The Golden Hour - Episode 195: Secreting Like Crazy

Episode Date: September 23, 2022

The guys talk online looks vs real life looks, meeting people in person vs online, call sheet credits, handsome trolls, all new KATS In The Wild and KATS Confessions submissions, dudes with high voices, the potential return of Chinder, Chris feeling ugly lately, women with bangs and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nothing, nothing. Rachel's all about eye contact. We'll even be at a restaurant, she'll be like, look at me. You know? That's annoying. And I'm like, okay, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And?

I'm trying to cut. You know what I mean? So I gotta eat like this. No, no, no. Just do like this. In the peripheral. You have to look past the stage. You ever met this guy?

Oh, I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. I'm the dumb one. In the peripheral? In the past estate? You ever met this guy? Oh, I'm the dumb one. You can't argue. There's something about me.

You have no idea what you're saying. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Soul. Welcome, Nick. Hey. Singing the wing and the ting and the ping and the king and the sting and the... And chin. And chin. And with special guest, Nick. Hey. Sing in the wing and the ting and the ping and the king and the sting and the... And chin. And chin.

And with special guest Nick and chin, like they do with fucking whatever, what's his name in a movie, Michael Caine, with Michael Caine and fucking Paul Giamatti. You don't even know. That's actually a big deal. I know. I know. Oh, it's a big deal. Oh, it's a big deal to be like the with and the and.

I'm not sure. Which one's more important, with or and? The last one. Whatever they do. Oh, it's a big deal. Oh, it's a big deal to be like the with and the and. I'm not sure. Which one's more important, with or and? The last one. Whatever they do. Oh, true. And I had that. I would like or. I had that once.

Or Eric Griffin. We should add that to the new intro. We should add that to the new intro. Or Eric Griffin. Brendan Shaw, Chris D'Elia, or Eric Griffin. Yeah, I'll just go. I'll be in La Jolla. Or you can see me in La Jolla.

Hey, sold those shows out, Beth. Oh, nice. Hell yeah. I had one of those. I got that once with or end, whatever. And my manager was telling me, like, and we got this or whatever. And I was like, I don't give a fuck, bro. Like, I know it's supposed to be special.

I was like, yeah, whatever. That's fine. Put me in the middle. I don't give a shit. Isn't it whoever's first is a big deal? Yes. Because when it does the movies, you know, it'll be like starring.

Well, yeah. Alec Baldwin. Right, right. He's always the first guy. Actually, there's a bunch of things. So you have the standalone title credit. That's one of the things that you get. of things. So you have the standalone title credit. That's one of the things that you get. Like they go, you get the standalone title credit.

You're not with anyone else. You're not with anyone else. And then you get the other one where it's like, it'll be like, Brendan Chubb, Chris D'Elia. Eric Griffin. Oh, that would hurt my feelings. Yeah, well, I've got that. If I was there and it was like several different names.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, damn. But then even after all, even if you get the big main credit, because you're, say, like number one or number two, number two on the call sheet, then it's the later one where it will be like and or introducing. Right, right, right. It's better to be that guy than like the fourth guy. Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's better to be either of those guys than Brian Callen where you don't see him on all the credits and it just goes, guy in parking lot, Brian Callen. And they spell it B-R-I-A-N. Yeah, yeah. Callen with a K. Yeah, yeah. But that's funny because speaking of all those things,

I'll be in Stockton tomorrow and then Oakland the next day. And then we're doing Peoria. This is, dude, chrysalia.com. We're doing Peoria and we're doing Rockford, Illinois, dude. And I got Savannah. You know, it's just like go to chrysalia.com. We're doing Peoria, and we're doing Rockford, Illinois, dude. And I got Savannah. You know, it's just like, go to chrysalia.com. I got a bunch of cities. Oh, wait, we're right here.

Cheyenne, Wyoming. I've never been there, dude. Let's see what's up. Boston, we sold the first one out. We're doing another one, dude. Albany, New York. Lakeland, Florida. Jacksonville, Florida.

It's almost sold out, and that's December 3rd, dude. Jacksonville. The Wang Theater? Yeah, the Wang, yeah. Big Boy, Florida. It's almost sold out and that's December 3rd, dude. The Wang Theater? Yeah, the Wang, yeah. Big boy in Boston. Wow. You know what I heard at Better Club? You know what I heard is better than the Wang? Laugh, Boston. Next Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Shows are almost sold out. Laugh, Boston. Your boy is

in Boston next week. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'll just tell you mine because I'm not current. I gotta go to a funeral tomorrow, man. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'll just tell you mine because I'm not current. I got to go to a funeral tomorrow, man. Well, plug that. Oh, I think they're live streaming it. Check out my grandma's funeral. I'll be selling merch out the back.

Is it really? I mean, she was 98. It's not a sad thing. Colusa Casino, October 28th. Colusa making up casinos. Dude, so that's sad. I'm sorry. Don't be.

I wasn't that close with her. My dad's like one of 13. She's cool. She was 98 and also 300. You're in pain and you're being defensive. You might be right. I'll do my later. She used to swim every day, though.

There you go. Even at 98, used to swim like a freaking walrus. No, it's your dad's. Okay, so it's your dad's mom. Yeah. And he was one of 13, bro. One of 13. Oh, that's too many kids.

Who's busting that much and having, like, that's crazy. Religious. My grandma and grandpa are super religious and just, just nothing. Ow, this dude's got a harem. It's crazy. He's my hero. He's my hero. He does this shit, like, you know how Hollywood will write, like, two scripts at the same time and then shoot one?

He had this kid, and he was like, and Eleven's on the way, too. Like, it was like, is this John Wick or your kids? Unbelievable that he's, like, already got more kids on deck. Did you see the headline? Well, yeah, because he'll be like, when he goes through his kids, he'll be like, Michael here is eight months old. And then Sienna here is nine months old. Like, a month and two different babies. Oh, damn.

Oh, damn. I think it's numerous. It must be. Oh, no. There's like three or four. Yeah. And he has like nine different baby mamas. He's got to be.

He's crushing it. Is it a sickness? Like, what is it? I don't know what it is. It's a. I don't want to. Maybe that's not the right word. But it's like.

I don't think it's a sickness. He seems to be like obsessed with making babies. Procreating? Yeah. Some people are, dude. Some people are. I mean, like Elon Musk talks about it. Everyone should have as many kids as they can because the number one issue down the road is going to be population.

Because people don't have enough kids. They're not having enough kids? Not having enough kids. Yeah, the population for the first time is starting to decline, especially in China. They're limit it. So they think the number one problem. And also- But aren't there not enough resources and shit?

No, that's all bullshit. But they were saying that- Is it? Yeah, kind of. They were saying that- What are you doing? I think that, honestly- What are you doing?

Your forehead's still like that. Been feeling ugly lately. You feel ugly? Sometimes I feel like that. You ever go to a mall or a store, and you think you look fly, and then you see yourself in the mirror? You've been feeling ugly? Sometimes I feel like that. You ever go to a mall or a store and you think you look fly and then you see yourself in the mirror? You've been feeling ugly?

