The Golden Hour - Episode 123: Brendan's Funeral

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

Theo's mom calls into the show, Steebee Weebee is back in the Culture Corner, and the guys talk Brendan's new psychotic supplement, the gang role plays speaking at Brendan's funeral, also, we do an all new segment with anonymous confession call in's from fans and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And then he went and told the coach. I thought I was going to get cut from the team. The coach brought me in. He was so intimidating. His name was Gary Barnett. Pull up a picture of Gary Barnett. And we were... Pull up a picture of Gary Barnett, please.

I mean, Hall of Fame coach. I think I met him one time. He won a Rose Bowl at Northwestern. He was so intimidating. Who didn't? He's the only one ever. But...

Ha ha ha! Gang, gang. Come on, Bo! Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, gang. Boom, boom. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude.

My puppy. This asshole is... What happened to your asshole? Yeah, what happened, bud? I'm not doing well. Oh, you're not feeling well? I'm not feeling great. I can't stop sweating.

What happened? A friend of mine goes... Hold on, my mom's calling. My mom's calling. Let's see what she says. Let's see what your mom says. I'm going to say I have to work with Brendan today so on, my mom's calling. I'm going to see what she says. I'm going to see what your mom says. I'm going to say I have to work with Brendan today so you know how I'm feeling. Yeah, let's see what she's put on speaker.

Hey, Ma. Hey, are you back, Sam? Back where? In Nashville. Oh, no, I'm in Los Angeles still. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I won't bother you.

I was just wondering how you were doing. We got some new King and the Sting merch, though. I've got to get you some. Oh, well, I want that group of podcasters, remember? In like a little mug or something. Oh, the artwork. Yes. Okay.

Yeah. I've got to go in and work with Brenda right now, so I'm just doing some deep breathing exercises first. Okay. Yeah, I'm watching, or I have earlier today been watching the Stevie Weeby thing. Did you do that, like, prior to this visit out there? No. Oh, that was a current one?

Yeah, and that guy is really, oh, I don't know what's happening with him. He seems like a nice fellow. Yeah, he's a nice fellow. Yeah, he is, Ma. He is a nice fellow. You're busy now. I will, when do you get back to Nashville? Sunday.

Okay. All right. I'll give you a call. Are you enjoying your time out there? Yeah, it's been pretty nice. I'm just wondering. Stevie was so alarming to me. What?

The whole podcast is alarming? No, the Stevie fella. That fella. Oh, he's alarming to you? Yes, ma'am. Yeah. Huh. I don't know.

I mean, I'm only into it a little bit, but that's the second time he's been on there. And I wasn't alarmed the first time. Well, you will be after this one, Mom. You're with someone, are you, Theo? Yeah, I'm just at the studio right now. We're just about to start our episode. What's up, Mama? That's Brendan. What's up mama?

Hey Brendan. I'll call you when you're back in Nashville. Okay. Alright. Love you Theo. I love you bye. That's sweet. Well. Yeah you tried you know you tried the bait and she wasn't she was in biting. She likes the

episode she watches it all. She liked it. But yeah she said he wasn't alarming the first time. Wow. I said, just wait, man. Just wait. You know, that fellow just alarmed me, man. I didn't know. Did you feel that?

Does that happen a lot in y'all's culture, Tim, where people start to just devolve as they get to a certain age? He went deep, though. I thought it was interesting. I thought it was so much stuff I would hide. I thought it was interesting. He's a pretty open book. Yeah.

If he was secretive about it, I'd be more alarmed. If he's like, I can't tell you what I'm into, I'm like, oh, this is weird. Yeah, that's me. But he's pretty open book yeah if he was secretive about it i'd be more alarmed if he's like i can't tell you what i'm into i'm like oh this is weird yeah it's pretty harmless yeah yeah yeah you're right harmless unless you're a fake ass yeah it's pretty harmless and oh my god what is this one i have darker ones which one do you like okay yeah i got some over there in the closet. Yeah, I'll show you. But these are nicer. These are way nicer than my suit.

I have so many questions. I don't. Is this the date we sent him on? I don't even know, man. Things are looking up. His date was way more lit than Chin's, I'll tell you that. And no alcohol. That's what Chin wanted at the tell you that. And no alcohol.

This is what Chin wanted at the end of it. Yeah, man. What is this? I don't know. I didn't know they had breast meat at Benihana, though. I know that. Boy, TGI Friday is doing all they can to bring people back, huh? Jesus Christ. Bro, I just want to say right now, Asian hate is stopped, apparently.

Okay? It has been put an end to. Is it off, Nick? Can you take it off? You don't know what it's from, Nick? So, do you know who David So is? Cho. Cho.

Cho. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He used to have a show called- DVDSA. And Stevie Weeby was a character on it, and that was just one bit. Most of it's been wiped from the internet, but that's like- Why did it get wiped from the internet?

I think someone – I mean, God. Someone told me in like 2013 he had some like allegations, and this was just like – Oh, he was just trying to – Stevie had some? No. David Cho. David Cho.

And this is all hearsay. I don't know a lot about David Cho. We got to get Stevie some allegations, man. No, we don't want that. We got to find my girl, dude no we don't want that we gotta find my girl dude and allegations are gonna help that I don't know these days man the way that everybody it's like you know even Jeffrey Dahmer had women who wanted to reach out to him in jail do you know that the Night Stalker had a freaking squad of women yeah he went on a dating show the Night Stalker yeah no he did really nick man i

wish two guys had computers that could look it up huh i said i wish two guys had computers yeah unbelievable what are you looking up huh you guys where are you guys at today was uh we guys watching freaking uh full house online yeah there's your family feud rerun over there. Richard Ramirez on Dating Show. He looks a little like him. Oh, he does look a little bit like him. Is this guy a serial killer? I don't know. I could have found this in 10 seconds.

That's him, dude. That's not Richard Ramirez, but I hear he is. Hold that one here. Ooh. He killed that lady right there. Nighttime, but I hear he is. Hold that one here. Ooh. He killed that lady right there. Nighttime, but it really gets good. In retrospect, it has got to be one of the creepiest moments on TV. It's so Hollywood, man.

He says, I always get my girl. That guy looks like a fossil. The so-called dating game killer is one of the country's most notorious criminals. They told us that they had found Robin. Oh, okay. We get it. Okay, it's getting dark We just want to see a serial killer on a dating game

We're just trying to find Stevie a date Have we had any We've got some coming in, right? Have we had anything happening with that, Nick? Yeah, we just started getting some entrance in We gotta sift through them, we want to keep Stevie safe So We'll be sifting through them

And next week we'll have an update or two weeks we'll have an update. And maybe we could do a thing where he burns the sex toy. You know? Yeah. Or we put dynamite on and blow it up. Because burning,

I mean, it's going to be a 70 minute video. You think? Yeah, that ass is pretty sturdy. Oh, unbelievable. I think we blow that. I think we put some M80s in that bitch and blow it up. Yeah.

With all the oil in it, it just blows up everywhere. That'd be sick, huh? Watch him. Maybe him and his date, they go to the burning of his sex thing. Or they both put their hands on the thing and go. Ooh, I like that. Slow motion. Like at the end of Little House on the Prairie.

