The Golden Hour - Episode 185: Oops! Live

Episode Date: July 22, 2022

The guys talk Callen's Cameo, getting rented, what their price is for an appearance, intruders vs ghosts, all new Dating Advice for someone who wants to hook up with his friend's ex, a Theo dating game, who would likely do the best on Dancing With The Stars, cell phone etiquette in public, couples arguing in public, being mistaken for other celebrities and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

But if you're apologetic about anything you're wearing, then immediately everybody feels like. The public can sense it. Yes. It's just like on stage. You gotta have some swagger. Yeah. If you got swag, do your thing. Thank you.

Yeah. That's where I was going. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I appreciate it. You know, I take some fashion risks. Chris, watch that high forehead.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I... You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one.

You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Sure. Brendan, I got to tell you, this is brought specifically for you. You go to ChrisLeah.com, get one of these, never be interrupted again.

You think this will stop me, daddy? I've been podcasting for 10 years. Oops. Oops. Did you guys say something? You know what? It worked. Oh, it worked.

Oh, it worked. You know what? It worked. Oh, it worked. Oh, it worked. Dude, if I was a boss with a legit business, do you know how awesome I would like to have this and have people come in and be like, I got to talk to you, and then they fucking... and just hit that shit?

You know what my problem is? That's so unprofessional, and I love it. You know what the problem is? It's not loud enough. It's loud enough, dude. What do you want it to be, a fucking megaphone? They think if everyone's talking, and then I go... They go... What happened? Did you fart? loud enough, dude. What do you want it to be? A fucking megaphone? They think if everyone's talking and then I go, they go,

what happened? Did you fart? Well, you don't want to be fucking completely like. No, you want to. Well, you got to get the one that hooks up to the Bluetooth speakers. Yeah. Okay, cool. Next version. I'll come out with a software update. Oh, you know what'd be dope is they just hire you for corporate gigs and there's like a meeting

and then you come in because they have. And I do it. And you just come and go. you can absolutely hire me how much for for what for what what's the plan so what's the what's the job get delia yeah so he's having his corporate meeting yeah tuesday afternoon i'm gonna fly out or i don't know yeah you have to fly out to the corporate office you gotta fly to like new york six hour flight You're going to be there at least a night. And they put me up. Yeah. Okay.

You're in a nice hotel. Okay. But during the meet, so they're having like a long five hour meet. And you have to. Wait. Wait. You're just. You're standing in the corner.

And the guy has the button. And anytime he just goes like this. And then you have to step forward and go. Okay, okay, okay. Wait, hold on a second. Okay, so hold on. So hold on. All right.

So the job is, and the meeting is like an hour or two or whatever. You'll be there for. No, there's an intermission. There's a lunch break. They're going to feed you. You're there. Plan on two hours of your time. Okay, okay, okay.

But all you say is oops. Right, I understand. So, okay okay so but all you say is oops right i understand so okay so to hire me to come out to do that for the day in new york in new york so well i i gotta say all right so the first the first time you hire me you get a discount because this is going to be a great story okay i want to do your film crew can come yeah i want to do it Your film crew can come Yeah I want to do it Okay So So So you can get me for Less than the stand up rate Okay

Like I will come out And do that for your Job What are we thinking Like five million No I would do it

And fly to New York To do that Yeah What a story On a Tuesday You have sets Wednesday night No no But here's the thing, though. What, what, what?

Here's the thing. Here's the thing about it. This is similar to, like, some sheikh in Saudi Arabia. Right, right, right. Who's like, he's like, you know, he's a huge fan of yours. Yeah. He's like, but he wants you to come to do a house party. Yeah.

Can you come do comedy in front of, like, seven of my friends, right? Yeah. And it's like, it's just a power play on this guy's part. of course to tell his brother he's like oh you know that guy with a comment guess what and he goes like this and then a curtain opens it's exactly like they do no that's what they do that's how they flex on their friends i know but they're like how much you know what i mean yeah because there's a part of you that is like oh you you feel like you know what is this oh yeah it's like when you i don is like, you feel like, you know, what is this? Oh, yeah.

It's like when you, I don't know if you guys ever watch, but MTV had that show Sweet 16. And it's just like rich people treating their kids like monsters. Like a million dollar party. But it'd be like, these people got money to be like, here, Nicki Minaj. No, you know who was on there all the time? It was like, Ne-Yo. Like, Ne-Yo. That's what I'm saying.

I was like, man, Ne-Yo's pretty free. He was in four of them. Well, he did four. Well, in America, yeah, but he's big overseas. No, this is in America. So he was at all the 60s parties. So what is like the oops rate? Because it's not even about the money. It's not even about the money. It's like, what's the, like the oops rate? Because it's not even about like the money.

It's not even about the money. It's like, what are you willing to do? Because literally, you know, you're basically, you're standing in a corner. I'm hooking. Yeah. Yeah. You're standing in a corner. You're selling yourself.

I'm basically a hot chick going on a yacht. Bro, bro, I went to. Oh, you're like a ring girl. Oh, wow. Amazing. That ring girl. Yeah, yeah. I come out, oops.

In a thong. Yeah. Well, no, I wouldn't do that. But I would wear my shit. Yeah. No, I'm not wearing a thong. I mean, well, the price for. Oops. In a thong? Yeah. Well, no, I wouldn't do that, but I would wear my shit. Yeah. No, I'm not wearing a thong. I mean, well, the price for that goes way up. Thong? You can sell merch out the back.

Get your hoops merch. No, I was at a birthday party, and there was legit, legit, I'm not going to say who it is. It's in baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most famous musician, I'm sorry, magic dude. Figure out the words. Magic dude.

Yeah, I'm sorry. My brain was like. Musician and magician are unfairly close, I will say. So he's a magician. The most famous one you know. We all know who he is. All right, cool. He's there at a five-year-old's birthday party that they had a chocolate fountain that was

made out of their kid. They took a mold. Wow. Fountain, fountain, fountain. See all these parents? I'm like, this is some wild shit, dude. And he made it disappear? Dude, no, I look over.

I see the famous magic dude. Yeah. I go up. the fuck you're doing dude they're paying for an hour of their time told me how much and i was like nobody knows who you are you easy gig ever dude you want to see a trick fuck it yeah i felt bad for him yeah he's like don't feel bad man see he's a good guy god he's out there that's the part about it that what he's saying he's in the hot sun though and to me i was like oh it's a bummer yeah but he's like it's not like what like there's people that have dumb money right like there's there's money like they're people all right they get like tears people that could be like i want you to get taylor swift to come to and she's like really rich but there it has to be a number like your agent calls you and goes dude this is degrading and terrible but they want to give you 2.5 million dollars yeah for like three hours of

your time but those those like cheeks and stuff they'll fly out like famous porn girls and instagram girls and give them all the cash well they don't know i think they're they're trying to get like probably lowball them no but i mean no yeah they're getting like megan fox and like you know these are the people they're getting yeah yeah that's the real like is that hallie berry like we got it for two days they're quick they're quick who's quick cameo live oops 80 g you did that that's hilarious 80 grand i would do it for sure. But here's the deal. So stupid. I would say that for me to show up in America, I would do it for 30.

I would do it for 30. Overseas. Really? That's a good deal. Bro, for the first time, it's hilarious. Okay. And the content. The rate, though, for me to do it a second and third time. I don't think that's enough money. It would have to be more than 30. No, but 30 to do it a second and third time. I don't think that's enough money.

It would have to be more than 30. No, but 30. Don't say the first time. I don't think it's enough money. No, see. No, it would be hilarious. It's like, you know. It's an investment, Eric, because they're going to see that, and his team's going to

shoot it, and they're in suits, and it's going to be hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it goes fucking viral. I would do the first one for 30, because, dude, I go to New York. I make 30K. I fucking chill for a day and come back, and get this footage and I fucking talk about my pocket be hilarious And you spend all your money You're spinning it

But there's that two-hour moment where you're standing in a room and just rich people are doing their thing like a tiger I mean they're going like that first time somebody goes like this And they just they just look over at you the whole room looks over at you and you have to be on you gotta dance dance I don't really have a problem with the fucking

you know here we I just oops and look him in the eyes I don't give a shit it's hilarious you know what the best part is

the first one's gonna be fun right oops and then you end and you're like and then you go in the corner and then he hits it like 10 times

and they're all alright and then the audience the dudes in the corner and then he hits it like 10 times. And they're all, all right, dude. And then the dudes in the suits are like, we get it, Jake. How long is he here? Two hours. A rich father hires you for a sweet 16 party. Yeah. And their little bratty 16-year-old daughter, she has it. No, no, no.

I would not do that for 30K. And you have to walk around the 16. You have to follow her. And anytime one of her friends are like cindy and she goes like this and you have to walk in and go that 30k is way low no no it shocks you every time you hit you go we're talking about like you want me to do it for like an applebee's fucking or an ibm or like a big time big time company whatever company company- Like Microsoft. Microsoft, bro. I do it for less.

