The Golden Hour - Episode 166: We Have Never Done This

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

The guys talk Erik's vocal training, Chris's singing lessons, Brendan's old saxophone, annoying people who play instruments at parties, wiping your wiener etiquette, Lia Thomas swimming controversy, all new Relationship Advice and KATS In The Wild submissions, going to the movies by yourself and much more! Join us on Patreon: https://patreon.com/KATSPlus      See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I just want to let you know that it looks like we will have Albuquerque, New Mexico, Midland, Texas, Lubbock, Texas, and Dallas, Texas going on sale. That's May 18th through the 21st. Yeah, it could be cool. Next week at theovon.com slash tour. Love it. And I will be in Phoenix, Arizona, April 14th through the 16th. I'm at the Stand Up Live with the Thick Boy crew. Then Austin, Texas, Moon Tower Comedy Festival,

April 22nd through the 23rd. That's at the New Cap Cities. Your boys open that bad bitch up. And then April 28th on Thick Boy, the special is dropping. It's happening, man. April 28th on Thick Boy. I got a hot special coming your way. But Phoenix, you're up man. April 28th on Thinkboy. I got a hot special coming your way.

But Phoenix, you're up next, April 14th through the 16th. I'm going to be in Arizona April 30th. I added another show there at Celebrity Theater, so I'll be in Arizona. I'm also coming out with new dates, and I don't really know where yet, but I'm going to do some in Savannah, Georgia. I'm going to do, I think, maybe some Denver, Boston, and Illinois. I'm going to try and figure it all out. Maybe Stockton, maybe up north a little bit.

So go to chrysalia.com and get your – they might be out when this comes out, but I don't know. But, yeah, Arizona definitely. So let's do it. Also, I'll be in Montgomery, Alabama, Columbus, Georgia, and Savannah, Georgia, and Augusta, Georgia, June 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Those aren't on sale yet, but they'll be going on soon at theovan.com. All right, learning a second language. Very tough.

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We've got two left. And then the thing comes up. You can go right now. We've got two left. We've got one ball, and we are going to throw it. Can we do this, Josh? We are going to throw in the other ball. You ever met this guy?

Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Soul. Bye, Mr.

I know your card. You're sick, huh? No. Something's always wrong with you, huh? Somebody took a bite out of your head or what? Somebody shot you in the head? What's up? Oh, my God.

And he starts off by saying something's wrong with me. Dude, you're sick. Yeah, you cough and sneeze like four times already. I'm literally not sick. I just sneeze, dude. You know what, dude? You have allergies? I'm allergic to success.

Oh, God. I'm allergic to success. Welcome to God. I'm allergic to success. Welcome to King Sting. And the wing. No, this is Sting winging the sing. Oh. Oh. Oh.

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Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh You know what it reminds me of? What? Woo, woo, woo, woo. Never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. Remember that song? Never gonna get it. Woo, woo, woo, woo.

Oh, wow. Never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. Dude, my voice is back, baby. What if? We gotta do karaoke again because I'm ready. Oh, my God. Did your voice leave?

Yeah, because I got COVID and then I have like a sinus and affected my vocal cords. Well, we can't be having that, dude. I know, but that's why I'm in the shower. I do vocal exercises in the shower. Yeah, because that's when the steam hits it and you can work it out. Well, you're ready to go, man. Where did you learn the vocal exercises?

Oh, you just go to YouTube. Oh, wow. I have my phone in the shower and I just do what the guy says to do. Really? Yeah, it's great. What, to get your voice back? Yeah, to like vocal warmups.

Wow, that's cute as shit. I know, I want to get in on that. cutie shit I see you're gonna be in the shower oh is that what it is yeah you do like it's like a 20 minute vocal x and it works on boy band guy knows about this yeah you do before shows yeah before shows and stuff like good for like even before comedy shows to warm up your voice. The actors go ketchup mustard, ketchup mustard. Yeah. Do they do that one? I know they do. Well, we used to do mayo,

mayo, mayo, mayo, mayo. Mayo, mayo, mayo, mayo, mayo. And it just goes as high as you can. When you say we, who's we? So you don't know this, but Chris used to be like Tupac. He went to like Juilliard type of school. I did, yeah. Baltimore. No, not Baltimore. But he went to Baltimore. No, I like to do I used to do like Tupac. He went to like Juilliard type of school. I did, yeah. Baltimore. No, not Baltimore. But he went to Baltimore. No, I like to do I used to do like singing.

Bro, I did singing lessons, straight up, solo singing lessons for years. Four years. You can kind of sing. That makes sense. But you know why? We don't know. It's a secret life. His parents were actually monsters. They were like, it was like

a little league dad. He was like, get in here and learn how to sing you're gonna act you're gonna sing would have been nice you know what you know what remember remember when they were like remember remember when i everyone always would say like when i was a kid older people would say like you should get in learn into some instruments and they would always say like i wish i learned my parents made me learn the piano and like that that. Bro, here I am, 41. I'm glad I don't know the fucking piano, dude. Ooh, I wish I knew the piano. I regret.

My mom was a classic pianist. Really? Oh, damn. Yeah, she wanted to. And, like, her life was derailed. It's a whole kind of thing, you know what I mean? So she would never be, she would never achieve that goal of being a concert pianist. But she could still play.

But she could still play. Not now with dementia, but she, but she like, That's sad, but okay. It is what it is. But she,

I tried to learn, she wanted me to learn the piano, but it was like forced on me and I hated it. I know, I know. But I regret that so much. If it's forced,

it's tough. I know, but I, like, if I have kids and I want to, I have to find a way. Make it fun.

I saw this quote from Bruce Lee. He said, don't buy your kids things you never had. Teach them things you never learned. And it was just like. Interesting. I'm just thinking to myself, oh, that's true. My dad bought me and my brother a saxophone, but it was just like here. And then we just like like, like Lisa Simpson.

What? Yeah. That's weird. He was just like hair, learning saxophone. Wait, did you guys have money when you were young? No. That's a weird gift also if you don't have money. It was a used saxophone and just.

Yeah. Slap her all over it. It was like hockey gear. Like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll just be like. You know, like. Yeah.

What are you going to do? Thanks, Pop. You didn't learn? I don't know. You didn't want to learn? I mean, I Thanks, Pop. You didn't learn? I don't know. You didn't want to learn? I mean, I did, but you need some fucking saxophone. Like a trumpet and those kind of things are just so difficult. Yeah, the nightmare.

Yeah. But haven't you ever been to a party and there's a piano and then that one guy, you know what I'm saying? He gets on. I hate that guy. I fucking hate that guy. Yeah, but that's who you would have been. I know, but because you know what I'm saying? He gets on. I hate that guy. I fucking hate that guy. Yeah, but that's who you would have been. I know, but because you know what it is? Like all the girls, I don't care.

Yeah. If you can play an instrument, that's an in. Well, it's like the guy when you're at like chilling, you know, you're in the backyard party, whatever, and the night is starting to get late and he just gets out the guitar. No, no, no. That guy's different. He's all safe tonight. No, no, guitar is different. That guy should be beheaded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Chris, no. That guy's different. Save tonight. No, no, guitar is different. That guy should be beheaded.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Chris. No, that guy should get his... Like, I'm on the 100th with you. I have a rule, actually. That guy needs to be killed with his guitar. Oh, for sure.

Oh, for sure. Because guys think that. But you know what the ladies do? That guy's getting his dick sucked. Yeah, I know. But use you. But use you to get your dick sucked. Don't use a fucking instrument, you bitch-ass beta.

Especially not the one that all it takes is like three chords and you can sing like 50,000 songs. Here's the worst, though. But no, but here's the worst. The piano's different. It has more skill to it. I got a guy even worse than that. The guy who does the guitar that then does rapping with the guitar. Beheaded.

Dude, I'll tell you what. You take a string off. Yeah. Okay. Then you tie it around his neck. So hard that his head pops off. Beheaded. Dude, I'll tell you what. You take a string off. Yeah. Okay. Then you tie it around his neck. So hard that his head pops off beheaded. Yeah, you kill him. Dude, you know what? I think that that guy deserves to not eat for three days.

I think that guy, the fair punishment is if you bring a guitar out at a party where everyone's having a good time, right? Because we're having a laugh. It shuts things down. It shuts it down. Then he goes, today is going to be the day. Congratulations, all good. But now you can't eat for three days.

That is the rule. But also, I'm going to jump in and sing with you because I know all the songs. No, no, no. Oh, my God. You're that guy? All right. How about this? This is the word.

I remember being on a set and an extra brought the guitar. So in the extra area, you know, there's just somebody in there. It's kind of a baller move a little bit. Somebody in there just like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It's just like, oh, I want to kill you. And they always sing the same, like, three or four songs. You got Harry Connick Jr. there just like,

good job, dude. But there's either, it's either, it's confidence. There's a fine line between confidence and just absolutely this person's brain is broken to be doing this. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's also like you're not an American Idol dude. Well, no, of course not. Like you're not going to get a contract.

You know you're not going to Hollywood. But here's the thing though. There's a difference between somebody who can play five chords and then a dude who picks up the guitar and he's just like you know one of those dudes where it's like I'm just saying. But to the common person I mean I hear someone sing and play guitar and I'm like god damn dude. No.

There's a difference. That's because you're You know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about. I'm gonna suck. But honestly to be fair you're a little bit stupider than us, and that's not the truth. That's not how it's supposed to be. Like, mark the stupidity. I appreciate a good talent, man. The party's winding down, and there's no energy, and then he gets to the guitar and goes,

save tonight. It's like, dude, you just revamped the party vibe. I don't know. But that guy does it too long though dude like he'll sing like you want another one and you're like no you did this song

and then he's just like closing time my favorite my favorite oh no that's the guy my favorite that's the guy

you know what I mean no there's about four songs that they hit it's all the four songs dude it's awful it's just too much when it's campfirey i'm out yeah yeah yeah i'm out be near a campfire that's when you do it yeah fine but if it's like

but i'm telling you though if it's that spanish guitar guy you know when he's hitting the shit like you know where his fingers are doing some shit where you're like oh oh, man. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. This dude, he probably jacks off. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like when he's jacking off, he's like, oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's tearing it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, can I ask a question before we start this? I really wanted to ask you guys this. It's a weird question.

