that with a bunch of turkey hands on it. Give it to your lady. Say, look, I'm trying to make some moves, but I figure we start right here, you know? I mean, I'll give it a go. See if she deals with that second grade art project. See if she'll like that. Yeah, sounds like a terrible idea. how long have you been how long have you been dating her uh it's been uh about like i want

to say uh about a year and a half about oh yeah bro hit her with that arts and shafts baby i'm telling you dude that thing will lead to some sex though yeah more shaft than art let's start with the art dude yeah man yeah not with brendan's freaking reach around on yourself tactics over here dude i'm sorry i went to the brian callan school for women your fucking best friend bro is he under that bus over there bro here's what i'm saying is brendan will also the kind of guy who will draw freaking tits on himself if i can and touch himself so yeah well man you got to take care of it i think you got to do something nice maybe get one of those get a fake a prosthetic arm and set it on your girl's back or or you could get one of those hot ass uh dummies they have you know those like builder girls and then just show her how much

you like to touch yeah like you won't do it, so I'm going to do it on this. I'm going to be my girlfriend for long if I keep doing that. Yeah, hey, listen, man. You got to crack a few eggs and make an omelet, especially if you want to touch that omelet. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, bro. Maybe it might be a childhood trauma where she doesn't like to be touched.

Have you ever talked to her about that? It's 100% that. Yeah, yeah. See, now we're on to something. Maybe get her a turtleneck or something, because that kind of, it's like a little bit of pressure, but it's not heavy pressure. Yeah, it's like% that. See, now we're on to something. Maybe get her a turtleneck or something. It's like a little bit of pressure, but it's not heavy pressure. It's like a shield. Maybe get a

betterhelp.com promo code CAT. Yeah, you could also. I'll get some cat merch. I'll tell you this, man. A friend of mine told me this recently. This man, he said he had sexual erectile dysfunction. he was with this girl for like a year and a half and finally it went away he said that's it yeah it went away

damn i appreciate that story yeah hopefully that helps so what i'm saying is that it could change if you just give it time man but how much time much time is he going to give her? She doesn't want to be touched, man. My boy here is touchy-feely. Dog, it sounds like also, I want to throw this out there, you could have kidnapped this woman, bro. Yeah. Yeah, what if you're a freaking sex offender, dog? Yeah, that's a good question, too.

I did see her across the Denny's parking lot and kind of just picked her up and took her. She's always trying to escape and shit from the basement, man. It's getting really annoying. Yeah, dude. Yeah. So, look, if anything, tell her if she needs to escape, just promo code cats. Escape.com, promo code cats.

Yeah. She keeps forgetting my name ain't, like, let me out. Yeah, that's tough, man. Well, look, man, good luck with her, dude. I think finding some cute way to show her that you want to apply a little bit of pressure you know maybe put a rock on her back or something like that just something light you know maybe just keep giving her massages every day man start with a nice massage on the feet yeah start with that neck work then work it up

dog praise god man stay safe out there bro yeah. Yeah, good luck. I will, man. Man, I love y'all. Y'all really do bite my day. Yeah, keep touching me, dog. Oh, thanks, Sergio. Keep touching me, baby. Be good. Your girl says don't touch me.

I say keep touching me. Yeah, get her a don't touch me shirt. I will. That's not actually a bad idea at all. That's a good idea. I can't believe it took us that long to get to a good idea. That was a tough one to figure out. I don't know if he kidnapped the girl or what.

Very alarming, and I still don't even know. He might even work for Amazon. We have no idea what Sergio's up to. We never know. Here's Gianni right here. What's up, Gianni? Alex. What's up? Alex, how you going, man? You in Britain? No.

Nope. Orlando. Orlando, Florida. Close, though. Oh. Close with those books your mom gave you. What do you got for us, dog? I've got a debate club real quick for you all. Yeah, let us see it, baby. Hit us with that hammer, dude.

Any question's going to be tough for Brendan. Throw it out. Watching a pay-per-view fight with friends or by yourself? Ooh, this is good, huh? This is good, hashtag UFC 261 that Brendan used about a couple of weeks ago. I saw you on there at night, huh? No, I don't tweet. Oh, fucking loose thumbs.

Pull up. Can we get to the tweet that he did? Was it the Holland fight where I said Holland's the most exciting fighter? I usually don't tweet during the fights. Oh. Really? Never. Never.

