The Golden Hour - Episode 188: Netflix And Kill

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

The guys do a live call in with Kevin (the car crash survivor) and talk the real life Rudy, all new Dating Advice submissions featuring meatball, all new KATS Confessions and all new Trailer Park Hacks, crazy things the guys would do for hot chicks, who's more likely to go postal and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Who's most likely to smoke crack out of this group? You! This is a crazy coincidence. You look like you sell crack. You! Blim! Blum! Blam!

You! Blim! Blum! Blam! Blam! You! I don't give a fuck about you! Hey, that's good.

I like that. I like that. That's good. You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying.

Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So. Theo, you all right? Yeah, I'm good, Bubby. You making some toast? Couldn't look more like a guy who has a knife and you have a knife. Yes.

Right. And why do you have a knife, Theo? Switchblade. Oh, damn, daddy. Did you steal that from Chin? Well, it's just getting dangerous out there. You know, a lot of people are seeing all these fights and stuff on the internet. I know.

Yeah, I watch those fights. The guys that look like you start them, though. Yeah. So I'm just saying, be careful out there. Yeah, Field does look like he ought to do that. Look at him sell merch at the fucking Capitol Riot. I'm the ghost of merch must pass, baby. That's not your merch, right, on your shirt?

No, this is Spade's merch, actually. Oh, that's Joe Dirt. Yeah, cool. Great movie. And a Hawaii hat, right? That's Hawaii? Yeah, yeah, that's Hawaii Dressed to the nines, baby

Ready for it, baby, ready for a lightning strike Welcome to another episode of The King, The Sting, and The Wing Woo, woo, woo, woo You forgot the sing No, I did the sing Oh, you just did the sing instead of saying the sing? Yeah, because you guys don't have a thing, you can't be like Yeah, bro

The King, and then like The Sting Yeah, yeah, yeah He can do this Yeah And I have a thing You guys, you guys don't have a thing you can't be like yeah bro the king and then like this thing yeah he could do this yeah and i have a thing you guys you two don't have a thing yeah we have nothing i mean you know what i mean has a crown you can soar it soaring and you could just and what what whoa the brought to you by coors light the coldest tasting beer to you by Coors Light, the coldest tasting beer. Woo, woo, woo,

woo. We started this shit. We have nothing to. We have no catchphrases. It's alright. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, baby. Oh, I forgot. That's right. Buzz, buzz. Classic OG shit, dude. You guys, you know. It's no workaholics type butthole, but, you know, it's alright. Eric's the best dressed today.

I can't see anybody. Just so you guys know, I cannot see. Oh, you went blind? You're not missing. I have no visuals of you guys. Well, Brendan is saying that because Eric is wearing a thick boy hoodie. Okay, well, oh, wow, I didn't even notice that. I just thought, wow, that was a cool cut.

You didn't notice that, wow. I didn't notice. That's cool. It is a cool hoodie. I will say that. What's Brendan wearing? He's topless. He's topless. He's topless.

Daddy. This thing. He's got a leopard print. He's got on like a weird camouflage, leopard print, green, olive green. One of the guys in Kingpin War. A ridiculous amount of chains. Yeah. Ridiculous amount.

Diamonds. I don't know. You know what I mean? Like Mr. T would be like, what the fuck kind of amount of chains? Like Mr. T would be like, too much, man. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kidding, you fool.

Just picture Jared Leto. I'm kidding, you fool. Just picture Jared Leto. I'm staring. I'm picturing Jared Leto, and it is nothing like you. Oh, wow. Yeah. I got to be honest, dude.

I think of Jared Leto. Be honest with him. Be honest. I think I will be more honest. But Jared Leto, I can see him playing Brendan in like a biopic. He would gain weight for it. He would gain weight for it. He would gain weight. Lifts in his shoes.

Fuck his ears up. You know what I mean? He would be method. Full method. That'd be cool. I'm down. That's actually how I want to play me, so that works. Who would play Theo in that?

Because they would have to go to the king of the state. Oh, right. They would. Paul Giamatti. He's good. He's a good actor With a wig Paul Giamatti

He'd be like I'm upstairs Oh I love that so much Who would play Chris The guy from the pianist Adrian Brody Yes Adrian Brody

Look at Theo Wow You know what would do it Is it would be What was that movie That came out with Matt Damon And the fucking guy from The Last Duel? The Last Duel.

That's basically Theo and I. Yeah. The two of us are in that movie. I said that joke when it came out, but I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right there. Matt Damon is you, and I'm the, who is the other guy's name? Oh, he's a great, is Adam Driver?

Adam Driver, yes. He's good. But go to the poster, though. Oh, yeah, you do have the Matt Driver going on. It's a good movie. Well, I mean, typing in way too much. Yeah. Last dual, Adam, Matt, Driver, Damon.

No, just the fucking, the one with all of them all. There he goes. Me and Theo. Jesus Christ. Right there. Me and Theo right there. And I'm Ben Affleck. Well.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm Ben Affleck. I'm Batman. Okay. Well, I'm Ben Affleck. I'm Batman. Okay. Well, I guess I'm the girl. Okay, he's not in this. Yeah, you're not in this movie. It's me, Theo.

No, no, I'm Ben Affleck. I'm the king. Okay. But you're not in it. All right. Well, whatever. So it's been good. I'm going to be in Dallas coming up August 26th.

Oh, wow. I didn't know that. And Wichita August 27th. Oh, yeah. September 9th. ChrisAlea.com And Chan, we gotta get you on the road Chan, you out on the road any?

Yeah, you and Browz playing some songs In Ohio actually Why don't you tell Nose Man Bro, we are cutting that to the end Don't bring it up Idiot Listen guys, there was a thing that happened in the beginning of the episode that you should stay tuned for

at the end that's actually very depressing and sad but uplifting at the same time. No, no, dude. It's not that. Because you made a big interruption. Now, stay tuned for that. We cut it out because we put it at the end because it was better for the end of the episode.

Now, in the beginning of the episode we need to fucking fire, fire, fire, fire. I'll be in Dallas! Oh, my God, I'm going to die. And I'm in Chicago on the 26th. But the thing is, but the thing is, if you guys stick around to the end of the episode,

the nose guy, it's more inspiring than Rudy. I'll tell you that right now. It's very inspiring. Real story, real shit. It is very inspiring. For the Patreon listeners, the nose guy we talked to last week. Oh, they know. They know tell you that right now. Real story. Real shit. For the Patreon listeners, the nose guy we talked to last week. Oh, they know.

We're going to put ourselves into a self-induced coma. Rudy passed away, didn't he? No, man. The real Rudy. I was just in Notre Dame. Oh, the real Rudy isn't dead? No, the real Rudy's a little bit of time for a Ponzi scheme. He's doing the thing. Oh, is that right? Really? Oh, make that movie, Hollywood.

Oh, that's terrible. Hey, Hollywood, fucking make that movie. Rudy's one of the few movies that make, that's a dude cry movie. But you got to listen to Joe Montana. That was my bit in Indiana. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because it's all fake. Of course it's fake.

That didn't happen. It happened, dude. No, it didn't happen. It's all fake. Theo, you don't believe what Hollywood says. Come on. But I believe that Rudy Rudiger. Worst name of all time.

Rudy Rudiger. He played ball. He played ball, but Joe Montana was like, first of all, we already win the game. He knew he was going to get in. They carried him off the field as a joke. Why does he got to be a freaking party poop on one of the great sports movies of all time? Joe Montana's showing Skechers, and Rudy

played one fuckin' play for Notre Dame. Joe Montana won him a championship. They didn't carry him off the field. He's not going around giving motivational talks. No, the bottom line is Joe wants a movie about him. Yeah. And he should. That's some bitch shit, dude. Yeah, thank you. It is some bitch shit. It's some bitch shit, dude. Can Rudy just have this?

Yeah, let him have his fucking moment. Can Rudy have his one moment? Who gives a shit, bro? You're making coin-off sketchers. Are you kidding me? Yeah. The guy's always going to be considered arguably one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. If not, number two for sure. Well.

And by the way, if it was one game for your life, I'd take Joe Montana over Tom Brady. Tom Brady's career is 20 years span. He's got seven Super Bowls. So we go, okay, that's the greatest career of all time. But Joe Montana was a fucking beast on the field. You won. Why would you take away from fucking Rudy? Eric, I like it.

