The Golden Hour - Episode 190: Vape Daddies

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

Theo recaps his adventure with Koreans and the guys talk the Hallyu Wave, vaping, Will Smith's apology video, Theo's invite to Red Table Talk, morning sex, all new KATS In The Wild, mosh pits, Andrew Tate and much more!  If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NJ/ NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. N/A in NH/OR/ON. One per new customer. Min. $5 deposit and wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 8/20/22. SGP Opt-in req. Max. wager $10. Max winnings vary. Min 3-leg SGP. SGP must lose to receive up to $10 Free Bet award. Exp. prior to start of final UFC 277 fight. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yeah, Mike is fearless though, man. And I don't know if you can knock Mike out. You can. I don't know. Mike Van and Paige can. And you know who's the co-main event is Paige Van Zandt. Never bad when she gets sweaty. You feel me?

Yeah. I used to like all of her pictures on Instagram. Then she got married. You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying.

Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So. I heard they say they can tell if you're a pedophilia if you get the Fruit Loop one. Oh, really? Yeah. You know, I think it would be interesting if they, I wish they helped you more. I wish you could hit it and it would help you do a test or do something. I know. You know what it did to me?

It'd be horrible anxiety. Yeah. Horrible anxiety. My therapist is like, well, have you switched anything up? I'm like, not really. I still do all my nicotine, Pat, like the, these, and I drink a bunch of coffee. She's like, nothing else. I'm like, oh, I started vaping. She's like, hey, dumb ass, you're overdosing on fucking nicotine. Figure it out. Well, you're on a bunch of coffee. She's like, nothing else? I'm like, oh, I started vaping. She's like, hey, dumbass, you're overdosing on fucking nicotine. Figure it out. Well, you're on a lot of different stimulants, you know? I know you put creatine, too, in that whiskey. Hell yeah, daddy.

Damn. A little creatine, a little protein powder. Dang, baby. Dude, we just had this guy on. I was talking to this guy all morning who does. On this past weekend? Yeah, on this past weekend. He's a, bring this man up.

His name is Max Moore. Max Moore? From Alcor. A-L-C-O-R. Max Moore from Alcor. Eats Alcor. By the seashore. There you go.

Dude, this guy. Damn, his hair is dope. Bro, this is the company that freezes you. People always talk about being frozen. It blew my mind. He needs to freeze his hairline. Bro, this dude, he could be, I think he's 700 years old. He could be a vampire.

Bro, if anybody, it was just unbelievable. Look how he is, dude. This was him like a year ago. That's him frozen. That's him frozen in England. That's time. He froze himself as a kid. He's England. He's him frozen in england that's time he froze himself as a kid he's england he's england man he's from england so his whole thing is you can go to him and pay him when you die he freezes your body like demolition man bring that up nick they show up and

i mean they drop you in they freeze you they get you down i mean you are once you're dead though well once you are clinically or legally dead there's a couple different deads so you have to get through two of the deads and there's one more dead and before that one that could be us see a if you freeze me i want my face to be hilarious and also i'm gonna have to chub this dick up if i'm naked i don't want that thing to be out in the cold the freezing cold you're in there with other people too sometimes. Oh, that's the discount. Four for one, man.

You and your buddies down. They got some families doing it now and stuff. But, yeah, I think. Would you get frozen, Chen? I feel like it's something you guys would do. No. I'd rather just be. Not even.

When you get buried in the dirt and then you become something else like, you know, flowers and all that stuff, I'd rather do that. Oh, Jen, old school. Not in a casket. What about that comeback, though, baby? Yeah, baby. I don't believe in that. Do you guys believe in that? You don't believe in science, Jen?

Frozen? Yeah, because you're freezing because you're hoping technology in a, you know. If I die, I don't want to come back. Look at Hormel, dude. Look at Tyson, bro. Look at Elon Musk. Hormel. Figure it out, bro. Well, look at thoseel dude look at tyson bro look at elon musk or mel figure it out bro well look at those frozen meals dude you broke it's that's all it is baby it's just that's all you are is

you're just a meal dude you're one of god's meals baby and you're one of god's fucking hot pockets chin these folks will reheat you they got yeah and they got ted williams look at him right there bam oh he looks terrible well hold. They cut his head off. Did he go to the same company? No. He did head only. He did head only. Why? That's terrifying.

But they're extrapolating or whatever it is, imagining that you could get technology will be where you'll be able to have new tissue and everything. But I thought they were doing it. So I think Ted Williams did it in hopes that they can download your brain eventually so you're living through, like, the computer, right? Well, everything else, if it's tissue, they would be able to, like, recreate. So they can already do organs, some organs. The liver already remakes itself. So they can do some organs.

And they can keep pigs. Pigs they can bring back to life. So pigs can be dead dead for a few hours and they can bring them back to life see so think in 50 years renewing pigs think we're thinking 50 years chan where the the technology is going to be i feel like feel they're going to freeze and you're awake first thing you say did the chinese take over like god damn you're like 80 and you die, you want to come back? 80? No, no, no. That's the thing. Freeze me in my prime, right? That means you got to die early.

Or just freeze. I don't have to die. Just freeze me, daddy. Freeze me in shape. I'm going to do a diet, get in really good shape, and then freeze me. But, Brennan, you're going to leave your family and everything. I know. You got to think about other people.

And then also, I was hanging out with some koreans this week and um john park do you know that guy yeah korean guy and uh bobby lee you guys know him there's john park right there john park's a singer yeah yeah he's a singer and he's from bta is he no no he's from uh it's a competition show anyone how do I know him? From BTS. How do I know John Park? BLM. But John Park is like a very, very like Korean name.

A Korean American name. Oh, John Park. I think he was a pitcher for the Dodgers in the 90s. Yeah. Trading cards. Him and Bobby Lee. They're hanging out? Yeah.

And they said they don't like the Chinese. That's what they said. I mean, that's nothing surprising. Is that a thing, Chen is that a thing chin oh the japanese but not so much the chinese but the japanese who do you hate chin i don't hate anyone come on hey no but my parents my parents are very strong about me not ever dating a japanese girl wow hell yeah that's how strong it is hell yeah tradition yeah a lot of bad stuff no japanese if a japanese guy get punched a bunch of times they look chinese yeah especially in the eyes i don't know about that you just gotta ship you shut them down a little yeah their faces yeah anyway so i've just been spending a lot of time i guess

learning about yeah a lot of korean stuff dude chingu chingu chingu you know what that means my friend yep oh chingu there's a movie called chingu too chingu great but also uh are you eating are you eating like korean barbecue and shit that's the best food nothing internal i've just been talking with these guys just hanging out with koreans yeah it's interesting man it's just interesting to see them operate see them be around each other kind of take any clues you can did anybody bring up uh that bts broke up are they sad about it did anybody mention that that'd be my first question for all of them. I don't think so.

I don't even know about BTS. Oh my God. Are you living under, have you been frozen for the last five years? They're the biggest, the biggest band in the world, daddy.

Really? Yeah, by far, dude. Uh-oh, rumors. Now, are they seven transgender women? Maybe. I don't know, but I love their music.

All right. But they don't care, and a lot of Asian cultures don't even care about their crotches as much as we do in America. No, they treat it like a Barbie doll. You know, there's just nothing there. Like Ken doesn't have a big dick.

Yeah, Ken never did have it. Yeah, that one with the pink hair is struggling with his pronouns, and he is in the third round. He's down 10-8. He's got nice lips, though. Yes. They've all had major surgery. Have they really, you think, Chin? Oh, I know for a fact.

I mean, we know that Koreans probably have the most plastic surgery. Yeah, there must be a- Dude, are you not hanging out with Koreans? I only hang out with one Korean, and I know this. I just did. Oh, they're super into that shit. I didn't know this. Yeah, wouldn't you say Korea's like the trendsetters for the Asian culture?

We're in the best capital. They're considered the plastic surgery capital of the world. Ask your Korean friends, dude. You know what? Educate yourself before you hang out with them. Now I know. The effect of the Hallyu wave. That's the whole Korean pop.

South Koreans are fanatical with the Hallyu wave. Yeah. Some will even. What is that? Can you go back, Nick? I'm sorry. Some will even have the surgery to make their eyes round instead of almond.

Today's youth aim to be just like their K-pop idols. So they undergo various procedures from head to toe. Wow, even their feet. You can start recognizing the faces when they have surgery. They're almost all similar.

