The Golden Hour - Episode 181: Life's A Garden, Dig It

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

The guys talk waking up early like Jocko Willink & Mark Wahlberg, the new Buzz Light Year kiss warning, billionaire democrats, sad kids movies, backing into parking spaces, dating a bottle girl/stripper, nicotine pouches and vaping, IV drips, celebrating spirit week, dating big girls vs tiny girls, all new KATS In The Wild and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's all tough. It's all tough. Life is hard. Just keep going and never stop and get that money and buy properties. Yeah. Life's a garden. Dig it. Oh, shit.

I hate that. Me too. Me too. I don't like that. That's why I said it. That's a shirt that you'd get that you'd see like an in-law wear. It's a bumper sticker like my aunt has. Life's a garden.

Dig it. Hate it. Don't. You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying.

Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So. Do you think fans care about anyone's schedule? Like hour to hour? I don't know. I wonder. Oh, like any fans, any celebrities?

Any celebrity. No. I mean, Mark Wahlberg maybe wakes up at 2.30 if it's very weird. How long are we going to believe that all that? You know what I'm saying? I mean, you know, he definitely has woken up at 2.30 to work out, probably when he's like in the middle of shooting or he's jet lagged

or some shit when he has to. But not every day. No way does somebody wake up at 2.30 every day. That's horse shit. You got to go to sleep at fucking 6.30 p.m. That's what he says. He's like, you know, I do my work, then I'm in bed by six.

I'm like, all right, dude. Also, like, you're just kind of like proving, you're like kind of exposing to the world how annoying you are if you do that. Like, how annoying is that, dude? I got to, so I will have six hours to, like, if I'm his wife, I have six hours with you. What if you're his kids?

Yeah, yeah. I got to see him between 1 and 2 with you. What if you're his kids? Yeah. Yeah. I got to see you guys between 1 and 2.30. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Daddy is waking up fucking four hours before you wake up. Oh, this is him here posting every day?

No, this is Jocko. Oh, different animal. Different animal. Jocko. That's his whole life though. This is this guy. Straight up savage. He's not out there playing a fucking. So he wakes up at 4.30, bro? Yeah, man. What does Jocko go to bed? That's a whole life, though. This is this guy. Straight up savage. He's not out there playing a fucking. So he wakes up at 4.30, bro?

Yeah, man. What does Jocko go to bed? That's a good question. I want to know when. I would like to see a watch with what time he's going to jump into this sheet. 3.47 he woke up. He'll go to bed. He'll try to go to bed between 10 and 11, but sometimes he doesn't get that.

And then when he's tired during the day, he allows himself to take five minuteminute naps where he'll lay on the couch and he'll elevate his feet. Yeah, that's what I heard. That does probably nothing, huh? Five minutes. You just sleep and your feet fall asleep too. But Jocko makes sense. I mean, the guy's been through war. He's done several tours.

He's killed people with his bare hands. That all makes sense. That is crazy. But for Mark Wahlberg, dude, you're in Transformers 7. He just played a priest. Yeah. Like, it's all good, dude. He funded his own movie. You don't have to do that. That one? No. Dude, you're in Transformers 7. He just played a priest. Yeah. Like, it's all good, dude. And he funded his own movie.

You don't have to do that. That one? Yeah. He funded it? Because no one really wanted to do it. Dude, I don't know why actors don't do that more. Like, you know, people are always like, like a lot of actors will be complaining,

I don't get the parts, I don't this and that. You're fucking, you made so much money off of some shit. Why don't you fucking fund some shit? That's a lot of money, dude. I understand, but it doesn't have to, though. These people, well, Mark Wahlberg, he's got like $500 million. At least. Yeah.

He can make a $10 million movie. Yeah. I mean, he could get paid on the back end, but nobody's going to see that fucking Stu movie, right? That's what it's called? Father Stu or whatever. Yeah, and it went straight to- Nobody's going to fucking see it, dude. Nobody sees anything anyway, unless it's Transformers.

Would you, I was talking to Mark about this before he came in. Would you take your son to see the new, um, Buzz Lightyear? Yeah, I think so. Why? It's just, it's not doing well. Cause the narrative before it came out, right. There's a gay character that it's a female character. It's another female character.

But when they first announced it, there's gonna be a gay character in my head. I'm like, oh, Buzz Lightyear is going to like suck off Woody or something. That might be a lot for. It might not be rated G. So I was like, yeah, I'm not, I'm not taking my son to that. Buzz is sucking off Woody. Sure. Well, if anyone anyone's sucking off anyone don't bring any son to anything yeah well you never know if it's cartoon whatever but yeah but um it's a girl kiss another girl i guess i don't care you know i don't give a shit oh so like i go put a night with my son and

or even me like i i didn't take him i don't know wow really yeah i'm super pro-gay i've gay friends i don't care interesting i'm not like busting out the door to go see it apparently a lot of america's not either because you can't they can't show this movie overseas china was like oh we're how really russia went check please yeah oh dude i can't wait to see the but like they're all pretending that they're for this shit. And they're like, what is it? Uh, Pixar or Disney? I just can't wait till they backtrack. And they're just like, oh, well, you know, well, it's not, it's always about money, dude.

Like they try to act like they care. They don't care. Nobody cares who kisses anybody. They only fucking give a shit. It's about the money, dude. And if nobody's seeing Buzz Lightyear, people already fucking mad at Chris Pratt. Cause he's fucking religious or whatever, know religious and he's like whatever the fuck it is he's religious but then he's also i think a little bit far right he hunts you know

i don't know if he's far right i just said that i spread a rumor but i love love chris pratt dude yeah he's cool yeah he's a nice guy i don't you know i don't give a fuck but that's also like with the rock remember with rogan he was like i can't wait to come on the show and drink some tequila with you and then people like have, I can't wait to come on the show and drink some tequila with you. And then people were like, have you seen Rogan's recent opinions on whatever vaccinations? Yeah. And then he was like, oh, wasn't aware. Bottom line.

Yeah. I think it was the, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I bet behind closed doors, he's a bro. Oh, dude. I would bet my last dollar. Who has a billion dollars that's a Democrat? Who has a billion dollars that's a Democrat? Pelosi, yeah. Yeah, because she's made a career being a democrat correct but if you're not making a career out of

being a politician you got a billion dollars oh you're republican as shit yeah daddy because you like those tax breaks yeah dude it's always all about money but but think about it if you're like it's a double-edged sword if you're the rock Rock or you're John Cena or you're Johnny Depp, you can't come out and give any opinion. I know, I know, I know. Because it's going to fuck with your movies. I know, I know. That's why John Cena learned Mandarin.

So they had a female kiss a female, and people are – it's not bombing. The movie's not bombing, is it? For a Pixar movie, it's bombing. Really? Because of that? Yeah, I heard she takes the suit off and grabs her tits and goes, ugh.

Okay, well, that may not be true. That may beay but wow box office go up go up go up go up go up box office behind the pixar movies family problem wow interesting dude but i think i don't think america is anti-gay they're not they know i think they're like oh i just don't want my whatever six five-year-old dealing with this what they don't want my whatever six five year old dealing with this what they don't just make a good fun movie parents kids are asking you so many fucking questions you don't want to have to have to answer more fucking questions they already got the questions how do you go to outer space you're busy for like fucking six months you don't know how they go to outer space so you're trying to tell your kid and they're like well why did a girl

kiss a girl and you got to explain that too? Well, some people are homosexual. And then they say, they don't even say what's homosexual. They say, what do you, what does the word some mean? There's so many fucking, there's so many things that they have to learn. They don't want to have to learn this too.

And your kids too, right? Yeah. My six year old, I mean, probably a year ago, I picked her up from school and he's like, hey dad, who's Jesus? Who decides to go to heaven and hell? I'm like, oh my God, this is heavy. And his buddy's Jewish. He's like, dad, Dad, who's Jesus? Who decides to go to heaven or hell? I'm like, oh, my God, this is heavy.

And his buddy's Jewish. He's like, Dad, why aren't we Jewish? What is Jewish? What's being Jewish? I'm like, bro, let me Google this. I don't even know, yeah. You got Google. Son, you got Google, and then go like this, and then walk away.

But then he also, the other day, he started crying. I pick it up. We were driving home from Jesus, and he's bawling. I'm like, what's wrong with you, dude? He's like, I'm going to die someday. No, he goes, I other day he started crying. I pick it, we're driving home from Houston. He's bawling. I'm like, what's wrong with you, dude? He goes, I'm going to die someday. No, he goes, I don't want you to die. Yep.

I was like, did you have like a weird dream or something? Like, what's going on here? He's like, no. He's like, we have so much fun. You're such a good dad. I'm like, right, right. Real quick though. Why are you crying like this?

