The Golden Hour - Episode 124: Miami Vices

Episode Date: June 4, 2021

Steebee Weebee is back in the Culture Corner and the guys go through Steebee's female suitor submissions and talk Theo's budget funeral trip, high school mustaches, Brendan receiving his black belt in Jiu Jitsu and doing Steebee Weebee's podcast and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.com    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. You don't see it a lot. You don't see good parenting anymore. You especially don't see it amongst Asians.

Usually you get punched in the face. Well, there's another. Somebody beat up an Asian again yesterday. It's all New York. What? It's only in New York. Come on, man. Really?

And I don't know. It's black guys hitting Asian women, apparently, somewhere in the streets. And I hate to say that, and I hate to bring it up, man. It just breaks my heart. It used to be a big genre in porno. Well, you know what? I would like to see more ninja men come back. Oh, yeah.

And start protecting their own. Yeah. Yeah. They know martial art. Oh, dude. Yeah, they know Marshall Mathers. All you need is a Japanese dude hyped up on some M&M who's down to freaking kick some ass. Who's the fireball kid?

Taka Nari Gomi, man. He's older, though, man. What if you run into a guy like that? He's not out there that much. The fireball kid. Fireball kid. Good call, man. Pride.

When's the last time you saw a koozie, daddy? Huh? A koozie, dog. Oh, dude, I've been living in Tennessee, the last time you saw a koozie, daddy? Huh? A koozie, dog. Oh, dude, I've been living in Tennessee, bro. I see a koozie at every meal. Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't gotten out much. Koozies are the thing, I guess.

I saw someone put their baby into a koozie. That makes sense, man. So, yeah, but no, I love it. I love that you got that. Oh, you got thick boy ones, huh? Brian Johnson. I just found it. Brian Johnson made these?

Yeah. He made one for you, too, I think. With the coffee or the cup? He made the cup. The koozie. This koozie. That's that redneck sweater. And I got you this, too, man.

Stevie, I know. Oh, shit. I got some fucking. Official merch, dog. Oh, there you go. I've had that for about a year now. Fuck, yeah. That's that.

That's that header, baby. Thank you, dude. Hell, yeah. It's a medium. I don't want you getting a year now. Fuck yeah. That's that. That's that header, baby. Thank you, dude. Hell yeah. It's a medium. I don't want you getting lost in there. No, no, no. This is my sunrise. Thank you.

We don't want any foul play with that black ass either in that hoodie. That's not what it's for. You don't have to bring that up again. I don't have to bring that up. I'm trying to help you. You're not helping me. How are you helping me? I don't want your merch to take a hit.

How about Black Belt? Because he talked about it on my podcast. Yeah, I did. He said it would be a great game. What did you say, Nick? a hit. How about Black Belt? Because he talked about it on my podcast. Yeah, I did. He said it'd be a great date. What'd you say, Nick? I said, how about Black Belt? Black Belt. Well, Brendan likes to throw people under the black bus.

He said it'd be a great date night. I'm sorry, the black butt. And you said animal style In-N-Out burger. Sorry. Oh, I saw that movie, by the way. Which one? The Gin. Oh, it's good, right?

It was a fucking scary movie. I know my movies, dog. Have you seen this shit? I don't watch a lot of movies that have alcohol in the title. No, it's D-J-I-N-N. Like a genie in the bottle. D-J-I-N-N. It's a little mixed Korean kid.

Yeah. He's haunted. Yeah, he gets haunted. He finds this satanic, demonic book in his closet. 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, dude. Yeah. But that's... Who's... Like, what is it? Well, because he's deaf tomatoes yeah dude yeah but that's who's like what is it well because he's deaf too right he's deaf he's a no he's a mute he's not deaf he can't

hear he could hear he can't talk maybe nobody taught him how to talk did they teach him how to talk do you know any of his backstory they weren't doing the backstory that's what i said well that'll ruin the story if i tell you spoiler do not tell me that yeah and you watch cruella theo i watched so i didn't see cruella i'm doing the build-up i'm watching like the original cartoon looking through like some drawings and stuff online and then i'm gonna get into the um actual thing the new deal yeah i don't like to go straight it all the way there you want some backstory what are you doing you all right yeah yeah i'm just i'm just prepping i'm prepping what's going on here who's that what's going on now hold on didn't didn't you go to a funeral you look like you're having a little too much fun at a funeral i didn't

like how you were on ig just blasting out there like it was a reunion like a high school reunion some shit dog dude it was a kind of a it was like a grade school reunion yeah i was at a funeral who passed away this guy this kid i grew up with named Will the Thrill Myers. What happened? Overdosed. He overdosed. Looking too much for a thrill, it sounds like. Yeah, a little too much thrill one day and too little will one day. A little less thrill, my man.

That was kind of heavy. And also, man, if you're going to, you know, and RIP, man, it was wild. Was he a close friend or you guys just like drew on each other's backs in grade school? He was a close friend, man. We were there the first time somebody ejaculated we ever saw. Some kid did it in front of us. He jacked off? He didn't.

Some other kid did. That should probably be big thrill, Will. No, Will. We were both there and then the kid did it. What grade were you in? Seventh grade. Ooh, what a ballsy move. Yeah.

Yeah. So they invite you to the funeral how's that work out yeah they just they just invite i mean you just you you know you hear about it and then if you want to go you can't it's your hometown yeah god those are sad they have food there they had food after we got food what they have they had some chicken strips they had um some of those sandwiches like i don't want to call them death sandwiches but like those little sandwiches that they have like at the um the little uh triangles like that yeah with the yeah cheese at childhood cheese on them yeah sounds like this funeral was on a budget it was a it was a divine little i don't know how you decide food at a

funeral you know i'm saying i'd probably do whatever Big Will Thrill wanted. You know what? Maybe he wants some Sloppy Joes. My friend died. I'm sorry that they don't have the best menu there. Yeah, dude. Come on, man. You're the only one who rolls in to a...

And criticize the food? Yeah. Man, geez. Dang. Quiznos. They got the worst apps here at Grim Reapers. Like, what is your problem, man? Will wouldn't appreciate

this. Oh, yeah. Man, no wonder Will died. He probably wanted to get away from this food. Brendan's going to give a Yelp review on the fucking funeral. Yeah, unbelievable, man. One-star review on this funeral, man. That macaroni and cheese sucked.

Eulogy? Thumbs up. Dessert choices? Thumbs down. Unbelievable. R.I.P. Will, man. Sorry, you know, it was just, it was a lot. I'm sorry your friend passed away, man.

Funerals are the worst. It was a lot, and it was just a lot to just, I mean, it was everything, you know? It's just like when you get to those moments and it's just like somebody's climbing that stairway to heaven they're out there they just got there before us well wall end up there they're ending up they're going into that big black butt into the feud you know i'm saying that you go into the dark it's easy to sit here and practice but to really get into the lord really make the job you know and you don't inherit what drug was you you know i I don't know. And I don't want to talk out of shop on him. And I don't think I am, man.

No, no. It's all respect. Yeah. It's like everybody struggles, man. And now I was right there feeling fitted up. You're looking sharp, man. Thank you. Do you think?

Yeah, look at that. It looks like a reboot for a bad cop. Straight from the 80s. Bad cop. What are you talking about? It looks like Miami Vice reboot. It looks like they just got a rehab. Oh, yeah, man.

You both are celebrating it out of rehab. Nice jacket, man. Tango and bash. Look at that jacket, man. Looks like Miami Vices. Yeah, baby. And is that the grade school ladies' man, Scott Sashfield?

That's the grade school ladies' man. This guy got all the ladies, dude. Look at him. I used to have to run notes from him to all the girls and stuff. Oh, he's a real player, huh? Sometimes I would read them and pretend they were from me and then run them to him. Now, I have a thing here. And sometimes, I'm going to be honest, I would check no on him and run him back to the girls.

