The Golden Hour - Episode 180: The Sing The Wing & The Wedding Rings

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

Chris and Erik return as newly married men and the guys talk Bobby Lee not dressing up for Erik's wedding but dressing up for Chris', Erik's extremely tall dad, Chris' extremely expensive destination wedding, Brendan not being able to hear Chris' vows, wedding speeches, Russian bots, Tom Cruise and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You got this. You're killing it. You're crushing it. Everyone loves you. Be you. Don't even worry about it. He says, anything? So I say, Brickhouse?

I just take it out of my, this is what I say. I don't even know why. I haven't thought of this song, Brickhouse. Brickhouse? I have not. I like that that was in your wedding roll-a-day. I don't even know where it came from. And then the rest of the night, he did not play Brick House.

You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So.

Oh, what you got there, buddy? Oh, damn. I did the same thing. I just got a regular gold one. I'd fuck all that because I'll lose it. I know. Are you used to it yet? I'm not yet.

Yeah. But how tight is that, though? No, it's good. Yeah, me too. That's what it is. But if I put soap, it'll come off. Yeah, probably me too. You know what I mean?

But that's why sometimes I take it off when I'm washing my hands or whatever. It's like that just to get used. But I haven't really – I don't feel – it doesn't feel – I've never worn a ring. I hate rings. I don't like rings. I told my guy, I'm like, this is cool. I physically can't.

I wanted to get like one of those dope man rings that's like – it's thicker. But then I was like, what? I think Rogan has that. That real thick one. Doesn't he wear a rubber one? The rubber one. I thought that's what you were talking about. Oh, no, no. I'm Rogan has that. Yeah, real thick one. Doesn't he wear a rubber one? The rubber one. Oh, I thought that's what you're talking about. Oh, no, no.

I'm talking about they're like, some of them, it's like, they look like three layers. Oh, no. And then it might be diamonds in the middle or some shit like that. That would be very weird. Like a Criss Angel ring? That'd be sick.

Yeah. I like that. Or wear your class ring. Yeah. Like a Super Bowl ring? I wanted to get a tattoo, but she was like, I actually don't remember. I don't remember where we fell on that.

I don't get the argument. It's forever, girl. I don't remember where we fell on that. Just do it. I don't know. It's cool. It looks cool with the watch, though. Yeah, it does match the watch.

It is. I mean, it's just kind of like you kind of feel tethered. I hate rings. Yeah. You're not a, but you're a. I like necklaces. I like bracelets. I just hate rings.

I hate shit on my fingers. It just, it seems annoying. I don't know. I don't know. It's like an old school. I don't know. I feel like it's old school. Well.

Married men. Yeah. You guys are acting different. You're the same. How are you acting different? You're just different. Oh, no, I got it. He's acting more mature.

I really do. I feel like, you know. You guys have the same wedding band, too. I know. That's pretty funny. Do you get a discount or how do you work? A week apart. Well, as the veteran of marriage over Chris.

Yes, yeah, yeah. I call him every week and I say, what do I expect this week? Well, week two, Chris. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This one is a doozy. Yeah, week two, get ready, my man. Oh, is that the picture I took?

Oh, that's a good picture. Yeah, it's a good pic. You know, I really enjoyed your wedding. Me too. Thanks. Because it wasn't long draw now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't too serious.

Yeah. The vows were easy. Also, we got to work on the mic situation, right? The audio? Yeah, it's okay. Because your vows were kind of hurt. I was furious. It's okay. on the mic situation, right? The audio? Because your vows were kind of hurt. I was furious.

I was, I can't describe the rage I had when they were messing up your vows. And then the lady who was like the leader of it, her mic worked, I'm like, give your mic to him, right? That was the whole crowd was saying that. It almost turned into a thing. Give up your mic! Yeah, it's okay though and uh we we got it on

video so yeah yeah it just wasn't it just wasn't uh you're gonna watch it a ton of times um well we might we might watch it not a ton no you watch it once yeah yeah it's nice to have though it's nice to have though but then also the the your your brother's speech was fantastic yeah uh lenochi lenochi's never been funnier it's the best set he's ever had yeah i thought he was gonna But then also, your brother's speech was fantastic. Yeah. Linoche's never been funnier. It's the best set he's ever had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought he was going to bomb. I told him afterwards, I came up.

He doesn't do that on the road now. I said, I was nervous for you. I just wish he was that funny when I brought him on the road. Yeah, I know. It's the best set of his life. That's good. Look at Bobby. Bobby also dressed up for mine and didn't dress up for yours.

How do you feel about that? Well. He probably got heat. Oh, he did. He told me. That's what he said the first time he saw me at the bar. When he walked in, he was like, I said, oh, you dressed up for yours. How do you feel about that? Well. He probably got heat. Oh, he did. He told me. That's what he said the first time he saw me at the bar. When he walked in, he was like, I said, oh, you dressed up for us? And he was like, I got so much heat, I couldn't do it again.

You know what I mean? Oh, Rick Glassman did your? Yeah. Oh, that's dope. He was great. Yeah, Rick's the best. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't been to Santa Barbara in a hot second either.

It's strange, man. There's a bunch of shit going on shit going on dude that area is really great um that area used to be not good did you see that picture oh really your dad probably which one right there that's his dad oh that's sweet yeah yeah oh yeah your dad's so nice man it's a trip to see my dad with um like my buddies it's just such a trip to see like because also he has been there like when i started doing stand-up and he like knew all you guys in the beginning and shit it's just like wild like he took a picture with maximini and i was like god damn it he's known him forever yeah your dad grabbed me when uh i think you were doing the first dance he grabbed me he's like i can't believe we didn't meet before oh i know I know. Yeah. I know.

I know. It's crazy. We have not. It's crazy. I know. It's crazy. Yeah. It was good, man.

And Father's Day, dude, too. I know. And then Juneteenth. And Juneteenth for you. Big day. You're working, which is disrespectful. Yeah. That's disrespectful to your culture.

I didn't even know it was a holiday today. That's how white I am. Well, because it was yesterday, right? Well, I knew it was a holiday because That's how white I am Well because it was yesterday right Well I knew it was a holiday because my kid has summer camp And I was like why Because it drives me nuts when they have random days off And I go it's teacher awareness It's like you're making shit up

And then he was like oh dad I don't have camp tomorrow I'm like why don't you have camp I'm like oh Well you know it's about time Y'all I said All the wrong all that y'all have done maybe he had made me laugh ian edwards made me laugh yesterday dude he was uh he's black if for those of you that don't know but he was like great comic but he oh dude monster yeah great so

good but he fucking was like someone was somebody said it was we were gonna we were gonna surprise you for juneteenth because he was like the only black guy around and he said he said yeah they did too dude that shit killed me he's so funny dude he's so funny dude but you know what made me laugh was your fucking comment back to david arnold on your instagram when you said, you got married before the internet. Dude, that made me laugh, dude. He posted me on his Instagram and he was like, the wedding continues. Everyone's getting married.

And then David Arnold was like, talk to me when you guys get to 19 years. And he said, sorry, you got married before the internet. Fire. I laughed out loud. That's funny. Because he was just talking. He didn't even look at the picture. I know. He just thought I was just posting. He didn't even look at the picture. I know.

He just thought it was you posting about me again. You know what I mean? And I just was like, come on, man. So funny, dude. Well, you, there it is. Yeah, man. Can't you be proud, bro? You know, with Damien Arnold?

But also, how about this? So they get made for the internet. You know what? By the way, just with comments, people think that's some sort of free press. What do you mean? What do you mean? They think it's their part of the free press. Oh, yeah, yeah. So they get to go into your comments and talk about stuff that has nothing to do with.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll tell you what, man. I have just. Oh, yeah. All I've been doing is deleting comments. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, this is our happy day.

I know. It's insane. Like, I don't need your negativity. Oh, for wedding pics? Just, yeah. Just what people were putting out there. Just like, guys, put that on your page. But even the Russian bots, those whores.

I'll post my son in the Russian box. Immediately, dude. Like, who wants to get sucked off today? I'm like, this is a picture of my kids. Hey, Russian bots, have a little respect. I do respect a little bit how they don't. Well, like, father like sons. You know what I mean?

But still, man. I respect how they. Get your big titties out a little respect. I do respect a little bit how they don't. Well, like father, like son. You know what I mean? But still. I respect how they. Get your big titties out of my comments. I know. I respect how they don't discriminate posts. I do respect that. You post one like your dad died or some shit. Have you guys been getting like text messages from like random like.

I've got this. They go like this. They'll go like, hey, Bobby or hey, Dan. Right, right, right. And they got me because once it was like, hey, it's blah, blah, blah. And I have a got me. Cause once it was like, Hey, it's blah, blah, blah.

