The Golden Hour - Episode 19: Politically Correct with Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

The boys reminisce bout old Nelly hits, catch up with the St. Lunatics and talk battle rap, prison fun, Elon musk vs Jeff bezos, Tesla Uggs, Marvel vs DC vs Hanna-Barbera, Sugar Raycism, Chief Qweef, insecurities, new Wed, Bed or Dead's, Buns of Anarchy and much more.Postmates - promo code: KATS2019MVMT - http://mvmt.com/katsLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On holiday, there's nothing like doing nothing. As an Expedia member, you can save up to 30% when you add a hotel to your flight, so you can go out there with great ambition to do absolutely nothing for less. Expedia. Made to travel. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. Like who owns Spider-Man? I don't know. Yeah.

How do you think he feels? Do you think Spider's making any fucking back end on Spider-Man? Do you think Tobey Maguire's happy about that? Yeah. You think some dude named Robey Maguire, who there obviously is a guy probably. Can you look him up? R-O-B-Y Maguire. Yeah, you think he's making bank, bro. Definitely some dude outside of

Glasgow who's shining shoes but doesn't even have any himself, I bet. The barefoot shoe shiner. See if we get a robe. Just Toby came up. You think Arnold's getting fucking compensated every time someone mentions the movie Twins? No, dude. It's Hollywood. You think Sam Darnold

is getting fucking confused for Arnold Schwarzenegger? What about Sam Darnold Schwarzenegger? Where's his money? Yeah. Dude. Are we shooting? Let's shoot. Let's shoot, bro.

Hey, as Lee Harvey Oswald would say, let's shoot. Let's shoot. Yeah. As Lee Harvey Oswald would say, you miss every shot you don't take. Yeah, that's true, dude. Hey, dude. Let's pop off three. Bro, he shot 66% from downtown, bro.

Motherfucker sniper. Unprecedented, man. The wooden gun. Yeah. And then still somehow escaped. With a wooden gun. A wooden gun. Yeah.

Sick. And he walked right out the door. Yeah. Can you imagine? A lot of people hate on that guy. You got to respect the hustle. L.A. show, dude. Yeah, bro.

I went to, I went and toured his place where he lived when he was growing, when he was living in Dallas. Oh, I did too. Did you really? I went on the tour, dude. Wow. I went on the tour, man. That's awesome.

I didn't think you'd go on that. I didn't think you were kind of like a, you know, a knowledge type of guy. Yeah. I'm a conspiracy guy. So I know what really happened. I like to hear all their go on that. I didn't think you were kind of like a knowledge type of guy. Yeah, I'm a conspiracy guy, so I know what really happened. I like to hear all their malarkey as I'm on the tour. And then when we come back around, I go, give me my fucking money back. Yeah. That was a lie.

Propaganda. White House propaganda. Oh, dude, I tried to pull out a gun while I was on the tour and show them how it couldn't have happened. Me too. I tried getting where he was at, and I went, you can't even fit in here. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah, unless somebody's holding their legs, unless you're playing that wheelbarrow game,

and then he aims. Yes, unless you're playing monkey. Yeah, what? That's what we call a monkey as a kid. Or unless you're a midget, which I don't think he was. Yeah. It's all fake, dude. Fake news.

And, dude, a lot of little people are, you know, these days. Can't trust them. Well, you know what they just said? I was just watching. I started watching this Game of Thrones. You ever seen that? Games of Thrones-ies? Yeah.

Have I seen it? Yeah. It's the best thing ever created by man. Now, let me ask you this. Before we get in too deep, I got to know where you're at. What season you on? I'm on season— I'll ruin your life right now.

Well, I was just saying that a midget said that they're always the bastard child is what Peter Dinklage said to Jon Snow. I'm on episode three of the first season. Dude, have you seen the kid? You're speaking Chinese. I speak fucking Portuguese. Season one? Dude, I'm on eight, bro. I speak fucking Portuguese. What? Season one. Dude, I'm on eight, bro. Dude, are you kidding me?

I'm a seasoned vet, bro. Are you really? I mean, you don't even know what kid. You're on season eight? Oh, I didn't even know they had eight seasons, man. You know they have dragons, yeah? Oh, I'm on Khaleesi's Married This Mixed Boy, kind of, who won't get a haircut. He kind of looks like me.

Huh? He looks like me. Falls on keto and steroids. No, dude. Yeah, bro. He looks like you. I look like I belong to them. He looks like you if Huh? He looks like me. Falls on keto and steroids. No, dude. Yeah, bro. He looks like you. I look like I belong to them. He looks like you if you were on capability.

That's for sure, dude. This guy looks hella capable of doing shit. Dude, you look like one of the whores in the whorehouse on fucking Game of Thrones. Yeah, maybe. Just there for the boys. Maybe on an off weekend. Yeah, maybe. The B team.

Bring out the B team. Yeah, he's a dick, but he's cool, man. Dude, it's so good, though, man. They have- Oh, just you wait, maybe. The B team. Bring up the B team. Yeah, he's a dick, but he's cool, man. Dude, it's so good, though, man. They have... Oh, just you wait, dude. The daughter. Oh, the guy. This one guy's making love to his sister, right?

Yeah, they're fucking... Throws the boy off the tower. Khaleesi pushes the kid off the tower? Talking about the knight? No, not Khaleesi. Not Khaleesi. Circe's. He's fucking Circe's.

Yeah. And he's fucking their sister with all those hot clothes. Dude, if my sister looked like that, I'd be laying in the pipe too. It would be nice to hug my sister too hard sometimes when she was little. You felt weird about it? Sometimes. How much older are you? Four years older.

Yeah, that's weird. Very Game of Thrones-y, dude, but I'm glad you're watching it. Oh, man, it's so good. I'm just amazed also that people the teeth brushing never comes up. How bad. You couldn't get a toothbrush. Everyone's teeth are shitty. They didn't have one until the Chinese came. I don't even know what season you're in.

I'm on the 8th, dude. I just finished episode episode 3. Are there Chinese in? Don't tell me. Don't give away anything. I want to spoil it so bad right now and ruin your life and tell you what happens. Don't do that. But I'm not going to do it because we're friends.

Thanks. But if you listen to my shows, I just talk about it freely. Oh, you do? You get so upset. Chris D'Elia tweeted out, hey, Shaw, I quit ruining Game of Thrones for everyone. Wow. I say this to you, Chris. Fuck you.

Wow. Real original line there out of fucking. Yeah, come at me, bro. Come at me, man. Brendan Shaw, another original line out of five minutes. I do whatever I want on Game of Thrones, you know? That's true. I earned the right. It was my Sunday night.

Really? I ordered a nice large cheese pizza, turned out all the lights, turned the volume up, put on my Game of Thrones shirt, and rock out, bro. That's cool. Yeah. You're in for a treat, man. I'm jealous. Really? I wish I could go back in time and start season one. Dude, that's how yeah you're in for a treat man i'm jealous really i wish i'd go back in time

and start season one dude that's how i felt with scarface i just watched scarface about three years ago and i was so after i saw it i was like damn it's so cool when you haven't seen something it is scarface so overrated yeah so overrated al pacino playing a Cuban. No one's buying that. Yeah. Italian guy playing a Cuban. Goes into Miami, starts slaying cocaine, becomes the head guy. Everyone's like, it's such an American dream. The fuck it is.

Yeah. It's a Miami's dream. Yeah. But that's not the American dream, dude. No. The American dream. Then he kills his friend. That's part of the American dream, probably. It came out in 1987, you fucks.

Spoiler alert, he shoots his best friend for fucking his sister. Sister has an afro. Figure it out. What? I can't even believe. You didn't see that movie? Yeah, I saw it. I don't think it's the same movie you just described, though.

That's what I'm thinking. Oh, I'm thinking Game of Thrones. It seemed like a neat guy who found his place in America, and yeah, his wife was a real problem. You're talking about Michelle Pfeiffer? Was she in that? 18 in that. No. 18.

Oh my God. Put your dicks away, fellas. Put your dicks away. 18 in that movie. Bro, if you could go back in time, right? You're not gay, right? Yeah. And it doesn't matter if anybody is gay.

No. But you're not, right? You go back in time. It's you. Like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? You, right now, show up back in time as you. Yeah. And you meet yourself when you were 18 years old.

Would you give yourself a handjob or not? And this is, I'm asking for a friend. Yeah, I probably would because he's pretty cool. Maybe it'd boost his confidence. Whose confidence, dude? This sounds insane. Mine. Why?

At 18. I'm like lost. You know what I'm saying? Maybe a handjob, I can figure life out. Would you? A handjob from your older you? My hands are all calcified now. I don't know, dude.

Might hurt. I wouldn't do it. It sounds disgusting. Let's start the show, huh? I think it's all we can do now after that. And I'm sorry I brought that up. No, that's a fair point, man. And they did on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

They did? Yeah, they went back in time and sucked each other off. Oh, no, they didn't, dude. They went to meet Abe Lincoln, didn't they? I think so. I think they went to the medieval times and met a knight. They met Ben Franklin. Yeah, they were fucking idiots, dude.

They met zero chicks. Only one was an idiot. They met zero chicks. But one of them was such an idiot, the other one couldn't figure, couldn't. If one person's an idiot, then two people are idiots. That's our show. Yeah. That's called.

That's called King in the State. That's called, yeah, most of America. That's called King in the State. That's called America., most of America. That's called King in the State. That's called America. All right. What do you got, D? What up, boys? We're going to start with some debate club today.

Let's get it, huh? The first one. And that's Derek Poston out here, guys. Derek Poston. You call him the Post Man. Yeah. They call him Kevin Costner in Waterworld. They call him the Post Man.

You got the gills. Yeah. Them gills, dog. Gills up. They call him Bill Cartwright, dude. This dude is down in the post. Gills up, hoes down. Yeah.

