The Golden Hour - Episode 151: Rhino 7000

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

The guys discuss SteeBee bombing at his last stand-up set, share their craziest bombing stories and talk Theo's gas station dong pill horror story and his Lindsay Lohan hotel story, Erik's IBM commercial for ESPN Fantasy Football, dong bulges, airplane boners, the mile high club and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Anybody ever slip a note under Lindsay Lohan's door in here? Anybody? Oh, I did one night actually at a hotel. You slipped a note under her door? Yeah, we were both staying in the same hotel across the hall from each other. She was fine to me, girls. I left a note under there. And did you put, I got a Rhino 7000 and I'm up all night?

I don't know what I put, man. I wrote probably something special on it. Gang, gang. Come on, Bo. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. Sometimes the porn I watch I feel like they're using Artificial semen Really? Yeah

I don't know where you make that at Probably Where do you think it's from? Soaps Stevie It's for sure Asian company Right? right japanese maybe yeah let's be honest you guys started already yeah well you look like you just woke up huh well we got some bad news what happened stevie you relapsed no he bombed last night at this show. I bombed real bad. Nothing was working. At the lab.

Nothing was working. They hated me. They did? Oh, yeah. Ask him. They hated me. Hold on. I want to hear you say it a little bit more.

Tell me about it. They hated me. My mind went blank. It was a bad dream, for real. Oh, man. Twilight Zone. They were just silent. What happened?

Exactly what happened. Nothing. I couldn't even think of the bit my dick jokes that I had were you standing too close to the stool sometimes I notice I'm standing too close to the stool I don't do as well no I held the mic I I did everything I could we were were there. What happened? Steve had a tough one. It was a tough one. What? It must have been tough because Eric came in and said,

Steve, you had a tough night. Yeah, it was tough. And it's one of those sets where like, you know, like when you're comic friends, when you see them bomb like that, you're in the back giggling. Yeah. You know what I mean? Were you guys giggling or no?

What? I mean, we were. It was tough. And and he was like and then he just like bailed you know he was like well i think i'm fucking yeah he pulled the jack i try to come up with stuff on the fly like i was talking about a korean spa i was like you know i feel like i'm in the hot korean spa with the angry korean like i don, I was just trying to do anything. He was listening too much to the silence. Yes. You know, he was listening too much to the silence. And then he translated that as like, oh, they hate me.

They hate me. As opposed to like, he not realizing that. He's working. He went up first. That's a tough room. You went up first? That's a tough room. Well, hold on.

Go ahead. I want to hear from from the man right here. This is a question. I got a question right here for Black White. I'm trying to learn. I got a question right here for Captain Black White over here, dog. How are you going to, if it's Eric Griffins and friends, how are you going to put your friend up first?

Can't he go third? I'm hosting the show. I'm hosting the show. If your friend has to go up first. Can't he go third? I'm hosting the show. I'm hosting the show. If your friend asked to smoke crack, what would you say to him? That's right, man. You set me up for a booby trap, man. He's done comedy ten times.

Booby traps, yeah, he set you up. But it is what it is. Is that what he did? I'm asking Theo. Is that what he did to me. What happened the last time he did the show? I'm asking Theo. Is that what he did for me? I'm saying from my perspective. Steve, the last show you did, how was it? Same show, same spot.

How'd you do? You did better than last night. So who's that on? And did you go first, though? Thank you. Yes. Same time? Yeah.

Both times? Yeah. Yeah. Was it all new material, Stevie? Hell no. Yes, it is. No, it was the stuff that I was doing at the Ha Ha when I had a great time on your show. Yeah.

He's been doing comedy for eight minutes. Yes, it's all new material. Everything is new. I don't have much. I mean, the guy's been locked in his apartment at a senior center for fucking 11 years because his brother doesn't care about him that much. You don't think that it's all new material? He'll drop a fat.

He got shot fired. He kind of got deep there. I'm just saying, man. And look, there you go right there. There's your real friends. Why ain't Steve being the picture? He wasn't there in San Diego. That was at La Jolla?

I was at La Jolla, and Andrew was doing a theater. Then Bobby came down, and so we just all went to dinner. Oh, nobody jumped on each other's shows? I think Bobby did Andrew's show. Oh, did Andrew's? But our shows were at the same time, and then, you know what I mean? So it was just— You know what?

You know the vital mistake I made the first 30 seconds? I wasn't paying—this is like, Steve, you're not listening. Like, Steve, you're not paying attention. The dude you were kind of fucking with, that dude with the mean mug. Yeah. The Philip, like, I don't know why I picked him to try to do crowd work. Yeah. Because he echoed me right away.

He was like, yeah, good luck with that. And I was just like, oh, no, this is not going good. Yeah. You got shook, man. He got shook. I got shook. He was shook, you know. And then he was just like, and then he was trying to be like, you know, and then it just, you know. It was all downhill. Yeah, it was just like, man. He got shook. I got shook. He was shook, you know? And then he was just like, and then he was trying to be like,

you know, and then it just, you know. It was all downhill. It was just like, ugh. And was your jokes written down or you knew them in your head? I had it written in my pocket and I had it in my mind. Did you get it out of your pocket?

No. Oh, that's good. It didn't matter because when that started happening, it just, my mind went blank. Did you call for Eric? Did you call for help? that's good how long did i was up there how long was i up there um i don't know 20 20 30 seconds i was teasing he was up

there for like two three minutes he looked at two three minutes now stevie not now is where you find out if it's for you or not if he can go go back up. Well, he called me. He called me, and he was just like, I'm in a dark place, brother! I'm in a dark place, brother! Where were you, Memphis? I don't know. I did a Randy Macho Man Savage. I don't know what I was doing. I called him. I called Bob. I should have called you guys.

For some pointers. I would have been supportive. But now you find out if it's for you, if you can go back up and do a fucking hot set. I think I need a day or two. Steve, I'm trying to tell you, I remember... Yeah, get back up this week, Stevie. Don't dwell on it. for you, if you can go back up and do a fucking hot set. I think I need a day or two. Steve, I'm trying to tell you. Yeah, get back up this week, Stevie. Don't dwell on it. Get back up this week and get back on the horse. I remember first starting to do comedy.

I'm serious. And a buddy of mine was doing a show at the improv, and he asked me to host. And I had just gotten ACL surgery. So I had crutches. But I was like, I want to host. Crutches? What do you mean? Because I had an ACL surgery. Oh, damn. So I'm using my crutches. And I said, but I was like, I want to hold. Crutches? What do you mean? Because I had an ACL surgery.

Oh, damn. So I'm like using my crutches, you know. I'll never forget it. Like big chopsticks? Yeah, man. You heard him? That's fucked up. He said it! You on one today. I can tell. You on one today.

Thankfully I wore this hat. How do you know? Respecting a great country right here. Hawaii. Hawaii. The way he attacked your family like that? The island boy energy over there. I'm used to it. So I went up, and then I got no laughs.

A lot of his family's deceased, dude. Yeah, a lot. You went up and hosted and got no laughs? Yeah, it was just. Eight shit. Let's see it right here. Nick has a video of it. Every person I brought up was good.

Oh, yeah. I remember the people I brought up. I brought up Elon Gold. I brought up Earthquake. I brought up like. Monsters. It was like. up was good. I remember the people I brought up. I brought up Elon Gold. I brought up Earthquake. It was monster. And everybody was just tearing me up because I was just doing terrible. They ripped you? Yeah, so I could have easily quit.

Oh, I'm not quitting. What did they call you? They call you name? They call you s'more? No. What did they call you, bro? None of that stuff. Don't laugh.

It's not funny it's a racial slur you idiot you brought it up it's gonna i can tell we're gonna have a show today we're gonna get david duke is here everybody and i brought you this hat back from your country dude hawaii no this is your hat oh yeah oh yeah thank you yeah so we got but the thing is before we move on it's a part of the territory right i mean this is your hat oh yeah thank you but the thing is before we move on it's a part of the territory right I mean

this is just like you're gonna get hit it's a part of it six years ago I ate all the shit at the improv I'm talking and you're talking about

10-12 minute set I ate all the shit you were eating shit oh dude I was in my car I didn't want to go back out I didn't want to go cause I was on the late show

at the improv I'm in my car I'm like I just wanted to go home I get a knock on the window it's I was on the late show at the improv Yeah, I'm in my car. I'm like, I just wanted to go home. I get a knock on the window It's Dalia. He's what the fuck you doing like dude. I was on the first show man. It went awful He's like you better get the fuck back in there Is that the one you were whining about that I was talking shit about you probably probably I bombed.

No, I think you did better than you're saying. I bombed. No, I don't think you bombed. I bombed. Did he bomb? Everyone's going to bomb, man. Yeah, everybody bombs. What makes it a bomb? Because it was silent.

