The Golden Hour - Episode 136: Regulators

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Theo, Brendan, Erik Griffin and SteeBee WeeBee are back and the guys talk Theo's UFC tweets and seeing a psychic, girls going through SteeBees social media to get to Theo, Erik feeling like the Nate Dogg of comedy, Bobby Lee's dong, the Milk Crate Challenge, all new KATS in the wild, tips for picking up girls, all new KATS confessions and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I saw the game last night, dude. Saints. That Monday Night Football? Yeah. How's your boy? Who's Teddy Bridgewater's starter? Nope. Jameis Winston. Oh, that's right. Well, or Taysom Hill. Both of them really. I like Hill myself. I like Hill too. He didn't really put on a lot of his display last night, but

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What's that white powder? That's Coke, bro. Hopefully. Boy, the head is flat enough to just take a line right off that baby's head. This guy's all, man, f*** you guys, man. That's my newborn son. Just kidding, man. It's a f***ing comedy podcast.

Yeah, we got you, man. Don't send a picture like this, then, if you don't want to get clowned. Yeah, I know. Your flat baby ass head. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Back off my broccolini Get your life together

It is Don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude The other day I saw a Uh oh Physic Psychic You saw Psychic?

Yeah How was that? How much was it though first of all? Huh? It was 80 I had a coupon it was actually 68 did you use a groupon to a psychic

no this was just a any psychic that's giving out coupons I'd be a little yeah alarmed about it was 15% off good deal so

what'd she say what'd she reveal did she reveal stuff she was talking mostly about dating. She had some like, actually a lot of geographical type of stuff where she thought like plate shifting, that sort of stuff. Stuff that's out of my control, she said. Plate shifting? Like tectonics.

So you went to a geologist psychic? Or an Alex Jones psychic. What does that have to do with like, was it a vaccine? tectonics. So you went to a geologist psychic? Dude. Or an Alex Jones psychic. What does that have to do with what's going on with you? She was like, yeah, so the plates and that means you also go meet a girl and get together. Yeah, sounds pretty general. If you guys are done being mean, I'll talk to somebody

that cares about you. Was that the 15% off part? She's talking about the geology? She talked about your dating life? A little bit. Yeah, she talked about dating, just about love future, she calls them. Is it recording? Are we recording now?

Yeah, man, we are recording. Oh, okay. Because I just want to let you know, I've been getting messages about, like, you. Like, Playboy bunnies are hitting me up, but I know they don't want to talk to me. Who the hell is little butterfly? I don't know. I feel like she was a blonde with big boobs. So she said, little butterfly says hello.

I get messages like this all the time. And then you're supposed to be like. I don't know what they want from me. And you're supposed to be the middleman into Theo's heart. Yeah, like I'm your message. I can tell you that, Theo. Little butterfly, huh? Yeah, I'm I'm your best friend. Did the psychic tell you that, Theo? Little Butterfly, huh? Yeah, I'm not saying her name.

I don't remember, but that's her alias. You know what you should do, Steve? What you should be is like, you know, what you should do is you should, I know what Theo likes, so you should do it with me first. Yeah, this is what road managers do on the road with the big bands.

To get to the lead singer you get to the man I need a coastline you need a coastline you're like the gateway wiener gateway wiener I can't compete with what you guys have

Theo doesn't buy any cars without me test driving it and put a winky face I also had a woman say they really want to date you so I've had like extensive messages

like Steve like I'm like supposed to help like i'm like their coat like how how are we gonna do this steve can you help me with theo and i'm like what do you want maybe you could be a life coach oh the love no hardly managed my own life steve the love guru yeah hey steve i don't know what to tell you know what this tells me if the top of the morning steve sorry if theo goes to jail he's still gonna get a lot of he's gonna be like one of those oh he's gonna be like you know yeah yeah yeah yeah Sorry. If Theo goes to jail, he's still going to get a lot of, he's going to be like one of those. Oh, he's going to be like the night stalker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Chick's going to be going to jail to visit him for conjugal visits and stuff. Oh, yeah. They love you, dude. You're going to do well. They love me. When you eventually go to prison, you're going to do well. Hey, you know how last week you're like, who's going to go into the-

They love you, dude. They love you. Theo, you know how last week you're like, who's going to go in the military? Well, this week it's who's going to go to prison. You win this week, my man. Oh, no, no. Statistically, I think half of Aaron. Okay.

And we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to King of the Sting. And we're back. He's a stat guy. He's a numbers guy. Racists are always stat guys. Dude, that's just the way the tectonic plates crumble, bro. Here we go.

I told him, bro. Yeah. By the way, I got a lot of love this week. I think all the King of the Sting people reached out, and I appreciate it. What'd they say? You got love? Yeah, yeah. There were a lot of like, don't listen to the haters.

There was a lot of overwhelming positivity. You know, I got that, too. I also got that. Yeah. And I realize I'm the Nate dog of podcasts. How so? Because I go on to other tracks, make them hot, but nobody listens to my album. That's what I'm...

That's a great analogy. That's what I'm... Regulators! Regulators! Yeah, but Nate Dog, he's got his own album. Yeah, everybody was like, okay, we're good, Nate. Get back to Snoop, man. Nate Dogg got murdered,

didn't he? I have no idea. He had a sickness, I thought. Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, he had cancer or something.

Yeah, but that's still like getting murdered by Dogg. They're not watching. Your numbers aren't good on Riffin with Griffin. No, no, no. It's not. It's a sad situation.

I love my fans. But give him some pointers. How does he increase his... You need Theo. Yeah, dude. You're gold. You're gold, dude. Don't point at me with your hand like that.

I'm so sorry. You want to disappoint love. I'm just going to like, there's just a lot of wild energy out there right now, man. There's people in the park. They caught a guy in a park by my apartment with a gun. What? Bro, well, how's your house in Tennessee? Because the floods.

Did she tell your house is Tennessee because the floods did the psychic did she tell your house maybe that's the plates look yeah I'm not it's fine are you worried about your house no

what if it just who's staying there right now I got insurance on it you have somebody staying there or I got you're like a cousin 12 plants

and I got a guy going to check on it two times a week and you have house insurance so if it did float away, you're good. Let it go, baby. Let it go. But sometimes that insurance don't cover that kind of stuff.

No. You know what I mean? They think it does, but it's like. Oh, they get real specific these days. They don't cover a certain type of. Yeah. Like all the shit it should cover. Yeah.

It's in a fine print. Yeah, we don't cover that. Yeah. Like out in Calvados. If anybody breaks the name Cedric, we don't cover that. It's weird. I get real specific. Real specific.

Really specific. And there's like a shading of like, you know, the different types of black. Ooh, we don't cover. No, no. Oh, dang, you got charcoal? We don't cover that, bro. Now, we cover bruised peach, but we don't cover charcoal, Bubba. But in your area where you guys are, you know what I'm saying.

What do you mean by that? What do you mean? What do you mean my area? I'm talking about. Korea? Okay, yeah. I don't want to say it, but yeah. You guys are used to having to move your houses a lot, right?

The houses float away kind of just. Well, I don't know. I haven't been to Korea in a long time. I don't know how that works. But you can probably feel it if you close your eyes and ask your heart. You'll know at the answer. In the Philippines and Vietnam, the houses float away. Yeah.

And they just rebuild. So culturally, you really are. You should be that kind of guy. What kind of guy? Just ready to move that rebuilder oh the rebuilder yeah you think that Eric

welcome back to Candice Sting we are talking about houses floating away I don't know do you think who's most likely to be able to handle

if their house floats away out of this who's going to rebuild oh Steve for sure cause you know yeah you got those bamboo hands baby yeah most likely to be able to handle if their house floats away out of this thing. Who's going to rebuild that? Oh, Steve, for sure. You got those bamboo hands, baby. I do need to upgrade, though. You're right. I do need to upgrade. Who can move with a duffel bag and backpack and be cool? That's me.

Exactly. We can load up that bag. He can get the hot plate. That's in your nature. You still need to do the funeral for my black butt. Well. Oh, well. See, I thought you just got rid of it and we kind of moved on.

No, we said, didn't we talk about it? We did, and then we kind of just moved on. We could get a funeral and put it in a shoebox or something. That means he kept it around. That means you still have it. Yeah, see if they'll do something. Yeah, I do. It's in my closet.

That relationship is lingering. Yeah, for sure. I have it. See if they'll do something to your assisted living, man. What do you mean by that? The place you stay at. Is it an assisted living or no? No, it's rent control. That's why I have it moved.

It's rent control. But don't you guys meet up downstairs to play at night? Like, is there a bingo night? Yeah, not bingo. He doesn't live in an old folks home. That community seems like they'd all get together and have some pudding, put some checkers.

I saw two people out front watering the same plant together. Jesus. That's kind of senior. So you all been there. Everyone's been there. Theo forgot. He forgot how broke he was at one point. I'll get a one bedroom next time.

I think I've got it. That's the funny part. This rich motherfucker acted like, yeah, so tell me about your little assistant place. This motherfucker was so broke. You know what I mean? And now he over here. You might as well smoke a cigar in his face, motherfucker. Like, was so broke. You know what I mean? And now he over here. You might as well smoke a cigar in his face, motherfucker.

Fall in. See, that's what it's like living down there. How does it feel living in the ghetto, Steve? I have a roof. I have windows. How's your tent, Steve? How's your tent in Koreatown? I do sleep on a sleeping bag. Do you? Oh, yeah. Don't you guys sleep on like a...

Here we go. Let me close my eyes. You sleep on a sleeping bag. Do you? Oh, yeah. Don't you guys sleep on like a... Jeez, here we go. All right, let me close my eyes. What are you talking about? You sleep on a sleeping bag on a mattress? On a mattress. I have the Coleman sleeping bag on the... Oh, you got money there, dog. Yeah, you just scuggle in that little...

No, I sleep on top of it. I don't even go in it. What'd you say, Eric? That Coleman coming to Lantra. That Coleman sleeping bag money, man. Oh, you rich paying off right here. You're rich, Rich. Yeah, that Scissor Brothers money coming in here.

All right, dude, let's not joke around about that. Just a bit, little bit, blow it up, take a hit. We're trying, man. Trying to get to you guys' level. Was that a tweet you just showed me, Nick? Is that from Theo, the thirst trap himself trying to get on the UFC broadcast? Yeah, and he did it. This could be a fucking banger.

