The Golden Hour - Episode 16: The Mile High Dump

Episode Date: April 18, 2019

Theo's back from his first UFC and now sees Brendan in a new light. The guys discuss their Poirier vs Holloway bet and talk taking a dump in public restrooms, Theo's movement to stop technology, Brendan's fear of Steven Seagal, talking with Uber drivers, dating advice from Brendan, Theo and Cat, mumble rap vs Lyrical rap, school lunch vs home lunch and much more.https://www.shipstation.com Promo code: KATSLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

back off my broccolini get your life together it is don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude i am a wanted let's go dog all right jesus man sorry dude i was texting with uh Sorry dude I was texting with You got that? Wesley Snipes? No I was just texting with Jesus Christ just hit me up DM me

Oh what did he say? I'm not white He says he's coming back Oh cool And I said we know We're just kinda We're kinda waiting here Kinda waiting here

Sunday's coming up Kinda milling around Easter Sunday's coming up I've got cabaret eggs Up the gazoo Let's go here bud so yeah man how you doing man i'm at the houston jersey bro oh thank you man there's a friend on the back is that a nolan ryan nope oh rat king number 80 yeah why the number 80 that is you you're born uh raton el rey uh i'm not sure some guy who not sure. Some guy who just got in a sober liver detox dropped this off at the Houston Improv Forum. Dude, that's dope.

He's like, dude, I'm fucked up. I love it, man. I'm fucked up. Have the jersey. I love it, man. Yeah, it's really cool, man. Really, really cool. How were the fights?

Your first UFC experience, dude. I saw you back there yelling, get in there. Did you? Yeah. I saw you back there yelling, get in there. Did you? Yeah. I did. You know how I singled you out? Because I saw fucking Santino's red hair. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, oh, there's Theo. Santino is just, I mean, you could see him from a million miles away. He's kind of like one of those road flares that people put out when there's an accident. Just fucking bright red. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, just a spray of violent red, too. Did you have fun at the fights? Dude, it was crazy, man.

Bro, I couldn't. Well, a couple times I called the police. I was like, there's two men that will not stop fighting. You know? I was like, yeah, during the one, I was like, there's a black guy that keeps hitting this Mexican guy. Won't stop. Will not stop, yeah. Won't stop kicking him in the leg.

No one's doing anything about it. It's assault. There's one guy. Won't stop. Will not stop, yeah. Won't stop kicking him in the leg. No one's doing anything about it. It's assault. There's one guy that keeps stopping him. There's one guy. Yeah. The cop went, sir, where are you? I'm at a UFC fight. I'm at State Farm Arena, brother, okay?

And you guys should be down here. There's a couple of you buddies around here just milling around. Milling around. I'm about to fire a gun at one of these guys. Was it more violent or less violent? Going in, what did you think you were going to see? around. I'm about to fire a gun at one of these guys. It was crazy, man. More violent or less violent? Going in, what did you think you were going to see? I told you, I went, now listen, watch on TV is one thing.

Seeing it in person, especially when you have Rogan's seats, it's intense. First of all, you feel like you're in the back of, like Rogan is driving you somewhere and you're in the back of his car. You feel like you're his kids. You're like just sitting there. It's a Universal Studios ride or some shit.

It's the Rogan experience. Do I cheer? Do I not? Am I being good? Do I ask dad for popcorn? What do I do? And Rogan's up there eating rare meat. He's eating fucking cheetah limbs and whatever else.

Drinking the blood. Somebody will bring in a tray of blood from fucking Tibet. Between rounds. Fucking TRT in his fucking size. Bro, how much he works during the fight is pretty crazy. Like I couldn't even, for five hours, I couldn't even communicate with him. I had one moment of communication. Non-stop.

Yeah, because he like does the thing and then runs into the ring to do the interview, runs out. He's the best to ever do it. Yeah, I mean, he just, it just doesn't stop. He's real seamless. Did you meet DC? No. He's from Louisiana? I know, I know. By the time I got to maybe meet him, it was the end of the night, and I just

felt like he was probably pretty tired. He would have liked to see you, though. He's a great dude. Oh, man. I'm a huge fan. Dude, you were crunk about Poirier. You're that little Poirier fucking lot lizard. dude oh my god oh hell no we got one mama we got one i was like what is happening right here why is theo acting like dude i was you had your little flat tits all perked up you hiked your shorts up like oh my god it's the diamond it's the diamond. It's the diamond.

What were you watching, bro? Dude, I was watching your Instagram video. Yeah, I saw Dustin go like this. What's up, bro? Yeah, cool, man. He didn't even know you. He's like, all right, yeah, thanks, handsome lady. I did feel like there was a point where I just felt like a lot lizard.

Dude, I'm burning. I mean, because now I use the terms you can't use it this episode, okay? Burning it could be anything. Like, yeah, this lady made me a sandwich. He's like, oh, these lot lizards. He's a lot lizard, bro. Like how my grandmother died. He's like, oh, these lot lizards. He's a lot lizard. My grandmother died. He's like, oh, these lot lizards are dying.

It blew my mind, man. It blew my mind how I woke up, actually two nights ago, I woke up and watched the fight again on YouTube. It was nothing compared to how insane it was in person.

It gave me a different respect for fighters. Like, just the fact that it's like, just to come out round after round. Like, sometimes the round would be ending, and I'd be like, oh, my God. They got three more? Yeah. Yeah. And you could see they were kind of, like, elated the round was ending because they were tired. But then I'm like, dude, you have to come right back.

Five minutes, that guy's whooping your ass. He can go right back after. The principal's not going to come out and stop this shit. Some say it's the worst job in the world. Depends who you talk to. Yeah. It's intense, dude. But, yeah, I was excited for Dustin.

I think like. Great story. Yeah. It was a great story. And just to see Max Holloway. I was excited for Dustin. I think, like. Great story. Yeah, it was a great story. And just to see Max Holloway, I mean, his confidence. Dude, he kept fighting. I mean, both of them just kept fighting. They could have fought all night, I bet. That's crazy for your first fight.

You got those two fights as a main event and co-main event. You're lucky. Really? Yeah, super lucky. Yeah. Sometimes it can be a bummer. Yeah, I mean, well, Brandon Davis came out right in the beginning, the first fight on the prelims,

and those guys beat the shit out of each other. I felt like they were just like, it was almost spousal. I couldn't tell who the woman was, but there was a lot of spousal. There's a lot going on. Domestic violence. Blood everywhere. Some guy needed a blood transfusion. He was standing by the ring with his mouth open.

And he fucking caught a couple pints, and then he went home. It's type O, you know. Oh, he looked great when he left. Oh, perfect. But yeah, that fight was, and that was the first one. It was, you know, there wasn't even that many people there at that point. Yeah, people come late. Go to a fight in Vegas.

People don't show up to the main event. It's so disrespectful. Like watch a fight in Vegas. Usually you'll see like behind Rogan, empty, empty, empty. Then like by the third card on the main card, you know, by the third fight, people start filling in. I'm like, you'll see behind Rogan, empty, empty, empty. Then by the third card on the main card, by the third fight, people start filling in. I'm like, you fucking assholes. Yeah. They just wait for that main event.

Dude, I can't- Some Hollywood shit. Yeah, Shaq came in with about maybe three fights left. God damn. Shaquille came in. He's such a hassle. Yeah. You're going to come and watch three fights?

I know. You're lucky Shaq didn't sit in front of you, bro. Oh, he sat in front of somebody. Diamond Dallas Page. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. But Diamond Dallas has that yoga, so he just kind of fucked. Dallas does that yoga, but he also can't see anyways.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. His eyes are a little like, you know those dogs with cataract? That's what Diamond Dallas Page was saying. So he just has no idea. He thought a fight was going on staring at Shaq's fucking neck. Shaq's neck was fighting. He's like, damn, it's only black guys on this card. It's all black card, huh?

That's cool. It's Atlanta. That makes sense. There we go. It's like pray per view. He's just praying he can see anything. Dude, I had Steven Seagal sit in front of me. No way.

I had Steven Seagal, and he's big. Dude, he's the white Shaq. Yeah, and wears some bullshit clothes. And I was with a bunch of UFC fighters. And someone kept standing up in the chair, and we couldn't see. And this was in Toronto. And someone goes, say something, Sean. I'm like, I don't want to say something.