When I was on, it was crickets. It was crickets. Well, whatever your expectations are, and you don't live up to them, then that's what it is. No, it was crickets. Now, that's a great question. What was your expectation? Yeah. I mean, I wasn't expecting the world, but maybe a few chuckles and just a little, some smiles.

I'm just asking for a couple of smiles. I got, it was, they hated me. Smiling with their eyes at least. The two girls in the front, they were just like. Some loud ass smiles. They looked like movie critics. I felt like I was in a room with movie critics. They're like, no.

Again, no. Now, now, now, Eric, were they good for the rest for the rest of the time oh yeah it was a great show it was a great show everybody was at a good time it's just that one you know my fingernails down his shirt all right well you know what i like that you shared that i didn't know that you had that yeah man everyone everyone shared that with me brendan i've never heard that all right okay let me take this i remember this was even, I wasn't, Mixed Nuts is where the comedy union is. Oh. All right?

It was called Mixed Nuts at the time. A little racist. Super black room. Seems racist to me. It was a black room called Mixed Nuts? I'm at the show. Yeah, yeah. So then there's J. Anthony Brown, old school black comic.

He's hosting. He's on stage and he's killing. I mean killing. Yeah. The crowd is comic. He's hosting. He's on stage and he's killing. I mean killing. The crowd is like, ah! People wearing suits. People beating each other with their canes. It was crazy. So then all the comics standing in the back, he didn't know who was next. So we're all standing there.

And he goes, who next? And I'm standing in the front. Literally all the comics took a step back. Nobody wanted to go up. And I was like, I'll go up. And he was like, he brings me up. You couldn't move. Why? Because you still had the bad knee?

No, no, that's a different time. So then like two minutes, two minutes into my set, he's giving me the light, you know? And I'm like, damn. I go like this, damn, I got the light already. I get off. He goes up, and he does about 15 to 20 minutes about how bad I was.

I even remember one of the jokes. He was like, shit, you got the light. People setting that woman on fire to get you off stage. And he just was like going in on me, man. And I'm standing in the back. No comics want to come near me because you don't want that energy on you. You know what I'm saying? Not if you haven't gotten on yet.

Yeah, you don't want that bomb energy on you. And I just was looking. And I just was like, why am I doing this? Why are you laughing, man? Just saying. Why are you laughing? It is. You don't want that bomb energy.

No, you don't want that negative energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's the same in the UFC. If a fighter, because you cheer locker rooms, there's a blue corner, red corner. In that blue corner, the guy would fight before you go out. And you're like, God, I hope he fucking wins. Because if not, he comes back there, eyes all fucked up,

bleeding everywhere. If the guy was lost, who was in my God, I hope he fucking wins. Because if not, he comes back there, eyes all fucked up, bleeding everywhere. If the guy lost who was in my corner, I'd go to the bathroom. So he'd go in there, get his shit, get out. Because I didn't want to. You don't want to see that. But it must be like in football if you just fumbled and then the other team ran back for a touchdown and you got to walk to the sideline. That's the worst.

Everybody's looking at you like. Yeah, damn, man. Can you hold the ball, bitch? That's your job. Imagine being a kicker. Imagine being Scott Norwood. Missing the kick. You missed a Super Bowl winning kick.

Yeah. And you got to walk to the sideline. Who wants to be near that guy? That was Steve last night. He was the kicker. Stevie built like the kicker. I want to hear Theo's last bad experience. Oh, man.

You've been doing it so long. Bombs, dude. That's some bombs. Think about it. The one in San Francisco that was outside. Oh, yeah. That was a nightmare. Tiffany Haddish.

There was an outdoor show. It was like a Harvey Milk conference. It was like people out there drinking milk right in Harvey on the cart. Maybe it was the, I hate gays shirt. Could it have been that? That was a tattoo. Oh,

you went strong with it. But no dude. And it was probably 5,000 people outside. It was like lining, like from one, it was like, they set up a stage and it was kind of cool. You could see the Capitol building in the distance.

It was fricking dope, man. And you got on stage and it was an outdoor so you could the second somebody laughed it just went up into the air just dissipated yeah but i don't know if they laughed about one dude i heard sneeze about a hundred yards away that's how bad it was going oh you heard that yeah i even said bless you to him you heard him go thank you mark dorman in the pandemic he was doing shows outside at like fucking the park in new york he said i was bombing so bad i heard actual crickets he's outside because i heard actual crickets gang boy That's some bombing. Yeah, when you bomb, too, and you come back and like, oh, you know people don't want to say nothing.

It's just hard. You don't want to see nobody. Yeah. And there's nothing anybody can say. There's nothing anybody can say. And that's why we laugh at you. Yeah. If there's a comment, we're like, when you bomb, we're like, what do you want me to say? Oh, you get them next time?

It's like striking out. It's like striking out. Yeah. When you bomb, you're like, what you want me to say? Oh, you get them next time? It's like, can you suck tonight? It's like, strike it out. Yeah. You bombed. It is kind of funny to just tell somebody straight up that they bombed. Yeah. Damn, dog, you bombed.

Yeah. Or get up and be like, damn, that dude bombed. Yeah, you got to address it. Yeah. I think it adds to it. It's funny. Especially when, like, if the person, it sucks when the person don't realize they bombed. Like, those are the people I can't stand. Oh, when they come back to you, I cry.

Yeah, I was like. Those people make it in this business a lot of times, too. Yeah. They do that? Yeah. They justify it? It's all a shame, bro. They're just so out of touch.

Oh, I know I ate shit. I knew I ate shit. Did you? I wanted to hide under a rock. Everybody knows that. That's it. Yeah, I wanted to hide. Theo, your boy is fighting this Saturday, man.

We're talking about the diamond, Dustin Poirier, trying to get that lightweight belt, son. That strap chase, baby. He beat Conor. He beat Conor. He said, you know what? I'm going to go for the money play. I'm going to take Conor, and then I'm going to fight for the strap.

He's fighting Charles DeBronx Oliveira this Saturday, son. This is it, man. You know, I can't believe it. I'm going to be for the strap he's fighting charles da bronx olivera this saturday son this is it man you know i can't believe it i'm gonna be over there i can't wait to see what happens i'm gonna be sitting there i'm gonna be standing up give me front rowing a thong i'm gonna be as close as i can get baby filled with the light of the lord dog cheering on the diamond baby put your money where your mouth is man because ufc 269 is here either watch theo on tv or watch it with your boy here we're doing a fight campaign this saturday you can watch theo and myself whatever you want to do but bet on it make money with draft kings the official sports betting partner of the ufc and they have quite the offer for you guys uh all new users download the top rated draft

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What's this, Nick? We got another dope original music submission, and it addressed some of the criticism that Eric had from other musical performers so far. Yeah. Really? You have some talented artists that submit stuff. And the video is like...

Do all the rappers have to be white though? I'm just wondering. Oh, you didn't get the demo? Yeah, our demo's 90% white, bro. I see you, Brendan. I see you, Brendan. I see you. Let's see what I can do. Hey, what up, crew?

Y'all said you were looking for a black rapper. That's some Jamaican shit. You see the color? Pop, pop, pop. Hey, what up, Stevie? Hey. It's the King and the Sting King. Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the King and the Sting King. Yeah,, yeah I'm fucking with the king and the sting king, yeah, yeah

I'm fucking with the king and the sting king, yeah, yeah I'm fucking with the king and the sting, oh yeah It's time to set it off, Lil Raza made a map I'm just trying to spread some positivity and that's a fact King and the sting been doing their thing and I've been on the front of jump Every person that I meet, gotta tell him look it up It's the stuff. It's the shit that you've been lacking in your mental. I'm addicted to it, baby And I'm lucky it's not fat no won't be getting

Yeah, that fat no So I hope it won't be stalling y'all done canceled my depression. It's like that was Morgan Waller Let's take a boat and sketch it out podcast of the year what I'm betting on Plenty folk better cheer y'all really dope Plenty folk full of fear y'all bringin' hope Shout out to the crew y'all really great Theo Vaughn year, what I'm betting on Plenty of folk better cheer, y'all really dope Plenty of folk full of fear, y'all breaking hope Shout out to the crew, y'all really great Theo Vaughn got ass, but I'm really straight Thick boy in this bitch and I'm going ham Thick boy with a stick and I'm going blind

All on the king in the Sting King Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king in the Sting King Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king in the Sting King Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king in the Sting King Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm on the king in the Sting King Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king Ooh, catchy hook Oh, yeah, yeah I'm on the king in the stinking Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king In the stinking Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king

In the stinking Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking with the king In the stinking Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Damn, bang, bro That's what's up, boy I like that guy Psycho Billy raps right there I still hate my cartoon, but whatever Dang, bro. That's what's up. We're doing something right.

