The Golden Hour - Episode 191: Weapons From Grandma

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Brendan gets bullied for not being a nerd and the guys talk Chris being lonely, being codependent, Marvel vs DC, prison TikTokers, working on land vs sea, the best sitcoms ever, who'd they bang if they were girls, all new Relationship Advice and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm the- You're- you're- you're- you're B. Arthur. Yeah, I'm B. Arthur, clearly. 100%, 100%. I got- I- I- I- Brendan's Blanche, cause he's the whore. I'd have to be a Stelgetti. I'd have to be.

I'd have to be. I don't know the characters. Oh my god! That's the oldest one. You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue, there's something about me! You have no idea what you're saying.

Gang gang. Buzz's something about me. You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. So. Oh, you got that McDonald's? I was just going to mention it. Yeah, you doing a shift at Burger King after? No, I was going to be quicker, though, to do that than go somewhere else. So I didn't.

Makes sense. I like the outfit today. You look like you're the cruise ship captain. Aye, aye, captain. Yeah, you look like a cruise ship captain for Trump's Express. I'm Americana, baby. Americana, baby. That hat is dumb.

That hat is great. Oh, I love that hat. That hat is dumb. No, you know what it is? Any hat on your head is dumb. What? Because you don't have a good hat head. Coming in hot.

This hat is good. No, dude. It's like a yarmulke. It's so, your head is so. Oh, wow. I don't see that. No, you know what he looks like? No.

You look like a director. Like doing behind, explaining like. That's cool. You know what we wanted out of this scene was the dragons. Yeah, you look like a director who's just, you know. I look good. You're just not used to it bro change is good and i'm feeling good and i look good don't push me you know you can get this shit at chrisley i hear it there we go what are you gonna do you brought it up you need to start

selling this i do i know you're right are those wings on the hat uh these are just it's americana baby dude this is like yeah it's like a fucking navel i don't know man what's going on with you Are those wings on the hat? It's Americana, baby, dude. This is like a fucking navel. I don't know, man. What's going on with you today? What are you talking about, dude? You're in a mood today. Bro, I'm defending myself.

You guys came in so hot. No, there's a vibe about you today. There's something going on. What is it? I gotta be honest. Is it the hat? There's a thing. Did you wake up a little weird today? Yeah, of... Is it the hat? There's a thing. It's a chill, baby.

Did you wake up a little weird today? Yeah. What's going on? Oh, there's a tea. Do you feel like... I don't know. You know what? Do you feel like storming the Capitol?

You know what it actually maybe is? I had to wake up at 6 a.m. Kristen and Calvin are going to Kristen's friends in St. Louis. And I had to wake up. Poor Calvin. And Calvin's not there. But they're going to meet friends in St. Louis. And I had to wake up. And Calvin's not there, but they're gonna meet me in Dallas on Thursday. But it sucked, because I was really bummed

that I was gonna fly with them. I knew something was up. So maybe it's that. And then I went back to sleep for a few hours. Maybe fucked up your sleep cycle, your REM sleep? Maybe, maybe it's that. But yeah, so I don like like being at home alone i don't like being alone there see i knew i thank you he's off you're off you're macaulay culkin watch though i'm gonna kill it this episode okay yeah but you're getting that weird you know but speaking of alone speaking of

killing it i'm gonna be in la jolla there we go we go. September 9th through the 11th, I'll be in La Jolla. At least you know it now and you're happy about it. Yeah, Milwaukee Improv, 15th through the 17th. I'm going to the Skank Fest. I don't know why, but I am. 14th through the 16th. Skank it up, dog. And Colusa Casino, October 28th.

I haven't done that in a while. That's a fun one. Get my dates out. Oh,usa Casino October 28th. I haven't done that in a while. That's a fun one. Get my dates out. Oh, that's funny you should ask. And I will wear the hat in Appleton, Wisconsin September 8th through the 10th. Then after that, I will be in Ontario, California. Ontario Improv. Then I close September

in Boston. Boston Laugh. Boston is September 29th, October 1st. Yeah, so then I guess I'll be in Dallas tomorrow and Wichita the next day. And then Atlanta, and I have Atlanta and D.C. coming up. Atlanta just sold out. D.C. Wait, all the same tour?

Like, meh? No, I'm going to do Dallas and Wichita and then fly back for a week and a half and then go to do Atlanta and then Washington, D.C. and then Savannah, Georgia. And then like this, you know. Do you stay out when you do that kind of stuff?

No, I come back. That's what I'm saying. Every time, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People have to stay out. I'm acting like we're Guns N' Roses or some shit. Right.

Well, I don't know. For three months. Well, you're just like, and then I'm in Atlanta and D.C. No, I shoot on over to Europe. No, I come back, dude. I know, but don't say shoot on over because then I figured it was like. Did I say shoot on over? I felt like you did.

All right. I'll have to go back and look on over? I felt like you did. All right. I'll have to go back and look. Somebody, I'll have to scrub back and look. But then I guess I'll be in Dallas tomorrow and Wichita the next day. And then Atlanta and I have Atlanta and DC coming up. Atlanta just sold out. Yeah, dude. Anyway, so I'm doing this shit and I'm fucking, you know, I can't wait to get out there, bro.

I'm not buying it. Yeah. You think I don't want to get out there, bro. I'm not buying it. Yeah. You think I don't want to get out there? You're a good actor too. I won't be alone. I won't be alone. Hey, Chris, hold up. Chris, you acting right now?

Yeah, what's going on with you, dude? You pretending to be happy? My God. I'm feeling good. Rips his mask off. Yeah, I'm good. Dude, I'm going and bringing Calvin and Chris.

I told you they're meeting me in Dallas. I heard you. And then- Have you brought Calvin on stage on something big? Phoenix, yeah. Oh, wow.

How was that? Great picture. I can't even think about it without just like, I mean, it was so great. It was so special. This is what it is. What?

His wife and kid are like, he feels their absence. I do. That's what it is. I'll come over and kid are like, he feels their absence. I do. That's what it is. I'll come over. We're here for you. Thank you. Hey, hey, hey. We're here.

Hey, I'll bring my sleeping bag. But am I, but so. We got chin here. I'll bring my sleeping bag. But what about like. Take one of my kids. Let's just barbecue. Let's go to his place.

We'll barbecue. I don't know. I don't know if I've ever used to be like that, you know? But like now I feel like, I literally feel like my family is so my nucleus and shit. Oh, dude. I'm with you. When they're not there, it's like, what did I used to do? Yeah.

I have no idea what I did before kids. No clue. I have no time. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't, but, like, is that, so it's normal, I guess. Yeah, yeah, of course. Because I talk to people that are like, yo, I can't wait to get away from the fucking family. They don't mean that.

You don't think they do? No. They don't mean it. This is something you say. You think? Some do, though. I think if you're like strict nine to five schedule and you're with fam, then, you know, with the boys going to Vegas to play golf or some gay shit.

But with us, it's like, with us, it's like, you know, you stand up, we're out at night, so it's just different. Tiger Woods just went like this. What's the gay shit? I'm just saying. You know what the guys do. Happy hour or some shit. No, I feel like I think that people say that when they just are saying they're looking forward to doing this thing that they haven't done in a while.