Yeah, tight move. He's handsome, dude. Tight move. Yeah. Tight move. Don't leave me hanging like that. And he looks like Ted Cruz as well. A little looks like Ted Cruz.

Now, all the guys who were ladies' men in high school. Oh, he's handsome. Look at that face. It kind of father time catches up with them. Hold on, Bubba. Hey, this isn't your dating segment, Bubba. No, I know, but you know. No, he's taken., you gotta give it up.

He's a handsome man. Is he? Yeah, look at him. But most of the guys that were really ladies' men crushing high school, it doesn't work out for them later down life. You know what? Good point. Good point.

That was their time to crush. You think? Who was the guy in your grade that crushed? I forget his name, but he was this new kid. You don't forget his name. If you forget his name, then you don't know him, Brendan. No, he was crushing. I remember he had a Mitsubishi Eclipse, and every girl wanted him.

He had a mustache. I was like, God damn, Daddy, slow down. He had a full-grown man mustache? Yeah, full mustache, wore a wife beard. All the girls wanted his dick. Homecoming King and everything? Oh, yeah. Wanted it all.

People used to come with this one fella named Bertrand was his name, and they call him Bert, and they One at all. People used to come with this one fella named Bertrand was his name. And they call him Bert. And they call him Bert. And also, he would get milk stuck in his mustache. Nobody else could do it. And people would come from all over to see it. A mustache in high school? I mean, you might as well have a fucking Rolex.

It's just the ultimate power move, dude. God damn. God. Oh, I got my black belt. So you tell that big fucking gene over in Nashville I'm coming for a neck. Huh? Yeah, tell that big bitch what's up now. Daddy got a black belt. You got a black belt, dude? But is it any

match for Stevie's black butt? No. Belt versus butt. And first of all, you beat these two dudes, bro. Oh, congratulations, man. No judgment, but. Brandon, you got a black belt? Yeah. Oh, good job. I'm joking, man.

Congratulations, bro. That's a big deal, dude. Yeah, it's tough to get. Yeah. You got it. 14 years. 14 years? Why does it take so long?

It's not like karate. The average is 10 years. No, karate can get in a year. Those don't count. Yeah, those don't count. Congratulations, man. Who gave, who, who? Amal Easton.

He's a Henzo Gracie black belt. Some Brazilian guy. Yeah. It's a big deal when you get a Henzo Gracie black belt. So do you have to learn different, like, American? Do you have to learn all the submissions? Yeah, all of it. They roll with all the black belts for like an hour.

Was it hard? Yeah, it was hard. No. Was there some dudes you couldn't beat? I can carry my own. I'm not going to hate it. Yeah, they're monsters. They're good.

Really? Yeah. Is it like wrestling, like jiu-jitsu? No, you start either on guard Or in somebody's guard Oh okay I wish we started from the feet Yeah

You don't get What's the one where you get The little spoke The little spoke What do you mean? Now they took When you get your black belt They take and they slap you

With the black belt Well in the face And it fucking hurt And all my sweaty back Oh God that's like that movie Amistad Yeah that's exactly what I thought.

I didn't enjoy it. You got to be a big guy to do the jiu-jitsu, though, right? No, it's for small guys, actually. So I could take a class? Yeah, hell yeah. It's made for small guys. Other weight classes, like in wrestling, like 100 pounds. If you compete, but I don't think you're trying to win gold here, my man.

No pressure him into it. No, he's the one that wants to do it. I'm trying to tell him it's for him. No, I don't know much about it. No, you're doing fine I'm just trying to learn. No pressure him into it. No, he's the one that wants to do it. I'm trying to tell him it's for him. No, no, I don't know much about it. No, you're doing fine, Stevie. Okay, Brendan. You know, I went on Stevie's podcast. He saw where I lived.

I went to his house. Oh, yeah. He saw where I lived. And was his caretaker there? What's that guy's name, Norman? No, there's some new girl there. What? There's some new producer.

Nice young lady. Yeah, I have a new intern, yeah. Nice young lady. Yeah. Intern? These days? Play Smelthorn. Yeah, the intern, yeah Nice young lady Yeah Intern? These days? Yeah, the intern, yeah Play Smelt Forn

That doesn't Yeah Oh yeah, I lit Palo Santo sticks before he came You did? Oh yeah Oh my god, who did he fight? I thought I was gonna get cold And what's he from?

Who? Is that for you? Who's Palo Santo? No, Palo Santo's a type of It's like an incense wood You light it up And what would that smell? Did you like it?

It was cool. Oh, I thought you meant like, oh, I'm thinking of Gilbert Burns. No, it's not. Oh, no, no. He didn't burn Gilbert Burns. No. No, it's a type of incense wood. Gilbert Burns, Palo Costa, Tiago Santos.

Yeah. I'm like, what kind of? It's like incense wood. I'm like, holy Stevie. It did smell like a Portuguese in there, though. I'll give you that. Only beautiful Stevie buys the UFC men scented candles. Only the Brazilian men.

What did you think about my apartment, man? It was cool, man. No, be honest. Break it down. I really did. It was cool. It has a bunch of cool shit on the wall. No, it was cool.

I love it. No, I love it. No, it's cozy. Yep. It's like a senior care center kind of arts and crafts. Yeah. It's like a lot of anime on the wall A lot of anime

A couple kitchenettes I love that It did give off that black butt vibe Like I could smell the rubber in the room Where the rubber meets the room That's the title of this episode And look man, I'm just glad you're back I'm glad to see you healthy and doing well

I'm doing good man I'm doing good And Brendan Don't try to get him involved In a bunch of stuff He's the one That I want to sign up for Dude you know Bob He's gone for six months

Shooting a movie In Hungary I'm not surprised Yeah see he was there I look 900 pounds So that's cool You're a big boy I know

I don't realize Until I see myself I just feel like I'm small And then I see that And it ruins my day So that's cool Brendan you're talking to a ninth degree black butt

over there. That might be the title. You're making me self-conscious, man. I'm going to get rid of it now. I wouldn't do that. Should I throw it away, dude? No.

No, because I need to grow. You know what I mean? Well, that's why we brought you on here. We have some little Philly doves who are into that black butt stuff. Now it's legendary. You should raffle it.

You know, make cats fans. You sign it. Should I raffle it? Yeah. It's got wear and tear though. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I think you-

Does that raise the value though? Yeah. I think in some circles, bro, especially honestly, and I'm not going to be- Be honest though. Oh, I'll be very- I could take it.

Okay. Go ahead. In Asian circles, that raises the value. And Chin, let's go to Chin here. No, I agree. Before Chin chimes in. Sure.

And I know we want a real Asian guy's opinion here. We do. But you can't go to China and buy used underwear in a vending machine. Japan. That's a good point. You can buy pieces of Chinese people on a fucking, with a VPN. Dark web. On the web.

How much do you think I can sell it? Ari Maness can get those for you easily, dude. I can get a G off that. Totally, highly illegal. Oh, you make a grand off that butt? Off that butt? Really? Ari Maness can get those for you easily, dude. I can get a G off that. Totally, highly illegal. Oh, you make a grand off that butt? Off that butt? Really? Yeah.

A used butt like that goes for a lot of money. Maybe loop it up? Let's go to the captain himself, dude. Chin, how should he market this black butt? Chin, how do you sell them, though? Yeah. To the Asian market or what? The Asian eBay.

The Asian eBay. The eBay. After learning about all this OnlyFans stuff, you can actually probably sell it for a good amount of money. And you're out here a known person. This is my selling point because I've only used the vagina part. The butthole has not been touched. Don't say butthole.

Nobody's believing that. You can say b-hole or something like that. Are you buying that? You don't think he's ever pressed around the butt? The anal area has not been touched. Don't say butthole. You can say the back area. The back area has not been touched.