I like it because not a lot of sports are being taught because these two soy boys don't know sports. But Nick and I know what you're talking about, and we enjoy it. Thank you for that. All right. I like it. Football. Look, I think that obviously the guy is a good player. I think

he had some great receivers and he did it before they had stem cells and all the stuff these boys are on. Great point, Dale. A little bit sideways how he gave him a compliment but then said how he had good receivers. A little bit sideways. If you get any kind of compliment out of Theo, you

gotta take it. That's true, man. I was thinking any kind of compliment out of Theo, you got to take it. That's true, man. I was thinking the other day in my car, Theo doesn't compliment us much. Yeah, yeah, he doesn't. Oh, never. Oh, let me try right now then. Oh, please don't. Please don't.

Here we go, everybody. He's going to be mean. Fuck you guys. Yeah. There you go. I thought about that in my car independently. Love you too, babe. Love you too, Theo.

All right, well, let's go. Let's get into it, huh? Aren't we into it? No, because we cut the thing. Yeah, we're into it, dude. Love you too, Theo. All right, well, let's go. Let's get into it, huh? Aren't we into it? No, because we cut the thing. Yeah, we're into it, dude. Fucking these guys. But we've heard about you in Dallas eight times. August 26, you mean?

It's Eric, dude. He's just such a blonky. What? I wonder how this chick's face is going to move, like if it's going to be nice. Oh, she's pretty. She's pretty. You never know when somebody's face moves how weird they're going to look. We can't just let this slide. That's actually very

funny. What? You want to call me a blonky? Like a honky? A blonky? A black honky? No, black honky. He makes black and honky. A blonky. It's good. It's good. And that's the name of the episode. If you watch the Jeffersons and you know, you know what I mean? Okay. I didn't get

it, but it is very good, but I missed it and I'm sorry. And Theo, I mean? Okay. I didn't get it. It is very good. But I missed it and I'm sorry. And Theo, I want to give you the fucking respect and the credit because that was good. You missed the joke? Oops. By the way, Chrisley.com. But yes. And don't you get your own buttons?

You got a new button? I got to get a woo, woo, woo button. Oh, fuck. It's coming. You have to hook me up. I didn't bring him. Oh, you sent that to the group chat. Yeah, I sent it to the group chat.

He didn't even see it yet. group chat You didn't even see it yet Oh You didn't even look You piece of shit Yeah Alright so what do you think You think she's gonna be really She's gonna be hot

Okay okay You never know how someone's face No look at her nails The tats Come on I know I know I know But you You get

She's gonna be loud I think she's gonna be loud No Does she have like a sort of man voice No no no She has a nice voice Sounds like Halsey But this guy gets tricked

With the long nails and shit. And the tats. You get tricked, bro. Tricked. You can, chicks disguise their ugliness with this shit. Yeah, yeah.

This woman looks hot. I'm telling you she's hot. Okay, let's see. She makes bad decisions, I will say that. And that's even hotter. Hi guys, my name is Amy. Oh, she's hot, yeah.

I have a debate club for you. So about a year ago, I posted a photo on Instagram wearing a cat's hat because, you know, represent. And Christian was handling that Instagram at the time, and we started talking. I had a little Snapchat, and he's been asking me to go out on a date. Problem is I live in Northern California.

It's about a six-hour drive. He's also five-hour. To Southern California. So debate club. Do I go out on a date with him or should I just sting it or wing it, fly away, do a backwards moonwalk

and never see him again? Who is that guy? Some mixed guy. One of Eric's buddies. Thanks. Blonky. How tall is she? She must be into short guys, but Christian is a solid dude, though.

That's the thing. You come down here, it's fun. Everyone knows he's fucking 5'4", but, like, dude, she knows that already. So, yeah, dude, he's a great dude. Isn't he almost legally a midget? He's borderline. I mean, I said hi to him the other day. He can get, like, a handicap pass. He's the toughest midget you know. He hi to him the other day. He can get like a handicap pass. He's the toughest midget you know.

That guy is full of piss and vinegar. He said hi the other day. I heard his voice. I couldn't find him for... Well, that's because of your big fucking nose. You couldn't... It turns out he was in one of my nostrils. It was echoey when I heard it. You have to do the thing.

Oh, Christian! He slipped out! it was actually when i heard you have to do the thing like a water slide because it's cool what's wrong with these boys dude fuck yeah so 410 is the is considered dwarfism look man i'm gonna I'm going to have Christians back here. I think he's a go-getter. He's a very compact man. I don't think you're going to get... I don't even know if he can fully hug someone.

He's not wrapping his arms around anybody. No, but he will... He's just the kind of guy who will get you right out. He'll get your shoes off before you fucking know it. He's capable. He's a handsome guy.

And he could still grow, too. He's very young. And he talks. Yeah, he talks. He's a good talker. He's a hustler. Theo might be the master at the backhanded compliment. Oh, yeah.

Like, there's nobody better. If it was an Olympic event, he'd be like, you know. The way you match people up, you're like Hitch, but like the worst version. You're like Bitch. Christian did send in a response to her. All right, cool. Here we go.

Let's take a break, huh? A little break would be nice. Because I get exhausted. You're exhausted? I get exhausted doing the podcast, but I'm excited about this. Dude, you should be excited because I know you're such a big sports head, and you can watch your sports and make money with my friends at DraftKings Sportsbook. Bet on your favorite sports all summer long, kids.

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gifts. All right? America's number one meal kit hello fresh look i'm gonna keep it short and sweet nick sent me amy's video obviously i say king it the girl is beautiful she has a cute dog she's in northern california i'll fly there hell i'd fly to baghdad if i had to um but yeah i say king it and i hope you guys also say king it so I can go on a date with her. So, yeah. How is it that even in his videos he's short? It's the camera angle. As a short guy, you know your angles, daddy. Why would you make a short camera angle for a short dude? Like, fill the frame, bitch.

It's like Fat Girls. There's a fat ass. That's this. That's my biggest, best, tall angle. Fill the frame, Christian. Fill the frame, dude. Come on. Yeah. Meet in the middle, bro.

Go to San Jose. I don't know where the fuck she is in Northern California, but go to. That's a far way to go. If you have someone to stay with, make a weekend out of it and maybe meet Christian. You could be in the middle, Santa Barbara. This is a smash and grab. Oh, wow. It might not be, bro. It might not be, bro.

It might not be. This could be a cool level. Who's moving their lives? Is he moving or is she moving? Bro. I feel like Christian could move there. I think. Wait.

Don't Theo got some extra rooms? They could just both go to Nashville. Christian could load his whole life up into his shell on his back and fucking move it on up there. Christian would move. I think if Christian found love, he'd go to it. He's that kind of guy. And he can work remote.

Be on segues and shit. Yeah, he works for his brother anyway. Doesn't he work for Gianni? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, they're getting a content house in Encino, Gianni. A hype house? Yeah. A content house?

Oh, yeah. Gianni told me that he was, I thought he was actually, he's not moving? Oh, I guess he's moving back to L.A. They just wrapped season three. Filming. Will it be season four? Probably, right? Yeah, they're crushing.

But we got some confessions. Oh, I love these. These are my favorite. Here's my confession. I guess I shouldn't say my name, but one time I had this girl, and she wanted me to put a gun to her head while she sucked my dick. And I did. And it felt pretty good. I kind of just wanted to get y'all's opinion about that.

Gang, gang. Okay, get away from that chick. You got problems. He doesn't have problems. He put a gun to her head while she sucked him off. She asked for it. Okay, her dad died early, but still, dude, that is insane. I have a friend of mine who's, he was with a girl who made him put on her father's toupee while he fucked her.

I'm out, dude. That's hard. I'm not going to tell you. Oh, no, but you know somebody. I don't. No, you don't know him. You don't know him. I'm out, dude. That's hard. I'm not going to tell you. Oh, no, but you know something. I know. No, you don't know him. You don't know him. You don't know him.

But it is a comic, but you don't know him. Real quick, just to sum this up. I'm telling you, that's some crazy shit. So the guy was like, okay, I'll do it. It's kink shit. It's kinky. You know what? I'll put on dreadlocks for it.

It's not like it was loaded. The confession should have been that he killed her and he buried the body. Yeah, hold on. Real quick quick though. So hit the sum this up. She wanted a gun to her head while he while she sucked them Yeah, that's something hot No, I mean this is crazy Redneck piece of shit. What kind of gun was it, though? You know?

