The Golden Hour - Episode 135: In The Army Now

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

Theo sits in on the Culture Corner and the guys talk who would be drafted in the Military between Theo, Erik Griffin, Brendan and SteeBee WeeBee. Also, the guys discuss SteeBee's concern for Bobby Lee's weight gain, mail in pizza, males on OnlyFans, fan brawl at the Rams vs Chargers game, toupees and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Cool. You can wear camo, Doug. Bro, you know two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35, bro? Yeah. Most of the people in the studio do this. True, man. Some shitty hair up in here. I'll say this, though, that more than 50 million men in the U.S.

suffer from male pattern baldness, MPB. Thank God for Keeps. They offer a simple, stress-free way to keep your hair, man. It's low-cost. Treatments start at just $10 a month, man. Discreet little package. Comes to the crib. Your girl don't have to know you're trying to keep them locked.

Well, one thing that I didn't like is if I was trying some medicines and stuff, I had to hide them or I had to sneak them in the house. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing, Doug. And I have to be nervous when I buy them at the store. Like, oh, it's from a cat or something. The guy's like, you don't have a cat. It's not good, dude. Prevention is key.

Treatments can take four to six months to see results. So act fast. If you're ready. If you're ready to take action i'm ready are you i'm so ready all right baby if i take this stuff my shit's gonna grow into my forehead really dude i have a small forehead i'd bring it down a little you could get another half inch down you think i think so yeah i would get some hair transplant or i'll just get some keeps If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to K-E-E-P-S dot com slash K-A-T-S to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's K-E-E-P-S dot com slash K-A-T-S

to get your first month free. Keeps dot com slash cats. If any animals out there get camels, right? I love that you have a crack team ready for this kind of nonsense. The Golden Eagle. That's their fucking mascot? The Golden Eagle is also a gay dude that's never been with a woman. It's cold for that.

You know that, right? That's really a term, too? You know that, right? No, I don't know that. Back off my broccolini Get your life together It is Don't touch me bro

I'm not touching you dude You're sitting by me Bucky I thought you were there with Brendan Huh? You and Brendan I'm just easing back into the show man No man this is your show. Griff and the King.

Griff and the Sting. Sting and the Griff. I should be sitting in the corner. The Sting and the, uh, the Sting and the Steve would be good. But then Eric's out. Don't worry, that's the story of my life. Don't worry. Oh, damn.

So why is Theo, aren't you supposed to be sitting there? Huh? You're supposed to be sitting there. No. What the fuck's going on? You got laid off, man. What the fuck's going on? This is your thing and this thing.

This is... We're just... Switching the dynamic? Yeah, sometimes I like being a guest better than I like being in the host seat. Good to see you, Doug. Honestly, bro. Can you relate to that or not you think i still want to yeah man

i don't like being in the driver's seat show start showing the difference takes off the load off your chest yeah that's what we should do then we should like plan it out and then just like take the time and do it i can king from over here hey man i faltered that's great oh those are too rough man this is real tobacco no i know it's too rough that'll stop your legs and you got you that'll stunt your growth too bub well i mean i think that ship has sailed yeah he's 50. it'll also make you 10 racist yeah that code that kodak is this dude i've never seen yeah what theo have you never seen... Yeah, what? Theo had that as his baby. You've never seen a Korean guy do this?

His mom's like, get a little Kodak in there. Get a little Kodak. Get a Kodak formula. Can we get that Kodak formula? Get that Kodak with that wintergreen Kodak formula. Long cut. Yeah, but she just took a lot of it. It was direct to Teddy.

Farm to table with Theo. Or he opens his mouth like a baby... He got that farm to table Theo. Or he opens his mouth like a baby. He got that farm to table racism. Or he opens his mouth like a baby bird. He's all. He had to eat it out of her mouth. I want to do something with you. I'm just scared if I'll get sick or not.

That might make you sick. These won't deal. Will it make my heart start to hurt or not? No, not at all. Your gums might hurt. These won't deal. Will it make my heart start to hurt or not? No, not at all. Your gums might hurt. This won't hurt. That will hurt your gums. This won't hurt anything.

I just don't want to get, they don't really have racism in them, do they? No. All right. I'll take one. He's like, I can't have any more.

He's like, I'm full of the bread. I got enough. Look, I'm just saying. One more bite, I'm going to be like, you stupid. And what flavor is it?

Peach? This is lemon. All this is good. This little setup right here. Oh, dude. All this is going to do is bring all the trolling on me. Why? Why?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No, it won't. Yes, it will. They're going to be like, I already get like, I hate it. Where's Theo? Yeah, they're going to say that in the comments. Like, dude, where the fuck's Theo? I'm so sick of Griffin. Where's Theo? That's actually me in the comments. This is a bleacher.

Not you. Sometimes that's me. It's the two of us doing it all. Even on that Burt one, I got comments. People are like, oh, thank goodness. I'm so sick of Griffin. Why are you reading that shit, dog? No, no, no, because I'm tagged.

But still. But it just pops up. You just, you know, you look at it for a second. He's kidding. I'm tagged. Are you really getting hate? No, he's not. It's not real hate, though.

Hate is when somebody comes to your domicile or home. Somebody has a weapon. Somebody has a sword. No, they can do that in DMs. They do that in DMs. If you give them the power. But you have the ability to not do that. Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry, man. You got hate, Stevie? Who hates Stevie? About my parents should have aborted me. Holy shit. But that's more like time traveling kind of stuff i feel like just all just the worst shit yes what are you laughing at i'm just i'm just thinking the theo's thinking process i'm just i'm getting on that page because it was time travel

they like you and brent you know what i mean they don't like us no they like you guys together the comments when it's just me and him are fucking horrible. What are you talking about? It's all like, these guys look like a... This is your thing, dude. There's nothing but love for you guys. This guy looks like a livestock. This guy looks like a...

No. What they used to say, Brendan looks like the kind of guy that rides on a horse with both legs off to one side. They sit there bombing. How's that? Is that a compliment, bud? I don't think it is. That's a compliment. I take that as a compliment? I don't think it is.

That's a compliment. I take that as a compliment. You're manly to do that. What, ride a horse on the side? I don't know. So why don't you do Griffin a favor? I think, yeah, Theo. He's going to be fine.

He looks comfortable over there. Just leave it. Yeah. See, this is something they can troll you about, Steve. Creating more issues than there are issues yep what are you talking about

so you guys please troll that Steve that was a solution I saw you did a podcast with your brother finally got him on oh finally huh

yeah the guy sees you getting a little clout over here and he finally monkeys you up to his new one you know what he said

to me though it was funny what did he say he said he can't stand when people go that he's Steve's brother hilarious Steve he said he can't stand when people go that he's Steve's brother. Hilarious.

Steve, he said he loves it. Steve, he loves it. Steve, you've always been the cuter brother anyway, though. No, but I've always been known as Bob's little brother. Have you? And who's older, both of y'all? No, he's older than me. Bob's been famous for a hot second, though.

What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Can you maybe give him some encouraging talks about maybe losing some weight? Yeah. Is this peach flavor?

Lemon, dog. Is lemon in it? Yeah. Because he's gained a lot. Yeah, he's got a big, he's got the Buddha belly now. Really? Oh, come on, dude. The success belly. Yeah, he eats nothing but Korean barbecue, I think.

Really? Yeah. Come on. You guys are acting like you don't know this stuff. But dude, it's just, he eats nothing but Korean barbecue, I think. Really? Yeah, come on. You guys are acting like you don't know this stuff. But dude, it's just called barbecue, dude. Korean barbecue. Korean barbecue. But maybe, is he doing it for a roll or something?

No, he orders, dude, he orders frozen pizzas from like Chicago and stuff. Oh, I love that. You know those thick pan pizzas? Oh, dude, I know exactly. My mom used to do it for Christmas. If somebody is mailing you pizza, you are fat. Yeah. I admit it.

I'm going to say that. I don't mean if anybody is fat. I'm not talking about this. I'm co-signing this. He does this. I own it. Have you ever, because you're former, you've been fat before. You've been fat.

Yeah. Some would say still am, but yeah. And have you guys ever had like specialty foods mailed to your home? No. That exact pizza that Bobby did, I did every Christmas. Dude, remember them Larry and David pears or whatever they would send you? What's that? I wasn't in, this is when I was young, dude.

It was the closest I ever came to homosexuality was when Larry and David pears would show up at Christmas. Oh, is that the fucking basket? Yeah, and you open it up and they got six little pears in there. Real pears, like the fruit pears? Oh, yeah, Bob. fruit pears oh yeah okay and i think they're from an orphanage or something they're good lip lips juice with me yeah two water so juicy like it's just okay they're so juicy bro they should have their only fans bro they are freaking good if you just set up their only They are frankly not. If you just set up their OnlyFans.