But for the most part, I think people that are family people – like I just got married and I'm always thinking about what I want to do with Rachel and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, so I get you. All right, all right. Kyric from Rhode Island here again, and I got a King of the Sting for you guys. Grateful Dead tea? We're talking older television shows. None of that cuda shit.

None of those new shows. No Stranger Things. None of that. I'm talking things that are like 10 15 years old tutors now we talk things up that alley don't say tutors and uh the reason i'm wondering is because when you watch them you really can't like talk to anybody about them the way you could if you were watching something that's trending on netflix or something right um i do anyway though that's. When you guys think about it. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Woo, woo. We're soaring.

I can't. I watched the Tudors. So obviously he listens to my podcast because I've talked about it. I watch the Tudors. I've never even heard of it. I'm into the Tudors. And it's fine. I hope on your podcast you're mentioning that you're watching the Tudors because of my recommendation. You did recommend it, didn't you?

I forgot about it. Of course you forgot about it. Because when you were, congratulations, just like. Me, me, me, me, me. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm guest. Thank fucking Christ, dude. But there's certain shows you can still kind of talk about, but you can't get into details because it's so long ago.

Like, you can reference some, like, major shit, like the last episode of The Sopranos or fucking. Breaking Bad. Or if you're going old school like say by the bell like when jesse took too many caffeine pills big moment yeah i saw i went i was in uh i went to my cousin's wedding and we were at um we were in seattle we had an airbnb me my mommy my daddy and uh kristen and calvin and dude and a, and a few spiders. And, dude, there was – we watched Golden Girls and Friends and Seinfeld. We had a fucking blast. Golden Girls is one of the funniest sitcoms ever. I think it might be the best sitcom ever.

You know what? It's Mount Rushmore for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if someone said Seinfeld, okay. But, bro, Golden Girls, man, thank you for being a friend. Boom, boom, boom, boom, traveling around the world and back again. You know the original song? That's not the original.

That's a remake of the song. Oh, well, this is better. Oh. Perfect Strangers. Perfect Strangers? No, Perfect Strangers? strangers? No perfect strangers? Nobody? It was all right.

Do you know what I hate doing most after a party? Trying to find your underwear in the big pile. You're being a fucking hater, bro. Yeah. God, I'm so much younger than you guys. Here we go. This is strictly off the record, but Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am. I like that one.

She's a cunt all the time. And right, Blanche, dog ears. What was your first impression? Okay, if we were go-to girls, I'm clearly... You're who? You're B. Arthur. Yeah, I'm B. Arthur, clearly. Brendan's

Blanche. He's the whore. I'd have to be a Stelgetti. I'd have to be. I'd have to be. I don't know the characters. That's the oldest one. I'm the oldest one? No no

Chris is the oldest one You know Fun fact She is Not the oldest one on the show Yeah yeah yeah The actress Yeah she was

She was just playing older Holy crap That's a wig and all that What other shows Did you fuck with that I would know Jefferson's Jefferson's

Play Andrew Baxter Good times. No one watched TGI Friday? We're talking step-by-step, full house? No, I was watching the black stuff. Oh, you don't use a black belt like Friday? And then he got in trouble for domestic violence. First of all, there's no better theme songs than Good Times and the Jefferson's. Look up Andrew Baxter.

Thank you for being a friend. That was the guy who, I don't i don't this version is so hilarious bro thank you for being a friend we want to listen to it is that santino That's their deal, bro. Bad friends, bro. Me in the back. Me in the back.

Oh, there's me in the back. That's Theo on guitar. Wow, this guy. He rocks, dude. He rocks. He's got your nose. Not anymore, I fixed it. And the card attachments say,

thank you for being a friend. I don't trust this guy. This is one of the illest songs, dude. It's so simple, but gets right to it. Yeah. Thank you for being a friend. Yeah. Yeah.

It's kind of like, you down with OPP? You know? I feel like back then it was so much more funner. I think I didn't have social media. He cares. Just playing the jams. Fucking chicks. Okay. It was wild 70s probably when

is this funner what is this more fun more fun when is this nick uh thursday what no i'm not no i know no i'm saying when was this video oh when was he jamming like this 1970 78 okay dude you have the the the of Famer serial killers popping right there, too. So you're kind of scared, jamming to music, hooking up with chicks. It was mystery. Yep. People were just doing that free love thing. Yeah, because he's clearly Betty White because she was the dumb one.

Oh, wow. You know what I mean? Yeah. We actually are great golden girls. Oh, cool. It's Darren Till. Or like a cute version of Mark, right? We have a younger version.

Mark's still cute. He cuts all his stupid hair off. Oh, you don't like the hair? The silver long, silver surfer? Yeah, looking like the freaking lion from Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Original. Oh, you're the hater.

That's the cute version of Mark. Yeah, this is the cute version of Mark. Jesus Christ. And he's ugly. I was going to say. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if this is the opposite. This is you upgraded right here.

We've got some great submissions today, some crazy characters, and a couple we're going to Zoom in live who have, like, insane stories that they want help with. Let's take a little break from the boys. Chris is taking a booper. So I'm here to run the ads for you guys. Listen, college football is back, fam. It's my favorite time of the year.

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In Tennessee, call or text the Tennessee Red Line at 1-800-889-9789 in new york call 8778 hope ny or text hope ny 467369 one per new customer minimum five dollar deposit wager 200 issued as 825 free beds that's draft kings promo code k-a-t Right. Well, I watched a little bit of Lightyear just to put it on. Buzz? Terrible. The one, yeah. Terrible. Because my son goes, that one.

That's what he says whenever one comes out. He says, that one. You wasted your money. You wasted your money. No, no, no. It was streaming, right? It's on Disney Plus right now. Yeah, it's on Disney Plus now.

Oh, wait. Yeah, we didn't go. So I went and I was there and I watched it about two, three scenes and he checked out and I was like, yeah, I get it. I'm kind of into it. But like as an adult, but I just bounced out of it. No, it's boring. The whole storyline is boring. I don't know.

You watched it? No. So the guy. I know. No, no, no, no. No, they took Tim Allen out of it. I'm out. I'm out.

So Captain America's Buzz Lightyear now and you two are okay with this? You're the problem. No, listen. Okay, first of all, let me explain this to him right now. Let me explain this to him right now. Toy Story? The character of Toy Story? Tim Allen

is the toy. I get it. This movie is about the real Buzz Lightyear. Now that is compartmentalizing. I'm just saying, if you're going to get it right. But that voice should be Tim Allen. This motherfucker doesn't know the difference between Matrix power and Jedi power.

I don't want to start with him. He thinks the Matrix and the Jedi is the same shit, so I'm out on his shit. So fuck him, and fuck him. They don't know. They don't know. I did a joke about Keanu Reeves, and if I had those powers, then he was like, you know, actually, the difference is.

No, because you went like this. Because you went like this. You were like as if Neo, okay. You know what? Let's see. Can we see cute Mark already? Cute Mark once. Can't even hear.

Of course, Nick's never ready. It's like Nick comes in at night and messes with all the shit. Someone does. He moves the cameras. I don't touch anything. He fixes the different. He gets it ready at work, and then we talk more, and messes with all the shit. Someone does. He moves the cameras. I don't touch anything. He fixes the different. He gets it ready. It works.

And then we talk more. And then he. Yeah, that's not right. Yeah, it was ready to go. And now it's not. Yeah. Or someone's sabotaging it. I think that the cleaning crew comes in.

