The Golden Hour - Episode 157: This is Not Hot

Episode Date: January 28, 2022

Theo is back with Chris D'Elia, Erik Griffin and Brendan and the guys talk Brendan's day drinking, obsessive compulsive disorders, the birth of "far right" Chris, hoarders, my 600lb life, 1000lb sisters, Erik's impressive weight loss, Chank Smith, Chris' real life meeting with rapper TI, Brendan and Shapels foot race, a new debut song from Lil Brows and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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$1 wager required. One per customer. Restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com slash Sportsbook for details. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. So, no. So, I wanted to do this

and I don't remember how I got a meeting with T.I., but like he, we were like trying to get, oh, we were trying to get a rapper to like co-sign us and get behind us. And so, we had this meeting with T.I.

and- In L.A. In L.A. It was at some hotel and we were like, so what do we do and uh you know how do we get this going and he was like look i'm gonna be honest with you he was like this is not hot back off my broccolini get your life together together. It is. Don't touch me, bro.

I'm not touching you, dude. You want some water? I got it. Oh, you got water? Okay. Got water. You got water? I got water.

What you got there? Is that coffee and bourbon? Nah, man. Just straight bourbon. Daddy, coffee. Motherfucker, you got coffee here and bourbon. What are you, 80? This is coffee.

That's eight shots of espresso. Wait, is that a drink? It's a coffee drink, Doug. Eight shots of espresso. That is. What you're holding. No, what are you holding? This is whiskey.

Oh, it's not apple juice. This is whiskey. You know what I mean? Hold on. It's, I mean. What, bro? I know it comes out at. Tell them.

It's not, guys. It's not 9 p.m. Just so you know. No, it's 9 p.m., just so you know. No, it's 9 p.m. on a Thursday. Oh, really? Oh, really? What happened in the news yesterday, then, dude? Yesterday?

Yeah, yeah, Wednesday. Dude, it's crazy. It is crazy. It's crazy. Dude, it's crazy. There's new COVID variant. There's new COVID variant. And then also California opened back up.

Wide open. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then also Neil Young. He's not on Spotify anymore. What do you do in old news? What is this? This is Intervention. You don't recognize the theme song?

Dude, I admire those people on Intervention, man. Everyone wants to clown them. Those meth heads are shredded. It's always their warlock family like you gotta get out of the house this is rock bottom like he looks better than most y'all bitches yeah because everyone yeah people get it's always like they're they're always trying to drag in the skinniest person and like you have a problem and everyone else is just like

he's like you eat burgers all day long but i will tell you though but i will tell you though that that show i can't fucking watch it not anymore it's too depressing heartbreaking the worst one they have kids oh dude as soon as i see a kid i'll like because i record all of them yeah i got another one you know what you know it's the same one hoarders is the same way oh dude because at the end of hoarders they always go like they and they show like a little like what they're doing it's like and she never got the house back and she's now living in a homeless shelter you're just like that's how you're gonna end it? To me, Hoarders is like Shark Week. It's all the same shit. Can I get some new

can I get some sort of spin on it, dude? You know what? How's Shark Week going? I can only see so many great whites jump out of the water. Like every year it's the same shit. Yeah, on Hoarders it's like you just, it's just a mess. You keep saying the same thing when you watch it. You go how?

How are you living like this I don't see how those shows do like just non-stop seasons like my 600 pound life yeah no got it

all set yeah I saw two episodes you've seen can I ask a question no wait hold on okay go ahead I'm ready you ready for this question

because I still want to talk about hoarders but go ahead oh no go to hoarders I'll get back to you because I have a to talk about hoarders but go ahead yeah oh no go to hoarders okay because i have a question about 600 pound life okay so i watched hoarders i watched hoarders a few times you know i have ocd like i know what so i get it right when i was fucking 16 i collected a whole bunch of shit and i thought i actually had the wherewithal to think well this is gonna be a real problem so i threw away all my shit i threw away all my shit and i and i was like and it fucking it was really hard but i'm so glad i did that because i would still be collecting like mcdonald's fry containers and shit right that's what you were collecting yeah but that was one

of the things that's the ocd you have a real bad problem yeah my girl has ocd but hers is like if it's out of place yeah yeah everything has to be yeah but that's here's the difference between that and real ocd so you don't know here's the difference between that and real ocd she's like oh i can't wait to organize to make it nice me i'm dreading going home because i gotta fix everything that's the difference right okay so it's like oh but i like it clean but no no no no i don't even want to go home because i have to move the hangers around and shit like that's what are you the guy that touches one of these guys i mean i'm not that's not my thing but yes it's like that oh. But I don't do that. But yeah, I'm a freak, dude.

He's like this. He got to be, oh, this doesn't go here. Yeah. Really? But here's, but, but so with all hoarders, I watched it. So I was like, man, I really feel for these motherfuckers. Cause I kind of get it. But then I saw the episode where the guy was like, the house was a mess and they were like,

so this is all you have. And he was like, well, come out back. And there was, there was, there was an additional dwelling unit and he was collecting his own shit oh dude he had buckets of his own shit he doesn't even want to give that up dude oh my god and i couldn't watch it anymore of course but you can relate to it a little bit an additional dwelling unit and i get it and you know what i love and i get it you a little bit. You know what I love about hoarders? Every person on hoarders is very attractive. Every single one of them.

What episodes are you watching? Dude, they're all warlock. Maybe you're in the process. There hasn't been one hot person living with lurches. When you're hot, you don't have time to collect stuff. He's not a bad looking dude. I got good looking. I threw away my fries.

I got good looking. Yeah, it was like, what? You were like, yeah, you look in the mirror like, I don't need these. He passed by the mirror and was like, what? Wait a minute. I'm really coming into my own. Just in the trash. I don't have OCD.

There's certain things. Like yesterday, we had Chris DiStefano on Fire and the Kid. And he came in with Adidas socks with Van Chews. And they were like loud Adidas socks with Van Chews. That would drive me nuts. I was so focused on it. I missed a bit he was doing. Oh, wow.

Wait, what'd you say? He's always doing a bit, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fucked it up. That's bad to do. I don't like mixing the stuff. I've done it. And then I've since grown to be like,

I don't think I should be doing that shit. It'll ruin my day. Like if I do it on accent and I'll be sitting here and you know I'm in jeans, I'm like, oh man. I used to not care about it, but life changes and other things become important and now it's all Nike or all Adidas. What were you going to say about 600 pound life?

You know these people that they can't go ahead, make your fat joke. I know you. I know you. I stopped it. It was in your head. It's too much. It's too much. I was going It's too much I was gonna say But you tried out for it But the thing is

But no no no He didn't even have a spell No I don't I don't like those fucking jokes I filtered it And I did it too late What were you gonna say though About six round life

You know they can't get out of bed Right Some can but yeah But the ones that can't get out of bed I just go Shouldn't the first day You can't get out of bed Be the first day of shouldn't the first day you can't get out of bed be the first day of the diet?

Shouldn't that be the first day of the diet? No, because they're like, fuck it. And then their skin turns into basically dinosaur skin. Like around their thighs. If you can't get out, like what was that first, like that first day must've been like,

hmm. Yeah. Okay, what? Hold up here. Wait, what the, how come, whoever's bringing them food need to get their ass beat? The enablers? Yeah. Okay, what? Hold up here. Wait, what the? How come? Whoever's bringing them food need to get their ass beat.

The enablers? Yeah. But why does their skin turn into like straight like T-Rex skin around like their thighs and their... Oh my God.

But it's a men... It's not... You know what? That's still smashed. That one that was on the couch. Oh, wow. It looked like... You know what I mean?

No. You know what I'm saying? It's very inviting. I don't know what you're saying. Listen, listen, listen. Have you seen Thousand Pound Sisters? No, no.

Yeah, I've seen that and the one has, for whatever, you know how some people put fat on the back of their neck, their tummy? Hers goes on the forehead. Oh, come on, man.

Oh, man. Come on. It's insane, bro. At least you can get massages without using that fucking thing. You know what I mean? It just keeps you breathing. You're like.

She just on the bed and then kisses you! Bro! I've never seen you laugh that hard! Because you know what? Because I get massages all the time and I hate when my face is like... Oh my gosh. Dude, it's like... Your face was like...

I know, I would love a little forehand fastball. That's what I'm saying. Here he goes. Here he goes. I know, I've seen you last. Oh my god. You got me. I've known you for 15 years. You got me.

It's the one on the right. We know. I don't know. Hold on. Really? Is it the one on the right? I know. Hold on.

Hold on. We're monsters. We're on. We're monsters. We're monsters. We're monsters. Dude. We're coming in hot today. Listen, I saw this thing on Instagram, this woman in Hollywood. She wrote this op-ed piece about calling for showrunners and entertainment people.

Stop making fat jokes. I saw it. I saw it. She goes, trust me, they're not funny. No. Look at how hard you just laughed. No, I'm just saying, don't say it's not funny because it's funny. Fat jokes are funny.