They go, dude, just say something. They push me, and I go, sit down, bitch. I went like this. He turned around. I was like, mm-mm, mm-mm. I was so scared. I was scared, bro. Why wouldn't you say, hey, Steven, we're just going to try to enjoy the fight.

We better be mine just trying to sit down. Because I didn't want to get a death touch to the neck, bro. Haven't you ever seen in his videos in Russia? Just fucking chopping dudes. I didn't want that. Dude, he beat up 19 guys on a shady cruise ship in Russia like 40 years ago. No, dude, he's still posting shit. He's scary.

And he had the yellow glasses on and squinty little eyes, man bun. Oh, yeah. Double chin. Oh, yeah, he's getting big, dude. It looks like he just recently fought Emeril Lagasse. It looks like he could maybe beat Emeril Lagasse if he took the ladle out of Emeril's hands. I'm just saying, man, we were all scared of him. I spoke up.

I was a hero that night. But, dude, definitely, it gave me a little bit of a different respect for you. I can't believe you didn't. I owe you money. Oh, yeah, you do. I want to bet a grand. Yeah. And that was no disrespect against Dustin.

Yeah, sure it wasn't. I just wanted to make it fun for us. Sure it wasn't. Yeah, guy, sure. I'm trying to give you money to cut your hair. They didn't believe in you, Dustin, okay? You're bullshit. Dustin's on my show tomorrow.

You bet $1,000 that you didn't believe in him. No. I believe in Max Holloway, bro. Look, and I believe in Max Holloway. No, you don't. You don't believe in Max Holloway. That's why you took the bet, you son of a bitch. Max, I hope you're watching. It is what it is, bro.

$40. $50. We did make it $50. I'll give you $40. $50. We did make it $50. $50. I'll give you $50. And I put $300 on Poirier online.

I don't believe that. Should we get into the episode? Sportsbetting.ag. But, dude, definitely, I can't believe you used to do that, dude. Me neither, bro. What were you doing out there? I had no other. I have no idea. I don't know.

I was just running around like a chicken with my head cut off and just fucking, ah, why? What was your fashion move? My dad would call the cops. My dad would, so I'd get out in the cops like, you all right? And then I never got paid. Yeah, that's, oh, that was another thing that I felt, man. Bro, no joke. I don't get like bad vibes around that many people, but Dana White, I was grateful to be at his event.

I know it's their business, but somebody should start a different company or something. The bad juju? Dude, it's bad. Have you ever been around a promoter before? It just feels dirty. It felt dirty. It's almost like when you're around a drug dealer a little bit. Yeah.

You're just like, I just feel it's like a darkness. I don't care if the drug dealer have Coke and a little bit of aspirin You're just like, I just feel it's like a darkness. I don't care if the drug dealer have, you know, coke and a little bit of aspirin. But if he only got coke and he's not trying to help at all either and he's just getting you hooked. If you don't have that Tylenol PM. Yeah. It just seemed like I just didn't trust him. You know, that was the thing.

I don't know him and maybe that's wrong of me to say. Nor should you. Yeah. Nor should you. Especially if you're a fighter. Yeah. That's the thing. It just seemed like he controlled. You know what he seemed me to say. Nor should you. Nor should you. Especially if you're a fighter. Yeah, that's the thing. It just seemed like he controlled.

You know what he seemed like to me? He was a slave owner in a weird way. That's exactly what he is. That's exactly what he is. And nondescript. And no color to slaves or anything like that, but just that. The worldwide slave trader. And I feel like there's a better way.

It felt to me, business-wise, which I don't know fucking anything. I got beat up by Brad Castleman when I was in fucking sixth grade. And then this other guy who ended up being a cop, who I think ended up beating some people, hit me a couple times in math class or something. It still counts, though. Yeah, so I'm 0 for 2. Headshots are headshots. I'm 0 for 2.

But, dude, I did fall off a fucking roof one time when I was painting and land on a guy. And he got knocked out. That counts? So that's 2. I'm 1 in 2. We call it a DDT on a guy and he got knocked out. That counts. So that's two, I'm one in two. We call it a DDT, a country DDT. Oh, dude, definitely.

Bro, he got paint in his fucking eyes, bro. Fuck yeah, what's up now, bro? And he was never the same after that, but I say he was never the same before that. Yeah, what's up now, bro?

Yeah, it's a weird business, dude. Yeah, it just felt like a dirty business, but that's like, but in the ring, there's nothing, you know. I don't know. I don't know how you beat that.

Let me ask you this, Theo. I mean, this is too serious for this type of podcast. When you watched what Dustin went through and what Max Holloway went through, how much do you think they should have made that night? When you watched what Stylebender and Kelvin Gaslam went through. Oh, my God. Kelvin Gaslam, that guy fought basically the Usain Bolt of fucking UFC in board shorts. In board shorts.

He's a small Mexican dude. Dude, they should have let him be on a horseback or something up there against the guy. At least give him a chainsaw. Yeah, give him a boat paddle or something. Like, give him some weapon. Yeah. You see? It's unfair. They something. Like, give him some weapon. Yeah. You see? It's unfair. They let that guy and bro, he was fearless. How tough is he?

To me, he was the toughest guy of the night by far. Correct. Why are you Stahlbender's toughest? Well, dude, between Max, Dustin. He beat the fuck out of Stahlbender. Oh, fucking Eric Anders got lit the fuck up against Khalil Roundtree and was just like, I'm just going to keep going.

Yeah, Eric Anders. I was like, bro, I tapped out for him. I even hit his mom up on Instagram and was like, hey, Eric. I DM'd it too. I was like, if you have a towel, just throw it from wherever you're at. From wherever you're at, mom. See if it works. God, it was intense.

I'll watch it different and we'll move on after. I think those guys should get a half mil each, the top guys. Half mil? That ain't shit. Those guys should become safer. But here's the thing. If you think a million people bought in, 80 bucks a pop. A million people didn't buy in.

A million people didn't. So maybe if 300,000 people paid to watch at 80 bucks a pop, then you're looking at still that's $22 million. So $22 million. Then think of the ESPN money that ESPN gives the UFC to air that pay-per-view. Then think of all the sponsors. You know how the Octagon looks like a NASCAR? The fighters don't see any of that money.

Then think of the Reebok gear that they're wearing. The fighters don't see any of that money. Does the UFC pay for their coaches? Do they pay for the guys' coaches? No. Oh, you're kidding me. No. You get one coach to fly you and one coach to the event. What can you do, man?

Entertainment. Man, it hurts my feet. Yeah, it just feels wrong. But it doesn't take away from what those guys do out there. It doesn't take away from the fact that they go out there and are champions. But, yeah, if that's the rates, man, they should get a million bucks at Pop Easy. You know? Yeah.

All right, let's get into it, man. But yeah, congratulations to all the fighters, man. It made me, it gave me a whole different respect. Dude, I actually went to work out this morning, and there was a couple times where I wanted to give up today, and I was like, I just thought of even just any of those guys out there. I was like, damn, even Boston Salmon, dude, named after a fucking. Great name.

Yeah, named after a fucking. Great name. A fucking item, a menu item. Like Boston Market, Boston Salmon. Yeah, think about that, dude, just. A fucking item, a menu item. Like Boston Market, Boston Salmon. Yeah, think about that, dude. Just naming somebody off of a fucking menu item. And he worked out today. Grilled cauliflower.

Who's next? He worked out. Oh, yeah. He worked out today. Yeah. And yeah, it just blew my mind, man. It was a very impressive sport. But seeing that they are live, it's way more intense and way more violent.

My dad used to hold his breath when I'd fight. Really? Yeah. He could hold his breath for about 15 minutes. Is your dad a shark? He's a whale. Oh, is he really? Right on.

All right, let's do this. The old underwater father, huh? I can see it. Still a mammal, though, bro. I can see it. Still a mammal, man. But yeah, man, much more respect to you, bro. Don't fucking touch me, dude. Get out of you, bro. Don't fucking touch me, dude.

Get out of here, brother. Don't fucking touch me. I'm going to tap out. What up, fellas? Start with some King of the Stingit. This first one comes from Jack Undercoffler. Jack Undercoffler. Yo, what's going on, Theo, Brendan?