Psycho Billy raps right there. I still hate my cartoon, but whatever. You hate yours? I don't look like that. Look at me. I was cute as a kid, man. Why is my top lip eight inches? You do got that real grill, baby.

That's ridiculous, man. That's Kyle Hoover from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Good job. Good job, Kyle. That was great, man. Thanks, Kyle. Damn. grill baby that's Kyle Hoover from Lancaster Pennsylvania that's great damn music's coming together yeah that's a fun vibe though do you like it yeah I heard Eric put down some vocals it seemed like you didn't like it. Stevie looks like my dad, actually, but fucking younger and smaller in age. Like way younger. I swear to God, I'm going to get a picture of my dad and send it to you, and next you can put it in there. Yeah, I'd like to meet him.

Oh, this is Eric putting down some vocals? Yeah. For Thick Boy? Sam, just basically give it a run through a couple times. I feel like you have- You mean Dr. Dre's house? These are just random ones we got from Browse The better one is when you already hear Steve

Listening to the finished product That's when we were like Damn, that's dope Where was that at? You know we give you shit, boy. Still gotta give it up. Let me tell you about the thick boy. Damn, that's dope. Where was that at? That's like some dude's house that made songs for Jay-Z. Nice area?

It wasn't even necessarily a nice area, but it's one of these hidden gems. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, I've never seen it. And I went in, and I was like, god damn. What do you mean a hidden gem? Like a fitness place or something? Not a hidden gem. Hidden gem shakes? Hidden gems. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, I've never seen it. And I went in, and I was like, god damn. What do you mean a hidden gem? Like a fitness place or something? Not a hidden gem. Hidden gem. Hidden gem.

Hidden gem? Yeah. You're a hidden gem. Like a treasure hunt? Yeah. You put down some vocals, then Stevie put some music too, huh? Yeah, yeah. I went to Rouse.

Stevie fucked up on my song. That song's about you. Shake out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dope. Stevie still shook, though. Yeah, I'm all shook up. Yeah. Is there a plan with that music that you. Shake out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dope. Stevie's still shook, though. Is there a plan with that music

that you guys are... I don't know. Yeah, there's a whole plan. Yeah, obviously, right? Big boy album. Now, what about this, though, Stevie? Do you see yourself

making a comeback or do you think that that's it? He's getting up this fucking week, Stevie. No, I got other things I have to show up to. Yeah, we're doing

Sizzleboro Live podcast. Yeah, that's whatever. That's a home game. Nope, that's a home game. Home games don't count. You got to go. You want to get on Friday. I'll get you a spot Friday or Saturday somewhere in LA.

You want this hat? You want to say something to your people? You got to get back up. I'll get you back up. You want me to get you a spot? Yeah, I mean, I'm going to get back up. This week. I'm not going to quit.

But you're not going to just do Cisabro. Dude, I ain't going to quit. I'm not letting them win. Fuck that. Get back on the eel. You're fighting yourself. I'm my own enemy. You're fighting yourself. That's all that's happening.

What would your grandfather say, dude? Get back on the eel. He would just turn away from me. Would he? Yeah, last night. Stevie, I'm going to text you tonight. If you don't have a spot in LA by tonight, I'm going to get you one. It was as if your dad was in the crowd last night.

You know what I mean? What did you just say? Don't put my pops into the mix like that. I'm just saying, you know how. Put on his fighting hat. Stevie still shook from that bomb. I am, I am, I am. I had to talk him off the ledge last night.

I was going to smoke a joint. No. Yeah, I had it out and everything. I feel like that's a good idea. Wait, why do you even have it, though? I feel like it's a good idea. It was an old sponsorship. It was like CBD with a little bit of THC.

I had it out. Still got a weird road, bubba. You going down a... I had it out, bro. You walking down a weird... On the phone, it sounded like he had the heroin, like, you know... Yeah. Dude, I couldn't even jerk off.

He was doing like this. I didn't deserve it. He's like, ick. know. I couldn't even jerk off. He was doing like this. I couldn't even jerk off. I was like trying to watch it. I was just like, dude, I don't even deserve it. Did you try though? I was trying, dude. There's nothing sadder than you masturbating yourself. Steve was like, come on, you can do this.

After you bomb. He was like, come on. If you bomb and then reward yourself by masturbating. Yeah, you don't deserve it. I didn't even deserve to beat off. I didn't deserve it. Get that big dick out after you do well this week. It's all heartbreaking.

You're getting up this week. But do you see him getting back up there? Yes. Okay. Yeah, I ain't quitting, dude. You know what he needs to do? I ain't quitting. He needs to record himself.

I ain't quitting. There you go. Yeah, hell yeah. He's not recording himself. He ain't quitting dude. He needs to record himself. I ain't quitting. There you go. Yeah, he's not recording himself. He's not recording himself. You need to record yourself so you can be like- I don't like watching myself podcast. I don't like listening to my voice.

That's how you get better. I don't like listening to anything. You gotta get better. Once I'm done, I'm done. But you gotta record your set. That's how you get better. I gotta be honest, I don't listen to me on here. I do it and I leave.

This is different. Bro, how is that different? It's different. This isn't your standup though. You gotta get back on the Maki Maki. Cause you're not doing the same thing over and over on this. How is that different? It's different. This isn't your stand-up, Doug. You gotta get back on the mocky-mocky. Because you're not doing the same thing over and over on this. What does that mean? The tuna, you delinquent. You gotta bring a

professional approach, Doug, so you should record it, listen to it, see what hits. Yeah. You might be like, ooh, I didn't say that joke right. You guys have done that? All the time. I still do. Theo, you've done that? I'll listen to my set from the night before and before I do the next set that night. You listen to yourself?

On the way over, I'll listen to it. I'll listen to my set as I'm going to do a spot. Yeah. You listen to like the- Yeah. Because you actually get more things. You go, oh, I should say this. Yeah, you miss things.

You have an idea that'll make you laugh. You're like, oh, this is funny. There's certain tags you might say on stage. You forget you said it. But he's just starting out, too. He might not even have any of that capability. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, because –

Just get back up. I guarantee you'll go better. What you're talking about now, you're going to be laughing at yourself in like a year. And he could be horrible at it. Yeah, I could. There's that. That's a possibility. You know what I mean?

I mean, I'm not saying – I hope not, but I'm just saying you never know. You might find something else. You might do coaching softball. You might do something else. That's super new you deliver an ice cream This guy's got a debate for us Is he ever got ice cream choice is Ryan from Texas gang baby Stevie? What's up big riff? What's up Theo? What's up Brandon? What's up Nick soft chin in a neck brace? What's up with that? Yeah, Nick. Where's the baby chin? Where's that neck with that? Yeah, Nick wears a chin, wears a neck brace.

Staples Center just changed its name to the Crypto.com Arena. You like it? You hate it? Or what would you name it? I hate when they change it. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. I hate when they change it.

Like growing up as a kid, it was always Mile High Stadium in Denver. Now it's like Invesco. Now it's not even Invesco anymore. How much is it to change, Nick? How much does it cost to change that? It's like $700 million. Crypto.com paid for that. It's the naming rights.

That's about my pay grade. Dude, if Crypto called this show and was like, we want to change it to King and the Crypto Sting, and they gave you guys whatever money. Oh, that would be King and the Crypto. What about Blood and the Cryptos would be good. I mean, if some fucking gangbanger and some nerds is trading coins. would be good. I'm in. Wouldn't it be? Some fucking gangbangers

and some nerds just trading coins? Yeah. A couple of doge bros. I hate when they change the fucking names, though. Do y'all think crypto is going to stick around

and be a real deal or not? Seems like it, though, right? They're everywhere. The main sponsor of the UFC now, this, they got fucking Matt Damon

doing their ads. Oh, no, that's the app, Coinbase. They had Matt Damon doing their ads oh no that's the app coinbase they had matt damon doing their ads yeah man damn that makes me want to fucking buy crypto there's a lot there's a lot of money in that stuff like and like these people are like the upper upper one percent they got a lot of money in that y'all invested right in crypto i have some crypto but i'm not like i don't i'm not i guess money. I still got some Dogecoin. Yeah, you know what's up. I thought I was going to get a Dogecoin house because I thought it was going to be like, oh my God, you know, and now it's just like, whatever, just a few thousand.

And he said, do we like it when they change it? Should they change the name too? Yeah. Or what would you change it if you could change it to anything? We already got Theos. I like that. Crypts and Bloods Arena. Crypto and Bloods.

Blood and Cryptos, yeah. Blood and Cryptos. That's pretty gangster. Would you name it Stevie? I don't even have an answer for that. I don't even know what he said. He's still shook. He's still thinking about that first joke.

Did you get high? You seem like you got high. Did you do some drugs, Stevie? Doesn't he? Well, you wouldn't know. That's a good point. You tell us. No, I did.