The nose and the eyes. It's like, yeah. And they do jaw shaving too to make it thinner. And who does it? Is children doing it even mean yeah but i mean as long as the problem in korea is their suicide rate through the fucking roof because they're they're haters like they're trolls different level daddy you think my reddit's bad try being a bts korean bro really the hate they get is insane damn insane crazy so many yeah There's so many avenues of hate. You should go fight over there.

In Korea? Yeah. Fight what? Fight Koreans. In a league? There's no Korean heavyweights. Just seeing if I get the hate. I just tweeted BTS sucks.

We'll see if anything happens. You should put a hashtag BTS. Yeah, come on, bro. No, people will know. BTS would still show up on that hashtag Do you even tweet? Dude I'm excited about that San Hagen Rodriguez

San Hagen um cruise fight Oh no no no okay well hold on Isn't that happening Nick? You want me to take it from here Nick? Oh Cruz Vera Wow Vera Cruz what is that? It's a new Chevy car coming up. But first of all,

Sandy Higgins fighting a Chinese kid who is a monster. Young Dong or whatever. Yeah. Young Dong is a fucking savage. I don't know why Sandy Higgins agreed to take this fight. He's ranked four.

This kid's 10 and he's a fucking nightmare. Yeah, but Sanhagen's a damn fucking fist criminal. He'll do it. Song Young Dong. Song Young Dong. Spinning fist. He's 19 and 6.

That's my call. From who? From Sanhagen. Yeah. Song goes really straightforward. I'm going to take Sanhagen via submission. I like that. That's coming up soon, man.

You got Chito and Donald Cruz. Corey, he should have won that. He hypothetically won that fight. That could have gone either way. Against TJ? I thought he wanted to. No, no, no. Absolutely not. He kept giving his back. Can't do that. You're going to lose the fight. Cruz Vera. Wow. There's some good fights coming up. On the 20th, you got kept doing his back can't do that you're gonna lose the fight Cruz Vera wow

there's some good fights coming up and then on the 20th you got this guy's a future champ David Onama he's a James Krause guy he's amazing

damn yeah he's a beast at featherweight yeah you got our boy Jack Shore lost a week I know

he fought a savage too yeah it was a good fight I mean it was I don't think it was that long of a fight but but also with he got choked out right and with he fought a savage, too. Yeah. It was a good fight. I mean, I don't think it was that long of a fight, but. But also, he got choked out, right? And he fought Simon, right?

Mm-hmm. Simon used to have the mullet. That's why I fucked with him. Shaved it. Ricky Simone, huh? I didn't recognize him. What are you doing, dude? You know he's part of the crew or not, dude?

He's won five in a row, hasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he's really coming up. He's that little drummer boy, dog. He's fucking beating, son. Mm-hmm. I don't think people think that as a setback for Jack Shore.

No, it's too much for him too soon. They're just trying to see where he's at. Both of those guys are great. Shore will be fine. Shore's our boy. I'm excited. Simone's fun to watch too, man. A lot of great guys doing fights. UFC 278 is here and it is action-packed. That's right. You have the Kamaru Usman

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See show notes for details. See next page for direction for disclaimer. I'm excited to see these sweater puppies. What's going on here, Dad? Damn, look at them. Damn. Fucking sternum hawks, baby. I like them bitches to fly right in my face, Doug.

Hey, it's Ike and Sting. What's up, Brendan, Theo, Chris, Eric, Nick, and Chin. I have a King of the Sting for you. One-on-one vacation with your parents. Nope. I recently took my mom out to Maui, and I was super nervous about it at first because just the thought of going on a vacation with your mother sounds pretty weird. So I was scared.

But it turned out being the best time ever. So, can't understand it, taking her parents on vacation. It can be hard, man. My mom helped me move a TV in the house and we almost fucking killed each other. Yeah, I took my mom to 7-Eleven. I just left her there. I mean, it was a 10-minute drive. I was like, fuck this noise.

It's a lot, man. There's triggering things, you know? Yeah. It's tough. It depends on your relationship with your parents. Like, my girl and her mom are best friends, so they'd be fine. Oh, yeah. I'd take your wife's mom on a trip.

She's awesome. Hell, yeah. She's great. But, yeah, me and my dad, I know that we're older. It'd be tough. I should do it, though. You know what I'm saying? They're getting older.

I think I've offered to take my mom somewhere. She doesn't like to go anywhere except Arizona. But I think that this girl seems good, huh? Yeah, she's cool. With them fucking upper front stomachs, homie. Damn. Her mom Asian, huh? Her mom a little BTS looking.

Is that her mom? Damn, boy. Hell yeah, that's her mom. She does look a little Asian, huh? Her mom a little BTS looking. Is that her mom? Damn, boy. Hell yeah, that's her mom. She does look a little Asian, yeah. The only problem is you go to Hawaii and you see them single with them sweater puppies in Hawaii. And you want to hook up with a local Moana, you feel me? What do you tell your mom? You're probably sharing a room, right?

I don't know. This girl needs a Z-Pack, baby. She got them swollen glands, dog. You feel me? I'm talking about tits, boy. We do what you're talking about, man. I'll dress up like your mom. Dude, I'll eat a Spam sandwich for her, dog.

All night, daddy. A little snorkel Spam sandwich, some tits. She got them launchers, baby. God damn. Them baby buffets, boy. She got them Spams. That's about to be my make-a-wish right here. Good God, bro. A little Spam and tits. She earned that sc, boy. She got them damn. That's about to be my make a wish right here. Good God, bro.

A little spam and tit. She earned that scoliosis, son, I bet. God damn, boy. Yeah, I do feel bad for her back. Ooh, ooh. Oh. Oh, it's Cheeto Vera. It's Cheeto Vera.

Total opposite. There's Cheeto Vera. Total opposite. Ain't that about a bitch? Oh, that dime you just put up there, Nick. We'll leave her out there. Yeah. Now I'm back in a better mood.

This guy's eyes are glassy as shit. He's either high or he's been crying. I think he was at the gym. What's up, cats? It's your boy Matt back again from New York City with another King It or Sting It. I will not waste my time with shout-outs because you're very clearly running a halfway house over there. That being said, King It or Sting It it the will smith apology video have you seen it could you get through it did it make you want to throw your phone through a window will smith

essentially starts it by saying chris rock hasn't given me the opportunity to apologize yet so i'll do it here in front of the fucking world first of all consent second of all what the fuck what did you think is he grasping at straws? Is it tone deaf? Is Will Smith losing his goddamn mind? I like this guy. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I tried, Eric. Okay, I don't even know the fucking pitch. Will Smith's thing is, first of all, dude, it's four months after the fact, right? So way too late. Also, clearly your therapist, your PR team wrote this. So it's not like sincere. You can tell like he's reading from a fucking teleprompter. He's got multiple cameras.

Yeah, there's multiple angles they had to edit it and shit. I like Will Smith. So he slapped the guy, you know? Now, did I keep that same energy last night with Tony Rock? Absolutely not. I was like, dude, you believe Will Smith? the guy you know now did i keep that same energy last night with tony rock absolutely not i was like dude you believe will smith i think yeah this it felt like if you say to somebody you have an acceptive like whenever you're ready for my apology it's it's like it's almost like trying to put them down in a way um yeah you put it on them like i've reached out i've tried to be cool

and he's not accepting it it's like yeah dude you slapped him at the oscars he's never gonna get over it yeah and i think and chris is doing a great job not saying anything because then he gets to you finally use it to his own advantage he's usually on stage yeah he took it like a champ he's selling great tickets people want to see what he's got to say about it um i'm sure it's amazing i haven't seen him perform i've seen his brother t Tony perform last night about it. Savage. And Tony was doing great. Tony is a savage.

The curtain moved a little bit behind him, and he's like, who the fuck's coming up here? He's like, I hope they bring it out here. Yeah, Tony's great. Such an underrated comic. He's amazing. Unbelievable. You and him last night. Crush.

He was unbelievable. Both of you guys, man. He did that Britney Griner stuff. He's so good. It must suck being tall in like a short, like just a regular prison cell. He kept impersonating her hanging out of the cell. It's so funny, man. Yeah, he's so funny.

