The Golden Hour - Episode 178: Couple of Garbage Boys

Episode Date: June 10, 2022

Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan from Are You Garbage? join the guys to talk New York vs LA, how their podcast gained popularity after many years, Theo's intervention with Brendan, murder shows, watching TV and eating in bed, pandemic hair, Are You Garbage? fan submissions, food myths, class reunions and much more! Get More "Are You Garbag?" https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbageSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dude, you and I don't have this problem. We really don't. But two out of three bros will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35. 35, yeah. There's more than 50 million men in the U.S. that suffer from male pattern baldness. That's 50? 50 mil, dude. 50 million male pattern baldness.

That's a lot of bros losing their hair. And that's why our friends at Keeps offers a simple, affordable, stress-free way to keep your hair. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash cats to receive your first month of treatment for free. If you stop at 50, I mean, that's a no-brainer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've done it all right. Yeah, you gotta take that. It's the plot from Interview with the Vampire, right? It's the same shit. You're basically a vampire. Yeah. But you don't drink.

Not now. That was a deep-ass question. Yeah, it was. That really rattled me. Start a whole new podcast. I'm gonna be thinking about that on the plane for sure. That question it was that really rattled me I'm gonna start a whole new podcast I'm gonna be thinking about that on the plane for sure that grocery store bagger

really got me you ever met this guy? oh I'm the dumb one you can't argue there's something about me you have no idea what you're saying gang gang

buzz buzz soar oh I'm in town I'm doing sets in LA you know how it works daddy? you know my schedule bro Buzz, buzz. Soul. Oh, I'm in town. I'm doing sets in LA. You know how it works, Daddy? You know my schedule, bro. I'm trying to figure it out, yeah. You know my schedule, dog.

I know your schedule. We have a lot of the same schedule. Dude, if your wedding is in two weeks, you're doing show tomorrow, right? But you're going to do it. Right, right, right. I am. I actually talked to her and decided thank you yeah no no i can't all right dude i'll do the show also um

what we got these dudes they're on it everyone knows who they are i know what i'm saying you guys are blowing up i understand we're We're starting it. God damn it. I don't know how show business works. Just make sure. You know what I mean? A little pre-show argument. I like that. Make sure everybody's fucking comfortable and we're all ready to go. Yeah, we're good.

Everyone has drinkies. You got Diet Coke. Good, baby. I got a screaming cold Diet Coke over here. I'm set. And I want to say, as a fat guy who's done a bunch of pods where the guest doesn't have a desk, I appreciate this couch. Couch is nice.

I can slide it back a little bit. It's nice. Those Jetson chairs. I mean, our fan base is going to be familiar with you, but if they're not, these are two of my favorite human beings in comedy. Oh, thank you. The pod, Are You Garbage? The most unique podcast in all the land. I appreciate that.

The rest was just bullshit, but you guys actually have kind of a thing to do on your show. Even when he compliments us, he's scary. I know. But it's Foley and Kevin from RU Garbage Man, all the way from New York. Thanks for having us, man. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for having us. This is the first time meeting Chris?

Yeah. You know what's crazy is whenever I meet, because I'm from New Jersey, and whenever I meet people with your energy, I feel so good. I feel so like, oh, yeah yeah these people because like you guys are obviously from the fucking east coast oh my gosh but like salt lake city utah it's like witness protection yeah but um what's his name miller yeah yeah yeah but uh it's just uh not i i love it like whenever i meet i'm like, oh, yeah, fuck, that's right. Yep.

That's a whole area. Because in L.A., you don't really – you don't run into guys with this vibe. You really don't. Guys over 200 pounds, you can say that. No, that's fine. That's fine. You can fucking say it, Chris. Guys who don't have body dysmorphia.

I haven't seen two guys as ugly as you. It's refreshing. Chris is like, we need you guys to hear more, man. two guys as ugly as you in like eight months. It's refreshing. Chris is like, we need you guys to hear more, man. You guys are ugly. I mean your voices and your cadence and your fucking energy. 100%. And the reason I love these guys, when I did their pod, I was aware because Timmy Dillon, who's a mutual friend of ours,

did your pod. And then when I was going to LA, I'm sorry, going to New York to do all the promo for my special, every big comic, every comic in New York was like, you have to do R.E. Garland. Every single one. I was like, you know, you never know. People are fucking weird. And I was like, are they cool?

And everyone's like, the best. They haven't gone too Hollywood. You haven't been able to trick everybody so far. It's just assholes. Hollywood? We can't go Hollywood. You've been able to trick everybody so far. It's just assholes. Hollywood? We can't go to Hollywood. I can't go to Jersey.

What are you, nuts? Yeah, yeah. You guys are getting there, though, man. Things are going well. We took an escalate here. Yeah. Sure. Nice.

I was going to send you cars. I know, but that's also how trashy I am. I'm like, he's going to send car service? I can't do that. You're like, no, man. We'll just Uber. I'm like, no, please. We're helping us out. Don't worry.

We'll walk. Does the L train run out of here? I'll take that. We pull up in a limo. We're both sitting in the front seat. Couple of rookies. The driver's in the back. Buddy, you take a load off. Hard working guy like you relax back there. Don't worry. I brought my passport. I didn't know where we were going.

You said Calabasas. I'm thinking it's going to be cluttered. There are going to be security gates and this, where we were going. You said Calabasas. I'm thinking it's going to be cluttered. There are going to be security gates and this, that, and the other thing. Calabasas sounds exotic. Oh, man. Then we rolled by a 7-Eleven. I was like, okay. Yeah, that's where I get my big gulp.

You know I'm garbage. I get a big gulp every single day, man. I like how you have three drinks, too. That's awesome. Oh, yeah. Oh, dude, Theo, who's not here today, shout out to Theo, he called me this morning, legit concerned, because yesterday, you know, when I do my shows, I drink, man. I like that.

He's like, dude, I know we joke around about intervention, stuff like that. He's like, but for you, he's dead serious. And this is coming from Theo, he goes, but for you to drink on most of the shows, it's concerning. And he goes, because I've been there, man. You're drinking to get through it because you hate it. I was like, oh, no, no. You love it.

I absolutely love it. This is the highlight of my day. I absolutely love it, dude. I have a drink to celebrate. That's where we're different. What do you do with the rest of the day, though? I assume you worked out this morning, right? You wake up too early. 5.30. Whoa. 5.30. I'm a little bit later than though. I assume you worked out this morning, right? You wake up too early.

5.30. Sleep later than that. You look more tired than me. You get eight hours. I feel great, bro. And also, the key is I'm not drinking. That's the key. The key is I got my coffee, I got my water, I'm chilling. I'm a drink behind.

Because you got three. You got a Diet Coke, a coffee. Hydrated. This guy's all over the map,'s three different guys three drinks you do have this is eight shots of espresso unbelievable that's insane it is insane and then that's just redlining constantly yeah yeah i got three shows and you don't and you don't really well you go to bed early a lot though sometimes yeah. Yeah, if I'm not doing sets, I'm in bed around 9.30, 9.30. Dude, Kristen, she was like, please come into bed early tonight and just sleep. And I was like, I don't want to. I said, I was like, let's watch murder shows.

You know, you watch murder documentaries. I watch fucking murder documentaries. What are you talking about? Like actual docs? No, Christopher Dunge, you know, the fucking surgeon who, they made a show about it, Dr. Death, Joshua Jackson plays it. But then a show about it, Dr. Death. Joshua Jackson plays it. But then I watched the whole fucking thing.

I heard the podcast already. I watched the whole fucking thing on Dr. Death. And then at the end, it was like, would you also like the real documentary about it? And I'm like, show me the fucking documentary first. I got to watch Joshua Jackson do the fucking thing? I watched all eight episodes, and now I want to see the real thing. I fucking would have never watched Joshua Jackson. But you're a night owl.

You're a night owl. Right. So she was like, let's watch murder shows. There's a Christopher Dunst thing on. She was like, okay. She comes down, and then after 10 minutes, she's like, I'm going to go back upstairs. I'm like, you fucking tricked me. I'm so involved.

Yeah. I have to finish it. Dude, she goes up. She's like, please, just this one time, come upstairs and watch with me. But what's early? 11. Yeah, why can't you watch it up in the, you got the TV up in the room, right? I tell you what, dude.

11? What are you, a vampire? I tell you what, man. What? Here's the deal. What are you, Steve Aoki? What are you, a DJ? I'll sleep when I'm dead. I'll sleep when I'm dead, 1230. P. Diddy, three hours of sleep. Don't stop. No, I sleep. I sleep long enough, but I just go to sleep late. But anyway, this is getting derailed.

My point is, the bed is for sleeping and mostly just sleeping. But fucking, yeah. But I don't want to like, she wants to like, she orders food. She's like, can we eat in the bed? I'm like, fuck no. Do you know what she's got like? Nah.

That's crazy. I figured you have a fatty. That's what I thought you guys all did out here. Y'all laid in like huge triple king size bed and ate burritos. Yeah, you'd be right. With like white comforters and pillowsritos. Yeah, you'd be right That's his idea of success But but I don't want to like I don't know I very much del what I, plus we have like a great room downstairs and I'm like,

so I'm like, all right, I'll do it. So I go up and we're, it's 11. This is early for me to be in bed. So I go up,

we start watching the thing and I pass the fuck out and then I wake up the next morning and she, dude, she's already looking at me and she's like, we got nine hours of sleep

and I'm like, I didn't want this. And then I say to her. You're fucked now. I know. I know. You're fucked. I know.