I mean, what about when you bust and just. Just by accident? You're like, oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it wasn't loaded. Come on. I mean, yeah, but. He's not crazy. In some states, you can't even do that, can you?

No. Frown upon. Get a BJ, no. Frown upon. It depends on the race. It depends on the race, Theo. I think you got to have a permit. I don't know what permit you have for that shit. I'll tell you right now, we'll find out how big his dick is depending on that gun.

It's a rifle. What? It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle.

It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. It's a rifle. Theo. Yeah? You know what I'm saying?

I do. Shotgun? Kurt Cobain style? You're far away. You know what you do? Test it out with you get a BJ and you have your friend across a building with a sniper rifle. That's how you can.

Or just say your friend's over there. He's really not there. That is such specific kink. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Let's say you meet a couple. Yeah.

And you're like, while your wife's sucking me up, I need you to have a red dot on her head. We're there. We're there. Are you calculating the wind? Oh, yeah. Are you all set up? Are you all? Are you there? Are you calculating the wind? Oh, yeah. Are you all set up? Are you all set up?

Look, the red dot's like... Yeah, yeah. Be careful, be careful. A little lower. A little lower. She just gets off the Lee Harvey Oswald. I actually don't have a problem with the guy doing it. I have a problem with... No, no, I'm saying the guy's doing what the girl wanted.

Come on, man. Oh, I dress up like clowns. Yes, I'm saying the guy's doing what the girl wanted. Come on, man. Oh, I dress up like clowns. Yes, I'm saying the girl's like Oscar Del Hoya put fucking pantyhose on. What do you say? First of all, you have to be in the gun, so you have to have a gun. So a girl's with you. You're showing her your gun and then she just says, I would love for you to, while I suck your

dick, hold it to my head and then say things. You know, I'm sure. You know what I mean? What happened to just candles? That's a good point, too. Wait, Theo, is romance dead? What happened to Netflix and chill? How have we gone this far?

I love how Theo is acting like he's the consummate romantic over here. Well, I'm just saying, what happened to just putting your coat over a water puddle or something? I actually don't believe that ever happened. Yeah, I don't think that happened either. That was a conspiracy. That was the first conspiracy.

And nobody gave somebody a handkerchief, let them snot in it, and then take it back. Oh, yeah. A lot of guys are into that. It's not going back in my pocket. That's your handkerchief now. Chin's people are into that. Chin, maybe sometimes. Yep.

It's insane. That's a wild one, man. I mean, I would do it and then be like, you probably need therapy. By the way, how about just walk around the puddle, bitch? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I know. No, I know. Even as a kid, when I first saw that, I was like, mom, what are they doing?

Why would they do that? That doesn't make sense. But the problem is, he's holding a gun to her head while she sucks his dick. So the thing is I would do it, right? Because in the heat of the moment, like, yeah, whatever. I'll dress. I'll dance. I'll break dance even though I can't dance.

Whatever you want to do. And then when it gets done, I'd be like, betterhelp.com, promo code cats though, right? For sure you never seen her again. For sure you're never seeing her again, right? But then she'll fucking depends shame you on the internet look i uh i've one time i was with a girl and she was and we were like getting with it and and shit and she said uh put on something that you you've been in and she wanted me to put on me on tv we were hooking up and it was really weird like for me i don't want me to be on tv

while the shit's happening oh but, she meant like put on... What'd you pick? Yes, like put on something that I've acted in. Oh, I feel like you asked for that, Chris. And that man was me. I'm with Theo on this. And that man was me.

No, it was really weird. Chris said, do you mind if I put on my new special while we do this? No, you know what was weird was she was so hot that I was like, wow, that was like the time I learned.

I was like, wow, hot chicks can be crazy too. But is that also the time you learned, oh, I'll do anything. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like, wow. That was like the time I learned, I was like, wow, hot chicks can be crazy too. But is that also the time you learned, oh, I'll do anything? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If she was like, hey, do you have rabbit ears? I'm like, I'm sure.

Yeah, but that's not like she asked him to do like, you know, something crazy. He already is a narcissist. I had it on. All I had to do was play. Yeah, you just had to turn up the volume. He just went, hey, Siri, play me. You know what I mean?

It was before Siri. Wouldn't you rather have that? She was like, oh, can you put on some Louis C.K.? Oh, sure. Is that his Siri? I wish it exposed some dumb shit. Play Miley Cyrus. No, it was like, imagine having to do Montez lines while you fuck a girl.

Try that. I'm sure that's happened. I've done it. I'veez lines while you fuck a girl. Try that. I've done it. I'm sure that's happened. I've done it. I've done it. All right, cool. They was asking me to pay like Forrest Gump. What was the guy asking us, Nick?

He just said that he did it and what else? That was it? He's just confessing, wants to get it off his chest. That's what these people are. Hopefully it feels better. I'd like to know what type of gun it was, to be honest. Well, what's the weirdest thing any of you guys have ever done? He's saying, nah.

What about you, Theo? What's your weird sex story that you were like, I can't believe I did that? Her on top. Theo's like, nah, I've never done that. I don't know, man. Maybe I'm not super – I've got to get more adventurous or something. I think maybe – oh, hooking up in one of those ice machine things.

What do you mean? In an ice machine? Like an icing? In a fridge? Slurpee? No, like in one of those big things where the ice falls in it. Those things are big, though. I can see that.

All right. And that's it, huh? That's not too freaky. What about you? I mean, I've probably done crazier shit than what I said. I just see that. All right. And that's it, huh? That's not too freaky. What about you? I mean, I've probably done crazier shit than what I said. I just can't. Listen, when I was younger, there was this lady on the Weather Channel, and she liked butt stuff.

And she put my legs up like a baby and played with my butt. Yeah, play with the butt is, I mean, that's pretty weird. Dude, legs up like a baby? Pin my legs back like this. I'm not that flexible. She did all that, or you did some of it? Well, you know. She was on the TV doing reporting. Yeah. pin my legs back like this i'm not that flexible she did all that or you did some of it well you know she was on the tv doing uh yeah reporting yeah it was the rapper mercedes yeah that's a

call back to the patron if you guys haven't seen it you'll get the reference yeah um a couple more uh confessions all right all right that was only the first one that was wild that was pretty that was that was insane heavy duty in third grade i had a teacher, Ms. Pitcher. She had these knockers, and everybody was reading Harry Potter. But I was up there during reading time. She would read to us. I was up there massaging her shoulders. She let us do that.

What? I was massaging her shoulders. You get that little folder flap. I could see right down her blouse. It was perfect. It was nice. Hope you're having a good time and a good buzz. Keep on kicking it. Miss Fisher,

third grade teacher, wish I still knew you. He gave her a massage and looked at her tits? Is that what he's saying? Yes, he let him give massages, which is weird. That's very weird. Was this like the 80s or what? It was way weirder and different. We used to have a camp counselor.

He was dating one of the a camp counselor and he would have us, he was dating one of the hot camp counselors and they would, they'd be like come over, at lunch, he'd be like, come over here and they'd have me look down her shirt all the time and they would both laugh about it. Who? Who's this? The counselors. The counselors. Oh, really? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Well. Got to see them tits though. Hey, dude, chalk one up for you. Maybe I wasn't a cute kid. I don't have any story. No one fucked with me, man. I mean, I tried. I tried. I wore short shorts and shit.

No nothing. You're a late bloomer. That first one kind of took them all. We'll do one more. Yeah, but that's okay. I like that. It's fine. It's fine.

That one was weird. We should probably get that teacher's name and number and pass it on to the authorities, but go ahead. All right. was like weird we should probably get that teacher's name and number and pass it on to the authorities but go ahead all right i used to uh live with my girlfriend and uh she had med for um a muscle problem she was getting from a doctor and she was getting drug tested and uh i used to smoke crack in my room tell her i was smoking weed she got drug tested by her doctor came up positive for coke she'd never take coke in her life she got dropped from her doctor came up positive for coke. She'd never taken coke in her life. She got dropped

from her doctor but, you know, luckily we was able to get her a better doctor, you know, and I didn't,

you know, didn't smoke any more crack and, you know, the drug test was cleaned after that.

I don't know why, Theo, you could have just told us this story. I still feel fucking terrible about it. You could have just told us this,

Theo. You didn't have to. How do you get dropped by a doctor? Don't they just fucking help you? No, because it's like. Sorry. You're too fucked up. No.

I mean, imagine, though. But this is, you know what this is like? This is like a dude, because I've heard this before. A dude will, like, cheat on his wife, right? Or a girl, whatever. Right. And get something. Right?

