The Golden Hour - Episode 14: Cock Eye View

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

The boys discuss world events and talk Broadway Joe Dirt, sex surveys, cock cams, Jussie Smollett Juice Bar, Girbaud jeans, lip extensions, planking aunts from Montana, aunts with long clams and much more!Hims - https://www.forhims.com/KATSPostmates - promo code: KATS2019Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

back off my broccolini get your life together it is don't touch me bro i'm not touching you i could spit into your mouth whoa whoa bro okay no you want me to spin your mouth no you need cbd oil you need good luck i will spit into your mouth it's not good luck rub it into your face that's an irish thing dude you don't even know what's going on that's not irish dude you have no idea get your fucking life together bro my life together dude yeah if there's something shattered in the other room you see what that was oh yeah your life dude get a broom you get a broom bro get a broom in a freaking dust pan bro and get your fuckin' life together. You're making an awesome omelet?

Yeah, dude, sure. That's what I am, bro. Are we live right now? We up? We're up, man. The power's on? The power's on, man. Welcome to...

The King... And the Sting. Buzz Buzz. Gang gang. Gang gang. Gang gang, buzz buzz gang gang gang gang gang buzz buzz dude people a lot of people when i'm out doing comedy shows will come up and say um buzz buzz brendan do they ever yell that what was it we wish it was brendan buzz buzz no i don't get that either yeah they don't do any of that people bring me honey really people i'll honey. I'll get weird gifts. And then people, because they see the way you and I interact,

like we bust each other's balls, but we're boys. It's what we do. They'll come up to me and be like, man, you look like shit. I'm like, thank you. Thank you, man. Because you like the show? They're like, yeah, but you look like shit, bro. And then him and his girl, like old ladies, will start laughing.

I'm like, oh, cool. Thanks for that. Thank you for that. Get your life together, bro. like shit bro and then him and his girl like old ladies will start laughing like oh cool thanks for that thank you for that get your life together bro or a guy go hey nice to meet you man and go don't fucking touch me like all right man well they don't know what you're talking about and this looks bad right now okay so please treat me like a human being dang bro so they're really some people will uh they really give you they'll just rip your drip they'll just they'll rip my or they ask me to rip their drip. Oh, yeah. And if I do it, you hurt their feelings.

Yeah, one guy. They're not feel-von. One guy said, rip my drip, and he had a post-nasal drip, actually. And he spit in like a little baggie. And I was like, ah, very funny, disgusting. Disgusting, bro. Disgusting. Your mama came out to your show, I saw.

Oh, yeah. My mama just came out. That's where you get your hair from, bro. You think? I saw your mama has a nice set of hair on her. Oh, that's a good point, actually. I'm going to have to your show, I saw. Oh, yeah. My mom just came out. That's where you get your hair from, bro. You think? I saw your mom has a nice set of hair on her. Oh, that's a good point, actually. We'll have to put her hair up there. 100%.

We never want to rip into our moms, you know what I'm saying? But I saw your mom's hair. I thought, no, I'm not even trying to be funny. I was like, oh, damn. That's where Theo gets his hair from. Oh, yeah. She has nice-ass hair. She got that silly Nelson, bro.

She got that long, you know, she has a very Willie Nelson-esque female vibe. Yeah, for sure. You know? You guys look like a cover band for Motley Crue. Oh, yeah. That's cool. Oh, yeah. She could hold a rock over her head for I bet about 40 minutes.

Look at that, bro. A medium-sized rock with both hands. Your mom looks wiry, too. Oh, bro. She could beat my ass, bro, in the dark. Yeah. And that's a lot of that's feeling. She's a pretty lady, though.

How old's your mom? I'm not sure. She's 72, I think. Super pretty for 72. Thanks, man. Yeah, you know what? I honestly, there was a couple times this weekend, I was like, dang, mom's pretty hot, you know? Right?

Yeah. I saw a picture. I'm like, damn, Theo finally caught one in the web. That's it, dude. I didn't know it was your mom, though. Oh, yeah. You never know. Because silver hair is in.

Like Kylie Jenner would do it. So I didn't know. Oh, that's at Tucson. I saw your mom. Bro, that's it i didn't know it was your mom though oh yeah you never know because silver here is like in like kylie jenner do it so i didn't know oh that's that tucson bro that's that tucson special tucson bro you you know you uh a lot of women instead of wearing those um you know a lot of women these days will put a dream catcher in their vagina so they don't have children you know makes sense and then they feel incomplete um so it's like it catches the dreams what's that thing called a dream catcher yeah but they call it something different of a medical term dental dam dental dam no no that's something um no that's disgusting that's yeah yeah that's people who are yeah that's yeah yeah um yeah but your mom looked cool oh thank you man yeah she does have that kylie jenner kind of vibe a little bit yeah which is that tucson sort of like looking in the desert sort of like uh catch a snake in a heartbeat dehydrated um i don't know not no i'm not saying

like in tucson you get dehydrated oh yeah yeah yeah a lot of people you'll find a kidney stone and it's turquoise you know a guy'll piss a couple of fucking turquoise dice right out of his dick and that's tucson a lot of people go into business meetings with no shirt sleeves on cut them off leave them in the car it's that kind of place but i saw a school bus in tucson one time somebody had cut the entire top off that's a party bus and it was just driving a school bus dude getting three miles to the gallon hell yeah that's a party bus oh yeah i love it um and there were some kids on it i don't know if that was that seemed and like i don't even know if he knew that and like the 11th row there was a couple kids sitting back there yeah i forgot to drop them off forget the top off but that's tucson man it's that wild place and i used to go to school out there i was

out of santa rita high school and i used to watch you really yeah i used to watch mexican kids fighting the abandoned car wash after school that was good it was okay cock fighting really when two mexicans are going at it it It was extreme flyweight. Yeah. That's what I would call it. Damn, Holmes! It was like some of it was even roach weight. What the fuck, Holmes? Yeah.

Let's box, papa. Let's box. Let's box. Let's box, I say. And one guy would always put on that Lucha Libre mask, you know? Oh! And he'd walk over there and everybody would beat the shit out of him. Yeah, you got to. What are you doing?

Sweating? Yeah, people are fighting. Yeah, you got to tighten up. You got to fucking mask on. But yeah, that's that dream catcher belt of them. Yeah, you gotta. What are you doing? Sweating? Yeah, people are fighting. Yeah, you gotta tighten up. You got a fucking mask on? But yeah, that's that dream catcher belt, man. Yeah. Ready to rip this drip, bro?

Yeah, man. But yeah, people will bring me stuff. They'll bring like a little chunk of cheese for the rat, you know? I love it. Like a nice cheddar cheese or they bring you some bullshit Swiss or something?

No, it's different. Some guy brought me some Gruyere, I think. Some Gruyere cheese or something. Oh, I know what you're talking about. That's pretty cool for a rat. Yeah, it's different some guy brought me some grary vare i think some grary vare cheese or something oh i know what you're talking about that's pretty cool for a rat yeah it's not bad oh it's high-end shit i like the honey though i wouldn't mind some cheese though oh dude give me drugs though people being drugs i'm even a drug dude yeah yeah you look like a drug dude do i oh yeah bro i do i feel like you would just get like meth or heroin all the time bro you look like you look

like the biggest meth trafficker in fucking san jose trafficker no yeah maybe a like a meth crossing guard i could see that you know i could see oh there you go and then you're in yeah i could see that hit her on the neck bro that's cheer that's that real man dude that's dead you look like a deaf person doing cheerleading i look like a fucking manager for the dodgers wow bro let's get into rip my drip man because you really wow am i oh you a motto you're coming in full jesse smollett today huh what's Half black and half white. Yeah, bro. Oh, don't be mad. But what happened? You hurt your neck? Did somebody hit you in the back with a rock? Stretching, bro.

