The Golden Hour - Episode 152: Sweet Home Alabama

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Smokeshow "Alabama" is back for a KATS Dating Game Zoom call with her potential dating contestants and chooses her favorite contestant LIVE on the show. Also, the guys talk UFC 269 Charles Oliveira vs Dustin Poirier, female fighters, strip clubs and strip club stories, big music concerts vs big UFC events, Justin Bieber, Brendan's old UFC fight stories, a potential new Fight Companion with the crew watching all of Brendan's old fights and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hold on, one last question. So when you're out there, do you just black out? No. Or do you... Steve just wakes up in the hospital. I know. After a UFC fight, Steve just wakes up in the traction. All you hear is...

If I fought TV... He's like, black out, guys. I shouldn't have told you. You don't do anything but drink water, huh Eric? No, he doesn't drink Theo's not in here so I got a little whiskey in my cup Yeah, where's Theo? He's in Nashville, man And he couldn't find a producer to help him zoom it in, huh Nick?

You know what? He was at the fights, man. He was there? Like, he was, like, backstage. Yeah, he went with Spade. And then, obviously, he's boys with. He's boys with Gaethje. He's boys with Poirier.

They put him on the UFC Instagram. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. So he's big time now, huh? Private jets. I don't think he's flying private

You know Theo he's a penny pincher He's flying spirit And then if David Spade hits him up for private What are your thoughts on the Juliana Pena Upsetting Amanda Did everyone watch it You probably didn't watch it

Dude that was a stunner I'm not into fighting because I don't like it's too violent and i'm really not into women fighting that's fair i don't like looking at that yeah and you know it's weird to be set up you're like that's already you're you're a feminine you know you're not you're anti no no i just no i don't the way i was raised man i don't like seeing women get in the face now i'm different i'm different i i get that uh it's different i think like if you look at, a Paige Van Zandt or, you know, Rachel Ostevich, who are just dime pieces. And when they get in the face, I'm like, oh, god damn.

Rose is pretty, too. Rose is pretty, too. She's really pretty. Yeah, different. Like, you look at Paige, it's like supermodel. You look at Rachel Ostevich, supermodel. Some of these girls. But then if they're like warlocks, like, hell yeah, let's do this.

I just, I don't like it, man. model some of these girls but then if they're like warlocks like hell yeah let's do this i just i don't like it man i don't like by the way i don't like my my buddy i have a buddy my eric you know eric coke you know what i mean what'd you say you know eric you know i don't like watching him fight because he's my friend yeah we play video games with him we met him playing destiny yeah we got to know this guy he became our friend yeah and then it's hard watching him oh rogan used to cry oh yeah i'm sure it's the same thing with you yeah i can't i hated it that's why i can't do it so i don't like what and that's what i'm saying i don't like watching women fight like ours we we're brought up we're brought up to to like you know you don't hit women so apparently

it's okay for women to get hit if it's pay-per-view? Well, against another woman, though. Even still. Wait, wait. Let me ask you something. Let me ask you something. Harry is old school. He's like, I was brought up. Women don't get hit when they stay in the goddamn kitchen. I didn't say all that.

Nobody. He added that shit. He added that. No, but that's what you're. Time stamp. Time stamp. But we all got that. We all got that vibe in here, right?

I didn't even put on there the views of Brendan Schaub or not. No, that's your... No, no, no. Here's the thing. Let me ask you this. Okay, so who's this chick that just fought the female champ? Pena. Okay.

Juliana Pena. Juliana Pena fought Amanda Nunes. Okay, so... Both moms, by the way. So let me ask you this. Both moms. Who's doing more damage? If I hit one of these chicks in the face...

Yeah. Or one of them hit each other in the face if a man in the face hit you yeah you hear let's take stevie for example if you hit stevie in the face if amanda nunez hit stevie in the face you know what i'm talking about amanda nunez would probably do more damage okay okay amanda would knock you out no no no excuse me you're not you're missing the whole point you're missing the point because you're not listening take a second. Just say your thing, though.

Steve, Steve, Steve. No, say your line. I know, but Steve, shut the fuck up. Steve, Steve, Steve. Shut the fuck up. The other line. So what I'm saying is, my point is, therefore, if I hit this chick in the face, everybody would flip out.

They'd be like, I'm mad, it's hitting. Like, if I hit this chick in the face, everybody would flip out. They'd be like, I'm mad, it's hitting. But this chick who's trained, a trained killer, hits her in the face, and we're like, this is cool. But she's another female. As long as we... But they're another female. And she didn't like... If you think that matters, that's the hypocrisy of the whole thing. I just don't like it.

I don't like none of that. I don't want to see you get hit in the face. That's fair. You're a big fucking monster. Yeah, that's fair. And I don't want to see a 100-pound... No,'t like it. I don't like none of that. I don't want to see you get hit in the face. That's fair. You're a big fucking monster. Yeah, that's fair. And I don't want to see a 100-pound- No, I get it. You know, whatever, 120-pound chick get hit in the face even more so.

You're not a fan of any of it. You never was a fan of UFC or any of it. No, no, no. I don't even like boxing. You never liked it. No. Ever. You don't like people getting hurt.

Yeah, especially when boxing even worse, because look, all these boxing people, they can't talk. Yeah. They get an MS. And I'm just like, oh, man, those violent sports, I'm out. Yeah, especially when boxing even worse because look all these boxing people they can't talk They get an MS they get like and I'm just like oh man. Did those violent sports? I'm out. What were you saying? I just I get not like enjoying watching it But you're but you're reasoning like if I'm if it's a it's hit by Amanda It's not like Amanda was popping up at dinner. So she got popped. It was she's like I want to go to war I signed up for this competition It was, she was like, I want to go to war.

I signed up for this competition. Do you watch any sports? All I'm saying is like just any kind of like that kind of violence. Violence. You don't like it. I just don't like it. What's up kids? Hey, listen, two out of three bros will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35.

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Even that's violent. Well, not these days. Football, I mean, even... So the only professional sport you watch is NBA? No, no, I watch... I like the NFL. I like basketball. And NFL's not too violent for you? No, because they at least have equipment on

Hypocrisy I know the hypocrisy I get it because you They really get messed up. She went to CT. Oh, there's tell me about but I do there's just something about a Mono e mono violence on each other. I but football's mono-e-mono but you're just looking at the grand yeah yeah yeah but the offense they get a break linebacker but then they just keep going it's three hours you know what i know i have to rethink it but this i just can't i just when especially ufc especially when it looks like they're like barely covering their knuckles it feels like like at least four-ounce gloves. It's crazy because when you watch boxing,

it feels like they're safer because they got that big-ass cheerleader. Which is insane because they're clubs, and they're 10-ounce gloves. And if you've ever seen Deontay Wilder's hand or Mike Tyson's, that 10-ounce glove is spread over their entire head. It's nothing, bro. It's nothing. It looks like it's more right but then when you look at uh ufc it just feels like how's that it feels like because you can

see their hands yeah so you don't think it's much but no no i think it's worse that's what i'm saying yeah it looks worse to me but according to like all you you sort of fight people ufc is safer than boxing way safer yeah and it's just like, that's the thing that blows my mind. So like, if you had to look at the violence level, if you look at the violence level, is it football, boxing, UFC? Which one of these three is more

violent? More dangerous to the human body? To the common fan? Yeah. Or just in real, like, what's the actual fact? Football! Concussions, man! Crazy! Yeah! Crazy. Football. Guys, in real, like, what's the actual fact? Oh, football. Football. Football. Concussions, man. Crazy. Yeah. Crazy.

Football. Guys 270 pounds, running 4-3-40s, running straight face first into each other and shit. It's barbaric. Yeah. I know. Gladiator shit. But then you have these, you know, two people in a ring that are, like, just looking to just beat each other.

I saw the clip of that fight, those two chicks fighting. Yeah. And like, she was, oh my God. And then after it was done, the other one hugged the other one. Two moms, bro. I was like, what are you guys doing? Nick, you bet on the fights?

Oh, yeah. You made money? My parlor is fucked. I started off hot with Taito Iwasa that Cody Garbrandt doesn't pour in. I went an unbelievable, well, I sent you the screenshot, which was like me chasing. Smart. Juliana Pena trying – if she won in third, fourth, or fifth, I was going to Sizzler.