Now, that's a fat thing. Yeah. Only, only fat fans. Hey, you got an OnlyFans? You got an OnlyFans? You just sizzle bacon. You could probably make a lot of money, man. There's a lot of women that love you. Doing what on OnlyFans?

Just being you. What, like just being at home and looking at stuff? No, feel that's an ass on me. Can dudes have an OnlyFans? Yeah, it's called a podcast. It's called King and the Sting. No, yeah no no no like a real yeah this is it this is it steve no where you take off your shirt i think there's some dudes making money on the only fans right probably not as much as the ladies you have to be fit though right i think it's more for like

uh game maybe i don't want to say like gay men or people with animals, maybe. I don't know. Like pets. Maybe porno? Show your pets. Like a home animal. Meet the male sex workers, the only fans. See, dude? Yeah, there you go. Oh, it's a black guy.

Yeah, my body doesn't look like that. Or orange. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Keep going. Oh, see, this guy's making money. That's Rene from the comics where they do Parks cars. You know him? Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. You know him? Yeah That is him For sure You know I one time That's the guy Look at this guy Well that's Kyle My videographer Damn Kyle First Kat

Now you man So this guy's our only fans? Apparently dude God they're making Oh look at that See you need a Rottweiler That one makes sense you guys he's in a stream this is what it is it's guys with ptsd hugging animals and that's how

he's been in afghanistan or something like that and now he's and i'm ready to go fam i'll tell you that you know that you're ready to go where military where are you ready to go in case we get drafted dude and his name is stevie okay don't say it don't call him that We're military? Where are you ready to go? Where are you ready to go? Huh? Where are you ready to go? Hang, hang, hang, hang, hang. Okay, so we get drafted, dude. And his name is Stevie. Okay, don't call him that. What? What are you drafting?

He's trying to call him his traditional name. They're not starting with guys over 40 in the draft. Huh? They're not starting there. Bitch, I'll fucking go in. They might win. You're too old. I'm most likely to get drafted out of this group, I think.

And I'm too short. No, no, no, no, no. I'm too short. You need to be over a certain height, though. You're too short, and there's a variety of reasons. No, you could play the drum, no. I'm too short. You need to be over a certain height, though. You're too short, and there's a variety of reasons. No, you could play the drum, though. Or carry the flag. Or be the drummer boy.

Eric, you would be at the mess hall. The angry guy with the spoon out of the tent. The guy who feeds the child. Yeah, I don't qualify, man. And he would be like, good morning, Vietnam. He'd have him at the radio station just telling dumbass stories to the troops. Just entertain the troops with his old stories. Like, if we're in 300, you're the guy with one eye that when they're about to go to war, he's like, you go back and tell the stories.

And he's like, no, man, I want to fight. And Leonidas came. You know, that's that. That's you, Doug. I'm keeping moral, bro. You're the storyteller, bro. I'm keeping moral. Why would you think you would get drafted, Theo? Because fucking look at me. You're the storyteller, bro. My job is to keep moral. Why would you think you would get drafted, Theo?

Because fucking look at me. You're fit too, huh? Yeah, I am. Look, it touched my arm. See? Yeah, you're pretty muscular. Yeah. I don't know if military is for you, Bubba.

Oh, dude. I get up at a decent hour. Have you ever thought about joining the military, though? I thought about it yesterday for about almost 40 minutes. What, the Marines or Army? Like, what, what? I'd go Air Force for about almost 40 minutes. What, the Marines? Huh? Army, like, what, what? I'd go Air Force, dude.

I'd kind of wander my way into it. No, that's not for you. You fly for the Air Force. You give me a grunt in the fucking front lines in the Army, man. There's women in the Air Force,

though, dude. Marines, you have to just pretend that people are women that aren't women. Yeah, I got to go, I would have to go right into, like, middle management. You know, I can't just...

You want to be on the front lines. You'd be a contractor, I think. Yeah, you know what I mean? I can't go go right to i was going to the military if i wasn't playing sports i was the plan my family's all military the only time i seriously thought about joining the military and honestly took like a 40 minute think about it was on at 9 11 oh yeah i really i had the thought in my head i was like i can't believe this happened and i had that moment of like should i join the military yeah you know did you just walk outside and punch a muslim or what'd you do no i uh i don't know i just thought like i don't know if that was

but did they do it do we know who did it yeah we still don't know no No, we know. They said it was Saudi Arabia. No, we know. I'm just saying, like, now there's all this thing we pulled out, you know, like, after 20 years. And we were supposed to be training them. We spent billions of dollars, trillions. Trillions. Trillions of dollars for training to get them ready. And they got taken over in four days.

Where's the money? We should get a reimbursement. But the Taliban, like, all the tanks and guns, the a reimbursement but the taliban like all the tanks and guns the taliban was like cool thanks for for all this cool shit and they took him over four days where's the training man yeah dude yeah these people was not about reparations we need that money back we need a refund on the i don't understand swing low sweet chariot it just looks strange i want that cash i don't know all the politics of it i don't understand. Swing low, sweet chariot, bro. It just looks strange to me, man. I want that cash, man. I don't know all the politics of it.

I don't know all the details of it. All I know is we've been in there for 20 years preparing them for this and then four days. Well, the bigger problem, then we can move on. The bigger problem with the Taliban running Afghanistan is they're the cover for all the terrorists. Like Al-Qaeda, ISIS,is now they're gonna be able to grow here's a couple of them right here dude this is also a the life factory has this night i've seen it before they're just chanting death to america but they seem friendly at the same time dude every now and then it's not friendly look

red rover red rover y'all can have that bitch. I'm sick of this kind of shit, man. This is the kind of shit that make you start a sale back at home. People at home are like, oh, we should do that here, over here. In Akron, you know? Should we get into a debate club? Yeah. Powerful joke. As long as we're solid on the fact That I would be Drafted

I think Who would get drafted Out of us Him All the way Him No way dude I'd be the last pick

It's him He don't have the test scores He don't have the test scores No but look at his body dude Huh Look at his physique Harvard grads on the front lines No but

These are the kind of idiots You have Yeah In the military You'll be the guy Shows up with a musket and a knife and run. And you're like, bitch, it's 2021. He's going to be trying to talk to him first.

Everybody settle down. All right, everybody be cool, man. Be cool, man. You got to send a rough rider in. Bro, not, dude. Bro, you ever been in a long conversation with that dude, bro? He fit three or four sentences in, bro. He fucking zones out, man.

Yeah, that has nothing to do with fighting, though, man. That's what I'm saying. But it ain't fisticuffs, man. You know what I'm saying? This dude will start a podcast in a fucking foxhole. He's going to be doing all this shit, dude. Wait, who are you, John Wick all of a sudden? Yeah, for reals.

Oh, my bad, Quintin. Like, what the fuck you talking about? Y'all bitches ain't prepared, dude. You would probably get drafted by the other group. What are you talking about? Y'all ain't even fucking prepared, bro. I feel like you'd go over and switch teams. No, y'all.

Well, I'm the only one that could get away with that. That's true. Let me tell you, if we start losing, I'm like, eh. Me too, though. I put that scarf on. Yeah. Oh, one high towel, and he's fucking slimmed out, bro. Yeah, man.

I'm sneaking right out of there. Yeah, dude. I'm pointing right out of there. Yeah, dude. I'm pointing right at this. Theo Varra, he right there. Bro, you know two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35, bro? Yeah. Most of the people in the studio do this. True, man.

Some shitty hair up in here. I'll say this, though, that more than 50 million men in the U.S. suffer from male pattern baldness, MPB. Thank God for Keeps. They offer a simple, stress-free way to keep your hair, man. It's low-cost. Treatments start at just $10 a month, man. Discreet little package. Comes to the crib.

Your girl don't have to know you're trying to keep them locks. Well, one thing that I didn't like is if I was trying some medicines and stuff, I had to hide them or I had to sneak them in the house. It's embarrassing, Doug. And I have to be nervous when I buy them at the store like oh it's for my cat or something the guy's like you don't have a cat it's not good dude prevention is key treatments can take four to six months to see results so act fast if you're ready if you're ready to take action i'm ready are you i'm so ready all right baby if i take this stuff my shit's gonna grow into my forehead really dude

i have a small forehead i'd bring it down a little. You could get another half inch down. You think? I think so, yeah. I would get some hair transplant. Or I would just get some keeps. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash k-a-t-s to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's keeps.com slash k-a-t-s to get your first month free.

Keeps.com slash cats man i'll tell you this one thing that i like that grubhub is doing man and i know you definitely have eaten a good bit in your day and that they are doing this thing where they're supporting good restaurants by delivering the food exactly the way the restaurant serves it man i've worked from some places not grub hub oh they've thrown in the yard yeah yeah i'll do it i ordered one time it was um i ordered i think it was like a rack of lamb or something they delivered it in an omelet oh you rich rich they delivered it an omelet it doesn't come in an omelet but now man you how about what they're doing with panera i know your fat ass like some carbs man yeah about what they're doing with Panera? I know your fat ass likes some carbs, man. With Panera, they're doing a little extra with Panera.