I do it for less. I do it for less. But you got a fucking birthday party? That's got to be way more. Yeah, birthday party. I don't see- But that happens. They have people come for like kids' birthday parties and they'll be like, John Mayer, come

on out. Oh, for sure. And he's there for like 500,000. No, someone hired Maroon 5 for like a wedding. Well, they're paying them a shitload because there are five of them. So they got all made money. Eric, just a bit of a lot of ideas here. How much money would it cost for you to jump out of a 10-year-old's cake?

Birthday party cake, you got to pop out. First of all, I don't know why they would have me do that. The parents are huge fans. But do like a real one. Do like a real one. For you to show up wearing the workaholics and the montes and you got to be like hey how much for a birthday party and they rent you for three hours because here's the thing that's that's a lot

what if i had to do this all the time at least you get to practice you get good at singing but like but the thing about the oops thing the thing about the oops thing is for me I don't feel like oh man for me I was like

that's hilarious that's hilarious but the Montez thing that's work that's work first of all it's been off the air on Cameo

it's always they were like hey can you yeah yeah but you do yeah but those add up quick like I'm on Cameo and you drop your price

and you're like I wouldn't do this but bro after the month you're like oh shit alright fuck it I'm doing nothingo, and you drop your price, and you're like, I wouldn't do this. But, bro, after the month, you're like, oh, shit, all right, fuck it. Really? I'm doing nothing. Really? I've never done it.

I know, bro. You make some money. I'm embarrassed of you guys, you know? I'm not embarrassed. You used to be. No, I was embarrassed because I thought that, dude, like, Brian Kelly was on there for, like, $65. No, Brian will talk you for an hour for $15.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know. Brian will give you for an hour for 15 yeah i know i know i know brian will give you a history lesson for 10 but i i realize that now i could you could always do these social media things like every social media is corny dude every social media is corny remember when instagram first started i was like what dude vine well vine is corny but tiktok remember we were like what is this shit and now we're like all right you got to be on tiktok dude everything's corny so all you got to do is figure out how to do it yourself and how to make it yours like dude i go on there i'm on camera i talk shit to these people i'm like fuck these motherfuckers they know and they know what they want and that's what they want and so i don't really here's the thing i i was actually

i was at someone rented me when i was a ufc fighter someone rented me for two eight-year-olds birthday party and it was the indian reservation they sent me a limo right no they don't give me any info at the time i had no money fighting the uc they gave me ten thousand dollars wow they give me a limo they drive me like three hours in the sticks on some native american ranch and it's these huge houses dope ass houses right i walk in it's like a scene out of training day there's all these in native americans in wife beaters tattoos head to toe playing cards i'm like what the fuck is this man there's a giant fish tank they're like now fight there's a giant fish tank check this out i go outside and the mom's

like oh so glad you came you know my husband's a big family yeah cool cool gives me ten thousand dollars cash she's like do we just need you here for an hour and she goes it's a big fan. I'm like, yeah, cool, cool. Gives me $10,000 cash. She's like, we just need you here for an hour. And she goes, it's a UFC-themed party. My kids love it. I go, how are your kids? She goes, eight, and they're twins. I was like, okay. The cake comes out.

It's made out of, like, the octagon. It has little fighters on it. Then the kids, she gives them gloves, and they start fighting. The kids and them start fighting. Straight up fighting. UFC style. Jesus Christ. I'm like, oh, my God.

I want the out of here oh my god 10 g's though where is this this was way in the sticks no this is california oh native yeah when i was fighting the uc i've done a bunch of 10 g's i i did like this i did this show like oh man who was the one that taran yeahan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he said, hey man, we can do this house, this private, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, Tehran was fucking, I love Tehran.

I get there, and I realized it was like a really, you know, exclusive, like a porn chick owned the place type of thing.

And I was like, oh, I'm not getting enough money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Sometimes you don't know until you get there. There's a certain point

where you just go, no, I'm not getting enough money. You know, what am I doing? Yeah, like everybody has a price. If I'm going to be a hooker, it has to be worth it. Hey, let's take a little bit of a break here while we talk. We're talking about the hard-hitting issues here, but let's get into this.

That's what we do, man. What is HelloFresh? Oh, my God. Do you live under a rock? Do you not know? Well, let me tell you. With HelloFresh, you get farm-fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store.

I mean, what is it, the 80s? Dude, skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. It's America's number one meal kit. You can choose from 55 or more weekly options including all right all sorts of summer fresh flavors whatever diet you're on we got you covered man and you can update your delivery address if you're on vacation for the summer enjoy hello fresh at your vacation destination with one click you can ship it anywhere man all right customize your favorite dishes with hello custom by swapping out one protein or a side for another.

Whatever you want, we got you, man. It's very easy. And here's the deal, too. HelloFresh, guess what? You might be like, oh, well, I don't know about how it works with the finances and the money. HelloFresh is 72% cheaper than dining at a restaurant and is even cheaper than grocery shopping. This is nuts, dude. Go to HelloFresh.com slash King16.

This is nuts, dude. Go to HelloFresh.com slash King16. Use the code King16 for 16 free meals across seven boxes and three free gifts. Go to HelloFresh.com slash King16. Use the code King16 for 16 free meals across seven boxes and three free gifts. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Chris, Eric, it's getting hot out there boys i get dehydrated i wish there was just a little uh thing powder i could put into 16 ounces of water that would hydrate me twice as fast as water alone and delicious and you know what i think there might be

something out there what's it called is there a watermelon flavor oh yeah i think there might be a watermelon flavor oh dude oh i'm so stupid. You're talking about liquid IV, daddy. Yeah, we knew it all along. We were joking. Of course we know what it is. Of course we know what it is because it's very popular. Yes, liquid IV in 16 ounces of water hydrates you twice as fast. All right, then water alone contains five essential vitamins, B3, B5, B6, B12, vitamin C.

And it's made with premium ingredients. It's delicious, man. Grab your liquid IV and bulk nationwide at Costco. Gotta be a member, or you can get 25% off when you go to liquid IV.com. Use the code K A T S at checkout. That's 25% off anything.

When you order using the promo code K A T S at liquid IV.com. One more thing I want to say about this. I had chap lips, drank this and the chap lips went away. That's how good it is. I-S at liquidiv.com. One more thing I want to say about this. I had chapped lips, drank this, and the chapped lips went away. That's how good it is. I heard it fits your nose. Yeah, it could. Yeah. So the Montez thing.

It is what it is. But how much? I'm saying how much would you for the birthday party? Be realistic, man. I don't even know. Because I'm saying $30,000 for a high-profile company because then I get like, that's hilarious to me. But see, it would be the same thing. They'd get both of us.

You're doing oops. Yeah. And I have to walk in as Montez. Yeah. You know what I mean? Wow. Hey, Eric, do you – Just any –

That makes – they'd have to raise my price if you were doing Montez, too. Eric, do you – Yeah. Wait a minute. Who's more – okay, new poll. Who's more valuable at an office party? You'd be great. Oh, you'd be great.

The hoops or Montez coming in like, you know. Eric would kill it. Eric would kill it. If Eric was all in, he'd kill it. Eric, is that Montez thing like triggering for you? No, no, not at all. Not at all. I'm not like, what's his name from?

Screech? Not Screech. Rest in peace. No, the dude from the Judd Apatow movie with the glasses. Oh, McLovin? Is he like that? Oh, he hates it. I hate it.

He's a nice guy. I saw him at a club. I was like, McLovin. And he just goes crazy. For me, it's like, this is what people know me. You know what I mean? I don't mind. Even on Cameo, it's always the same thing.

There's like the three big Montez things they always want. Right, right, right. Why folks love always want. Right, right, right. Why folks love smoothies. Right, right, right. I love it myself. That is pretty funny. They want that. What are you doing on the 18th?

They want smoothies. They want Stingray Coochie. Type boho? That's not yours. That's not me, though. That's the things they want from me. And that guy's fine. So it'll be like, my boy's getting married. Can you like, you know? Right, right, you know uh so you know so it'll be like

my boy's getting married can you like right and it's always the same you know i get it it's like what you're famous for yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no i get it braces yeah yeah yeah you do yeah you know what i mean it just it's that super bad was on another level though dude that guy probably couldn't go anywhere for a long time. And they'd be like, McLovin. And the guy's got a body of work. That's annoying. I was in my mid-20s, and I saw him and was drunk. It was like, McLovin!

I was like, dude, chill. No, no, you know what it really is? He didn't make no money in that movie. Yeah, but he gave him fame. He went on to do other movies. Yeah, but that's a fair point, though. No, no, I think that if it was like a TV series and he was that guy. Yeah, that's a fair point.

Totally different thing if it's in syndication and all this stuff's going on. But you think he made a lot of money for that movie? No, not at all. Fame, though, and it parlayed into his career. Yeah, but he's saying, going back to his shit, it's like it has to be worth it for the money. If everyone's going to be screaming McLovin at me, I'd better be making fucking 15 mil. Yeah. You know, and I get it, and he didn't.