And I was, and I have a friend with that name. I'm like, Oh, you change your number. Are you still in blah, blah, blah.

And then he was like, uh, no, come on. It's Ryan from San Francisco. I'm like, Oh, Oh,

this is a fake thing. And then once you just give them a little Colonel, bro, 30 random tags. Really? Hey, it's Larry. Oh, that's funny. You know, you're like, bro, 30 random texts. Really? Hey, it's Larry. Oh, that's funny.

You know, you're like, oh, shit. Oh, wow. No, yeah. I never. Once you give them a kernel, it's off to the race. It's always like a fake Asian girl. And she says, you know, this is so-and-so, whatever. And then I go, is this so-and-so? And I go, no, it's not.

First time I ever did. I was like, no. I'm thinking of the wrong number. Once you respond, it's on. And then she go, then they'll go, oh, well, you know, I like meeting new people. And I'm like, oh. That's hilarious. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it just turns into this thing. Yeah. Well, because they're hoping to get money. Because you like meeting new people. And those lonely dudes out there are like, me too. I know. Where are you sitting?

And then you're talking to some hairy dude. Send me your website that I'm not going to look at. Yeah, right, right, right. Here, let me cash up you now to stop. Dude, do you – yeah. How much is it going to cost for you to never talk to me again? Tell your friends that do this too, just stop. Here's $30.

Dude, I know guys that have been got, bro. Like, got. Really? They sent dick pics and then they're like $75,000. That's some hairy Russian dude. And you know guys too, by the way. Oh, yeah. Oh, I actually know one

you know who I'm talking about yeah yeah yeah I know one that guy got like that yeah but then he was like it's Amy from Ireland guys are cool

no it's a Facebook Facebook thing yeah yeah yeah and then they start talking and they make it all sexy and they might send some titty pics

or something they're like send this back and then they screenshot everything and they're like we're gonna send this to your job we're gonna send this to your boom boom boom that's awesome and they're like, we're going to send this to your job. We're going to send this to your boom, boom, boom.

That's awesome. My buddy was like, oh, I'm a comedian. First of all, I can't get fired. Second of all, I don't have $5,000. I don't give a fuck. Go ahead. And third of all, go ahead and blast this big dick out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you're not sending a bad dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. You're going to help me out. Go ahead. This thing's huge. Yeah. Yeah.

Enjoy the free press. You should have paid for this. Brendan does a photo shoot. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. With yeah, I pay for this ready does a photo shoot With that fucking rain drink Mike's taking it the lights all perfect. Yeah, we got away gets up and moves the camera I thought was dope at your wedding.

It was the picture thing where people would take the pictures. Oh, yeah. That was cool. And then I came solo like a loser. Yeah, yeah. But I had nobody to take a picture with. So Eric's like, I'll do it with you, man. So we were going to take one, but we're going to pretend that we were holding Brian and Theo because I went there.

And Photoshopped them in. And then Photoshopped them in, yeah. But the lady taking pictures was like, cut that out. You two get together. Like, oh, no doubt. It was fun. Yeah, it was fun. You had the cotton candy. Yeah, yeah. The band was great. like, cut that out. You two get together. It was fun. You had the cotton candy.

The band was great. I posted that picture of you and me, the picture of me and Chris. My mom goes, Eric's sexy. I was like, all right, man. You know what? Your mom trying to smash you. I think so, man. Eric, my mom's trying to fuck, man. Two weeks too late.

I know. You're two weeks too late. Yeah, my mom. That's what I told her. And that's the first time I met your fiance. Yeah. Your kids are going to be... I'm sorry, your wife.

Your kids are going to be big. Like, tall. I hope so. Her dad's 6'10". Dude, her dad at the wedding, he hugged her dad. Dick in your face. Dude, he was like... Yeah, man.

Her dad's huge. It was really... Because he's always one of the tallest dudes. Did her dad come and talk to you? Because he watches podcasts. Oh, really? So he was like walking around. He was like, oh, take your shoes off.

Oh, that's funny. That's funny. And he was like, oh, yeah. He knows all the stuff. Did he do anything with it? Yeah, he played basketball for a little while. Oh, thank God. At what level, though?

He was like semi-pro. He was trying to be. All right. All right. That's good. That's good, that's good, bro. I had one of your friends- White. I'm not throwing any shade.

I had one of your friends come over. Literally, I was so hungry. The food came, the food was delicious. So I'm scarf- I was so hungry. I'm scarfing it down, trying to stay on my diet, scarfing it down.

And there's- Whoever was around me, I think it was Craig and then Marshall, they got up to get drinks, so there's two empty seats. Yeah. And your buddy sat down. He knew me from back in the day.

I guess he's a high school wrestling coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. He's one of my best friends. He's great. But he's a wrestling coach. He sits down and goes, I've been dying to ask you, man. I coach high school wrestling.

We have some kids that want to get involved in MMA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, where do you even start? I went like this. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, where do you even start? Oh, yeah. I went like this. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you even start? I was like, you know, there's a lot of hard work.

I'm just starving, back to my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, but dude, I'm talking a 30-minute deep dive on MMA. But that's how people, I mean, people do that about like, I hate that. Just say you hate it. I totally get it. It's like somebody asking me like, you know, hey, so how do you start in comedy? Hey, hey, fuck off. If start in comedy? Hey, hey fuck off If it wasn't Chris's friend, I probably wouldn't

I know, I know You know what I mean? I don't even know He was a nice guy though Hey, go fuck yourself man, like you can't skip steps Yeah, well the worst is when they go, I mean comedy. How do you mean you start in comedy? I'm like, oh we're gonna start with the origin story? Yeah, I don't know

Like dude, I'm trying to You know what you do in those situations? You just go, hey man, that's a deep conversation Yeah And it's not for right now, thanks, you know what I mean? And some people get it They're just so excited I don't know. Dude, I'm trying to. You know what you do in those situations? You just go, hey, man, that's a deep conversation, and it's not for right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And some people get it. They're just so excited. I don't have that courage. I went like this.

Is that cotton candy? And then beeline for the cotton candy. Oh, you think that's better? I apologize if he's watching this now. I was like, is that cotton candy? I was like, we'll talk later and fucking beeline for it. Hey, Chris, let's take a little break from chatting with our man, Eric Griffin, dude. I'm proud of you guys getting married.

You got to stay hydrated, though. We're on the road, dude, and you got to be hydrated. You're flying on planes. You get all dry. Listen, I'm going to get dry, I tell you, right now in Fort Wayne, Indiana, July 14th to the 16th, and right after that, I'm in San Diego at the Laugh Factory of San Diego, the heart of San Diego, daddy. Tickets

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Nobody knows what's inside. Right. Shop stress-free and find your forever peace. Go to bluenow.com today. We got a couple wedding gifts for you two. Very small. Oh, nice. No, I want big ones.

Well, yours hasn't arrived, but we got another light for you two. Very small. Oh, nice. No, I want big ones. Well, yours hasn't arrived, but we've got another light for you. Another what? By the way. Another light. Oh, you're asking for the light. Yeah, it'll be here next week. Word up for there. Oh, great.

Oh, nice. No, but I was going to say, before we even go there, by the way, because Chris had an expensive destination wedding. Yeah, yeah. Okay, it was, you know. Well, it was a drive, but he counts it as a destination. I didn't mind the drive. How about the $800 a night hotel I had to stay in?

I know. So you're not getting a gift. I told her. I was like, man, what about... She's like, there's another hotel. There was another hotel. They were all expensive, bro. They were all expensive. It was in Santa Barbara. There's no red roof in Santa Barbara. There was no $120 a night.

Every place was expensive. How about Santa Barbara. There's no red roof in Santa Barbara. There was no 120 to 90. Yeah, there's no holiday in. Every place was expensive. Ugh. How about, yeah, I missed Eric's wedding. I was on the road. I was like, sorry, man. I was like, what can I do? He's like, I was like, let me get you a gift.

What do you want? And he goes, I want a PS5. Wow. Just be honest. So I was like, yeah, no doubt. All right, I'll get it. I'll bring it to the studio. So I don't know video games. I don't play, you know, I got kids.

I don't play fucking video games. And so I hit up my brother. I'm like, yo, where can I? Because he knows all that shit. I'm like, where can I get a PS5? He's like, are you retarded? You know how hard these things are? I know.

But I thought he might have had a connection. You know, he'd get a Ferrari. You got a Ferrari connection. Dig deep. There's probably one in your Ferrari. You don't even know about it. Dude, dig deep. You'll get a connection.

Yeah, you've got a connection. I didn't know it was Mission Impossible. I actually didn't either. I have one. A PS5, right? Of course you do. If any of our listeners have one... I'll buy it from you. 2K.