Because a buddy of mine was saying that he's a young dude. He's only like 25. And a girl came over, and him and his roommates didn't have any more toilet paper. Yeah. So she used a napkin. Yeah, sure, then she says to him like oh, so this means that you don't you haven't wiped your dick off after you pee Oh weird, okay, you know I mean like my dick go boom. No, you'd be lucky if I bought my ass. Yeah So you know so you like I've never like when you finish pain

Jiggle I don't shake do you don't wipe your dick off with a little piece of toilet paper and then throw it away? Never in my 39 years on this planet have I ever wiped my dick. I think women think that we're doing this. She might be stupid, though, yeah? She might just be a dumbass. Yeah, she might just be dumb. So you two have never thought after? I mean, no. As a matter of fact, even if it's still wet, I put it in my pants.

I go, my pants will handle that. Yeah. That's what underwear is for. Oh, man. My girl make fun of me all the time. Chris' underwear on wash day is just a mess. Oh, I have pee-pee stains nine out of ten days.

Dude, do you know how many times like, just like, the left side of my underwear is just, it's piss central, bro. Yeah, but you're the front of my underwear. Six more years, you're gonna be like, I always, at 50, I'm like, I didn't finish peeing? Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's a thing where you're just like, okay, am I done? You can't get all the drops. What are you going to be so anal about? You're going to sit there for so long. We're going to watch a fucking whole episode of how I met your mother. I remember my dad got so mad. I was in my sophomore year of high school, and we came home late.

I came with my buddies just to keep partying, and my dad answered the door at like 1 in the morning, and he was so pissed. He's in bed, and his hair's all fucked up. My dad always wears whitey tighties. He had pee-pee stains on the front. From my friends, I go, damn, daddy, I know you have pee-pee stains. Not smart.

He grabbed me by the fucking throat in front of my friends, man. Wow. It was so intense. Wow. And then he was like- And this is the same guy that was like, go play that this is why you never learned yeah i thought the same thing yeah i bought you a fucking saxophone that was that saxophone anger yeah then that's three o'clock in the morning he's in there yeah yeah yeah trying to learn it dude you know how hard the

saxophone is without lessons well yeah that's what i'm saying yeah it's like crazy it's like that you wasted your fucking money yeah well it's like trying to learn stick and you've never. He probably found it. You know? Well. No, he did it right. He figured it out.

He figured it out. Did he just throw you in a ring one day? It was like, get in here, fight for your life. Yeah, basically. You're a success, bro.

Yeah. Joke's on you, dad. Joke's on you, dad. Thanks for that saxophone. Dude. Hey, you saxophone. By the way, before we

even get into the episode, let's do the dates now, no? I'm going to be in fucking Phoenix April 30th ChrisDelia.com Are you at like a speakeasy Or what are you talking about here?

No Celebrity Theater Wow It's a theater And it's gonna be April 30th Phoenix So hit me up

ChrisDelia.com And I'll be in Irvine You know what's so funny I might come to Irvine We'll see Yeah yeah We'll see I'm gonna go to Irvine

I'll be there with Chris Yeah yeah He'll be there I'm at Stand Up Live. What is that? April 14th or 16th? Chin? Is that April 16th, 14th, Chin? I'll check it right now. I'm in Arizona. Stand Up Live, April 14th through 16th. Yep. And then

April 22nd through the 23rd I am headlining the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Your boys in Austin at the New Cap Cities. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. And then also April 28th, we got a big

special announcement. Your boy's going to be on Rogan dropping a special April 28th on Thick Boy! It's going down, son! It's really the LOL Comedy Club. But I put Los Comedy Club. Where is it? It's in San Antonio. So I'll be in San Antonio and Houston. It's kind the LOL Comedy Club. Los. But I put Los Comedy Club. Where is it? That works too, though. It's in San Antonio. So I'll be in San Antonio and Houston.

It's kind of right. Los Comedy Club. The Los Comedy Club. But it's really LOL. I got to change it when I get home. And then I'm in Improv in Houston, April 14th. Where's the Grand Comedy Club in San Diego? Oh, it's just Little Place, man.

I love it. I just did it that past weekend. It was great. Yeah, I saw you just did it. Four shows. It was great. Sold them out. It was good. Sounds nice. sounds nice all right so phoenixcrystalia.com anyway what are we doing yeah i mean special better that way to do special drops april 28th that's very cool thank you thank you yeah because i don't on your website on thickboy.com wow that's cool youtube thickboy

youtube yeah yeah okay your boy went against the grain yeah yeah that's good turn down the big boy offers and put it on thick boy. You got to do it. You got to talk too much shit. So something happened, all right? We started the Patreon, and we, the three of us, and sometimes the four of us, were having so much fun, we wanted to sit in the studio together and do more episodes. We miss each other.

We do. And so what we're doing is adding an extra free episode. Correct? Correct. So this is now three episodes free and two on the Patreon. That Patreon is lit. And for you guys that have subscribed, you know exactly what we're talking about. It is so much fun.

Thank you guys for the support of the show. It's an expensive show to make, and so we're doing our best. We're moving through this as we go, and we're excited to bring you an extra episode each month. So that's awesome. Yes, and for you guys that have subscribed to the Patreon, we can't thank you enough for making that thing a success.

We love you guys. Let's keep that thing moving. Thank you, too, for doing the show. And, yeah, three episodes. Three, two on Patreon. And, honestly, thanks for the support no matter what. If you're on Patreon, great. We love it. We love to on Patreon. And honestly, thanks for the support no matter what. If you're on Patreon, great. We love it.

We love doing the Patreon. And it's so nice that you are supporting the show in that way. But if you can't, it's still awesome that you fucking watch us. And we love that you support us even on YouTube or whatever. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Soar. Chris, I don't know about you, doggy, but now that I'm a dad, I know I'm getting older because I care about my lawn.

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Dude, it's March Madness, fellas. Let's get it. It is March Madness, Chris. I know you're a big basketball fan. Well, I love betting. Can I do that? You can do that. Nick's probably already doing it.

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I got a King of the Sting for you. Trans women in sports. I know you heard about Leah Thomas winning first place against other females, but let's be honest here. If Brendan was to fight somebody like Amanda Nunez, is that okay? Should sports just be integrated? Let me know what you think. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.

Soul. Nice. It's insane. You want me to go on this one? Yeah, please. You guys are all familiar with this. I honestly think you're probably the cleanup hitter on this one. You probably have a really strong opinion. Okay.

But I think that let's just start it like this. Dude, you can absolutely play. You can absolutely play you can absolutely play but there needs to be a uh biological male deficit where they just like hold your legs for a while while the other women who started as women go and then you you get the biological male deficit and then they go okay and then a guy blows another whistle or shoots another gun, and they go, go. Or you do it blindfolded. Or you just go blindfolded. Fair enough.

There needs to be some sort of – There needs to be some disadvantage. It's insane. Okay, here's the thing. Just that his name was William Thomas. Now it's Leah Thomas. He was ranked 462 as a male. She's the number one female swimmer right now.

Dude, so think about this. There's a girl, and she a a whole essay to the ncaa went hey man because leah thomas finished whatever this certain place i've been all-american i've been uh you know part of the the picture of my entire college career my senior year i got bumped out of being all-american i got bumped out of getting to the collegiate finals by Leah Thomas. Now I don't have a spot anymore. That's where it gets dicey. And again, Leah Thomas, dude, 100% should be allowed to compete.

Compete against other transgender male to female swimmers. I know there's not a ton, but it's just not fair. It's just not fair. Here's the thing. Take it's just not fair but it's just not fair here's the thing take it Eric first thing first can we it's like we're having

a common sense discussion about this and it doesn't mean people are transphobic because they have a question about this and what pisses me off is like you know

what the fuck we're talking about so all the people out there that are like oh you're transphobic no we're not not at all we're not at all

here's the thing I have two points one live your truth So all the people out there that are like, oh, you're transphobic. No, we're not. Not at all. We're not at all. Here's the thing. I have two points. One, live your truth. So I'm glad you're living your truth. But two, swimming like that, it's not a right. It's a privilege. If you've decided to live your truth and we don't have a cap on what to do with this stuff, you don't get to swim with other people. Your ass should be at the

YMCA. If you want to swim, bitch, go down to the YMCA. YWCA. Whatever it is. You don't get to do this anymore until we figure it out. What you said, you say in jest, but it's the truth. You know in golf, they have a woman's T.

You know why? Because men are stronger than in golf, they have a woman's T. You know why? Because men are stronger than women. So they have a woman's T. So what they need to do is they need to figure out the percentage, and they go, okay, so if you're a transgender woman, you get minus five.

Whatever the seconds are. I agree. They should take from your total time, knock it down. Figure out what the percentage is. You have to finish fifth. It could do a difference in world records. Yeah, yeah. Finish, figure out what the thing is. And then we'll be like, but we're not there yet. Damn, yeah.

This shit is new. No, we're not yet. And like, if you see a thing like that, where the dude is 465th as a man, and then first as a woman, if you are sitting at home thinking like, okay, I guess something's up here. If you don't see that there's something up, like what do we do?

You know what I like though? It's bananas. What I like here. Everyone knows it's bananas. They do. We all know it's crazy. We all know this isn't fair in any facet. What I do love about it is the left, especially the far left, have gotten so out of control

that now, like when the voting comes, it's coming, right? Midterms is coming. Then the election is coming. Even some of the people on the left got pushed over to the right. Like, this is insane. Well, that's what happens. Like, we're out, dude. But that's what happens.