Yeah, but I think, yeah, I mean, Will just obviously just spoiled and just lives in a different universe. Dude, he's been famous since he was 17. I know. He was a child prince or whatever. Yeah, dude. Came to Bel Air. spoiled and just lives in a different universe dude he's been famous since he was 17 i know he was a child uh prince or whatever yeah dude came to bel-air you know what i'm saying like he's been he's so fucking rich and then his wife is fucking famous she has a talk show once a week out of their fucking kitchen his kids are millionaires they live with them they asked me to be on that one time red table and he said no yeah why because i think they were trying to do it like a gotcha moment yeah just like something's wrong with whites or something i just didn't want

to be oh i do that would have been i will pay you to go on there and defend us yes that would be fantastic i'll see if i it was like start lighting her up about her hair and it was like a year and a half ago i don't know if it would be a safe environment for everyone. I'll come with you. You could just be on their side and be like, I'm Nicaraguan. I hate white people too. No, no, I'll come with you, dude. I'd be like, let's talk about wiggers though.

That's the real issue in this country, dude. These W's. And they just keep going, Phil, will you please answer the question? I don't know, man. Here's Will Smith's fifth apology video. He's obviously. That's also with the Fro-Man from Incredibles. He's obviously going through.

What's going on, fellas? This your boy, Jay Sean, checking in from Cashfield, Tennessee. He's tired. Great teeth. The king of the stinking for you guys. Morning sex. Are we still doing the deed even though we just woke up? My gal just left from giving me that good old morning topper.

She really blessed your boy. Quite lovely right now. He seems relaxed. Morning sex. King of the sting it. Big fan of the show, fellas. Keep it up. Gang, gang.

Buzz, buzz. Soar. Riffing with Griffey. with griffin whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah yeah yeah shout out my nigga eric dude he looks like a character from the pjs he looks so animated his teeth are fantastic that's the future right there, man. Beige power, baby. I'm jealous of it. And what is this man asking? He's asking more than sex.

Here's something about more than sex. You tell us about it. You're married. Yeah, I'm married. What is it like once you're married? Does he not look like a PJ? If you flip his head up. Good call, Brendan.

Oh, yeah. And he also is like the Fro-Man from Incredibles. Oh yeah And he also is like The Fro-Man from Incredibles But Yeah he does Dude I watched Afro-Man Perform one time At a college party

Really? Cause I got that That guy Yeah And he like He was I think he was High or something

And he just puked in his hat Because he got high Yeah That guy's great and just threw it off the back of the stage it was all this is sad that's merge baby that's custom merch one of a kind uh morning sex i'll be married i can't anymore when i was younger is my favorite dude my favorite the problem is you got that dick breath i wake up my breath smells like fucking hot your breath it's your breath you idiot i know but my breath smells like fucking hot shit. What is with your breath? It's your breath, you idiot.

I know, but my girl has to, I'm trying to kiss her and I got fucking dick breath. Are y'all doing morning sex? Dick breath. No, dude, I can't remember. We got kids, so my son would jump in bed at 5.30 a.m. Daddy ain't waking up at 5.30 a.m. to fuck anything. 5.28. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Dude, Carmen Electra could wake me up in her prime at 5 30 in the morning and my dick

goes you out your mind it ain't happening daddy then you got kids you're tired dude 5 30 i know and then you don't want you then you don't want to have start sex if kids come in oh he's scarred for life you know i'm saying because daddy puts it down right daddy puts it down i can't have the kid see that i don't know what daddy does. Yeah, yeah. I got oils. I got fucking lubricants. I got a ball gag.

Oils, dude? Test 200 doesn't count, okay? No, I lube my girl up with Winstraw. She's like, what I look like the Rock's ex-wife? I'm like, shut up, bitch. I think the big issue for me is i haven't had morning sex in a long time so i don't even know anything about it anymore and i forget what it's like i think it's hard to wake up with enough energy to take on the day so to then use a lot of it

right in the beginning you're not drinking the right coffee though daddy seems like a defeatist deal no bro you get some death you drink like black coffee in the morning uh-uh dude i got this coffee death wish it comes from brooklyn it is the strongest coffee in the world bro i tell my girl careful drink that you get a fucking mustache bitch that's how strong it is she's looking real mexican she should go from joanna jose real quick really it'll put some fucking hairs on your upper lip do mexican people have a lot of hair on their lip? No, just males. And then some females if the sun hits the right angle.

The males keep that little baby cape going, boy. No matter what. My kids are half Mexican, man. You forget. They both got mustaches. Damn, that's beautiful. They're doing the fucking roof right now. We got a Cats in the Wild.

Eric's been doing some odd stuff in his free time and that's me doing the push-up holy this is an iraq or some and what is this blue cross blue shield i think i have this program this insurance well that guy's push-up is terrible where the that has to be iraq iran or And what is this, Blue Cross Blue Shield? I think I have this insurance. Well, that guy's push-up's terrible. Where the fuck? That has to be Iraq, Iran or something, right, Nick? Yeah.

Them boys live by a different set of rules. And then we had another one. Brendan's been in the gym, and he switched up his look. I wish I looked like that. Oh, no, dude, that's Chris Angel. Oh, I wish I looked like that. That's Chris Anger, dude. That guy.

Yeah, that dude needs betterhelp.com promo code cats. Whoa, he has metal in his tits. Dude, second best tits we've seen today. Natty or not. Natty or not. Let's go to Mark Harley for that. What do you think, Natty or not, Mark Harley? Zero chance.

That's great. He looks amazing. Yeah, he's done a lot of hard work still, but that boy is... Not Natty. Uh-uh. You saw the... Pointy boy one. He's protein pony two.

That's his handle.'s protein pony two that's it that's his handle protein pony two no it's pony boy oh this guy's fantastic now did he choose that limp biscuit song is that yes oh wow that's a real fuck you what's that thing by his ribs you see that shit oh those are called muscles bro oh damn yeah we don't have them uh and then working out hard speaking of uh limp biscuit this guy's got a debate club for us hey guys pardon my thick accent i am from serbia not russia so I have a music debate club. I was born in 1990. So I was a kid from new metal era of rock music. And I was a big fan of those bands. So today's debate club would be Limp Bizkit or Korn.

Gang, gang, buzz buzz sore this guy is great oh i love it beautiful guy that guy a boy dodging bullets in ukraine it seems right yeah um this guy drives every uber black i would like to say that this guy drives every uber black i would like to say that thank you i'll tip you on the app and secondly um biscuit or corn daddy man says a lot about a man is fred durst limp biscuit yes yes i like uh fred durst you like him as the the person now he's sober vegan i like brian welch also from corn so and he's a corn again christian now and um so holy fascinating dudes he looks like jared let go um i know i i got to interview brian one time dude he tells this crazy story he used to get heroin fed x'd to him on tour man it's like he's had a crazy life man fascinating guy he's a tattoo on his eye before it's cool and fred is an interesting dude but with the bands

i don't know i don't know enough about it you probably know more about the music corn i mean corn all day corn you can play corn today right now corn is lit as man i go to corn concert right now i worked security for a corn concert and it was insane yeah i got beat up i was security yeah that's how lit it was dude but you're saying i didn't mind it either yeah yeah i did beat myself up i was in the mosh pit just head bang dude my spits are kind of making a comeback i feel like and they are fire bro mosh pits are kind of making a comeback, I feel like. And they are fire, bro. Mosh pits, there's nothing better than getting out there and seeing what's up. I've never understood. Why mosh pit?

Because it's just like an express. It almost goes back to, I think, like Native American times when people would like dance in like a circle around. Yeah, and that worked out for them. Here's what mosh pits are. Mosh pits, white guys were at a concert. Well, we can't dance. So let's just run into each other. And the rest of the whites went, great idea.

It has a Neanderthal-ic kind of thing. You're out there, you're kind of moving, you're not trying to hit people, but you're trying to hit people. And if you fall down, they help you up. There's rules to it, right? If you get knocked down, they lift you back up before you get trampled to death. Yeah, and it's like they have kids that go out there sometimes

and people act all protective of them and shit. The whole thing's kind of bizarre. I think it's big in Asian cultures, isn't it, Shin? Mosh pits? No. It's a very white thing. You're not going to go to a Snoop Dogg concert and see a mosh pit. It's white guys who have no rhythm running into each other

getting CT. I'm calling Chipotle right now. Yeah. Chipotle security. I used to like doing them. Would you get that big ass involved you booty bump everybody i get in there my big my buddy matt shenever was like the biggest guy in our area and he would always go so i would i'd always just kind of mill around under his arms and shit just like you know and i'd sneak it every now and then and just snipe somebody in the net

bro i worked security for it uh for the corn concert i forget what other concert might have been uh guar a band that dresses up and shit and there's the gore g war yeah g war i love remember that on oprah anyways so um i was working security and then i just see bodies in the mosh pit like who the fuck's over at fucking thor and i look and uh because i was playing college football at the time, my football buddies, like starting linebacker and fullback for the University of Colorado decided to go in the mosh pit.