I got a new yoga instructor. Wow. And what? Oh, my God. Dude, what happened? Did you drop something? Nope. That's just me giving you the full frontal. I've been doing a lot of deadlifts, so I want to see them peaches out the back. Them hams out the back, bro. That peach looks cobb the back bro that peach looks

cobbled bro it looks like your shit got fucking already uh kind of don't be mad at the kicks either son oh you had a pet python as a kid uh-uh you had a python as a kid no but you look like the type my neighbor's snake got loose and uh and they found it years later and we could hear it at night and it was huge oh it was so big man they're scary anyway it was hard to sleep with you when you hear snakes in the wall well my shoes are made of that snake so carry on oh look at this are you starting shit somewhere with a couple of uh little people or mijitos looks like i'm talking shit to uh small people yeah it looks like you're talking shit to uh the people that performed uh that song all the small things at the mtv music awards about 20

years ago oh Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, it looks like you went up to Santa's Elves and started fucking selling bad oil to them, dude. Trying to get them to put outboard motor oil into a fucking actual vehicle. What an asshole. You're not feeling all black? I'm feeling, but look at you, dude. Look at that, bro.

What's up? I look like I'm surfing. Bro, you look 100% straight up flexican dude you look like you're doing yoga at uh at the uh at um at a correctionalist you got that bro took forever to get there um i look like tony hawk's fucking shitty security that's what i look like right now like i gotta fall him on a skateboard. No, you look like Timmy Penguin, bro. You don't look like Tony Hawk. You look like a fucking troubled bird. Jesus. And what are those pants made out of?

Spray-on licorice? Wow, bro. Spray-on licorice. Did your son paint those on you this morning? That shit is tight. Check out the peach bottom, baby. Look at that. This shit is tight. Dude, bro. Check out the peach bottom, baby. Oh, my God. Look at that fucking kikish.

Kikish. That's my fucking dick game, bro. Wow, bro. Damn. That's what I'm doing for you. That's that Dark Knight dick game. Let me see what the fuck you got on today, bro. Give me Theo.

Let me see what Theo's rocking with. Yeah, rip my dick, man. Oh, wow. Look at him. Really dressed up today. Yeah. Gray on see what Theo's rocking with. Yeah, rip my dress. Oh, wow. Look at him. Really dressed up today. Yeah. Gray on gray. It's not gray.

You look like Jesse Smollett's fucking event planner. This is taupe, you creep. Taupe. Dude. Dude, you look like Riff Raff's dumber brother that went to homeschool. First of all, Jesse Smollett's event planner is Frederick David Douglas Duke, bro. That's who's planning Jesse Smollett's events. What are you doing right here, man?

I'm doing some stretching, yes. Apparently you don't know how to do a lot of different stuff. You look like Joe Dirt live on Broadway. Oh, whatever, bro. Okay, that was pretty good. Finally, bro, only 14 episodes for you to tell a good joke. All right, let's move on. You're a handsome dude.

I was tying my shoe. That's what I was doing. I'm not mad at the outfit, man. You look like a fucking gym teacher. Whatever. That's your vibe, you know? You give off that vibe. Like, I'm a gym teacher, and I'm just going to coast through this year.

I love those teachers. I could see that. You look like a gym teacher, like a dude who's been teaching a bunch of gyms how to meet each other in a back alley, bro. That's what you look like. Yeah. Let's get into this episode, man. Let's fucking do this, dude. We've got one fan submission for Rip My Drip. This gentleman.

Holy shit, man. I didn't know that... That's a lot to take in. No, it's not, dude. Not if you know that Curt Schilling has spent a lot of his money on weird stuff, and it's crazy to finally see it surmount to this, man. Curt Schilling or Nick Nolte's fucking son? That's Curt Schilling, spent a lot of his money on weird stuff and it's it's crazy to finally see it surmount to this man Curt Schilling or Nick Nolte's fucking son that's Curt Schilling isn't it I thought it was Nick uh Nolte's uh stepbrother's dad or something no he invested he invested in a bad video game like I think uh where's he at there's too much going on here here's a trick

for you clean the fucking room how about that you want to make stuff disappear how about you a declutter pad oh that guy's a magician? Yeah, bro. There's an opening. David Blaine's been raping bitches. Dude. Yeah, been touching kids. Has he really?

I don't know about kids or rape, but I know he's in trouble. Well, I'll say this. So there's an opening because there's four magicians in the world. Yeah, that's a good point. And I'll say this, man. I saw David Blaine twice at the comedy store. And each time, no joke, one time he was on a double bicycle, a actual pedal bike, and he had a 19-year-old girl in the back.

Peacocking. Which is legal. It's not anything crazy, but I think he was probably about 36 or something. A little strange. Yeah, just a little reachy. One time I saw him at a- That's something you do at home. I agree.

Also, don't swag on us at the comedy store. Yeah, don't swag on us with a... On a tricycle. Yeah. Do magic, shut the fuck up. And the second time he had... He was on a Vespa scooter, and he had an extremely young woman on the back.

That's what he's into, bro. So I could see him just being into young women, but I don't know what this is about. And this isn't pedophilia. I don't think so. This guy is just... I think he's lost. I think he bought a fucking magic

kit on the internet and calls himself a magician now and he's clearly out of his parents basement and i hope it's going well for him oh this looks like sigur and roy's little uh fucking twink boy whatever that guy's name is man this guy describes himself as hawaiian albino chinese and ginger magician no you white bro You the white magician. So he's fucking chai bino, dude. Yeah. I tell you what, people are thirsty, man. They see an opening, they know David Blaine's being taken down, boom, magician's popping up all over.

So he's Scottish is what he's saying. No, he's white. All right, let's move on. Shout out to that guy. Is that a joke? That does it for Rip My Drip. And save that picture also because that guy, anything could happen with that guy. I agree.

I agree. You don't want to be liable if he freaks out. No, just a lot of kids toys in there. Like a lot of, he's wearing like a pirate's hat. Yeah. That's very strange. Very strange. Moving on to current events.

Number one, Martin Shkreli, also known as the Farmer Bro, who was sentenced to seven years in prison in 2018 for fraud, has been placed in solitary confinement for allegedly running his company from prison via a cell phone. Gangster. Is it? Pretty gangster. Run a business from your cell phone in prison? But imagine having to save the charge the whole time because you go in for six years, bro. You don't get a charger.

So you have to really— You got to sm because you go in for six years, bro. You don't get a charger. So you have to really. You got to smuggle a charger in the anus. No. Yeah, you do some pretty strange shit for a charger, bro. You got to trade like some Scooby Snacks for chargers. Oh, dude, you're going to do some way strange shit for a charger. A charger? You know how valuable a charger is out there?

Dude, it took 18 years for what's his name, Andy Dufresne, to get a chess set. God. Or to get a chess set. God. Or to get a poster of a hot girl. But now in 2019, you got to let the homies run the train. But dude, if you see somebody scratching their ass in the meeting room, and next thing you know, they're pulling out a charger. You know, this guy has 100% on his iPhone. Yeah, bring that magician back up.

Maybe he can fucking do it. Bring that boy, dude, fucking T-Mobile Thomas up. Maybe he can fucking sneak an iPhone charger in through his wrist. Oh, definitely. Look at that. He's got them sticking rings, bro. He's got those ring-a-lings. Dude, but that Farmer Bro kid, he kind of fucked over the pharmacy agency by getting those HIV.