I'm helping you out. No, you're helping you out. You shouldn't have done it like that. You could have been like, that's $500. He was like, it's $2,000, Brendan. That's the move. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the move. See, bro?

Last thing about your wedding. That's how he got where he is, dude. He's crafty. He's a businessman. He's savvy. Last thing about your wedding. I did tear up when Calvin was in the little tuxedo. That got me.

Yeah. And then your horrible audio on your vowel sobered me right up. No, my vowels were good. I couldn't hear it, dude. You probably have hearing problems. People heard it. No, you couldn't hear it. Yeah, because you can barely, your ears are, you know what I mean?

I heard it. It was great. Yeah, thank you. It was great. I heard a few things about an elevator. That's it. Yep. Oh, my God.

No, he heard it. No, all I heard was. No, but I'm just saying, like like it's like to simplify it like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I – Chris told a very beautiful story. It was a great story form vows about an elevator and how his life is like an elevator and – See, I missed all that.

And like the different stops. Yeah. It was beautiful. It was like well thought out. Eric, I was all the way in the back. And you handled your emotions better than I did because I was a blubbering mess. I was shocked I did. Me too.

I was shocked I did. But the way, it was because the story was so, it was like you had to tell this story in a certain way. So it was great. You didn't go for cheese right now. Where were you sitting, Eric? Where were you sitting? Oh, I was sitting like on the right side. How many rows up?

I was closer. Yes. They said like the back few rows. It was tough. Yeah. I heard it in spots. That's why I was like, all right, he missed his elevator? I was closer. Yes. They said like the back few rows. It was tough. Yeah. I heard it in spots. That's why I was like, all right, he missed his elevator. I killed it.

But I'm going to send you the audio. I'll send you the audio. Please do. Send it. Send it. You know what would be great? It's like when we do get it, the video, we have to get the video and then play him saying that.

I was furious. Yeah. But anyways, anyways by the way i know we were going on and on but again it was beautiful i had two weeks and for me i've had two weeks of love it was great you know i i was in i i didn't even tear up when i wanted to during your vows but it was like towards the i think we teared up at the same time you know because it was like because i had the visual in my head of like what you were like and then the elevator opened and it was her yeah yeah yeah and i was like i know it was beautiful i turned up when calvin walked down i turned when your dad started giving a speech yeah yeah and her mom gave her uh yeah she was great she was a newscast she was a newscast i was gonna say her mom yeah she killed it it was long yeah it was long it was long

yeah when the bride had four endings it was like lord of the rings you know and she did subtle flexes we were like oh she's not she's going some more the mom did subtle flexes which i enjoyed she was like uh world champion cheerleader and i was like oh small flags yeah and she's like and then she moved to venice like small flags and i was like i dig this, so like small flags? And I was like, oh, I dig this. Psychology degree and all this? Yep, small flags. No, not cheerleader, gymnast. Gymnast. And then the bridesmaids got up, and they were talking about a vortex.

And I looked at Enrique, and this is when I had Ian cracking up. And I go, because Enrique runs the laugh factory, I go, give him the light. Give him the light. No, that was beautiful, dude. It was beautiful. Go ahead. I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I just want to say one thing. One thing that it's like when you know someone,

when you're like friends with someone, you know their things, and if someone tells a story about them, when you know them well, you're there in the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. When she told the story of like you guys watching a Hallmark movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like I was like I so had joy for myself.

Because I was like, of course Chris doesn't like Hallmark movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I felt myself like I was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And I thought that was great. Yeah, it was great. You can tell she's comfortable in front of the audience.

Like she was a beast on there. She handled – actually, the mom handled the whole thing great. Super beast. Just even how she addressed everything. It just was like I really felt a lot of love. I felt that her family really appreciates you and accepts you. It was beautiful, guys. I'm telling you right now, you missed a good one.

We had to follow fucking yours, dude. Yours was amazing. Oh, what's this? This is Eric's gift. Oh, shit. Nice. Why am I a bear, though? Oh, that's a good one. Come on, bro. Oh, dude, look at that. Nice. Why am I a bear, though? Oh, that's a good one.

Come on, bro. Oh, dude, look at that. You know why you're a bear. You know, come on. In the gay community, you're a bear, bro. Hashtag gay pride. Look at this. I felt like you're very blue from Jungle Book-esque.

Oh, I like that. That's why we picked a bear. That's awesome. I love the glasses. That's hilarious. Yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah, love it. Thank you. I keep getting a lot of's hilarious. Yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah, love it. Thank you.

And then the – I keep getting a lot of comments about, like, they keep saying, like, why don't they just add the sing already? Blah, blah, blah. It takes a lot of work. And then also the glasses, there's an E in there, which is very cool. It's like you're Aaron. Yeah.

Or it's an Asian bear. I notice the small things. Might be an Asian bear. That's awesome. That thing is sweet, though. We just got to add that to the intro now. Might be an Asian bear. That's awesome. That thing is sweet, though. We just got to add that to the intro now. Yeah. All right.

And Theo's dealing with personal family issues, so he's out for a little bit, but he'll be back. Yeah, he had a son. No. Yeah, no, he's dealing with stuff. His Native American son was finally born. Yeah, right, right, right, right, right. And here he is.

Is this The Weeknd? What's up, the king, the king the sting the wing and the sing i got a little debate club i got a couple weddings coming up and i have a few females that are saying oh let me be your plus one let me be your plus one and i'm thinking i might just go with no plus one because i don't want these you know to look at these wedding photos later on and be like oh who's ed with some random chick yep i'd rather just fly solo so what do you think flying solo to the wedding or just bringing some random chick solo daddy first of all bridesmaids single bridesmaids you're having fun city to city but also i feel this dude there he's got a bunch of weddings coming up dude everybody's getting married now because they couldn't for fucking covid yeah it's insane i mean that's why ours

are back to back and then the fucking we have so many yeah do you yeah we have more this summer like yeah it's crazy it's crazy i will say say about this. At my wedding, four friends of mine came up to me and were like, dude, you got me thinking about my ex. Like four of them did that. They just brought that up. It was like love's in the air at a wedding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So my advice to this guy is go solo. Yeah.

No, dude, I'm telling you, go solo. You might fall in love like eric's talking about he's older or you're just slaying dick from wedding to wedding i know but the bridesmaids there's nothing makes it more horny yeah i know but also dude don't you feel like though when you're at a wedding it's definitely fun if you're single and there are other single people but like there's this kind of like i don't want to say sadness but if you're there alone and like there's love in the air it depends what age you are i guess say sadness, but if you're there alone and there's love in the air. It depends what age you are. I guess so.

It depends where you're at. Yeah, you're right. It depends where you're at. First of all, it also depends on the wedding too. I didn't have the Richie Rich wedding. You know what I'm saying? So it was like- Where was yours at?

I'm saying we made sure to invite people to Rachel. It was clear. If it's not a significant other, I don't want them. They have to come alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a significant other, I don't want them. They have to come alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like not everybody gets a plus one at a wedding. I think that that's good, though. I think that like what she said, Rachel, I think that that's how it should be.

Yeah. If you don't come with, I don't think, well, we didn't do that. But if you have a significant other, then they come. If you don't, then they don't come. Don't bring a random food. Because even what you're saying about the pictures, what he's saying about the pictures too, my girl was saying, she said the same thing. She was just like, I don't want my pictures. So we're like, well, who's that girl or who's that guy?

I think that's good. You know what I mean? So it's like I feel like it's – I think it is something about – you know what? Love is in the air, and you can meet people. Like Ian Edwards at my wedding, he was doing good. He told me later, like, yeah, man, went out on a – I'm putting Ian on blast. Haven't you ever seen wedding crashes? Excuse me.

Somebody's at home like, what? I know. But he went out. At my wedding, it's weird too because Rachel has a lot of model friends, so it looked like WNBA players. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were so tall, bro. I can't believe how tall your girl was.

I was like, gosh. No, but they're all that tall. Yeah, her friends were like, they're so tall. There's five of them, and. They were so tall, bro. I can't believe how tall your girl was. I was like, gosh. No, but they were all that tall. Yeah, her friends were like, they're so tall. There's five of them. And they were all in different colored dresses. It was hilarious. 5'11", 6 foot. They're all like that.

And then it was them and all these weird comics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All these short, weird fucking trolls. Yeah, solo's the way to go. Also, to that point, them hoes don't deserve to be at your friend's wedding. Like, if it's a close friend, you can't bring some random girl to eat your food. Me and all the personal close family and friends, like, you don't deserve that. I don't know, man.