No, I would say. No, I did it. I threw it away. My neighbor talked me off the cliff. And's a good point. You tell us. No, I did. No, I would say, no, I did it. I threw it away. My neighbor talked me off the cliff, and I threw it away. And he smoked it for me to test it out. Who smoked it? My neighbor. I go, hey, dude, test this out, because I didn't know how much THC was in it.

So he's like, dude, this is garbage. If you want a joint, I'll give you one. I'm like, no, I just don't want it. Theo, is that how you, when you're buying drugs, you just smell, oh, you got a gram on you? That's just laced with fentanyl. There's some fentanyl in that, man. I'm going to pass for that. You're like one of those airport drug dogs.

I remember being so high at school, and the drug dog came that day, and I was high as hell, dude. But I didn't have any weed on me. I was just high. And I was like, I remember asking the cop, can they just smell if you're real high? Doug, you remember when they had the COVID dogs? Remember the dogs that could smell COVID? No. You don't remember that?

Because remember, I toured all during the pandemic. They had dogs that could smell COVID. Oof. That's embarrassing. Some people are like, what the fuck? Like, sorry, get out of here. What? Like, what the fuck?

They're throwing people out COVID sniffing dogs. Yeah. We got to get them bitches back on the grind, son. What the fuck? They're throwing people out, COVID-sniffing dogs. Yeah, some people are complaining. We got to get them bitches back on the grind, son. How do they smell it? Look, there's one right there. Look at him in the gym. What? Look at the dog.

Yeah, you practicing right now? He in there fucking getting some reps in. He's doing that sled push. That's insane, bro. Are you kidding me? I'm telling you, some people didn't make their flights because this fucking bullshit Labrador retriever said you smelled like COVID. Jeez.

That's when you want to have drugs on you. Dude, we got to get somebody on a flight that has not made their flight because they got hit by COVID. I saw multiple people get turned down. I promise. I'm like, God damn, this is getting wild. Well, a lot of people don't even know they even have it. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not like it hits everybody the same anyway. So you could be asymptomatic walking around with COVID and not know until a dog is like. I think you're good now. Well, you people only get tested because you have to. When I was doing a pilot, I was getting tested three times a week. Oh, my brother said he saw your commercial on Monday Night Football for IBM or something. Oh, damn.

You making this money, huh? Bill Gates over here. Damn. Rich as fuck now. You shut up, man. You shut up. Yeah, you. I don't even want to hear you.

Him living. He got crystals in his house. He's got his kid on his Instagram with like a fur coat on. Like a fucking dope chain. You're doing good, man. He's doing good. He's got a little thick on it. And he's trying to act like, no, I'm just a regular dude.

I'm not an IBM commercial, dog. IBM ain't calling me. What are you talking about? Computers. That's a big deal, too. You got all these computers. That's a national campaign, dog. Can I be an actor?

Is that okay? You get residual checks and shit. You know how much you get? You get good money? Yeah, it was good money. How much? I'm not going to talk about your finances on here. It was a good chunk. Can I guess?

There was a comma in the number. I'll say this. Probably more than you got paid for bombing the other night. Over $100,000? That's two commas. Stevie with that playing that little Iwo Jima. Here he is right here. Griff, look at him right there, dude. Oh my God. Getting tested for diabetes, dude.

Right there. You're making bank. Right there. That's Jesus. You're making bank. That's on Monday Night Football, dog. Damn, Eric. I knew something was different about Eric. You're different, dog. Yeah, look at you, Peyton Manning. The big leagues.

Was your girl like, ooh, her can lose, her can lose. Yeah. She loves spending my money. Damn. Good for you, man. I make proposals every morning. Yeah. You still doing that? Sometimes.

Lately, I... If she takes it off, you know? Yeah. If she takes it off, she wants it good. Quit saying that shit, man. She likes to cry. She gets very emotional,

so she really wants to feel that, you know? So I do something different every time, you know what I mean? I'll be like... No, I don't know what you mean, man. You gotta quit spreading that shit around.

You need to try some of it. Then other girls are like... Why don't you be romantic with your girls? That's the problem, man. Yeah, be romantic. You should have popped out two huge ass babies. Pussies ruined because of you.

These UFC babies coming out like. They needed a referee and a doctor. Yeah, dude. One of the doctors was no-nonsense Keith Peterson. Smoking a cigarette? You know, and Herb Dean pops in like that. They had announcers at the bar. They said, the baby can't breathe.

Herb said, let it go, let it go, let it go. Dana White didn't pay you enough. Dana White didn't pay you enough we got some cats confessions oh yeah oh I love these some good ones this week hopefully by the end of this episode

we shake Stevie out look I've never seen Stevie like this shake it off dog you're a quarterback no I'm good you threw an interception I'm good I'm good

I'm just you know you're getting up this week just give me a day you thinking about some material right now? No, no, no, no. Bro, it's Tuesday. What do you mean? That was on Sunday you ate shit.

Yeah, rub on this bottle, bro. It was last night. It was last night. Oh, that's fair. It's fresh. Oh, it's fresh. It's fresh. Oh, this is bad luck.

And he said he didn't sleep. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, bad. Yeah, let's do some confessions. Here we go. Yeah. What's up, King of the Steam Crew?

I've been dating my girlfriend for the last two years. Is this me? The first time we hooked up, I used a boner pill. Oh, this is me. And she said that I performed really well, and that's the reason why she started dating me. And then the second or third time I didn't use one, she started questioning me. I was asking, you know, what happened. And so for the last two years, every other day I take a Viagra just to keep it ready. That blood pressure.

Gang, gang, blood, blood. There ain't nothing wrong with that. But how are you going to dick your girl down with some turbo dick energy and then just go, wait, I'm with her. Like, where's that fucking energy? Where's that big dick energy? Because he made her feel insecure. Yeah, Bluetooth.com,

Bronco Shop. They always think it's about them. They're always like, am I ugly? Is it because of me? It's just like, I mean, there's a lot of things going on.

So he's dependent on the pill to get hard then? Well, it sounds like he really laid some good dick down. She's like, where's that same energy? It sounds like he needs

to start taking some vitamins and work out or something. Sounds like he, you know what I mean? Right? I mean, I remember taking one of them ones from the gas station, dude, in Miami one time. Oh, no. Rhino 7000.

Hell, yeah. That's that Jon Jones shit, dog. Oh, dude, this stuff, bro. It worked? No, it made my freaking nose bleed, dude. So, no joke, bro, I'm making love to this woman this nice lady and then like the blood couldn't didn't know where to go it was like oh that's like a ufc fight i met it like this nice seafood restaurant dude i don't remember her name she's a little bit older

there you go rhino sevens this was the early dude this was the early recipe it was rocky bro wow dude my foot swolled up i couldn't get one of my fucking shoes on. I couldn't lace it fully. So it was making things hard that wasn't supposed to be hard. Look at the seven. It was a unique. Your upper lip got hard. But not your dick.

Which I barely have. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. It showed up for a second. That up, that up. Oh, there's a rhino eight. Oh, damn line eight now.

Oh, no, they're way further. They've definitely come up. They're like on batch 14 now. But's a Rhino 8. Oh, damn, they're on 8 now. Oh, no, they're way further. They've definitely come up. They're like on batch 14 now. But the 7s, bro. What's in that stuff? Oh, Rhino 69. The 7s were putting people to sleep. But I remember making love

and my nose just starts bleeding. Were you on top? Huh? Did you bleed on top? I was wherever I could get in, bud. I remember that. I was wherever. Platinum 10,000?

God dog. I think I was in side control. I'm not that good at sex. Oh, don't you go lying now. Actually, can we get some confirmation, ladies? Send in some reporting. The ladies love you, man. Theo was in half guard trying to pull him out.

Shit, what is happening right now? That'd be great to get some confessions. Why do you keep calling me Big Gene? That would be, huh? Yeah, it'd be great if women sent in confessions. Yeah, I slept with Theo in Tennessee. That'd be totally fine. Send in some audio confessions. Why do you keep calling me Big Gene? That would be, huh? Yeah, it'd be great if women sent in confessions. Yeah, I slept with Theo in Tennessee. That'd be totally fine. Send in some audio confessions. That'd be great.

That'd be totally fine. Yeah. But you gotta send them in about everybody. I don't want to be the only one. Well, no. Oh, now y'all don't want to fall. See how quiet they got.

See how quiet they got. It's time stamp here. We'll take that out. Time stamp that. Real quiet. That's a terrible idea, Eric. Oh, you taking your boner pill and going home, huh? And we all show up to the court, huh?

I see what's going on. Everything has to be pre-2014. Oh, there you go. You got to be a real risk taker to go to the gas station, pop on those Rhino 7000s. I don't even want to do that type of shit. Why did you do that, though, that you knew, like, I ain't going to be able to get? Because I had the anxiety. I got too much anxiety, bro. He was probably doing cocaine at the time. Could have been maybe doing a bump or something. I ain't going to be able to get. He's trying to party. Anxiety. I got too much anxiety, bro.

