The Golden Hour - Episode 129: Girth Worm

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

Theo and Brendan speak with UFC's Jon Anik to break down and make picks for UFC 264 Dustin Poirier vs Conor McGregor and talk Nick's dog Chewy, Theo's favorite MMA referee "No Nonsense" Keith Peterson, Dominick Cruz, Joshua Fabia, Boob Luges vs Butt Chugs, KC & JoJo vs Boyz 2 Men, all new fan "Roast Me" submissions, an update with a KATS Dating Game contestant and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick's here with his dog Chewy from Maine, obviously. Mexico, actually. Oh, really? He got him in Mexico? Yeah, he was born in Mexico. And he has autism? Yeah. He's got something.

He's getting cuter, though. I'll give you that. Heads up, though. He did drink half this espresso. So he's not. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Back off my broccolini.

Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. Let the great show on up. You've earned it. You've earned it. That top layer reminds me of like a queen mattress with that fluffer on the top.

Biceps bigger than your mom's tits. That's true. My mom has A-cups. Your mom flat chested? I mean, bro, I wouldn't describe her like that but you know she's a male she's a female yeah but but she had those small fucking milk rattlers on her boy it was hard to get a drop out of them my mom wasn't giving up anything man you gotta work though ah you gotta work dude i would do i would do side control on the tit trying to get it down

you know trying to get a half ounce out of one of them put that tit in the ankle I remember breastfeeding off my brother for a little while oh yeah

just because he was better that's it I had a better chance of getting something out of him or trying to I remember those videos there's not videos of it

but there's drawings of it that's probably where you got those haunches man getting that thick fucking brother sweat out. You think? Mm-hmm. Now, were you sucking on his tits before or after he had those tattoos?

Because that would mess you up. Well, he, uh... I ought to get that dog, huh? Wasn't that dog in, uh... I Know What You Did Last Summer? I know this dog was in As Good As It Gets. That's Jack Nicholson's dog. You steal that dog wasn't that dog in uh I know what you did last summer I know this dog was in uh as good as it gets that's Jack Nicholson's dog you steal that dog damn Nick I know you had pink undies on you can see that dog sweat a little when he goes over there by chin man

no homo bro you know what I'm saying that dog has anxiety when he goes over by chin he hears that griddle warm up in the back of his head. Yeah, boy. Whoa. Yeah. It's tasting me. He's getting cuter, though. I'll give you that.

Dude, about time the tables have turned. I'm just saying, dude, Bark Lives Matter, bro. That thing, it's tired of me. It knows what you do to its people, dude. Yeah, Paul's matter, Chin. Not me. Yeah, not you, but somebody. Somewhere down the line,

maybe. Look, man, all of us are carrying around all kind of monsters in the closet. Monsters in our freaking marrow, in our DNA closet. The bone marrow? You're about to go bone marrow? I was going to go bone marrow. Are you putting on that chain, doggy? That JCPenney chain?

This is 100% tungsten. Oh, damn, dog. You get that? Were you sponsored by Express today? Where'd you get that shirt? Mm-mm. I won this actually two years ago at a fair down in Naples. See, that's kind of like your dog, right, Nick?

You look like you sell timeshares and Van Nuys. Really? Yeah, that shirt is sick. I'll give you that, dude. Dude, you look like you sell toothpaste by the in Van Nuys. Really? Yeah, that shirt is sick. I'll give you that, dude. Dude, you look like you sell toothpaste by the mouthful to gay dudes. Okay. That's what you look like, bro. You sell Crest just to the gays?

You look like a third baseman for fucking Colgate all-men's butt first team. You guys are the only guys who play backwards. So the guy hits it. You have to catch it with your butt. And you have to run with your butt. And then slide in butt first. It's all safe. But there's nothing safe going on out there. There's nothing safe about it.

No condoms in that league. No serve. There are no DHs. Not a chance. Who's this gentleman? So we have a guest. Oh,. There are no DHS. Not a chance. Who's this gentleman? So we have a guest. Oh, this is our boy last week who, first of all,

I want to say last week, man, great episode. Oh, thanks, brother. Dude, I tuned in just to make sure you guys got the episode up, dude, because obviously I don't trust a lot of people that work here.

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, and it is fair. Yeah, it is fair. And it was awesome. I watched the whole episode. I watched the whole episode, man. You enjoyed it? Yeah, it was good.

Did you like, subscribe? Ham Bile didn't say anything or whatever that guy's name is. I'm glad he didn't. Pork Chop out the back. Whatever that guy's name is, dude. I think Chinmuth, was it just? I was here. You were here?

I'm sorry, man. That's all good. That's all good. But this guy passed away? Yeah. No, this guy was, this is the guy who didn't win the date. I know, and we were rooting for him. Do we hear from the firefighter?

We haven't yet spoke with him. I wanted to wait until – He's too cool. He don't get fired. Eric and Steve were back. He's too cool. He's fighting fires, man. Oh, the firefighter.