Yeah, maybe go solo. But not for the slang and dick fucking idea because you don't want to be. I mean, look, if it happens and you get laid, that's awesome. And that's fun. But like, dude, you don't want to go with like different chicks and shit. And like, it doesn't mean anything. Also, you look like kind of a dick. You're like, yeah, pay for this one now. I know.

You know what I mean? Yeah. This one wants the salmon. Yeah. It's $100 a plate. Yeah, I know. Wait, what? Who are you bringing?

I know. I know. Yeah, your food was tasty. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. Just the whole setting food was tasty. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. Just the whole setting. The taste test was the shit, dude.

They brought it all out. The stuff that didn't make the cut, even that was good. And you guys even get to taste that. Oh, you know what? I didn't eat the fucking, I left before the cake was cut. Oh, you're stupid because after that, there were churros out there. No, I saw the churros. And chicken sandwiches.

Oh, you don't know daddy has cavities. Yeah, I can't eat that shit. That don't bother me. And tater tots. There were tater tots. Oh, I didn't even get those. Oh, you don't know daddy has cavities. Yeah, I can't eat that shit. That don't bother me. And tater tots. There were tater tots. Oh, I didn't even get those. Dude, I drank two cold brew coffees. That was good, huh?

The coffee was good. Yeah, I might have a baby because of Chris's wedding. That would be awesome. Oh, that'd be sick. Name him Chris. We put it in. Oh, God. Why is it so extra gross when he does it?

We left that wedding. I walked across the street like, come on, girl. You know what time it is? You know what time it is? Everyone is missing. Nasty time. We had to combine all the names. It would be like, you know, Chris, Christine, Alvin.

We're going to have one of those. Just your kiss was pretty sexy. The first kiss. Was it a lot? Rachel made us practice. You guys decided whether to do passionate. She told me we had to practice. That's cute.

She'd be like, we're going to do it like this. We're going to have one kiss, and then we're going to do another kiss. But she came at me. But here's the problem about going to weddings. Because my girl went to Schultz's with me. She didn't go to yours because we couldn't find the baby. So I went solo like a loser. But Eric was kind of my date.

But the problem is, because me and her just got married at the courthouse. We didn't go to the wedding. I was like, let's invest in the house. What are we doing? Yes. But then she went to Schultz's. I know where this is going, yeah. And then she's like, oh, this is so nice. I've always wanted this little girl. Oh, you're going to have to have a wedding. I was like, let's invest in the house. What are we doing? Yes. But then true. I know where this is going. Yeah. And then, you know, she's like, oh, this is so nice.

Like, I was like, oh, shit. And then she was like, how's Chris? I was like, it's all right. Yeah. Good. She'll see the video and she'll be like, you fucking liar. I was like, it's kind of boring. Dude, have a party.

Surprise her with it. Yeah, you could. I don't think she wouldn't want to be surprised. She's like, you know what I mean? She's mad. Surprise her with the idea. Surprise her with the idea. Are you? Oh, well, you can have like a, you could. She wouldn't want to be surprised. You know what I mean. She's mad. She surprised me with the idea. She's mad. Surprised me with the idea.

Are you? Oh, well, you can have like a, you know what? You can have a quinceanera at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was there a? Or I could just set 60 grand on fire, you know? Yeah, I know. I know.

It's one of those. You do that anyway with your dumb shoes. The vitriol. Yeah, yeah. How dare you? That's fair. This guy, man. Make sure she doesn't see this podcast. Make sure she doesn't know

how much these shoes are that I'm wearing. He got gold shoelaces in one and you don't want to spend on the wedding? You are a piece of shit! You're right. How did both of our fucking mics break? It's just this thing pops off.

What's up with... A new light's coming. Yeah, yeah. What's up with... Wait, so was Schultz's wedding extravagant? No. He did it at his girl's parents' house. They have a house in Santa Barbara.

There's food trucks for the food. Good drinks. Like, it was super short, fun. Like, if you have comics as friends, they're the best ones to give the speeches. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're fire. They can read the room. Of course.

They know if they're bombing, they get out. Speaking of, so Chris had a great pre-party, right? And then that was when they made it very clear, this is when you're supposed to give speeches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're not going to be able to give a speech. Right, right, right. And then his one friend goes up, Dan. Yeah, yeah.

And just nobody wanted to go up after him. No, it was honestly, as a comedian, so I went up and I gave a, whatever. When was this? It was the night before. The night before. Damn it. You were invited, bro. Yeah.

Kids. And so. I was doing sets. So it was a wine, what even was it? Like a winery. Like, and I was, they were like, you should say something. I was like, I'll say something. And I was like, oh, this is like, you go back to like open mics.

Like, oh, I've done fucking rooms like this. You know what I mean? And I'm like, this is just a terrible room for anything comedy. So I'll just do a regular speech. If I get laughs, okay. I did it. I got a few chuckles. I. If I get laughs, okay. I did it. I got a few chuckles. I made fun of my dad, whatever.

And then I got off and I was like, if anyone wants to do a speech, Dan comes up, doesn't know that this room is just a, it's a fucking death trap, like for comedy. And he went up with a few jokes and it was a death trap. So he was just like. And that was it for everybody else. Everyone's like.

Oh, I thought he crushed it. No, it was terrible. So everyone's like, oh, I'm good. So everyone's like, I'm good. But you can't crush it. Yeah. I mean, unless you're. That's not for success.

Even at my wedding, like, I was surprised at the people that went up. And I was surprised at the people that didn't go up. You know? But at the same time, I look and I go, I get it. You know what I mean? It was like, did you ever have a thought process that you wanted to go up? The whole time at your wedding, I was like, I want to say, I don't know. But it would have been fine.

I know, I know. But at the same time, I get why you did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I thought the same thing, too. Because, you know, for me, I was thinking to myself, do I want to go up and talk? And the thing is, like, you know. It's not about you. No, exactly.

That was what I came to. I was like. Exactly. That's why I was out on yours. Like, when I saw the note you do well, I'm like, I have some fire shit in my pocket right now. Yeah, I know. I'm like, but this isn't. Yeah, but.

You imagine I just get up there. Hey, Chris. But even at the winery. Even at the wine thing, it's like I thought to myself, I'm going to go up here and I'm going to crush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, this ain't about me. Yeah. And my instinct would be to like be super funny.

Yeah, it's not about you. And I was like, you know what? This ain't my time. That's what I said. I was sitting there. I'm like, oh, this isn sending them out, you dumbass. I had some heartfelt, like, my stuff was even gonna be funny. Me too. I would have been

crying. I would start crying. Dude, I had to give a speech at my brother's wedding. I mean, nobody heard anything. I was like anchorman in the fucking phone booth. Like, no one heard anything. I just couldn't get anything out. I was just crying nonstop. But Kristen's family was already like, Chris is the funniest guy we've ever met, and I't want to crush that you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah

i was like i didn't want them realizing oh there's other really funny people in the world i almost stood up i almost stood up and said fucking take that comedian table oh you had so you you i yeah it was even during her vows you chimed in at the perfect time but anyway i what i'm saying though is i i get as a comedian in a crowd and having a wedding and having comedians in a crowd, I get why a lot of them didn't. It is interesting, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. My table was so fun, though. The comments, oh, it was so fun. Oh, yeah, it's fun. I was with Marshall, Craig. Yeah, those guys are great. Rick Glassman. Like, dude, I was laughing so hard.

And the one guy I don't know. Marques was at our table, unfortunately. Oh, those guys are great. Rick Glassman. Dude, I was laughing so hard. And the one guy I don't know. Marques was at our table, unfortunately. Oh, sorry. The one guy I don't know, I guess he started comedy. He was the pink suit. He looked like a cocaine drug dealer from Miami. Oh, Andy? And he started dancing.

When he started dancing, I was like, well, this guy's fantastic. That guy, Andy Kozel, is, first of all, always dresses like Hunter S. Thompson. That guy is one of the most fun guys to be around. Yeah. Like just, he, at a diner, you're, I mean, he's so funny, dude. And he still does stand-up. I know, I know. I always tell him.

And he still does stand-up right now? He does stand-up, yeah. I'm saying because I'm not, there's no shit. I just don't see him around. No, no, he doesn't hustle, you know, but he is fucking funny. Oh, him dancing, I was laughing my ass off. Oh, dude, he's funny. How about the band? Oh, my God.

Where'd you find them? They were such a good band. Multi-ethnic, too. That band, bro. Dude, first of all, I hired him because I saw the lead singer. The black guy or the white guy? No, the white dude.

The leader. He was the leader. That guy or the white dude, the older leader, he was a leader. I just saw a picture of a man. I was like, that guy is a wedding singer. We hire that guy. Okay. It was a great band. That guy comes up to me before the fucking wedding.

