The Golden Hour - Episode 186: Who Poops in a Pool?!

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

The guys talk good looking serial killers, Brendan's cowboy doppelgänger, Comic-Con, Breaking Bad vs Game Of Thrones, Best TV shows, talking to strangers babies, Elon Musk's dad and stepdaughter controversy, Airplane the movie, all new KATS In The Wild, shaving your pits and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bro, there is no question I'd rather have my knees not bent. I'd rather have my arms. Bro, you're not thinking about this. You're not thinking it through, man. You're just going like, oh, I'm gonna run. That'd be nice. But no, but it... It is weird to be running like this.

Yeah, yeah. Running like this. And then you're sweating, but you can't wipe your own forehead You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one You can't argue There's something about me You have no idea what you're saying

Gang, gang Buzz, buzz So So, Eric, you had the One of the cops on who actually caught you? No, I did George Lopez's podcast. Oh, and he had him on. Yeah. No, they do a podcast together.

Oh, damn. Yeah. They do a podcast together. It's a cop. I don't even know. What's the guy talking about after you're done talking about the Night Stalker? Yeah. I was so fascinated.

I just kept asking him questions about it. Yeah, but so every episode's about the Night Stalker a little bit? No, it's just about, like, a true crime and that kind of thing. It is? Yeah. George Lopez does – Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious.

But it just gets in a bunch of stuff. Most handsome serial killer of all time. I don't know, man. Especially when he has teeth. When he got his teeth fixed? Yeah, I think Jeffrey Dahmer got him beat. No, you're going to say Ted Bundy. No, no, no, Ted Bundy.

Ted Bundy is the one. Jeffrey Dahmer. Ted Bundy. I think Ed Gaines was really attractive yeah big guy all right fuck mary kill don't ask them i would like to ask him if it was about the night stalker though uh you know this is in the 70s and he would creep through the windows and at the time the police stations didn't talk, so they couldn't figure out that he was killing all these people in different areas.

But you couldn't have the Night Stalker in 2022 because everyone has air conditioning. Nobody leaves their windows open. He ain't creeping through my door with that ring security. Who's that on the left? Ed Gein. That is him? Yeah.

I'm not scared. Is that Brian Callen? I was about to say. Umber Fudd. And the guy on the right, the Night Stalker, looks like Theo. Wow, Theo and Brian Callen right there. That's Theo and Brian. I mean, yeah.

It feels like long lost. If he had glasses in the bag, that'd be me, right? Yeah. There we go. That's Theo's kid if he had a baby in the background girl remember he's gonna oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you you uh you're attractive or what you think am I attracted yeah am I attracted to the no you're attractive right you got a good shirt on and you got a fucking your forehead's nice too dude oh you like the four nah you're just an attractive guy oh thanks man i'm an la6 nah dude you're not you're you're more than that it's it's annoying frankly your forehead and it it like slopes down in like a nice way and like

you you got brows and they're pronounced and it's just go fuck yourself it's good though it works for you it works for see that picture I sent from that one that looks like him? Is it Tom Hardy? Oh, yeah. No, it was like this movie. Somebody sent it to me. Oh, yeah. I saw that.

Guys, I'm stressed out, man. I'm going to be in fucking Dallas. What the fuck? Got to go to crystalia.com for tickets. Jesus Christ. Just been weighing on me. Oh, I got the dopest freaking hat for you for Dallas. Is it a cowboy hat? I mean, I have a cowboy

if you want. There you are right there. That is you, bro. That is you. What movie is it? I don't view myself. Honestly? You don't see you in it? Are you kidding me? For real, being real, you dress

like that. Yes. You have a hat like that. Oh yeah. I got another one coming too from Daisy Mae. With an oversized jacket. What is this hat that you're going to get from Daisy Mae? And what is Daisy Mae? Daisy Mae.

He makes custom hats like those. Daisy is his name? No. Oh, it's just a brand. That's his brand, Daisy Mae. So he makes hats for like ZZ Top. He just made a collab with uh post malone like he's okay cool cool yeah cool he's dope so does he go to crystalia.com to get tickets to dallas

or no whoever right anyone anyone i get it okay he was like i'm trying to figure out how to get tickets uh in dallas crystal ladies like but i'm so annoyed because i gotta be in baltimore august 4th through the 6th at your shows oh in baltimore next week thursday friday saturday i'm in baltimore and then he goes and then what's crazy about that is that wichita chrisley.com you gotta go to wichita no no no he didn't say that what he goes dude i'll be in chicago august 26 one night only at the den theater because you're there oh okay okay and then i told him i said get tickets at thickboy.com yeah so he didn't say anything about atlanta.C. ChrisLea.com. He did. He did. He did. Oh, September 9th. Okay, cool.

So anyway. Oh, wow. There it is, dude. That's you. Wow. That's like you dressed up as that guy for Halloween. Unbelievable. His nose is better, though.

Yeah. Well, you know, who is that guy, honestly? And I'll be at La Jolla. Wow. So sad. So lame. So sad. No energy.

September 9th to the 11th. No energy. No energy. Well, I had to look and see. I know, dude. I was like, do I have something coming up? Yeah, I do. Dude, I was in San Diego during Comic-Con.

Oh, yeah. How was it? Dude, it was lit. You've been there. That's the reason I did the club, because I featured for you there. Yeah, yeah. Great club, Laugh Factory San Diego. But, dude, Comic-Con, I thought it was like kids, like teenagers.

Oh, bro. bro bro there's people like eric dressed up as fucking popeye there's people dressed up as eric yeah bro it's it's it's fucking we saw seven movies dude it is an insane thing i went to comic-con when i was in eighth grade and it was just one room bro it was just one room with a like a few booths and like i would get the guy's signatures and bro it is unbelievable now man yeah back then it would be like those kind of dudes that walk on hollywood boulevard yeah yeah dressed as spider-man with a fanny yeah yeah now you know what i mean bro like hot chicks dressed up and no way dude back then no way no now it's like movie quality outfits. I thought it was Spider-Man.

They announce movies there now. All the stars come. Marvel pays up the gazoo. They had Chris Pratt there. They had all the big ones there. But they had, yeah, they had, what's his name? Who's the guy from Breaking Bad? The main guy.

Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston. They had Bryan Cranston dressed as Bryan Cranston. Remember he had the, do you hear about this? He had the mask on and he was walking around like the Breaking Bad guy. And then he walked up on the podium and he took it off and it was really him. And everyone was like, what? It was you? Funny.

I didn't realize how big it was. It was chaos. It's crazy, bro. It's crazy. Yeah, this part right here. People realized, too, they were bumping into an incredibly realistic Heisenberg mask that people realized, too, they were bumping into. He said he walked the floor in the mask trying to use a higher voice pretending to be a fan.

Isn't that funny? He added, so it was fun meeting you, and you met me. Yep, and that's how the- Isn't that funny? I've never seen that show. You know what I do? If he was like, oh, it's really cool. I go, very cool, dude.

Oh, wow. I keep going. You've never seen Breaking Bad? No, I have no desire. You know when I watched it? Over the pandemic And you loved it? It's the best show I've ever been

Yeah You're crazy It is But you know what? I feel this energy though Because sometimes I was two years late on it Because when people start talking

About something I just watched it I know but when people Start talking about something You go I'm out 100% Like I still haven't watched

Mad Men I think that's a comedian thing because you are like, I'm not going to be a part of whatever anyone else is doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Everyone's going that way. I go this way. I do that too.

I was six years late on Game of Thrones. I made fun of dragons for years. Yeah, yeah. And now my favorite show of all time. I watched it. I watched three seasons. I think I might even watch four. And I was like, when does it?

I'm not a Game of Thrones guy. When does it what? When does it get good? God, you're the worst. But you like Breaking Bad? Yeah, it's great. It's the best show of all time. Here's my thing with Breaking Bad.

Hold on. So he's going to sell whatever meth, cook meth, his teacher's wife has cancer. All right, got it. Nah, teach her wife has cancer. All right, got it. Nah, you're a fucking movie. That's the dumbest thing that has ever been said on this podcast. Are you kidding me?