Can you bring that up, Nick? Yeah. Little House on the Prairie, last episode. Oh, this was good. Is this Nickelback? Yeah, they put it to Nickelback. Why would they put Nickelback to it? He put anything to it. Yeah, you're right. I celebrate Nickelback. Somebody put an old guy

falling off a cliff to Nickelback. And it's still lit. Still slaps. I mean, it makes you care about the guy a little. Yeah. Here's the thing about anybody going to do... That was that they blew up the town because the rich people came and took it. Yeah makes sense they said all right you can have our town and they blew it up called abbott kenny but also um anybody who's gonna go on a date with stevie weeby they know what he's into no they're already familiar with it it's not like these girls just like yeah i know nothing about him let me freaking sign up for this yeah they know that he's into those dark oil art oh bro bro he should work

at a jiffy lube you know he should work at an all african-american jiffy lube it looks like that's not a bad idea oh it's not a bad idea yeah they only do impalas yeah and paul wall's their number one client yeah break lives matter take zest to houston yeah i love that oh my god here's a woman right here no into stevie no no like i said we haven't we haven't found the correct suit there's been a lot of cosplay men also that have submitted i will say that some worries uh or some larps live action role playing yeah yeah they just want me in the game yeah yeah yeah it's more larpers it's more like construction workers who just gave who are only you know doing pills now a lot of truck

drivers looking for a road lizard yeah a lot of people just out there with pvc pipe a couple of dudes perked out with some pvc pipe freaking fencing on the side of a freaking highway some dudes just want to beat them up yeah a lot of right-wing larpers baby dude first of all i want to see right-wing larpers attack a renaissance fair am i the only one that would be sick and when does that kind of stuff start yeah forget storming the capital man start taking over these LARP sessions, dude. Or get LARPers to go up there and attack that Portland Park or whatever, wherever they keep taking those pictures at.

The Amanda Fort Knox. Yeah. That would be sick. Two weeks ago, we talked about taxidermy. It was one of our cannery sting it topics, and someone wanted to show some off. It's Nick's old. Oh, wow. She's Nick's old...

Oh, wow. She got those taxidermy fronts, huh? Hey, guys. It's Becca from California. Apparently, she stuffed them tits. Hey, guys. It's Becca from California, and I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. What a little... He is my first ever bull elk shot in Colorado on a hunting trip with my dad.

Yes, I eat him. It's been almost two years and I'm still eating him. Not to be too Joe Rogan, but I try not to eat store-bought meat. And I got him stuffed because I wanted to always have a token of the hunting trip with my dad because it was like the best week of my life. And it was amazing. Did you bait him in with the anyway love you guys let me know if you ever want to go on a hunt gang gang shoot stuff oh yeah no she's beautiful man what are you bro oh my god no that's inked up man oh no that's prosthetic full left sides inked up that's a super bad and she will shoot you right in the fucking face, Theo.

So watch your words, man. I didn't say anything, did I? No, I was the one kind of hinting at her enticing the deer with her tits. Yeah, dude. Quit with the CT reverse psychology over here, okay? First of all, I think that's a prosthetic limb, brother. No, dog. She's inked up from the floor.

Can you zoom in on that limb? Go ahead. Look at prosthetic limb, brother. No, dog. She's inked up from the floor. Can you zoom in on that limb? Go ahead. Look at that great art, man. Oh, she got the deer tattooed before she even killed it. Oh, yeah. Calling her shot. And there's Bobby Lee. That looks better than that freaking one that we didn't have any close-ups on.

I wish we had. He texted me at 9 p.m. with it. Oh, you're trying to get pictures of his tats? Bro, the first tat, and I love both these boys, looked nothing like Bobby Lake. Not a chance. And nobody supported me on that. No, I support you.

I said it looks like a ghost from the concert. Actually, there... Ooh, there looks like Bobby if they found him in a lake after several days. Yeah, Bobby Lake. Yeah. It's the exact same. Yeah, it's the exact same as that it's just grown up also what artist

did that why is the nose all fucked up like that i don't know she looks like anne spank right there i'll tell you that and look at all those hieroglyphs under it and look there's andrew santino over there on the right no that's cool doing a cannonball i think that's actually jeremiah walken is it really yeah oh yeah that's actually Jeremiah Watkins. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the Scissor Bro shirt. He came up to me yesterday.

He's like, hey. I think the Ewok looks more like Bobby. No shit. That's spot on. Stevie couldn't even handle that when I told him. That's beautiful, though. Look, I mean, it's good art good art man and that's great to see it um what's going on dude so would you dude i a friend of mine goes oh yeah i tried this new

pre-workout mix man i know you like you know caffeine and stuff like that so i took this pre-workout mix i looked at the label i think i sent to nick says it's called chaotic or psychotic pre-workout mix oh it might be ketamine no i think it's meth and viagra is in that thing because i could not stop sweating christian i know you like to get high on your adderall just take one little scoop of this dude and it's so i couldn't stop sweating i could have fucking built a spaceship to mars out of sweat oh dude that with adderall you'd be unstoppable or you're gonna die because my heart was beating like a goddamn hummingbird.

And my asshole was like, we're gonna get work today. We're going overtime. We're gonna do a drop set of shit. I'm gonna turn on the AC. I can tell it's still hitting. My heart's a million miles an hour. I see everything. I feel like one of those monkeys with the big eyes.

That's what I feel like. I want to attack you right now, dude. It's so weird. Did you bring any for the boys or what? No, don't take it. Do not fucking take it, bro. I don't need any of that. You definitely don't need that, man.

I'll see you snorting on the side of the highway in a week. Don't do it, man. I seriously think there's meth in that thing. Yeah, it's scary out there. Gummy candy, it's called. That's not baiting for children. And it also says psychotic across the middle of it. What are you guys trying to do?

Dude, it says energy, focus, pumps, psycho. Dude, I was in there like, I'm so excited. I couldn't stop, dude. I thought y'all were just trying to go to the gym. Dude, I'm trying. It's a thick boy summer, man. I'm trying to get in shape by any means necessary. But that's where I draw the line.

But didn't you, weren't you already doing fitness? Like, do you need this man's stuff? How do you know this man? He's my buddy. Is he? And he was just like, hey, this is what I use. You take a bunch of coffee and other shit. Why not take this?

And I looked at the label and said, do not take seven hours before we go into bed. And also, don't take more than one scoop. Well, I did two scoops because I thought, I'm so caffeinated all the time. This isn't going to do anything. Wrong, Brendan. Wrong. Oh, two scoops. It was almost like an extract.

I could see through people in the gym, dude. It was sick. Really? Yeah. Oh. Two scoops. Two sc. Ooh. Two scoops. Two scoop shop, they're going to call you. Call me Scoops.

At your funeral. What would you guys say at Brendan's funeral, you think? Let's get a couple of words from everybody. Yeah, if I keep this up, you're going to be ready. Well, I want to be prepared right now. I want to get a little prepared so you're not shocked, even though you're going to be G-O-N-E. That's gone. Yeah.

What do you think, Chin? What would you say if you had to say a couple words at B's Drop? We were buddies, right? Not friends, buddies. It was great to be his buddy. And also, now that he's gone. Man, my family's even like, damn, fuck Chin. After all Brendan's done for him.

Brendan? You called me that. You called me a buddy. He's been listening to you for freaking almost six years. He's not for you to listen to. Let me speak. Yeah, go ahead. And also, now that Brendan's gone, basically 99.9% of my career is over.

He doesn't have to show my job. So he's going to start networking. So anybody who needs a really good engineer, producer, let me know, man. So bring business cards to the funeral, man. I've DM'd everyone at this funeral. It's insane. Nick, what do you know, man. So bring business cards to the funeral, man. I've DM'd everyone at this funeral. It's insane. Nick, what do you think, man? Okay, Christian, let's get something from Christian, man.