He was sad he missed it. Really? He was like, I wanted to try to face – because he was actually fighting fires in Utah, and he's like, I wanted to try to FaceTime him, but no service. Sorry. That guy's a legend in, but no service. Sorry. That guy's a legend. There's no service in a fire? No, dude, you have to.

Fire's the original electricity, dude. I doubt there's no service in there. He was such a badass. But this guy, he was a little sad about losing last week, but he's got a debate club that I think will help Lee Asin do our guest, actually. Oh. Oh. Hey, what's up, Cats crew?

It's Gavin, the guy, you may know me, the guy who got his heart ripped out and broken last week. Still single, still hurt, but I got a quick debate club for you guys. Who do you got in the upcoming fight? Connor, the legend, or Dustin, the dog? I mean, personally, I know you guys could probably deep dive into this so I'd love to hear your opinion I also need to know I need a bet to make to make me a little money to you know take over for this heartbreak this void that's in my soul right now oh you would never give up

besides that love the show keep doing what you're doing. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. He's married anyway, Doug, and we're straight. I mean, you're nuts. Well, first of all, Gavin, thank you very much for chiming in, brother. We appreciate it, and I'm sorry that— We're going to find him a lady. I'm sorry that that salt-flat thought let you down last week, man. That little Idaho.

She don't like that pepper in her salt, dude. me i don't think man and look if you're lonely and still single and brokenhearted dude then this past weekend is the podcast for you brother it's up it's out every week and you will thrive over there you cry together we welcome you also stop chasing a girl who orders only white meat at kfc you feel me yeah yeah that girl likes it white dude white uh you can smell that from a mile away uh your boy's fighting this weekend you're going to the fight yeah dude i'm going to the fight no just like that who's there me dude if you dress like that I feel like you're gonna get beat up dude I'll freaking dress dude

I'll fight anybody in the stands dude who's gonna be there I know Chandler will be there if I have to fight him I'll fight him that's your buddy who else I bet the Diaz bros will be there I would love to see them just slap you around a little bit yeah say something to them let me know how it goes for you nah nah nah, nah.

Yeah, do that. I might leave a note for them, but I'm not saying nothing. Leave a note and run off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good question, man. What do I have? Are you excited for your boy Poirier? I'm excited for him.

Either way, it's a payday for the man. Either way, it's a payday. People are excited. The whole card's great. You got Wonderboy Thompson out there with, who's he fighting, Dorino? Gilbert Burns. Gilbert Burns. Gilbert Burns.

That's gonna be wild. Great fight. I think Wonderboy knocked him out. You do? Yep. I'd love to see Wonderboy get a shot at Usman. He will if he knocks him out. And I'm not talking about Kamara. I'm talking about the guy from 90 Day Fiance. Yeah, I'd love to see him fuck that dude up.

Yeah, that's a great fucking call. That guy needs his fucking ass kicked. Not a day the other way, son. Come out here. You're fucked up. My boy. Yeah, that's him right there.

Trick that poor young lady. Dude, their whole story was way better than coming to America, too. Way better. What's the synopsis? What'd she do to him? So he basically tricked her conned her uh her marrying him so he'd get into the states yeah i feel like she'd be stoked on it i don't know oh she was over there bro they were raising goats they were doing it all she painted her face

yeah they definitely got uh she was down and he was having to hammer that figlet every night, too, dude. Yes, sir. You see him wake up all dried out. Bro, he was paying for that green card. That dude, yeah. Paying. Even, it was. I had to pay the piper. Yeah, yeah.

He paid the piper with some fucking penis, brother. That's what he did, dude. He paid in 100% penis. And look at frickin' your boy back there, dude. Porky Chop? Yeah, whatever that guy's name is bro semen giblet he fucking looks like he's been eating boo radley biscuits back there dude are you okay bro you have a look in your eyes like you want to be a serial killer but you don't want

to put in the work uh should we bring in an expert to help us yeah yeah'll kill him tomorrow. I would do it, but they seem nice. McGregor poor a three is all set. You can be there in person and I want you to hold up my motherfucking cash when I win. But listen, if you're not Ben Thiel Vaughn and probably going to lose your money, you can bet with draft Kings this weekend. Big UFC 264 is this weekend, and they're offering you guys $264 to one odds on a knockout in the first round during Saturday's main event. If the rubber match ends on a first-round knockout, you walk away with cash. Wow, really? Just pick the main event fighter you think will win by first round,

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That's code K-A-T-S to turn $1 into $264. I can't believe that. That's a lot of money. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook. Must be 21 or older. N-J-I-N or P-A only. Those are states. New customers only.

Restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash sportsbook for details. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or in Indiana 1-800-9-WIT-IT. Man, I'm I had something the other day that wasn't very fresh

actually. Oh man, well you need to get America's number one meal kit with HelloFresh HelloFresh HelloFresh cuts out stressful meal planning and grocery store trips so you can enjoy cooking and get dinner on the table. And ready? 30 minutes or less, Theo Vaughn. Try HelloFresh quick and easy meals, 15 to 20-minute dinners,

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Oh, is it great to be with you, man? Is that a Blue Jays hat you're wearing? Yes, sir. That's sharp right there. Thanks, man. I'm not even even a blue jays fan i just like the hat and the color no i you just appreciate good gear and good logos god you look good man what have you been doing moisturizing what's going on here no i mean i was outside it is so goddamn hot here i was outside a little bit today trying to get some sun because i'm wearing a fucking pink suit on television saturday night and it doesn't look good unless i'm like really dark so that's where we're at John Anik baby the tame panic right there

himself dude thanks for joining us bruh what an absolute pleasure to be with you guys especially to talk to Theo during a Dustin Poirier fight week and my man Shab and I have been trying to get together and chop it up for like years so uh this true. I've been doing it with him for years. You ain't missing nothing. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that. Dude, I'm so excited for this week. How are you feeling? What are you feeling going into this, man?

It's a Connor fight week for you. Yeah, man. I'm anxious, you know, and anxious in the best of ways. Obviously, I don't have to tell you guys this will be the first time that we have a full crowd in Vegas since March of 2020. I feel like this is as sought after a ticket in UFC history. Like I'm getting text messages from people in my life that I haven't heard from in five to 10 years. So if that's an indicator, I think we're going to do a good number on pay-per-view. And I just think the most interesting

part of this for me is that these dudes went like six or seven years from fight one to fight two. And now this third fight is happening only six months after that second meeting. So a lot, obviously, on the line in terms of the mixed martial arts legacy for both guys, but I don't know, man. I think from a betting perspective, I think if you like Conor, the price is a whole lot better than it was at UFC 257 earlier this year. Agree. It's a tough fight to call, though, right, Anik? Like, you look at the fight, you can't go based off six years ago when they first fought two completely different fighters

and you can't really go based off that fight in january because you know connor's been focused on boxing obviously poor a's been active so it's not like i don't put too much into that fight either so this one is like to me is whoever wins this one's like literally going to be the winner of this trilogy because now no i think connor's well focused you to me, is whoever wins this one's like literally going to be the winner of this trilogy. Because now I think Conor's more focused, you know? Yeah, I think whoever wins this fight can lay claim to being the better fighter in this series. And for Dustin Poirier, I think his biggest advantage, and again, I could go so deep on the numbers, right? This dude has 11 UFC lightweight wins. Conor McGregor has one UFC lightweight win. It's absolutely crazy that we don't talk about

Poirier as one of the all-time greats in this sport because he's never been an undisputed UFC champion. But he has had all of this MMA developmental time during his prime. He hasn't taken more than six or eight weeks off throughout his entire career juxtaposed against Conor McGregor, who

has had major pockets of inactivity, not just in competition, but in training as well. So I just think my biggest takeaway is Poirier's confidence, right? The reason he's not keeping things close to the vest, the reason why he's talking a whole lot is because he doesn't care. Like confidence is overflowing that he doesn't care what he says. He thinks nine times out of ten he beats this man. And you guys, I know you talked about the fights that Dustin had guys you didn't even mention the ones dustin used to fight dudes

in lafayette in front of the police station bro because he knew they were both getting arrested so he would meet him at the police station to fight right there because he's such a nice guy he didn't want the cops to have to travel here's the thing to me on and that's a true story i believe it great here's the thing to me on this fight And that's a true story. I believe it. Great. Here's the thing to me on this fight. This fight, to me, is dictated on how much does Conor want it. Because Conor, he has more money than God. The proper whiskey's sold. They reported $100 million.

My sources say he's got way more money than that. And he has all the money from the Floyd fight. And obviously, he's making money from the UFC. So we know he has more money than God. To me, with Conor,nor it's like are you willing to die in there because we know dustin is dustin is a dog man and he doesn't get the respect he wants so if connor if he can take it or leave it he's gonna get beat up but if he's doing it for legacy i think we got a real fight on our hands dustin told me he would fight the devil one time if he knew where he lived at isn't that crazy he told me that it makes sense and he told me not to tell anybody devil one time if he knew where he lived at. Isn't that crazy? He told me that. It makes sense.

And he told me not to tell anybody, and I shouldn't have said anything. But you said it. But he missed it. And now it's out. I got to ask you this. Outside of that fight that Dustin will win in the third round, outside of that fight, give me a little insight on my boy, no-nonsense Keith Peterson.

You gave him the name. Yeah. I love the guy. Every time I see him, dude, I want to go to the 7-eleven and fucking buy a pack of newports you know what i'm saying like i want to get a neck tattoo when i see him i love him man and i'm gonna beat his funeral if he ever dies i'll be right there in the front row there but yeah i'll send a note tell me about him a little bit i will go with you and uh we'll rip some dirt sticks together you're. Like I'm around that dude and he makes me want to smoke a cigarette.