Yeah. All right, well, let's get into it, huh? What's up? This UFC fighter, Puno Soriano, he won in the second round, called it, plus 500. But he is a giant workaholic fan. Oh, wow. He said he tags their podcast every Tuesday, and he watched workaholics 100 times over the pandemic. So you should have him on your podcast.

Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. He responded back to me on Instagram. His name is Adam Devine. He's a workaholic. He's never responded to me. I want him to come to a fight. I like him a lot.

He's cool. I don't know. That's it. Thanks, man. Yeah, yeah. You're calling out Bumper Allen, Adam Devine. Not a fight. You just want him to come to the fights because you're a fan yeah maybe we can hang out go to uh the the lakes of brozarks um i don't know hang out with him be on the pod oh he loves boys oh my god and workaholics one of the

greatest shows ever made if anyone in here hasn't seen it you got to check it out but um would you have you ever tagged him in anything? Have you ever tried to contact him? Because I think he's been to a UFC event. I've seen him before. Really? That would be dope. I tag their podcast every Tuesday. It comes out on Tuesdays.

I listen to it every Tuesday. You've got to tag the man. Yeah. I guess I'll tag him. I don't know. Who knows Soriano? I saw him swipe, but he's not like a real guy. No, there's a million UFC fighters.

No, but he's a good fucking fighter. He's on the ups. He's on the ups. Yeah. But I DM'd him and asked him if he wanted to talk to Montez. Oh, nice. Okay, very cool. He's going to be pissed because he's not going to get in time.

I know, I know. But yeah, our first submission. So yeah, anyway, get us on Cameo, Eric and I. Not Brendan. Yeah, we should get a King Sting wing and a Sing Cameo. How much would you jump out of a cake for, Chin? I don't think I would do it. For any price, Chin.

No, for fun. For fun. Fun? I mean, to make it a bit. Out of a cake? No, you're going to jump out of a cake with a guitar and a fucking... Just your underwear. Someone's offering you money.

And you have to sing with the icing on the strings and everything. You can't stop. Maybe 10. Just icing dripping. 10 Gs? Yeah the strings and everything. You can't stop. Maybe 10. Just icing dripping. 10 Gs? Yeah, 10 Gs. You're doing more than words. But at some point, it's like.

Saying I love you. Wow, a real nice song like that. Yeah. Covered in cake. I'll do it for $175. Nice. All right, cool. We got Nick's number.

You'd bet it all. Oh, it's my boy from Philly. This is my videographer. I appreciate the opportunity, brother. It's great meeting you in Philly. Chin, Mark Harvey. He's the best. Well. Ghost.

All day long. Easy. I feel like I can throw some sage around. Growing up, there was like a dog ghost in my house. They made dogs attack me, but you just beat the shit out of the dog and you just move on. I'm much better at having ghosts. That's pretty funny. So, debate. Do you have an intruder or a ghost in the house?

Okay. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore, whoop-dee-woop-woop-woop. First of all- He's so talented. One of these is real. I know, but he's- So, of course- Well i know but he's so of course well if you believe that thing yeah so oh so do you want a real person in your house robbing you or do you want you know yeah the make-believe you're the ghost well i mean if you don't believe it no let's come from

the world they're where they're both real let's say the ghosts are real I think I would then I want an intruder because I can call the cops yeah is Ghostbusters real too? so who are you going to call? good point what are we talking about?

good point Eric blends the worlds very nicely I will say I will say though I feel like I've thought about if a ghost ever showed up

at like my place like I would thought about if a ghost ever showed up at my place, I would have to be... I don't... Okay. I think I could sit down and be like, yo, what's going on? Let's talk about this. How can I help you? Yeah, because now that I know there's ghosts, I am your shepherd.

You can do whatever you want. You're the liaison. Let me do... What do you want me to do whatever you want. You're the liaison. Let me do. What do you want me to do? You want me to rob a bank? You want me to go talk to your relatives? I'll do whatever you want now that I know. You're Whoopi Goldberg all of a sudden?

No, 100%. Take me. You are the alpha. Dude, I thought I was an alpha. No, no, no, no, dude. You're in the afterlife. Whatever you need me to do. Have you never seen a horror movie? The ghosts are, no, no, dude. You're in the afterlife. Whatever you need me to do. Have you never seen a horror movie?

The ghosts are there for your soul, Chris. You know what, dude? Take it. No, you got to fight. Well, he had to change the button. What? The button would be, oops. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, like, what the fuck, dude? Has anyone had an intruder in their house? Anyone that broke into? No. No. No. Thank God I haven't. Yep.

Yep. Yep. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Yes. That's what I'm saying. I'll take ghost all day.

Listen, my girl's Mexican, dude. So she's every other fucking Thursday. She has sage in that bitch. She has candles with the San Mariano. Who says that that works? Mexican survive. That's PR for ghost. Ghost is like, yeah, get the sage out there.

Oh, no, we don't want that. Yeah, the ghost is like, oh, they brought the sage out. It's like garlic with vampires. They're probably at an Italian restaurant. Well, she does it so much. I'm like, oh, fuck, man. Maybe it works. Hey, has there been ghosts at your house?

They do leave. Well, maybe. There you go. There you go. What's good, B-Shob, Theo, Chris, whole King of the Same Crew. It's your boy Mitch from Marin County. Shout out, Mark. Got the same crew. It's your boy, Mitch from Marin County. Shout out, Mark.

Um, got the big club for you guys today. Buying nice cars for your son or daughter's 16th birthday. Um, being from Marin, I definitely saw some nice cars growing up for my friends, like some beamers, BMWs,

which are beamers, uh, Range Rovers, Teslas, nice trucks, like Raptors,ors tundra stuff like that yeah over a hundred thousand dollar cars and personally i had that stick shift super outback that les mobile i know if the other knows that life that's character but um i know b shop is getting tiger something sick for his 16th birthday absolutely driving around you know camry like a Calvin might be. So I'm going to save him tight. I know for a fact.

Gang gang, buzz buzz. So. I think that it's okay to get your, if you have the money, I think it's okay to get your 16-year-old son or daughter a nice car, but to get them like a fucking. Define nice car. Yeah, like. Not like a three-series BMW.

No, no, no. Like, i don't know like what just like you mean like like a normal like a uh like a dodge yeah but maybe charger like just the basic one not like the srt one i mean like not a porsche not a beamer not a fucking i mean maybe maybe like a a really like basic Mercedes that has like a, I mean, you get those for, you know. Mercedes, Jesus Christ. But like I'm saying like the- But a basic one.

How fancy do you sound? It's like $100 a fucking month. Like it's still okay, but still, it's still a Mercedes. Yeah, but- Your kid's got to have a used car. No, it doesn't have to be used. And learn how to fucking do shit. I don't know. They got to have a summer job. They got to have a used car and learn how to fucking do shit. I don't know.

They got to have a summer job. They got to have a summer job. Paying for gas. Here's the problem, though. Our kids, the new generation, and you can see it in the statistics. Kids aren't getting their license. They're like, there's Uber. I don't give a fuck.

I was Uber around. What about safety as a parent? Do you want your kid driving or do you want to know your kid's gonna be you know or abducted by fucking i'd rather have my kid driving than this random uber yeah i would too i would too i don't trust so fucking uber drivers yeah but there's so much you know there's so much yeah technology right i know i mean they catch serial killers immediately i get it but like man i was watching this thing the other night and it was like cold case nah what the fuck was it it was like they like some guy killed someone and then like they were like oh let's look at the cameras in the area and there was just like a camera like all

the way across the fucking way across the park and they got him they're using the rings and they saw his car from like all the neighbors yeah that's exactly right with it no it's so it's like serial killer you're fucked i know know. It's real shit. Yeah. Shout out to all those serial killers that are down back right now. They're like, what are we going to do? I know. I know. Dude, because in the 70s, 80s, it was like the golden age of serial killers.

How funny is it? They didn't know that they were going to all get caught in 2015. You know what I mean? These guys are like, fuck, they're never going to catch me. Would you ever watch Cold Case Files? They'll be like, this murder happened 50 years ago but the dna evidence and technology was it ready in 2016 they ran their dna and you're like imagine you know you're free for 50 years and then that's knocking your door like hey bro technology yeah but even worse the other side of that is you've been in jail for 20 years

and then and then they had the dna and they're like oh the person was lying yeah come out go the government does okay so the government hires you so you're gonna be in court in court and you're gonna be in court like the bail. You're right next to the bailiff. And then as soon as they go, we were found innocent. And then you have to come out. No, no, no. But I want to be one of those guys that, you know how they're all relaxed just answering questions. And I just go, oops.

Like that? Like a Senate hearing? Yeah, exactly. 100%. Yeah, yeah. I have my glass of water. But the guy goes like this first. You know how they do this?

And they go, where do you go? And you come back. And then you go, oops. And the judge goes, we really mean that. We are very sorry. Oops. Well, the senator from Wisconsin. Oops. Oh, that's funny, dude.