He's probably doing cocaine at the time. Could have been maybe doing a bump or something. I don't remember. But I had a lot of anxiety. I just met this woman. I don't know where. It's late at night. All those things make me nervous.

So I'm like, damn, it's dark out. That anxiety kicks in. Two in the afternoon, I'll make love to anybody. Yeah. But when it hits about 530, 645, son son i get too much nervous energy in me feel you hey chin i uh i a guy who i won't say his name but you know who he is i was talking about kratom and he was like kratom uh a lot of guys fucks with their erections yep he's like i can't get hard off kratom really i said i use it every day dude my dick hard as a rock what is that

kratom chin Chin hit it. It's a leaf. It's from Thailand, I believe, and Indonesia. And all it is is basically a leaf that's dried up and then ground up. So it's just a natural product. But then I think Thai farmers would use it to stay up and feel better.

You just described also cocaine. No, the cocaine's processed, right? Cocaine's processed. Are you talking about opium? So it actually hits the same, similar receptors, but it doesn't it's not really considered an opioid but it messes with the same receptors

so it's a very controversial thing plant I use it every year I don't encourage people to use it just research it yourself that's the most you've talked in like a year now you're talking

where was my backup last? Now you're talking? Where's my backup last week? Now you're talking about this fucking dick. I always got your back, dude. I always got your back. Anything about dick? Just come to me. It is interesting how you, yeah, the Vietnamese, bro, know what's up. So that's in Vietnam?

Huh? Yeah, you can get it here, though. I swear by Kratom. It's my limitless bill. You'll take it every day? Every single day. How much powder do you take? I take three pills.

Maca is a good thing for that. Yeah, but see, that's another natural. Maca is good. Maca, ashwagandha. Maca. Ashwagandha is on my list. I make a shake. A canacea.

I make a shake with some ashwagandha. A canacea. A ginkgo biloba. I throw some ashwagandha in, some maca with some green tea. Oh, damn. With some matcha. Yeah, what's that? Black panther.

Yeah. And then I put a banana in, and then I have turmeric. That's the shake I make. You're going to wake up at a Panda Express. Dude, I'm about to be 50. I got to like... You'll be on it.

Yeah, and my girl wants to have babies and shit. I'm starting life late. You're going to have a family? She wants to, so I'm like... I didn't know if I was going to do that, so now I'm like, damn, it's time to do it. So I got to like... That's why I'm down 40 pounds of body fat. And I'm trying, I just got a rowing machine.

Oh, so you're doing it. You mean a boat? I'm about to be like hydro. You got the new house? Are you and your girl trying? Like, you know, she's not. She very much like, I want to be married first. So we already got a date.

We can get married in June. From the 1950s? Yeah, who are you telling? So you're not busting nuts? Well, I am, Steve. It's cream pie? She hasn't pulled the goalie yet. Cream pie.

No, no, no. She hasn't pulled the goalie yet. Don't say cream pie, though. I'm talking about his girl. Cream pie is some porno shit, Steve. All right, time stamp that for sure. Steve's cream pie-ing all over the place. Now Theo feels sick.

He don't even need to know the girl's first name I love you I'll be better next time Theo, I know you see a lot of bros at the shows A lot of them losing their hair Two out of three bros will experience some form of hair loss By the time they're 35 Some guy left hair in the seat the other night

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don't you? You want to be treated? Well, that's keeps, K-E-E-P-S dot com slash cats to get your first month free. K-E-E-P-S dot com slash cats. I keep spelling it out for you, dude. Thanks, dude. We got another. Next confession. Two more really good confessions.

Okay. All right. What if this confession was, I was at a show last night. It's deep. Dude, I swear. Got an anonymous confession here. My dad, a few years ago, passed away.

You know, loved him, very close to him. And when he had passed away, you know, it just happened. And one thing I thought was the old man's got some credit still so I went and maxed out pretty much all his credit cards he had left for stuff that I needed computer some shit for my car all kinds of shit and never came back on me so I mean who gives a shit at this point you know but yeah I just wanted to get that out there that I took all those credit cards after he died and fucking spent the fuck out of them so anyways thanks for letting me confess gang gang buzz buzz I'm gonna say black guy guy no I'll tell you why I don't have a problem with this because in our country

the the inheritance laws that they take 40% anyway like like if you you know like unless you have a living trust and unless you have that kind of stuff in place where you make sure your money goes, which you make sure you do that, because if you don't, they take a lot of money when you die. That's what's going to happen. When Bill Gates dies,

the government's like, well, all right, thanks. Give us these billions. That's what happens, man. That guy was like, you know what? I'm not getting whatever, so give me some computers and stuff. Dude, if Bill Gates dies, we could probably save the inner cities of America,

I feel like. Do you feel like we'd get enough money back to like... Well, did you see what happened with Elon Musk? I forget who the people who run the hunger shit. It was like, man,

$6 billion would cure hunger in the world and he was like cool if you can prove that i'll give you six billion dollars yeah he was like and then they're like well no we don't mean like cured help out he's gonna get the fuck no because he also said to them open up your books that's what he said he was like i'll give you six billion if it shows me that show me this on paper they couldn't do it i love that i love that he's like that i love that he's like that because I love that he's like that. Because now he's like, he got $300 billion now. $6 billion.

Billion? Billion. He's the richest man in the world now. He was like, yeah, he's the closest to a trillionaire. He was like, show me if you can prove it would help. I'll give you $6 billion right now. What about being a grillionaire, dude? Let me see your grill.

Paul Wall. Is that like you have like... We need to get Paul Wall back on this bitch. He's got that grillionaire, dude? Let me see your grill. Paul Wall. Is that like you have like... We need to get Paul Wall back on this bitch. He's got that grillionaire. Wait, wait, wait. Paul Wall was here? Paul Wall, yeah, came on the show. Paul Wall.

The people's champ. People's champ. He was here. He sent his grills too. Is this true, Chin? Yeah, he was on the show. Him and Jelly Roll. He listens with his family. That's crazy. Yeah, he has a freaking family, and Jelly Roll He listens with his family

That's crazy Yeah, he has a freaking family Which you're gonna have soon And you could have one day If you get your act together And if you do better at your job You too If you didn't have performance anxiety

That's a good point, dude Fair point I'm gonna get that family I better get in there And get it fast Yeah You just need your girl To pull the goalie, Eric

How long do you have to be Having sex to get a baby, you think? You know what? Do you have to nut all the way in? It's so hit and miss. Shit. No, it depends on the question. It's hard to have a baby.

I don't mean to interrupt you, but it ain't easy. It ain't easy. You see 60 and pregnant, and you're like, oh, it ain't easy. It ain't easy. Oh, if you can't read, apparently it's real easy. That's what it seems like. Fair point, though. What about pre?

Can pre come impregnate her? Oh, yeah. Pre come. You've got gotta have a strong Batch of it though dude Now Stevie really stressed out Yeah Steve never pulls out

No I do I do the roly poly The roly poly What's the roly poly Tell us that move You You do a backwards roll You nut you

No no before you nut You roll backwards Why would you do that So you pull out You roll You guys Damn you do some Zumanity shit

Let's move on Let's get some Zumanity shit A rolly polly Damn That sounds like A Steve yoga class Right there

Two of the girls Like had fun with Steve And then he He got the nut He did a cartwheel And fucking nutted in my face No it's to prevent You from nutting

You pull out Dude just move backwards. I don't know why I do the roll. Actually, the roll's pretty cool. But are the girls on top, Steve? The roll's very Jackie Chan. You just pull out. What you rolling for? He ain't being on the bottom, bro.

Yeah. No, he ain't. I have. He can get dominated by someone. I like pulling the buns. I have, yeah. I like looking at the boobs. I'm a human. I guess he can get dominated by someone. I like holding the buns. I have, yeah. You like going to that bun shop? I like looking at the boobs. Yeah, I'm a human.

I like it. I'm a human. Yeah. You like going to the bun shop? Very Jackie Chan if you do a backflip after you know it. It's not a flip. It's a roll. There's a difference.

I'm not looking at it. And then they show the outtakes after he messes up a few times. He turns his neck and shit. Well, what did you say? Comes in his own face. Puts his own eyes out. He said it. Which probably doesn't take much.

What else you got, Nate? We'll actually do two more because this one can also, just like the last one, double as erase my K. I really like this segment, by the way. Keep this. I really liked it.

Yeah, that was white guy too, the last one. Yeah, I'm going white. Yo, so I used to work as a secret shopper out of Macy's with two other dudes. Puerto Rican. I slowly started noticing that they was wearing polo Ralph Lauren and all these foreign brands. And I'm like, damn, what the fuck? So, you know, next thing you know, we end up all admitting to each other that we started stealing little bits of search. And then we all grouped together and just started

stealing everything. All the sections, stealing everything. Like $1,500 worth every night. It was huge. We set up all the cameras so we couldn't get caught.