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All right, what do you got, Nick? What up, King of the Sting? It's Kyric back at it with another debate club. So we just had a pretty progressive week in the entertainment industry. And I want to know who you're more proud of. Are you more proud of Matt Damon for stopping his usage of the F-slur? Or are you more proud of Britney Spears for getting on that sticky conservatorship with her pops. You know what I'm saying?

Alright. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. She got out of it? She got out of her dad, but here's the thing. So she's in control of her own life now? No. There's going to be a new guy that comes in, but she gets, I think, gets to pick the new guy coming in. What? Because the dad was just like, hey, do shows. I'm taking all the money.

Is that like picking what slave owner you want? want a little bit my thing is like in the court of law like obviously she has some mental shit going on like the law is just not gonna give somebody power over you like oh yeah she shaved her head like something's going on there we don't know about like that was 15 years ago yeah you know what i'm saying back in but the britney spurs i'm more proud of matt dam, I guess. But this is why celebrities don't do fucking interviews and podcasts and stuff. Why?

You know, he's Jason Bourne, so you never see him on a podcast, and he's like, yeah, I used to use the F term in a joking way,

and then my daughter got all mad at me, so I stopped using it. And everyone's like, oh, cancel Matt Damon. So he's grown. So he has some growth

in his life. He's from Boston, isn't he? It's the Boston National Anthem, the F word. It's in there. Oh, say can you. Hey. I mean, come on.

Don't they put that in every song? Yeah. We wish you a merry. We wish you a merry. It's like, I don't know. I just think that you can't have some personal growth without people getting on your case. Isn't what they...

So should he just still say it? So he should just say it all the time now if he's going to get this kind of flack. If he gets canceled. My thing is, if you're going to cancel that person for saying that word or someone who says something like that,

so you think that's going to help them? They're going to get worse. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like if you tell that person, oh, you've said that, you're off the island. You think they're going to get less racist? They're going to be fucking pissed. But they're also kind of free now. what i'm saying like if you tell that person oh you've said that you're off the island you think they're gonna get less racist they're gonna be but they're also kind of free now it's like once you like oh okay you know i say it good i'm in

yeah yeah let me drop a couple here here and here one there are one everywhere a little bit yeah you know yeah but this is why celebrities are doing those podcasts man they get in trouble this is one thing you thought it was like a fun story about his family. Fun and entertaining. I thought, you know, maybe Robin being bisexual would be better than...

But we knew that, right? Like, I knew Robin was... Robin always had sugar in his tank. Like, no kid growing up was like, man, I want to be Robin. Never. Well, also, his eye things, there was no...

If you look at it, the early one, there's no holes. He's just a blindfolded little thot running around, a little fucking man. You know what I'm saying, dude? He was obviously used for sex, bro.

He's a little twink, man. Bruce Wayne's a billionaire. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anybody that shows up in a cape, blindfolded, and tries to run after you is being sexually assaulted. Looking for a gangbang. Yeah.

So Britney or... Well, here's the thing. I think the only way her dad even could still be a part of her life was... He came in later too, Theo. Remember that she got super famous. He was never around as a kid. What's the situation? Like management?

Like I don't... I'm confused. He controlled everything. Her money, her income. I didn't know that. Her cell phone. Like she got all crunk on Instagram because she got a fucking iPad. Like he controlled everything.

And that's why she stopped working i don't know brendan that sounds and you don't believe him either and this sounds look it up uh chin knows the story hashtag free britney you stupid fuck i know about free britney but she didn't get she has millions of ipads brendan you can't believe on her instagram she was crunk over the one ipad man so she never had technology? I don't know. She can't see her kids. She could see her kids. Dude, Kayfab gots the kids.

They must have cut the eye holes out in this image, bro. And look at this one. I'm not saying this, but the dude on the left is. Watch what you say. Watch what you say. Adam West. You know what I'm saying, bro. You're about to say something.

Adam East, bro. If you look at the dude on the left, bro. Far East. Yeah, he has a little too much rouge on for me. That dude is definitely Bring up back that picture man. We ain't done with these guys. We ain't done with these guys.

That dude is great, don't they? Yeah, they do look like great men, but I'm just saying. They look like a gay couple. The guy on the left. No, they look tough, man. With the bat on his chest and with the blatantly Asian look. No, they're not Asian, man. Zoom in on the guy on the left man with the bat on his chest and with the blatantly asian no they're not asian man zoom in on the guy on the left zoom in on the eyes that they cut out in that mask you tell me what's wrong with that man nothing's wrong okay eric you telling me this guy ain't

asian bro no they're not i'm looking at robin there's no way if steve had that on could we tell I'm looking at Robin. There's no way. If Steve had that on, could we tell? You know what I mean? If it was Steve in that thing, we wouldn't know if he was. Oh, he could be a white guy all of a sudden. You know what I mean?

Dude, they look great. And Robin got that little. Well, the Schumacher Batmans, you know, we had the nipples on the suit. Yeah. Heavy nips. Yeah, it was like. He's Asian, man. No, no, they're the white guys. And with that wuhan

symbol on his chest look at his chest no man come on bro yeah dude that's that freaking international uh appetizer man they're serving that to everybody now and there you are right there stevie with your brother finally spending time with and how you never got to it stevie how was the pod was it were you guys friendly with each other yeah of course of course i just haven't spent a lot of time with them he's been busy yeah dude so it was good seeing him yeah i'm worried about his health though i really am he's so heavy yeah dude he needs to does he acknowledge it or he's like nah i'm good he doesn't even ask eric i mean have you brought it up to him yeah i went into a podcast and it was like, well, because my eye get, because he's always calling me fat.

You know, that's the big joke. And who's fat out of you two? You know, well, per capita. Per capita. No, Eric's in better shape for sure. Eric's in better shape. Eric's in better shape for sure. Yeah, I think Eric looks like he's in good shape.

When I saw you today, you seemed like he was in good shape. That's 40 pounds, man. Did you really? 40 pounds? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 40 pounds. Damn. Is your girl like, damn, daddy?

Yeah. Must be happy. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm tossing your girl like, damn, daddy. Yeah. Must be happy. You know what I mean? I'm tossing her around like, girl. Putting pepperonis on her back. You know what I'm saying? Don't do that. What is that?

Well, it was pizza. Don't do that. It was pizza reference. Yeah, that's what it was. I still like food, motherfucker. Don't act like- Have you been doing special- Don't act like I stopped eating.

Have you been doing them specialty foods? Like what? You know, like- Like they mail you the calories. It's a little box. It's got nine calories in it. Oh, I love those like food- Prep?

Like the prep? Yeah. Yeah, I love prep stuff. Are you using like Sunfair or anything like that? I use Sunbasket. You know what I mean? And you can get 40%- $40 off if you go to my— There's Sunbasket.

It's like a pre-prepped stuff. They like deliver your meals. But you can still cook it. That's old after about three weeks, though. Oh, you put it in the microwave. No, no, no, no. You cook it yourself. Man, y'all aren't listening to this, man.

This is why y'all wouldn't get drafted, bro, because y'all don't fucking listen. The Colonel will want y'all to listen. Y'all get shot. What war are we going to do afghanistan's over huh is it do you see the commercial a minute ago yeah we're out but we're gonna have to go back but i think we're gonna have to go back yeah and it's actually a way to prove that we should still be there it's like everybody's like what are we still doing there okay pull out then we're like get them back there because like it's it must be difficult for people who are very progressive liberal to deal with this. Because it's like, what they're going to do to the women there now? Yeah, they can't.

You know what I mean? And now these are the ones that are like, no war, no war. We're like, okay, pull them out. Now it's going to be like, you want to help these women now? Because that takes troops, money, and fighting. And obviously they can't fight. Which one do you fighting. And obviously they can't fight. Which one do you want? And obviously they can't fight.

Yeah, clearly. Because the Taliban only had, I think they said, 30,000 troops against their 300,000. It was 25,000. Somebody's got a couple trillion in their pocket who are like, yeah, we're training them. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, we're training them, and it's just a bunch of Barry's boot camp over there. It's a CrossFit gym. It's like a CrossFit. What kind of training is this? With a grenade area. Throwing rocks and shit. Yeah, they just on a bow flex.