I got to tell this on my podcast too, but that guy comes up to me before the wedding and he is like, Hey man, I'm Rick. I just want to, or rich, whatever it was. I want to let you know. I'm so happy to be here. Um, uh, we're, we're so happy. Is there, what kind of style do you want us to do? And I was like, Oh bro, I saw your video. Do your thing. You guys are amazing. Do whatever you want. He was like, is there anything I could sing? Like we do kind of a classic rock kind of thing. And I was like, it's perfect. Do that. Do whatever you got. Just play the hits you got. And I was like, it's perfect. Do that. Do whatever you got. Just play the hits you got.

And he was like, all right, let me know. And I said, I will, but don't worry about it. He does. He starts doing it. They're crushing. You saw, right? I was like, this band is ridiculous. I mean, they're amazing.

Every song is like this song that you hear on the fucking thing. Do you remember? That was 100%, right? And so, in the back, I was like, holy shit. Unbelievable. They're doing Shout. I hate that wedding song. I'm like, okay.

I hate that song. But they're good, though, right? Yeah, I hated that part. They take a break. They come back. They come out. The guy says, hey, man, just want to say if there's anything. He's looking for a recommendation.

If I'm missing anything. You should have been like Drake, Mitch. Do the new Drake. This guy's looking for recommendations. But I I'm missing anything, I'm like, this guy's looking for recommendations. But I'm so happy with what he's doing. So I say to him, I'm like, listen, dude, there he is. I was like, listen, buddy, you're killing it. Just keep doing what you're doing. I love it.

And he said, all right, well, just let me know at any time. I say, I will. Goes, does another set, then comes back. I'm sitting down. He comes up to me again. And he says, hey, man, if there's anything you want me to sing. This is the third time, right? This is the third time.

It's because he's all out of songs. No, that's not what it is. It's because he's been to other weddings. And he's probably been, like, later they said, hey, how come you didn't do? Whatever it is, right? So I say, listen, man, you got this. You're killing it. Everyone loves you.

Be you. Don't even worry about it. He says anything. So I say brick house. I just take it out of my, this is what I say. I don't even know why I haven't thought of this song. Brick house.

I have not. I like that. That was in your wedding. I don't even know where it came from. Brick house. I haven't thought of this song. Brickhouse? I have not. I like that that was in your wedding. I don't even know where it came from. Brickhouse? I haven't thought about Brickhouse. No, you did the math. You were like, okay, I'm at a wedding.

It's a wedding. This is a wedding song. And I was like, I haven't heard that one yet. And he's like, I don't play that. So I say, Brickhouse. And he goes, this is what he does, dude. This is exactly what he does. But this is what he does.

He goes like this. He goes like this and he goes oh man I love you man I love you I see he says dude yes thank you so much for letting me be here. And I said, of course, man. And he walks away. And as he's walking away, he says, it feels so good. Okay. And then the rest of the night, he didn't play Brick House.

He did not play Brickhouse. To the point where you almost want to go, hey, bro. After seven attempts. I still haven't heard it. I still haven't heard Brickhouse. Like, what happened to Brickhouse? Dude, it was fucking hilarious. On the comment card, you put, everything is great.

It says, was looking for Brickhouse. That made me have the fucking conversation, you put, everything is great. It's just, was looking for breakouts. You made me have the fucking conversation three times. It was a waste. This guy's great. Oh, you know what's great

about a wedding too? Because you know someone, you know someone like this. Like, I've known Chris for years now, but I've never seen Chris dance. Oh, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Yeah. I go, I go, I go. So Chris was out there just like,

he was like, oh shit. All your coolness, gone. I know. I feel like I ruined the moment. I go So Kuz was out there Just like He was like Oh shit Yeah All your coolness Gone I know I feel like I ruined the moment I go You gonna dance and shit And you're all

Yeah it's my wedding I was like Yeah it makes sense Yeah you gotta dance I saw a lot of weirdos Out there like you know Rick Glassman can dance Bobby Lee can dance

Yeah Your boy The cocaine dealer From Miami can dance Andy Yeah like People were dancing Yeah I know It was fun Alright what we got Alright what else Yeah Your boy, the cocaine dealer from Miami can dance. Andy. Yeah, like people are dancing. God, yeah.

I know. It was fun. All right, what we got? All right, what else? Yeah. Theo, Eric, Chris, and of course, the gringo, Poppy himself. First off, congratulations, Chris and Eric. Y'all made a horrible mistake based on my dad's previous three marriages.

Today I have a King it or Sting it for you. Bringing your hydro flask to the open bar to get filled up before the flight home. I don't like paying $7 a little shot on the airplane, but I can bring 32 ounces of single malt scotch for free. So King it or Sting it. Whatever I just said. This guy is great. Whatever I just said.

Dude, wow, this guy's energy. I love it. So, he's saying flask on a plane? Yeah, basically taking wedding food and drink to go. Being a drunk mess on a plane is what he's saying. Yeah, being a piece of shit. Being that guy on the plane that's all like, you know, hey. It's always weird.

Like there's this dad who I'm super close with. My son Jitsu, I go today. And he's like loud. He's the only dad I talk to. He's so loud this last time. I'm like, what the fuck? My son always eats his pizza if he does good. I go, hey, we're going to get pizza. You want to bring your son? He's like, yeah, I'll go. And he's so loud this last time i'm like what the fuck let me go get uh my son always eats his pizza if he does good i go hey we're gonna get pizza you want to bring your son he's like yeah

i'll go and he's so loud i'm like bro you're loud as shit he has a water bottle like this i'm like what the fact the fact that people think like it's a flex or like you're gonna be like yeah man well i just went why wouldn't you share it what's wrong you think i was probably shamed yeah like what are we doing here do you get to have this fun time and that's why you're loud as shit i always have a thing with these kind of people though like they don't like maybe well yeah you fucking if i sees your podcast and he's like well yeah of course he wants some but like you could have told me but like dude there are people that like don't like they they put themselves on to you and they're not receiving you the way you know you're portraying yourself like meaning i was at the coffee bean and tea leaf you know how i do it

there i fucking used to run this block over the cold water right anymore though no they don't even have it anymore to the point where it was in your wife's vows. It was. That got me good. I laughed hard. I laughed hard. We all did. Everybody didn't know she crushed it. I was pissed that that got the biggest laugh.

She had lines. She killed it. Yeah, yeah, she did. And I used to see this guy all the time. We used to talk bullshit. You know me. You know me, right? This guy knew me.

We used to talk all the time. He used to go coffee, beep, beep. And then one day he says, dude, I got a great book for you to read and he it's like this book on buddhism and i'm like bro you know i'm not gonna read that because you know me right this whole fuck it was like the wedding singer it's like why do we have that conversation three fucking times yeah people do that but it's like yeah so people are pushing themselves and you're like you're not receiving me bro no but i can't see what the thing is like when you're in a moment like what he's talking about you're with somebody and like they're acting weird right yeah yeah and then and then like you get a whiff of their breath

that always just turns me off so much if it's alcohol and yeah because then i'm like oh so one you're either like you're drunk and not present yeah well yeah you know you're like you're not present and you're not aware of like and so then it's like you're drunk and not present. Yeah, well, yeah. You know, you're not present and you're not aware of like – and so then it's like you're having your own experience and you're bringing me into it and I don't want to be in this. That's where I was at. I don't want to be a part of this. I was like, why are you shouting?

Yeah, yeah. You've never shouted. What are you doing? The loudness. And I was like, oh, you're drunk. Yeah. It's a lot, man. It seemed like my buddy the other day came to the store,

ours at the improv, and I could tell like he was just acting weird. Acting weird. And I go, acting weird acting weird are you on drugs is true what yeah bro it's it's a wednesday at eight o'clock yeah yeah yeah this from the guy what time is it it's fine i know it's 12 on a monday yeah well yeah scotch on the table scotch on the table but shroom well it's starting to think but shrooms oh that's your lorry what's like what i won't say who it is but one of the comics was like hey man you want some opens up this it looked like mints at my wedding opens up it's all shrooms i go no what no tomorrow's father's day and uh you know where those you don't mess with that stuff i go not when i get a drive home

be up at six for father's day i'm gonna be pressing king and the sting in the wing um congratulations chris and eric on your weddings um you make a beautiful couple uh debate club would you ever wear a kilt to your wedding hell yeah who would have the best kilt pattern as individual to your family name. So let me know what you think. Thank you, William Wallace. That accent is awesome. Oh, I love it. I really, I wanted to go to battle. I'll run through a wall for this fucking dude.