It just felt like a hype. Stevie Weeby don't even feel bad. Yeah. I'm a saint So what we couldn't get caught so it just felt like a height so even if you don't even feel bad to red Yeah Say compared to that He was like he went right to the criminal in the room Don't feel too bad man. I'm a saint. I did nothing wrong Fucking California couldn't even understand what he was saying

Was a secret shopper. So like someone. Was he? Yeah. That dude's New York. Inside job. It's pretty. Damn. Dominican as fuck. Yeah.

That's New York. Sometime, yeah. That secret shopper, man. I don't know. What is a secret shopper? It's like, you ever see that black dude that has like white skin? You know what I'm talking about? The albino?

Yeah. Like the albino. Yeah. I always go over to that dude i'm like i know you a secret shopper you know so you just go to random albino dudes in a store you the secret shopper right no i just say hey fam i know what you can yeah i give him that wink i say i know you i'm just saying hey man what are they doing? You know what I'm saying? Give me some intel. Sometimes I like to think when I

get on a plane, people think I'm the marshal. There's a marshal on the flight. I come on that bitch, my tattoos are on. I'm like, oh, they probably think I'm the marshal. No. No, dude. Maybe the marshal mellow. Nobody thinks you're the fucking marshal. You don't think so? On the flight?

Like if shit goes down, you'll think they're like, oh, that guy's got this. You know there's a real Marshall somewhere. You dress like a thick girl going to Coachella, dude. There's no way anybody thinks you the Marshall. No, maybe they think I'm dressing like that not to fit in.

No. All right. Who do they think is the Marshall of this group? No, not the other. Not with that hair. Not with that hair. Eric. Eric.

Yeah, Eric. He looks like a sheriff. Yeah. Sheriff. Hey, John, sit down. Yeah. I used to have like, when I worked with kids, I had like a, had to go to my principal voice.

Enough, enough. Yeah, sometimes you gotta do that. Hey, that's all you gotta do. It's a timber in your voice that makes people go, okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. A marshal you'd be a good marshal eric yeah well in my next life i knew a real marshal he's like this shit sucks man nothing ever happens he's like i'm flying all around the goddamn country nothing ever happens eating them bisque off cookies yeah that's how you keep your mask off yeah on that yeah no you get a venti coffee

you just sip it or get a camelback a lot of people do that now you'll see people on there with camelbacks just sucking on them the whole time dude we were on a flight

in this my boy Mark Carley sat next to this old lady and she goes she's gonna be up front right away I'm a stickler on mask so I need you to leave

your mask on he's like well I'm drinking she's like I don't care in between drinks put that mask on I was like well bitch you're working overtime today then because i'm loosey goosey with this mask bitch she was all up on him the whole flight there should be something about wake him up it's it's under your nose sir oh dude i had erection one time on a flight right

the lady erections on flights the lady wakes me up and says, sir, your body. I talked about this before on this past weekend. What do you mean? Your boner? Yeah. She said your body? She said, sir, your body. Then orders a blanket for me from the flight attendant.

Fair. Because you're so big. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, you were enticing her. She was like, excuse me, all that cock is. Sir, your dick is in my face? Yeah.

It was like smelling brownies you know what i mean she was like did you see nick cannon not a dick next to me right now nick cannon was hosting a show and just had his dick out bro oh let me see you massive dick let me see it he's in a in a fitted suit and his dick there it is yeah i mean this dude has a fucking cannon on him no pun intended yes what are you guys talking about nick canada look at that he did a show like that oh you got a python he didn't say anything no no he has to you have to know no no that thing that's big dick life man dude you got big dick you know what happened was he was flirting with somebody and then they were

like you gotta go The thing filled up. He's like, oh, shit, right now? The game always used to post photos, and he just had. What's it? Is that his dick? Absolutely monster. Oh, my God. Nice.

It looks like those clams that you guys ate. Yeah. We done. Dude, that's 10 inches at least. So Theo was on a Delta flight doing this. We done. Wait, he'll put this on his Instagram? Yeah, he put hashtag.

I figured what he put. His hashtags were hilarious, though. He stopped doing it. He probably got fans. Dang, boy. The gang's known to mess with the boys, though. We got to get out there, Steve. We got to get you out there.

Put something tight on you. It's going to be real tight. Damn, Steve, you do fucking pull-ups on that big dick, dog. It's going to have to be real tight. Damn, Steve, you do fucking pull-ups on that big dick, dog. It's going to have to be real tight, boy. Love to see you do a fucking backflip after that. We might have to shrink wrap you to see that thing. But did you get the blanket? What happened?

Oh, yeah, the lady brought the blanket over, and I just thought it was absolutely – and I looked at the lady's husband, and I said, you see what's going on here, sir? Is he cool with this? He was like, yeah. He said, yeah, big dick. He wanted you to come sir? I said, you cool with this? He was like, yeah. He said, yeah. He wanted you to come over. I need you to take my wife down. How do you guys get boners on flights?

I don't know. I think it's the altitude. Flight gives me boner every time. Me too. You guys get boners on the airplane? The second we leave the ground. Me too. I got that space dick.

Is it the stewardess? Just be honest. Is it the stewardess? No, it's the air. It's just being in the air. I don't like being erection on earth, I think. Yeah, I don't like being above 1,000 feet. Once Brandon starts getting away from his wife, he's like... My dick smells it, dude.

We fly away. I believe I can fly. My dick's all, yeah. Freedom. I was a finance stewardess. I'm like, God damn it. Big ass just boom, boom, boom. Up and down the aisle.

They not usually fine anymore. They don't do that anymore. They fly jet blue. Do some of them. You gotta go international like Emirates and those places. They fine. They still got standards. We got a bunch of them. You got to go international, like Emirates and those places. They fine. They don't have that. They still got standards.

We got a bunch of men. They out here weighing these bitches before. You know what I mean? This shit is old school at Emirates. Not on Delta. At Southwest, there's always a gay dude. I'm like, back up, dog. Back the fuck up, man.

You probably be a little magnet for that, huh? No, they all up on me. Oh, yeah. Them little gay dudes running in. They'll wake me up. Sir, are you feeling okay? I'm like, yeah, bitch, I'm sleeping, man. Oh, you probably be a little magnet for that, huh? No, they all a bomb. Oh, yeah. Them little gay dudes running. They'll wake me up. Sir, are you feeling okay? I'm like, yeah, bitch, I'm sleeping, man. They love you.

Back up, dog. Yeah. You know you a little more friendly than that. Yeah, I am. Yeah, that's what the problem is. He got just a friendly face, man. They say, hey, Marshall. Yeah.

You must be the Marshall, right? I think I got a little- Marshall Law up in here. I got a little crime maybe I think some crime could be happening in my book sir they just had a small crime in my butt if you want to check it out have you ever have you ever had sex on a plane and what the stewardess? What do they call that? The mile high stuff? You and I are way too big for that.

Yeah. I'm like this. Have you ever had the shit because you had to go? Every time. I don't give a fuck. I don't know why people care. That's just a dirty butt situation. But you know what I do?

I act like I'm on the phone. I get my phone up and act like I'm talking on the phone, even though we're 10,000 feet in the air. And you went in the bathroom to talk on the phone? Yeah. And I come out 10 minutes later like, so what? It's a nightmare. It's exhausting. The cleanup is always longer than the delivery.

It's a beast. It's a beast in there. And so you just know, I just know I gotta go take a shower as soon as I land. And these underwear are done. These underwear are done. You shit in your pants? You can't. It's this big and I was even bigger. You cannot wipe your ass properly

in an airplane bathroom. There's not enough room. There's not enough room. Oh, keep that in there. Yeah, there's not enough room. I mean, I grabbed the fucking paper towels. I'm wiping. I'm taking a bath in there. I'm going to get the water. The blue water. I'll splash it wiping. I'm taking a bath in there. You know what I mean? I get the water.

Yeah, yeah, dude. The blue water. I splash it up. It's a nightmare. That blue water tastes good, too. Hell yeah, dog. So you can't have sex in there, baby. Who's having sex in the bath?