Right, right, right. And then, like, have to, like, crush up the medicine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And tea to give to her. So, and get something. Right? And then have to crush up the medicine and tea to give to her. You know what I mean? Right. With the little, what do they call those? Yeah, the medicine things. Yeah, you gotta give her the antibiotics without her knowing.

So he was providing piss for this lady? No, no, he was just smoking crack and I think she got some secondhand crack. Mortar and pestle. She got some secondhand crack yeah mortal and pesto mortar and pestle yeah yeah she got some secondhand crack i mean who smokes crack yeah but the weird thing is i don't know how the fucking you can get dropped by your doctor because you get drug tested lying to to get prescribed the muscle relaxants oh uh so yeah i understand but then you don't drop to some person who has an addiction or something yeah but what do you say to your doctor it's litigious it's because he doesn't want to get but it comes an addiction or something. Yeah, but what do you say to your doctor? It's litigious.

It's because he doesn't want to get sued. But it comes back that you have crack in your system. And she's like, I've never smoked crack. And he's like, I mean, bitch, you smoked crack. I mean, it's on the thing. I mean, what do you do? Wow, that's a great confession. If you're the doctor, yeah, it used to be marijuana. Now you've been with me for a month.

Now you're smoking crack? Yeah, but that's a great confession. She doesn't know. The girl doesn't know this. She got the secondhand crack from him. It's the ten crack commandments. Boom. If you smoke a crack in your room. How do you not know if somebody's smoking crack around you?

Well, bro, I'm with you. It's not illegal for this girl to be an idiot. She thought I was making top ramen. I was smoking crack. You know what, though? I told her I was making the bed, but I was smoking crack. But wait, guys. If there was crack smoking here right now, I wouldn't know it was crack.

I would know. I would 100% know. I would know. I would know. I would know. I would know. I would know. I would know.

I would know. I would know. I would know. I would know. I would know. I would not know. I would not know. Crack?

No, dude. What does crack smell like? I don't know, but I know if I smell it. No, you wouldn't! Crack? How would you know? It's a dead crack. Come here, man.

You don't know if you smell it. How do you? What does crack smoke smell like? Somebody tell me. Look it up. We can see on the internet. Jen? I've never smoked crack.

Yeah. Does it smell like apples? You know what I mean? I wouldn't know. I'd be like, ooh, that smells funky. But I wouldn't be like, ooh, that's crack. I know this. You wouldn't be like, oh.

Mom, are we having crack? Is that crack? I sure as fuck know you wouldn't be like, ooh, is someone making banana bread? Yeah, but. Plastic or rubber, it says. Right. So that's what I'm saying. If it smelled like burnt plastic in here.

Yeah, but it means she could have been like. You know what? It could have been chin farting. He could have been like, babe, I lit a plastic candle or I burned something. I'm not buying it, man. Or he could have been

smoking the weed in like a pipe and was like, oh, I burned a pipe, babe. All I'm saying is my first instinct wouldn't be, oh, that's crack.

I would be like, oh, somebody burnt some plastic. Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I don't want to be on your side, but I am. Why don't you want to be on my side? but I am. What did it say, Jim?

What did it say it smells like? You pissed me off. It said gasoline, burnt plastic. Yeah, and all that stuff. Motor oil. Yeah, I don't think Theo heard Mark say it. Gasoline, burnt plastic. Oh, no.

It said it smells like fucking crack. And rubber. Earth. Gasoline. Yeah. I just pay inside of Theo Vaughn look i say you gotta smell it don't knock it till you rock it man i think people should if you never tried it i've always wanted to try it i've never smoked okay that's not the thing that we're talking about yeah this is not

like we want to try crack yeah there's confessions of y'all are pussies then yeah i would do i wouldn't mind a little crack or heroin. I'm going to be honest. Come on, man. I'm not drugged up. I'm not heroin, dude. Don't be an idiot. You're an idiot, bro.

Oh, and crack's not? Yeah. I'm kind of with Brendan on this one. There's like a, you know what I mean? Heroin sounds fun. Heroin and crack seem to be in the same idiot space. But isn't heroin the one that has fentanyl? What's the one that has?

No, that's coke, right? Yeah. Ass deal. Who's most likely to smoke crack out of this group? You! This is a crazy coincidence. You look like you sell crack. You!

You! I don't give a fuck about you! Hey, that's good. I like that. That's good. That's good because it's almost the dance. We love them. That's why we love you. Let me feel, man.

This guy is a very coincidental. Okay, let's do it. Debate club. Which one would you rather be hopelessly addicted to for 15 years? Meth or heroin? Oh, wow. Meth takes a real serious toll on your body. So does heroin.

Not too bad. Heroin that detoxes a lot worse. You're going to be detoxing in jail. I don't know. There's a lot of things to consider. I know Brendan's going to say, well, meth, I'd like to lose some weight. You're going to be missing all your teeth. It's not a good look. Bonaire. All right. Let me know what you

think. Gang gang, buzz buzz, sore. You know. Just that quick. I'd rather it be heroin because at least that's sexy. Yeah. Meth is not sexy. Not at all. But you do lose weight. Guys who do heroin, they clean up.

They also play great music. You're going to be sitting there listening to Lil Peep all night. It's going to be fun. I don't know if it's going to be. Or Jimi Hendrix. R.I.P., by the way. Lil Peep had some good music. You know, I think I would go heroin because you get to also get more rest.

You see people on heroin, they're nodding off. And meth, dude, in San Francisco one time I saw two guys eating each other's asses outside of this hotel room. And they were both on meth, and neither one of them wanted to be doing it. That's a weird 69. Oh, my God. Very limber. Meth, bro. Where was this?

How did they do it there? They were just taking turns? This was downtown San Fran. Yeah, just taking turns. Of course it was. It's like neither one of them wanted to be doing it, and that's meth. They could do it at the same time. Just one bends the legs and then the other.

You know what I mean? God, dude. You know what I mean? That's gay. You put your chin on the balls. That's gay. You put your chin on the balls, and then you're in there, and it's actually holding you up.

So you got the legs like this, and you're like. And then these legs are hooked under those person's legs, so they're hooked like this, and then you can roll. I feel like Eric's done this before. I mean, it sounds interesting. You know what I'm saying? Jesus Christ. Here we go.

Almost crack smoke up another homeless dude's ass. That's what he said. That looks like the indie comic. Restricted on this one. Yeah, this is graphic, but this is what the guys at Theo saw, I'm pretty sure. Let me see. Let's make sure. He's a man.

I'm not getting high enough. I'm blowing in my ass. I got to tell you, I've never been close to seeing something like this. So here we go. Oh, my God. Life is not going well when you're blowing. His ass can't be clean. Cracking somebody's ass.

Clean? Oh, this is like that game Telephone you play at school. This is that new Centipede 2 movie. God, let these guys just do this in peace without the fucking... Oh, he's spreading the cheeks. He's spreading the cheeks. Let's go back to the Patreon episode. Thinner anal tissue.

Oh, you do more than blow crack in there, fellas. So this is how you get monkey pox. Yeah, this is monkey pox. But you can't put this on YouTube. So what are we doing? Is this going to be an audio thing? Or we watched it? We won't show it?

We'll show up, smell a crack, then we'll play. Yeah. That guy was just nose deep in his asshole. We can show. Why couldn't? Can you not show that? That's not. There's no nudity in it.

His ass is out. It's medical. It's our medical thing. Cheech and Chong have come a long way. How does somebody not come by and go, hey, bro, bro, bro, your life? You're blowing crack into that man's asshole. Let's clean it up. Let's tighten up.

Is the high better or something? It must be, right? It must be. It has to be. Hey. It's not worse. Hey, hey, hey. I don't know.

I know. That's why I'm asking because I don't know. Into your assholes? Wait. This is the guy that knows crack smell, and now you want to act like, now you want to act like, well, I draw the line on cracking the asshole.

Mr. Picking and Choosing over here. Yeah, buddy. That's right up your alley right there. What are you talking about? That is not up my alley. That will never be in my alley. I can see you out there, cheeks spread, getting that crack high.

You know what that is? They caught rock bottom for those two. I can see you out there, cheek spread, getting that crack high. You know what that is? They caught rock bottom for those two. It does not get lower than that. Crack rock bottom. Crack rock bottom. In parentheses, butthole, like last episode. Or ass crack bottom.