Me? The cleaning crew comes in and they mess with the things. That guy. He didn't put the. Oh, that guy. No, it's definitely us. Sorry, we'll figure it out. That's right.

You got this. Nick has to walk. I don't wear Crocs. He needs to walk over here during the show. Hey, Nick. He has to. Oh, that guy. No, it's definitely us. Sorry, we'll figure it out. That's right. You got this. Nick has to walk. I don't wear Crocs. He needs to walk over here during the show. Hey, Nick. He has to. It's his thing. I would rather you fuck up the audio than wear Crocs with jeans.

I'm doing both today. He has on Crocs with jeans? Are you living in your car again? I feel sick. Again. Yeah. I moved here. I'm a car.

Yeah, he lived in his car for a second. Wow. Yeah. Hot shit. That's when he had a real bad gambling issue. Rich Whites Unite! Ironically, not gambling when I was living in my car. Oh, let me see that one.

I've had this for a hot second. Ooh, it's nice and shiny. There we go. Nothing changed. All right, let's do it. Okay. What's up, guys? I'm Tyler.

I'm 18 from Detroit. Got the bait club for you guys. If you were born with action figure hands, stuck in the same position forever, What's up, guys? I'm Tyler. I'm 18 from Detroit. Got a debate club for you guys. If you were born with action figure hands, stuck in the same position forever, what position would you put your hands in? Thanks, guys. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, sore. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

Not bad. Yeah. What a good question, especially since we were talking about it. Yeah, we're talking about this. We know this. We know Erickson. No, you're fucking ass. Remember Mr. I want my legs instead of my arms? Oh, yeah.

I still believe that wholeheartedly. Yeah. You guys are out of your fucking minds. I guess you got to, like, do you want it to be like where you can always still grab your dick? I mean, dude, come on. You know, you get others to do that. You forego this grip and you just. Yeah, but you can still get your.

Do you want more of like a. You can get a good handle with a spoon on the end and you can still Yeah, but you can still get your... Do you want more of like a... You can get a good handle with a spoon on the end and you can still eat. Do you know what this guy wants? Just this? Or like, am I just hugs? There's only one answer to this and it's this. This? You want this.

Oh, so you can grab that ass. You can grab certain things and still kind of manipulate them. What can you grab? Okay. Okay. This is going to be you with your phone. You can't talk to your kid anymore because you can't. All right, check it out.

First of all, I'm there present with my kid, okay? He's gone right now. How are you going to FaceTime him? You go like this? Your fingers are bending. Yeah. No, they're not, dude. No, you can't move anything.

We can't see. We can't see. What about this? Yeah. Let's see. No, no, no, dude. Yeah, they are. No, you can't move anything. We can't see. We can't see. What about this? Yeah. Let's see. No, no, no. What are you, one of those machines? It hooks on.

It hooks on, dude. And then I still drink my coffee. So I got to. So you want to be like a. Killer shit. This, this. So you want to be this. It's got to be somewhere.

I like thumbs up all the time. Where your mouth is. No, no. I like it to be like. I want it to be like that. I want to be like. You can still eat a ho. I like thumbs up all the time. Where your mouth is. No, no. I like it to be like. I want it to be like that. I want to be like. You can still eat a hoagie that way. Because you can get your phone.

Look at that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We haven't heard, Brendan. Brendan would just be this. Just the whole time. He couldn't move his arms ever. No, it's only this. This.

You can go like this. Hacksaw Jim. Like Hacksaw. Is it the whole arm? Or what can go like this. Hacksaw. Is it the whole arm? This is Hacksaw. That's Hacksaw. And me and him have the exact same body, so that's cool. Anyways. I would have picked the same as Chris because I had the action figure.

It was just this, and you could pick up a 2x4. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, because you need to pick up a 2x4. Your hands. Kingston crew. What up? pick up a two by four hands king instinct crew what up this is uh cellmate three seven seven four seven nine eight well he's like hey just taking a break from shooting intervention real quick hold on uh he's a convict is he i think he's joking okay coming at you hot front. No, I'm just fucking with you, dude. I'm fucking...

I knew you were going to clown me for it. Anywho. No, I'm just actually chilling here in my beautiful hometown of Port Lincoln. And just had a quick fucking debate club for you. Because we're one of the biggest importers exporter like grain and tuna and uh yeah had a good gaze it silos boats beautiful whatever ah would you rather work on land or at sea hmm let me watch y'all gang. Gang gang buzz buzz. So. He might need to check on like if he has like cancer.

I think that was like a person maybe had like a thing inserted. I don't know. Oh, that's weird. Got a little bump right here. Did he say Portland? Port Lincoln. It's in Australia. Oh, I thought it was Portland. He's just doing like that Johnny Depp accent.

No, no, no. And what prison would we think he's in that he's got a cell phone that he could just do a video dude i think they have they do they have tic tacs cell phones but that's my question how do they get cell phones what's the deal with that no i don't know you never seen 60 days in no through the ass baba i really like how brendan looked Brendan laughed at you like, you idiot. Dude, sneaking shit into the prisons? It's as old as time, Dan. No, I know that, but don't they check their anus? No, no, no, no.

They don't? Not if you get up and ride them. Not all the time. Maybe it's like a spot check. So you take it. Like somebody comes in. You know what they do too, too, is drones. They'll drone it over or they'll have someone in the yard and they'll throw it over the

gate. Or the majority of it comes from the security guards. Because they pay them big buckaroos. That makes sense. But how do they get the money to pay them? The outside family pays the security guard and they smuggle it in. And then so they just hook into the internet? Or I guess they have self-service.

Yeah, the self-service. That's fucking insane. Wow. Dude, technology keeps changing so much. These prisoners are going to be out of there in no time. They're going to be setting up holograms and they're just going to be fucking gone. And they've got followings on TikToks when they get out. Followings?

They're famous, bro. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. They're famous. People are monetizing from prison? Yeah. It's kind of lit. Welcome to Prison TikTok.

This is a stage stove. It's a Lisa Lee thing or whatever. We have a melted hot pot. So we make our hot water in the morning for our coffee. The lives of incarcerated people that were once hidden are now going viral thanks to the younger generation. No, it's never hidden. I'm so hyped up about it. They get to see what it's like behind the wall.

It's like a whole other world. Kevin Smith is one of dozens of people who have posted their prison experiences on the platform. Something to do. Now, we're seeing the daily meals. That was a good trade that I posted. The trays that are in there that are so gross, like, it'll run away from you before you eat it. Well, don't commit a crime. Right?

It just feels bad for them. Like heating up hot water. We're good. I mean, I'm with you on that 100%. But at the same time, I'm like, okay. You believe this, Brad? There's mold on it. Bro, you killed seven people.

Still. Okay. I don't know how to feel. It's mind-blowing that there's TikTok in prison. Yeah. Isn't it cool? Ha ha ha, bro. Oh, I like the ones where the...

You know what? I'm with you. This is making me feel like, do I need to get off TikTok? Yeah. Or you're viewing it the wrong way. Or you guys need to step your game up, daddy. How so? Our resident salesperson, of course.

Do you step your came up, bro. Yeah. Dude, my favorite time there is when they have an inmate for whatever reason he fucked up or stole and they treat him like a dog. You haven't seen this? They came around the fucking cell thing. Yeah. A guy?