It would have been a great day. But she won in the second. Sizzler? It's from White Man Ketchup. I say it all the time. But my actual picks that I put out and I let people see publicly, I went an unbelievable 0 for 8. Oh, that's hard to do.

If you would have parlayed the opposite of my picks, you would have been 0 for 8. Jesus Christ. Taito Iwasa, Dustin Poirier, Miranda Maverick. Well, Taito Iwasa won. Oh, I'm sorry. I had Augustus Sakai. Yeah, you fucked up. Yeah, it was bad.

This guy's got a related debate club. I think we know everybody's answers, but it'll bring up something else. Hey, guys, what's up? This is Asher calling out of Virginia. I was just driving down the road thanking a little bit today and have a debate club for you guys. I saw the Rat King sitting beside that beautiful man, David Spade, at the Poirier fight and just got to thanking.

You got to thanking? If you had to pick one, would you rather be sitting ringside with the Rat King and Spade or front row at that Yeezus Drake concert? That's a tough one. Is it? No. That's not tough one. Is it? That's not tough at all. UFC all the way. Oh, really?

I'd go Kanye. Yeah, me too. I don't want to sit with David Spade and Theo Brown. I'd go Kanye. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Kanye, Drake. Kanye hasn't performed in five years. Forget about that. I can go to UFC.

Forget about that. The question was, do you want to sit with Theo and David Spade? Take them out of it. Just talk about it. I want to go to UFC. I've never been. I've never been to UFC. Who wants to hang out with those two?

So let's take Dave and Theo out of it. Yeah, we got to take them out of it. So cage side UFC? Or Mike Tyson. If I was sitting next to Mike Tyson, that would be something special. Well, whoever. Let's just say cage side. You can pick whatever celebrity you want, Stevie, for God's sakes.

So let's say cage side UFC. I want to sit next to E. Honda from Street Fighter. He's like, cage side, Caitlyn Jenner. Yeah, whoever you want, Stevie. Don't you start with me this early. I used to love E. Honda. No. I just sit there and do this.

My brother's like, you're cheating. I would pick Kanye, Drake, front row all day. I don't like going to events. Have you been to a concert lately? It's not what it used to be. When's the last concert you went to? That's a good question.

The best concert I've ever seen is Drake in person. And then Drake and Kanye, two monsters. It was like a million seats. Did you go to a K-pop concert? No, you have the best seats in the house, Steve. Can you see Steve at a K-pop concert? Wait, hold up.

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fit and to the code K-A-T-S at sign up. That's joincrowdhealth.com slash fit promo code K-A-T-S. All right. CrowdHealth is not health insurance. It's a community powered alternative. Terms, conditions apply. I'm going to ask you something. What is the thing he tells me the most? Steve blank. Listen. What do you got? Is that Steve listen merch?

Steve, you're not listening. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's why he's asking for your catchphrase earlier. What are you getting at? So shout out to my man, Mel listening. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. That's why he's asking for your catchphrase earlier. You just kept buzzing him. So shout out to my man, Melody. That's yours. Yeah.

You wear it so I could just stare at you and know that I'm not listening. Shout out to Melody. In the episode, I'm going to go like this. Yeah, just do that every time. I feel like Steve should wear it. Hopefully you got a size smaller. No, no, no. That's his size, okay? Now I get it.

But I would love to go to... Why do I look so angry? Yeah, you look good. A concert's not what it used to be like. Like, let's say, back in the day, going to see Led Zeppelin. Dude. That's something special. You know what I mean?

You ever been to a Travis Scott concert? No. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Yeah, that's what you see. Head on a swivel, dude. Head on a swivel. Nike's laced to the mats.

Yeah, that doesn't look fun. Oh, I disagree. Like, gasping for air.ivel, dude. Head on a swivel. Nike's laced to the max. Yeah, that doesn't look fun. Oh, I disagree. Gasping for air. Well, I heard that the Kanye-Drake concert was more a Kanye concert than a Drake concert. That's what everybody's saying. And I love Drake. I love both of them. I do, too.

In my household, my brother's super pro-Kanye. I'm super Drake. I like both of them, right? Right. So for this, it was like, let's say it was a versus battle. And I actually have some background on this. So Kanye did, you forget his catalog. It's stupid.

How many albums? No, no. You could say. How many albums has he done? A million. So he did like his hits. And then Drake came out and just did his new stuff. And I was like, well, one's playing Hall of Fame hits.

The other's playing his new stuff. And I figured it out. Obviously, the people on Reddit figured it out. So Drake doesn't own his masters. And since that was on Amazon, he can't do his hits. He only owns his new stuff. So since it was on Amazon, that's why he did only his new shit. How do you do this stuff?

I don't know. That's crazy. That's terrible. Oh, because the concert was recorded. And streamed. Like, I watched it. I had FOMO for the first time in a long time. It was streamed live on Amazon.

Oh. Oh. Ew. But they're both, like, in person. So he got Taylor Swifted. He got Taylor Swifted. So are we talking front row seats? Like, where are the seats?

The best seats in the house. Best UFC seats. See, that changes it then. Best UFC seats in the house. Best concert seats. Okay, let's talk about what's the last concert that you actually have gone to? You didn't say. Because I know the last concert I went to.

Well, you. I'll think about it. You do your job. The last concert I went to was a Justin Bieber concert. Nice. And I was sitting in. And your girl forced you to go there. No, no, no.

I went because I know. You don't know John. The Nelk Boys. I know Nelk Boys. But you know John. The manager? Yeah, John Shishidi. Yes.

He used to be like, he used to work with Bieber. You know what I mean? He used to be like his handler type of thing, like his go-to guy for stuff. So I went to the concert because of him. You know what I mean? And I've met Bieber many times. But I was sitting like. All right, take it easy.

No, no, no. I was sitting like, Bieber's like right here. Yeah. You know? Dick all up in your face. Yeah, yeah. And it was like, you're just looking at everybody just going, we're in this like VIP sort of thing. And all those TikTokers are viewing it from the front like idiots. But you know dick all up in your face yeah yeah it was like you're just looking at everybody just going we're in this like vip sort of thing tiktokers are viewing it from the yeah like idiot but you know what was crazy at this at a time that he was going through some stuff because like i'm

looking at him you're sad panda dude like not even singing the song is he like this i would i would not sing in the song i'm telling you man he was just like that's not a concert they see their lip syncing then it was crazy he just wasn't he was going through when bieber's not a concert. See their lip syncing then. It was crazy. When Bieber's not going through something, he's a beast. You've seen him perform? Yes. What's going on here?

That's Bieber at the concert Eric went to. Who's that? The thing is, I got love for that kid because I think he's been famous for so long. Everything's under a microscope. How did he make it again? YouTube? I forgot he's been famous for so long. I know. He did things under a microscope. How did he make it again? YouTube? I forgot how it ended. Yeah, Usher found him on YouTube.

On YouTube. Usher found him on YouTube. Well, he found him because he's super talented. He's been talented since he was nine years old. He's stupid talented. No, but here's what happens. Here's what happens to someone like that. He's nine years old, and everybody tells him, you're great.

He's like, oh, man. No, I'm not great. I'm only nine. Then 10 years old, you're great. Then 11, you're great. About 14, he was like, oh, man. No, I'm not great. I'm only nine. Then 10 years old. You're great. Then 11. You're great. About 14, he was like, well, maybe. Then 15, he was like, am I great?

And then when he turned 18, he was like, I think I'm pretty great. And then everybody went, hold on, kid. Slow it down. And then they started to hate him. You feel bad for him. Yeah. And then he was lashing out into the public eye. And then he's trying to figure himself out.

I think he's figuring it out now. He figured it public guy and then he's like trying to figure himself out He figured out now he's like tattoos and shit. Is he on drugs? Is he doing drugs? He used to I think All the pixies that was the last concert Bieber got sober. He's good. He's good now a little bit. He got married. He's good. You know what I mean? They seem to be happy. So I'm a fan. Yeah me too I love Bieber But yeah And also Once the last guy

You probably went to Some like Godson Some stupid System of a gang Everybody's trying to Slam with you Slam with us

And see bodies Yeah And they don't know What a teddy bear you are You're like Hey guys What are you doing Man let's relax Not my thick boy merch i hate i hate crowded areas so i don't go to a lot of concerts i think

last concert i i mean probably drake and and uh fiddler's green in denver it's probably the last one man really yeah i i don't i see i'm you know i'm not and then also ufc obviously i'm biased i think people thought i'd say ufc the uf I fought it, and it was like, I have great memories in the UFC. But when I entered that arena, and I hear the crowd, and I see the cage, those smells, it triggers me to horrible anxiety. What do you mean smells? I can't even touch down in Vegas without being triggered. What does it smell like?