It's going to get earlier and earlier. I know. As you know, you're eating dinner at 3 o'clock. I know. You're in bed by 6. I know. The grays start really coming in. It's over.

It's over. Amazing shit at the movie theater. Do you guys have ladies? Married? Yeah, I'm married. Married. Kiddos? No, not yet.

We got married right before the pandemic. You guys are young. How old are you? I'm 36. I'm 46. Okay. Yeah. You're 46? You look young. You guys literally look, yeah, the same age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen the YouTube comments. They agree with you as well. No, no, no. I mean, he looks your age.

Yeah, it's the perfect combination. Maybe I'm just off. I don't know, but you guys look like 28, 30, right? You're nuts. I would say early 30s. I've also been drinking since April. Yeah, exactly. This guy's on 15 shots of espresso.

But that's a privilege. Hey, you look really good. Man, you ever put a little rouge on, huh? You into that stuff? Try this dress on. Get over here. You're in Calabasas, man. It's not gay out here, dude.

But no grays or anything. I got a couple grays. But a couple, though. I got more. He You're in Calabasas, man. It's not gay out here, dude. But no gray's or anything. I got a couple gray's. But a couple, though. I got more. He's got a great head of hair, too. That really sells him. You have my brother's hair. The pandemic, dude.

I was holding tight until the pandemic, and then it all went. What are you talking about? It was stressful. It was stressful. I was doing all right. Keeps.com promo code shop. It might help. Yeah.

I'm on it, dude. I'm on the right. Keeps.com promo code shop. It might help. Yeah. I'm on it, dude. I'm on the fucking, I'm on the minoxidil. And then I do air support, do the pill. That's what I call it. Is it not helping? I call that the air support. Yeah, bring in the air support. Call in the heavy artillery, dude.

Give me the drugs. How long you been on it? Years. I started in like my early, mid-20s. It started like, I started getting the runways a bit. Is it finastros? Finastro rider. Finastro rider. I always forget what it's called. Me too. And I take it the runways a bit. Is it Finastos? Finastor Rider. I heard Finastor Rider.

I always forget what it's called. Me too. And I take it. Yeah. Just in case. You take it? I've been taking it because they're like, you got to take it. Really?

You do? Wow, that's wild. That's good, though. I should have started earlier. That's what I'm saying. I met his dad the other day at the Laugh Factory. I know. His dad, how old were you?

74. 80? Yeah. 74? Yeah, yeah. Full, all silver fox. Love a silver fox. That's a man who appreciates his hair.

He doesn't want to lose it. Yeah. Did you lose it, career? Yeah, maybe. Right? That's why I'm happy we got successful like this year. I'm like, I'm married, starting to make a couple of bucks. I'm like, everybody can suck my dick.

Yeah. I'm chilling, baby. I love that. It'd be sweet once you make like a million bucks, just go bald, dude. Full base. I got a couple, two years left until I got to really. It's weird when guys hang on to it. Some guys, but some.

Here's the thing. Can I say this to you? Yeah, with your luxurious fucking hair. Please tell me. I'm also 900 pounds. I have my crosses to bear. Hey, hey, you're 450, okay? I'm not saying this because I love you.

It works. And you said, why don't they just buzz it? Bruce Willis rocked that for fucking 25 movies. That's what I'm just going to keep. This is long for me. I'm just going to keep going shorter and shorter and shorter. You know what I mean? There are guys.

I love you. Not Bruce Willis, though, are we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not Die Hard 7. I'm going to have to fuck this dude up. This guy Willis, the horrible guy. You're not Die Hard 7. This guy's talking crazy. Tough guy, huh? Dude, I don't get, like, my boy Brian Callen struggles with his hair.

I'm like, dude, get a wig. It's 2022. A long one, a long one. His works, though. It doesn't, though. If you get close, it looks like a baby ostrich. But what I think about, like, Brian's got a good head. Like, he could just go bald. It looks fine.

I got a horrible head. Bro, mine? I have Russian baby hair in the back. Yeah, you would be a tough look, I feel. Oh, my God. I look like Mr. Burns. You know I look like Mr. Burns. Oh, 100%.

Dude, you look so great. I even start, like, doing this. Start calling them Smithers and shit. Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. Oh, forget it. Dude. Oh, my God. Yeah. No, but I always say say the pieces of me are very ugly but when you throw them all

together somehow it works dude i don't know what it is yeah but the pieces bro you take my nose nobody nobody being born would be like oh that's the nose i want sure yeah that's the mouth that's the eyes or the nah hey chris i know, if fans are enjoying this episode with Are You Garbage Boys. It's a great episode. It's good. It ain't Patreon, daddy. No, it's not. And last time on our Patreon, patreon.com slash cats plus, P-L-U-S, we had our brothers

on. We had our brothers on and Theo was on and then Theo will also be on the next Patreon version. The gang is back. Yeah, the gang's back. We try to make sure Theo's on all then Theo will also be on the next Patreon version. The gang is back, dude. Yeah, the gang's back. We try to make sure Theo's on all the Patreons. So the Patreon's popping, man. Patreon.com slash Cats Plus and sign up.

If you sign up now, you get all the other Patreon exclusive episodes that we have backlogged. And then you also get all the free episodes ad-free, dude. Some say it's the best Patreon ever. Well, we certainly do. You and I do. We do, yeah. And we're trying to make it so it's more bang for your buck. That's really what it is. A lot of content, dude. Get the Patreon.

Let's take a little break from chatting with our boys from Are You Garbage, Chris? Because, dude, you and I don't have this problem. We really don't. But two out of three bros will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35. 35, yeah. Yeah, dude. There's more than 50 million men in the U.S. that suffer from male pattern baldness.

That's 50? 50 mil, dude. 50 million male pattern baldness. That's a lot of bros losing their hair. And that's why our friends at Keeps offers a simple, affordable, stress-free way to keep your hair. 24-7 care and support. You meet with a doctor virtually, all right? It's low cost.

Treatments start at just $10 a month. Okay, see, I would think that that would be $14,000 a month. It's fair. That's a fair price. Are you saying, what was it, $10? $10 a month, dude. Affordable. Yes.

Keeps everything your hair needs delivered straight to your door. Discreet little package. Nobody has to know you're doing this. Proven results. Remember, prevention is key. Prevention, yeah, that's the thing. That's what I do. Yes, daddy. Treatments can take four to know you're doing this. Proven results. Remember, prevention is key. Prevention, yeah, that's the thing. That's what I do.

Yes, daddy. Treatment can take four to six months. See results. So act right now. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash cats to receive your first month of treatment for free. That's keeps.com slash cats to get your first month free. K-E-E-P-S.com slash K-A-T-S. Chris, I know you're a big UFC fan, dude.

Yeah, I like the UFC. I've been getting into it. You know what's been helping? Draft Kings. Oh, because you're making money while you're watching, dude. Yeah, it's like watching passively is nice, but why not make a little coin? God, you're so right, Daddy. And listen, UFC 275 is this Saturday.

And our friends at DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC, has a heavyweight offer this weekend. And it's fights with a special parlay for all the listeners and viewers of King of the Sting. They took my picks. My picks are Yuri, Shevchenko, and Wehle. All right? You bet the three of them. You do a parlay.

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New customers can throw down $5 on UFC 275 and get $150 in free bets instantly. Free money, dude. Dude, free, dude. That's code K-A-T-S this Saturday at DraftKings Sportsbook. The official sports betting partner of UFC. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Do you guys feel now you're getting more successful?

Any pressure to look a certain way, change your vibes? It's a good question. I mean, we were also very poor. I think I made $19,000 in 2020 or whatever. But was your wife balling? She was doing all right. She was definitely paying the bill. What did she do?

She just works in marketing. Oh, okay. Yeah, real job. But she has a legit job. She has a legit job. So you're all right. She was paying the bills and everything. Awesome.

And then, yeah, we kind of – she actually gave us the money to open the studio because I was like, the bills and everything awesome uh and then yeah we kind of she actually gave us the money to open the studio because i was like i didn't have the money and i was going to get it from a my boy who's a dominican loan shark hell yeah and he was like i want 10 of it moving forward and i was like all right i'm going to do it and my wife's like take the money yeah and i was like all right yeah she's she's nine and a half so i'm saving what are you doing take mine sounds like a shadier deal the dominican or your wife i know we currently have the yakuza looking for it yeah but i do looking back i would that guy would my buddy would have been making five i would have owed him ten percent of our garbage sounds like a smart

guy forward yeah sounds like that's not a guy you cross either dominican loan no no dominican in new york oh no dude no, no. But then your wife believed in the whole journey. She did. She was like, I think it's fun. And we were starting to cook a little bit,

get some traction, and then she was like, just fucking take the money and open up the studio. And then how's the road life now that you guys, because it usually starts with, you know,

you guys got passed at the cellar and stuff like that. Wait, hold on. How long you guys been doing stand-up hard? 14 years. Yeah, I'm probably like 12. You say 15? So this is the thing.

14. So this is the thing, like, obviously I know you guys are stand-ups, but to have that under your belt. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You have the skill set. And then blow up. Dude, it's so killer, dude. Ah, it's fucking awesome. I'm happy for you guys. Thank you. That's what we get, like, because our live

shows, we don't do live pods We'll go out like me and him co-headline and then we close out The last like 20 25 minutes together like dicking around with the crowd they ask us their garbage question perfect cuz we shit on them Yeah, live pods Schultz actually told me so that just Schultz is like I'm like everyone do live pod He's like live pods are for people who can't do stand-up. He's like you're fucking New York City 100% we can't compare it to you know,'s like, you're fucking New York City comedy. Shut up. Boom. You can't do stand-up. 100%. And we can't compare it to, you know, we did minor road things.