I would have an off-white kilt. I'd stunt on all your bitches. Off-white with a hole cut in the dick part. No, the asshole. Just the asshole. It has a hole in it. You have to lift it up. I love kilts. I'd be singing, handsome dick in a box. Kilts make sense, though.

Yeah, I think that they're nice because you sweat and shit in pants, you probably sweat less in a skirt. Yeah, it's just open, but it's tough because at the end of the day in America, we call it a skirt, right? So unless you're Harry Styles, you can't really rock that shit and not get beat up on the streets of LA. Or you go to Catholic school. I would, I would. Kilts make sense though.

Yeah, I guess they do. I don't know. I wonder if like, if like you just came to this world and you saw it as a man, you probably wouldn't think of anything feminine, you know? You'd probably just be like, oh, you can wear that too. Yeah, who decided that? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, yeah. Like if all I fed my son is William Wallace, you know, like nonstop. Yeah, well, then you'd want to wear one.

And he'd be like, oh, this thing's sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he goes to school like, hey, you're in a dress, dude. Right, right. You know, that's true. I remember something that influenced me when I was a kid, the first time, you know, like my mom wanted to go see Raiders of the Lost Ark. Hell yeah.

You know? And I was like, I don't want to see this crap. You know, I remember this clearly being like, this is going to be stupid. Really? I don't know. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

I was like a little kid. Man, when I got home, I wanted a whip. Yeah. I wanted a hat. Yep. Wow. You know, and I was running around the house. Da-da-da-da-da.

Da-da-da-da-da. You know? And so it's that kind of thing. It'll influence you. Like, my hero growing up, one of them was Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I thought it looked swole if I got a flat top like him. So we went to the great clips and I was like, I want a flat top. Wow.

Really? I'm like, can you do it? He's all say less. Can't really do it. And my hair was awful, but I thought I looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's on a flat top. Yeah. I used to have the, I wanted the, when I was a kid,

I wanted the 90210, Luke Perry, Jason Priestley hair. Hell yeah, dude. I'll send a pic in. It was, it bro. Fuck off, bro.

I'm with you on that. That'd been sick. I felt so good with it. Man, well, you don't even know. Don't even get me started. I had it. You're the kid in play.

You're the kid in play. Bro, I had a flat top with a duck tail yes boy I had a duck tail back here like that's you know what I mean

bro I gotta see that no we should get pictures of cause I have a picture of a flat top the sad part is like you know I come from a generation

I know no pics I have to find they had to draw you yeah they had to draw that's a draw like a wanted poster from a western

like I'm at the Venice beach oh man alright hey yo That's a draw? Like a wanted poster from a western? Like I met the Venice Beach? Oh, man. R.I.P. to Luke Perry, man. I loved that dude. He was a nice guy, yeah. He was great on... He was also in...

The New Kid? He was? He looks like Brian. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know that's hilarious. Oh, no, he looked like Brian if Brian was on HGH for 30 years. Fuck, I love... No, he was on Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know that's hilarious. Oh, no, he looked like Brian if Brian was on HGH for 30 years. Fuck, I love.

No, he was on Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. That was his last movie. Oh, he does look like Brian Callen. He's great on that one. He was on. He does look like Brian. He was doing well. He was on Riverdale.

We were on a plane together, and then he died like fucking. Dime piece. What did he die from? Being too handsome? I forget. I don't know. He's a good guy, though. Speaking of dime pieces, what is this?

The Twilight? Dude, end with a wolf? She sent in videos a couple times before. She's a stripper in Cleveland. Oh, that's right. She came out to the Thick Boy song on the pole. What do you mean? What's up, guys?

Congrats on the nuptials. Jesse here, and I'm here to bring you another King It or Sting It. So to give a little back story, my husband and I recently had a vow renewal ceremony in Australia where he's from. And one of our friends gifted us a commissioned drawing of one of our family photos of us with our dogs here. Nick, I'm going to need you to pull up the side by side. Everyone looks like they have Down syndrome. As you can see, this did not turn out great and I just have to have y'all ping it or

sting it. What do you think of commissioned drawings for a wedding gift? Gang Gang, Buzz Buzz, Soar, and sorry Eric, I'm not going to sing for you. Wait, this little dime? That's not terrible drawing. No, that's terrible.

No, he looks like him. But she looks like she's on the spectrum. Like she doesn't look good. And she's gorgeous. Yeah, but also it's still bad. Yeah, but also you have two wolves. Look at that. Two wolves.

Look at that picture. But here's the issue. I know. The picture's insane. I know, but the issue is like. The wolves. No, but the issue is like you have this person who's like an artist, and they're making this thing for you that is like on your special day,

and they're saying – they're giving it to you like this. What do you think? Right? And it's like it's supposed to be special, and this is like, you know, like what you do to a sixth grader. You put it on the refrigerator with a macaroni pan. Yeah, what do you want me to do with it? Frame it? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. What do you do? I think grader, you put it on the refrigerator with a macaroni pan. Yeah, what do you want me to do with it? Frame it?

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. What do you do? I think that's what she's asking. It's like it's a difficult, you're put in a difficult position. Oh, you don't say anything. You take it and you burn it. But the other thing is, like, you're not going to beat that original. First of all, there were two fucking grown wolves.

And I don't like how nobody's addressing that. The other thing is, they're in front of a fucking waterfall. Everything in that picture is a dime. I thought that picture was Photoshopped. It's real. Yeah, I know. That picture is amazing. You know what?

The couple is so good looking, and then the dogs are so striking that put the dogs in the back because it's – No, you don't put the dogs in the back because they're not dogs. I hate how no one's – There's no dogs. This is a normal occurrence.'t put the dogs in the back. Because they're not dogs. I hate how no one's... There's no dogs in this picture. You got two dimes with two wolves, dude, in front of a fucking waterfall. You should recreate this picture. These are not people that I want to hang out with.

You don't want to hang out with her? Maybe. I don't know. No, dude, I don't want to hang out with people that have wolves and live in the wilderness. Oh, I'm in. These are these probably these like you like they're always I'm always like, you know in like sweatpants and like no Gear no, no, I don't like couple. Oh, I see. Oh, you don't like Them they're like this. Hey Chris, how you doing? We're going rock climbing. Like, fuck off.

You know what I mean? I'm not outdoorsy. Oh, see, I want to be with them. No, I want to be like. I mean, they need to be at my show 100%. Yeah, but they're just dead. I'm intimidated by these type of. Oh, no, if they were swingers, I'm in. They're gorgeous.

I'm in. If they're swingers, I'm in. They're swingers. No, if I can play with the wolves and hang out and spit shop on workouts, I'm in. Yeah. They want to go to movies. They probably have never seen movies. Right.

Oh, it's Aaron Rodgers. Oh, Eric, did you see every movie? I know you've been busy, but have you seen the new Jurassic Park? Haven't seen it yet, but I've heard bad things. I've heard so bad. I can't wait to see it. When I hear a movie's awful, I can't wait to see it. Wait, wait, wait.

Speaking of, have you watched Top Gun? Nope, not yet. Top Gun is fantastic. Unreal. No, it's not's awful, I can't wait to see it. Speaking of, have you watched Top Gun? Nope, not yet. Top Gun is unreal. Fantastic. No, it's not. Best movie I've seen in 10 years.

Thank you. It's fantastic. It's not. Joy kill. Can't wait to see it. Now you're not gonna enjoy it just to be a handful. I'll be honest.

No, you're not. Yes, I will. I'll go in with a clear mind. You want to hear it? It's so good. You could go in being a hater and you're... Dude, I stood up

and fucking saluted the screen like this. You're gonna be in there. Nothing will make you more stood up and fucking saluted the screen. Yeah, that's great. Like this. You're going to be in there. Nothing will make you more proud. Hit it on the edge. Hit it when it's right around. I don't... That is a good song.

Yeah. Is that it? Is that the new one? Of course. I like that. Come on, Danny. It's the nostalgia shit. It's the nostalgia shit, though, man.

What do you mean? It's not that. Let me tell you. Okay. There's no... He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Okay. I don't know. The only thing that's nostalgic about it is the fact that, though, man. What do you mean? It's not that. Let me tell you. Okay. There's no. It's not the same. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Okay.

I don't know. I don't know. The only thing that's nostalgic about it is the fact that they started the movie the same way. Yes. Right? But other than that. Okay.

Let me tell you what it is. Like, there's no Thanos in it. Okay. Right. What I'm saying is like, it's just good acting, good story, and like heartfelt. Heartfelt. And it's old school. You know what it is?

Tom Cruise, I believe this motherfucker. But here's my thing here. It's a great point. The reason you believe him is because for the first time in his career, he's accepted, oh, I'm older. And he takes on that older leadership role. Instead of being Mission Impossible 19, this badass. And he wasn't dating a 22-year-old. No, sometime.