The back end is untouched. And I'm not buying that, but I like it. It's pristine, man. I'm not buying that, but it's fine. It's clean. Guys, can we quit talking about it? Okay, sorry. I feel like we've kind of discussed it enough.

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them long locks out the back go to keeps.com slash cats to receive your first month free of treatment that's keeps.com slash cats to get your first month free keeps.com slash cats brendan your uh your showtime brother jake paul sent in a message for us gearing up for his big fight. Oh, geez, that is here. That's this fight this weekend, man. I got to go down there on Thursday. You're going, huh? Who's he fighting?

Jake Paul's fighting Woodley. That's in August. But Logan Paul's fighting Floyd Mayweather this weekend. Do you think that's a real fight? Which one? The Floyd versus Logan. Yes. Yes.

It's real. It's not for entertainment. That one time Floyd fought Tension or whatever in Japan. The kickboxer. And he knocked him in the fucking... That I thought was kind of... Yeah. It seemed like...

Me and Chen call bullshit. Yeah, we call bullshit. But it's like people think the Ben Askren and Jake Paul fight was fake, so that's insane. You ever been hit with a fucking punch? But it was technically fixed in the sense that Ben Askren had no intention of trying to win, I feel like. He still got knocked out for reals, though. It's not a wrestling match either.

He didn't want to get knocked out. Yeah, he needs to strike. He just got knocked out. But if you have no plan to not get knocked out, you'll probably get knocked out. Is that probably true against somebody that's fighting? He was just looking for payday. And Jake was not. Jake was there to fight.

Yeah, but you know, Ben was looking for a takedown, right? He's looking to wrestle, right? Yeah, but it's a boxing match, right? Yeah, but he knew in advance he couldn't. Let's stick to black butts. So anyways. He wrestled at Bowie. Jake versus Woodley. To me, it's a boxing match right he knew in advance you couldn't let's stick to black butts so anyways uh jake versus woodley's uh to me that's a legit talk to him like that i want to apologize i want to apologize i'm sorry no i know your family history i want to apologize i know you guys have been through a lot of nails dead i didn't know it was a boxing match sorry

yes boxing no yeah but now if it was MMA, yeah, Jake would get tooled. He would get taken down. Still don't even... Let's see what Jake has to say about it. All right, sorry. I'm sorry. What's up, Brendan? What's up, Theo?

It's your boy, Jake. I told you I wasn't playing around, baby. Signed a showtime. First up, T. Woods. Gonna give him that aspirin treatment. That face down, ass up. Same shit, different day. Predicting third round knockout.

He ain't quick enough and big enough to take these hands. I might have to... He comes out, I might have to throw him in that hard scarf. Shit, who knows? Praise God. But out here getting some of that cross training. Sweating my ass off. Wow.

What was that, Floyd? Yeah, yeah, no. No no no problem sir i gotta get back anytime i've seen above ground pool they used to have a lot of men in our area would meet up they had an abandoned above ground pool people said it was haunted oh yeah and a lot of men would meet up in there and put chairs like uh he's in a motor home park too as well would put um what are those chairs you that like the lawn chairs yes lawn chairs in there and they'd sit in there and smoke dope what a good time yeah wow i'd do that right it was like a nightclub kind of but in like in your yard huh oh yeah yeah a lot of dark shit goes down there dog i would do that right now with everybody

in here we should get a above-ground pool with launches. I would. I don't know if we have any room in here. We just put this thing in here. Maybe the other room. I'm impressed by him. He's confident. He's confident.

Man, look, I'm going to say this. Woodley goes with those big strike hands. I think he can see that kind of stuff coming. That's what I just think, man. You think Woodley beats him? You know Woodley's a slight underdog. No, I don't think so. Woodley's what I just think, man. You think Woodley beats him? You know Woodley's a slight underdog. No, I don't think so. Woodley's a slight underdog. What? He's got more experience than this guy, right?

As a UFC fighter. Woodley hasn't won a round in 20 rounds. He's also mainly a wrestler too, though. Woodley can strike. Woodley's wild card boxing trained. Woodley's the real deal. It's a good fight. That's a good fight. Can he box or does he just have those Ngannou freaking ball busters?

He can box. He can box. And I'm not – I mean, the guy obviously will beat all of us. He would probably have you for lunch. I'm not disputing that. And I think it would be a nice deal. He's a big boy, though. He looks like your size.

Jake? No, he's not my size. Okay. Yeah. That was actually how Jake finished his video. He said, debate club, me or T-Wood. We had Fake Paul calling, our buddy. Fake Paul dog.

I'm saying, I'm going to say Jake. Stevie? I don't know. See, I don't know much about that guy. Nick, who you got? You're educated. I think I'm on Jake Paul now. Woodley's only.

It sucks, dude, but I think mentally, Woodley's just not there anymore. Fair. Yeah. And I think it's Jake Paul by decision, though. That's what I think I'm on Jake Paul now. Woodley's the only... It sucks, dude, but I think mentally Woodley's just not there anymore. And I think it's Jake Paul by decision, though. That's what I think. How many rounds does it go? How many rounds do they allow? It'll be eight rounds. I don't know if Woodley's going to go eight rounds. Me ball?

I'm going Woodley all the way. Oh, wow. Yeah. When I first found out about the fights, I just went down the rabbit hole and started watching all of his striking clips. See, but you watched the old Woodley clips when he fought some of those older dudes. And he has leg kicks in the threat of a takedown in all the clips you watched. No, there was no leg kicks in them.

They were all just mainly boxing. He has that overhead left, Southpaw. Yeah. But that's also an older Woodley. Those are old videos you're watching. You know, it's tough to just know what makes him have a lot of desire. desire a nice guy awesome because it doesn't look like he wants to be in there anymore oh i find this fascinating because it's a it's who knows what's gonna happen yeah but remember we got that we got on this same train with the other one when the man was fighting yeah i didn't think

i was gonna go down like that i think that would like you know where the beef that would we had with uh jake paul's uh jake paul's friend corner man yeah corner man he's a legit boxer i think I think that Woodley Like you know Where the beef That Woodley had With Jake Paul's Jake Paul's friend Corner man Yeah corner man He's a legit boxer I think it's gonna be You know how Floyd

And Logan are Like everyone thinks That Floyd's gonna Go after Logan harder About the whole Gotcha happening I think the same Mentality is running

Through Woodley's head Like cause he was Disrespected by his Corner man yeah That's fair Well So a couple of weeks ago, we,

uh, last time Stevie was in here, we just started talking about his dating life and that we think he needs to remember that. Me too. We think he needs to put himself out there more. And some people just picked up the whisper and they started setting themselves in and smell my breath,

man. Well, Stevie, that's a, there's a lot of things going on with me. You've seen where I live. There's a lot of things. There's poo going on right here.

Yeah, we got to fix that. You can easily take some ginger pills. Not if it's halitosis. Yeah. You have halitosis? But hey, I'll go along with it. I'll just go along with what you're going to do. Look at this baddie, dude.

And also, don't shit on the apartment, man. The apartment's a nice time. Thank you very much, dude. Yeah, but I don't have a car, dude. You have a caretaker. There's Uber. Take her to In-N-Out Burger. Hell yeah. Now we talking, daddy. You can't be ashamed of what's going on in your life man if you love in and out that

much going along with it so what's going on here what's going on now we i think we discussed you're actively interested in finding someone right not really but i'm just going along with it let's see if it's it's entertaining, right? I mean, but these are... Yeah, but what happened? Look at this little dime piece, man. You want to have her over the apartment looking at anime? Yeah, but she doesn't know what's going on right here, man.

There's things going on down here, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Erectile dysfunction. No, just, you know, it gets dry, you know? The nuts get dry. Dry. I don't know what that means. What's a few?