Yeah, it was like a road feature. A little bit. Like, you know. And I mainly worked in the city hosting and we can't really compare

to what it was like to go out by ourselves but going out together, it's fucking, it's awesome. The experience, you guys are boys. We bring our boys,

our two boys to open, our producer and we just roll as a group. I know you're fighting it. No, it's exciting for me. producer and we just roll no it's like enjoy this i know you work hard and you've worked hard but fucking god damn it like it's like what's that fucking saying where luck meets preparation or what the fuck you know luck is preparation and it's fucking something whatever the fuck it is this is it dude you know what i mean it's like and then it took the one thing that popped and now people are gonna know

how funny you are as an individual and as a stand up it all is awesome dude it's awesome dude thank you that means a lot coming from you guys

thank you you guys have the chops but then also the reason why I think you guys are blown up right now is because you're two solid people you know what I'm saying

you guys are actually good people thank you man that's why everybody fucks with you. I'm telling you, you name a New York comic, every single one of them is like, you have to do that show. Have to do that show.

I just like having somebody I know next to me on the plane so I don't feel awkward. Yeah, he's tough. He's a tough man on the plane. Gotcha, gotcha. It's not easy. 28 and a half. You know what I mean?

Our producer, shout out to Toby, he unfortunately gets placed next to him he's the buffer for whatever and i'm like it's like a fucking uh he's that's a real road so we're all like-minded goofing around it's fun it's like a tom selleck movie where he's sitting in the seat the other guy yeah on the poster dude i turned around the one that we were on a plane flying fucking somewhere and i turned around he's in the aisle were on a plane flying fucking somewhere, and I turned around and it goes to the bathroom. He's in the aisle. Like, his head is in the middle of the aisle just hanging out.

There was a learning curve involved in that. I always thought as a fat guy you want the window. Never. But they fuck you in the window because they don't let that thing come up. Yeah. And I reach back. I dig around. I dig around and try to find, like, a dead man switch back there.

Yeah. But you always go aisle because then once we take off, you lift that up and pop a cheek back there. Yeah. But you always go aisle. Because then once we take off, you lift that up and pop a cheek out there. Aisle all the time. All the time. Snack time, it's tough. And sometimes those flight attendants get real aggressive with that cart. Yeah, the cart.

And they know I'm there. Then you're fighting for the elbow space. If you're the aisle, you're fighting for the elbow space. He just had that with some guy, fighting for the elbows. The way out here, I fought with him for fucking five hours in my head. And I'm like, I might fucking, if he says something, I'm like, we're going to get, this is how angry it was. It was like trench warfare for the elbows, for the knees.

He's out of my zone. And then at the end, I was playing just like a stupid game on the screen, just like killing time. I was playing like fucking tic-tac-toe or something. He's like, hey, you want to borrow my fucking Nintendo Switch or whatever? I'm like, oh, you are a nice guy. I'm just a lunatic. Talk about trash. Playing the games on the back

of your seat on an airplane. He's a game of Battleship. And we were using the what to do with an emergency card to block so we couldn't see. Do they have that in first class? Do they have that stuff up there? No, no, they give you the actual board game. You get your own Battleship, actually.

You all miss Pac-Man, so. That're on Ms. Pac-Man's set. That is a thing. We have level 7. We're now flying first. This was our last economy flight was out here and back. And then from here on out, all the tickets. But we really can't afford it, technically. Yeah, but I got to buy like three years in advance.

You know what I mean? To get the tickets. Yeah, using miles. It's the optics of it, too. Yeah, but bet on yourself. You only make more money, so it's good. Well, it's also like we're fortunate that Patreon does very well, so it's like- Your Patreon's huge.

You know, fucking, it's like free money. It's like drug dealer money. You know what I mean? We don't use our miles. Poor people don't use their miles. We save those. You save it for like a once-in-a-lifetime vacation in Disney World. To Orlando?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm using the miles to Orlando. So I know you're fucking garbage. Yeah, but I'm using the mouth Orlando. I know you're fucking garbage. Yeah, but I'm flying on a Thursday. All right, Nick, let's get to it. So you guys know how the show works. The fans submit.

They submit style. I honestly still don't know how the show works. Not a fan of the program. We actually asked our fans, or we had a number of fans who wanted to find out if they were garbage. Hilarious. Oh, look at this little dude. Hey, what's up, team? This thing, the wing and the RU garbage team.

I've got one for you. So I was in jail in 2012. This guy's classy right away. In that time, I learned how to make a lot of food, some spread, some dishes. Well. Sweet and sour chicken. Hooch. All this stuff.

And now, 10 years years later I'm married with the kid I still make those dishes at home I still serve them to my son my favorite is a chili chili pickle spread it's a basically ramen noodle with chili and pickle all wrapped up in a tortilla Yeah, you're not in prison anymore, bro. Yeah. I'm trying to shit myself. Really good. Sounds awful. Does that make me garbage? Yeah. Look at his son. They're so blonde and gourmet. Am I garbage?

That's great. That's fantastic. He's so cute. That's an easy one, huh, fellas? Yeah, I mean, you know. Making jailhouse meals even though you've been out 10 years. You're making them for your family. That's wild. That sounds like it would be so good.

Sounds disgusting. No, dude. Oh, yeah. It sounds all right. Yeah. A chili ramen burrito? Hey, come on. All the things that I like.

I'm going to get a DUI after this. Chili ramen and burrito? Bro, you like ramen? Not really. All right. Ramen noodles? You like chili? Hey, can I say something?

Hopefully this doesn't get my brother in trouble. Okay, why? When we were kids, we grew up poor. We had ramen noodles. And then I used to put extra flavoring in it. Yeah. And my brother goes, you know that's Chinese sweat. They make that Chinese sweat.

I never ate it again. Jesus Christ. My dad, that's- Is that racist? I mean, well, he was what, five? So fuck it. You can be racist when you're five. Yeah, because that's Chinese sweat. I was fucking- I was when i was nine i was i was ahead of the local clan

i had the purple outfit but the um what was the freaking that though the green leader yeah purple or red empirical wizard nine-year-old yeah hey guys um where was the thing uh my dad i have a story like that My dad told me I used to love those Nutri-Grain bars Remember those Nutri-Grain bars Oh yeah

After the Nutri-Grain bars They're great They're Snickers But yeah Yeah I know So I would eat them all the time And then I said Hey dad

How come you never eat These Nutri-Grain bars And they say He literally just threw it out He said Oh they actually make you butt fat And I never ate one again Yeah

Dude It's just not true. I still don't eat them because that's subconscious. I've had ramen since I was six and I still think it's Chinese sweat. That Chinese sweat is good though, bro. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's salty. It's all sodium. It's great. Ramen is something too that you forget about and then you're like,

oh yeah, I could get ramen. And then you go get ramen and you're like, why don't I ever think of this? Well, A, because it I could get ramen. And then you go get ramen, and you're like, why don't I ever think of this? Well, A, because it's so unhealthy. You ever looked at the nutrition facts? It's not good. I could be Calabasas on you guys, but it is. Ramen is so unhealthy.

That's why it's good. Ramen, burrito, and what was it? Chili. And pickles. Even better. That's why. I can leave the pickles. He's garbage, yeah?

That's garbage. Garbage behavior. Yeah, that's garbage behavior for sure. It's got to be. It sounds good. The only thing I would say with this gentleman is if he maybe elevated the ingredients, because I would assume that in prison- Go to a Trader Joe's instead of the commissary.

You know what I mean? The farmer's market's probably not the best in there, I would assume. So as long as he's getting good stuff and putting it on, I could see the combination. It would be hilarious if there was a farmer's market's probably not the best in there, I would assume. So as long as he's getting good stuff and putting it on, I could see the combination. It would be hilarious if there was a farmer's market in prison. How's the produce today? The tomatoes ripe? Yeah, I don't know, man. You got to get out of that prison.

That's a tough one. So wait, he was in jail for how long? I think he said 10 years. I think he said he was out 10. He's been out 10 years? I forget, yeah he was out 10. He's been out 10 years? I forget, yeah. Out 10 years. He's still hiding like shit in his ass.

Well, you've had to been in there a long time to become like a culinary expert. You know what I mean? He's been in there enough. He's not just kicking around ideas. It really depends how true to the script he's keeping these recipes. Like I said, if he's getting different ingredients and doing it a little bit better than what he has in there, but if he's putting, like, fucking shampoo in it,

like, you know what I mean? The secret ingredient's a little toothpick. That's not good to be feeding your kid that way. Yeah, if his date night's hooch that he's been making for three weeks with his wife, get some hooch over here, babe. All right, kids, nobody flush the toilet for a couple hours. I got a fresh batch in there.

What's this lady want, Nick? You look like she knocked on your door. Which is a broad one. We're closed. I think it's a ring cam. When I was 14, I would steal my brother's weed after he would go to work.

He was 17. I would steal just little pinches at a time. Me and my friends would smoke it and get high and be so scared when you come home from work garbage for stealing my brother's weed gang gang buzz buzz or that's great nope that's me she did it so quick that's good yeah i like when they're quick yeah that was very well executed i mean who didn't tell you who didn't steal someone's? Who didn't pinch a bag of weed at some point? You got to.