They got a bunch of slingshots and shit. Because I don't get it. Listen, I don't know all the facts, all the details. We just some comics talking about the shit,hots and shit because i don't get it listen i i'm not i don't know all the facts all the details we just some comics talking about the shit you know before you like it doesn't feel right though does it don't feel like they took over in four days common sense of it to me when i heard i was like because wasn't it shocking to know that we've been there for 20

years yeah i wasn't it's almost like britney spears conservative ship i was like that bitch been in that shit for 13 years i wasn't even thinking about it yep so i'm like wow we've been over there 20 years since bush and and then you go okay we're training uh we're doing all this stuff we're making sure that they could take over and they'll be fine then we're like okay the one president comes in like you know what i'm tired of this war pull them the fuck out and then in four days damn but even biden was i i didn't think it'd be this yeah he was like goddamn show a little pride fellas like goddamn it's like if they can't fight for their own country why are we doing it yeah and then you know it's bad because did you see the american plane taking off and they're all

hanging on to it and then yeah it takes off and the dude falls yeah i saw that video dude that was real that was real have you ever missed a flight, though? It fucking sucks, dude. It's different to work. You know, because you've got to get to your show. This guy suicided himself. You know what I mean? You've got to get to the show. You missed that layover trying to get to Buffalo. That was real, the dude falling out of the plane. That was real.

Was it real? Some people are saying that's fake. What people are saying? That they edited that in for hype. The dude jumping out of the plane. The same people that think he'll COVID his face. He's trying to hang under the wheel. Look, I will say this.

It is obvious. That's what happened? Eric, you're right, man. I thought he jumped out. No. He fell off. I thought he jumped out of the plane. He fell off. He was trying to hang under the wheel. Look, I will say this. It is obvious. That's what happened? Eric, you're right, man. I thought he jumped out. No. He fell off. I thought he jumped out of the plane. He fell off.

He fell off. Oh, my God. What was his thought? You got to have upper body strength if you're going to take a fight like that. At what point did he realize this ain't going to go well? Like, was it on the runway? He's like, I got this. He might have thought, if I hang on, they're going to stop me.

Oh, this bitch is taking off. Oh, God, God. And then it's 700 miles an hour. He's like, oh, hell no. That's why you got to work out on those. What is that vibrating plate thing that you did do? Oh, I know what you're talking about. Oh, he could have stayed on there longer.

I don't think that's going to help you stay on a fucking B-52 bomber. Dude, if you did that for probably two hours a day, I bet you he'd make it at least a couple hundred miles. But I agree, Eric. They basically must have trained these dudes at a whole rate. That's not going to help you, man. What are you talking about? Yeah, whole body vibration plates. This is the training.

And then they sent the invoice. And I'm saying, and they sent the invoice. And the invoice was like $800,000. And they were like, for what? Yeah. Look, yeah. They trained these bitches at an orange theory, bro. That's what happened.

With a tripwire section. No, what's the one? They said these bitches are in shape and they can't fight. What's the name of that gym that's always next to like an Applebee's? You know. Planet Fitness? No, it's not Planet Fitness. That's the saddest place in the world.

It's like a lot of women go to it, you know. Oh, Scurves. Curves. Curves. Curves is always next to like a Chili's. Yeah. It is. It doesn't make sense.

Or a Perkins. And they even merge them. I saw Apple Curves the other day. Oh, man, dude. With some whipped cream and a top two. Yeah, that's what he trained him at because I don't get any weights. But maybe, you know, I'm sure people in the comments are already going off about like, this is what really happened.

Like they fucking know. Yeah. They don't know. Yeah, if you're fans of this show, you're not necessarily. We need some militarios to maybe call in and give us some guidance, I think. I think so. Tim Kennedy will call in for sure. And call Timmy.

I think a lot of military people, though, already feel like that this was going to happen. Right. Like if you were over there, you know that they ain't. You know when somebody's weak. You know what I'm saying? You know when your truck drives off and there's three dudes out there that are playing dice outside of a subway. You know these motherfuckers are going to get took down.

Yeah. So they knew. They were like, if we leave, this is what's going to happen. I think a lot of military people felt that way, and here we are. At the same time, probably feeling like, why are we here? But maybe. Yeah, I wonder what real military guys say. They're military guys say yeah we should be back there man they're fucked all this worked and we've lost like lives over there so it's like for what you're just gonna

dip out why why these guys put their lives on the line if you're just gonna dip out it's very political too though man well it's the age-old story that why do we go to all these countries i feel like and try to in it's our duty and put put our will. It's our duty. I'm not saying it isn't. But after this, after seeing how this works, if this is really what's going on, a lot of this could be actors, bro. But after seeing... Eddie Bravo, take it easy.

They ain't actors. Bro, the one group look like a... The only actor is that white girl being like, they're saying kill Americans, but it's actually pretty lit in here. That's true, bro. That was weird. That was so weird.

She's obviously- Shit the pool get up to. She's over there to get some of that sand wiener. You know that. That lady, she ain't trying to learn us. I'm sorry. Get that dirt serpent. Oh, yeah.

Sand wiener. Bro, did you see the video? They got one dude hollering at her, pulling on the back of her little skirt. That's an AK-47 trying to holler at her. Yeah, man. This shit is crazy. She's like, they're even allowing her to talk. Wait till Taliban takes over.

Women can't talk, man. They don't want to do shit. So I'm thinking if one of us went over as a colonel, you couldn't go. You get the drum. Or he flies the drone. I could do that. Yeah, but they... It it's like a video game i could do that we have to disguise the drone as a bird or something they will not like it yeah a bird or you know fake put fake wings on a drone like an american eagle drone no american eagle get done done down immediately you

need an afghanistan warbler or something yeah You need something that they're going to see and be like, oh, that's one of ours. You need that sand vulture. I feel you. Is there a national bird in Afghanistan? Yeah. What is there, Nick? You guys think. Do they have any animals out there?

They got camels, right? I love that you have a crack team ready for this kind of nonsense. The golden eagle. That's their fucking mascot? The golden eagle is also a gay dude that's never been with a woman. It's code for that. You know that, right? That's really a term, Theo?

You know that, right? No, I don't know that. You know that, dog. You know that. I'm doing that, bro. And you're going to get it again unless you start being honest with it. Maybe Stevie's like the comfort animal

where we just tickle and shit after war. No, I'm okay with that. We come back and rough you up a little bit. I used to wrestle. He's in the barracks. Oh, yeah. And the boys are like, get that Stevie guy out of here.

Oh, yeah. No way. 100 pounds. Power high. Yeah, Bob did too. No way. This dude got medalsals and ribbons Yeah

Dude there was nine people At that high school No no They're known for the wrestling program And you were in a Look it up Look it up Power high

Look it up Stevie you were in a singlet Yeah I was yeah Did you do the Andre the Giant I feel like I had a moment though I had your haircut In high school

Oh shit We need to see pictures of this No we did That power flow yeah send it send it to nick you had that fucking power mullet out the back yeah i got i had the rat tail yeah in 1991 oh yeah they had it then that was popular then it came with a lot of vehicles and it meant you were really getting some leg too back then i was i was i went to church camp and you know did the Bible study there.

That's where you got the best drugs. You think I'm not getting laid? I could have a baby by now. Can you text me that picture? I'm trying to find it. Well, he finds it. You want to play this one? Oh, here we go. Here we go. Now, Bobby has a mullet too right now,

doesn't he? is this peach flavored lemon god damn it that's you bro yeah dude that is uh i gotta say steve damn this is the team who can't buchanan high school uh damn now eric this has got to be offensive to you halfway wow and he was black in high school. Take it easy, man. Take it easy. Steve was literally black in high school. Damn, bro. God damn, Steve. Were you in blackface?

Damn, bro. On picture day, he was like, give me that. Dude, what were you drinking? Give me that shoe tar. Were you drinking chicken, dude? You look black now. Dan, did you eat all the eel that day? Why are you so black in that picture, bro?

I was tan. Those are those clucking eels he was eating, baby. Dan, you're the token black guy on the wrestling team, bro. You'd be the trumpeter in the war, bro. Yeah, but not that good trumpet. All right, Nick, I texted you the picture. Well, especially now we know you got these black roots, bro. You play the saxophone, bro.

I went to the beach a lot. That's why, yeah. You be the Lisa Simpson of the day of war, bro. That's who I am, Lisa Simpson, dog. That's you, Stevie. Eric, do you think, man, I like thinking about this stuff because, yeah, it's like, do you think the military, do you think that people really are like, do you think they feel like they were used kind of? I don't know if they think they were used. I think when you join the military, you know, you sign up for whatever their thing is.

But I think that, like, you know, you want it to have a purpose. So it's like, okay, we'll go do this. And we're told it's for this, A. And then it's like, after 20 years, you're like, okay, what is the purpose of this? But they can also see what's going on there. The people that got their foots on the ground, they see what's going on. They know how people are being treated. They know that if they, like, they were already saying that. Some of the military were already saying like, hey, we got to help the people that helped us get out of there. Because it's going to be retribution on those people from the taliban yeah you know so they know it's like hey we can't just up and leave

but there's no good way to get out of this how we just you know there's no like easy transition and we left in the night right we left like the damn indianapolis colts baby we left or whenever we left like the like cleveland browns who's the colonel or Art Snell or whatever? Theo looks identical to the guy from Metal Gear Solid right now. You do. Bring that shit up, Nick. You look identical. And then bring up the picture of Stevie that's going to get us canceled, if you don't mind. We get Stevie canceled.