You know what I mean? What's her name? Jennifer Connelly. It was like, you know, what I'm saying is Tom Cruise, he does this thing in his movies where you know he's doing his own stunt, right? Yeah. So you look at it and you go, man, you really are dedicated to making this movie good. So even though you know this is fake, I appreciate the effort that he puts in. Yeah.

This motherfucker, he's flying the plane, man. He's taking off. I saw him on an interview. He's like, yeah, I got my F-14 license. I got my F-19 license. Yeah, dog. And he was like, and I got my realtor's license. That's hilarious.

No, Eric. For fucking what? You need more money? Tom Cruise is like, yeah, you want to go see a two-bedroom movie? Imagine you show up, Tom Cruise is trying to sell you this fucking $350,000 house. Oh, I'm buying the house. I'm buying the house. He has that thing about him, man.

He got that thing. No, but Eric, did you? But you know, this goes back to my thing that I always say. Acting is a bullshit job, dude. It's easy as fuck. It's so easy that you learn other jobs to do the fucking job because it ain't shit. Wow, piece of shit. Here's the problem, Eric.

That's such a good point, dude. No, no, no, no. You know what? I do good points. When the movie starts... Wait. This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous!

Yeah. I'm telling you. I'm telling you this. When the movie starts, before the movie even starts, it's Tom Cruise in the chair. He goes, hey, thank you so much

for coming to the movie theater. And I'm like... Fuck! No, me too. No, originally I was like, this is going to be terrible the chair goes, hey, thank you so much for coming to the movie theater. And I'm like, what? Fuck! No, me too. No, originally I was like, oh, this is going to be terrible. He goes, we were waiting for this to hit the theaters because you're seeing real G-Force, real Jets. We worked our ass off. Enjoy the movie.

I went, oh, that's cool. And then check this out. Miles Teller was around Jets so much, he got real sick, broke out in hives, had to go in this oatmeal bath, right? And he gets his blood work done. Next day comes the set goes you all right man what's going on and miles teller goes dude they found jet fuel my bloodstream could have killed me and you know what tom crew said this is an ultimate fucking primo actor he looks at him goes you had jet fuel in your blood and miles teller goes yeah he goes i was born with it what's up wait hold on hold on do you want so this is a bit like a bit like callan and i would do like oh i came to this is real shit he actually had jet fuel in his bloodstream they couldn't shoot

for two days because he broke out in hives couldn't figure out what it was thought he was allergic to food or something they found out because he's around jet so much somehow it got in his bloodstream which is very dangerous first. First of all, and I had to. Yeah, no shit is dangerous. Tom Cruise hears it. This one's great. Tom Cruise hears it and goes, I was born with it. But he wasn't.

He's just an actor. He's just saying. No, you know what? I disagree with you. Tom Cruise is not just an actor, okay? He's got that thing. And you know what? You know what?

I challenge you. You got a little bit of that thing too. That's why motherfuckers are out here getting tattoos on their body with your thing. So it's not just of you. It's not just about being an actor or whatever. It's when you have that thing, the only thing that can stop it or tarnish it would be like slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars. That's what could alter it. Because that motherfucker had that thing too.

You know what I mean? But anyways, it's a great movie. He has that. It's also pro-America. You know what? Are you from Russia? Are you from Russia? No, but that's why it's fucking killing.

Yeah. It's tricking you. No, it's not tricking you. That's real, dude. Oh my God. Dude, I'm from fucking, I. That's real, dude. Oh, my God. Dude, I'm from fucking, I'm from the corner of Real Avenue and Authentic Street, right? Real Avenue and Authentic Street? Yeah.

So you're on the corner? Yeah. You have a corner mansion on Authentic and... Tell me. So stupid. You're so dumb, dude. You got to see it. What does Aaron Rodgers have to say?

Take your wife to it. I'll see it. I'll see it. Yeah. Because my dad was in the Navy. And not only is it good, he's like, it's authentic. Because my dad used to work on fighter jets. So he was my neighbor.

Yes. On Authentic Street. Yeah, dude. All right. You had neighbors on Authentic Street. Yeah, dude. Neighbours on Authentic Street? King, Wing, Sting whoever else may be there. A lot of foreign. King of Stinget. Weddings.

Getting married abroad. Obviously from Scotland. He went to Vegas to get married. Didn't invite anyone. Just me and her. It was good That's cool King of Stigget Buzz Buzz

Whatever The Black King Thanks bro Avid Avid listener Avid listener So wait He got married just by himself

With the With him and his girl What are you saying Like destination wedding Is what he was But also like But it was just the two of them I didn't do a whole ordeal

I think that's cool Whatever fits your shit Like if that's like they do it man I mean I made a courthouse, bro If you're I got a buddy who's like the girls like I just want to go to the courthouse like no I want to have a party. I'm like bro Buy a fucking house. That's what my girl I was thinking when we bought our house ago

Listen, we can do whatever you want to do or we can take that money invest it into this house Look at this out there you get you Parents paid for the wedding. I'm glad I had a wedding. That's how it should work. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm glad I had a wedding. I look at all my groups of friends who don't know each other.

I was so moved by the people that showed up. And it was just like, I was like, this is great. When are all these people going to be together? At my wedding and my funeral. You know what I mean? You're not going to be there for that one. I'm not going to be there for that one. So it's like, I thought this was a great thing. But I will say this.

All about destination weddings. Oh, yeah. I'm not. Make it easy, though. It is easy. It's not, though. Here's where I'm going to be. No, no. Especially as Torn Comics. It's a nightmare. Always I was able to go to yours because San Francisco, I had to reschedule. Yours. Especially as torn comics. It's a nightmare. Yeah, true. Only as I was able to go to yours because San Francisco, I had to reschedule.

Yours, I was in Portland. It sucks. I was so happy, though. I got Adam Ray's Save the Date, and I'm like, let me check if I'm on the road. I'm not on the road. I'm like, oh, good. I can go. Yeah, it is hard.

It is hard. Oh, so sorry that you two rich fucks can't make money that one day. Okay? We're disappointing thousands of people if we don't go. Hundreds of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. You're kidding me? What are you talking about?

I sell tickets. I'll be in, by the way, I'll be in Dallas. That's what it is. I'll be in Dallas. He's workaholic. Hopefully there's no weddings

July 14th or 16th so I'm in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I don't know where I'm going to be. I haven't even been thinking about it. But my point is, that's all I think about. I like a good destination wedding because, like, I tell you this. I went to Adam Devine's wedding.

Where was it at? And it was in Cabo. Yeah. And I had the greatest time. And it was like, one, I got the wedding discount on a really expensive hotel, so that was nice. Yeah. Right, right, right. So you got that.

But then it was like just being with people like, oh, we're at the pool. We're at the buffet. It's such a great time. Even like, you can say what you want. You had a destination wedding. This got fucking kind of real on a Thursday at 4.30. I drove an hour. That's not a destination.

It took longer to get to your wedding than it did to mine. No, motherfucker. We got there the day before and there was a lot of traffic. And I was in traffic with Rachel like, this is Chris getting back at me right now. Because he had a party at five. It was hard to get there. I got your wedding in an hour. The other thing is

I haven't seen Marshall in five years. I did a movie with Marshall. I haven't seen him since. Oh, really? I was in one of his movies. Marshall's great. Rick Glassman. I haven't seen him since the start of the pandemic. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool to see these guys. Bill Lawrence was there looking rich.

Yeah, really. I know. He looked like... And Josh Lieberman was there. I haven't seen him in person forever. I haven't seen him in forever. I'm surprised he was there. Yep. Gotta fucking... It's all love. It was a good time. I felt like whoever was there they support

you and love you it was great yep and theo was dealing with some family things so that's why he didn't i just said to the i was like yeah i'm sorry i wish you were coming he's like i wish i could get over there man but i don't know what he's doing i called him on my way home oh yeah he was asked he was how was it man he's like i sent you guys all my address and he never got back to me to you yeah when i was saying i was like because i you know what my thing was i'm not chasing anybody to come to my wedding you know it's like hey you want to come if i don't hear back i'm like okay yeah i'm not gonna be like hey man why don't you come i'm like i don't you know i was like can you come if you can't come i don't care but but i will say this and this is you know i was important i couldn't i get it no i get it but it's like i

couldn't wait to like i know how much i love somebody. If I was, like, excited to go to yours, I was sad I missed yours. Other people, the weddings, I'm like, not happening, dude. I'll make something up. I'll be like, oh, man, I got a piece of top gun. It's fine if you can't come. It's fine if you can't come. But it's not, though. It is.