Just say, don't be mean. Just say, don't be mean. We're not being mean. I know, but it's like, we're jealous with her massage. I want to be on the massage table. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What we're saying is, at any point, you can change your life.

Just look at our boy, George. He lost 270 pounds in a year and a half really yeah yeah we flew him out here and he's 200 he's i think he's smaller me now yeah he's down to two but hold on though but when you get to this kind of a thing it's not i know i get it like the jokes like well how come the first day i can't i can't get up out of the bed that's when the diet starts but it's a mental thing these guys are really fucking sick and they're sad and like they're depressed and it's fucking hard when you're there dude like it's hard to fucking do something when you don't want but also when they roll up to mcdonald's or carl's jr and their order i'm like get it yeah yeah yeah yeah bro they go so hard in

the pain no but what he's saying is like so true because even for myself like i've been a big guy in my later adult life like for a long time so recently because even for myself like i've been a big guy in my later adult life like for a long time so recently because of covid and all this and seeing the number i was like i'm trying to work like this morning i worked out oh yeah like i had to get up yeah i got up at eight o'clock and then i got i have i bought a rowing machine yeah yeah oh those are good yeah yeah so i so i said i gotta do this every day wow so every day i'm at home i get i do the no matter how i feel discipline and so then if you were to get COVID, He's like,

I started today. Because you're healthy. Well, it's also because, no, it's also because like, you deserved it. My mom has dementia. Yeah, yeah. I know my mom has dementia

and I was like, so I'm thinking about like, I'm about to be 50 this year and I was like, I need to get my shit together. I'm about to get married. She want to have kids. Yeah, you don't want to be

that big dad. You don't want to be the 600 pound life dad. Yeah. Those kids I feel so bad for. So here we are. That's good,'s cool yeah yeah i'm trying oh damn there's you with your waist honestly no you look you look better than than you do there no i'm saying he's way better getting good yeah yeah you lost a lot you lost weight bro yeah i've lost weight but uh but it's all the other stuff too it's like body fat and all this kind of stuff.

I got my cholesterol down. I got my blood sugar down. I got my inflammation down. I'm working on all that stuff. 50, dude. That's the stuff that's real. 50. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, 50. Brendan will never see that. No, yeah. I'm a great Dane. What are you, like 39 now? 38. 38, yeah. Yeah, 12 years. What are we doing here? No, you. 38, yeah, that's your, it's almost like.

Yeah, 12 years. What are we doing here? No, you'll be fine. 50, 50, you'll make it to 50. You won't, you'll be early 50. I'm thinking like, honestly, I'm thinking like 61, 62, it gets dicey for your boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's another like plague or some shit. I'll be chunky. Yeah, that CTE is going to finally break through. Oh, God, dude. But it won't be the CTE that kills you. Well, CTE just ruined my career. It's going to be this. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, gotcha. Your career, yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. This got dark. Maybe you can take yourself out before a disease does with CTE. Oh, my God. Nice.

This is really dark. But it has to be on the podcast. Jesus Christ. On my Supercast, Patreon fans only. You mentioned Neil. And then I'll be selling merch afterwards. No, we're going to be selling merch. You're going to be selling my merch.

I'm going to have a special one. I'm going to be in the parking lot with a fuck Brendan t-shirt. Brendan's dead. And then Theo will miss my funeral. I'm just not doing well, man. I just need another day it's only one but he'll be doing that

on his podcast yeah yeah that's exactly what he's doing on his podcast he's on his podcast like guys

I'm just not feeling myself right now I'm working too much yeah fucking while he's interviewing a leaf blower right

and for no reason Kid Rock is just walking in the background Fucking Wally's interviewing a leaf blower. Right. And for no reason, Kid Rock is just walking in the background in a robe. With a GoBrandon shirt on. He sends in the video to your eulogy to the funeral. So I can make it go. Yeah, man. I just need some rest, man. I have seven shows tonight at the Hollywood Emblem. You know, there's two parts to this business, brother.

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Call 1-800-GAMBLER. You mentioned Neil Young earlier. This guy had a debate club about Joe and Neil. What's up, King of the Sing? It's your boy, Edwin. I got a little debate club for you. I was reading my news yesterday. I put my Christmas tree up.

Is this a Zoom? Neil Young going to Spotify saying, it's either me or Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan out here posting these anti-vax bullshit. Who do you guys got? I got Joe, Neil Young. Maybe got two, three years left of him. Hope COVID get him.

But let me know what you guys think. Dude. Peace, peace. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. My first question. Hope COVID get him. But let me know what you guys think. Dude. Peace, peace. Gang, gang. My first question. So Neil Young came out. Here's the thing with context. So Neil Young has always had an issue with Spotify.

He didn't want his entire catalog on Spotify because he thinks their sound quality is bad. So apparently they came to agreement with like, all right, we'll take all your catalogs. We'll enhance the audio. He's like, all right, cool. And then now, you know, Rogan, he's saying, spreading misinformation where to each its own.

All right, if you believe that. He's like, it's either me or Joe Rogan. And Spotify's like, excuse me? Oh, we're good. Like the only way, and I think to defend Neil Young a little bit here, he did, he had polio. He beat polio. He beat, he has type 1 diabetes

and he had i think an aneurysm or heart attack so he has underlying health conditions totally get it yeah but he's alive he's he's 76 or 78 did he get covid he i don't think he has if he does he's screwed but the thing is is you're not gonna shake the the tree of Spotify threatening them. If you're, it would take like, I'm being dead serious. It would take like, so their top three streamers, I think, is Doja Cat, Drake, and Kanye. If the three of them came out, we're like, it's either us or real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, Joe, we got to figure something out. Right. Neil Young? Yeah. Name a song, Chris. We're too young. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know i don't know i don't know if i heard it i'd be like oh that's neil young i listened up before i came here you'll know some

but you're not gonna be like oh man i can't live without neil young yeah let's definitely take rogue oh yeah well this is more like him bringing it up just to start the conversation i think it's more i think that he really is doing that that's what it really really is. I don't think he cares about, you know. I think he's kind of set. You know what I'm saying? Like, financially, I don't think Spotify giving him money for his album. How much money does Neil Young have? And also, he's got fucking three years left. Yeah, it's like, dude,

this is the fight you want to do in the last, you're in your fifth round, dude. It's not going to matter. Also, take your Christmas tree down. But anyway, you know what I mean? But the thing is, like, Neil Young, like like about the quality of Spotify, I mean, to me, this has been a thing that's been going on forever. I mean, once they went to MP3s, MP3s are a low-grade quality sound. And that's what Spotify uses? But this young generation, they don't even understand, like on CDs, those are WAV files that are like 40-gig files.

You know, that's why the sound quality is so much better but because it went to downloading and all this stuff no one cares the sound quality has been degraded for now for like 10 years and people don't even know they don't they just the young people just like oh it sounds good to me so the record companies and everybody are like okay just put that out there wait why do you know all this stuff because i'm almost 70 but that's i forget that shit dude yeah but this is a real thing is a new article tattoo no i'm just saying mp3s are a low grade quality man and and that's so that's all if that's the standard yeah but you know even on your spot of my car you can download a higher quality you could do that on your it takes longer though right yeah but it is what it is so i get so i get him but he's old too so he remembers like you know putting a record yeah yeah but

from his i try to look at other people's perspective from his perspective several underlying health conditions who knows what happened within his family so he's probably like yeah super pro-covid and that's fine dude do your thing but do you really think it's you're gonna make the difference i guess it's an unfair characterization to say that joe rogan is spreading uh you know that information that they think just because like if joe rogan has somebody on that has a different opinion they then they blame joe rogan when he's just when he's just there he has everybody on his show but he's also the guy from cnn on his show to give a doctor yeah so he has everybody on his show. He had the guy from CNN on his show to give him a chance. Yeah, so he has everybody on his show. He tore him apart.