Yeah. And they were just fucking people up. Gang shit. And they don't know the rules. Gang shit. So they were just blindsiding these bitches.

I love that, man. Oh, it was fantastic. They got kicked out. I'm going to be there. I'm going to Denver, man. I got some shows in Denver. Where at? Coming up in October At the Paramount Theater

So It's a great venue man They're on sale now At theovon.com Slash tour My mom's I can already Assume

She's asking me for tickets right now Yeah she broke her ankle man Damn really? What how? She was doing some pottery business And then just missed the step And literally Fractured ankle Dude that's the scary thing About becoming more of an adult Is that How? She was doing some pottery business and then just missed the step and literally fractured an ankle.

Dude, that's the scary thing about becoming more of an adult is that there's so many, everything is a risk. Sometimes even now, in the shower, you slip a little. You're like, dude, in 20 years. Game set match. You slip in that fucking shower, butt naked and juicy like that. It's so slippery. That's why those mats make sense, dude. You got to get that grab height in there.

You imagine going out like that, just slipping, hitting your fucking head on the bathtub, naked. And the water's just hitting you. Dude, another reason. Freeze yourself right now. Full circle, daddy.

Yeah, I think if I got in there frozen, but the thing you have to think about with getting frozen, what people don't think about is like, you're gonna come back. It's like you have to think about with getting frozen, what people don't think about is, like, you're going to come back. It's like you're going to be back in the society. Like, what would that be like? Like, everybody you know is going to be gone. It's going to be like getting released from prison or whatever.

But you're going to meet your great, great, great grandkids. That's going to be dope. And they're going to be busy, dude. Yeah. And you're just going to be, like, hanging out with them. And they're like, get out of here, man. Yeah. You keep making shitty jokes. Yeah, dad like 90 references your brain

Just shuts down every now for them for like 90 minutes at a time. Yeah It'd be interesting I think it'd be nice to probably You could probably just go for a walk. Nobody would give a fuck You could go missing you would have anybody to call, but it's also he would give a fuck. He could go missing. He wouldn't have anybody to call. But it's also,

there's a movie called Blast from the Past, right? That's the same plot, dude. Shout out to Brendan Fraser. He was the most famous Brendan for about three years. He did that a lot in Cino Man. He was also Frozen. Great point.

Great movie. He did a lot of stuff, man. He's heavy now, huh? Put on some weight. Did he? Yeah. He's still the most famous brendan my only goal is to be more famous than him it's tough dude he's making a comeback he was so good in

uh school ties it was brendan uh shanahan the captain there he's putting some weight oh that's a fat suit yeah that's me in four years so that's cool i think that's real though and the fat no that's him real on the left and that's also my agent at ca so that's cool but the fat gets angry. No, that's him real on the left. That's also my agent at CA, so that's cool. But the fat get angry when they do that. When you put on weight? No, when they put fat suits on regular folks. I know. They're like, oh, you couldn't find a fat person to play? It's like, no, bitch.

Yeah, that's why we hired him to put a fat suit on. It's fat face. He has the skills, you dumbass. Yeah. You just put the fat on him. Figure it out. Yeah, it's talent plus fat. It's not just fat.

Yeah. Come on. Figure it out, y'all. What are fat. It's not just fat. Yeah. Come on. Figure it out, y'all. What are you upset about? That's crazy, man. Remember that movie Precious? Huh? Remember the movie Precious and Blindside came out like back-to-back months?

I haven't watched that. I thought it was the same person. Hashtag no racism. I thought it was the same person. I'm like, this person's crushing it. I love that show Last Chance U. chance you oh yeah it started off fire it got the last two seasons have been good not as good but when that coach did you have to coach on the show yeah slapped it yeah he was good dude remember he got fired because there was a german kid on team and

he was like i'm your hitler yeah we're gonna have to fire you. So crazy. They fired him, man. That dude was a fucking king. He still has great TikToks and IG. Is he still coaching? No, I think he's just smoking cigars and yelling shit. You mentioned Precious. Kathy Hilton, Paris Hilton's mom, was on the show with Andy Cohen. And I guess she was on Real Housewives and she confused two black women. And then so they played a game like, does Kathy know who this black person is?

And this clip was amazing. Oh, they're setting her up. Before he played his clip, so I was on that show, the Andy Cohen show, this exact show. And they take live callers, and they don't screen the calls. And they're like, oh, we have a question about stand-up. I'm like, fantastic. Hit it. And this guy, he seems sincere.

He's like, hey, Brent, big fan here. I love that you're at the Comedy Store all the time. And I'm like, fantastic, hit it. And this guy, he seems sincere. He's like, hey, Brent, big fan here. I love that you're at the Comedy Store all the time. And I'm like, oh, thanks, dude. You've been to some shows. He goes, I have, I have. And I love seeing you perform, man. Real quick, what's it like to suck Joe Rogan's cock in the green room? Was it a gay guy?

I don't know. I can't believe they let Theo through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude. Was it a gay guy? I don't know. I can't believe they let Theo through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Dude, I was all.

I literally was all. And I was dressed like a blackjack dealer. But tell us what it's like. I had a vest on. No, I did tell them what it's like. It's the biggest episode ever. So what is this? They mixed up a black lady?

Yes. I feel like I do, Precious. No, that's not true. Dude, they're just setting her up to get canceled. She doesn't care. But if you're an older white lady, like, you don't have to know Lizzo. Yeah. Like, you have no fucking clue.

No, dude. Yeah, if you're an older white lady, it's precious as far as you're gonna get. Before that, it's gonna be that lady from What's Happening Now. You bring her up. My favorite is when Lizzo decided to get healthy and like drink juices and like try and lose weight and the

shaming she got. She's like, alright and then the next day posted a picture with KFC. Oh, so the second one. Oh, I remember this girl. Yeah, she was good. Shirley Hemphill? Shirley Hemphill, yeah. That's all.

The older white people only know her and Precious. That's it. Man, Shirley Hemphill is fun as fuck too, dog. Real talk. Or that could even be what's his name from SNL?

Derek Poston? Is it Derek Poston? Kenan Thompson? Could be Kenan Thompson. All right. I saw Derek a couple weeks ago. He was great, man. So funny.

Yeah, I saw him, and I saw his girlfriend perform, actually, too. In Texas? Yeah, that makes sense. UFC278 is here, and it is action-packed. Throw down and grab your own epic victory with DraftKings Sportsbook, the official sports betting partner the UFC this Saturday new customers can bet just five dollars and get two hundred dollars in free bets instantly win or lose if that's not enough action for you you can also

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Minimum age eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. See next page for direction for disclaimer. It's Tom Hanks. Chris, Theo, Eric, Brendan. I've got to king it and sting it for you. I'm in the UK at the moment and it's fucking hideously

hot. And am I whiter than Chris? 100%. Fucking hell, Casper. Fucking hell. Anyway, king it or sting it, cauliflower pizza crust. What do you guys think? We wouldn't do it in the UK. I mean, it's just basically like having a pizza and then Shob's bad ear just falls off on the edge of the crust. Damn, this dude.

If you're going to go pizza, go pizza, bro. Don't try and be all healthy and go fucking cauliflower pizza. That's bitch shit, bro. Nothing gayer than when your buddy orders cauliflower pizza. Just had it yesterday. You did? Yeah. Why?

I'm in a competition with Chin to lose weight for no reason. He's going to have to pay me $600. I've lost 15 pounds in 10 days. Damn, you do look like there's something wrong with you. Yeah, I know. I've gotten a lot. I thought you were sick. I'm trying to hit 155.

Adrian Yanez gave me some tips. If you weren't such a good producer, I figured you had monkey pox. And I was like, he can stay. Has your energy gone up, though? Yeah, I feel. Because I've actually been eating pretty healthy meals. I'm about to get kind of closer to anorexia.

But then I'm going to give Chin an opportunity to win his money back. Check out Cats After Dark. Cats After Dark, guys. That's where they're doing this kind of shit, dude. This experimental stuff, dude. This guy should get a chlorophyll pizza, I think. This guy, I don't know about pizza. This guy just needs, fuck your pizza.