Oh, really? Say something, Chin. Just say something. Something. There you go. Chin, do you tweet during the fights? I have a Twitter. I don't think I've ever posted anything.

Some of you guys do. Oh, shit. chin hit his head leave a mark to all good it's all good little sick with Alex man I'm sorry I'm taking this thing off course dude you know it was a while back I shouldn't have brought it up it was just a tweet it was just no audio or pictures or nothing I mean I'd say Kevin Holland's one of the most entertaining fighters

but it wasn't like hashtag nothing I'm not trying to make that UFC yeah let's see that hashtag boys boys boys 261 no That hashtag, boys, boys, boys. 261? No. Yeah, I just searched Brendan Chobb and hashtag UFC 261,

and I didn't. Nothing came up. There it is right there. Oh. Right there. Oh. That is Kevin Holland 1. That is Kevin Holland 1. Well, well, well.

Hashtag Vegas 22. That was after the fight, though. Was it, Brendan? Was it? 9.25 p.m. Seems right about fight time. That seems right about the most entertaining. And in the blue corner.

Oh, my God. And in the blue corner, Brendan Hashbrown. Oh, Hashbrown with that hashtag, baby. He's the most entertaining fighter. He loses one more. He ain't going to be too entertaining, man. Oh, we'll see, man. You guys should both try to get on this weekend.

UFC 261. We'll have to hashtag it, man. They won't let me on. Yeah, they will. No. No. Really? You just made too many... I talk too much shit. Yeah. Well... You and Steve-O. No. Who's more thirsty? Steve-O does

too many, dude. You're right there. Steve-O does way too many. You're right there, dude. No, it's Steve-O, and then who else does too many, Nick? I like this guy, Jedi Goodman. He usually has information that goes on there. Look at his. Wow.

Dude, but he's a journalist. Yeah, but he gets on there all the time. But he's a journalist. He has a media pass. Yeah. They don't count. He should get on there. Yeah.

It's Masvidal Usman, huh? Here come the hot stepper. So he's talking about, I prefer pay-per-views by myself, man. Yeah, let's get into that. My issue is I get too many stupid questions all the time from friends and family. Oh, really? The worst. It's like listening to the fucking podcast I did on Monday when I broke the fight down.

I'm not doing a podcast in the middle of the goddamn fight. It's exhausting. Look, I want to see Jake Paul versus Mike Perry is what I want to see. That's what I said. You obviously listen to the podcast. And I appreciate it. Thank you. I do listen. I listened to that episode and I thought it was good, man. Thanks, man. And I think that that's

the guy to go fight. Me too. I think at least if you're going to fight, you just got to fight somebody who's willing to fucking take some licks. He's young though, man. He has three fights. Yeah. That's the way fighting goes. You shouldn't be fighting killers your first three fights.

Agreed. So Mike Perry, I feel like it would be much more. Mike Perry will throw some hands though. Mike Perry can take a shot too. Right. That's what I'm saying. I don't think you're going to knock Mike Perry out. He could, but it'd be tough.

But he should go Dylan Dennis, then Mike Perry. I think you'd find them both at the same time. He could. You know what I'm saying? Let freedom ring, dog. Yeah, I mean, Triller's probably up for it. Oh, Triller's definitely. I'm surprised somebody didn't get shot during that telecast.

Oh, they wouldn't. That thing looked ratchet as fuck. Yeah, dude. I'm like, is't get shot during that telecast. Oh, they will. That thing looked ratchet as fuck. Yeah, dude. I'm like, is this on a jungle gym? Get some fucking lighting in there. Yeah, it was a nightmare.

Unbelievable. Yeah, it reminded me of the time that I got stuck at this nightclub in Jacksonville. That makes sense. What's going on, Alex Moody?

How you going? I'm good, man. How are you guys? We're doing well. Sorry for that. Sorry you had to listen to us. You have UFC parties, man? How you doing guys? We're doing well. Sorry for that. Sorry to listen to us. You have UFC parties, man? How are you doing it?

Yeah, how do you do it? I like doing it, but I'm getting too annoyed at hearing other people's opinions about shit. And I'm not a big drinker, so whenever I watch it, I'll have a little bit of whiskey and enjoy it by myself. Same, same. My girl will be with me. Okay, you like that dime with you. You like that dime with you you like that dime with you yeah now does your girl know about the fights or do you squeeze her kind of hard when she asks

some questions i gotta yeah i gotta let her know about it because she's not really too into it so i gotta because i do jujitsu and uh muay thai or whatever so i'll wrap her up in a little seat bow or whatever once in a while hell yeah dog, dog. She don't like it too much. Put her in that hard scarf, dog. If she knows what's good for her, put her in that HS, dog. Sometimes you have to. I'll choke that fucking bitch. That's what I'm saying, huh? Make a sound for us.