But anyways, I think it is Joe's having the conversation that nobody else is having. Like, he's having a doctor who, hey, man, I was part of creating these vaccinations. This is what I think. Then I have the doctor from CNN in a long form three hours. Yeah. Name another platform. I challenge, name another platform. name another platform i can't name another platform any of these people whether you're a doctor whoever you are comic whoever that you get three hours to fucking speak your truth if that's

what you believe so that's the reason joe's so much bigger than cnn and fox news because fox news cnn they have an agenda joe doesn't have an agenda you could come on and fucking preach about moderna or whatever it is or uh conspiracy theories all right he's into it he doesn't care there's no agenda he's not booking guests based off agenda yeah i mean they didn't they didn't allow him to have alex jones on right no he did they did eventually you got this is the other thing everyone spotify is owned by a savage of a man and he's swedish he doesn't partake in any of this woke and all this shit a little bit all he doesn't he does not a little bit i'm he doesn't how in what form my episodes

aren't on there that's not good yeah my login episodes aren't on there just got dark no i mean but but remember i don't think that's the president that's yeah spotify new york which they took several but they took more than yours off yeah oh yeah but that's what i'm saying they took gavin what's it whatever else gavin mcginnis proud boy guy right yeah they took him off i mean look you know and they took some alec jones off but i but again i don't i think the president took joey diaz off no they did dude yes they did yes they did so i you know i and and like you said maybe it's not the president but but but you know you know what you're starting that you know what i don't know yeah if you're starting what i've heard from what i've heard and i have friends who work for spotify from for what

i heard it's not his doing he's like yeah like so but didn't go back back to neil young if neil young isn't on spotify you know what their stock does nothing if joe rogan left spotify their stock went up two billion dollars yeah yeah so what do you so that that swedish dude's a businessman you know yeah no i get that uh yeah i get it i just you know it's like i i don't think i i didn't know that about your episodes yeah yeah but no but here's the deal though again you know and here's. I just, you know, it's like, I don't think. I didn't know that about your episodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, but here's the deal though. Again, you know, and here's the other thing. Like, you know, that's not Joe. Dude, right?

Chris came out the other day. That's all I'm saying. Don't push him to the right. I know. I'm not trying to be pushed over to the right. Dude, I'm a centrist and I. Oh no. I know.

Wait, are you? They took your episode. No, it's fine. Your episode's on there, Chris. Are you like Venom right now? No, it's not. I know Always flying in a circle with two right wings. Like NASCAR. Put Alex Jones back on Spotify. Right wing Chris is insane, dude. What do you think of Neil Young, right, Chris?

I will eat Neil Young's children. Did you just shit yourself? Is he a big burger? God damn it. You just take over, man. Dude, guys, it is about the corporations and shit like that. Because remember Donald Sterling, the ex-owner of the Clippers? That guy been racist for 40 years.

Nobody did anything. Nobody said anything. Once Pepsi and Coke and all those companies were like, yeah, we pulling out of the Staples Center, the NBA was like, he got to go. But everyone knew that this guy was fucking racist. Yeah, they were like, NBA was like, he's got to go. Fuck these motherfuckers. Everyone knew. Hey, but did he say the N? Because remember his girl.

I don't know. You're going to believe that fucking idiot have you seen her that's what I'm saying so listen no he damned himself cause he had to record it but she recorded it

but like when you hear the when you hear the playing he's all do you have to fuck all the black guys like do they have to be

seven foot tall you know what I'm saying like he never dropped the n word he was just like do you have to fuck the foot tall you know what I'm saying like you never drop the N where he's just like do you have to fuck the biggest things it was a question he was posing a question

yeah and they're like get him out of here dude I don't it was a fucking accumulation of all I didn't hear the recordings but dude bro people fucking

people do this shit everyone's acting holier than thou you fucking fuck off dude you know I agree at Pepsi like they give a shit bro you think the guy

is at the top of Pepsi? You think he's not racist, dude? Fucking. Who is the owner of Pepsi? Who gives a shit? He's so racist. I'd have to see him. You know that guy.

What is he? How old is he? Oh, is he over what? Oh, then he's racist, dude. If he's over 50, there's probably a splash of racism. If you're over 50 next year, if he was white next year, dude, he'd be so racist. That's 50. Bro.

I say this all the time. Look at this guy. Look at this guy. Who do you vote for? He drops on my inbox. Who do you vote for? What's up with that name? Is he fucking Ramon?

You know what I don't understand? Did they sell it to fucking Armenia? People also search for, when you search for that guy, why would you search for these people? Because Indra probably owns fucking Sprite. Yeah. Laxman probably owns Coca-Cola.

AJ owns some other shit. Who's Caleb? I just literally destroyed those names. Former CEO. Former CEO. Whatever. Hey, destroyed.

Whatever. I mean. I want to see Brendan in a spelling bee. That would be. Not with an A, but with an A. Speaking bee. Whatever. Hey, destroy that. Whatever. I mean. I want to see Brendan in a spelling bee. That would be. Not with names, you know. A speaking bee. Bro. Yeah, can you use those words in a sentence, please?

Bro, I'll never forget. I had an audition for the UFC tonight on Fox when they were just starting. And just my fucking luck. It was all. The whole card was Brazilian fighters. Like, Brendan, what do you think about? I was like does he have a nickname yeah can you use his name in a sentence dude just and that was it for your tv career they're like we're good we're good yeah you're not great at the the english language so

give him nicknames yeah that's why i'm a fire starter is for me i love the fire starter knuckles knuckles mcgee all right let's right, let's get back to it. This guy's got a debate club. What up, king of the state? It's your boy, Cooper. That's the same guy as last time. I got a debate club. You got that.

My life is a documentary. Hitter by Chang Smith. That is a hitter. Or that island boy dish. Oh, Chang. Oh, dude. It's the street shit versus nothing. I mean, the island Boys is not a thing.

They're just dicking around. Cenk Smith is real. That's from the heart, you know? Can you play the Chet one? Chet Hanks. I'm a huge fan of Chet Hanks. Oh, wait. Wait, hold on.

No, they're talking about the Island Boys. What's the other guy? Chris. Remember Cenk Smith? Cenk Smith is me. Back in the day when Chris was a rapper. Oh. Oh, you thought it was Chet Hanks.

That's okay. Such a fan. That's a good debate club too. Chet or thought it was Chet's name. Chet Hanks, that's okay. Such a fan. That's a good debate club too, Chet. Chet or Chet. Chet's good. I love Chet. Yeah. Life.

This is very good. I had a meeting with T.I. about this. Yeah. Really? I really did. Holy fuck. I couldn't wait to get out of that meeting. Bro, it was the worst fucking meeting.

It was unbelievable. It was unbelievable. Dude, that's good, dude. I mean, this was how long ago? This destroys Island Boys. Yeah, bro. What is that, 2020? That was an earlier one.

This is like a... 2015 was the original. This is when it released? No. This was a... You re-uploaded it in 2019. Yeah, I know that. Wait, so tell me this. This is older. How the fuck did you get a meeting with T.I. based off this?

So, so I wanted to do like a fucking follow Cenk Smith around his life where like he was like coming, moving out of Prim and coming to LA to follow his dreams

as like a 30 fucking five-year-old. And what's Prim? Prim is a place in... Hunger Games. No, Prim is a place... Near Las Vegas? No, Prim is a place on the way to Las Vegas where he's from.

Okay. And nobody is from there. It's just a place where he's... It's hilarious. So it's a character you created. Right. So then T.I. what, sees this video? Wait, do you have to get off at YYZG you're on that street so so no so i wanted to do this and i don't

remember how i got a meeting with ti but like he we were like trying to get oh we were trying to get a rapper to like co-sign us and and and uh get behind us and so we had this meeting with ti and um in la in la it was at the some hotel ti walked in with uh three he had he goes like this oh what's up and he put he put his he had three phones and he put them down on the table and during the meeting he would get a text and he would be like checking which phone it was three phones i'm not lying i'm not i'm not even joking it wasn't it wasn't two it was three phones it's too much it's silly's just silly to be like, have different notifications. No, yeah, I know.

But he did it. There were three iPhones. And we were like, so what do we do? And how do we get this going? And he was like, look, I'm going to be honest with you. He was like, this is not hot. He was like, this is not hot. And I was like, yeah, it is, dude. I was like, this is good. And he was like, no like this is not hot and i was like yeah it is dude i was like this is good

and he was like no it is not and i was like bro it's fucking and he was like if you're trying to do like the curb your enthusiasm larry david shit he literally goes like this i ain't with that and i'm like why are you here then yeah i didn't understand why he was there yeah you know i'm not trying to get signed to fucking no no no i don't know i don't think he understands i'm going to be very clear about this i don't think he understands humor yes i don't think he understands trying to stand up now though who no no no well it will be horrible oh it's gonna be terrible you know you got music and i'm gonna be in the audience no no no i'm gonna be in the audience he's gonna be doing something i'm being always like you know what that's not hot that's what i'm gonna say dude he doesn't doesn't these rap. I have three phones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get he's getting booed just on about how women cheat, too

Why do you have a DJ Yes. Man, if you fucking it, don't count. The lady's like, yes, you do. It's the account. It's the account. You see how motherfuckers ain't shit, man? Ladies cheat way better than us, so don't get into the game, okay? Because the shit is going to be fucking shit. Women be shopping, too. This is a-

Women be shopping. Here's the thing, though. I'm sure someone- Look, look. I already agree with you. Somebody went to him and said- No, no. Somebody went to him and said, his people said, you know you can make a lot of money doing stand-up. No, he has so much money. I bet he was so bored.

I know, but. And I bet his girl, whatever, Tiny, I was like, you funny. He's like, you think? She's like, yeah. There's so many people like this that can just start doing stand-up and they'll just be killing it at clubs and stuff like that and making so much money. Now, it only lasts—you can get away with that for a year. You go on a run for a year. Yeah, but a year, that's out.