Hello, King and the Sting and the Wing and the Sing Fam. My name's Peter from New Zealand. Nice. Don't talk over me. Anyway, got a debate club for you. King and the Sting and debate club. Are they the same thing? Because technically, it's whether or not you agree with a point, right?

Like that's the whole premise of each one. Or am I just missing something? Or is that the joke and I just don't get it? No, it's here, dude. I'm pretty new here. I've only been watching since episode one. Yeah, dog. Anyway, love you guys, but not in a weird way.

That's too bad. Gang gang, buzz buzz, soar. How about we sting that he's 25 on top and 75 below his belt? Yeah, it's mismatch. He's like,

I'm 25 and then I'm 75. Dude, but Chris just said like your beard's gray, your hair's young. Yeah. I think Brendan missed the question. It was our debate club and King at our sting at the same time. No, you know. I get it. I think Brendan missed the question. It was our debate club and King it or Sting it.

Yeah. No, you know. I get it. Yeah. I thought you said get to it. No, my CT is not that bad. Well. I think I had the same thought actually.

I thought the same thing. I was like, it's kind of the same thing. King it or Sting it. I picked it just to explain it. Got it. Got it. King it or Sting it is whether or not one thing is good or bad. Yes.

You like it. Yes, I know that. Whereas debate club is the preference. I know, I know, I know. They bleed together when people give a yes or no. Yeah, see, it's the people's fault. Yes, it's not our fault. We got out of that one.

That's what's fun about it. Yeah. We don't know. We don't know. See, it's not loud enough. They're jumping off. No, it's going to be good on the podcast. We'll come through for sure.

And here's someone who doesn't get it. God. Good. Can you see it? Same nose as Theo. Theo, D'Leo, Griffin, King or Stingit? Bananas, dogs, bananas with no dogs. See, that's not it.

It's fucking idiot. He mixed it up. He's like, so which of my ants would you like to fuck? What is it? Fucking ring. What is it? What does the ant want? King or sting it? Bananas, docks?

No docks. Personally, I need some docks on there. The confidence of I need some docks on there for a workout, job, you know, zoo culture, that's what we do. King or sting it? Right or unripe bananas? That means he likes older women too then, right?

Right bananas are only good for banana bread. Everybody knows that. Oh, is that right? Oh, yeah. What is that? Banana bread. You need the dots all over the bananas because you can't make it with new bananas. You need the old bananas. Oh, really? You need to just eat your bananas

when you get them. You're buying too many bananas. Yeah. Exactly. Dude, bananas are bullshit, dude. Speaking of bananas, I'm going to be in Dallas coming up August 27th in Wichita, Kansas. So get your tickets at Crystal Leader. You know who has better bananas than Dallas? What?

San Diego. Oh, really? This Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Oh, Dallas coming up. I'm in San Diego tonight eating bananas. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Wichita, Dallas, Washington, D.C., and Atlanta have great bananas. You know, it's funny, too, because I'm going to be there.

So, I don't know. I think, well, to eat the bananas, you've got to have a… I'm not a big banana guy. Neither am I, dude. Why? My dad loves them. Oh, I'll ask you this. How do you eat your banana?

I eat it like the monkeys eat it. I pinch the back end, and then you just fold it down. It's way easier. You don't rip the thing because it makes it all mushy. What are you talking about? You pinch it. then you just fold it down it's way easier rip the thing that makes it all what are you talking about pinch it it flies flaps open it's way easier yeah but it's science but it does it but it doesn't look as good yeah i don't like the way it aesthetically i don't like the way it looks you've got to feel it i like it to be like you know dripping all over you know and i'm deep throating this thing you know i don't like watching anybody eat a banana dude so i think that um yeah if you're gonna eat but i'm not a banana guy but if you're gonna eat bananas you gotta have some sort of

fucking dots on it man you can't be eating those green bananas you don't want them green it's not the choice wasn't green bananas it's ripe okay the choice wasn't green bananas and brown bananas the choice was a nice yellow good, good-looking banana. A normal banana. And then, like, you know what I mean? Okay, fine. But then you literally have, like, seven hours to eat that fucking nice banana before it gets dots on it. Yeah, I'd say less than that.

I remember this guy. Hey, boys. It's Aaron out of Indiana. I got a King Air stinger for you guys. Oh, cool. So this is the situation. So there's this girl I've been into for a long time. Man, she is loaded down with precious cargo. She's got this ass that is pure mass.

When I'm around her, I feel like I got to be tucked up in my waistband in seventh grade gym class all over again. So I'm trying to give her the best four seconds of her life, but all I can think about is this is my homie's ex. What would you guys do? Would you say no? Would you spray rope? Obviously, looks ain't on my side, so when I get my opportunity, I'm fucking spraying.

What would you do? Obviously, there's different situations different scenarios but uh shit's been sour between these two for a while i just want to hit it let me know gang gang buzz buzz solo this guy is basically theo yeah that's hilarious um i what i was just gonna say maybe don't give the speech like a serial killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoyed it. You know what I mean?

Like his demeanor is very much like. His face didn't change at all. His face didn't change at all. No face change. You know what I mean? No face change. Why is, why are there so many people who listen to this show that wear that, like that work? Because they're blue collar.

I know, but why, why but yeah but why that though it's always a construction worker yeah man it's the peeps dude all right no your crowd no i'm not saying it's just saying it's only they're always that's not your crowd that's not your crowd your crowd got a mercedes when they're 16 right this guy's got beautiful blue eyes he needs to get into the gym down that's and he's gonna. Yeah, he's not a bad looking guy. You know what? Looks are on your side more than you know it, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I agree. So is that Buddy's ex? It depends how good of a buddy it is. And also, I would talk to the buddy first. Like, yo, man. Every guy understands. Brianna was a real freak. Am I right?

You ever think about her? He's like, nope. Like, cool. No. That's a sneaky way to do it. Why? It's very open. If you already know, like if you know your friend had an issue with their, like you knew how to break up was all messed up and it messed with your friend.

But if your friend walked away like, yeah, I'm done with her or whatever, then you could be like, yo, man, you know, you say you were done. I'm kind of into, you could just approach it like that if you're buddies if he's a real friend he should get it now if your friend dated her for like 10 years or 6 high school sweethearts it was a horrible breakup

she cheated on him that's different but if it's just a buddy who's like yeah he hooked up with her for like a month as a friend I'd be like

I don't give a fuck dude we can't have her over my house jumping on cakes and shit but I don't ever want to see her in public, but... What's this handsome bastard want? Jesus Christ.

Yo, Cats crew. He knows he's sexy. I have a question for you. A kingdom or stingdom, if you will. Crop top tank tops for men, all right? Now, I'm not talking the flamboyant stuff. I'm talking Apollo Creed running on the beach with Rocky. All right?

Okay. I'm 6'9", so it's hard for me to find tank tops that fit. Are you shitting me? There's no doubt. That boy got a dick. So I don't have to worry about this anymore. But what do y'all think? Gang, gang.

Buzz, buzz. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Dude, why do you leave me out? You know why. Yeah. I do. First of all, this is the thing. If you are a dime piece, you can wear whatever the fuck you want.

That's what I think. You can wear a dress. As long as you rock in it however you're going to rock it. You own it. You own it. You can do whatever you want. But if you're apologetic about anything you're going to rock it. You own it? You own it. You can do whatever you want. But if you're apologetic about anything you're wearing, then immediately everybody feels like. The public can sense it.

Yes. It's just like on stage. You're doing jokes. You got some swagger. Yeah. If you got swag, do your thing. Thank you. Yeah.

That's where I was going. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate that. I appreciate it. You know what? Chris, watch that high forehead. You know what I mean Yeah

Yeah Yeah I don't think I've seen a straight man Wear a crop top It's in the Well Apollo Creed It's 80s shit

Yeah Or the movie The Program You've seen no Volleyball dudes out there They do Yeah Yeah like Yeah but not just

like a guy at fucking, you know. No, he's not going to fucking Walmart. No, you're not going to walk into Buffalo Wild Wings and see some dude

in a car. Chase Bank, Wells Fargo. Well, he could after a workout. He just finished playing beach volleyball and he's got to go

deposit a check and try to do it with his phone. I wear a fanny pack. Yeah, fanny pack's different though because, yeah, but that's okay. I think fanny pack's okay because go deposit a check. I mean, I wear a fanny pack. Yeah, fanny pack's different though. I wear a fanny pack. Yeah, but that's okay.

I think fanny pack's okay because it really is utility. I mean, depending on what you have in there. I just take things in my pocket. That's what started rocking it. Yeah, sure. I understand. I mean, fanny pack is cool. Because you're thick.

You can't. As long as you're wearing it like this and not like a bitch ass like this, that's some bitch shit. I don't like that. I know you do that sometimes. You don't like when people wear a bag like this? Nah, that's across my back.

You know what's weird is sometimes I won't put it across because I'm just running the store. So I'll put it on. I'm like, oh, this is a purse now. Yeah, but you're just grabbing it quick. It's a purse. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's different than a purse, but yeah, I get it.

Fanny pack's cool, I think. But that's all a construct of society. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? That we think that a purse is feminine. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Well, it kind of is, right?