Yeah. But I guess I talked to his pediatrician who, you know, she's not a therapist yeah yeah a lot of kids it's common yeah you should tell him though like that daddy has 10 years left i know i don't know see you're being generous i told him four i said don't cry you have four solid years yeah you know you know i did as i'm driving the bronco with the top down i took off my shirt and started flex for him i go fuck do you think i'm dying really you know what's stronger than the other dad that's cute yeah that's cute that's cute he still cried though yeah yeah well yeah because now he's gonna be made fun of that he fucking had the dad that was flexing in his bronco with the top down with the shirt off but that's still cool i think he'll

grow up to think it's cool yeah hopefully dude wow that's a trip about that light year thing is it though like i could have called it well no no it's just a trip that i think that most people actually just they don't want to smell an agenda i think that like as an adult when you're going to a movie you're like all right dude really like this is going to be fucking like i got i this is an agenda i know you don't it's it's not authentic like they don't care they care about the money we all know it's about business yes so when they're like yeah but we're for this it's like dude gay people know it's some gay people are like gay representation but they know most of them know is like they're doing this shit because they think it fucking affects the bottom line yeah and that's it that's not authentic what's weird yeah it's not authentic is the key yeah i literally don't give a shit but i think you know i do think like a good majority

of people are gay or born gay. They can't guess who to decide that rough gig, dude. So I think it's dope. Same with like Black Panther. Like if you're a young black kid, like dope. You have your superhero. So with this, it's like if you're a gay kid, like even though it's not Buzz Lightyear, like it's a kind of, I don't know the character's name. So it's not like Woody's gay.

Like that'd be dope if you were gay and Woody's your guy. And if you were gay and also your name was Woody, that would be so gay. Sick. Yeah. Okay. Andy gets the doll and crosses his name out because he's gay. Who?

Andy, the owner of Woody. Oh. Yeah. Come on, dude. Far right, Andy. Come on, dude. All right. How do you not watch these movies as a kid?

I saw it, but I don't remember, bro. Here's the thing. Even kids don't fuck with Toy Story because it's so long. There's not a lot of action. So sad. We saw Bad Guys. We saw that with the shark. Great movie.

You saw it? You watching it? See it. It just came out. I saw it in the theaters, and we bought it on demand, dude. He watches it every night. Me too. My son goes, I want to watch the Bad Guys.

Yeah. And it's so cute. And you know fucking the comics in it yeah yeah mark mark maron mark maron yeah yeah i thought it was danny devito for fucking half the whole dude i thought dac shepherd was the wolf oh yeah it does sound like i'm no it's that other guy that i always forget his name yeah me too fuck i always forget that guy's name me too even if you said i would be like oh that's cool my mike or sean or bad guys it's fucking good it's good yeah it's cool it's fine it's bad it's not a good movie anyway let's go it's not good it makes no sense if you look at it as an adult

it makes no sense oh if you want to cry if you want to watch um fuck it's a it's a it's a disney movie oh shinless list it's sad oh onward yeah no that sounds sad it's an older one right no it came out like a year ago two years ago watch onward with uh chris pratt's in it he's the oh he is cool dude it's so good i don't like why do you got to make these movies that like these kids movies that cry i i just i don't i can't they make me sad when you with the kids movies just make the bunny jump around and he's like oh found some coins i don't want him to be like my mom you know what i mean yeah she died in a avalanche that's i can't yeah or the mom has like a heroin addictionalanche that's i can't yeah or the

mom has like a heroin addiction yeah well that's that would be a very cool independent movie yes little mermaid pixar where are they now all right dude also where's little mermaid's mom what do you think about that no i never thought about that what do you mean did she not have a dad oh okay he was yeah i mean immaculate conception but with the dad think about it came out of his dick he jerked off and she came out mermaids i don't know so she was run over by a big pirate ship the male seahorse has the baby so maybe the same for oh dude the male seahorse has the baby which only means that the male seahorse is the female seahorse so the female seahorse has the baby yes and they also maybe science mixed up who the fucking male seahorse was is really what's saying titus was the dad's name titus maybe maybe he's

trans christopher titus maybe he's trans he's a female i don't know same hair they don't have fucking cocks or pussies anyway dude they got a fucking whole that's just a big green slappy fin no no errol had a tank on her dude she had She had a wagon. She didn't have a pussy, though. No, she had that wagon out the back, daddy. Yeah, fine. And the big titties in the front. But she didn't have an ass crack. They do say a lot of Disney villains are dressed in drag.

Oh, they mean like Johnny Depp in fucking Alice in Wonderland? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use drag. Ursula, Jafar. Ooh, Jafar, yeah. Ooh, Jafar did have eyeliner on the entire movie. He did. Who else?

Why are bras coming up? That's a big man. Yeah, could be. Or it's Lizzo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. The calf slicer, baby. That's one of the moves they use in UFC.

You know about that? Yeah, dude. How about that hard scarf, daddy? That Peruvian necktie. And what about that frickin' baby beater? I don't know that one, but listen, UFC 276 is here this Saturday. You can watch it. You can watch

actually the Fight Companions 7 p.m. Pacific live on Thickboy. We got the crew, daddy. Yes, this Saturday at DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of UFC. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Nick Davis is not allowed to bet.

All right, let's see what's up with fucking Johnny Bravo over here. I hate to go heavy issues back to back. Oh, Jesus. Oh, I like heavy. He's got a debate club. Let's get real. King's team. Hey, boys, got a keynote or stint for you.

Stint. Backing into parking spaces. Just got here to the gym, backed right into an open parking spot. Never felt like more of a pussy in my entire life when I could have just gone in

really normally. Took a little bit. Took too long, actually. That's why I feel like a gigantic pussy. He doesn't know how to do it.

Appreciate the time, guys. Thanks. Bye. It's way easier to back in, dude. Depends what car you have. No, to me,

it's way easier. a Ferrari. I have bigger cars, too. Backing in is way easier, dude. In your cars? Well, because there's a three-inch seat bigger cars too I backing in is way easier when your cars and you're just well because there's what car what do you drive a fucking tank me yeah I would like a tank well what's he drive you don't say like oh I don't like just look at the interior of the roof it's about assuming you don't have a backup camera it's an outback talking about a different animal dude nah I always back in when I can back in I back in i like to back it up it's easier bro oh you're fine to me it's easier you go it feels better

no it does feel better but driving in plus you got to worry am i it feels like i don't know it feels like you worry less when you're backing up nothing makes me feel you got a low car dude nothing makes me feel more manly when i parallel park if it's like a tight spot and i don't know i just have a gift to parallel parking and my arms around my girl like this, I just back in. Wow. That's right, bitch. Yeah. That's cool. You parallel park and you have your arm around her like this. That is cool, man. What does she do? Oh, she goes like, oh my God, you did it. She grabs her tits. She's like, oh, but then she's, but then she, she's horny. But then when, if you do too many point turns and she's like, okay, nevermind. Yeah. If it's like austin powers yeah just no daddy gets it right away just arm

behind her i turn around go whoop one hundred quitter bitch nice nice okay and then you get out and go to whole foods yeah yeah it's not yeah that's pretty cool to parallel park but backing in is the way to go i think i think backing in is the way to go always i always do it also if you have a boss car backing in that's pretty dope yeah true because people get to see the front in last night at the improv that a lot there Yeah, next to me back then yep back in here, too. Oh you did yep, dude I was back in always how about when I was gonna say how about when it says don't only head in parking Get the fuck out of here and also compact spaces. They don't exist also Tesla spots at the airport come on Well, I guess I'll just leave my car there, but like compacts and also compact spaces they don't exist also tesla spots at the airport come on well i guess

i'll just leave my car there but like compact and then i'll put the charger into my gas tank yeah seems dangerous oh yeah definitely i don't like the i don't like the uh the compact space only no no dude do you know how many compact cars there are versus every car is not a compact car every car is so big dude and there's like what do they mean? Like the little smart cars or like a little Honda. Yeah. But like, there's so many compact spaces. Fuck that, dude. Oh no.

I parked no matter what. And I'm hoping to argue. Yeah. I'm like, let's, let's hear it, dude. I get it. And I wait for a few minutes. Why do I need to park away? Yeah.

Yeah. Doing your Bronco. Hey. What's up, man? Got a king in her stinger for you. Dating a bottle girl. So it's basically my job to flirt with men to get them to buy alcohol and get them drunk. I'm not too good at flirting, but it's my job.

So would you be cool with your girl doing that? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. If she looked like you, I'd be in. I would do whatever, girl. Yeah. She'd be fighting in Russia for all I care. I get it, though. That's right.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right, bro. I get it. I get that. She looks like a Disney character. Yeah, she's hot, but that's why she's a fucking bottle girl. Oh, you're so right.