Ass crack. The name of the episode, ass crack bottom. Ass. Crack bottom. Crack rock bottom is good. Crack bottom. I like crack bottom. Whatever No, I can't put ass. Yeah. Crack Bottom. Crack Bottom. Crack Bottom. Crack Bottom. I like Crack Bottom. Whatever. Theo, chime in on this, please.

Yo, what's up? Can you just in case your boy Boston, I'm out here in San Francisco. Agree. Agree. Theo, keeping it nice. Keeping it nice with the mixed race. Okay. You know, I get exhausted, so let's take a break.

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Wow. Plus, every order is insured, ships free, arrives with a little package, doesn't give it away. All right? Shop stress-free and find your forever peace. to bluenow.com today forever another guy from san francisco giants yo what's up king in the sting it's your boy bryson i'm out here in san francisco california and i got a debate club for you guys if you were on fire and you had just one cup of water, what part of your body are you going to pour it on? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. And a special shout-out to my boy, Theo.

I got that Tennessee top hat rocking just so I can. Oh, yeah, squirrel tail. You guys are the best part of my week. I love you all. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I got to tell you, that guy was – Theo, I think that the mullet works for you. That guy was good-looking until he put his hood down.

Agreed. Yeah. Theo's the only guy I know that can pull off. Theo, it works. Bobby Lee, it works. Well, Bobby just has long hair now, but yeah, it's a tough look to pull off, but you do it well, Theo. Especially if you're going to dye it.

Thank you. Yeah, your face, bro. Or dick, I guess. Face. It's got to be face. Face. Face. I like that.

Theo took that compliment well. Thank you. Face. At least I'll give a compliment. I don't want to look like Freddy Krueger for the rest of it. Yeah, yeah, face. Yeah, face all day. Yeah, but here's the thing, though.

Oh, boy. If you had the one cup of water, you're on fire. Yeah, yeah. How is this one cup of water? It's not. This is all fake. That's too many details. So you're saying you could save one part of your body.

I guess so. Yes, there you go. That's what we're saying. Yeah, there you go. So what are you going to save? Thanks for fucking making it less funny and more literal. Yeah. You're welcome.

Yeah. Okay. Actually, you know what? Seriously, thank you. So we're asking what part of the body you want to save. Thank you for cleaning that fucking question. Yeah. Face all day.

Yeah, face. No question. It's face all day. Yeah, but it's face. It's face. Yeah. You got to have conversations and shit. Do you have thoughts on this one, Theo?

I'd probably say my hair, I think. I knew he was going to say that. Unreal. So they can still recognize you. Well, no. Anyway, I can look like a French fry and still fuck. You feel me? I guess, man.

I don't know. People are going to be like, damn, that guy's face is like Freddy Krueger. But do you see his hair? His hair was lit, though. You see his hair, y'all? His hair looking sexy. Your dick is going to look like that guy's nose we had on at the end of the episode. You're going to be sexy Freddy Krueger.

Hey, by the way, Theo. Theo, my nose feels good again right now. I can breathe. Really? Yep. It just happened. Wow. So the surgery is working.

I had the spray. Do it, bro. Theo, I have this fucking spray. Before the episode last time, Eric was here. And fucking he's like, I have the saline spray. And Brandon's like, can I use it? And I was like, don't touch it with your nose. He puts it directly in his fucking nose.

Oh, Eric saw it. You were knuckles deep. It was knuckles deep. Oh, thank you. You know what? Listen, Nate Dogg, it ain't fun if the homies can't have it. We didn't talk about Arm & Hammer saline spray? Yeah, I don't think so. Brandon will use anything, man.

He'll use anything. That! Unless you got crack in your ass. It ain't no fun if the homies can't spray your nose. Yeah, I think that crack in the ass is a lot. Wow. All right. All right, well, let's see what's up with...

He's got a trailer park hack. Okay. He sent one in before. He was the white beater with the eggs. So, Thor's winning problem back with another trailer park hack. Okay. He sent one in before. He was the white beater with the eggs. So, Thor, Sven and Rob, I'm back with another trailer park hack. So, last night, I'm an idiot. I forgot to put my ice packs back in my freezer. So, I didn't have a way to cool my lunch.

But luckily, my kid was being a little bitch this morning and wanted a popsicle. But I told his ass no. So, I took him with me to cool my lunch. Tight move. Gang, gang buzz buzz Father of the year So what happened to his kid Is he Jamaican

He was speaking So he wanted to He didn't freeze his ice packs for his lunch Which is already ridiculous. Okay. They're just going to open with that. That's ridiculous. Construction worker, you got to put them in the.

So he took the popsicles that his kid wanted and made them. You know what I mean? Dick move. To keep this up. Your kid's like, fuck that. That's keep, showing your kids the streets. There's nothing wrong with showing your kids the streets. I agree.

That's the streets. And I know streets. Street it up. You know the streets. La Cunada, California, baby. Calvin's all street. Calvin's all. I've always said that. La Cunada You know the streets? La Quinhada, California, baby. Calvin's all street. I've always said that. La Quinhada is where the streets are?

Yeah. Montclair, New Jersey. La Quinhada? No. Yeah, that's what it was called, bro. The motel? No, no. That's La Quinta.

Fair enough. We got a looker here. This guy's a good-looking guy. And he's got some lines. This is Matt Rife. Finally, some swag. Swag with no chin. This is Matt Rife. Finally, some sweat, some swag with no chin. This is Matt Rife, Eric's boyfriend.

Let's see what he's got. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. What's going on to everybody that showed up in the studio today? I need some relationship advice. Me and my girl have been dating since January. We want to move in together. That's not the issue. The issue is I wanted to move into my apartment, but it might be a little tight for two of us. And I'm saying that because I live in a loft. So that's not the issue the issue is i wanted to move into my apartment but it might be a little tight for two of us and i'm saying that because i live in a loft so that's the bedroom and then what you see is what you get baby so we went and looked at other one bedrooms two bedrooms

we forgot that we live in the bay area bay area is expensive as hell so i want you guys opinion on this should we stay here for another year save up cash and then move out to that one two bedroom that we want or do we kind of roll the dice get that instant gratification and go get a place right now we want to hear what you guys have to say about this we have some time before we make the decision this too go ahead brendan you were the only reason why my girl watches the show she's absolutely in love with you quite frankly it's fucking annoying but i'm about it i'm the one that put it on the show so i guess my own fault but i love you guys gang gang buzz buzz soar whoa whoa whoa whoa oh the guy can croon too and he's gonna die in peace dude don't sleep bro you might replace me that dude's

hot yeah yeah that guy you know what have that guy on the show and you'll be with that yeah yeah how about i blow crack in his asshole and then go with his girl? See? I knew you were into that. Full circle. I knew he was blowing into that asshole shit. Why doesn't she come to your loft and stay there for a year?

That's what he's saying. He's asking. Yeah, do that. He cut it out, but he elaborated that he thought the loft might be too small because he can't

I understand, but you're only doing it for a year. No, no. They've only been together since January. Well, it is almost, well, it's August. Yeah, but still.

Yeah, no, you're right. No, you haven't been with her that long. You should live in this loft for a year to really test it out, see if you can deal with each other, and then it works. It'd be fun, too. It's fun, too. Then it works, so you move. Me and my girl are starting a 600-square-foot apartment.

Eric is 100%. I sleep on the ground. You guys should have been sleeping together, but. Well, we did on the ground. You didn't have a bed? Uh-uh, I didn't have a bed. We just had a mattress. Yeah, but it doesn't count because she's Mexican. Oh, no, she was comfy as fuck down there.

That's what I'm saying. She was fine. I don't know. Theo, what do you think? You're in a relationship. I am alone. Do you sometimes wish you had someone that lived with you? I'll answer that, yes. Yeah, sometimes I do. I think it would be nice.

But I think if you're going to be getting something eventually, I would just wait and kind of then you at least kind of can go to each other's places now and still have your own space when you want it. No, no, she's going to move in with him, though. But did they say they're in San Francisco? Yes. Well, first of all, get the fuck out of San Francisco. Well, that's what he was saying.

He was saying they looked around. No, get out of there. The rent was too expensive. Yeah. And I think that they're hesitant because they really don't know each other that well yet. They haven't been together. They haven't been in the trenches yet.