Like when he makes me want to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette. And I will tell you too, like for that whole thing with Dominic Cruz, I was a little bit in between because Dominic Cruz is one of my best friends. I came to Keith Peterson's defense publicly. Keith will be the first to tell you, they told him he had five minutes to go fucking rip a lung dart before the fighter meeting. He went and did it. So cigarettes right before he's talking to these guys.

But he definitely was sober. But I love the guy. You know, I think the reason why I came to his defense, because he only recently got approved by the Nevada State Athletic Commission to actually referee fights here. And it took him forever. And so I kind of felt like that public criticism from Dom might hurt his cause in other jurisdictions. So I think he's one of the best refs. I mean, obviously, these guys make mistakes every now and again. But, yeah, I am a huge fan of the no-nonsense Keith Peterson.

Where's the mustache, man? How are you going to shave the mustache for the Connor fight? I mean, it's kind of there. What's crazy is that, like, I can literally grow a mustache in 48 hours. Oh, wow. You should do a time-lapse video. Put it on YouTube. So, yeah, the mustache will be back by Saturday night.

Now, what about this, man? You guys sitting there, whenever you guys, the shock thing has started to become like a thing. It's almost like watching like three stone dudes watching Shark Week or something when there's a big knockout and you and Daniel and Joe all kind of like, has it started to become a thing? It almost seems like you guys are on like a roller coaster. You guys know now everyone's like, Whoa, I'm like, it was all right. Yeah. I mean, I can, I can assure you, at least for me, it's like that camera is in front of Joe.

So I'm not even paying attention to it. And by the way, I think we're all probably residual with Stone by the time we show up on fight night. But yeah, I mean, fans love this shit, right? Like for a play-by-play guy, as soon as like Jorge Mosquedal knocks out Ben Askren and I cap that fight, they're giving me traffic immediately. Like, all right, do this, fucking do that. You know? So for me, the last thing I'm thinking about is that camera. And ultimately as the play-by-play guy, I kind of have to make sure I provide the historical context for the moment before I think about anything else.

But it's been fun. I mean, Rogan's reactions are just unbelievable. It looks like his eyes are trying to protrude and leave his head. But it's been fun, man. I mean, I don't have to tell you guys. It's just different when Joe's there, man. It's just more special. You guys coming?

Theo's going. I don't like going to live events, especially UFC. I have anxiety these days from it. Well, and I'm sure for both of you guys, there will be a little crowd navigation this weekend. Theo's going to be there, though. I'll be there, baby. I'm sitting right behind you guys.

Theo's going to be there in a thong. He's going to be in a thong rooting for Dustin Poirierier now if dustin loses i need you to find him console him he's gonna be crying last time with the dustin poirier fight he's yelling out instructions that's true actually they're like dude they're they're not even on the ground theo get his head off i told joe I would be on my best behavior this time. So he's letting me go back, but I'm fired up, dude. I'm gonna be right behind you guys. If Dustin wins one of y'all's getting molested, bro. I promise you that.

Fucking jump me, man. I can't wait for it. But yeah, no, that'll be good to meet you in person and have you right behind us. And it's just so good having fans back in the building. Like I'm going back and watching film of ufc 258 for gilbert burns and kamara usman and it's like i'm doing this whole pay-per-view open in an empty ufc apex with a 25 foot octagon i know hey how awkward was it when uh i gotta ask you about this how awkward was it when diego sanchez and joshua fabia was in was in that room

and just started spouting all that bullshit towards you and Megan O'Leary and freaking Paul Felder. And well, you know, Joshua Fabia, right. And I've said this publicly, that dude is like the least self-aware individual that I've ever met. And yet he runs a school of self-awareness, you know, but I have to say, like, I respect these athletes to such an extent. And I have Diego Sanchez in front of me, literally welling up with fucking tears because he feels like venom coming back from the broadcast team. So I kind of went into damage control mode and laid back and I knew I was going to just bring Diego into the hallway and kind of talk him off the ledge. But here he is, however, mentally compromised, trying to sort of explain his piece to this room. And he's literally filling

up with tears. So my focus very quickly shifted to trying to make Diego feel better. It's a sad situation all around. The worst. Fabian is pretty blown. He's out there, man. You know, not that he is not. I mean, he has merit. Like, I do think he has some value, but he's just not aware enough of self to really make a positive difference for Diego. I was hoping Paul Felder just stood up and beat the shit out of him. Yeah, I mean, I think Paul was inclined to do so. The assault charge, I looked it up recently. It's not like a terrible.

It's not awful. You know, like, you know, you'll be all right, Paul. We'll get a GoFundMe. Yeah, we'll bail him out. I don't know why I looked that up recently. I was thinking about assaulting somebody. And I looked it up just to see what the penalty would be. It's not too bad.