Like why? You woke up and what's ugly about you? Let's go over this. You don't agree, so I like that. So you're saying I'm handsome. I'm saying I get it. No, I didn't say that. I'm saying I get it. I just want to know if you're finally on board with some of the things we don't like about you. No, no, no. I get the whole thing. Like my eyes are baggy. My forehead's big. I look like a bird. I, my eyes are baggy. My forehead's big.

I look like a bird. I know. I'm gray here. I wish I was, don't, you know, my skin's fine. I'm helping. My, some days you wake up and you just feel ugly. You know what I mean?

And today's one of those days and that's okay, dude. Yeah, but you're all in with your hair. I don't know what, I don't get that. What, my hair what? You're like,

you were looking at your hair. Oh, uh. Like, did you go to the salon or something? Maybe that's just when you caught me, but like, yeah, all angles. I look ugly all angles today. Some days you just wake up and go, I'm not feeling it, man.

But there I look good. You never wake up, Eric, just like, today's not the day, man. Listen, that's the story of my life. Eric's all, every day. This year's not the year. Dude, you mentioned about how sometimes you you think you look fly and then you go out and you yeah how about this oh my god i'll be like you how about that oh and you just catch it you're reflecting j crew and you're like oh i missed i thought i had it and then i'm like i need

a new outfit right now well no but hold on how about this speaking of outfits you ever put some shit on and you're like whoa this is a great outfit. You take some pictures. You see it next day. Great. And then two weeks later, you're like, oh, oof, I'm going to wear that outfit again. And you put it on, and it just doesn't work. What is that? You're still you. Do you understand what I'm saying? It might be the hype of a new item. You know what I'm saying?

Like there's that hype. Well, I find that I can't trust Rachel. That's your girl? That's my wife. So, like, I can't trust Like, there's that hype. Well, I find that I can't trust Rachel. That's your girl? That's my wife. So, like, I can't trust. Because here's the thing. She wants you to look like shit. Yes.

No. Yeah. No, dude. If she goes like this, if she goes like this, if she goes, oh, that looks so cute on you. You look so cute. I question. This is the response I really want. If I'm about to go to a club, I want her to be like this.

Where are you going? Oh, okay. I want her to be like this where you going oh okay you want her to be like uh uh I want her to be like where you going looking like that that's what I'm

that's hilarious then I know I'm like okay I'm looking handsome today I thought you were saying you can't trust her like if she says you look good

you look bad or you look bad you look good but you're saying okay I see what you're saying cause he's a threat he gets that haircut sometimes she'll be like but i had to tell her like babe not everybody has the same type as you like you know you have a type yeah yeah yeah

but you know what this is the thing like uh like it is important i've been talking about this like it's important to people got to get out and actually meet people because you don't understand the power you have in person this generation is so used to being online and swiping and all this stuff but there's pheromones and stuff that go on oh dude you are in person and that and that's when people ask me all the time hey man how'd you get that girl yeah they say this to me all the time you know why because i'm dope i'm me yeah? Yeah. You get out in person, you're going to feel a whole different vibe. I know on camera, I'm a solid six in person. And this personality starts flaring up.

I'm a good 10. On camera, I'm a nine. In person, I'm a 10, bro. Both are good, dude. Okay, I'll tell you this much, dude. In person, be around me. Be around me, bro. Be around me, bro.

You get sucked up dude no get sucked in bro yeah i'm like this yeah you're like the sun no but the thing is is i'd say on camera seven right in person solid good guy depends on how i go I start going like this Ugly This is okay Too high Yeah yeah yeah There's like a You know what I mean It's angle

You went too far Oh there it is Imagine if you had to like When you meet a girl You have to be like Just a second I got it Hold on a second

Let me make sure Yeah yeah yeah Oh it's ready It's ready Yeah put on your heels. Put on your heels. No, it's like when they read your eyes when you go through clear at the airport. Yes, yes.

That's what you got to do. Because I'll go like this. You're like, move closer, face down. I'm like, there it is. Every girl is clear to me. Yeah. Yes, every girl is clear. Security.

How about I always talk about how there's the golden zone of attractiveness, of attraction level. Okay? There's the golden zone of attractiveness, of attraction level. Okay? There's the golden zone. You want to be best in the golden zone. And the golden zone is anywhere from like six feet out to 20 feet out. Because that's where most people are seeing you. You know what I'm saying? That's when you want to be the most attractive.

You know what I'm saying? That's when you want to be the most attractive. But if you're not, like if you're attractive far away and then you get into the golden zone, you're like, oh, never mind. Do you know what I mean? That's a problem. Close up kind of everybody's ugly. You call it the golden zone. I call it the danger zone. Okay, cool.

Yeah, very much. But like I – Highway to the danger zone. Like I would say you're probably best looking. Here we go. And you're probably best looking. No, go. And you're probably best looking. No, in the golden zone. And that's good.

Far away, you might see you and be like, what's that guy all about? I don't know. But you get closer to you in the golden zone. You look great. No, up close. No, you look fucking terrible, obviously. And up close. Just right in my face.

You know what I mean? Didn't even package it nicely it was like a gift just like but most people look terrible up i look terrible up close check it check it check it here's the thing here's here's the other things now up close you got other things going on 100 that's where the pheromones come into play right because i i like my secretions my cologne daddy oh my god i when i'm doing meet and greets i remember doing meet and greets and having like where the pheromones come into play. Right, because I like this. My secretions. My cologne, daddy. Oh, my God. When I'm doing meet and greets,

I remember doing meet and greets and having a girl say to me, like, ooh, you smell good. Yeah. It's all whatever that kind of stuff. Yeah. It's like after they see you perform or whatever they know you about, I mean, you have all these things

that are a factor. What I'm telling people out in the world is, especially the ugly dudes who think they're ugly, they can't, whatever. You got to get in person. And how do you secrete? Because the secretion is crucial, right?

After the show, I'm secreting like crazy. You smell like, yeah, well, but you smell sweet. I'm secreting like crazy. That'd be a great name for Chris's cologne. Secrete. No, secrete like crazy should be the name of your next like pit stains you know because no but all that stuff but listen your sense of humor your personality your smell your voice your eye contact your body language these things are more right these things add to the equation but this generation is so used to just being online

they don't actually know because you you get in person and you you ever ask yourself why am i attracted to that person or whatever the thing might be. Of course. All the time. I'm not attracted to this. Or you go, well, that person's got something going on. It's because in person it is different. Get off the fucking internet.

Yep. Let's just take a break, guys. Let's do it, buddy. Yeah. The NFL action is in full swing here at DraftKings Sportsbook. And you pay attention to all of it. I do. And you know what?