Everyone's just popped. What does that mean? Even the people in that room just pops. Who's nuts get dry? How old are you? Dry nuts, baby. Are you 200 years old? Dry nuts.

Dry nuts, baby. What's that mean? I'm sorry. Do you want me to show you after? We'll go in the bathroom. I'll put my pants down. I'll look the other way. You got dandruff on your nuts?

Why don't we show them what's going on down here, and I guarantee you no submissions. Let's not, but how? You want to show me? Okay. You're not doing yourself

any favors. I know, but I'm just being honest with the whole scenario. It's okay if you want to show us, but you have to show us from behind. I don't want to see Wieners

so you have to face that way. Bulldog style. That camera will blur up. Yeah, bulldog style. Show that camera. I'm not showing the nuts. No, I don't want it. I know what editorial.

Let's just go on with it. Let's go on with this. I'm with Theo, though. I don't see trunk either. You got to bulldog your nuts out the back. No, it's okay. We'll do it afterwards. All right.

We'll take your word for it. Theo, we'll do it afterwards. We won't do it afterwards. Yeah, no, we won't. That's weird. When the cameras are off. You agreed with him at first. No, no, no.

I'll just bring it. We'll just go into the bathroom. Come on. It's a bro thing. Huh? It's a bro thing. We'll just go into the bathroom. Come on, it's a bro thing. It's a bro thing. We're all pros here, man. Let me have a say in how I want to experience it. I want to show you.

We'll all go in there and we'll go into a stall and I'll go see guys. Are they like flaky? It gets dry. It's really easy for you to just turn around and show them a little bit from behind. I know the editorial. I just don't want to show them. Why don't you low trust Kimmy's freaking chin? Chin's not going to let you down.

I'm walking his big nutsack out right now. Okay, hold up. Let's take it to the Korean side. You know what ojenga is? Ojenga. Ojenga? Ojenga, yeah. Tell them what that is.

It's like dried squid. It's like squid jerky? Squid jerky, yeah. It's delicious. It's delicious. And that's all I'll say. But it looks really ashy. It's super dry and ashy. And It's squid turkey, yeah. It's delicious. It's delicious. And that's all I'll say. But it looks really ashy. It's super dry and ashy.

And that's all I'll say. You got Dan just fucking up. It's dry. It's dry, yeah. So, go. Let's do the dating, guys. Let's lotion this boy's up, man. He's not selling himself.

I just prepped myself for it. Let's go. No, it sounds like you're really going to meet a great lady. Let's tell them about that after. Okay? Thank you. Some people will put up with that. Nick just showed you.

Yeah, go in closer. It's actually ashy. There's like ash on there. See what I'm talking about? If they want that on a date, they'll get it. Okay? They'll get that. Reminds me of this fella I knew named Boo Boo Tyson growing up. What happened to him?

His leg got burnt up in a garage fire. You look like Freddy Krueger. So they say this is a question. You look like Freddy Krueger. No, he managed it well. It was all merged together. Bone, muscle, tendon. What's going on right there?

Now you're looking at me a little differently. There's something going on right there. I'm worried about your nutsack. I'm not worried about any of that, man. I just want you to find love, man. I want you to find a future that you can enjoy. Now let's see if we can find any. Look, man, a lot of times something will come back and get you.

Is that karma? It is karma, yeah. We had a girl at our school named Karma Wilson. Ooh, dime. Struggle city. That's fine. I think she was a healthy nickel, man, when I met her. We were children also, so I mean, I only knew her when she was 11.

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Allbirds.com What do you got there what do you got cute what's up theo brendan nick chappelle cat chin all of you in the studio there's so many that's enough um i am submitting for a date with stevie weeby my name is mandy i'm 29 and i live in california i'm still a few hours away from you guys so i'm sorry you still have to pay for a flight but i do have a few reasons why i think I would be a good fit I also got out of a relationship not too long ago probably within the same time frame as you Stevie so you know we could talk about our feelings have a good you know cry about it like Japanese women the second reason why is I

don't have a relationship with my dad so he can't up. Also, I am not Asian as far as I know, but my mom looks very Filipina. So, you know, I might have a little bit of Asian in me somewhere. And I could probably get some more Asian in me as well. That's it, guys. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Gang, gang. That's beautiful.

Seems nice. What'd you say? But she don't know about the squid nuts and the fucking poo breath. Do you guys submit that to her? We got to hear this last line. What'd she end with? I might have a little bit of Asian in me somewhere and I could probably get some more Asian in me as well.

That's it, guys. There you go, Steve. I'm a looking, I'm a liking for you. I don't know. I need time to absorb that. Seems fun. She seems fun for sure. I don't know if this is like the wife material.

Really? She wants some of that squid jerky, daddy? You think so? Yeah. She wants some of that. She wants some of that eel sauce, papa. You think so? She wants some of that skin graft urchin, dog.

Yeah, dog. You're suitor number two. This is a little older cat. And this is Michael Jackson's son. Hey, easy there. Let's give everyone a chance. Easy. Don't do no Michael Jackson.

Hold on. Give everyone a chance? You already said nobody has a chance after we spent two weeks getting a great deal of Come on. Give her a chance. Just give everyone a chance. Okay. We are.

I'm sorry. We just expect the same out of you, you know? Okay. I am. I'm just going to be married to this girl her a chance. Just give everyone a chance. Okay, we are. I'm sorry. You just expect the same out of you, you know? Why should we be married to this girl all year? This is Amanda Rose. I'm in Montana. Hi, Stevie Weeby. This video is mainly for you. So a little bit about me.

I'm in Montana. I'm half South Korean and Scottish. Check. I'm a very Korean and Scottish. I'm a very total Scott Korean. Like 6'1". I just think you're super cute, Stevie.

And I watch your guys' show all the time. And I want to let you know I'm single and I want to date you. Wow. What a front. And she's bodied up, dog. What did she say at the end, man? She said she wants to date you. What did she say? And she's bodied up What did she say at the end man? She said she wants to date you

What did she say? She said she wants to put you in her pocket And feel your ashy nuts Easy there Easy So Yeah She's cute man

Dude How tall is she? 6'1 I'm 5'4 Yeah bro Does that mean you know what that can you do the math there she's gonna hit you she's gonna hit you do you know how tall much taller that you're six two six four okay you're six four yeah she's six one you look like a boss dude you look like a badass yes now chin can you help out yeah you look like boss. I just don't understand why there's so much like people aren't like.

I don't like your attitude, Stevie. I'm being honest, dude. I'm being honest. Look at her. She's gorgeous, dog. Look at that breast, man. We're throwing you dimes here. Dude, I'm 5'4".

Oh, darn. What are we doing, Stevie? I'm saying do you guys have a ladder? I have to climb up a ladder. You know what I Stevie? I'm saying, do you guys have a ladder? Get them street nuts out. I have to climb up a ladder, you know what I mean? Then ladder up, you weak bastard. Yeah, dog. Koala climb?

Yeah, you could be her little koala. Do that koala climb. Dude, and she's bodied up, dog. Bro, look at that. Look at them cheeks, daddy. She's got ink, too, huh? Yeah. Montana mommy.

Oh, jeez, Louise. That Yellowstone Mama. I don't know what I don't... She has a freaking Mayflower on her arm. Can we zoom in on that? Oh, Lord. Bro, that means your ship... This is wifey, Doug. Your ship has come in, Daddy.

You think so? Is that the mothership? Huh? Is that the mothership? Yeah, you're Jack Sparrow. Dude, the dude... That's Jack Squid. Oh, dude.

It's a match made in heaven. She's got octopus. She's got... And he looks dry. It's perfect. made in heaven. She's got octopus. She's got ojingu on her arm. And he looks dry. It's perfect. This is perfect. Stevie, that's a sign. Is that a sign, dude?

That has to be a sign. Hey, take that. Dry nuts. Dry nuts. Squid on her arm. Dry squid. Also, look at that ass. Stay with me here.