What do we call it? What's Cat's nickname? Cat. Kitty Cat. Kitty Cat. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. All right. That's how we're going to do it. What do you got, Postman?

First one for debate club comes from Andy Penn. This is from Andy. Yeah, please say something, Andy, because it's awkward in here. What's up, Theo? What's up, Brandon? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang. Buzz, buzz.

I'm from Portland, Oregon. Got the Malcolm X. I'm with one of my homies, Brandon Shrub. By the way, Portland does not smell. Got the mouth of an ex. That's what I'm saying. Remember? There used to be a show called Celebrity Deathmatch, and that shit used to be hilarious. So in light of that, I was thinking about who I want to see fight. And I think I would want to see fight Elon Musk versus Jeff Bezos. Two very rich people, two very successful people, and they both look like they're pretty beefy now.

So who do you think would win in a fight, Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos? Also, shout-outs to my man Fabian, who I know is going to be watching this. So gang, gang, buzz, buzz. See you guys later. Come to Portland, please. I want to see you two perform. Say goodbye to all the bread and shrubs. Have a good one, guys.

Portland smells like voodoo donuts and hippies. I dig it, dude. Voodoo and doo-doo, bro. That's what they got up there. It's a beautiful area down there. A good place to watch somebody shoot up and get good seafood as well. And grab a Nirvana CD. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Good place if I can get an autographed Nirvana CD. Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos. Here's the thing here, bro. Can I kick this off? Jeff Bezos is short. That boy's on TRT, super short. Yeah.

He's on all the steroids, tan. Elon Musk from Africa. I don't know if you're aware of that. He's from Africa. A lot of Musk is, dude. When you think of the smell of man, where's it going to start? Elon Musk's also a little cray-cray. He seems like one Tesla crashing from freaking the fuck out and then

creating a rocket to blow up the earth. I'm going to take Elon Musk. He doesn't seem that smart to me, honestly, Elon Musk. I think he's creative. I think he works with people that are smart. I think he hires the smartest people. I think he is best friends with the smartest dude.

If you look at some of the old videos, dude, he's just chasing around, running tail. He's at all these parties. Yeah, he fucks, dude. Oh, you look at some of the old videos, dude, he's just chasing around, running tail. You know, he's at all these parties. Yeah, he fucks, dude. Oh, you mean the Iron Man? You mean he's, what's the name, Stark? He made that suit? Yeah, that's what the show's made. They made Iron Man based off Elon Musk. Oh, I didn't know that. Educate yourself,

bro, for hate on the man. My bad. I saw Iron Man. Iron Man 1 or whatever they killed, like, two dudes from ISIS or something. Easy. That's him, dude. That's him. whatever, they killed like two dudes from ISIS or something. Easy. That's him, dude. That's him. Bro, I got fucking six dudes that are fucking based out of Virginia that are Navy SEALs that have killed fucking 40 dudes from ISIS. They don't have the suit, though.

How iron you want to get, you know what I'm saying, bro? I feel you, bro. And they're doing it in just hard cotton, whatever those outfits are made out of. Here's the other thing, though. If Elon starts whooping his ass, he can't trust Jeff Bezos because he's fucking that dimey-dime on the side. Now, he knows if he got caught putting his hand in that cookie jar on his wife, he has to split $30 billion with her.

So now she's the second richest woman in the world, and he got caught thinking, well, fuck. He likes the dark arts, bro. He must like the dark arts, man. Well, look, I heard the lady he caught, he hooked up with that news anchor. Wasn't it a former news anchor? Yeah, the one with the lazy eyes. The one with the cock eye.

She bad, though. She got that sneak peek, dude. That built-in sneak peek. That sniper eye. Oh. That inverted snipe snipe. Yeah, that Lee Harvey fucking eyes wall. What I'm saying is this, man.

She's shooting out to the side. You feel me? Well, here's what I'd love to say about this. Just click on her is this, man. She's shooting out to the side. You feel me? But here's what I'd love to say about this. Just click on her picture there, D. Which one right here? Uh, that's his current wife. She's rich as fuck now. But I'm talking about the one with the frog eye.

Yeah, Bezos seems like way too much of a... Bezos on TRT. Is he? Yeah, and Elon Musk created a flamethrower, bro. But dude, you've got... And he smokes weed. Elon Musk is about to have a small wiener if he's creating all of these things.

Like usually you buy a Trans Am, that means you got a small wiener, you know? Yeah. Usually you buy a monster truck with 11 spare tires in the back of it, means you got dick issues, bro. Buzz, buzz. It means you should fucking,

you got dick issues. Or your body's full of estrogen if you just take Ubers to work. Yeah. Okay. I sold my work. Yeah. Okay. I sold my car. Yeah. Too stressful.

Yeah, too stressful. Driving's too stressful. Yeah, full of bestrogen, dude. Estrogen, bro. Yeah, the best dude out here. I hope Jeff Bezos whoops your ass. Yeah. Well, he's going to have to get through Elon Musk first, and I don't think he will.

I put my money on shitty Elon out there with the small wiener. I'll take Elon. Jeff might come in with some real wiener weight. Yeah, Jeff looks like he's packing a fucking Amazon dick piece. Yeah. I think Elon Musk is just a front. I think Musk is a front for whatever else is going on. Do you hate on Musk, bro?

I'm not hating on him. I just don't. Even when you hear him talk, dude. He went on Rogan. He didn't say anything. He just got high and just fucking. No, he takes too long to process everything for me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, dude.

Dude, get going, Elon. Also, don't hype up the underground car system. It's called a subway. And New York's been doing it for a hot second, dude. So quit throwing it in our face, Elon. Well, he just keeps making shit that we already have. Like, I agree. The Tesla's dope car, right?

Gay car. Yeah, but it's definitely hard to fucking keep your dick car when your car doesn't make any sound at all. That's what I'm saying, bro. It feels like somebody. It comes with tofu. Yeah. It feels like somebody's going to murder you the whole time, dude. It's too quiet, bro.

The whole time you're in it, it feels like somebody's going to catch you being a little bitch. Yeah. That's what it feels like. Yeah, I don't trust that car. That's the thing, man. It comes with a pair of Uggs. You know that? Yeah.

It comes with male Uggs and tofu. Enjoy your Teslas. In the middle of the night, I caught a Tesla putting Uggs on its own tires. In the middle of the night and blowing another Tesla. That's fine if you want to do all that. I'm just saying I want my car to be where it is

and have gas in it, dude. Me too, bro. I think Elon Musk beats the shit out of Jeff Bezos. I'll take Bezos. He's got that real wiener weight. He's got all that money. If he even beats Musk with $6 billion, he's good. You're right.

You know? Elon's from Africa, bro. That's true. No one has it easy out there. White people do. You'd be surprised, bro. Where in Africa, though? South Africa. You're from the north? Look, he ain't from Sierra Leone, bro. He ain't from the Congo. there white people do you'd be surprised bro where in africa though south africa you're in

the north look he ain't from sierra leone you know what i'm saying he ain't from the congo he ain't from yazir bro yeah he ain't from that congo jungle he from nigeria yeah dude no he's right he's from the rich town but still africa bro he ain't from bridges of the county you know what I'm saying, bro? That dude is from a regular place. So I think he's got that white flight built into him, Elon Musk. Yeah, and quit inventing shit we already have. You invented something that flies through the air at night.

That's a plane, motherfucker. Yeah, the other day he had a press conference for an electric toothbrush. All right, bro. I have one. I've had one for years. What's next? Beepers? Yeah, yeah. I have one. I've had one for years. What's next? Beepers? Electric beepers?

He's just inventing shit that we not... Oh, he invented a garage. You keep your car underground. I mean, some of it's cool, but some of it is just... Is it practical? Well, the Tesla's become practical. Practically gay. I'll take Elon Musk. 76% say Elon as well. I'll go with Wiener, Wade, Bezos and Jukebox gay. I'll take Elon Musk. 76% say Elon as well. I'll go with Wiener Weitbezos and Jukebox Pick.

I admit that I do own shares of Amazon stock. Up next is Hunter and Joey in Texas. Oh, H-J. This is Hunter and Joey. You want an H-J? That's the initials of them. Oh. What's up, Theo Van?

What's up, Brandon Showers? Sting Sting? We got a buzz buzz. We got a debit card debate club. We got a debate club. These boys are hammered. You want to live a life in prison? Or you want to die young?

Sounds like these boys think about robbing a bank. I know you got a bunch of boys in prison. I know your whole family's in prison. But I want to hear what you guys to die young. Sounds like these boys think about robbing a bank. I know you got a bunch of boys in prison. I know your whole family's in prison, but I want to hear what you guys have to say. Gang, gang. What's up, boys? What's up, Nick? Fuck. How long was that video?

These boys are going to commit a crime weighing in what we think they should do. Should we go to prison for the rest of our lives? Should we go out firing? I mean, what do you guys think, man? Yeah, shout out to the, where are they from? Texas. Drinking that Mike Hard's lemonade. Oh, dude, Mike's hella hard lemonade.

That had a fucking man's dick in it, bro. That shit was intense. Them boys were hammered. A couple of beautiful young fellas out there, man. A couple of young. Full of testosterone and hopes, bro. Yeah, but some good guys out there drinking liquor in a garage or something. Yeah.

Together, you know what I'm saying? Probably thinking about... They're in a storage unit, bro. Oh, probably thinking about their spouses or something or thinking about... I think they're thinking about robbing a bank. Okay, or that, bro. A couple of H&J with those bank robber ideas. Life in prison or die young?

Fuck, man. You want to go first? You want me to? Look, I'll go life in prison because here's the thing. You get to try and break out. What's funner? Like, sometimes there's people in prison their whole life. They never tried to break out.

You're in fucking prison, dude. That's all you have to do. Also, it's fun. Yeah. Didn't you ever play that game when you were young and they tag you, you go back to the jail, and you need to fucking get out? Yeah, dude.