I went like this. Come on, man. That is so crazy. Talk about an oversimplification. Check, please. Dude, the acting, when he, I'm not going to spoil it. No, please do. No, I'm not going to spoil it.

But when he's on the phone, it's like one of the last episodes, talking to his wife. Yeah. And saying, yeah, was saying the thing about how like you had nothing to do with it and you know you did. And he's, bro. He finally admitted like who he was like. Oh, there's a different level of acting. Yeah. I go, oh, I'll quit Hollywood. Oh, Mr. Acting's easy.

Yeah. Remember? Yeah. Remember Mr. Acting's easy? No, no, no, no, no. But most of it. No, no, most of it. I'm with him, I'll quit Hollywood. Oh, Mr. Acting's Easy. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. Remember Mr. Acting's Easy? No, no, no, no, no. But most of it. No, no, most of it. I'm with him on that. Most of it.

His part, he can't play that part. I mean, nobody can play that part. Christian Bale, him. Bring up my scene from I'm Dying Up Here. I love that show. That guy and Eric Griffin. Christian Bale, dude, I know you're not going to see this movie. I know he's so great.

People say he's so great in Thor. He is so good in Thor. I'll see that movie. You know what, though? I won not going to see this movie. I know he's so great. People say he's so great in Thor. He is so good in Thor. I'll see that movie. You know what, though? I won't. Here's two villains. The dude that was in Wonder Woman 2, that guy that plays the villain in Wonder Woman 2, he shouldn't have been in the movie because he was so good.

Like, he was bringing stuff to this where he's like, yo, dude, this is Wonder Woman. Like, you tone it down. There is. That guy's so good. And Christian Bale was that good. Hold on. Okay, what's Wonder Woman 2? Who's the guy in Wonder Woman 2? You like Wonder Woman 2? I saw Wonder Woman. Tone it down. That guy's so good. And Christian Bale was that good. Okay, what's Wonder Woman 2? Who's the guy in Wonder Woman 2? You like Wonder Woman 2?

I saw Wonder Woman 1. It was fine. No, no, no. I saw Wonder Woman. But I'm saying the guy that was the villain. I know. I'm just asking what was your opinion on Wonder Woman 2, though. It was fine.

Wonder Woman 1 was one of the worst movies that I've ever seen in my life. Oh, my God. Wait, wait, wait. Which one's the 1984 one? That's Wonder Woman 2. Oh, that's the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. 80s music. Worst movie I've ever seen in my life.

But the guy that was the villain. The guy from Narcos? Yeah. What I'm saying is he was out of place. Eric, Eric, Eric. He was out of place. That movie was so bad. That guy's a great actor.

Yeah. But he was okay in that. Yeah. That movie was so bad. Because there was nothing around him to support it. Let me tell you something right now, okay? I know the problem. Let me tell you.

I know the problem. Go ahead. No, but there was a scene he was having with his Let me tell you something right now, okay? I know the problem. I know the problem. Go ahead. No, but there was a scene he was having with his kid. I was like, no, this is out of place. The movie The Gray Man is bad. Ryan Gosling is phenomenal in it. I love The Gray Man. That's different, bro.

Wonder Woman 84 is so bad that nobody's good in it. I thought the guy was good. The Gray Man is fine. Wonder Woman 84, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. There's no 80s music. It's insane. Take a note from fucking Stranger Things 2. We built this city.

I don't do duets, but you know. We built this city on rock and roll. Was this the last song? Yeah. We built this city. I don't do duets, but. We built this city on rock and roll. You go high during the fucking good parts. See, but that's when I get out because I can't. to answer, but we built this city on a rock and roll. You go high during the fucking good parts.

See, but that's when I get out because I can't. In your invisible jet. We built this city. We built it. Whoa, she just. But I think this is. On the toilet of the invisible jet shitting. We built this city.

Wait, wait, wait. Eric, I think this is part of the problem. Can we get to this guy's no definition face? No, no, no, no. Yeah, this guy. Is it? Wow, that's amazing. He's no definition face. No, no, no. Yeah, this guy is it No cheek structure When my son draws humans this what they look like there's no ears but hold up though this guy's got He's on a cheap boat!

No, he kind of looks like Chin if Chin used moisturizer. Like his skin is flawless. All he is is Chin. This guy's... Yeah, he should be the real Chin. Your nickname has been taken away. This is the real Chin. I don't even have a chin.

This is also the real life Quagmire from Family Guy. Dude, hold on. His ears are a little bit further Guy. Dude, hold on. His ears are a little bit further back. His ears are in the back. Like a Dover and Pinscher? Dude, you touch it, walk up behind him, you say, I heard that. He's going to go like this.

What? Hold on. Hey, hey. Speak into my good ear. Speak into my good ear. And they're small, too. There he is. There he is. That's cool. Oh, man. Like his ears are touching. they're small, too. There he is. There he is.

That's cool. Oh, man. Like, his ears are touching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So far back, his ears are touching. You're a handsome dude, though. Oh, yeah. And somehow. You know what?

I'm so sorry, dude. You're watching. I apologize, but you are a character. And somehow he's still handsome. He's still got it. Yeah, he's a good-looking dude. Yeah, he's definitely a good-looking dude. Fanny pack, chain.

All right, let's see what's up. Hey, Chris, let's take a little break from just talking about nothing. Cool, because I'm tired of that. Are you tired of that? This sounds more interesting. It is more interesting because you like money, right? Love it. Daddy has bills, and then you're such a big UFC fan.

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I'm in LA. He's in LA. He's in LA. Now, let's go. Oh, when he's in LA, we're scared now. Chin. He came to my restaurant. I work out at the EMC.

That's awesome. I'm blessed. Good to meet him. I work at the EMC. It's awesome. I'm blessed. I get to meet him. I have a king in a sting for you. Saying hi to random people's babies while I'm walking around. Every time. I love babies. Every time.

Or just kids. And I just want to say hi. But they get nervous sometimes. And the parents, I don't know if they like it or not. What do you think about that? They're talking to babies. Do they have COVID or allergies? Keep sniffing.

Well, with your weird head structure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The baby's thinking, where are his ears? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore. This poor guy. He's such a nice guy, too. Chris, you're an alpha. I love you.

Hell yeah, bro. Yes! Not after he sees this. Yes, dude! No, dude. In in this room but in this room chris with my mind with my mind you could kill me but with my mind with my there's something about him thing with my my that thing my that your energy dude if we were on an island you'd be getting the coconuts bro dude this guy don't talk to people's babies oh you can talk to baby well you can go high yeah i know but i do every time yeah but okay everything you know yes you this guy's walking towards you it's you you you're your wife wife and your and calvin's like a little kid you know and this guy's just walking and he just stops you in front of you while you're walking and

he just leans into your victory oh well yeah that's oh there oh my god is that what he's talking about well that's what i'm saying yeah that's too much he's saying any kid any baby if you're just walking by like oh cute baby yeah yeah okay fine and i i just wait for the baby I swear, but if you're just like Hey weirdo, who are you? I bet you did exactly that. Holy fucking shit. Yeah, Eric would scare everybody Yeah That's what people do man they see yeah they do they do they do they start they are like a baby but if it's a grown man by himself yeah i'm like catch a predator you know what i'm saying yeah i mean it depends their

energy dude if you yeah i think anything anything more than oh hi hey buddy oh what you got you got a cool shirt anything more than that you know but don't touch them well no definitely don't touch them dude by the way rule number one first of all hey cool shirt to a baby i'm just saying maybe they got like a race car conversations with a baby like fuck off man hey cool shirt where'd you get it that's why my son is advanced. I talk to him like a motherfucker. Whatever the fuck. He's got a race car on his shirt or something. You go, oh, nice. And then you move on, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't keep in touch with him. Yeah. Yeah, you're not right. Can I get your email? Can I get your email? Does he have a cell phone? No, he's two months old.