Can you describe the smell? It smells like fear. It smells like fear. Is it like just sweat? You know in Gliator when that guy's uh i just watched that movie i just watched gladiator that's what it feels like like russell crowe yeah yeah it's it's really really intense so for me it's really really intense is it the same way you get before it stand up how you get an adrenaline rush

no if for stand up i'm super excited i can't wait you're not nervous at all i'm nervous but i'm more excited because i can control the narrative so fighting i can't wait to get out there. So you're not nervous at all? I'm nervous, but I'm more excited because I can control the narrative. Fighting, I can't control. So fighting is a lot more scarier. You're like, oh, I might die. Not even close. Yeah.

Not even close. It's night and day. Now, my question is, how do you deal with that? How do you calm yourself down to get focused? You just trust in the process, like all the training camp you've been in. That's what I was about to say. Now, this is where it is similar because what he's saying is like you can't control it but you you get confident in your

skills because you've practiced so hard i know it's the best version of myself that enters that octagon and i put that trust it stand up same thing stand up you have to practice practice practice do it do it so you're confident when you get into the situation so like like when i shot my 30 minute special in Dallas, right? I wasn't – like I think my team – because my team shot it, right? We sold it. My team was like, man, I thought you'd be more nervous. I'm like, why?

Like I've been – this has been three years in the making, man. I know exactly what to hit. I know exactly what to do. I can control the narrative. When I shot my Showtime special, it's not – like I knew I wasn't ready. So I was so nervous because you know like you know when you shoot specials or if you're doing a tv get something you know if you're ready for it or not so you knew backstage you're like oh no this is for showtime

yeah yes you felt these feelings yeah a fear brian had to give me like this long talk and shit oh my god which is rare for me damn Damn. Were you shaking back? No, not shaking. Jesus Christ, dude. It's just a comedy special. Just saying. Shaking. I was shaking before I bought Travis Brown. I know Steve acts like it was like, you know, in Saving Private Ryan, like right before those things went down.

You know what I mean? Like we're storming Normandy or some shit. Yeah, he was like, it's the same thing. Here we go. I don't know though man i mean that's must be nerve-wracking man to the special like the walk to the octagon i always like try to put myself in their shoes no no that must be scary no the walks once you hit the crowd music and once you hit the crowd the music plays there's no turning back and it's just like here we go oh my the worst is waiting in the in the behind the the fucking drapes and

you and you're sitting there you hear the crowd you're like what the fuck am i doing and then his team's behind oh no you see him like yeah oh god yeah all right here we go yeah you know it's so intense dude what about a ride what's the most exciting when they announce your name and introducing on this corner you know like do you get excited when you do the face off and all that no it's very rare i get excited i was your walkout song yeah yeah uh eminem square dance oh cool people so do when you hold up one last question so when you're out there do you just black out no or or do you, do you just black out? No. Or do you, or do you just Steve just wakes up in the hospital.

After a UFC fight, Steve just wakes up in the traction. All you hear is doo-doo-doo. If I fought two of these guys. He's like,

blacked out, guys. Neck brace, did I win? I know, yeah. How did you know that I win? You know, both legs are broken.

You got an arm bar, you know. Nah, man, he threw you out of the cage, bro. First time ever. Or do you have a game plan? You're like, okay, I'm going to jab him. There's a game plan. He's got an arm bar. He's like, you know. He's like, no, man. He threw you out of the cage, bro. First time ever. Or do you have a game plan? You're like, okay, I'm going to jab him.

There's a game plan. I'm going to go circle, do a double leg, pin him to the face. Okay, but at what point, though, in the game plan, have you been in a fight where you were like, oh, this game plan ain't going to work? Yeah, my lap. The one after every time, I was like, oh, he's too big for this shit, man. No one thought this through. Yeah, you were like, oh, man. If you get hit with a big shot, does it rattle you and you see stars and you're like, oh, he's too big for this shit, man. No one thought this through. Yeah, you were like, oh, man.

If you get hit with a big shot, does it, like, rattle you and you see stars and you're like, oh, no. It doesn't hurt. It's just like a ringing. Oh, there's a real ringing. Yeah, and then a sense of like, oh, fuck. So, it's like. None of it hurts inside there. It's when you walk out, it fucking hurts.

Oh, my God. Because your adrenaline is so high. Like, you'll just hear a ring. You're like, I got clipped. God, dude. It's a weird game. Props to you, man. it fucking hurts. Because your adrenaline is so high. You'll just hear a ring and you're like, I got clipped. God, dude. It's a weird game. It pops to you, man. You did it. When you look back at your fights, and then look at it and be like, what was I doing?

Oh, dude. My son wanted to see him, so I was showing him fights. I went on Fight Pass and looked at all my fights and I was like, I don't even know that dude. What the fuck was he doing? What were you doing but then it triggers like my old sets like that yeah then it triggers memories like that week and what happened and like that training camp and it's crazy man that's insane yeah it's so strange

what a ride i blame uh brian callen for losing a ton of money on uh you during the andre alice arlovsky fight he went engaged but yeah he just had you so hyped up that that that camp yeah he did i believe brian but now now i know oh brian hypes everything yeah he's everything up yeah uh yeah that are lost giving stuff man it was a bummer well because we're training partners so when you know each other oh there's like this weird it's terrible when training partners fight because i knew what he was good at. He knew what I was good at. So we really didn't do that. So then you get this weird, awkward dance.

Oh, no. And then we're friends. So then, like, I could tell, like, when I was holding him against the cage, like, he was like, yeah, let's rest here. And then when he held me, I was like, yeah, let's chill here. You guys. I was just about to say. Wait, you guys talk? No, we don't talk.

Oh, man. So it's WWF. You ain't shit. No, you don't talk. You ain't shit. No, you don't talk, but you know, like, if a guy doesn't want to be against the cage. Oh, it's telep's WWF. You ain't shit. No, you don't talk. You ain't shit. No, you don't talk, but you know if a guy didn't want to be against the cage. Oh, it's telepathy. It's like telepathy.

No, they were holding each other. Come on, dude, chill. They're not slow dancing, motherfucker. Did you tell him? You're like, come on, man. What you doing? Come on, man. What the fuck are you doing, bro?

No, but this is telepathy. You know. But I definitely beat him. And then after he, in the locker room, came up to me and was like, I'll give you half my pay, man. You know what? I didn't win that fight what a good dude

you know what we need to do is we need to do a fight companion but watching his fights oh that'd be cool and then just talk about your fights what was happening

that'd be fun that'd be fun would it really be fun for you yeah yeah it'd be fun I got some stories especially like the Brazil

against Big Nog that's how we should do that set that up we'll do that. Set that up. We'll do that for sure. That's fun. I want to do that. Like when I was getting ready to fight Big Nog and I was like sleeping. I mean, that's a legend.

I'm in Brazil and I'm like, man, it smells like toxins in here. It smells like there's fumes in here. So Brazil, it's like fighting Michael Jordan in Chicago. So what Brazil did is they backed up the trucks into my green room. What? So all the fumes went into my green room. What? So I was like.

Disqualification. So I felt so sick. So sick. Dude, you hearing this, Nick? Disqualification. I'll write a letter. That's cheating. That's fucked up, man.

And then that too, I'll finish on this. Then we'll wrap up my fucking UFC story. We love it So then before the fight you fight no gear right and I was the favorite I supposed to knock his old ass out So he's a non like really known for this Soccer league in soccer huge in Brazil. Yeah, the these two Russian I'm sorry These two Brazilian gangsters set when I was at dinner just sat down full suit sat down Don't speak any English,

but my jujitsu coach is fluent in Portuguese. So he's talking to me, he's like, hey man, just so you know, these guys are like Brazilian mafia. And they want you, they have a jersey for you. And when you knock out Noguera, you put this jersey on, they're going to give you $80,000 cash. I'm like, yeah, say less, dude. Fuck yeah, I'll do that.