Talking about freeze tag, but I hear you. Also, you've seen the show Prison Break? You've seen Shawshank Redemption? Yeah. That shit looks fun. Yeah, Brooks was here, dude. Now he's gone, daddy. You know what I'm saying?

Dude, find you a red, come up with a plan, and get the fuck out, boys. Yeah, shoot the warden, papa. Yeah, wear a shoe, shine the shoes, you're good at math. Write a letter to the library every day. Start a club, bro, MS-14, papa. Yeah, dude. Dude, what? Gaming, daddy?

What gang would we join in prison? I'm tough. You're in Mexico. I'm white, but I don't think the Aryan nature would let me in. Actually, you're Aryan. I would go Mexican. You shitting me? They're not going to let you in. Yeah, they would. I would darken my facial.

I would dye my facial hair. You'd have to grow just a mustache. And I would wear short pants, and I would walk real low to the ground shorter. Like a cholo? And go Mexican, yeah. What do I do, dude? And I'd get a huge button on the top of my shirt at the top. So it would focus on that one.

Like, oh, he's definitely want to bustle at his button. I'd have to, I don't know. I'd have to whiten it up. Bro, you'd have to chop your legs off. You'd have to get in a wheelchair because if they see a tall fucking dude who used to be in the UFC, you're getting beat. Everybody's going to fuck a, somebody dude used to fight for a living. You're going to get fucked all night. Yeah, I know.

They want to run a train on me, dude. I'm scared. Getting sexed up isn't really that bad, but some guy just – you're going to get snuggled. There are going to be dudes holding your hand. Oh, dude. Like I'm going to hold a guy's pockets around the yard? You're going to have to learn to eat lunch with your left hand, dude, because some dude is going to be holding your other hand. I'm like this the whole time?

to learn to eat lunch with your left hand, dude, because some dude's going to be holding I'm like this the whole time? And then I got to trade fucking cigarettes for fucking oatmeal pies? For salve, bro.

For Neosporin, bro. You got to trade cigarettes for Band-Aids and shit? Dude, I'm stressed. Let me trade some cigarettes for some shoe polish. Dude, I'm going to go die young. I want to die young.

Are you? What an idiot, dude. Dude, you want to be in prison? Too late, yeah. Dude, with'm going to go die young. I want to die young. Are you? What an idiot, dude. Dude, you want to be in prison? Too late, yeah. Dude, with that here, you know they're fucking your face, bro. I'm alive in prison, though. Not really. You're basically dead, dude.

You're dead. You ever seen a lion in a zoo? Do they look very alive to you? They're dead behind the eyes, dude. They used to run free and chase shit and kill it. Now you go to the zoo, they've given up. That's you in prison, bro. Especially with that pretty mouth, your fucking stupid haircut.

They're fuck-facing you, dude. Uh-uh. No, they won't do that, dude. It's science, bro. It ain't science, bro. That's not it. Yeah, it is, dude. Or you're going to be a sister.

No. I'm not doing all that. Dude, you don't have a choice, dude. I'll probably do art. Because you can't fight either. Huh? Yeah, I can, bro. No, you can't have a choice, though. I'd probably do art. Because you can't fight either. Huh? Yeah, I can, bro. No, you can't.

I can fight with my legs, not with my arms that good. That makes sense. I'm going die young. Yeah, do whatever you want to. You're dead. Let me go out on fire. So I will probably break out and have to help raise your family, raise your son. I appreciate it, dude.

80% say die young as well. What? Buzz, buzz. What a bunch of wimps, bro. Do you know how hard it is to break out of prison? Huh? At least I'll have a chance to find out, dead guy. I don't want to find out. I don't know the result.

Hey, where's Brendan? Dead. Hey, where's Steele? In prison. In prison. But he might show up randomly one night. 40 years, hopefully. Up next, this is from Luke Sissacluna. Sissacluna? Oh, yeah, Italian.

Hey, Theo. Hey, Brendan. My name's Luke, and this is my little boy, Jackson. What's up, Jackson? With the EY. Hey, we got that. Theo, I'll be at your show on the 22nd of May. I'm looking forward to it, man.

Cheers, man. With the release of Avengers Endgame coming out, we just want to know who you guys think is better, Marvel Comics or DC? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Love it, man. Shout out to the little man.

Shout out to Jackson out there with that Australian dab, dude. And they do it in reverse, too. You see it? Just like the toilets. Yeah. Marvel, DC. Marvel, Spider-Man, Venom. Marvel.

Iron Man. Thor. Thor. Captain America. Oh, they got all of them. Hulk. Who's got She-Ra? DC only has, who?

Who's got She-Ra? Can I talk about? I'm not familiar with that one. Can you look up She-Ra, please? S-H-E-R-A. Oh, you're talking about Jeff Bezos' side piece? Left in the dust, straight up early age. Oh, dude, no, she's from-R-A. Hotty. Oh, you're talking about Jeff Bezos, sidebeast? Left in the dust. Straight up early age. Oh, dude.

No, she's from fucking He-Man. Can we look at the images of her? She's that He-Man hitter. Yeah, right there. Yeah, any of those. Right there. Yeah, there you go. She-Ra.

Man, look at her. She's unemployed, dude. What about her? Yeah, does it say anything? And then, I'm sorry, will you go back to that Wikipedia of her and read whatever? She's unemployed, bro. Some half facts. Fictional character, filmmation, cartoon, Shira, Prince of Power, reboot.

Oh, reboot. 2018. Series of Toys and Dragons was produced. Mattel is the 80s series. Was extended to appeal to the masters of the universe. Yeah, masters of the universe. I like Shira, dude. Is she in it?

No, bro. Hey, it's Marvel or DC. So DC's like Batman. Who else does DC have? Hulk? No, that's wrong. Superman. Batman, Superman,

Wonder Woman, gay, gay, gay. What else? Justice League. Justice League. Oh, I go with Flash. I go with Hanna-Barbera. Who do they have, dude?

Yeah, which one's, yeah, Hanna-Barbera. Who do they have, dude? Yeah, which one's Hanna-Montana? They got Snoopy. Hanna-Barbera has... Flintstones. Flintstones. Don't touch me, dude. Oh, don't fucking touch me, bro. Animaniacs.

Jesus, that hurt. Animaniacs. Yeah, they got Animaniacs. Ren and Stimpy. Voltron. Ren and Stimpy. Tom and Jerry there. They would run circles around fucking whatever his name is.

Black Jackson or whatever that guy's name is. Dude, Looney Tunes? Yeah. Come on, bro. Tell me about it, dude. You're killing it, man. 19 Cartoon Children. They'd fucking put an end to what's his name?

Frozen Dick or whatever the name is. Johnny fucking Frostbite. The big racist bird. I said, come here, boy. You know that one? I said, come here. I'm here, boy. You know that one? I said, come here. Come in. I'm playing, boy.

You know that one? Racism is that guy's name, dude. Yeah, just racist. Sugar racism, yeah. Yeah, racist. That dude, bro. The big bird. I said, get off my lawn now, boy.

Go back and watch it. It's racist. And Pee Pee Le Pew or whatever the fuck his name was. Oh, the French, bro? You talking about the Me Too skunk? Just all over that chick nonstop. My kid can't watch his cartoons, dude. Come in, yeah, take a nap.

What do you mean we just met? Take a nap? We just met. You remember that you'd constantly push him off and shit? And he was always just had... You were raping, bro. Yeah. Pepe Le Penis. I said, come raping, bro. Yeah. Pepe la penis.

I said, come on now, boy. Bring that up. Bro, Hanna-Barbera in a heartbeat. Me too. Who's in that Hanna-Barbera stable, bro? DC ain't got shit. You got an old green guy who's been... You got that fucking...

Who's that little mucket who eats spinach? That merchant marine who eats spinach. Talking about the hot pie? Yeah, fuck him, dude. You got that bullshit Batman and Val Kilmer. You had Michael Keaton as Batman. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, dude.

You know what Fred Flintstone would do to the two of those? Ben Affleck, dude, half your Batmans are in fucking recovery, bro. Half of them are in 12-step program, dude. Give me some real-ass heroes, bro. Fucking Goodwill hunting. Yeah, dude. I go hunt Hanna-Barberas all day. So you got to pay.

Me too. Hanna-Barbera. Hanna-Barberas all day. So you got to pay. Me too. Hanna-Barbera. Hanna-Barbera, bro. That real ass stable. Well, 79% of people go with Marvel instead of that. He's just trying to stay afloat, huh? Yeah. Up next, boys, we got Rip My Drip.

Gang, gang. Up first, Adrian Romero from Petal, Mississippi. Ooh. Hey. Oh, shit. Come on, come on, get down with the sickness. Come on. That's why it hits my head when I look at him.

Come on, get down with the sickness. That's Godsmack. That's Fred Durst. No, you think of Limp Bizkit. Yeah. That's Jamie Josta. Remember Jamie Josta? You know him.

Are you talking about Josta, the soda? Remember Josta Juice? Jamie Josta is a, he's a, well, he's a podcaster, but he's also a metal man, metal musician. Never heard of him. Really? No. Hatebreed is the band. Oh, this guy looks like his name's Hatebreed.

This guy, look at his, like a beard. Actually, this dude has that fucking Frederick Douglass hanging off of him, that baby F, that baby FD. That one too, Lincoln. Yeah, he looks like he's done some crime in his life, but it's not a big deal. He's figured it out now. Yeah, man. He looks like Voldemort, bro, like he's still trying to get it.