By getting those HIV pills, remember? Oh remember oh yeah he wanted them all yeah but then he was charging the ton for him oh yeah fucking everybody over oh well they came out have you ever seen a video of him oh yeah yeah i used to follow him twitter i used to troll him people hate that dude i used to troll and then he bought the wu-tang tape right he bought the wu-tang i think they took it from him oh yeah dude look i say he put him in solitary confinement good because i think he seems it from him oh yeah dude look i say he put him in solitary confinement good because i think he seems like an egomaniac so now he gets exactly what he wants himself dude but he's running a company from fucking solitary confinement yeah you gotta appreciate the hustle i appreciate the hustle never let die yeah like you just won't stop you

know like you gots to get this business out. Well, first of all, how shitty are these prisons that they're not putting, like, something where the people can't use their cell phones from the prison, you know? Where you got to hide in your rectum to call home. Yeah. Dude, back in the day, you used to have to put a phone in your rectum, keep it in there. You couldn't get it out. So you had to sit on it certain ways on the numbers. You had to text with your anus. Yeah.

And next thing you know, bro bro you try hitting a one three times in a row next thing you know you call your mom and then you have to basically talk down towards your crotch like hey mom you're having a seizure yeah they're like uh yeah yeah bet on the bet on uh bet on icarus and race five you know that was it now you got the phone out and about in your hands it's just different yeah so this guy seems like shout out to prison i was the one thing in solitary confinement nobody could really you know fuck that dude up and every now and then somebody needs to get beat yeah you gotta get slapped around a little bit that's what i'm saying you come home won't you get slapped around a little bit well there's a bigger sense of humor in the world and i'd be surprised if this man didn't he got the hiv drug

he wanted to keep it all for himself and raise the prices. And what's something that's easy to contract in prison? Them AIDS. Them AIDS, boy. Don't fucking touch me, bro. TA, boy, don't touch me, bro. Don't fucking touch me. Don't touch me in prison. AIDS runs rampant.

Yeah. Oh, dude, they have teams in there. They have, like, shirts and scans. They have shirts and AIDS. People with, you know, different diseases. And if you can't decide what race to go with, you go with Team AIDS. Yeah. Because they run that bitch.

They run that, boy. You know, that's those white blood count bad boys. Yeah, you want to be first team all 8. Yeah, dude, definitely. At least all conference 8s. Dude, dunking when you're so... Yeah, I think it's going to be interesting. Good luck, Shkreli.

Good luck, Shkrelims. Next up, Kellogg is getting out of the cookie business. They sold brands Keebler, Famous Amos, and Girl Scout, among others, to Italian candy conglomerate Ferraro for $1.3 billion. Goddamn, that's some terrorist shit. How are you going to give up? You know what? Fuck Girl Scout cookies.

I'm sick of them always harassing me to buy Thin Mints and shit all the time. How would you make them available all year? And speaking of the Me Too movement, why don't Boy Scouts have their own fucking cookies? Where are the boys slaying the cookies? Them chocolate deaths. Oh, yeah. Well, look, I think you can't have these girls going door to door. A lot of men

been sitting at home. You know, it's uncomfortable. And boys are selling this now, that cheddar cheese corn. Ain't that a bitch? The girls get cookies and the boys get corn? That's Wisconsin. Where'd you learn that from, Wisconsin? Yeah, we were selling caramel corn, cheese corn.

You were? As a Boy Scout, yeah. You were going house to house selling corn? I mean, I wasn't really a go-getter with it. Yeah, I am. So what were you doing? Yeah. So yeah, they always have that kid who just sells to a couple people in his family.

Yeah. And their dad just... Nick, you sold four boxes in seven weeks. And three of them from your mom, one's to your aunt. We got problems here. Where's the rest of the fucking corn at? Nick just has powder all around his mouth, cheese powder. Gained 17 pounds.

Oh, yeah, man. That was crazy, dude. So that's so Midwest of somebody hustling around cheese corn. Dude, that's as Midwest as it gets. Fucking popcorn. You ever had a Thin Man or a Tagalong or a Samoa? Mm-mm. Oh, the Samoas I have, dude.

We used to catch them. It's kind of racist when you think about it. Mm, it's good. But I think this. I mean, I think that Kellogg's selling the shit out to the French, bro. Ferrer or Archer? I think it's... Those motherfuckers, dude.

It's Italian, though. Yeah, but you got it. Bro, but you open those things up. It's like a little patch. the shit out to the french bro farrah rusher i think it's uh those motherfuckers dude it's italian though yeah but you got it bro but you open those things up it's like a little patch it's like a bunch of little cabbage batch kids it's like a bunch of damn quidditch balls that's what i feel like when you get those things you feel like people should be flying by in the sky with broomsticks you know it don't taste that good they're wrapped nicely and don't taste that good i just don't like how you can only have them certain time of the the year. Like, we're in America. Let me have them whenever the fuck I want. Also, I don't have to buy.

What, you mean Girl Scout cookies? Yeah, bro. I'm talking about them Ferrero Rocher balls. I don't know what the fuck those are, dude. I'm still caught up on Girl Scout cookies. Yeah. I don't like how it's like North Korea. Yeah, I agree.

It's one time a year. It's very bait and switch. They could have nicotine in them. Who knows, man? Who knows? I don't know what those little girls are doing. They're off time with the fucking cookies. Well, if you're sending little girls to people's house door to door, it's a dangerous thing.

Yeah, preach. You know, I don't care if they have cookies or not. Like send Nick with the cookies and the fucking popcorn. Yeah, and the fucking pocket and the handful of sweaty fucking cheese curds, you know? Start slinging cheese, Nick. Yeah. Just slices of cheddar, bro. I can see that.

House to house. what else we got last one according to a survey that was published in the washington post americans are having less sex than ever much of it is attributed to young people especially men under 30 since two in 2008 men under 30 only 10 of men under 30 were having not having sex and in 2018 28 of men under 30, only 10% of men under 30 were not having sex. And in 2018, 28% of men under 30. That's not confusing at all the way you said that. I think... What do you think about this, man? No shit, man.

No shit. Dudes are so stressed to make money. Fuck busting nuts, bro. There's porno now. Every device. I pick up my freaking phone right now. I got hot bitches in there. Bust a nut, get to work.

Nine to five. Nine to five. Oh, yeah. Oh, you could get some warm pussy out of a Keurig these days. There's porno everywhere. You can't stay away from it. And I'll say this, though, that these fellas, what is this about again, Nick? Less people having sex than ever.

Under 30, though. I don't believe it, man. Really? I don't trust any of these Washington Post, any of these CNN. Fake news? Any of these news., any of these CNN. Fake news? Any of these news. You've been hanging out with Eddie Bravo? The same people that said, though, the election was going to be 80% to 20%.

All of those motherfuckers took a nail. All of them had these, whatever these are called. What is it called? Surveys? Surveys. They're asking people. They want to ask to get the answers they want. I don't believe this.

I think they're trying to get young men to think that they're not having sex. So they'll start busting nuts? No, so they'll just want to become consumers. If you don't have any sex drive left, you have nothing left. Word.

So keep your fucking nuts ripe. You know what I'm saying? Don't sit on a hot plate for too long and burn your seed down and stay woke, bro. Get out there and fuck somebody

who's willing to fuck you. Yeah, bust nuts. Don't fuck the unwilling. Yes. On that note, we'll move to King It or Sting It. The first one comes from Michael Snow. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, motherfuckers. I got a King It or Sting It for you.

I saw a new product that came out that is basically a GoPro for your cock. I think it's called the cock cam. It's like a truck cam. And it slides on, and you get that cock eye view. So king it or sting it, the cock eye view. Damn, I'm not trying to have a cock eye view of things going on. You know what I'm saying? Aren't you, though?