He's like, so they're're gonna come tonight before the fight then put the 80 grand of cash in the in the little locker That's in your hotel room, but only they know the code. So after you knock him out They're gonna call your room and give you the code like fuck. Yeah, this is dope. I lose the fight I'm back in my room my fucking eyes out to hear my whole family's around me knock on the door Doosh doosh doosh, it's time to come get money the fuck is that? Yeah's around me. Knock on the door. Douche, douche, douche. It's them to come get their money? My dad's like, who the fuck is that? Yeah. I was like, I don't know. Answer the door, dad.

Answer, it's those two fucking just muscle mafiosos. And they go, we're so sorry. And do, do, do, take the cash. Oh, my. And they go, but you can't keep the jersey. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Damn, that's like a movie, man.

Yeah. Oof. Holy smokes. I'll probably frame that jersey. Damn. You got to wear that to an episode. Yeah, I will. To the FICA paint.

My dad has it. I'll wear it to FICA paint. Speaking of upcoming episodes, send in Christmas-related submissions and end-of-year, New Year's-related submissions for the next two weeks. Yeah, send in worst gift you ever got for Christmas. Oh, I like that. Try and beat my gift. Or the worst gift you've ever given for Christmas.

Yeah. Yes. That's good. Should we do Secret Santa? Yeah. We've done it every year. We do a little white elephant. Oh, so next week we do...

Christmas. Secret Santa next? We'll do a white elephant. We'll talk about it after. It's usually a little jokey, cheap gift, and then we'll play a game. Oh, I already got mine. Thank you. Oh, that's not your gift, dude.

That would have been money, actually. You just ruined it. That would have been great, but now it's ruined. This guy's looking for some relationship advice, though. What's up, boys? Sammy J. back again. I need some relationship advice. A little barstool hat.

Girl of two months. Very cool. Get along. I respect her. Big problem drinking i'm talking like we pick up a bottle of tiger thick whiskey crash it have a good time then it's kind of like a different person at the end oh my fear it's like it just doesn't make sense it's only two months in what do i do run brother go ahead go Go ahead, Eric. Go ahead, Eric. Run, brother.

Right away, I say this. Oh, is he still going? Well, I say right away, follow your gut. Like, if you feel like something's up, and you don't feel like this is right. Two months in, though? No, no. I'm feeling like he already feels uncomfortable.

No, I'm with you. But two months in, it's time to fucking eject, bubba. No, no. Yeah, right eject bubba no yeah right to your year well that's what i'm saying like you already know you're not comfortable yeah this ain't right you know my first suggestion is to say something about it like do we have to drink all the time because she might be like this is what i do i i this is how i need to get turned up she might have a drinking problem right so i'm saying so you need to find out by just being up front and just being like, I have a problem with us drinking so much like this.

Yeah, I don't like who you become when you start drinking. Can we limit to like one or two drinks? Yeah, and if she's like, I don't want to do that, then you know,

you got to get out because it's only going to get worse. He's already uncomfortable. He already don't like it. Handsome dude, there's a billion fish in the sea.

But give her the chance though. I'm saying give the opportunity. I would talk to her, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Get your intentions, be out there. But if she the chance, though. I'm saying give the opportunity. I would talk to her, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Get your intentions. But if she's bad enough, I'll put her with some addiction. Yo, holidays are here, and the holidays can be hectic, but thank God for HelloFresh. They keep things simple with recipes that cut back on meal prep and cleanup so you can

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All right? Get better hydration right now. Use promo code KATS at liquidiv.com. So a couple weeks ago, it's been a while now, we had Alabama submit. She wanted to play the dating game. Ooh, she was bad. Yeah, let's see what's up with it. Yeah, so.

Roll Tide. I hate Alabama. I forgot which one the dating game. Ooh, she was bad. Yeah, let's see what's up with it. Yeah, so... Roll Tide. I hate Alabama. I forgot which one this one is. You'll remember. Ooh. I can't wait. She was the pretty blonde. We're gonna bring her up. Let's get it done, baby. We're gonna bring her up on Zoom and then look at some of her submissions. She's gonna pick three of them. Yeah, I love this.

You'll remember it. She had them houses. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. You don't remember? You don't remember? Like, super cute Ronda Rousey. Alabama? Yes. Is this live? Yes, I can hear you. Is this live, Stevie?

Okay. What's up, girl? How you doing? Good. How are you guys? We're chilling. We're good. A lot better now. It's real cock-festing here. Let's get you locked in. What was that? We're going to get you locked up with somebody.

Let's figure it out. All right. Fingers crossed. We'll see. How is the... Your hometown's where? Salem, Oregon. Ooh, okay.

So a lot of soy boys up there. So for you, it's... Yeah, yeah. Very low energy. Yeah. Yeah. Haunting. Yep up there. So for you, it's very low energy. Yeah. Haunting. Yep.

Democratic. So for you, how's the dating scene been lately before we get into this? Not that great. But I also haven't really been trying because like you said, they're all soy boys out here. But your guys' fans blew me up. I bet. You guys have some wild fans. Seven were my troll account. Yeah.

Like how, how do you, how do you normally date though? What's your normal, are you a dating app person or what do you normally do? Um, I've tried dating apps before and it's not bad. It's just not great. Um, so I guess that's the route that I take. Um, people in my hometown i'm kind of like over that they're everyone's like grew up here and it's still here so it's just not great um so i guess dating apps is basically what i do um because i'm not going

to run into someone at the grocery store you know no you never know if you're open to it i know have you have you been on a date from like someone dming you or anything like that like don't a lot of people meet on social media these days or no no um some people will like slide in your dams and stuff but not worth it um creeps no yeah they're creeps would you be some of them are nice but steve's got a question go ahead would you be open to dating um christian or kyle because i mean i'm open to dating Christian or Kyle? I mean, I'm open to dating anybody, I guess. Do you have a height requirement? Like, what's your style?

Yeah, because these dudes are studs here. Like, who's your celebrity crush? Just so we can kind of get a visual of what we're looking for here. Well, my celebrity crush is probably Ryan Reynolds because obviously he's hot. Yeah, mine too. And his personality. I love like humor. Yeah, but I guess, yeah. Yeah, but it's funny that you mentioned how he looks first. Well, mine too. And his personality. I love like comedian humor. Yeah, funny guys. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's funny that you mentioned how he looks first. Well, I got one more question. Are you open to dating ethnic guys? Yes. Yeah. Latinos? Sure. Yeah.

I don't discriminate. Yeah, I don't discriminate. Okay. Black guys? Are we into black guys? Indian guys? Sure. Yeah. Are you going gonna go through the whole i know right he's gonna be steve's still going samoa portuguese native american

just ignore all of them okay okay so is this guy live or he's just submitting? These are just some of her submissions. Alabama hasn't seen these, and she can't see them right now. She's only picking three guys based off what they say. Just their voice? Yeah. Alabama, are you a tall girl? I'm 5'5". Okay.

Okay. That's perfect. A little shorty. All right. All right. A little short queen. What? These guys are 5'4", 5'5", too.

Hey, Stevie? Hey, we get it? Yeah. We get it? Let's get to the guys. We're trying to find some real love here. Let's get to the profile. Sorry, sorry.

I'll shove my mom. Steve, Steve, Steve. Shove him the shirt. All right. Hit it, Nick. What's up, guys? This is my submission video for Bama Gillette's fine ass. Yep.

What a fucking name, by the way. Okay. My name's Derek Mann, 6'3", 200. Perfect amount of man for her. All right. I'm a funny,

outgoing type of guy. Low energy. I like all that outdoor stuff, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, I like that she included about being able

to give each other shit because what's a relationship without a little roasting going on? I am from the East Coast. I'm from New York, Pennsylvania. Ooh, too far.

I will absolutely come across the states for that West Coast hitter, baby. So, I'll let you boy. I think you might got something. He's a little too cool for school for my weekend. What do you mean? What do you mean by that? And, like, his eyebrow is, like, four inches away from his eye. So, it's a little weird for me.

And they're separated very far. Like, his eyebrows. I don't like things like this though. His eyebrows are like a hairline. They're just high as hell. Dude, time stamp that. That's called shaming. He's shaming him, dude. Time stamp that. He's shaming him, dude.