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satisfaction guarantee all blue nile orders are insured and shipped in free they're shipped for free in discreet packaging okay yep make your moment sparkle with your guy or gal sparkle with blue now go to blue now.com use the code k-a-t-s to save $50 on your purchase of $500 or more. That's Blue Now, B-L-U-E-N-I-L-E.com. Code is K-A-T-S to save $50 on your purchase of $500 or more. BlueNow.com, code K-A-T-S. I also feel like it's this, and I'm no scientist, and we'll get to the shit submissions, but I think that you ever,

not necessarily the most quintessentially attractive person you'll be with them but like they're and and you get to their you know pheromones and secretions and smell and you love it i think that that's biology telling us that will make better offspring yes you know what i'm saying i don't know if that's true or not but i always felt like that yeah yeah that's how ugly dudes get hot chicks, unless they have money. Right, if they're strong. No, but see, just to pawn it off as money, money also implies someone is successful, confident. Someone is a go-getter. No, women don't like that at all.

That's what I'm saying. They follow through. But that's what it implies. It's awesome. Because it's the ugly guys. It's the insecure guys on the internet that will be like, oh, she's only with you for your money. Yeah, no, it's not money. You know what I mean?

It's because you're good. No, but I would say there are chicks. Oh, well, yeah. But they're sugar babies. Oh, no. Oh, no. You're paying for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's not a good feeling. You're paying. It's not a good feeling to think that you have to pay for things. Right. And it's not a good feeling to feel like you're property. That things, and it's not a good feeling to feel like you're property. That's not a good feeling. That can't last. Right, of course.

What I'm saying, though, is like, you know, but I don't, listen. It's like when people watch me game, Eric Griffin Gaming on Twitch, by the way, and somebody would be like, man, only reason why people watching you is because you were on Workaholics. And I go, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm streaming. Right, right, right, right. Why would somebody watch a 50-year-old play video games if there was nothing extra?

Especially if they can't smell your secretion. Exactly. But what kind of roast is that? Only reason people know you is because you're on the greatest TV shows of all time. I know, I know, I know. That's why people get... It goes breaking bad to the point of... You know what?

I don't want to get into this, but I want to ask you. That's where I'm at with it. This brings up an important question. You know when someone says that to you, they go, well, they're only with you because you've got money or because you're on TV, whatever, right? Which is right, yeah. Okay, but what I'm saying is this. Does that imply that only people that win the genetic lottery are allowed to be with people? That's a good question.

That's a good question. You know what I mean? As if that's the only thing that's okay. That's a good. You always look at shit a little bit different, and that's why we love you, dude. You come with some real sex. Interesting shit. You have a guy who's super aesthetically handsome.

Right. Yes. So then no one says, well, they're only with you because you're handsome. They actually kind of accept it. They go, oh. Oh, I get it. Ryan Gosling. I get it.

I get it. Ryan Gosling. Chris Lee. But Eric Griffin, they go, well, it's only because. I go, well, that's my Ryan Gosling thing. Yeah, dude. Now, Ryan Gosling checks all Lee Bradford. But like Eric Griffin, they go, well, it's only because. I go like, well, that's my Ryan Gosling thing. Yeah, dude. Now Ryan Gosling checks all those boxes, but yeah. Right, well, hey, dude, he wouldn't be good at gaming like fucking Griffin, dude.

I bet he'd be pretty good. He'd be a shitty Montez. Yeah. Oh, there we go. Thank you. And now he would be shitty in La La Land, right? I don't know, bro. I don't know about that, dude.

I can kind of move and I can sing. Oh, God damn, dude. Now, should attractive people be the only ones that procreate? Yeah, we all agree on that. Now, what were you saying? Well, yeah. Sometimes two uglies can make a... Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Hell yeah. I don't know if the... Two uglies make a right. Yeah, so, you know. There's something I wanted to say about the... There's the title of the episode. You guys haven't really answered my question.

What was it? What I'm saying is, like, why do people feel that way? Like, why is it, like, if you win the genetic lottery, you're allowed to, like, you know, be out here in the streets and just getting all the girls or getting all the guys, right? And then anyone else that doesn't fit that, now they're blamed. They're making an excuse. They're making an excuse. Well, it's because.

Go ahead. Can I go? Yeah. Tag me in me in tag me in tag me in i'm in so fucking that was so all right um you're not used to interrupting like yeah it's true did you see how i gave him the this is like you know jump rope at school and then i'm here we go yeah um but a lot of people go, oh, the only reason you're with that girl is because of this reason, workaholics or whatever. Those trolls talking shit to you probably aren't the best looking. So to them, that's their insecurities coming out. Being like, oh, the only reason he got that because I can't is because he's on workaholics. I actually disagree with you on one point. Bring it. A lot of times, too, it is young, handsome guys who are haters as well. Oh, your trolls are different.

You know, they'll look and be like. I have a heart. Because I think that when young guys see an older guy with a younger girl, okay, they have a thing like, why are you with that guy? Oh, not me. You know what? They have a thing like that, too. And I think it's like, because I'm dependable.

I never think that. I go, I get it. I'm easy to talk to. I don't have to eat at a restaurant. I don't have to order at a restaurant. Taking a no-boo and shit. You know, when I was young, I couldn't afford that. I also think, though, guys are using what they think women like as, and it's not that you know they're like oh yeah he's you know

they don't understand that they're not thinking like a woman they're thinking like a guy do you know what i'm saying so it's like oh for sure yeah like if you had to ask like what are the top you know our female like you're talking about our seven female listeners yeah the seven female listeners that are listening like tell us like what are your top five things you look for in a guy. I think the list will be different. Loyalty. For a girl, it might be like he has a good sense of humor. Yeah, big dick.

Like sense of humor is the one that people say a lot, right? That ain't even top ten on my list. I know, yeah. I got the jokes. I got it. Sense of humor,alty Not money But like safety Makes a good living

Protective Protector Can take care of me Yeah yeah yeah And with the guys list You know Big titties Nice ass

Cute face And like I always say Friendly And we don't need all three We'll take two out of three You know The guys are just different You're right

You know So they just think that Why look at this Yeah But anyways Speaking of Fucking hot dudes The guys are just different. You're right. So they just think that, well, I look at this. But anyways. Speaking of fucking hot dudes. Is that Brian Kell in the back with tattoos? Someone actually said it was a Cats in the Wild Eric on PEDs.

This is essentially Eric if he had it all. The man at the top of the mountain didn't fucking fall there. What's the quote of the day? The man at the top of the mountain didn't fucking fall there. What's the quote of the day? The man at the top of the mountain didn't fucking fall there. That's Eric Griffin, dude. That's the most Eric Griffin-ist. Do you know what I mean? The man at the top of the mountain didn't fucking fall there.

Dude, what a... Can you imagine if you and I did... I'd be like, what the fuck? It's a great statement, though. That guy's fucking cool, bro. Is he wrong? Eric, can you be more like that guy, please? I'm trying. Get some tabs, dude.

No, but I just mean the whole attitude. I'm on my, you know. Oh, swaggy, too, bro. This guy's 4'8", by the way. And he's probably 56. Everybody's real quick to believe the bad. But when it comes to the good, you motherfuckers want to question everything. What the fuck?