It's your boy, Jack. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. So I had a King of the Stingit. I used to be an Uber driver and one thing about being an Uber driver is you have the same fucking conversation

over and over all day every day 365 days a year and so what I started doing to avoid that was I would put on a podcast just slightly too loud so the person in the back would kind of have to yell a little bit to talk

and it just kind of made it inconvenient enough that they just wouldn't talk. It's amazing. It worked really well. But I wanted to get you guys' thoughts. King it or sting it, conversations with your Uber driver. Dude, this fucking list. Wow, what a quality move.

Great move. I went to Legoland and people were yelling out, buzz fucking list. Wow, what a quality move. Great move. Dude, I went to Legoland and people were yelling out, buzz, buzz. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Your kid probably thinks you're an alcoholic, dude. Or he thinks I'm a giant bumblebee. Did you take your kid? Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you also seem like the kind of dude that would be at Legoland. Just shows up. Dude, you're dressed like you work at fucking Legoland, bro. Me, bro? Dude, are you shitting me? You're like Nolan Cock Ryan. No, don't fuck with me, papa. Holmes.

You know what I'm saying, bro? I'll fucking fight you in an abandoned car wash, bro, in Tucson. Dude, first of all, Uber drivers, I find it annoying when they talk to me every time, especially when I just want to chill. Or if you're going to the airport and you know you've got a 30-minute drive, you're like, fuck, dude. Yeah. You know what? It's weird because sometimes, most of the time, I don't want to talk because I just want to do some work or I want to do a little meditation.

Just to talk for a living. Right. Yeah. It's like, dude, I just got out of a shitty conversation with a guy who fucking calls himself The Sting. You know what I'm saying? For an hour and a half. I spent an hour with a guy that looks like he's from a fucking 80s rock band.

Yeah, dude. He's from Louisiana. And he has CT. And he's never played a sport in his life. Dude, and I was... He grew up playing tennis by himself. I was bored with CT, bro. Dude, I grew up...

Yeah, I just had an hour and a half conversation with an 80s rock. So, I fucking... Dude, you were bored with CT an hour and a half conversation with an 80s rock. So, fucking. Dude, you were born with CT. When your mom was pregnant with you, she'd just fucking roll down hills. Oh, whatever, dude. Your mom would do cartwheels every Monday to give you CT. Bro, you have the same DNA as shale, okay?

You're fucking, hey, you are a fucking human boulder. You look at a never-ending story that's like, bro, come here. Hey, remember that time you went to a UFC fight and you became a whore when the fighters walked out of the octagon? Whatever, dude. Oh, my God! What was the question? Dude, I was excited, you idiot, and you can't. Actually, you've been there before, you fucking lot lizard.

I did. I've fucking been there before. And that's two lot lizards already, you idiot. Hashtag lot lizard. And I'll say this, though, dude. The whole time of the fight. You look like an Uber driver. Some guy behind me just yelled the whole time, Rat King, the whole time.

Never watched the fight. Just trying to get my attention. Finally, bro. Turn around, bro. Finally, the nine fights in, I turned around. He's like, love you, brother. That was that, dude. Literally, the nine fights in, I turned around. He's like, love you, brother. That was it, dude. Literally, the dude missed five hours of fighting.

But there was a lot of fans there, man. A lot of people yelling gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I love it, man. It was awesome. I was in a jungle gym. This other dad with his kids was like, you look like shit, bro. I'm like, thanks, man. He goes, buzz, buzz.

I'm like, all right, man. All right, dude. Thank you. I'm like, kid, man. He goes, buzz, buzz. I'm like, all right, man. All right, dude. Thank you. I'm like, kid, man. No, dude. Look, you got to roast Brendan when you see him in the world. Look, Jack Undercoffer, which is also an old sex move of mine. The old Jack Under?

Yeah. I say no chatting. But here's the thing, though. If you don't talk to them, are you okay with them playing whatever music they want to play? Yeah, I like it. But sometimes, every now and then, I'll get Uber driver, especially when I travel out of state, that will drop some motherfucking knowledge on you. Really? Like, you'll just be driving, like, on your right is where actually the first, and they'll just go through all the city shit.

It's pretty dope. That's true. Last night I had a guy like that. That's very rare. That's very rare. That's very rare. Yeah. But that's so funny to hear from his perspective that they get the same conversation, bro. I didn't even think about that.

People probably giggle. How's your day? People say the same thing. It's like groundhog say. Fuck, dude. People just say the same thing a million times. So what do we do? He said, can't understand it, right?

Can't understand it? Conversation with the Uber driver? Sting it. Sting it. On to the next one, guys. This next one comes from Andrea Mayo. Damn, what's up? Andrea from Halifax, Nova Scotia in Canada.

I ain't going to wear a condiment. How are you hearing me? And my question for you guys to King or Sting is artificial intelligence. I listen to Joe Rogan podcasts, so I've been hearing him and Elon Musk talk about it, and I just kind of think maybe we should slow down. Fake news, girl. But I'd like to hear you guys' opinions. I love that sweatshirt.

He's a fan of the podcast. Buzz, buzz, gang, gang. She said buzz, buzz first. Yes. She likes me more. So artificial intelligence. Buzz, buzz, love you, Brendan. All right.

Thank you. Thank you. Good to see you, girl. Good to see you call in. AI, where are you at on this? AI, the only hope for intelligence for Brendan, first of all. The only thing about AI is when your mom would make you watch Terminator. That's probably true.

Let me think. Artificial intelligence. I think we should stop technology. I think we have enough right now. We're letting robots and battery-powered and electric-powered things overcome the value of being a human. I agree. It's too much, man. Yeah, it's too much.

And what's the goal? What's next? You want to build robots so that we just get rid of humans? Yeah. In an all-robot world? That's the Terminator plot. Hey, Siri, will you turn my phone off? Let's see if it'll listen.

It says no, bro. Oh, she doesn't understand Ebonics, so that's cool. Hey, Siri, will you turn my phone off? It's a fucking place. Well, your phone doesn't work, so you don't have Siri on that either. Yeah, I might not have Siri. Oh, this is a Samsung. Oh, that's an Android.

It's an Android. Here's the other thing about AI and artificial intelligence, and when people are like, we're in a simulation. People who say we're in a simulation are only rich people. Only rich people or people who are doing well go, we're actually in a simulation, man. It's crazy. You think? Yeah, you don't hear anyone work at McDonald's going, bro, we're in a simulation. They're not making fucking Big Macs and fucking McNuggets going, this is cool, man.

We're in a simulation. It's all good, baby. Broke people, they don't think it's a simulation. That's not true. I was outside of Natchez, Mississippi one time, and I was at a McDonald's. And they had a fella, and he said, it was a black gentleman working around the county. He said, hey, bro, we're in a simulation. Watch this.

And he took a McRib and threw it at the back of a kind of Rubenesque woman who was walking out to the play area. It was smoke. And he goes, this lady's going to get pissed. Watch this. And he fucking threw it. It's a simulation. Hit the lady. She got fucking pissed. He was smoke. And he goes, this lady's going to get pissed. Watch this. And he fucking threw it. Hit the lady. She got fucking pissed. He called it. Yeah, he called it. That's a psychic. That's a psychic. Oh, that's a Babe Ruth

of fucking bad food right there. Well, that's that McRib psychic. Oh, dude. There ain't nothing like a McRib either. That's how you know AI is fucking real. Well, that's the thing too. It's like, and they tempt a lot of the urban community. The McRib is back. The McRib is back. Oh my God.

You're talking about the jello shaped as a fucking rib? Yeah. It's a fucking mold of a rib if you think about it. You're talking about

the snot you molded into a fucking rib? Oh bro, it's not that bad. And doused in barbecue sauce? Derek, what do you think about the McRib, man?

The McRib, go hard, bro, bro. Go hard. Dude, you set him up for that one, bro. What do you think of the McRib, man? McRib? Go hard, bro, bro. Go hard. Dude, you set him up for that one, bro. What do you think of the McFilet? The McFilet? No, I don't like fish.

Yeah, the McFish. They don't like it. What do you mean, they? Yeah, what? Huh? Cat, what do you think of the McFish? Oh, she loves it. I'm a big Mac girl.