It's worth the risk. Is there a favorite cornerman or trainer or something that you like that's fun to just have there on the apron when you guys are calling it when you're out there at the fight? Is there like one or two that really kind of stand out to you that are just like, oh, this is almost like just another thing that that you get to see that you don't really get to see it from the television broadcast? Is there anybody that stands out? Definitely the general safe side from Fortis MMA. I just love watching him light up his guys and not mince words and i think he has a lot of young athletes that sort of blindly swear by his every word so he's not

afraid to light them up but yeah i'm always trying to get them to go to that safe saoud i thought you were going to say ray longo i know you think right a guy who's been on my podcast for 305 episodes that i would shout out Ray. No, Ray's outstanding. And I think Ray's a little bit underrated in terms of his ability to teach cardio and to really resonate with his athletes in the corner. So, yeah, honorable mention to my guy Longo. Mark Henry's pretty special. If you listen to Mark Henry with Frankie Edgar and some of the other guys,

it's like he's playing a video game. It's like he's playing a video game. He tells them what to do, and they talk in code. And every fight, the language is different. Oh, wow. So they download a whole database, and he gives out these code words. And literally, he has a control, and they do what he says. It's pretty nuts.

Yeah, Mark Henry's the man. I like Mike Brown, too. Oh, Mike Brown's the fucking best, man. He's going skins a lot this week. He must be in pretty good shape, I noticed. Really? Yeah, he's going skins a lot this week. He must be in pretty good shape, I noticed. Really? Yeah, he's going skins. He should do a calendar.

They should do an MMA coach calendar. They should do it. How great Longo is December with his shirt off, Doug? Get them tits out, Longo. Get them Long Island tits out, bro. That would be so great. John, we don't want to take up all your time, man. This is so awesome, dude. John Anik is here. I feel like I'm almost, somebody should fight in here today.

I will say, and I hope to be in studio with you guys at some point, right? Like despite some of the erroneous headlines out there, I'm not training for like an amateur MMA fight right now, but I will say when you spend enough time around this sport and these athletes it's hard not to want to develop some skills like i fucking hate jujitsu but it's hard not to want to develop some striking skills and like do an amateur boxing match against my twin brother right because i'm around this so much that it gives you the urge to to punch somebody in the face well we have we'll do king of the sting promotions we'll put that bitch off you want to fight your brother let's do it it's uh in the bantamweight

division he has a ponytail hair down to his shoulders but i think we could build it oh he didn't tell me as a ponytail is this corner man uh joshua fabia or what i'm sure fabia would take his call but i don't know well we love you You're one of my favorite people on this planet, dude. Yeah, we got to get together, man, in person. We got to figure it out. The love is mutual. Thank you guys for having me on. And don't be strangers, Theo.

I'll give you a big hug in about 72 hours, my man. That sounds great, man. And what is the podcast where people can check out your pod? Well, thanks, man. The Anakin Florian Podcast with Brendan Schaub's guy, Ken Flo, former three-time UFC title challenger. We go live pretty much every Monday and have been doing it for about six years. It's one of my favorite shows.

Cool. Two of my favorite guys. My man. Cool, man. Yeah, John, thank you so much, dude. See you this weekend. Thank you, boys. Enjoy the show.

I'll see you guys soon. Get that mustache popping, Daddy. Let's do it. All right, brother. Love you, man. See you, boys. Love you, too. Later, brother.

This is all you, Daddy. All right. Love you man This is all you daddy If you need help Then you're talking to the right guy I've needed help most of my life We all need a little help You need help from a professional You gotta quit listening to me on happiness dude I don't know I just go

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Shop stress-free and find your forever peace. Go to bluenile.com today. Dude, that's cool. I feel like we're at the fight. He's one of my favorite people man i love john it's so concise how he says everything it's almost like he's like a chef about fighting there's nobody but when it's him dc and rogan there's not a better commentating team in sports than those three not even close it's funny i hadn't thought about it to that extent that like

yeah it's like one i realized the other other day, UFC is my favorite sport. Somebody asked what your favorite sport is. You don't watch anything else though, right? Well, I always usually would say football, but then I thought about it for a second. You like college football, right? Like LSU. You'll get big college football games, we'll talk about that. But yeah, you got really into fighting. It's just interesting, dude.

But I think even what he said at the end, by the end, it's like you want to learn some of it. You want to just be involved in it somehow, you know know even if you're getting beat up by fucking 60 pound chicks dude there's some kid with a bad eye that made me fight like about six weeks ago yeah night patch there's a woman and uh and i don't i mean it was a woman then she probably had some fire though by scrappy oh definitely it definitely man uh but it's also the only sport where like if you're into it there's a way to do it right like you can play basketball i guess with your friends or whatever but if you're into mixed martial arts you could do boxing to get in shape you do something you know like jujitsu kickboxing like you can be part of it that's what's dope about it

yeah and there's all kind of small tournaments bro you, you're going to a Conor McGregor fight. I know. So, like, there's the Super Bowl, and then there's a Conor McGregor fight. And I know your boy's with Poirier, and he's probably, like, good chance he's going to win the fight. But it's just, you're going to literally the fight. I know. I know, dude. I was so excited the other day, I couldn't even think about it.