From the little ribeye right there. Little meat sock or whatever. I don't really know. I'd say I've known Brendan for about a month and a half. It was a great month and a half. And I'd probably maybe post an story from like the fighter and the kids Account like me next to Brennan's coffin or something or RIP to the fighter. Yeah, I love you Christian I don't know if you're speaking at my funeral

That are closest Next got a few words. He wants to. Dude, this is dark. Huh? Hey, man, I just used some pre-workout stuff. I'll be all right, bro. Will you, bucko? Have you met yet? Okay. Dude, you couldn't look any more like the rat king from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, then that works. You look identical to him. That's the exact fucking outfit. Dude, put me back in the freaking ring, man. Rapaport, you want some of this fucking smoke he moved to new york did he yep full time dude that little freaking 200 grain pussy all of a sudden the knicks get good and he moves back yeah i remember when poor zingas was gonna beat his ass for saying something and then kevin garnett

was going to then he moved closer to kevin garn. I remember watching him yell for two years on his phone, yelling at Donald Trump into a video camera. Dude, once Donald Trump lost the election, I text him. I go, what are you going to do now? What are you going to do, dude? Your entire bit's over. Yeah, go back. You can't do that for Biden. He's not giving you any material.

There's nothing. No. Unbelievable. Yeah. Listen, I've seen the Kanye Sting fans, and a lot of you need some help. All right? You need better help. Just not any help.

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slash K-A-T-S. Again, that's MVMT.com slash K-A-T-S. A couple weeks ago, we asked people for, in one of our Shark Tank segments, someone suggested we take people's confessions. Like the apology line, yeah. Yeah, and we actually got some decent ones.

I hope we get a serial killer like the apology line. That'd be so interesting. Oh, yeah. Our ratings would go. I wonder if anybody we know has serial killed out there, and I want to say something to people. I didn't get to speak at the funeral. You didn't either, Nick.

Oh, right. Yeah. I didn't like that. Well, it's almost over. Nick? So I have a gambling problem. And when you gamble, one thing you like is parlays. And if there's one thing Brendan could do, it was parlay his career into the next big step.

Oh, this is nice. Now, finally, someone says I'm nice. He was an athlete, football player, to UFC fighter, to podcaster, to stand-up, to mentor. The man has a big house, big car. Thought I heard mentor in there. I know you're going to throw big dick. Yeah, big dick. But even a bigger heart.

Oh, this is nice, man. And that's on the spot, dude. And those last couple of raises he gave me were really welcome. See? God bless him. Wow. Stand ovation for my mom crying. Finally.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's good to be here closing out the show for Brendan. One of my fans backs and go, you suck! That's fine, dude. You were mean to him! It's Jay. Look, I'm just happy to be here. My mom. You suck!

I'm just happy to be here with my new child, Boston. And my son, Chin. He's dance over. Thanks, Dad. Brandon, you'll be missed, man. And we know you'll be up at the big, you know, we'll see you in the big octagon of the sky, Big Daddy. You know? We know we'll see you up there just high on pre-workout.

Just panhandling by the interstates of the Lord, my brother. And you will be missed, baby, but not forgotten. I'm getting a huge tattoo of your son Boston on my back. This is so dark. And it's going to have him with a little Mexican flag, and it's going to say, These colors don't run on the bottom. These colors don't run on the bottom these colors don't run amigo and i'm also gonna sell an nft of me walking up that muddy hill at your funeral

but man uh you're one of the hardest working guys i know and you were loved and you will be missed this is so dark Fucking give us the apology line shit Nick. Here's the first one. Hey guys, I saw your post on Instagram about leaving something anonymous and I want to tell

you guys something that's been going on in my life. Last year at my sister's wedding, I walked in on her soon-to-be husband making out with one of his best men. I told her about it,

but she just thinks that I was too drunk, that I didn't do the right thing. But I know for a fact, I saw him sucking face with that dude. What should I do guys love the show bye Well, look, brother, thanks for sharing it. That's kind of wild to see. I remember I let – You've probably gotten high a few times, kissed a couple friends.

No, I have not. No, I have not. I think a guy tried to pill me up one time and take advantage of me one time. But I don't know. I was on pills. But here's what I'm telling you is this, man. I think you'd almost rather see them blowing each other than kissing oh i disagree bubba you think yeah i don't know what because maybe who knows maybe they you know

something you're saying there's a really like a passionate relationship if they're like sucking face yeah i mean you're blowing some guy you don't know that good at a party or whatever if they're all look they could just be really italian if they're just blowing each other that's what cuomo says yeah i don't know man yeah you suck in face i'd rather see some dude sucking face than sucking dick tuxedo you know i know you're gay i don't know man first of all i'm not doing that. Second of all, if I walk in your, say it's your wedding, right? Yeah. And I walk in the back. And I'm sucking bass with Callan.

And you, no. You're giving a front side piggyback ride to a little freaking mukbang over there. Naked? Naked or in our tuxes? Naked or in our tuxes? What does it matter? It matters, dude. Because we're just playing a game

Having fun before I go out there And fucking get married Or it's pretty gay if we're both naked man Well I think y'all are in your tuxes I don't remember exactly what it was But I think y'all are in your tuxes But you're giving that little front side Freaking uh

Wheelbarrow You're giving that front side little March of the penguins What's his name? What's his name? Burnhead, whatever his name is over there. Haircut. MeatHawk, the fucking kid who works in here. Dude, MeatHawk, couldn't you call him

Meatball? Whatever his name is. He's Italian. Meatball works. My bad. Meatball. Yeah, okay. Do you like Meatball better, Christian? Yeah, that's actually been my nickname for about 15 years. Well, it's going to be another 15. Yeah, now your nickname is Frontside Penguin. Oh, yeah.

Okay. And what is this? This is the guy's heart rate during the sex thing? What would you do, though, Brennan? The guy needs suggestion. The thing is, you walk in on your buddy who's getting married and he's sucking face some dude

who knows he might be a little drunk he's like dude I'm going out there man yeah you know I'll see where it is should we hear another one

yeah let's hear another one and that guy we didn't tell him anything I mean I don't listen if you're the brother it's like yeah he's being your sister dude alright and he made out

with his buddy before he went out there. It's weird, but also be cool, man. Yeah, yeah. Be fucking cool. Don't ruin their entire fucking lives, you know? Maybe it was one last hurrah. Maybe he was gay back in the day for pay.

Yeah. I didn't mean to rhyme all that, but you get the idea. And also, at least somebody's marrying your sister. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know how many people would love to have their sisters married? It doesn't matter if it's to a gay dude a mailman a freaking nick no no no no my sister i want her to get married oh sorry there you go sorry oh should we start taking some

submissions for your sister what if we connect stevie and your sister oh she's single, she's actually not. She in the ass place? She is, actually, for a living. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Great point. Wow. The one time Nick has a great opportunity for a joke. This is a match made in heaven. Move colonics.

Check it out. Man, this is just. She does colonics, man. It's the exact thing that Stevie needs. Yeah. It's finally time for him to get off his bullshit. He could work at her office because he loves asses. She could teach him the fucking ropes, man. exact thing that stevie needs yeah it's finally time for him to get off his bullshit he could work at her office because he loves asses she could teach him the fucking the ropes man he

could just come in there hey bob yeah hey guys i'm gonna get in your ass yeah i'm gonna get everything out of your ass i'm texting her asking if she go on a date with him she comes to la all the time how old is she uh 38, 37. That's fine. And I think we've seen her before, too. She's pretty. Yeah, Stevie's 72. Yeah. I miss a shoe in, Nick.