Oh, shit. That's you, dude. Definitely. One of the greatest video games ever. Yeah, one of them was real hard. I can't get past the first fence. That game was tough. I remember when I beat it, I was so fucking good.

Goldeneye was a tough game, too. That's a good game. I played it on hard. Yeah, it was a tough game. Alright, on July 20th, MVMT Movement is celebrating their 8-year anniversary by running a huge site-wide sale if you need

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28% off. Wow. go to mvmt.com slash cats and we enjoy 28 off wow that's 28 off state site wide site wide at mvmt.com slash cat join the movement join the movement hey brennan hey theo this is enrique nebraska here with my girlfriend she could be be a plan. That looked like some 90 day fiance. What'd you say? He said, should she do all that? It looked like a 90 day fiance situation. Or she was like a prisoner.

Dude, be nice, man. This is his girlfriend. Don't do that. I know what you're doing. Get the gat, baby. Y'all want war? What does this dude want? Fucking war, bro? Let's start it over. I'm. Get the gat, baby. Y'all want war? What does this dude want? Fucking war, bro? Let's start it over. I'm so sorry. Sorry, man.

Hey, Theo. This is Enrique in Nebraska here with my girlfriend. Save me. Question for you. Debate club, actually. Should the man always drive or should they take turns? Personally, in our relationship, if we- Look at him looking at her.

See what's okay. If I take my car, I drive. Gang gang. She's not having it, man. Dude, that could be Bobby Lee, too, with his hair dyed out. Like with a blowout? It's Bobby with a blowout. Totally.

What do you mean? I don't trust your old family. You see that other black picture of you a minute ago? Yeah, yeah. Your old family's shapeshifters, dude. Yeah. Bunch of fucking little. Well, Bobby was in Star Wars. You know what I mean?

Yeah, a bunch of Taiwan Transformers over here. Dude, your whole family's fucking shifting shapes, baby. Bunch of Ewoks, bro. Dude, this dip's making my eyes hurt a little. Oh, there it is. Look at that. Wow. Get the get.

They're similar. Yeah, there it is. Look at that. Wow. Get the get. They're similar. Yeah. Like, if he saw Bobby, he'd want to smash and not know why. You know what I mean? He's just kind of feeling it. She's just rubbing on Bobby.

God damn. He's got a feeling. Like, God damn. Girl, stop looking at me like that. She's in better shape than Bobby, I will say that, though. And she does have that, what is that hair called, Chin?

Highlight. What do you mean? Her roots say that, though. And she does have that brazilian... What is that hair called, Chin? Highlight. Her roots grew out, though. I'm trying to let Chin keep his job by saying something. Nobody else wants to help him. The roots are growing out. Let's save the Taliban. Did y'all have a meeting and you were like, Chin is not saying enough.

Every episode. Well, I'm still scared finding out about his past. Remember? He was in an Asian gang. You weren't here. He was going to kill somebody and got out of it. I was just around gang members. Yeah.

Oh, you're like the guy that drove the car, but you didn't go into the bank? Bitch, you was in a gang. Oh, you had an account at the bank? You were the front man, huh? But Chin had a plan to kill these dudes. And they didn't show up. And Chin was like, they lucky that day. We were like, what?

I said I was lucky. If something happened, that would have been the end of everything. Yeah, but you're saying that you knew you would have killed them. Yep. Yeah. You're saying I'm so lucky that they didn't show up. Because I would have shot these motherfuckers. And Chin was like, I'll be locked up for life.

You need to look at that. Theo's a little nervous now. You need to stop talking shit. You don't know who you working with. You don't know who you working with. I wasn't strapped. The people around me were strapped, not me. Oh, you didn't have a gun?

No. We need to send our troops to wherever Chin's from then. You think that that is going to work in court? Like, you think he was going to be in the court like, listen, I didn't have a gun. I was just with the guys with the gun. And if they shot, I didn't have a gun. I was just with the guys with the gun. And if they shot me,

then they had the gun. I'm just a bookkeeper. Basically. Like the Untouchables. Remember that movie? Oh, yeah. That was a great movie. How great was that movie?

It was good. Wasn't it? Costner, Kevin Costner. Kevin Costner? This should be called King and the ADD. I love it. This guy's got a relationship advice question.

Wait, we didn't even answer the last guy's question. Who should drive? Yeah, what did that guy want, the last guy? Should the man always drive? I always drive. Yeah, I always drive too. But I like when my girl drives sometimes. I'm tired.

I'm like, hey, can you drive? But do you bug? You. I don't even. You bug your girl while she drives. Yeah. You bother her. You she drives. Yeah. You bother her. You bother her.

Yeah, I'm like. You're the backseat driver. Yeah, I'm like, where the fuck are you going? I like that. You know. How do you not know where you're going? And that's why I drive. Otherwise, we'll fight.

I'm like, hey, go around. Why are you going to stay behind the fucking giant truck? Go around, bitch. I also like to grab my girl's titty while she's driving. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the fun stuff. Do they constantly, your significant others constantly go, like, when you're braking,

you're coming up to a stop. I'm like, I see the car in front of me. Like, it's just constant. Oh. It causes a lot of fights. Oh, my chick is always saying to me, like, you know, you're road rage, you know? Yeah. And all I said was like, what you doing?

You know, like, that's road rage to her. That's a? Yeah. And all I said was like, what you doing? You know, like that's road rage to her. That's a white girl. Yours is white. Yours is Asian. Yeah. Yep. Is that why you do all the driving though? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. This all makes sense. That's racist, bro. Is it though?

Name the best fucking Asian F1 driver. I love it. Hey, back us up, man. That's a racist joke, man. Dude, Asians can drive. That's rich coming from you. Chin, back me up, man. We can race.

Remember, we're racers. Dude, I'm defending our country, bro. I'll tell you this. If they walked in here and picked one person to fight right now for us, it would be me, probably.

Maybe because you're in the fatigue. Why do you want to go to war all of a sudden? Wait, wait, wait. Even common sense, that wouldn't make sense. So someone would walk in, and we would say, let's just say we said what we do and what we used to do. You think they would pick you?

I used to do light combat, I would say. Medium to light. Even the wrestler would be over you. I'm above 35. Yeah, I'm light. No, this dude, yeah. But you're nimble, man. This dude is lunch, bro. Above 30, above 35. This dude But you're nimble, man. This dude is lunch, bro.

Above 30. Above 35. This dude sleeps in a sardine can. This dude is fucking lunch over here. I think the former UFC fighter and the ex-gangster. I'm not a gangster. Yeah. No, you said it, Chin.

Yeah. Around me. This would be top two. It would go Brendan, Chin. But also, diversity hires, you guys would probably get taken. Or Gianni, since he's on power. And we're back. Yeah. you guys would probably get taken. Or Gianni, since he's on power. And we're back. Gianni would probably get taken.

Who's blacker, you think, you or Gianni on power, Eric? When watching his Instagram, he's a little blacker. He'd be playing it up on his Instagram, too. He does. All of a sudden, he's like, yeah, he's doing a lot of this. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? The baby up here. I'm like, whoa, Gianni. Take it down a sudden, he's like, yeah, he's doing a lot of this. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? The baby up here.

I'm like, whoa, Johnny. Yeah, man. Take it down a notch, bro. He has to get de-blacked before he comes home. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I have seen my children. They got to send him to Cracker Barrel. Just to like, okay, I'm back, everybody.

How you doing? I'm back to regular. They send him to a pickleball court. Just real white shit, bro. Speaking of road rage, did you guys see this video? This is good. Who's this? And look at the way he controls the neck, dude.

Look how he controls this guy. Yeah, he does. It's just a random someone caught some guys fighting after a road rage incident, but you got to see the end. Take this dick. Dude, he's got a little head. Oh, dude. Smart.

Knees. You done? Is that Americana, Brendan? I'm done. Okay. Damn, that shit. Did you get my stuff? Thank you.

I appreciate it. All right, dude. That was weird. See, that's that Game of Thrones shit, man. I love that. That's in Colorado, too, probably. Can I tell you something? Yeah, what. That was weird. See, that's that Game of Thrones shit, man. I love that. That's in Colorado, too, probably. Can I tell you something? Yeah, what was that?

What the hell was that? Man shit is what that is. That's some man shit. That's man shit. He was like, the guy was like, you know what? You can beat my ass. You got me. I'm tapping out.

Sorry about what I said. And the guy was like, that's all I needed from you. Respect. That's all I needed. That's what happened right there? Yeah. Praise God. That's all I needed.