Dana, can't thank you enough, bro. Hashtag fight night. Every fight, he's just so thirsty to get on the UFC. This should be an award. Look, every fight, this should be an award. Hashtag UFC 34. Oh, there you are, dude. And it was not an award.

Thank you. Dude, I've never been to a fight. I would love to go to a fight. This is one step closer to being Rogan. That's what he's trying to do. I'll do all the things your brother could have done for you. Just say that if you want. Have you seen Bob lately?

Have you seen Bob? I did. I saw him the other night. You guys ate lunch and stuff? Yeah, we went to dinner, night lunch. But it's all lunch when you're at your age. And we went to night lunch, had a good time lunch when you're at your age. We went to

night lunch, had a good time. We talked about you. He asked how you were doing. Really? Is he proud of Stevie? Now that Stevie's kind of blowing up? He said he's heard he's doing well. That's what he said. Wow, that's pretty general. He didn't even acknowledge his recent success.

You're making it seem. No. He did thank me for helping out and all of us for helping you out and getting you out of the facility or whatever and being a part of your life, man. That's important, I think. Upgrade to a one-bedroom. There you go. Did you? No, I could.

I think I could. That rent control is nice, though. He's on burn on the green. I know. Took a whole lot of trying. Eric, if you had a sibling. We're moving rent control is nice, though. Bees don't burn on the grill. I know, but they... Took a whole lot of trying. Eric, if you had a sibling... We're moving on. All right, dude. To and to bedroom.

Kitchen don't fry in the kitchen. Bean don't burn. Stevie, you keep getting these cats checks. You're about to hit up Dick's Sporting Goods. Kimchi don't burn on the grill. A lot of people out there need help, man. Yeah, I'm one. Well, I can help you out with BetterHelp.

I think I'm going to try something else. Okay, well, for some people. Yeah, I do what I can, man. Listen, it's not a crisis line. It's not self-help. It's professional counseling done securely online. Quit talking to your friends around the water cooler about your problems, bro. Talk to a professional.

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Promo code CATS to receive your first month free. I thank Bluetooth for being part of King of the Sting. Yeah, me Cole Hardman. Stay hard. Little butterfly, come and look for me. When did you move? I will, I mean, in the future.

It's nice to hear that. Your ex-girlfriend's probably furious hearing that. Why would you say that? Yeah, because she's always wanted you to move. You don't have to bring that. Oh, man, your ex-girlfriend's probably furious hearing that. Why would you say that? Yeah, because she's always wanted you to move. Now you're just going to move? You don't have to bring that. Hey, time stamp that. Time stamp that.

No, seriously. Time stamp that. Dude, one good flood and you'll be back there. See, that's the thing. If you were, I would let the Lord move you like he does. Like it's the nature of your culture. Yes. Yeah, I think it's time.

And then maybe get a car in the future. Maybe get a little Corolla, a little Toyota Corolla. I think I could do it. A Corolla? Why don't you get a Celica? What's wrong with the Corolla? Corolla? I see you on a scooter.

Bask in the front. Oh, maybe I could do that little Vespa. Yeah. Yeah. Is he going to be on the side of the freeway? Going to Calabasas? Sure. Vespa?

Sure. Or get that senior. What's that senior wheeler that they have out there, Nick? Senior wheeler? The golf cart thing? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. He should get the tricycle.

You know, the three, you know what I mean? With the two tires. Oh, I'm not doing that. Or the slingshot. Yeah. Two wheels in the front, one in the back, dog. Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about. You know how many hoes you'd get in that thing, Stevie?

What's this one called? No, you need a motorcycle. Those DMs won't be about the seal anymore. The honey's like the motorcycles. They don't like that. Nope. There it is. That's that hitter.

That's a walker. Which one are you talking about, man? Oh, yeah. Which one? With that little fricking. Steve, you should just get a camper. Bring up that slingshot. Yeah. Steve should just get a camper and just roll around. With that little cord trap on the front, yeah. Which one? Steve, you should just get a camper. Bring up that slingshot. Steve should just get a camper and just roll around.

With that little koi trap on the front, dude. Stevie, for reals, if you like the slingshot, I can hook you up. What's wrong with you? Like a fish koi trap. I said koi. Oh, I thought you said koi fish, like a fish trap. Oh, I can see Stevie. Stevie, can I answer you on that?

Oh, yeah, dude. That thing is... Yeah, that's butter right there. Do you know how to drive stick, though? Look at that. I can't drive stick shift. Oh, I can see Steve in one of these. Steve, can I answer you on that? Oh, yeah, dude. That thing is... Yeah, that's butter right there. Do you know how to drive stick, though? Look at that. I can't drive stick shift. No, I don't. But how much are one of those?

I could get you a deal on one. Steve, do you even have a license? Ooh, that's a problem. Yeah, see, we're not wasting our time. You're a great guy. Do you just have a California ID? You don't even have a license? I do have a license.

You can actually picture him as a cop. When did you drive? Have you ever driven? I do have a license. He actually drew a picture of himself. When did you drive? I've never driven. I've had a license the whole time. You have? Okay. You know, his handlers,

you hear that guy Ron or whatever that guy's name is. Yeah, he looks cool. Yeah, where's your handler? He stopped coming. That's him driving that car with that from his movement on that guy. He's my friend. This old dude is your friend?

No, I mean. This is his neighbor. Yes, my neighbor's not that old. Is that you, Stevie? He's a good guy. That would have been Theo's dad. You know what I mean? Theo's dad would have been rolling like that.

Taking you to school, son. With a Confederate flag on the back. This is before I was born. He hadn't had you. 15 more years he had you. He had to sell this thing once Theo was born. Motherfucker. Is your dad that old?

Is that a V8? No, it's a V4, but I'm drinking V8. That's the commercial. Your dad looks like that? My dad did look like that, but he died. But he did look like that. Your dad did too, huh? Fuck yeah, dude. Your dad looks like that? My dad did look like that, but he died. But he did look like that. RIP. Your dad is in too, huh?

Recipes. Yeah, dude. Hey, Theo. Dead dad bros. That could be our podcast. Dead dad bros. Wait, and then you get the sidekick. Dadless with Theo and Stevie.

The sidekick is going to sit in the other chair. She'll be just channeling their dads. You know what I mean? You think your dads are having a podcast wherever they are? That'd be dope. No, I don't know. I'll produce it. When did your dad pass?

That'd be on Thick Boy. 90s. Late 90s. Were you there? Mid to late 90s. I was alive. Yeah. I remember.

Did he look like you, Thiel? Because you don't really look like your mom. I've seen your mom in person. He looked... My dad didn't look like any of us. Not anymore. You couldn't tell at that point. There's a certain point when you get old that nobody looks like you anymore.

Your ears get big, your nose gets all weird. But when you see younger pictures of him, did it look like you? I don't think so. Oh. I wish we had a picture of him. It almost, honestly, I'm not even joking, he had more like your kind of skin tone a little bit. Really? I'm not joking.

You think you're a little Asian, Thiel? I wouldn't be shocked, man. My dad was real quiet. You're not Asian down there, though, I heard. Huh? You're not Asian down there. Stevie. Where'd you hear this from?

That ass. Jeremiah said that he's got the biggest penis in the comedian community. You have the biggest one. That's a lot. Ooh, Jeremiah. He said he's like. Look, that's a sweetie you said he's like that's sweetie you guys that's a hot take okay what is this is this no this is are you in a sandwich wait but

how is this a dick explain it to me like visualize it for me that's that chunk light yeah dude that's what you and bobby have that chunk light that star kiss chunk light what are you talking about bobby has to show it's not long but it's thick yeah Bobby's closer to him showing his dick isn't it have you seen his penis yes dude it's dark

we all have the crazy thing is you have to see it he shows it to you so many times because you have to see it a few times have you seen it

he's shown you yeah I've seen it I always tell him to put a quarter by it so I can get some scale I need to know I need to know where am I

where is this be honest how big is how big is it you remember when you were kids don't you yeah we're a kid so it hasn't changed so tell us what it was like then just describe it if you don't mind for a second we're about to go to commercial break anyway i just remember it was dark how about this the three you guys i think should have to describe it since y'all have seen it. And I'll judge who did best. It's like a tan little earthworm. You know, it's like a thick tan earthworm. Even more than that.

Yeah, with like a... That's surrounded by like forestry. Yeah. Like a thick bush. Think of like a worm, like almost a burnt worm. Oh, it is burnt. It is burnt, my friend. But like

but wearing like a ski cap Yeah Like he's about to rob a liquor store for the insurance money that he owns a liquor store but he's gonna rob it Yeah

You know what I mean So he put all the That's racist Yeah A little racial but yeah Beef jerky It looks like a burnt piece of beef jerky

Yeah Dark Yeah Iky it looks like a burnt piece of beef jerky yeah dark yeah i remember it looked like it had it looked like it had worked at the dewey decimal system but then it got into drugs yeah it was a librarian it's been through some like it had been living in an apple yes but it had come out for dope but an apple that somebody was using as a bomb mouth for dope. But an apple that somebody was using as a bong. There you go. One smoked dick. Somebody was you know, one of those apple

bongs. Yeah. Well, his bit wouldn't be funny if he had just this giant dick, right? Then there's no... Does he really get naked, though? Well, that's like Eric Andre. You know Eric Andre does that. Yeah, he's hilarious. And he's got a ginormous dick. He tucks it in. He tucks it in. I was in Australia with him.

We just happened to be at the same time when I went to his show. And so he's doing this thing where he tucks, but I'm standing behind backstage. It's so big that he had a tail. How big is that? Whoa, man, don't do that with your hand, bro. Steve, explain this. It's not a sandwich, bro. Explain what this is.

Are you eating a super hamburger? It's like 12 inches. That's big, dude. Okay, so you've taken the dick off the person. But they eat everything in their culture, bro. That's why they're used to that, I think. What do you mean? Because why else would you say, unless in your DNA of your hand DNA,

that you or your people have held it. You keep doing that, but you're like this. And then he goes, the different sizes are like this you know what I mean like this is the different sizes this is the girth no this is the girth this is the girth

yeah this is the girth you don't want to do this okay but is this the dick here no the dick that's from here okay so you've detached it from the body this is the nuts

and now it's like this hold on this is better nuts okay there we go right there now I see a picture but then you can't be like when the dick is just as big

as the nuts that's how does that work that's like cancer I'm sorry so it But then you can't be like, when the dick is just as big as the nuts, how does that work? That's like cancer. I'm sorry. So it's this. You know what I mean? Yeah. Sorry.