Don't be a cock block, dude. Well, he also said, though. Now, look, I don't want to set Steve up here. Hook the ass master up, dude. She has a boyfriend, you said, Nick. She does. Oh, dude, this is info we could have used two minutes ago. These things are dead end, bubba. But look, I would think just be happy your sister has.

Damn. You have a beautiful lady right there. The sister on the left? And the right. But the one on the right is married. They're both your sisters? Yeah. It's before and after the colonic.

And they're blood related? Whoa, whoa. Sorry, I'm just joking. Hey, they're both beautiful. Hey, they're blood related? You're blood related your blood related to them yeah damn wow good for good for you turn on you turn i got hit with the ugly stick up and happen it's all it's all that's mean no it's all my teeth if i had nice teeth i'd look exactly like Natalie, unfortunately. Yeah, probably not, but I like where you're at, though. Beautiful ladies, beautiful family.

Hey, why did someone comment, goes, fart, sister, sister? What? What's wrong with people? Well, the comment on there was fart. That was actually my sister's caption. Oh, wow. Oh. Oh, wow.

Yep, that's your sister. Yeah. She loves colonics, man. That's her life. Are you guys close? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's your sister. Kalonix, man. It's her life. Are you guys close? Yeah, yeah. I've met her before. Yeah, yeah.

When was the dinner? First thing she asked, she started a podcast with like seven listeners, and first thing she did was ask Theo if he'd be on it. I was so pissed. I was so pissed. Oh, I thought it was appropriate to ask. I've been asked for a while. People were like, hey, man, i'm doing a thing where i'm

interviewing uh spirits of deceased uh native americans man love to have you on we got episode six coming up we're actually gaining some steam man yeah last one got 30 listeners yeah it's called dances with ghosts yeah it's like i'm okay i like, let me know when you get to 100 episodes and then we'll think about it. That's what you told her! How many did she do? I think she's getting there. Oh, she's still

kicking it? Yeah, yeah. She used it as like lead generation for her business and stuff. She talked about like asses and stuff? They try to just talk about careers, but I think she pigeonholed it in there. No pun intended. The old pigeonhole daddy. Well, look, fella, I think you just got to be happy your sister's married. I think these days.

Don't be a hater, man. Yeah. And I think you, you know, every now and then check in with the guy. Make sure as long as he's taking care of your sister, you know, like. You know what I would do? I'd hire a private investigator. See what he's doing on those happy hour nights you feel me no i don't you don't think he's you don't think he already saw

him kissing a man yeah but we gotta look more into it maybe that was the last gay hurrah for him before he walked out there to the altar or maybe it's not Maybe that was just the start of it, and now he's going up that poop chute every Friday night at Happy Hour, Doug. Oh, God. I know. The guy who called in could let his brother-in-law know that he knows, but not tell him that he told his sister and she didn't believe him or whatever. Like, what's up, Doug?

And then he's got a free servant, you know, like a sitcom. Yeah, that's true. Or just get drunk at Thanksgiving and freaking let the family know. Yeah, I agree. Light them up over that stuffing, dude. Yeah. Like, hey, Jerry, remember that time it's like making out with Jeff before you got married? Like, what?

I saw it. That happened. Jeff's gay, y'all. Enjoy the turkey. That'd be lit, dog. If you do that, film it for us hey jeff pass that stuffing am i right man that time i saw you making out with gary dude drop that fucking thanksgiving bomb daddy yeah you have to man that's what thanksgiving is for it really is thanksgiving is for boozing, watching Detroit

lose, and front yard allegedly gay fistfights in the family. If you do that, record it for us, man. Yeah, brother. And good luck to you out there, man. Thank you. Let's see what this guy says. Hey, what's up, Brendan? What's up, Theo?

I ain't gonna say my name because y'all said to do it anonymously. Yeah. Yeah, I got my roommates with me. I got three roommates in this house. And the thing I want to get off my chest is whenever they go out, whenever they have a party, whenever they, you know, bring something home and have leftovers.

I eat that shit. I eat it every single time. I eat all of their food. So they have no idea. No, they do. I don't know what happened. No, they do. Everybody knows.

Yeah. I eat for free. I eat for free. No, Bubba, they know. Everybody because you're you're 280 pounds dude you're the only large man in the house it's not a mystery dude yeah yeah you think you've gotten this entire time without them getting together figuring out fucking larry's eating all the fucking leftovers man brendan maybe he needs the sustenance maybe this guy's not doing well you know you don't know some of these people. Or maybe he just likes free fucking food, dude,

and they're bringing back fire dishes. Yeah. He's just like, hell yeah, put that in the fridge, man. That'd be fun tomorrow. And maybe they're so wasted when they get up in the morning like, what the? When he said whenever they bring something home, I thought he was referring to women. Yeah, I thought so too.

Yeah. But that's his women. That's his. That's his outlet. Yeah. That's his sexual outlet. So I think that's his women. That's his. That's his outlet. Yeah. That's his sexual outlet. So I think here's what you do, Bubba. You eat some of their food.

You eat some of their food, but then you get some of what other sauces are and put it on their mouth while they're drunk. So they think they ate it when they woke up. Or just stain their shirts too. God, you boys went wild on that pad thai last night. Yeah. Meanwhile, you got a full belly. Yeah. You got to get better at doing it, dude.

You got to be the Dexter of leftovers. Yeah. You got to cover your tracks, man. You're going to get caught. And they're going to hear this and know it's you for sure. The Dexter of leftovers. That's great. I got to confess, too.

I wasn't this bad. I didn't always eat it. I tried to cover my tracks But like I was dipping into My college roommate's milk All the time Just trying to take a little bit

Just wash something down Hoping they wouldn't notice They all knew I'm sorry Adam Michael Dude I had a roommate I had a roommate

At the University of Colorado My first roommate He was on the football team This big tight end Kid way bigger than me You know When you get When you're roommates

Or you know Like if when your roommates or you know like if there's something in the studio what's mine is yours i don't give a fuck i don't have groceries you could eat them i don't give a fuck i ate one hot pocket i come back after practice while i was at practice i like took longer like what happened he was dead no i wish no he fucking went back home and put post-it notes on every single thing that's his even individually individually, like when you get individual wrappers of Pop-Tarts. He opened the box, put his name on every single individual fucking Pop-Tart. We got in a straight-up fist fight. I threw him through a glass window.

And then he went and told the coach. I thought I was going to get cut from the team. The coach brought me in, and he was so intimidating. His name was Gary Barnett. Pull up a picture of Gary Barnett, please. I mean, Hall of Fame coach. I think I met him one time. He won a Rose Blot at Northwestern.

He was so intimidating. Who didn't? He's the only one ever. That's why he's a legend. But dude, there he is. The University of Colorado logo behind him. Great coach. Oh my God, I met that guy one time.

I was doing a show at UC Boulder, and they introduced us to the football coach for some reason. I was probably there, dude. Dang. But anyway, I go to his office. I'm so scared I'm going to get cut. We're knee to knee. And he goes, I heard what happened. I'm like, I'm so sorry, coach.

But we're roommates, and we're teammates. I figure we shared everything. So what'd you do? I go, he got in'm like, I'm so sorry, coach. But we're roommates and we're teammates. I figured we shared everything. So what'd you do? I go, he got in my face, started threatening me. And he goes, and then what? And then I grabbed him, threw him through a glass window. And he goes, well, you handled it. He's like, I'm going to write down community service for you.

And he's like, get out of here. That's it, man. Those were the glory days. Now kids are getting kicked off the team, fine, canceled. Yeah. I think, I don't know if that's the glory days, but I think it's nice that you guys had that time together. Yeah.