Voldemort. He looks like a nice guy, though. He looks like a nice guy that collects rock albums. That's what he does. I could see him racing snails in the dark. Who is he? Give us more. He's a retired Army. I could see him racing snails in the dark. Who is he? Give us more. He's a retired

Army paratrooper and a drill sergeant. Wow. And once he met UFC fighter Tim Cruder and at a BJJ tournament and he said he looked like Captain Spalding

from the Devil's Rejects. That's hilarious. He does look like the guy from the Devil's Rejects. Damn. He looks spot on. That's hilarious. Shout out to looks spot on. That's hilarious. Shout out to Tim Crater.

Wow, man. They look identical. A very similar look. And the guy who sent the picture in from Petal, Mississippi? Petal, Mississippi. Petal, Mississippi. He's looking way far off into the distance, but he's indoors, which is a unique. Yeah, it's a unique skill to have because he looks like he's looking over the prairie,

but really it's just a window. Yeah, or a wall. Or a mirror. Yeah, or a mirror. Oh, yeah, it must be in a mirror because it's a forward shot, this image. Yeah, beautiful, man. I think you got that, you know, your beard almost looks like it's roots, like it was uprooted from the earth.

You know what I'm saying? He gots that hardcore kind of God Smack fucking GWAR kind of vibe to him. Oh, yeah. God Smack and the Devil's Hug, bro. He's got it all built into him. Shout out to this dude. What else you got? Gang, bro.

Up next, we got Brian from South Dakota. Oh, yeah. Sodak B. Oh, yeah. SODAG B. Oh, yeah. And this guy, definitely. You're talking about regular dude? Huh? You're talking about regular to me at all?

Regular dude? Really? Yeah. What's he look like to you? Looks like a guy. I'm not saying he's going to fix my goddamn printer. Oh, damn. Really?

He looks like the captain of the geek squad at Best Buy bro that's what I want my guy to look like no not problems that's what I want really yeah he looks nice he's obviously holding a fresco which is my favorite drink clearly smart with the glasses smarter can't see far don't just that's one thing about glasses people are always like like, oh, this guy's so smart. Let me ask him for all of his homework. Meanwhile, the guy just can't see very far. That's true. It has nothing to do with intelligence, does it? No. He would have left school years ago

if he could find the exit doors. Any of you are so smart, you'd have contacts in. There's that. Give me some background on homeboy. We don't have any on Brian. We don't need any, dude. I'll tell you about this guy. If he is for the geekek Squad, he fucking plays first base, and he's the basic Cecil fielder of the team. You can tell by this guy's confidence, bro.

Look, he's got a thumbs up in one hand. He's got a soda. It's kind of two thumbs up, though, on the soda can if you look. Yeah, it is kind of a little bit like that. This guy is all dick, bro, when you think about him. I bet he didn't even have a body. I bet his neck just goes straight into it. There's something going on there.

Something going on there, though. Huge street winger. That's his phone. That big old doping ganger, bro. That's his cell phone in his pocket. You know, his cell phone's round, has a head like a cock. I don't think so, dude. I'm not zooming in on the guy's pants.

Look, I'll say this, man. He seems like the kind of guy, I bet, who's made his mother proud. You know, he had a couple of tough times, but he got over it. Looks like he got his degree from ITT Tech. Yeah, pregnancy scare, but he beat it, man. He beat the charges of the test were inconclusive. He looks like he's really smart. Can you zoom in on his face a little bit?

I want to just get a little bit more of a feeling for what's in his eyes. Okay, wow. Okay, now I'm getting something different here. Yeah, I'm getting something different myself. He has the eyes of a great white shark or a doll. So there's that. Oh, my God. No.

He obviously has a very like – like he looks kind of like a three-year-old Salvador Dali. Oh, really? Oh, we have different vibes because he has the eyes of a grasshopper where they're just black, bro. Oh, my God, man. He seems like a good guy. I'm not saying he's not. I'm saying his eyes tell a different story. He looks like he'd figure my shit out, man.

Oh, dude, definitely. Oh, he looks like he can see right through you if he wants to. He looks like he only looks at people if he really has to. He looks like he'll send a virus to my computer. Oh, definitely. Oh, it looks like he can fucking snap his fingers and your fucking Firefox browser won't open for a month. He looks like he could snap his fingers

and your fucking search history of weird porno will just download to your mom's computer. Yeah, man. But he seems like a nice guy. Looks like he has a job. He has on a name tag. He has a name tag. Which is important, man.

A lot of times. Yeah, dude. It's important to have a name. Yeah. People go nameless in these worlds. Not this guy. Shout out to Homeboy. Shout out to Homeboy, man.

Gang, bro. I wish you could fix our AC in here. God dog. We only pay 30 Gs to shoot an episode. You need a fucking fan or something? It's getting hot in here, man. Hey, Malcolm, take part of the $100 million we give you and get us a fan. Nelly used to sing about this place, man.

It's getting hot in here. I'm taking all my clothes. Dude. I am getting so hot. I want to all my clothes. Dude. I am getting so hot. I want to take my clothes off. Remember that gym? Oh, yeah. Remember his friend had on a hockey mask?

Yeah. Remember that guy? And dude, he finally took it off, and they fucking busted him for child support payments he wasn't making. That's why he was weird all the time. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, he was the ugliest one of the band. Well, he wasn't ugly, man.

Yeah, he was. Dude, that's why he wore it, dude. He was ugly to his children, you know, financially, but he wasn't ugly as a person. Sure, sure. What were the names? Nelly and the what? The Eagles? St. Lunatics.

The St. Lunatics? Not the Eagles, bro. The Eagles. Damn, dude. St. Lunatics. What the hell? Hey, remember Nelly had one fucking patch, like a football player? He had a band-aid, dude.

He had sickle cell anemia. I don't think so. I think he just wore it for fashion. Really? Yeah, bro. What's he doing these days? Still making jams? The St. Lunatics.

Ha, eh. I have no idea. Dude, I bet you the St. Lunatics are so broken now. Can you bring up what the- Can we get an E! True Hollywood story on just the St. Lunatics? A lot. No, what about... The St. Lunatics?

Dude. Those guys aren't doing shit. Their first album was one of the best albums of all time, dude. Oh, which one? Country Grammar. What was the main... Na, na, na, na. Hey, can you look up what songs were on that Country Grammar album?

Dude, imagine being a Saint Lunatic. Unprecedented, dude. Imagine being the last Saint Lunatic still wearing a hockey mask. Dude, imagine going somewhere, like, hey, who's your friends? Oh, these are the Saint Lunatics. Like, dude, I'm a name, dick. What does it say about the singles on your chart position? Can you just look at those?

Yeah, is that it? Charts. Oh, that's what it was on the charts. Number seven. It came out. Was it called Country Grammar? Mm-hmm. And what songs were on it?

Does it say? I'm going to fucking hit them for you, and you're going to fucking know what was on them. No. I'm going to fucking hit them for you and you're going to fucking know what was on them. God, this shit was jammed. It's the only thing St. Louis had for a long time. Who else was on that album? This is when you pulled out a gun and just shot half your friends in the fucking crowd, bro.

I started throwing watermelons, baby. This shit was fire. You started throwing watermelons. Why not? It's the summer. You're a racist, bro. What Why not? It's the summer. You're racist, bro. What the fuck? It's the summer! The summer of what?

It's the summer! It's hot in here! I throw watermelon in my face! The summer of 1930, bro. You gotta change your attitude, man. You've changed, dude. Oh, dude. Come on. Just that jam, bro.

God. Bro, you can babysit to this thing. This is the kind of stuff you fuck a babysitter to. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Damn, they had the hits, bro. Yeah. Watch a child make a child, bro.

That's that program. Bro, can we read them off instead of playing them all so we can't use them? Hold on. No, as long as you don't play over 30 seconds. Really? Dude, I just wish I was a Saint Lunatic.

So good. You can be, dude. All you need is a gun and a fucking good time. And a mask. Can we read the songs around here? Dude, Joey Watermelons isn't racist, dude. Why you gotta take it there, man? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.

It's the summer. We're playing Nelly. I'm tossing melons in the sky. It's the only fruit of the summer that is true. Yeah. Name another fruit. Can we? A summer fruit?

Yeah, a summer fruit. Strawberries? You can't toss strawberries. People drop them. No, people love strawberries. They have strawberry festivals all summer. Yeah, but you can't throw them like a celebration. I toss watermelons.

Everyone knows it's a party. What? Yeah. Toss it where to whom? Strawberries, peaches? Okay, I'm trying to help you out of this. Peaches are too soft. No, I'm trying to make my point.

Watermelons are hard. Yeah, dude. Bro. Shout out to St. Lunatics, bro. Now, I'll agree with that. Yeah. Okay. Can you read off some of the songs that were on that album, please, Derek?

St. Louis. We got Greed, Hate, and Envy. Of course, Country Grammar, that hot shit. Steal the Show featuring St. Lunatics. Ooh, they're in it. Batter Up was one of my favorite songs. Batter Up? How'd that go? Batter Up. I'm the Show featuring St. Lunatics. Ooh, they're in it. Batter Up was one of my favorite songs. Batter Up? How'd that go? Batter Up. I'm the first to swing.

I don't know that one. Should I play it? Yeah, maybe play it real fast. Michael, strike it back. Bro! DJ, DJ, St. Lunatic. Tick, tick, tick. Which one was it? Batter Up was a whole song about baseball. Oh, fuck, tick. Which one was it? The whole song about baseball. Oh, fuck.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. How dare you? This is not one of their jams. Yeah, it was. Oh. I don't know this one. Oh, shit.

Can I hit you with some other? They fucking copped some of that shit from Sanford and Son. That whole song was Sanford and Son. It's the theme song of our studio. Oh, yeah. Play this in, yeah. Hell, yeah. Hell yeah. Oh my God, we're good.

God, we're good. Dude, we are urban. Turn up. Say it again. I did it, dude. All right, that's enough, dude. You're fucking racist, bro. Can we move this along some more?