Oh, yeah. Dude, it's wild in there. But why did they do that? Because he stole something. He's just, you know, he holds people's pockets and sucks the homies off. Dude, are you guys from 1994? No, I just don't like hearing about this stuff. Dude, it's like Shawshank, but without Morgan Freeman.

There's no red helping you out. It's just a nightmare. So they get busy living with TikTok. Whoa, dude, that's mind-blowing. Get busy living or get on TikTok. So this guy's saying work at land or sea. So I pick land, dude. I pick prison.

I don't want to be fucking bouncing around on a fucking boat, not taking a real shower. Well, your Navy hat would beg to differ. Yeah. He just said beg the differ, by the way. I'm just, come on. It's beg to differ. And Captain America has superpowers. No, he doesn't.

He's on steroids. That's a superpower. Okay, then I'm Captain America. Hey guys, give me a shield. Let's see if it fires back. He has better. Okay. I can get more shit.

Your low rent steroids are not the same as you know did you see how he looked before he took the steroids he was like you know normal soldier he was like what's his name like you need a shit he was puny and then he took the thing and he turned out you know what i mean now you can find it okay thank you i miss my son i like these glasses in the wing and the saying that is mouthful. I love you guys. I'm a Patreon. And I have a quick question for you. What do you do if your husband doesn't make you laugh?

It's always been an issue in our relationship. Leave that motherfucker. Kill him. He's like so high up there for me. I watch you guys. Well, you married him. So I have pretty high standards. So, and he's not funny but anyways i feel like it's

starting to get to us because both of us are just so different and when we say a joke it doesn't deliver the way that we want it to to each other so maybe we're not very seen um i know the real problem and yeah i think it's starting to get to us poison Poison them. What can we do to fix that? Is there any way to fix that? Is it changeable? Or is it just how it's going to be for the rest of our life? All right. Thanks, guys. And I love you all.

Bye. Turn on an Adam Sandler movie. No, no, no. That's why this shit exists. No, no, no. The problem is she watches this show, okay? Right. And then she's like, oh, you can be funny and handsome? You know what I'm saying? She's looking like, oh, you can be funny and handsome? You know what I'm saying?

She's looking like, oh, man. She's like, Eric checks all the boxes. You can be cute, tall, manly, and be funny? So the problem is I need to see what her husband looks like because I think that's the real issue. It's not just his sense of humor. She's probably like, oh. Yeah, but also you knew this. That's what you signed up.

Or was he kind of funny when you were dating and you've taken the light from him? of humor she's probably like oh yeah but also you you knew this going that's what you signed up or or or was he kind of funny when you were dating and you've taken the light from oh that's a really good there's that does happen where she just took sucked like a vampire sucked all the life out of my man seemed like a tough crowd too like her husband was talking and she's all giving him the light i don't know if she's a tough crowd she just wants to laugh she wants to laugh if you want to laugh you're not a tough crowd maybe he's just just boring as shit, but here's the thing. You find the intricacies and the funny stuff. If you're not going to laugh with him, laugh at him.

Sorry, it's not there, bro. It's not there. I'm with you. It's not there. That's why she's talking like this. She's like, yeah, he's just not funny. He's obviously going to see this and be like, what the fuck? But also, he's not because he's boring.

If you're funny, you can figure out a way that somebody else is funny and laugh at them. No, professional. She's got to say it. You disagree with that. Because she's – this is what I'm saying. She probably lives in a small place. Where is she from? Did she say where she was from?

She's in some small place, and she thinks like, oh, this is the funniest guy in town. And then she turns on her thing, and she's like, oh, look at these guys. She might be right. She's from Bronx, New York. That's cool. No, she's not. No, she's definitely not. No, but also, it could be they're just growing. It happens, man.

Maybe you got married 10 years ago and you just grow apart. How about this? Let's help the guy because he's probably watching too. He probably wants to kill himself because he just, you know what I mean? It's terrible. You know what I mean? His wife is like... Or he's like, my side piece finds me hilarious. How about that, bitch? You know who thinks I'm funny?

Your sister. Well, your mom thinks I'm hilarious. What do you got, Nick? We're going to bring in one of our guys. What's up, Andrew? How's it going, boys? Hello. What's up, dog?

Hi. Oh, you know, just out here looking for love. Oh, yeah. Let us help you out man Alright, well, so we got a debate club Which is the worst way to go out because these two last ones have happened to me recently Your girl leaves you for her stepbrother or Her crazy act shows up and attacks you with a hammer or her crazy ex shows up and attacks you with a hammer.

Okay, the first one is better because you don't get to get hit by a hammer. And then also, that has nothing to do with you. Dude, if she's going to go out with her stepbrother, she's got issues that have nothing to do with you. Yeah. Oh, and they now have a baby. Okay, well. Oh, boy.

That's not illegal. It is frowned upon in society now as the guy that attacked you with the hammer did the girl the girl oh oh the girl attacked you with the hammer no no no it was her ex oh yeah her ex attacked you with the hammer but did you stay with the girl and did you fuck him i mean for the night just so she could take care of me then i had to get out of there we have another graphic image we're going to bring up. Here's him after the hammer attack. Trigger warning. Oh, my gosh.

How hot was she, though? Oh, my God. He hit you in the eye with the hammer. Multiple times. Multiple times. Yeah, obviously. And where's the guy? Right now, we're building the case. You know, trying to do some police work. Show him the pic. Yeah, obviously. And where's the guy? Right now we're building the case, you know, trying to do some police work. Show them the pic.

Wow, dude. I did. They didn't do much right away. Now, did he just jump like blindside and hit you in the face? Or what was going on here? I was upstairs in the apartment and he slammed on the door and he kind of banged the door down and just came upstairs. And he smashed out my windows in my car, too. Jesus bigger dude or what are we talking about here a little bigger i tried to hit him with that hard scarf but wasn't having it yes when did this happen about three

weeks ago oh wow you feel up good my man i know i got i got a little bit of the blood i still but it's not bad shit you heal up fast. Like Wolverine. And your teeth. That's fucking thank God, huh? I know. I couldn't have lost those babies. Yeah.

And what did your girl say about this? She's like, I'm sorry, he's crazy? Pretty much. Yeah, well, he is crazy. Is she still with him? She went to the cops with me, so I guess she's on my side. And do you still talk to her i try not to i think you know maybe we don't need to be involved in each other yeah i would have to see how hot she

is no dude there's no hotness level brothers least least bad what's that the stepbrothers least bad that's what you're saying yeah yeah pretty easy i'm curious that the stepbrother's least bad that's what you're saying yeah yeah pretty easy i'm curious about the stepbrother when when did your ex and the stepbrother when when did they become like if they're like 22 and their parents married it's a little yeah if they grew up since they're like two that's strange yeah okay ah damn it see now you guys aren't going to be on my side then no they were pretty older when it happened Oh no, we're still on your side Yeah, we're on your side regardless

Yeah, as long as this picture's up on the screen, I'm on your side Oh, this is awful You know what I mean? Thank you Now I hate him Yeah, I hate him too Well, where are you located? Maybe we can give your Instagram Maybe we can have some girls hit you up Who won't have guys attacking you.