All right, what do you got, Nick? You got a King of the Stingit. Yeah, this is getting a little homoerotic over here. What's up, guys? This is Eddie from Chicago coming at you with a King of the Stingit. Big Eddie. It's this crate challenge thing that I just keep seeing all over my feet. I'm sure you've seen it where they're stacking up these milk crates and

they're walking across up it with a big group of people around them they're falling on their back their neck it's honestly amazing i love it but that's probably just because it's not anything but the taliban or covid coming up in my feed but yeah that's my question for you guys king of the sting it the crate challenge could you do it? Is it good for our society? Let me know. Who could do it in here? I was just asking. You're real light.

I don't even know what it is. You're limber. You've never seen the crate challenge? No, what is it? We're too big. It holds 50 pounds. Here's somebody right here. Here it is.

It's kind of like the Hood Olympics, Steve. Where are they getting these crates? Oh, they're milk crates. They're milk crates. Is there a crate company? I don't know. Oh, you're going to make a statement now. Here we go, like Sha'Carri Richardson.

Oh, he pulled out a book. Is that hard to do? Huh? Okay. Okay. That was too easy for him. Oh, I could do that for sure. I think a lot more people are doing it than not doing it, but we just see the people fucking up.

The people that are falling. Oh, it's great when they eat shit. Okay, so what cause is this for, though? This is like the ice bucket challenge, right? No, it's for no- Is it for sickle cell? No. But you know that ice bucket, it didn't cure any of those people.

They poured cold water, like it was for MS or whatever. No, but they raised a lot of money. Stevie could do it. I could do that. I think I could do it. Yeah, I could do it. If you put cold water on yourself. I could do that, yeah.

You ain't going to get rid of MS, man. I feel like everybody in here could do pretty well at it. Here's one right here. An officer did it. Uh-oh. Let's see this. Did he fall and kill himself by accident? Oh, this is how we train in those Afghan cops right here.

This is the Afghan army training. That's where the $2 trillion went. This half a children over here, fucking Biden's milk center. It looks hard, though. They want this cop to fall. Oh, yeah, they do. That guy's all talking shit. Oh!

Holy moly. Is that a cop or is that a security guard? Wow. Okay, stop it for a second. This would have been crazy, though. He falls, his gun goes off, and kills somebody. And then they're like, another cop! Nightmare.

It would have just been so stupid. You know what I mean? It's like, what are you doing? Two more weeks of peaceful protest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eight more weeks of winter. Every time a cop kills a black dude, it's eight more weeks of winter, man. It's eight more weeks of COVID every time a cop kills a black dude.

So stupid. But it could be realistic, man. We need to look at a chart. I don't know about this crate challenge. This is better than anything the Olympics put out. I'd rather watch this than the Olympics. Oh, hell yeah. Look at that.

Somebody got seriously injured? How many crates do you need, do you think, to do that? It's easy to know that. See, I need to open a crate company now. My boy Bradley Martin did it, and people were not pleased. You should get some King in the Sting crates. They said white people ruin everything. My boy Bradley did it.

I mean, there was something to that. Well, the goal is not for people, I don't think, to do real well. You need like 20 crates. Yeah, Bradley did it with weights. And then someone said, I can feel when these crates call me the N-word. Dang. Dude, they're doing this everywhere. You don't have to get black crates.

There he is right here. What's this little honey right here, though? Yeah, right? A little crate honey? Oh, he's doing little honey right here, though? Yeah, right? A little crate honey? Oh, he's doing... No fault? No. Wow.

Is that it that gym y'all go to, Brendan? Oh, man. Could you do it, Brendan? Yeah. No, you could. You could do that, Brendan? Yeah. Yeah, you could.

So you're supposed to go up to the top and then do something? They don't have... That's just his spin on it. People just keep stepping it up. Yeah. A lot of people were complaining because he was on flat ground instead of grass, like in the hood, too. Yeah, that's a dicey thing. Who complained?

Yeah, man, you're his size. You could do it. But that's a big difference doing it in grass. I meant everything. I don't get this at all. Who thought of that? This seems super stupid to me. Is this a new thing?

Yeah, it just got popping like a week ago. And if you can make it across, it cures ALS or whatever? Now that would be awesome. They get a guy with ALS to start, get him over it. And he has to concentrate so much that the ALS just goes away because he got to keep himself steady. I don't know. This ALS can't hold us.

Well, there's a lot of things on TikTok and all that kind of stuff that go viral. Like, you know, people... Just trends. Yeah, just trends. For like three days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this one's getting big because people are getting... So that was a king it. It's better than the Olympics. I'm stinging it. Brandon and Theo, Chin Nick, Nick and Chin. Small guy in the back. I got ainging it. Brandon and Theo, chin, neck, neck and chin.

Small guy in the back. I got a king in a sting it for you guys coming from Canada. Chew meatball. Taking the teeth out while making sweet, sweet love. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. That hockey. That's good luck where I'm from. That's good luck where I'm from. That's good luck where I'm from. I was about to say, is this your cousin? You know what I mean? Are you rich where Theo comes from?

Pop your teeth out like that. Oh, indoors? Yeah, because he had some good teeth, too. Yeah, those are nice. Dude, my uncle, he said when he'd come indoors, he'd set his teeth right there on the windowsill. And relax a little bit.

Teeth was for outdoors only, all teeth. So he's saying just taking teeth out in general? I think he said while he was making out, sweet, sweet love. I'd leave him in while I'm making sweet love. Yeah, you got to leave him in, man. No, he got more tongue space. You know what I'm saying? He got more room.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He can lizard that pussy. Oh, damn. Y'all don't hear lizards? Nobody out here lizards. I'm the only one in here. I'm the only cute little monster.

I'm the only iguana in this bitch. Come on. I don't do that. Oh, that's the lizard. Steve got it. Thank you. Go downstairs. Most of my sexual experience is prayer mostly in the beginning.

That she don't get pregnant. Or praying that you get it up? Yeah. Come on, man. A lot of prayer. I've done a lot for you over the years. Yeah. I'll even play Samuel L. Jackson to my penis on my phone, you know?

God. Just to get him hyped up, you know? Just get him motivated. Yeah, we got to be like, dear Lord, brother Theo needs to perform admirably today. So if we can get the congregation together of the King of the Steen congregation. Let my people hard. Lizard tongue, huh? Do you have that kind of move?

I feel like you could hide on a woman's body. She wouldn't even know you're there. I feel like you could hide in her tits. I think I could do that. Yeah, I like to look down there. Just hide, I think, on a woman's body. Did you just sneak into women's houses when you were young? No.

Me and Bob never got girls when we were younger. But what did you do? It's always you and Bob, I feel like. We jerked off a lot. We jerked off. We went to church camp. Okay. Did you have like, it was your time and then he would leave?

No, no. He'd be in his room. I'd be in my room yeah your own room were you like all right man i'll see you later i'm gonna jerk off yeah that's what we did wow did you know he was doing it when you were doing it yeah he didn't get girls in high school i'm sorry to say he got girls when he did comedy yeah yeah but i remember a girl coming like uh he was out of rehab and there was a girl from his rehab that I saw. I'd never seen a girl in his bedroom. And I remember her walking out. I'm like, oh, damn, Bob's has a girl in his room. Got a little fly in his trap.

Were your parents okay if he had girls over? We never did. So they didn't have to deal with it. But what about you just did in the story? Yeah, he did it. I went in the story. Was she attractive? Yeah, she was pretty hot, dude.

Yeah. I was impressed. I'm like, oh, I was proud of him. Did you go talk to him? No, I didn't cock block. No, I let him do his thing. Did you go smell his sheets afterwards? No, no.

I'm just trying to figure their dynamic, man. But there was a woman in his room. That's the line for Theo. That was hilarious to me. That was the line. First one I see. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's, you know, you guys don't feel like that's crazy to smell some man's sheets who's been possibly spending time with someone he cares about?

I don't know what he likes to do, man. First time a girl came to the crib. Well, it depends on who's on top, though. Yeah, you don't smell your brother's ass. Yeah, yeah. If she's on the bottom, then yeah, you smell the sheets. Who's sweating during sex, man? You guys are freaking.

Oh. You don't overexert yourself during some sex? So you just not... You never sweat during sex? I'm that calm lover. I'm that Wim Hof, daddy. You know what I'm saying, bro? Oh, so he holds his breath. He a slow lover, too. That's what you tell. He don't want to get... He don't want to overexert himself. So Theo, one of those...

Oh, yeah. I'm the one. Heart rate under 80. You get her like this. Just slow. That sloth. Yeah, that sloth love. Yeah, that sloth love. Turn off the light. She's like, why are you moving so fucking slow?

She's like, can I just start already? She's like, get into it, man. But he quick. He got that coy blood in him, this little guy. I'm a quick one. He quick, bro. He got that sardine in him. Yeah. Yeah. Jackhammer. You got that sardine in him. Yeah.

Yeah. Jackhammer. You got that sardine, baby. You got that roe egg in you. What's this gentleman say? His belly button's big enough to do, this guy. This guy also, he got a deep belly button. This guy's same body type as Mike's girlfriend.

Zoom in on that belly button. Dude, don't do that. Don't body shame him, dude. We're not body shaming him. Same body type as my first girlfriend. Beach games. It's the Brian Callen special. It's football.

Jang gang, close blows. What game is that? Is it the crate challenge? You said beach games. King it or sting it. Yeah, why not? I'm with you. If you want to play some beach games. Or go in the water. Fire away, man. Do you do beach games? Do you guys do one? No, I beach go in the water fire away man do you do beach games you guys do

no i like going in the water i'm a water guy i'll go swimming get tan and i have to get in the water like a seal man not me you ever get that big cheeks in the water no man i don't get harpooned out there you know bags i show these bitches once dude and i'm dinner for an in, you know? Bugs. I show these bitches once, dude. And I'm dinner for an Inuit. You know? Look, man, right now out in, uh, there's a lot of flooding out right now out in the Central East, and that can mean that, you know, you could have, uh,

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the diamond punched some Brendan into Theo. I like the guy on the right. That's a beautiful haircut, dude. Wow, that's beautiful. Damn. Is that guy Hitler's descendant? Jesus, man. That's that hitter.