So they need to live together in that small space. Nah, roll the dice, dude. Get out of San Francisco. People are blowing, cracking each other's assholes. Not everyone. Get out of San Francisco. People are blowing crack into each other's assholes. Not everyone. Get out of San Fran. 45% of the people. Yeah.

Okay. That's a lot. Eric is... 45% of the people are blowing crack into people's assholes, and another 65% or whatever it is, 55% are getting it in the anus with the fucking crack shit. That took me way too long to say. Dude, that's fucking... Bro, that's Biden's aquarium up there.

That's exactly what that place is. Yeah, San Francisco. San Francisco's, oh my God. I went to San Francisco one weekend. I saw so much shit go down that I was like, I saw a guy shitting in between two mailboxes. I saw two dudes fucking in a car.

I saw two separate dudes crying in different cars. I saw a guy get hit by a bus and I saw another guy leave a cash checks place slam the door and the whole front door shattered because it was all glass. Were you doing crack? That was in San Francisco. Just in San Francisco. I'm just saying like whatever. I mean it's just

a weird like that's like I don't know. I still feel like they should take you know. But get your dime. Get her somewhere safe. Eric's right. Come to safe. Eric's right. Come to LA. Eric's right. Test it out in the loft. Yeah, test the loft out.

That's a fun time. Don't move it. It can be a fun time. Yeah, if they're both fucking. It's hard to fight, though. When you're in a loft and you fight and one person storms upstairs. But I can still hear them breathing. Yeah, you can't.

Yeah, you can't even hide behind a wall. The bathroom is the only other room in the whole place. That's going to be hectic. Yeah, one bathroom. That's how you'll know, Theo. That's how you'll know. Hopefully you have a fan in there, like one of those fans. Also, you can't call your buddy and talk shit about your girl.

Listen, Theo can move a chick into his palatial estate in Nashville and be fine. You know, just, right? But, Theo, you don't have to want. You got nine bedrooms. Theo lives on a compound out there, man. Theo, you own a Theo compound. Theo, do you ever wish that you moved a girl into your plantation? compound. Theo, do you ever wish that you moved a girl into your plantation?

I would like to have a woman at some point. Can we just do Dave the Game with Theo? I think it'll happen. It'll happen, man. You got a lot of time. Hey, it can happen late. Fuck off, Brendan.

What's going on, Brendan, Chris, Eric, Theo? You decided to show up to work today. I moved up to third. I got a king in a stinger for y'all. It's going to be wearing a wife beater. Personally, I've never understood why anyone would wear a wife beater underneath a shirt. Some days it'd just be hot as hell.

Why have an extra shirt on? I agree. But for them thicker boys out there, sometimes I'll be hearing they use them as brawls you know to conceal them tits but yeah let me know what you guys think Eric and Chris congratulations on getting married I always knew you two were meant for each other and hopefully in the near future I'll see some Ohio shows from all four of you maybe yeah. Yeah, bro. So, yeah, let me know. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, soar. And woo, woo, woo, woo.

Can I take this one? As a resident fat guy. Okay, go ahead. Unless you're in the Italian mafia or you're Brian Callen, don't wear a fucking wife beater. Or you're doing a play. Okay, don't wear just a wife beater. I agree. But, like, I've been on a set, okay, and it's, like, hot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've been on, when you're on a set, and it's hot, and you wear the wife beater underneath because you sweat. And you don't want it to go through if you have a certain type of shirt on. I guess. Well, I guess, man. I like a wife beater. Of course you do. I think you get home from work, you take your shirt off, you put that wife beater on. I thought you meant your neighbor.

It's an evening t-shirt. It's a t-shirt for the evening. Just wear a fucking tank top, bro. I have always had a thing. Wife beater, sure, whatever, but just don't... I don't know why this bugs me. Don't wear a fucking wife beater

at the table while you're eating. That bugs the shit out of me. Or Crocs. It's just so... If you're eating with a fucking... If you're Italian, you can do it. Yeah, because... you're eating with a like if you're italian you can do it yeah because yeah because yeah well if you're italian you do it you got a gold chain the chest hair kind of the style but yeah it's dope yeah but no no you can only do that though if you

have a long sleeve button-down shirt hung up yes behind you that you're going to eventually put on there's only it has to be in frame. Hold up. There's only one white dude who can wear a wife beater outside the house. His name is Kid Rock. Oh, I see. Yeah. No, no. Because you're about to go out and you don't want to spill the lasagna on your shirt.

This is some fat guy shit. Yeah. You don't want to spill the lasagna on your shirt. So you take the shirt off. You put it onto the side. You have the wife beater on because you can't be yeah you can't be bare chested at the table i understand just have another have another shirt on though it's the wife beater but now the wife the wife beater also

lets a woman know what's going on in the household that's right eric you know that's where the name comes from remember the fucking white suit He had for the wedding Yeah And you And you always have Yeah I said I sent Chris a picture

Of when I got When I You know Tried it on That he's like This guy The nerve of this guy To wear a white suit

Who says you I have a stain on every shirt I own Yeah And this guy's wearing a white Sticey I know but he made it out today though It wasn't my choice But that's why

Life beaters are great. Can you get like a pack of fucking 19 for six bucks? Yeah. Yeah. When I was growing up, I remember I got some for Chris. I wanted them for Christmas and I got a pack for Christmas of three wife beaters. And man,

and bitches were nice. Three wife beaters. Yeah. Wear them in the evening. I stole them. Like I had so many from workaholics. I stole them all. Yeah.

People would wear them in the evening. It's even time shirt. Ah, man all. People would wear them in the evening. It's an evening time shirt. Man, you get that in a big gulp. You're one step away from a Confederate flag. Next thing you know, you're storming the Capitol. Do you own any wife beaters? Do I? Yeah.

No, I don't. Absolutely not. You own some, right, Theo? I have a couple. Of course he does. How about the one in the hat? Let your arms be free to do stuff. You're not as constricted.

You're almost ready for bed. Wear a basketball jersey. It it's a nighttime shirt but do you shave your underarms no i don't neither do i don't male i'm an adult man yeah me too i never understood uh you do and you do right some yeah you don't want it too long i don't even touch it it looks like i'm like got you know it looks like you have somebody in the headlock. Something in my buckwheat in the headlock. Who said that? Yeah, whoever that was, but that's what it looks like. Was it Chappelle? I don't know. No, that was one of those mama jokes.

But let me look at Eric's knuckles. Of course his armpits are hairy. Armpits hairy? Sorry that I'm, you know. Man, what's that ass look like? Look, Theo's probably smooth as hell. I bet you got a smooth booty, huh, Theo? What?

Bruh. You got a smooth ass booty? Yeah, I know he does. I'll tell you what. He got a pink hole. I'll tell you what. If I'm blowing crack, if I'm blowing crack at everybody's assholes, it's going to be Theo. It's going to be Theo.

I feel you. He got a thick. If you're bent over, you just tuck the balls. He won't even know the difference. Damn, y'all being gay, man. Not me, bro. Not me. But you're listening to it and not saying nothing.

Yeah. This is a fine amount. This is a good enough amount of hair, but that's hilarious, by the way. You seen that new trend of girls growing out their armpit hair? There's a lot of girls that do that, man. There's not, though. There's not a lot. The vegan ones, yeah, man.

That's disgusting. The ones that are into, like, you know, natural look. Disgusting. I have a friend like that. She's into, like, natural. Oh, man. She would not be my friend. She got fired from.

From Thick Boy? No, she was. Worked at a restaurant that they were trying to be like, you know, sell a certain thing. And the other guy was like, yeah, you know. No, I get it. Got fired too in a heartbeat. Probably smells like hummus. What else you got?

Oh, boy. Speaking of white beaters, this is the last one. Hey, guys. Can you sting it in your life? Trying to get some stuff off my chest. My feelings are a little hurt about the roast you guys put me through the other day. Oh, it's ants. Oh, this is antsy.

I think I have normal-sized fingers. Never heard anything about them before. But now I'm walking around with this huge complex of people talking about me. My son doesn't want to see me anymore. It's bad. It's really bad. Oh, I remember. um it's bad it's really bad oh i remember anyway which which of you guys is most likely to go to jail for a domestic dispute gang gang buzz buzz chris d'alia you can suck it and eric griffin you

can suck it too i guess we went hard hey sorry big big hands motherfucker that you got him hidden now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like the frame is so low because his hands would just be like he's in the back seat with those big ass hands probably i think chris or brendan wow wow really i mean that's what you think of it not chris i don't think chris at all yeah i'm not a violent guy. Well, you fight. No, I don't. You're used to though. I understand why somebody would say that. I don't drink at home. But I understand why somebody

would say that. You don't drink at home? I don't drink at home. I never drink at home. So you're going to get home drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair point. You get home drunk and then the wife didn't have the tacos ready or some shit and you just flip out. I don't drink at home. I don't drink at home. Why would I drink beater on. I don't drink at home. Why would I drink at home?