Especially your older brother. I like how she smoked weed and then was so scared that her brother was going to find out. She was like, you were just from the weed. Yeah, that's the weed. That's the weed talking. That's the anxiety from the weed. That's like the guy who made the sandwich and be like, I don't know why I keep shitting myself. The chili burrito. I guess most people do it.

I didn't steal weed. We weren't big weed guys growing up. My brother had a convertible Mustang and the new Game Boy colored came out and I stole his Mustang when I was 13 and drove it to Toys R Us. When you were how old? I was 13. And it was a toy Mustang. Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no. It was an actual Mustang. You were 13. You think you stole his power wheels? Because he was 13. I'm trying to merge here! I stole his car. It was all like, you know, neighborhood driving.

I mean, still? I want a red Nintendo Game Boy. Wow. Yeah, that's Grand Theft Auto. She stole some weed for her. I'm garbage here. She's good. You guys know when you kill a guy, right? I know a few people.

I know what she's talking about. This is Theo. I thought that was Theo. It's Theo's brother. And Mark Wahlberg had a fucking... He also talks really fast. It's a tight mullet right there. He's in a hot tub or is that a...

Stand alone. Yo, garbage gals. Cat's crew. What do you think? Old tank turning into a pool. King's king. Garbage, recycling, sore, or snore. Wear glasses.

Anything's classy. Remember that? Chin say something. Love y'all. I couldn't swing it. I never got that. That guy was ready to go. That didn't happen in one take.

I can tell you that. No, yeah. He was out there for a while. Let's take 19. This lukewarm water sucks. We've seen that a bunch. People, because we talk about above ground pools versus in ground pools versus a standalone hot tub and a lot of that shit.

And a lot of people in the country have these horse tanks or whatever that they then just turn into above ground pools for like 80 bucks. The only thing that makes that classy is- I kind of get it. It's kitschy. It'd be fun. I get it. If you have kids, it's like a one-off thing.

Sure. You put some fucking tiki torches around that, though, and shit. Sure, you can make it work. That's what I'm saying, yeah. A beets pill. It can be fun and wacky. The back of a pickup is fun when people put tarps in there and fill it up. But you're just basically fucking...

It's like a chick with glasses and a hat on. You're just disguising how ugly it really is. You know what I mean? It's like we know what you really look like. You're not funky. Yeah. It's not an infinity. You're not fucking funky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not funky. Stop with the shit. You know, girls. These aren't prescriptions. This is bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing that makes that classy if he's sitting in a, if it's a big thing of ice,

right? That's what. Like an ice bath. Like an ice bath. And an athlete. I mean, it looks like he's got a nice piece of property. I see a palm tree in the back. It looks like he's got a nice piece of property. I see a palm tree in the back. It looks like he's got a little bit of land.

Is that Florida? I assume you do that, right? Ice bath? Yeah, I do ice bath. You have that at the house? My six-year-old does ice bath. Jesus. Yeah, he saw a thing on Tom Brady.

He's obsessed with Tom Brady. It's very strange. Where do you do it? In your bath? What's up? Where do you do the ice bath? No, we have a tub. He stole the car.

You have an ice tub. Oh, you have one? You have one. Like running at all times? Not all times. But he wants to go in. We the car. You have an ice tub. Yeah, we have two. Oh, you have one? You have one? Like running at all times? Not all times. If he wants to go in, we do it. You make it freezing? Freezing.

Or it's always freezing? No, we make it freezing. We dump in ice and we get the water circulating. You wouldn't expect, I would expect that he would have that back there. I would expect he does it. I wouldn't necessarily expect you to actually have one. Just like a trough. You know what I'm saying?

I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really know what it is, to be honest. You have a hot tub at the house? Yes. Sauna too? I would assume you have a trough. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really know what it is, to be honest. You have a hot tub at the house? Yes. A sauna too? I would assume you have a hot tub. No sauna, a hot tub.

Really? No sauna? Uh-uh. I'm shocked. No, Logan's a sauna guy. I'm not a sauna guy. Hot tub connected to the pool? Yes.

Very good. Okay. Very good. That's the way to do it. Is there a waterfall going down to the pool? There's a waterfall, yes. Okay. You guys got a waterfall. I'm like, very yes. Okay. You guys got water for it.

Right, right, right. It's actually an ordinance. You have to have a waterfall. You're keeping up with the Joneses. Try keeping up with the Kardashians. It's exhausting. Do you have a pool? I have a pool, yeah.

I got a pool and a hot tub is connected to it, yeah. In the place you're building, you're putting in a pool? I'm going to put in a pool, yeah, with a hot tub, yeah. Nice. Yeah. But you guys, like in New York, I pool? I'm going to put in a pool, yeah, with a hot tub. Nice. Yeah. But you guys, like in New York, I would never, nobody has pools. No, no, no. Yeah, the Vanderbilts.

Yeah, it's like you guys. A pool in New York would cost you $14 million to have the land for a pool. Yeah, where the fuck would you put it on the pool? Unless it's Paltrow, you're not going to pool, man. I mean, most hotels don't even have pools. There's like four rooftop pools. So like in New York, what would be balling? Like the penthouse in some building?

Yeah, there's that shit. There's that like that billionaire, like, you know, all those international billionaires coming to buy like $50 million apartments and shit. Yeah, I don't know if podcasts and stand-ups are going to get us there, fellas. No, I don't think so. No, that's tough. I don't know, man. But like Chrissy D leaves in Staten Island.

Beautiful. She has a great home. But that's Staten Island's like, you know. That's the part. You're thinking like where Harry Osborn lived in Spider-Man. Well, to me, Staten Island's like either you're a family man or you're in the mafia. Yeah. There's no in between.

It is. It's very like big, nice houses. There's a couple plumbers over there, too. Yeah. A couple HVAC guys. Yeah. So yeah. Couple HVAC guys.

Yeah. If you want, but if you want to live in New York and have like a three bedroom like place, you gotta be Beyonce. You gotta be Beyonce making $20 million a year. To own it. Yes. To own it. Yeah. I mean, those houses like, you know, those houses like down in the village, like a Brownstone

or whatever. It's like two stories or whatever. You guys want to stay there? A million. Like $10, $11 million. Insane. But you guys want to stay there? A million. Like $10, $11 million. Insane. But you guys want to stay there? Well, we don't know now.

I don't know. We were talking. We got the rundown from Timmy D. From who? Dylan. Yeah, but to do what, though? Timmy's smart, but here's real smart. That's why, yeah, he was like, you got to start, you know.

Real estate. Me and Timmy talk about this all the time. Real estate's the business. But we were talking about this summer. I can't really. I mean, I've been in New York 10 years. I'm really hating the winners. And now that's the business. This summer, I can't really. I mean, I've been in New York 10 years. I'm really hating the winners. And now that I have a couple of bucks, I think we might relocate the whole.

No, yeah, right. We might relocate the whole operation down to Lake St. Pete or outside Tampa. Just for the winner. There is nothing more New York. Just for a couple months. There's nothing more New York than doing that. That's hilarious. Of course.

I would always say I'm from New Jersey. And it's so new money, too. And open up a hot dog cart yes and a little bit i always say i'm from new jersey but no nothing is more jersey than living in florida like nothing is more new jersey than living in florida it's it's like where everybody they just migrate everybody my parents are talking about how we might buy a place in florida i love tampa man yeah tampa's great st pete's great clubs yeah the club's there that's what I'm saying I'm like we get you fucking there's a liar headliners come in they're the guests the whole fucking thing let's do it

yeah get a pontoon boat or something for a couple of months that's my level that's what I think success is get caught up with the Colombians start start running, bam, bam, couple of cigarette boats. Yeah. Woo! Last break, Cats fans. Hopefully you're enjoying this episode with the Are You Garbage Boys, Foley and Kevin. UFC 275 is here. And DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of the UFC, has a heavyweight offer for this weekend's fight with a special parlay for all of our listeners.

Go ahead. Listeners and viewers, listen. They're riding with your boy here, your thick friend. They said pick three fighters. We're going to boost the odds. How would you pick? Dude, I picked Gary in the main event against Glover Teixeira. He needs to get it done in the first two rounds.

If he goes past two, he's going to get a little dicey. I think Glover's going to grab one, price him in the fourth or fifth, so we need it done in the first two rounds for Ben Onyari. Then you got Shevchenko. She wins. She defends the most times ever for a female fighter, the most title defenses ever. She beats Ronda Rousey if she wins that fight.

Then you got Wehle. Wehle, young Juncek is the fight. It's the co-main event. That fight is fantastic. So you go to DraftKings Sportsbook, head to the app now under the UFC page to check out Brendan's picks and bet on it and ride along with him. Right now, all customers can place a same game parlay for Saturday's fight. And if it hits, you'll double your winnings. Yes.

Download the DraftKings Sports app right now. Use promo code KATS. New customers can throw down $5 on UFC 275 and get 150 buckaroos and free bets instantly. That's code KATS this Saturday at DraftKings Sportsbook. The official sports betting partner of the UFC. Minimum age eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. How do you guys?

How'd you blow up? I'm in. What happened? I want in on this. Looking back. Mine was late night eating. And the Carbohydrates. Yes, that is? I'm in. What happened? I want in on this. Looking back. Mine was late night eating. And the Carbohydrates. Yes, that is what I was asking.