All they're doing is pushing it even more now. That's why I have to say, don't push me, dude. I'm in San Diego looking at Tijuana like, I'm at the border, baby. You know what I mean? I'm at the border now, and I'm looking like, huh, it looks good over here. You know what I'm saying? You go under there and get shot and raped. Okay, never mind. That's why I'm at the border. I didn't

cross yet. You just go like this. I'm looking like this. Like Chris's merch, don't push me. I put it on. I told Chris, I said, I didn't need to push. But that's the thing, though. It's like you've got the whole spectrum. You've got

far right, you've got right, middle, left, and then far left. These far left people are taking up so much space that everyone in the middle are going, okay, okay, okay, and then all together they're fucking button downs and those fucking those rose pink shorts that all the Republicans

have, you know what I mean? Those ones that screams my father's a lawyer in Cape Cod. Dude, I'm getting those fucking those rose pink shorts that all the republicans have you know what i mean those ones that screams my father's a lawyer in cape cod dude i'm getting those fucking shorts soon if you don't be quiet you know it's not even like they're not it's not even like they're taking up space they're just so loud i know they're in like a big room and they're just over there like the loudest on social media and these corporations are bending to it but they're realizing like even the left like newsom and stuff like and Biden's like, I didn't mean to fund the police. We need more infrastructure. Those are the shorts right there. Those are the shorts.

Those are striped. I want the pure salmon. What do they call it? Is it salmon? Salmon. I thought it was a carnation. That's that man tucking his own tail, man. That's the thing.

Because if you're far left, if you're far left, let's say you're far left and you're a woman and you want to be supportive of all this stuff, you're also sitting there seeing all these women getting their ass beat by someone that used to be a biological man and their brains are going, I don't know how I, how do I deal with this? How do I deal with this? You can't be, the problem is you can't be woke enough. You just can't be woke enough. You can't be. That's why it's like, you see. You just can't be woke enough. You can't be.

That's why it's like, you see Amy Schumer out there talking about like, oh, well, we shouldn't let these people be in fucking comedy and this and that. And like, dude,

she has fucking horrible tweets in the past. She's had tweets. Oh, but did you see her explanation? She goes, the interviewer goes, well, you know,

you have some pretty bad stuff in the past, like the N-word shows. Yeah, I know, but I made up for that because I marched for the BLM movement. Yeah, dude. All right. Cool.

Okay, so then if you did better, then let other people do better. Dude, it's just so silly. And then she's all women's rights. And then she posts a picture with her shirt off, with her tramp stamp or whatever. She's like, I need to do more stuff with my naked. I can't believe the response I got. I'm like, okay, keep doing that. Keep doing that, though.

Keep doing that. Yeah. We're all going to pretend it's all good. Keep doing that. I mean, you know, it's like, it's a lot, dude. It's a lot. And you can't be woke enough, you know? And if you keep that energy, if you keep that energy, they'll come for you, dude.

They'll come for you. No, but you know what you know what it is though wokeness is fluid because what's going to happen yes you're right you're right what's going to happen is it's going to be woke to be against transgender women yeah yeah that's going to be now though right right right they're going to make that one come full yeah it's going to go full circle it's going to like, and it's going to be like a movement or people are going to be like, yeah. But right now it's pushing towards that because it like, look, common sense, common sense takes over. And people look at this and they're going, ooh, this don't feel right.

And all I'm saying is like, it's like when somebody, it's like, you know, if you go like, if I say, hey, there are certain things when people are looking for a woman, right? And so if you have a transgender woman who's like, well, I'm a woman, and you go like, hey, you don't know what I mean? How about this? My wife and I are looking for a surrogate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right, right. Okay, so can you help me with that? You don't know what I mean when I'm saying. We're not being hateful.

It's not a hateful thing. I can't stand it when you get put into this box of you hate. When you're just going like, no, we're just trying to have a common sense conversation. Stuff that we all feel something about this. Yeah. Yeah. We got fucking heavy real. It's exhausting.

Sometimes we got to get heavy in here, dude. Yeah, I know. Sometimes we have to get heavy. It's fucking heavy, Kat. Look at the pregnant man emoji. Just go to the Patreon if you want to have silliness. I like it. It keeps the patriarchy alive.

Men ruling women's sports. I'm for it. Hot take from Nick. The thing to chime in with. By the way, that's secretly what they're thinking. That's secretly what they're thinking, man. They don't want to say it out loud. I'm telling you, these woke people, I'm telling you, there are women out there who are thinking like this.

Men are still fucking everything up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But even men are like, we don't co-sign this. It's hilarious. Like, dudes are like, no, no, no. We don't co-sign this. Like dudes are like, no, no, no. We don't want it either.

The trans women like get up there and then they win gold and shit. And they're just like, thank you very much. Thank you. I am a woman. But did you see the other three girls who won? Bro. They're all together. And that's the hard part about this Leah Thomas though. The dude look exactly the same.

I know. Long hair. That's the hard part. And that's just optics. I'm saying. And it's like, like I say. But just optics i'm saying and it's like like i say but if you're gonna do it go all in yeah no but my point is like you're living your truth is that is that is that they did it like six months ago they basically basically parried this

issue and and uh macho man one oh dude if you take you guys have ferraris yeah okay yeah you both have ferraris it'd be cool all right if i put a prius body if i take the ferrari body off and i put a prius on it not for me the shit ain't a prius it's still a ferrari so in the race yeah you can't be like in the prius race but i have a prius but i feel like a prius like yeah but you have the wiring of a Ferrari. But imagine, like, at the end, in all the races with the Prius and be like, oh, fuck, he won. And then everyone's just like, huh, well, he's got the best Prius. And everyone's like, he's got a Ferrari.

Yeah. But that's a Ferrari engine, man. But all the Prius supporters are like, wow. But it says Ferrari on the engine. I know, but he feels like it's a Prius. And again, lastly, just to say, I'm glad that Leah Thomas is living her truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. I don't care. That must have been hard.

I support it. It must have been hard to be like, oh, I don't want to. This is not me. Now you are you. Yeah, you. But it's a privilege to swim competitively. It's not a right. Yeah.

Good point. That's the best point, probably. Speaking of privilege, listen, one thing I want to say about the Patreon, one of the reasons we did the Patreon, I was talking to Theo this morning, who's not here right now because I think he started a new podcast with the owner of Jimmy John's in the Bahamas. But one of the reasons we did the Patreon, just so everybody knows, is you guys got to realize when it comes to advertisers and the people who sell ads on this stuff, we deal with a lot of stuff that you guys aren't aware of.

So not so much on my end, but for Theo, he had an episode that they didn't agree with. So sponsors go, we're not working with that show. You're like, wait, what? It's not my opinion. It's that guy's opinion. It's still Theo Voncho. They went, well, we're like wait what it's it's not my opinions that's that guy's opinion still the theo von show they went well we're not advertising on it the first people to jump off chris when his shit went down were advertisers so by us going to patreon we we get rid of all that man we get rid of all that we control the entire narrative now with ceo chris and i that's why we

did it that's the only reason we did it. Nobody can say, hey, make sure you do this. Make sure, hey, we're not going to work with this show because of this. We're out, man. We're going to leave it up to the fans who want to subscribe and pay $6 a month and get two free episodes, sometimes more than that because we do bonus episodes. And then we don't have to deal with it. That's why we did it.

It's very clear. I don't know if we gave that message out deal with it that's why we did it it's very clear yeah i don't know if we gave that message out clear enough that's why we did it yeah it's a it's a weird it's a weird time out there i mean they they they have you like cut certain like i have a you know friends are like oh we have to cut that part out because of fucking you know whatever it is whatever me on these or whoever want doesn't want to say that or whatever it is and it's just like a lot of it stemmed from the episode theo did he's like like, dude, I'm sick of bowing down to these advertisers. I'm like, all right, so what do you want to do? He's like, if we go to Patreon with you, me, and Chris, Chris, you know, the advertisers

were the first ones to, you know, jump ship when he was going through his shit. I don't support it, man. I said, I don't either. What do you want to do? That's where the idea of Patreon came from. That's the only idea that it came from. What do you got, Nick? She's got a kink in her stinger. What's up, what's up girl hi guys it's quinlan from florida and i have a debate club for you

looking people up before you try and date them i was interested in my neighbor so i set my bumble radius to one mile and i swiped until i found him and then I found his Instagram and his TikTok and discovered he definitely doesn't believe in women's equality he's probably a Brendan Schaub fan then I found his Twitter and his OnlyFans and he's doing some real devious stuff on there cuckolding porn he's doing bisexual stuff reading I mean, within five minutes of looking for him, I was watching another man lick his balls. So it was a lot. I don't regret my actions, but I am wondering what you guys think about looking somebody up before you date them. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Buzz, buzz. That's him. Is that him? That's him. Oh, my God. What was the time piece? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Lady. What's her name? Quin? Quin? Quinlan? Be cool, man. No, this is the, I can stop all this. Don't swipe.

What? Which way is the good way? Is it right? Don't swipe right on that fucking asshole. But she actually met him in person in the building, and then she said her mile to one It's her neighbor. One radius, and she found him. I mean, this guy guy look at this fucking guy well first of all can i say is that guy from street fight first of all no no here's the thing this is don't judge a book by its

cover so she saw a guy that she was interested in for shallow reasons well she's attracted to him physically there's nothing wrong with that i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that but what i'm saying is like she wanted it to be what – and then she like did some research and found out, oh, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Like the internet is great. It's like having a dossier, man. Yeah. It would be like if like in the day before the internet, you're at a bar. You walk up to somebody.

And before you say hello, you hand them a file. Here's my file. Yeah. Then they get to look through and be like, oh, you went to school? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love all your pictures. And then they go, okay, now we can talk. The internet provides that.

I have nothing wrong with it. She should have done that. Good for her. But also, she kind of dodged a bullet. He's getting his nuts sucked on. No, what are you talking about? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This guy would fuck if she's in or what?

Yeah, no, she. He would have gave it to her. What are you talking about? She would have had the best sex of her life. Now there's going to be a dude sucking on his nuts. She's like, anyways, we've been dating for six weeks. Yeah, she's like, anyways, he's pretty awesome. His friend Randy's around all the time that sucks on his balls, but we're having a good time.

Why is he Randy? The widest name you can think of. So wait, but that woman is not going to be going out with that guy. No. No, hard pass. So she doesn't regret her decision and she...