You seem like the kind of guy that would. That would like a cock ring or a cock cam? Bro, you seem like a goal line referee at a gang bang, bro. Definitely. Just trying to see if you cross the finish line. All right. You seem like that fucking. I want my eyes on the dicks.

That little lurker, dude. Yeah, that dick lurker. Like that pink eye professional, dude. You seem like that real lurker. Like the fucking eye on the submarine, bro. That's what I'm trying to get, you know? So what do you think? What can you do?

That looks like a real tiny ring. Can you do pictures or what is it? And does it post to my story? What do I do with the tape? What can you do pictures or or what is it and does it post to my story what do i do with the tape what do you do with that what would you do with that fucking tape what are you gonna do with that let's say you hit it from behind you're getting a fucking 30 minute session of just a asshole think about it that's all you're getting is an asshole view and people like that brother that's what i'm here to tell you. Really? So I also want to tell you this, dude, that they have, I'm not carrying, what am I now?

Huh? I got to, now I got to carry, my penis has to carry not only the weight of all the stress of my fucking work week, not only is it already propped up by six milligrams of fucking bootleg, you know, wiener pills. Blue chew. Oh yeah, them real reacher makers bro but now i gotta carry a damn camera on its back dang and a boom mic yeah who am i fucking steven spielbust damn how the fuck why do i have to carry a camera on the back of my cack you know i agree bro just let me can we live can we bust nuts Do we have to get that close to everything? Dude, this is that flow.

I feel bad enough for the sharks. Yeah, that's that. What is that camera called? Do you put on something small where you can just take it in? A GoPro, yeah. That's that cock pro. This is, yeah, I don't know what that is, man. Dick go.

They call it dick go? That's that blow pro, dude. Cock cam. Now, if you were getting a BJ, that's that blow pro. That's what it's for, bro. Don't fucking touch me when we're talking about dicks. Don't touch me. but here's the thing now you have all this video which it could be anyone though if you're getting a if you're filming a blow job you're just getting two eyes it could be anyone

now here would be a great thing to do with this cam would be to put it on a hot dog at one end and slowly see yourself rolling up that thing pretty quick boy and eating that hot dog boy deep throwing the hot dog not deep throwing it enjoying it and having it and having a meal and then what are you gonna do with that video bro send it to people that like to watch people have uh you know good franks oh look at that you're trying to get that foot long and film it yeah oh we can figure that out but then that's more exciting dude we should let's order one and let's put it on a hot dog and we'll each do the hot dog yeah let's do on the hot dog let's do it on a bratwurst too just a thick thick bratwurst and we'll just fucking oh god it's just lunch man yeah i know but it's gonna be fun to

watch you know what's gonna look like it's gonna look like uh arnold schwarzenegger in total recall you remember when he gets out of the fucking out of mars and he's all that's what it's gonna look like bro no i was an infant when total recall came out it's gonna look you're older than me yeah no i'm not dude that's your imagination you need to get a calendar and yeah that's what's gonna look like me consuming the hot dog i'm gonna enjoy mine i'm that slow rider boy i'm that otis redding on a frank son i take it easy i devour mine bro i'll take it easy on a frank dude not me i've engulfed that thing but now let's see what i'm saying don't let it don't

let them sentence us to some sexual bullshit let's find unique ways to youth that use things eat a banana bro yeah Eat a banana, bro. Yeah, eat a banana with your buddy, you know? Yeah, and you both film it, man. Oh, bro, I'd love to watch some bad girl get potassiumed up more than I would

in another bang session that I can find anywhere else. Maybe you can get two-for-one cameras. You can put two cameras on a banana, have your girl try to deep throw both of them.

Really? Let's see how many she can do. How many cameras she can take? How many bananas she can take. Yeah, I guess you can do. Like, get weird about it, bro. Yeah, or you can have a contest with your chick. Or have your girl enjoy some breakfast and make it calm, brother.

Yeah, look at that. Now think of a camera on the end of that. Theo, put your boner away. You put a camera on the end of that. Who is that, huh? Is that Jussie Smollett? Jussie Smollett should open up a juice bar. That's not a bad idea. All right, next.

Oh, King of the Sting. It is a bad idea, dude. Let's keep going. I'm going to King fucking cock cams. Because I like the idea of putting on a bratwurst scene. Okay, I'll King them that way, man. I'll King them there. But I'm not trying to see your girl's asshole.

Well, I just think, you know, we got enough sexualization, man. Let's rethink ways that we could use stuff that could be enjoyable. Let's use technology for more than just sex. Yeah, bro.

Lay off that fucknology, bro. Dude, get yourself a six-inch sub, a meatball sub. Put a camera on the end and fucking deep-throat it. I wish we had one on the end of Jussie Smollett's

little six-incher that he bought, dude. Yeah, me too. a bullshit bullshit turkey yeah all right keep it rolling brother next up from andrew middleton what's up theo what's up brendan this is andrew coming from ohio out on the open road gang baby all right i got a quick king or sting it for you hot guy country a co-worker all right let me know love the show shout out to that dude he said dating a co-worker now first of all he looks like a

wall-to-wall trucker whatever whatever it is, you know? What is that called? You just mean a truck driver? Truck driver. Yeah. So if he, a co-worker, you don't have a co-worker, so I'm thinking he's thinking kidnappy. That or, yeah, he's either going to kidnap his manager, who he calls and gets the route from. That's true.

Or he's going to pick up a lot lizard. Now, that wouldn't be a co-worker. They're independent. You can't talk about lot lizards anymore. Every episode, you bring them up. Well, we have truck drivers every episode that's a good point man that could be yeah respect now they're now they're subcontracted they're not under employment of the actual truck okay so it's not a real co-worker so a co-worker would be what uh your driving partner which is typically another dude is it really maybe he's into that

right maybe you want to sleep you know for 12 hours while the other dude drives oh yeah or maybe you want to driving mr darren dude what's the thing called maybe you want to get busy when you park what does guy ask dating a co-worker king it or sting it dude well i don't know about truck driving but if you're in a normal office where else you're gonna meet people i hate how they always ban shit like in the nfl or in the ufc can't date ring card girls. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Where am I going to meet someone? She's hot as fuck. I'm here.

She's there. Yeah, tell that to Uriah Faber, dude. He fucking won't tell him that, bro. Yeah, he can't tell anyone that. Yeah, dude. He can't tell anyone that. No. Dude, everybody's dating the ring card girls, man.

You know? You ain't lying. So dating a co-worker? But like if you're in the office, you know what ain't lying um so dating a co-worker like if you're in the office you know i'm saying like if you're in the office and there's some bad secretary who's just like looking you up and down why not dude yeah i remember when i used to wash dishes dude if you fucked any waitress you were like the king yeah when you were the dishwasher dude because you had to go you had to like i mean you had to really low class oh yeah you had to really hustle oh you had to go. You had to like, I mean, you had to really. You're low class. Oh, yeah. You had to really hustle. Oh, you had to hustle.

You had to spit some game. And there was always that one girl, she dyed her hair purple every now and then, and she was going through some tough stuff at school. Her boyfriend cheated on her. Yeah. There you are washing dishes all wet and shit. Yeah. Making $7 an hour.

And you had no pickup line, so I would just spray her with that hot water gun when she'd come in the back. Yeah, and get that sponge. Yeah. And just stop fucking washing her neck and washing my body when she come back there. Fuck, yeah. But dude, yeah, I think. So you got to have a chance to date a coworker.

There's nothing wrong with it. They're still a human being. Human rules apply. Don't rape anybody. And don't be a straight up, you know, too much of a lurker, bruh. But also, you don't have to fuck on the job. Yeah. They can fuck off hours.