Eric has a point. That's not right, dude. Whatever you're doing is not right. I don't like how cool he was for school. You know what I'm saying? He's like this the whole time. What's up with your fine ass? What's up with your fine ass? What's up with your fine ass? I'll fly all the way out. He came to lose his drop.

Brandon, he's confident. He's confident. All right, let's see the next guy. Let's see the other guy. This guy looks friendly as shit. I already kind of like him. How you doing, Alabama? My name is Peter.

31 years old. From Albany, Oregon. 20 minutes away from where you are. Ooh. A little bit about me. I'm the youngest of six in my family. So I know what it's like to be shit on. Been 12, I was adopted my whole life.

Okay. My mom tells me I'm adopted. There's going to be some issues there. She found me on the side of the road. They picked me up. Said I have a fortune cookie at an Asian restaurant. So they gave me away. You know, all this shit, you know.

So I know how to give shit back. I love spending time with my family, my friends, you know. No girls never really give me the opportunity to take them out you know I've been rejected my whole life what's the diamond in the rough

Alabama's the diamond in the rough that diamond's rough but I think there's some potential there's something going on there this is you if you let yourself go yeah like if you want a desert deserted island for like

for like two years yeah desert yeah a deserted island for, like, two years. Yeah. Desert. Yeah. Dude, I don't know. A deserted island if there's just donuts. This guy is being so mean. I'm like, whatever he's doing, he's being so mean to these guys.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, hold on. Didn't he just say he knows how to roast? Yeah, yes. I know. I kid. Oh, okay. He looks Korean or Chinese.

I like him better than the first guy. He looks like he's half. He's half Asian. He's half Asian. He's half Korean. I like him better than the first guy. He seems nice. Give him a shot. No, this guy is nice.

That's what we're talking about. Give him a shot. Here's my problem, Nick, with all this. What? Like Alabama's a straight smoke show, bro. You got this. Oh, no. Get some Christian Bales lined up.

What's your deal? Wait, can I tell you something right now? Hold on a second. Hold on a second. It's a four. They're shaming all the contestants. Steve, what he just said is worse than anything I said. No.

Okay, your whole tone was just like, man. I'm trying to help out right now. Here we go. This guy looks handsome. This one's all right, right? Nothing? Let's hear him out. Let's see what he says. Let's hear him out. Let's see what he says.

Let's hear him out. You guys are scaring me. I'm sorry, Alabama. No, you're good. You're good, Alabama. I'm trying to look out for you, though. I appreciate it. His eyebrows are at least a normal length.

Here we go with this guy. A normal distance. He talks kind of quiet. What's up, bro? Just kidding. I'm not like that. So my name's Nicholas. I'm 25 years old.

I also live in Salem, Oregon. And what made me interested was a lot of things that you said I can relate to as well. I like to travel. My sense of humor is really sarcastic and there's no bounds. We both seem to have a good sense of humor since we both listen and watch the same podcast. trying to brag but my fantasy football team multiple scoregasms is number one in my league right now i'm six foot five six four and three quarters but six five sounds a lot better um i work in youth development working with kids my passion and being a positive role model to them like what i had growing up okay and i'm sorry i keep looking at my notes i just want to make sure i'm on track i'll be honest and show you what it says don't talk about boobs he's my favorite I told you yeah he's cool yeah he's cool

he could have dressed up you saw the t-shirt and you were like come on man yeah I was like come on man alright here we go we got a blue collar fella

here what up Brendan what up Theo shout out to Bama this is Vinny out of Charlotte North Carolina I'm a 32 year old single dad

I work for Caterpillar during the day and I'm a bouncer at night like Bama I'm sick of dating life and no commitments from anybody I'm looking for something serious I can take to the next level I come from a big Italian family

real down to earth loud people and I'm interested in that fancy face you got. This is Christian. So if you're interested, holler at me. Gang, gang. Back hoe. Oh.

I'll tell you why I don't like him off the top. Why? He didn't say hi to me or Steve. So bye. He's got to go. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. Bye, Felicia. And I didn't like

his poofy hair. He's a solid dude. He's a blue-collar dude, though. Yeah. Alabama, you interested in being a stepmom, though? I have dated guys with kids, so I'm not opposed.

Okay. All right. That's an ideal breaker. Good to know. Okay, we'll watch two more and she can then pick this guy gives a very unabomber vibe well wait hold on one second hold on we got to ask her one question are you into fate are you into facial hair yes it just i mean is it like a full

If Drake's beards over here duck dining sees over here he's more over here This guy looks like he smells like hemp, okay? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no. It looks like he put his finger in an electric socket. Hey, let him talk. Give him a chance. Let him talk. Give him a chance.

He might be a real good person, though. Man, we're monsters. We are monsters. Give him a chance. I'll be submitting a video on here, man. You got to go ahead. You got to know what you're signing up for. Give him a chance, man. She's like, oh, shit.

Everybody's talking. This is Patrick. Hello,abama my name is patrick i currently live in windy wyoming i turned 31 in march i know a few years older than you um i was at work listening to the podcast and when i heard your voice my heart immediately started to melt when i got home i put it on YouTube and come to find out, you were flat out gorgeous. I'm sure you will have a plethora of suitors and a copious amount of

keepin' tight, bein' your night in shining armor, which makes sense. But I thought I'd send this audition or resume in anyways. I love the outdoors. I love sports. You know what? I like the guy. I love the outdoors. I love sports. I just wish he didn't look like that. I absolutely love music.

I wish you'd shave the beard. I love to laugh, and I love to attempt to make people laugh. I have a huge heart, and I'm an old-school, helpless romantic. Yeah, I like this guy. You know what? He's my favorite. I know. You know what it is?

He's articulate. He's articulate. This guy's my favorite. He's articulate. And he's also like he has sweet eyes yeah yeah he said that he approached it he was very respectful but you know I don't know maybe you shaved that beard before the date he would witness protection okay this guy's pretty dimey oh we got competition here except for that Except for that shirt. But go on, let's see.

This is Dylan. But yeah, like that other guy. I mean, the beard's temporary. Like, he's living the single life. He's just letting it go. I'm sure he'd shave for Alabama. Maybe it's like a COVID beard thing, you know? Yeah.

What would be more romantic than him setting a bag of his hair? A bag of his beard. Yeah, that'd be cool. Let's see what this guy has. King of the Sting, what up? Eric and Stevie. Thank you. Like him. Brendan, you know, my heart? Eric and Stevie. Thank you. Like him. Brendan.

You know, my heart goes out to Theo Vaughn. I hope he recovers soon, you know. I heard he got bit by a gay dude, so we'll see. Anyway. We'll see. I'm sending this in, man. I need to be linked up with Alabama. You know what I'm saying?

That's energy by far. I live out here, Summit County, Colorado. It's pretty tough, dog, you know, especially for a hardworking man. I'm a welder, full-time, you know. You can see with the high-vis green. That makes sense. But the thing is, we got a saying here in Summit County, you didn't lose your girlfriend, you just lost your turn.

Anyway, I'm looking for the real deal. I want the white picket fence the white kids everything dog so you know please consider me um for alabama and as far as mortgage goes girl real estate up here we're talking veil keystone breckenridge aspen you know you'll be making that big bucks i'll be barely contributing you know what i'd be making that big bucks. I'll be barely contributing, you know what I mean? Not really, though. Just saying, Welders, we know how to do it big. So, anyway,

consider me, guys. Dylan, out here in Summit County, Colorado. Colorado boys is the best. I like him, too. No, no, he's by this, too. Confident. I like that. But not cocky. But not too cocky. He also said, like, hey, I want you to move here withident. I like that. But not cocky. But not too cocky. He also said like, hey, I want you to move here with me.

Yeah. Which is, and he presented it like, yo, you could sell houses here. I like that guy. He was cool. I like that guy. I liked him too. Definitely the best look in Alabama. Last one of the six.

Thank you. All right. What up, King and the Sting? It's your boy Grayson coming at you from Austin, Texas. Right now I'm learning how to be a professional chef. Rat the toolie. But before that, I used to live in Salem, Oregon. So this is for Alabama. I used to work at Starbucks, and I actually used to make you coffee.