Well, maybe, I feel like if he still, I think he could still get it. Yeah, I do too. Yeah, that guy, that guy definitely would be like... I feel like he could

still get it. Yeah, yeah, he would just have to be like, ha ha, yeah, you know, like he would just have to play that shit, you know, and then she would be like,

oh, you know what I'm saying? She's like, Randy don't come over all the time. But also, hey, hate to tell you, ladies, any guy on OnlyFans getting his nuts sucked on by another

man. I mean, there's no dude on OnlyFans not doing a little gayness, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta get your nuts sucked on. I wonder if that's, I wonder what the percentage is. Because women don't pay for OnlyFans. No. Yeah, true. Like, how many women are like actually, oh, let me pay for some free. The dude would just be shopping on it.

Yeah. Ooh, doesn't this look nice? Doesn't this look nice? I should get this for you. You would have to be like, the OnlyFans would have to be like QVC. You know what I mean? You know, sued for item number 6457-5 is my cock. But you got to check both boxes.

So you're in Home Depot looking at fucking doorknobs. But you're also getting your nuts sucked on. We've got my cock here. We've got a ball. And you know what? Can we do it? We're going to throw in the other ball just for shit. We're going to give them the other ball.

Can we do this? We've got two left. We've got two left. And then the thing comes out. You can go right now. We've got two left. We've got two left. And then the thing comes out. You can go right now. We've got two left. We've got one ball, and we are going to throw it. Can we do this, Josh?

We are going to throw in the other ball. We are going to throw in the other ball. We have never done this. We have never done this. Hey, what I want to know is the guy sucking on his nuts during OnlyFans. Do they get done? Is he trying to negotiate the prize? Obviously, the guy's making money, get his nuts sucked. Is he like, hey, man,

you know I need 20%, bro. I sucked on your nuts. I sucked on your nuts from OnlyFans. But who of all his OnlyFans, it's gotta be 95% dudes. Well, that's why I talked to the guy in there. To me, he sounds like a businessman. Leah Thomas, you know what I mean? To me, he's a businessman. it's gotta be 95% dudes well that's why he talks to the guy listen

to me he sounds like a businessman Leah Thomas you know what I mean to me he's a businessman you know what I'm saying it's crazy he's a businessman

and I'm just saying it's like getting back to it he could still get it yeah yeah yeah yeah I wonder if she was like hard to pass or she's like

yeah he's kind of a mystery but also don't say that guy's a dime piece. That guy's not a dime piece. Yeah, no, he's stupid. Oh, God. Never mind. All right, what do we got here?

You know, the boys are on Patreon, Chris. And look, let me just tell you, we dropped this episode right now you're seeing today for the fuck of it, dude. You know what? Because we are, we're givers, dude. Yeah, dude, we're givers. And we wanted to come in and we wanted to record an episode for the fuck of it. Yeah, because we're giving you the sauce for free, daddy.

We are, dude. Monday. Congratulations. You have it. But we wanted to add this ad in here. We wanted to add this in because we want you guys to know who are on Patreon and who are following us on the free episodes on YouTube and Spotify. We appreciate you on Patreon.

We love you guys. We absolutely love you on Patreon. We love you guys. We absolutely love you. Patreon.com slash Cats Plus. You get the fire when you come there. And we drop bonus episodes not only for free, but also on Patreon. You never know when they're going to come. But every month, they're going to come.

Some saucy sauce for you, dog. Some saucy sauce for you. And honestly, dude, we just, we, we, how much do we love recording, dude? It's what we do. We love doing it better and we're doing this to get on patreon so we can control what we control and do what we want because we've all between the three of us theo von the king the wing and myself we've all had

to bow down to the man with the advertisers and you went you know what we're sick of it yeah we're gonna take matters in our own hands and we think the fans are going to ride for us and we see the subscription on Patreon. You're riding, all right? It's annoying when certain sponsors or whatever, they say like, can you cut this part out? We don't want to be, it's annoying.

You had a complete episode taken off of and no advertising. And I've had the issues, you've had issues. Obviously the three of us went, you know what? We're not playing that game. Yeah, we're not doing that. We're going to Patreon. Yeah, you get the raw, uncut shit on Patreon. So that's patreon.com slash cats plus.

It's Theo Vaughn, Chris D'Elia, myself. You can only get the three of us all together with the secret sauce on Patreon. Thank you guys for subscribing. Thank you guys for watching. And that's it. Go get you some Patreon. Thank you guys for subscribing. Thank you guys for watching. And that's it. And also. Go get you some Patreon. Enjoy this episode that we did just for the fuck of it.

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What's up, gang? Sammy G here, a.k.a. Dude With The Eyes. I got a little debate club for you. Recently ran into a girl I went to high school with. This is what I looked like before. As you can see here, it wasn't popping for me in high school. Which brings me to the debate club part. It is hitting your peak in high school

or aging like fine wine. Oh, come on. What are you talking about? I don't need sunglasses, man. You're getting old. Look at him. Oh, cool. That's outside Ontario?

No, no, no. That was recently. No, no, that's Hollywood. Is it? That was recently. There's a damn problem. Yeah, I remember that. Well, you're a dime piece. Well, clearly, you don't want your peak in high school man like there was this kid i'm not gonna say his name

dude he was the life of the party he was good at lacrosse gorgeous hair i go back home and i'm shopping in king supers shout to king supers and i'm walking i see see a guy following me like a sweatsuit not like a dope jogger sweatsuit like traditional dad sweatsuit gut tummy sticking out here's fucking

gone and he's following me I'm like what the fuck is happening right now and finally he goes bro remember me I'm like absolutely not

he's like come on my name's blah blah blah I went oh wow how are you doing we're talking dime piece in high school. Yeah. Just get all the chicks.

Okay. Star team now looks like complete shit. Here's the thing, guys. This ain't about peaking in high school. It's about not maintaining. Kind of, yes. Kind of, but honestly. Because there's a lot of people.

For the most part. For the most part for the most part this is about like people don't realize that your body changes your metabolism slows down like people just don't maintain but but some genetically like your hair loses we're not we're taking we're not taking into but we're not your yeah the hair thing okay but we're not taking into account the most important thing and that's height height in in high high school, you can be 5'9", 5'10", and a lady killer. But when you're 5'9",

5'8", 5'9", as a 40-year-old... Meatball, jot this down. Meatball, write it down. He's right, though. You better get it quick, Meatball. I don't know how old you are, but you better get it quick. Because, dude, I was lanky, bird-like as shit.

I grew up, fell into myself, and oopsie-daisy. I'm this now, right? So when I drive by, it's like my name is, is that really him? Or who's that? Because you see me like this with my bulked up shoulder covering the shit out of my face. I'm mystery in that window.

And that's cool. I'm with Chris on this. I was also a tall, lanky guy myself. Had a fucking tooth growing out of my fucking forehead in high school. Now though, daddy grew up. Daddy grew up. And then dude. Daddy grew up. And then you get out of the car, and it's better.

Life's kicking ass. It's better. He's cool in the car. When you're getting out of a Ferrari, I don't think they care. You'd be surprised. But it helps, though. No, I don't think they care. But it helps, though.

They saw a four-headed nose in that window. It's still a Ferrari? It was all four-headed shoulder. And you act like they were like, ooh. It was like, ooh, that's a Ferrari. I want you to do that shit in a Celica, motherfucker. And I'm looking out, and then I roll up the window, and my nose. It scratches.

It goes, whoa, it scratches. It goes. But if you're 5'6 and you got a Ferrari, you're still 5'6. Oh, fuck. Yeah, but then they still remember the Ferrari. Oh, yeah. It's a good segue because someone actually sent in a video of Chin before he hit his growth spurt. Oh. Chin used to be 300 pounds. I had my growth spurt at 12.

I mean, I've been 6'3 for a long time. Oh, you were the big kid. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That makes so much to imagine him being big in eighth grade.

Oh, this is fucking hilarious, dude. Get it, Chin. Get it. Holy shit. Hold up. Hold up. Is he even 80?

He's not an Asian, huh? No. That's Chin, dude. Oh, I thought that was a deep fake. That's good. That's damn good. That's Chin at four years old. Play that's hilarious play it again play it again

the best cats in the world that is insane do you not know that dude feels so weird looking at that right now too just so weird chingos oh shit you guys have the same size head ain't that a bitch for him man yeah he had a mustache at four years old holy shit dude look at the fucking eyes like oh my god you guys are the same guy that's a trip i feel weird Fuck, that made me laugh. I feel weird right now. You should feel weird. I do. Dude, that's Chin's mini-me. It's like fucking... Dr. Evil? Yeah, yeah. Well, can we...

You know what's the real sad part, guys? Really? Is that... That was the midget? Like, no, no. Like, if we're talking about men, like how we... Because, like, men get, you know, older. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I'm probably more handsome now than I've ever been in my entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, take it easy. But, like, a 50-year 50 year old woman it's different you think leah thomas or whatever will go back to man that's actually the thing that they could do that's the mood stay good looking stay good looking oh man you fucking the salt and pepper get back in there. Get in your Ferrari, bitch. Get in your Ferrari.

Unbelievable. Oh, you know what? Okay, this is the one. Do you guys ever see that Kurt Cobain documentary? The one that it was from his diary? Yes, on HBO. There was a girl that she was this big, heavy set woman. And she was like, yeah. She was this big, heavy set woman, you know?

And she was like, yeah, you know, I dated Kirk. And I was like, oh, shit. Like, they so, then she was, like, showing a picture of them back in the day. And I was like, this did not end up well. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? So it's like, and that's what I'm saying about, like, maintaining. Like, people don't realize that, like, you gotta, like, when you're young, you think you're gonna be this way forever. Especially for white people.

It's tough. Our genetics are tough. You know, it's like, it's like you really got to turn it. Like something happens, you know, some black people are great. Midwest Midwest women too. They start in high school. They're like, oh my God. And then they just like all of a sudden Asians too.