Okay. There's no longevity. I know, but then he don't need the longevity. Like you said, this is just like, hey, remember when I did that for a year? But also rap, you know? Like Will Smith. Will Smith's a money-hitting star. He could start—if Will Smithith went like he could do a stadium

tour yeah as a comic right now right charlie sheen did and then once he got booed he got booed so he made it through three cities and by the fourth one the word was out on twitter how terrible it is and then his ticket sales but my whole thing is like all these Jeff Ross and Russell Peters helped them out all these motherfuckers think that stand-up, they're like, all right, well, last, last, last, I'll just do stand-up, last dance, like, you know, I can do all the other shit, last dance, fight. You can do stand-up now, but also build a house and live in that. Yeah. Because you're not a fucking architect or a, you know, you're not that either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not that either. The least respected art form is stand-up comedy. Yeah. And truly. We're fighting. The hardest. Yeah. Like, fuck off and truly... We're fighting. The hardest. Yeah.

Like, fuck off. By far. Fuck off. The hardest. You need immediate laughs. Even the painting. People could draw fucking nice Renaissance shit. People could fucking paint shit.

It's beautiful as shit. And someone walking in like, eh, 900 people could look at that at the same time and be like, I don't really like it. Who gives a shit? The guy already painted it. But when you're up there bombing, that's the hardest shit, dude. Especially when you got to follow other monster comics know it don't even matter it's not like it's not a home game it don't even matter how famous you are either i don't know how many

times it doesn't matter they give they'll give that person like a minute like i've seen somebody like super famous like the crowd go you know they go and guess who's here you know that's why i always like i love chris rock always does this when he like he's doing like a like He's just saying whatever he comes in and goes. Hey, no expectations I'm working shit out, you know, and then like you see me two weeks and it's fire. Yeah, right Yeah, I mean like it's just if you're not if you don't have that work ethic People don't care. They give you a minute man. I'll give you a minute I'm not a house. No, I think I'm out of health Amy. Sure. I'll never forget We're at the laugh factor in a very famous guy was going on stage.

She's trying to do stamps. Still does it, not doing well. And I remember, I was like, man, they seem excited for him. And Brian looks at me and goes, he'll have 45 seconds of that. After that, if he's not funny, I'm telling you, dude, this is going to get fucking dark for him. I went, no, they love this guy. They know him from blah, blah, blah. He goes, 45 seconds.

It's LA. They're going to give you 45 seconds. Maybe in another state, you get two minutes. In LA get two minutes and michael richards has never done comedy again do you still have ti's info you got it i don't think so you got to text him that youtube video be like that's not hot yeah but which phone yeah i don't know what phone i have no but you know what um uh i i got a whole i have a whole nother album from Chank Smith. Oh, shit. That you haven't released?

Oh, it's not out yet. Dude, you and Chet Hanks should do like a- Oh, dude, I have seven songs. Oh, my God. Bro, you know what would happen? Oh, dude. Oh, and they're hot. Chank Smith should clown Chris D'Elia.

No, you know what would happen if we put, you know Little Brows? My guy Little Brows? Yeah, yeah, I know about him. Put Little Brows, Chet Hanks and you together do you hate money? no I love money and honestly

I'm fucking dude I have seven songs I'm open to do collabs and shit bro tell me if you think this is Brows will let us play this that's how a drug dealer

like you know what I mean it's not it's a taste do you hate money? yeah he should be one of those like self helphelp guys.

That would be his thing. Let me just tell you right now, this new shit that Chang Smith did, it's fucking fire, dude. Oh, yeah? It's fire. Yeah, it is.

Even T.I. would be like, all right. All right. I'm with it. It'll come out. I just have the right to do it. I've been sitting on it

for fucking, I've been sitting on it. Let's do a video. Remember that ATL movie where they're on roller skates and the roller blade plays? Let's do that. That would be very cool. That'd be on roller skates and the roller blade plays? Let's do that. That would be very cool.

That'd be sick. Now, check out my boy, Little Browse, right here. Yeah, we talked on Instagram. You've talked to him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a monster. Let me introduce myself. I'm Browse.

My real name is Austin. Been working so hard. Been recording these songs every night, and I'm fucking exhausted. Ain't been sleeping. I'm still fighting demons, and nothing is helping to clear up my conscience When I think about not living up to my full potential I just start to get nauseous Need a psychiatrist, wait let me write this shit

Hold on, just let it ride, don't try to fight this shit Hear a chord turn to a nihilist, don't know defeat like podiatrist You know it's gang like a tribalist, hold on Wait, don't get ahead of myself Fuck that, tell the engineer to punch me in And just keep punching me in Until I punch out their lanes and shit Been had to drive with no license

The hardest, the fireboy, arsonist, stumble and droop along tundras I'm in my own world with the juice like it's Jamba Mentality mom, but avoid being a problem and I'm so focused You can read it in my persona, see it in my persona Stepping in designer, death before designer If you forgot then let me remind you I am no amateur, snap like a camera Whenever I switch the flow it's diverse

It's not even close, I just feel like a ghost Cause they sound like a version of me at my worst Gift and a curse, I'm stuck with it When this shit get too much to bear for y'all Well that's when I go in like the Covenant Code And I'm running it flow, got a ton of them Straight gunning them down, not one of them found No cap in my rap, no cap with the gown

I'm in my own lane, you can't fuck with my sound I just let the beat build just to break it all down Shit get cynical, I can't stand the praise I'm in love with the ridicule, I don touch pen, I ain't even touch pinnacle I ain't murder beats in two minute intervals Like wowsers, drip mic drowner Mic check one, two, turn me up louder Go harder than anyone out here

Until shit click like internet browser Lil' brows call me internet browser Propane through my whole name, gotta search for it They just wanna talk shit on the internet Won't admit it to themselves that they just never wanted to work for it That's fine, I'm barely trying Only two years in and I'm on the climb If you need two or more, I'll sell out the troubadour

I'll probably pack it full of rappers you adore I'm up the top with no cap and like two fedoras Kill the verses and forget to do the chorus Talking facts like a fucking historian Heard your new shit, it was whack, it was boring It's tough while I'm rapping, you'll ruin euphoria My shit is OD like Ruin Euphoria Thinking I fuck with the bull like guitarists

Record every day until my voice get hard Scoperors on the competition i've been navigating this through intuition i don't know said it i'm fine when i turn on the flow and they still wonder how far i could go yeah he's good dude oh i've never heard him he's he's so talented so how do you know him we found him on a we did a white rap white rapper contest contest on this. He won for weeks in a row and he kept making original songs. He opened up for me when I was in San Marcos. He just opened up. He's so fucking talented.

When is he coming out with these songs that we did with him? It's coming. I'm going to follow him. Oh, so this is already out, that song right there? No, that's a debut right there. He's such a savage yeah and he works with and he works with this producer man that's just face god he's so fucking talented the dude's a savant yeah yeah you know so he's proud man and such a good dude he works at a uh addiction place

because he used to be an addict so now he like gives back and he works out yeah that place and then he has a daughter he's just a beast dude yeah he's a motivating motherfucker man he's so talented um i like that guy wow 70 of the men i know have a right to all this function i'm guessing try 100 of the men i know really it's a real problem and there's four men in here we're batting 100 that's true baby let true, baby. Let me go, dude. Nick won't shut up about it. I said, bro, you need to get Roman, bro. Yeah, boy, he got that al dente, baby. Who doesn't?

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treatment. Make sure you're ready to have confidence and control this fall. Roman ready. Get that blaster. A lot of forehead here. Yeah. Just a lot of forehead. Oh, dude, the shirt. I mean, dude, it's unbelievable. Your fans. The shirt. Do you like it or no?

No, this is a shirt. I mean, dude, it's unbelievable, your fans. The shirt. Do you like it or no? No, this is a shirt. What if he's going hunting? He's not. If I saw this guy out anywhere, I'd be like, oh, that guy knows King of the Sting. With that shirt? Bro, what is the deal with this shirt? How about we're at your show? You'd be like, those are your fans.

Oh, 100%. Just dudes. But it's not even, it's not necessarily. Just dudes. Dude, your fans sometimes, some of them, not all of them, but some of them. It's just like. It's in their caveman? Yeah, yeah.

It's just. Dude, they get out of fucking the cars from Mad Max. F350s. At the improv. Like, where are you guys from? I'm from a land far away. What the fuck? We came to laugh. We've heard of laughing we want to experience we haven't laughed and then they go in the fucking improv and then you do jokes and they're like just fucking big not fat or muscly muscly just big

they look like they look like Rocksteady and Bebop you know what I mean fuck yeah that was for you bro and everyone laughed but you

you know Rocksteady and Bebop I'm with you you thought it was serious it is serious I'm on the island remember yeah King of this thing what's up this your boy Austin from Tyler, Texas my boy Austin on the island, remember?