All I say is throw watermelons in the crowd, and all of a sudden I'm fucking the head of the case. All right, what do we got? We got our last Rip My Drip. This is Marissa. Oh, yeah. She sounds like a nice person. Oh, dang. 27 from England.

Got that St. Lunatic fucking tree on her leg. Yeah, she is a real English. She's a human peacock. Oh, yeah. She's that dime or that pound. What do they call it over there? You're saying she looks like a pound cake? No.

She looks very nice. I like the hat. She has that Carmen Sandiego. Ooh, you nailed it, bro. Carmen Sandiego with a little bit of stripper. Looks like she'll give you a tea. Like in England, they drink a lot of tea. Oh, yeah.

Maybe a little tea and some ecstasy. Yeah, looks like she might do a little bit of tabs here and there. Yeah. She's got... A little acid and a little fucking Elton John for you on a Tuesday night. Yeah, I could see that. A little bit of... Maybe a little Earl Grey and a little fucking Elton John for you on a Tuesday night. Yeah, I could see that. A little bit of maybe a little Earl Grey and a little... Maybe a little dick suck and some Queen in the background.

Let's do the time warp again. Is that Queen? Undepression. Yeah. Undepression. Shout out to this lady. Yeah. I love the outdoor.

I'm sitting on the stairs. Oh, am I over here playing hide-and-go-seek by yourself, kind of hiding behind your hat? Are you playing freeze tag by yourself? We don't know. Yeah, she has that Carmen San Diego. Where in the world is Kat Von San Diego? She kind of looks like all tatted up. She looks like a pound cake Kat Von D. Yeah, she looks like a pound cake Kat Von D.

Yeah, she looks like a pound cake, but that a kid with markers got a hold of. She looks like a fish and chips Kat Von D. Oh, yeah, she does. Yeah. She's got that fucking dirty little Winston Churchill's little winch. Little wine gum hoe. Okay. She's got that Dunkirk, you know what I'm saying?

Like, stay over here and get stranded and we'll fuck. You know what I'm saying? That Manchester dirt, baby. Yeah, yeah. That's what she got. All right. Oh, man, I'd put it in her liver pool. You feel me?

I was just going to say, yeah, you beat me to it. And I shouldn't have said it, but shout out to my favorite British actress, Hermione Granger. Little Sunderland slut. And I'd put it in Hermione. That's it for Rip My Drip. Up next, we're going to jump to king it or sting it okay all right don't boss this around bro uh up first is kevin cross from lexington kentucky k cross k cross king it or sting it battle rap rap king in the beasting i'm a cappella when I sing sing you don't

like it better mull it over like the go Vaughn looking like a joke dirt you ain't gonna respond buzz buzz gang gang looking like a Shaw party and what the fuck is a Super Bowl you might win in the lottery I can't understand you I gotta demand you speak better than Chan when you pick the mic up again damn tell fighter and kid around block me on Skin's supposed to be thicker, now here comes the kicker. Damn. Vaughn, you look like a bum, but your comedy's strong. Bet your trailer's as short as your mullet is

long, punk. Gang. Damn. Drop him. Bars. White boy in the house. Fuck yeah, shout out to Eminem with glasses. I respect that, man. Where's he from? Lexington? Lexington. Damn. Wow.

That was dope. Mr. 8 Miles. 8 Miles of bourbon over here, baby. Kentucky bourbon. Yeah, man, I think he really put it on me, and I don't even know what to say, man. Rap back. Really? No.

Oh, I'll fucking rap back at this guy, dude. What's his name? Richard? His name is Kevin. Kevin? You want me to drop a beat? Yeah. Throw something at him, B, and I'll come in in a minute.

Do you have some bars? Yeah, I do, dude. Who do you think I am? Somebody that's unprepared? No, ready? Oh, no. Bro, I said fucking give me a beat, dude. You sound like a fucking old Italian guy who has a fucking, you know, who's trying to prove

asbestos in a courtroom. I'm talking about, give me a real beat, something I can go in on. What's a good beat? Do you have beats, dude? No. Don't go to fucking, huh? I'm not saying he doesn't look black to me. I don't know if he looks black.

I think he does. What? He doesn't have beats, dude. He can have whatever he wants to have, dude. I just figured... Times have changed. I've come up with a beat. He'd have better beats than me.

What do you mean, bro? You went to school. I know, but... I just figured he'd have some better beats than me. Jesus. Show us your hoops trophy, Derek. Come on, Daniel, or whatever your name is, Brendan. Get a fucking beat, bro.

What's a good bee for you? What? What would be a good bee? A real bee, you little fucking wimp. Why don't you throw another watermelon on the bobby, huh? You fucktard. Give me an example, fucking Limp Bizkit. Give me some Fred Durst.

Oh, fuck, I'm sweating. It's so hot in here. Yeah, right. I don't know where to start. Oh, the only place it's hot, you're painting yourself into a corner over there by the fucking... By that watermelon space heater of yours. Oh, fuck, dude.

I don't have any beats, man. I need to hear it, then I can do it. One more beat, a low beat, bro. Come in with something low, bro, and I'll go in on it. Okay, this is embarrassing. And I'll go in on them bulls. I'll get them, dog. You ready?

Yes, yes. All right, all right. I'm going to give it to you. You ready? Yeah, bro. Watch. Oh, my God, bro. I'm gonna give it to you You ready? Yeah bro Oh my god bro You sound like Chief Queef bro You gotta tighten up

I'm outta here man Hey bro Move on To be continued Kevin Kevin I'm sorry dude Yeah you are sorry man I can't give any beats. I'm sweating.

Straight out of Flexington, bro. Dude. My fucking dude over here just hit zero on a swag tank over here. Man, my swag tank's on E, son. Damn, bro. You're sweating, dude. Dude, yeah, I sweat. Are you hot?

Huh? I've been laughing. The Waterman line got me sweating, bro. Really? Yeah. Yeah, the pending lawsuits from it are going to get me sweating. From fucking Derek, who could be Cuban. Oh, fuck, man.

What else do we have, Derek? Shout out to fucking Funkmaster Flags over here. Yeah, shout out to Funkmaster. That was dope, dude. Funkmaster Lexington, dude. You got me, man. I'm going to come at you when I'm a little freshened up. I'm hoarse right now, and I'm off sugar, so it's obviously you running on all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, you came at us when our walls were down. Wait until I hear a beat, bro. I'm low on sugar, too. Dude, you are sweating, dude. I'm sweating, sweating, dude. Damn, bro. I know, I'm thick. Oh, I've gotten caught with my racial tendencies showing, and it's...

No, dude. It's a lot. A watermelon is the fruit of the summer. It's racist to think that only black people can have watermelon. Now that I agree with, dude. I love watermelon. I had watermelon juice for lunch. Did I not?

What? I had watermelon juice for lunch. I wasn't there. I have no idea if I had watermelon juice. Guy, give me your shovel, bro. And just sit down for a few minutes, man. At least go on a lunch break. Digging yourself

a hole, son. I can't stop sweating. I don't know what's going on. Derek, my friend, I can't see your skin color from where I am, and I wouldn't care if I could, but could you lead us into our next topic? You got it, bro. Up next, we got Mark Banks from Wacom, bro. Up next, we got Mark Banks from Wacom, Iowa. This is Mark

from Wacom. When the weather here, hang it or sting it. Rainstorm. You know what my choice is. No, I don't. Did that rag say help?

He held up a sign that said help on it? Oh, really? Oh, my God. I don't know how to help him. What are we supposed to do, play it one more time? Now, if you can't see on YouTube because you're still listening to this, because you live in a cave and you only like getting half the jokes or references. Sorry, I can't really call anything that we say jokes.

But what you're going to find here is that this is a man outdoors in a field. Hanging or stinging? Rainstorm. You know what my choice is. I don't get it. Does he love them? Because he's playing ACDC. Thunderstruck. He's outside. playing ACDC. Thunderstruck.

He's outside. Thunderstruck. Thunderstruck. So did it say heat on that towel he wrote? Help. It says help. So it might be help. He needs help.

I like a nice rainstorm myself. Most babies are made during rainstorms. I don't know if you guys know that. It's true. And it's nice to mix it up. Here in L.A., when rain comes, it's kind of like winning the lottery. It's very rare. As my dad always says, we can use the moisture.

Yeah. All dads say that. Yeah, we can use it. That's a good point. That's a really good point. Such a dad line, huh? Such a dad thing, yeah. I wonder why that is.

I don't know. It's very strange. But why do you think? You're a father. Do you ever see your son when it rains? I don't know. It's very strange. But why do you think you're a father? Do you ever see your son when it rains? I never say that. But my dad always says it.

You think you'll say it one day? 100% I'm going to say it from now on. I'm going to King Rainstorms, though, bro. You like rainstorms? I do like rainstorms, man. I love rainstorms.

I like rain. I like the movie love rain storms. I like rain. I like the movie Seven that took place in the rain. Did it? Only the rain. Yeah. Only movie that's all shot in the rain. Did you know that? Nope.

Except for the end scene where they find the head. The rest of the movie's in rain. Wow. I like Titanic in the rain. It's an ocean. It's like a bunch of rain at once on the ground. You're right. God, you're right.

I thought it was raining inside the ship. What other movie has rain in it or something? Jurassic Park. Yeah. Oh, Fern Gully, rainy as shit. Oh, yeah. In the Rainforest, Avatar, Rainforest. Oh, wow.

Land Before Time. Rainforest. Rain. Aladdin, Rain. Rain Man. Ooh, I love Rain Man. Yeah. Let me think about it. I like. Rain Man. Ooh, I love Rain Man. Yeah. Let me think about it.