Who is that guy? Do we know him? I know him. Who is he? They were just training together. Yeah, it's Dustin's friend, Pablito. He looks like a bank robber. Yeah, dude.

And he's pretty funny on Twitter, actually. Pablito. Pablito or Cody Verrett is his real name. Oh, he's a fighter. Cody Verrett. Someone said, what's special about having a mullet? He said, it symbolizes freedom, confidence, swagger, hard work, everything right in America. There you go.

Facts. What weight class is he? Small guy. 155? No. If Poirier's 155, he has to be a 45er, huh? Is that the lowest weight? Lowest 125. In the male division. That must never...

How is the guy with the mullet? Someone said, Dustin, who is the guy with the mullet? And Pablito replied, it's never how is the guy with the mullet. He's a good foul. That's awesome. We had a couple more cats in the wild. Lots of Theo today. Someone saw Theo.

Evidently, Theo had a baby. Holy moly. Oh, wow. And it's Stevie. Dude, I don't know. Come on, man. But actually, its head is the same as Eric's beard. It's the same, right?

But they look like they took the baby by the legs and then slammed it down. Hey, don't baby shake, dude. You know what I mean? And then the head was like, like that baby, like the doctor head-butted that baby. Apparently his baby's a Klingon. That's cool.

Yeah. These babies are ugly when they come out, man. Yeah, what size fitted cap does it wear? One and a quarter? That thing is small. You know what it uses? It uses one of those snow cone. He just put a snow cone thing on it.

But they haven't shaped it yet. It must have just came out of the... It looks like they had a natural pool birth, too. Oh, that's exactly what it is. So he's laying in his wife's, you know, after birth. And what you're supposed to do is right when the baby's born, you're supposed to take your shirt off and the dad and the baby connect by putting the baby on your chest.

This could also be the woman, guys. We don't know everything. In this day and age. What's the white stuff on the baby? What's that white powder? That's Coke, bro. Hopefully. Boy, the head is flat enough to just take a line right off that baby's head.

This guy's all, man, fuck you guys, man. That's my newborn son. We're just kidding, man. It's a fucking comedy podcast. Yeah, we got you, man. Don't send a picture like this, then, if you don't want to get clowned. Yeah, I know. Yo, flat baby ass man.

And you're going to be mad at us? Shit. You knew. That could be a fake baby, too, man. This could be it. This looks like an insert. This looks like a ghost, babe. But let's get back to the real facts.

That looks like you. It kind of does. His face is fake. Dude, that looks like you. Both of them. Yeah. Both of them. Both of them.

Someone found Brandon on TikTok before he really started hitting zoo culture really hard. Oh, my goodness And that's Brandon Corey Feldman too Oh that's dope Oh wow Nice tic-tac Brandon Yeah Thank you Getting better at it

But yeah that facial hair Is like exactly Yeah we're the same guy. Yeah. It's clearly French. And then someone saw Theo at a BJJ tournament after training with Dustin. And actually yelled it out at him. The guy yelled at him?

So he looks like Theo? We got Theo Vaughn here. I'm the Vaughn. Gang, gang. A lot of defense, bro. How old's that kid, Theo? You were beating up her. Oh, that kid that took me?

That kid probably anywhere from 12 to 15. This move, though. What is that? This feels like he's in guard this feels like a get inside me what is that he's just in guard

he's just in guard that's family starting how do you win a match how do you win that that's how I had the baby the guy at the bottom of look for a submission by Graham LeGue

or the guy at the triangle or something the guy at pass yeah man get to half guard side control what else is going on you wear shorts all the time

Yeah I love it That's nice I like how you have legs Only on your calf What do you mean It's dope You mean hair Yeah

When I say legs You said legs My bad You have strong legs Boy like strong cricket Ooh Yeah baby I'm Jackie Chan

Dang Well he doesn't have a car Yeah I walk everywhere Oh yeah You got walking legs You see how it's only hair below the knee? You know what I mean? You just woke up like that.

You don't shave that. No, this isn't the way it is. He's got legs of a New York woman. You know what I'm saying? What are you talking about? Yeah, they smoothen. Look at that. Look at that.

That's all muscle right here, baby. Yeah. Go ahead. That's all muscle. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Go ahead. There you go. Boom. All muscle. Does Bob have Go ahead. Go ahead. There you go. Boom. All muscle. Does Bob have legs like that too? Yeah. Look at me all with an evil eye. Like, you want to take me on the mat.

You know what I mean? He's staring while Thea's touching him. Yeah, Bob's the same way. Same legs. Yeah, well, Asians don't. You get them from your mom? Well, Chin, show your legs. Aren't your legs, don't.

I have no hair. I have zero hair. Chin has a knee brace over his jeans right now. Asians don't have hair. Asians don't? You know, Chin, you don't. I have zero hair. Asians don't have hair. You know, Chin, you don't have hair on your thighs. I have no hair anywhere. If you need hair, where do you get it from? What do you mean?

What does that mean? I agree. Chin, you still rocking that knee brace like John Cena over the jeans? I took it off for today because I'm trying to see how it feels about it. This guy is Chin. I do kind of look Latino Chin. A little bit. This is Chinden. And he's got a really

interesting relationship advice question. This is Chino. Yo, what up, King of the Sting? It's your boy Tom out here in Seattle, Washington. Got relationship advice for you. Tom! My girl got offered slash asked to become a surrogate for you. Tom. My girl got offered slash asked to become a surrogate for a gay couple.

Okay. Now we're getting into it. There is a financial incentive involved. About $1,100 per month. Isn't that great? For nine months. Let me know what you guys think. Love the show.

Keep it up. Slang wang. Bus nuts. So $10,000? Basically $10,000. So what's the situation here? So the surrogate, you guys think love the show keep it up so slang wang bus nuts so ten thousand dollars basically ten thousand dollars so what's the situation here so the surrogate so his girl's gonna have to get pregnant with somebody else's baby and as soon as that baby's born she gives the baby up to this little gay couple oh that's a relationship with his with the girl yeah i think i'm not i'm talking about there's what's the? Is it just random people?

No, two married gay couples. I know, but do they know them? I'm saying, like, what if it's your friend? No, you know them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the incentive, though? What's the incentive? For him, it'd be money. Here's the problem, though.

Depending on your girl's genetics, you know, a lot of women have to have babies. It gets pretty sloppy. Oh, right. A lot of women don't bounce back, or some do. It just depends on the genetics. And also, if it's not your kid and your girl's going to sacrifice her body and all that shit, I don't know. Yeah. Basically, he just said, keep it tight.

Keep it tight. If it's not tight afterwards. Get it right. But his girl might be a dying piece. She might bounce back. Yeah, we need to see the woman. What? You're better off donating blood, my man.

Yeah. But that's not an option here, man. People want to have a child. You can't give them blood. How much money did this couple? 10 grand. Seems like it was just 10 grand. Just a one-time deal?

Mm-hmm. No, it's 12. That doesn't seem like a lot. 13 and a half or something. No, no, it's nine months, $1,100 a month. Oh, it's nine months? Nine months. Yeah.

I thought they wanted that full 12. It should be. If I keep that thing in longer at that rate, you're already going nine. I'm like, hey,, it's nine months? Nine months. I thought they wanted that full 12. It should be. I keep that thing in long at that rate. Yo, me too. I'm like, hey, this thing's not coming out, dog. But she's going to be like, no, no, not yet. We got to pay that cable bill. We need that $1,100, honey.

Yeah. To me, I don't think, if it's purely financial, I don't think that's enough money for what she's putting herself through. Maybe for 20. Is it the money plus expenses? You know what I mean? Or all the expenses are coming out is it the money plus expenses? You know what I mean? Or all the expenses are coming out of that $1,100. You got to figure that out.

You got to figure that out. I need to know the deal. $100,000. Yeah. If you can still drink during it, I think do it. But if they want you to stay dry as well, that's an extra. You got to stay dry. No sushi.

No caffeine. That's an extra $800 if they want you to stay dry. That's fair. So you're extra $800 if they want you to stay dry. That's fair. So you're saying $1,900 a month? Otherwise, you have one of those little eight-ball bambinos like the old dude had right there. The other thing, too, when that baby comes out, it's going to need to suck on them titties for a little bit. That's not part of the deal, though, is it? No, no, no.

I think you give him half a quart when you pack. You pack that in his bag when you send his little ass home, baby, you know? Yeah. Sting it. Hard sting. I don't know, man. I think you'd have to raise the amount of money, Brendan. A lot more.

To what amount, though? Eric, how much would it cost for somebody to get you to do it if you were a woman? I don't know, man. Like for your girl, what would you do? Would you let your girl do it would you do like you wouldn't let that happen it wouldn't be for eleven hundred dollars nah man how much how much really it's for me, for me, so we can't have sex? No, you can't, dude.

And also, hormones are jumping like crazy. Your girl's addicted. Right, so I got to deal with it? Nah. How much, though? How much? $50K a month? $50K a month, dude.

Who's going to do $50K a month? I mean, Kim Kardashian had that. Was it $50K a month? It was a lot. That's a lot of money. $50K. I mean, I'm ready to have her baby for 50k a month. Y'all figure it out.

You look like Brendan's dad a little bit. You think that? Eric does a little. I don't know what his dad looks like. I don't even know what that means. I thought it's being a father, like a parent. Yeah, I have a parental wife. I know, I know. But you also have a real problem brendan

and the truth comes out bro are you wearing spandex i love the pants i love i love the socks are those thank you those veins these yeah keep my blood up your leg all right huh yeah oh y'all just got scared the other day i thought i had a little stroke or something bro we're at lunch i got the pressure socks you know what i saying? You've seen them around the center. Yeah, what are those? I like those. What are those? Bro, me and Theo were at lunch the other day and he's talking like, yeah, man. Oh, you really had a heart- I was like, dude, you need to get that checked out, man. Oh, it's blood circulation, man. Oh, dude, I thought I was going to be a mouth-to-mouth. Oh, bro. I jumped on him. Hopefully somebody would film that. That'd be viral. See, I would do that for you, man. That's cats in the wild, dude.