He's three. It's the most weird Asian guy day. This is chins. Yeah. This is chins. Guys, this is Chris from the Chicagoland area. I've got a debate club for you. So back in the day, they used to joke about Chris running his dogs

for pictures on Instagram or social media. I used to think he was kidding until Kellen was born, right? We haven't seen those dogs since. It was like sand and butter or something like that. We haven't seen them on Chris' Instagram page. That's true. The big club is, was Chris actually renting his dogs on social media?

You're renting them? I got one for you. Big money. Chris D'Elia. Aww. Look at that. He's like 12. But let me know.

Hit me up. Anyways, love what you guys are doing. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Bring your dogs to work. I should. You know what's funny, bro? Sting it. Sting what?

The dogs to work? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's funny is, okay, so. Dogs and kids, by the way. So, yeah, I do. I have four dogs, okay? Right now? Yes, I have Sam Butters, which I've had them for 12 years.

Too many, right? This reminds me of your first wife. I don Sam Butters, which I've had them for 12 years. Too many, right? This reminds me of your first wife. I don't know if it's real. Those are the ones that Theo says that I rented. Okay. Then I got with Kristen. She had a dog, and that's Cooper. That's a big dog.

Okay. Then we found a dog, which I've talked about on my podcast. Congratulations. Go on over and subscribe to Supercall. Well, I haven't posted about them in a long time, bro. Yeah. Look,

you got kidnapped. So fuck them dogs. No. So that's what happened. You would see like, it's like you, you act like, Oh no,

those are the other two. Those are the other two. This is hilarious though. But they're two of the four, so we can get it, you know, we're going to do that. We're going to see if you are,

this is so funny. Watch this Cooper on the right and Chen's AKA trash dog on the left. We'll see what good boys you are. I like his ears. Watch this. Cooper on the right and Chens, aka Trash Dog, on the left. We'll see what good boys you are. I like his ears. Food snack challenge. Watch this. Sit. Sit. Watch this. Sit. No. No. Because there's food on the ground. No. You see it?

You put a little treat down. Cooper's such a good boy. Now, this is the dog. After him is the dog that we found what a good boy he is right yeah can we edit a little bit of this nah bro you keep the whole thing it's cinematic good boy you're a good boy now watch this now we do the chance thing now we found chance in panorama look at this motherfucker already look look now you take the trash panda no no he's like what he's like i'm never gonna see food again dude so now i do have those dogs now okay the other day so here's the thing calvin has become

my whole life i'm not gonna post pictures of the dogs right by the way cut to like if you were to pan to the right his his two dogs that he owns are just sitting there like this no treat what happened to us so hold on old news so hold on so i got the fucking um so so i came home the other day and my and kristen was acting kind of i always talk about how i don't like think about the dogs and how like i haven't fed the dogs in years she does it you know or my assistant or something right and so it's a joke that like you don't even give a fuck about the dogs so kristen uh was being weird the whole time and like taking video of me and uh an hour later she took video of me and she was like do you notice anything different and i was like what and she's like do you notice how quiet it is and i was like what are you talking about and she was like is there anything different going on right now and i was like no oh yeah it is

kind of quiet and she's like could you think about what it might be and she got on video i should post it but she was like the dogs aren't here and i was like oh yeah dude i don't even fucking think about the dog i didn't even know how fucking horrible is that my assistant had him and fucking she was there there there that's probably that's probably the last don't say assistant though what do i say uh just say helper helper Helper? Helper? That's worse. That's way worse. Isn't it? You could say the help.

Oh, the help? What are you like, what is this, 1805? The help took my dogs. The help took the dogs for the day. That's butters. Yeah, I do still have the dogs, but I just don't post about them. Yeah, you're right. I mean, Mike brings his dog here.

The thing about Mike's dog, who's head of Thick Boy Production, his dog is 79 years old, blind, no teeth. Yeah, this guy has cancer in six spots. Mike just keeps this thing alive. The dog's like, bro, let me go. Yeah, yeah. This dog is trying to like. You get food out, and he just can't see, and he has no teeth, and he just kind of looks for it.

He's a real vibe killer. Whose dog is this? Mike's. Mike's. He had a Thick Boy. Yeah, it this? Mike's. You had a big one. Yeah, it's like you're having some fun and then the sick dog comes in. You're kind of like, oh, man, this is a downer. Dogs are supposed to be happy.

And he has like two. King it or sting it, sick dog. No, king or sting it, keeping your sick dog alive. Dude, on the back of his feet, like his hips have gone. Hip dysplasia. Not even that, he's just 90. But he wears two Crocs on the back of his fucking legs. What?

And he gets to like skate across. Bro, that dog, you know what, that dog, I've seen, that dog's going to have a leash on him and then jump over a fence and just hang himself. That happened once. And my uncle told me about that story. This dog fucking jumped. You're a bad person. that happened once and my uncle told me about that story this dog fucking jumped dude my uncle my uncle is a fucking

insane person he always tells that shit like this he's like dude I knew a dog that hung himself and he jumped this is like a Theo story

and the dog fucking was on the leash jumped over a fence and didn't and was hung wasn't trying to get out it was just like Jesus how awful is that you see a dog fucking the other person you see the dog hung himself on the thing and didn't and was hung I wasn't trying to get out it was just like Jesus

how awful is AC your dog fucking the other person you see the dog hung himself on the thing like it's the fucking Handmaid's Tale on the wall yeah

Jesus you watch Handmaid's Tale I'm trying to again another depressing show yeah it's like I'd rather watch that show first season's fine it's no

it's all yeah the first season's fine because you're it's so depressing it takes 12 episodes to realize how fucking not really that good it is it's no it's all yeah the first season's fine because you're depressing it takes 12 episodes to realize how a not really that good it is it's so boring because you're like you're like all right all right taking this time okay okay and then you're like okay and you go all right i'm out then do it if it's gonna take it's like when i watched one season i was out what shows do you

like well i mean obviously breaking breakingrano. Let me say. It's all Soprano. What's a new show? Is there no new show that you like? Yeah, hold on. There is. I started watching. Oh, fucking. I honestly have the worst memory.

Bates Motel? No. You're a Bates Motel guy? It's fine. Good show. My favorite show ever to watch was Lost. To watch. Now, I know.

I understand that that's not like at the level as Breaking Bad. Hold on. Honestly. Yeah, thank you. But to watch was lost. To watch. Now, I know, I understand that that's not like at the level as Breaking Bad. Honestly, yeah, thank you. But to watch it, to watch it and to keep flipping and next one, next one. That's like a guilty pleasure for you. Yes, exactly.

That was like the original like serial long binge watching show. Yeah, yeah. And the ending, I just, I never watched it. It looked stupid as shit. But the ending,

everyone got all upset about, right? They're idiots. Just fades to black. They're idiots. All endings. It's not bad. All endings are hard. It's hard to end a series. Yeah, 100%. It's like People's Shit idiots. Just fades to black. They're idiots. All endings. It's not bad. Endings are hard. It's hard to end a series.

100%. It's like People Shit on Game of Thrones season eight. I loved it. It's my favorite season. Oh, that was terrible. Stop it. There you go.

That's the narrative. Yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievably bad. The last season. Disagree. They got lazy. Capture.

Capture is a good show on Peacock. You watch boring stuff, huh? No, that's BBC. BBC's killing it, dude. Honestly. You don't watch Yellow huh? No, that's BBC. BBC's killing it, dude, honestly. You don't watch Yellowstone, 1883? Come on. Dude, I don't watch it yet.

I'll wait a few years. I wait till it's over and to see if it held the test of time. Oh, you know what was a good one? And then I watch it. What's that one? Oh, man. It was like a hole in the ground. It's a Western.