Yeah, fuck somewhere else. Yeah. I king it. I'll king it. The truck driver asking is a little strange, but whatever. Yeah. Next one for King It or Sting It from Ray Martinez. Okay. Let's see, Ray. Alright, boys. Theo,

Brendan Showers. I saw Brendan was in New Mexico a couple months ago. Brian Callum, he gets you out here, Theo. But was in New Mexico a couple months ago. Brian Callum. He gets you out here, Theo. But anyways, king of this thing. Adult braces. Thinking about getting them, man.

It looks like you're getting them. It's too late. We say you've got to get them. Just early enough. My man. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, brother.

Where you at on adult braces? Look, man, I like it. I think it reminds you of what it's like to be a child, you know, get a little piece. I like to do childish stuff as an adult, you know, get you a... Like wear child clothes? Yeah, nothing too small. But yeah, I'll wear like a, you know, a turtleneck with like my name on the back of it every now and then like that I had as a child or I'll, you know, get a little truck I had as a child and, you know, play with it for a minute or do this.

Buy a coloring book and just shit your pants on Monday night? No, no. What? I'm trying to relate to you. Dude, I'm not like a method actor. I'm just talking about having something nice. Maybe look at some old photos or something. Or do something like that.

Get children's braces as an adult. And that's the thing. Also, at that point, you're kind of a lab animal. You look more like an experimental human. If you have braces as an adult. It looks's the thing. Also, at that point, you're kind of a lab animal. You look more like an experimental human. If you have braces as an adult... It looks like things aren't going well if you're 44

and you got braces. Like, why not get the fucking Invisalign? Yeah. Why are you getting the full metals? Yeah. Why are you going metals?

But metals are reliable. They're trustworthy. And you're also keeping the steel industry in business. When people started doing Invisalign, that's when a lot of people's families went out of business

in some of these, you know, in Buffalo and in Pittsburghittsburgh the steel yeah you gotta think about it even on a small scale every little bit they're like little train tracks on your teeth and you were a tough person you had to carry you know two ounces of steel and you're fucking and you and you yipper you know nowadays you're around plastic dude they're doing braces through the mail now yeah you just show them a picture of you smiling. They send you a mouthpiece. Yeah. And bro,

here's the thing. If you buy braces through the mail, you're a fucking idiot, bro. You're a bonafide idiot. You're going to do braces through the mail. How about, what about this colonoscopy we do fucking via email?

You know, you out of your mind, you can't fix your teeth through the mail bro but here's the thing do you trust anyone who's gone through life at 46 years old and at 46 you know what i want to fix my teeth oh yeah i do it's a little strange to me like just rock the fucked up teeth that might be your personality bro some people they want nobody wants to be a real gorilla i I think. I get it. Now, there's some style to it, but if you're out there monkeying around. There's some swag to it, though.

When you got that one kind of hitter just sticking out the side. Yeah, but if you're monkeying around in your own enamel gym, bro, then that shit ain't fucking legitimate, dude. A lot of them are. Like, I used to have a lot of spaced out teeth, and I wish I still had them sometimes. The spaced out ones? Yeah. I feel like it'd bring more flavor to you. I had large spaces. Now, what I didn't. I feel like it'd bring more flavor to you. I had large spaces.

Now, what I didn't like was you would lose a food. You'd be talking to somebody in a little piece of salmon or something. You had that hippo structure teeth? Yeah, you did. You got options for food to leave your mouth. Now, what did you do for your teeth? What did I do? I got Invisalign, man.

Wow. Yeah. Because when I was young, some of my siblings, I could get the braces or I could get some Gerbo jeans when I was young. You're talking about them Jinkos? No, Gerbos, bro. And I chose them bitches, bro. And I looked fly as fuck.

Yeah. I wore them bitches nine days a week, son. They were nice, too. African cut, son. Jabo? I didn't know Jabo. I know Jinko,b bro gerbo jeans daddy french and this before we sold america out to ferrara rosters bro fuck them get them hitters bro

blink a thing click on them hoes son that's them right there yeah i mean that's a real urban version give me some basic hitters man hitters, man. Right there. No, right there in the middle. Boom. They were bagging, huh? There you go. Zoom in on that cat. Gerbos.

See, the crotch had a little bit of writing on it, so people had to read by your crotch, and you had a chance at opportunity for your dick. Different times, boy. Marie Francois. Dude, you ever seen the Lucky Jeans? When you unzip it, it says Lucky You. I feel like it's a Me Too movement. Way to happen. That's irish man i'm not familiar with those jeans i knew i knew jinkos you guys remember jinkos in here jabos were flexing not homeschooled jinkos gutter bro jinkos meant you were gonna you

know that was people you know it was a lot of people that did spray painting and shit like that that's true jabos were really you could wear them to church you could wear them to a funeral sounds fancy they were nice man but it's french you know down in louisiana you had a lot of french stuff oh that makes sense yeah you had french stuff crescent rolls gerbo jeans you know you had some fucking shitty hats what else we got arliss rock was it was that was it what were we on rip my drip what the fuck are we on can you it or sting it. Adult braces. Uh, yeah, if you need them, sure. So I'll king it.

Yeah. But also, it's basically like buying a fucking convertible yellow Corvette. It's a midlife crisis. Personal choice. Just rock your fucking teeth. I like them. King it. I like them.

It's your personal choice. Last one from king it or sting it from our man, J-Rod. Yeah. Let's rock. Boom. King the sting. It's a dirty artist J-Rod. Yeah. King of the Sting, it's a dirty artist J-Rod. King of the Sting. I love this guy.

Doing 69 with their clone for a million dollars. Fuck, man. Slucking hard, slucking true. Don't you tell me what to fucking do. Money. Money. 69 you're cloned for a million wow you would do it you would definitely do it no you would definitely do it you know both you have low sex drive so i feel like you and your partner just fall asleep i could see that you

just talk about and fall asleep do we get a couple hundred bucks for just discussing it and laying there next to each other i i'm confused though two who gets the million dollars me or the clone because he's still living do we split it because that's only 500k i ain't sucking dick for 500k a mil okay so and he's awesome but dude you have to put your own body in your own mouth and you're not controlling it, bro. That's crazy. Well, you know, but you know yourself. He's not going to freak out.

You know what's going on. You don't know what your clone is doing. What if he's doing clone dope or fucking clone coke, bro? Yeah, that's a good point. Maybe he's not into the same stuff. Yeah. Bro, that's crazy. You have to go to his place or he has to come to your place there's too many variables i probably it's gonna be a hard pass for me really yeah i'm gonna say sting that mill now i'm gonna say

sting and i'm all set bro really yeah so you got to hook up with your clone 69 and is your clone made out of actual human cells? Or is it more like plastic, you think? Or fiberglass? Like one of those vegan burgers? Yeah. But also, is the clone like, is it a transgender version of me? Or is it just like me?

It's a fuck boy. Like, is it two fuck boys going in? I don't know. You're a fuck boy, dude. Or we're about to be some fucking boys. Or is it a transgender B-Shob? You know what I'm saying? I don't know you're a fuck boy or we're about to be some fucking boys or is it a transgender b shop you know what i'm saying like a like a like a fucking bruce jenner style you know what i'm saying you look at a guy who only delivers boxes to claire's boutique dude that's the fuck you look like and i'll say would you do it huh would you do it there's so much going on

there i mean you would really have an opportunity to get to know yourself. Do you get to ask your clone any questions? No, man. You just hit it and quit it, and he's on his fucking way with 500K. He's like, later, nerd. And where's he taking it? Now, if it's your clone, maybe he's not sober. He's going to spend it on fucking whores and drugs.