This guy needs some sun. That's what he needs. Yeah, dude. This guy needs somebody to beat him in the fucking neck with some damn sunlight. It's just, yeah, I am alarmed at the level of white that can happen to people. Oh, dude. In England, the white out there is different like my aunt nubby's legs she'll lift her leg bro it'll blind you it's like a it's a iphone

fucking flashlight her legs are insane dude i used to go to my buddy beau's house for like family dinners or gatherings or something yeah and his aunt dude would she used to sit and she had these two dogs would sit on each one of her legs like gargoyles. Hell, yeah. They'd sit on her kneecaps, these little bitty dogs. She was really, really just kind of fat. Yeah. I like how you didn't sugarcoat that.

Or she was just, you know, something had happened to her. Yeah, yeah. By something happened, you mean food happened. Well, I think she had a glandular issue. Yeah, that's what all these fat people say. Oh, it's a thyroid problem. No, it ain't. No, this lady was glandular.

She had like 700 glands in each one fat people say. Oh, it's a thyroid problem. No, it ain't. No, this lady was glanded. She had like 700 glands in each one of her legs. Oh, damn. And she kept bringing me over. She'd always hug me and tell me she cherished me. And I didn't know her. Yeah. And so I think she thought I was somebody else. No, no, no, no, no. It's very

clear. She's trying to fuck, bro. Yeah, very clear. Ah. If you're fucked, you can't fuck kids, man. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. It's frowned upon. She's trying to fuck, bro. Yeah, very clear. If you're fucked, you can't fuck kids, man. You shouldn't. You shouldn't. It's frowned upon. She wanted to split a fucking pizza with you and fuck. She wanted to split a pizza to this young wiener.

What's going on, fellas? It's your boy Ted. Just taking a little break out of this Florida heat. He's called in before. It's going to catch a little rain. A lot. Got a debate club for you guys. Chaperoning them field trips with the kiddos.

Brendan, I know Tiger's getting to that age, man. He's taking field trips. You probably get some chaperone opportunities. You know, it's kind of cool just to take the day and say, screw work, and I'm going to go to the space center or the zoo or the museum with my kids, you know? This is the Logan Paul guy, right? Yeah. Yeah, I love him, man. What's his name? Theodore, you know? This is the Logan Paul guy, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I love him, man. What's his name? Theodore Moreland. What do you mean Logan Paul guy? Teddy Moreland. I forget it a lot, but I know him. Logan Paul guy? He's, he's, he's, I've seen, I saw him recently in Florida.

Yeah, the first time he sent in, he really looked like Jake Paul. Oh, word, word. Theo called him fake Paul. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. Chaperoning the kids' field trip. I did it with my son to Universal Studios. Really?

Why? It was a fucking nightmare. Well, Brendan. It was a nightmare. You don't realize how well-behaved your son is until you hang out with these other little fucking demons, man. These kids were awful. Cost me about 700 bucks in bullshit Minion stuff toys.

They're eating seven funnel cakes. Someone has to shit or pee all the time. You don't get to go on any rides because they're not tall how many kids are out there how many digestive tracks 12 12 12 that's impossible and they like did you just do that because you're nice or is that like part of the expectation because i was nice that'd be fun yeah won't do it again i mean buy and buy him the food oh yeah i was just like yeah whatever you guys want and i was like this getting old andy you know i'm saying hey andy how many fucking funnel cases you need buddy i feel like you're taking advantage you know yeah my nephews

just started their new school today in utah oh yeah utah are they mormon no they're not mormon they're just i mean they do like i don't know what they are they just do like a lot of video games and stuff but i have some ants in utah too they're in southern utah by like um right by mount zion park like right when you get outside of the park it's a small town i think it's called um not saint george is it it's further than saint george oh damn it's like uh um what think of it is that your brother what town is there Is that your brother? What town is there? Yeah. Oh, your brother lives out there. Yeah.

They just moved out there. I realized, I thought my aunts and my cousin, I was close with them, and then I just thought they were Mormon, and I realized they're in a cult. So that's cool. Yeah, let me see where they live at. We can tighten this part up. Well, you've done Wise Guys in Salt Lake, yeah? You've done Wise Guys, for sure. Yeah.

Great club. They're by the exit of the park where it's St. George. So they're by... Is it Springdale, Rockville? Hurricane. Hurricane. Okay. They're even further than Hurricane.

Right above St. George. Yeah. So they're like... Yeah, I don't remember the name of the place it's very small why the fuck they move out there they wanted to live out there he's doing farming and white people and yeah whiting it out i get it i mean i don't know what yeah they just went out there but they like it so i'm going out there in a few weeks. Oh, you are?

Yeah. I haven't been out there. You're going to fly in Salt Lake City? I would have been out there. So, yeah, it's good. You're going to fly in Salt Lake City and drive there? I don't know. It's like two and a half hours from Las Vegas.

So this is getting boring. Sorry. That's all good. It took you 15 minutes to realize where he's from. I know. What's going on? The king, the wing, wing the sting and the sing uh this is john coming at you from inland empire big john yes it is another car video sorry eric

um i'm out doing air pick the wrong one it's a mission so here's what it is uh i'm 25 even though i look 35 but i'll always be a child at heart. And I was wondering, for a debate club, if you guys liked hot chocolate. And if you do, do you like it with water or with milk? Let me know. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Soar. Woop, woop.

See you guys. I think, do you guys drink hot chocolate, Chim? What are y'all drinking when it's cold out? What are the Chinese? Green tea. Green tea, right, Chim? My parents always gave us hot chocolate, but with water, not with milk. And were you guys allowed to have it a lot or as much as you wanted?

Every morning. Every morning you'd have it? Now, would they do the packets with the little crunchy fucking marshmallows? The powder. Yeah, the powder, but you can eat the powder with the marshmallows that are like dense. I didn't get the marshmallows. Dude, is there anything more beautiful than a couple little Asians drinking hot chocolate? And my parents

would drink coffee. We did it together. So we felt like we were drinking coffee with them. That's cute, man. God, I would love to be at Peepin' Tom in y'all's neighborhood.

Me too. I'd like an invite. You know what? I'd wake up at 530 and see that. Look, here they come. Here they come. Look at you.

Yeah, it was like a nice bonding experience with the parents. Oh, that's beautiful. There's a lot of pictures of Asian kids drinking hot chocolate. That's their thing. They love to have pictures of them eating and drinking yes

they're usually throwing a peace sign up but they're a lot of them it seems it's getting a little illegal that's getting a little sexual we've seen enough about row four it got pretty sexual i didn't say sexual. It just felt illegal. I got a little weird, man. Hot chocolate. When's the last time you had hot chocolate?

I don't fuck with milk in any facet. You don't? I'm not a baby, bro. I do lactate milk, man. Why? Huh? Why? It's good.

I just fuck off. Try almond milk. Oat milk. I don't like that. Okay. I don't like that. Okay. I don't like. Okay. I mean, oat milk seems not even real.

It seems impossible. Dude, go to Portland. They have 90 different milks at a coffee shop. 90. I'm not going there for that. I would rather just have the lactate. Go there next Proud Boys meeting you have. I'm not doing there for that I would rather just have the lactate Go there next Proud Boys mini you have I'm not doing that dude

Quit zooming into that too I'm not doing any racism man People are always like are you doing racism I'm like no I'm not Armie Hammer's a cannibal, but he's also selling timeshares in the Caymans now. Would y'all ever quit comedy to sell timeshares in the Caymans and be a cannibal? And if you were a cannibal, what body part would you go for? Theo's ass. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.

I mean your ass like jerky, baby. I mean your ass like Cheerios. I would pick a woman first, probably to devour. Oh, I thought he was asking if i'd eat you i'd go woman or asian yeah let's start it with that app maybe one of god's appetizers um so army hammer you know uh robert downey jr paid all his bills this entire time really they don't know each other wow dude i remember i went to a party when i first got into los angeles and robert downey jr's was at the party and everybody's like that guy's a he's a you know he just got in trouble for solicitation or something and everybody's like what you know was it with a

trans talking to somebody everybody was like that guy's screw you know he's ruined this is before iron man yeah yeah i'm gonna one-up your robert downey jr story i was at an oscar party and robert downey jr and will smith was there and uh robert downey jr started throwing sidekicks at me and had me judge his sidekicks while he's in a tuxedo oh that's cool it was a nightmare it's so embarrassing i was trying to hit on fucking kate beckinsale dude and he's throwing fucking sidekick what is sidekicks it is you know what the shit Rogan does Rogan's always doing it so it's like it's an older guy thing who took taekwondo they want to show off they throw a sidekick damn boy yeah I think I don't know what this guy said

but our army army hammer ever quit comedy and go sell timeshares not it weren't no more performing army hammerie Hammer is doing it where? The Cayman Islands. You know, it's funny because during the pandemic, when the pandemic first happened, you know, I didn't even feel like a comedian for a long time because it just stopped. It was like you couldn't do it. Couldn't go anywhere. And I'm sure a lot of people felt like that in a lot of their jobs.