Carbs are not your friend. The pandemic screwed me. It was bees for him, actually. I was skinny before the pandemic. No, no, no. But how did you guys get... How did it happen? I think looking back at how it happened, I think we had been podcasting for like 10 years

together for like 100 listeners that nobody gave a Garbage for 10 Thing called the center city comedy podcast and we had a thing called hard feelings that we now just do that's a whole nother show Oh, yeah, so we've been doing it together for 10 years and we're like we're really you know You know, we're very good together in comics in the city Trying to come up and run around and then is it we were tight with all these big comics the schultz's the gillis's because we were working comics in the city but we just hadn't popped uh and then the pandemic hit and we had launched this we had launched already garbage two weeks i think we were two episodes in

the pandemic hit i was i remember i was talking to my wife i'm like i can't like this one can't fail as well like i we just so we doubled down yeah's like no shit yeah she's like of course something she also moved from Germany to be with me she was packing at the time so I'm like I have a fucking doubled down German yeah doubled down in what way

we started doing two episodes a week because I'm like well like we can start all these get friends that we were with or all these people we were friends with

sitting around at home on Zoom sitting around and I'm like hey you wanna do the podcast like fucking of course I love you guys it would have taken five years to get them all in studio yes but like in a row I think we went like norman soda schultz

gillis and like that really started plus i think it's a unique like you said it's unique yeah it's unique yeah so people were like oh this is fucking cool it's the best time because again most podcasts is just you know shooting the shit this is a little different because we have fans of it but in general like fine kid or whatever it is, just shooting the shit nonstop. So it's like when you get to do something where there's like kind of a, not a produce element, but there's like- Some sort of theme or like underlying theme. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, yeah. And another thing we realized too, especially when we were doing it via Zoom, the questions we asked are like stupid.

It's like, you know, what kind of fucking vacations did you go on? What kind of car did your mom drive? Like, all that kind of, like, did you drink milk with dinner? And we were getting these stories that comics never told on stage or on podcast before. Because you know you're going to a podcast, you're like, oh, I'm going to try to work in the fucking, getting caught with my pants down, the handjob story, all that shit. No one's asking if your grandmother's patio had astroturf. Yeah, and we were getting, you would see comics be like, I haven't thought about this

in 15 years. 100%. And now they're telling it and so it's like, we were getting different stories that no one ever heard before. Yeah, it brings up like original organic like thoughts.

Like when I, those questions you ask, I'm like, fuck, I haven't talked about that in 10 years. Which was not by design. Like we realized it afterwards. Yeah.

My therapist knows, but not you guys know. Happy accident. The Froot Loops in a bag. Powdered milk. What's up, Daddy? Yikes. Let's do it, Nick.

So this is one of ours. This guy's in the fucking shower doing this? Jesus. And that shower's underground, by the way. Oh, man. That's a tough look, bro. That guy is subterranean at the moment. That has one of those storm things around it.

Holy shit. What's up, fellas? Hope everything's good. I hope you're doing good. What's up, fellas? Hope everything's good. I hope you're good. Is this an ISIS video? I can't get her to sing it for you guys. I just got out of the shower and I was wondering, do you go with that bar soap?

That bullshit body wash. Oh, come on. That bar soap lets you get in and out, rub that thing all over, set it down. Rinse it off, and you're done. Does this guy's face move? This guy's all perks for sure.

If he starts drowning a puppy, I will not be surprised. Bar soap all the way. Anyways, gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Looking forward to hearing from you guys. Hopefully he's alive. Someone check on that guy. Was he in a bunker in Ukraine what is this man

look at the air vent look how small he's like that's like airplane style yeah yeah yeah oh never body wash never really oh wow bar oh bar I'm still bar do I ever spray your stuff bar yeah what's your bar

it's gotta be goat milk something yeah what's your bar it's gotta be goat milk something no i don't know what is your bar it has like the the charcoal no no i hate that shit actually it's annoying your skin and shit i just fucking have regular that's like lava so remember you know what that shit would get it off yeah because kristen is like tattoos off she's like uh you should get into like a routine where you have all the and i'm like dude i i can't with my with my ocd and then also like part of me is like, it's kind of a scam. I can't believe

you don't. I thought you would be all over this. I'm not. Night eye cream. You look like a guy who takes baths. But let me tell you something, though. People think I draw a nice bath. I do a shower. I still do a nice bath. We're too big for baths. We are too big for baths. We are too big for baths.

I don't know why you had to bring that up. You're fat too, right? It's both of us. You know what? We do fit in those, what are they called? Tiger foot, lion's clubs. What are they called? Lion's foot tubs.

Eagle's feet tubs. Like the old ones. Like the one you see in the ring. For like Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, I could slide into one of those. Yeah, I guess I could. Traditional bathtub. Yeah, I'm out. like the old ones oh like the one you see in like the ring for like kings for like Queen Elizabeth yeah I could slide into one of those yeah I guess I could traditional bathtub

yeah I'm out no no no I'm out I'm not as LA as people think I am that's the truth do you have moisture on right now moisturizer not zero

never have I ever done it what's in your hair dry as a bone just product I just put product in but then I wash it like every three days what do you use

like a pomade what are we talking about here I guess it would be pomade I don't even really know and you just. Yep. How much was that haircut? 70 bucks.

What do you tip? I'm surprised that's low. I give her 100. Even 100 out the door. 100 total or 100 on top? 100 total. Yeah. Did she come to the house and do it or you got thrown out of the place?

That's a good deal. I know why I go there because there's a coffee shop next to it. I get the coffee. You know me. I get the coffee. Anytime a place is. I make it. Me too.

It's near a coffee place. I would have guessed the cut was like 200 and they were doing it at the house. Me too. She's a sweetheart. I love her.

And I assume you'd see Gavin Newsom there when you're leaving. No, yeah, but he has a nice hair. What do you pay for a cut? You probably get it like weekly or something.

Yeah, you look like you get it weekly. No, I did. When I would do like fades, I'd go every week, especially if I'm going on the road, but I always wear a hat. So it's like, I'll get the sides, do like fades, I'd go every week, especially if I'm going on the road. But I always wear a hat.

Yeah. So it's like, I'll get the sides. That's about it. You know? But Mexican cuts my hair for $20. Right, right, right. Yeah. And he always makes, whenever I tell him, he's like, yeah, no problem.

And he always makes me look like his son. I'm like, all right. I don't, I get my hair cut once every two, three months, honestly. Yeah. We get the long. I know. Yeah. What did we, you, same, same shit? What? It's Chris. Like once every two, three months, honestly. Yeah. We get the long. I know. Yeah. What are we?

You? Same shit? What? It's Chris? Like once every how long? You haven't had a cut in a minute. I've been growing this for a while. I just started doing like.

You got to get a shape. Nice haircuts. Like going to like a salon. I go to the girl my girlfriend goes to now. Nice. I used to just go to the dudes next door, 15 bucks. That's where I'm at right now. You never know what you're going to get.

It's wild card. Yeah. But I don't watch it. Wesley Snipes. You never watch it? No. But I'm disgusting. He's attractive.

No, I know. I thought you would have like this whole thing. There's no way it's Irish Spring or something like that. No, it's Dove. I think I used Dove. What? Is it nice? Dove's good.

For him, Dove's the Ford of fucking. Yeah. It's been around forever. Fords are all right, man. I thought you would have some, you know, one of her friends makes it or something like that. I literally just use whatever soap is there. Not scented. I don't do scented.

Oh, I like a nice scent. Dude, I like the 3-in-1 body, you know, shampoo, conditioner, body wash. I feel like I'm not really. I don't trust that shit. Yeah, dude. 3-in-1, daddy. You're trying to do too much fall back it's all the same shit fall back fall back i don't fucking do the dishes in

there too whatever you want man it's terrible that's good what's up chris brennan and theo and everyone in the rick glassman production crew uh i'm gonna keep this one short it's logic that's what i couldn't think of his name. Uh, would you rather live forever or die right now? Jesus! What the fuck? Whoa, that's pretty deep. You just live for the rest of the time? That's so terrible. Or you die this instant. Dude, dude. This guy needs a thing. Is he on his way for a school

shooting? Somebody get a ping on this kid. Die right now. Someone alert the government. That's not, that's not an option at all. You would have to live forever. Die right now or live forever. I don't know.

That's probably hell, though. Green Mile, Tom Hanks. He touched the guy. He's like 800 years old or something. He was doing okay, though. That nursing home was pretty nice. But I don't know who was paying for that. Dude, imagine being alive in 3,000 years.

That's got to fucking suck. I would 100% agree. Imagine all your friends and family die. Yeah, you watch everybody die forever. My constant answer is going to be live forever always. What I want. I want to watch everyone die. Everyone.

Friends and not friends. And then I want to make better. Somebody get this guy a cup of decaf. You know how dope your friends would be when you're like 100, 200, 4,000 years old? Dude, imagine the experience you'd drop out of these fucking things. Yeah, but nobody else is 4,000. You're trying to hang out with 100-year-olds. You're like, get the fuck out of here.

It doesn't matter. Dude, think about your stand-up. 3,000 years in? You're like 4,000-year-olds. 3,000 years in? You guys know when you're 3,000 years old? 2,000 years from now, you're like, how about that Reagan? You guys don't remember this, but.

Yeah, let me. It was this guy named George Clooney. Go with me on this. No, everybody says that. All your friends and your loved ones would all be gone. Dude, yeah, that would suck, but you're going to make fucking new friends. You're going to have a new family, and you will be a fucking gazillionaire. Yeah.