Wow. See, they're changing, man. People are changing. People are changing. See, it's like a melting pot in here. It is. I asked two white guys when I said McFilet, they went. changing, man. People are changing. People are changing. See, it's like a melting pot in here. It is. I asked two white guys when I said McFilet, they went... Oh, yeah.

It's called a McFish. McFilet. Is it? Pretty sure. I think it's Fish Filet. Ah, it's a combo. Look at us. Is it?

Teamwork makes the dream work. What else we got? Fucking King this girl. King AI. Fuck the Earth. No, sting artificial intelligence, dude. We don't have any more real intelligence. We don't have any more real intelligence.

Some people think there's flat Earth. Next one. Coming from. Which there could be. You do, bro. You do. No. You dress like you just found out the Earth is round.

First of all, flat Earth, let's be honest, came out of the urban community, dude. And I'll say that, man. You think? Dude, the first time I ever heard of it. I think a crazy white guy came up with Flat Earth. Not a chance. And then Kyrie Irving went, that sounds good. No, black people have been saying that for years.

Because I had to dupe for half a semester. That I know. Black people have? Four years ago, yes. I was at a pizza place. It was around midnight. Two black guys sat me down and said, hey, man, we got something to tell you. And I thought they'd fucking kidnap my girl.

See, I thought they were going to rap. Well, oh, yeah. But it was. They said, hey, man, Flat Earth. And I sat there for 40 minutes, dude. And laughed about it? Well, at first, I thought Flat Earth was like a new rapper. Oh, that's little Mick Flat Earth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little Flat Earth, bro. Little Flat Earth, bro. But then, by the end, bro, I believed them. I bought into it, bro. That makes sense. It's like the Masons, man. No, that, yeah. A little flat earth, bro. A little flat earth, bro. But then by the end, bro, I believed them. I bought into it, bro. That makes sense. It's like the Masons, man. No, that makes sense.

Yeah, no, that makes sense. And then I bought a Mason ring. Because you went only to fourth grade. Yeah. They came up to me, I ought to slap the fuck out of them boys. Really? When it's round. Oh, you're a real.

It's round. You're a real grade master, dude. Nobody believes you did a lot of grades. Dude, grade master? Yeah, they're called degrees, bro. Fuck. Miss Bond. Our next one is coming from Body Hines.

Body Hines. Body Hines. Shout out to the Chops. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, dog. Brendan, Theo. It's your boy, Bodie, here in Oklahoma City.

Coming at you with a king in the sting. Shitting in public. And I'm not talking about, and I feel I'm not talking about going in a bush and taking a shit or on the side of the street. I'm talking about Walmart, McDonald's, all that shit. Shitting in something like that. For me, I can't do it. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a... I don't know, bro.

But anytime I go in and I can smell the ass of the person before me... It's called shit, bro. It's called rough ride. I just can't do it, man. So, really interested to see what you guys have to say about it. I love both of you. Listen to all your podcasts.

Anytime they drop, they're in my ears. So I love you guys. Appreciate what you guys are doing. Keep it up. And gang, gang, buzz, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, man. Thank you, brother. Hook them horns.

Nice guy, Bodhi, and I appreciate that. And also, Derek called you body. So let's start there, Derek. Body up, bro. How does he spell it? B-O-D-H-I. Now, I'm regretting how I said it now. Not regretting. I really regret it. That's what I'm saying, Derek. Body it up, bro. How does he spell it? B-O-D-H-I. Now, I'm regretting how I said it now. I'm really regretting it.

Shitting in public restaurants. Where you at on this? Well, look, man, it depends, dude. I think if you can stand and do it, there's that kind of Polynesian kind of style where you can put your stand on the toilet. It's called a sumo squat. If you can do that with your feet on the things.

Almost like a frog. Yeah. In Africa, if you go to Africa, you go to South Africa, they just have a hole in the ground. You can just squat over it pretty calm and chill. But I wouldn't recommend shitting in a train station downtown Tucson. Or any Dunkin' Donuts. Something got on the back of my legs there from the toilet seat.

It had one of those Steel toilet seats Like the floor Just turns into the toilet seat Oh yeah I know what you're talking about There's no All in one Yeah it's just all

The whole building Is just all in one The walls turn into the floor Turns into the toilet Turns into the devil It's a simulation bro Oh dude And there was

Yeah there was a lot of Mystic writing And stuff on the wall But I got some Severe burns On the back of my legs from sitting on that toilet. Dude, you look like the type of dude that writes on bathroom walls. I've done that. Do you know anyone who writes on bathroom walls?

Yeah, bro. People over time. History. Hieroglyphics. Ah, dude. When you're on, you're on, man. You're an idiot. Sometimes you got to shit, you got to shit, man.

I'm never scared. That's nothing. That's nothing. But I'm not scared to do it. That's what I'm saying. I don't care. Sometimes you got to shit, you got to shit, man. I'm never scared. That's nothing. That's nothing. But I'm not scared to do it. That's what I'm saying. I don't care. Sometimes you got to be a little hesitant if you're shitting in a club, if you're shitting at a KFC, a Waffle House, a game like a UFC fight because you might get in there with

the wrong crowd and then under, they'll do this. They'll just tap and that means they're down to suck you off. Really? Dropping turds and sucking dick. What? Yeah. It's Morris Code. It's Morris Code, Theo. For what? I'm trying to help you out. For that haircut. For more what? Wiener? Yeah, bro.

If it's two foot, it means come to my stall. If it's one foot, I'll come to yours. It's Morris Code, bro. So all I'm saying, if you're going to drop trowel in public places, know the rules, bro. Don't get mad when your dick's getting sucked when you're dropping a load. Because if you engage in that sort of vernacular. What are you talking about?

You don't know what I'm talking about? This is life, bro. You're a law lizard. Yes. No, I'm not, dude. Law lizard for four times. What? You're out of your mind, bro. What are you doing? Do you know what I'm not, dude. Wild Lizard for fourth time. What? You're out of your mind, bro.

What are you doing? Do you know what I'm talking about? Brendan, how many dudes have tried to fuck you in a bathroom? A bunch, dude. Really? Yeah, I'm fending them off. It's my training for the UFC. Just slapping dicks like this, fucking.

Oh, my God. You're going to hell, man. Gotta live a little, man. Yeah, well, you're going to be living in hell, bucko. Well, I'd fucking kink shitting on in public places. Bodie, I... You gotta go. You gotta go. Planes? I don't give a fuck. Yeah.

Oh, I won't shit on a plane anymore. The mile-high dump? I know well enough... What? What's up, baby? I know well enough to shit before the plane leaves. Or then defecate after the plane lands. I'm not one of those weirdos. Just because I'm in the air for three hours means I have to then defecate after the plane lands. I'm not one of those weirdos.

Just because I'm in the air for three hours means I have to go defecate. Dude, I used to shit outside, and I used to bury this guy's shit for a long time in his yard when I was a kid. Dude, if I'm flying Spirit because it's so insulting, the shitty seats they give you in service, I just blow up those bathrooms just for the fuck of it. Wow. Yeah. Suck it, spirit. It's hard to eat. And Southwest, for that matter. I don't like doing number twos in the air because it just seems like it's just against

God, I feel like. It tends to feel natural. I'll give you that. Yeah, you shouldn't be doing dookie while you're flying at 300 miles an hour. 300. In the air. Yeah. How fast do you think planes go?

This is going to be great. 600 miles an hour. Wow. Unbelievable, man. Will you How fast do you think planes go? This is going to be great. 600 miles an hour. Wow. Unbelievable, man. Will you look it up? Yeah, I can look it up. I bet it's 4... No, you just said 300. I bet it's 425. You said 300. Yeah, and I might have not known.

You were pretty close. 575 miles an hour. Oh, wow. Seems like someone has an education here. Between like that and 740. Oh, wow. Seems like someone has an education here. Go on to the next one. Wow. King shit in the air. Only 11 episodes.

I'm going to say King it, man. Also, the big move is doing that Clint Eastwood is when you no door on the stall and you shit at a place. Ooh, you're talking about that country western shit? Oh, yeah, dude. No, no, no, no, no. See, again, you're asking for trouble, man. Really?

Yeah, you got to know the code. No, that's that freaking old school. That's that freaking Johnny Splash, baby, when you fucking take the door off a stolen ticket dump, dude. Yeah, John Wayne Wayne. That's that wild boy. Yeah. That's that fucking, yeah.