I don't forget that name. So hopefully now I can make you dinner. Don't forget that name. So hopefully now I can make you dinner. Maybe it's food. So why date me? I am adventurous. I'm funny. I can roast the shit out of you. And I already know

your coffee order. Maybe we can have a nice night in. Some pasta. Maybe some wine. If you're interested, I'm your man. Let me know. See, they're getting better. You know what? The last three.

This guy's good. I like the last three. This guy's good. Can we see all the pictures again? So we can get like... You remember the first three. This was Derek. Eyebrows gotta go.

Eyebrows. Ow. I'm not gonna do that to Alabama. Peter. He would treat her like a fucking queen But he's really outkicking his coverage Here's Nicholas He was good

Nicholas is cool He didn't say hi to us I don't like too much hair product For a blue collar guy Patrick Great heart He's a good guy Good submissions And Dylan Dylan's by far my favorite and

then the chef and the chef quality to any summer hometown the last two so three guys you want to so if it was me it'd be this guy dylan and the last guy the last guy yeah the last guy beard boy's out? Yeah. I don't think she's going to go for that. Yeah. I don't either. So what do you think, Alabama? Which three?

I think the last three, too. Yeah. For sure. I want to know if the guy knows my coffee order still. Me, too. Me, too. Because I was like, well, tell us what it was, dude. Yeah.

How do we find that out? All right. We're bringing him in. Oh, shit. We're talking right now. I guarantee you he doesn't know it. But still, it was, dude. How do we find that out? All right, we're bringing him in. Oh, shit, we're talking right now. I guarantee you he doesn't know it, but still, it was a sweet gesture. Let's see. Oh, he's doing work. Oh, yeah, he's...

Oh, I love it. He's mid-welding. I like it. That would have been cool if he was like... Is this live, Nick? This is live, Doug. Oh, damn. What up, fellas? What up? What's up, Nick? This is live, dawg. Oh, damn. What up, fellas?

What up? What's up, dawg? Colorado represent, homie. How's Colorado, buddy? It's cold, bro. We just got another foot last Friday. Oof. Measuring up for ski season.

I'm in Keystone right now. Love Keystone. Yes, sir. I think I'm in the bottom right. Was he, sir. Yeah, that's ZZ Top. Does she see them? Yeah, she can see them now. So, Bama, you can see them? I can see when they talk, yeah.

Okay. Are you on a laptop or a cell phone? Cell phone. There might be something where you press gallery view and then you can see everyone. Yeah, you need to see gallery view. The gallery. Oh.

Hold on. All right. So we'll talk to these guys one at a time. Ask them questions. Welcome, Dylan, Patrick, and Vinny. Dylan, Patrick, and Vinny. Here we go. What's good?

What's up, fella? How you doing, man? How's Austin treating you? Good. Oh, man? How's Austin treating you? Good. Oh, man, it's so much fun. Okay. All right. I don't know where to go with that.

Do we have specific questions we want to ask him, like dating, dating? Yeah. Alabama, you want to fire off the first question? Yeah, what do you want to do? We'll take it from there. Sure. Go around the horse. Yeah, yeah.

One question for each. Okay, my first question is for grayson do you remember my coffee order i'm very curious it was like uh it was like uh okay i don't know i didn't expect you to yeah yeah okay oh shit? Yeah. Oh, shit. He got it? He didn't get it? Yeah, he got it. He said cold brew. There you go.

Well done. That's not a good. I don't. Yeah. Because he could have said a macchiato. You know what I mean? To Phil, Vinny, and Patrick in, or Dylan and Patrick in, he used to be her barista before he moved to Austin.

In her hometown before he moved to Austin. But she doesn't. Apparently. No. I remember. And he's now a chef. be her barista uh before he moved in her hometown before he moved to austin apparently no i remember and he's now a chef man tight move all right all right next to alabama um dylan are you opposed to moving to oregon because you didn't mention moving to colorado yeah i just got back to Colorado. I lived here for six years, and then I had to take care of some family stuff in Florida. I was there for two years, and I literally just moved back on October 1st to Colorado. So your boy signed that one-year lease. It's tied down for a year yeah all right so no hard pass right now but we'll figure it out it's relatively close i mean that's your favorite

see brandon's favorite i got a minus one already yep got it yeah it's tough hey dia is a big airport bro patrick i have a serious question and don't take this the wrong way ask it would you ever get rid of the beard? ah, yeah definitely this was only really for a character so yeah, this is new to me oh, were you playing Charles Manson? yeah

that's true or are you preparing to be Jesus in a Christmas play? which one? were you playing Charles Mans Jesus in a Christmas play? Which one? You know what I mean? Are you playing Charles Manson on Mindhunters? Yeah. I love it.

No, it looks good, though, dude. I like that fucking sweater, too, though, man. It's cute. Right? Holiday special. Yeah, of course. Honestly, this is only about two and a half, well, a year and a half, to be honest with you. Oh, that's a long time.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, so this is new to me so of course all right fellas go around the horn what was the last date you went on how to go what'd you do let's start with dylan go ahead so the last date i went on uh so like the cool bars are up in round rock so like that's like the real cowboy bars. It's not like hipster in Austin. Like 6th Street you're talking about? Yeah. Outside there.

From Dirty 6th. You got to go up north where it's the real bars. I ended up just getting too drunk and I had to call an Uber. You're trying to sell yourself, man. Well, he's just saying his last date. Did you throw up? He's terrible on a date. That's what we know now.

No, no. I didn't puke, though. I didn't puke. You just got too hammered. Probably nervous. It's a win. Yeah. Yeah.

And then where did you meet that date at? Was it a dating app? We're talking about Instagram, sending those DMs. Oh, no. I just walked up to her. I saw her at the mall. I was like, hey. Oh, I like that.

Very 1990s. I dig it. Very old school. It works. Very old school. Yeah. I'm with it. All right, fellas. Very 1990s. I dig it. Very old school. I'm with it. Alright, fellas. What was your last date? The other two?

First of all, my last date was a situation where I had met her at the bar that I work at. We went to this place in Los Angeles that is a record listening party, basically, and it's a shared experience. And this DJ, different DJs show up each week.

Sounds nice. And so we sat and listened to this DJ perform all these different songs that really inspired him. And that was a fantastic evening listening to all those songs. And we popped over to Griffith Park. i know it

sounds a little cheesy but we laid out a blanket and look watch the stars and this was the first time in a long time anything like that happened but it was uh it worked well and then and then often it worked too well what happened you guys aren't dating anymore yeah they wrapped up the night by killing sharon tate to be honest with you I'm not even gonna lie um she was in an open relationship and uh it after uh we had a few experiences basically um she went back to her uh full-on relationship because uh she didn't want to break the happy home so to speak makes sense so you were a side piece exactly i was totally a side piece i know i didn't i don't know if i felt so comfortable about it but honest to god the whole date of it all like the i mean yeah music is great so uh something like that is phenomenal

and um yeah it was it was nice now let me ask you this we spoke about the outdoors yeah were you guys uh doing drugs when you're laying on your backs and watching the stars no no uh that's a shame nice um yeah no uh shoot we were drinking actually a little bit at the record party but uh no drugs that's a nice date my man you take me out yeah yeah dylan what do you got bud so i was actually uh i was at the show uh that joe rogan caught covet at in tampa um i i had a a friend of mine um we went and saw him and tony hinchcliffe and laura bites um and it really wasn't her cup of tea. And she was actually a couple of years younger than me as well.

I'm 28. She was like 23, 24. That's tough. Kind of spent the whole night drinking and partying. And, you know, I wanted to hear, you know, the new hours and stuff. So we just left it as friends, you know, kind of that one, one of those deals, but Joe put on a great show. That's a good date though.

It's a good date. She just doesn't appreciate it. All right, Alabama. It's a, it's a cruel world. Eliminate one. And then we'll ask the last two, a couple more questions. I like it. All three of them.

This is hard. I'm sorry, guys. I'm going to eliminate Patrick. Sorry, Patrick. Cheers. Merry Christmas, everyone. You're a catch, man.

Keep doing those sick dates, man. Keep doing the goddamn thing. You got great energy. Yeah, hope you get the role, man. Good luck. Yeah, mad respect. Yeah, no, we got it. But maybe next time, don't do the sweater and beard. Just pick one. I dig it. I thought it was festive and it worked for the

occasion, you know, so yeah. Don't let Eric bring you down, man. That looks fly. Me? Yeah, you motherfucker. Can we replay the things you were saying the first time? I said it looks like Charles Manson. Bye-bye, job. yeah you motherfucker i say can we can we replay the things you were saying okay alabama do you have a question loaded for these two another one oh gosh i don't know um i don't i can't think of anything let me help ready to go with questions let me help you out alabama fellas what's the longest relationship you've been in?