And a wizard. You'll be a wizard. I was just going to say, actually,aire. Yeah. And a wizard. You'll be a wizard. I was just going to say, actually, I was just going to say wizard. I think you'd be able to figure stuff out like right when you meet people. You'd be like, I know that I met this kind of guy 150,000 years ago. You'd be a god. No, you'd be Elon Musk. That's what you'd be.

But imagine how Elon Musk would be. But not on the spectrum. But you'd be real like knowledgeable and shit. Imagine if you were Elon Musk, though, and Elon Musk was 4,000. I mean, are you kidding me? In 4,000 years, if Elon Musk was still alive, he would be Jesus Christ. Sure. He would be, I mean.

That's a lot of responsibility. You want that? Yeah. Off me right now. Uh-huh. I can end all of my anxiety now. Imagine having anxiety for the next 4,000 years. Okay.

Put a gun in my mouth. Imagine this. Imagine this. Dying right now. Oh, put a gun in my mouth. Imagine dying right now. Oh, no, no. Lights out, baby. You don't have kids? No. Yeah, that's the thing. They can't die.

Imagine that when you be like, fuck, we got to call the ambulance for this fat fuck. Get him out of here. There's a chance he might die right now. Or at least turn the tape into this. Yeah, out of the four of us, me and him are going. I don't know what the overrun is. I'm also not very healthy.

I definitely wouldn't want to die right now. Fuck that. No, yeah. Imagine you're just starting to pop and you are going. I don't know what the overrun is. I'm also not very healthy. I definitely wouldn't want to die right now. Fuck that. No. Imagine you're just starting to pop and you pass away. That's kind of romantic a little bit to me. The 27 Club? It is. We're past that.

I know, but just like, that'd make one pretty good article. I don't like that stuff. You know what I mean? When I was a kid, my parents would listen to the oldies, and I would hear the stories of Harry Chapin or Jim Carocci or Otis Redding dying before Docks of the Bay came out or whatever it was. That shit used to bug me out. You're getting

ripped off. Fuck that. I'm going wizard. It's like Heath Ledger before Dark Knight came out. He won an Oscar. Heath Ledger was still getting BJs all day long, but yeah. Dude, that's my thing. Think, dude, 4,000 years old? Dude, the stories you'd have with sluts? Are you kidding me? You're going to get a lot of Viagra at 4,000. Excuse me? 4,000 years old? Dude, the storage you'd have with sluts? Are you kidding me? Yeah.

You're going to need a lot of Viagra at 4,000. Excuse me? 40,000. But also, do you keep looking older and older and older and older? You would have to. No, you're Benjamin Button. You look exactly the same. Nah, or do you stop at like 50? No, they freeze you right now.

You live forever, right? Oh, that's cool. If you stop at 50, I mean, that's a no-brainer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're doing all right. Yeah, you got to take that. It's the plot from Interview with the Vampire, right? It's some shit-brainer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done it all right. Yeah. You've got to take that. It's the plot from Interview with the Vampire, right? It's some shit.

Good movie. You're basically a vampire. Yeah. But you don't drink. Not now. That was a deep-ass question. It was. That really rattled me.

I'm going to start a whole new podcast. I'm going to be thinking about that on the plane for sure. That grocery store bagger really got me. I'll do that. It's all right. Put the bread on the bottom. A hell of a question. You're going to have to change the cucumbers. Great question. This doesn't really fit a category, but just a pretty good question. put the bread on the bottom great question

this doesn't really fit a category but just a pretty good question hi guys my name is Brooke and I'm from New Mexico I have a question for you do you have any naughty teachers in school or maybe not naughty but maybe they were into things you didn't think that teachers would be into asking because I'm a teacher and I recently ditched a day of school to see Theo in Albuquerque. Yeah, it was worth going to sketchy Albuquerque

to see Theo live. But my students wanted to know why I was gone for a day. I told them that I had an appointment out of town. They bought it. But it got me wondering how many of my teachers were playing hooky to do stuff like that or weirder things.

So did you have any naughty or weird teachers growing up? I'm a huge fan of all of yours, everything you do individually and this podcast. I love you all. Brendan, Eric, you're hilarious. Chris,

four years ago, I peed my pants watching one of your Netflix specials. Not kidding. Peed my pants on my couch. I felt like I needed to share that with you. Two years ago, I discovered Theo and I've been hopelessly in love ever since. Anyway,

thank you guys for doing what you do. What a sweetheart. Yeah. I wish she was my fucking teacher. My teachers look like fucking warlocks. Yeah, I gotta say, I don't know if it's like a scumbag, but my brain did not go to playing hooky when she was throwing naughty around 16 times.

No. I'm also not missing class if she's my teacher. No shit. My teacher, Mrs. Decker, was fucking 6'4". Yeah, all mine were warlocks. Yeah, they were all warlocks or dudes. We had a substitute that was in Playboy, 7th and 8th grade. She'd roll in every once in a while.

Really? It'd be like Moses showing up. How is that legal? No internet. How is a Playboy model? Yeah, exactly. No internet. She did it in her 20s.

She was also an actress. She was in, I think, a movie with John Travolta called Blowout. Not one of his biggest box office movies. And that's probably it. If she's doing substitute teaching. Yeah, that was probably the hype. Regional theater or whatever. Then she got into teaching.

Dude, I had a teacher named Mrs. Roach. And she had cancer. Sounds hot. Yeah, dude. She had what? Bro, she looked like Clint Eastwood. Dude, she fucking, she had cancer. It's a poor lady.

She had cancer in her nose. Her nose is gone so she looked like the the evil guy from stranger things with the with the the skeleton strange things for her ahead of her time dude it was juice but it was like wet and juicy but her nose is gone i thought you were gonna say she was hot no i know i've never had a hot just such a turn on and she would teach like it was all good like your nose wasn't missing. Does anyone know the question? Eye, nose, no. Ah, that's a tough one.

But then I remember, I was in the class, I was in the class next door. Brandon, do your homework. That's how she looked. Brandon, stop talking back there.

That's Mrs. Roach. Aw, poor lady. She, you know, she was older, she fell, she tripped over like the projection,

projector. Oh, this is a fucking disaster. She fell, and then we just see her being carded out. I've never heard of it. We see her being carded out. Never saw her again. Keep it light,

will you? We got Disney coming in in a half an hour. The question is, do you guys think she's garbage? Missing a nose. Garbage? You have a nose? You got cancer? That's trash. So, alright. It was like wet in her face? Yeah, it was probably moist.

We had a teacher who had a, he was post-stroke. Mr. Talon. One side just hung over. Talon and Roach? What the fuck? These are some wild ass names. Sounds like real sleazy lawyers, Talon. Talon and Roach.

We'll make her pay. Yeah, yeah. All right. Now, have I, I don't think I've ever had a hot teacher in. She was a science teacher. But I never. Everyone always was like, she's so hot. I never thought.

I was like, yeah, she's all right. But I never really had a fucking. Never had a hot teacher. Well, it's like when you see the news where it's like teacher has threesome with seniors in high school. And she's just a fucking dying piece. Like what? Yeah. What high school is this?

These poor kids. The only thing that goes through my mind is how the that anybody ever find out about that when it's a hot girl and and guys well that's easy right because the parents are like why is the kid always on his phone and going into the bathroom we would have took that to the grave i don't think so kennedy i would have i think it gets out you know you want to yeah you would tell people that's true gets out. You tell people. Yeah, you would tell people.

I guess that's true. You're drunk, you're 16, that comes out. Yeah, you're at a house party. What have you been up to? Dude, Mrs. Fields has been sucking my dick. What have you been up to? I've been fucking Mrs. Roach's nose hole. She won't stop calling me.

I've been busting Mrs. Roach's nose hole. Lady, you're married. Knock it off, will you? It was fun while it lasted. stop calling me I've been busting mrs. Roach's no you're married not get off put your face back on terrible it's terrible she's not alive so that's all right she's got people that do guys my name is Mamie I'm from New Mexico home I'm sorry if you can hear birds. I'm sitting outside. Slight flex.

But I have a debate club for you guys today. So if you could choose any decade to be a teenager throughout, what decade would you choose and why? I think about this all the time. Great question. You do? All the time. Yeah, it's wild to think about that all the time. The 60s, baby.

Great question. The fashion. But why if I'm a teenager? You're a teenager. She said if you could! Great question. The fashion. But why a teenager? You're a teenager. She said, if you could be a teenager, because you're like growing up.

No responsibility, I guess. Oh, okay. Like the fun time. You get loose. You have 60s, daddy. The right answer because we live now

would be now because if we knew what we knew now, you'd go back to the fucking 60s. You'd be like, where's the fucking cable? Right.

You know, turn the air on, will you? That's very true, yes. But, if you didn't know any better. If ignorance was bliss.

Yeah. Out of the 70s, seemed pretty cool. A lot of drugs in the 70s. But they were snatching kids left and right. Yeah, and the serial killers

during the 70s. Serial killers. Yeah, not worse than now, though. Not worse than now. Name one serial killer functioning right now.

Yeah, bro, there's a documentary being made about him in 10 years. We don't know him now. They're getting away with it. That's kind of true. We don't know, but we functioning right now. Yeah, bro, there's a documentary being made about him in 10 years. We don't know him now. They're getting away with it. That's kind of true.