You call them cheese curds. Yeah, it's crazy. It's all about like diet, exercise and all this. But. Asians, too, man. They call them cheese curds. Yeah, it's crazy. But no, it's all about, like, diet, exercise, and all this kind of stuff. But also, Asians are about 70. They're just flawless. You have no idea. They're either 21 or they're 70. And then midnight hits, they're trying to fucking schmeagle.

Yeah, but then they're really wise. Yes. That's when they get wise. And if for some reason they all own a market, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. Speaking of, this guy's not going to age very well at all. Yeah, he didn't peak.

This is a maintenance thing again. I mean, shave the beard. Yeah, true, true. Yeah. Well, he's got a big nose. Those glasses aren't flattering. I'm a longtime fan. I live in Ogdensburg, New York.

And my little brother goes to the middle school in our city. My little brother goes to the middle school in our city, and he's been telling me how kids are going to school dressed up as furries. And they're, like, trying to make a whole movement out of it. And now there's school meetings about having litter boxes in the bathrooms that the janitors have to clean. Oh, wow. No. What's a furry? Hard.

Oh, a furry. Furry is where people dress up like animals. Yeah, and they think they're animals. Oh, right. Hard stink, dude. And they can only have sex like that? Even in middle school. Dude, if I took a shit in that litter box, if I dropped a fucking hard coil in that litter box, it'd be nuts, dude.

No, no, no. You know what it is? And then some poor dude has to clean up. Are they? Because I feel like a fur- I associate that i'm a fucking furry are they are they actually shitting in the in the box yeah dude because that's the thing that i know they're kicking it with their feet like a cat because if they're gonna do the the furry and have a play box that they're gonna quote unquote shit in like fuck all that i'm not being a furry and i'm going in i'm gonna shit in

their goddamn box yeah i'm gonna shit if you're gonna have that shit i'm not being a furry, and I'm going in. I'm going to shit in their goddamn box. Yeah, I'm going to shit all over that box. Because if you're going to have that shit, I'm going to squat on it, and I'm going to shit in it, and I'm going to eat the worst shit, and then boom, you get it. You want to play the furry game, dude? Let's play the furry game. Yeah, because is it everywhere? I'm going to paint your sandbox brown, but then also keep that same energy when lunch comes around. Right, right.

Because you want to act like a cat? You want to be a big cat? You're eating fucking raw meat, bitch. How about that? Yeah, and milk. Yep, you're eating raw meat. Good point. Yeah, dude. Yeah, be all in, dude. This is half-ass shit. You're eating fucking raw meat bitch how about that and milk yep you're eating raw meat good point yeah dude yeah be all in dude this is shit eating raw meat bitch but the real question is like you mean to tell me that to the school has to like it's like they're going too far with like

you know what we're allowing yeah what what the fuck well i get it though if people are like you know if you're like hey if you want to do the whole pronouns thing and all that stuff, well, then everybody gets to do it. Everybody gets to be like, well, I have my thing, too. My kid is a dog. My kid is a giant rabbit. My kid's a giant rabbit, and I want to be respected. Well, that kid's getting fucking carrots 24-7, dude. I want my kid to be respected as a giant rabbit.

So that's what they have to do. Put him in a cage while he was... What's good, King of the Sting fam? It's your boy Isaac Spots coming from Jackson, Wyoming. A little camera store action here. Yeah. I got a King of the Sting for y'all today. Going to the movie theater alone,

especially as a grown-ass man. You know, I want to go see that new Batman movie. It looks dope. I haven't been to the movie theater in probably three years. Me neither. And I don't really have anybody to go with. It just feels kind of weird walking in alone. You know, you're strolling and get your popcorn and your snacks and everybody else is in their

rooms kind of looking over at you. It's sad. You just kind of feel like a psychopath. I don't know. Is that all in my head? It's not weird. No, thank you. It's sad. You just kind of feel like a psychopath. I don't know. Is that all in my head? It's not weird. No, thank you. It's weird if it's a Pixar movie.

It's only weird if you go to a children's movie. Right. But if you're going to Troll 3 by yourself, you're petrified. But if you're going to Batman by yourself, you're awesome. But also, you have to walk in. If you're by yourself nowadays,

you have to walk in and you'd be like, hi, guys, I'm here alone. I'm not here to shoot up the place you've got to do that I'm just going to be enjoying the film I would appreciate that I'm on the road

by myself all the time yeah when the first like I used to feel there's like some kind of stigma like going to a restaurant by yourself going to a movie by yourself

nah fuck all that oh I enjoy it let me tell you man ooh there ain't nothing better I'm at a when I go to a city yeah

I got a steak dinner I love it me too I got my iPad no I love you with iPhone my headphones I'm at a... When I go to a city, I got a steak dinner. I love it. Me too. I got my iPad. No, I love you. With iPhone headphones. I'm in the shit, so I don't talk to nobody.

I'm enjoying my steak. Hell yeah. The fucking waiter comes over. Are you enjoying it? Like, yeah, bitch. You don't see me enjoying the steak. Nice, dude. I love that shit.

I mean, you're FaceTiming your girl, but I like where your head's at. No, I'm not. Yeah, okay. But even if he is, that's okay. You can do what he wants. Your girl is what ruins the steak dinner. You're trying to like, you get the steak dinner, you're trying to turn it and get it how you

want it. You know what I mean? You're all like, boom, boom, boom, boom. Dude, when I'm by myself. She's over here like. You're just kind of like, I just want to enjoy my steak dinner. Oh, and when I'm by myself, I'll grab that T-bone. Yeah, man.

There's nothing wrong with that. You need to go try it. Go try it, man. When you're in a movie by yourself, you don't have Nah. Yeah, man. There's nothing wrong with that. You need to go try it. Go try it, man. When you're in a movie by yourself, you don't have to. You're just popcorn. You got your snackies. Wow. Yeah, you're chilling.

You don't have to talk. I'm loving it by myself. I would say I'd rather go with someone else, but I definitely, yeah, I think that's cool that you go by yourself. If I'm on the road. Yeah, yeah. I only go to the movies when it's a kid movie with my kids. Other than that, I have. Well, that's, yeah, because that's what happens.

But when you're on the road, you go solo, right? You don't bring. Sometimes I do. You don't bring your opener or nothing? Sometimes. So would you rather bring an opener? Yeah, it depends. It depends.

I don't want the opinions. One time I had me and Dean Del Rey, right? And we were in this movie. It was this Bill Murray movie, Saint something. Vincent. Saint Vincent. And at the end of the movie, man, it's like this mother-son thing. And it's like, you know, we're both crying.

Oh, wow, that's gay. Yeah, he looks over at me like, we're grown-ass men crying. That's fucking hilarious. Funny, but very gay. So, like, you know, but I'm saying, you know, it is what it is. What I'm saying to this guy is, like, there's nothing wrong. You're not a psychopath if you go to a movie by yourself. No, it's kind of cool, dude.

It's just circumstances. You're taking ownership. Also, I think for me, man, I talk so much. I'm sick of talking. If I can go to a movie or dinner by myself, oh, it's ideal. Do you interrupt yourself when you're at? I'll go, oops. He just changes subjects in the middle of eating.

He's just like this. He eats popcorn. He's like, you know what I like about this movie? Actually, you know what I thought about it. And derailment. Derailment. You know what's cool about this movie? You know what I was doing the other day?

Wait a minute. You know what's weird is when I eat by myself, I do advertise it this dinner is brought to you by him god this steak is amazing it's brought to you by manscape this cost me 150 i could have made it at home with hello yo what's up guys uh my name is Andre from Northern California area. So I got a king or sting it, golf. Because a lot of my buddies are like, oh, golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. But I don't have either of those and I'm a pretty good golfer. So, you know, some of the best deals are made on the golf course, but also really expensive hobby.

So, I mean, not like that's a concern for you motherfuckers. You know, some of the best deals are made on the golf course, but also really expensive hobby. So, I mean, not like that's a concern for you motherfuckers. But anyways, Chris, I saw your shit on YouTube about your golf game. We'll just leave it at that. So, but yeah, king it or sting it or wing it, I guess. What's wing it? Like you'd give it a go? Yeah, I guess so. You know, try it.

You're just going to wing it. You're going to do it. I just gave you guys a new segment. You're welcome. Thanks, Bubba. From the looks of his face, I feel like he has a fat ass. You know what I'm saying? Like a big ass.

He said he didn't have a – I think he – baby guy backs, I think. Does anybody in here golf? You look like you golf, Nick. Nah. Never? I get way too frustrated. The thing with golf is you just – you can't try it. It's such a commitment, dude.

Yeah. Any dad that's a golfer, shitty dad, you know? Because it takes seven hours to do 18 holes. Yeah. Also, 18 holes. Dude, I'll do nine. Yeah, here's me. This is you golfing?

Doing golfing, yeah. And this was the first time that I golfed, and I was fucking, I was, they were going, it was going yard, dude. I mean, yeah. It looks pretty shitty. Yeah, no, I was good. Look, come on, bro. Oh, it was going yard, dude. I mean, yeah. It looks pretty shitty. Yeah, no, I was good. Look, come on, bro. Oh my God.

But keep going. Keep your head down. They were telling me not to. Keep your head down. The guy was telling me not to fucking swing all the way through, but I should have swung all the way through. If you fast forward it a little bit, you'll get to see me go a little bit yard. Or in the beginning, dude.

Wait, was it? Yeah. I mean, I fucking went far, dude. Come on, dude. That looks nice. You can pretend on dude that looks nice you can pretend but that looks nice no i don't know that at all don't wear those jean shorts yes let's not wear those you made yourself no whoopsie daisy you guys are wrong about this are you are you johnny daisy what are you johnny depps no i'm not johnny depp i'm chris talia and chris talia wears fucking

jogging half jeans dude and it's so ill. Did you cut them yourself? No, no, no, no. Those are old and I love, and I look great in them. And you can't. Are those Kristen's jeans? They would be a little big on her.

No, golf. Golf takes too much time. Yeah. The thing about golf is like when you first start golfing, you might go to one of these par three courses. It's only nine holes and it's like only not that long, so you can kind of have fun. But when you go to one of these big five par—oh, shit.