I'm not going to be driving back home. Exactly. He's going to kill it. He's going to run his family over in the driveway. That doesn't count as domestic abuse. How the fuck am I the domestic violence one here? Are you shitting me? I don't know.

Eric probably has some. In my background? Oh, there's the hands. What about Theo?? I don't know. Eric probably has some. In my background? Oh, there's the hand. What about Theo? Yeah, there's handsy. Eric's got some. Eric's probably got some. That's his full hand, too, by the way.

I feel like Eric. That's thumbs. Eric and Theo. Probably. Ah, look at handsy. His new name is handsy. I mean, honestly, that hand is bigger than his fucking head. Dude, his pinky is like a big toe.

Yeah, yeah. How is that a thing? You know what his pinky is? As big as that other guy's fucked up nose that we're talking about. Right, right, right. All right. That'll be on later. We cut it out to the end.

It's on the Patreon. So listen, Theo and Eric have, I believe that you guys have that one day anger. That one day all the fucking wheels fall off and you go nuts. I like this. You've got that one day anger. I like this out of you, Chris. I keep it at a level where I'm like, these motherfuckers, and that's healthy. Yes.

He actually has fought all of his anger out in his life. Facts. You guys got that one day. Yeah. Keeping it nice right now, but snap anger. Snap city. Feel more than me, though. You guys got it. Snap city over there.

On the couch, snap city. Snap city. Crack city. I say no. That's it? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not beating on no woman.

Well, yeah, I guess. Or gay man, if you're gay. Or someone black. Aw, dude, come on, man. This shit is over, dude. What, your black hatred? Once you get that last fucking session of that laser removal for that Confederate flag. Wait, please put the big pinky back up on the screen.

Zoom out, though, so we can see it. Yeah. That pinky looks like it's going to beat that dude's other fingers up. His pinky is the bully of the hand. You know what I mean? Wow, dude. Why would I beat my wife when I could go to therapy with her? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. No, I think that's a good tag for her. Hey, his. Why would I beat my wife when I could go to therapy with her? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. No, I think that's a good tag for therapy. Hey, his hand looks like a starfish. No, Theo wouldn't beat his wife. He would emotionally abuse his wife. Oh, God. That's different.

It would be emotional abuse. I mean, I'm his partner. He emotionally abuses me. He would never put his hands on her. He would just put his, like, his compliment on her. I'd rather him put his hands on me. He's like the Professor X of emotional abuse. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two long sentences emotionally abuses Brendan, so. That's true. It doesn't take much. Got him! No, he got two long sentences, especially when it's, I think Eric deserves more pay. Bring it!

Well, let me do this for the cutout. Come back to it right there. And we're back. And we're back. We had a little dispute. Yeah. Back to Big Pinky. Starfish hand.

I love how he was so angry that he didn't show his hands in the next video. Yeah. That's very telling. Very telling. And he makes sure, too. He's like, let me put this thing way down here like a Christian video. You know what I mean? Yeah, they probably honestly got even bigger.

His hands are insane. Yeah. What if when he gets mad, his hands swell? You know what I mean? So his hands. This is the phone. No, please. And dude.

This is the phone with his hands Guys I don't appreciate it I don't appreciate it guys Making fun of my hand Here's his hand with a 40 ounce Please send another video We need another video next week Yeah that's him right now

That's it It ain't fun if the homies can't have none We need another video. We need another video next week. Yeah, that's him right now. That's it. It ain't fun if the homies can't have none. All right, well, there we go, guys. How is his this finger? It's gangster, bro. His index finger. No, he's homeless starfish. No, his fuck you finger is like three times the size of the – that's crazy.

He got crazy hands. Maybe it's an optical illusion. Oh, it looks like DJ Khaled. It looks like Digit Khaled. Digit Khaled. I was just going to say the same thing. Dude, I was just going to say the same thing. That it?

Really? More like DJ Jose. What? Before we get out of here, let's go to the interview that we teased earlier. Oh, yeah. Oh, we definitely need to do that. Let's talk to him. Shout out to.

Let's talk to our boy. If you haven't seen it, he was on the Patreon. He fell on some hard times. His nose fell on even harder times. We had more follow-up questions for him because the elephant in the room was that his nose looked like a fucking bratwurst and he was only talking about something else.

What was it? I don't remember what he was talking about. God, I can't even remember. His nose looked like a fucking baseball mitt. But he explains a lot of it, and also he asked us to roast him, so don't be mad at us. He asked us to roast him. He wanted to feel that. Even though he asked for it,

it... We didn't know his story. Yeah, it was one of those things where you go, oof. I felt bad the whole time. Me too. Well, I felt bad when he was saying what happened to him, yeah. I know, but I felt bad because of like... No, it's fine. We were going in on him. He wanted to be part of it. Yeah.

Eric was mean about it. What? I'm just- It's not like we were talking about big hands. You know what I mean? You guys were mean to big hands. All right. Well, let's talk to him.

You guys want to do like a Rick Glassman snap, and we'll just go to the end of the video? Okay, so here we go. And thanks for sticking with us. Here's that combo we were talking about. The last episode was the Patreon episode. We got a submission from a guy who had a really fucked up nose surgery. Now, you know. That doesn't do it justice.

No, no, no. I know. But Theo and I, we're no strangers to sinus surgery. This dude took it a step further. He had facial reconstructive surgery because of a car accident he was in. They put a snorkel on his face yeah and it looked like a fucking burnt bratwurst was across his face and so we talked to him on patreon go sign up for our patreon if you'd like to see that conversation and we have him on zoom is that

right nick yeah because we only had his video and he didn't tell us how it happens so we were in the patreon's litty like a tit it is and this wasn't the elephant in the room this was the elephant we were the elephant here we were like what we it was such a he didn't bring it up jokes no no no no not a fat joke but we wanted to talk to him about the nose thing and he said he would zoom us uh and do we have yeah that frank baby yeah that face frank and and be very clear we didn't know he was in a car accident no No, we didn't. I kind of lit him up. Well, I mean, what did you think happened? No, he said for you to roast him.

All right, so he's right here, right? What's your name, buddy? My name's Eric. Eric, what's up, my man? How are you, man? How are you, Chin? Is this Chin? Chin's over here.

Yeah, Chin. We got Chin, Nick, Mark. What's up, Eric? Theo, me. Look, it's clearly still affecting him if you ask him for chin. You know what I'm saying? Right, right, right. And all the guys, chin there?

Yeah. Everybody's here, and he's like, is that chin? Good looking out. Good looking out. Hey, chin. I love chin. Chin's the best. Aw, thanks.

We know chin's the best. Thank you, man. Chin is one of the top seven people in this group. Do you know him from back in his gang days? Is that what this is? Yes, I do, Eric. Brother. So what happened brother brother you

got obviously something occurred to you and you got you know you came up uh you know you kind of got a little bit of um he took a l yeah that's it difference is going on how are you doing theo it's my pleasure to speak to you you were just in cincinn, and I missed you. Oh, man. What made you miss him? My nose. Yeah, I know, buddy. I know, buddy. But this is way better. I was in a 2005

Tahoe and smacked a brick wall at 35 miles an hour. I sent Nick the picture of the Tahoe. How did you not see the brick wall? That big boy whiskey. I'm just kidding, Brendan. I don't know.

They thought maybe I had a strip. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, brother. I'm sorry, buddy. So what exactly do they do to your nose? Because it looks like it goes all the way up to the forehead. Yeah, yes, it did. They reconstructed it Wednesday.

I'm not sure what they did to my nose. I've had a bunch of surgeries. As you can tell, my eye is stitched up right now. What they did is I guess tried to add the skin from my forehead to my nose so I can, you know, get some, kill some birds out here. If you know what I mean? Amen. Maybe we got to get some leg in your life. And did you have a lady when this happened or what, what was going on? Uh, no, I didn't have a lady, but I do have my son's mother's been taking care of me. She's right here enjoying this, enjoying the process with me.