Where are you going to stay at? Circus Circus? I don't know. Ask my agent to try to give me a hotel room. room ask your agent why don't you put on your big boy pants and fucking put it yourself you're just like i don't know dude look i'm fucking expedia yeah i look like fucking dude whatever bro put those bastards to work dude yeah you get paid 10 you fucking like expedia dog i'll let them pay 90% of that room and I'll pay for 10% of that bitch, dude. Oh, there you go right there. There's Nick right there.

2015, I was a hipster Conor McGregor fan. Love it. Wow. But now I'm rooting for Dustin. It's crazy how things change. I love Dustin. One of my favorite people. He just, I mean, look, the guy said he's only been, he has only had six weeks off in 70 years or whatever like the guy he's a hall of famer he's hands down bar none a hall of

famer dude thanks for letting me even just be on the fly on the wall with you guys talking it's interesting bro yeah sorry i you know no it's your world up so i didn't want to make it so heavy i got to answer the things i want to keep peterson And if they start to think it becomes like a bit when they do that thing, dude, that's the best picture ever. Yeah. But now like a guy, like it'd be like a decision when they're all.

Hey man, I feel like you guys doing this for the gram. They're like those YouTubers. Like, Oh yeah. That's a fricking worse, bro. Brogan's all mind-blowing. They're like those YouTubers. Oh, yeah. That's the frickin' worst, bro. Who's this frickin' thirst trap with his shirt off?

The fourth is your brother. Yeah, it was weird. Fourth of July was poppin' in Florida, and we got some people sending in from a party. Theo Vaughn, Brendan Schaub. We're coming to you from Fort Lauderdale. Theo Schaub, Brendan Vaughn. We're coming to you from sunny Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We got us a big club for you.

Blue Blues or Butt Shub? Let us know. Big club. Oh, eating that ass. Good way to get pink eye, my man. Oh, yeah, get a little downtown in your uptown, dude. Oh, damn, dog. Looks like butt chug wins over here.

The baby king of the sing, baby. Let us know. Dang, that lady looks like she's going to file a complaint. I feel like. It's a song. She did not look pleased at that. You can't go nose deep in somebody's asshole with a spotlight in there. Not my man.

It's 2021, dog. Yeah, I will say, the in-picture, go back, both of those women look violated in that last picture. Look at them all. She's picking her wedgie out. Oh, I'm sure,

what's her name, Chelsea Peretti will tweet about this. I'm sure we ruined these women's lives somehow, that fucktard lady. As long as she can sell some tickets off of it. Marry your way into it. Did that look like your weekend?

We can't all be funny? No, my weekend was a little bit different, man. Yeah, my weekend was not like that. This is Theo's? This is my weekend right here. Are you at a YMCA? Is this a Trump rally in Mexico? This is like a hipster pool party.

In Nashville? Hipsters don't get in the pool? They did, dude. They got wet, dude. Somebody invited me into it. They got wet, man. A lot of urine in that thing, too, man. Those your nephews?

That's my little nephew. Caught that little deal right there. They all stayed at the crib? Oh, yeah, man. They had fun. It looked fun. They were swimming. What else did they do?

Yeah, just eating stuff, leaving things, places, leaving food places they shouldn't have. Then they came on the podcast, too. I heard. Yeah, I want to watch it. It looked funny. Cool lifeguard. That whole place was like a vibe, this whole little place.

It looks cool. Yeah, it looks like a cool vibe. It looks like it's Boogie Nights. You got Andrew Schultz as your lifeguard it was very boogie nights you got a young burt reynolds as a lifeguard that's cool yeah it looks like a boogie nights like that pool party at boogie nights that's a good call it's exactly what it was like they had a mustache float behind the pool like it was definitely hella hipster out there but that guy's austin man nice kid right there i just had a little barbecue at the crib

tigers outside with his squirt gun fucking hornate bit him bro you should have heard him squeal where'd it get him right the arm twice oh man oh really oh man it could be that new biden's new hornet that they're sending out to give put covet into people oh yeah yeah they got two of them two of them oh yeah that's moderna and he's black i think it was the johnson johnson dude yeah oh johnson johnson yeah johnson johnson urban yeah i think so man damn did he have any friends come over nope just his brother chilling boston's fat ass got in the pool oh and here's this That girl from Week what Is that Greta

What her name Oh you're talking about the Yeah She looks like a mix of that Greta Oh we're going to poison the water The global warming girl She looks like a mix of that

And the Juno girl You're killing off your job Calm down, lady. She's crying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, she does look like her older. Things didn't work out. That's Greta Thunberg.