That's not for me, man. Really? What else you got? No. All right, up next, we got relationship advice. Ah, yeah. Up first, we got Valerie from Houston, Texas. Oh, she sounds pretty.

Valerie is cute. Shout out to Houston. I'm a 19-year-old in college who has never been in a relationship. Damn, girl. And is super virgin. How do I get a boyfriend? Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzz, girl. She said she's super rude. She's a virgin. No, super virgin. Super like she doesn't have, she's never had a boyfriend. She has no game, nothing. God, she's a cute girl. Yeah.

Go ahead, Thiel. I don't know on this one. 19 years old. 19? It's not that old. No, no, no. I need more info. Do we have any more info on it? It's not that old. What, no, no. I need more info. Do we have any more info on it?

It's not that old. What do you mean? Meaning like 19, alright, so you haven't kissed a boy or had a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's all good, baby. I thought you were saying like it's too like, oh, 19's not that old. Yeah, I don't know. She was at the University of Houston? She a cougar? She didn't say what college she went to, but she's

definitely in college. Any other info? She should be a cool homie to chill with. What she's a Houston? Is she a Cougar? Let's see. She didn't say what college she went to, but she's definitely in college. Any other info? She should be a cool homie to chill with. That could be the problem. Well, what she's asking for is that man. And Derek, what do you got? What do you think of it? Are you a predator? I mean, she's cute.

She needs to just go outside and just talk to a dude. Go to a library. Talk to one of them nerdy dudes. They're fucking cumming their pants talking to this girl. Look at her. You know what I mean? Nerdy dudes can fuck, too. Yeah, the grateful type. They're fucking cumming their pants talking to this girl. Look at her. You know what I mean? Nerdy dudes can fuck, too. The grateful type. They put it down.

They've been jacking off so much thinking of a girl, so finally when they get there, they're ready. Really? They put in the work, bro. No, nerdy dudes are angular. They know what they're doing. They plan ahead. They're plotters. I think you're talking about some bro-hovers witness who's

over there just skeeting in everybody's fucking front porch. No, you're talking about a frat boy. Yeah. I'm talking about those fucking library hitters, bro. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. They're good people, bro. They're great people, man. Fucking that Dewey Diximal system.

Fuck. Oh, dude. Read Harry Potter and bust nuts. Dude, and who wouldn't? Yeah. Dude, bro. Or Moby Dick in that mouth. I'd put it in Hermione, bro.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Let's go to Kat because we have a female representative in here. Kat, what do you think? Give her the mic. What suggestion would you have for this young lady? You're 19 years old. These are the best ho years of your life.

You got like about five to seven good years of just getting dicked down. Oh, wow. Jesus. Damn. Yeah. I like it, Kat. But the nerdy guys are the way to go or guys who used to be chubby because they're just kind of thankful to be there they're giving

these are the best whole years so where should she go you think she's your like a pizza and all the guys run a train on her or something no just hang out with some go to baskin robbins and get dp'd some dope nerdy dudes or a guy who used to be chubby because they're kind of self-conscious. They're happy for the attention, just want to give. What about a Tinder? What's that? I mean, I'm too old for Tinder. I'm not even on there.

It's a hit or miss. Because you go on Tinder and get dicked down or no? Yeah. You get dicked down anywhere. It's a hit or miss. Can't you just have a nice time? Yeah. Dicking down is a nice time.

Oh, my God. Hey, who brought the old guy here? Jesus Christ, man. She's 19. Yeah, and she wants to have a family, it sounds like. No, it doesn't. She just wants dick, dude. Thank you, Kat.

I respect your views. It's a woman's perspective there. Yeah, we needed it, and apparently there's a couple of good years of hoeing out there if you want to be doing that or if you want to, you could join the church, you could join the Peace Corps, you know what I'm saying, and fuck a guy on a beach somewhere, you know, in another country. You could.

You know? You could. Or go to the Waffle House and have the homies ride a train on you. Okay, well. Up next. Okay, then I wouldn't ask for advice from us then, ladies. I would. Okay. Because you got it from all angles.

You got the female. You got the black dude. He's not the dummy. He's not the dummy. You got me. It's dim over there in the building. It's kind of a, we don't have the lights on. Good luck, girl.

You seem cool as fuck, though. And you listen to this show. You do seem like a very sweet girl. Dude, what you need to do is scroll through the comments on our page and see some other dude who's like, oh, this is dope. I'm in H-Town. You listen to King of the Sting and then fucking go on a date and talk about us. Yeah. When you guys are fucking, think about us.

Actually, you know what? We'll play a little bit of Love Connectors. If you want to send a DM to the King of the Sting Instagram. Why you should go out with that girl. Then we can tag you in this video whenever we put it up on the King and the Sting Instagram. Trust me, you'll probably have a lot of serious dirt

balls and Hawaiian women that would love to meet you. We can do that, though. We can do it. It's knocking in well, though. This ends in a lawsuit. Or a death. What else we got? We can do that, though. We can do it. Dude, that's a great idea. It's knocking in well, though. Well... This ends in a lawsuit.

Or a death. What else we got? Death. Dude, there's some creeps out there, bro. I want no liability on this. Well, you just said it was a good idea. Wow, do you even live inside of yourself? Yeah, dude.

I'm saying there's pros and cons. Send up strangers, dude. My advice was to go to a fucking subway and get a fucking train ran on her. Yeah. So don't listen to me. Look, go get that. Look, here's what I say. Put a rope around your neck and go get that Justice Smollett at the subway.

Get two brothers to show up and train you down. You know what I'm saying? Get that foot long, baby. Or that Fasola Express. Yeah, fucking MAGA. Buzz, buzz. Get that MAGA dick. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. All right. Letasola Express. Yeah, fucking MAGA. Buzz, buzz. Get that MAGA dick. Yeah, dick.

Fuck yeah. All right, let's move it. Up next, we got Jefferson Nolley from Westminster, Colorado. Jefferson Nolley from Westminster. Hey, Brandon, Theo, this is Jefferson Nolley from Westminster, Colorado. I'm wearing this really green-ass shirt here because I'm about to go play some softball out here in Broomfield. Yeah, shout out to Broomfield. Rocky's representing.

Three on three. Just sending this in today for a little relationship advice. Been dating this girl for about a month, so it's all fresh. She's a white girl. Usually that's not significant, but in this case it is. She has been showing a little racial tendencies lately, saying some things that got me questioning her motives in life in that area.

Something about me you can't tell is that I'm a quarter Mexican. I got that Canelo thing going on. Canelo, baby. Red beer and freckles. I can speak Spanish and if you prefer, I can speak Spanish or English. I don't care.

Oh, wow. If you don't know what I just said, just ask your girl. I know, Theo, with that Nicaraguan in you, you're kind of the same, man. Gang, gang. Just wondering if I should, you know, let things come to a head at some point where we just discover she's racist when she meets my mom or my grandma or something like that, or maybe I should bring it up to her. Be like, hey girl, what are your views on this stuff?

Because I got that Mexican blood in me. Even though you can't tell. We got to part ways if you got some beef with that. Wonder what your views are on that. What should I do? It's a fresh relationship right now, so I don't want to go too far with it

and discover some shit later on. Yeah, you never know. Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, homie. Keep it up, man. Probably ditch the racist, huh? What I would do is I would fucking get some tapatia and just toss it in her fucking eyes and say, beat it, nerd.

Who fucks with racism? You know what I'm saying? See a lady. He said he's not sure. know what I'm saying? See ya, lady. He said he's not sure. He said he thinks the lady might be raciste. Dude, here's the thing. If you're even borderline like, man, is she racist? She racist. Yeah. There's no borderline.

If she's throwing hints out, like if she's watching the news and be like, yeah, I think they should build that wall. Fuck these hoes, you know? If she's all about it, you gotta race this one. Yeah, I think it's interesting. I mean, he's also, he's that hide- Fuck these hoes, you know? Yeah. She's all about it. You got to race this one. Yeah, I think it's interesting. I mean, he's also, he's that hide and go Siempre, you know? Yeah, it's tough. And I don't know what Siempre means, but I know that he, you know,

so he's really got that surprise. He almost looks like a. He looks whiter than we do. He looks like Andrew Santino. You know what I'm saying, bro? He's got a real, he's got that unique style. Yeah. So.