Oh, yeah. What's his name? Brolin? Yeah. Oh, Westbrook. Westbrook? No, Josh Brolin. No, west brolin no josh brolin no josh brolin it's like this like oh men in black three no no no josh brolin it's called like underworld or some bullshit outer world outer world right or shadow world outer range outer range you don't fuck with like ozark stranger i saw season one it was good then i turn on season two sometimes

with these netflix shows with these binge shows like they wait too long to come out and i'm like all right i i i forget what happened bro dude you know i'm with you yeah you know you know what's good is that show dark was that that german show that show is fucking good as shit dude hey hey what i don't like about binge watching hey do you have do you have anything current dude well that's that's pretty current dark is pretty good like not so niche i don't know you won't watch breaking bad yeah bro this guy's niche i'm definitely not watching what are you watching name a show dude stranger things narcos is fine narcos is fine but dude they need to stop with the fucking voiceover dude the there's so much it's like i know what i'm watching motherfuckers it's like and then you speak spanish no no no well

that's why they have no no no the fucking guy is like and then the narcos was ahead of us there and we went to the narcos and then what the narcos didn't know was we were four steps ahead of them it's like dude i'm watching the fucking. It's like you're watching a show and someone's next to you and like, dude, the guy's walking in the fucking thing now. I like that.

You know why? Because you're an idiot. That's why. Dude, you just watch the fucking show, bro. Bro. Bro. Bro.

You didn't like Stranger Things? It's all style baby It's all style Oh man Look at this fucking guy Oh this is my boy Austin Yeah He's a great music

Musician Wow this is Popeye He did the Arizona song That made Chris cry Oh Oh yeah you can't listen to He's about to cry Is this the skipper

From Brigham's Island? Chris Theo Eric Who's ever there this week? Because, you know, you guys are switching it up. It's not real. I wanted to get a king of their stinging on my guy, my fearless leader, my mentor, my professor, Andrew Tate. He's got a lot of hot takes that kind of got the Internet in a little bit of a frenzy. Some would say he's a little bit sexist. I think he's just dropping knowledge.

You don't know him? Yeah. I want to know. Is that funny guy? Gang gang. Cobra Tate. Buzz buzz. So.

Wait, who is he? Hell yeah. Tate, he's the, wasn't he a professional kickboxer? Yeah. He's like a real ladies' man, like real alpha. I don't know him. Oh, wait, yeah, him oh yeah yeah this guy's the first one to have him yeah so you're the first one to like bring him to the podcast

it was crazy like on all my social medias in like the last week all of a sudden he's taken right every account he's been in every show but he's basically a pimp which is i want to feel respected in the household okay so i follow him on tiktok meals i'm assuming well truthfully i eat out most of the time yeah but this is actually one of the problems i have i want you guys to feel respected in the household. Okay. I follow him on TikTok. Cooking meals, I'm assuming. Well, truthfully, I eat out most of the time. Yeah. But this is actually one of the problems I have. I want you guys to feel sorry for me. Maybe with your big channel, we can start charity and get some money going. Because you know what happens now?

What? My life, you know, I'm flying on private jets. I'm eating in all these restaurants. I'm driving all these supercars. And it's very hard for me to find a way for women to show me respect. Because they're just like on the jet duh i go to the restaurant duh they're in the club duh that's what i'm saying you know i mean and they're like and most dudes are happy just give it a pussy he goes get rid of he goes in and out of the english

accent american right yeah no this guy this guy's made some fucking phenomenal points i'll tell you that much he really has like i mean he i i think a lot of it is character but like i mean you know what's his points oh yeah he'll do like about the government and just talk about yeah everything yeah and i'm like huh i was like i've heard of him his big thing is being uh he uses the matrix as like an analogy for today's society and you have to detach you have to detach from the matrix otherwise you get caught by the government, uh, like during COVID, all the restrictions, but he's become independently wealthy where he has 11 Pat passports. He could fly over all over the world during COVID.

And he's not like, uh, captive to societal pressures. I don't know. Cause he has so much money though. Yeah. Him and every rich dude. How's he have so much money? Uh, he, his first thing, like him and his brother. Yeah.

They managed webcam girls. And now he's just parlaying it and he has Hustlers University, which I talked to Austin. He's subscribed for 50 bucks a month and he teaches how to make people get wealthy. 50 bucks a month? Yeah, and he's got like, I don't know.

He said on Dave Portnoy's show, he has 87,000 monthly subscribers. He could totally be lying. Well, everyone always lies. Just to get hoes uh and yeah no be successful yeah oh but you could sign up for that just hose get hoes but he's he's also polarizing because people say he's misogynist and stuff but he's an entertainer for sure yeah it's an it but it's an act yeah um says tom spit coffee out of his nose yeah here's the here's the

part of that get rid of that won't respect me crap that's not real is that real you know what so many women say to me you're so andrew you know what you're so rich but you're smart and you're actually very intelligent and i know you'd get really bored of a like a robot and i'm sitting there thinking bitch i wish to god you're a robot shut the fuck up we talk about star signs oh yeah I'm so glad tell me more about by Sagittarius Rising idiots I don't give a fuck

give me a robot all men want robots that's all we want four live robots inshallah put the put the put the burqa on

what are you talking about we don't care two yeah wow you know Eric's not Eric you're not feeling it Eric signed up

I have two accounts have a ghost account he makes sure I'm getting all the he's not just he's a character I mean he's a kid he's learned how to hustle it so I appreciate it yeah so look uh MMA fans I got I gotta talk to you about something. I'm glad we took this break. But as the fighters face off during UFC 277, you can take down your own big win with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner of UFC. This Saturday, new customers can bet $5 on any fighter to win and get, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true, $100 in free bets. Win or lose.

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That's always hard to say. I struggle with myself. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. See next page for directions for disclaimer. What up, Kings? Staying in the wing, in the woo-woo-woo,

sitting there. I got a debate club for you fellas today. If this guy can't sing. What is more morally corrupt? Ricky Martin. Hanging out. Banging out his nephew. Who knows?

It's going to be a debate. Or the honest guy truth of Elon's dad. Raw dog and old stepdaughter. And having a baby. That's news to me. going to be a debate or the honest God truth of Elon's dad, raw dog, and old stepdaughter and having a baby. That's news to me. I'm going to go ahead and say that's a bit weird, man. It's been going on. Except the dad has a child and now you're having a child.

So I'm going to let you fellas decide. Nick, Brendan, Theo, Chin, Mark, Chris. I almost forgot you, bud. Is this Everlast? You guys figure this out for me. Let me know. Nick, Brendan, Theo, Chin, Mark Chris I almost forgot you, bud You guys figure this out for me, let me know Is that Bubba Sparks? Yeah, okay, so

Ricky Martin was having a Seven month relationship with his 21 year old Nephew But his nephew reneged on the deal And was like, I made it all up He stopped pressing charges And Ricky was like dancing last night I'm not sure about that one at all That one I know, he reneged on the deal and was like, I made it all up. He'd stop pressing charges and Ricky was like dancing last night. I'm not sure about that one at all. That one I know. He reneged on it and was like,

just playing. I don't think the nephew's denying that they had a relationship though. He's denying that he was like raped and stalked. And he received death threats, like multiple death threats. The police said that he was getting death threats if he showed up. Okay, and then Elon's dad at 76 confirmed secret second child with his stepdaughter?

So, okay, hold on. Let me try and figure this out. They have two kids, by the way. Before you figure it out, let me help you. Ricky Martin, the nephew, is from his stepsister's side, so it's not blood. Oh, it's not?

No. But they were trying to charge him with incest. And my problem with that situation, with incest and my problem with that situation let me tell you my problem with it now all these details are coming out but it didn't matter because it was already sensationalized on the news and he was like thought of as whatever and and now it's like you know is he that's out there yeah oh. Well, that's damage. Here's my thing. It's like if this kid, you know, adult, young adult male is getting abused or whatever it is like that, if it's real, get the facts. It's too important. You can't just put some shit out and, you know, ruin somebody.

But that's TMZ. They don't give a fuck. That's social media in a nutshell. I know, but it's like get the story right.'t give a but that's social media in a nutshell get the story right i think that's the problem there's no credibility and then also they blast all out without looking into it but then also like you guys didn't know that was uh his step like he's not even blood related like i'm not saying it's right but it's not his blood relative yeah so that's it well that's that only though. That only matters when it comes to, like, he can't be charged with incest. But here's the thing.

Forget that. It's inappropriate. Okay? Yeah. And that's all. He did something inappropriate, and the kid was involved, too. So they did something that was just out of pocket, and that's their business. Living the vida loca.