But I get it. I get why it's, I get why guys get jealous, but like you got to be secure if you're if you're not the kind of guy that can't handle that it's not for you yeah you can't be with that kind of a girl well like could you be with like let's say like your wife let's say when you met her love of your life yeah and she was a stripper yeah like badass stripper but like she's making money yeah like she's like oh here's the louis vuitton off whites of the air force ones i got you seven g's and i go this is cool but she's not going to the boom boom room but right she's like oh here's the louis vuitton off whites of the air force ones i got you seven g's and i go this is cool but she's not going to the boom boom room but right she's rubbing that

asshole on dudes and titties yeah i um her name's cinnamon well i say you can't that's definitely a black stripper cinnamon or stripper in portland okay oh speaking from experience sounds like but um no i think that i think that you have to be i you know i think it's i would i think if i met the girl and she was doing that then i could understand it and i could but if like if she now wanted to do it then i would be like whoa what the fuck i can't deal with this now like i've dated i dated a girl that told me right away that she's like literally like paid like was paid for sex and i was like okay i'm glad you told me that up front wow i'm rock hard so i know so so i know that um and uh we dated for a few months and it ended up i literally i would give you a lot of money i literally wouldn't care.

Yeah. I do not care. I mean, if you have kids, it's like bottle service. That's what- Way different, of course. Yeah, yeah, way different. If you have kids, she's a stripper, she's on OnlyFans. What if your girl was like, hey, babe, I met with a manager.

He says I can make $100K a month on OnlyFans. Would you let her do it? I mean, if we needed to, maybe. No, I'm saying right now, you're good. No. You're yeah only fans yeah would you let her do it i mean if we needed to maybe no i'm saying right now like you're good no you're crushing why would you do it no i'd be like why babe what would it what is there a number you would let her do it and she's not she's not you know sucking dudes yeah no i know she's playing i get it you know she's just like showing her ass playing with a kitty just something we're doing a rock hard dude well i'm already hard uh I don't know, man.

I mean, there's always a number for something, right? $500K a month. That's a lot of money, bro. That's what I'm saying. She used to be in lingerie. Rubbing her kitty or what? No. Quit saying kitty.

For showing feet? Just feet and ass. No vag. I mean, yeah. Okay. You know, I guess. Feet? Sure, I guess.

But she's got $500,000 a month? A month. But she doesn't have to keep the subscriptions up. So one time she has like a chocolate covered banana she's just deep throating it might be where i draw the line i don't know man not that i've seen that these bottle girls make money though do i dated a bottle girl yeah yeah yeah and she made all the money when the heart's working people i know the problem is is the, they age them like fucking redheads. She aged so fast. Got it.

And then her feet hurt all the time. And then they're basically nocturnal animals. Yeah, they don't see the sun. No, they don't see the sun. They turn into Ursula, basically. But she got so much cash, she bought like seven properties. Oh, well, that's good. Crushed it.

Because a lot of people just buy like fucking shoes and necklaces and shit. Yeah. Because they're not good with money. But this is, yeah yeah save your money save your money is she does she have a dude i forget is she saying she has a dude and that he's it bothers him or she's just saying what i bet she's been dating yeah it's all insecure dude it is insecure i literally i wouldn't give a fuck dude i don't care at all yeah i think i wouldn't i think i would not care i don't care yeah yeah i don't care at all i think you got at all. I think you got to find the right dude. You got to find the right dude that doesn't give a fuck.

And there's a ton of them. There are, yeah. You need a dude with confidence and also has his own shit. Right, right, right. If he's obsessed with you and playing video games at home all the goddamn time, it's going to get dicey. But then mommy's making that money. I'm not saying I do this, but I feel like a lot of bottle service girls probably get cheated on because they're out. They're working. Oh, they get cheated on. cheated on because they're out. They're working.

Oh, they get cheated on. Yeah, because they're working during Friday and Saturday. So the type of guy that would date a very pretty bottle girl. Oh, such a good point, Nick. Isn't worried about. Oh, word up, dude. That's a great point. Fist bump, ear pump.

Wow, that is a great point. Because the guy who could get a hot chick as a bottle service girl, and then she's always working. And then he's out on the prowl at other places seeing other bottle type girls and they would yeah get a dick suck the plot thickens bro yeah she has a tough gig because yeah the the dude that like she's a 10. so the dude she's gonna pull has his together she's always working thursday friday saturday sunday she's working the pool parties he's like cool story dude i'm gonna go with my boys yeah and my boys are fucking cool too because we remember all us we came to see you and that's how we met you and we were in the fucking booth

and you came and brought the sparklies over dude this yeah dude this chick is getting cheated on yeah if she's being if she's not single yeah and she needs some counseling i'm here it's all tough it's all tough life is hard just keep going and never fucking stop and get that money and buy properties yeah life's a garden dig it oh shit i hate that me too me too i don't like that that's why i said it that's a shirt that you'd get that you'd see like an in-law wear. It's a bumper sticker like my aunt has. Yeah, life's a garden. Dig it. Hate it.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't ever say that. That might be the title. This guy's a fucking 10 too. Chris, Brendan, hopefully. Savage his last name is? C Savage? His first name is Cunt.

I bet when someone gets in trouble. Just fucking, hey, Cunt Savage here. Freeze, Cunt savage on the case! Or it's cocky savage. That'd be sick. Cock savage? Go see cock savage over there. Yeah, yeah. We gotta find, you know who we need for this? Who?

Cock savage. And his sister, cunt savage. Freeze, villains! He doesn't even say he says villains, dude. Like he's Mr. Incredible? Yeah. Alright, so. All right, so I Hey cock savage look like he has a prompt turn off his body cam Talk Sam talk. Yeah, you turn off the camera beat people on dude If this guy I would be on his body camera be like is your name for real savage, bro

That would be me and his fucking fish-eyed lens Arrested like this really your name's Cock Savage? Yeah. I saw a guy in the airport one time. He had a shirt that said Savage, but he had a button down that was unbuttoned over it, and it just said Vag. Oh. That's great. You better know that. That's great.

Calling him from Iowa. He's an 18-year-old cop or what? Yeah. I have a King and a Stinget for you guys. I know Brendan will have a good amount of input on this, but nicotine pouches. I do them pretty much all day, every day. I wouldn't say I need to, but it's kind of just like a little pick-me-up. It gets me through the day a little bit more easier.

But, yeah, King It or Sting It. And, Brendan, if you would, you're a lot bigger than everyone there. Please force Chris, Theo, and Eric to try one. I wish I could, my man. I'd like them to King it or sting it after they've had the real thing. Nice. Yeah, King it or sting it. Nicotine pouches. Gang gang,

buzz buzz, sore. Oh, a cop that can sing? Dude, yeah. What? Do you want? No, no, no. No way. You want honey lemon or berries? No, I want none. I get apple in my pocket. What do you want? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, cans a day but the thing is when you run out of them you get a little edgy if you're a cop a little edgy yeah things start popping off oh yeah body cam off take your aggression out because you don't have nicotine yeah oh man savage just shot a shoplifter like that's what oh man he he's like i don't know my nicotine man yeah and i'm with cocky savage yeah dude i feel like um

i feel like uh you know don't do it all day though because you'll have no lips you'll end up having no lips right now are you 70 well no because there's no there's no in there it's fine it's okay in that one okay cool i mean my gum like kind of has a weird thing but it's it's not later on he was like savage freeze ConSavage! Freeze! ConSavage! I knew Chris wouldn't.

There would be a lot to say about it, but I wanted to see if you'd take one. No, yeah. Theo would. No way. Theo's taken some before. Eric wouldn't. He's a pussy. Eric wouldn't understand.

He would eat it and be like, now what? Eric won't. Yeah, I mean, Eric won't try Diet Coke. You just keep it in your lip, though, and you just suck on it, right? All day. Yeah. And then when I'm on the road sometimes daddy a vape and that's a they outlawed it it's done no more jewels you think it's gonna stop it's not no but that's crazy bro that's a huge hit to the i thought they outlawed it in like airports and no no

they're saying the fda cracked down on it and they can't fucking sell jewels anymore well i get it because it's like enticing for kids yeah it's like purple and neon and shit one's fruit loop flavor yeah it is lit oh is it really dude my future i call him i call him vape daddy he has nine vapes on at all times whatever flavor you want he has them in his pocket he orders jewel apps to remove products from us market to borrow that's crazy that's a huge hit that's a huge hit. That's a huge hit to them. Let's go underground. They're done. Bro. Did you ever see that kid who was from Barstool? He was on CNN talking about vape, and they thought he was just like an enthusiastic vape fan. And he was just clowning them.

Oh, really? Yeah, this kid was great. Vape guy. Uh-uh. Look, I'm 22 years old, so I'm using them legally. And honestly, they're just cool. Like, they're cool. You rip them. There's nothing cooler than blowing a fat cloud like that.

They call me the Colossus of cloud. I just, it helps my swag. It helps my drip. I just love walking around. It's really good for getting chicks, too. In kids, it can cause concentration problems, memory problems, problems with decision making. Oh my god. You are inhaling propylene glycol, formaldehyde, traces of metals and chemicals. You two have trouble breathing beyond oxygen. Put some people in the emergency room.