Nick, tell me a hard truth. Hey, yo, Rick, I'm here to tell you, man, right? Everybody's real quick to believe the bad. But when it comes to the good, you motherfuckers want to question everything. He's an Uber driver. He's an Uber driver. Here's my one issue. Just give him just like this.

Where the fuck you want to go? Where the fuck you going, man? I wish his voice was a little deeper. Deeper. Yeah, yeah. I think that about so many dudes. You know, you can't come in like, and then all of a sudden, so I think that we should be.

I will tell you this. I'm glad you fucking asked. I will tell this. I think that, and I've thought this, and I saw somebody online that was really good looking, a fucking cool, successful dude, and then he started talking and he had a high voice. Dude, let me tell you something.

Chicks don't like that. No, that is, I think, when it comes to physical shit besides height, one of the number one thing that girls will be like, no. Yep. I agree with him. Dude, if David Beckham. You ever hear David Beckham talk?

Dude, if he. Is he more like a Clive Owen shit? Oh, no. Of course, he's swimming in it anyway. That's a horrible example, right? No, no, no. What I'm saying is you'd hear about him a lot more, dude. I don't even hear about him anymore. No, no? No, no, no. What I'm saying is you'd hear about him a lot more, dude. I don't even hear about him anymore.

No, no, no, no, no. He cleans up. If you had a love or a slot, forget. Bro, there wouldn't be any of us in the world. We wouldn't exist, dude. That was God being like, it has to be higher. Yeah, we got to go a little higher. We made it.

Is he going to get tattoos? Yeah. It has to be higher. Cut his we got to go a little higher. We can't give him a lot. We made him. Is he going to get tattoos? Yeah. It has to be higher. Cut his wings off. Sometimes I feel like on the assembly line, somebody wasn't paying attention. Oh, yeah. So it was like, oh, they were checking off good looks, nice eyes, great ears, good cheekbones. And then he sneezed on voice.

Yeah. I was like, oh, shit. He's like, yeah, he'll be fine. And with me, he was like, God was on the thing, and he was just like this. And somebody started talking to him while I was doing my forehead, and he was like, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck it.

It's too much. But also, no shit girls aren't attracted to high-pitched voice. Imagine, like, the dirty talk. Yeah, girl, how do you feel? I know, I know. You know, it's just like, ugh. That's why I'm saying, dude. Take that, dick, girl.

This is related. A TikTok went viral, like like a year or two ago, but girls put a six foot measuring thing at their door so they know that a guy's not lying. He says he's so short. Let's see it. Again, that's a protective. Hinge that say they're six foot.

That's good, yeah. And then a guy walks through and... That's it? Oh, okay, cool, yeah. That'd be for a guy I want to put an SAT test at. Right, right, right. Right. Yeah, so that guy should work on his voice.

You could also make your voice... I don't know. No, it's just natural. When you're doing this kind of thing... We're all good. We have fine voices. I mean, he fucks up talking a lot. If I was him, I would do...

The phone number name is... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, lot. If I was him, I would do the phone number name is... Even if you don't have it. The South Park guy. Yeah, hi. The guy at the top didn't fall there. The man at the top of the mountain didn't fall there.

It's a little more motivating. Can't sound like Mickey Mouse. Speaking of hot dudes, what's up? What do you think? Deep voice? Oh, this is... Nope. Not high.

I'll tell you that right now. I'll tell you what, it's not deep. It's not going to be high. It is not. It's not going to be deep, but it's not going to be high.

If it's deep, this guy's... It's unfair, bro. Can you hear it? It's not deep. The tats are sick, too. It's not deep. What's up, the king of state?

It's deep. It's deep. No daddy. My name's Will. I am 27, and I live in Oklahoma City. This is my shitty submission to Tinder. I don't even know if you guys are still doing that or not.

Call me Tinder. If you want to reboot it or something like that. I like it. I know you guys have a lot of love for OKC as far as the comedy scene goes. Dating scene, on the other hand, is questionable to say the least. So I just wanted to try to use all my avenues to see if there's anything out there. First of all, I'm furious. You want to date or what?

I get it. I know that Rick's mad. I'm furious right now. Hey, guy, go outside somewhere. Go the fuck outside. You're fucking magnificent. No, he is, though. But it's Oklahoma. All the girls look like A.J. Hawk.

No, bro. No, bro. I want to go along with this, but, bro, the hot in the south? Yeah, come on, dude. Are you kidding me, dude? He's in Oklahoma. In the south, chicks walk like this, and their titties go like this, bro. They go on the downswing, man.

They take a step down, their titties go up, their shits go bouncing, bro. Their titties are dapping all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Their titties go. Oh, wow. Now he fucked up mine.

Yeah. Sorry, I fucked you. Hold on. And they cook like peach cobbler and shit. Still got my forehead in it. They cook peach cobbler. No, go ahead. No, no, no.

This dude is like these guys that go on The Bachelor. They don't really want to be on The Bachelor. They want to be famous. So I get it. You want to be on some – But maybe he's just not making a connection to small city Oklahoma. He's like, hey, fellas, help me out here. And you guys are hating on him.

You don't need – He could go down to – Hey, dude, spend two days in Austin. You get dicks up. No, dude. Oklahoma has – I don't understand. Yeah, I agree with you. I mean dude, Oklahoma has... I don't understand. Yeah, I agree with you.

I mean, maybe there's something I don't know, but like the South always, always has the hottest. You keep saying the South. Yeah. And maybe for work, he can't travel to the other great states in the South. He's stuck in Oklahoma where there's tornadoes and football. That's it. Just Google hot girls in Oklahoma,

please. You could Google hot girls in North Korea. Who gives a fuck? They're going to find some. What's the quote of the day? The man at the top of the mountain. Dude, you know what? The quote of the day.

That was perfect for this. The man in Oklahoma finding the hottest chick. I think this guy's going to be fine. He said he is bored of the girls he's meeting in bars. Like, he really. Oh, then don't go to bars, bro. Then don't go to bars. Dude, honestly, then you can't go to bars, bro. Then don't go to bars! Dude, honestly, hang out at a fucking cafe

for a day. Bro, dude, go to Target, daddy. There's so many hoes in Target. The Oklahoma Target. But it's not a fun hang, though. At least at a cafe, you're eating and shit. Cafe? Yeah, like a cafe you sit and have coffee. He's not in Paris, dude. He's in Oklahoma.

He's gonna pull up at a cafe? Yeah, dude, you go, like a cafe. He's not in Paris, dude. He's in Oklahoma. He's going to pull up at a cafe? Yeah, dude. You go get like a coffee and a bagel. You sit down. You're looking at people. Eric, we're good, bro. You know what I mean? You guys don't know shit.

I'm doing it like this. You pull a paper out. It's like this. You look over and see someone. You go. Stupid asshole. Dude, he's not trying to meet a 50-year-old at a cafe. Hey, hey.

You know what? If somebody's like you at a cafe. Hey, you know what? If somebody's looking, you got the business paper out, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you give them a little. He's a stupid asshole. That's how you meet people, man. I get it, bro. Go to Whole Foods. Go to Whole Foods.