Yeah. That's their business. The person was 21. How old was he? He's probably. He's like 40. But hold loca. Yeah. Last day business. The person was 21. How old was he? He's probably- He's like 40, but hold on. You say it's inappropriate, but why is it inappropriate? It's because it's a family situation.

You know it's not against the law, right? You know what I mean? You're saying it's for the family to figure out about. It's for the family to figure out. If I'm Ricky Martin, you know what I'm saying? But then also, they're not going to get clicks. Did you guys know that the nephew dropped the charges? No, because that doesn't get clicks.

But how fucked up is that? It doesn't get clicks, dude. But like I say, not everybody has. Like, if Ricky Martin wants to, like, you know, sue for defamation or whatever it is like that, not everybody has that kind of money, man. You need all of them. Oh, yeah. You need Ricky Martin money to do that shit. You need Johnny Depp money to do that stuff.

He might not even have that kind of money. He might not. I bet he does. He might not. Johnny Depp has it. He bought that shit for six years. He probably spent more money on the loft fees than he's going to get back from her. Johnny Depp?

Yeah. But yeah, we, but every, we, I mean, in this community, in all the communities, bro, I mean, Chris Brown, everyone's getting the shit and it's like to have that money and fight that shit. Fine. But like, if you don't have millions and millions and millions upon millions of dollars, you can't fight that shit. I know.

No. Yeah. And then here's the thing. Even if you do fight and you win, unless you're Johnny Depp, if you're just normal, you know, like C, B list, especially for your comic, and you beat it, that doesn't get tracked.

No, it doesn't. They're not going to report that. So it's really, there's no upside. So then the other thing is like, I'd like to report that so it's really there's no upside so then the other thing is like I think I believe that Elon Musk's father

has two kids with this chick so for me the second now that because they have two I don't give a fuck about it really

yeah because they have two you're good yeah because that means it's an established relationship at this point now and you love each other yeah you can't just have two kids

if you have one kid, I don't want you- Whoops. Whoops. Could be whoops. Oops. Could be, right? Yeah.

But two? Krista.com, yeah. If you have two kids, they're in a thing and they're just like, that's why no one cares. Yeah. So wait, okay.

So what happened? So it's his stepdaughter, which means it's his- Second wife's daughter from a previous marriage. And he's not with that wife anymore, obviously. And he had an affair

with the stepdaughter and left the mom? I don't know what happened first. This is frowned upon, too, where I come from. Yeah. But it's inappropriate. I agree with you. It's inappropriate, yeah.

But I'm saying that's still their family business. Yeah, yeah. He's like this. Yeah, I'm living. I got my two kids and my girl. Why y'all care? You know? What are y'all?

Yeah, okay. But how old was she when they first had us? When he met her, the girl was four years old. Okay. So he was her dad. There's a 45... Because Elon flying to Mars and shit. You know what I'm saying?

Four years old. Yeah, that's wild. Four? So you raised that kid and then you have an affair with her? That is creepy. I know. I'd say Elon's worse. Elon's dad's worse.

Yeah. Both of them are weird He's 76 And she's 35 right now I don't know if he was like And the first baby was 2019 So she was 32 But they knew Are they still together?

It looks like it Yeah then it's like Oh well they should've been together Not the mom and him anyway That's hilarious He had to wait You know what I mean? Here's the cats in the wild

Someone said their dog Looks like Chris. Wow, that's fucking funny. Same forehead, huh? That's funny. Why was your hair like that? I almost got the part of don't be drinking your juice in the hood of South Central. I actually don't know.

I think I did that for Calvin. Oh, yeah, Coolio did that. Marlon Wayans. Look up Marlon Wayans. That's Marlon Wayans. Look up Marlon Wayans. That's Marlon Wayans. No, Marlon Wayans in the thing. Great movie. Probably not a great movie.

I haven't seen it. As soon as I said great, I was like, oh, sure. They have funny moments. Do they? I don't know. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. I remember a moment in a movie where a guy's talking to his kid but the kid the dad's younger than you know oh that's funny there's some funny shit in that movie yeah yeah i used to love spoof movies man

yeah but no but like naked gun era no even uh not even like scary the first scary movie hilarious oh i thought it was funny dude the first scary movie is fucking funny dude come on or the other one is Not Another Teen Movie. No, it's not good. Oh, you're crazy. Not Another Teen Movie is hilarious. I was with you on scary movies. No.

When they go, when they're like looking, like they're making fun of that whatever movie where they're like, all right, here's the bet. You have to make that person the prom queen. And then it's like, they go, that guy? And it's like a hunchback no that's too easy what about you know yeah the siamese twins yeah that's too easy then it's like a girl with a ponytail and glasses yeah yeah yeah yeah that's funny when you tell it it's not funny it's not funny in the movie like yo man i'm no i'm the one black guy yeah choking black guy i

thought i'm the one black guy y'all crazyoking black guy. I'm the one black guy. Y'all crazy. You got to watch that again. No, you are funny telling it. All scary movies are pretty funny too. No. Zero of them. The third part with the aliens. Yeah, man.

Their dicks are on their fingers and they didn't realize it. And that guy's talking and just putting his fingers up like this. And he's going like this. He's like, yo, their dicks, their penis are actually on their fingers. It's funny moments, man. I don't know. I only saw the first one, I think. I do recommend everyone to go watch Airplane, but not if you're woke.

If you're woke, don't watch it. Like, Airplane couldn't get made today. Oh, no way. You can make it. Airplane is so. That is one of the funniest fucking movies ever. Bro, when they say like, oh, fuck, like, I'm nervous. And when he's on the plane, they're like, oh, yeah?

Have you ever flown? Wait, wait, what is it? Have you ever, what is it? I'm nervous. Oh, yeah, I'm nervous. And he's on the plane. He says, I'm nervous. Is it the first time?

He says, no, I've been nervous lots of times. Like, that kind of humor kills me, bro. When the old lady comes over, the black guy's talking. The jive talk? Yeah, the old lady comes over. It's OK. talking. The jive talk? Yeah, the old lady comes over. It's okay. I speak jive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's talking.

You can't do that movie today. Oh, my God. No, you never. Bro, that movie's so funny. Naked Gun's so funny. Leslie Nielsen. That was a diamond, bro. Dude, when he's the umpire?

Oh, fuck, bro. See, I want to make it. They need to bring spoof movies back. But they don't do. But even the scary movies and the fucking, they weren't like that, really. See, I want to make John Thic need to bring spoof movies back. But they don't do. But even the scary movies and the fucking, they weren't like that really. See, I want to make John Thicke. Oh, wow. That's hilarious.

You know what I mean? It's like, are you retired? I'm never working. Remember OJ Simpson's a naked gun. He had a big part. Wow, yeah. Leslie Nelson, Mr. Poopy Pants when he did that. Oh, fucking so funny.

Who's that? Leslie Nelson's son? Yeah. Who is this? Just a submitter. Oh, fucking so funny. Who's that? Leslie Nelson's son? Yeah. Who is this? Just a submitter. Oh, okay, cool. Let's do it. Looks like one of your video algorithms.

Is he a vampire? That's funny. I'm calling you from Victoria, BC. Chris, we miss you here, man. I saw you a few years ago when you came and it was amazing. Victoria? I hope you come back. Maybe come in the summertime when it's not so fucking cold.

Gets up to a decent temperature, I guess. I'm calling you with a debate club today that me and my girl came up with. Would you rather have your knees never bend again or your elbows never bend again? Oh, knees. Pretty dicey. Either of those are terrible, terrible options. But I think one's less terrible. Yeah, you have to. I'd love to see what you guys think.

Yeah, you would. You have to be nice. I'm sure there's some hilarious debates, Nick and Chin, and Mark that fucking hairy ogre. Get him in on this as well. Oh, that's tough. You're going to call and...

Yeah, yeah. You can't do anything. Wait, so you guys are saying neat? You'd rather have your knees never bend? Yeah, because you can still walk. Yeah, like a fucking scarecrow. All right, so go ahead. Work through it.

Go ahead. Okay, so your arms. Okay, cool. How are you going to eat? You'll never have a private conversation ever again because you always got to be on speakerphone. You can't wipe your ass. You can't drive.