I'm with you. I just said, I didn't see this. I said, my nuts are like dry squid. And she's got squid on her arm. Is that a sign or what? Near her elbow, too, where it's usually ashy. But Montana, what am I going to do? You're going to get married.

I don't even know where Montana is. Maybe next week we set up a Zoom call with her and have a meet. Yeah, that's exactly it. I want to know this also excited or do you what's your problem man montana where's that ass i know but where's montana man it's about a two-hour flight from that's not two hours isn't that in the midwest no i've been no my dude straight shot up oh it's up north it's like it's beautiful it's my favorite it's one of my favorite places yeah look at that shit the nina the p Pinta, and the Santo Paulo, dog.

You got this. Can you zoom in on the bathing suit shot, please? You mean that ass, daddy? That Korean ass? Hold up. Let me just take a look. You don't see a lot of Koreans with an ass like that either. Now, she has a bruise, and that's whatever.

That's cool that she shows that. She's got nice skin, man. Yeah. And she's Scott Korean. But that's nice skin, right, guys? That is nice skin. Hmm. What do you think, Brandon?

Home run. Listen, we can't do much better than this. But that's... I like that gold chair, too. You can melt that down and sell that. This guy's introducing his sister? Well, hold on just a second. Wait, wait, wait.

Is this... I don't think we finished. Is this appropriate? I mean, that's his sister. Okay, let's give it a chance. These days, people are doing whatever they can. Yeah. So also, this lady, can we zoom back up to a decent part of the woman so i can i mean that's

jesus christ what kind of place are we running here look stevie that's some nice skin i have to admit she's got nice skin now you said how can we even get to where she lives in montana or have you ever heard of a man called fdr can you bring up a picture of this man yeah and what he did for the interstate highway system trains national parks this guy's looking at me so concerned brendan i'm not concerned this is a home run i feel did all he could here i know you guys i appreciate the effort guys frankly you want me to tell you what this guy did yeah i know you guys probably don't believe in or whatever because he's white, but this guy put in all the interstates, all the train tracks. This guy did?

Yeah. Easily making a way for you to get to someone you want to love today. That's a Ford Fiesta away, isn't it? Yeah. It's a short plane ride or a long drive. Yeah. When you're like, how can we get there? Like it's Lewis and Clark times or something like there's malaria.

She lives in Korea, dude. Montana? That's an easy straight shot. That breath dried nut brush your teeth and take a shower you know let's flea dip him i think he has i think he has let's tar him i think he has halitosis no you don't tar somebody you can't tar a human you can flea dip that can you flea dip human can you look that next little honey bath maybe yeah i mean six two man i don't think i've ever gotten with a woman six one i mean i have never gotten with the woman over fleas flea dip human can you put that can you flea dip humans oh yeah there you go it's flea powder safe for humans there we go there we go but i don't have fleas on me according to you you really are struggling well i. Well, I would say your ashy nuts have

something going on that we need to figure out. And larvae by drying them out, so it could help you. It's toxic to humans. Do you guys want to see it? You want to go to the bathroom and check it out? I'd like to see it here so I don't have to go in a secret location when you see your nuts. Okay. Maybe rub some head and shoulders on your nuts. You know what? Or maybe a Carmex.

That'd work too. Or Vaseline. Vaseline's great. Okay. Just oil them up, dog. Yeah. That'd work too. Or Vaseline. Vaseline's great. Okay, there you go. Just oil them up, dog. That's an easy, dude, this is a home run. I appreciate the effort, you guys. This is really interesting. Dude, that's a home run.

This is really interesting. You're going to look like a boss, seriously. Yeah. With a 6'1 girl. And she's part Korean. And she's a top. Chin, I don't like what you're doing right now because you're playing devil's advocate.

I know what you're doing. And she has a cute smile. Oh, jeez. Nice skin. Devil's advocate with Brad Pitt. Is that with with brad pitt oh no but it's just the same yeah and and she was like the first submitted even before we put it on social media she sent in a submission that she wanted to date you she's a looking she's a like you heard about the breath stuff already you've talked about it many times you're actually not in your shit breath don't scare her uh you can't hear the beginning of it, but he's got a great video.

So he just introduced himself and says he's talking about his sister. Okay, gotcha. My sister, who is a 27-year-old. Well, no, I think she's 28 now. But she has recently split up, dating a douchebag. She's a, I don't know, she's pretty cool. She smokes weed, she'll fist fight. We got some Korean in us, if that matters.

Porter Korean. I know you can't tell by me. Cucos. I'll send some pictures in with her, but I'm telling you right now, this could work. Moose and Stevie. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Call her Moose? You could wrestle those little Conor McGregors right there.

Are those her kids? Maybe. It could be her ex-husband. Yeah, those are her kids? Maybe. It could be her ex-husband. Now, Stevie, do you like bigger women? I've been with them. Yeah, I've had my fair share. Well, that's an 80-pound test on that black bottom. It's like an 80-pound test.

And how much does that thing weigh? It's pretty heavy. It's pretty heavy. Yeah, a couple pounds. If you have to have one person help you lift whatever thing you're like, whatever sex object you're handling or something, then you'll be fine with a real woman. Yeah. And they could start like a tandem podcast, Stevie and Moose.

Ooh. No, the Moose and Stevie. The Moose and Stevie. The Great White North. You could talk about her butt. Yeah. Although, did he say what state he's in? He didn't.

He didn't. She seems real nice Stevie These are three Good variety pack Check out the forehead on this one Looks like Megamind Oh man And just like that

This is what's wrong with this show What's wrong? Tell him Fucking tell him What's wrong here's a problem go ahead that was too much but be honest about it theo be honest this is what's wrong with this show tell him yeah just be honest she got fucking hawk tendon in the back who has fucking 45 minutes of experience okay just rattling off ideas all right you Nick, who is under so much influence of THC, who can barely keep his eyes open

today. That's not true. He wore a bright orange sweatshirt just so we'd know he's here, right? You got Chin, who I don't even think knows that he's here. He said seven words in two years. You have Chin, who will fucking each week reasonably offer nothing to the program. Okay? You have Stevie who is coming here begging.

Looking for love. Looking for love. And we brought it. And we brought it. And we brought you love. I'm being fair, though. And you're shooting us down. No, I'm being fair.

I'm being fair. And you are fucking shooting Cupid in the ass. No, I'm being mindful, guys. I want to look at the, you know. You're teabagging Cupid with your fucking dry nuts, man. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm giving everyone a fair shot.

You are breaking our backs. We're checking out the videos. I know. I appreciate it, guys. Meatball's chiming in, clowning on the contestants. I'm sorry, Meatball. Can we give her a chance? This doesn't meet your standards.

You got Spam Tonsil in the back of the ear. Let's give everyone a chance, man. This fucking pig appendix sitting in the back over here. Just judging all these women. Fucking skunk gonad over here in the distance. I'm going to stick moose on you. How about that, meatball? Nick is just already.

Remember, I was in the studio. I was wearing orange. Yes, we remember. She's got orange hair. Okay. Let's give Margaret a chance. Give her a shot. Look. Give, we remember. She's got orange hair. Let's give Margaret a chance. Give her a shot. Give her a shot.

That's all we want. That's why I'm fixated on the videos, guys. Oh my God. Have I been eating crazy crunch? Have I been eating crazy crunch? No, it's not crazy crunch. This is reality, babe.

Look. Hi, my name's Margaret. I am 27. I'm from San Antonio, Texas. I'm a web designer. I like to cook. I like to bake. I like to do outdoorsy things.

I love animals. Hell yeah. I think Stevie should pick me to go on his date because I don't really know how many options there are going to be out there. Ouch. You know what? I'm down to clowns. Damn. Hit me up, Stevie.