I'll take it. I was in a very serious relationship for about two and a half years. And we just realized we wanted different things, especially geographically. I wanted to be up in the mountains and she ended up just down in Denver. So, you know, to each his own, still friends, but about two and a half years longest. And you guys, you guys broke up because of location issues? Really where we wanted to be located. We lived together up in the mountains and she was over it. She was originally, she's a California girl, man. She did not take well to I-70 in the snow.

It's fair. I-70 is a nightmare. This is a question for both of the guys. What would you do to impress Alabama's parents? Oh, God. Good luck. Oh, wow. Here's what would happen we would go

to your parents house right and then I would bring um some homemade what do they like to eat what do you like to eat um I like basically anything Italian Mexican food is like my favorite yeah

sushi we're making we can't. Yeah. We're making, we can't make sushi, but we're making carbonara. That's not good. We'll do that. Okay. We'll cook. I'll cook for them and you,

and then we'll have the wine and we'll wine and dine them. That could work. Nice. Yeah. Sounds like a nice night. That's what I got for me. I'm a i'm a outdoorsy type of guy you know i got i have two dogs um i i live right by a bunch of trailheads like i think you know maybe meeting your folks out somewhere um you know doing a really mellow hike um yeah even

just meeting them at like one of the downtowns in one of the villages breck go for uh you know a flight of beer at the breck brewery or um you know take a wine tour something like that where you know it's not totally focused on us but we're able to kind of mix and mingle get the folks in there other people are there having a good time so again it's the alabama coming to you my man it's the family in alabama coming to you my man he wants to take her parents on a beer crawl you know what my mom would absolutely really love that that does sound lit what else you got nick i i think that's it i think alab can choose her man, and then we'll see if they connect. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I think you both are great. Yeah, two catches. I love everything about both of you so far. I think I'd like to get to know Dylan a little bit better for sure. You seem really cool with the outdoorsness and the fact that you have two dogs. I have a dog. So people who understand how dogs are, perfect.

If you have the patience for a puppy, that um people who understand how dogs are perfect you have the patience for a puppy that's that's what i need so yeah awesome well congrats you were great grace we'll fight zone for you man and good luck with the chef stuff man keep going with that hey thanks boys yeah good luck brother all right we'll connect you two off air thanks everybody yeah it doesn't alabama you killed it hopefully this helped uh if you have any problems reach out yeah yeah but we'll do roughneck justin timberlake right here is gonna be all right yeah appreciate you guys man thanks for playing gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz lover birds take care gang gang love love all love. All right.

I don't think that's going to work out. Why? Well, he doesn't want to move. Well, everything was like, you'd fly out here, seven-hour road trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd go on a beer crawl. Your parents would fly their fucking asses from Eugene, Oregon. And then the guy with the beard's tough, man.

It's a certain style. It's like that hipster Charles Manson, the family vibe. You know what I'm saying? It's a real particular taste. Yeah, but he was artsier than the other ones he was cool he's more cultured than those other yeah for sure yeah he's going to audition oh yeah and she picked that one guy straight off looks yeah because there was no reason to pick that guy he basically said i'm not moving i'm not moving. He said, I'm not moving. Your ass is moving here.

Even your parents got to come here. Yeah, he lives in Summit. The other guy knows your coffee order. I'm from Colorado. That's a beast, man. You live in the mountains. But you know what? They'll probably smash and then they'll take her down.

I don't think so. I don't think they ever see each other. I think she digs that, though, because he's just straight up. He's being honest. He's being real. I think she digs that. Yeah, I think she'll go. They they'll see each other what gives you that impression remember i studied this question he already first of all he already knows she already knows too

he he just said in the thing i don't do long distance you know what i mean he's very up front that's attractive that's very attractive like yeah bitch you have to sell your shit, move out of here. She likes the way you look, son. Just say it. Of course, that's the number one thing. That was the main thing. Yeah, the number one thing. I don't know how long.

We're just going to pretend looks don't matter. You know what I'm saying? We're not saying that. No, I'm just saying. If you want to pretend. She doesn't want to seem shallow like that. So what's going to happen? Are they going to hook up?

Yeah, my wife wouldn't be there if she looked like a warlock. It'll just go by the wayside. So what do you guys do? Well, we did. But remember the girl Chinwala on date with the big titties? She actually got married. With the big titties. But what happened to the other one?

Remember the one that was like, she was like mixed race? Oh, yeah, she got murdered. It didn't work out with her. She said the guys were flaky. Honestly, she sounded like she was a little hard to deal with she wasn't happy with high maintenance

she wasn't happy with anything I don't know but I mean there it is she doesn't have to timestamp that timestamp that yeah

no we we're on the newest episode of First 48 we can't be honest on this show it's tough man I really like this segment though you should keep doing it I like it

I think it's really fun yeah we just for once we gotta find three girls yeah we gotta find some girls I really like this segment, though. You should keep doing it. I like it. I think it's really fun. Yeah. For once, we got to find three girls. Yeah. We got to find some girls for one of our guys. Because Alabama's a dime piece. We have all these dime pieces, and then it's like two good-looking guys.

The rest are fucking warlocks. You know, it's tough for the girls. Okay. I think it'll help if we have really desirable guys. So if you're a guy who wants to play a dating game with and see a bunch of suitors, send in your resume, what you do, why you should be dating should be bro you know who we could hook up on here is mark harley yeah that would be single he's recently single and girls fucking oh he's a beast we would and if he put out hey submit to king of the sting yeah dime all right, don't submit. We have our – Yeah, dude. Mark's 100% submit. We're going to still do this.

We'll still submit. But no, Mark Harley's – That'd be crazy. And we should also try to let people know, like, hey, they're from this place, so shout out to that place. Like, she's from where? She's from Oregon? Yeah.

It should have been like, hey, Oregon people. You know what I mean? She says where she's from, and we only get so many submissions. Yeah, that's true. We'll get stuff. But, yeah, I don't know. I agree. It's fun.

Mark would be great, though. Oh, yeah. We'll close out with a couple of King of the Stingets. Oh, shit. Yo, Choppa here from Laredo, Texas. Strip clubs. King of the Stingets. I mean, big kings.

What are we talking about here, dude? All the way. I feel like Eric doesn't like them. No. He's like, I don't like the violence. I don't like their ass shake up and down. I just don't. I've never liked strip clubs.

You ever been to a good strip club, though? Yes. Like which one? What the hell is wrong with you? You've never been to Magic City in Atlanta? What? No, I have not been to Magic City. I don't like strip clubs

because I feel like I've become Eric Savo because I'm like why are you here you know what I mean I am too but I am too and I'm like

what you doing here girl what happened when they're like my name's Cinnamon I'm like sit down what's your real name let's quit playing this bullshit when I went to strip clubs

I always end up gravitated towards like there's always like a bartender who's not a stripper and she's like you can tell she's got contempt for the stripper and that's the one i'm like you become a therapist yeah yeah i just like i can't i can't get into it stevie i feel like you spend all your cash

well i haven't in many years um but when you used to go i bet it was lit as fuck well i went to the ones around my neighborhood because i don't have a car so i'd walk to the one on la brea sure um but i'd always, you know, the bad thing about it, well, it's blue balls. You get blue balls because, you know, you're there. Not if you're playing the right game.

Well, I don't know how to play that game. Yeah, all right. So, yeah. Okay, all right. No one's been to a strip club in Vegas? Watch what you're about to say, man. Steve went so many times, he was like Norm from Cheers.