He was, yeah. Gary Barnett. You got a standing up picture of him, full body Nick. Legend. He does Fox college football now. Did he get fired? Cause he said stuff about that female kicker from Colorado? Katie and Ida. That was when I was there, yeah.

Wow. And then my last year was his last year. Then they brought in Hawkins, who fucking ruined the team. Because he was like, you know what? We're only going to take kids that get really good grades. So we had a team full of white and Asian kids, and we lost every game. Great coach. Yeah.

I miss him, man, RIP. No, he's still alive, but yeah, I hear you. I miss him as a coach. Yeah, I do too. We had a guy coach Steve for a little while. He used to give us rides home. Those were... I had a peewee football coach.

He told us we were having a rough day. And he goes, You think I play for the Kansas City Chiefs acting like this? And I was looking. I'm like, God, that guy play for the fucking Chiefs? He was all fat. There's no chance. But even in my head, I'm like, there's no chance.

But all the kids were like, he played for the Chiefs. So we listened to him. And then finally, we're done. Again, he was driving us to dinner or something like that. And I go, man, who was your quarterback? Was it Steve DeBerg? And the Chiefs turned around and went, I never played for the Chiefs. I only played one year of high school football.

I'm like, God, you piece of shit, man. All this time, we were believing your bullshit. Manipulation, man. That's what that's called brother that's what happened to you today's king of the sting is brought to you by athletic greens the most comprehensive daily nutritional beverage i've ever put down my throat i will deep throat the hell out of these greens man because i can't be in the head of lettuce all the time or broccoli i can't be doing none of that i I take this Hulk right down the drain pipe.

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fucking great did we help the one kid so one eats all the food we told me has to be the dexter of leftovers and then the other one dude tell tell the rat rat your brother-in-law out at Thanksgiving. I feel like we helped them. Yeah, I think so. And they're really just trying to get it off their chest. I don't know if we need to give advice, but anything we can let them know. And I'll help this guy. It's Keeps promo code as cats for hair loss.

God damn. This guy's hair is great hair. The guy has great hair. He's got style. Oh, no, he's losing it, Bubba. You think so? Oh, yeah, look at his forehead. I don't know.

You might feel less bad for him after you hear his plan. Okay. His first king it or sting it. Hey, what up, king and sting? Oh, he's Australian. My name's Nick. I'm from Nantucket Island. I love you guys.

I've been watching y'all since the jump. It's kind of king it or sting it kind of relationship advice. So a little backstory. I was dating this girl for a while. Kind of an exhibitionist. Sent me a lot of photos and videos and kind of provocative stuff. Prove it. Fortunately, COVID got a hold of her.

And she's no longer with us. But she was a straight up dime. I mean, like something you can't even shake a stick at it. So, King or Sting It. Starting an OnlyFans with your hot, dead girlfriend. I love this guy. Yeah. I need some cash.

So that's where it's at. I'll include a pic as long as Brendan doesn't start pushing rope over it. And other than that, gang, gang, buzz, buzz, let me know. I was just kidding about your hair, Doug. Yeah, thanks. I like this guy. He included a pic? He didn't, and I emailed him back.

He said I have to subscribe. Did he really? Yeah. Priceless. That's good. Businessman. Businessman. That's a businessman right there. That's good businessman businessman that's a businessman that's mark cuban that's america that's the next mark cuban yeah that is definitely mark nantucket for sure uh dude so only let me ask you this when you did watch porn if you found

out your favorite porn star passed away would you stop watching her movies well i always thought that they should have a deceased section like an rip section um but yeah i think it's weird to watch something maybe it's somebody that's deceased if they're a lot but i don't know maybe that's why they did it so it'd still be out there i still listen to michael jackson yeah but you're not listening to him having sex with the kids you know i'm saying if that was the art like if that's what you know yeah it'd be different i feel i mean i'll why i don't know yeah i'll still listen to novana you will yeah will you that's a good point yeah i will that's a really good point brennan somehow thanks man uh here's the thing about his only fans with his deceased girlfriend who got covid That's a good point. Yeah, I will. That's a really good point, Brennan, somehow. Thanks, man.

Here's the thing about his only fans with his deceased girlfriend who got COVID. I love it. I think you have to honor the family somehow, though. Build them a bench. I don't think the family's going to dig it, but also the family's going to ask for all the money. And then also, how many picks do you have, dude? How long is this going to last? He must have a lot. Maybe three months.

But let's say you have a lot. Maybe three months worth of material. Then what, dude? He's got a three. Maybe three months. But let's say you have a lot. Maybe three months worth of material. Then what, dude? You just got a three-month hurrah. And then he's going to be getting his fucking pale ass on there. Taking ass pics and stuff. Well, then I think you start faking. You hire somebody that looks like her who is ill to do it.

And say, oh, this is towards the end of her run. Yeah. And she's still sending them. Yeah. You just get an older lady with that old saggy ass. Like, look what it did to her run. Yeah. And she's still sending them. Yeah. She's getting an older lady. We like that old saggy ass. Like, look what it did to her ass. What COVID did to her?

Yeah. Uh-uh. Oh, you think you still post good pics? Yeah, I think you want to honor the quality. That's one thing I don't like about, I don't have any OnlyFans subscriptions, but I think you want to honor the quality of putting out good stuff.

Do you have any, Chen? I don't. Nick, you do. No, my girlfriend. Christian? Nick can't do any of that. I got a buddy who has OnlyFans accounts. I can't believe Nick's still allowed to be here today.

Nick has been put on notice. Several times. It's good. Breaking bad habits. It's good. No, it's good. It's good. I feel you, man. Good for you, man. I got a buddy with a bunch

of OnlyFans accounts. What about Chunk Meat? What you got, fam? I mean, I've subscribed to like one or two. Wait, wait, wait. Just because I never went over the $10 thing and there were always girls from high school, so I always

wanted to be like, oh, what are they doing? Like, I wanted to see what they were posting because, I mean, why not? Is it good stuff? No. I immediately regret spending the money. My boy, I mean, he probably has 15 to 20 OnlyFans accounts. No, man. How dare you?

He probably has 50 to 20 OnlyFans accounts that he looks at. He shows me the videos. Dude, I mean, they are getting after that. Dude, I mean, because they got to get that money, man. It's like, God damn, girl. Porn? When does it end, you know? I also don't like how when you sign up for OnlyFans,

they can see, like, if you're not smart enough to put, like, a fake name, when you subscribe to someone's account, they can see who you are. Well, smart enough yeah i know yeah you're talking about that happened to you no no no yeah like when i first signed i put a fake name when i first signed up i saw i was like why would people not do this true yeah like i don't like that name like i don't like how you can see their your information if it was completely anonymous i'd be on only fence what name did you put? Meatball?

I think I put, like, John White or something like that. I put some random name. Hold on. I'm from, like, Wisconsin or something. Are you talking about somebody that came over on the Mayflower, dude? John White. Yeah, come on, man. Did you look up names from the Civil War? I know.

Cheapers. That's the best we get? John White. Meanwhile, there's 200 John Whites following the lady. John White ball. Now, are some of them more expensive than others? Cats in the wild. Yeah, there are some of the girls who are busted that will make their account like $30 to $50.

And then you click on it, and it will say one picture, one video. And people subscribe to that. They'll charge $50 a month, like up to 50 bucks a month, some people. And they'll post like maybe one thing. Yeah, you seem pretty into it. See what happened there? Go to the library. We used to have this called the library.