You can't drive like this. Yeah. You have to be like way far back. Walking at least like you can. Yeah, yeah, I agree. You can't be in your seat you you're not driving there either you you what car are you gonna get where your legs yeah you can also you couldn't sit in a car again there's no plane right i think you can still drive it i think you can still drive i think you can

talk about you you'd have to take the front seat out and you have to sit in the back seat oh you just put it all the way back and just use your feeties no you get one of those like you people don't have any arms and you have to drive like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right. Bro, there is no question I'd rather have my knees not bent. I'd rather have my arms. Bro, you're not thinking about this.

You're not thinking it through, man. You're just going like, I want to run. That'd be nice. But no, but it... It is what it would be be running like this yeah yeah running like this and then you're sweating but you can't wipe your own forehead i need someone out wipe it with your feet yeah plus you're gonna pull your hamstring what the fuck was that you're gonna pull your Yeah Plus you're gonna pull your hamstring

What the fuck was that? You're gonna pull your hamstring and shit And you're not gonna be able to do either Alright You're not gonna be able to massage yourself Either way it fucking sucked Well yeah man it sucks This guy couldn't wipe his head

And he should Yeah Oh wow he should That guy's shirt's lit Oh he's working out Shout out Brandon For this weekend here in San Diego Super dope I was thinking Oh, he's working out. They're waiting to sing. Shout out Brandon. For this weekend here in San Diego, Superdome.

I was thinking, in a team setting for a debate club, who would do more push-ups? Theo and Chris or Brendan and Eric? Let me know what y'all think. Gang, gang. Who could do more push-ups, Theo and Chris or Brendan and Eric? Yeah. He's my photographer in San Diego. He's and Chris or Brendan and Eric? Yeah. He's my photographer in San Diego.

He's really talented. Oh, yeah? Yeah, he's good. He's a photographer. He doesn't know much about audio. You can't really do a video with so much fucking. That's why he's a photographer. Yeah. He's cool, dude.

Yeah. Who could do more push-ups? You and Theo. The weakest link, it would be me and Theo is the weakest link. So it just depends on how many push-ups can you do versus him. Because he would have to do more push-ups than you. To make up for it. To make up for it.

But I mean, I could do some push-ups. But also, I know you're really strong, but you're also very big. So are push-ups your thing? Pretty good at push-ups. Oh, okay. Okay. I like the confidence that you came with. Okay.

And how many would I have to do? I think I could get 25 in. Yeah. Then if you're really good at pushups, you get 25. Well, what's good to you? I don't know, bro. How many do you think you can do? Right now, not as, I mean, I've been slacking.

But Theo could probably do a bunch. You think you can do a bunch? Theo's upper body is like Kermit the Frog. I'm the weakest link in this thing, which is unfair. Can we do it next Tuesday? I'll put it out. I'm down.

I'm going to beat the shit out of you guys. No pressure. Let's do a push-up contest. My nose is still healing. Let's do a push-up contest next week. And then let's have Chris and this guy do a headbutt contest. Yeah, I mean this guy. You know your angles, buddy.

Bro. My God. Know your angles, bro. This guy is all nose and forehead. Shaving those armpits. Shaving those foreheads. Can't stand it. Does he have Botox? It he grows back, it's the most uncomfortable feeling ever. Well, why did you?

Let him go out. It's a little disgusting. You know what? I'm more of a three-guard guy myself. Yeah, there you go, buddy. Man's getting probably gross. He shaved his armpits? Pit maintenance.

Is that what he's talking about? Yeah. Pit maintenance. He said, do you just let it grow out or do you shave it? I have to shave my armpits. You have. You don't want the... Nothing's more disgusting. But I don't shave it. I don't shave it just let it grow out or do you shave it? I have to shave my armpits. You don't want... Nothing's more disgusting

if you have to pull it and stick it out. But I don't shave it like when it's bald. No. I just get my, like, you know, the little whatever trimmer just... So you trim it. I trim it. I get mine a Philly fade. Oh, I've never trimmed my armpits in my life. Because you don't really grow a lot of hair there. Disgusting. No, I bet he's hairy. No, no, not there. My bottom half is crazy,

bro. They filmed Jumanji in my butthole. For real. It's Not there. My bottom half is crazy, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They filmed Jumanji in my butthole. For real. It's so crazy. My butthole is insane. Harry. Kevin Hart, The Rock, and that chick from the Marvel movies in there. Oh, my God.

And whoever else was in that movie. You never just want to take a three guard to that asshole? Like the taint man? Nah, but like. No, because you can't really see it. You can't see it, bro. It's patchy, right? Maybe I've tried it.

So the backstage performance package has a light on it. For who it you can't see it bro it's patchy right now package has a light on it for who you can't see back there yeah what do you have like a webcam set up like what do you want like you're at the ent you're at the fucking ENT. When he's looking. It's not hairy, dog. The guy's fucking. Like the ENT.

When you're hairy, you're just hairy and it's stupid. Like I'm a hairy guy. So it's like, it's dumb to like, you know, certainly like, it's like at a certain point,

it's like it is what it is. Yeah. Yeah. You know, so like I try to get this area upper back, you know. Unreal.

Yeah. You get random patches., upper back. Unreal. Yeah. You get random patches? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have like right above my butt, I have like a patch. Duck tail. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I got to get rid of it. That's because I got a back injury.

That's what someone told me once. Please stop sneezing. I've never hurt my back and I got it. Are your shoulders hairy, Eric? Yeah. Just not majorly hairy. You got to hear like Andre Lasky. No, no, no. It's just like I have weird back patches, Eric? Yeah. Just not majorly hairy. You got to hear like Andrej Lasky. No, no, no.

It's just like I have weird back patches, which just sucks. So does Nick. Back patches. And they just keep springing up like every day. So I just stand in the shower naked, and then Rachel just. Wow, dude. That's marriage right there. Back patches.

You're just chilling. You hear. And you go, Rachel, we got another one. And then you hear in the background. No, it's like the guy when they shave them from monsters it's such a dad reference but in monsters they shave the hairy guy oh yeah it's just like that wow can't get her to sing it for you guys moving into an apartment before you have furniture i moved into this apartment like four weeks ago i still don't have a couch but um i got this in my living room oh that's fucking hilarious bro don't ask me what also

a dude opportunity to call out theo von okay theo we've seen stevie weeby with the wrestling match we've seen it okay i want you in a wrestling match i'll drop to nashville i'll come to la it doesn't matter i think i could take you i've seen you train i see you training all the time he's nice but the bike is hilarious the bike is hilarious that's such a dude to not have a couch but have your motorcycle in the living room i'll tell you what that's a dude move i have a buddy of mine just watching the TV on the fucking motorcycle? Yeah, no, that's definitely mainly. How long are you going to pretend he's not going to wrestle Theo and lick his asshole?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Right? Right? My buddy just got his bike stolen right in front of his place. Bike, like bicycle or like motorcycle? No, no, like that. Damn. And his other friend had a Ducati.

That guy's stuff. They're just, it doesn't matter what, they're just taking them. Yeah. And here's the thing, too. The technology, the laws haven't caught up to technology. Right. Because his other friend put an error tracker on it and told the cops, here it is. Yeah.

It's in this, and what they do is they put them in apartments just like that. Oh, so they don't get jacked. Yeah, they can't. No, I'm saying, but they're thieves. They take it and they put it- See, he stole that. In the apartment. Oh, so they can't come in and get it.

Yeah, they can't come in and get it. Oh, and they can't see it. Oh, shit. That's hilarious. So this guy's a thief. So you're showing the cops, like, look, I know it's here, but they can't come in and get it yeah they can't come in and get it they can't see it oh yeah that's hilarious so you're showing the cops like look i know it's here but they have to be fair cops especially in l.a are like oh your bike has stolen listen we've had 19 people get shot in the face no they don't even say that they go to it we have 19 people shot in the face and we don't even care about that i know but here's the thing though what i'm saying though is like, you know. You guys defunded the police. They need to just have like a, the laws need to upgrade to like, you know, it should be

a kind of thing. It's like, if I have a tracker on my bike and I can show you that it's right here, that should be probable cause. Yeah. But the technology moves so quick that the laws can't move that quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't move. Well, laws don't even move at all.