Like, do I want to keep doing this job? What job do I want? You know, because it was like a time where you kind of like had like some reflection. You had a chance to look back and be like, you know, do I want to do, do I miss it that much or what? Yeah. What, what do I do now? You know, you just kind of like, and where did you fall on that? Well, I just, it was good to have some time off. And for a while it was like, it wasn't enough for you though. Yeah. It wasn't enough for you though yeah it wasn't enough for me i don't think because i still was doing a lot of podcasting i was just burnt out but now i feel like yeah i got up the past couple nights i'm feeling good about it so you should

feel good especially the other night at the comedy store crushed bro yeah i mean mark was there chin or chin didn't i know i tried mark went tried. Mark went. I felt crushed, bro. Crushed. It was a very special night. And I haven't seen you perform since, I think, 2018. So I didn't see any of your stuff yet. And yeah, the crowd was on fire. And my girl was laughing so hard, it was almost embarrassing.

You know? Where she's like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It's definitely, yeah. It feels good. And the stage looked beautiful over there. Oh, my God. They really made it look fancy.

They did something with the backs, right? Yeah. Completely different. They changed the lighting. It's definitely a different energy. And shout out to Tripoli. It felt like the old days when it was like Rogan, Joey Diaz, D'Elia, you, all the boys. That's what it felt like.

Yeah, it was fun. I sat in there and watched the show for a while. I had a nice time. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, you did a good job, man. Thanks, brother. It was good. It was fun. But Armie army hammer he uh so he never really but they keep calling him a cannibal no he just fantasized being a cannibal but he was i would love to eat your

rib girl like he he was like so into his man you know i do your pinky toe and she apparently she was into it but i think he got in trouble because he did carve an a in the girl's thigh which is frowned upon. Yeah, branding. But to me, like when I read his things, it's like, oh, he just fantasized about eating people. That's what got him off. He never ate anybody. And I also heard about him selling timeshares, that he might be in rehab,

and then part of it is like getting into like a sense of normalcy. So get like a 9 to 5. He's working in a cubicle. What rehab do you go to for cannibalism? How many other people are in there? How many other people are like, my name's Jeff. I struggle with eating people as well. How many are on this planet?

It's an eating disorder, man. I'm sure there's a lot. There's not a lot. But also, what guy was like, hey, man, I want to raise some money because I'm going to open up a facility for people with cannibalism. Yeah think it would be interesting seems like a bad business plan yeah the weird part must feel like when everybody breaks for lunch and there's just raw meat they're just staring at each other yeah there's like yeah what do y'all want today bob's big boy

Yeah, what do y'all want today? Bob's big boy? What are you guys going to have? I feel like Armie Hammer, he was weird. And what's interesting about him is people don't know this. He comes from like, I don't mean like rich. He comes from like billions. Well, there's a Hammer Museum right over by my apartment. Oh, dude, his family's super rich.

But once this came out, you know, they cut him off. That's why Robert Downey Jr. pays his bills. Shout out to Iron Man. There's got gonna be a documentary about it too i'll watch the fuck out of that but also i heard too once like women found out how much of a freak he is his dms got dirty damn yeah and that must make it even tougher than if you're trying to not you know if he's taking a break from dating or whatever and suddenly you getting extra dms you can flood a dm from just some 10 who wants you to eat her fucking ass.

You know what I'm saying? It'd be a nightmare, dude. I mean, it could be, yeah. Heavy lies the crown. Or it's a blessing. He's like, here we go. Yeah. It's got to probably, yeah.

I mean, if you use a good calendar app, I bet it's not as overwhelming. Time management, really. But here's, what else is happening in the news? Did anything happen in the news today? Oh, what's dot olivia newton johns yeah bro uh uh gene labelle died dude oh yeah judo gene yeah dog olivia was fine she had cancer huh oh she was really attractive when she was older too like yeah for an older Hey Nick, I feel like you're into older chicks. Yeah. Oh, you have a girlfriend now?

Same girl. Yeah, same girlfriend, man. We're up and down. Currently up. There you go. Yeah, it's like his bookie. No, that's always down. You guys are like Bitcoin stock, man. Nick's picks cost me about $7,000 last year. Yeah.

Fuck. What else do we have here? You know what I think is funny is for a hot second, the Ukraine-Russian war was everywhere. And then it's worse now. But they just don't cover it because we stopped caring. They weren't getting ratings. So I love that cnn or fox

news like we'll keep you updated once it's over but it's still it's like worse than ever they should let uh dana white sanction deal with it they could they'd have it over in a saturday night here's a little lady hey guys i love the nose piercing checking in from la and i have a king or singing for you eyelashes on car headlights absolutely not to this area in la mid-city and i've seen quite a few of them over here i personally don't get it i don't think i ever will then again i've never owned a volkswagen beetle so maybe i just can't understand anyway let us know what you think eyelashes on car headlights can Can't either sing it. Now if you're a chick and it's a Volkswagen Beetle, right? It's like a little beetle

that has that on it. That's kind of cute. If you're a bad bitch, you can do your thing. But if you're a dude with a fucking Mazda Miata and you put some fucking things on there, suck dick, right? But if a Transformer shows up, that bitch is getting eaten. You know, because it looks like human, have human characteristics.

Now, bro, if a transformer shows up, that thing's getting fucked. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Oh, the $32.99 for the car lashes? All right, that's a good deal. Chin, you guys do that? No. Yeah, you don't see Asians doing that.

The wings, big wings, but not eyelashes. Big wings, loud exhaust. No catalytic converter. Yep, neon lights. I saw a girl had eyelashes on her fingernails one time like at the cuticle kind of really that was crazy yeah a lot of interesting stuff out there coming out of the far east i had these fake spinners in high school oh my god we all did that makes sense no we did it dude i I remember one time I was so high and going to school.

In high school? Yeah, I hit this girl with my car. And I hit this – well, one time I hit this girl's car. And I got out, and I didn't know what to do, dude. I was just cooked, bro. And I was like, no way. On weed? Yeah.

High. And I got out, and I was just like, why'd you hit me? It was so obvious that I'd hit this girl. You tried blaming it on her. What were you doing? She's like, I'm parked, dumbass. Bro, it was so crazy, dude. And then another time, I hit the hottest girl under my school with my car in the parking lot.

So a relationship? Oh, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah. Thankfully, I was living with this family that had an attorney in the family, but it was fucking, you know.

She remembers me, though. She remembers me. You know, it's that pickup line, bro. That's the eternal pickup line, hitting somebody with your car,

hot chick. Hot chick. You hit the car, and then what was the pickup line? Every time it rained, she feels in her leg a little daddy. Yeah.

She remembers you, Doug. She remembers daddy in that 84 Ford Escort. Yeah, what remembers you, Doug. She remembers daddy in that 84 Ford Escort. Yeah, what's up, girl? Damn, that car bites. But yeah, those are the good old days, man. You just made me think of this.

In high school, we threw a keg and someone broke the tap. So I had to leave and I got my car, which was parked in the back to go get another one. I had like felt a bump and there was this kid. He had been passed out there and I was this kid he would pat he had been passed out there and it ran over his arm but he's like i'm sorry i'm sorry he just ran off it was like no i'm sorry were you like yeah don't do it again this is totally your fault get out of here stupid kid dude that happened one time we left a 311 concert and we were just

cruising man just oh i bet that was a good night gourd it out of our freaking brains and i drew some drilled some dude at a stoplight it probably probably 30 miles an hour man and it was bad my hood all went all rammed up and everything and i got out and ran up to him and he's like dude i'm so sorry he's like is everybody okay he was just laced out of his brain, just sitting there at the stoplight, had no idea. What was 311's biggest song? They had a ton.