King of this thing, what's up? This your boy Austin from Tyler, Texas. My boy Austin. January 1st, got married. Nice. Me and the wife,

we met on Tinder about six months ago. Okay, that's quick. Oh, boy. That's Texas shit. First time I went to meet her parents, she said I couldn't tell them

that we met from Tinder. So we had to come up with something else. So old school. Everyone meets on that fucking show. I met her on the candle aisle at Target, and I asked her about some flavors of the candles. It works. For my debate club for you. Flavors.

Should I tell them at one point down the road how we actually met? No. Well, they definitely watched King of the Sting, so they're going to find out. Appreciate it, guys. Game, game, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. Congrats, young man.

His dad's bebop. Yeah. I'll tell you, though, that's so funny. It's such an old school thing to be like, no, no online Tinder shit. It's like, dude. We were indoors, I think, for two years. 60% of couples meet some form of social media. but there was a time though like 10 15 years ago

Oh, yeah, that was weird. It was like it was like a stigma. It was weird Yeah, and now it's just like no to me It's crazy because now if you think about it like why would you want to talk to somebody at? Target so weird. Oh, what is this? 1940 without a dossier I'd love to take you out to dinner. Like, how do you even do it, dude? Why are you looking at me?

No, I'm just saying, you're talking. I'm saying, how do you even do it? Did you meet your girl via social media? Yeah. Yeah. I met mine in real life. Yeah, I met mine in real life. I met mine in real life, too.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine was outside the comedy store, dude. Yep, did a show. Is that real life fair enough but at least it's not so dude you know and hopefully this doesn't offend your wife you know i was watching this documentary on playboy last night on a and e your girl looks like a better like natural version of uh holly heard it before i've heard that you've heard that

before yeah we're watching i told my girl that's chris's wife before i've heard that you've heard that before yeah we're watching that's chris's wife yeah i've heard that before she's obviously had a bunch of surgery chris's wife woke up like that um and my girl's like chris's wife is so much prettier i'm like yeah that's what i'm saying yeah but no but i thought but when i was i don't know how old she is now but when i was like when i found out who she was like 15 years ago or whatever yeah 20 yeah i thought that she was so hot yeah that holly is her name yeah yeah yeah um that documentary it's a 10-part series about eight parts too long about i mean series of what is it about just them hating on hugh hefner yeah like

how vile he was oh boy you know that guy checked out at the perfect time, bro. Oh, dude, bye. He goes like this. He goes like this. Buzzer beater. Bro, bro, bro. Me too moving. He goes like this. He goes like this.

He goes like this. Me too? That's exactly what he did. He goes like that. They're doing what? To who? Bro, especially because, check it out, man. Cosby was a huge part of that.

He was there all the time. If we had social media back then, we would find out what a player Cosby was 50 years ago. Cosby, even I think it was like early 2000s, got accused of rape in the Playboy mansion. Oh, really? Even back then. But what about, but like you hear all these things about all these guys.

Like, I don't want to say the guys' names, but like you hear these guys in the fucking, like really famous people. And you're like, is anything going to happen? And it might, or it might not.

And some guys just fucking make it out and they're okay and some guys check out and then some guys get hit hard you know what i mean like the playboy mansion thing's dicey right because he built this entire empire like selling sex yeah like these girls like so it's like half and half half the girls like it was a cult it was terrible i was forced to do this right the other half like it's pretty dope we live in a mansion i knew i signed up for it got really famous made a bunch of money this is that this is on the documentary it's like half and half yeah it's so it was like 40 years ago that they're talking about dude i mean you know yeah they're like yeah it was me paul newman arnold schwarzenegger was 19 it's like yeah but

they got the but but but right now now we're looking back look you know how people look back at your twitter and they go when you were were 15, you tweeted this. Well, this is even worse because they're going like, hey, you were at the Playboy Mansion, you know, whatever. And now people are looking at that and being like, oh, you're terrible. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing about it. For 2022, it's terrible. That's what I'm saying. But you're talking about the 60s and 70s, and then we're talking about Quaaludes.

It's like, that's what those dudes and people did back then. I know, but you know what I'm saying? It's like now. Yeah, but that's the thing. we're talking about Quaaludes it's like that's what those dudes and people did back then I know but you know what I'm saying it's like now who the fuck does Quaaludes but that's a slippery slope man

because you can even go back and be like well in the 1700s they're trying to that's what they're trying to do I know but what I'm saying is they're canceling

they tried to cancel fucking what's his name John Wayne remember yeah from being racist or something yeah he's dead he for sure was racist yeah but he's dead everyone was was racist back then it was like you know i know but but if

if they have a ledger like if you have to sign in to go to the playboy mansion they're bringing that up now like you were a part of this is that fair though look i don't i don't know i don't think it's fair but at the same time though you go look, this is my feeling. If we're going to continue to use sex to sell things, women and even men are going to be objectified. Okay? That's just, if you're going to use sex to sell, then that's what it's going to be. If I drive down the street and I see like, you know, in Sunset, they always got a billboard of like some bad bitch on the billboard selling like whatever it is. And I'm like, who's that for? Why is she half naked? she half naked oh i buy it every time i know but that's what i'm saying so i see i'm like you can't have that in society and then also be like why are you

objectifying women correct okay then why are we like it's like when i go to a restaurant that's why i'm saying the companies don't give a fuck that's what i agree i totally agree so when i go to a restaurant man and like i mean, this happens in Vegas all the time. I was at Gordon Ramsay restaurant in Vegas. The waitresses' outfits, I'm talking about, it was so sexy and shit. What an ass and titties got to do with selling hamburgers? Did you not enjoy it? No, I was uncomfortable because I was like, oh, man.

You felt like you're at Hooters? Yeah, man. And I'm like, listen, if you blindfold yourself and I bring like, oh, man. You felt like you're at Hooters? Yeah, man. And I'm like, listen, if you blindfold yourself and I bring you a hamburger, you're not going to be like, this tastes like a fat guy brought it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying.

It's like, Eric? I go, Eric? You know what I'm saying? Why is there butter? So the moment we, and why do they do that? It's like, you know, it's like we do is there butter? So the moment we, and why do they do that? It's like, you know, it's like we do that stuff.

It translates to money. So, but then it's like at the same time, it's like, it also translates to we're objectifying. So the Playboy Mansion, I'm saying Playboy and the Hustler and all that. It was all about that.

Remember they used to have that club at the Palms? What is it? Remember that? Remember that they had that comedy club at the Palms? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they would always have a Playboy model.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. You know, I remember one of them, she was telling me that this is what happens. Those guys that own this, they come and they ask for the Playboy model. Hey, could you send her up to – The Maloof's, right? Yeah, could you send her up to like – and I was like, damn. So it's like, what's really going on here? Oh, yeah.

Well, just they can't do that now. Or they can. Or they're doing it some girls like it and some don't yeah yeah but that's that's fucking as you say the women that say like it they don't want to come out and be like yeah i like this because then all the other ones are going to be like you're terrible don't say that so it's like shaming is real bro shaming is real and here's another thing too you don't change anybody with shame nobody fucking shame it makes it you can't shame somebody into changing them to what you want to be it's just gonna push them over to the other i make the joke about right chris you know what i mean but like dude it's real you can't shame somebody into your camp you can't you say do better do

this shit but then fucking what's the deal with it do better it's like morgan uh wallen right morgan whalen yeah so he got caught calling his friend the n word when he's drunk yeah someone some neighbor recorded it they take him off all the country music awards everything his the fans which pay your bills his his album sale number one yeah for months months months the rapper i forget which rapper brought him on stage a rapper because they're like hey man people make mistakes he opens up for this rapper and he has a hit i forget who it is it's a huge hit now okay little dirk little dirk like i can't believe you bring him in and the rapper's like why right because because that that recording when he was hammered yeah that some random person took we're supposed to

label him a racist for how long you want to do this well this is like we know like and he goes little dirt goes i know him you're not right we're friends like so i'm putting him on my show yeah and the people who don't know him are like fuck him this is bullshit and have you heard the banger no broadway hoes or something like that? No. But see, the thing is like the real point you made right there is like, how long are we supposed to punish someone? Like at what point can people redeem themselves? At what point can people be like, I'm not, I made this mistake.

I'm not this person anymore. And it's like, so how long do you want to pile on someone? Especially with celebrities, because we do it with like so how long do you want to pile on someone especially with celebrities because we do it with like our judicial system when like prison prison is supposed to be rehabilitation they're supposed to get better and they won't put all these resources into that it's like okay well if you do this the same with the celebrities whether it counts for whatever after two years and they're better three years and they're a better person for it and they learn their lesson like should they not be able to make a like what's good enough because it's not about they don't want

them to be better they don't want to ruin your life no they want they want yeah they want to ruin your life and but why do they want well a bunch of different reasons because they're not a bunch of different it's a bunch of different reasons some people are mad at their own life some people uh want the power some people are mentally not right some people i mean just so many different reasons and some people really think well fuck we don't need those motherfuckers in society and uh and and they need society needs to be better whatever you think dude whatever you think it's like you know being being like these guys like morgan whalen could have fucking been like i'm still gonna go out and do shows i don't give a fuck the next day that's basically what he well

he he kind of took he took some time off. He took some time off. A little bit. But, you know, that's, for him, it was probably, dude, bro, these motherfuckers, shame, it makes you want to fucking kill yourself, bro. Yeah. I mean, I'm not fucking around. It doesn't help anybody.