Make a Japanese sound, Chen. You can do a Japanese sound. We can do a Japanese sound. But I'm saying you got to freaking wrap wrapping that hard scarf dude america's favorite neckwear baby you feel me let's go i'm with you though man watch it by yourself in the dark yeah man i'm gonna send you also we got a new hard scarf t-shirt man i'm gonna send you one of them bro so you can freaking rep that it's not even out yet appreciate it so you could next time you at least you had advertising if you guys have to go to court with you and your lady at least

you could show up with that shirt yeah she knows what's up yeah she knows what she knows what she's getting into are you still a white belt would you what well well yeah i'm a green belt now but i started striking i started boxing or whatever but green belt it's like it's white belt same shit oh gotcha white belt yeah i'll do the naga thing i was going to make my amateur kickboxing debut last year and then about seven weeks before the fight broke my arm and sparring so yeah about to go make my debut in about two months or whatever i'm gonna do a little grappling tournament before and then oh good luck man yeah good luck out there dude so what's uh what's the king of their stinging

what do you got watching you if they're friends or not d Oh, I like to watch it. You know what? I like to watch it by myself, I think, or just with like one or two people. Actually, we had fun whenever we went and watched it at Gianni's place that time. That was fun. If you have the right crew, it's fun. There's good food. People know we're there to watch the fights, not do a fucking podcast and talk the whole time. Yeah, Gianni invited me one time to somebody's backyard somewhere and it was like really questionable, dude. That was kind of scary.

But another time we watched it in a fun spot. I watched the Chandler fight and the Dustin fight at a bar. That was pretty fun. If it's the right vibe, it's a good time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you, man. By myself, drinking a little whiskey with my girl. I like watching them at home, you know.

Nick and I watched that John Jones fight one time after that cattle racing or whatever we went to. Remember downtown? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We saw PBR at the Stable Center, and then we went across the street and saw John Jones. Was Volkov?

No. Reyes. Reyes. Sounds like a gay night. Pretty gay. I've been watching pretty gay. I've been watching in the green room by myself. Really?

Yeah. Cause I get off late. So I just see like the last three fights, but yeah, man. Uh, I don't know. I think it just depends, but I, I understand wanting to watch it by yourself. Sometimes people get so personal with the, with the, or attached so much to the sport. They really just want to be able to see it all and not be interrupted. You know?

Uh, I mean, it's martial arts, you know, they say arts in it because it has you know this artistic side but it's also like if you want to see a dope ass movie like say you rented a movie at home i don't need everybody's fucking opinions on the guy's acting i'm just trying to watch the goddamn movie dude same with fighting unless you've been in there even if you've been in there shut the fuck up man yeah i don't want to see some drunk come over and ask me a bunch of questions either that's the worst thing like talking about other stuff like are somebody bugging you yeah you know somebody punches their girlfriend because they can't handle the excitement all that kind of stuff you know i don't that's too much confusion at a bar too much good food a good fight at home nothing better man yeah and i like to watch indoors too

yep indoors only good question brother have fun this weekend man hopefully you're not around a bunch of slap dicks oh hell no hell no i can't ask one more question one quick one um why do you guys uh do you guys not like or why is the uh florida comedy scene scene bad i'm born and raised in orlando my whole life and i just saw brian counten's improv a couple months ago i'm just curious that's why i'm joking brian counten's extremely hilarious and i'm just joking and no the florida scene's actually pretty good like i was just in naples last week uh tampa's dope orlando was good they got fort lauderdale miami there's a ton of spots there the palm beach improv it's good there's just i don't know what it is you know it's just not like other cities i don't

know why man well florida's a state first of all and i want to i don't want to challenge i'm saying those cities it's like something especially miami there's like so much going on but they're good crowds yeah you guys just get a bad rap yeah i think there's just so much going on in Florida. There's crime. There's pirates. There's First 48. There's 48 more murders. There's alligator.

There's cocaine. It's baby at the Disney World. There's Disney World. There's Orlando. There's Universal Studios. There's just so much. You got Tampa Bay Beckoners. You got Tom Brady up the street.