Yeah. Now, remember 311, they thought it was, because the 11th number in the alphabet is K, so they thought it was KKK, 3 number in the alphabet is K so that was KKK 311 oh that's crazy crazy do you ever see a kick some the one who knows about thanks I don't know that song oh they were good man they were good dude is this episode any good or not you think I think it's been really great this is old school Daddy yeah you're the best man you two man gang baby good to see you I'm good to be in here.

Good to be alive. Good to see the guys alive. Nick fucking shedding weight for no reason. That's after dark. But the commitment, I love it, baby. You do look thinner, Nick. I swear to God. He's definitely monkey pot.

It's like that picture in Back to the Future. Yes. Getting leaner and leaner, man. It's going to be scary if I get 155. Go, go. Does your girl like it? No, she hates it. She hates it.

She wants you to be thicker? Yeah. You know what's going on there, right? She don't want you to get all shredded. Start getting them DMs. Keep losing weight, man. The liver hides some. I think she's right. This is where I should be if I'm feeling healthy.

Anything lower than this, I'm starting to get skinny. So we'll get back up. Once we finish, I want to find someone to have a weight gain competition. No, don't get all fat. If I'm 155, though, then I can. You want to be 255? I don't know. That'd be funny.

I get 50 pounds in a month. Easy. I love just the commitment to. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah, for no reason at all. And, Chan, how is your weight loss going? I'm actually gaining weight.

Yeah, it sucks. I didn't take it seriously, but then Nick actually really took it seriously. So I'm like, oh, crap, I got to start losing weight. Now, Chan used to be 300 pounds. Yeah, so I know how to lose weight. That's a good point. But you also know how to gain weight. Yeah.

Sounds like what you're doing right now. And is it okay to be obese or overweight in your culture? Hell no. No. People, no. No, kids, shame the family. Let's put a fucking sword in their stomach. I mean, back in the day, it was good because that means you're rich.

You can have food and all that stuff. You can buy stuff. You're like a Buddha. But not anymore. Yeah. That's crazy, man. Yeah, my dad, when he was a kid, he lived in a village, and he said some of the kids had to eat dirt because they didn't have anything to eat.

Just straight up dirt? Damn. And then we'd get all bloated from it. Your dad grew up rough, huh? I don't know. What's the heaviest you've been? Probably almost one. I would say almost 188.

You little bitch. You never broke the two hondos? You gotta be two-something to do something, son. Damn. You never broke the two hondos no i've thought about it 277 my ultimate high wow playing fucking football in utah i want to slip my wrist in utah yeah i played for arena football out there you did utah blaze oh who'd y'all play out of that boise uh no we play like colorado crush san jose No, we'd play Colorado Crush, San Jose. Bombers, some bullshit.

Making 27 grand. I wanted to slip my wrist. Damn, dude. Was it a tough go, or what was it like? It was a nightmare. I knew I wanted to quit when I talked to the guy who was the star of the team. And he was like, man, hopefully this practice ends soon, man. I got some deliveries to make.

What the fuck? He was the captain of the team, star of the team. He was doing drugs? No, man. He had to get another job. fuck? He's the captain of the team. Star of the fucking- You doing drugs? No, man. He fucking had to get another job. Oh. He was a UPS man on the side. Oh, wow.

He's the star of the league. And who was y'all's quarterback? I forget. Some white dude. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It was a nightmare, though. Oh, the channel says hot sauce snub. The real-

I was just trying to bring up the news. We got Michael Chandler versus Dustin Poirier. It's not confirmed. It's not confirmed? No. But Chandler says that the hot sauce snubbed when I took that hot sauce to his house that time? I don't know. He asked for something and Poirier never sent it to him or something?

I just talked to Chandler about it. He was like, dude, it's all rumors. He's like, you heard shit. I don't see a lot of controversy coming out of Dustin. What did he say? I think we're very similar. He and I have had similar paths, but a small-town kid getting after it. Him saying, hey, instead of finding Chandler, I'd rather sell hot sauce.

Oh, I see. It's good sauce, though. Hell yeah. And he has good whiskey, too. Chris, have you tried his whiskey? Why'd they pick this bourbon? I thought that was Poirier for a second. But why do they have Chandler?

He just got out of prison or something. It's good. It's good bourbon. Yeah. You want to snuck some of the Diamonds Hot Sauce into Michael Chandler's Super Bowl party? Yes, I did. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, yeah.

Throw it in the trash. It's good sauce. If that does get confirmed, you should have him in studio at the same time. That would be fireworks. Chandler and Poirier? Yeah. It'd be hard to get them both in. I would try. No, we could do it together.

You think? You work on Dustin, I work on Chandler. I talk to Chandler every week. But we're going to have to tell him the other one's going to be there. No, we don't tell him shit. They're going to know we're saying it right now. It'd probably be easier in Nashville just because Michael's already there. Fact.

Easy flight for Dustin, too. I wonder if it would be like... What if you did like that guessing game where you had one of them answer questions and you see if the other one had the same answers? Like newlywed game between the two? Just to make them seem like as alike as possible yeah you do like a blind dating thing yeah like you do it like love is blind where they're behind a wall and they just talk to each other and then they become friends love is blind is crazy man

that show's fantastic but a lot of those shows start in asia that's true chin a lot of shows do start in asia the love is blind though? I don't feel like that. I mean, there's certain concepts. Brendan, a lot of culture started in Asia, man. You don't think... Brendan has no concept of it. Bro, you've been hanging out with Koreans for fucking 30 minutes. All of a sudden, you know culture? Asian culture. Chen's been one of my best shows.

Chen, how long have you been working for? Seven years? Six years. Yeah, shut up, bro. That is an inkling in the time period his people have been alive they've been alive for hundreds of thousands of years so has chin though idiot you don't know what you're talking about bro yeah you you took one uber in a fucking mitrabishi eclipse all of a sudden you know korean culture i bet i know what i'm talking about you're an idiot 700 000 years000 years. Wow. Yeah, bro. Educate yourself.

I just said it. No, you said 1,000 years. I said hundreds of thousands of years. No, we said thousands of years. Do you guys have artifacts from a long time ago in your family? You got fossils, too? Like your great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma's fossil, too? No, but we have coins because I guess we're a lineage to a king.

So the king's on the coin. The Yi Dynasty. Okay. Subtle flex. I'm just saying yi dynasty yeah so we have i guess artifacts because didn't they come up with currency they were the first ones with like coins i think chinese came up the chinese did chinese come a lot of stuff a lot of shitty uh shelving units too nothing worse than ikea though that's swedish man A lot of shitty shelving units, too. Nothing worse than Ikea, though, and that's Swedish, man. This is going to be the last one. This guy's a mustache.

What is up, King and the Sting? It's Brady here from southern Alberta, Canada. Just got a debate club for you guys today. Just wondering, do you sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door to protect your girl from intruders or whatever happens? Or do you just sleep on the side that you find the comfiest? Just say, fuck it. Let me know. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.

Soar. Skeletons in witness protection. I think I always sleep, honestly, I sleep butt towards the door. It's my big thing. I don't want somebody coming in and getting my penis or anything or if they shoot me. You hit that ass first? Well, if somebody comes in and stabs you and stuff, I'd rather get stabbed in the ass or shot in the ass or back

than I feel like one of my vital organs. So I'll sleep with penis towards the wall. I'm trying to think. The way our house is set up i guess i sleep away from the door my girl's near the door you know she's mexican so it's kind of like that you're supposed to like walk on the side of the street open the door like it's 1950 i'm supposed to do the laundry what are we doing but where's tate who andrew tate yeah yeah i don't know he's bringing fucking old school shit

back he he's out of his mind though right yeah yeah it's good though yeah he's fantastic i i had like two days where i was consuming a lot of it now i'm over it but uh he's he's fun he's fun some of the clip i don't i've never watched a full show. I just see his clips. Do you guys know who Tom Likas was? No. Yeah, Tom Likas in the mornings. Yeah, he was just this old radio guy, but misogyny was his brand. He's like, you tell that bitch she's got to get in the kitchen. Keep going.

That's what I think of Andrew Tate, except obviously he takes stuff like Escape the Matrix. And Tom Segura put him on, right? Tom Segura blew him up is that fair to say or was he big before tom he helped he kind of like changed his business model like his tate university or whatever anybody who signs up has to post with links back to that and they have to post his clips so he's got like 50 000 people putting up tiktoks with this shit that's brilliant and inescapable and is he a good man i feel like he i feel i i don't know you know what i have no fucking clue how about that but how about also

he's a phenom well logan paul wants to fight him here's the problem he's a legit three-time world champion kickboxer like 73 no yeah that'd be a problem for the paul bros now in general if kickboxers that do just traditional boxing are going to get beat up. So Jake Paul has a chance. What happened to Rahman? He just came in kind of fat? He didn't want to lose it, huh? How do you not lose that weight to get the bag, man?