Poor Tommy over there is gasping for air and coughing. Tommy, Tommy. But 10, 20 years from now, he's going to have trouble breathing. He may develop chronic bronchitis. Have you smoked cigarettes before, and was this your way to get off or no? No, no, no cigarettes. Cigarettes are bad for you. I would never do anything that's bad for your lungs or anything.

I just stick to Juul. Or it's also no. Dude, they didn't know? No. These fucking idiots. It's hilarious. Wow. Vape king.

Amazing. That's hilarious. I like the smell of the vape. Oh, remember? No, I hate it. One smell is nice. And then again, I'm like. You start crying.

It's too much. Bro, in a small room, we're always in a green room. Even the next day, you're like, do you have to vape? I hate fucking vaping, dude. Bro, I hate. I'd rather you smoke cigarettes for real. Oh, wow. A hundred percent.

I don't even mind that. I mean, you do nothing, dude. No nicotine, no vaping, nothing. Nope. Just coffee. Yeah. God. Does nothing for I mean, you do nothing, dude. No nicotine, no vaping, nothing. Nope, nope. Just coffee. Yeah. God. Does nothing for me, though.

Start living, dude. Dude, I told you this before. Life's a garden, dig it. I know, life's a garden, dig it. But also, Kristen made me do the fucking IV drip or whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah. She's like, it's amazing how it makes you feel. Do what I try four times, literally zero different afterwards.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Do you do it? Oh, yeah. I do them all the time. And it feels good. Oh, wow. Yeah. Do you do it? Oh, yeah. And it feels good? I do them all the time. And it feels good? Oh, yeah.

The best. Bro, she's like- Especially when you come off the road. Yeah, it doesn't- I did it four times. I'm like- You got all the vitamins in there? Add another bag, add more vitamin.

Bro, I never felt anything. And I'm not lying. Like, I just legitimately never- And then she was like- I saw the bill once, and I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. It's like $600 every time. It's too- I'm not doing this anymore. It's like $600 every time. It's too much.

I'm not doing this shit. I feel great. You can do it. Especially if you're sick. It's great. Hungover? Hungover, sick. If you're sick,

you got to get rid of your illness. I just don't feel different at all. And I want to. I would love to have a thing that makes me feel good. Oh, well. Vitamins wise. Oh, gotcha. Not fucking crack. All right. Well. What's up, King of the Sting fans? Your boy Johnny here. to have a thing that makes me feel good oh well vitamins wise oh god not fucking drug crack all

right well what's up king of sting fans your boy johnny here i got a king of singing tattooing yourself oh cool probably not the best hobby but it is what it is thanks for everything you guys do gang the are not he's good yeah he's good if you're good at it do it usually it's a nightmare those are fucking legit is that a boxing kangaroo it kind of looks like his ass is on the gang the are not he's good yeah he's good if you're good at it do it usually it's a nightmare those are fucking legit is that a boxing kangaroo it kind of looks like his ass is on the front yeah it does yeah and i on second look that's a great tattoo but like it's on his legs so fucking gives a shit you know it's one of those like optical illusions yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah now i'm rock hard hairy ass here we go it's hair got hair on it. Yeah, it's, you know, if you like it, dude, fuck it.

Are you getting more tats? I want to, yeah. I'm going to London, you know, and I told, I said, hit me up. I said, if you want to fucking tattoo me, I just told him on my podcast, congratulations. I just came out yesterday. Congratulations. It doesn't matter. Brought to you by Super Cult.

So we, I said, hey, hit me up, artists in London. I would love to get a tattoo in London. Anybody hit you up? Not, well, no, it didn't, it came out today. So where, do you know where you're going to get it? Uh, in London. But are you going?

No, I'm kidding. I want to, I want to. You want to do the front? I do. But I'm, I feel like I need to get tattoos on the rest of my body first. I want to. That stresses me out.

To get this front. Yeah. God, where are you going to get there? You know what I'm getting? A bow tie. Cunt savage. That'd be sick. To get this front? Yeah. God, where are you going to get that? You know what I'm getting? A bow tie. Cunt savage. That'd be sick. Cunt savage, dude.

Cock savage. Cock savage. Like this, with his lip like this. Cock savage. Freeze. No, I don't know. You don't know what you get on the front? It's a ball.

No, I'm not going to do it in London, but I do want to get it eventually. I want to get it all tatted up. Yeah. I want to get it made by my chest or like, you know, I still got my arms, you know. You get a lot of space. Yeah, I got space. You get a lot of free property there.

Yeah. Would you get a King and the Sting and the Wing tattoo during a recording in here? I would. If you had more people? I would. Like an actual tattoo about this podcast? Or anything, but. I mean, I just, like what if you this podcast? Or anything, but.

I mean, just the, like, what if you did wings? The wing, yeah, but not, well. I already have some wings is the thing. Where? The eagle. That's a full bird. I have a plane. I have a fucking paper airplane.

I'm a little bit like, it's Bird City on it. You know what I mean? You're sponsored by Southwest. I know, I know. Game Glider. I would get a tattoo live, yeah. I would do it live. Yeah.

Theo wouldn't. No, Theo wouldn't. Eric sure no no no way well they don't have any tattoos right no Eric would be scared

if he hears the gun right we could all get tattoos that would be cool I know Chin's in I don't have any I mean I didn't even know Chin was that tatted up

I just barely got it though but this guy the guy that does it Johnny from Mojave Creative he would come in to do it because he's fans of the show oh nice and he does great work

cool during the show it would be a terrible pod it would be a and maybe on um what do you call it on uh visually it might be okay though you know what i mean yeah if you're watching the business it's a different story also the shows can be over it'd be one person it's not that's i guess if it's small if it's small enough we could all do it in just a quick clip it's a quick clip of it on the show yeah but if we if you just got a small logo like say i got a b he got a wing right a quick clip. It's a quick clip of it on the show. Yeah, but if you just got a small logo, like say I got a B, he got a wing, he could do that.

It's a little wing. We all get them right here. Yeah, on your face. Like Charles Manson. I think it's good. We should. Cool. Deal. Let's take a little break from chatting about bullshit with each other because UFC 276 is here, man. I'm doing fine. The calf

slicer, baby. That's one of the moves they use in UFC. You know about that? Yeah, dude. I'm doing fine. The calf slicer, baby. That's one of the moves they use in UFC. You know about that? Yeah, dude. How about that hard scarf, daddy? That Peruvian necktie. What about that rattle wrangler, dude? What about that freaking baby beater?

I don't know that one. But listen, UFC 276 is here this Saturday. You can watch it. You can watch, actually, the Fight Companion, 7 p.m. Pacific live on Thick Boy. We've got the crew, Daddy. Watch it with us and you can make some bank with our friends at DraftKings Sportsbook. The official sports betting partner of the UFC. New customers can bet $5

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See show notes for details. Nick Davis is not allowed to bet. This guy's got one. Brendan, Theo, Chris, Eric, good to see you. Hey, it's Sam from up in Washington. Brendan, just saw you in Portland this last weekend. Had a great time wearing thick boy sweatshirt. What up?

So I got a King of the Sting it for you. Spirit Weeks at work. My work occasionally does Spirit Weeks, and today is Western Day. So that's why I got the big foam cowboy hat. Hilarious. Because it is the only piece of Western attire that I own. We're in Portland, so you're good. Anyway, yeah, Spirit Weeks.

King of the Sting, Gang Gang, Buzz Buzz, Soar, and Woo Woo. Nice. That guy is a fucking cartoon character in the 90s on MTV. He's Peter Griffin. He's a little thin for that but yeah um i would say spirit weeks are something that people who have companies that they don't

understand that like like what really actually personality is i hate that shit like i hate it just like just be the people that work at the job a job is not supposed to be fun don't be trying to have fun at the job well you're gonna create morale and like yeah but create morale by creating a line shirt friday no no the last thing i want thick boy monday through friday is casual fucking yeah these guys got fucking flip-flops on i know shorts fire them dude i think i dude yeah you're right for him i think that um I don't do wear suits. The last thing I want is anybody to fucking see any of my outfits that I'm wearing, whether it's morale or not morale building or not is to be like this.

Oh, dude, that is like, that's why I don't really like Halloween. You know, you just, maybe if you're going to dress up as like Batman. Okay. But if like, people are like, you know you know oh they put a fucking like it's like they dress blue and they're holding a chicken with a cord like look i'm chicken cord on blue and people are like oh like dude don't ever oh that's the worst dude yeah i don't i don't dig it either but because my son's in summer camp right now and they have theme days and you know they're sick they're well that's fine if they're sick no No, it's not. Oh, why? Because between four and seven, I think, my son's six.