I like the Rain Man. I like thunderstorms, dude. I remember one time they had a tornado come, and I used to work down in Mississippi, and they had a tornado come in, and me and this guy, you had to hide from him. If a tornado came, you're supposed to get in a ditch, right? Well, I get in this ditch. The biggest dude in the world, and no way is he still alive. This guy was so big, and this was 15 years

ago, that he cannot be still alive. Lays, there's a huge ditch, bro. It's like two miles long. Lays right on top of me. I was gonna say, yeah. He's trying to fuck in the rain. Yeah, the rain makes you crazy, dude. Idiot, dude. Yeah, dude. He's trying to protect you, too, though. He might have been a great guy.

Yeah, he might have been a great guy, but you have to lay somewhere else. He definitely could have been trying to protect me. It's a good point. I didn't die. You didn't die, and he's probably dead. Oh, he died, definitely. He could have used a little bit of rain in his diet because this dude was just sauce. He was a sauce boss.

Sounds like he used a little lightning, too. Yeah. Start his heart, you know what I'm saying? But yeah, I love thunderstorms, man. I love it. God bowling. Yep. It changes the vibe.

That's one thing LA could use. Like, you forget about the seasons. You have no reaction to seasons. Your body doesn't even know what's going on. Your internal time clock just turns into an angry fucktard who hasn't had any sugar in about seven or eight days. And then, you know, you start believing in things you never believed in before. And that's really how California happened. I love it here.

Yeah. I like the sun. Yeah, but how much of the sun? You don't want some rain? You want your kid to think it's sunny all day and then he fucking sees rain one day and now he can't fucking. Freaks out. Yeah, he gets kicked out.

Yeah, he can't handle it. He's crying on the internet. He thinks he's going to melt. it. He's crying on the internet. Thinks he's gonna melt. He's crying on the internet. We had rain the last two days, but I hear ya. So he's seen rain, you know? He hasn't seen much. No. He hasn't seen them Colorado storms I grew up in. Oh, dude.

Louisiana. Your buddy drowns during a nap? Oh, I know. Fuck it. Buddy goes to play football. Gone. Yeah. Gone, bro. Shout out to rain. I'm in, dude. Shout out to rain. Thick puddle. I'm in, dude. Shout out to rain. More. Bring it on, dude.

Shout out to rainforests. Global warming, not good, but the chance for Alaska to finally have beaches may be fair. You look in the glass half full. Yeah. You sure are, man. Antarctica. You like sand? Yeah, dude.

You like tans? How about this? Sand-artica. You telling me that wouldn't be a fucking resort metropolis? God, dude. You like tans? How about this? Sand-artica. You're telling me that wouldn't be a fucking resort metropolis? God, dude. Sand-artica? Come to Palm Beach, quit fucking crying. Yeah, dude.

So if you penguins die, who gives a fuck? We don't even need them. West Palm Glacier? You don't think tons of people will fucking go out there for the hot baths? Alaska's the fucking San Diego of the north? Yeah, dude. Imagine that. Sick, bro.

Imagine polar bears. They just turn black. Yeah, they just turn black. Black bears. Yeah, dude, imagine that. Sick, bro. Imagine polar bears. They just turned black. Yeah, they just turned black bears. Whoa, dude. You've done enough, bro. Oh, man. Up next, we got Johnny Hurth. This is Johnny Hurth. What's up, boys? Johnny here

from Tallahassee, Florida. Born and raised in SoCal, California. I gotta king it or sting it for you. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Alright, so I'm a surfer. Body surfer. And in order to do that properly, Whoa, boy, you gotta get these speedos out. You gotta let that

dick guide you through that wave. Like a dolphin. I don't know if dolphins dick ride it, but I do. So that's it. King or sting it. Speedos. Love you guys. Keep it real. Oh, my God.

I love this guy. Sun's out tongues out there at the end. Look at that body rudder, huh? Yeah, he's a dig more of like a tall child kind of, I would say. Is that? I like this guy. But here's the thing. Unless you're from Europe, you can't wear Speedos in the oceans here in America.

Now you can, though. Not really, unless you're a hot chick. Really? You don't think? Nah, I've seen some bikini lines for girls, which I dig. But for dudes, you just can't do it. Huh. What do you guys think?

Derek, what do you think on that? Yeah, put on some trunks like the rest of us, you freaking foreigner. You know what I mean? Put on some board shorts, bro. What are you doing? Let me ask him. Does fucking Kelly Slater wear Speedo? Kelly Slater?

He's not Kelly. From fucking Save by the Bell, you idiot. Who knows? They didn't even allow it. No, Kelly Slater's the best fucking surfer in the world. What's he rocking? Board shorts. So fuck your Speedos, dude.

Maybe, dude. He's trying to save the ocean all the time, even though he surfed on them for so long. Good point. Damaging the waves. Yeah, you're out there surfing. How many fish has got CT from your fucking surfboard, dude? Oh, your fucking board, the heavy finned board he used for years. How many whales have fucking brain trauma?

With the sharp fin, samurai fins he created. How many fucking servings of sushi just hit the bottom of the ocean floor and never fed a mouth? This guy's awesome, though, man. But if that's what you man but if that's what you do if that's what you it takes some balls no pun intended take some balls to wear a fucking speedo dude to just say fuck it i need to be good in this water i think it feels nice man you're jumping in the pool naked or with some trunks on yeah man it's fun dude i shower i'll even shower with trunks on a lot of times i don't like being naked in the shower.

I don't like being naked, period. I always feel like I lost something. Sometimes when I use skinny dip in or if I jump in the ocean in my undies, I feel like a hell's angel. I feel dangerous. Yeah. You got to look for the Lord, bro. Start feeling mangerous.

That's what I'm saying, bro. You know what I'm saying? Look for that fucking. Shout this, dude. Keep doing. Do what the fuck you want to do, dude. If it lowers your time in the water, rock the Speedo, bruh.

That desert, baby. Yeah, be quick. Be slick, man. You know? Be one with the dolphin, bro. Let's ask Kat. Let's get a woman's perspective, I think, on this. Kat, this man has a Speedo. You saw him. What do you think about that? I like it when dudes hide things. I feel like...

I like to think about it. I like to imagine it. Like wearing sweats, like gray sweats. You see the print, but you don't see everything. That's what you do. See, I'm like,

I'm with Kat on this. Leave it to my imagination. See, I don't like going to a strip club where it's 24-7 all new. Don't give me prime rib and chicken wings and eat your pussy in my face.

I like a nice, leave on the undies and leave on the brawl. Let my imagination figure the rest out. I'm with Kat on this. I agree with that. Maybe if the guy had a drawing of his actual dick in his pocket and it was

laminated so he could show it to people. Oh, like it was a package sandwich? No, to show it. Say, hey, here's something. Oh, that's cool. Like if you had a fan flip for your crotch or your fan flip for your sexual proclivities. What if he had see that's cool I give you had like a pamphlet for like your crotch or your pamphlet for your sexual proclivity What if you had like see-through pants on so it looked like a fucking lunchtime sandwich just pressed against the wall I love that. That's cool, right? Yeah, so you can see it, but it's not all of it

Yeah, and he got like a eye like one eye tattooed on the side of his nutsack and every now and then the eye would Be up against the Yeah, Salomon in your pants yeah dude you got a fucking long hacky sack in your pants it's fucking looking to get out catfish in your pants bro i'm with cat on that but you could even wear like an elephant have the trunks and then have you know i'm saying speaking of the catfish think of that show catfish when are they going to shut that oh my god who's getting catfish these days hey that show Catfish. When are they going to shut that shit up? Oh, my God. Who's getting catfished these days? Hey, Nev, give it up, bro. And I like when he goes, we're going to do some research.

You mean you're going to fucking search your name on Instagram? Hold on. Let us do the research. Okay, I'm not finding any photos here. It's horrible, man. To me, that show honestly just makes fun of black people that don't know how to use the internet. That's exactly what that show is. Yeah, and then they show up, and it's a dude.

Yeah, every time. It's like, did you guys see any signs? And they're like, when was the last time you talked to him? Like, four years ago. Like, have you ever met? No, every time we do, they always cancel. But we love that show, man. To me, it's racist.

I think they focus on a lot of black people or poor people. Not racist, maybe. You know why?'s racist. I think they focus on a lot of black people or poor people, not racist maybe. You know why? Because they have that Metro PCS service. Some shit, they blame it on the service. Like it might be T-Mobile's connection that fucked it up. Like, oh, they just didn't get back to me in two years because I have cricket wireless. But they take advantage of, okay, I'll rephrase that.

They take advantage of impoverished people or more impoverished communities who don't know how to use the internet. That shit makes me mad, bro. It's like, yeah, she's fucking sending drawings in the mail back and forth to some dude. I know, dude. And then the wedding doesn't work out at the park. No fucking shit. She sent him $700 because he needed help with his mortgage.

Actually, I'd have sent somebody $150. Dude, you should fight Neve. Oh, I'd fight that dude. What's up, Neve? Come get it, bro. Catfish this nut in your mouth, dude. Or how about this? I know they got that rough and rowdy thing that Barstool does.

Maybe we could get Derek or Cat to fight him. Or you, because you have the problem with him, bro. You versus Neve is a better fight. Fuck him, dude. Two alley cat pussies going at it, dude. Well, I just think at a certain point, you're just taking advantage of people, you know? To me. Or we go two on one.

I'll take him and his silverhead friend can fight me in the cage. Yeah. And I could be wrong. To me, that show seems a little bit racist to me. I agree. I think it's racist. I think you're taking advantage of people with T-Mobile service. Well, that's true.

So it's service-ism. Shout out to Catfish. I hate it. All right. I actually love this show. Dude, I've lost 15 pounds since doing this show. Have you? Sweating.

You really hit the sweats earlier, man. Yeah, I did. I was laughing so hard. Really? I had the racist sweats. Yeah. Because I was like, is watermelon racist? And I thought, they don't own that fruit, bro.

Yeah. That's fruit for everybody. Yeah. And Theo's off. I'm not racist. I love black people. Well, I consider racism. Because I'm having. I'm not racist. I love black people. Well, I consider racism. And just because I'm having a good time throwing watermelons in the crowd isn't racist.