That's how you get chicks, man. You give them the flat. Boom. It's an older thing, man. It's an older thing. And then maybe you lean back just a little bit just to see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come back, you know?

And she's like, ooh, who's? You do a little bit to see their face and then a little bit more to see the body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's that? That's an older thing. Go to Whole Foods, man. Hang on the produce section. I get it. And then you just go. These chairs are popping today. Wow more to see the body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's that? That's an older thing. Go to Whole Foods, man. Hang on the produce section. I get it.

And then you just go, these chairs are popping today. And then the conversation's on, dude. These chairs are popping today. These are cherries. Oh, oh, oh. These cherries are popping. Well, you speak weird.

You speak weird. Listen, listen. Brendan is an attractive guy. Yeah, right. Because if there was a blind chick, if it was a blind chick, she would be like, who's this idiot?

You couldn't get any blind girls. Hey, nor would I want to. And that's why no blind girls are in your DM. Well, Braille. Eric could get a fine-ass deaf chick. I'll tell you that right now. What are you talking about no no no

they have to hear me he's got to get the gab yeah oh no no no yeah baby dude I I would like I think it would be cool

to be with a blind chick like a like you know what I mean I'm all for I would never be like deaf would be a problem it'd be a problem because you gotta hear me bro

I would yeah but blind girls she could be sitting right here and you know you don't have to work you could just be playing video games yeah babe I love you so much you're like yeah just because what's that clicking nothing nothing

Rachel's all about eye contact we'll be at a restaurant she's like look at me you know and I'm like I'm like okay you know yeah yeah yeah I'm trying to cut I got you know yeah you know what I mean so I gotta yeah, yeah. I'm trying to cut. You know what I mean? So I got to eat like this. No, no, no. Just do like this. In the peripheral. In the past estate. I love it, dude.

But we got to take a break, okay? We're having so much fun, dude. Yeah, and I want to talk to you about something called DraftKings Sportsbookbook if you live under a rock and don't know what it is already okay chris you're a huge nfl fan and i love nfl action and it's in full swing well guess what draft king sportsbook is the official sports betting partner of the nfl yep week three baby my bronco is gonna win so bet on them dude yep if you like football and making money new customers with draft kings can bet just five dollars and what do you win five more dollars right two hundred dollars what yeah oh and that's not enough for you chris cool you think you know

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Thanks, Joy Mode. We didn't help this guy at all. Because this guy doesn't need help. If you're a girl and you want to date Will, he's asking for us to bring back our dating game. Send in videos. You know what? I'll find you. I would find him, this guy, a girl, and meet you.

I think we should have him on just to do this. He should come on, and we'll find him some, you know, you know what I mean? Some dying piece. Because let's hear his actual problem in Oklahoma. He just said he's. No, no, he's saying like if we get him on. Yeah, if we get him on. If he's like, man, I've been dating this girl, this is what happened.

He reminds me of my friend that like, and this is a hot guy thing. My friend said to me, he was like, yeah, you know, if I date a blonde, the next one. Oh, that's crazy. she can't be a blonde. That guy doesn't even know what he's saying. That guy's a fucking moron. And my thing is like, my thing is like, is she breathing? You know?

You know what I mean? I don't have the luxury to be like, what a last one. Is she breathing? The last one didn't have. You know what I mean? I'm so thankful that I was able to. My ex was a person. This time, I need a person again. So he feels like that kind of guy.

Right, right. He seems picky. I'm not getting that vibe from him. No, I get it, though. He's probably very picky, right? He's picky. I get it. He's a good-looking guy.

I understand. He might be one of these dumbasses at a bar. I understand what you're saying, yeah. And they're young, and they're just trying to have a good time. He's like, damn, I'm looking for something real here. Yeah, he's a good looking guy. I understand. He might be one of these dumbasses at a bar. I understand what you're saying, yeah. And they're young and they're just trying to have a good time. He's like, damn, I'm looking for something real here. Yeah. Yeah, well then that's why I'm here. You and Target.

This guy's fucking got to deal with Target. Yeah, you got this guy's going to be fine. He's pissing me off. Yeah. Oh, confessions. Yeah. This is my confession. Oh, this is in patrons.

Yeah, not patrons. We can't play it. Next week we'll play it. You're going to lose something. Okay, cool. Yeah, Patreon. Gang confession. Oh, this is in patrons. Yeah, not patrons. We can't play it. Next week we'll lose something. Okay, cool. Yeah, Patreon. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, guys. I got a confession. Too much energy.

Me and my girl have been trying to conceive for quite a while now. Little does she know that I've had a vasectomy. Dude. Should I tell her or should I just keep on practicing? Let me know. He's a monster. Wait, hold on. For a while? So you've been together for a bit?

She doesn't know about this? This guy. Hey, dude, this guy's priorities are... and he's just like telling us? Hey, guy. Well, first of all, wait. I want to talk to this guy. Like, is there there more he doesn't want to have kids man but but i have kids and he doesn't want to wear a condom you think that's what it is yeah i mean i guess it's also fucked up though because if i don't

know how old his lady is but if she's under the impression that you can have kids and it's just not happening she doesn't think it's her it's so fucked up yeah yeah you got to tell her immediately and he can reverse the vasectomy. Yeah, true, true. You can, right? He's a monster. Also, don't get a vasectomy, right? No, don't get a vasectomy.

I feel like that's super, I don't know. It's not natural. I was talking to a guy. I mean, you date a girl with fake tits. You know what I mean? I'm saying this is also a guy perspective. I mean, it's not natural also to take some hormonal birth control that's messing with your system every single day. You have to take it just so you don't get pregnant.

Eric, shut the fuck up. What are you trying to do here, man? You hang with your girls too much, man. You know what, dude? You're being a fucking asshole right now. I'm being an asshole? Wow. Eric saw me and my girl sitting down watching wonder woman i saw this great thing from a chick and it said like you know uh i she goes i took a pill he won't take a pill so i

can get a dog but i took a pill every day wow that's a hell of a tick tock so that tick that's what i'm saying it's in perspective when the guy's like guys going i don't want yeah yeah no no i don't want to take a pill for your dog yeah but also i agree with that guy yeah i hear you no i i i think that uh yeah i don't know if it's like i was talking to a guy and i was like um just a normal guy yeah no it was he was another comedian and i and he has a vasectomy i and uh and i said you know he's married and uh with his kids and stuff and i was like so you got a vasectomy because you don't want more kids and

he was like yeah i don't want more kids and um honestly like i was like it just it's not worth it to me like to me like what if you do want more kids, number one. Number two, surgery. You know what I mean? It takes, like, a month to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sit on a bag of peas. They slice into your Johnson. It's just a lot. You're shooting ghost notes.

And I said, to me, it's just not worth it. Just, like, pull out, you know, or whatever. And he was like, oh. He said, the idea of, you know, completing in my wife. God. Raw. Well, you got to do a clinical sometimes they're fucking restricted on youtube um completing in my wife was this was this dr drew yeah the idea of completing in your wife he said is dr phil is oh that's the idea of complete Dr. Phil You did Dr. Phil I said Dr. Drew Oh got it okay Both busting nuts

He said For the rest of my life Brings me so much joy Probably to both of them Fair enough I like this Oh yeah I know this isn Oh, yeah.