I mean, we are. Yeah. Ooh, good call. She definitely is doing. Wow, that is a really good call. This lady could play her in a Lifetime movie. But she's exhausting if doing wow that is a really good call this lady could play her in a lifetime movie but she's exhausting if you're a parent like if you don't shut the fuck up two minutes about global warming i'm gonna freak out like you're sending me to my room when the world

is burning it's like it's like yeah bitch yeah bitch you didn't do your homework you're not listening fuck global warming right now you gotta do your homework. You're not listening. Fuck global warming right now. You got to do your homework. Yeah. I have to speak at the UN. But this woman, yeah, she kind of seemed like she was out of her demo, but she made some art and she's got a debate. She's out of her demo.

I can't wait to see. She looks dying. Hi, guys. Here from Washington State. I have a quick question for you. here from Washington State I have a quick question for you do like water sports here outside or you prefer just to chill and there will soil and just lay down on the hammock my question is what is your opinion about my fan art that I made? That's so crazy. What's a candle? A candle is an apple.

Gang gang buzz buzz. Buzz buzz. Nice young lady, man. She might be Lithuanian or Polish, maybe, I think. Polish power. I like the king in the stink candle. She was saying water sports are chilling in a hammock? Yeah.

Is she really watching the show? Yeah, it just seems like her man forces her to do this. The water is polluted. Like, you pissed in the bed, Greta. Yeah, Greta. Okay. Would you stop it with the global warming? You're going to be fine.

Oh, these pancakes are cold. Can you globally warm them? Like, no more jokes, Greta What I like to be hammock or water Well, Washington State water is cold water So you can hammock me up Really? I like the cold Especially in the summer

That's why I don't fuck with Miami or Cancun The water's too warm Feels like kids are pissing in the pool all the time I like that cold water Like the pool all the time i like that cold water like the la water's cold you like that it's hot outside yeah that cold water that's me in that ice plunge right there what's in your house in the garage nothing better for you man all these little dweebs want to do that cryotherapy and shit nothing better than this for you yeah yeah keep doing that man don't listen to those. I did three days in a row.

How'd you feel? Good? I felt good the last day. I did 10 minutes in there. How's that inflammation on the ass? Going down a little bit? Ass is still popping. Yeah. Ass is still popping.

Still popping. I got an ass like a snowman. Yeah. Do you get a hot tub, too? You got to get hot cold. Hot cold. Yeah, it's a good cold, man. I have to walk through the house, though, and everything would get wet. You can't just walk through the garage in the backyard or i'm not doing all that

it's a long walk oh my bad bezos it's not far but it's not close bro uh but the crazy thing the guy uh thomas who from gray block pizza started making these. That's the first one. Oh, wow. That's the prototype. Oh, that's dope. It's pretty cool, man.

They got these gang gang plates on the side of it. Are they all going to have gang gang plates on the side? I don't know. They may do a certain addition or something. It's like a hot tub, but just a cold tub? Yep, it's a cold tub. You keep the water in, and they have like a little machine in a cage, and you press the buttons on it, and then it just, the water's there all the time,

so you can go anytime. It's freezing. Yeah, so it just keeps it. Oh, damn, I'm going to have to hit them up. Keeps it at whatever temperature, man. Yeah, there you go right there. That's that frost puddle pumping, baby. You feel me? Gang, dog, that Christmas dripper, baby.

That's a Christmas dripper. That's a coffin. Slowly getting it. 77. There, kind of. Okay. Get it down to about 41. That's a coffin. Slowly getting there. Get it down to about 41. That's a lukewarm hot tub, coach.

I will say. Bro, you're going to a cold tub? That's a lukewarm bath. Dude, the water, that's hose water. 77? I got it down to 50, bro. Okay, trust me. Yeah, the first dip was a little warm little warm dude the worst thing is second time and

they're accidentally peed in there oh my god it's just the water just chills in there no there's a filter that's now that's one good thing there's a filter because like bugs from the garage have been dying in there so here's another guy who has a pretty intense uh debate club oh i remember this guy from homeland hey guys i got some advice from a cult leader it was from the cult that i was a part of obviously uh the leader said that in any relationship if one is unhappy it's probably because there's something wrong with yourself so if you think about it carefully when you are alone if you're unhappy that means you're obviously in bad company so learn to enjoy your company first and then share that enjoyment with another individual.

Let me know what you guys think about that. Gang gang buzz buzz. Dude, that's Mahatma Gangdi right there, bro. I respect that guy, man. That's true, man. If there's something wrong, there's something wrong with you. If you're unhappy when you're by yourself, it's one common denominator, man.

It's you, bubba. I'll let you take it from here thank you i'll let you handle things with anik and so yeah this is really my this is your department this is my precipice yeah man i agree dude i know when something's wrong in my world it's really inside of me so i appreciate you reminding me of that man i was doing okay today um but yep it's always a journey baby it's always it's always a fight before we get to uh some more debate sorry about the homeland joke i was just joking uh king and her sting it's we actually someone sent in the cats in the wild um this is uh basically theo if he ever gets his shit together. Oh, damn. That'd be if he found a lady.