No. That's like saying high heels are feminine. Well, it is because of- That's different than a purse. How? A purse has to be- A purse is a bag, a satchel. Yeah, okay.

Can I get some water? If you call it a satchel- Can you tell somebody to get me some water? If you call it a satchel, all of a sudden it becomes like you're Indiana Jones. He wore a fucking satchel across his body and he had it right here. Good point.

Okay? So you say if you put it on your shoulder, all of a sudden it's like, ooh. Yeah. Now you want to swallow a load? You know what I mean?

It doesn't make any sense. Not feminine. Right, right. It's like it's such a weird thing. Before any of the King and the Sting historians say something, we did have crop tops, men's crop tops in King of the Sting 104,

but Chris and Eric weren't here. This guy said he did. Yeah, well, see, and there you go. Here's that tummy tap, though, you know? Yeah, he's showing off his tummy. Dude, thanks so much, man. Yeah, but that guy's just owning it in the way that he is. Yeah, he is owning it, yeah.

I think if Theo could rock it, I'd be like, yeah, all right. I don't know if he could rock it. I don't think he has crop top body. I don't think he does, but I think he would could rock it, I'd be like, yeah, all right. I don't know if he could rock it. I don't think he has crop top body. Yeah, he doesn't. I don't think he does, but I think he would just own it. Theo wears some of his shit. It would just accentuate his booty. He would look like a black girl.

You know what I mean? You know what, dude? He'd be like, what's up, girl? After I'm done with healing on my nose, I'm going to really get really fit, and I'm going to do that. I'm going to see if I can do it. I don't think I can, but I'm going to try it. I think you could. Congratulations, crop tops.

Reveal my tattoo life rips across the bottom of the belly. That's what we don't say. Very cool and sexy. She's got a whole basically show idea to pitch us that has to do with helping Theo find love. Yeah, because I need another show. Hey, yo, what's up, my dudes? It's the girl that creepily sketched you guys not too long ago on Instagram.

First off, thank you guys so much for reposting it, loving it, appreciating it, acknowledging it. That's awesome. I love you guys not too long ago on instagram first off thank you guys so much for reposting it loving it appreciating it acknowledging it that's awesome i love you guys so much thank you guys for everything you guys do um so i do have a kink or sting it i'm back back with it with a kingdom sting it um so the idea is what if you guys created a reality tv show kind of like flavor of love but like for theo to find a girl with some redneck title and um all the candidates have to be from patreon like subscribers and then how they audition would be like kind of like the boy style so there's going to be like teams kind of like chris uh brennan and

eric and um so they're just like sitting in chairs and if the girl says something that they like then they hit the button and they have to coach the So I'm on a team now. And they have to coach the girls. They get to pick the dates so they can be as sentimental as they want, or they can be as outrageous and hilarious as they want. But yeah, that's my idea. Jesus, Chick thought about it, huh? Sting it. She needs to bring this to Hollywood.

Gang gang, buzz buzz, soar. Woo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-bah! She was just scatting Yeah So Very involved It would be really hard to do But No first of all

Theo would never go for it No no no But like a flavor of love Theo edition Like rock is love That'd be so dope And we're on there From like G's to J's

As judges Yeah G's to J's Or it's like How she's describing it As groomers You know what I mean Like we have to prepare The girls for Theo I don't Yeah. Or it's like how she's describing it as groomers. You know what I mean?

Like we have to prepare the girls for Theo. I don't think Theo's going to go for it. I don't think it's the way she described it. You know, you would coach the girls and get them ready for Theo. Like, I don't know. I mean, how would you even get a girl ready for Theo? Theo should just have a reality show anyway, man. Don't stress them out. Don't you think?

What did you say? Who would be better on Dances with the Stars? Out of the four of us? I mean, I think I would be the best. I'm Dancing with the Stars. Chris can dance. He did that, what's his singing? I'm lanky and shit.

I know you were dancing pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you kidding? You don't think I can move? No, I think you would. I think that it would be close. I think it would be close. You know what?

Now that I saw that, honestly, I think you might kill it. I know. You know what? You'd be a crowd fun favorite. Thank you. But when it comes to just really killing it. This is what I'm saying, though. Yeah, yeah.

You don't have to be a great dancer on Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, who would be best on Dancing with the Stars? You. Okay, you. I didn't ask who would be the best dancer. He would be the most awkward. I don't know.

Theo? What if Theo's on there and he's like, you know, boom, boom. Wow, that would be amazing. He's like really like a great dancer. But he's an athlete. He'd be all fucking, although Emmitt Smith killed it, right? Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice won. Oh, wow.

And Paige Van Zandt. Yeah, but Jerry Rice. Well, he's a, yeah, he's a wide receiver, right? He was like a ballerina, it felt like. Is that show still popping? I think they switched it to Disney Plus or something. I don't think it's on ABC anymore. I don't know who watches it.

I don't think, do big celebrities still go on there? Mm-hmm. They're like big TV celebrities, the biggest reality stars, but not like A-list. Right. Were they ever A-list? Some of them were. When they first started, some of them. Really?

But that's like that show Masked Singer. When they're guessing, they'll be like, is it Johnny Depp? It's like, no, bitch, you know he's not doing the show. They asked me to do that like four years. Not Masked Singer was one of them. Which one, dude? I don't know. I think it was Masked Singer. What the fuck was it?

You know what gets big singers? Big people is the one, the lip-syncing one. Oh, yeah. I did that. The lip-sync battle. I did that. But they have big people on that. Yeah, true. They have like fucking... big people on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.

Yeah, they have like fucking. Bieber was on there. Channing Tatum and shit. Mark Cuban, Floyd Mayweather. I'd say that's pretty close to A list. Yeah, but they're not. That's fun for them. They're not like actors.

They're not hawking shit. Chabelle had a funny joke about that in one of his 85 specials that just came out, you know, where he was like, I'm not ready to be on Dances with the Stars came out you know where he was like uh he was like I'm not I'm not ready to be on dances with the stars yeah yeah you know when I uh it's like the last stop yeah yeah yeah when I first moved here and was living in my car and had a lot of free time I would go to a lot of TV tapings and I went to lip sync battle and it was Anne Hathaway versus Emily Blunt boom they both just absolutely crushed it Anne Hathaway did uh came in like a wrecking ball. Oh, right. I remember that one. She swung like a wrecking ball. It was incredible.

Well, that's A-list. I mean, that's A-list. Yeah, right there. Yeah. Those two? Let's do it. This is Tyler, 18, from Detroit. Got a King of the Stinget for you guys.

You guys got good nose. Just on my way home from boxing. Shout out, Michigan Top Team. This guy from Arlington started a huge brawl on a plane over this guy's reclined seat. I know we can't all be rich like Chris. We can't all have the private jets. Why am I the rich guy? You guys all make this.

He says to fly coach some of us drive 2008 Dodge Rams. Talk to him about it. I know. I fly very few times that I do fly. I hate the reclined seats. Personally, it makes me want to put myself on a no-fly list. I want to strain the person in front of me on the plane, right? But anyways, can't understand it.

Reclined seats on planes. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore. And my girlfriend's dad is watching this right now, so I'm not going to sing. I like this kid. That's a fair question. I don't have a problem with the recline. Recline all the way. You can both recline and that's fine. My problem is

when you're flying to Fort Wayne. Can't wait to talk. You got to do it in the mic, dude. When you're flying to Fort Wayne and you got to go to Chicago, then jump on a puddle jumper, tiny fucking plane to get to Fort Wayne. And the dude, no lie, Mark took a picture of it. 400 pounds. I see him go like this.

I'm like, oh. 400 pounds. Sits next to me. And his body just spilled over into my seat. Like Salvador Dali clock. Dude. And I look at, yeah, exactly. Like Salvador Dali clock. Dude. And I look at, yeah, exactly. Dude, that's hilarious.

Dude, I look at the stewards. I go, what were you going to do? She goes, it's only a 30-minute flight, baby. She was like just white knuckled it. Yeah, when you have to ask for the extension for the seatbelt, you should be paying for an extra seat. Well, they do make people do that. If you're over 260 pounds, you have to buy two seats. Is that right?

No, that's my rule. Oh, that's kind of low. I think if you're in the riffraff area of these planes now, man, that reclining back is like, it's ridiculous now. Oh, come all the way back. Come all the way back. I'm not even talking for me. I enjoy it. All the way back, I massage your head.

Me too, I massage your shoulders. I massage your head. You get that as well. You fly by me, I massage. Go all the way. All the way. Dude, you know what. Me too, I massage your shoulders. I massage your head. You get that as well. You fly by me, I massage. Go all the way. All the way. Dude, you know what we do? I take my phone, we watch Netflix together.

I'm in front of you. And then I'm holding it, and then we're sharing the peanuts. You're so stupid. And you're so close to me, you're like cheek to cheek, and you guys are. No, not cheek to cheek. They're reclining in front of me, and I'm holding it in front of their face, and we're both watching. And you're sharing the peanuts.