Yeah, some of my favorite comedians have come out of Florida, though. Some great guys have come out of Florida. Yep. Daniel Tosh. Eric Myers, RIP. Who else was out of? There's tons of guys out of Florida. Is there tons?

Yeah. Who's that Latino guy? Fluffy? No. No, not Fluffy. Fuck, I can't remember him. It's all good. Yeah. Daniel Tosh is from there, and he represents pretty hard.

Yeah. So I think it's got a good scene. I think there's a lot of places that comedians can drive through, drive up and down that coast and hit spots. There's a ton of spots out there, man. Yeah. I think Orlando is just a weird place in general. It's almost like the Bermuda Triangle, but it's on the land.

You know? It's such a diverse city. It's bizarre. Race wars every fucking corner. Let's go. Let's go. Stay strapped, dog. That's all you can do, dude.

Keep learning the martial arts, man. Yep, learn the martial arts, man. Good questions, though, brother. Appreciate it, man. Good luck with your tournament. I appreciate you guys. Thank you for all you do. Yeah, praise, brother.

Later, brother. I like that kid, man. Is that it, Nick? That's it. I appreciate you guys. Thank you for all you do. Yeah, praise brother. Later, brother. I like that kid, man. That's it, Nick? That's it. I feel bad. I tried to bite part of my fingernail off. That hurts. And you ripped the skin? I don't know. It's the thing where I know in an hour it's going to hurt more. Me too.

It makes me so mad, Brendan. My nails are a nightmare. I bite them when I'm stressed. What's wrong with yours? Look at them Yeah I don't have any nails Oh I know

My god I know dude Those look like they were in a fire Look at my thumb dude Oh I know Look what you do to him He stressed me out

Yeah Yeah well look what you just did to me This big piece And I needed this This is stuff when you get into bread or something Yeah We get into bread or something. You get into bread.

Like that Hawaiian bread you bite like that. When I'm a rip open a croissant, I'm not going to have that freaking outside pressure. Get a little salt in there. Yeah, dude. I'm just not going to have the, I just can't get that angle. Good luck eating barbecue, daddy.

That petunia pizza or whatever. Not good, man. That town had a population of 4,700 people? Yeah. Yeah, 2,400. Oh, yeah, Petunia's. We didn't leave our Yelp review. Oh, she... Let's go there.

She said she's going to send us some shirts, too. We need to get your sizes up for the show. We'll have to buy some. We'll start you off. Let's see if we can get some of the hormones that they got those animals on, too, and get them into your butt. Jerk.

For the Yelp review, where are you going to leave? Say some of the best barbecue I've ever had. A little chatty though. We know what. It's our first one. I don't think anything negative. Okay, you guys are lame. Yeah, I am pretty lame. I'll agree

to that. But I would say All Women's Barbecue, man. That's a first of a kind. All'll agree to that. But I would say... All women's barbecue, man. That's a first of a kind. All women's barbecue. Let's see what these bitches want from an N-word. Like they say in that song. DMX. What these bitches want from...

What these bitches want from... Yeah. And then we have to hush. Yep. I'm not eligible to sign up for a deal. Yeah. Maybe leave it after the show. And that's a personal issue.

Yeah. I can't even yelp anymore I'm going to do it on my own time Yeah, probably best I'm sure he will Yeah, doing time is something Nick's good at Okay That's it, man

Love seeing you, brother Yeah, love seeing you too, man Gang, gang, bub, buz Gang, gang, bub, buz I'm in Lexington, Kentucky May 6th through the 8th And then Houston, Kentucky May 6th to the 8th and then Houston, Texas

May 20th to the 22nd get your tickets, coming strong and I'm going to be in it looks like I'm going to be you can go to theovon.com slash tour, I'm going to be in North Carolina Minnesota, Baltimore and Buffalo there should be some new tour dates

that are up and that's it man love you guys more in Buffalo. There should be some new tour dates that are up. And that's it, man. That's it, man. Love you guys. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go.

I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls' letter. Instagram famous. Damn.

Hungry like I'm fresh off off keto Seeing red like Andrew Santino Every song I hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs

A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like nintendo ds you don't want to smoke like joey diaz meaning y'all edible just got my eyebrows threaded and i'm feeling incredible britain's son hit me up he said it's too loud in the club can you pick me up king and the sting king and the sting oh yeah king and the sting, bee sting, rat king King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string King in the sting, king in the sting King in the sting, bee sting, rat king

King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string.