Yeah, yeah. We're doing that. Yeah, can you guys send in pictures of a Theo and a Brendan making out? We need that. We need that little mouth-to-mouth. That's cats in an Erewhon right there. Who's this little timey? She's got another relationship advice question.

Okay. So would y'all do it or not? I'm sorry to interrupt. No, absolutely not. No. Pregnancy's a beast. You would do it? You wouldn't let a little butterfly carry a dang worm?

My sperm won't be able to do that. You don't have to do anything. Oh, you're right. If my girl, maybe for me. If you were a woman and you could carry it. Ooh, that's a good question. If you're just going to be at home anyway chilling. Yeah, you can still play all those video

games and mess around with that black butt. But you're getting paid. Your screen name could be Zygo7000. I'd have to think about it. What do you think, Garrett? 15 G's a month? 25. Wow. And Scissor Bros could cut the cord at the end. No, they wouldn't do What'd you think, Garrett? 15 Gs a month? 25. Jesus.

And scissor bros could cut the cord at the end. No, they wouldn't do that. They would drink the afterbirth. Yeah, you guys would eat the placenta and gag. We would probably do a challenge. You're right here. We'd do a challenge. You're like, guess what?

My dad mailed us some of his semen. Yeah, we would right here. We'd do a challenge. You're like, guess what? We would do a challenge. My dad mailed us some of his semen. Yeah, we would. For sure. Would you let Jeremiah carry another man's baby? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a tough one. Yeah.

I feel the guy wasn't even really talking about his own feelings about it. Right. And that's important, too. Yeah. At least he's asking, though, instead of just making his wife do it. Some men I think might make their wives do it. That would be terrible. Especially for $1,100.

She don't even get all the money and she got to do all the work? Again, $1,100 after tax? That's not a lot of money. That's just not a lot. Well, it depends on the relationship. That's what I'm saying. Is this her cousin? You know what I mean? Is this like people that she knows or like a really good friend? Just gay uncles?

Something. Yeah. Wouldn't that make the baby strange though? If the dude... The mom's always hanging around? No. If the dude is somebody they know, it might be different. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. If it's a handicapped dude or something, he might never have a child. You want to help him out?

I've heard he could really mess up the woman psychologically too because she has to give up her baby she bonds with that baby you'll be a fucking savage just a little orphan maker dude a friend of mine uh had donated sperm and then they hit him with that document when he's like 40 years old or 30 years old that said you have like 27 children yes whoa wow there was a movie about that it's fun delivery man yeah he had like a thousand kids right how much cum was he he's not seen between seven is a lot say see there's nothing all right oh you want to be i'm sorry dr dr vaughn over here well i'm just saying dude this is in you girl girl you about to get all this. Yeah, he's like, I'm a Navy man. You're about to see all this.

You're about to get this little butterfly, dog. This battleship. Hey, Theo. Hey, Brendan. It's Sarah coming at you from British Columbia, Canada. And I've got a debate club for you boys. So, when you break up with someone, do you delete everything off your instagram and your facebook and just wipe it clean or do you leave the pictures on there and just kind of let it be how it is like it was the

past but it's fine me personally i get rid of that trash and make room for the future yeah let me know what you guys think okay You delete all that First of all you're talking like you're my years of stuff though. Yeah, fuck him. It's like 10 10 How long has this been going on Instagram's like 10 years old now or something like that? And what if it's in that's what if it's a family member family member you know what this says about him that he is just a jealous possessive motherfucker right

he on his girl's Instagram like this he just scrolling back scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling

scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling

scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling

scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling hell yeah man get rid of that shit gotta get rid of it if they made it easier

especially a young lady like this like send out the bad signal. If they made it easier. They start posting those thought pics by the beach and the thong. Yeah, it's too much to do. No, no. She's saying when you're in a new relationship, do you like, you know, like, so now you get into a new relationship, do you get rid

of everything from the past? Oh, that's what I'm saying. So let's say she broke up. She don't do that through Instagram. Yeah. She would've do four years, right? And they break up. And now she's dating a'm saying. So let's say she broke up. She don't do that through Instagram. Yeah. She would do four years, right? And they break up. And now she's dating a new dude. And then what?

Is it a nice guy? That's a lot of work. They don't make it easy. If it was like delete all, we'd be good. Oh, she's single. Look at her. She very intentionally left her Instagram handle on her submission video. So I think that's the green light.

Yeah. She might want to meet a man. Take it easy, Nick. Can we like, oh, the count is private. We can't even look at, you know. Oh. We can't even see what's going on. I can tell by that avatar, though.

That's a risky move. Judging by avatars, that is. Well, look at her there. She's a good-looking lady. And she's fit. Look at her body, man. Yep, on the beach. She's fit. Well, I mean, she's fit. Look at her. Look at her body, man. Yeah, on the beach. She's fit.

Well, I mean, she. The lady last week. She's going to be with some knucklehead who's going to be like, hey, why you still got to picture this dude? Yeah, he's going to investigate. Why you got to picture this dude still? We went together for years and blah, blah, blah. Well, it depends who you're with, too.

Like, if you're with some famous actor, athlete or something like that. That's different. You're with Joe Schmoe at UPS. I'm like, what the? Yeah, but somebody. You're with Michael B. Jordan? But somebody that's like that, you'll notice a lot of

Instagram type chicks, they don't ever put pictures of their boyfriends on there because it's bad for business. But if she's just some regular chick, she's just some normal chick and she was like, oh, I loved him. I mean, it depends on, you know, that's just a lot of work. It's a lot of work.

It's a lot of work to be like, okay, delete. So the real question is, should you be putting your relationship on the internet? That's the real question. It's tough. I don't know. Yeah. This guy needs him out. Yeah, I would think you would erase all the, you know, because that's like her dating profile, right?

Kind of. If she wants to meet another guy, yeah, it's basically her dating profile. She has to get rid of the other stuff. That's the thing you should delete. I had this issue when we got so serious. Now let's talk about it. You're still on Tinder, Ryan, all this stuff, right? You can't just delete those apps.

That's another thing. You can't get right? Yeah. You can't just delete those apps. Right. That's another thing. Oh, you can't get out of it? You can't just remove yourself like this. Oh, it takes some time. It takes some time. Wait, it can erase your Tinder profile? Yeah, man. You can't just delete that.

And was your girl like, why are you on Raya? Yeah. Then I'm like, why are you on there? Yeah, what are you trying to do? So it was a whole thing. But I told her, I was like, because you have a subscription. And it runs out in three months. And then you're still there.

But I'm not on it. It's not on my phone. I got three months left. Yeah. They leave you out there, though. Yeah, you're out there in the wild. These apps will leave you out there, dude, in the ocean. You're out there in the wild.

Are you on any Tinder or nothing? Oh, no, I learned my lesson. I already told you that I got scammed. You did? Yeah. You met up with a man? No, I got scammed by a Russian. Oh, you're I got scammed. You did? You met up with a man? No, I got scammed by a Russian.

Oh, you were sending money and shit? Whatever. You sent him some money? No, they're like, hey, my grandfather's going to move in next month. That's an exception. Get back out there, bro. I'm okay, man. I like being alone. I got my black butt. I got my toys. I'm okay.

I knew he was still fucking the black butt. I knew it. See, that was the whole thing. Every time he passed the closet, he's like, I hear you in your sluts. Calling me. What'd you say? Oh, you can't get enough? Yeah.

Shannon, what would you do, you think? With an app? Or you mean this situation? Yeah, that situation. Yeah. You know, I think about that. My girlfriend is on my YouTube. She's on my Instagram. She's on everything. She's reading comments and shit? or you mean this situation yeah that situation yeah you know i think about the other my girlfriend is on my youtube she's on my instagram she's on everything and i'm reading comments and shit

dude she does that's not healthy yeah i don't like that's not good i've had my girl on my podcast like that's what i'm saying like what we break up for some strange reason then oh you have to delete the videos you know then the new people were just possessive and insecure your girl reading the comments like yeah no what i saying is she's in my YouTube videos. She's in my, yeah. I put her on, like, we go camping. But I think about that all the time if we break up. And we have good and bad times.

And I'm thinking, like, oh, crap, what do I do now? But I already did it. Do people ask her about your criminal past? Does that ever come up? I'm not a criminal. I didn't do anything. Well, she's on your Instagram. I'm not seeing her on the Instagram.

Oh, no, she's not on your Instagram. She's right there in the cabin trip. Which one? Which one? I did that like seven times, too. The one in the, all the group, the whole group. Well, that's a lot of people in that. But I'm holding her.

Oh, okay. I've always kept relationships off of mine. There's so many people, though. I've always kept relationships off of mine. Yeah, that'd be the thing. But yeah, that's what I think. He's like, I have her on my Instagram. Look at her. She's in the previous one too. Nobody knowing that you can't see Dave sitting in front of you.

We don't even know if it's a boy. We don't even know. That guy kneeling has the biggest head of the world. No, dude. I'm just talking about that person. Who is that? Holy Christ. That's our friend Dusty. Sorry, Dusty. Yeah, sorry, Dusty. You got a big ass head. I wish you were an Angry Birds character.

You fucking take out all those birds. Dude, his equilibrium is probably always. Dusty knows what's going on, dude. Yeah, you can't really distinguish. If the ocean is half an inch low, Dusty knows about that. He's being kicked in Angry Birds 3. He knows when it's going to rain. I'll destroy him.

He knows when it's going to rain by the way he's managing. You know, I think it's going to rain today. You little rank. He's got that baby Doppler on him, baby. That's the Doppler? He's got that big Doppler. I'm in the chop that Doppler I'm in the chopper like I'm in the chopper Dusty's head is just tilted to the left looks like a oh Dusty out there vibing with them clouds that's not Dusty that's another one that's not Dusty oh I thought Dusty would go to the left no that's it left zoom The guy with the glasses? Zoom left. Kidnapping that kid on the end.

With the switch. That's who I thought Dusty was on the left next to. Lil Bobby? Oh, that looks like Bobby too. That's Kim. That's a girl, man. Well, a girl can also be someone that looks like that. I'm just saying if it's a headbutt contest.