Like, it's not helping anybody. It makes it worse. Like, it makes you, I mean, people are out there. Bro, I watched Love Island, man. Love Island show. Yeah, it's a great show. The lady killed herself. Dude, no, the lady, bro. The host. Three people killed themselves from that show yeah the lady killed herself dude no the lady bro

three people killed themselves from that show you know because in britain it's different britain i know because the fucking press is savages bro it's a step it's a step ahead of the american press the american press is fucking awful too they fucking make these people these are real people that are like all right fuck it if you're gonna say this for fucking however long i'm out that girl was her name's heidi or. She committed suicide. She had so much pressure. Yeah, three people. She had shit on. Three people from that show.

But she was the host. Yeah, the host. And gorgeous. Yeah. Like a fucking 10. And then she was going through issues with her boyfriend. And shit hit the news. She just killed herself.

It's sad, man. I mean, these people are real people, man. They don't think that they're real people. Because they just see them on TV and they're just like, oh, it's so easy to just be like, fuck this person. Yeah, all you hater cats fans. That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's the truth, man. It's a shame, dude.

I don't know how it changes. That's how people, that's what they want. And I feel your passion about this and I understand why you even feel this way too. And this is what I'm saying too. It's like to that point, whatever happens, how do you move forward from it? And people need to acknowledge the moving forward. It's terrible, man. It also doesn't just affect you, man.

It affects, I mean, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, I know. People get older and fucking people get affected. And it's just, it's, I mean, bro, it's not even about the person. It's about their family. It's about their fucking, I mean, dude. Everything.

I wish motherfuckers out there knew, but I don't know. Maybe one day they will. And no, they, they never will. Cause they don't take any risks. They don't do anything of note. And you know what the thing is? That's why they want to bring others down. But the thing that's really messed up about it too, is like, so this guy, this rapper,

who's like, this is my friend. So this is the thing that I don't understand too. It's like, so it's like, I'm not supposed to support my friend. Correct. You know what I mean? So it's like, uh, I can't,

here's my friend who I'm trying to like, you know, be like, Oh, I'm supposed to just shun my friend and be like, I don't want to be around my friend anymore because you guys don't like Dave Chappelle. But it's even bigger than that. Chris and I,

my thing is, is like, so social media goes after this guy, right? And that guy is one of my closest friends. So it's like, so from the information that you have, you think you know more than I do? I know what's going on. I have the truth here. And you think if I thought that that really happened, I would fuck with that person?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Check my track record. I don't fuck people like that. So who are you going to ride with? These random trolls or someone I've known for years? What are you going to do? Do the background check. But go even further than that, man.

You go, even if it's like press, as if like- Press doesn't count because they want clicks. No, no, no, no. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's exactly. Press doesn't count. So I'm saying that if you have somebody somebody writes an article right so if you're someone that goes well i believe i believe this then i don't want to ever hear you complain about fox news agree i don't want to hear you complain about cnn i don't want

to hear you complain about tmz because it's the press page six so everything that they write must be true right so i don't want to hear you know what i mean so so it's like that six so everything that they write must be true, right? So I don't want to You know what I mean? So that's what I'm saying. So if you go well, here's an article this person must be have no agenda or anything That's why they did this. It's like oh no, no, everything has a spin. You know, everything has a spin you must believe all politicians Clearly this guys relate to me And clearly this guy's related to me in Calgary. He just came. This guy's related. This is me in five years.

I was about to say, you a ham sandwich away. Dude, if I get off my diet, I'm one grilled cheese away from looking like this. I got to tell you this. You a rack of ribs away from this. I will tell you, though. You do love ribs. I love ribs. I love ribs. My favorite thing in the world.

I will tell you, though, that shirt is a good one. I like that. I like that shirt. That shirt's fire. The back's camo, though. Is it double RL? Is it? Really?

Oh, man, that would be funny. Last debate club. What up, King of the Sting? It's your boy, Jake, here back with another debate club. So over the weekend, the Bills played the Chiefs, and during the game, a fan decided to storm the field. Got let up. Turns out his boys paid him $1,000 to do so.

So my question for you guys is how much money would it take you to storm the field of Got let up. Turns out his boys paid him $1,000 to do so. So my question for you guys is, how much money would it take you to storm the field of a playoff game? Now, Eric, I know fences probably aren't your thing. D'Elia, you kind of got the physique of Salad Fingers, so people would pay top dollars so you get bodied. And shop. This could be your opportunity, man. Get in there and start squeezing some ass.

Grab some cheeks like the good old days. You know what I'm saying? Got to capitalize on your opportunities. So love to hear what you guys got to say. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. I like that guy. I like that guy.

That's the best guy that ever called in. Yeah, he's great. Wait, so... This guy stormed the field for $1,000. You get dealt with. Security is foaming at the dick to tackle you. They live for this moment. Nothing ever happens. So they're foaming at the dick to tackle you. They live for this moment. Nothing ever happens.

It's Stefan Diggs. What? Stefan Diggs. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He got lit up. See him running? Yep. Watch Stefan Diggs.

Boom! Ooh. That's cool he got tackled by you. Yeah, you know why? Stefan Diggs is top five receivers in the league. This would be like you're doing your Netflix hour. You're doing your special. This is like a big deal.

And then some fuck runs on the stage. Me nightmare. Oh, it's horrible. What he did is fucking shitty. These guys are in playoff games. Oh, dude. Oh, dude. Oh, I hope he heard.

Top five games I've ever seen. Oh, I know. Yeah. I wish my Bills won, but top five games I've ever seen. Boom, dude. That's just. But also, does anybody know the guy's name that rushed the field? You get no fame from it.

I know. No, he got $1,000. You get the fame for your friends, man. You're not though, because he gets arrested. You got to go to jail. You got to post bail. There goes your $1,000. Yeah, yeah.

You did it for nothing. You got the story. Yeah, but for sure, this guy's getting pussy off this. There's no doubt. I disagree. I don't think so. You think some girls are like, hold up. You're the guy that rushed the's no doubt. I disagree. I don't think so. You think some girls might call it up. You're the guy that rushed the field?

I do, yes. I don't think so. Oh, you're discounting hoes. Oh, but hoes. Dude, that's my argument always. People are like, not for that. Oh, but hoes. It's true.

People have different feelings. This is swole, dude. So we got a cats in the wild uh evidently chapelle and me right he was pissed that he heard chris picked uh brendan okay okay fair oh i've seen this jesus christ dude he, he just... Oh, his head, too. He just like... Hold on a second. What? Like, what?

Is that guy drunk or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Because I'm about to say, why would you put your hands on a dude like that? That rampage. But he's also hammered

because he was like, hey, bro, it's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So actually... Because he didn't of you. He's also a hammer because he was like, hey, bro, it's all good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So actually. Because he didn't hit him. He's like. I don't know if that guy should have hit him that hard. Maybe not that hard, but bro, you can't honestly.

He's close-fisted. True. He probably shouldn't have hit him that hard, but also you can't fault him for hitting him. Yeah, right, right, right. You can't. He also benches 700 pounds. So that's why he came out of two. I actually saw that.

I've never seen this. God, that looks like a green room that you would fucking play in Cleveland at a casino or some shit. You know what I mean? I'm sure you've covered this on other shows, but how are the hamstrings doing? That didn't end up. Getting better. I'll make the raise. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'll make the raise. I had you, bro. Thank you for bringing that up. They're not great. I thought you were going to win. Me too. Yeah, what happened? Both, bro. Thank you for bringing that up. They're not great. I thought you were going to win. Me too. Yeah, what happened?

Both hands blew. Did you stretch? You stretched? Not at all. Oh. This is why I fucked up. So you thought you were at the combine? Yeah.

I fucked up. I do. I worked. Me and Chappelle worked out legs that morning and ran two miles. We went and they chilled out. And then Brian was like, you guys race today, right? I'm like, you want to do it? She was like, fuck it.

Let's do it. And then right when we're about to was like, you guys are racing today, right? I'm like, you want to do it? She goes like, fuck it, let's do it. And then right when we're about to, people didn't see this. We start, and I take off, and she goes, no, you start early. Didn't start early. But my right hand went boink. I went, oh, fuck, dude, my hammies are tight. She goes, bro, we don't need to do this, man. We don't want to fuck up Tough Mudder.