I need a normal girl. Huh? I'm about two hours north of Sacramento. And what's your Instagram? It's Andrew Stone with two underscores in front of it. Underscore, underscore, Andrew Stone. I mean, maybe I could connect you with a jiu-jitsu gym to defend yourself or some shit. No, just send him a hammer or a shield. Well, I mean, maybe I could connect you with a jujitsu gym to defend yourself or some shit. No, just send him a hammer or a shield.

Well, I mean, stop. My grandma keeps sending me weapons from Amazon. Wow. That's dope, though. That sounds like a fucking Lifetime movie. Yeah. My grandma keeps sending me weapons from Amazon. But they're like old school weapons.

It's like an axe. One's a crossbow. I got a billy club and a stun gun. Your grandma's a little late, bro. It sounds like he's a 1950s English police officer. You got a billy club? So the guy was just jealous. Yeah, what set this off?

Yeah, what happened here? He got word that her friend took her home from the bar, told her that I was coming over. So he got words. Bad friend. Bad friend. Yeah. And yeah, so he came over with said hammer.

Wow. Well, glad you're okay. Yeah. And how long have you been dating this chick? We dated for about a year. Okay. That's a long time. So you were with her for a year.

And then finally you guys broke up and then you were still trying to smash. Yep. And she was with the other guy, right? Careful what you wish for. So you were trying to get her. Oh, well. So you're kind of. Nah, fuck that, dude.

You don't get hit with a hammer. No, no, no, I get it. I get it, but at the same time, it's like, you had your shot, bro, and she's mine now, and he hammered you. You're dancing with your devil, bro. Yeah, you're dancing with the devil. Yeah, dance with a hammer. It's a scary devil. Well, thanks, man.

That was super depressing. We're sorry, brother. Yeah, hopefully that doesn't happen again, man. This is a success story. You came out alive. That's good. I mean, you could have died, bro. Yeah, you know it.

But he didn't go to jail instantly? Big fans. You didn't call the cops right away? Well, anyway. What's three weeks from now? Three weeks from now, he's FaceTiming us from prison. He's like, hey, man. My grandma actually sent me a real weapon.

I killed him. He's huge on TikTok. He's big on TikTok. Here's my soup that I like to make. Here's the hammer I use. I brought it into my anus. Well, thanks, Andrew. Good luck, brother. Sorry, man. All right. Here's the hammer I use. I brought it in with my anus. Well, thanks, Andrew. Good luck, brother. Sorry, man. Alright, thanks, boys. Big fans. Love you guys.

Later, brother. The only thing there is, so it was the dude's girlfriend, really. That girl sucks, then. Yeah, that girl sucks. Yeah. But you did sleep with his girlfriend. Yeah. Hammer's insane, though. Hammer?

You know who's got to feel bad is the friends who are just trying to start shit. People that are just trying to start shit, and then look what they caused. I know. Mind your fucking business. This is Joseph. What's up, Joseph? What's going on, Brennan? Good to see you guys.

Good to see you, brother. How you doing, man? I forgot it was live. Hi. Yeah. This is I forgot it was live. Hi. Yeah. This is crazy that this is live. I'm doing good. Where are you going from, man?

I'm in Valdosta, Georgia, but I'm from Tallahassee, Florida. Nice. Shout out. Nice, brother. Are you with that top on? You're like an exterminator? What's going on here? No, I'm actually a

Superintendent for a building contractor. I build a bunch of houses way off or in Georgia and Yeah, so that that's where I'm at right now. I'm at a construction site Oh, wow, my amigos back here framing nice. Yeah yeah kind of just sitting in the truck kind of had the easy job um that's cool brother what's going on man how can we help you you're king in the sting or king of their stinger for us oh you got you have an animal that's crazy so i actually happen to have um two animals oh sick so i found these little guys yesterday say hi in a pile of trusses um on my job site and the crane was about to lift the trusses on the house so they were going to get crushed oh wow so what's crazy is like right before that i found like a nest of baby squirrels i've never seen it before

and i put the baby squirrel somewhere that was that i thought was safe and i came back like 20 30 minutes later in a swarm of ants devoured oh my god so me out spook me and so like 10 minutes later, I find these little little bundles of joy right here. And I couldn't I couldn't bring it upon myself to, you know, leave them. So the debate club is, do you do what I do and hide them in your work truck? Hope your boss doesn't find them and fucking bottle feed them safety. Or do you do you let Mother Nature sort it out and just kind of leave them somewhere you think is safe? I don't know.

I haven't found a shelter for them yet, so I don't know what to do with them, and I can't keep them in the house. So they're just kind of chilling with me all day for now. That's kind of cool, man. God bless you. Also, if you left them, you know, they don't have a mama, so there's no milk or nothing, man.

So they're going to die for sure. Yeah, or if she found them, she could reject them. You know what I mean? So I just figured I would take them. You know, the mother rejects. Sometimes the mother rejects the thing. Once they've been touched by human hands, the mother will reject. I'm still tripping on the ants.

It just lets me know. What kind of ants got up there, man? If ants were the size of dogs, like that size, they'd be running shit. You never move any kind of nest, man. If you move a nest, that nest is fucked. Dude, have you seen Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? That big ant? Problem.

But look, that's your reference for... Name another ant movie where humans are tiny. Oh, my God. All right, so, yeah, I think you're doing the right thing, dude. I mean, you know, you can't keep him in your house for whatever reason, which, you know, we respect. But, like, you know, you have him all day and you're doing your thing. You know, you're hiding him from your boss, which I don't know if you need to hide him

from your boss. Yeah. Tell your boss to be cool. But also, why can't you keep him at your house? I think you have two cats now is what this issue is. Yeah. You might be right, Eric. I might have two cats yeah um so i

have a yeah okay by the way this one is a little i don't know if you can see her eyes she's a little crossed i don't think you can see oh that is dope you got to take you got to go get shots and stuff for those cats man you got to take them to the go to get them checked out. You know what I'm saying? You have two cats now. Are you married? I just got engaged two weeks ago, actually. Does she know about these cats yet? Here's what you do.

You go all the way to the bottle. You should have said, hey, engagement present, two cats. Then you look like a hero. To the cats and to her. Dude, we both just kind of started a new job. I have a dog. It's also a way to let her know, hey, look how much I like pussy. Aggressive.

Aggressive. Woo! Thank you for being a friend. I mean, I'll just leave him in your car, man. Let him grow up. Can we name them right now? Do you name them? Yep.

Oh, my God. Please. Please. I don't have any names. It's one boy, one girl? Yeah, this is the girl. She's kind of like a little cheetah print. Yeah, they're sweet looking.

This is a boy. If I was allergic to cats, I'd take it. Theo should be the boy. You can have him. Where's Theo at? He can have him where's the uh he can have him no name him theo oh yeah yeah he's so different with some cats they are cats um cats cats cats um cats in the wild dude yeah legit you found those in the wild wow straight up those are cute as shit they are cute yeah little they are. Get their shots, keep them, and then fucking, you know, if it works, it works.

Oh, bro, flip them. Flip them. Make some money. Flip them. I say name that guy one Theo, and we come up with a name for the girl. All right, so Theo and what? Theo and anybody? One's Theo.

Brenda? Theo and Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. Yeah, Theo and Brenda. There you go. That is a horrible tag. Theo's Theo. Brenda. Theo and Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. Yeah, Theo and Brenda. There you go. Brenda's a horrible cat name. Theo's a good cat name. No, I like Brenda.