And like last week was Star Wars day. Yeah. They don't give a flying fuck about Star Wars. Right, right, right, right. So he's like, you know, Yoda had to paint his face green or some shit. Oh, right, right. He's like, who am I? I'm like, you're Yoda.

Yeah. Kids will love it. Also, I want my kid to have a personality organically. Don't make him dress up like fucking Boba Fett, huh? I agree. Yeah. Who's this? Weird toilet. Theo. Brendan. What's up, bud? She's at UAB.

My name is Jordan, and I'm coming to you from the great state of Sweet Home Alabama. Where the king and her steen. Big bitches. I'm not talking about fat bitch Liz. I'm talking about us brutes' hearts. Motherfuckers. How big is she? I'm 5'11", sitting strong at 168

I'm down from 356 pounds What? Oh my god Trying to be like that Uncle George over there That's my king of the scene Big women, tall women Mr. Bond, what's a girl gotta do to get you to climb her like a tree? Who'd you say? Theo.

I've heard people call me people. I don't have people, so you've heard people call me. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Love you guys. Thanks. That's the thing, though. When you're a big girl, you've got personality for days. Yeah.

And now she's all skinny. She's funny, yeah. Probably fun. Whoa, dude. Holy shnikes. That's incredible she did that. Wow, that is cool. Wow holy that's incredible she did that wow that is cool wow um that's incredible wait uh sports illustrated is going we'll take her on the left yeah i know that's hilarious yeah

did did did you know where she was just by seeing the wall behind her logo oh oh i'm like this guy yeah how many gyms you've been in? Just fucking the gym whisperer. Just like, she's at U of A. All right. So, yeah. Big girls. How tall is your girl? Five, seven.

What about yours? Five, five. Yeah, maybe five, six. I mean. Big, like tall. I love tall. I mean, that on the left is a little big, but like. What?

Do you work for Pixar? No, she's got. Hey. I would say she. The girl on the left is not happening. No, but she has a beautiful face is what I'm saying. Not on the left. It's fat.

On the right she does now. It's a little fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at the right. It'd be cool. But I'm saying like. Hey, but be cool. No, but I'm saying like she, that's a little big on the left. It's fat. On the right, she does now. It's a little fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at the right. It'd be cool. But I'm saying like- Hey, but be cool. No, but I'm saying like, that's a little big on the left.

What is that about to say? What is that about to say? He even thought so. You're saying I should say all people are all equally beautiful? That's not true. No, don't say that. Oh, you're saying that she's- No, we know on the left.

We know on the left what's happening. You're saying she's very fat. Yeah, it's not happening. Yeah, but- Yeah. You said she's a little big on the left what's happening. You're saying she's very fat. Yeah, it's not happening. Yeah, but. You said she's a little big on the left. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean.

So you're saying I should say a lot big. Yeah, yeah. I'd appreciate it. But she has a beautiful face though. On the right now. On the left. But the face is in there. Left, you can't see her face.

It's in there. It's also bad lighting. She brought it out. She brought it out on the right. Her face now is behind me. I just, I don't. I'm just saying if she was going to kiss another girl in a Pixar movie, I think that that's beautiful, man.

Big girl. I mean, listen, the girl on the left, not my style, but if, you know, if that's your thing, God bless you. More power to you. Yeah. There's a big girl and like, like big girls are hot. Some big girls are hot. You know what I mean? Yeah.

But that, that's, I don't really know about health and like this whole thing. Oh, I do. Yeah, I don what i mean yeah but that's hot that's i i don't really know about health and like this whole thing the narrative yeah i don't but like that's unhealthy right on the left yeah our cholesterol is through the roof right so that's why i don't celebrate lizzo but i know but people are like people like to pretend with the narrative like oh it's all healthy it's not healthy right yeah yeah yeah so um yeah it looks like to me not only that is somebody that's that big you a little big, right? Yeah. I think like, oh, then it might be bad for living wise.

And I can't be a part of that because I don't want to be eating like that. And if I'm going to have kids with this woman, I don't want them to die early, right? There you go. Now, a tall woman, I love. I dated a 6'1 girl. Too tall. No, fuck it, fuck it dude put on heels be taller than me i'll look up and be like where are we going oh wow yep drive wow you drive i don't give a fuck i'm 6'2 though but like if i was 5'8 might be a little different but like yeah 6'1 dude love

it bro i mean i listen if rihanna was 6'3 i'd put with it. I'm the man when someone's 6'1". If Meg Thee Stallion was 6'2", I'd be fine with it. Fine's fine. I don't really care. But Meg Thee Stallion is a big girl, right? She's not that tall. I don't think she's that tall. Big, right? She's thick.

She's thick with three C's. So that's a big girl. You're saying big girl is tall? Oh, she's 5'10"? She's hot as fuck. I'm in. she's hot i'm in yeah fine fine i really don't care i think she married cunt she's a savage savage oh yeah yeah yeah she married fucking cock yeah she's bad as fuck now britney grinder not my style you know she could be 411 it's not working for me that's yeah but that's not because yeah okay and then russia said we're gonna let we're gonna keep you here for

a little bit what do you mean oh really oh yeah she tried getting to russia and she had uh marijuana in her vape oh and she was cleared because she's playing over there and she had the one of her friends over there was an oligarch well they go to russia and the oligarchs have to flee the fucking country so the oligarchs like hey bitch i have cricket wireless i can't contact you right now right and then she's stuck in the prison out there. The prison? Yeah, she's in Russian prison. Oh, they got to get her back.

You know who we need? Cox Savage. We need Cox Savage. But this shows you that if that was Steph Curry, he'd be back the next day. This shows you what we think of the WNBA. Biden goes, eh, we'll get around to it. If it was Zion Williams, we got him back in hours.

Yeah, well, also, Zion Williams would fucking get out. Out of Russia? He would fucking, you know what I mean? Just dunking on motherfuckers with a basketball. What the fuck is going on?

That is insane. Wow, yeah, he'd be back. Steph Curry would be back on a first-class flight. No, no, he'd be flying private. He'd be back. Steph Curry would be back on a first class flight. Oh no, he'd be flying private. He'd be on the Air Force One 30 minutes later. No, Steph Curry would literally be flying just here, fighting would be like, we'll give you superpowers.

We'll just show you WNBA. They're like, ah, we'll figure it out. I didn't even know she was over there, honestly. Oh yeah. So that's the thing we all forgot. She's still in there. Yeah. No.

There you go. Yeah. Like eating porridge. Yeah. It's a tough gig. Wow. But fine's fine. I don't, i don't care on

height i don't yeah i mean what about the other way though what about the other way like if someone's three five hey brundlin oh like dating a small person yeah or just i don't you know i don't know if they're technically a small person but three five but oh but they look right they don't have like a bigger head or whatever the fuck. Yeah. But the thing is with small people, they have bigger heads, right? Like get your head on a regular body. And then they all, it's impossible. This is science. Yeah.

Look it up. Okay. Every short person has a fat ass. It's just, it's condensed. So it's a thick kind of, even though you're a small person, you're a thick girl. Yeah. Hey, what's up, Brendan? Let's go.

Yeah. I'll drive. I don't like that. Wow. I'm out. I think that's go. Yeah. I'll drive. I don't like that. Wow. I'm out. I think that's racist, bro. Well, I think 310 and seven foot is where I draw the line.

What's the story? I dated a five foot, my girlfriend was five foot once. I've seen some five foot baddies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baddies. Never went, never 411 is, you know.

Hey. But if she was 310, that OnlyFans is popping. Oh, yeah, because people like kink shit. Also, you can't tell how tall somebody is on the fucking internet unless they stand next to somebody. Yeah, but if they know you're small and then her little hands...

They would be like, wow, your fucking pillow's big. What's the deal? Dude, I'm the girl at OnlyFans with all the extra big shit in her room. And then you see her out in public and you're like oh my god hi what's up

it's me from Amazon what up this is Dion coming at you live from San Diego nice I got a debate

club for you guys I'll be there in July homeboy showering in the morning or showering at night in the morning a lot of people just shower in the morning

even after a long day shower night right um so yeah i know what you think chris keep stacking those racks all the way up to the sky yes it tickles god's feet there we go yep gang gang buzz buzz sore Buzz, buzz, soar. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. That's right, Eric. I can sing too. See me at a singing contest and then see me in a foot race. Oh. Wow, Jay-Z. Kind of insecure, right?

I was going to say, Jay-Z. All right, so listen. Talented gentleman. Yeah. So he said, what did he say? Yeah, what did he say? What did he say? I'm going to shower in the morning right now. Oh, morning. Morning. That's how you're going to start? Yeah. What did he say? What did he say? I shower in the morning.

Oh, morning. Morning. You gotta start your day like that. Yeah. It's weird to have sleep on you throughout the day. My girl, you know, chicks do it. Like my girl does it. She'll like wake up.