And he said, hurry up before the cops come. We don't want to get in trouble. The guy who got his ass beat. Yeah, he was like, come on, dude. I'm not going to call. That's a smart guy. He was what happened right there? Yeah. Praise God. That's all I needed. And he said, hurry up before the cops come. We don't want to get in trouble. The guy who got his ass beat. Yeah, he was like, come on, dude. I'm not going to call. That's a smart guy. He was like, I don't want to call. You got me.

You win this one. Let's move on. I'm not taking two L's. I'm not getting beaten up and having to explain to somebody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I did some shit. I was getting there.

Dude, did y'all see, speaking of this kind of fighting shit, that stuff that would happen at the football game? Yeah. At the Rams game but how about this though the dude slipped no no no but how about this

the dudes fight with everybody because then he gets hit with a beer and then you find out it's a fat chick threw the beer from the back oh that's what caused the scuffle you know what I mean

because he gets hit and he's like oh hell no and just starts swinging and she's just like and I'm like I can't stand that yeah if you can't be in the fight don't instigate the fight yeah get your big ass in there girl right you know because then you can't stand that. Yeah. If you can't be in the fight, don't instigate the fight.

Yeah, get your big ass in there, girl. Right, right. You know? Because then you can't get a gut punch. Because now it's going to be like, oh, you can't hit the girl. Right? But look what happened. This is the other side.

This is a preseason game. We're talking preseason. Eric, explain what's happening. They're just fighting. They're just dumb football fans. They're just drunk, fighting. They're cheering for the same team. There's a lot of white dudes in this shit.

You can't see the chick throw it. There's another video where you see it, though. It's from the behind. Now it came in and hit her. This isn't even the one, man. That's not the one. It was another one. It's like one guy, and there was a black guy with him, too.

They were scuffling with the people. Then the beer comes, and he starts tapping. He was doing well until his fat ass slipped. Then slipped from this wasn't doing well i don't know that's when you got to get down there put him in a hard scarf lock him out yep he's still doing jiu-jitsu too i'll fucking lock that dude out of his own life are you doing jiu-jitsu now that's what he is he feeling himself he feeling himself i'll challenge y'all in two fucking years, you idiots. In two years? Yeah, dude.

You have to get to different levels. Watch this chick. She's the one that's going to throw. Oh, there she is. Little birdie, huh? Look at her dress like a referee too, bitch. Get out of here. I'm sorry, but that just makes me mad when women dress like authority figures.

Boom. And then he thinks it's one of them. Oh, she did it. Yeah. Oh, there's another angle you can see from behind. And here's what I want to know. Why are he thinks it's one of them. Oh, she did it. Yeah. Oh, there's another angle you can see from behind. And here's what I want to know. Why are they all the same dude?

Yeah. Yeah, it's four of the exact same guys. Why are they all the same? Oh, I see what you're saying, Eric. Yeah, she did it and dipped. She slipped and she did it and dipped.

What dude punches them in the ass? Holy moly. One guy punched them right in the ass. I'd pay for this. This is some weak shit, though, man. Yeah, but this will really get that knot out of your back.

I'll tell you that. Yeah, some people pay good money for this, bro. Bro, I used to pay $50, dude, two Vietnamese dudes downtown, put you in a dog bite suit, and beat the fuck out of you, son. How much was that? 11 years ago. It was 55. 55, tipped him, 60 bucks.

But was there a happy ending? I mean, he was happy to get out of there. It wasn't like his little... It wasn't like a little dog. I like how he's avoiding the question. But was there a happy ending? Not like Stevie's. I never came.

I had blood in my urine once. All right. But I don't count that as it coming. This guy is looking for some advice. That's Gianni, dude. Yeah, what did you have to say? Obviously, it's one of Gianni's other brothers, dude. There's so many of them.

There's a lot of them. As if spam spleen wasn't enough of a brother, we got this fucking guy right here. Fucking ink gristle. ATV. What do you do when a chick slashes some tires? Currently sitting in my car with two slashed tires. It's the second woman that's done it to me. ATV. Yeah, Kingdra's thing of retaliation when somebody slashes your tires. What do you do? Do you go back and do it to them? I mean, the bitch is

broke, doesn't even have a car, so can't do that. Cut the sides of her feet. Or do you take the high road? Pop her Air Maxes, dog. Or cut her what's the back of your muscle in your leg? Achilles. Calf. What is it? Your calf muscle.

This guy makes bad choices. Yeah. I meant to cut out the part with the abortions because he sounds like such a piece of shit. But just pretend that didn't happen. What do you do if someone slashes your tires? Those chicks don't have cars, so you can pop the air maxes or something. Wait, she left out a lot of key information. Yeah, we don't know her side of the story, man.

Yeah, the key is like two women slashed my tires because you probably fucked her sister. You know what I mean? Yeah, you probably forced them. Maybe they wanted you to pull out and you didn't. I have a feeling this segment of the show is going to be played in a courtroom at some point. Because this guy, Gianni, what's his name,

seems hella shady, bro. Shady as hell. Yeah, for sure for sure yeah i wish you would get some more info like why did they slash her like for a girl to slash her tires and the abortions though maybe he didn't pay for maybe he wasn't contributing to the abortion oh he contributed something that's a good point do you pay for the abortion or do you let them pay for it, Brendan? I feel like he should pay for it. Yep. We could pay for it. We could probably do it for him.

I think that guy's out. I think it's been done. I think that ship has sailed. Oh, damn. You want to get him some new tires, too? How far you want to go for this piece of shit? Yeah, you're right, man. Let's get the lady a bike.

Yeah, we need to find out who these women are. I would love for them to be like, come on live and be like, well, this is what he did. And you know what I mean? Like this guy's coming across like, Hey, like,

and he thinks that we gonna coastline his bullshit. He did something. Yeah. Yeah. This guy's like, Hey guys, they're going to get me killed. Some asshole.

He's like, you believe this shit, man. Two abortions. They slashed my fucking tires. This guy, he could like, this kind of guy that like send a message from jail.

Hey, what up, King of the Sting? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I'm on my second stint. You've got 90 seconds left. I'm hating this shit. They're going to call King of the Sting and collect. Do you accept from something correctional facility? Like, fuck off,

man. Like this guy. Unbelievable, dude. He's watching right now being like,, fuck off, man. Like this guy. Unbelievable, dude. He's watching right now being like, fuck those dudes, man. That's Jesus, baby. Theo had to give him money. We already gave $2,500 to convicted felons. That's true, actually. One episode.

He just started giving out money to these convicted felons, man. Forgot about that. He was like, well, man, what we can do for you is give you $500. He was like, thanks? She's like, what? She's like, I'm a former drug addict man i'm not gonna lie i'd buy drugs if i had more money but it's just not in the plans for any feels like cool well we're giving you a thousand dollars and literally you saw a needle just fly through the air right y'all say less he planned it out it was pretty interesting man it's beautiful in here man

now that you can see you know welcome to the podcast deal it looks nice well look man He planned it out. It was pretty interesting, man. It's beautiful in here, man. Now that you can see. Welcome to the podcast, D.O. It looks nice. Well, look, man. Just saying, bro. We got to protect ourselves at all costs. It's like we got to protect our country, dude, from these fiends out there. This guy's got a canter stinging.

What up, Brandon, Steve, Bert? I got a canter stinging. So I work on the road. Fuck us, huh? I got canter stinging. So I work on the road. Fuck us, huh? Closely contract UPS mechanic. But that's not what it is. My question is, would you rather live close to work? Got that camper life, you know what I'm saying?

And here's work. that camper life you know what i'm saying and here's work or as far away as possible and only come in on your shifts because then you got them guys banging on your door hey let me in yeah i can't understand it okay um when when you park your house next to your warehouse job, that's probably why they knock it on your door or like, I don't get this. Yeah, like, hey, you're obviously stealing electricity, bub. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And the Wi-Fi. Yeah, what's going on there?

I think he seemed like a good employee, though, man. He's willing to be right there by work. You got to really respect that. Oh, he's just lazy. That's true. He doesn't want to drive, though, man. He's willing to be right there by work. You got to really respect that. The guy's just lazy. You know, that's true. I want to drive to work. Doesn't want to walk to work. Yeah.

I mean, is he shower? Like, I don't even know. So what was his question? Living close to work. And he lived really close to work. Yeah, I think he had asthma. Oh, and that RV. That's too close to work.

That's too close for me. I think I would like to like your break time, though. Yeah, that's a good point. You go on break. You go home. Get that nap in. Bitch bitch i'll be there for 14 minutes bitch okay listen i'm getting all of that break like every second of that break i'm getting there i'm standing at my door like this okay and i'm back clocking in clocking in that's just crazy i like it then man in that sense i like it and lunch you bragging at lunch yeah oh you're grilling bro

what's up y'all they got their little lunch pails and shit. You out here with a fucking elk. Dude, the worst with your lunch pail was when your thermos, you guys have the thermos, you'd fill up with Kool-Aid. When that spilled out on the sandwich, bro. Game over. Oh, bro. Yeah. Let's see what this guy has to say.