So she might have been looking for a white dude and he threw a curveball. So maybe she's just like, dude, I wasn't expecting to be redhead Mexican. She might be trying to invite him to a damn Klu Klux quinceanera. So anything's possible. But yeah, I think I wouldn't hold it

against her. So you have this weird motive going on in the background. You're kind of baiting her. You just keep driving her up and down Cesar Chavez Highway and shit like that everywhere you know. Invite her to a concierge and have a fucking fiesta and then fucking just make all the spicy food and see how she reacts. Yeah, I think you could do that. Or watch Breaking Bad and see how she reacts in some of the later seasons.

It's not a bad idea. See if she wants to watch American History X first on Netflix. You know what I'm saying? See what her choices are. Is Django her favorite movie? Yeah. What are we doing? Yeah.

But Django, that's not Mexican. I know. It's racist, though. You're right, though. That's a really good point. If you're a character, Leonardo DiCaprio and Django, then we got problems. Yeah, I think, man, if you're worried about it. Is she pissed at the end of American History X?

We got problems. But I think it's also you could talk to her about it and see what's going on. Maybe she got jumped by some guys. Maybe she got attacked. You never know where some of her angst could be coming from. Legit point. You never know where some of her angst could be coming from. Legit point.

But yeah, but if at that point she's just lobbing just, you know. Racial bombs? Yeah. You know, the S word. What's the S word? I don't know. Or, you know, other racial slurs. Mexican slurs?

There's not that many for them. That would drive them crazy. Is there any words that would offend you? I don't like redneck. I don't like when people call me redneck. That's a trigger for you? Yep. It is, man.

I realize. I don't mind it. I just don't like it when it's derogatory. I don't mind it if somebody's joking. Like if I called you a redneck. I don't really use redneck, though. I don't think redneck when I think of you. The reason I don't like it is because it's too simple of a way to classify me.

It's like, just come a little smarter. Come with a little more, yeah. But look, everybody's different. I don't know, man. What if I called you a cracker? I like cracker. I like crackers, too. I like honky. Honky's fun. Dude, I love honky. I don't see, you know, I'd be part of a group if we had one. Yeah, hey, we're the honky. Honky's fun. Dude, I love Honky. I don't see, you know, I'd be part of a group if we had one.

Yeah. Hey, we're the Honky. We ain't messing around. But I think it's interesting. I think it's cool you're thinking about this kind of stuff, man. And, yeah, I think just to see where her heart's at maybe. And also it could be an opportunity to kind of learn a little bit, see what she,

see where she's coming from. But also I need to know how racist she is. Scale one to 10. If she's an eight kick rocks, bitch. Yeah. If yeah, if she's an eight slap around like a pinata.

Yeah. And look, some good things come with a little bit of racism. It's fun. Good food. Curveball. Yeah. You can,

you go to a racist city in America. Best food. The best. Chicago. Texas. Yeah. You go to a racist city in America, best food. The best. Baltimore, Chicago. Texas. Yeah. Just the state. Texas, I don't know if they have as much racism.

Texas seems to- What? When you've been to Texas, bro, they have the best barbecue. Racist barbecue. Okay. I guess that's true. They might have some good old school recipes. But yeah, Baltimore, New Orleans, Chicago, anywhere you can catch a bullet,

you can get a good appetizer. The best meal. Yeah. Yep. But buen dia, man. Muchas gracias. Good luck. All right, boys.

Up next, we got debate club. First up is Ruben from London. Ruben from London. Oh, shit. Ruben. Buzz buzz. That's me. Gang gang.

Theo. Just on my way home after a night out. Night out. Just wanted to ask you a question for the bait club. Your place or theirs at the end of the night? That is me. That's your English brother over there, dude. It looks just like me.

You guys look pretty similar. Oh, it's my mum. How's mom? I'm not a poof dad. He shaves it a little extra on the sides, though. That guy's straight trilly Elliot right there. That dude's trill as hell, bro. So he's saying after a night out with a random girl.

Your place or her place? God. Usually her place so I can just get the fuck out. You know what I'm saying? She's at yours. Then you got to come up with, let's say it's a one-night hookup. You got to come up with a lie and why she needs to leave. You feel bad about yourself.

If you're at her place, you're like, dude, I got to get up early. I'm out. Go home, take a shit. I will never sleep at someone's place or I'll let them sleep at my place. So I'm not going to ever probably be married. Oh, Rich, do you have a problem with it? Oh, I can't do it, yeah. Did you never stay the night over in your friend's house growing up?

Yeah, I did, but I'll wet the bed all the time. And then I have to get up in the middle of the night, sneak around in the dark and find their washer dryer. Oh, my God. Dude, one time couldn't find the dryer. I had to clean the sheets and then they had like a lamp and I had to like hold the sheet really close to the bulb for like two hours and just move it around until it would dry. What I would do-

The heat off the light bulb. What I would do if I stay at a friend's house and I pissed, I was also, I pissed the bed as a kid. Yeah. Or leak out of your brain. Go on. Either or. But if I was leaking my piss at a friend's house, what I'd do, I'd be like, ah, fuck,

I wet the bed. I'd get up, get a big glass of water and pretend I dropped the water everywhere. Everybody believes that, Drake. As a kid, I thought I did. I was four, you moron. But as a kid, you're like, oh, they don't know. But they just played along with it. Now that I'm older, they definitely knew. They knew. They definitely knew.

Like, oh, Brennan's drinking that yellow water again. What a crazy guy, huh? Sounds like pee-pee. Definitely staying at their place, though. But going to their place is exciting. It's neat to see what's going on. You know immediately. Different smells.

Yeah, what their vibe is. They're real dirty. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, I remember going to this girl's place one time. It was disgusting, bro. And I was like, oh. But you put up with some shit. I went by roaches to hook up with some girl.

Really? In her room. I was like, yeah, I like roaches. Really? She was that hot. I went, I actually like roaches. I like that. She goes, do you mind my ass?

I went, not at all. Wow. Yeah. Then I throw it down. I went, you're disgusting. I'm out of here. Oh, God. What an asshole.

I would stay and help probably clean the place up. You wouldn't do shit, dude. I wouldn't do shit. Whatever. You wouldn't do shit. Whatever. Help them clean it up. Dude, are you kidding me? You wouldn't even get to their house. Who would let you in their fucking house?

Bro, you're dressed like the fucking... Who would let you in? Bro, you're dressed like a backup catcher from League of Their Own today. We are members of the All-American League. We come from cities. I'm a lesbian here. I'm a lesbian. I say

their house. 62% of people said her place as well. It's a fun kind of game to play. What's going on? What can I steal? Up next, we got a question from Mike Domingue. Mike Domingue. Hey, what's up, Theo?

Brendan. My name's Mike Dimash from Omaha, Nebraska. First of all, Theo, thank you very much for your podcast and everything you do comedy-wise. I got 60 days sober. Gang, brother. Because of you. That's cool, man. I got 60 Days Sober. Gang, brother! That's cool, man. Get through all those kind of tough days. Because of yourself, man.

Congratulations. Humble dude, man. From watching you on UFC to what you're doing now. Love you both. I got a debate club for you. Rap music. The melodies now. You got the mumble rap versus the more lyrical rap are we liking the

are we liking the the bay club holler gang respect knows his rap he does know his rap man and thanks for the kind What does that say? Yeah. Hot. The Bay Club. Holler. Gang, respect. Knows his rap. He does know his rap, man. And thanks for the kind words, brother. What do you think, Derek? Come in. Let's ask.

Lyrical, man. I don't need no 17-year-old fucking numbling to me. They got them hits, though. They got them hooks. Those fucking hooks. You're getting Kanye's in on it. Yeah. You're such a fucking hoe.

I love it. You ever heard that song? Well, it's in on it. Yeah. You're such a fucking hoe. I love it. You ever heard that song? It's not very positive music. You're such a fucking hoe. My bad, Tony Robbins. Get the fuck out of here. Fuck you. It's just fun to listen to. I don't go to fucking Jay-Z for motivation. I don't need fucking Nas to drop

lyrics on me so I get my life together. I don't need Bubba Sparks advice on financial planning. Paul Wall, baby. Paul Wall. He was tough. He was so good, dude. That's a really good point, man. You're right.