True. Yeah, but that- I know this isn't Patreon. I'm talking about cream pies. We're trying to get a hold of a vasectomy guy. I have his number. I told him we'll keep him anonymous. Mark's texting right now. Oh, okay.

I was just going to come on and try to get all of us to get vasectomies. Yeah, at the end of it, we're like, let's get vasectomy. All right, I guess we'll see you tomorrow at nine. You ain't touching my dick. That's wild. Okay. Yeah, you got to. I mean, you have to tell her, bro.

That's not fair to her at all. You piece of shit. But check this out, though. Let's play it out. Okay. How close is he to this? Well, that's why I want to get my phone. Because what I'm saying is like, that could be a deal breaker for her.

That's going to be crushing. Absolutely. That's like cheating. Oh, it's awful. It's dishonorable. But's going to be crushing. That's like cheating. Oh, it's awful. It's dishonorable. But also let her move on. If she wants kids, you've got to let her move on. No, what I'm saying is this is going to be

a hard thing to admit to his wife. This is going to be so devastating. Yeah, it's going to be... It's a betrayal. If it's been five years or something. Yeah. Ten years. But there's a chance he could be like, it's been eight months. Or how about this? If he's going to any doctor's appointments with her because be like it's been it's been 8 months or how about this how about this if he's going to any doctor's appointments

with her because they because she made it seem like it was her like if there was if there was just one doctor's appointment where she went to find out

let me make sure I'm okay this is a betrayal it's gonna be hard the doctor let you know though I mean cause the doctor check her out and be like she's fine dude

let's check you out and if he goes in they'll know in a heartbeat the doctor's just like show me your taint to the guy bend over spread oh i see the problem are you shooting ghost loads i see the problem all right well let's go to the next one and then if you get the guy on the horn cool if not it's fine he probably doesn't want to i would assume but i think he sounds like a liar i think he keeps it going reverses the vasectomy and act like everything's fine they'll have a baby and like it's a miracle hey man he sounds like a liar. I think he keeps it going, reverses the vasectomy, and acts like everything's fine.

They'll have a baby and know that. Like it's a miracle. Hey, man. He sounds like a liar. In high school, I faked a migraine for two weeks so I could stay home from school. My parents took me to the hospital four times. Wow. Had a specialist fly out from Ohio.

Two or three CT scans, a couple MRIs. It was all because I didn't want to take a test. So I got shot up with drugs for two weeks to try and make my imaginary headache go away. It was kind of solid. I feel bad about it. Gang, gang, both of us. I feel bad about it. This is just like the vasectomy guy.

Well, there's a point when you're a lie. You just go, well, I got to keep going with this. Or you just pull the shoe and be like, headache's gone. We don't need to fly out from San Jose. But he didn't do that. No, I'm saying he should have. At a certain point, we're like, this is getting out of control. I'm out.

But you're in it now. And then you're still going to have to take the test. But you probably love this attention from your parents in a way that they're really showing how much they love you and care about you. And he's probably like, wow. Everybody, you know, this is what happens. Dad really does love him. Yeah. He just constantly fakes illnesses all the time. Oh, God, dude.

Did you ever see Mommy Dearest with a mom forcing a girl to be sick all the time? Of course not. Oh, it's a good movie. Of course I didn't see that. There was one called Run on Amazon. Same premise. Wait a minute. This is a true story, though.

And what was this about? I think I saw it. No, it's a true story. The mom would drug the girl. No, I know. I did Same premise. Wait a minute. This is a true story, though. And what was this about? I think I saw it. No, it's a true story. The mom would drug the girl. No, I know. I did see it. I'm joking. Would drug the girl, like give her all sorts of shit.

They got the Make-A-Wish thing. They gave her houses. They gave her all sorts of shit. So that's Mommy Dears. So it's not that. It's the... That's a book, so we know Brenda didn't see that. Yeah.

Yeah. The only one with a degree here. Well, the one's called Run on Amazon. No. The only one with a degree Well the one's called Run on Amazon No The only one with a degree Yeah double degree No it's Maybe it's not called

Mommy Dears It's something You're talking about The one on Hulu Yeah Yeah yeah yeah It's fucking great Yeah with that girl

Who's a good actress No it's not called Run No no no It's a different one I know what you're talking about Oh and then it ends Spoiler alert They end up killing the mom

The boyfriend and the girl Kill the mom True story it's with patricia put your star cats in it god that feels good brandon really good man i'm gonna get a vasectomy i'm getting a vasectomy yeah but you don't have to worry about um uh just in case i don't want him to have a kid imagine you're gay you get a vasectomy for just an idiot oh there it is that's it right there the act i mean it's so mommy mommy dearest just made up mommy dearest like so weird so it's just fucking it's called mommy dearest it's called

the act i'm like it's called gone with the wind so different look up gone with the wind no not fucking this guy's got mother problems you know oh yeah are you my therapist yeah i think it was also on hulu yeah this is this yeah this got movies called i love my mother Are you my therapist? Yeah, I think it was also on Hulu. Yeah. This movie's called I Love My Mother. What is it with the cars and the guy? One is an underground street racer and the other guy's an undercover cop.

Oh, Faster Than Fury. It's not I Love My Mother. This movie was the same thing. The mom was keeping the girl sick. She's a good... She figured it out. She's phenomenal. What do they call that? By proxy?

Munchausen by proxy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so this one was, this one was, that one, this one was. The other one is a legit true story.

Yeah, it was. Murdering the mom. No, it was. I've seen it on forensic files. And then the boyfriend got like life and the daughter

who basically convinced the boyfriend to murder got like, she's almost out now, I think. She's got like six years. It who basically convinced the boyfriend murderer got like, she's almost out now, I think. She's got like six years. It's nuts.

Because she dealt with so much abuse. Like the mom would force her like a feeding tube. Even though she was normal. Force her in a wheelchair her entire life. That's a crazy disease, bro.

The Munchausen by proxy, right? It's just like wanting someone else to be sick so you get the attention and shit. It's just fucking odd. By the way, dude, I think you have cancer.

You might be right. Wow. Got so serious. All right, cool. Yeah. The caretaker of a child. Most often. Oh, yeah.

Let's go to this guy. All right. Just the mustache makes me interested. Okay. Low voice or high voice? I say low. I say big chin. Wow. The guy's chin isn't.

Yo, King, Sting, Wing, Sing, Nick Chin, how's everybody doing? I got a quick King or Sting it for you. Cricket teeth. I was watching football the other day, and I saw Russell Wilson get booed by Seattle. Bullshit. Yeah, I was just wondering what you guys thought. I'm a Packers fan. I wouldn't have booed far when he came back, even when he was on the Vikings.

He beat you guys. Anyway, yeah, that's my King and her Stingit. Thanks for everything you guys do. Appreciate it all. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Soar. Woo, woo, woo, woo. See, I like this guy.