Hey, you mind if I have one? We got a splitter. I'll tell you right now, if you're on a plane next to me and you're texting, your boy's looking. I read all your texts. I'm in your conversation. And if it's going down, I'll give you some input too. Dude, some guy, I did this on my podcast,

Super Cult Studios production of Congratulations. I did this on my podcast that came out yesterday, going over to Chris' but my Super Cult Studios production of Congratulations. I did this on my podcast. It came out yesterday. Go on over to Chris' there and listen to it. But this guy walked into a cafe that I was in the other day, and he was on. Coffee bean, right?

It actually wasn't because it was next to my nose guy. I had to go get it checked. And I walked in, and I was sitting there, and I was eating before I went to go to get my nose checked. And this dude walks in and the person's on speaker and he's talking to the person on speaker, uh, as he walks into the cafe and doesn't stop doing it. You do that. You talk on speaker in public.

Yeah. I was there cause I don't want it up to my ear. Oh, I'm with you. 100% hit the button. I can do. I was there because I don't want it up to my hair. Oh, I'm with you 100%. Hit the button. I can do. Because that shit is like, you know what I do? When somebody does that kind of shit and they're just being like a full volume, I turn on my music.

Oh, that's good. I turn on my music and I go like this. Oh, that's good. Oh, that doesn't bother me. That's good. I zone all of it out. Keep going. No, I'm fine. That's journey.

Yeah, no, keep journey yeah I got something that I got something that's even better than that I I went like some what somebody I can't remember what they said on the other phone 400 pounds on the other phone they said all right we'll get to it yeah on the phone you go so they get to the phone beat you so they get to the there's somebody on the other side of whoever he was talking to said well because this that I said oh really because oh I'm in this conversation now bro we're now i'm in this conversation i want i want everyone involved in my conversation i don't give a well also i agree that's weird it's where i do it but i do do it yeah i know the weird thing to me is

when i'm on the road with david lucas and i don't know if it's a black black guys do it all the time black guys face time oh yeah yeah yeah over nothing do black guys want you to know they got friends dude dude david would be on the road like this we'll be in the face time rachel yeah dude dude david i will be like what's up girl oh david would be like this was like if if if my girl facetime it's with the kids it's something important otherwise text me david what's up girl and i'll listen to kind of like, I'm just chilling. They'll sit in silence. He'll have another conversation.

Well, she's on FaceTime. I'm like, yeah, anyway. So what you like, girl? Remember black dudes with the two-way? Remember how black dudes, every time you heard it, you look over and it's a black dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was no white people were doing that. Asians would never. You just hear, you're like, oh, blacks are around. You'd know immediately, dude.

FaceTime, for no reason, it's a very black thing, I feel like. Even Uber, they do it. Uber. I have an Uber driver pick me up. What's up, girl? Hey, bitch. Precious cargo. Can you not FaceTime with your boy in the back? What were you going to say? I just don't like...

I don't necessarily mind when people are talking on the phone. Let's say like this is what happens. Like we could be sitting in a room like this. I mean you're having a conversation and this is how we're going to talk. But for some reason when people get on the phone, it goes from this to like, yeah, so anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, right? So when they coming?

Let me look at my calendar. And sometimes I was like, why the fuck are you talking at full fucking volume? You don't even need the phone at that point. You don't even need. Yeah. They'll hear you. Yeah. They just go, so anyway, mom.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing that I don't understand. Why are you talking at full volume? I always listen to it. I always listen to it. And then the other thing I can't take my eyes off is when two couples are fighting in public it's like you think it's mike tyson and vander holyfield they're prime fighting on you know my favorite i will watch it oh that's my favorite it's like a jerry springer no my favorite place to watch couples fight is

vegas because it happens because much. Because one, you know where they are in the trip too. You know that they... Day three. Day three at the pool. When they're fighting in the casino, you know it's like, oh, they've probably lost money. You know what I mean? It's like, I love that.

They got that stupid half drink that's like so big. It's all these colors. It's like a bong. It's a bong of fucking juice. But there's keywords where you know what's going down. Like, really, you want to start this? I'm like, yeah, let's start it. There's certain keywords where you're like, oh, they're about to go.

Yeah, I don't think it's like. Have you ever had a fight in public with a significant other? There's nothing more embarrassing. Not like that, no. First of all, you're a crazy person anyway. I remember, I'll never forget this. I'm at the improv, and it was one of Chris's exes. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm talking to her down the hallway. Chris is in the improv room. He leans. In the green room? No, no, no, no. This was in the hallway. Before you in the improv room he he he leans in the green room no no no this was in the hallway oh before you go hit the stage yeah we're in the long hallway i'm talking to her like you know yeah right before you get into the hallway chris leans in and he goes you know he screams her name and i was like god damn you gotta go but we were we arguing or no it doesn't even matter you're just i probably wanted her to watch me yeah like a lunatic your boy but i don't know

how loud i am though sometimes though yeah i mean i can't control i've had a fight with an x in vegas i don't think really yeah i don't i've had fights in public but it's usually like yeah i'm usually like that's even worse it is better it's better like. Yeah, I'm usually like. But that's even worse. It is better. It's better. It's better and worse. When you see a guy going like this. It's so funny, bro. So funny. He's trying to be like, I swear to God. Yeah, yeah.

I swear to God. Stop fucking acting up. I had a fight once. I had a fight once. I was with a feisty girl once. And she would. We would fight a lot. But I would say to her, look, just if if i'm at work if i'm at the comedy store

if i'm at laugh factory if i'm at somewhere don't it can't be then because she would do it anywhere and she did it and she did it one time at the there's one thing i know about this chick already yeah and i stopped um and then that's when i was like okay i don't think i can be with her anymore but that's one of the triggering things whenever a guy goes you want to do this hair please don't do this hair like yeah but when i hear that when i hear if a guy describes a chick as like oh well she will fight with me anywhere i know the pussy's fantastic yeah it's like it's like amber heard it's like amber heard when when i was watching they're like yeah she's shitting is bad and i stay together two more years i'm, I bet she sucks the meanest dick this side of Japan. They just have that chemistry is what I'm saying.

Sometimes you have chemistry with somebody and it overrides their crazy. 100%. And then it just goes to – but it does get to a point where you just have to – you're like – and that goes for girls, guys. I mean, you know what I mean? But if you have – The crazy gets to a point where you just go, I can't. Now I can't function. But when you're in it, you don't know. Like I have a buddy. He I mean? Do whatever. The crazy gets to a point where you just go, I can't. Now I can't function. But when you're in it, you don't know.

Like, I have a buddy. He's in a terrible relationship. On the outside, you're like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, what? Mark's laughing too hard. Now it's laughing too hard. Exactly what I was talking about. You know what?

It is hard to, like, when you're friends with somebody who is in some kind of batshit relationship, and then you've told them once, you've told them twice, like, yeah, I think you should break up. And then maybe they do break up, and then they get back with that person. That's when I'm out. Yeah, you can do it like two or three times, but people it people do it like eight times bro you ever had a girl hit you i don't know not uh no not not in the face no that's where i can't like body shots yeah but that's damn some girl hit you in the body yeah but that's like like i'm that that's not did you

deserve it yeah exactly she was like a liver shot? I think it was chest. He wasn't dating a fucking UFC fighter. I don't know. A liver shot? She fucking did one of these for him. Put her mouthpiece. She's fucking giving you bows.

Let's go. She's fucking. Are you going to suck my. No, I. I don't know. Are you going to suck my. No, I. I don't. I don't know. Your Nick Choo's breath is popping. Have you ever.

You've gotten hit by a girl? No, never. No, you've not. They push me and shit. Yeah. Because you're bigger. They're like, oh, it doesn't matter. I'm like, no, still. It drives me nuts.

But that's one of the. Friends and like girls. Oh, I first started dating. Because especially when I was fighting. Friends. Fans. When I started doing. When I first started meeting.

It's a comedy shows. They're like, what's up, dude? And him. I'm like, bro. Bro. Because especially when I was fighting friends fans when I started doing my first started meet and greets at comic shows They're like what's up, dude and him like bro, bro Do you ever hit anybody and they do it hard they do it hard to me So if they do it to me they're doing it to you because they think like I think in there Oh fuck bro you been somewhere No, I go who hurt you you? What are you doing? I don't like that either. Sting that. Yeah.

Touching. No, just like physical, like some sort of majorly physical roughhousing. I don't know you. I don't like roughhousing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who's like that? You know, man, Brittany Furlan. She's like that?

Yeah. She would be like. It's hilarious. She's like Elaine on Seinfeld. She like she's like she's like uh she's like a lame on she hits him get the fuck out of here she like push you real hard i'll be like god damn girl sometimes it's fun though sometimes it's fun well she's so mini that it's like but i mean yeah i get it that's why she can do it yeah i know exactly it just throws you off i have a buddy go ahead go ahead i have a buddy who has been doing these fucking bullshit LA boxing classes for four months.