Apparently, I'm going to the wrong places for the wrong things, dude. Apparently, I'm going to the wrong places for the wrong things, dude. I did just download that new Steve, some old Steve Irwin. Remember him? Crocodile Hunter? Crocodile Hunter. What are you talking about, dude? The fucking white rapper. Okay, I go to him for fucking.

Yeah, remember him? No. I know the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. Yeah, if you look at him just as that, bro. But if you play his fucking lyrics to a fucking dope beat. About crocodiles? Yeah. Oh, sick.

Ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh. Oh, oh, oi, oi, oi. Oh, that's a remix. All right. Yeah. All right. That fucking dope-ass Steve Irwin remix. I like the lyrics, guys, though.

This is the thing. Get your own shit. Everyone's little oozy, little yachty, little yachty, little fucking mariachi, little fucking. Little homeschool. Yeah, bro. Yeah, little prisoner. That was one, another guy. God, get your shit together. Little, yeah, just never ends, dude.

Little, who was the one guy? The one that would get face tattoos and dye their hair. Yeah, little pill or whatever, little deceased. What was that guy's name? Little Pump. Little Pump, yeah. Little Pumpin'. Yeah, that guy fucking died.

Little Pumpin'. Yeah, he died. A little bit of life left, I think, in a lot of them. All they're talking about is fucking pills. All they're talking about is pills and sadness. Get your fucking life together, fellas. Well, I would love to see some new, like, it is interesting how rap gets kind of narrow. It's like you can only rap about, like, your wealth or your car.

I guess it's everything, though. You gotta listen to J. Cole, though. If you want pure lyrics, you gotta listen to J. Cole. I like that new Yellow Wolf is out, dude. And it's pretty wild. But I'd like to see something new. I liked Ray Sremmurd. When Ray Sremmurd came out, bro, they had some fucking, their shit was kind of a new vibe, I thought.

Hold on. I said J. Cole and you went, yeah, I like yellow wolf. Get out. Really? Get out. Yellow wolf, bro. Get out. J. Cole, yellow wolf?

J. Cole, the shoe designer? Never heard of him. Dude, J. Cole the shoe designer? Never heard of him. Dude, J. Cole? Is that an alias for something? Never heard of J. Cole, bro. Go listen to some fucking Yellow Wolf, dude. Trump Music, Volume 3,

bro. Trump Music, Volume 3, bro. It's your mindset. Thanks for reaching out, though, brother. It's a good question. A lot of this new rap, it's like people mumbling. They're not even talking anymore. One guy's sneezing, and they did a remix to it. Yeah, my kid yells.

They want to create a beat out of it. Yeah, some guy's in a coma. That's the new guy. A little coma. They just record a fucking preschool class and then turn a fucking beat into it. It's not real rapping, bro. I want to see some of the hard hitters, but I think this is the time when we get that rebirth, man.

Congratulations on whatever you got today, 62 days probably onward. 83%? People say lyrical as well. They agree. Come on now. This next one is from, her nickname is Wanton Parmigiana. Wanton Parmigiana? Thomas Capitano. Crazy name. Wanton Parmigiana. Wonton Parmesan? Thomas Capitano.

Crazy name. Wonton Parmesan. What's up, D.O. and Brendan? This is Tom from Brooklyn, New York. So I had a question for you guys. The cock cam. For the big club. So I'm half Chinese and half Italian.

Gang, bro. So I have to know women, which are better, Chinese or Italian. Thanks, guys. All the best. Buzz, buzz, dog. So he's saying either Italian or Chinese women? That's what you're saying? Chinese or Italian women.

You ever been with a Chinese woman, Theo? I don't know, man. Me neither. I don't even know what they look like. Oh, I know what they look like. Like Chinese people. I have no idea. I just, I don't know. Well, we can ask Kat.

I find that tad racist, but let's ask her. I don't. She knows way better than we do. You don't even know who they are. Kat, can you help our friend learn a little bit about the Chinese? Kat, can you tell Theo where China's at? I just was there. So what do you want to know?

It's on the plane. It's off the plane. What do you want to know, Theo? Yeah, what do you want to know? Nothing. I don't want to know? It's on the plane. It's off the plane. What do you want to know, Theo? Yeah, what do you want to know? Nothing. I don't want to know anything. He's asking if China, Chinese women, or Italians are better. She wouldn't know.

I know. He's trying to pick one, though. Why is he asking us, dude? Ask your inner self. Talk to your therapist. Ask one of your fucking parents. Ask a Chinese dude or a fucking Italian dude. We're neither.

Thank you, cats. But if I had to guess, if I'm just fucking guessing here, probably go with Italian bird. Pretty sexy. I like the language way better. You ever been around a Chinese person when they have to get somewhere? Very rude. They push people, especially in buses. Terrible drivers.

Oh, Chinese will eat their own. Terrible food. And they'll eat their own. Yes. I was in China. Guy dies. They push people, especially in buses. Terrible drivers. Terrible food. And they'll eat their own. Yes. I was in China. Guy dies. They make a soup. Everybody has lunch. They move on. Yes. China is forward thinking. They're not They don't have time for your shit. They don't have time for emotions, bro. No, they're sardines. They just fucking go and push people out of the way. Italians, not so much.

Make a great pizza. Drive a Ferrari. I'm going to jail. I did some embezzling mozzarella yeah you can get that they're fucking melting cheese

on each other's back hair and fucking fist fighting on the internet fuck yeah man Italians are the kind of people I know an Italian guy bought a boxing ring

dude he won Price is Right won the money bought a boxing ring for his backyard in New Jersey. Fuck yeah. Unbelievable, bro. And they make delicious meatballs,

pizza. Oh, I know. Take your little Caesars. Got a mouska. That's way better than Chinese. Oh, the Chinese will fucking... Unless you make your orange chicken. Now we're talking. Well, that's the thing. When it comes to the food, it's Italian all day, Chinese. Oh, the Chinese will fucking fuck. Unless you make your orange chicken. Now we're talking. Well, that's the thing.

When it comes to the food, it's 50-50. Italian all day, bro. 50-50 or a nice slice of pizza, bro? Yeah, good point. It's about 94-6. Dude, get a nice slice of margarita pizza and get your dicks sucked. Yeah, I go Italian. I like the long fingernails.

I like the propensity while you're sleeping. The woman could fucking kill you or cut you through. Yeah. I sleep well around that for some reason. I'm going Italian. I do too, brother. Italian.

76% say Italian as well. That's too easy. All right. I got to leave in a little bit. Next one. Sorry. It's a weird thing to say during the episode.

That's it, man. The next one is from Minus D. Kid. Minus D. Kid. Hey, Theo. Hey, Brandon. That's a man, baby. Got a debate club for you guys.

Get busted. School lunch versus home lunch. I'll tell you right now, AC in the car, though. Sting, sting. Buzz, buzz. Crank that AC up, bro. There's no reason to be dripping sweat now in the car these days. And he did sting, sting, buzz, buzz, which is two buzzes.

Basically two buzzes. So this is your question then. This guy loves you. School lunch versus home lunch? That's a great question. God, depends on your mom. Because if Theo's mom's making it, probably go with my mom's lunch. You know what I'm saying?

She didn't want to feed you. She didn't want to feed you. She gave us a bag. You don't have nothing in it. Sometimes that old trick bag. Your mom said, use your memory. Yeah. Use your imagination. There's nothing in there. Remember that old trick bag. Your mom said, use your memory. Yeah. Use your imagination.

There's nothing in there. Remember what you used to have? Yeah. Remember what you used to have? Fuck. I'd probably say home lunch. School lunch was some bullshit where I went. Shout out to Virginia Court Elementary, the Tigers.

Yeah. Horrible lunches. So my mom packed me a nice. Dude, I had fruit by the foot. I had little Debbie fucking oatmeal pies. Wow. I had fucking lunch fucking oatmeal pies. Wow. I had fucking lunchables. Diabetes.

Go on. Fucking look at me, dude. I had fucking great things. I had Dunkaroos. Oh, God. You look like a guy who carries Dunkaroos in his pocket at all times. I had Dunkaroos. You look like a guy who can't spell Dunkaroos.