Shit hurt, man. Yo, what's up, Brendan, Theo, Nick Chin, Jimmy Neutron, or whatever the fuck that guy's name is, Vern Troyer. Coming at you from the fat streets of Korea, waiting to harvest a couple of them kidneys, and I had a quick thing to sting it for you. So being English, you can come out to Asia and teach that mother tongue to the next generation.

So, you know, there's a lot of pros and cons that comes with moving abroad, living in a new country, new cultures and that. So I was intrigued to see what you guys think. Yeah, it'd be interesting to get your input on that. So Kinga Stingit, teaching English in Asia. I'm currently in Korea, enjoying that soju and barbecue. But yeah, I know it's different wherever you go.

Just wanted to see what you guys thought. Is this guy trying to send us a message through this message? Yeah. Which Korea is he in? You know what I mean? I don't know. You can find a why. Teach those kids that slang, though, man. You can have English slang.

Well, the first word you teach anybody, I feel like, is usually the F word, N word. Okay. Or pussy. We're going to ask Chin. Oh, you're just skipping it? What do you think, Chin? F word N word Okay What Pussy We're gonna ask Chin Yeah Oh you're just skipping it What do you think Chin Only Theo's going

Yeah well he's in Korea This fool's in Korea Yeah this fool's in Korea He's in Korea dude That would be a great class You know Theo teaching a class In Korea

And he's got the words Written on the wall Okay here's the N word Now you got your E-R You really wanna End on the E. Okay, here's the N-word. Now you got your E-R. You really want to end on the E-R. What class would that be? Look, man. I think it's fascinating.

If you meet somebody from another country, the first thing they teach you is this dirty word, dirty language. That's true. I don't see why this is like a... I don't think there's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't know why he's even bringing it like...

He lives in Korea, you know what I mean? This guy's bored, obviously, over there. Would you go back to your home country and teach English? I thought about doing that job when I was younger. Did you?

I did, yeah. And what turned you off of it, you think? Beautiful Korean women, man. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right, Tim?

Oh, yeah. Honestly, when I went, my parents told me all the time that there's the most beautiful women in Korea. And when I went, two times, I didn't see that many beautiful women. Your parents parents are lying and I saw a lot of girls with kankles. That's just what I saw What's kankles? Angles like those hats at Kid Rock used to wear

Kankles kankles, but okay, but they have thick legs and ashton. No that was when you can't tell the difference between No, that was when you can't tell the difference between Lotta goes with shoulders over there to rather cheeks go right into the shoulders She got them chitties, bro. Chin right in them titties, baby. Just right in. And if she got a jawbone in the tits,

it's like total recall. So she got three titties, you know what I mean? Like, damn. Oh, it's Dane Cook. My name is Jared.

I'm from Mantoo Springs, Colorado, and I had to king it or sting it for you. Basically, I want to know how you guys feel about toupees. No way.

This is what Brian Callen needs. Oh. What? Bro, his hair is terrible. Wow. Dude, that was better than A Quiet Place 2. That right there. That was more surprising than any movie I've ever seen.

Can I tell you something? For a second, I was like, good-looking dude. Yeah. And then, wow, I totally get it. Snap the hair back on, Dad. It looked real. He doesn't look like shit. I mean, he's a great-looking guy, dude.

He's brave enough to do it. No, not like that. He looks like Beck. Yeah, before, he looked like, you know, he was like, you know. They're not itchy. They're affordable. like that like you know before huh yeah before he looked like you know he was like you know they're affordable and i i feel like just if anything if people are going to give you you know the stereotypical things about it like uh like what's that dead ferret on top of your head yeah you can get some people but not really me um i prefer to have it but i want to know what

you guys think bro his hair is lit when he put that wig on that is dope hell yeah dude first of all that off it is awful I like that he went for you look like a serial killer without it yeah like he was like he looked like he looked like Gianni for a second and he just snapped that off and then he took it off and he was like, what up? It puts the lotion on. He looked like Trevor Wallace a little bit, man. A little bit. But now all I see is the thing, though.

But he didn't put it on good yet, though. You know what I mean? It's like when Travis Kelsey shaved his beard. He was in GQ and shit, and now that's him on the right. Holy shit. He should just shave it all off, right? Fuck no. You don't think he looks better on the left? That's not him. The other guy with the toupee.

That's not him on the right. This is what's wrong with the world. I agree. I'm with Theo. That's not him. I'm telling you, it's him. Let's look at the picture. You guys are still out here on this. Let's look at the actual image. It's not. It's him. Let's look at the picture. You guys are just still out here on this. Let's look at the actual image.

It's not that man. Because you don't have the same feelings in your loins. You went from dime piece to shit piece, man. He looks terrible. That ain't him, bro. That's him, bro. That's somebody's dad, dude. Look at the guy's body.

It's not even the same body. It's like it went from Brendan to Theo. They also got a bad angle of him. Like, come on. Either way. They said find the worst picture of him you could possibly find. He just probably got off the field. Yeah, one is fresh off the field.

The other is straight from GQ. Yeah. That's the other thing. He does look like shit. He does look like shit. And that one was photoshopped. They probably fixed his lines and stuff. Come on, man.

They got those apps, man. When he snaps that bitch off. I like that better. Yeah, he almost needs a Hitler mustache with that one right there. He looks like a musician. Yeah. He looks like shit without that wig, man. He could get some alt vulva with that.

Now, can you swim in that thing? Huh? Can he go swimming? Yeah, he can. I'm telling you, though. Have you seen... Oh, yeah. Okay, so the white guy ones, once you sort of see them, you're like, what the hell is that? But the black dude ones?

They look like the Pittsburgh Steeler helmet? No, no, what it's like, because they use, like, glue, and it's like, you can't even tell. Yeah. You wouldn't even know. I feel like black guys, you can tell more. Mm-mm. Like when LeBron used the spray. Oh, that's different, though.

That is different. No, no, that's different though that's no that's different i'm talking about if lebron don't do it right yeah he would like you know shave it all off and put on like oh it'd be like a tight thing like steve harvey holy shit yeah you see what i'm saying look at that yeah you're putting his head in a fucking fire you wouldn't even know yeah yeah that guy was like you went from firehead to normal man that. That's the way to do it. What did you Google right there? That's hilarious. Black fake hair? What did you? Yeah, painted hair.

Carlos Boozer had like that. Yeah, Boozer had that whole tattoo. That's stupid. Go to LeBron. His shit was terrible. And then he had the headband to cover it up. And then it started to fall off. And his boy, Anthony Davis, was like, bro, your hair is all fucked up.

He bought somebody's hair. Didn't he buy that one homeless dude? That dude that's homeless now? Didn't he buy his hair? Deontay Wilder or whatever? Deontay West. Somebody said he bought his hair and made him. Deontay West fucked his mom, huh?

Whoa. That's facts. Why are we saying that? Yeah, no, that's real. Well, I mean. I mean. Is his mom. That's his mom right there with uh mr west no yeah that's

behind him see the the one with the ch there is look at him what that's on that boy is not bronze mom that's on lebron's mom for sure she got a type obviously obviously yeah i see it i like his hair like hell what the fuck that wig no no it looks cool i would say yeah it looks like a musician black people can do more cool stuff with their hair i think so you get they got that they got the designs and shit like what if theo revealed right now that that ain't for real no No, I know it's not real. He just went. He's all. You know what I mean? It is his back hair in the front.

That's true. Some of it is taken out of the back and get in the front. I'm getting more done. He's the only person I know who gets procedures and doesn't need it. He likes surgery. I love surgery. You're one of those. You chill out.

Have you met you? Something's wrong with you. I get surgery. You like it? I mean, if I lost my hair, I would. Rogaine. Rogaine is the worst, dude. What's wrong with that? You know where he grew hair? On his arms.

He put it on his head. No, no, he didn't grow hair. He was taking whatever that kind of stuff. He was growing hair in places that I don't need hair here. You're supposed to put it on your head, right right yeah he had uh cornrows on his hips he had a philly fade on his back dude we had when i was growing up we had a black dude in our neighborhood and he had his his he was like uh paraplegic or whatever this you know this para i guess and he he had they braided his legs around each other and put a big fake bar at his fucking knees bro well it'd be weird if it was the other way theo like if he

was paraplegic from the waist up yeah but his legs were working that's true that's true he was just like this but the legs were like what up but he had his shit fucking just cornrowed his legs. Pretty cool. I need to see pictures of that. Oh, they didn't have pictures back then, man. You could have a drawing of it, I bet. Like it was a court. What are you doing, you little sheep, huh?

John Caparulo has a question. All right, boys. Love both of y'all. Can't understand. Usually I like a little bit of mainly you know, mainly protein in my meal. A bit of protein, bread, and potatoes mainly. But every now and then I'm going to go out with the girl. And I might get a little bit of appetizer.