Oh, that makes sense. Make Nick get up. Sorry, Nick. When you go to one of those, you realize the skill level that you really have to have, and that's what makes it frustrating. It's such a— It's a mind thing. It's gotta you just you don't try surfing yeah you gotta go all the fucking time dude yeah it's just too frustrating yeah it's the difference between like you know and like you know you forget you gotta move it just a little bit and it's just very technical and

it's bullshit it's too hard and you're a bad dad if you're right. But the first time you smack that ball good, and you go, it's a great feeling. Because I've done some celebrity golf things. Me too, dude. And they stopped inviting me because I got hammered. And I'd start doing the Happy Gilmore. And they're like, well, we can't have you back. You're a liability. You're lost.

Listen to dad of the year over here. If you golf, you're a bad dad. You're just drunk on the course. Oh, I got sloshed, dude. Wow. Yeah. I have a drinking problem. What do you golf, you're a bad dad. You're just drunk on the course. Oh, I got sloshed. Yeah, I have a drinking problem. What do you got, Nick? We got a very unique Rip My Drip. Oh.

Is it just paint? Is that paint or are those actual tattoos? Because I see tattoos and paint and what that ass do, baby. Yeah, a little bit of both. God, I love red hair. It's awesome. Oh, you're a redhead fan. Oh, yeah, 100%. Strawberry? I don't know, bro. Just whatever. I don't, you know.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Whatever. That looks good. Are you a redhead fan? No. Really? Redheads and twins. They're kind of weird. Yeah, really? I hate twins. Oh, dude. My arch nemesis growing up with twins. Redheads and twins, man. That's the devil's work.

That's all I'm saying. Gosh, me and Eric have never been more in line. Fair enough. But also her. I've never seen a redhead like this. Oh, no. Redheads are. Is that Ariel from Little Mermaid?

Redheads, to me, the hottest is a redhead. Yeah. Oh, you have a problem, huh? Oof. If you want to call it a problem. Oh, man. Oh, you've seen too many movies, bro. This is some devil shit right here, dude.

You've seen too many movies, bro. This is one of those where it's like, Yeah, too many movies alone, bro. Do you think Little Mermaid did it for you as a kid? Maybe you were jacking off the mermaid? No, I don't know what it is. I've always loved, Redhead is just the thing, man. Yeah, when he was jacking off, he was like,

That's a first. Nah, Redhead is the thing. That's the first no redhead is that's the first redhead tell your girl dye her hair red though we've talked about it she you know i don't know if she's not into it no no no she she would but like i want her to be her though you know i don't yeah but also dye your hair red if that's your thing um i think maybe i should say it was the hottest yeah and she's like okay isn't a redhead yeah but she's yeah yeah yeah but but but but that's the thing you can always go redhead. Like her,

like also like her skin tone would be great with red hair, honestly. Yeah, but you need, but you needed red here too? Oh, I don't know. I never really thought about that.

Yeah. I never thought about that. Disgusting, Eric. But I think, my girl has red hair, but she has like red fucking hair. Really?

The color Ferrari red. Oh, you're saying she's got it. It's like a pink red hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's more pink. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Ferrari red. Oh, you're saying she dyed it. It's like a pink red hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's more pink. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm into it. No colors, but yeah. So anyway, this chick. Yeah, but this chick. But I think being redhead and Santino's going to hate this. It's actual. They have some issues, right? They can't be in the sun.

Oh, oh. They have freckles. It's actually not a great thing. It's like a. Yeah. And the men. It's a great thing it's like a it's a flaw if you're a dude and redhead you are ugly hopefully there's reincarnation

five risk of being a redhead your more sensitive to pain I fucking knew it you're angry all the time Santino increased Parkinson risk I knew that skin cancer risk

I knew that Parkinson more skin birthmarks show Argentino, increased Parkinson risk. I knew that. Skin cancer risk. Really? I knew that. Parkinson? Parkinson? More skin, birthmarks show. And if you have a mixed race marriage, your kids just should be put down. They look all sorts of fucked up. As soon as they come out, the doctor's like, ah! Like redheaded. Like redheaded black oh man like griffin you

get blake griffin yeah he's probably the only one that's sort of handsome it's interesting you brought him up nick because he has some real issues with the law right now but i hear this dude yeah yeah uh penya violent bob ross they call him i thought that was i thought that was like a ball if he was tall you know what i mean I thought that was like meatball if he was tall. You know what I mean? Side show Bob. Look at him. I guess I have some issues with him.

But I'm with Chris a little bit on this because I've never seen a redhead like that, and she is a dime piece. Bro, you've never seen a redhead like that? Like, what are you talking about? Never. Never seen an attractive redhead. Oh. Oh, well, that's not true.

Oh, come on. Come on, bro. Oh, name one. Go. I'll wait. There's one in the fucking- No, but name one. There's one in the WWF or WWE.

Natural redheadhead I don't now he's talking natural I know who you're talking about it has to be natural we're talking about how do you know

she's natural she's natural oh dude that here is natural so she's all woman alright I can't even have this conversation

it's so you know why cause you can't name one no name one who's a natural redhead

give me a name who the fuck knows who's a natural I'll give you one and help you out the girl from she's Zero Dark 30 she's a dying piecehead? Give me a name. Who the fuck knows who's a natural redhead? I'll give you one and help you out. The girl from Zero Dark Thirty. She's a dying piece.

Jessica Chastain? Oh, yeah. Yes, exactly. Is she natural red? I don't know her. Yeah, she is. She's such a great actress. Literally, she's one of the hottest actresses.

There you go. Yeah, okay. I just saw her. Also, what about the fucking one? Oh, Angie Everhart. Remember her? No. Well, Google Angie Everhart.

What is she in? She's older. Isn't Julia Roberts redhead? Forget it, bro. Look, Google Angie Everhart. What is she in? She's older. Isn't Julia Roberts redhead, bro? Look, Google Angie Everhart. Isn't Julia Roberts a redhead? Look at her. I don't know. Julia Roberts.

The redhead unicorns, huh? They're hot as fuck. Well, all of them? They're hot as fuck. No, not all of them, dude. No, she's not. But she sort of looks redheadish. Yeah, but I had the best one, right?

Because she's relevant. Yeah, no, Angie Everhart our hottest redhead, but yeah. Can we get to this? What is this? She might be the hottest one. She gives some background. She looks like the chick from that one kid's movie, the dragon one. Insecure.

Wow. She's right. That was good. That's behind those two pictures. That was right. I'm Jess. I'm 30 years old from Montreal, Canada. And the pictures you see now are pictures that I have recently posted

up on Instagram for International Women's Day. I recently had gone through a lot of body trauma. And the whole concept was kind of like war body paint to symbolize you know,

war you're within. I didn't check your order. That's that And have fun Okay I want to know Who was the one That did this No she's adorable

No she's hot as shit I love the nose piercing As well Let's see what she's saying Body trauma go on She has body trauma And she Since she did it for war

That's cool man Empowerment Yeah I like it Go ahead Love it Dude take ownership Of that ass

Yeah I mean look I mean rip my drip. It's like, you know, she's wearing paint and all that shit, but she's taking photos with it. It's not like she's going to McDonald's. Yeah, there's nothing we can rip. Yeah. You're a smoke show.

What's funny is it's all about perspective, too. It's all about perspective or whatever your intent is. Yeah. Because, like, that same stuff could easily be on OnlyFans if she's selling for content. Yeah, but she'd have to be, like, touching her pussy. Not necessarily. You can't just have paint on you. You gotta be like, oops, got paint on me.

See what's down here. You gotta do like that. That's so aggressive. It's not me who's doing it. It's these fucking OnlyFans chicks. Well, we don't know. Maybe she could do OnlyFans. Yeah, she could do it.

But hire the guy to suck on balls. You just have to only be a chick and you can be on OnlyFans. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or what paint you're wearing or clothes you're wearing. You could just be on OnlyFans, period. But what was she asking? I don't know the segment. She wants to rip her drip, but she's a smoke show redhead with body paint on. Yeah, she looks great.

She did it. There's no rip. What's her perspective? Rip My Drip is a segment where people send in their outfits and then we would rip them. It's never really went anywhere. I've always kind of hated it, but people keep sending them in. It's okay. It's good.

Well, she's a great. She's a dying piece. By the way. She goes, I support Russia and the war. I put paint all over my body. So it's kind of strange. I'm helping people. I'm saving people's lives by putting handprints on my titties, and I'm all for it, dude.

I'm all for it. I'll donate right now. Whatever. She might be for Russia. Better red than dead. That was my point, Nick. Rehired. Rehired. She might be for Russia. Better red than dead. That was my point. Rehired. Rehired.

Whatever she's gone through, you look like you're doing great. Yeah. And more power to you. And it looks great. You look great. We're all fans here. But also, don't worry about your 30. Your 30 is still banging and doing it.

Her disposition and her attitude is so sweet and positive. Yeah. Yeah, she's killing it. You're killing it. So whatever traumas in the past, it's the rear view mirror. Keep going forward. You're doing great. Yeah, I don't know what the bitches in Montreal are talking about, but you're crushing it,

girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't slap that pan. Now, this is your producer in the other room. Yeah, that's Big Mike. That's the head of Thick Boy, Big Mike. By the way, who has a hat with just a general dog on it?

What a fucking lunatic. Does he have your hoodie on? Is this a... Hey, does he have your hoodie but blank? Wait, is that life rips? Is that a blank? Does it say thick rips? What the fuck?

I think it says thick rips. That's the pink and blue tie-dye life rips. It is. Okay. Okay. Is the logo really low? No, you know what it is? Did you put the logo on your tummy?

No, you know what it is? What? He's got an OG one. That's the OG one. We made it a little darker. Oh, that you can't see? Yep. I like that one.

That's smart. I don't like that one. Nope. What's up, fellas? Just sitting in my car. I know Nick loves those car submissions. But last night I was hanging out with my wife, and I got a text message from my buddy. I laughed out loud.