I agree, bro. All right, bro. Quit looking at me. Quit coming at me, dude. I'm not coming at you. Kat, what do you think? Let's go to Kat. She's unique.

Is it racist or not? Let's ask our corner here. It's not racist to what? Throw watermelons into a crowd. I think it depends on where you go. Japanese people love watermelon. Watermelon out there is like $50. So it's a gift, really.

Wow. Good point. So you're the racist one because you thought it was racist. Derek, racist or not? Are there black people in? Is it all black audience? How do you feel now throwing people in? Is it all black audience? If it's all black audience. What do you feel now throwing watermelons at an all black audience? Dude, a St. Lunatics concert?

And I'm like, it's getting hot in here. I'm getting so hot. And they're like, yeah. It's ice cold. Here's the thing. You better throw it to a white person, I think. Why? What if I'm throwing slices, like Chinese stuff?

Slices is different. Slices are okay. Wow! I can throw slices? What if I throw cubes? Yeah, cubes are pretty good. I don't know. If they open their mouth like little birds? I don't think you should be the one out there throwing them. I would get a friend who's

more culturally diverse to throw them. You don't know what I am. I might be Mexican. I might be black. That's true. But all I do know what I am. I might be Mexican. I might be black. That's true. But all I do know is I'm a watermelon giver. That's true. Look, I agree. I mean, a lot of old stereotypes,

it's like at a certain point we got to let them die. I think if we could think of a funny, creative way to kill them. Well, it's stupid. Like how can black people claim grape drinks? I love grape drinks. Yeah. That's one of my favorite drinks.

Yeah. You can't just have that. But I don't know if young black kids do. I think some of that's older black. It's like, oh, some. It's even like with white generation shit. It's like some shit, it's like, it's almost like saying get her done. Like young people nowadays don't give a fuck when they hear that, you know? They just think, oh, my dad used to like that, you know?

True. My dad used to say that. Yeah, I don't know if there is those racial kind of lines anymore. True. My dad used to say that. Yeah, I don't know if there is those racial kind of lines anymore, like hot sauce, chicken, watermelon, rap, Jordans. Like, everyone loves that shit now.

Yeah, the Chinese really, though. They're still on it, aren't they? I mean, what in the fuck, bro? I know. Get your lives together, Chinese. And you think you own the Chinese star? Huh? You think you own the fucking fortune cookie? Yeah, you think you own all the shirts I'm wearing?

Yeah. You think? You think you own all the shoes cookie? Yeah, you think you own all the shirts I'm wearing? Yeah. You think? You think you own all the shoes or the cars that we drive? You think you own the fucking, you think you own Panda Express? I got news for you. I got fucking news for you. I got news for you, too. You do.

Okay? I would say do not. You don't know. Dude, you got to read the IOUs, man. You got to go to Washington and look in the nation's capital and see the new IOU museum. You might be right, Jay. Alright, what do we got, D? We got a Wedbetter Dad. Okay, this is from...

Well, this guy didn't... No name, this guy. Theo, Brendan, what's up? Wedbetter Dad. I'm going to give you three choices from Theo's homestead of Louisiana. I'm not going to make it easy. Is that the guy from Lost? Let's go with Brittany, Hit Me Baby, One More Time Spears, choices from Theo's home state of Louisiana. Not going to make it easy. Let's go with Brittany Hit Me Baby, One More Time Spears,

Reese Legally Blonde Witherspoon, and Jennifer Dexter Carpenter. Not going to make it easy, man. They're all smoking hot. Good luck with that. Brendan, I saw you last week at the Comedy Store in Hollywood. Killed it, man. Hilarious show. Loved it. Got to meet Derek. good luck with that and Brendan I saw you last week at the comedy store Hollywood

killed it man hilarious show loved it got to meet Derek super cool dude hilarious show Theo see you with the

Bray Improv in August can't wait man gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz gang gang brother thanks for coming in

with that Louisiana heat bro this is hotter than that fucking Michelin Farms Avery Island Tabasco hot sauce right there. I'm going to go... This one's so easy for me.

Okay, you go then. Yeah, sounds easy, man. So let me go into it. Yeah, your CTE is flaring up, bro. Somebody threw a watermelon in your CTE audience. Dude, Britney Spears. Okay, somebody...

First of all, Britney Spears, Mary, and fuck. The other two, kill them. Look, bro, the rules are what the rules are. The sister from Dexter, see ya. You're not even in the race. I'm not tossing you a watermelon. I'll tell you that right now. Not tossing you a watermelon.

Look, I'll throw my wedding melon. I would throw my wedding melon. I would throw to... Wedding melon. Three melons. Okay. My wedding melon. There's a new episode called Three Melons. Who would you give the melon to? Bro, give it up, dude.

We're not fucking... Bro, you're like a fucking... Dude, I'm giving Britney Spears all my melons, bro. Okay, that's fine. Okay, I will give my wedding melon to the brunette, Jennifer Carpenter. You know who she is. I will give my wedding, my death. Reese Witherspoon, I hear she's like a real bitch, but I don't know if that's true or not.

It's probably true. Death. Reese Witherspoon, I hear she's like a real bitch, but I don't know if that's true or not. It's probably true. You've seen her in fucking the Johnny Cash movie where she don't shut the fuck up. Actually, you know what? I'll give my wedding melon. I'll give it to Britney because I think she's going through some tough times and I think I could.

Not now, dude. Yeah. And they all said Britney when she was hitting me one more time. So I was 19 when she was stroking and dancing. Oh, yeah. I was a kid then, dude. So definitely. Fuck, yeah. She was so hot.

That was sex time for me. I was just thinking about fucking people I didn't know. A little sex. So, yeah. I was a kid then, dude. So I definitely... Fuck, yeah. She was so hot. That was sex time for me. I was just thinking about fucking people I didn't know. A little sex. So, yeah, I would have had sex then. And then now I'd do the marriage probably to Jennifer Carpenter. Well, you married all three of them. Keep going in fucking circles, dude. Will you let me do my thing for a second?

Okay. Just kill one of them. All right. You'd like two, but you want to kill one. Dude, look. All I'm saying, bro, is just give me a second to finish this up, okay? Jim Crow. What I'm saying is this. I would go with fuck.

God, dog. Or do sex, Brittany, the carpenter, the brunette girl from Dexter Dexter's sister who did her best even though you know he wasn't really a good brother I didn't think but he's a murderer

he I would say marry her and then Reese Witherspoon she already has five kids she got a couple DUIs a few years ago

but actually she seems like a bad bitch and ain't afraid to walk outside of a car but I would kill her probably or decease her I agree with all that. I'm just marrying Britney Spears and I'm fucking her.

Wow, okay. Guy who sounds like a rapist. Wow, dude, it's just interchangeable. Change out the C, change out the P. Same for Brendan. Rapist or racist? That's what we can call this episode. No! PC. PC with Brendan Shaw.

Dude, all... Oh, man. Dude, I'm Brendan Shaw. Dude. All. Oh, man. Dude, I'm fucking racist, bro. You don't think I know? All right. Last one, dude. Last one we got is relationship advice, guys. That's it.

We're closing on relationship advice. This first one is from Alex. What's up, guys? Alex out here in Pacific, California. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Gang, gang. Hey, Theon, Bran.

I need some relationship advice from you guys. Hey, Theon, Bran, I need some relationship advice from you. Yeah, Theon. There's a girl at work. She's fucking beautiful and, for whatever reason, seems to like me. She sounds nice. But I have a bunch of insecurities. I got tumors all over my body. Poor guy.

Oh, you're shredded, bro. And I had to happen this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got that hitter piece. My teeth. That's all good, dude. And I had to happen this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got that hit or peace. I lost my teeth. That's all good, dude. Give me lots of insecurities. Should I wait?

Get some operations done? No. Or go after her now? Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, brother. Go after her now, dude. Wow.

He surprised me, though, with pulling the teeth out. Yeah, but it's all good. If anything, it gives them character. And if any girl worth your time, she's going to appreciate that shit because you're probably going through it, man. That stuff's not easy. But you're also shredded as well. You got some lumps.

I can see them, and you're shredded. So you're in shape. You're obviously a cool-ass dude. You probably have more life experience than the other fucks without any bumps all over their bodies. I say go for it now. Yeah, I say go for it now. And I say don't force this. I wouldn't show all your magic over the bodies. I say go for it now. Yeah, I say go for it now. And I say don't force this.

You know, like I wouldn't show all your magic out the gate. I leave them teeth in, bro. Yeah. Leave the teeth in, bro. Yeah, you don't want to break out one of those little flossings at the table and just throw your teeth across the, you know, or the restaurant or the old, yeah, like have somebody pat you on the back and your teeth. Don't do that old trick, you know.

Wait till she really knows you and then bring the teeth out. Or if you guys get to a fifth or seventh date and you guys are doing a little bit of oral sex, leave the teeth down there, a little fucking, you know, a little snack you later, you know? Yeah. That snack back. But, yeah, I just wouldn't do it. I just don't think, yeah, I would just see how it goes a couple dates and then kind of let her know what's going on.

Unless it's like, you know, if you have things in your arms you're self-conscious about and, like, you want to tell her right out of the beginning and say just what this is. No, wear long sleeves because she'll fall in love with you as a person. Well, she sees him at work, though. Yeah, so she knows what's up, and he says she likes him. Yeah. So you're already halfway there, brother. Ask her out. See what happens.

Yeah, man. We all got insecurities. I mean, here's the thing. I think about insecurities. I think everybody has them. And I feel like they probably all register the same with people. It's like. I mean, I bet his are a little more intense because he has tumors all over his body.