I don't get how you do it. It's physically impossible for me. Even if some fine-ass stewardess is like, hey, Marshall. Nothing. You're like, what are we going to do? The door would have to be open. There ain't no fine-ass. Every now and then, there'll be a nice looking

you on Delta? no I usually night it every now and then on Delta you see a nice looking JetBlue has some baddie stuff you guys been with one before? Asturias? I don't know I might have

you know you've slipped your number oh I've definitely slipped my number walking off the plane you like yeah begin to call back to different stories right right right never got a call back oh i remember writing my this long note to a girl one time in new york at a restaurant too much you did oh it was so so thirsty you expressed your love for it and she didn't respond back just a long note like how fucking long is this shit like anybody gonna reply to that what you writing huh we're just some different stuff about the restaurant and her how much you love her yeah

you ever write on the receipt like you know like i've done that yeah you ever had a girl write her number on the receipt yeah but yeah i didn't call because you know what you you think, Steve? They're not all winners. Anybody ever slip a note under Lindsay Lohan's door in here? Anybody? Oh, I did one night actually at a hotel. You slipped a note under her door? Yeah, we were both staying in the same hotel across the hall from each other. She was fine and mean, girls.

I left a note under there. And did you put, I got a Rhino 7000 and I'm up all night? I don't know what I put, man. I wrote probably something special on it. I really got to hear that. What something special? And please play some romantic music while he's saying it. Tell us the Lindsay Lohan.

First of all, what state was this in, Phil? This was in Minneapolis. The state of Minneapolis, dude. Always and forever. Yeah, it was like Good Evening, I think it started with. Good Evening. Because it was after about 4.30, I remember. Like Good Evening, dude. Always and forever. Yeah, I was like, good evening, I think it started then. Good evening. Because it was after about 4.30, I remember.

Like, good evening, yeah. Good evening. Fancy that we're both staying here. What a beautiful town. This is when Minneapolis was a lot smaller. Something out came true. I happened to be in town for work.

What about you? Don't answer that. And then it was like, oh, yeah. So then when security came knocking on your door, then what happened? I said, hey, if you're trying to meet somebody for a drink or something later, I happen to be standing right across the hall. Hit me up. Was it crazy, Lindsay Lohan, though?

Or like? It was probably pretty crazy. She used to be bad, though. Oh, yeah. She was a freak very talented too super talented did you see her list though

wait pull that up cause she had a list of the people she's had sex with it was like parent trap she put her ooh dog yeah I would've left a note I would've left a drawing

yeah yeah yeah parents this is a real thing you're not making this up when she was nine this is a real thing

oh nevermind then I was also nine I was into it oh there you go it was adult parent trap This is a real thing. You're not making this up. Never mind then. I was also nine. I was into it. There you go. It was adult parent trap. She don't got all the people. They got it covered up, but this was her list.

It was a list? Yeah. She made a list? Colin Farrell, Justin Timberlake, James Franco. I love how some of the people had good enough publicists to get their names scratched out, and some people didn't. Theo could have been on that list. He's probably on that list. Go back to it.

Where would Theo be on the list in terms of like- Be in the middle. You know what I mean? Probably a 12. Yeah. I'd say 12, 13. I love how the list is written on a Scattergory's card. That's how I love.

Yeah. Wow. She did that. It's like one through 12. It's just like the bigger dicks on the left. You know what I mean? How does she categorize this? I don't know.

She got Heath Ledger before he passed away. Yeah. R.I.P. He came to defend himself, though. There you go. One more confession. This one's a little bit more innocent. We'll go to a lighter note.

A couple more. What's up, fellas? This is... so about two years ago i entered a bass fishing tournament in the uh in the louisiana area so the way these work is you can only catch fish that are like in the river in the lake like natural fish so i entered this tournament it was for a benefit for a high school baseball team. So what I did is I went and caught fish in a pond the day before, like not connected to the river, and put them in a trap in the water. When I launched my boat for the bass tournament,

I drove all the way up the river to where this was, went and got the fish out of the pond, put them in my boat, and there were some big fish. Ended up winning the tournament by about a pound. And won $1,000. Dang. So I feel pretty bad about it. Sorry, baseball team. Okay.

He cheated. Cheater. I helped that guy out. He said his name. He said the city and the high school. Damn. He cheated. That's all.

He cheated. Cheater. Yeah. That's proud of Bono, huh, Chin? You better believe it. Tournament? They take it very seriously. The pros.

For fishing tournaments? Yeah. Have you guys done any tournaments in Korea? Here we go, man. Here we go. Like a squid game thing, but fishing. Yeah, I'm just asking if you ever fished. I've never fished in Korea.

They would eat the fish before they turned them in, so it would be like, what happened to the fish? You're like, oh, you got to get a fish in Korea. They would eat the fish before they turned them in, so it would be like, we'll have it to the fish. You're like, oh, are we supposed to bring those in? He's 12 pounds, man. I thought he had wasabi. You at least got an eye, right? Dude, I'm going to punch you in the fucking arm, man. Why do you always want to punch me?

I don't know. I don't know. And the level of Asian racism that comes out of his mouth, and you want to punch me. I love these people, man. He's just poking fun. You got a little malicious intent with this shit. You know what I mean? I can't even believe this.

I'm the serious one. I love you, man. Fish are delicious, though. He ain't are stinging. It's not racist. Fish are delicious. Fish is what made me sick. This guy don't got good hat style.

Fish ain't delicious all the time, though. Is that a cop's hat? This guy don't got hat head. Bro, you know delicious all the time, though. Is that a cop's hat? This guy don't got hat head. Bro, you know Cops is Back? You know Cops is Back? Nice. I love Cops. It's on Fox.

Is it really? On demand, but on Fox. Makes sense. This guy's got to sink my ink for us. Damn. Boys, I got a King of the Stinget incriminating tattoos. My boy Steve might love this one. Got the old pervert on the thigh.

I was going to say, I love perverts. It's a term of impairment, but around the wrong people, it's a little sketchy. Oh, man. Great tattoo. That's a good one. I like it. I say get it, man. Yep.

It's like an inside joke I like the heart I wonder if he got it though when he was like maybe a little more in shape I think he got it like last week a lot of senior citizens love that shit

you probably can't get my seeing pervy stuff you can't probably you probably can't get my son school with that tattoo you feel me they're not like guys with pervert tattoos

but a lot of children who's seeing that like you know in the summer you wear short shorts. Well, you could fill it in. Just fill in the heart. Make it a black heart. He could always fill it in.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Black-o's done. Yeah. This guy's got a King of the Stinger for us. What up, King of the Sting? Theo, Brendan, Eric. Saw you at Laugh Boston.

Killed that shit. Thank you. Bring the Scissor Bros to Boston. All right, I got a quick King of the Stinger for you guys. So I'm delivering some cremated remains today. Gang, baby. What do we think? Making your mailman deliver your dead loved ones.

Let me know, guys. You know, in the old days, a family member would take it and they would ride it out to the family's place of home. That makes more sense. Well, I mean, is he scooping some out? If he's copping some, then that's crazy. I don't think he is. He seemed like an up-and-up dude. Well, that's USPS.

You're shipping your dead dad. People are lazy. I love how they put cremated remains on. I wouldn't want to know that. People would steal that in a heartbeat by us. What if he says somebody steals it and then they like, is there a ransom for this? Yeah.

You know, I got your dead grandpa. Because sometimes too you'll find a jewelry in there. Yeah. Sometimes they cook them down and they still got a jewelry on them. Yep. Or their teeth. So a lot of people steal that in a heartbeat just to sift through it for maybe a little ring or something. I'm not saying this guy, but a lot of USPS, if you order shoes, if you're like a sneakerhead,

you order like Off-Whites or Jordans or Travis Scott's, those really expensive shoes, the box gives away what's inside. So Nike had to change the box because so many UPS and USPS drivers were stealing the boxes. So they had to change the box. Bro, shipping something is just crazy. It's basically like, do you want to steal this? I don't want to know that. I like it.

Like, I had this, like, foolish faith that, you know, that's not going to happen, that people care about their job and, you know, there's some integrity to the mail service. But it's like, damn, knowing that is terrible. How much are those sneakers worth? Well, now, Travis Scott's went down, obviously, because he killed people. But with Off-White, those are through the roof.

Like, a shoe I bought for, I got in Chicago from some plug in Chicago for $700. It's going for, like, $8,000 now. $8,000? Wow. The new Travis Scott's have blood on them from that concert. Yep. And they come with more air. Take that, Lil Nas X.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Sarah Tiana, that Lil Nas X that's crazy that's crazy Sarah Tiana that's her joke actually that's not even my joke but would you rather Travis Scott see somebody steal those

or would you rather steal Travis Scott or actually steal Travis Scott remains is he dead? I don't know if he died I didn't know you made

I'm just not a sneaker oh Travis Scott yeah they're like some of the most exclusive sneakers oh I get those Ronald McDaniels Mm-hmm did if he died, I didn't know you made I'm just not a sneaker. Oh Some of the most exclusive sneakers. I get those Ronald mcdang. What's the exclusive sneaker and why? Jordan it's the same with like trading cards, you know, how like the only made certain Jordan rookie cards or like certain sneakers There's only like 50 of them or like there's certain Jordans like they made a M&M Jordan. There's like two of them But there's certain Jordans. They made an M&M Jordan. There's like two of them. They're like 50 grand.