She hit me with the, who are you texting? Then I got one of those weird relationship questions about, is he more of your best friend than I am? Oh, absolutely. I kind of had me thinking because it's different. How am I going to pretend that our girls are our best friend? The relationship I have with her, but she's obviously my best friend. She's not, though. Yeah.

She's not, though. We can do all the things together. Yeah, put a dick on her. We'll see how she does. She knows everything I like. Takes care of me and all that. So the bait club is my wife is my best friend. Is that weird?

How do you guys feel about that? I mean, dude, here's the thing. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. To steal Dov Davidoff's joke, dude, my best friend. Is that weird? How do you guys feel? I mean, dude, here's the thing. To steal Dov Davidoff's joke, dude, my best friend let me fuck other people. You know what I'm saying? That's funny. Yeah. Dov's hilarious. Dude, all right, look.

Nick liked it. Here's the deal with this. Shout to Dov. That's funny, actually. It's really funny. Dov Davidoff's fucking hilarious. You just, you, okay. You got this? Yes. she is your best friend of course you

live with her and you're in a good relationship but just don't know just don't say that just have your best friend be your best friend do you yeah it's like one of the things that kristin said in the beginning she was like you know what i? It's like when guys act like their girlfriend is their best friend and I go like this, you're the one. Because you get it. You got her pregnant right there. But then later on, we were like winking at each other. We're like, we know that we're the best friends. But you're not though.

Don't say it though. No, but this is something different. This guy was enjoying something and his girl was like, why don't you enjoy things like that with me? When I text you, do you enjoy stuff? It's like that's what this is really about. Yeah. Women want to be in charge. She felt some type of way, yeah.

Women want to be in charge of joy. Of the way you feel, yeah. Of joy. Yeah, joy, joy. And there could be no joy unless they explicitly have written consent. But it's also like my best friend sent me a video of someone elbow deep in another man's ass. It was a joke. I would never do that. You've never sent that.

That's best friend talk. Yeah. I hear you. There's different types of best friends. Imagine a girl sends you like, oh, check out this guy's balls. She'd have to be a comedian. I don't know if I'd like that. Yeah, yeah.

That's why you have different relationships for different things. You're not my best friend and you're welcome for that. You don't want to be my best friend. That's what I'm saying. I think you have different relationships with different people for that specific reason. It's okay. It's okay that she's your best friend. Is this beard day?

I like that hoodie though. That zip up. That's raw gear. I have the same hoodie. Yeah, I know you do. Shout-out to Bradley Martin. And this is Gerald Mearshark. Holy, is it? No, it's not. They're identical.

Oh, my God. Well, that guy looks like the guy who, I mean, he looks like the guy who didn't fight yet, but yeah. Yeah. He's Canadian for sure, 100%, so. What's up, Theo? What's up, Brendan? What's up, Chris? I'm Jacob. I'm from cincinnati ohio and i

actually work at the liberty funny bone i'm sitting outside of it right now cool um i have a king at her stinging for you comedy clubs that are also restaurants when i'm working every time i hear a utensil or a plate or something like that clang against the table i always am curious if that bothers the comedians or messes with their focus or anything like that. Dice me nuts. So, yeah, I was just wondering how you guys feel about that. Huge fan of all of you guys. Gang gang, buzz buzz, flap flap.

Oh, I like flap flap. It's nice, but it's not the lobster. You're talking about Naples coming off the hook. Well, okay, but hold on. Every comedy club is also a restaurant. Nowadays, yeah. That's how they make Lobster. You're talking about Naples. Yeah. Comedy off the hook. Well, okay. But hold on. Every comedy club is also a restaurant. Nowadays, yeah. That's how they make their money.

Right. So you're talking about the Brea Improv? You're talking about what? I know. It is what it is. It doesn't bother me at all. Yeah. I mean, you know what bothers me is if the tables are circular and it's like banquet

style, then that sucks. But not if it's just food and shit. It's rare. It's a problem. It's rare, it's a problem. Well, because people are coming early to eat. Yeah, yeah. But like, it's terrible like, if it's like in the middle of the show, and you're hearing like

wedding, it's like at the wedding time where people are like, but it's never really like that. No, it's not. At a certain point in the show, they're just enjoying themselves. Like, when I get on stage, if it's your show, they've already done eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Art's Home Club is better at like the check drop and just being more discreet. You just got to give them your time.

It's pretty tough. Like, hey, the feature's doing this time, I'm doing this time, so they know when to drop the check. I'm pretty sure my boy David Lucas opened for Louis C.K. What he does is he goes, when I get off, you drop the check, which is kind of tough on the staff. It's real tough. It's pretty tough. Because they're there for a hot second. It's pretty tough you drop the check, which is kind of tough on the staff. It's real tough. It's pretty tough. Because they're there for a hot second. It's pretty tough to do the check drop.

It actually sucks. Yeah, it does. I don't even think about, like, I try to pretend like it doesn't matter enough. Like, if you're a good comic, you can get through it, and you can, but, like, it's just crazy, dude, the lull. It's a distraction. But I hate, like, you know,

maybe you're going into a bit that it's like there's a significant setup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like there's a way, and then, like, you're starting it, and then, like, you know, maybe you're going into a bit that it's like there's a significant setup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like there's a way. And then, like, you're starting it. It's always like this. And then, like, the checks. And you see people not listening.

And you're like, you got to hear this part. I know. That's so funny. That's so funny. You need this part. Because you're checking all of your guys. They're not going to get it. Yeah.

Yeah. They're not going to get it. You missed that. It's almost like they should stagger them. I guess they kind of do, but it still fucks it all up. Is that Craig Conant? I was just going to say, is that Craig stagger them i guess they kind of do but it still fucks it all is that craig conan i was just gonna say is that craig hey guys king it or sting it what up chris brennan theo it's andrew from north carolina and i got a debate club for you guys today king someone's car oh how bitch is it to key someone's god that's me ex-girlfriend yeah

i'm about to say it'd be the most bitch crime ever. That's exhausting to face, too. And the girl's sister. Your boy's a nice guy. He's got no enemies. Yeah. That's be a girl, daddy. That sucks.

Anyways, it's not really a debate, but I was just thinking, since I can't key this guy's face myself, it'd be nice to hear you guys make fun of him. Take him to Denny's, you know? Give him a nice grand slam. Hell yeah, dude. Gang gang, buzz buzz buzz soar wow this guy couldn't be more

of a fucking Chris D'Elia fan but I love it I love it you thought you thought Brendan's fans were fucking

that shit I need that face on your next life rips fucking hoodie that's it right there dude Keanu Carr is such a bitch

move especially if it's another guy. Dude, just come to my face, dude. Yeah, it's like kicking somebody in the balls. Yeah. Like, what are you doing, man? It's such a bitch move, man. Yeah, that sucks.

It's exhausting to fix, too. And that thing's all the panels. Yeah. From front to back. Well, it's like when somebody breaks into your car, the worst part about it is when they break the window. Yeah. Because then you're like, this is going to – now I got to – That happened to me.

They did that to my car about a month ago. I got to fix this window. I'd rather have a window than keyed around like that. Yeah, that sucks. I'd rather have a broken window. I've had that happen to me. You know, key a car, just – Dude, that hurts my feelings that that happened to that guy.

Also, that's a cool color. That's a fucking dark gray color. All I saw was the amount of money it's going to cost to fix that. It's exhausting, man. You keep saying exhausting. He doesn't have to do it. You got to take it to the shop. It's the energy.

Yeah, the energy, the time. It's going to take a hot second. Yeah. It's exhausting. But that wasn't like a great car, but you know. No, but still, it's his car. It's still his ride, dude. It took it from a fine car to a fucking piece of shit with one key. but you know no but still that's his car it made it it took it

from a fine car to a piece of with one key and you know what also and the guy that did is a coward yeah he's a coward yeah you're a that motherfucker coward yeah i assume it's a young kid like no no no no it's not a young kid it's a coward yeah you're right like he should have stepped to that guy like yeah you shouldn't have done this yeah but it could just be a vandal like somebody who just did it for no reason. That's so. You think it's mostly a personal crime? I think that's.

Yeah. When you key someone's car, it's personal. It's usually maybe a fucking. Because you know yourself what it would be like for your car to get keyed. You know what I mean? They really keyed that thing. This is the last one. Who even has keys?

Don't you have the fucking. Who's got a key? Boop, boop. Before we watch it, let's just watch. And I don't have mine. One more time. Yeah. Wow, that's a last one. Who even has keys? Don't you have the fucking whoop whoop? Who's got a key? Whoop whoop. Before we watch it, let's just watch Minishin one more time. Yeah. Wow, that's a great one. I can't believe that. That's hilarious.

That's what I'm saying. I think he's an Asian. Yeah, he's Mexican for sure. I mean, no doubt, dude. He's feeling it. That's my favorite one of all. That's a small person, yeah? I think so, yeah.

I'll give that a kid with a Mustang. Yo, King and the Sting fam, what up, man? Just headed to work right now, safety first. Yep. Got a King it or Sting it for you, though. Destination weddings. Me and my wife just got married in Hawaii, kept it a very small party. Didn't have my drunk-ass uncle there with his 22-year-old girlfriend.

He's 56. Okay. Nice. And, yeah, we just, you know, just got it done over there. So what do you guys think? Destination weddings. King it or sting it? You two are getting married.

You take this first. I'm all about destination weddings. I wish I was having one. I went to a destination wedding. I went to Adam Devine's wedding, and it was fantastic. You know, like being a guest at a destination wedding is great because you get the discount at the resort you're at. It's like a little vacation.

So you treat it like a vacation. It's a vacation. We went two days early to really enjoy the thing. It was in Cabo. It was at a really nice one. It was like the room we had was dope, and the price of that room was normally like almost $1,000 a night. You got a discount?

And we got a half off of that. So I was like, let's stay two extra days. So I'm saying I'm all about destination weddings. It's like you're on a vacation. And by the way, we were in the pool. And it was all people I know. And it was like, oh, I've never actually been on vacation with my friends. And it was really nice.