Yeah. No, no, no. Brian Callen. No, it's not Brian Callen. Annoying enough, that's him. But he, and now he's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, and he does these fucking, and he's You know what? In that person's defense, I totally get it. Because when I started taking the bullshit boxing class, there's something about it, man. No, hey, hey. And he does these fucking. You know what? In that person's defense, I totally get it.

Because when I started taking the bullshit boxing class, there's something about it, man. No, no, no. I get it, too. You in public like, oh, you want to test me? I get it, too. But do all that shit in your head. One week after. It's like, what's up?

I used to do. But, you know, I used to do jujitsu. I did it for like five years. And, you know, when you're really in the classes and you're doing them and fucking, well, you know, you live the shit. But, like, you're out there and you're like, oh oh if that person did this or if that person did this i could do this or that or that's a way you know and i don't even know what the fuck you're talking about but to to actually be like bugging and doing in someone's space oh yeah that's brian cat when me and brian used to tour together he would shadowbox before i went on stage like for real

serious shadowbox i go dude i'm telling you it's ruining my night yeah itbox? Yeah, it's serious. Before a show, I go, dude, I'm telling you, it's ruining my night. Yeah, it's annoying as fuck. It's so triggering. It's so annoying, especially for you. Bro, I hate it. I can't imagine you. I hate it. Yeah.

What's this, Nick? Somebody doing knock-knock jokes. Yeah. Someone, this is Cats in the Wild, someone paid Eric on Cameo to be in their parade. Oh, wow. Eric on Cameo to be in their parade. Oh, wow. That's just some white dude

that looks like a Chicago fucking Bears fan. First of all, there's so many of these type things that I get tagged in on Instagram. Have you seen

one of the two fat guys racing? Oh, actually, yes. That's the one that's like, I'm tagged like a thousand times. No, no, no, no. Let me see. Eric Griffith's fast.

They're like, Eric Griffith gave him the business. What is it? I'm like, it's not me. By the way, that clip was fucking hilarious, even not thinking about Eric. The guy's like, mew, mew, mew. That's a grown man in a tiny little truck. Bro, have you seen the video online? You might not be able to find it quick.

This might be a dead fucking story. But when the accident happens and the dude rolls up in that little mini car and he's like, hey, what happened? Have you seen that video? Oh, fuck, bro. Remember on Patreon when we fucking broke down the Disneyland fight?

That was fun. Oh, we did do that, yeah. Yeah, that was good. Patreon. Just sign up for our patreon patrons lit yeah we got a lot of fucking people on there baby the craziest street fight in history at disney insane at landed 12 12 minutes we broke it down 12 minutes some lady got beat up oh fuck bro so a few ladies got right but the old lady fell out of the yeah right right

right right buggy all right so what's up's up, King of the Sting crew? I got a King of the Sting for y'all real quick. Waiting five plus hours at a meet and greet to meet one of your heroes. I'm meeting the one and only Walker Bueller. What do y'all think? That's my guy.

For five and a half hours? It better be Tom Cruise, bro. No, fuck that. Anyone. It is what it is. Dude, you know, you shouldn't say that because I can see people waiting five hours. Five hours, though? I have crazy fans.

Yes. Have you ever? Dude, I remember. A five-hour line? Yeah, dude. I remember. Unless it's Lady Gaga. Why does Walker Jr.

What's his name? Walker Bueller. He's a pitcher from Kentucky for the Dodgers. Good boy. Oh, I know. He did my showueller. He's a pitcher from Kentucky for the Dodgers. Good boy. Oh, I know. He hit my show once. That's my boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but it's like if it's after the game. But why does Walker want to be out there for five hours is my point. No, no, no, no. People are waiting. Oh. You get what I'm saying? So that's on them. It's like it's going to be a meet and greet.

It'd be like this. Meet and greet after a King and a Sting taping. When are they going to start lining up? Oh, that's a little more normal. When I was in the UFC, I went to an expo thing in Vegas, and I waited two hours to meet Vanderlei Silva. And I met him, and he signed the picture. And I was like, oh, my name's Brendan.

He goes, cool. And he wrote Brandon, and that's like triggering for me even back then. You've got to have one of those names that's one letter off. That's why I McLovin I was like I'd be like if there was a name Cruss dude so he put Brandon and I go oh no then I'm so sorry I'm gonna wait two hours can you just fix it and put Brendan and he's like wow all right I'm gonna take this and go now I wait two hours yeah it's like that's on your parents like if your parents named you crust right like go fuck yourself brendan you know what i mean no one should be named brendan you know what i'm saying yeah or or whatever it is pick one of them yeah yeah but yours is eric one of them with a k i know but i'm gonna use a c that does piss me off but but but that's the viking way man we rape and pillage. Wow. But the difference with his is Eric with a C is still the same name as Eric with a K.

It's still Eric. Yeah. Brendan and Brandon are different names. It's not like Eric with a K is like E-Rock. Right, right, right, right, right. People are like, how do you spell that? E-Rock is kind of cool, man. I just want to get famous enough where they don't fuck my name up at Starbucks.

That's my only goal. Oh, that'll never. That's my only goal. Oh, that'll never. That's my only goal. Nothing on you. Tom Cruise gets fucked up there. No, he doesn't. They're so dumb there. They don't get there.

But my point is they're so out to lunch there. They don't know. Yeah. They spell it Tom. They'll be the Tom Cruise show up. They'll be like fucking Kurt Russell. Sorry, I thought you were the one. You know what I mean?

They're so bad at spelling. They're so bad at spelling. They're so bad at spelling. No, they're not bad at spelling. They just think they're different stars and shit. That's so fucking funny to me. They fuck up so bad. But I'm going, and it's clearly Tom Cruise,

and they're like, Patrick Swayze. They did. And the thing is, Tom Cruise knows they're talking about him. Yeah. No one else is famous in here. So he has to go like this.

Okay. That's probably me. That's really funny, bro. Small mistake. Small mistake. That's really funny. It doesn't matter who. They do it on purpose.

It doesn't matter who it is. They can say it over and over. They fuck mine up so bad. I go to the same Starbucks every day. And the guy that knows me dude yeah he watches all this watching it right now and he puts really good and i see him spell it brendan and then she goes oh i get this specific drink they go uh whatever eight shot espresso for brandon off wait doggo she goes let's see your drink oh my name's not

brandon wow and she'll go, dude, come on. Oh, that's hilarious. That's good. We had a lot of people. Okay. I was just in Austin, right? And I was at the Vulcan at the bar watching other comics. Vulcan's cool, yeah. And then this guy walks up to me and he goes like this.

He goes, hey, man, are you Eddie Griffin? You know? And I go like this. I go like this I go like this no I just said no and he knew but he knew

he knew who you were he knew right you just got the names mixed up no and he locked away and then like 20 minutes later he walks back up and he goes

hey man I'm so sorry I called you it's Eric and I was like yeah man how you doing Eddie Griffin is hilarious when we're at the gym this guy comes up to me.

I'm on the bench. He goes, bro, I got to ask you. We just see him staring at me. Yeah. And then finally comes over. He goes, dude, I just killed me. I got to ask, are you Tom Hardy? And I go, what?

Now I can't unsee that. And I go, what? Tom Hardy's 5'6". Are you Tom Hardy? I go, have you ever seen Tom Hardy? No, I haven't. He's this big. Tom Cruise is three feet.

You know what I mean? Dude, some guy came up to me once. Okay. And he said, hey, man, huge fan. Love what you do. You got it. And then started saying all this shit. I don't remember what he said, but he said something like, yo, the way you play is fucking this and that.

He walked away and I'm like, he thought I was Paul Gasol. That makes more sense even though he's seven foot tall cause you're still you're tall I'm gonna change the way you think

about this it happened at the comedy store oh that's tough okay well this guy was a real idiot I was gonna say he has a moron

yeah and he wasn't fucking with me I told you guys if I said this on this podcast about like I was in Vegas and the guy was like, are you an Eric Griffin impersonator? Yeah. I'm in Vegas. And he says, are you an Eric Griffin impersonator?

And I had to be like, well, first of all, what would you need an Eric Griffin impersonator for? And I was like, how much is it? Because you could probably get Eric Griffin. That's not Pauly's fault. I look like a lot of basketball players, honestly. Well, yeah, because there's so many European fans. A lot of foreign basketball players, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're… I don't know what it is. Yeah, it's so weird. I told Eric, I took my kid to the All-Star game last night. It's a home run derby. We're in a suite. It's a dope suite. There's derby we're in a sweet dope sweet there's everyone around my son it's 45 minutes even i was a little bored you know he's not a

bratty kid he appreciates everything but kid he 45 minutes in they're just hitting home runs yeah yeah yeah dad are the dodgers playing i'm like nobody i told you this is like all-stars they hit home runs that score points he's like oh okay uh how much longer do we have i was like what you don't like it here he's like no it's cool no i appreciate it it's cool and i'm like that boy's a delia bro dude and i go he might be i go dude you're in the best seat in the house we're in a sweet dude i said look over there you got the in magic johnson next to me is kevin durant looking sweet i go you know who that is that's the most famous that's the best basketball player on earth dude he can sit anywhere he wants he sits here this is the best seat in the house and he points

down to the front row he goes well no those are the and i go dude i'm telling you they're in the sun you can't see shit this is the best seat and i started getting upset and i go that's kevin durant he can sit anywhere on skim grant best basketball player on earth kevin durant can hear him he goes that's not lebron james yeah he's for sure delia yeah oh yeah yeah yeah i went i pretend i hear my you know what this is like though have you guys ever experienced this you have a problem you have like say a friend or like a family member who's like maybe not they've never been to L.A. or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you find yourself trying to be fancy.