He's missing his teeth. But like, I mean, the rock feels fat. You know what I'm saying? Like most guys have insecurities. His are just way more visible. Yeah. And probably, I mean, you would have insecurities if you had fucking golf balls, tumors all over your body. That'd be tough, man.

Yeah, it might be tough unless you're a big Caddyshack fan, you know. Then you could surprise people and make it, you know, just kind of make it fun. Yeah, or dress up as Sonic the Hedgehog. Here's what I think I mean. I think I mean that, like, insecurity feels the same to everybody. So everybody can relate to insecurity. Yeah, but some people's insecurities aren't real. Right.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, dude. His insecurities are real because he really has this all over his body, and he's missing teeth. Yeah. He seems like a cool-ass dude. Well, he has teeth. He's got that kind of surprise. Senior citizen.

Yeah. Surprise. Surprise, you know. cracker jack surprise yeah guess who's 90 if they want to be you know you got that surprise hit 30 to 90 yeah have her guess yeah play that game make her laugh but yeah i think there's a way to probably do it to make her laugh i think it could be a running joke that you keep you know if like if she you know if she gets you know if things don't go a certain way not not in a sexual sense, but you're going to pull the old teeth out. Don't make me pull my teeth out.

He looks good with his teeth in. He looks like a normal-ass dude. Take your shot, man. Anyone who doesn't want to fuck with your bumps, tell them to kick rocks. Yeah, dude. But we all got some kind of insecurities, bro. I got a butt like a Down Syndrome girl and a black woman. I was with a Down Syndrome girl, you know? And a black woman. And...

I was with a Down Syndrome girl, but not a black one. Really? A lot of them DM me. You don't have a rump, bro. What, dude? Have you seen my butt, bro? What? It's built, yeah. It's built like a young Scottish boy's chest who is probably in a

wheelchair and using a lot of upper body strength. And... Everyone has insecurities, man. Right. That's what I'm saying. Everybody has them. So people can at least relate to you. So if you ever tell somebody, man, I'm insecure about this, they're going to be able to relate to that.

Maybe not the same thing, but insecurity is insecurity. Of course, it will be different across the board. Send us a picture of that dimey-dimey. Yeah, take a bite out of that broad, dude. That's what I'm saying, bro. Get out there. Yeah, take your teeth out and take a bite. It could be fun to gum her.

Yeah, dude. Be that fucking Mad Hatter. Be that suction fish. You know what I'm saying? Give her that sucker fish hickey, man. Get right up on the window of life. Dude, you throw a hickey on that girl, she'll never leave you. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? You got that fucking capability, son. Suck it right, bro. Yeah, dude. Good luck, man. Sucker off. You got this, Playboy gang. I agree with Theo.

You got them cakes, dog. Yeah. You know what it is. There you go. See that? Next, last up is relationship advice. The last one. This is from her name is Christina from Virginia.

This is Christina. Okay. What's up, girl? Hey, Brendan. Hey, Theo. I hope you guys are doing well I wanted to ask some relationship advice from you guys I've been dating my boyfriend for the past four years And maybe two years ago he told me that he was into cuckolding Or he got into it somehow and asked how I felt about it And I was fine with it, it was cool What's cuckolding or he got into it somehow and asked how I felt about it.

And I was fine with it. It was cool. What's cuckolding? Maybe like a year ago. We just haven't been getting along this past year just on all basis and including in the bedroom. So when we do have sex, it's not great at all. So when we do have sex, it's not great at all. And, like, if we have good sex, he wants to bring someone else into the bedroom with us.

Oh, yeah, a spotter. I just want to know what your guys' thoughts are on cuckolding and just some advice in general. All right. Thanks. Oh, poor girl. Love you guys. Look forward to all your podcasts and videos gang gang buzz buzz

bye buzz buzz girl damn she looks distraught what's cuck holding is when you watch somebody fuck your wife woo

wee you talking about throwing that wild card in I'll be that wild card come on come on knock on my door and then my big ass

comes sweating you'll be like we're good bro we're good sons of anarchy we're good buns bro. We're good. Sons of anarchy. We're good. Buns of anarchy. That's what they call me when I roll in, bro.

Wow. A cuckolder. But it seems like they have open communication about it, so that's pretty, you know. It seems like he just wants to watch her get fucked, and she's not digging it anymore. Well, dude, here's the thing. You can love somebody and not want to fuck them all the time,

and if they want to fuck, then you're still not keeping them from some joy that they want to have, you know? Yeah, but it doesn't sound like she wants to fuck and this guy wants to watch her get fucked all the time. Dude, get a porno star for that. You don't have to say the F word that much, first of all. In one sentence, use it three times in one sentence. Just think of other ways to say it, dude.

Okay. What I'm saying, bro. You know? You could also say throw a fruit into the crowd. A lot different. Here's the thing, girl. If you're having problems, bring fucking Theo over to Dark Arts and have your man watch this thing

fuck you. He's gonna be like, no more. I'm good. No more. No more. His ass is weird. His ass is weird. His body's all funky. 30 seconds of sheer awkwardness, and we got this. Yeah. He keeps throwing out weird terms and racist terms. Oh, now you're trying to push that over here, huh? He starts throwing watermelon at me. What? Look, here's what I'm saying is this. I think if you got a man and you guys want to do wild sex and have partners in there and teamwork

and everything, then that's fine. I think your relationship and that kind of deal, it sounds like, are two different things. Dude, but it sounds like he can only have sex

if someone else is there. So she's like, we can't even do the one-on-one anymore. He's always trying to tag team it all together. He's always trying to phone a friend.

Yeah, bro. PT style. Yeah, he's got Howie Mandel coming over showing up. He does, man. With a briefcase Yeah, bro. E.T. style. Yeah, he's got Howie Mandel coming over. He does, man. With a briefcase full of extra dicks. Little monsters, baby. I don't know.

Let's go to Derek and Kat on this one. Kat, you into cucking? Am I into cucking? Yeah. I think the idea of it is great. Something's hot about it. But realistically, no. No? Well well if it's me maybe like would you want your would you watch your man get fucked probably not would your man watch you get fucked yeah

sometimes you have to say get fucked all the time you're from philadelphia oh i'm sorry would you i don't know if you would watch i think he'd'd be fine with it. Oh, wow, really? Yeah. All right. I mean, it seems like she's really tired of it. She does not want to get fucked by these guys. She was exhausted from it. No, yeah. Sounds like he's inviting all his big friends over.

Why? He doesn't, bro. Yeah, he does. She's all, I'm so exhausted. He only wants to bring Tyrone. Wow, huh? Why don't you leave a couple of stacks of fruit on the bed, huh? You're done in this town.

Derek, what do you think here on this cuckolding mess? I think she should definitely leave him. I mean, she's already halfway there by fucking other dudes. Yeah, I agree. You're pretty close. Just go ahead and drop him off. You're already one dick out the door. Just go ahead and drop him off. You're already one dick out the door. I think this dude's just gay.

I think he just wants to meet guys because he doesn't even want to be with her. What about cuckling? You down to watch your girl get hammer-timed? I could. Is that better? That's better. I couldn't do it, man. That's a lot.

Really? How long you been with her? Three and a half years, and we still fuck. Give it another two years, you'll be like, yeah, I'm cool. Yeah? We'll see. Too legit to quit. Hey, hey.

Too legit. Too legit to quit. Hey, hey. All right. Shout out to this girl if you figure out quit fucking dudes. Yeah, or it's, look, I think that at a level, in some ways, things are evolving in relationships where it's like if you communicate good, then people can kind of engage in different things and stuff. I really believe that, man, because a lot of people are getting out of regular marriages. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those, but for some people it doesn't work.

I think some people are more into a group thing. Poly. Like Boober. They want a little of this and they want this to come by. It's called a cult, Theo. Is it? Yes, bro. Sex cult. Well, I'm not surprised that some of that's going on. A lot of people want more state

governments now. A lot of people, places are different than other places. We're starting to realize that. I'm down with the fucking, dude. There you go. He's down with the fucking. Let me know if you want me to come over and figure it out. Wow. Your man's going to be terrified. Wow, dude.

Well, we'll see. Like a singing freaking smell-o-gram, bring your stinking dick over there. Yeah, yeah. Aw, thank you very much for your video, young lady. Yes, thank you. Good luck. That's it today, boys. It is?

That's it. Alrighty, dude. Suki, suki, huh? Suki, suki. All right. Shout out to Watermelons. I'm in Tampa Friday and Saturday. This Friday and Saturday, baby.

And after that, I'm in Cleveland, baby. And then also my special drops next week, May 17th. You'd be surprised on Showtime, May 17th at 10 p.m., dude. Congratulations, dude. I saw the trailer. It looks good. Thanks, brother. Dude, it looksth at 10 p.m., dude. Congratulations, dude. I saw the trailer. It looks good. Thanks, brother. It looks so good, man.

And honestly, bro, I was like, what is this going to be like? And it was good, man. I'll take it, brother. Thanks, man. And I shouldn't even have said it like that, man. Yeah, the trailer blew me away. Sometimes trailers, you don't know what it's like. What is this going to be like?

A lot of people's trailers suck. People try too hard. It's kind of crazy. Dude, I thought yours was dialed in exactly into who you are, man. I really, really enjoyed it. Appreciate it, man. Yeah, I'm excited, man. I'm excited to...

You went on tour, right? Yeah, yeah. Still, I'll be out there, man. I'll be out there. Dark arts, baby. Dark arts tour, June 13th, Vancouver. June 14th, Seattle. June 15th, Portland, Oregon.

June 16th, Boise, Idaho. And that's on Father's Day. And so bring your dad out there to Boise. You know what I'm saying? Couple of boys. Couple of cock holes. Yeah, bring your cock hole. Bring your wife out.

Bring your sister. Do everything, bro. Watermelon's for air, buddy. Watermelon. It's getting hot in here. All right. Love you guys. Serve hard.

Serve hard. Love you guys. All right, man.