It was cool. So I'm all about that. Yeah, there it is right there. Destination weddings, it was great. Why are you the only one in a suit? Well, it was like, this was like after. It was cool. So I'm all about that. Yeah, there it is right there. Destination Weddings, it was great. Why are you the only one in a suit? Well, it was like, this was like after. Nah, dude. You want to go somewhere with your friends, go get a fucking pizza.

Don't give me shit to do. Yeah, don't force it. It's a lot of pressure, Eric. Listen. There's no pressure. It is, though. I got to find a combo. Or you don't go and you're a bad friend.

No, no, it's an out. You know? It's an out, man. Not really, though. Oh, man find a combo. Or you don't go and you're a bad friend? No, no. It's an out. You know? It's an out, man. Not really, though. Oh, man. Yes, it is. Because you two are doing your wedding around the same area. I'm having my wedding on a Thursday because I want all my comic friends to be like, dude,

I booked a weekend. I'll be like, it's totally okay. I like that. I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad. Just send me a good gift. I like that. I want mine on the weekend.

Mine's on the weekend because I want it to be on the weekend because when they don't come, I want to be mad. Yeah, but you and your fancy ass wedding with like the wedding person that sends like, you know, all these emails and now I got to book my... Yep. So I got to go on my honeymoon and I got to come back. Yep. Or I'm mad.

Yeah. We're coming back on the 17th just to go to your freaking wedding. See what I'm saying? It's fucking annoying. It's not even a destination one. Imagine if we had to go to... It is a destination one. You might as well be in Cabo

because it's a long drive, motherfucker. It's not like we're going to downtown. We got to get in the car. I got to stay in a hotel. This motherfucker, you're having a destination wedding.

Fuck you. This guy, dude. How dare you? Is this downtown LA? No, bitch. You're having a destination wedding. No, Santa Barbara, you can drive back that night. No, man You're having a destination wedding. No, Santa Barbara, you can drive back that night.

No, man. This is a destination wedding. No. Your drunk ass ain't driving home that night. Daddy's driving. Daddy's drunk driving. No, you're not. You know you're not.

Is it open bar, by the way? I don't know. You only have coffee. Wait, wait, wait. I have coffee. You better sell one of these Ferraris. It better be open bar. I don't even drink and I'm going to be furious.

It's me. What are you talking about? Come on, man. What's that mean? You show up, you get all the shit. It's all good, man. It's open bar? Gift baskets?

I think so, yeah. Don't be the guy that doesn't drink and then we don't have to drink. I went to a wedding. The guy doesn't drink or eat carbs. Bro, my shit's set up, bro. How dare you think I'm not set up? Oops. But by the way, you're having a destination wedding.

Okay, let's just establish that. Santa Barbara's not destination, dog. I'm driving back that night. Don't fucking stick up from him. I'm driving back that night. You're going back that night. I'm going back that night. Yeah, you're going to be mad driving.

And yours is where, Eric? Huh? I got the invitation. It's actually near here. Oh, it's hell, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's that golf course that's like, you know, it's a golf course. Her parents are paying for it, so I'm like, whatever you want to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's why it's on a Thursday. It's like, you know. That's good, yeah. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to go to yours. Yeah. It's going to be simple.

It's going to be quick. Thank you. You're going to knock it out like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. Those long ones, those long religious ones. The Catholic ones? Oh, my girl's Jewish. I's going to be simple. It's going to be quick. Thank you. You're going to knock it out like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. Those long ones. Those long religious ones. The Catholic ones.

Oh, my girl's Jewish. I get to kneel down. She wants to do some of the Jewish tradition. Oh, yeah. That's fine. As long as it's quick. Yeah, it'll be quick. Do we got to pick her up on the chair and shit?

No, I'm going to get circumcised again. So it's going to be a whole right before the wedding. I'm going to pull it out. You know what I mean? You guys going to come to Lambeau Field for mine? I'm single. You got to get a girl first, man. Let's one step at a time.

No, because Nick's wedding, there's going to be gambling. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's going to be like a whole thing, like a casino theme. This will be over in five years. I got to go. You got to do over, under on Nick's wedding. His grandma's going to give some embarrassing speech.

Happy birthday, Grandma. It's a birthday today, March 22nd. What is she, 40? 85. You know what? I know what it is. There's something in here. They don't vacuum or something.

Oh, really? I feel fine. Dude, by the way, I haven't coughed the whole time I've been here. I just sneezed twice before the shit started. It's alarming, dude. We're at the end time I've been here. I just sneezed twice before the shit started. It's alarming, dude. You coughed and looked over at the wall. It wasn't flat. You're right.

You're right. We're at the end of a pandemic, and you're just sneezing away. He went like this. It's fine, dude. And he looked at the wall like, oh, my God. Did that come out of my body? It's fine, dude. In previous, dude, I'm worried about you.

I'm worried about your health because previously you had those stomach issues. Oh, yeah. You look 30 minutes late to the show. You know what it is? Your skin is still atrocious. You look white. No, my skin's good, dude. I'll tell you, my skin's nice, dude. 30 minutes late to the show? You know what it is? Your skin is still... You look white and atrocious. No, my skin's good, dude.

I'll tell you, my skin's nice, dude. It's a nice kind of like alabaster, like chill kind of like... By the way, in the fucking 1600s, I would have been like the guy that everyone was jealous of. Agree. I mean, I would have had that high collar. No, they would have burned you as a witch.

What are you talking about? Because I'm, yeah, magical, but like I fucking straight up... Or you're a vampire, yeah? No, yeah, right, but I look... But this is the thing, I'd be like, oh, he's indoors all the time. He doesn't do field work. He's rich as shit. You imagine how many times I fucking straight up. Or you're a vampire, yeah. No, yeah, right. But I look, but that's, this is the thing. I'd be like, oh, he's indoors all the time. He doesn't do field work.

He's rich as shit. You imagine how many times I get sucked off. Do you have, remember that show? I remember that show. There was, what was that show

about the King of England? You know, there was like, so he's like jacking off and there's a guy holding. Oh, you told me about this, Sean. What movie is this?

The guy's holding, he's like the cum catcher. Yeah, awesome dude. Everybody had a different kind of job back in the day. What movie is this? The guy's holding a, he's like the cum catcher. Yeah, awesome, dude. Everybody had a different kind of job back in the day. What a terrible gig. That's a horrible job. No, that job is an honor. Dude, that dude's like, one day you could grow up to be a cum catcher.

But it's a family business. So how do you teach your kid? You have to like, no, not like that. Don't let it fall. You know, head the king. He shoots ropes. Go this far. Yeah. I want to see that show yeah what show is the tutors it was the tutors the tutors the tutors he just comes and i got halted huh yeah so that's the that's some

ball i love how nick knew i probably googled king of england jacking off cum catcher boom wow is that a real thing yeah that was somebody's gig I think like Chris's real color is coming through hard under your eyes That's who you that's your real color and the and the Rouge that you have to put on to the summer's coming up person Summer's coming up. I'm gonna get tan as shit. You're like a redhead You must have a vitamin D deficiency. I have good vitamin d deficiency i have good tan i get good tan i get good time your body is what your face doesn't no my whole goes crazy i look great your face i've never seen you tan dude it's like people think you're doing this around you know what no he's white face year round but your body's chocolate you you you show

him you know what when i sit down chris and i get some sun and i chill and when i get spray if you want me to get sprayed and show you instantly, I look great, okay? And my shit looks, it's like, when you see me tan, you get it.

You're like, oh, okay, because it's unfair. Because it's unfair. I don't believe you. So we got to make sure he's white all the time. I don't believe you.

Otherwise it's unfair. I don't believe it either. I don't think you tan well at all. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, dude. We need to see this. We'll see what's up in July. No, we'll tell you what.

By July, I'm going to come in for one of these King of the Sting and the Wing episodes, and I'm going to fucking look so good. And I'm going to also be like, I got this workout session I'm doing tonight, dude. Crazy. By yourself? Dude, I'm going to look crazy. No, no, no, no. You're going to come in with noxzema on your forehead, and you're going to be like, it's

a whole thing. I was outside in the sun. And then you're going to be like, this is not talking about it. It's a whole thing, man. It's a whole thing. I don't in the sun. And then you're going to be like, this is not talking about anything. It's a whole thing. I don't want to get into it. Wait, Bruce, with sunshades on, I'm so sorry. My forehead is just burnt.

Do you get dark, Eric? Yeah, yeah. I can tan. If the rays get past the fucking hair. Yeah. The knuckle hair. Then you get through the forest. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I actually shaved my knuckles because I was sick of people talking about it. Did you? No, it's going to come back terrible. Live your truth. No, Eric put a Philly fade on his knuckles.

Yeah, I faded them up. One guard on the knuckles. Shout out to David Lucas. He was like, you're going to get these faded? I did. Is that it, Nick? That's it. All right, kids.

Phoenix. Chris is in Phoenix Celebrity Theater. ChrisDelia.com. Go to Phoenix. Yep, and I will be in Phoenix April 14th through the 16th at Stand Up Live with the squad. Chappelle Lacey will be with me. And then also April 22nd through 23rd, I'm headlining Moon Tower Comedy Festival at Cap City, the new Cap City. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday, and then the big boy April 28th

my special drops on Thick Boy YouTube get you some yeah LOL Comedy Club San Antonio and Houston coming up

check it out yes love you guys see ya I just got a call that said they want to act the wing. They got me working OT all night long. How many times I got to make this song? Hey, hold on. What is this? Now y'all want to switch?

Y'all just added Stevie and Eric and now y'all adding Chris? How's that going to fit? Wait, I get the gist. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this. It's the king, the wing, and the sting. It's the wing and the king and the sting. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, wait a minute.

Let me think. It's the king and the sting and the sting Hold on, hold on Hold on, wait a minute, let me think It's the king and the sting and the wing Let's go King and the sting and the wing Got it full circle, I put on the whole team Legendary trio, Britney, Chris and Theo, what you mean? You know it's the king and the sting and the wing