I know you're talking about Dusty. That guy can last. Now, those little kids can headbutt in a lot of Asian countries have you seen some of that videography no I haven't seen that

some of that's behind a paywall I watched a Russian slap contest the other night on YouTube an hour of it what's that all about they just be slapping the piss out of each other yeah

they don't subtitles everything they don't care, man. That's a thing? They're willing to do it. That's a big thing. I had no idea. They don't have as many feelings as we have, man.

Oh, there's competitions? Yeah, when you're living in a cold-ass place. Feelings is definitely not something. You've got to go to a restaurant to get them. Yeah, no one has time for feelings. Oh, this is it right here? That's an appetizer. That guy is not keto.

Oh, so there's a competition. Look at this big, fat, use him for angry birds look at this look at that guy's arms bro boom oh yeah i use his wrist his wrist yeah the trash game over and let's see he pops up he's unconscious but he's up how do you win this huh just like that that's how you win How do you win this? Just like that. That's how you win? Oh, he hit him with his arm. He hit him with that.

He totally did. He hit him with this. That's against the rules. This is so Russian. That's disqualification, man. No, it's Russia, dude. Does that guy have those silicone? Yeah, he has fake arms.

Look at his arms. Oh, my. People put oil on their muscles. So gross. Jesus Christ. This is like a Shaw family reunion right here. That does look like your brother, dude. And this is just the female side.

Your brother must be making $1,100 an arm, right? You know what I'm saying? So you have to hold it. See, but they hit behind the ear, so it knocked your equilibrium off. Yeah, the whole thing is insane. She's only going to be able to hit in the face. Oh, he took that, Daddy. He took that. Now he's scared. is insane. She's only going to be able to hit in the face. Oh. He took that, daddy.

He took that. Now he's scared. This kid's a lot. Yeah. I'm out at that point. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, all right, you win, man. This guy.

Dude, there's a whole league. This guy's obviously, and he's tough at macaroni grill or wherever he usually waits at. Tony Romas. Oh. Oh. Oh, and they just kept doing it, and then they come at the end?

Sorry, semen. They semen at the end? Is that how you say it? Damn, well, who won this one? Theo, that doesn't even sound right. I'm semening. You would? make it exciting for everybody

that'd be a good challenge man what happens do they win do it on scissor bro yeah I was just thinking about that is that Ray Romano

in the back yeah yeah I don't think we'll do that one young Ray Romano yeah it is I don't know if you guys are on reddit or not

but there is the new thing people are doing is not ejaculating during sex, man. What? That's that incel shit, bro. You need to stay off Reddit.

Is there a term for that? No Nut November. No FAP. We're in fucking August. No FAP, no FAP. We're in fucking August. But people want to hold their charisma. February, though?

They want to hold their charisma or whatever. Chee. That is Ray Romano. Thank you. I'm not crazy. Good call. That is Ray Romano. Thank you. I'm not crazy. Good call. He looks exactly like him. Way better looking

over the years. All right. That's what happens with dudes. They want to hold their charisma. Would you guys do it? Would you guys do it?

Hell no. What's the point? No, that's the point of that. What are you talking about? A hornier nut? Yeah. No. The girl, like... I've done it before for

two months. It's called sexual transmutation. And what happened to you? You know your testosterone lowers when you do that. Well, I read something where it makes you more productive, more focused, more energy, all that stuff. So that's why I tried it. And what'd you feel at the end, brother? What dude living in his mom's basement wrote to you?

No, so Neilil strauss an author actually talked about it so i started reading online about it yeah oh he wrote that book uh the game the game yeah which i love the game and did um which is just a communication book and yeah it's all sociology with manipulation yeah and it works it actually works yeah it doesn't always work dude not always but actually works though I told a girl that that was the last dress she ever should have worn tonight, and her cousin came and fucking punched me. Her cousin came and punched me in that room. Where he's from, it could have been her husband.

Yeah. He did have a shirt on that said Cusband on it. Please make those shirts. But that's the theme, right? Hey, Theo, that's the theme of that book, though. You put them down at first to get their attention. Yeah. You look like shit, girl.

And she's like, oh, you crazy. Tell them they look like they have one lip or that their outfit doesn't fit or something. Or you're supposed to find the ugliest one in the group, and that's the one you compliment. Yeah. Give her attention. What's up, big girl? Yeah, girl, you starving? Looking good. the ugliest one in the group and that's the one you compliment. Give her attention to the hot ones. What's up, big girl? Hey, girl, you looking good. If you just got this, hey, you look beautiful, the hot ones are going to go like this. Oh, thank you. Not you.

Not you. I was talking to your big ass friend. Yeah, if you say damn little angry bird with that freaking... Oh, that works then. I don't know. I don't know, man. I suggest just being nice and not reading a book. No, no, but I'm saying there is something to like, look, if you took a regular communication

book, okay, and you read the things in a communication book, how to communicate with people. Like what, Tom Sawyer? Fuck, man. We'll just say the book. No, but there's plenty of them. It's not a secret. I have one in my audio book. I forgot the one that's like how to communicate and get what you want.

Oh, a book about communication. I'm saying like a regular book about communication that you read these things and there are good tips about communicating in business and life. And dating too then. But what I'm saying is what these other people have done is they've taken those same concepts, but their intention, it's all about intentions. Yeah, this is a great one. I have that one.

I have some friends that influence people. Ted Bundy also read this book. I know, but what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. This is a tool, and the people that make these manipulation books are towards women. They take these same concepts,

but it's just all about intention is what I'm saying. Okay. Do you believe that... Do you believe that Do you believe that it can work? That if you do some of the stuff

the man said in the book that it could be good? Yeah. Jen said it worked for him. Give us some examples. Yeah, give us some examples. Well, it's like when you want something

Thanks, dude. If you want something the first thing you need to do is find out what the other person wants first in a situation. And then what? Hide it in the house.

Yeah, how do you find that out in a bar? How do you do that? No, no, no. But we're not talking about like. I'm talking about getting chicks, bro. Oh, man. That's what the book's for. Yeah, dude.

Work for him. I think it's the book for my girl. No, so when I went clubbing, when I went to bars and stuff, the main thing is you actually have confidence to go up to girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The main thing is just going up to girls. No one does that. It's really intimidating.

So when you have that in your back pocket, you're able to talk to them. Dude, I always say that. The first rule is like, if you want to get a girl, talk to a girl. Yeah. Or even bring a girlfriend out there.

Listen, man. You got to make that young. The fuck boys out there, the ones that get a lot of chicks, they get rejected more times than regular guys try. Right, right, right. You understand?

Yeah. It's all about a numbers game. So, hey, you want to get with me? No? Fuck you then. What's up with you? You keep swangin'.

What's up with you? Man that bitch. What's up with you? What's up with you? Then one goes, I'll be with you. And he's like, I still got him.

That's a numbers game. But that's like, it's a numbers game. But like, regular dudes are so shy. White dudes, you can just say white dudes. Yeah,

go ahead. Black dudes are way more confident than women, I think. You'd be surprised. You think so? I don't know. I don't go out enough.

I don't go out enough. Everyone's got insecurities, Theo. Everyone's insecure. You get girls mainly if you do start a relationship. I'm taking a break. I'm just working on myself,

man. I know you're taking a break. No flap, whatever, 2021 2021 how much time you got uh i don't know about them i think how long you've been sober 12 years sober but as far as that yeah just working on myself he's trying to lay off that yum yum making that young i will say steve i feel like you are happier i feel like you are you you seem to be I feel like you seem to be more confident. You seem to be more, and I do feel that. Friendly. I do feel that, man.

Keep going. I love it. Keep going. Yeah. It's like a better you right now. Vibrance. Yeah, man. I got to work on myself.

You know what I mean? Your skin's popping. Yeah. Hair popping. Yeah. Legs strong as hell. Yeah, I feel good. Yeah. good yeah good for you look any age he could be 22 or 67 or 40 something yeah oh yeah but you are 40 something that's what

but i didn't see i didn't know stevie prior to this i've known stevie for like yeah we six years yeah i've only known him this way so i was like oh yeah Steve was a mess he was a mess I didn't know the mess back in the day you'd see him hiding coke hiding pill I love it Steve he sounds fun I actually just noticed it

I wish you'd read that but anyway communication is important communication is key and how to communicate is very important I'm giving one little tip

there we go let's get into it go ahead so this is if you're at a bar a club anywhere in anywhere, in a bookstore, find something interesting on a girl that you think is cute. So where'd you get this whole thing at? It's my little sister's birthday next week.

I want to get her something cute. Boom. Combo starter. Something that she thinks, oh, you have a little sister. You care a little sister. Something like that. Or go up to her, but man, it smells like fart in here. She goes, what?

Somebody farted. You believe that? Boom. Combo starter. Stuff like that works, this girl's like farting. She goes, what? I'm like, somebody farted. You believe that? Boom, combo starter. Stuff like that works, too. The 10 simple rules of being a chick by B-Shop. Somebody farted. We need to make sure his girl is okay. This might be that, like, she's been kidnapped for 10 years.

She can't leave the house. Try that. Try that. What's the problem? Go up to a girl and be like, man, this girl's like farting her. See if she doesn't laugh. I didn't try that. Try that. What's the problem? Brendan had a whole food scrubbed the girl's face. Man, someone like farting her. See if she doesn't laugh. I don't think.

No one's going to the Schaub seminar about how to get women. What are some other Schaub rules of dating? Yeah. What are some other rules?

Here's some other. Welcome to my seminar. It's just lonely. We got special guest speaker Brian Callen tonight. Fucking half the crowd fucking is like, boo. But dude, yeah, but I'm trying to think of what's some other good shop thing. Oh, what you doing in my trunk, bitch?

That would be something shop would use. Stop making noise back here bro that's a combo star that's a combo killer actually the one he just gave

what's another B-Shaw dating tip I have no idea like I said I'm trying to no he walk up to a girl

measure her out yeah yeah you look like you fit in the trunk you know it's two for one foot long I'd say that too No, he walk up to a girl and measure her out. Yeah. Yeah, you look like you fit in the trunk. You know, it's two for one foot long. I'd say that, too.

Oh, my God. Who don't love a sub? I'm just talking about subs here. Yeah. This guy needs some help being a best man. Okay. All right. We'll see what we can do.