That's great, man. And then when you got in the car wreck, you said you had to relearn how to walk. So I'm assuming you had concussion. Yeah, I was on life support for 21 days. Damn, bro. And they put me in a deuce coma. Yeah, I woke up and I didn't know where I was. I freaked out and they actually had to handcuff me

to the bed because i was like it was pretty it was pretty gnarly um i couldn't talk or walk for maybe three months but i eventually started you know getting it back and then uh i got cobit and uh me and my father got told that the same co. And he passed away like three months after my accident. So my son's mother brought me in and I've just been hustling, you know. And so has it changed some of your life? Would you do it again, you think, if you could go through it again? Oh, man. Yeah.

Hey, buddy, we're with you, man. We hear you. We can hear your pain dude and uh we know it we know it you've had a rough go dude fuck you got you got people there to support you um don't cry brother we got you man nah fucking cry bro here's the funny story i can't cry because I lost my tear ducts in my act. There you go, bro. Silver lining. Always looking at the positive fucking part there.

That's why I like you. And I knew it. That's why I said don't cry. Yeah, he was one step ahead of you. He could watch the notebook and nobody's going to know he's crying. Exactly. Dude. Exactly. My man, we are so happy that you're still with us.

I mean, this could have went a different way, dude, and it didn't. And it didn't. And your will and your will and your strength is keeping you going buddy how can we help you out man how can we help you out send me some merch i would like to get your signature and see our signature done all of the good choices i'm getting my sleeve tattooed right now so i would love a signature to get all you guys. You guys really helped. You know. Well, thank you. My brother, you're a fighter, dude. We're proud of you here, man. We're going to send you some chin merch too, man.

Yeah, I got you, bro. Hey, Brendan, I'm a better fighter than you in the UFC. Oh my God. You know what? You might be that no shows otherwise. No, no. Well, you came out looking better than Brendan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You look better than me, my man. Thank you, guys, so much. I appreciate you, brother. If we can help you in any fashion, you let us know, man. Yeah, Eric, we'll be in touch, and we'll send you some stuff. I'll send you Chris's cell when we get off. Yeah, please. And I'm a super fan as well i'm a

super cool thing i have one question i have one question real quick what are how did how did it change some of your perspective man going through this because not a lot of people get this close to death and and make it back what what's some of that been like have you had any perspective change or what was it like well i mean yeah i was actually i suffer from the same addiction you suffer from i've got about four years sober that happened one year into my accident and it's just you don't stop fighting you know that's that's what never give up i guess well you got a little boy you said yeah yeah he's 13 okay there you go man that'll get you sober on the right track do it for him my man yeah it didn't at first but it's definitely helped me stay sober i bet brother

well we're rooting for you here man anything you can do you know you got you got i don't know how many fucking dudes we got in this room it's real cock fest you can't see it but you got it i don't know you got seven friends now also i did just have weight loss surgery and i've lost 200 pounds since oct October 30th Us guys have more surgery than Theo Any of you boys want to meet me at 200 Let me know I love it man

Brendan could never Me and Eric are out Yeah We're out of the game Nothing keeps this guy down You know what man your? Your attitude is inspiring. It really is, dude. And you said that we help you, but guys like you, you keep us going too, man.

And I mean that. I love it, man. I know you just had no surgery yourself. Yeah, it wasn't. Well, not like yours. Wasn't half as bad, but yeah, I hear you, buddy. What city did you say you live in, brother? Cincinnati?

Cincinnati, Ohio. Gotcha. Beautiful place. is bad but yeah i uh i hear you buddy what city did you say you live in brother cincinnati cincinnati ohio gotcha beautiful place well look man you know that we're there with you dude and yeah we got a we have to keep in touch and see how this thing heals up man what is your prognosis for healing up oh well i go i go for another surgery on the 17th where they're going to try to shape the skin. Then I have cornea surgery coming in September for my eye. It's a process, but we're almost there. Friday actually marks two years

since this happened. Thank you, guys. This is the best gift I could ever get. You stay sober, brother. Do it for that fucking kid, man yeah let's go buddy thank you guys very much all right buddy i appreciate it yeah we love you man we love you brother stay strong brother have a good one be good thank you so much wow man that's uh important dude a wild story man wow maybe uh yo maybe uh that poor dude yeah but i could use some

background before he lit him up on patreon it's all well he told us too but it's all it's all uh it was like come on dude it was like he got in an accident and it was like this i thought it was gonna be like you know you have a wife no she died in the accident and it was like it was like we were gonna keep going and going i was like it's you have a wife? No, she died in the accident. It was like we were going to keep going and going. I was like, it's getting worse and worse. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I mean, look, it looked like he got his nose job at AutoZone. You know? It was like. AutoZone. Yeah, I wanted to ask about the doctors in Cincinnati, but I don't know. You know? Yeah. But, no, it's amazing that he just has such a good sense of humor about everything.

Man, it's powerful. No, he's a good dude. That's a tough one. He lost his dad with COVID and shit. Yeah, right. That's amazing that he just has such a good sense of humor about everything. Man, it's powerful. No, he's a good dude. That's a tough one. He lost his dad with COVID and shit. Yeah, right. That's what I'm saying. It just kept getting worse. It is wild, though, man.

Like, seeing an attitude like that really fucking, like, because, you know, you get all in your head about shit. I know, man. And you just think about it. You think we got problems? Like, that fucking is. No, I know, man. Fight and do it. I talk to all of you, and we all have our shit, you know?

And it's just like, you see a guy like that that just- You know, obviously, he's got the days where he's struggling, and some days are worse than others. But you have a conversation with a guy like that, and he's smiling? I mean- Was he? It just sobers you up. Yeah.

Oh, my God. So that was what we were talking about. That guy's the Rudy of car wrecks. Yeah, no. So that's what we were talking about. And our hearts- I'll be in La Jolla. No, no, no.

Comedy store, 9th, 10th, 11th. Listen, there it is. Nobody cares about your Dallas day, but when is it? No, I'm not telling. You say Dallas again? August 26th, sure. I'm going to break my nose on this fucking. I'm saying, what that guy, our hearts go out to him, and we wish him a speedy recovery,

even though he's got like three surgeries left. I know. I think more than that. Yeah, maybe even more. But yeah. And yes, I'll be there. And he might be on, he's probably on pain relievers, hopefully, because it looks like. Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to than that. Yeah, maybe even more. But yeah. And yes, I'll be on it. And he might be on it. He's probably on pain relievers, hopefully, because it looks like. Yeah, yeah.

I didn't want to ask that. Hey, can you be on stuff like that if you're trying to get sober? Yeah, you can. Because wouldn't that relapse it? You can, but what's he going to do? You just have to be like, you know, you have to stick to whatever the doctor says. Oh, wow. Yeah, he can't abuse it.

He's probably taking three, four Tylenol or something like that. You know what I mean? Tylenol? Daddy, I'm talking about Cody. I'm just saying. I'm talking a three, four Tylenol or something like that. You know what I mean? Tylenol? Daddy, I'm talking about Cody. I'm talking about Percocets. I don't know. But you know what? Maybe we can do like a Tylenol.

Damn, bro. You can get the guy's pay. Why don't you get the guy's PayPal or something? Eric's like, he probably is fucking sticking his finger in Dayquil and just tasting it with his thumb. Man. Oh, sorry. That guy might be on Advil at night.

Yeah, Eric's probably on a bunch of ibuprofen. Fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you. Yeah, man's probably on a bunch of ibuprofen. Fuck you. Fuck you. And fuck you. Yeah, man. See you next week. King Sting. I'm in Chicago.

26. One show. Then Boston, September, and Appleton, Wisconsin. Love you guys. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Dallas.

Wichita. Atlanta. DC. We're my merch to all his shows. We're Thick Boy merch to all his shows. Love you, Theo. Love you. See you, Theo. Love you. See you, bud.

It's the King and the Sting. Back up in the Sting. I just got a call that said they want to hit the ring. They got me working OT all night long. How many times I got to make this song? Hey, hold on, what is this? Now y'all want to switch? I'll just add a CB in there.

We can nail y'all out in crisp. How's that going to fit? Wait, I get the gist. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the king, the wing, and the sting It's the wing, and the king, and the sting Hold on, hold on Hold on, wait a minute, let me think It's the king, and the sting, and the wing

Let's go King, and the sting, and the wing Got it full circle, I put on the whole team Legendary trio, Britney, Chris, and Theo What you mean? You know it's the king And the sting in the wing