I apologize for making fun of him before the question. It's a good question. It's fucked up because all the shit Russell Wilson did for the Seattle Seahawks with nothing. What, get carried by one of the greatest defenses ever? But he won the Super Bowl. And then statistically, compared to Aaron Rodgers, he has the same stats. The defense won the Super Bowl.

Legion of Doom. And the second year, he threw an interception instead of winning the Super Bowl. Look at his stats compared to Aaron Rodgers. And then he was fighting and fighting and fighting and fighting. They never signed anybody. Yeah. And they tried trading him before he wanted out. But, Eric, you think it's okay to boo a guy?

Yeah, because he forced his way out. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. No, they wanted to trade him. He forced his way out. No, they tried trading him. And he's like, oh, fuck that. I'm out, dude.

They tried to trade him because he wanted out. No, before that, that's what made him want out. He found out they were trying to trade him. He wanted out because the system wasn't for him. You got it wrong. You got it wrong. He found out they were trying to trade him, so he's like, fuck y'all. No.

Now he's with my Denver Broncos. He forced his way out. Now he's with my Denver Broncos. He's the one that put out a thing talking about, these are the four teams I want to play with. Yeah. None of those teams wanted him. The Broncos wanted him. We got him.

And look what's happening. You're all in two. We're one and one, daddy. You're 0-2. We're 1-1. We just beat Houston. Who's your team? Sucky. Who's your team? Sucky Houston. Alright. Oh. Why? Houston sucks. But why's that your team? No, no. I'm not saying Houston's my team. I'm saying Houston sucks. They didn't do anything.

It's early in the year. Russell Wilson balled out. He got booed by his home team. He got booed by Denver yesterday or Sunday because he was playing like shit. Maybe there were ghosts in the stand. Maybe he wasn't being booed. They were just, ooh. Maybe they were ghosts.

Now, Nick, like this, when I was in Appleton, Wisconsin, I drove 30 minutes and went to Lambeau Field. That place is magic. Yeah, I'll be in Peoria. I was just in Milwaukee. Thanks for all the people that came out. A lot of King of the Sting fans came. Thank you, Milwaukee.

I got to show them Savannah. Dude, I think that Russell Wilson is one of those guys that just play football, stop trying to pretend you have a personality on the internet. He doesn't. It's Sierra, his wife, who's always out there. You know he's so

insecure that they can't play Futures music during the warm-up in the stadium. That is something I don't believe. The baby mama, the baby daddy's future I don't believe that dude Facts You know why you should listen Why

Because you don't know sports at all Did you just download the information No I'm trying to contain my anger I think that even if Russell Wilson did say that He was probably like Don't play that shit I'm fucking trying to get all in the thing. It's like I kind of understand that, to be honest. Oh, I'm with him.

Yeah. Now the son's name is Future. It is? Yeah. Little Future. Future Junior. Mini Future. Well, that's kind of sucks to be around the house.

Yeah. But Russell's always like he's like a super dad. I would call him Past. Hey, Little Past. You know what I mean, he's like a super dad. I would call him past. Hey, little past. You know what I mean? Yeah. Future's a time piece. The hottest is when Future was asked about whatever food that was,

and he said, sensational. Bro, I would have kissed him right there. He's hot as fuck, dude. I'd fuck Future. Okay, you said it. I would, too. Yeah, I'm saying. I'm not gay, but is it about a red wine and Jared Leto late at night?

All right. It's not. No. Future. Future's way hotter than Jared Leto. They're both hot, right? Let's be cool. No, Jared Leto is waify, dude.

Future's hot as fuck. Define waify, dude. Define waify. He's thin as shit. And like, it's just like, he's not manly. Future's like, look at that, bro.

I'm not even fucking around. That guy's a good looking dude. Compared to Jared Leto? I think he's better. I think he's better. I bet his secretions are fucking unbelievable. Yeah, he'll nut in your mouth hard.

But the thing is about, Jared Leto is 50 something, dude. Oh shit, Future's in. Yeah, Future won't look that good at 50. I'll give you that. No, no, no. Black don't crack. Yeah, but sometimes they get puffy.

Jared Leto's 50, bro. He's been famous. He's waifu, bro. Oh, bro. Come on. He's all done up, bro. He's all done up. He's in forehead.

So you're also attracted to Steven Tyler? No. Steven Tyler looks like a fucking warlock next to him. He's all done up, bro. Steven Tyler does so many drugs. You can see the makeup on him. No, I do. I've seen her in person to him. He's all done up, bro. Steven Tyler does so many jobs. You can see the makeup on him. No, I do. I've seen her in person.

Her? I've seen her in person? Yeah, what are you talking about? Oh, well, that's my grandma who passed away. God, that's... If she lost weight. Yeah, if she lost weight. And we would be live streaming...

This was your grandma's goal weight. Yes. That's why my grandma swam all the time. That's why she was... But she didn't realize that eating king-size steak or bars all the time's goal weight. Yes. That's why my grandma swam all the time. That's why she was swimming. But she didn't realize that eating king-size snaker bars all the time would add weight. He does look like somebody's grandma. God damn, Steven Tyler. What happened?

But he's like 80 looking like that, though. Fucking Jared Leto's 53? All right. Flawless. He looks younger than anybody in here. I don't. Come on. Wait, what?

He looks younger than anybody in here. He's 53. Well, in that picture, but he's got makeup on and it's fucking. Okay don't. Come on. Wait, what? He looks younger than anybody in here. He's 53. Well, in that picture, but he's got makeup on and it's fucking. Okay, okay. Put makeup on me, bro. I look fucking crazy good. No, no, no. And he can sing?

I don't know. Me too, dude. Not like that. 30 seconds to Mars? You do have some handbags going on right now. Yeah, I know. But put some makeup on me, bro. I look fantastic.

Okay. All right. Wider than Chris. I'm taking this thing in the wing. Big fan. Not going to lie. bro i look fantastic all right wider than chris this thing in the wing big fan not gonna lie chrystal is the one that brought me over but i'm loving all of you guys um my name is nicole um i'm 26 and i've got a king or stinging for you twilight rocking the grays naturally oh yeah oh she's 26 oh yeah she's jean gray She's Jean Grey from X-Men

Yeah Are you down? Yeah Eric Or should I dye my fucking hair? Vibe with me on this Jean Grey It's Rogue

Who had the The white hair Would you stop talking about Comic book stuff I knew it was Rogue Thank you Jean Grey Bring up Jean Grey

Nick I think they're off Also I get Daddy has some grays And I dyed it before And everyone told me not to. Yeah, don't. Yeah, don't. I look like Jay Leno.