His old pretty ass eyes. D.O., Nick, Chin, Salmon Knuckle. I need a little advice guys my brother's getting married I'm the best man which means I got that best man speech gotta hold the fork down for a couple minutes you know throw a little comedy in the speech a little heartfelt and bring it back all together for that last big bang

I need some help on it fellas gang gang Buzz buzz. What I did as my brother's best man, you just have bullet points to riff off of, but you don't want to just read what you wrote in the hotel room before. Have some bullet points so you can riff on a little bit.

Bullet points to riff on. All he has to do is speak from the heart, man. A bullet points to riff on guy that's keeping somebody in the trunk of their car. You freaking sex trafficker. Brandon used to. You did that? What? You kept a girl

in your trunk? Never. Don't listen to Theo, man. But he did used to get food from Butcher Box. Facts. Still do. Butcher Box is...

He's going to be okay. You said too much me. Yeah, sorry, man. I really took conversation in the wrong direction there. What do you think I would do about this? Speak from his heart.

That's it. Yeah, what would you do, Aaron? Yeah, that's all. Yeah, exactly, Steve. Just Speak from his heart. That's it. Yeah. What would you do, Aaron? Yeah, that's all. Yeah, exactly. Steve, just speak from your heart.

That's it. What are some specifications? But have a plan. Do you want to go up there? No, maybe it's not good to have a plan. Maybe he can just go. That's why I say bullet points.

I mean, keep it short and sweet. So even if you ripped off, you can still look down and see the bullet points. That's conjecture, man. Oh, yeah,

that might work. I don't know. I think keep it short and sweet. Yeah. You know, don't make it about you. You know, remember this, it's the bride's day. So, you know, keep it fun. I mean, it You know, don't make it about you. You know, remember this.

It's the bride's day. So, you know, keep it fun. I mean, it's hard, like, when comics are getting married. Dude, I'd light up her dad. Have some fun with it. Roast the dad. The thick-ass mom. That'll be his second Showtime special will be that.

With bullet points at weddings. Does it smell like fart in here? What up, y'all? It smells like fart up in here. We cut the cake yet? And again, he's got one of those Janet Jackson. Little brows is performing. I think you got to have a time limit, though.

One thing that gets weird is when it gets too long yeah 10 minutes is good 10 minutes no that's way too long 10 10 minutes on stage

well hold on dude no no his people they have so much more time historically it's his brother man so he has thousands of years of history to look back on

5 minutes 10 minutes to him is nothing 5 minutes a hot 3 minutes goes a long way that is hot that's even hot. I say 90 seconds or less, bro.

90 seconds. Really? At a wedding, dude? At a wedding. I say two minutes. Give me two minutes. 90 seconds is a long time, dude. This is his brother.

That has to mean something. I think you can mean something in 90 seconds. Nick, what do you think? I think keep it short and sweet. You got to think about the people who are there at the wedding. They don't want to be there. No one wants to be there.

Half of them want to be also divorced. All right, one minute. Acknowledge that. Now that's a great thing. Acknowledge that. I'm sure there's a lot of people in here that want to be divorced right now. No, please don't do that. I'm sure a lot of you went through this.

You don't bring up bad shit at a wedding. That's like somebody going into surgery and you talk about how many times people die in surgery. No, what I would do is acknowledge, you know, I'll probably be doing this more than once. The odds are 53% of people get divorced. Yeah, please don't. That'd be terrible. It's gotten bad out there, man. People are, you know, in surgery.

He's a stat guy. In surgery, they put X on your body parts they're not supposed to cut off, you know? Oh, jeez. That's not even close. Nobody's paying attention. So a minute, guys? A minute and a half. Okay.

Okay, so what's some other tips, Dan? The man obviously needs some help, man. Talk about the past. Talk about how he's proud of him. Talk about how gorgeous the bride is. No, I don proud of him. Talk about how gorgeous the bride is. No, I don't think you drop that, how gorgeous the bride is. You don't want to be like this.

Your bride's fine as hell. I'm going to look at you and I'm going to say, you're lucky as hell. You got to do it before me. But anyway, you don't want to be like that. That's what I'm talking about. Stop! What is wrong with you, dude? I'm trying to break up marriages. Lots, bro.

If you ever met these dudes. Shab will be like this. You sure, girl? Yeah. You sure? You sure you want to do this? You sure? All right.

Yeah, don't do that. My sister gave my favorite speech I've ever heard for my other sister. She talked about how she was really protective over her older sister, and she didn't trust the guy right away. But the moment she knew was when they were out on the beach and my sister was in like three foot of water and she tripped over and uh her now husband dove in with his clothes on to try to save her in three feet three feet of water and she killed crushed and it was very short well first of all it sounds lame first of all that was low stakes he knew it was only three feet he. He did. You know what I'm saying? He ain't shit. You know what I'm saying?

It was on a cruise ship, and that bitch fell in. He was like, where's the light? He's like, I don't want to hear it. He ain't Jack. Yeah, he jumped in with a Tommy Bahamas shirt. It's all a sham. It's all a sham. That's a good question. If your wife falls over on a ship, because on a ship, the only thing they can do is go in a big circle to get back to where the person fell off.

That's the fastest way the ship can get around. Does it happen to you on those ships? You've been on cruise ships. You've got your degree on a cruise ship. Yeah, and people fall off sometimes. Sometimes they get back around to them, and sometimes they don't. Yeah, semester at sea. Yeah, sometimes they get back around to them, and sometimes they don't.

Oh, really? They just keep going, and then you're stuck in the middle of the ship? Oh, no, they come back, but sometimes the people, they go on. They, semester at sea. Yeah, sometimes they get back around to them and sometimes they don't. Oh, really? They just keep going and then you're stuck in the middle of the ocean? Oh, no, they come back, but sometimes the people,

they, you know, they can't find them. Well, you're supposed to throw, I heard this on the thing, you're supposed to throw a thing out there.

Yes. You're supposed to point. You're supposed to keep pointing. Yeah, the tough part is at night and sometimes even if you're pointing for a little while, you'll check your phone

and you forget you're pointing. You get a text. That's a rude motherfucker right there. Dog, it's hard to- If you go like this, if you go like this,

oh shit, the crate challenge. His crate challenge is popping. Don't do the crate challenge on a cruise ship. You know that shit could get, it's hard to point at something for a long time. At night time, dude?

Yeah, even if you love it. That'd be a horrible way to die. Horrible. No, you'd just be thinking, imagine being out there, you're just thinking about sharks. Dude, sharks. That's all you're thinking about. Anytime you see the ocean, you're thinking of sharks. That'd be a horrible way to die. Horrible. No, you'd just be thinking, imagine being out there, you're just thinking about sharks. sharks. That's all you're thinking about.

Anytime you see the ocean, you're thinking of sharks. That's why he ain't shit. He jumped in that three feet of water, like, I got you girl. He jumped in a pond. Yeah,

found out there was a kiddie pool. Not on my watch. Four kids later, it worked. It worked. That's true. What you got? We closed it out

with maybe a cat's confession. I think Stevie might have some thoughts on this one. It's pretty good What you got? We close it out with maybe a cat's confession. I think Stevie might have some thoughts on this one. It's pretty good. What'd you think, Steve? Oh, it didn't play yet. Sorry. Hi, boys. My anonymous confession is that I'm trying to stand out at work and show my bosses that this new job that I am worth investing in.

work and show my bosses that this new job that I am worth investing in. So when they assumed that I was part Asian and wanted me to be part of their ad campaign, I didn't correct anyone in telling them that I actually just look that way, but I'm fully Caucasian. Now I just have to pretend for as long as I work here that I am a halfer. And I'm not. And that's a terrible thing. Gang, gang. Now she's got to wear a gi to work. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. She's got to bring a karaoke machine. You know what I'm saying? She's got to occasionally drop a chopstick. I wish I could see what she looks like. Yeah, she's got to have vases by her desk. You know what I mean? Do you have a picture of her?

No, she's got to play that real soft music. Yeah. Adonis Confessions. She's got to at least be real. She sounds so white, too. I can't imagine her being. Well, that just shows you how dumb, how racist they are. It says more about them.

Well, they might be worried to bring it up. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Is she Asian? Yeah, they're all stupid. They're like, Karen, don't see me. She's not correcting us. We live in such a PC society right now.

No one wants to touch you. They're scared to say, are you Asian? And then she's like, I don't want to tell them. So it's like, yeah, you're all idiots. She's got to say something, though. Everybody's Asian. Or else she's going to have to go to work and just put up this act. But is it an act or is it people just evading her and not even afraid of saying, you know, maybe she'll get like some special gifts or something.

Maybe she's like Rachel Doziak. A lot of Asian people have like a little bowl of mints by the desk. People keep bringing her kimchi and shit every Monday. And she's like, God, I don't need this shit. You know what I'm talking about? Help us out here, man. What kind of Asian do they think she even is? Just general Asian?

I know, just Asian. Yeah, is it Chinese, Korean? What is it? So they're probably mix-matching everything. General So's daughter right there. That's who they think she is. I find this confession...

You gotta say something, dude. This confession is nonsense to me. Gotta say something. It's nonsense. You're not buying it? I'm just saying it says more about her. It says a lot about where she works. Yeah, it says more about the coworkers.

It says more about the coworkers and all that. Well, I need to see her because why wouldn't she, you know. And also her worth being like, what is she getting and advancing in her career? Because she's like. The campfire. Yeah. Oh, that's it. You can't find Asian these days.

You know, single Molly Brown, baby, right there. That's it right there. We need more Asian. Yeah. Well, maybe don't say anything then. You should chill out on the term halfer.

I don't know if that's. Yeah. People don't say that. Yeah. I checked out. I'm a halfer. It's half up. Okay.

There's nothing wrong with being half. No, there's not, but you don't go around and say I'm a halfer. Do you feel. I never even talk about it

never feels only when it talks about it yeah he's the one who brings it up do you feel sometimes

your white or black side flare up yeah depending on yeah when I get asked motherfucking questions like that

let me tell you what size flare up what I'm saying no I just I don't even think about it. I just, I don't even, so I never, I'm not, like, I'm not one of those comics that go on stage and be like, you know, so I'm half this and half that. So now I can, you know, I can steal from a thing and do this.