Yeah. When he walked in, they were like, Steve! They're like just the usual I mean I have a terrible strip club story but I'll tell another time I'd love to hear it yeah no we want to hear that's better than the submissions we have left well I knew this girl she used to come by the comedy store too and she was like

this like ex playmate whatever it is right so she um and this was way before i was single as hell sure and she was like um she was like oh i'm in vegas i was in vegas doing shows and she's like randomly hit me up like come to experiment rhino you know and it's been a baddie though yeah she sent me a picture of herself and her friend that was there say less girl you know what i mean i was like all right let me go so i get there and i go so here's the first thing i get to the i'm so inexperienced with this i get to the door and i'm like okay so like whatever her stripper name was i forgot it at this time let's say it was cinnamon i'd be like yeah they're like we don't know whatever you still got to pay to get in yeah i'm thinking my name's at the door there's no will

called yeah yeah yeah yeah so then i walk in and then like immediately immediately you get like harassed now if you're like a nice guy they take advantage they take advantage it's a feeding friend you know why because they know you're not supposed to be in there so they really going after you yeah you know so then you know it's like a used car salesman type you look like the dad that walked in looking for his daughter you know what i mean it was like yo yo yo and so then i see them and i I'm like, god damn, they're looking dope. Then they want to get drinks. I go, let's get some.

All right, I go, but I don't drink. Are you by yourself at this time? I'm by myself. What a gangster. Yeah, so I'm like, all right, you want to? Okay, let's get drinks. I get to the bar, and they order what they order. Then the bartender looks at me.

He's like, yeah, it's going to be $60. I'm like, what? Hell yeah, dog. So I'm like, okay. And then it was like, they they just walking me around and then they go hey let's go to this one room the boom boom room let's go to this room so we go in the room you know and but it was like a hundred dollars each oh yeah per dance you know and I'm like okay but stuff was happening that probably don't normally happen sure oh it does but carry

on okay whatever you're special yeah yeah they were they were that makes you feel good yeah yeah and then we walk around someone they go we should go to this other room yes upstairs i feel like though we just went in a circle and went back into the same room they thought you were you know what i mean i'm like bitch is that my jacket so we in the same room so now it's two long story short i'm out a thousand dollars i'm out a thousand dollars and i'm like i i when i walked out of the street you think about what you're making that weekend i was like what just did i just get taken by somebody that hustled claimed to be my friend yeah oh yeah never talk to that bitch again no never you know and i was like why would you like you're just like okay that's how you want to be that's how they roll man oh man just the monsters a mile

away like yeah she like you know dude yeah i was like what what am i doing like what am i doing in here you know what i mean they ate you alive yeah i didn't even i didn't even finish you know what i'm saying i got myself to the point because i was doing all kinds of stuff hard back in that motel six i'm not just angry at that point just looking at my wallet like did i just spend a I got myself to the point because I was doing all kinds of stuff. Yeah, you jumped off hard back in that Motel 6. I'm not just angry at that point. Just looking at my wallet like, did I just spend $1,000? For nothing. For nothing.

You got nothing. You got nothing. See, you know, and then the reason, like you go to a strip club, I guess, because you think like, well, I don't want to. Whatever the rationale is, it would have been easier if I would have just said to her, just come to my hotel and I'll give you $500. Yeah. More than $500, but'll get you $500. Yeah. More than $500, but yeah.

I'm saying, why go through all that rigmarole? Yep. Why go through this pretending like you're interested and say, here's $500, just come to my hotel. Right? But you don't want to do that because it feels slimier. No, you can. It feels slimier. Yeah, you can.

You still go, how much bacon? And like, let's get the fuck out of here. It, you can. It feels slimier. Yeah, you can. You still only go, how much bacon? Let's get the fuck out of here. It's two grand. I've heard of people doing that. Have you? Have you heard? Now the same way Brenda gets triggered by the smell of UFC fights. You're just sure?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. You go like, I can't trust none of y'all. I think your Tommy Bahama shirt gave it away when you walked in. You feel me? When he was butting up, they're like. You got that dad energy. I did.

Yeah. No, the energy I had, they probably said, he probably got a family. He ain't supposed to be in here. 100%. Get him. Exactly. It's like you're chumming the water. You know, the people that.

These sharks come out with big tits. The people that survive in strip clubs are probably super asshole guys. Because they know. Or you know the game. They're in there like, nah, nah, nah. Or you know the game. Or you know the game. But yeah, you got to be an asshole to them.

Put this quarter in your butthole. Or the worst is when you get there and the worst looking stripper approaches you first. Like, come on, bitch. Come on. You're fucking up the game. Dude, I was in Kansas City. And what's the Stanford and Sons? The guy died that owns the club.

Okay. But he was a maniac. He took me to a strip club. The strip club was so terrible. I was the big attraction in the strip club. That's how bad the strippers were. Yeah, the strippers can't be good. Yeah, yeah.

In Kansas City? Because I'm sitting there, and everybody's like, oh shit, what's up workaholics? And the stripper was, you know, and everybody's still you know what I mean, but her C-section scar was like, you know what I mean? It's like, when I'm the attraction and the strip club. Butterfly tattoo on her back? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All the tattoos are saggy because, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a nightmare. Let's do a field trip King of the Sting strip club night. I'm down. Nick would go dead broke in that bitch. I'm a little bit more like Eric. I never lost it, but that's always been my perception.

They're just taking me. But as a group, it's fun. He'll be in there doing bets. Let's make it a field trip. Doing parlay bets. Who's got the biggest titties? The wet one or this one? No, Nick's the guy where we're all as a crew and they're like,

where the fuck's Nick? And he's in the fucking private room. Doesn't know they took his credit card. Nine dances later, he's like, 17 grand. Yeah, it's a waste of time. Well, they ain't getting that. No. Yeah.

He already called the company. Like, hey, you put a stop on this. It's fraudulent charges. Then you basically get one, you know? Then you bring Christian and Kyle in there. They find the one fat bitch. Talking about getting married and shit. Christian like, nah, man.

She good. The short kings find their big queen. Yeah, that'd be lit. Oh, wow. You guys just double team on her? That's all we got. They're like big girls? That's it, man.

Hey, Hollywood Improv, December 22nd. That's next Wednesday. You will be there and some other hilarious people. One night only, one show, 8 p.m., Hollywood Improv. All right, there and some other hilarious people. One night only. One show. 8 p.m. Hollywood Improv. Get your tickets now because it's only one show. That bitch is selling out. And then December 30th through January 1st, I'm in

Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Danny of Florida, bringing the New Years with your thick friend here and the crew, Chappelle Lacey and David Lucas. And then in January, I'm in North Carolina twice. I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina and then in January, I'm in North Carolina twice. I'm in Raleigh, North Carolina, and then also Charlotte, North Carolina. So get your tickets right now, fam. Yeah, I don't got a lot.

Well, I got some other stuff, but I'm in Arizona this weekend. So I'm at Stand Up Live this weekend. And actually, I just added on a show on the 16th at that other club they have in Arizona now. In Scottsdale? This airs on the 16th. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, well, that doesn't matter anyway. So come tomorrow to Stand Up Live. Yep. Me and Jeremiah are going to be at Soul Joel's January 8th doing a Scissor Bros live podcast. I also, can I plug my music, which is one of my albums? I have a new music project on Spotify. Oh, damn. So type in Q-U-A-N-G-O-U.

The album is called I Feel Stir Crazy. So check it out. Is it like punk rock? Or what are you talking about? No, it's just like underground rap stuff. Oh, you're rapping? I did all the production as well. Can we play a sample of it?

If you want. Yeah, we'll go out. We'll go out. If you want. Hit it, Nick. Yeah. He's got a good song about his dad. Oh Yeah, you can play this is this you singing oh, that's a sample

What's the best song to play on here Stevie I like this one. I think I'm on a good track. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like it. Yeah, all my albums sound like this. Yeah, sounds like it. All my albums sound like this. You son of a gun. Did you do it in the aquarium? Yeah. I thought it was in court.

No, he does it in his bathroom and the AC is on. Soul Joles. Go get Stevie's music. down at Pallway. Now he only pinning boys in the hallway. This ain't the greatest show on earth and what you call that? Eric Griffin with him. He the Nate Dogger podcast. Yeah, the whole crew sick. It's the king and the stink. What up, Jim? What up, Nick? Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin just walked in and got it lit. You can't forget about Brendan. still need everything Thick, thick, thick Still got the B's in the trap trapping Still the king in the sting, so quit asking If you know, then you know, it's a cat's thing

Ball and chain, hair swang like the rat king King in the sting, back with the crew We got Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, Brendan, Theo too Yeah, you know how we do it, so just tune in for the laughs. Theo said that he was on his way, but ran out of gas. King and the Sting. King and the Sting. King and the Sting.

King and the Sting.