Even the guy said no. He was like, no. Come on. Brent, Theo, and Brenda. I love that. Brenda sounds like my lesbian daughter who plays softball. All right. Well, thanks, man.

Appreciate you. Thanks, brother. Thanks for saving those cats, man. That's really cool. Yeah. You got two cats now. Tell your lady. I appreciate it. Appreciate you, brother. Thanks, brother. Thanks for saving those cats, man. That's really cool. Yeah, you got two cats now. Tell your lady. I appreciate it. Love you guys.

Take care. Take care, brother. All right, speaking of Brenda, we've got another debate club. He's still on, and now it's just awkward. We've already said goodbye. If you don't address him, no one knows. What if he just starts being the shit out of cats? I still love you guys.

He's like, fucking cats. Get off my shit. We get off we still go ahead he just throws him out the window He takes him by the scrub. Yeah, get the fuck Goes to the passenger seat years. Here's your cat's back and it's just somebody's cat Somebody sitting there. Here's the next debate club No, this one's not good. What's up? Can you missing crew? I got a quick suck it or fuck it for y'all. That's a new one. Which one of your co-stars or even yourself would you smash if you were a girl, bro? I already rendered the pictures and all that shit.

I'm going to send them over and y'all let me know. Y'all looking pretty good. I don't like this because he used a very bad one for me. No, I'm just kidding. Gang gang, buzz buzz. This is not good, what he did. Okay, I don't think I saw it. Yeah, you didn't see it?

I haven't seen it. All right. So this is chicks? All I'm saying is this. Theo. You got that ass? Theo's a bad bitch. Is that it?

That's just fucked up. Oh, yeah. That's chin? That doesn't even look like me. Well, that's just chin. I would get a massage from this person. You'd wear that too, Chin.

Oh, feel bad. Honestly, that looks like Eric's pipe. That's Eric's pipe. Bro, dude. I'm in. Nope. Bro. Dude. I'm in. Yeah, yeah. Bros. Nope. Nope.

Nope. I think that's good. Nope. Why not? Are you kidding me? That's Brenda. She looks big, though. That bitch plays softball. Brenda, bad bitch.

Me and Dino. Are you kidding me? I'd say both of those are pretty good. Are you kidding me? This one's crazy. No. That's Chris. He looks like a woman. You can't even tell.

I look like the fucking woman from Walking Dead. What's in the first season? Dude, you look like Bruce Willis' daughter. Yeah, rumor. Who's that? That's me. Oh, that's you. Okay, Nick.

I think it's me or Theo, if I'm going to be honest. But the best one. You know what I mean? I mean, I look to be honest. But the best one. You know what I mean? I mean, I look pretty hot. I see. This is the best one. Brendan. It's not the best one.

Like, I'm Maya Rudolph. All of a sudden, I'm Maya Rudolph. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I mean, I am so. I got to be precious? I got am so... I gotta be precious? I gotta be light-skinned precious? But that person is so annoying, whoever that is.

Oh, fuck off. That's your auntie right there. What are you talking about? She thinks she's really funny. Okay, Nick, you're fired. You are. You could have picked a better picture. I didn't do it. Unbelievable.

Fucking dying. Holy shit. Holy fuck. I was not ready for that. Unbelievable. Boy, we some bad bitches. Yeah. Jesus Christ, man.

Holy fuck. That's sex and the pity right there this one is that's Kayla Harris that is intense intense that's just me dressed up as a woman

is it oh I didn't know that oh that's fucking hilarious you're pretty alright Mark that's fucking hilarious. You're pretty. Mark, that's an actual picture? Why are you dressing like that? He did it for this.

He's like, isn't that what you guys did? Check out, Brendan's really rethinking the whole relationship right now. There's going to be a meeting after this podcast. I mean, it's insane. That's in this Thick Boy Studios bathroom. Yeah. Holy shit.

Wow. I'm outraged by my picture. Your shit is hilarious. There's better pictures of me that he could have used. That was so funny, man. What a great fucking. Was it suck it or fuck it?

He fucked you up, bro. What's up, guys? This is Preston from Flying V Farms in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Hello. Nick Chin. Thank you guys for keeping the show going. Theo, Brendan, man, you guys started it. You're great.

Chris, Eric. Oh, man, the four of you guys are dynamic together i love watching the show now anyway y'all can rip my drip on this heisenberg hitter but the real reason i called was getting high on your own supply king it or sting it i king it that's real that's that real sticky icky, dude. That's that purple dream. That's that fucking chocolate tie, dude. Are these still weeds? I heard them in rap songs in the 90s.

I was about to say, like, what are you doing? Chocolate tie? Hey, you know. What are you doing right now? Sticky green. You sound like him talking about Marvel movies. I was just going to say that. You sound like me talking about superheroes.

I'm admitting I don't know about weed. I've never done any weeds. Dude, sticky icky. Sticky, green, purple, purple. Purple haze. Ooh, chocolate tie. That's all I know. I don't know.

I mean, bright shouldn't get high on your own supply. It's lesson number one. Haven't you ever seen fucking boys in the hood? You get your wig pushed back. Yeah, dude. If you get high on your own supply, you get your wig pushed back. You get your shit pushed in. I don't think

anyone fucks you. You get your shit pushed in. You get your shit pushed in. Every time I do that, I feel like Macho Man Randy Savage and not the guy from Training Day. You get your shit. What reference is that? Training Day.

Where Ethan Hawkson down the table. Oh, I'm thinking. That's right. I'm thinking of, what was the movie with James Edwards almost? Standing the Liver. No, no, no. It was the prison movie. Oh, I know.

American Me. American Me, yeah. Yeah. You know, he hasn't been the same since that. They were after him because of that movie. The Mexican Mafia or something? Yeah. Portraying him like that. Yeah, man. They were like, yeah, you don't make the same since that. They were after him because of that movie. The Mexican Mafia or something? Yeah. Portraying him like that.

Yeah, man. They were like, yeah, you don't make a movie like that. Yeah. Speaking of Macho Man, this went crazy. Yeah, because there was a lot of sex in that movie. Sorry. This went crazy viral last week, this Macho Man talking about crying. He's my favorite wrestler of all time.

Okay, your middle name is Macho. But I'm wondering if you ever cried. Has Macho Man ever cried? I'm wondering if you ever cried. Has a macho man ever cried? Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. It's okay for macho men to show every emotion available right there, you know, because I've cried a thousand times, I'm gonna cry some more.

But I've soared with the eagles and I've slithered with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between and I'm gonna tell you something right now. He's a poet. There's one guarantee in life and that there are no guarantees yeah and understand this nobody likes to quit or nobody said life was easy so if you get knocked down take the standing eight count get back up and fight again and you're a macho maniac dig it dig it is that. Is that outfit Gucci? That thing was lit. That's a good promo. That's so weird.