Well, right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got freed. right right right right right you're not but yeah i by the way but getting back to this guy's crazy i remember when i first moved into my uh my last place i didn't have furniture either and i just i was like i was so excited i love it yeah to be empty in that apartment like hell yeah dude you always feel like i made it no matter what tv with a playstation on the ground there you go real bachelor pad that's super dude i love it yeah hey guys the cross family here we have a debate club question for you here we have a debate club question for you the pool verse the beach oh no listen oh my god big fucking pool huh is that a public all we need to talk about there's

so many factors here huh okay where is the beach that's public pool? First of all, we need to talk about, there's so many factors here. Uh-huh. Okay. Where is the beach? That's a community pool. Yeah. Let's say a YMCA. Community pool, okay. Where's the beach? Uh-huh.

Okay. And that question too, is it your pool? Ah, okay. Yes. You know what I mean? True. Yeah. I would say, well, anywhere where you don't have to deal with fucking sand in your anus

is great, right? It's a plus. So you don't go to the beach. Food. You bring food to the beach. All of a sudden, you get that fucking. You're like, oh, I ate sand. Would you just at the beach though with your kiddo?

Well, no, no, no. I went. You know you fucked up, right? What do you mean? By going? No, I'm just saying you're stinging the beach, but. No, I'm just saying. No, they're saying, but it's the bait club.

So if my son wants to go to the beach, I go to the beach because whatever for my son. Okay. Sand and ass and all. Yeah, dude. I'll put sand in it. Okay. Me too. But if my son wants to go to the beach, we go to the beach, dude.

Yep. Okay. Now, I try to convince him maybe we go to the pool though. What pool? Maybe we go to the pool. It's not mine. Mine. Mine. Okay.

If we got to go to a community pool, then you go to the beach. Sting it. Rich assholes with pools. Then you go to the beach. My hair's crazy right now? Your hair's fucking insane. If it's a community pool, sting that because I grew up in community pools. You do pee pee in there.

Oh, your boy'sitted in the pool. Illegal. Not when you're six, baby. No, dude. When you're six, it's cute. You do pee-pee in the pool. This says so much about, you know. Nope.

See, you don't even know the background. You don't know the background. I went to work. There's no. We don't need to know any background. Yeah. Why you shit in the pool. Hey, we got a new segment. There's no justification. No, there is though. No, we got a new segment. We don't need to know any background of why you shit in the pool.

There's no justification. No, there is, though. No, we got a new segment, Harrow or Not. Listen to this. We grew up, my dad would drop us off. He was working 9 to 5, so every summer he'd drop us off at the YMCA.

They used to force us to swim every fucking day. After about three weeks of swimming that we didn't want to do, my brother, older than me, goes, you know what? You should take a shit in the pool. I bet we don't have to swim, my brother, older than me, goes, you know what? You should take a shit in the pool. I bet we don't have to swim. I go, all right. I got to take a big old shit.

So I swam to the deep end. And then my brother was like, all right, you do it. And then we do it. Just wink at me and I'll yell turd. So I took a big hot shit and he yelled turd. Nobody had to swim for the rest of the summer. Your boy was camp MVP. Hero or not?

First of all, do you think there's any part of that story is like... That's gangster. That's gangster. To be a six-year-old gangster like that? Oh, my. You're endorsing this? No. I don't think that you should do it.

You would have shit in the pool for Matt? Hold on a second. Okay, so you would have shit in the pool for Matt? Hold on a second. You would have shit in the pool for Matt? Hold on a second. Okay, so you would have shit in the pool for Matt? Hold on a second. Would you have shit in the pool for Matt? I would have had Matt do it for me. And I will tell you this. Dude, and I will tell you this.

You're older. When my brother told me, I do. I'm a goddamn YMCA legend for this. Oh, my God. I will tell you this, dude. Imagine you got two kids, all kids all right now we've got kids you'll have kids when you have a kid it's a little different there's stuff that you feel about the kid you realize yourself in the kid and you're proud of the kid for a lot of different things

now look at it this way dude okay so you've got two kids and one of the kids shits in the pool now on its face that's bad okay but terrible then when the kid says dude i did it for my brother because i didn't want he didn't want to swim anymore and i have his back yes then there's a secret sense of pride that you have yep i think there's a secret sense of pride that you have because your son is looking out for their other sibling. And that's some nice, that's some Game of Thrones shit, honestly. First of all. It's a brilliant move. People thought it was a baby move.

It is bad. First of all, his brother did that to make his stupid little brother shit in public. This wasn't for any kind of heroism. He was like, I bet you I can get my, he probably told his friends like I bet you I can get my he probably told his friends I bet you I can get Brendan to shit in the pool The secret pride for the prank that's how we know Eric didn't have brother girl cuz my brother was like bro We don't want to you know, we don't wanna swim. This is how we gotta get out of this We didn't swim for the rest of the summer. So what so what what did you guys do? Nobody knows me daddy

Come on, bro. You're a Bro, you were a bad kid, bro. No, I was a great kid. No, no, no. You were a good down homie. You're a bad kid, though. You're a down ass homie, right? But you're a bad kid, bro. Somebody knew it was you.

It got out. Now it's out now. Why I'm saying, hey, you're the one that shit in the pool in 1994? Wow. You're going to find out in the pool in 1994 Wow You're gonna find out somebody lost their sight Oh wow yeah this guy What's up king Sting in the wing and the sing

I heard the beach chilling I mean the most regular tattoos Stinging for you Turning up getting drunk He's got a devil in an eight ball Knowing you got the pregnant DD to drive you home. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore. Eric, I'm not finna woo-woo because there's too many people out here.

I ain't gonna embarrass myself. Oh, you're already embarrassing yourself. I think the tattoos did it, my man. You don't want to embarrass yourself? You have on a dumbass hat with your pregnant wife while you're on the phone. Talking to us. Talking to us. Look at this.

Oh, my God. This guy's a trip. He said, I ain't fit to do it, man. And this is why we don't go to the beach. There it is right there. There you go, man. He's not at the pool. But he gets Chris in the background with Calvin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But to Eric's point, it depends on the beach. It depends on the beach. That beach doesn't look nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But to Eric's point, it depends on the beach. It depends on the beach. That beach doesn't look nice. Yeah, this isn't the beach. And she's just trying to just rest. And he's like,

hey, you're gonna drive me home, or I'm about to get hammered. Wow, that's fucking... Oh, God. That whole thing is such a mess. Yeah, that was very problematic, this whole video. I don't know.

I'm not into it. This guy's got a ton of energy. All right. Let's see. Hey, guys. This is Gabriel calling from Hottest Balls, Arizona. Too hot. Too hot.

Whose hand is that? Board games. If you king it, which is the best board game? Thank you, guys. Have a great day. First of all, he has the thickest fingers. Whose hand is that? That's not his hand. Someone else went in.

Somebody's got on a baseball glove. His fingers. He's got fingers. He's only got three fingers, I think. Is that right? Did a cartoon call? Is that Homer Simpson's hand? Dude, check out how thick his pinky is.

It's a big toe. Mickey Mouse is next to him just like, when you get an edge. His hand looks like a hamburger and then five bratwurst fucking scrap. God, he must be a fighter. Look at that pinky, bro. That pinky is like, oh my God.

He's like that guy, the arm wrestling champ with the big ass hands. You know what I'm talking about? It's like three of Brendan's ears. Zero board games. B-O-R-E-D. That's how you spell it. Are you kidding me? Zero.

Zero, dude. Board games are fun. Zero. No monopoly for you. They're for people who don't want to have a conversation and laugh. Thank you very much. Next one, dude. Boring, dude. I can't stand board games. That's what fucking people who don't want to have a conversation and laugh. Thank you very much. Next one, dude. Boring, dude.

I can't stand board games. That's what fucking people who don't have personalities do. Yes, we figured it out. Next one. Are you kidding me? I used to play a board game with my mom all the time called Aggravation. It was this marble board game, and it was one of my fondest memories. Oh, that's sweet.