It's not hard to like, once you go on at once, you can kind of figure it out. Like I'll see like the OnlyFans ads. I'll click on it just to see. You know a lot about it, Bubba. Yeah. You know a lot about it, Bubba. Yeah? You know a lot about it, Meatball. Yeah. I like to go on and see how much they're charging.

I'm not judging, dude. Hey. You're not in the court of law here, man. Yeah. His main concern is the business practices. Yeah, sure. Maybe I can help them out. Maybe I can get them more money, you know?

Not a bad idea. Sure, man. Jesus Christ. That shake is great, though, man. Great shakes. Not a bad idea. Sure, man. Jesus Christ. That shake is great, though, man. Great shakes. Keep bringing those, dude. Thanks, bro. I appreciate that.

It's pearly white. Oh, I hit on him. Oh, dude, I'll tell you this. So a girl. You hit on him? There was a girl. No. I never met this guy before.

I met a girl from South Africa at the smoothie shop. How'd it go? She had a kid. She Africa at the smoothie shop. How'd it go? She had a kid. She's an au pair girl. She's like a babysitter. Oh, okay. So she's just watching. Yeah, she had a kid in there with her.

And she gave him a large smoothie. This kid, bro? But the smoothie was bigger than the kid. The kid was just sitting there like this. Sucking it. She just wanted to shut him up. I think so. That's a good way to do it.

And so I was trying to flirt with her. But then I felt like she was asking me questions back, and then I just didn't ask her for her number. I just got scared. You didn't get her Instagram or nothing? Nope. I thought about it, but I didn't. Maybe you'll see her there tomorrow or something, you know? Yeah, that's true.

So what did this chick look like? Give me a visual, Daddy. She was pretty tall. She was South African. Oh, love it. Did you bring up great white sharks? I did. I talk about sharks real quick.

I knew it. And then I talked about I like being in Africa. And then she was kind of milling around a little, and I just should have asked her. She was waiting. Yeah. Should we put out a Miss Connections? Yeah.

We might as well put one out. It was at the Robeck store. So over there off of Ventura and... Bow, bow, bow. I hope it works out. But also, I did my first set at the Comedy Store last night. Oh, how'd it go? It was interesting.

In the main room? Huh? In the main room? OR. How filled? 40 people, maybe. It was so weird. It was like a table.

Nothing, not just a table. Like, like literally when you got off the stage you just kind of walked between the tables it was just no you can never do right usually right it was just so bizarre i mean the jeff scott isn't there anymore it's because he passed away you know and so it's just different right yeah it was just different i'm holding out to june 15th it was bad. Leslie Jones. It was bad. It was not a good night. Did you see any of your boys? Spade was there. Love Spade.

Burr and Maniscalco were there. I didn't see them. They were there before me. And yeah, there was some different people there. It was cool. It was definitely just weird to be back in the building. Like the doors weren't all open. Like you had to kind of go into the kitchen.

And usually it's popping. It was like slow ball to be back in the building. The doors weren't all open. You had to kind of go in through the kitchen. And usually it's popping. It was like slow ball over there. Fuck. So, but I did ask Joe Rogan for those tickets. And? To the July 10th fight. What did he say? He said, I got you covered, bro.

Just remind me in a couple of weeks. That sucks you got to do the second reach out though so i'm gonna light some prayer candles because a week before i'm like i fucking forgot man i gave him the cam haines some shit and then i have to just sit there and hold cam haines's bow and arrow collection the whole time what else you got nick what else you got, Nick? What else you got, Nick? Who is that guy?

Sorry, I interrupted that. Oh, we got some cats in the wild? Yeah. This Theo has an alpaca? Who's that, Chin? Here I go again. Oh, my. Is this Long Neck?

Yeah. We got to check him on Long Neck and see what happened to that guy. Remember when you're hanging out with those guys? He knocked up a porn star, I think. Ah, poor porn star. I know. But you know how easy it'll be to have that baby? Just grab right by that little neck.

Like a slinky, dude. It'd be like one of those old whistles that's hilarious right there dude oh that's pretty close baby you want to tickle that nickel baby there's your brother right there meaty uh fucking bacon strap there's your brother right there fucking gristle nugget there's your brother back before you couldn't get back when white people weren't employing him you know back in the old days what up it's pearly white i got a king of just thing it for you pearly white coaching youth sports i figure you guys would have a good take because uh big brown he looks like the guy that coaches but doesn't have a kid on the team. And Theo, he looks like the guy that goes to the games

and doesn't have a kid on the team. To be honest, I thought about it last night when I was watching the kids' class. Really? I'm like, oh, God. Teach him how to shrimp, man. He was just like, oh, he'll pick it up learning from the older kids. I'm like, god Teach him how to shrimp man Like they He was just like Oh he'll pick it up Learning from the older kids

I'm like Or he could teach him the technique And he was going I'm like oh let me in there man You wanted to teach him Oh so bad Oh you should have got out there I did

Water break Tiger didn't get water So I was like hey come here And then I'd show him Like do this do this And then I'd put him back out there Yeah I loved it man

I'm like I could get used to this Dude if you train tiger Don't give me a fucking clipboard Tiger sob Yeah dog this and i'd put them back out there yeah i loved it man i'm like i could get used to this dude if you train me a fucking clipboard tiger shawb yeah fighting at 50 pounds fighting at 55 now now here's here's the thing with how soon can he fight oh i don't want him to fight man here's the thing about none of us want him tiger's a sweet boy tiger's sweet how's he ever gonna get two belts like that freaking guy right there if If he doesn't fucking get out. It's going to be a long journey, man. Yeah.

My problem about Tiger, though, is he's such a sweet boy. He's really nice. I'm like, dude, this is the one place where he can unleash your fury. You're bigger and more athletic than all these kids and stronger. This is the one safe space you can let go of all that aggression. Yeah. So once he gets that, but he's so nice. He'll pin a kid and be like, you okay?

And then help him up. I'm like, dude, stick it to him, bubba. Yeah, finish he's so nice, he'll pin it, kid, and be like, you okay? And then help him up. I'm like, dude, stick it to him, bubba. Finish him. Finish him, dude. I was yelling, kill him! And Nick Pinnock's like, Jesus Christ, it's his first class. Sweep the leg. Yeah.

It's interesting, but Bosty's different. Bosty has that mean streak. He does? Yes. Yeah, he does, man. He sure does. I took him to P.F. Chang's a couple weeks ago and he was furious at the waitstaff.

He slapped his mom the other day. Oh, nice. That's what I told him. I gave him extra juice box. We've got some good relationship advice today. Hey Brendan, hey Theo. This is Jessica from Washington State. I have a relationship advice question for you.

If you were in a relationship, would you guys discuss your one free hall pass? Whether it be a celebrity or somebody, just one time, one and done, no questions asked. Would you guys allow that? Would that piss you off? Mine is Theo, if I ever bump into him. Who's going down? Let me know. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, gang, gang.

Gang, gang, and also buzz, buzz. And I'm offended. I'm a little offended. Sorry, B. Can't hold me winners. You're like big strong man. Oh, that's fine. She likes his old tired fellas huh you're tired

if you're in a relationship you down for the one the hall pass you know i think it's it it's like if you set here's think people don't set that up well in the beginning people will say oh mine is like julia roberts and then your girl is like, mine is that guy that works as the manager over at Macaroni Grill. The one we see every Friday. You're like, what? But you've already made the deal. It's like, fuck. Yeah, how am I ever going to meet Julia Roberts?