Some people were saying it was the ticket sales. That's what other people were saying. Dana said it. Of course Dana said it. They're dead wrong. I'm telling you, they're dead wrong. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about my boy frickin' Mike Perry coming up? He's got that bout, huh? When is that? August 20th. Bro, that is August 20th, and we're doing a fight campaign for it, daddy. Wow. Beer knuckle fighting. He's fighting fuckin' Michael Venom Page, bro.

Yeah, Venom Page. Baby, he got the snake on. He got that snake in his arm. Dude, snake in his arm, snake in his pants. Damn, I haven't seen that. But he's got that sneaky, he's got that snake in his arm dude snake in his arm snake in his pants damn i haven't seen that but he's got that sneaky he's got that just sneaky that boy is a savage that little tough fight for your boy mike perry yeah mike is fearless though man and i don't know if you can knock mike out you can i don't know mike van and page can and you know who's the co-main of it is uh fucking page van zant never bad when

she gets sweaty you feel me yeah i used to like all of her pictures on instagram then she got married to a pro fighter she still has uh only fans whatever her own she has she doesn't have her only fan she has her own thing yeah oh wow good for her yeah she's gangster with it you know she's a horror she's a horror she's very resilient oh yeah You know, she's a hard worker. She's very resilient. Oh, yeah. You know? I want to see that Peña Nunez third bout. I was at the first one when Peña won. What do you want to see? The second fight was 10-8 across the board.

If it would have gone eight rounds, I think Peña could have won. I don't want to see it again. You don't? No. I thought it was a great fight. This last one? I thought it was great. Oh, my cuz you just need to educate yourself, dog. You didn't expect that she could win who penya Yeah, so yeah, just she had no fucking she was she'd win a single second of that fight. She didn't give up though

See, that's a problem. That's how you know you get your ass one people got a she tough though You don't as a fighter if the best companies, is she tough, though? You don't, as a fighter, if the best compliment is, man, is she tough, though, or man, is he tough, that means you got your ass beat. Damn. That's still brave to even get your ass beat, though. That's what you sign up for, though, you know? What about Bryce Mitchell? Is he fighting anybody coming up? He'll get a big boy.

He's going to get a big fight next. And who else is in his division? 45. He's in Berger's Row, man. Is he? boy he's he's gonna get a big fight next and who else is in his division oh he he's he's a birders row man is he what i don't want for him is to give him arnold allen that london savage who's undefeated i don't want to see him kill two young lines off i think you'd be i think um if they do if they do their cards right for bryce if they want to be champ. Oh, he's in Volskanovski. I think he would beat Yaya Rodriguez right now. Oh, they got him at dang nine. What about Giga Chicka Aidsy?

I think he would just manhandle it. Molly what? He would throw him around the octagon, I think. Bryce would throw Giga? Yeah. He'd beat the shit out of him. So you'll see how much they like Bryce based off his next match. You'll see if they want him to become their champ.

You know, he's very open with his beliefs on shootings and shit and politics. 135 to 155 is insane. Nuzzles. He called Hunter Biden a drug thot. And I thought that was pretty fire. Bro, how about Hunter Biden because his dick pics got released? He was like, I got body dysmorphia, man. I just want to make sure I had a big dick.

Nine inches, bro. No. Yeah. That's the problem with these fucking elitists, man. All of them. You know, they got that insider trading on them. My thing is, I'm fine if you want to raid Trump's house. You're not going to raid fucking Hunter Biden's house?

All the shit he's doing? There's Hunter Biden right there in that picture. Is that him? Go back. Damn. That does look like stuff he's put out there. Dude, these politicians, wild, man. Nancy Pelosi with them big-ass tits.

What's the name at his flank out last night? Who? Tommy Lee Johnson. Oh, that boy. You know what? I appreciate the reminder. That's Pelosi's yammers? Dude, Pelosi got some fucking White House hitters.

She got them gubernatorial candidates, boy. Damn. Oh, yeah. My God, boy. Them tits will give you some stock advice. Whew. Yeah, she hides them. She got that outsider trading, dude.

Damn, boy. She got them tits. Dude, she's inside her training them tits she hides this whole family all ends up looking the same for sure the kardashians right at one point they all will just look the same yeah hmm oh so they took his picture down with the big dick evidently but you can't dude it's the internet someone screenshot bring that up nick i screenshotted Do you even Do you even internet Nick You know what I'm saying

You can't post your big old dick On Instagram It was up for a long time It wasn't No I didn't see that I'm not that crazy I didn't have Instagram I found out he posts his dick

That thing's thick huh I didn't look at it that much Do you guys want to see it Please do We'll blur it out That's alright What am I looking again I mean but he's older though It's good I didn't look at it that much. Do you guys want to see it? Please do. We'll blur it out. That's all right. Why am I looking again?

I mean, but he's older, though. It's good, you know? It's good. I'm not crazy, though. You know what I'm saying, Doug? I didn't look. It's just on your phone for later. But the tough part is once you see it, you can remember what it looks like.

That's the part that feels gay to me in your brain. You know what's gay to me i'd say every thursday once a week i think about his dick honking the butt the horn on the boat is that gay that made me gay i don't know i didn't see that oh you're not seeing the porno oh my god what are you guys doing with your lives dude yeah and i don't look at the dick in the porno either well you can't miss it dude it's giant if you don't look at it you can miss it easy dude Dude, he hunks the bear with his dick. Classic. That's pretty cool, I guess. Yeah, that's cool. Is that it, Doug?

That's it. Well, I'm gonna pull my dick out because I'm on stage in Appleton, Wisconsin. Well, one night only in Chicago, Den Theater, August 26th. One night only. On the 27th, we have the Thick Mudder in Chicago. Go to toughmudder.com. Sign up on the 27th, we have the Thick Mudder in Chicago. Go to ToughMudder.com. Sign up on the 27th to run that Tough Mudder with me and the Thick Boy crew.

Mark will be there and some other boys will be there. It's the 11 a.m. heat. Use promo code TEAMBRENDON. 10% off. But the comedy show at the Dent Theater on the 26th. And then I am in Appleton, Wisconsin in September, early September. And then I'm in Ontario, California, Ontario Improv. And then I end September in Boston, Laugh Boston.

That bitch almost sold out. Five shows, Laugh Boston. We'll add shows. They sell out soon. Get your tickets at thickboy.com. So Chicago, Appleton, Wisconsin, Ontario, California, and Boston. You up, baby? Yes, and I will be.

Ontario, California, and Boston, you up, baby. Yes, and I will be – and October 12th, I'll be in Wichita. October 13th, Omaha. And then October 14th, Denver, Colorado. We just added a new show there. And you can get tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Just go through there to see you get applicable links that go to fair price tickets. So just,

you know, people will mess you like, dang, these tickets are $600, man. Cause that's somebody's jacking you, dude. Don't get jacked.

Yeah. Be a regular person. Don't get jacked out. Yeah. Don't get jacked out, bro. It's good advice. Yeah.

And what else, man? That's about it. We got a fight campaign for bare knuckle fighting, uh, August 20th. We had a crazy lineup. I'll share that with you. I'm That's about it. We got a fight campaign for Bare Knuckle Fighting August 20th. We got a crazy lineup. I'll share that with you.

I'm so excited about this. That's at 11 a.m. too on a Saturday, 11 a.m. Calabasas Fight Campaign. And then the original fight campaign is coming back. We'll be on Rogan September 3rd. Rogan, Eddie, Tal, and me. Y'all are doing it here? No, we're all going to Austin.

Wow. That's going to be fun. Eddie's going to be in it? Mm-hmm. He just sent me a video today. I didn't look at it yet. He's the best. Love him.

Yeah, miss Eddie. I know, man. I miss Eddie, too. Oh, he's the best. The best. He's just not doing anything, like media-wise? He's making music, and then he got up the other night on stage with Tripoli somewhere. He's just doing his thing.

Still has his academies. 10th Planet crushing. Yeah. Yeah, there's no other Eddie Bravo. There's only one. One of a kind, dog. Gang, gang, baby. So are you, brother.

Buzz, buzz. Thanks, man. Love you guys. Buzz, buzz. Love you. Outro Music