Ronald McDonald, dude. She's ready for it, bro. She wants some of that crazy crunch, bro. She wants some of that crazy crunch, bro. She wants some of that grimace, dog. You feel me? That little purple muppet. She made it seem like it was like a Save-A-Wish foundation. I don't know.

Save-A-Wish. It's Make-A-Wish. I don't know. It is. That one line kind of caught me. No, hold up. Bear with me. You're on a fifth string podcast looking for love.

Hold up. I'm talking to Brendan. Let me tell you, I've done that for almost 200 episodes. It's going to get you nowhere. He's like an alien. I don't know how many people will be open-minded

for this kind of person. We're doing our best. I know, I know. But she made it seem that it was kind of a pain. There's a backhand. But it could be a lot. She might mean a lot.

She's nice. She's nice. He's going through a meditational thing right now. I think Crazy crap, but my wrong Brendan like the way she We're doing this crazy crunch mom are going to work out. Look at this, baby. We're doing this, man. You're single yourself. Come on. This is fun. This is a fun thing. They're all like tatted too, huh? Come on, man.

Give her a shot. Look at that hair, man. What are you talking about? Give her a shot. This is Kesha. Kesha called in. Kesha called in. Give her a shot, dude. Seriously. Do you know how many hours she put getting that hair color? What are you talking about?

This is all for you. I'm giving everyone a fair shot. I'm being mindful. That's what it's called. I'm being mindful. Let's go. Stevie's got a great point. Theo's single, too. Keep your eyes.

That's what I'm saying. That Montana mama, if it don't work out for him. Hey, I'm being mindful. My head's been in the game. I'm in the game, too, brother. Look, I'm fixated on her. I'm listening to everything they're saying. Right i'm the bad guy okay that's fine um i heard you her name's natalie and she's single and ready to mingle so i thought i would tell

you a little bit about myself i am brown hair blue eyes uh six feet tall. My hobbies include going hiking, being outdoors. I love the beach. I just got back. I love Muay Thai. I love weightlifting. Just staying physically fit is a passion of mine. Love to laugh. So if you ever wanted to get together and go on a date sometime, you know who to call.

Girl next door, hit me up. know who to call girl next door. Hit me up. You're not the girl next door, but the thing is, this would be fun. I like her energy, right? Her energy is really positive.

She would be the funniest date. She'd be the funnest date. If you're next door to burning man. Look, first of all, I want to win that natty dude. Natty looks nice. I'll say that.

Yeah. Positive attitude. I guess I'm positive right now. Look, I'm to win that natty, dude. Natty looks nice. I'll say that. Positive attitude. Yeah, I'm positive right now. Look, I'm mindful. He's coming around. Yeah, I give it to him. He's coming around. Is he? But again, I'm 5'4".

What'd she say? Six foot? Six foot flat. We should get CB on Short King's own. Bro, I've never heard such a defeat. Stevie, I want to get you out of this defeatist attitude, man. You're shitting on yourself. Who's the small guy that beat up somebody that was big?

I'm a realist. Where do we start? I'm a realist, man. Sure, but he's fighting other small guys. But yeah, UFC won. The short guys were getting it done. UFC won, dude. Wait, are you bringing it to UFC won?

Meaning short guys can get it done. It's historical. Now, here's the thing. You're 5'4". It's going to be tough to get a lot of submissions under 5'4". It is? Yeah. Why would you say that? Because big queens like 5'4". It is? Yeah. Yeah.

Why would you say that? Because big queens like it. Big queens want you to. Yeah. They want that baby. They want that front side piggyback. Oof. You know?

They want to put you on their back. She seems great. She seems nice. She'd be the funnest date of the bunch. She seems like a nice person. Yeah. You guys could do all these birthing role plays. You could do it all.

But she does seem... I don't want to generalize, she does seem like, you know, like the, not the Burning Man thing, but maybe. A free spirit?

But yeah, because I'm sober, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a little more reserved? She at least looks like, I don't know if I'm generalizing again. No, go ahead.

But maybe she at least smokes pot or? 100%. Yeah. 100%. And maybe a little acid on the side. Yes. And that's fine. Yeah, that's fine.

That's a good time. Let her be that experimental person and you get to be the safeguard. You get to be the, wear the pants in the relationship. Right, right. Did she say where she's located as well? She didn't. She's not. Well, she just got back from the beach.

Seattle, Oregon. Can the producers help with that? Where's she located, guys? She didn't include it, but we told the people. Got back from the beach. We told the people if Stevie agreed, we'd fly her out. Okay. Hopefully she's not in Australia because that's not happening.

I'm not trying to be rude to you, man. I just want you to find, you know, like, I guess I felt at some point that you weren't looking to have somebody, you know? And then when you start going to Brendan for suggestions, I'm not saying that's a bad idea, but it's probably not one of the top ten ideas you could have. Now, there's that, but there's also not one of the top 10 ideas you could have. Now, there's that, but there's also a guy here who's been in successful relationships.

And if you're going to take advice from this one, that's a good point. But he has experience. He has life experience. But it's never worked out. It's ended up...

Yeah, but he's had moments, right? Theo, I'm lonely. Oh, if that's a moment, dude. I've had definitely kind of like, I'm sort of like the Jason Williams of sex and love.

Yeah. How do you meet your gals? We had a knee injury. How do you meet your gals? I meet them through probably DMs or in person. In person kind of these days more a little bit. But I'm not on the apps, you know. And then also, my biggest problem is I'm just not ready.

I get too many hang-ups about commitment. Yeah, I hear you. And I think you have some of those hang-ups. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you can't even commit, obviously, to having, and I'm not judging, but you can't even commit to having fresh breath on a date. And that's not a big thing, I don't think. Unless in y'all's culture.

Is that a big thing in y'all's culture? It is a big thing. What? In our culture? We don't go to the in y'all's culture. Is that a big thing in y'all's culture? It is a big thing. What? In our culture? We don't go to the dentist. That's a problem. The Lee brothers. Ask Bob, too.

Bob doesn't go. I don't go. Bob has shit breath, too. Bob had a tooth taken out through his butt once. Yeah, we just let it fall out. That's so wrong. That's a lot. That's so wrong, but we just let it fall out.

We have three legit ones. Let's go around the room and discuss kind of where we feel like we're at, I feel like. That's it? That's all we have. let's go around the room and discuss kind of where we feel like that's it that's all we have okay that's right great choices and thank you to everybody that sent in somebody i mean people sent in people really thoughtful i mean here's the thing really thoughtful you got to think that a woman or a man out there who have a sister made a video and said hey i'm willing to put myself out there to you goons we are and they know we're gonna roast absolutely and they know we're gonna roast absolutely and they know we're gonna roast them yeah yeah we are seven if you look around this room i see some of the

saddest men that i've ever seen agree it looks like that funeral you went to it does so you there's a couple prospects you said i think montana's number one i think the moose would be a good time and then i think homegirl that was just on, who looks like part of the Manson family, would be one hell of a date. And this is all we got. This is all we got. Those are pretty good, though. Those are pretty fucking good. Better than none, right? It's like Incredibles 2.

Better than none. There was more, right? It was just these are the top three. Yeah, these are the good ones. Let's go around the room and say. I think you guys are just saying that Just to spare my feelings Which is fine

Nick stayed up all night Look at the way he's dressed You can tell me I can live with it Just say there's only five submissions I'd rather know the truth I'd rather know the truth And I can live with it But just tell me were those the only and I can live with it But just tell me

Were those the only five I could live with it It's five more than you had I know That's not my point You're dating a piece of plastic You've been in a five year relationship Say that

I'm glad you said something You know what's going on here I realize why he's single now. He is picky, man. Am I being picky? Those were four dimes, dude. Am I being? Yeah.

That one from Montana is a catch, dude. Is that what's going on? I think so. Your standards are here. Is it like beggars can't be choosers type thing? You got to be willing, bro. Really? Yeah.