It's not happening. Also, if you got a hot chick, she can dm whoever she wants and she's probably gonna have a shot if i dm fucking cardi b she's not gonna hit me back you feel me yeah that's my hall pass also it's different man i got kids yeah i'm not letting my girl know hall pass man when kids are involved i i don't want to see her you know if she's like oh my hall pass is fucking odell beckham like i don't think so man um yeah i think it's tough what kind of hall pass is good you know jim what are you guys doing out there with hall passes and your hell no i would never do hall pass i'd break up before that happens really yeah i don't have kids either why do you say that man because you're not down for it hell no nothing like that

what about oral only kind of oral no not even kissing no no not even like uh holding hands or is my friend from boston you say a little bit of oral a little bit of oral well i got with this girl she gave me a little bit of oral it was like six i was gonna say it was your friend hella old now who wants a man but going chin i'm sorry that's it no way like if it's a girl the younger generations in that stuff meatball you down for uh some hall passes with your next girl uh yeah i'd be down for it i just pray that i get my hall pass like i'd i'd meet the girl i'd have a hall pass for like and be able to hook up with her and the girl i'm with never meets the guy that she would want her hall pass for well yeah anybody

would pray for that man that's not a prayer that is just kind of the way you would want your hall pass to work out and i respect your point that you're right like if my girl's hall pass was fucking jeff bezos like all right good luck with that yeah and you pick the local stripper yeah mine's gonna be the girl that brings amazon to our house. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You got to aim small with hall passes. Dude, that's the smartest thing you ever said, man. You got to aim. You're out there setting up hall passes.

Don't shoot for the stars, man. Yeah, dude. Shoot for the stop sign. Shoot for P.F. Chang's. Oh, dang. Oh, this guy's not handsome. All right, boys. I got a relationship advice.

Look, you'll be fine. With those dimples, you'll be all right, dude. Yeah. A two and a half year relationship. We broke up about a year ago. Never stopped hooking up, though. Today, she comes up to me and says, Hey, I think we should be in an open relationship

because I want to end up with you. I want to get married to you. But we both got some fun we need to get out of our system. She wants that long hall pass. I don't know how to feel about this, boys. I like my cake. I like to eat it, too. But I definitely don't like sharing my cake.

And since you're at it, boys, hit me with that. Rate my state. We out here in AZ. Born and raised in Minnesota. I'm 6'4", 180. Hey, what's up, King? You a 10, man. Don't be searching for compliments.

He looks like 6'4", 180. Yeah, that means he's Shred City. He's lean, though. And mean, doggy. But how mean, though? 180 to a strong wind could fucking put that dude in a hard scar. Yeah, but he has cardio for days, and he's Shredville, doggy. But how mean, though? 180 to a strong wind could fucking put that dude in a hard scar. Yeah, but he has cardio for days, and he's Shredville, dog. But how shredded?

Like, dude, I mean, what? You're talking bone on skin. You're talking about you could smell marrow in his breath. This dude, you can't have that much. 180's not. Brendan, I'm 184. You probably see his lungs. Yeah, dude.

You home to the light. It looks like a leaf. I found his Instagram. I found his Instagram. Oh, you found him? Yeah, I went to see him. He's a stone his lungs. Yeah, dude. You home the light. It looks like a leaf. I found his Instagram. I found his Instagram. Oh, you found him? Yeah, I went to see him. He's a stone cold tan, man. He looks like Mario Lopez if he didn't do all that Botox.

He's a good looking dude with them dimples, huh? I don't see it. Aisley Bader, huh? I don't see it. Really? You don't think he's a good looking human? I mean, I think he's handsome, but I'm trying not to think about it. Oh, there's his body.

Click on the one where he's sitting in the fucking Aztec place. Yeah, that lighting. That chair's not very wide. He's very lean. He's super thin. This is a certified. He has some hairy nips, huh? Oh, there's his girl who's trying to fuck everybody.

Oh, he's really lean, man. Oh, and they like to party. You're looking at him yeah yeah yeah that was weird feels like oh his jeans have tears that i'm like uh ass on the left come on daddy do you not see the girl that just got done at the rave dude he's had that's the girl from beverly hills 90210 dude tori tori's spelling uh yeah go back and click on her though let's see because she's looking for you might be her long haul path you think yeah you might be her extended stay of dick dude no this ain't the

same lady that is that's his girl dude no this lady's from washington yeah they're both from washington moved to arizona whoa no different girl nope that's his girlfriend, dude. No, this lady's from Washington. Yeah, they're both from Washington. Moved to Arizona. Whoa. No, different girl. Nope, that's his girlfriend, dude. No, the girl that sent the video that was excited about me, though. That's not her. Oh, we're not worried about her, dude.

We're talking about her. I still have to start a family, Brendan. Okay? I'm not like you and Chin and freaking everybody else in here except freaking Nugget Bart over there. No, it's Meatball, dude. My bad, buddy. You're doing good. I'm just joking, man.

I love you, Meatball. Chin, are you down for a long haul pass? Not Chin. Nick, you down for a long haul pass? No. We've had a similar discussion. Like, it sounds cool, but I get way jealous. Yeah.

No, no, not me and my girlfriend. Oh, I was going to say. Oh, I thought you and your girl had a long discussion Sounds like she's into it Oh no she wouldn't be down and I wouldn't be down either My girl's way too jealous I don't have a girl but if I did I don't know what I would do

I feel like you're getting that vibe Where Lucy go with the flow Wherever the wind takes me Dude the wind usually takes me over to some cocaine I know that. I know that. I don't know that. Yeah, I know that. So I want to just keep the breeze out of my hair, baby.

That's what I'm trying to do. Oh, look, it's Rob Riggles. Yeah, dude. Hey, King in the Sting. Sitting here in the ER with a 103.1 temperature. I was British. Getting that drip, drip hitter. Dang.

Looking like some infected kidney stones, they think. Oof. Waiting on CT scan results. I kind of thought of like a would you rather type question for you guys. Is he sleeping? So the doc is telling me. He's on drugs. It's infected kidney stones,

they have to manually extract them right away, which would entail going up through the pee hole. Oh, you gotta do it. So it kind of got me thinking. Hire a magician. If I had to be awake for that procedure and only get like a local

and had to watch it, would you guys rather watch them take out infected kidney stones through your urethra or watch yourself with only a local anesthetic get circumcised? Gang, gang. ER buzz buzz. Yeah, he's ER buzz. This fella's on cop drugs.

Yeah, he's on that fucking codeine or something, huh? Oh, yeah, he's on cop. He's on that scissor. He's on that local fucking cedar scissor. He's on that fucking codeine or something, huh? Oh, yeah, he's on that scissor. He's on that local fucking cedar scissor. He's on that weenie lean. This dude's on cock drugs, man. I wouldn't make a video if I'm high on cock drugs.

Nah, me neither, man. His eyes are barely open. This dude's about to go digging down his own wiener hole. He's about to get a bunch of Filipino nurses right up his dick hole. That's what's happening, man. Dude, this is where you hire David Blaine. I would just have somebody magically take that shit out, you know?

Sure, you're going to lose your watch, but who cares? Yeah, it's worth it. Yeah, it's worth it, man. But good luck to you, dude. Good luck, man. And no RIP, man. I heard passing those kidney stones

is the worst pain of all time. Really? You ever seen them? Yeah, they're like little spikes, like porcupines going through your fucking pee hole. My brother had to do it. So it was like

the worst pain of his life. God this is also a kid because when he was a child he had ingrown toenails so bad he kept cutting kept cutting finally they had to tear his toenails off so that to take a needle inject underneath the toenail and then rip it out so they don't have toenails on his big toe. Your brother? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's like two thumbs. It's like two hairless thumbs. Oh, my God. And he said that was the worst pain until he had to pass kidney stones.