Sometimes she'll shower at night before she goes out. So strange. Yeah. They like being in their PJs and shit, you know, not me, bro. I shower in the morning. So your, your morning is still night for me though, because it's five o'clock in the morning. So you wake, your morning is still night for me though. Yeah. Because it's five o'clock in the morning. Yeah. So.

You wake up, daddy wakes up about noon. Yeah. What are you talking about? I think that showering in the morning is the way to go. I mean, clearly. Yeah. I'm American. Start your day, dude.

I'm American. Yeah. Start your day like that. But also. A cold shower is the nice way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no.

Why would you do that? Because it feels good. Wakes you up. I don't want you to say that anymore. Dude, I'm going to tell you again, life's a garden. I know. Dig it, daddy. But here's the thing.

It's so interesting that you said that you were going to be in San Diego coming up. Cause I'm going to be in Denver coming up at the Belco and you can go to crystalia.com and I'm going to be in Albany actually. And I'm going to also be in fucking Boston, Massachusetts and Washington DC. Yep. Two shows at the Wang and then Washington DC and then Atlanta and Savannah, Georgia

and Peoria. That's too many dates though, yeah. And Raleigh. So it's crazy though that you said that because I'm also going to be in different places. Go to chrislea.com.

Well, not only did I say I'm going to be in San Diego in July, but I'm also July 14th or 16th Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh wow, that's crazy. Fort Wayne, Indiana. Never been there.

Then the next week, your boy, what is it? The fucking 19th through 21st is in san diego laugh factor downtown and then it goes baltimore then we're in boston and then appleton wisconsin i'm all over daddy i like you though well what about the fact that i'm going to be in dallas coming up would you go to chrisley.com for that yeah you would but you wouldn't you said downtown not downtown and it kind of like it's like say downtown speaking of your indiana show what's up cats hyphen w first off no don'ts nice uh i got a

debate club for you uh i live in fort wayne indiana oh nice and i'm in your fort wayne show oh cool appreciate you coming out you should get get Chris and Theo and Brian to come out. One day. But if Brian comes, I have to get a smaller venue. He ain't selling up. No, no, no. But anyway, guys, at Big Club, me and my girl want to be the generation that moves out of Indiana.

But we don't know if we should do it when we're young or we should do it when the parents pass on. We don't know. Good question. We're not thinking about any kids. And if we do have one, is it better to have the kid in Indiana? He's all, King, you're seeing it. Killing your parents.

Or would he just like pop out of that nice place? Let me know what you guys think. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, and soar. Nice. I like the guy. Woo, woo, woo. I think that you got to just fucking go, bro. You got to go.

Don't wait until you're older. You're never going to go. Soar, bro. Soar. Dude, I't wait until you're older. You're never going to go. Soar, bro. Soar. Dude, I'm going to tell you something that my dad told me. Life's a garden. Dig it. No, dude.

And you got to relocate. Get out of Fort Wayne, Indiana. Come on over to the sunny side. Your taxes here are going to be a little high. It's a little hot weather. Well, California might not be. You might not have to go to California, but you can go to fucking other places that are not Fort Wayne, Indiana. No offense. You know, but the can go to fucking other places that are not Fort Wayne, Indiana, no offense.

Moze on down to Texas. The bottom line is he wants to leave, right? 100%. Don't wait for your parents. Don't wait to have it. The second you have kids, it's going to be harder. Way harder. Yeah, dude.

I'm fucking smart. No, go now, dude. Yeah, go now. Actually, go today. As you're listening to this, stop it right now. Pack all your shit up and don't tell your parents. And drive away. Don't even pack. Tell no up and don't tell your parents. Honestly, don't even pack. Tell no one. Don't tell your

wife. Leave. Yes. Yeah, ditch the girl. Go to Brendan's house. Yes. Well. You said yes. Yep. Do we want to do a quick Indiana-related name game? Sure. Since the judge. What do you mean? You guys just go back and forth naming things related to Indiana. Bro, I know zero things.

Hoosiers. That's it. I wouldn't judge that zero things hoosiers okay uh johnny appleseed in uh indy nascar indy 500 um hoosiers larry bird indiana pacers fuck yeah kkk you would say oh murder murder a lot of murder that's gary indiana yeah still still wait is pacers there yeah fuck yeah dude fort fort wayne fort wayne larry bird uh a guy with a doesn't make a dent shirt with a fucking cuban link chain who wants you i think there's a tie dude it's a johnny applesy yeah you did say uh indy 500 which is a fucking – I missed that, which is idiotic. So you win. Thank you. He died in Fort Wayne.

This guy? Johnny Appleseed. Oh. No, Johnny Appleseed. How sad. He's never going to leave. Johnny Appleseed died there, yeah. Jing it or sting it, getting buried in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

All right. We got a couple more. Okay, cool. Sounds good. Rick Glassman. What's up, King St sting and the wing and the sing hook my boy eric up with the with some shit bro wow but anyways he got his logo debate club sick boy bike club and also i'm a patreon subscriber so just give me on either one please nice anyways

hold up chin and neck too anyways road cycling does that count as leg day for the bros? Yes. Or not? We still gotta hit heavy squats and shit. No. Let me know what y'all think. Gang gang, buzz buzz, sore, woo woo woo woo, or some shit like that. I mean, just guys run over. No.

Oh my god. I mean, how fit do you want to be, bro? Cycling is great. That's what daddy does here. But here's the thing about road cycling. I mean, how fit do you want to be, bro? Cycling is great. That's what daddy does here. But here's the thing about road cycling. I used to go down to Pang and Canyon. Threw up in your mouth, but yes. Yep, I just threw up in my mouth because there's too much nicotine and caffeine and alcohol. Yeah.

And I'm off three hours of sleep. But the thing is, is I used to take my road bike down to Pang and Canyon. And there's no road, so you're sharing the road with the cars. And I would see this guy going up and down all the time and i didn't see him like that's weird and i get to the bottom there's usually like crew hanging at the bottom like about to go back up and i go uh usually rodney rodney's out right when you say go oh you didn't hear i go no like he got hit last week man died oh fuck bro and they go he's the fourth one this year and i went oh really and i've never done it again oh so it's very rare i go on

the road now now usually i convert the tires so i can go on the the dirt now oh because and then you don't you remember sean bradley the football the basketball player played for the uh dallas you definitely don't know but nick well yeah he got hit on his bike he's paralyzed now recently cycling yeah yeah people die all the time it's so dangerous so i stopped doing it because i had kids i can't fucking paralyze you know yeah oh man that's sad yeah no cycling is very dangerous yeah really i didn't know that i mean i guess i wouldn't people are taxing and shit and no one shares the road with bikes you know yeah yeah i'll tell you one thing though people are texting you know listen fellas if you're on the road out there and you wear all those tights and you got like

sponsors on your back, dude, and you're with your boys and you get together every Sunday morning to escape the family, unless you're sponsored by fucking US Postal Service like Lance Armstrong, don't dress like that, right? I dress like a hype beast. Yeah. I got baggy shorts on.

I got a baggy shirt on. I look pretty fly in that box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't wear the tights. No, no, no. I do.s no no i do i keep it real oh really yeah that's good yeah yeah yeah and they know you get off your bike you go in a coffee shop no one has any idea that you were on a bike except my shoes clink like i'm a fucking horse right but you got to wear those to do that well i take them off now i'm barefoot wow yeah oh wow okay well i didn't realize you were so fucking awesome well thanks man you are though yeah thank thank you Someone said to the cats in the wild

They saw Eric on his honeymoon That is There is nothing Cooler than that That is I thought you were cool Bro that is the utter shit Yeah I gave you

That is With the dad jeans and fucking shoes? How many times did it bounce up and hit his fucking tooth, too? But I love that he picked the music. Clearly, he picked the music. That song is so dope, dude. Is that the Streets of Rage soundtrack? That is so fucking ill.

Look at all these people running me every day. That's the song that Cock Savage fucks, too. Yes. No, that's the song Cock Savage gives his dick Sucked by the other guys Oh nice dude gay cop That is the illest video I've ever seen in my life And then someone has a Cats in the wild

What Theo's been doing in his time LARPing? Oh that's Theo They're all Theo right? One of them is definitely Theo but they could all be Well this is Theo's family. This way he's having problems. Whoa. I'm a warrior.

I'm a warrior. Earth warrior. Earth warrior. Go left. Oh, my God. There he is. Hey, sometimes I hate white people. Yeah.

What's up with Earth warrior, though? You could just say warrior. But just warrior but just warrior earth warrior no we're on planet earth i know but that's why it's redundant we're all on earth look at that guy wow that face is so and that makes me mad dude i wish he was in apocalypto he's just the white warrior yeah uh he's what the fuck is uh oh that's that account can't see this or what it is can't wait is that real nick that real Nick? Or is that like a. No, that's real. Parody. That guy is really doing this? Those accounts.