A little bit of soup. A little bit of salad, actually. Can't hear a thing yet, boys. What? Can't hear a thing yet. What's this guy from? This is. Where's he from? That you understand it? What is this guy from? This is... Where's he from? That was...

Where'd he say he was from? He didn't say. Nebraska? This is a problem with America. Can you understand it? Eat an extra if I want to. Basically. Can you understand it?

It's soup? Should I stay in Korea? What was the question? Like, order food? Should I order food? Just getting soup and salad. No, that's gay, man. No, that's gay, bro.

We need some more hood fucking King of the Sting. This shit has gotten to the point where it's like, should I have this steak or should I just have this tilapia? We're seeing croutons on my salad. You have a lot of fans that look like this guy. Yeah. Then you go over and the chick is dope. Yeah.

Let's see it again. Let's hear. He's not in LA is what I'm saying because she wouldn't be with him. No. Even she was like, it's a dumb ass king or sting it. Yeah. Even she's like, okay, I'm going to definitely eat with someone else next time. Well, she obviously doesn't really like the show, but she has to deal with it because of him.

Damn. You know what I mean? She's got that super salad. She's a beautiful little lady right there. Two eyes, head. Now here's this guy. Very minimal standards. Got a set of ears on her. And this beautiful little...

She got two eyes and a head? I'm in. The vermin with the sermon. I already see that shirt that he's got on, baby. Let's go son What's up? Brendan Theo Chappelle cat even though you guys fired them chin Nick B flips. I got a king Thrift shopping I've been thrift shopping a lot more and sometimes you find them secret hitters Sermon gang gang boy, but let me know what you think. Thrift shopping, king it or sting it. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Oh, that's a king it.

Yeah. They got Theo's shirts with, like, you know, the teams that lost the Super Bowl. Yeah. Dude, they got this. Bunch of fucking Buffalo Bills shirts and shit. They got it, like, so you can get Theo Varma. You can get the Buffalo Bills championship shirts. That's what they do.

I love it. You can get Lyle Lovett. You know what they do with all those old shirts? All those old shirts. I love it. You can get, I love it. You know what they do with all those old shirts? All those old shirts they send to Africa. Because they print both of them for the Super Bowl. So there's a bunch of kids in Africa that are like, God damn, the Bills are fucking dope, dog. They won four years in a row.

Three shopping, though, the rest of it. Also, what ethnicity has this got? Let's figure, let's get to the bottom of this, huh? Since we got a couple of specialists here. I think he's a white mom, black dad. He's Puerto Rican. Ooh. Yeah, he's Puerto Rican.

No, white mom, black dad. No. No. That mustache comes in heavily French or Spanish. No, it's just. Lionel Richie vibe, man. Yeah. When you was over, did you ever go to Spain?

Your family lived in Spain, didn't they? Yeah, I went to Spain. Did you go over there? Did you ever date any women over in Spain? No, no. I just went to visit my parents you know what i mean but was there a way to meet women like a meet spanish not where my parents were you know not where they had the country in spain it just was like it just wasn't wasn't set up it wasn't set up for me to be like okay i'm going out on the town you know what i mean because then my mom

would be like you know oh okay you not going to spend time with your mother. You flew all this way. It wasn't a vacation. Yeah. That's all we got. We should not end on that note, though. This your crack staff? You guys have a talent.

That's true. He don't even want to be the talent anymore. He got one foot out the door. He's supposed to be Sitting right here And he's like Nah Let me check this out again He like re-auditioned In you guys

Do I want to be here? If the king is stinging His soup of the day You know what I'm saying? I like being a guest sometimes It's fun You're a major part of this You like to mix it up man

Yeah it's fun being a guest. I hope I didn't make you guys feel bad about it. Steve has a real problem with it. And it's fun having you guys in here too. It's fun. I love the new studio, by the way. Really nice. It's really nice. It's that thick boy, man. Yeah, this is good stuff. I loved all four of you. The energy was awesome.

We should do this next two weeks if we can. Yeah, I just think it's fun. I've been watching the show with you guys on it. I really like it. You do? Yeah. What do you like about it? I mean, I don't really say much.

Wow. I feel like I'm just going to say. He does all the fucking talk. He pointed right at me. He's like, he won't show. What do you like, Theo? Because I don't feel like I could talk. You guys are comedians.

Yeah, I notice it. You know what I mean? So when you guys do a thing, I just want to chill. No, you're great, dude. Come on. You guys are comedians. I notice it. You know what I mean? So when you guys do your thing, I just want to chill. No, you're great, dude. Come on. You're a great addition. I notice it, man. You're like that fish in the tank that's always over by the little castle.

No, he stays in the castle. He comes out. Everybody's eating. He's just waiting for the scrap. Easy now. Easy. Up where they walk. Up where they walk. Up where they run.

Up where they play all day in the sun. Wandering free. Your Little Mermaid is what he's saying. Okay. Your Belle. That's not Belle. Who was in Little Mermaid? Ariel.

Ariel. Ariel, but they got a new black one now, though. What do you say like that, Doug? That felt racist to me, Doug. He put extra on it. I'm not even black. I'm like, yeah, damn. We got that new Little Mermaid black.

We'll give us a white fucking Space Jam then. Give us a white Space Jam. Okay? You got enough white shit. No, we don't. Turn on any TV. Put Chris Mullen in Space Jam, all right? Yeah, who would be in Space Jam?

Dirk Nowitzki? Yeah, yeah. Luca. Luca Donovan? Put Luca in a frickin' Space Jam, then we'll talk, man. I'm just saying. You want a white Jeffersons, too? No, but I would love to see a white Amistad.

A white Amistad? A white Django? Huh? A white Django? I don't know about that. That's phrasis, Brendan. I would go Amistad. A white Amistad? A white Django? A white Django? I don't know about that. That's phrasis, Brendan. I would go Amistad. That was more of a group. I love that Theo has a line. Come on, man. Too far, Brendan.

When you see this kind of stuff, it's like, okay, come on. That's what I'm saying. Really? Like, Black Annie's the one that got me. Even black people people were like we don't want to do black annie yeah black annie is like come on she might be a dog but you know it's not even just race stuff man they're doing this with all kind of shit like i saw a huggies commercial and the baby had glasses yeah you know i was like really i wear glasses and i thought this was bullshit yeah that's what i'm talking about on the road this weekend? Tonight, I'm at the – is it coming up Thursday enough time for people to go to the Brea Improv?

No. All right. Well, never mind. Yeah, it could. But Friday or Saturday. Either all weekend or just Thursday. No, I'm just doing one night, the Thursday. If they're across the street, they can maybe still catch the show.

Rush over. 9 o'clock. And I canceled my North Carolina shows, but – What would happen shenanigans well i'll tell you later but uh well tell us now man we're here this friday and saturday i'm at the ha in la the ha ha comedy club in la friday and saturday two shows friday going back two shows saturday i'm back daddy and the next week i'm at my favorite place the comedy store in la jolla thursday friday saturday la jolla comedy store but this week friday saturday ha ha comedy club club come get some by the way i'm gonna be at caroline's actually in uh in september by the way i'm gonna be taking care of my mental health if y'all need

me bro you know that and what else that that ship has sailed to you well look you played that drum too many times yeah i don't believe you now. You need a different drum. Just avoid a cry wolf. He's coming back into Harvard, bro. My childhood. Shut up. At some point, you just got to accept who you are. Even the therapist is like, God damn, bro.

My dad was old. It's like, motherfucker, we heard this story already. You're fine. We've already been over this thing. Yeah, man. You've been here seven times. Y'all want to talk shit? I'll be at freaking war if y'all need me, dog. You can find me Tuesday through forever in Afghanistan, man. You've been here seven times. Y'all want to talk shit? I'll be at freaking war if y'all need me, dog.

You can find me Tuesday through forever in Afghanistan, baby. Fucking Kabul, son, holding it down. While these little shapeshifters, you know what I'm talking about? While these little fucking thick Vietnamese freaks over here are over here clowning around at Rooney's Chuckle fucking farm. Rooney's chuckle farm? You doing therapy? Yeah, I am, boy.

And it ain't fucking helping. That's good, man. It is helping. You little quinoa. No, you are. You are. You are. I need that, too.

I'll fucking eat both your legs off your body. All right. Love you guys, man. Therapy's working. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think. I am in flow.

Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls' letter. Instagram famous.

Damn. Hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrew Santino. Every song a hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times

They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz. Meaning y'all edible. Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible. Brennan's son hit me up. He said it's too loud in the club. Can you

pick me up? King and the sting. King and the sting. King and the sting. We sting. Rap king. King and the sting. King and the sting. Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string. King and the sting, king and the sting, king and the sting, bee sting, rat king, king and the sting, king and the sting, got the bees in the a trap Got the cheese on a string