It's clean cut, jacked, couple children. Wow. Damn. Nice hair on that. I have to get jacked also? Can't I just have a couple children? You can just get kids without getting shredded? A lot of responsibility, man.

That guy has a dime, though. Give him that. I wouldn't say that, dude. That's a man. Someone sent in pictures of Brendan pre-pandemic and post-pandemic after he's been going to zoo culture. Here's pre-pandemic. And here's post-pandemic.

That guy is bodied up. Definitely the zoo you've been hanging out around the horse cages, I can tell, baby. Because that is deck. Is that dude climbing out of the ocean? Is that Poseidon? I was just going to say that. Is that Aquaman?

That guy is built for swimming, man. Oh, dude, I bet that. That guy missed leg days, though. Joe Stetic? Mm-hmm. I bet that dude's breath is minty. Ooh. I bet he has.

Oh, he's a dime. Oh, he went to the hospital, though. Dude, he probably went there to drink someone else's blood. Other posts got deleted. Thank you for your support, everyone. He looks like... What happened to him? He looks like...

A man from Suicide... from Suicide Boys. He looks like a buff child exotic in that. He looks like Scrim from Suicide Boys. looks like a exotic in that huh he looks like a scram from suicide boys that's a good call pretty close a little bit i wonder who's having surgery on all right pretty close same eyes and hair brennan and similarities yeah same nose structure but dude that guy's a vein on his arm i could go through that dude a vietnamese guy could live climb through there dude you could cook that thing and eat it that thing is how do you fried worms bro that dude has some freaking on him, bro. This guy's got bad lighting, but he's got another debate club for us.

This is how a lot of white dudes die in boating accidents, I know that. Culture Quarter. Nick Chin, what's up? Eric out of Newark, Ohio. Listening to that old school R&B. That brought the question to mind. The Bait Club. Which group was better? Casey and JoJo or boys to men? I know you both sang some songs to some girls back in the day. Brennan, we're about the same age. Can we go back to the days our love was strong?

Can we go back to the days our love was strong? You only know a few lyrics. That's all right. Dude, boys spent all day. Casey and JoJo only had a few bangers. Boys and men didn't, right? Oh, yeah. Dude, and then the guy with the cane would sneak out of the back.

Bass guy. Yeah. He'd be like, I got a cane. End of the road. You seem like an Asian guy. What have we got? To the end of the road. Ooh, that's Casey and JoJo.

No, Boyz II Men. Ooh, I'll make love to you. That panty dropper. God, these boys put it on. And they're all about consent. They're like, I'll make love to you if you want me to. Yes. It's so hard to say goodbye. It's a slap.

Casey and Jojo is what I wrote. The roller rinks we held hands and we go around. Casey and Jojo was more like, I feel like, kind of gay bait music. Yeah. Boys to men, dude. That's an entree, dog.

Entree to love, man. You need a little more boys to men. Will you come back to me? I'm down on pantanese. He said it again. God, that stuff was good, man. The's here's me and brendan if we merge uh people got merged in a little twink apparently here's fendon we'll let him tell hey what's going on everybody my name is andrew um i posted a picture of myself

on the cat's facebook page and asked the fans roast me and here's what they came up with. Ryan Martinez said, you look like Tim Robbins and Shawshank after the prison rapes. Nick Back said. Hold on, stop, man. You got to stop. What's the lady boys got there? That's hilarious. Damn, dude.

This guy does look, I will say this, this dude would get banged down, okay? Any rest area in America, this dude would be the fucking creme de la creme. Yeah. He would be the creme de la creme lot lizard, man. Oh, this dude, Harvey 2% milk, bro. This dude

is slinging it. After the prison rape scene. Nick Back said, hot topic version of Aquaman. Sorry. Hey, those are some strong words from a dude with a name Nickelback, so. Great comeback.

Dan Garcia said, you look like you signed up for the army and bought a four cylinder Camaro. I am in the army. That is true, dude. That RS Camaro. That's that army gateway package. Yeah, right there, dude. Got that American flag tat.

Yeah. They haven't even given you your dog tags yet, but you're all fucking tatted up. I am in the army, but I do not own a Camaro. All right. Brian Carter said. So it's him. So it is him. Look like a genie if you could only grant wishes

to hope you beat a date rate loss. That's really creative. Yeah, dude. That's good. Oh, man. That guy's going to take someone's job here.

Hey, F you, Brian. That's not funny, dude. Okay, it's funny. Jason Rowling again said, you look like if two gay men could be pronounced M-U-S. You do, dude. Oh, definitely. You look like if two gay men could be pronounced you do dude oh definitely you look

like you would be freaking dancing to some severe 80s fucking it's raining men in your crib hey you man that hurts aaron davidson said you definitely moan when you wipe