You know what I'm saying? I guess I would do it just because I would want to be, you know, try to help my clone out. If he's going through a tough time, he might need the money. So I'll king it. Yeah, king it. Damn, you gave me an easy on that. I was joking.

Well, no, you got me on the helping him out. What if my clone's like down and out, bro? He's like, dude, I really need this money. Let me suck your dick. Yeah, well, blowing himself ain't going to help him, dude. I'll sting it. Nope, king it. Wow. All right, that does, dude. I'll sting it. Nope, king it. Wow.

All right, that does it for king it or sting it. Let's move on and help some people with relationship advice. Oh, here we go. Oh, favorite part of the show, man. What up, Brendan? What up, Theo? What's up, girl? My name's Stephanie.

I'm calling from Boston, Massachusetts. Gang. Cold. Didn't get to make you a show, Theo, but another time, another place. Let's have relationship advice. My girl, well, my ex-girl, we broke up. She left me for someone else, and now she's calling back like two months later saying she made a mistake, saying she loves me, saying that she wants me back.

Can she do anything? So I'm kind of stuck because she really hurt me, but I really was in love with this girl so much. Hey, she's really hurt about it. So I give her a second chance. So yeah, I'm kind of stuck, seeing if you guys can help me out. I love you both so much, you guys make me laugh in the darkest of places, for real, like keep doing you guys, because you're helping a lot of people, whether you recognize it

or not. I love you both, and you guys have a good day later dang love you stephanie wow very sweet message thank you for that uh for the kind uh words you seem like a nice young lady it's nice that you care enough about yourself to think about this i think you know like have you ever had that like i uh yeah and i gave in and i went back with them and i always kind of you lose for me anyway i lost a little bit of like uh integrity kind of a little bit because it was tough to kind of stay on your ground yeah that makes sense but also sometimes i'm not defending what that lady did but maybe she didn't realize what she had one out was like oh it's better on this side of the grass went out there's like oh actually she's dope i'm

never doing that again right and then went back was like i'm never doing i'm in i'm in 100 yeah so it's either gonna be dope but it's gonna have to be on stephanie where she can get over the fact that she stepped out on her that's if you can't get over that it's never gonna work that's true if you can't get all that then you're just gonna be holding that against her the whole time yep it's not gonna work you're just gonna be pinning the freaking you know the trauma on that donkey constantly yeah so if you can't if you're never you're gonna have to net you can't mention it again you're gonna have to forgive her and then you guys should definitely talk about it though yeah right away air it out and move the fuck on but if you can't move on go somewhere else if you can't move on then just take more time and then

maybe try it again later on when things aren't as fresh two months things things can still be a little bit fresh true shout out to stephanie though yeah good luck but it seemed like you have a very the ability to love others pretty easily and agree and that you value that so you know i say give it a try if you can get over it yeah i say give it a try if you can get everyone makes mistakes yeah everybody makes mistakes that's true so and you gotta try to communicate as clearly as you can and if it doesn't work out that's okay at least you tried all right the next one comes from savannah okay so relationship advice when your best friend is in love with you but you aren't sexually attracted to them at all what do i do do we try do we not

help me out it's your best friend like a warlock but here's the thing here is eventually there's someone out there who's jay-z sick of fucking beyonce so eventually you're just hanging out with your best friend so there's gonna come a time down the relationship when you're so used to each other you could be dating fucking jessica simpson or prime karma electra and a prime and eventually that's vanilla ice cream to you you're used to it all day so it's your best friend friend. You guys vibe a little bit. Might as well try it because everyone, that's what it turns into.

If you don't marry your best friend, you're fucked. Yeah. You know what they say, boy, don't come on my back and tell me it's raining, daddy. Yeah, you're right. And I'll say this.

God, that's the truth. What was the lady asking? She wanted to know if she should date her best friend even though she's not sexually attracted to him. I'd have to see the friend though too. Like if he's like super busted, some things you just can't get over. Well, so you date him if she's not sexually attracted to him. I'd have to see the friend, though, too. Like, if he's, like, super busted, some things you just can't get over. Well, so you date him if you're not sexually attracted.

I mean, I think there's value in having, like, a relationship sometimes where sex isn't the main thing. Sometimes people go for sex as the main thing, and the odds of that working out I don't think are that great. No. So I think you can have a great relationship with somebody, you know, and maybe you guys get a little bit of sex here and a little bit of sex there you know some door-to-door sex but i don't think that um i don't think you should just have to have sex with somebody just because

you know they want to kind of and you're just kind of on the fence about it um but you could also always try it y'all could try giving each other a little hand job maybe he's a real tomcat in the sack though maybe he looks like shit but in that sack that fucking shitty caterpillar grows wings and just fucking starts a pump turns into a real fuck falcon yeah you know real fuck fly so yeah if you guys are already really close i think as long as you try it and communicate during it you can be like oh this is working this isn't working and then just figure out as you go sometimes it could just be a hand job y'all are doing or you know masturbating somewhere indoors or outdoors yeah using your feet get weird or yeah let's know if he's a fuckfly if it does happen be buddies man yeah be fuckflies what else we got that does it for

relationship advice and just a reminder uh we want to solve your problems so send in those video questions for relationship advice. People are sending in text. We need video questions. We need the video, y'all. Send videos. It's teamwork. We put out video when you put in video and we put out your video with our video.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Yeah. Teamwork makes the cream work, too. That's what I'm talking about, boy. Yeah, get that cream. Yeah. Don't wink at me when you say cream, though. I didn't wink at you.

I took it in my eye. All right. What else we got? Next up. Don Don't wink at me when you say cream, though. I didn't wink at you. I took it in my eye. All right. What else we got? Next up. Don't fucking wink at me, bro. Is Debate Club. And the first one's coming all the way from Glasgow, Scotland. Oh, fuck yeah.

From Wade. Oh, don't you know. Hey, what up, Theo? What up, Brendan? What's up, Doug? Brad King, Beast Inc. Coming to you live from right in the middle of Louisville and Nashville. You know what I'm saying?

Scotland? Right in Kentucky. It's all up in this. Quick debate club. Taking it back to when I was 12 years old, if you know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Faith Hill versus Shania Twain. I busted nuts with these girls, too.

Which one for the win? Gang, gang, skeet, skeet. Skeet, skeet, baby. Love the show, boys. Thank you, player. Thanks, dog. In Scotland, apparently that guy bought a bad map when he was young. Yeah, same map that I had.

I'm going to say this. Yeah, same map that your mom used at homeschool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll take kick, turn, stomp, stomp. I'll take that Shania Twain all day, boy. Feel like a woman. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Getting crazy.

Do what I dare. Short skirt. Uh-oh, uh-oh. Living crazy. The way I feel. Listen, I'm also... God, Faith Hill is looking drippy, drippy there. The picture that we got, Faith Hill all goddamn day.

Shania Twain, though, in her heyday, now as far as musically, Shania Twain all goddamn day. She has the hits, but Faith Hill can fucking get it. Faith Hill for me, bro. Yeah, Faith Hill is more done up and done out. She also has Tim McGraw, so if you're making love to Tim mcgraw you're going to be able to sing you're doing it right yeah you're doing right two songbirds yeah dude look i'll tell you this if bubba sparks fucking busts on my back i'm gonna be able to fucking drop a few bars myself you know what i'm

saying i'm gonna be that stands a bad boy so what i'll say this though shania twain did it at a time uh she's a brunette that did it a lot of blondes can do it they do it blondes blondes blondes it's easier you got faith he'll die to hear but yeah i hear you yeah and shania did it straight out of the gate and she's like 40 native american oh wow or she's in narcotics anonymous i'm not sure but there's an na next to her name i know i've seen in different articles and i'll say this man shania as far as the hits too no yeah Faith Hill must be 6'7". I'm going Faith Hill. What's the vote?