We don't know, but we don't know. Dude, you know how the news would run with it if there was another Night Stalker? Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know. But also DNA and all that shit that we had now makes it much harder for them to get in. And there's cameras everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was scarier back then. Way scarier. Get away with it, dude. Thrawn, you want a scary movie? Fucking snuggling with Thrawn, Zodiac. Yikes. Yeah, he's still on the loose, daddy. Well, he's dead probably, but.

Yeah, I'm sure he's dead. Well, we'll see. I don't think he's out there working. We'll see. We'll see. He's 4,000. That's true. Yeah, yeah, you're right, though.

It was scarier in that respect back then, probably. It was also more dangerous back then. Way more dangerous. Even though we have all these mass shootings and stuff. I guess yeah it's also more dangerous back then way more dangerous even though we have all these mass shooting stuff i guess i wouldn't know statistically way more dangerous oh yeah kids getting taken left and right vans were okay back then and nobody knew fucking people hitchhiked into they would be like yeah let me get in your car imagine hitchhiking you know yeah people were dumb as fuck back then dumb as fuck dude you know what's crazy if you go down to pang or down PCH, you'll see hitchhikers. I'm like, dude.

You're nuts to try to do that now. Are you out of your fucking mind? Have you never seen a movie? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Hitchhiker? Also, where am I going to drive you, bitch?

What are we talking about? How far are you going? I'll drop you off there and that's as far as I go. Imagine saying that. I'll drop you off where I'm going, and then you're on your own. Like, what the fuck? That's how Rambo started. You saw how that ended, too.

What'd you say? That's how Rambo started, and you saw how that ended. Oh, yeah. Theo picks up hitchhikers and films them. Goes Instagram live. Jesus. He's up for the content. Really?

In Hawaii. That's probably a little different, I would assume. Yeah, was it somebody that looked like Theo, and were just like hey what's up basically yeah yeah it's okay good vibes jump in brother yeah yeah he's not going down skid row picking up a picture you know that's a different animal hop in you want something some of those streets in la are dicey i got up early this morning because i was jet lagged i went to the 7-eleven it was a block away i almost turned around twice where are you staying well where you are is there like hollywood yeah yeah yeah there's that especially north hollywood that's that guy with a new tent this morning outside like a brand new tent he's right

now what he's got he just his patreon must be just got a podcast yeah we're an only fans who's doing his ad sales that's what i want to know selling some merch huh buddy like to see it man more females than we've ever had thanks to the girls i heard we were on the show you know it's no big deal hello king and the sting and the wing and everybody in between um i am staying up way past my bedtime uh and i'm addressing envelopes to all of my fellow graduates of class of 2002 because we have our 20th class reunion this summer. And I mistakenly ran for class president my senior year. So my question is, can you understand class reunions?

Are you going? Are you not going? Is this a waste of time? Nobody's going to show up. Let me know. You're the class president. And in 20. I thought she was going to jam. You're the class president. Yeah.

And in 20 years, you're like, that's my responsibility. Yeah. Leave office. That's a good person. Hey. Resign. Shame. After 40 years, though, you're out, bitch.

Just change. That's insane. You don't have to do that. No one's going to be like, Linda never fucking sent me a letter. Can you believe Linda didn't get the shit together organized? That's fucking nuts. Also, do you guys go to your reunions? I didn't go to my 5, my 10, or my 15.

I've been a loser through all of them, though. Yeah. Maybe the next one I might catch. 5, 10, didn't do those. So my 20-year came up however long ago it was three four years ago and um i i didn't want to go but i was mostly friends with kids the grade above me slight flex right but but i was though and they though and they all brewery mahoney here oh yeah that's right And they all told me. Is Brewer and Mahoney here?

Oh, yeah, that's right. Let's go to Murph's place. So they all paid. Let's get the old Trans Am out, huh? He show up, hand out a couple of noogies and leave. Push a few kids in lockers. Later, losers. So they all told me that it was amazing.

Theirs was amazing because I didn't go to theirs, right? They're like, you got to go. It was, we all didn't want to go too. You're making a mistake. You got to go. Hold on. You on you went to your five no i didn't go to any of them i'm like what the fuck are you gonna go to them i still keep in touch with two of them but okay i don't care you know where'd you grow up la canada like near uh okay the rose bowl right so so i just didn't go because i don't know i was probably on the road or some shit But um they were like you gotta go and so it's like all right I'll go if you say something I went and it was I was like I should not have come

Yeah, like it was just kind of not fun I I enjoyed seeing some of the people but I also could text them and we hang out with them and see them individually Anyway, I'm big on like if I wanted to see there's probably like four people. Yeah, I circle that I'd be like Oh shit. How you doing? Good to. There's a sadness to it, too. I don't want to fight. Well, of course. There's a real sadness. There was this one kid who was a dime piece.

I mean, he was the king of the school. Yeah, they're not that. They peaked then. Yeah. That was the best he's got. And then I was, last time I was in Denver, I went to the grocery store to pick up, I don't know, whiskey or fucking Pepsi. It was whiskey. Yeah, probably.

Or nicotine. But I was walking around the fucking aisles of King Soopers, and I see this guy in a full fucking sweatsuit. And no nose. No nose. No nose. Before sweatsuit. It was Johnny Roach.

You know my mom's vengeance. Are you the one that fucked my mom's nose? It runs in the family. Try that with me, tough guy. Poor Mrs. Roach. We're sorry. But, dude, I see this guy in a matching sweat outfit, which you probably shouldn't do, and his guts out the hair.

And his hair used to have long, golden locks. His hair's, like, fucking terrible. Yeah, of course it is. And then finally I can see he's following me. I try to go, hey, can I help you with something, man? I thought it was, like, a fan or something. He goes, bro, come on Wow

I'm not going to say his real name Brian Bouser Brian blah blah And I was all Oh, what's up, dude? Holy shit Yeah Been some tough years, daddy

You see their face inside their face You're like, oh yeah It's like when you graduate high school And if you stay a lot of times in your town, there's a certain section of those people who age like dogs. Right. It's like if you're posted up at the fucking pub every three days, you're just – and they all become like – there's like a group of people that stay from each year,

and then they all just become a group of dirtbags at the bar. So there's like a 40-year-old hanging out with a 21-year-old. And the 40-year-old's wearing his Letterman jacket. Yeah, exactly. What are you doing? People have kids. That fucking sucks the life out of people. Sure. It's also the best thing, but also

I guess it could, yeah. It could, yeah. Like, I'm fucking getting up, going to work. The routine of having money and having a kid is a lot easier. Fair point, fellas. Yeah. Fair point.

Yeah. I mean, we tell dick jokes, you know, so it's not the most grueling thing. But it's also weird, like, if you go back to your high school reunion, it's like, you can't relate to them. Like, what have you been doing? They're working nine to five, and you're talking about stand-up. Your patron that makes more money in a month than they make in a year. You know what I'm saying?

It's like, I don't know, man. Yeah, but that's great. Like I said, I would have been a loser at every one. Yeah, I'm still waiting tables. He would have been the guy like, Sharp, it's me. Phone me. Hey, man.

Remember the game against Valley or whatever? Remember when we put those M80s in the toilet? It's like, no. Anyway, can you pay him a rent this month? I hate to do this, dude. I bumped into a dude right after I just moved to New York. He's getting chili and pickles. Dude, remember when you fucked Mrs. Roach's nose?

That was a timely one. I had a dude who was like in... Oh, man, that was great, too. You just missed three fifths. That was a good one. I did it to the Iceman's here. I feel like I'm in high school Just like all right buddy you're broadcasting here

Comedy I'm like there's right, buddy, you're broadcasting here. Even though it's a comedy, I'm like, there's no way that's going to work. That's like getting heckled. They're like, finish the joke. It's over, dude. Dude, I didn't want to do it the second time. Bro, I feel like I'm there daily, just wherever. If you're doing a podcast with family, with friends, you're like, all right, I'm not saying this. He just went, emergency.

Oh, that's hysterical, bro. So there I am in New York. So I thought I was dead, right? That's a veteran, man. He just powered through the story. It's my closer. Keep going. I check pots, son of a bitch.

Should we let him go? No. You should have let me tell the story, then played her. That would have been it. I'm Casey from North Carolina, and I have a King or a Singer for you today. I am currently single and out in the bars looking, and my wing woman happens to be my best friend, my sister, who's 33 and married. Her husband frowns upon her coming out with me and my wing woman,

so I guess King or a Singer, coming out to the bars when you're married. And shout out to you, Eric. I love you. I think that she seems friendly. Yeah, she seems like a fucking sweet. She does. She does. This is the problem. I'll tell you right now. She has an ass on her. But this is the problem.

Right now. But this is the problem, though. Don't go to the bars to look for... That's all. Yeah, that makes sense. That's the thing. Because she's adorable. Yeah.

You're just meeting fucking... You're meeting the fucking guy that ran into you at the fucking... In a Nike jumpsuit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to meet dirtbags at the bar. Where does she go? Like Whole Foods? I don't know.

Fucking Barnes and Noble? Why'd you say it like that? Whole Foods? Whole Foods. Just walk around. There's so many hoes at Whole Foods. Yeah,'t know. Fucking Barnes and Noble? Why'd you say it like that? Whole Foods? Somewhere. Just walk around. There's so many hoes at Whole Foods. Yeah, I know. Go to Target.

Well, no dudes fucking, you know. At Target? Yeah, there's only married dudes at Target. Some weirdo like me looking at the toys or something like that? It's me buying a three-in-one body wash. I thought she said, wasn't that kind of from the aspect of her sister's life? Yeah, married sister. I mean, yeah, man.