I got a little bit of oral the other night in my hometown behind a nail salon. And I'll be honest, but at least I went out there and gave it a shot. And the girl made me buy her an alternator, too. The girl made me pay for a new alternator for a car. At least you could do it. But that's the times we're in, man. You got to at least, at least I got out there. You put yourself out?

Thank you. Yeah. I'm proud of you. Thank you. And beautiful, cool, cool. Low job behind a nail salon. Dude, you're doing it, man. Cool gal, man.

That's not sad in any facet. Montana's great. The girl from Burning Man seems fun. Big Moose seems a good time. She's got some kids, though, huh? Are those her kids? She did have a couple kids. I think he'd be a good dad, Stevie. You're a very kind soul. I mean, I could hardly

take care of myself. That's a lot. You've seen where I live. Whoa! Here we go. Let's just roll this one. Let's keep where I live. I don't. Whoa. Here we go. Is this another? Yeah. Let's just roll this one. Let's keep going, guys. This is fun. I'm rolling them up. I'm rolling them up. This is fun stuff.

I'm really having a good time. It's fun. It's like a video game. Come on. No, this isn't. Give her a shot. This is Renee from Ogden, Utah. I wanted to send my submission for Stevie Weeby to go on a date.

You said all three of us. A couple of things I like to do is hula hoop, be outside. Stevie has an erection. You know, just joking around, being with short Asian dudes. I'm a waitress part-time. I also do adapted PE part-time, which is PE with special needs kids. Yeah. She could have sex with you.

I love to travel, so I'd be down to come to L.A. to go on a date with you, Stevie. Wow. And Mama is. I don't like what you're doing over there because every girl you're like doing a whole bulls... Ooh, like a bullseye thing. Vernon, I'm going to keep talking to him. Stevie, now what are you saying? What are you saying here, Stevie?

You're looking, you're liking? I mean, she's... She's an attractive woman. I can't lie to you. I can't lie to you. Stevie, they've all been attractive women. Yeah, they're all attractive. Some more than others.

Yeah, they are. All of them. Utah's closer than Montana, too. This is more your style Can I tell you something A pro Let's hear some responses Because she's wearing a

Because I like skateboarding And she has a skateboarding Sweatshirt primitive So you know That's cool She's into like You know It's like someone wearing

Like a MMA brand You like That would turn me off Yeah It would turn you off Okay Or yeah Or somebody wearing

Like a GED sweater. Exactly. What do y'all think? She's definitely the prettiest out of the bunch. That's not true. I mean, she's a beautiful girl. She's really pretty. I think they're all, I think, honestly, I think all of them are pretty.

I think all these are home run. Is that Utah, though? Utah? That's close. That's like a Mormon. That's an hour and a half flight, my man. Utah. That's close, isn't like a Mormon. That's an hour and a half flight, my man. Utah. That's close, isn't it?

Mm-hmm. And she said she likes to do MMA with people with autism or whatever. You could easily. So wait, hold up. Are you saying I'm autistic, dude? Huh? Are you saying he's on the spectrum? Dude, what are you saying?

Are you saying I am? Are you saying he's on the spectrum? You said I'm special. What are you saying? I am special needs. Are you saying I'm special needs? And if everybody in this room is, look at where we are. I know, but are you saying I am?

Dude, we're on a podcast based upon a rat and a bee, okay? In a basement. Good point. In freaking Encino, California. We're on the spectrum here. Good point. Good point. I don't know.

Okay, dude. You got some more? Keep going. You got some more? We have a guy named... You got some more? We have a guy named fucking Carrizo Pollop as our newest addition to the

place. Carrizo Pollop. We are at the... This is the bottom of the barrel. No, you guys are doing well.

I've seen your views. We are. Yeah, you guys got good views on YouTube. You guys are doing good.

You guys are doing real good. You know what also has good views on YouTube? That video of trucks that. You guys are doing real good. You know what also has good views on YouTube? That video of trucks that are too tall to go under those bridges. Okay. I watch it. You guys got a great platform.

That has 70 million views. Yeah. You guys are doing great. And some of the videos in there are repeats. They just snuck them in again to keep you open. Different angle. Yeah. This is fun, dude.

Dude, I think we found love. You guys got some more? Yeah. This is fun. Look, I think we got some good options. Chin, what do you see here for your- Two more. Two more. This is fun. Two more Dude, I think we found love. You guys got some more? This is fun. Look, I think we got some good options. Chin, what do you see here for your- Two more, two more. Two more?

Chin, out of the bunch so far, who would you pick as a Stevie? What do you see here for your cousin? I think we have the same top two. I think we have the same top two. Who, Chin? Montana and Utah. Am I right? You know, God damn.

He like, you know. You know what's weird, though? I don't know how tall the last girl is. She looks short. She could be short or she could be tall. She's short. Okay. She's short. God damn He like You know You know what's weird though I don't know how tall The last girl is Cause she looks like She could be She could be short Or she could be tall She's short

Okay She's short So then you know I'm leaning towards you If she was tall She'd tell you She's short Leaning towards you

She looks fit too Yeah You think so She's cute Slender Like a swimmer's body Works out Yeah

She's like A good thick I think Yeah She looks like a good thick What about The TikTok that we put up With Stevie Let's see that works out yeah yep it's like a good thick i think yeah she looks like what about the uh tiktok that we put up with stevie let's see that and we sent this also to a lot of the women just to let them know the type of man you get to have with stevie okay there you go i didn't know you

had this footage i don't know you got you have started acting like you're a catch dude yeah you're selling yourself short you think so i am. I'm just being honest with it, though. This is my thing. It's almost too much. You think so? Brendan, don't tell him that. What? Stevie loves it. I look like an alien. No, you don't, Stevie. I look like an alien

No you don't Stevie I look like a goddamn reptilian Look at me You look like a beautiful skin It's a lost cause It's a freaky lost cause There's no hope There's no hope for me man

Stevie I just got this whole episode man There's no hope for me, man. Steepy. Just cut this whole episode, man. There's no hope. There is. I just saw myself. What? Let's be real. That's the way you look, bro.

I look like an alien. That was edited together. I look like a schizophrenic alien. That didn't happen in real time. Guys, really. That didn't happen in real time. Can I just kill myself after this? No, please don't.

No, this is it. I love you guys. Please don't do it here. No, no, no. No, this is real. And we got to pay that parking guy, too. No, this is it. Not in here, you can't. Yeah, please don't do it in here. No, no, no. Yeah. No, this is real. And we got to pay that parking guy, too. Hold on, hold on. Brendan, Brendan.

I really appreciate what you guys have done. I'm dying today. No, you're not, man. I just really- You're finding love. I had an epiphany. I saw the reality of me. That theme music didn't help.

That theme music did not help. It did not help. I'll give you that. That was adorable. That was Theo's idea. First of all- That was your idea? That was put together by, I'm of all, that was your idea.

That was put together by, I'm not sure someone who could work with us. Uh, but I think it looked, man. I think that captures some of your essence though. And that you are that X file. I think you're a catch. I think you're a catch. And I think you guys start walking a little more. There is no posture.

There is no catch Stevie. We need to love you. Whole episode. Um, and I would like to be in the editing room. And we'll just cut everything out. The beginning was good about the boxing talk. I like that. Just keep that.

We'll just make it a 10-minute episode, guys. Where do you stand looking for love? What do you think here, Nick? And look, go on, Nick. I'm sorry. I just truly believe that we found it in that second submission for Montana. She's the most eager. I really think she is looking for love.

The other ones seem like they're Cats fans, wanted to send a nice video a little bit to me. So she was more real about it. In my humble opinion. I would love to have you two talk. She did seem sweet. I like the first girl that sent in. She seemed sweet.