Yeah, let's see what the audience. Shania Twain. Kick turn. Stomp, stomp. I don't know that one, bro. I know. He with the toe and the boots and the murk and the peaking in the backseat. Uh-oh, Tony crazy.

Do what I do, short skirt. Uh-oh, uh-oh. I'm working at Friendly's we will love my smile no oh no that's not how it goes what else we got next up from Haley R oh Haley R what's up beasting and the rat king this is Haley from Iowa and I've got a debate for you would you rather have a girl with nasty teeth or bad acne you don't have either girl you got nice teeth and good skin here's here's a theory I grew up with around the gym yep is whenever you saw a girl with acne that meant her home home wardens were off like she was all crazy

she had acne she was down the fuck she was the frisky type really yeah that was the word on the street girl to acne she was down well she was the frisky type really yeah that was the word on the street girl the acne she was down well a lot of girls too got early on that creatine maybe or the neroids yeah yeah oh yeah i used to date a girl one of my first girlfriends was doing i think deca 200 or something she would lift me up after school yeah and hold me like that and carry you home no just hug me a little bit. But it was tough. Was it kind of nice, though? It was nice a little bit.

She was cool. She was strong. She was cool. But I'll say this. What was the question again, man? Teeth or acne, bro? Oh, teeth or acne. I'll go with either one.

You know, I had both growing up. I don't mind. I remember this one girl. We both had acne, and we'd get so nervous when we'd get near to kiss each other. Our pimples would just literally bust on each other. Like a fucking pepperoni pizza. It was sexy as fuck, it was sexy as fuck dude it turned you on yeah when somebody girl i got this big old white head yeah and it just busts because you're just so much friction oh god disgusting oh dude look like sabaro's fucking pizza i thought it was cool man i thought it was pretty cool when it's

young when you're that age just even have that much sebum flying out of your body naturally a lot of fluids flying very beautiful man yeah you're like a little fucking uh old faithful um so it's fucked up teeth or bad acne fuck man sometimes teeth brings character you know if you got them them fucked up teeth uh i'm gonna go yeah i would go i would say this with teeth you can get lip extensions. You can get, you know. Wear a mouthpiece. Yeah, you can wear a mouthpiece.

You can wear fake teeth now. They have around Halloween. Vampire teeth. Yeah. So I think there's different all types of cures. Skin, there's nothing. If you got them craters, you're just rolling to work with the craters. Well, dude, skin is the Lord's textile, Brian.

You got to pray, you know, to get, you got to pray it away sometimes. That's God's canvas. Oh, dude, it is. you gotta pray it away sometimes. That's God's canvas, you know. Oh, dude, it is, yeah. He draws some red dots on the canvas. Sometimes he does when you're so full

of that fire. Yeah, I'm gonna go with, I'd rather have a girl with fucked up teeth. Yeah, I'd rather probably have that grill, a real grill, a little baby grill-rilla.

People would rather have bad acne. Wow, 70%. Jesus Christ. Or what would you rather have than a girl is what the question was. Yeah.

What else, Doug? Last one for debate club comes from Nick. Dope name. Right. Dope Nick. Brandon Showers. Theodore Van Winkle. What's up, guys?

What's up, guys? My name's Nick. Coming at you from Cumming, Georgia. Yeah. That's the name of my city, Cumming, Georgia. The bus bell theo i would recommend you not show up here because i think just seeing the street signs would probably just set you off but uh anyway guys for one uh happy late birthday to both of y'all uh hope they

were great i see brother um i got a debate club for you since y'all hit the um hit the georgia hometown y'all went to to chick-fil-a over In-N-Out. I got to ask the breakfast side of it now. Y'all going Waffle House or IHOP? Obviously, we're leaving Denny's out of this because Denny's is just complete horseshit. So Waffle House, IHOP, that's your debate. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. You guys come down to Atlanta sometime soon.

Guarantee you'll have at least like five people in the crowd, and it's probably just going to be me with my friends. So love you guys. Take care. Gang, bro. Skeet skeet, brother. Yeah, that's a coming country, bro. Yeah, dog.

The high school team mascot is the bus. The bus, just a big old fucking eggplant. The Rorschachers. The Rorschachers. As far as, dude, fuck IHOP. Remember IHOP, their whole campaign where they tried to stay in the international house of burgers yeah when they did that bullshit they got such backlash they're just like oh fuck it sting it we're gonna stick with uh pancakes yeah fuck ihop waffle house all day i like i like the waffle house i'd never know what to expect

man it's you rolling the dice you go in there you might get shanked oh yeah you might meet a friend you might meet a girl you might get beat up in the parking lot oh yeah i like that well there's a lot of racial violence too at a lot of these places late at night you know you could see it constantly you know there's a lot of and you know and different people fight in different places and you see a lot of black people fighting at uh at denny's in the middle of the night or waffle house you've seen anyone get beat up at IHOP? Never. Pussies.

Yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying? Like, IHOP's a little more, like, the suburbs. Yeah. Safe. Yeah, they'll talk shit. They'll, like, tweet. They'll, like, threaten to sue you and give you a bad Yelp review.

I like the risk of a shank at the Waffle House. Oh, Waffle House is fucking the you know it's breakfast ufc right over there but you'll see people going at it dude you'll see somebody beating each other up left hook and a fucking waffle for a side of eggs bro catching a fucking yelp to the dome dude it's very risque in fact people are constantly sending me links of people getting uh murdered and beaten at uh danny's and in different breakfast places oh interesting you know at this point you almost want to switch to lunch and say, fuck breakfast, if it's that dangerous. That's what I say.

Everyone should fast. It's a dangerous game, baby. Dangerous. You want breakfast? How bad do you want it, bro? But otherwise, Waffle House all day, man. Waffle House. Dude, I remember I went into a Waffle House one time, actually, when I was doing drugs

and tried to get people to sign up for a softball team to play against another uh late a huddle house across town and uh some guy fucking some guy fucking punched me yeah you're damn right he did no one's trying to sign up for a goddamn softball team while they're at breakfast i had three people signed up and they had a big brother that was working on the grill and i kept trying to recruit him oh i said you could hit homers you can be the frank thomas bro you can be the big herd over here. He didn't want to hear it. And he got fired three times while I was in there because the grill guy always gets fired and then comes back.

They'll go back. They have to have him. Oh, you got to have him, bro. You got to have him. Like the quarterback, bro. You can't fire the quarterback. Oh, dude. You're back.

You're fired. You're back. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, that's Ryan Leaf on them fucking McGriddles. So you got to really have somebody in there. What's the fan say? Dude, I saw a guy grill up a couple of Quaaludes right there.

Just grill up a couple of... Might as well. Oh, yeah. Grill up a couple of things of fentanyl right there on the grill. Pretty beautiful hot fentanyls. Hot fentanyls. 55% of the fans say Waffle House. Well played.

Waffle House, the cheese is better, the eggs and cheese. And they have raisin bread. Yes. And theyaffle House. Well played. Waffle House, the cheese is better, the eggs and cheese, and they have raisin bread. Yes, and they have class. All right. Well. That does it for Debate Club. Moving on to the last segment of the day, flaunt my aunt. F-my-a, boy.

And the first one was submitted from Benjamin off of Snoop Dogg's Instagram. This is Aunt Uncle Jerry. Aunt Uncle.. Aunt Uncle... Oh! Oh, okay. God diggity dog, you know. No background on Uncle Jerry. Culture vulture right there.