He's like, who cares who's faster? I'm like, no, let's just do it. The camera's here. Fuck it, let's do it and then boom dude we're going i can feel it go just fucking so okay so you started the race i'm basically jose can say go i got peptides hgh i got fucking muscle relaxers you got a lot in you anti-inflammatories i hook up to a system every night i gotta make this tough this Tough Mudder, baby. Whiskey. This Saturday.

Coffee. Nicotine. Hold on, hold on, hold on. No carbs in three weeks. That's bad. So you started the race and then started it again? Yes. After I got hurt.

Okay. So right there, it's not doing. There, that's where it hurt. Oh, dude. Bad. With his shirt off. Not good. You want to get hit again? It does.

But I mean, just being, you know, if I was a fan watching and I don't know all this stuff, it kind of looks like he was about to win and then all of a sudden hamstring gate. I wish. I fucking wish, man. Why? I wish Chappelle would have just beat me. I didn't blow up my hammies, dude. No, it looked like you were waiting.

It's been neck and neck. No, no, no. Brendan Chubb is in the lead. I was a little head. In the me. I didn't blow out my hammies, dude. No, it looked like you were winning. It's being neck and neck. No, no, no. Brendan Chobb is in the lead. I was a little ahead. In the lead. I was a little ahead. Because also that angle would favor Chappelle anyway. And I'm still ahead. So, yeah, no.

Oh, dude, wait. Yeah, bro, he was gonna win. Bro, Eric. I wish, bro. I'm telling you, every night, I have to have a sports masseuse come to the house. Yeah, I saw that with the cups. I have to fucking hook my leg. Rich as shit.

Yep, cool. I have to have my legs hooked up. You like his halloween i'm like aaron rogers right now the mario it's a nightmare right yeah yeah yeah he does halloween where like they they have like the whole you know it's like the scooby-doo they bought a van you know what i mean he's like another famous person he's like there that's who i am i'll sit over here. This is my outfit. Go ahead, Kato Kaelin. Is that Justin Timberlake? I'm OJ Simpson.

OJ, go have fun with the kids. I'm fucking, yeah. I'm Sarah McLachlan. Go do shit. We got some King of the Stingings. Bro, hey, I'm joking around about this a lot, but it's actually true. This is the same guy.

He's just outside now. Bro, get... What's up with, like... Get a guy with, like, who's not... Why don't you like your bros? Get a tan guy who... Is the winner. Who doesn't have facial hair and no hat and no...

And, like, what the fuck is going on, dude? Yeah, it's just... Or a chick. Like, what's happening? Hey, man. All these guys. Welcome to Cats. Guys with beards pay for fucking tickets too, man.

Dude, imagine if I did this shit on congratulations. Motherfuckers would be like, hi, we're doing the thing. And chicks would be like, hey, bro, who the fuck are these motherfuckers? It's just guys, bro. Just bros. This is Austin. Nope. Get the fuck out. The bros. This is Austin. Nope. Get the fuck out. The last guy's name was Austin. Same name.

The last guy's name was Austin. It's true. I'm not lying. It's true. There's a lot of Austins out there, man. Hit it, Nick. Louisiana. I'm a plant operator out here working a 7-7 schedule. That's a tough schedule. I'm just thinking for you guys,

being away from home to work. The worst. I know a tough schedule. I was looking at a thing for you guys. Being away from home to work. The worst. I know a lot of you guys are on the road doing things like that. Not being away can be a good and a bad thing. Just wanted to get you guys' opinion. Wow. That's real work there. That's that war zone.

Eric's like, how can I shoot motherfuckers in here? It's so funny. Yeah, I was thinking that. You're like, ooh, war can I shoot motherfuckers in here? It's so funny. Yeah, I was thinking that. You're like, ooh, war zone. The road's tough. I'm good when it's like, and I have it dialed in now, where I'll do a weekend at the beginning of the month, weekend at the end of the month.

And I'll do sets around town in between that. But when you do like three weekends in a row, which I used to do, bro. I used to do it. Thursday through Sunday. It gets tougher depending on what you have at home. That's what it is. Dude, when you have kids. Bro, I don't.

And they're little. I don't get like guys like, I don't understand. Like, bro, now that I have Calvin and like a family at home, I haven't been away from Calvin for one night since he's been born. Oh, it's heartbreaking. And wait till they're old enough to realize you're like, my son will be in tears around my leg when I'm like at my luggage. I don't know, man.

But guys who do the road like there are comics that have families that are on the road every weekend insane but also if that's how you have to pay the bills

but it's not though some of these guys it's not no some of them just want to escape you know what I'm saying which I don't get I know I don't get it

I don't understand what are you laughing at oh no just looking at a video coming up next edition but yeah so it's so like you haven't started touring touring

wait till you do it it's difficult I know and I'm going to and I'm going to bring them but yeah so it's so like it like you haven't started touring going wait till you do it I know it's difficult I know and I'm going to and I'm going to bring them sometimes but you can't bring them all the time so like

it's fucking hard man I don't know how often are you on the road Eric I go like it'll be like two weeks out of two three weeks out of the month yeah three is a lot

two is doable two is doable three is a lot two is spread out though even like I don't got kids yeah yeah yeah but even still it's like

you know Rachel is all no no no it's Tux it's just like are you going again you know what I mean where do you have a kid

that's what I'm saying I know that's what I mean that's what I'm saying it becomes harder depending on who's that's where the pandemic showed me I'm like

oh I work too much me too the pandemic forced me to shut down and I'm like I'm on the road way too this isn't good

what do you need all that fucking money for like for what dude you need all that fucking money for like for what dude you have it all you already have it all yeah you got to slow down dude it's not my shit was all about oh just keep going don't stop oh they want me to go where okay fuck it i'll go if that's what they want bro i was gone so much what are you doing it for agree for what and that that's one of the bright sides we're all of this pandemic we're all equally as happy yeah you know i mean you can't you're not buying happiness no you're

happier when you're at home you're happier like in your schedule you're maybe you're more comfortable you got two three bathtubs now yep but it's like yeah you gotta remember what remember why i say don't say bathtub yeah i'm all about bathtub yeah i know shit i said it for you also um all right let's see another guy that looks the same holy fuck he does look the same way i mean you know what i mean patagonia carhartt hold on a second we're supposed to be four-kiting carhartt that's yeah carhartt some bitches well what's up because it's hip no carhartt they added vaccine mandates for their employees oh but that's everybody's doing that they're not though well nike did it you're fucking what do you got on

what do you got you gonna make a stand now i would that's an a shit tone now you got me yeah yeah that's the thing dude when it I will tell you this right now when it comes to a company doing something or this guy said that or this person

supported Trump fuck that whatever the fuck I don't give a fuck dude no if I like this shoe I buy the goddamn shoe dude

when people I walk around when Kanye was supporting Trump people were like you're gonna wear that fuck you dude the shoe's nice now have I worn my travis scott's

a ton since that happened if i tell you what i have i've worn travis scott shoes because you know why they're my favorite i wanted to i know me too fuck all that shit i don't know what happened yeah yeah i don't know that shit i agree pussy shit if you're not wearing travis scott because of the shit pussy shit agree oh bro they lit me up i talked about this on my podcast and they fucking you know i can't bro it's it how the fuck is it his fault agree any performer knows you know i'm saying you can't see shit i do a percentage of what the fucking crowd is doing you can't even see 50 000 people you can't see fucking can't see shit with 400 people if you do a theater you can't well they don't want they don't want to get into the details of the logistics of the whole thing they don't want to sit here and be like

okay well there was security that they did this and who who who let this slip and who let that it just becomes all bogged down so they just go who's the name let's blame him and then it feels better to do that yeah of course because he's at the top he's at the top but he's like people like he saw an ambulance and got and and here i am i. I'm like, well, if you're up there and you see an ambulance going to do the thing, then, oh, you're up there. You're like, oh, good. They're doing their job.

Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Or someone's dehydrated. Who knows what the fuck he was thinking? But imagine if they would have done this, though. If they would have said, let's shut it all down. People would have gone nuts.

There would be even more of an uproar. All right, what do you got, Nick? Just a couple more here. What's up, guys? Terry Moon out here in the beautiful Bloomsdale, Missouri. Wow. Just had a quick King of the Sea with you guys. Demolition derbies.

I've heard you guys talk about it a couple times. Never really gotten a full conversation on it. Have we talked about it? It's been a huge passion of mine since I was a kid. Absolutely love it. All right, let me know what you guys think. Did he win some awards? Smash, smash, baby.

Yeah, he got awards right there. Dude, I'll tell you right now, if you're going to be passionate about something, you do that shit. And if you're going to be doing Demolition Dermy, you better be the fucking best. For real. That's cool. That's cool. Is there somebody who's the best, though? Or do they just break their cars?