She seemed very sweet. She seemed possibly Latina. And I think you need... Latina women are very... Love Latinas. Who doesn't? I love them. Okay.

Yeah. But they're very organized. They will fuck you up. They will fuck your friends up. Set your car on fire. Yeah. They will fuck your friends up. Set your car on fire. Yeah, they will set your coche de fuego. You know what I'm saying, bro?

Them bitches are for real, dog. Tell me about it. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, there you go. Real talk, huh? Real talk. Yeah, and so I think you need, I'm just trying to think what you really could use, man. Because at a certain point,

I just don't want you to end up lonely like me. Like Nick. Like Chin. Nick has someone but still is lonely. But we're still alive guys. Like Brendan, but Brendan has a whole family. Or like that kid, the kid we got. You're the only one that's actually with a woman.

Yeah, doing it, kids. I have a girlfriend. So we're all single, right? I mean, I'm married. It's not so bad, right guys? Nick, Chin's married. Chin, are you married? No, I'm not married. But being single's not so bad.

It's not good though at your guys' age. It was fun. I actually loved being single. And Nick, what do these people need to know about dating an Asian person that you can tell us? Because I know your girlfriend is Korean. It's really nice because if their family comes over, they stay for like 15 minutes tops. It's very like... They don't want to bother you.

Yeah. It's nice. They eat. They leave. Don't overstep their boundaries. It's pretty sick. bother yeah yeah you eat they leave don't overstep their boundaries pretty sick um i don't i don't know if all korean dads cut or asian dads cut hair but my girlfriend's dad who's vietnamese dad cuts my hair okay so you got a barber out of it save money got a barber yeah save money you have a

caretaker that i know you don't say like get you have to get what you what god has given you bro i know but okay let's play this out. We're tossing you gems here, dude. We have the date. I meet her at McDonald's. Wow. We get a Big Mac Happy Meal. No, no, no.

And then she smells my poo breath. Okay, it was nice meeting you. No. No, we're going to get somebody to brush your teeth. We're just like, whatever. That's how it's going. It's not going to go that way. We're going to fix your breath.

We're going to oil up them nuts, and we're going to send you on a real date. Cream barbecue, little fucking sake. Ooh, hospice. go that way. We're going to fix your breath. We're going to oil up them nuts, and we're going to send you on a real date. Create a barbecue, a little fucking sake. Ooh, hospice. We'll get you into hospice care for a week. What are you talking about? They do. What do they do, hospice? They take care of you?

Yep. Brush your teeth. Brush your butt. That's a nursing home, isn't it? Yeah, but it's in your house. They come to you. So I have a nurse come over and clean my nuts? In your face.

You're not doing it? Good point. Good point. We're trying doing it? Good point, good point. Bro, we're trying to... I mean, God, man. You're working with me. You're working with me, yeah. Now here's another submission that came in. This is just a nice guy.

It's this guy's birthday today. He doesn't even have a segment. He just did a nice message. He's a nice guy. Watch Stevie choose him. Hey, Brandon. Hey, Theo. My name is Pranjal Bhattak, and I'm from India.

I just wanted to let you know that you guys are fucking amazing and we love your dark humor over here you guys have no idea that you are paper thin clothes to boom in india and today is my birthday please do wish me my birthday and peace all love thank you so much panjjo Batarach, baby. What's up, baby? What a nice guy. Gang, gang, bro. What a nice guy. Happy birthday. God bless India.

He's got a hair on him, too. Great shirt. Great hair. He's a James Dean, though. He's a James Dean of India. Yeah, great hair. Panjo Batarach. Hopefully he doesn't drive a Porsche.

And look, I've been in India, man. I love you guys over there, dude. You guys got fans in India. That says a lot. I saw a monkey with a wristwatch on there. Wow. Probably stole it. Yeah. And look, let me tell you, he was punching his fist like this.

He's like, dude. I'm not joking. That's India, dude. And that is India, bro. India is no joke, dude. Don't have your head on a swivel. You ever driven down an interstate? I saw people sleeping on the interstate on the side of the... You've been there? Huh?

Yeah. You know what they call the poor people in India? What? The untouchables. Yep. They think they did something bad in a previous life, and that's why they're poor. Like Kevin Costner. Doesn't make sense.

Yeah. Doesn't make sense. So, look... Yeah, I appreciate you. That was real fun, man. Real fun. I want to thank Nick, thank Chen. Thank you, Nick. Thank you, guys, for the work. We appreciate it. Wow, that was really a That was real fun, man. Real fun. I want to thank Nick, thank Chen. Thank you, Nick.

Thank you guys for the work. We appreciate it. Wow, that was really a lot of research there, man. I know you guys had to look deep for that. Thank you so much. And what do you think, man? Can we set you up with one of these gals? Let's talk about it. Let's go to the bathroom and talk about it.

Let's go to the bathroom and see his nuts, see how bad it is. I'm not going. Let's go take a trip real quick. We'll talk about it. I will walk that path for us and peep it out thank you brandon you'll come i'll check your nuts out do not come dude that is well i'm not gonna come but i'm gonna check his nuts thank god you guys before we sent him on this little this this innocent girl from montana i guess see what she's signing up for

that other girl does mma i think you i don't know i just feel like there's a these are great opportunities man and these are a lot of close far if you want to get out in the mountains you want to get out and have a new experience man i just don't want you to miss out on a good opportunity man i've done it in my life look i've done it in my life and i regret it yeah we gotta work on your confidence because i think you're a catch and a good person so you think my confidence is low yeah you're also wearing a chill child's pajama top okay yeah because he's confident oh yeah that's why he's wearing it that's right figure it out man yeah that's a good point who wants a bedtime story it's a great shirt by the way thanks man guc man. Gucci. Oh, my God. Yeah, we just got to work on confidence, work on lubing up them nuts, and then obviously the shit.

Yeah, showering it up, brushing my teeth. Yeah, that would help. Deodorant. Yep. Soap. We got to give you a makeover. All that. It's basic.

Can I style you for the date? Yeah, you can do this in a half hour in the morning. We're trying to find you a date. Get my hair. Get a good hairstyle going. I'm going to style you for the date. Put some hair gel. I was like, he's tuning out.

He's tuning out. You're doing crazy crunch again? What's wrong with you now? We're trying to get things going. We're talking about hair gel, about brushing my teeth, washing my nuts. You two are trying to get things going. Hey, Papa. Hey, Papa.

I'm not going to lie to you. You're tuning out. A month from now, we're going to be doing the same thing with you. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm trying to help one before I help another. And I appreciate it. This is the trial run over here, dude.

Yeah, dude. But you sound like me. I think the worst part is I see myself in you. I think it's in my head. Yeah, you're right. I don't look at myself in the best light. Yeah, let us take care of it, and you got to get out of your head, and we're going to make this happen.

Because when I saw myself, I cringed. I'm like, is that Yoda? The theme song didn't help. Yeah, you've been making choices for yourself for long enough, and it hasn't gotten you to where when I saw myself, I cringed. I'm like, is that like Yoda? The theme song didn't help. You've been making choices for yourself for long enough and it hasn't gotten you to where you want to be, I don't think, in a love space. But maybe I have been seeing someone too. What?

Uh-oh. Why does this happen every time? I know, not again. What? I'm in Oklahoma next week, Thursday through Saturday. Brickstown Comic Club, Oklahoma City, June 10th through the 12th. Stevie, we love you, man.

We're going to find you love. Love you, guys. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster.

About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls' letter. Instagram fame is damp. Hungry like I'm fresh off off keto Seeing red like Andrew Santino Every song a hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos

But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible

Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brennan's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Bees sting, rat king King and the sting King and the sting Got bee sting, rat king. King and the sting, king and the sting.

Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string. King and the sting, king and the sting. King and the sting, bee sting, rat king. King and the sting, king and the sting. Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string