Too bad you guys didn't fucking talk. You just sat with your parents and just talked? That's why I'm so fucking interesting these days. Oh, my God. I got Bill's number. I like a good game of Monopoly. Thank you. Around the holiday.

No, dude. Let me tell you, here's another thing, too. That's a fun thing. Yes, we're figuring it out. I like to get Baltic Avenue. Get the fuck out of here with Baltic. And build hotels. Fuck off, dude. Let me tell you, here's another thing, too. That's a fun thing. Yes, we're figuring it out. I like to get Baltic Avenue. Get the fuck out of here with Baltic. And build hotels. Fuck off, dude.

Build real hotels. We should play Monopoly. That's a fun game. Ooh, that brought Eric back. It takes too long, though, yeah? Yeah, that was it. Oh, you didn't like that? I guess it's not a board game, but remember the surgery game where you'd have the tweezers,

you'd touch the sides, just eh? Operation? The only game. Yes, Happy Happy Hippo? The only games I'm willing to play are any games where you don't have to like fucking keep track or write down or like build or like if i can i think about can i think it what what number am i at right now six okay i'm at nine i'm not filling shit out with those jerky fucking small pencils that are never sharp i'm not fucking keeping a list of shit i'm not building anything i don't want to carefully do charades for you

jenga too stressful i'm chilling my personality is fancy dude and we can talk all day long but the second you gotta have me build shit first of all is anyone else talking when you're doing or is it just you doing a performance it's's a lot of that, but I will say. Yeah, it's fun just for Chris. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't want to play board games because he's like, yeah, I'm the monopoly right here. I got a new bit for everybody. They're like, hey, Chris, will you shut up for a second?

Yeah, you were that annoying, kid. Yeah, dude. But a fucking dude, I do it for a profession. So happy. Dude, you get this for free now, dude. I'm just talking. God god this is my job him thanksgiving as a kid everybody's just like going like oh god chris is doing a performance everybody yeah everybody else is playing monopoly yeah over there like what about hello my baby

i'm a piece of shit What about Ouija boards? We did that once What? We did that once Scared the shit out of me It's so annoying bro There's no demons and spirits That are moving the shit It's you

I don't like your attitude I don't like your attitude It's usually the person That brought it up Hey let's play Let's do Ouija They're the one going like this Yeah

They're like Oh there's spirits in this house Like this was built In fucking three years ago This house Why do you keep coming back To this fucking I don't know I thought you guys Wanted to talk about it And then Yeah. They're like, ooh, there's spirits in this house. Like, this was built in fucking three years ago, this house. Why do you keep coming back to this fucking goat picture? I don't know. I thought you guys wanted to talk about it.

And then. It's interesting. Here's my thing about goats. And Michael Jordan, same thing. There you go. There we go. Wow. Wow.

And then Eric has the goat. Yeah, I'm the goat. Okay. Well, G-O-I-T, goat. Grace of all time. We actually do have that. It's weird to bring a goat on stage, right? The fans tell you who's the goat.

You can't decide. That's amazing. Definitely post that on my Walmart. That is fantastic. And just say a bunch of goats. First of all, fuck you, but that's fucking hilarious. That's funny. Goat.

That's it. All right. Well, we did it, didn't we? Kevin Hart has leather pants on. But that's fucking hilarious That's funny Goat That's it Alright well We did it didn't we Kevin Hart has leather pants on Well if there's anybody That's gonna wear leather pants By the way I wish I could pull them off

Those panda dunks Are those panda dunks Dude I can't even tell you How many fucking panda dunks Were when I was in London That's all I saw The panda dunks Yeah yeah yeah

We talking about Chappelle shoes No Chris Rocks No not Chris Rocks Fucking Kevin Hart You're bothappelle's shoes Chris Rock's No not Chris Rock's Kevin Hart's You're both racist

How are we racist We're racist against goats Everybody there's black Are those Convert what the fuck are those And then Chappelle's shoes Oh no I was talking about Chappelle's sorry Oh you're racist Can you imagine being at this show

You're already excited that you're watching Chris Rock and Kevin Hart, and then Chappelle comes out and opens. No, Chappelle opened. Yeah, because Chappelle comes out and does a surprise. Wow. Like, you're just kind of like, damn. And then a goat. And then there's a goat.

With a chain on it. The goat closed it. Man. You know when, man. Slap me now, bitch. You know what I mean? You know when, man. know what man slap me now bitch you know what i mean you know when man and man what's the deal with man standing ovation what would be the white equivalent of this it would be like seinfeld and who it's already bad oh jim gaffaffigan? Yeah. Louis C.K.?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Steinfeld, Louis C.K. No, what do you mean? It'd be Louis.

Because he's so controversial. Dave Chappelle's not? I love Louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got you. Well,

it sounds like you don't. Burr, Louis, David Tell. Not David Tell, though, because all these guys, David, no, dude, you're, you're, you're taking what I'm saying the wrong way. David Tell is phenomenal, but you're, all these guys fill stadiums.

You know what I mean? Oh, so it would have to be like big, big acts. So Rogan, Bill Burr. Yeah, Rogan, Burr. But they do that when it's Chappelle, Rogan. Yeah, but I'm saying Rogan, Burr, and- They have to sell the same amount of tickets? Who was the other one?

Jeff Dunham. Rogan, Burr. Who was the other one that we were talking about? What a show. No, no, no, no, no. Can you imagine seeing Bill Burr- Daffigan? We were just talking about, no, Burr-

They fly their helicopters. Burr, Louie, Rogan. Louie doesn't do arenas. I think he could do Madison Square Garden for sure. Louie could. Yeah, he would sell it out. You didn't say I was going to take this like Rogan and Burr. No, no, no.

Well, that's what you said though, right? No, I didn't say that. You know you fucked up, right? I said I have to do arenas. You know you fucked up, right? I did fuck up. I'll admit when I fuck up. No, you fucked up, right?

Does anybody know what movie that's from You know you fucked up No what Menace Society I like that one Don't look over at me like I'm supposed to Look at your shirt Look at your shirt

This is a real movie Menace Society was like the knockoff version Oh wow Wow Wow It was a knockoff version You're acting like MC8 didn't have a fucking song on that soundtrack You act like Ice Cube's a real actor.

Hold on a second. He is a tremendous actor at this point. I do. You know in Three Kings when he's like, can you breathe? That was good. That's when acting's easy, right? Can you breathe? Yeah, but he owns, you know, Ice Cube is a mogul now.

Yeah, dude. Come on. Yay, yay. Remember when he, oh, that's it. Yay, yay. Yay, yay. I want to show us love up in the club. Then he brought somebody out that sounded just like him.

Yeah, they're the same person. And still made a lot of money. Mac 10? Yeah. Mac 10. West side boogie, oogie, oogie. Oh, in the backyard boogie, oogie. Backyard boogie, oogie.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Baltimore, see you next week Thursday Friday Saturday Dallas crystalia.com go get your tickets dude dickboy.com the tie dye merch

drops Friday baby oh that's cool Wichita Wichita fucking Wichita dude I'll be there man Wichita's where the BTK killer

got famous dude that's right so come let's change history and fucking have Crystalia be the Wichita dude instead of BT killer because that's right so come let's change history and fucking have chris leah be the wichita dude instead of bt killer because that's bad for you guys sure it's bad it's bad press man and then chicago one night only august 26 all right love you guys eric will be in la jolla i'll be in la jolla It's the king and the sting Back up in the sting I just got a call that said they want to have the ring

They got me working OT all night long How many times I gotta make this song? Hey, hold on, what is this? Now y'all wanna switch? Y'all just added Stevie and Eric And now y'all adding Chris How's that gonna fit? Wait, I get the gist

I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting. It's the wing and the king and the sting. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, wait a minute, let me think. It's the king and the sting and the wing. Let's go. King and the sting and the wing.

Brought it full circle and put on the whole team. Legendary trio, Brittany, Chris, and Theo, what you mean? You know it's the king and the sting and the wing.