Yeah, I saw a show where they had some weird Jordans, and the guy was like, these are $50,000. And I was like, what? I love the Off-Whites and Virgil. I've supported Virgil for fucking ever. I have so many Off-Whites, and now he passed away. Whatever, but the value of them went through the fucking roof. Speaking of Off-White. We'll close it out with this one. Hell yeah, dude. fucking roof. Speaking of off-white.

We'll close it out with this one. Hell yeah, dude. Aloha. You look sick. Yo, King and his thing boys. What's up? Got a quick debate club for you guys today. You're a fan of the bath?

You know, in the bath right now? You know, the bath is for the boys. You know? I love a bath every so often. You know, after a long workout or a long workout or maybe a rugby game. The shower's better. Everyone admits the shower's better, but do you guys like baths?

Come on. You're a fan. Get in the bubbles with the boys. Bubbles with the boys? In the UK. In the UK? Well, when you're as smooth as a seal. Love you guys.

Love you, brother. I love you, young man. Yeah, that guy is hopefully doing okay. Wait, first of all, he's living his bath of life. Yeah, his bathroom looks nice, too. I don't fuck with baths. Dude, I was looking at the houses. I don't understand why baths, it's still part of the process. Who the fuck uses baths?

Some chicks do. Damn. Oh, now. Some older guys do. I love a good bath with a bath i get a cbd bath bomb throw that sucker in you should be sitting in the bath i got my ipad i'm watching hot tub dog no a hot tub you don't get cleaned in a hot tub you know you do though what's the difference between a hot tub and a hot bath a hot tub it's circulating it's fresh water it's circulating the water the bath you're

sitting in your own fucking no no you take a shower first yeah too much work too much work and then you get in the bath and get that then you take a shower even after the bath it's look at that two showers we used to get our bodies all hot in the shower when i was young we'd get our bodies all hot me and my brother and then drawing each other's skin when it was so red remember trying to get the heat all the way up the hot water? You'd be all red? We'd get it all the way to the max. Wow.

Yeah. Is that called redneck finger painting? You guys are bored as fuck. Redneck tattoos? Yeah, that's redneck finger painting. You could condition your body to really acclimate to that heat. But they couldn't afford paper, so they were like, you know what I mean? Drawing each other.

I don't fuck with baths. I don't fuck with bass. I don't like them. Well, you're too big, too. I'm big, too. So, like, if I go to a hotel, I always take a bath bomb with me just in case I'm at a hotel. You're not old as fuck, bro.

He is. I'm not. I don't think I was a bath bomb. Y'all out here, bath bomb. It's like a, kind of an Iwo Jima reenactment. He drops that bomb.

Yeah, okay. And if it's a big, like, I was doing a movie in Boston. I was staying at the Mandarin. Oh, damn. Y drops that bomb. Yeah, okay. And if it's a big, like I was doing a movie in Boston. I was staying at the Mandarin. Oh, damn. Y'all rich. Slight fracks.

Netflix is the ones that pay for that. Y'all rich as hell. And the bathtub was like. The Mandarin. It's the after a fruit. It was a beautiful bathtub that I fit in perfectly. And there was a bath and body works right like a block away. So I was taking baths all the time.

Just lounging. Just lounging. What flavors? You had peach? You had some strawberry? I might have had a peach. The water's just still like that. I get an erection, man. I'm going to have to jack off.

You have a problem. Maybe you have an issue, man. Yeah, you the problem. It's like the bath. Because you can see the sperm swimming. Oh, here we go. Steve's swimming in his own cum. Okay, thanks for tuning in for another episode of King of Steve.

You're just swimming in your own cum, huh, Steve? Steve, you know, has an aquarium at home. He just keeps filling up, stalking the pond. Check out my sea monkeys. Yeah. Naming them all. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm having a real game. Because I can see that. Be empathetic. It. Name them all. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm having a wild game.

Be empathetic. It's sad, man. I know. When we were kids, we did that. Not anymore. Stevie's going to get back up this week. Who had weirder things? Redneck finger painting? Definitely him. Did you ever shower with your brother

like Theo did? If you have brothers, you shower with them. Did you and shower with your brother like Theo did? Yeah. What? Oh, yeah. If you have brothers, you shower with them. Did you and Bobby ever shower together? You shower with your brother? I'll shower with my kiddos together. You shower with your brother. I did.

You did? Yeah. Theo probably had like a real ghetto water heater. Can't do a past eight, though. Yeah. Yeah, you got to do that shit early. It's a daytime event. Yeah.

Is it? I'm not showering my brother at night like some creep. Yeah. That's when it got romantic. I mean, it's just, you don't do it. What if you're in the shower and the lights and then the sun goes down?

You gotta get out of there. Someone has to get out. All of a sudden. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

I got it. Oh my God. Hell no. Is that it, Nick? That's it. Yeah. All right, kids. Brennan Chobb and friends,

Melrose, off Melrose, it's the Hollywood Improv. That is December 22nd. Hopefully, Theo's probably not in town. Either way, it's Schaub and Friends. The Friends are going to be fucking funny. You guys know who they are.

Yeah, I wasn't on the Eric and Friends, but that's all right. Y'all had a good time. Eric could be on mine, though. I was in the lab. You even showed up. Eric could be on mine a bunch of the time. He would have had all these demands. You know what I'm saying?

In the lab. He has writers on the ship. Yeah, you got riders for a lab show. Shob and Friends, December 22nd. Hollywood Improv, December 22nd. Then Dania, Florida. It's the Fort Lauderdale Improv, bringing the New Years with your thick friend. December 30th through January 1st.

Alright, that's Fort Lauderdale, Florida. End of the year. Let's ride! This weekend, I'm at Stand Up Live in Arizona. Oh, you really? You got a nice little run, man. Stand Up Live, year. Let's ride. This weekend, I'm at Stand Up Live in Arizona. Oh, you really? Yeah. Oh, that's one of my favorite clubs, man. Stand Up Live, La Jolla. La Jolla's great.

La Jolla was great. It was fine. All the shows were packed. All the shows were packed. It was really good. January 8th, Scissor Bros, Jeffersonville, Pennsylvania. February 3rd, Oxnard, Levity Live. Bro, no one's coming to your show.

Look at the way you're talking. February 5th, Stand Up Huntington Beach. February 6th, Irvine Improv with Jeremiah. He told me to say this. Let me see what mine are. Mine are February 2nd, Jacksonville, Florida. Yeah, the butthole of Florida right there, man. A lot of beautiful people there that I'm excited to see.

February 3rd. You look like a change for the money, man. I love Jacksonville, man. Ooh, a lot for the money man I love Jacksonville man Woo A lot of beautiful people out there In Jacksonville Don't be hating on Jacksonville man Jacksonville A good place to get mugged

At a stoplight bro Yeah man You also got St. Petersburg Florida February 3rd Orlando February 5th

Then you got Rockford, Illinois February 26th Chicago Sorry Where you playing in Chicago? I think the Chicago Theater Yeah That'd be fun 5th. Then got Rockford, Illinois February 26th. Chicago. Sorry. What are you playing in Chicago? I think the Chicago Theater. That'd be fun.

I've never been. Friday, Rockford, Saturday, Chicago, February 25th, 26th. And then Tulsa and Los Angeles on sale now. Where are you in Los Angeles? The Wiltern during some festival. Oh, Netflix festival? Yeah.

I feel you, dog. Oh, and we got Fight Companion this weekend. 7 p.m. live, Pacific. The Diamond. Fight Companion. Oh, yeah. Y'all doing Fight Companion? You're doing Fight Companion.

Dang. You in town or what, dog? I'm going. I'm going to be there. Oh, you're going to the fight? Yeah. All right. Take it easy.

We're doing Fight Companion here. I might have to get in the ring, dog, if shit gets out of hand. Are you going to be in the front row with a mint coat on? I wish, dude. If I was Brennan's son, I would. You'll hear Theo, Kate's side. Rip his head off. Rip his head off.

Your son is fancy as fuck, though, on Instagram. That's something fine as hell, too. One of them. My girl did his hair like the Island Boys. I sent it to Theo. Oh, yeah. Beautiful. God, beautiful.

All right. Love you guys. We're out. We're out. in for the laughs. Theo said that he was on his way but ran out of gas. Stevie Weeby used to wrestle down at Pallway. Now he only pitting boys in the hallway. This ain't the greatest show on earth and what you call

that? Eric Griffin with him. He the Nate Dogger podcast. Yeah, the whole crew sick. It's the kink and the stink. What up, Chin? What up, Nick? Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin just walked in and got it lit. You can't forget about Brendan. He still need everything. We'll be right back. Outro Music King and the Sting. King and the Sting. King and the Sting.