I'm with him. It depends how many times this is going on. Yeah. Every Friday? And also, if she's on the bar fucking dancing, I'd be like, all right, listen, you're not out there for your sister, really. Her sister goes the day before. She's like, I'm scouting for you.

Yeah, exactly. I'm laying the groundwork for these doors. She's not even with you? I had to check out the appetizers. You gotta make sure she's okay. Because over a long time, you know, a longer timeline, eventually

something's gonna happen. Something possibly could happen. You know what I mean? Could be two dudes that are perfect, whatever. A couple of drinks are going around. People start making mistakes. They say you spend enough time in a barbershop, you end up getting your hair cut. You know what I mean?

That's going to happen. That's a great one. Did you just make that up? I heard that. Did you just make that up? Yeah, for sure. It was in the story. I was going to tell it.

You fucking idiot. You missed it. No, it's an AA thing, I think. Yeah. So my uncle tells me. I don't know. Where do you go to? Sorry.

To meet people? I mean, yeah. But really, it's online dating is the big thing. I just think, I mean, that's also- Are you going to meet someone of quality there, though? I don't know. I think so. Not in a bar, though, right?

Yeah. How's a bar different than DMs, though? So imagine a dude DMs you his dick. Well, because you can sift through. And figure out what? In a bar, there's fucking six dudes there. And they're just like, hey. I mean, maybe.

What are you? Maybe. Or the guy's the same thing. He's there. He's like, I don't want to be out, man. He runs into her. He's this big ass. Bro, what is this?

A fucking John Cusack movie? That's not what it is. This is a crazy, stupid love. All right. I didn't want to be here either. There are animals out there. I mean, what are you guys watching the purge it's a ball yeah god damn it wasn't a bar in star wars jesus christ it's in a nice place like this guy's uh what's up king and sting fan everyone's morphing into the field these guys faces don't move college baseball

Everyone's morphing into the deal. These guys' faces don't move. College baseball. Watching it? Oh, no, absolutely not. Let me know what y'all think. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. This guy's so bored.

Yeah, that's it. He sends a submission and was like, fuck it. What was the question? King it or sting it, it's the topic. Or like, good or bad. Watching college baseball. No, I respect it. I have a tv outside hooked

up like that's pretty trash yeah it's a tough look get a wall mount will you i glare i want people to be playing for money yeah otherwise i don't care really those guys are trying to play for money right i know but it's like you can't get contracts in a in a you're they're playing in hopes of getting a paycheck. Yes. One day. But most of the good players are drafted from high school. Yeah.

I got you. So these guys, Oh, I see. Unless you're just a super ball. Right, right, right.

Yeah. I play for money. I want to see those guys play for college football, no college basketball. You don't watch any sports. Nope. Really? No sports.

I'll go to baseball games sometimes because, but with, with my family and stuff, because they, you know, people are like, but baseball is boring. I'll go to baseball games sometimes with my family and stuff because people are like, but baseball is boring. I'm like, that's exactly why I want to go because they take breaks and shit. What about the Lakers game? You don't go? No, it's too fast-paced.

You don't watch any sports? Nothing. Too fast-paced. What's your joke if you get caught wearing another man's jersey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so weird. Yeah, they get to fuck you. That's so weird to have a fucking LeBron jersey on.

That's another dude. Yeah, especially as you get older like it's different but you know i don't wear a player i just said the the back's blank ever since that's good the back yeah that's fine that's good it'd be worse if you put your name on it that's a bad look that's that's even worse you pay for the custom embroidery that's depressing yeah that's depressing that's bad yeah things didn't work out for you. The other day, I was waiting for this fucking big boxing match on ESPN. It says, sorry, the boxing match will be aired after this college women's softball game. You're kidding me.

It's like, dude, there's seven viewers. They got the TV rights, though. What are we doing? Wow. You didn't play any sports in high school or anything? I played basketball a little bit, and then I was like, what am I going to do? You did some jujitsu? I did do jujitsu.

He was in a theater class singing and stuff. There you go. Sing for him. Well, I could hit those may-oh-may-oh-mays. Yeah, do that.

May-oh-may-oh-may, you know what I mean? I could kill it, but I don't. He was pretty good. But my mom, every time I even do joking singing,

she's like, you know, and I'm like, ma, she's like, you could have been it? I'm like, I made it. Yeah. But's like, you could have been it. I'm like, I made it!

Yeah. But she's saying you could have been the next Michael Buble. What plays did you do in high school? Oh, man. Do you remember? Yeah, I mean, I did a lot of music. Look over here, he's got a skull in his hand. Name a play.

What do you think? He's got a gay phone. He's all, well, what plays did I do? Don't tell you, Foley. South Pacific, shit like that? I did. No, I didn't do those. I did Little Shop of Horrors. Greece?

Greece, I did. Did you? Did you play Danny? No, I played Kaniki. What? Yeah, I know. Yeah, I played Kaniki. You tried out for Danny, though, didn't you?

I actually don't remember. You did. Foley played the car. I was T't you? I actually don't remember. You did. Foley played the car. I was tongue-in-rode. I don't remember. I think maybe I did Kaniki because I wanted to not. He almost slipped into it right there. Did you see that?

You got real Kaniki. Holy shit. Because I didn't want. It's good. I don't know what I'm switching in and out. I can't tell. It's just so natural. It's weird. you know what I mean? I see colors. Start slating.

I don't want to do like, when you play the lead, you gotta be, it's like so much work. Yeah, you don't want that. Get the play. Get the play. You went in there and you blew the audition. Own it, dude. Your mother was right. Own it, dude.

Yeah. No, I didn't! Own it dude! Your mother was right! Own it dude! No I didn't get a lot of parts though! He's like, I didn't want to play the lead man. I didn't mind being one of the pink ladies, you know, it's cool, it really made me... No, I just fucking... we're talking about like a... it was like Glendale Community College bro, it's not like I was in a fucking Broadway. It's no big deal!

He wanted it, I can tell you what it is. Come on, dude. Just try and tell your story. So there I am. It'd be awesome if you self-produced your own production of Grease. Oh my God.

I forgot. Foley's a really good actor and he did an off-Broadway play like not, I mean, this was, we were like really like still day jobs

and everything and he got this off-Broadway play. First of all, it was the first. It was in Connecticut. It was real. Way off-Broadway. Dude, he shows up. I meet him to do a spot. and everything and he got this all broadway play first of all it was the first connecticut dude he shows up i meet him to do a spot like we're both on the same show at a club and he's i literally after the first day rehearsal i meet him on the street in like april and he's

got a scarf around his neck i'm like dude suck a dick i'm not talking to you while you have a scarf take the scarf off i didn't talk to you because I had to rest my voice. Meanwhile, he's talking about my girl Reds. I've changed. He's got glasses on. It's nighttime. Dude, then I went to this thing. Looks like Johnny Depp.

He just told me. I thought it happened in space the whole time. I thought it was set in space. It was really just set in like 2040, but that's how bad it was. I thought it was on another planet. Fellas, we fucking love you, man. Thanks for having us. This was a blast.

It was fun. You guys were great. Are you garbage? And there's Patreon, free episodes. We do two free episodes a week. They're so fun, man. Thanks. And then touring-wise, where are you guys at?

We are all free after week. They're so fun, man. Thanks. And then touring-wise, where are you guys at? We are all over the place. We're going to be in Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Detroit, Portland, Seattle. What spots do you play? What kind of spots? We just do one-nighters at the clubs. We go in during the week, like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Portland, you got Helium? Helium, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm there this weekend. Yeah, love those Heliums. Yeah, we're all over the place. Check it out. Where can they get tickets? Fucking at the club? No, but like a website. We don't have a website. Oh, wow.

These guys are mysterious. If you send a self-addressed stamp, they'll know. No, we have everything. We have a link tree. You always forget that. We got a link tree. I don't know the fucking HTTP. You everything there you got the merch you got everything everything it's all in our little bios i'm announcing uh i'm gonna be in grand prairie texas i'm gonna be it's

a dallas place so i'm gonna be in dallas and wichita uh kansas and lakeland florida i i um i am now i'm announcing today so chris.com and then atlanta washington dc i'm going to be in uh denver and a bunch of Yeah he got some big Theaters coming up Yeah I do I added another one At the Wang

So that's awesome Wang in Boston Yeah Alright be cool man Yeah well Well I'm not Chris I will be in Portland At the Helium

This week Thursday Friday Saturday Portland Helium Those tickets are Damn near sold out And then San Francisco Cobbs Comic Club Is next week

That's Friday, Saturday only. That's a big place. Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Then just added for the Trash Panda Summer Tour, Fort Wayne, Indiana, July 14th through the 16th. San Diego, California at the Laugh Factory. San Diego, great club. I opened for you there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your boys' headline there. That club's awesome. Yeah, it's in the heart of San Diego. That's July 21st through the 23rd. And then I end the summer tour in Baltimore August 4th through the 6th. Tickets at thickboy.com. But Portland, I will see you this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Love you guys.

Are you garbage boys? Kevin, Foley, we fucking love you. Thank you so much. Keep doing your thing, man. Don't change. We love you guys. We're out. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting It's the wing, and the king, and the sting Hold on, wait a minute, let me think

It's the king, and the sting, and the wing Let's go King, and the sting, and the wing Brought it full circle, I put on the whole team Legendary trio, winning Chris and Theo, what you mean? You know it's the king, and the sting, and the wing