They just run into each other, right? Oh, wow. This is still a thing? I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know Monster Truck was a thing until I had kids. I went to Monster each other. Oh, wow. This is still a thing? I didn't know it was a thing. I didn't know monster truck was a thing until I had kids. I went to monster truck this past Saturday. Bro, you're talking about Angel Stadium sold the fuck

out. Backed. Quietly sold the fuck out. With the ugliest people you've ever seen. Yep. All there. So there was a lot of improv on Wednesday for you. There was a lot of this going on. Hey, man, gang, gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a lot of gang, gang going on. And you know where I'm at. I look at my girl and go, yeah yeah there was a lot of gang gang and you know where i'm at you guys look at my girl go yeah there's a lot of go brandon shirts here yeah there's so many wait

isn't it fuck you brandon no it's go brandon let's go brandon let's go let's go brandon right right right right right right right that's cool all right give me one more Nick I need to roll Alright Are you fucking kidding me Okay dude You did this on purpose You did I picked this one specifically Are you fucking shitting me dude Great beard though

Are you fucking shitting me I mean This is the cutest one though Look at these eyes What's going on with him Heart throb Yeah Heart throb

What's up gang Sam J here I gotta king it or sting it for you Guys that wear jeans with flip-flops Personally never do it my friend. Where is it 365 a year is your friend Brian count? I saw this guy. He was hilarious roasted him a little bit. It's all I wanted you can catch a full clip at Chrissy chaos comm slash patreon and Boys, I'm looking to be part of a chenders list

Those eyes make it work daddy. All right slash Patreon. And, boys, I'm looking to be part of a Tinder's list next week. With those eyes, I think we can make it work, Daddy. His friend. Listen, for your friend, the sandals are the least of his problems. You feel me? I have no problem with this. I'll tell you right now. In what...

In what world did we get so fucking comfortable where you think sandals is appropriate attire for the airport a comedy show dinner you're fucking you're open toe you know the shit out of your mind you know what the one time i i had something like that on and i went to like the bathroom in a urinal i'm pissed off and i realized how much pee gets on your foot. I was like, no more. It's like the amount of pee that are on all your shoes right now. I know that.

Yeah, for sure. When I was flying to, I think Australia or like maybe New York, a long flight and I was barefoot. I took my feet swell on the plane. So I was barefoot walking and I go in there and the stewardess, when I come out, she goes, honey, you know, that's not water on the ground, right? i come out she goes honey you know that's not water on the ground right i went why she goes it's never water on the ground you don't put on the first class socks no you gotta put the first class socks on hold on hold on what's up daddy you went into the bathroom thank you barefoot barefoot barefoot like a

savage fucking are you yeah are you a fan of yours? This is something that a troglodyte would do. Klingon. This is Klingon. Your hepatitis feet now. Now, I will say this. I've had all three variants of COVID. Original COVID, Omicron, and whatever the fuck.

He's got hep feet. Exactly. Hep feet. It's a title episode. Dude, listen. Okay. Hep feet. It sure is. Hep feet. Hold on. It's a title episode. Dude, listen. Okay. Pep feet. It sure is.

Pep feet. Hold on. You. Simplex 10. This is, I don't have a problem with any, like if you're going to go to a cafe and it's summer and you want to wear that. No, you can't. Why?

No, you can't. Why? Sandals for the beach. Okay. So you think sandals for the beach, period. The only beach. Okay. Okay.

If you're at a resort and you're on a beach and you walk into a cafe to get breakfast, you got your sandals on. You got a resort, though. That's what he's saying. That is what I'm saying. Sure, that's fine. Fair enough. If you go to like Groundworks off Main Street in sandals.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, don't do that. And if you put jeans on. I think, well, okay, but slides or anything with socks is okay, right? Like slides with socks out with jeans. Are you on 60 days in? Why are you dressed like that? Why do you have socks with sandals?

Love 60 days in. Yeah, me too. Love it. Well, I don't. I feel like the gigs up on it though. I don't. It's up. What do you mean?

What do you mean? What are you? Yeah, no, no. Exactly. So like there's cameras in the jail. You know 60 days in? Oh, no, I don't know what it is. So they put plants into the prison system.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah. The cameras. They call out too. Yeah, you on 60 days in? 60 days In? Oh, no, I don't know what it is. So they put plants into the prison system. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. The cameras. They call out, too. Yeah, you want 60 Days In? 60 Days In, motherfucker. Yeah, it's like, that shit's done. They're like, I think they're onto us.

And they got a code word. They'll go up to the camera and grab their neck if they need to get out of there. Yeah. They're like, this guy would never. Why the fuck would you want to go into prison? How about Homeboy, who did, so it's 60 Days In. After 60, he was running shit. He's like, I'm actually pretty comfortable. I'm going to do another 60. 60 he was running shit he's like i'm actually pretty

comfortable i'm doing another 60 does 120 days so he's on season one and two oh that's the dude that was like yeah then he did a third season he's just in jail it's 180 he basically murdered somebody he's in for 180 days gets out commits suicide oh yeah because are you shitting me i bet you somebody i don't even want to. It's him. That's what I'm saying, dude. But those are the guys that wear sandals with socks is my point. Full circle. No, but I think Chris is, he's kind of like skating around right now that he's got like some slippers at home.

Some like Yeezys. With some socks that he wears at home. That he wears out. I'm trying to think if I've worn, I don't think I've ever, I don't know if I've worn slippers and socks. I've never seen you. I don't know. I've worn slippers and socks I've never seen you I don't know I would light you up

I've never seen you but what about like Yeezys and shit he goes to get coffee with that shit on I don't give a fuck of the Gucci Louis Vuitton you can't wear open toes out in public

he's saying with socks on I'm saying with socks on so just you wear slides though no I don't you don't no okay

you don't never never interesting I don't know how i feel about it you've never seen me in sweats or slides outside the house for the rare instance i don't know how i feel about this all right i always have a take i don't have one i don't know i don't know you you know what dude guy with the eyes you've got me and And I'm pissed. I'm pissed. Feet. Is that it, Nick?

That's it. All right, kids, I'm in Atlanta next week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Atlanta punchline. Come get some ATL. And then end of February, I am in Sacramento. Get your tickets at FATKZ.com or Thickboy.com. Fight Companions available now with Chris D'Elia, myself, and Brian Cowan. Make sure you like, subscribe to Thickboy to watch all that stuff.

We got a special food truck dropping today. Eric, what do you got, Doug? I think it's Bloomington, Missouri. Is that a place? Yeah. Is that near Ozarks? You made it up. No, but yeah, I'm going to be in Missouri. Missouri's dope.

I love Missouri. Yeah, so check that out. What venue? I forgot to name it a place. Wow. Springfield. Springfield. Springfield, Missouri?

Oh, that's where the Simpsons is at. Yeah, I'm going to be in Springfield. Simpsons, actually. I have dates in Brea, California. When are you in Brea? February 18th and 19th. Oh, nice. Crystal Lee and Friends. Oh, I think I'm

around. Oh, really? I'm a friend. You guys are on if you want. I'm off middle of February. That'd be so fun. Let's do it. Let me see. February 18th. Yeah, I'm there. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. I'm there. You can do the last ones. I'm with San Diego. I'm in San Diego with you on Saturday after the Tough Mudder. Yes, that's right. Oh, if you want to run the Tough Mudder, Saturday, 10 a.m.

The Thick Mudder. We have seven spots left to run with my blown out hammies. Thick Mudder 10 a.m. The Thick Mudder. We have seven spots left to run with my blown out hammies. Thick Mudder 10 a.m. And then I got Irvine I'm going to do in April. But anyway, I don't know if the dates are up on my website. It's so far away though, you know. You're asking me. This is what I got, bro.

He's all Chicago, 2,027. Make sure you come on and get tickets. That's all I got. New Year's 2028. You know what, bro? Make sure you come on and get tickets. But that's all I got. Bro, I say this. New Year's. You know what, bro? New Year's, 2028. You know what, bro? And when it sells out,

everyone gets fucking mad. Oh, man. But it's what happens. Everyone's like, ad shows in San Diego. I'm not fucking doing it. Thanks for watching, everybody. We'll see you next week.

I don't know if it's up yet, but you better fucking wait with bated breath. See you next week. Love you. We'll see you next week. The Thing and The Sting, back with The Crew. We got Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, Brendan, Theo Toon. Yeah, you know how we do it, so just tune in for the laughs. Theo said that he was on his way, but ran out of gas.

Stevie Weeby used to wrestle down at Pallway. Now he only pinning boys in the hallway. This ain't the greatest show on earth and what you call that? Eric Griffin with him, he the Nate, dog a podcast Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, the whole crew sick, it's the King and the Stink What up, Chin? What up, Nick? Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, just walked in and got it lit

You can't forget about Brendan, he still need everything Thick, thick, thick Still got the B's and the trap trapping Still the King and the in the sting so quit asking If you know then you know it's a cat's thing Ball and chain, hair swang like the rat king King in the sting, back with the crew We got Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, Brendan Theo too Yeah you know how we do it so just tune in for the laughs Theo said that he was on his way but ran out

of gas King and the Sting King and the Sting King and the Sting King and the Sting