Yeah. And you take them to like a really nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're in there like this. Oh, you know, what's. Yeah. What's. Is this.

You get like an appetite. And they're just like, I don't know what that is. Yeah. And then, you know, you're like, this is the most. Yeah. You get pissed. I get pissed. You.

You have any idea? After this, Bob's big boy. Yeah. You get pissed. I get pissed. You have any idea? After this, Bob's big boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're going after this. Dude, yeah. Because that's also an LA staple. Fuck it. But I mean, I had some friends coming from Colorado.

They live in like a little small town. And I was like, oh, I took them to this downtown fancy place. And the way they were acting, I was like, I'm done with you motherfuckers. My dad was great. We were at Friday's after this. Oh, I like that. That gets my blood going in a good way. No, dude. No, fuck that. fancy place and the way they were acting I was like I'm done with you motherfuckers my dad went Friday I like that that gets my blood going in a good way

no fuck that people I'm done with you motherfuckers dude my dad went on vacation to Italy he loves Italy he started like

he says he knows Italian which he doesn't that's great so I take him to my hands down my favorite I take him to my favorite restaurant on the fucking planet

Scopa which is Italian I go do you like Italian dad this is the best Italian Scopa it's in Venice drive down there they pull out the red carpet he's eating fucking pasta I go what do you think he goes this place wouldn't make it in Italy oh bro that is

on real dude that is unreal, dude. That is. Sounds like a guy that takes a learning annex class, and now he's an expert. Bro, the manager comes over, and he goes, do you have any capperere? And the guy goes, he's Italian.

He's like, what? Capperere? The guy's like, what? My dad's like, I'm sorry. I just got back from Italy. It's a cheese. And the guy's like, no, I've never heard of it, man. And my dad's like, where are you from?

He's like, Italy. Oh, that's great. Dude, check this out. We see where you got it from. We went to Italy. Yeah, yeah. We went to Italy as a family. I was 19, and my parents and my brother and all.

My dad was trying to do, what is it? It's the poll I said to put up. I beat you again. What was the poll again? You know, what would you rather have at the office? An oops guy or Montez? No, but there, it says oops button.

You got to say Chris in live saying oops. Yeah, not just the button. Oh, you explained it? Okay. I got it. Okay. So, I'd still be,

I'd do it. No, he'd be better in that room for sure. But wait, what was I saying? Oh yeah. So my dad, we were in Italy

and my dad was asking for cheese and he would say it, he learned it in Italian. He was like, But wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. So we were in Italy, and my dad was asking for cheese. And he would say it. He learned it in Italian. He was like, do you guys have? And he would always do the fuck. I was like, just say cheese, right? It's triggering.

It's so triggering. We found out halfway through the trip, he was asking for the word for little church. Oh. Not cheese. He just said no fucking question. Whatever it was. It was like queso or whatever. It meant little church. He was asking for little church. Oh. Not cheese. He said no fucking church. Whatever it was. It was like queso or whatever. It meant little church.

He was asking for little church. So my stepfather is like, he's the whitest Irish white guy. You know, sweetest guy though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my mom was, at the time, was like learning Spanish because they were going to move to Spain. So she was like doing like the Rosetta Stone or whatever. All that shit. But every time they would going to move to Spain. So she was doing the Rosetta Stone or whatever.

But every time they would go to a Mexican restaurant, my mom catches herself being like, you know, agua por favor, blah, blah, blah. The way we look, it's like, that's fine. But my stepfather would do it. Oh, that's funny. So one time I was with them and then the guy comes over and my stepfather's like, agua

por favor, you know? And the guy's like, and my stepfather's like, agua, por favor. And the guy's like, you want some water? The Mexican dude? Yeah. You want some water? And you could tell he was really like, you know. You know, I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

But he was like, but I had to tell him. But he was so innocent. My stepfather was innocent. But like some people get offended by that. Like, you know, it'm saying? I speak English. But my dad, my dad, he'll pretend he knows Spanish at even like American Mexican restaurants. Like the waiter, he'll be like, uh, senor, senor. And I'm like, that's a black dude. Like you don't have to speak Spanish.

And I'm like, check, por favor. You would have to do that more at Denny's. Yeah. You know what I mean? If you're talking to a cook, you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's ridiculous. Like, how is it? Bueno, bueno. I'm like, dad, at Denny's. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, true. If you're talking to a cook. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's ridiculous. You're like, how is it?

Bueno, bueno. I'm like, that just fucking ain't good. Yeah. That guy's Asian. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. That was good.

Yeah, that was fun. Bueno, I'm coming to San Diego this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Laugh Factory, downtown San Diego. Last time I was there, I was featuring for you, buddy. That was fun. That's such a good club. That was fun. That club is awesome.

That's why I do it. If you're in San Diego, you got to go see Brennan. But also, you got to go to the club. The club is awesome. Yeah, Laugh Factory, San Diego is fantastic. To just see him there will be awesome. Yep. What else you got?

Anything? This Thursday, Friday, Saturday with the Thick Boy crew. And then after that, I'm in Baltimore first week of August. And then August 26, I'm at the Den Theater in Chicago one night only at 730. One show one night only, 730 downtown Chicago, Den Theater. Because on the 27th is the Tough Mudder in Chicago, the Thick Mudder. I'm at the 10 a.m. heat. Sign up.

Use the promo code TEAMBRENDON. You save 10% and you get to run with your thick friend here. And then end of September, I'm in Boston. But San Diego, you're up. Tickets are thick. I got Grand Prairie, Texas, which is Dallas, basically August 26th. Wichita, Kansas, August 27th. Atlanta, Georgia, September 9th.

Washington, D.C., September 10th. And I got a bunch of other dates. Those are the ones coming up soon, but I got a bunch of other dates. Go to crystalia.com for tickets and also crystalia.com for your oops button. Yeah, I'm going to get a woo, woo, woo button. Don't fucking infringe on my fucking shares, dude. Come on. It's going to be come on it's gonna be great that's my money that's gonna be a perfect yeah that'll be good that'll be good get it louder what are

you doing just when you're it's gonna be way louder it's not gonna be all oh wait you know what you're gonna be all you know what you know what it's gonna be your shit should be a necklace that you could press when you're partying because that's's a fun thing. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Yeah. All right. Is that it? No tours? No, nothing right now. No tour dates?

Because this came out on, man, I was getting married and shit, so I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, but you probably missed me at the Irvine Improv. Because that was today. Oh, is that tomorrow?

It's Thursday. Tomorrow and, oh, it's today, tonight? Oh, how's the PS5? Oh, it's great. Oh, wait, what have you been playing? Anything?

I started to play Fortnite, right? Okay. Here's my problem. I had to get rid of the account, and I had to wait 14 days so I could hook it up to the same one as my Xbox. Oh. It's a whole thing. Okay.

But it's great. That shit is big compared to everything else. Yeah, it's big. I know. And you set it up like this? Yeah. It's like, dude, it's going to fall. Just do that way.

No, I have it because I have it in a spot. But earthquakes, though, is what I'm saying. I have it in a spot. I was playing The Last of Us the other day. It's great. You play? I don't play it. I just did last night for the first time in five, six months.

I got it here. Do you have it at your house? I have PlayStation 5, yeah. See, I got to get a different controller because I like the paddles. What is it? The paddles underneath. I play like, I need this. That's what the controller is? No, no, no. Oh, oh i know what you're talking about i'm talking about the finger paddles

like yeah i don't even know that's some jesus christ nerds yeah he's got the he's got the new paddle yeah but you have one too you know i got one controller and i got the regular one dude last night i got it as a gift is that it it? Yeah, that's it. All right, kids. Love you. Buzz, buzz. Gang, gang. Soar. Woo, woo, woo. Ooh, nice. Hoaxery one. I like that. Boyz II Men.

It's the king and the sting. Back up in the sting. I just got a call that said they want to end the ring. They got me working OT all night long. How many times I got to make this song? Hey, hold on. What is this? Now y'all wanna switch?

Y'all just added Stevie and Eric and now y'all adding Chris? How's that gonna fit? Wait, I get the gist. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this. It's the king, the wing, and the sting. It's the wing and the king and the sting. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, wait a minute, let me think.

It's the king and the sting and the wing. Let's go. King and the sting and the wing let's go king and the sting and the wing brought it full circle and put on the whole team legendary trio bringing chris and theo what you mean you know it's the king and the sting and the wing