He's the best. I said on my podcast fucking two weeks ago, I was like, how much would he be in a viral clip? You said that went viral? Yeah, it was trending on Twitter, like macho man talking about. That's so weird. I wonder if I fucking subconsciously saw it. You know what's weird is when I would get hurt as a kid, I would say, out loud, I'd go, macho man, macho man. I still do that. I still do that now. But now it's when some of my feelings get hurt. Yeah kid i would say to out loud and go macho man macho man i don't know

whenever but now it's just some of my feelings get hurt macho man macho thanks for waiting kelly we got you on now oh hello what's up girl hi how are you guys good how are you love the nose good thank you eric are you there yes ma'am hello i got a king interesting hello hi eric hi i got a king interesting for you guys uh throwing yourself a birthday party uh and why don't you give us background why that happened because also give your so um i'm turning 30 next month and i decided to throw myself a party i'm slightly regretting it but it's already too late a lot of work um but so far a lot of people are excited yeah i don't mind it you're taking the reins of it's just a lot of work and it's yeah my once i told mom, she kind of took over.

So I'm not that mad about it. But now do you have to pay for all of it? No. My mom paid for the place that we're renting out. Oh, that's nice. And she's cooking all the food. Oh, you're good. So I just have to show up.

It's not so bad. Sorry. She sent in another King and her singing as well. And I would say part of it was about you just broke off your engagement, so co-parenting your dog. So would you say your birthday party was kind of get back on the horse and have some fun? Oh, well, then, yeah, then that's a little bit more of a –

Yeah, my fiance left me, and so I was wondering what to do. Do we share custody of our dog? Because we got her together, but I would wondering what to do. Like, do we share custody of our dog? Because we got her together. But I would never, you know, give her up. I'm sorry to hear that. But no, don't share custody. And then you got to see him all the time. Can you pay him off?

Well, I actually work with him. So I have to see him every day. Motherfucker. Yeah. He delivers mail, too? It's all good. He delivers mail? Yeah. Yeah. that's how we met

What kind of dog is it A golden doodle My brother has one of those they're not cheap She's a black golden doodle named Wednesday How about we just get you a new dog We know a guy with some hats No get him a new dog I'm a brown solver, man.

No, that's not the solution. This motherfucker left her. He don't get the dog, too. Fuck him. Yeah, that's true. He's done enough damage. By the way, why did you...

You know what I mean? You knew you were turning. You were turning 30. Do you feel anything about like none of your friends wanted to do this? Are you not close with your friends? Or like how is this making you feel? No, I have really good friends. It was just like, I don't know. I've never been big on my birthday.

And, you know, when you're younger, your mom or your parents usually throw you a party when you're a kid. And then as you get older, you know, a friend or a family member again. But I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to take the reins and do it myself. I don't have a problem with it. Yeah, you're good there. I don't have a problem with it. And you're not paying for it, so that's cool.

I mean, it's a little annoying if you have to fucking plan it, which it seems like you did in the beginning. But then your mom kind of took the reins over. Don't come for the middle of my shirt. Yeah. But yeah, it's good. You're good. You're fine. Well, as long as she didn't, like, surprise herself, that would be weird.

Yeah, that would be great. You know what I mean? We're just going to surprise her. Yeah. She's like, oh, my God, I can't believe you guys did this. Well, I like – can I, like, come late to my own party? No, no. What it is is she's waiting at the party by herself and invites all her friends to come

at the same time. And she comes out the gate. And they open the door and she goes, surprise! It's my birthday! Well, I plan on arriving late. Oh my God, you get my favorite cake? You ordered it. But I think the bigger issue is the dog and homeboy.

Like, you guys got to figure that out. You don't want to do that. I think arrogance. Fuck that guy. He left. He doesn't get the dog. He left. You get the dog. He left. You get the dog.

Oh, yeah, because it's that easy. Are you having trouble seeing him at work? Is he cool? He's not cool. They were engaged. No, I'm saying is he being cool at work for fuck's sakes? That's different. Yeah, we don't really talk.

We kind of were trying to work things out, and it seemed to have fallen through again. Now, why did he leave? It is what it is. What's again. Now, why did he leave? It is what it is. What's it stem from? Why did he leave? You'd have to ask him. Differences, yeah, just differences. I get it.

Creative differences. When's your birthday? I mean, September 15th. All right, we'll shout you out on the free show, too. Yeah, we'll give you a shout-out for sure from us for your birthday. Hell, yeah. Thank you. I was down to buy our dog. You guys are some bitches.

I mean, my dog needs a friend, so I'll always take it. I'll send a pit bull. You set yourself up. Well, thank you. Good luck. Have a great birthday. I wouldn't feel any type of way about it.

Yeah, good luck. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it. Great seeing you guys. Tell that guy we said he sucks. Get her off the screen. We don't know who that is.

She seems like a real... What's going on, boys? It's Josh from up here in Oregon. I got a King of the Stinget for you guys today. Powerlifting at 68 years old. My dad's been competing in powerlifting since his early 20s when powerlifting became a sport. And I just went to a meet with him the other day, and he broke a world record in bench press at just over 400 pounds. And broke a world record in deadlift at just over 600 pounds.

God damn. It's a little bit scary as a son watching him compete at this age because, you know, I wish he would just kind of retire and kick back. But the guy's doing what he loves, and I love watching him do what he loves. So I just wanted to see what you guys thought about powerlifting as a senior citizen. Can you just think it? King, man. What's happening?

What them calves do, baby? God, yo. 60 what? 80. Let's go. Come on, baby. God. 60 what? 80. Let's go. Come on, Sam. This is 600? Let's go, baby.

Let's go. Let the plane jump around. Oh, he could have done more. He could have, right? Yeah, easily. Well, he's got to get it over his head first, right? No, man. It's a deadlift, dog. Oh, that's it? Stick to superheroes. That would have done more. He could have, right? Yeah, easily. Well, he's got to get it over his head first, right? No, man. It's a deadlift, dog.

Oh, that's it? Stick to superheroes. That would have been awesome. If you just... What, did you see how he kind of... It would be the one. He kind of almost passed out right there? Yeah, he got a woozy.

Wow. Really? What, what? A lot of people just pass out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's like when I pee. Mark, how much can Mark deadlift?

Not 600. Wow. This guy. Yeah, especially for his age, it's pretty insane. Remember when I did 600? Oh, yeah. I mean, most people don't even understand how heavy 600 pounds is. It feels like your spine's going to rip out of your body.

I did 600, and I could feel like my spine going. Yeah. And then I did it, and I was like, oh, that's cool for the gram. And then, dude, I couldn't even drive home. Really? No, no, no. My back seized up. I had to pull over and, like, stretch.

Actually. I was fucked for, like, a month. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Well, I mean, I think that's the real issue is what we're talking about here is this guy is, like, I could tell that he, like, loves his dad. I could tell they have a great relationship, and he's just saying, like, hey, it's like he wants his dad to just slow down and just be an old man. Nah, fuck that.

He's going out. He's like Patrick Swayze in fucking Point Break. He's like, dude, I'll see you. He goes and does the fucking last wave and dies. I live my life one quarter mile at a time. Okay, so debate club. Do you want your dad to go out on a big wave or just pass out from lifting and then he'd never wake up? Which one?

I don't want him to just sit in a fucking rocking chair and decay away. Do your thing. I'd rather him go fucking deadlifting 700 pounds. But everyone retires, you know? Yeah, but I think the question is do you want to selfishly want to see your parent just kind of chill so you can have them around longer? Or do you want your parent to go out doing what they love? Doing what they love.

Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I think that, yeah, I don't know. Your dad's just show running and he's just like, ooh. No, no. And action. Cut! I don't think, I don't think, I don't know, man. I don't know.