I mean, just at least say it, you know? Like, I had people that were, like, you know, Chris was like, are they coming or not? And I'm like, you know, and they just never responded. Right. And it's like, that's so rude. But that's why I, you know what, for me, I just went, I'm not going to worry about this. The ones that really like they want, like, like the workaholics boys didn't come, but they all told me why. Like Blake sent me a really nice video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Adam was like, dude, I'm shooting, what you call it? And Anders's brother got married. Yeah. On the 10th. Sure. You know? So I was like, dude, I'm shooting what you call it. And Anders' brother got married on the 10th. Sure. You know? So I was like, okay.

Yeah. But when nobody, when they just don't hit you up at all. No, but just say something about it. I shouldn't have even invited you. I know. I know. It sucks. I felt bad even telling you about it.

Hey, man. You know what I mean? I rescheduled San Fran. I can come. It was like a two-day notice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, I don't need food, nothing. Just give me a piece of cake and some whiskey, man.

It's also different because like if you guys couldn't come, you guys are my friends. It's fine. Like I fucking, I understand. We talk all the time. But it's like some people, it's like, oh, I guess we're not friends. You know what I mean? You know what? Wait, I got to say something.

What? I remember five years ago, I was on Bobby's podcast, and I was talking to him about like, you know, when you don't get invited or learn about one of your comic friend's big life events, it makes you feel like you're not really their friend. After now getting married, I totally changed my mind on that. How so? Because I used to think about like, I thought I was really close with Sebastian.

He didn't invite me to his wedding. And I was like, oh, man, maybe we're not friends. Now I get it. I get it. It's just like, you know, for me, we were in a certain budget. I can't invite everybody. I just think who is currently in my life all the time. Right now.

Let me invite those people right now. And it's not a slight on the other people. No, I do understand that. But what I'm saying is if you get invited. And you don't have anything going on. I did do a caption for the poster picture. I was going to say anybody who didn't come that's known Chris and he invited and for whatever reason you don't want to show support, fuck all y'all. That's what I wanted to put.

You know, it's like I get it because it really depends on the closeness level. Like you know who you're really close to because because we were going to go on our honeymoon. We had this whole big back and forth. I was like, well, if we go, we can come back. And I wanted to go to the party even before the wedding. So we're going today. We decided to like – so we started it since it was a destination wedding. The people that you came up with that couldn't make it, didn't come, I'm out.

I'm out. We're all bitches. Bitches. It depends on what it is and what went down and what you had to do. And again, if you say, I can't come, that's fine. Fine. But for the people that are like, because Kristen was like, are they coming or not? We had to know for the thing.

And it's like, they didn't even respond. One guy I texted, a very close friend, known him for years. And I was just like, are you coming? Or, you know, let me know. And he's like, oh, I didn't get the email. And I was like, yeah, but we also sent you a fucking mail. I texted you as well. And then he just.

That's my thing. I just go, no, no, no. No, I'm out. You don't want to force somebody. You got it. Yeah, yeah. Don't tell me you didn't get the email. Right.

The text. I mean, well. I got your address. I i invite i have someone else i like you know and i was like yo like a month ago i was like hey man yeah you coming yeah no it's just kind of like i know you got this thing that's gonna piss me i know you got it oh well my girl blah blah blah i'm like okay i'm out i'm just like all Well, then I'm not going to. I ask people one time. That's it. No, if it's important, then make it.

But as far as honeymoons, how'd you guys decide? Yours is surprising. I'm going to go to London. We're going to go to London. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're bringing yourself with you? No, I'm not.

No. Oh, that's good. She was like. Are you going to the outskirts or are you going like downtown London? No, we're going downtown, bro. I want to do that. That's not weird. I don't want to do it.

How long are you going to be gone? Six days, seven days. Are you ready to be away from Calvin't that weird? I don't want to do it. How long are you going to be gone? Six days, seven days. Are you ready to be away from Calvin for six days? No. I'm surprised that you guys aren't taking him. I know. I want to. You almost should take your parents and just have them be. Yeah.

I want to. And where are you going, Eric? We're going to Cancun. Okay. My girl's cousin, she works for this luxury such and such place that does vacations and stuff. So she got us. We're going to this boutique-y Cancun. You know what I mean?

$1,000 spa credit. We're getting picked up at the airport. I want to be in a city. I don't want to be. She was like, let's go here. Let's go there. It's so weird. I sting that.

Cities are all the freaking same, man. They're all the same. Go to Toronto. The weather's awesome in LA. We're going to go to Cancun. It's fine. It's cool. But then you got to eat at the fucking two restaurants they have around there.

Do you know what I mean? It's more than two. I know. But it's like if you're in a place. You get room service. It's all inclusive. But that's where I don't want to be. I don't want to be all inclusive.

No, me neither. I want to find a good coffee shop. I want to go out. She loves history. So you want to be in LA. So we got to go learn. You want to be in LA. Who got killed where?

You want to be off cold water. That's what he wants to do for your honeymoon. Yeah, you're right. I do. But she's like. If there was like a hotel next to the fucking coffee bean, he would be like, oh, this is great. Babe, I'm going down to the coffee bean. Our honeymoon's in Pasadena.

Yeah. Here at the coffee bean and tea leaf resort. What else you got, Nick? That's it. That's it? That's good, yeah. Holy shit. Oh, my God.

Well, congrats, fellas. Thanks. If there's anybody in London that wants to fucking do a tattoo, by the way, hit me up. I want to get a tattoo there. Oh, you're going to get a London tattoo? Based off your wedding? Nah, something. I don't know.

Yeah, something like that means something. I want some more tattoos. And then I am going to be in Dallas. I am going to be in Denver at the Belco Theater. Get tickets at crystalia.com. I'm going to be all the way. I'm in Jacksonville. I be in Dallas. I am going to be in Denver at the Belco Theater. Get tickets at crystalia.com. I'm going to be all the way. I'm in Jacksonville. I'm in Kansas.

I'm in a lot of different places. Boston at the Wang Theater. So hit it up, crystalia.com. Yeah, and then I'm back on the road. The Trash Pan of Summer Tour start kicks up July 14th, 16th, Fort Wayne, Indiana. New club out there. And then I'm in San Diego the following week. That's in July.

That's San Diego Laugh Factory, the one where I opened up for Chris. That's why I decided to do the club. It's a great club in the heart of San Diego, Laugh Factory San Diego. And then I'm in August 4th through the 6th. I'm in Baltimore. And then it is? September 8th, Appleton, Wisconsin. Oh, Appleton, Wisconsin just got added.

And then we have Houston and Boston. Tickets at figboy.com. Get you some. But Fort Wayne, Indiana. Let's do it. Eric, what do you got, Doug? I don't got a lot of stuff because I haven't been thinking about it. But I am going to be at the Creek in the Cave in Austin from July 15th through the 17th.

And I know I have an Irvine improv day coming up. I just forgot. I'm just doing one night at Irvine. Cool. And I'm going to have all this stuff up once I get back. Get back from my honeymoon. I'm just doing one night at Irvine. Cool. And I'm going to have all this stuff up once I get back from my honeymoon. I'm going to be back

to being, you know. Eric Griffin, the comedian. Yeah. I know. I haven't thought about it. Yeah, I haven't even thought about it. You know what I mean?

Because it's been so like, you know, I've just been in a love haze. I'm actually so glad you got married a week after me. I felt like it was like, I'm having the two weeks

of love. I like that we did it. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was great. Can I plug something? Yeah. We've done this before. Live show, we did it, yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? It was great. Can I plug something? Yeah. We've done this before.

Live show, live podcast at Irvine Improv, July 13th. Me and my two buddies are joining Kate Casey from Reality Life with Kate Casey. Wow. Which is insane. Congrats. I'll say it out loud. Irvine Improv, July 13th. Oh, nice.

Go hit that up. And make sure also that we issue a shout out. Make sure you check out TheoVon.com. Theo's on tour all over. Yeah, he's on tour. Yeah, so he's going to be out. Make sure you check out TheoVon.com. He was on tour all over. Yeah, he was on tour. Yeah, so he's going to be out someplace in some redneck town. So make sure you look for him. And he'll be on.

He's just handling his family business. He'll be back, though. Yeah, cool. Shout to Mr. TheoVon. They're used to it at this point. They don't care. All right, guys. Love you.

Love you. It's the king and the sting. Back up in the sting. I just got a call that said they wanna add the wing They got me working OT all night long How many times I gotta make this song? Ay, hold on, what is this? Now y'all wanna switch?

Y'all just added Stevie and Eric and now y'all adding Chris? How's that gonna fit? Wait, I get the gist I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting It's the wing and the king and the sting Hold on, hold on Hold on, wait a minute, let me think Outro Music