I had Teddy Grahams, bro. Yeah, did you have anything fucking good? No. I'd rather have the low-calorie meal of nothing that my mother gave me. Your mom just gave you air. You know what you need to eat? Knowledge, Dale. Knowledge.

I like the school lunch, man. I like being a part of the team. I like seeing the ladies with the plastic mitts on. I like seeing the hair. I like meeting the ladies. The lady across the street, Annie, was our lunch lady, and then her grandson killed her. But I like that whole lunchroom vibe. I like going in there with the hot steam in the air and a fucking, you don't know what's coming through the steam.

It could be a burger. It could be a pear. It's just steam, and you just see a fucking old liver-spotted arm come through and just drop a scoop of fucking hope right onto your plate. And their skin would be just saggy. Oh, yeah. The saggy belly just saggy. Oh, yeah. The saggy belly of the skin. Oh, beautiful. And I love the burgers and those round pizzas and the milk.

You fucking put the little bag in. Shout out to strawberry milk, bro. I never had strawberry milk. Really? Did you have chocolate? Huh? You just had white? I had white milk, dude.

That's racist, dude. And sometimes it was sour and it was all sour. And everybody just drank sour milk. And you got that little knife or that orange straw. Popping in there, baby. And you fucking just Game of Thrones that motherfucker, dude. Then you take one of the fucking kids and just fucking put it right in his neck, too. Oh, wow.

Sip of milk, sip of blood. Oh, no, you're talking about prison. Yeah, when you're in prison. That's not, no one had that. I love school lunch, man. And I'd eat them again if they served them, man. I'm on school lunch now, too. Yeah, remember the square pizzas?

Oh, yeah. Oh, bro. The square or the peanut butter and jelly, and they just load it up with peanut butter. Yeah. Be a fucking two inches of peanut butter, baby. One time they gave me a whole tray of fucking peanut butter. That was it, dude. That was lunch on a spoon.

And then grilled cheese. I guess that's lunch, but I'll take it. It wasn't that good, but it was okay. I was happy for it. Yeah. Dude, and I remember the burgers. The buns't that good, but it was okay. I was happy for it. Yeah. Dude, and I remember the burgers, the buns had like a little bit of chalk dust on them or something. And it would get on your hands, the wheat ones. Dude, I got to be honest.

I loved the sloppy joes. They were good, man. Gang. 77% of people say home lunch. Okay. It depends where you went, though. We might have to wrap it up soon. Give us one more, dog.

You want to do one more? One flan m'on or one rip my drip? What do you guys want to do? I'll let you call it. Let's do, you wrap it up soon. Give us one more, dog. You want to do one more? One Flop My Aunt or one Rip My Drip? What do you guys want to do? I'll let you call it. Let's do, you call it, B. Let's do one Flop My Aunt. Flop My Aunt. You got time for one, Hussein?

I'll pick this one. She's the best one. This is Aunt Becky. Ooh. Oh, shit. Swaggy, jeepy. Her Jeep name is Baby. She refuses to watch any movie that shows or resembles Barack Obama as president.

It's her fun fact. Is there a movie like that? Yeah, every Morgan Freeman movie. Oh, yeah. Come on, man. She's currently looking for a man, and she also takes her dog everywhere she goes. Damn, it's a tough sell. Tough sell with the dog.

I'd rather push the 19-year-old. It's a tough sell. Can we zoom in dog. I'd rather push the 19-year-old. It's a tough sell. Can we zoom in on some of this, some of Aunt Becky and what's going on with her? What's that say? Country life, girls kick ass. Country life. Jeep girls get darker? Dirtier.

Dirtier. Oh. Aunt Becky, a freak. And then what's that say? All gave some? All gave. Someone died. She put a sticker on the back of her truck.

All gave some. Some gave all. So La Finca. She's right there by that La Finca Mexican restaurant. Well, she's definitely not going there because she's racist. Oh, it's about the pet care, too. They got it in the back. You can see vulture pet care.

Value pet care. Value. What's this logo here? What's this on the truck? Let pet care. Value. What's this logo here? What's this on the truck? Let's see. U.S. Army. No, keep going down. Yeah, what's that?

This is a warning. Do not screw with my Jeep and shows her killing someone. You know what? I don't know if she wants a man. Yeah, I think she's trying to scare everybody off. Yeah. It seems very alarming. She has the dog with her at all times.

Support our troops. Jeep girls do it dirty. Girls kick ass. Girls kick ass. I don't think she wants a man. I think she wants a woman. She's flaunty. She's definitely flexy out there.

I like how she's not afraid to post up against the Jeep I like her posture there Yeah, she definitely looks like she will spring break forever Until her fucking nipples just fall right off over the ends of her tits I think someone needs to tell her spring break is over She's no longer on spring break And it's 2019 Spring break's never over for Aunt Becky, dude.

Ever. She has a dog. She has a Jeep. She has bumper stickers. She has a picture of Pauly Shore in her Jeep. Yeah, definitely. From MTV Spring Break. The one time she went. She definitely has a little bit of Sinbad's coom in her purse. You know what I'm saying, bro? She's the kind of lady that's

been, you know, she definitely has a big tattoo of downtown Debbie Brown or whatever on her back. She probably has seven MAGA hats in her fucking backseat there. You think? What? I don't know. She won't watch a movie that reminds her of fucking Obama? But what good movies does Obama in?

Dude, a few. Which one? Maybe the one where he did the basketball bracket and picked North Carolina? I can't remember anything else he even did. No, he's done some good movies. Really? He was good at NCAA basketball? Dude, he was in Shawshank Redemption.

He was very inspirational. He was red in Shawshank Redemption. He wasn't red. Yeah, people should know that. He was in Space Jam. Well, I mean, let's don't get it political. I think, look, yeah, there could be, I mean, Obama, undeniably,

extremely inspirational president. She doesn't like that. She doesn't, I don't know what movies and what is he in fucking? He's in Demolition Man 2. Is he really? Yeah. Well, Jesus Christ. Yeah, man.

Well, no wonder we weren't getting, you know, some stuff wasn't occurring if he's a fucking actor. You know, I know he was in like a, I know he's on Instagram with Mike Epps a lot. I know he plays a lot of basketball. Yeah. So I thought he was in Space Jam, but I'm not sure now. You're a niece. Look, Aunt Becky.

Aunt Becky needs to calm down. Aunt Becky needs to calm down a little. And also, you're not on spring break. Yeah, you're not on spring break. It's summer. It's not summer, though, you know? But take a summer break, I think. But just take a break from everything you're doing.

But definitely a hottie. I know a lot of thick 16 year old dudes that would bang this lady out and I do but also fuck your jeep like just just people have sex with cars

I don't know I don't know about that I gotta go I gotta go too yeah you do good luck Aunt Becky and that's it And that's it. Dude, that's it, bro.

We did it, man. We got to get out of here, man. Nice to meet a UFC fighter, man. I never really put it all together. Yeah. Nice to meet one, dude. God. What about when they close the gate and you have to stay in there?

Do you have to stay in? You could jump out, but then you'd be shunned for the rest of your life. I would still even be in there. There was a guy who ran the entire time. Oh, really? I can see that. Who just ran the entire time. Yeah, it's a weird sport, man.

I don't know. I think I'm not doing more. Speaking of not doing more, I'm in Arizona next week, man. Phoenix, Friday, Saturday. Oh, wow. Stand up live, baby. Stand up live, Phoenix, Arizona. Great club, man.

And I'll be in West Palm Beach next weekend. Also a great club. Great club. Yeah, I'm excited, man. Great club, man. And I'll be in West Palm Beach next weekend. Also a great club. Great club. Yeah, I'm excited, man. Happy Easter to everybody. Happy Passover. Eat all the Cadbury eggs you can do, man. That's what my family does.

Get that suppository, dude. Dude, I'll just hold your butt open and just pour chocolate into it, dude. You know what I'm saying? Fuck yeah. Yeah, I do know what you're saying, man. Finally, I do. Yeah. Jam some peeps up your ass, man. Yeah, bro. You know what I'm saying? Fuck yeah. Yeah, I do know what you're saying, man. Finally, I do. Jam some peeps up your ass.

Live a little. Dude, that's what I'm saying, bro. Hide a fucking hide a snicker in your sister, you feel me? Yeah. Alright. Alright. We end it like that. Alright. The Lord's Day. Enjoy.