I just never talk about it. Because I always say people want to know what you are so they can know how to hate you. Do you ever use the N-word, Eric? Yeah, with my friends. Yeah, baby. Don't back him up. You didn't get it. do you ever use the n-word eric um yeah one of my friends yeah baby you're not getting it no you know you're not getting it take it easy morgan wayland yeah take it easy see he's one of these comfortable white people yeah i remember you know what's funny because i remember doing his podcast, and it was afterwards.

He was just chilling and talking with them, and he dropped one. Oh, really? Yeah. And then he caught himself and was like, oh, shit. He's like, Eric, that cool with you? He gave me that look, and I was just like, okay, you know what? I'm not even going to. I know when the rap song is on in Theo's car.

Yeah. He goes hard on it. You know what's going on in his car. He remixes it with the ER, though. Look, man, I don't know exactly what you guys are talking about. But, I mean, it is what it is out there, baby. Anyways. Everybody's doing their best.

This is a weird situation. Yeah, it says more about her co-worker. It says a lot about where she works and all that. But they don't know. And I think maybe what if they think she is Asian and they're trying to be supportive? They're scared. But I think they're scared in this society. You can ask that, though.

There's nothing wrong with that. You can ask. It depends where she's at, though. If they're in Portland or some shit. You're right. What state are they in? They're like, we don't's nothing wrong with that. You could ask. It depends where she's at, though. If they're in Portland or some shit. You're right. What state are they in? They're like, we don't want to mess with her, man. Keep bringing her a cup of noodles.

They keep bringing her Pokemon cards and shit. No, but if they're legitimately like- Sriracha, not even Asian shit. What campaign would they even be doing if they go, we need an Asian for this? What is that meeting? She just came. I guess we ought to hire her, man. We don't seem racist.

No, she was already working there. They were having a meeting, and they were like, all right, we're going to do this thing. I think we want to outreach to more Asian people. What should we do? She's like, I'll do it. Let's get Bethany, who's not even an Asian name, probably. She's not like her name is. A lot of Asian people get Susie Joy.

Joy. Yeah, Joy is one. Also known as Joy. But you know by the last name. It'll be like Joy Leaf. Or Kim. Kim. This chick's like her name is like, you know, the last name, it'll be like Joy Lee. Or Kim. Kim. This chick's name, her name is like Barbie Barbie.

You know what I mean? Ricky. Ricky is one. Ricky? No, that's more Latino, Theo. Especially when you said it. Ricky. Ricky.

Ricky Lee. Yeah, you're right. No, it's not. I don't know about that. That's a tough one. That whole thing sounds ridiculous to me. That's it? That's it, man. I don't know about that. That's a tough one. That whole thing sounds ridiculous to me. That's it? That's it, man.

That's it. Sonny. Sonny. Sonny is one. Sonny? I don't know any Sonny Asians. I've never seen Sonny. Sonny is a popular Asian name, isn't it, Chen?

Yeah, I heard it many times. David. Can I ask one question? David. David Kim. David Yang. But that's never their real name. Like, Steve, what's your real name?

Sam. Kwang Woo. Kwang Woo. That's your real name? That's what I'm going to tell you. Steve, that's just... Go by Kwang Woo. Yeah, that's to make people like him feel comfortable.

No, but with Korean families, what's your real name? Jin. Yeah. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin.

Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin.

Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin.

Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin.

Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin.

Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin. Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin Jin I will. What's your real name? Kwong Woo. Kwong Woo. And then Bob is Song Woo. Kwong Woo. Welcome back, Kwong Woo. Yeah, welcome to... You do ditch that,

whatever you're wearing. Would you even... If somebody called you that, would you even recognize it? Would you even turn? It's for the American school system. You can't say Kwong Woo. Yeah, they don't get it.

Why not? That's why a lot of Asian families give them the other name. Like, oh, he's Kwong Woo at home, but his name's David. Nowadays, it's in the school system. Imagine. Or Randy. Randy. Like, they made Asian people oh he's making bitches learn your name but his name's David nowadays it's in the school system imagine or Randy

like they made Asian people change their name because it made other people uncomfortable they didn't make

them they wanted to but Stephen who decided your American name your parents Theo was a

teacher like this Kwan you're Steve exactly that's all in a nutshell that's it your kids were like you're going to go. That's all in a nutshell. That's it. You're like, you're going to go by Steve.

No, all the Asian families do that. Yeah. Or right chin. A lot of them do that for the American school system. Who gives them the name? Do somebody give it? My mom and dad probably give them. There you go.

And what's your mom and dad's name? My mom, it used to be Chung Ja, but she changed it to Jeannie. Jeannie's pretty. Yeah. Chung Ja's she changed it to Jeannie Jeannie's pretty Yeah Chungja's pretty too Chungja or Jeannie And then what's your pops? What was your pops?

I don't know I don't remember his Korean name Himdom Robert These Korean names What's the point of even having the name If you're never going to use it or remember it? And then do your parents call you by your Korean name?

Yeah, yeah, yeah So if my mom was talking to Bob She'd go But on your license But what's on your license? What's on your license, though? What's on your driver's license? Steven Lee.

Wow. Weak, bro. I thought you were going to say Steven Lee. So your birth certificate, did you have to have an official name change? I don't know. It's just, what is it? We did it when we were naturalized. But we all call each other the same, Chin.

My brother's name is Jongsu. Mine's Jinsu. And then we think, now it's Chin and Chong. And of course, we got made fun of way the same Chin and my brother's name is Jongsu mine's Jinsu now it's Chin and Chong and of course we got made fun of way more with Chin and Chong that's too easy do they make you strip naked at the naturalizing place or not? is it like at the naturalized place? do they make you strip naked?

they make us strip we used to do that thing where we would make a sound and ask Asian people if it's a, means something in Asian. Oh, that's racist. People did that though.

You know? They did do that. Hung Jai. They would chung, chung, chung. They would do that. What does that mean? Yeah, did I say something? Like, wow.

Name my brother's name. And is your real name Eric Griffin? Yeah. No, it's Teddy. Well, you know, some Hollywood people change their name. No, no, no, no. What's your real name? Why would I change No, it's Teddy. Well, you know some Hollywood people change their name. No, no, no, no. What's your real name? Why would I change my name, Frank?

They don't sound Hollywood. Eric Griffin don't sound Hollywood. But it could be short for something. Eric. Derek. No. LeDerek. Ugh.

LeDerek. Well, let's end on LeDerek. Well, hold on. LSU has a new Football player That has the craziest name LaWasha Huh?

LaWasha No Oh no DaCodist DaColdist yeah And he's Super baller Yeah

He's like the best corner In the league Wait what's his name? DaColdist This is real? That's what his mom said There you go DaColdist

Oh that's a great name DaColdist Oh DaColdist It sounds like the Key and Peele sketch Oh hell yeah But that's a great name the coldest oh the coldest it sounds like the Key and Peele sketch oh hell yeah but that's why they came up with it

this is a real this shit is real no there was a thing going around on Worldstar this mom named the two twins LaWasha LaDrya

oh really the coldest that's what it is poor chop you laughed too hard at that well that's why LaWasha LaDrya

you know what that is she didn't like their father. Yeah. That's her fashion. They didn't really want to have a kid. Dakota Crawford? Come on now. That's a cool name.

That's the best name ever. Hell yeah. Well, he better be good, though. Now he has to be good. He's got to be good. You know what I'm saying? He can't be sorry. If you just average.

Or he's selling ice cream. If he ain't, if he don't make it, he's selling ice cream. He's selling Slurpee. Open up. No, he he's selling ice cream if he ain't doing it. If he don't make it, he's selling ice cream. He's selling Slurpee. Open up. No, he'll have an ice cream truck. Oh, that would be great. Not a bad plan B. Dude, the coldest ice cream.

Not a bad plan B, though. Oh, the coldest is here. But that's it. The coldest ice cream? The coldest ice cream. Well, that, oh, shit. We need to reach out. Reach out. Hey, bro, we want to put a food truck together for you. The coldest ice cream. The coldest ice cream. Well, that's... Oh, shit. We need to reach out. Reach out.

Hey, bro, we want to put a food truck together for you. The coldest ice cream. You know how athletes now can get sponsorships now? He can definitely do that. He should endorsement.

That should be... Dude, for sure. For sure. In your hometown? We go to Louisiana? Get the coldest, man. The coldest ice cream. Who else could we get?

King of the Sting, the coldest ice cream. Yeah, we just did it. You could have a bunch of products. Anti-freeze, air conditioning. No, we're not trying to slang AC units, dog. But anti-freeze, man, you got to make more profit on an anti-freeze, bucket of anti-freeze. No, you make so much more money on ice cream.

That shit's cheap, bro. Yeah. How does that even equate that sense, though, when you think about that? Because ice cream's cheap, and you sell, like, the markup's insane on ice cream. Oh, yeah, it could be. But you think about that, because ice cream's cheap. They sell like the, the markups insane on ice cream. Yeah, it could be, but you can't sell that much ice creams to people. The fuck we can't the coldest.

Yeah. They're going to get that at the Safeway. I'm in La Jolla this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, commie store, La Jolla kids.

And the next, the two weeks after that, I'm in San Jose, San Jose improv, September 9th through the 11th, second through the fourth. I'm at Caroline's in New York. Great club. And then I'm at the Denver,

downtown Denver Comedy Works the next weekend. Ooh, my mom's gonna come, she said. Oh. Yeah, that's my hometown. I like when your mom comes. Damn, bro. Me and Jeremiah are gonna be in Austin. We're doing some kind of comedy thing. The Moon Tower Festival?

Yeah, we're doing the Moon Tower Festival. Oh, good for you. Look at you out here doing it. I don't know where you get tickets, but check it out. I've never been to Texas. Probably Moon Tower Festival. I'll have tickets for you. YouTube.com slash Scissor Bros.

That'll be fun, man. Congrats, Steve. You'll be doing the damn thing. And I'll be in La Jolla next week and the weekend after you. Oh, fun, man. And, yep, that's it. That's what I got. All right, kids.

Love you. Amen, baby. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think. I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor.

I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous. Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrew Santino. Every song I hit like the great Bambino. Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos

But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude That got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz

Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible We'll be right back. King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Bee sting rat king King and the sting King and the sting

Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string