What's next for him, huh? Something bad will happen to him probably, unfortunately. Hopefully not. Hopefully, maybe right now you can even hear those ambos, man. R.I.P. That might be the dick guy. Big J. And here's a guy right here, dude.

Here's Crow Cop. We'll close it out with the debate club. Here's John Goodman. What's up, guys? It's Kyle from St. Louis. What's up, Kyle? I got a debate club for you guys. It's one of my worst fears ever.

Look, what if you got a shit really bad and you're flying home? I mean, it's coming out. You're like, do I pull over on the side of the road and shit or hit the subway? You're trying to make it home. All of a sudden, the cherries come on. You're getting pulled over. What the fuck? So do you just pull over and shit your pants? Or do you fucking just take them on high speed

and do the dash all the way home? I think I'm doing the high speed, hopping out with their hands up. I got a shit, I swear. It might tase you and you'll shit your pants anyway. I don't know. Buzz, buzz, gang, gang. Well, first of all, you have an empty van. You could easily defecate in the rear of that van.

And you could wash that thing out of the car. I'll watch my mom as the same van. And so there's nothing in the back. It's just metal. Yeah, doing shit on that metal, dog. Yeah. When I was a metal, dog. Yeah. When I was a kid, by kid I mean 16, I shit in a Slurpee cup.

It was pouring rain outside and I had to shit. Me and my brother were working, so I went in the back of the U-Haul and shit in a Slurpee cup. Oh, damn. Soft serve, baby. Ugh. Disgusting.

Yeah, my brother threw up. I just like this guy's energy. It was a little vulgar topic But For sure Yeah he seems like a good guy Seems like a guy who doesn't mind You know who loves to shit

Honestly Sounds like a guy who's gonna Shit his pants for sure Yeah And here he is after shit Total 180 man It's amazing how much The colon will hold man

How much bad Juju the colon will hold Here he is After he finally found a place to defecate. And now he wants to show us his tattoos. What is up, garlic parm and Louisiana liquor, a.k.a. Brendan and Theo? I am here for a sink my ink.

As you can tell, I've got a bunch of them. Oh, I like that one. By the way, my name's Ross Joffetti. Good hard scarf he's got, huh? I've got the dead rabbit over here. You know, Gangs of New York. Leonardo DiCaprio, shout out. Best one and the best to ever do it.

We'll move on to the pirate theme. Got the Pittsburgh Pirates P. Got that skull, the blade, ship. Ninja Turtles over here. Hell yeah. Get that case in. And of course. Daughter's birth flower, daughter's name.

Go on to the neck. Damn. Neck's pretty cool. Is that a bat? That's a mirror, right? Pretty good. And then I got a few on my head that you can't really see because of the lettuce growing back here. But one of the other ones, Chicago Bulls.

Wow. I'm not doing so great right now. Looking better. But let's run with us. Go Bulls. Wow. I'm not doing so great right now. Looking better, but let's run with us. Go Bulls. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Thank you for your time. That boy's tatted up.

That dude is tatted up. His first video he sent in, it was two minutes and 40 seconds explaining all the tattoos. I was like, we got to go a little quicker. That's why he has the stopwatch. Oh. I love that. Thank you, Nick, for doing that. Yeah, thank you for saying that.

Look, you seem like a nice guy and you seem like you like art and he just wants to commentate on his tattoos uh yeah sink his ink that shit is lit man you get that neck tattoo daddy if you're not in entertainment is that but this guy i think is a good judge of how tattoos look on him it seems like his vibe it all kind of fits some people you see him you're like oh that's insane it just doesn't work and they can't do anything about it

but I like this for a white guy with tattoos I really dig that man I think that guy's doing well you only have the one tat on the lower back, the tramp stamp? I don't have any. I thought you had a tramp stamp. Nope.

You don't have a tramp stamp? No, I got two straps. That's it. That's it, man. Did anybody else think you had a tramp stamp? No. Really? No.

How the fuck have you made it through life with no tattoos? Look at him. Meatball, you have any tats? You got any ink? I got uh Three What is it? Let it sink your fucking ink

I got uh Go stand in between them Yeah Yeah what is it Meatball? Meatball You freaking little Stand in between them? Yeah you gotta get behind one of them

Cause the only way the camera can see. I got a Mac Miller tattoo when he died. Oh, yeah. Oh, damn. Daddy, you trying to get that fucking... I got my great grandmother. She's 98 years old. I got her favorite.

Say her name. My great grandmother. Her name's Claire. I got her favorite. And say her name. My great grandmother. Her name's Claire. I got this tattoo. It's her favorite set of rosy beads. She's still alive, though? Yeah, still kicking. You think we could shave down that armpit here, though?

What, you shave your whole body? Not my whole body, but I'll trim the armpits there, my man. Dude, are you enrolling in the Army? What's going on here? Get in the military, dude. This whole get up, dude. You look like a military man. Can we be finished?

Get in the military. Get in the military, kid. They can put you on drones and fly you around, man. You could drive the drones like Star Wars, like the Ewoks, dog. Yeah, dude. You look like a fucking future POW, bro. So figure it out. Yeah, dude. You look like a fucking future POW, bro. Okay? So figure it out.

Okay. Get out. Meatball! Oh, God. Meatball! God. That's it. That's Magus Vines.

Oh, yeah. There you go, dude. What a way to close it out. Meatball took his shirt off. Magus, a little five-year-old. Five-year-old goes Maga right there. You got to close it out. Meatball took his shirt off. MAGA's little five-year-old MAGA right there. You got to love it, though. I should have worn the BLM shirt here, too.

God damn. What'd you say? I should have worn that BLM shirt here, too. I know, man. I should just get BLM tattooed on my neck or my face or something. That's not going to do it to your face. What else do we have, man? That's it.

That's it, doggy. I'm in Oklahoma, June.une what is it chin june 10th through the 12th or some shit like that oklahoma city brixton comedy club we got a bunch more dates june 10th to 12th yeah i called it june 10th through the 12th bricks brixton comedy club in oklahoma city we got a bunch more dates hitting the hitting the site because uh shit's opening up yeah so i'm like the Rat Cam. I'm going to start doing more touring. Dang.

Well, I'm not touring just yet, but I will be. I'll be in St. Louis and Cincinnati, Charlotte, Durham. I got a tour kind of popping off later this year. So Chattanooga, Knoxville, Wilmington, Wilkes Bar, Minneapolis, Baltimore, Richmond, Charleston, Albany, Buffalo, and Columbus. You're all over, Daddy. Daddy's in theaters now, too. Well, it's just, you know, I'm going to be in there, and I'm excited about it.

So thanks for the support. TheoVon.com slash tour. Get you some. Maybe we'll have to do some shows together, maybe. Let's do it, brother. That'd be fun. New Thick Boy merch drops tonight, Friday. Well, this drops on Thursday, but tomorrow, ThickBoy.com.

Thick Boy fucking season. I'll see you in the fucking ring, Tiger. Well, this drops on Thursday, but tomorrow, thickboy.com. Thick boy fucking season. I'll see you in the fucking ring, Tiger. Oh, all right. Sorry. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go.

I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous. damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto, seeing red like Andrew Santino, every song I hit like the great Bambino, Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos, but everything's gonna be fine, hate on me, I do not mind, Dio looking

like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times, they sliding into my DMs, a couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brennan's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up?

King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Me sting, rat king King and the sting King and the sting, king and the sting, bee sting rat king. King and the sting, king and the sting, got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string. King and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, bee sting rat king. King and the sting, king and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in a trap

Got the cheese on a string