That account's awesome. Cat. Catatonic youths. That guy is so funny. Dude, do you know how big of a freak that girl is with the face that is? I mean, you can see it right there. Yeah. She's an earth warrior though.

So. Earth warrior. Wow. That is unreal. This account is hilarious. They play some really gangster shit. That's. Earth warrior.

I love how spaced out they were too. That's hilarious. Guys just get together. They even, they don't like each other. Or it was during COVID when they filmed that. So they're socially distanced earth warrior. Six feet apart, earth warriors. Earth warrior, socially distanced earth warrior.

Yeah. One more. Earth warrior. Or maybe two. Oh, is that a snaky? Tapeworm? Is that a lizard? What is that?

It's a leaf. What up, Kat's family? I was, first of all, I just acknowledge that I am the creepy one because I'm on my roof looking at my neighbor's house. But I'm just up here cleaning my gutters and notice something. Is that code for masturbating? Real great.

My neighbors have a backyard pride flag. What is that? They support, but they don't want anyone to know. It's hilarious. Are you proud or aren't you you proud or what dude let me know king and her sting it that literally flag was because he obviously is against gays and that flag's just for him because they know he cleans out his gutters they're like we want you to know motherfucker yeah and he's he's trying not to get canceled

how about this shit this is cool right that's hilarious a backyard flag is so well they're probably the people that live there gay yeah yeah yeah i mean well no i don't know maybe not probably though right i guess if it's in the backyard yeah yeah or they had like a party for pride week oh yeah and they had their gay friends over like goodbye flag bro that's Bro, that's hilarious. Put it in the front. Put the flag in the front if you support it. I mean, the husband's like, let's not get carried away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we can put it in a, we can put it underground. It's more for them though, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll put it in the back. They put it in the back. So yeah, dude, that's, that is really funny

and good, good observation, sir. And. Good luck with the gutters, my man. You're a peeping Tom. So, okay. Theo, this is Theo. His hat's crooked. Nick, I had to do a quick king and a stinging for you.

So, that's my Subaru. Fuck yeah. Bought that for $1,000. Nice. Great deal. Here's my Dodge. I've had that for a couple of years. That was $2,000.

So, quick king and a stinging, bro. So, quick thing in our skin, bro. Driving beaters. Three grand, two cars. Makes it through. What do you guys think? Let me know. Thanks, bro. Dude, in the current climate, you could flip those cars and make money.

This guy's rich, bro. This guy's balling. This guy's invested in fucking cars that you can transport shit in. Yeah, but also that truck that he bought, what did he say, $1,000? Two grand. It must have 500 million miles on it. Yeah, because that's not a bad truck. No, not at all.

It's a little beat up, but $2,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy's obviously a worker. Bro, that's good. You got two cars, life's good, bro. Dude, you're balling, dude. This guy's balling. And three grand total?

Forget it. One breaks down down you got the other one you know i'm saying also subaru outback's kind of ill i like that oh really i hate them yeah unless you're a trans and i don't really dig it if you get the fucking uh knobby wheels like the bigger thick wheels it looks fucking kind of dope i think really yeah kind of that well they're not for me but i think that they're nice to look at when i see the new buzz light years in your super outback i don't know man i wanted to take calvin maybe i maybe i will and maybe like when that happens i don't i don't think it's wrong but

maybe just to slight disney i'll be like hey popcorn when that happens i don't want disney get my money yeah i don't like them anymore because of what just in general just in general yeah i don't like them anymore you think that walk disney's a nazi yeah yeah yeah i don't like what what they're doing with the parks overcrowded now it's a beast dude i don't like that they didn't have tim allen as buzz so i looked into that so that's because he's young right well that that's that's because they want a young one but here's the thing tim Tim Allen didn't get canceled because of his political beliefs because Tim Allen has a series for Santa Claus series

on Disney Plus, so he's still on Disney. Oh, they were saying because he's, what, Republican or some shit? Is he a Trump? Yeah. Is he outspoken? Pretty outspoken. Oh, really? He's Tim the Tool Man. I mean, I know. I don't give a fuck if he likes Trump or not, but I'm just saying I know the public and the fucking media would be like no and so but he didn't get canceled

because he's on disney yeah all right disney didn't cancel they were pissed at chris evans the voice but who who was pissed every fans got it okay name somebody but chris evans is the new fucking he's captain tim allen well he's not though but he is though when it comes to whiteness when it comes to middle america no not at all who how it chris pratt oh i meant chris evans is more like a soy i meant chris pratt who's the new voice of lightyear chris evans oh i thought it was captain america no chris pratt's great chris chris evans yeah oh i meant different animal right i i thought we were talking about chris pratt i totally agree Oh, I thought it was Chris Pratt. No, Chris Pratt's great. Chris Evans. Yeah. Oh, I meant Chris Pratt. Different animal, right? I thought we were talking about Chris Pratt.

I totally agree. Chris Evans is a woke boy, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. All right. Totally. Be cool, man.

I messed up. Yeah, severely. Strike it from the record. Stricken. We should do one more. Okay, cool. That's Brendan. What's up, Brendan?

What's up, Theo? What's up, Eric? What's up, Chris? Well, maybe some kind? What's up, Eric? What's up, Chris? Well, maybe some kind of fucking variation of the four of y'all. Nice. Fair point. Fair point. I got a king it, a sting probably going to see this, but I'm just wondering. You fucking around in somebody else's hot bath water? Hell yeah. Oh, dude. I don't want to get shot. No, I don't want to get shot, bro. And drinking,

bro? What if he's going to die in there? Dude, I would... Oh, that would make me nervous as shit. I'd be pissing all in the pool. It's the middle of Tuesday. If anyone didn't have a job, it's that guy right there in that image. Dude, that's... He has a sugar mama. I'm sure that the anyone didn't have a job It's that guy right there In that image Dude that's He has a sugar mama

I'm sure that the neighbors Don't give a fuck But still don't abuse The privilege right If you abuse the privilege No abuse it Because here's the thing Let them deal with

All the maintenance All that shit And you're just gonna Jump on in there With your big ass And he looks like He's gonna cannonball Right in that thing

I mean this guy is Literally Randy Quaid In fucking the vacation movie Yeah You know what I mean Like not even using His fucking pool That's amazing bro I love this guy Yes it guy yes i'd probably love him for like five minutes

and then be like wow this guy's annoying well if it's your pool and you come home he's always in there yeah that's the thing what are you doing yeah my rule would be a bro just don't be in the pool when i get back oh i would say you can only go in these hours uh-huh yeah yeah if daddy's even close i don't want you in my fucking pool. Right, right, right, right, right. And don't post fucking stories on it either. No, and don't submit a video to a popular podcast. Yeah, exactly.

In our pool, bragging how you're using our pool. Yeah, I don't want those bitches at Cats Plus knowing about this. Yes. Yep. It looks like he actually ended up getting in a fight poolside later. No, this isn't him. Oh, I was like, oh, shit. Oh, wow, what's this? It looks exactly like actually ended up getting in a fight poolside later. No, this isn't him. Oh, I was like, oh, shit. Oh, wow, what's this?

It looks exactly like him. Let's watch this. And they have fireball poolside. At least these guys are in shape. Oh. This is the slowest. Oh, and they're wet. Yeah, they can't do that.

They're wet. Start on the ground. Oh, shit. Oh. Oh, the old man can't fight. They're both hammered. Oh, man. You better stop. You came after me both hammered. You better stop.

You came after me, you ****. You came after me, you cock savage. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, he's going for a single leg. I've been there. Oh, he got him down. Very Randy Couture.

Oh, he's about to serve him. Oh, Jeff Dunn. He Dunn. Listen to the people. This apartment complex is lit. Ooh, bulldog choke. Oh, he gets his back, big boy. Every time you do that, head and arm pull down.

Is that guy speaking Spanish? No, yeah, he's saying be back up. Be back up. Wow. I hate fights, bro. I hate seeing that shit. Oh, I can't get enough. I watch Worldstar. Really? Every morning I wake up to Worldstar. Beautiful. Every morning. wow i hate fights bro it's a dad seeing that shit oh i can't enough i watch world star really

every morning i wake up the world star you're a fuck every morning first thing i go to that's horrible oh the shit on there's insane i can't watch that shit i can't watch that i like the one says uh guy gets caught slipping by the ops and you know somebody getting shot or dying i can't watch that this other guy just on the corner of New York gets out. The dude's on the phone. Just nonchalant. Some fat black dude gets out. Shotgun. You hear him talking to him?