To me, nothing's more important than family, so I can't imagine doing that shit. This is an easy one. It's not like he's a Navy SEAL. That's true. It's not like he's going to Iraq. Like, man, it's getting really stressful. He's 65, still going on Blackwater operations. You just told us that you had to pull, you're a young man and you had to pull over because

your back was fucked. We're talking about a 68-year-old man lifting 600 pounds and he almost passed out right there. He's okay. Well, still, I mean, the next time he might not be okay. And it's healthy to work out. That's not working out. That's when... No, for him to get there, he's doing sets

every day, all week, months. Like, that's a build-up. Okay, but that's the difference between, say, training to be a UFC fighter, but actually being in the ring, you can end up killing yourself. I agree, yeah. You know what I mean? And he just works out. He likes to compete.

He's got that dog. That's what I'm saying. I'm kind of torn between it because I totally get it. But, look, my parents moved to Spain, and when they left, I thought, oh, it could be a possibility I never see them again. But I was like, this is what they wanted to do. You know what I mean? It's like she always wanted to do this, and I was like, all right, I support you.

Go do your thing. I mean, no one can speak better than this. Mark's dad passed away doing what he loves. Literally died doing a triathlon. Yeah, he was an open water swimmer, and he used to be like a record-holding swimmer in his youth. He would, after high school, he got into open water swimmer and he got he used to be like a record holding um swimmer in his youth he would uh after high school he got into open water and so there's a lot of courses in the bay area like different paths across the bay that he was like the first person to do and got away from it got overweight in his 40s and then in his 50s he like got back into it

found the love he was in really good. And he would do these bridge swims and he was doing a swim under the Brooklyn Bridge to raise charity, to raise money for this school that my little brother was helping start in Africa. And during the swim, he had a heart attack. That could have happened anytime, right? Like because you build up plaque and you're, you know, you get heart disease.

But yes, it is a silver lining on like, I'd never seen my dad happier in his final years because when you're not doing what you love, you're miserable and depressed and suicidal. And that guy also looks like he was, even though he was about to pass out, his form did look really good. Hell yeah, it did.

And you don't want to be old and not be able to stand up. So when I see strong old people, it's like, yeah, your quality of life is better. And he had the legs of Moana. They were fucking jacked. Yeah, that was good, dude. Okay, well then, yeah, I think it's okay. I mean, maybe the guy's a little worried that...

I mean, it's a lot of weight for a fucking... for an old guy. I just think about my dad doing this. But that guy's also... Just look at him, probably 300-something pounds. That's not that crazy. That's not that crazy. It just makes me laugh thinking of Bill

trying to deadlift. Your dad power lifts still. He's pretty good. Yeah, he works out all the time. Yeah, nonstop. You guys got any hobbies you're going to do when you're older? I'm not going to tell him to stop and get a fucking booster. Just coffee, man.

Coffee and chill with my kid. Yeah. Well, I mean, he'll be out. But when I'm older, coffee and trying to call my kids, whatever. You're saying what are we going to do when we're grandpas? Yeah, you got any hobbies planned? Shit. I'm going to do ceramics. Ipas? Yeah, you got any hobbies planned? Shit. I'm going to do ceramics. I'll probably drink.

I'll probably drink and yell at the screen. I'll tell you this much. If I'm still doing podcasts, fucking shoot me in the head. I'm doing podcasts for sure. I'm going to be wild. Because all the guys have a free pass. Yeah, you're going to be in congratulations like this. Hey, guys. You know what?

Welcome to episode 9000. Welcome to episode 9000 Welcome to episode You'll be selling your merch Here's my merch Shit Callan's still podcasting He's 55 years old Yeah 60 years from now

That'd be episode 3000 Wow You still wanna do Like stand up and shit When you're How do you know you know Yeah You still wanna do stand Like when you stand-up and shit when you're... How do you know, you know? Yeah. You still want to do stand...

Like, when you... Dude, I was thinking about fucking... After this tour, like, when do I want to do another one? I'm like, I want to do another one. Really? You just started. Just got back into it, yeah. I know, but it's different.

Are you talking about... It's different now. I don't want to be away from my family, man. I don't want to be away from my family. Which can bring them... I know, I know, I know, but... Yeah, but that's not always going to be the case. And you're in theaters.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe I could do one show on a Saturday and fly back. That's what I'm, yeah. Yeah. Vegas residency. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could do that. That's what the big boys do.

Congratulations at the Mirage. That's my only goal is to get to theater so I can just do one night before my son gets into sports. So I don't miss any games. Yeah. Otherwise, I'm only touring in the offseason. What do you mean the my son gets into sports so I don't miss any games. Yeah. Otherwise, I'm only touring in the offseason. What do you mean the offseason? Your kid's going to play. My son's offseason.

I know, but I have a feeling he's going to want to do like all, you know, it's like you have the football season, you have the basketball track season, and then you have the, you know, I don't. I'm missing basketball. I'm missing kids not making it in basketball. You feel me? You don't know that. I know that.

Yeah. What up, King Sting, Wing and Sing. basketball i'm mixing kids not making a basketball you feel me you don't know that i know that yeah what up king sting wing and sing got a king or stinging for you here uh mainly directed towards chris because he always says that your hair hair should be longer than your beard hair uh well when you're balding at 27 i would say that it's probably a must, huh? I mean, I'd look like a fucking baby. So, yeah, King of the Singers. Bald with beard. You have to. No.

Gang gang. Buzz buzz. Sore. And woo woo woo. Dope T, too. I think that if you're completely bald like that, you can have some facial hair. You have to. I'm with him.

You look like a giant creepy baby. Yeah. But if you have a little bit of hair on your head and then longer beard, then I don't agree with that, dude. I like when it's completely bald and then just big ass beard. That's a style. I don't know. Tate Fletcher. I think you should have longer hair hair than beard hair always. I can't stand people holding on for dear life.

That's what you're talking about. They got this little bullshit shit up top. Get rid of that. It's upside down. Yeah's what you're talking about. They got this little bullshit shit up top. Get rid of that. It's upside down. Yeah, just get rid of it. It's upside down and I don't stand for it. I think that he should trim up the beard a little bit more. But also, yeah, the people that hold on to it, you're

fighting this fight and you're not winning. You're down 10-8, Bubba, in the rounds. It's not good. Yeah, but when you have a billion dollars in the bank, you could, you know. Sometimes he has hair, sometimes he doesn't. Even he painted it one time. It looked like a fucking Pittsburgh Steelers helmet. Remember that? I know.

Stars, they're just like us. And that's it. You got to wear a wig. All right. Well, thanks, guys. We appreciate you, the support on Patreon. We love you guys. Yes, Patreones.

I'll see you in Dallas and Wichita and Atlanta. Oh, that's right, huh? And D.C. D.C., yep. And I'm in Appleton, Wisconsin, September 8th through the 10th. And then Ontario Improv is September, I think, 15th through 17th. And then I end September's tour in Boston, Laugh Boston, Get You Some. I think that's the 29th through October 1st.

Comedy Store La Jolla, September 9th through the 11th. The Improv in Milwaukee, 15th through the 17th. Skankfest, 14th through 16th. And Calusa Casino, October 28th. Love you guys! We'll be right back. Brought it full circle and put on the whole team Legendary trio, Brandon, Chris, and Theo What you mean? You know it's the king and the sting and the wing