No background on him? Do you need some... There's no info? This guy's like every part of a funeral. Is that Johnny Depp? That's fucking Johnny Diphtheria, dude. This guy seems like he definitely needs to have some tests done medically. Yeah, he does not look all the...

Look at his nails and the cockatiel out the front. I bet you that dude has a couple cock cams. Oh, he's got that shit. He probably put some fucking filters on him and shit. The Tim Burton filter. Oh, yeah. He's got that. He also has that.

He has that Nightmare Before Christmas vibe. That's what's going on there. Oh, and he gots that New Year's weave, too. Can we go back to this picture? Oh, shit. He gots that New Year's weave. Boy, he's got that Sugar Ray Ponzel. Damn, looks like Jeff Foxworthy.

Oh, yeah. If Jeff Foxworthy made every bad choice in his life. Looks like Jeff Queesha Foxworthy, too, dude. Well, here's what I'm saying is, he has what is predominantly regarded as an urban-style female haircut. Culture vulture. Something you would see, yeah, in Johannesburg or in Cape Town. You guys had a long song just stanzing out of his dome.

Also, get your flat tits out of my face, too. Ain't no one trying to see that, bro. Put a little more effort into it if you're going to do it. Just don't toss on that fucking bikini and then get a weave and think you're all sexy and shit and get your nails done. I agree. Get the tits done, bro.

If you're going to post this, go extra with it. Yeah, he seemed like a thought at Edgar Allan Poe Memorial. He looks like Mr. Steal Your Man, too, if you got the right kind of man. You know what I'm saying? I don't trust him like Mr. Steal Your Man, too, if you got the right kind of man. You know what I'm saying? I don't trust him. Mr. Steal Your Mayonnaise, dude. He looks like a basketball wife.

But for one of the Charlotte Bobcats, dude. Or for one of the Phoenix Suns who have 11 wins this year. Jesus Christ. He looks like the newest character of Love and Hip Hop, New Orleans. Dude, yeah. Love and Hip Hop Junior High School at Edgar Allen Poe Elementary. the newest character of love and hip-hop new orleans dude yeah love and hip-hop junior high school at edgar allen poe elementary can we zoom in on his tattoo yeah what's his tat say he's got

that upper tit tat dude he got that one by his cockatiel too like a stripper can we zoom in on it dude look at the hand tattoos look like he's trying to be cardi b yeah what did i say we don't know oh who knows maybe it's probably not even english we got nothing yeah so this guy definitely go to school i just hope he's an organ donor dude because i don't know if he's contributing much but at the same time beautiful young you know middle-aged kind of or older guy he's experimenting he's doing things he wants to do that's unique he's living this truth now i think you should put a little more effort into it but he's living his truth whatever that is and good luck on this season of real uh love and hip-hop yeah dude yeah all right next up sent in by steven this is his aunt

suzanne now is this like a hallow Halloween pic or or is she trying to look like fucking Ozzy Osbourne all we know is she's from Toledo oh well that's the rust belt too and she looks like she could use a couple tetanus shots man because she if you don't get acclimated to the rust man you it'll fuck you up it'll get your brain yeah she might have MRSA going on

MRSA jeez a dark lady Alice Cooper all day yeah at your brain. Yeah, she might have MRSA going on. MRSA? She is a dark lady. Alice Cooper all day. Yeah, very Alice Cooper. Very Charles Manson. Very Charles Manson. Very fucking, just goth as it gets.

She looks like she runs the book club for the goth kids. Kind of, but she has, I love her hair. She has very much like a Geena Davis sort of vibe,

I feel like. I've never seen Geena Davis in that light ever. Really? Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Yeah, Geena Davis. More of a Marilyn Manson vibe, I'd say. Okay. I would say that a little bit.

She has a little bit of Geena Davis, though. Geena Davis isn't that strong. You talking about from Beetlejuice? No, this is Geena Davis, bro. Yeah, she was in Beetlejuice, bro. She was? Yeah. Wow.

Damn, what's these? There's a buff Geena Beetlejuice, bro. She was? Yeah. Wow. Damn, what's these? There's a buff Gina Davis out there that's logging up these Google results. Damn, she's all over. At the buffet, bro. God damn, she did all the roids. Yeah, wow. So yeah, definitely beautiful aunt.

She seemed like a wild western. She seemed like she could be... Seems like she might put a spell on you. Oh, she's a fucking Toledo 9 fucking a toledo toledo nine right there boy could be a magician and i don't know yeah but if it's your aunt i dig her yeah don't put a spell on i don't know if she's a she could be a tradition too because i don't know if she's doing magic but she's fucking doing tragic boy this looks like she's doing satan's work that's what she looks oh yeah she looks like she could fucking juggle somebody's, you know, couple of spleens in a dark alley. Juggle a couple lives.

What else you got? Last one for Flop My Aunt. This was sent in from Montana from Ben, and this may be soon to be his aunt. It's his uncle's girlfriend, Tammy. Oh, is that Roseanne? Oh, damn. Damn, she's posted up.

She's driving that hog. She's trying to do a hog getter. Yeah, this is planking in Montana. Yeah, she's obviously one of hell's angels, and she does that. Looks more like a mongrel to me. Really? Yeah. I like that.

Is that zip up in the front? Got the bandana on, the leather gloves, the chaps. She's got a nice smile, pretty eyes smile pretty eyes got a little bit of blonde hair like to see the hog though and i'm talking about her bike sure you are dude i'd like to see that long fucking that long clam she's probably spotting you know and i say it is bro she seemed like the kind of girl uh she seemed like the kind of girl that'll thumb wrestle a fucking uh she seemed like the kind of girl that'll thumb wrestle a fucking uh uh uh 18 wheeler you know yeah she could be a truck driver she looked kind of lady could drink some real hot water fast you know or oil fearless yeah or motor she probably has an outboard you know four-stroke

heart you know she looks like the one who's shotgunning beer at every party oh dude she could grill probably uh i bet if you put two She looks like your favorite restaurant is the Sizzler. Yeah, she looked like she could grill something under one of her arms. Yeah. Shout out to that aunt. Yeah. Shout out beautiful lady. Tammy's her name? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I get Roseanne

vibes, like if Roseanne was in a biker gang. Mm-hmm. Like if Roseanne was in Sons of Anarchy. I like it. Beautiful. That does it for Flop my Aunt they got some aunts out there damn these aunts be killing it bro wish my mom had more sisters man I know man well my dad has 14 brothers and sisters

so yeah we'll see we'll figure it out bro that's it that's it brother well we did it huh we did it man another one congratulations man congrats to you bro good to see you this week you too man where you off to next i feel like we're always we only see each other here now i know just on tuesdays we see each other so busy i don't even know right now we got a day i don't even know what country i'm in yeah i don't know man i'm going i'm going to kansas city and uh and that's

this week yeah um you were just in phoenix right yeah that's all that's coming up right now i'm at phoenix end of the month oh wow end of the month. Oh, wow. End of the month, brother. Yeah, man. Well, I'm sure a lot of people will come out and give you some honey. Yeah, one of mine, Buzz Buzz. Come out. Gang, gang, man. We'll see you guys next time.

Stand up live, Phoenix. All right. Love you guys. Peace. You too, man. Take care, huh? Don't touch me. It's the king in the stand Talking about anything The king in the stand

Talking about anything Said if you know what's trending Send it in to Theo and Brandon They'll just remember every name So don't you dare get offended It's king in the stand You better get that camera and bring it You twist it up and we'll bring it

Out of the box without thinking Yeah The king in the sting It's better get that camera and bring it You twist it up and we'll bring it out of the box Without thinking It's the king in the sting The king in the sting It's the king in the sting