Hits him in the face with a bloody gun and boom, right in the face. And this is just something you watch? 6.30 a.m., daddy. Bro, what the fuck? Your kids are all, bye, kids. World star, dude. Yeah. Why did he do the hit first if he's

gonna disrespect disrespect before killing oh that happened today yeah i send it to me i gotta like i have to see it through i was gonna ask you don't like it but when you scroll past do you watch or do you well if i don't know what's gonna happen i might but if i knew that that was gonna happen i would not watch it yeah no no no but i don't follow those accounts that i there is even if we're getting real dark there's a worse one there this guy in india proposed his girl and she told him no he went cool story and then she was walking back to her apartment he pulled up on his motorcycle third world country, and then took a knife. And then, yeah, she's not with us anymore.

Yeah, it's dark. When was this? Send it to me. It's so dark. Send it to me. I liked Faces of Death when I was a kid. Well, I didn't really like it, dude. I saw it.

It was very scary. You know it's fake, though. A lot of it's fake. Is it? I don't know. I don't know. That's what I heard. It sounds like me's fake. Is it? I don't know. I don't know. That's what I heard. It sounds like maybe you're talking about and you don't know.

But world stars, I mean, as legit as it gets. Don't ever fucking say that. As legit as it gets. Oh man, that makes me sad that people kill each other and shit. Yeah. On that note. It's kind of like the news you watch, but unfiltered. I know. You know, dude.

You know when like seven people are shot and they just have some stupid report recapping what you just heard? I'd rather know that. I like to see the real shit. No, dude. Bro, that's bad for you. I think this would be a lighter note to go out on. Okay. Another Theo.

Same nose. Wow. What up, boys? Coolest guy in Iowa. Back at it. The old longboarder oh that's right appreciate making it on a I make this one quicker than the last one oh also shout out to Eric Griffin dude since I submitted that video I became a huge fucking Eric Griffin fan definitely not making it short like you said it

fucking let's hear your King as of Latin right now in life, what is the thing that you king? What is the thing that you sting? What is the thing that you wing? You know, you're kind of getting into. And what's your sing, dude? What's your favorite song right now? Cool. That's a good one.

Yeah. So the one thing in life you king? My son. Nice. And sting? World star, Nice. And Sting? World star, dude. Getting fucking shot in the face. That's my Sting.

Well, but you want me to send it to you, so it's also a king, you know? No, it's a Sting. I need to make sure it's a Sting. Okay. Send it to me. I'll send it to you. And what was that one? And Wing.

What's the Wing? Jesus Christ. That's what you're into? Supercult. That's new, isn't it? Supercult, my new fucking, yeah. What's Supercult? It's my YouTube, my channel. Icult, my new fucking, yeah. What's Supercult? It's my YouTube, my channel.

I changed it over because I got the fucking Lifeline show on it too. It's not just Chris D'Elia YouTube. Oh, it's just. It's Supercult. Oh, cool. So because I got Lifeline and congratulations. So going over. Oh, that's the merch for Supercult.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So go over and fucking subscribe to that. Yeah. You know what I mean? On my YouTube page, Supercult. That's a good one. Wing it. And sing, bro.

I don't like music. No music. No. Dude, I do like that one fucking David Gray song, though, that goes, Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Babylon.

It's such an old song. So sing that one. In my head. Yeah. Or I like that fuel song that goes any song about with head you don't know new music though huh the new drake i haven't heard it i haven't heard it heard it's fucking pussy boy shit though uh it's very housey vibe. It's not his best.

The song with 21 Savage is great on there. That's about it. 21 Savage is not good. I agree. Yeah, he's very. Very bad. His little cat way is not great. That's coming from him, guys. And everyone knows it deep down.

Yeah, he knows it. King, well, you said your son. I mean, I'd say my kids do. You got it, man. You're a dad. What the fuck? Is his name Drake? No, Drake is King.

Drake's good. Drake's my king. I love Drake. I'm a fan. The new album. What the fuck? Is it Drake? No. Drake is king. Drake's good. Drake's my king. I love Drake. I'm a fan. The new album? Oh, fuck. I got to listen to it on the way home. Yeah.

It's no fuel, though. Leave you in my heart. And then Wing. Oh, I'm... Oh, no. You haven't said anything yet. Oh, Wing would be Bucket Hats. I'm getting the Bucket, or no, no. You haven't said anything yet. Wing would be bucket hats.

I'm getting a bucket hat. Bro, that's my sting. That's my sting. Bro, if you fucking show up in a bucket hat, I'm never doing another Brendan Schaubin Friends show ever again. Next week, I'm showing up in a Supreme. Fuck off. No, I won the raffle. I get Supreme bucket hat.

You're a fucking asshole. Yeah. I won the raffle. It's the worst thing to say after that Dude King Worldstar listen my morning, dude. I wake up. I'm on Worldstar watch people get shot in the face I get an alert new supreme drop rush over to the store. I'm watching Worldstar. I'm listening to rap in the back, right? I go to supreme. I want a bucket hat Life is great King it

All your whole life is a king, bro. Oh, and then for the sing it, I'm going to play a sample of Brow's new song. We'll get flagged, no? I got Brow's new song on here. We'll get flagged or no? No. We own him. All right, all right.

I got you. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.

Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo. Leo.. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music. I can't listen to music Have you heard this, Jim? Mm-mm. Wait, it's Arizona? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Makes me want to cry all day. I can't listen to music. Dead behind the eyes. I know. Dead behind the eyes I know Dead behind the eyes This does nothing for you?

Makes me emotional That's why I don't like to listen Why? I don't know I like to feel how I'm feeling already And I feel like when I listen to that All the walls come down And I just want to fucking cry

Fucking cry dude Oh man Sing it That's Austin awake He knew you were sensitive I know He's trying to go to you This is a good time song I got so many problems

You ain't about to cry You think about that Worldstar video That's so sad bro I'm like this Seven coffee of the day World star video? That's so sad, bro. I'm like this. Seven coffees a day. Yeah. I drink seven coffees a day, too, but I'm like this.

I'm telling you. I drink my seventh coffee like this. And I'll drink it like that in Dallas coming up at Grand Prairie. Dude, he's back. The music goes off and he's firing, dude. Go see Emo Chris. Oh, my dream. Emo comedy, dude.

Oh, God. Go see Chris Dallas, Grand Prairie, whatever the fuck it's called. You said nothing. We have no idea where you're at. It's in Grand Dallas area. Go see Chris Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in Texas. Wichita, Kansas. That's where the BTK killer is from. Atlanta, Georgia. Lots of crime there. Washington, D.com. Go see Chris. Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Texas. Wichita, Kansas. That's where the BTK killer's from.

Atlanta, Georgia. Lots of crime there. Washington, D.C. Political crime. Stockton, California. Oakland, California. You know where the fuck that is, dude. It's the fucking murder tour, baby.

Yeah. Peoria, Illinois. Rockford, Illinois. That's near Chicago. You know it's bad there, dude. Oh, you're on the defund the police tour. Raleigh, North Carolina. That's where the fucking guy pushed that woman down the stairs.

That's where the staircase is. And then we go to Savannah, Georgia. It's actually very nice. Also a lot of first 48s are filmed there.

There we go. Keeping up murder story. But then Denver, Colorado, November 5th. I'm from there. And it's nice,

right? It's all right. It's nice. Yeah, it's nice. It's got nice, you know, Cheyenne, Wyoming. Cheyenne, Wyoming.

You ever been there? No. Never been there? No. Doing that in November 6th. Boston, November 12th albany november 13th that's a new one lakeland florida lots of incestual crime and uh jacksonville

florida lots of incestual crime so december 2nd and december 3rd chrisley.com tickets ah god that's a lot of dates i will be in fort wayne indiana i think it's july 14th or 16th the week after i am in uh san San Diego at the Laugh Factory, downtown, heart of San Diego, Laugh Factory, San Diego. And then I am in Baltimore, first week of August. A lot of crime there. A lot of crime there. I'm in Baltimore.

I'm in Baltimore. Fourth and sixth. And I'm in Boston at the end of September, August 1st. Irish crime. Appleton too? Oh, Appleton. No crime there. There you go, kids. Tickets at thickboy.com. Hell yeah Irish crime. Appleton too? Oh, Appleton. September 8th. No crime there. There you go, kids.

Tickets at thickboy.com. Hell yeah, dude. Is that it? Thanks, guys. Yeah. Fort Wayne, Indiana. See you soon. Love you guys.

King it. Thanks, Cock Savage. World star. It's the king in the sting. Back up in the sting. I just got a call that said they want to have the wing. They got me working OT all night long How many times I gotta make this song?

Ay, hold on, what is this? Now y'all wanna switch? Y'all just added Stevie and Eric And now y'all adding Chris? How's that gonna fit? Wait, I get the gist I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting

It's the wing and the king and the sting Hold on, hold on Hold on, wait a minute, let me think It's the wing and the king and the sting. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, wait a minute, let me think. It's the king and the sting and the wing. Let's go. King and the sting and the wing. Got it full circle and put on the whole team. Legendary trio, Britney, Chris, and Theo, what you mean?

You know it's the king and the sting and the wing.