Well, I mean, you don't look like Jay Leno. I look like Jay Leno. Dude, I want to have... I think it's awesome to have grey hair like that. Me too. But also, if you dyed,

it would look good too. Nah, but don't dye it. I mean, chicks dye their fucking hair, you know? That's a girl from Game of Thrones. She tried getting out of the Game of Thrones. She's also an attractive female Oh she could shave her head

Now pull up Rogue Hey don't pull up the actors Pull up the fucking cartoon We ain't talking about actors This is what they did That's Rogue See Rogue That's what I'm talking about

Fuck yeah there you go that girl's Rogue Get a Rogue tattoo Boom. See? Rogue. That's what I'm talking about. Fuck yeah. There you go. That girl's rogue. Yeah, that's hot, bro. Get a rogue tattoo. That's hot. I mean, it's mostly her body and face. Do those comic books back in the day?

I don't know if they're woke now and the girls are extra thick and whatever. Yeah, they definitely are. But now, back then, dude. The rogue in Storm in the comic books? Daddy was young and jacking, boys. Rogue? The rogue, and jacking, boys. Rogue? So Rogue, right? Rogue is bad.

You were totally wrong about Jean Grey. I said Rogue. I think so. Okay, so to get back to what this girl's saying, I think that she should do whatever makes her comfortable. She's lucky she's in a situation that she's a very attractive female. Yeah, her hair could be green. Yeah, it's not like we're talking about

a fucking librarian and shit. Her eyes are ridiculous. And it actually looks kind of nice. It's like a nice little streak. It's a little flair. It's also a conversation story. Honestly, some women might just do this just to fucking put it in there.

But I also think you'd look good if you colored it in, you know? I think it makes her unique. Or just did whatever girls do. You know how they always do in their hair? Yeah point yeah so it doesn't even matter yeah i like this but yeah but don't you know thank you for being and we're glad we brought you over to this show whatever it's called now and um you know thanks for listening and congratulations i'm on the show too just she does look like yeah she does look like rogue from the movie. Yeah, a little bit.

She's hotter than Anna Paquin, though. She's actually better looking than Anna Paquin. It's Anna Paquin, I know. Okay. Yeah, cool. What's up, Nick? Oh. What's up with all the attractive people?

I'm interesting. Rodeome. Yes, it feels fantastic. Nah. Pull over. The real gets your blood rushing. But also dangerous. Nah. Pull over. Drill gets your blood rushing. But also dangerous. Yeah.

Going down to 405, getting sucked off. You hit traffic. It's dangerous. But it feels good. So Kingdurr, sting it. Road dome. Honestly, dude, it's too much unless she's really about it and she's driving and she does it and it's a six and you're in the passenger seat it's a six speed then she's about it bro

then she's about it yeah yeah you're swerving all over the shit oh what oh left left right yeah um that here's the deal uh i i don't there it comes a point where it's just like just pull over and focus on it. You boring though, huh? Nah, bro. I'm not. I want to feel all of it. No spontaneous here.

Like if you're in like a higher car, okay. But like if you're like in some little car and you're on the 405, people are driving by like, what up? You know what I mean? Oh, you like that. You're saying. I don't know. I don't say it. It's rare I vouch for Teslas

because I can't fucking stand them, but they do drive themselves. You can put it in that driver mode and get that big. So she could be driving. Oh, yeah. Sucking. Driving and sucking. Shout out to Teslas. The only good thing about them. She's giving you head, huh, the Tesla? Tesla, you're about to bust.

That's what they should call not drive yourself, self-drive. Just call it head mode. No, suck off mode. Head mode. Head mode. Enjoy. Then all of a sudden, like, the lights dim. A little ball comes out.

That is such an Eric Griffin joke, bro. That is such an Eric Griffin joke. The. That is such an Eric Griffin joke. The lights dim, and then the thing comes down, and they're like, you know, you'll never find. It's just some sexy music.

Michael Bogle in the backseat. You'll be loved, Lord of healing. And then it goes, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, yeah. I got that. I wish Tesla did that.

Yeah. Head mode. Head mode, dude. You'll see me doing this at the improv this weekend. Yo, get the fuck out of here with the phone. I wish Tesla did that. Yeah. Head mode. Head mode, dude. You'll see me doing this at the improv this weekend. Yo, get the fuck out of here with the everyone. Good guy and girl. What's up with the good looking shit? Hey, the show changes and look what happened.

Jesus, bro. Feel left. The people got better. God damn. Everyone's hot as shit. Future's next. Future goes, hey, what's up? I just want to say The show is sensational

The show's sensational Alright And I heard there was Some talk about Sucking my dick Someone said head mode She got a little Uma Thurman going on

Hey guys I have a King and her Sting it for you Bangs No Everyone told me not to do it But then I went ahead And did it

And now everyone says How cute they are So I need to know If it's pretty cuteness Because I already did it And now They can't say that exactly. So I need to know if it's because of cuteness because I already did it and now they can't say that exactly. She pulls it off though.

She does. But also, you Kelly Kapowski? Let me know what you think. I will say, I can't put my hair behind my ears because now I look

like Tiger King and that's not what I'm going for. Oh, Carol Baskin. But otherwise, love them. It's cute.

So let me know what you think. She pulls it off. She does. She does. She does. What are we supposed to say? You should wear bangs though, right? Cover your forehead. Yeah let me know what you think. She pulls it off. She does. She does. She does. What are we supposed to say? You should wear bangs though, right?

Cover your forehead. Yeah, I should get bangs. Yeah, bang it up. I think that bangs is always kind of a no-no. For him to have bangs, it'll still be the same length of hair from the back. You know what I mean? Oh, wow. Yeah, but go bang him.

His bang hair will still be like this. Dude. Bang him. Just to cover his forehead. You pull the bangs There's another face Hey Nick I don't think she's referencing him

I think she's referencing Kirill Baskin Because she did the bangs With the hair I think Bro fucking wait Till we're done laughing At my joke

To say that bro God damn it We need to experience Hit him with the No I'll do it That's a good one ChrisLeah.com Dude I feel...

And I'm getting a woo, woo, woo one. No, she looks great on it. I'm going to be honest. She looks great with the bangs. Not a fan of bangs. I am not a fan of bangs. Thank you. That's all I'm saying.

I think that probably she might... I would... I can't... I don't ever see her. She probably looks better without bangs, but... Hey, here's the thing. She does look great with bangs. She's an attractive girl her She probably looks better without bangs But Hey here's the thing She does look great with bangs She's an attractive girl

Yeah She could have fucking dreadlocks And pull it off Right If you're sexy enough You can have Shave your head She could be full dreadlock

We're talking about preference Not a fan of bangs As long as she looks good I would give a fuck Yeah Okay As long as She can pull it off

Okay It's more To me bangs is more of a You should have bangs though Yeah Yeah It's more of a Bangs is like to me

Like it's like a kink It's like Okay that was fun Now where's your real hair You know what I mean Like if we're gonna be In a relationship Let's grow it out

Yeah but also Bangs a little bit like Pedophilia Right Like it's a very Like high school Like middle school Oh I see what you're saying

Like a cutesy thing Yeah right Like my man always wants To be in pigtails and bangs pedophilia, right? Like, it's a very, like, high school, like, middle school thing to do. Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, a cutesy thing? Yeah, right? Like, my man always wants to be in pigtails and bangs. Like, and suspenders. It's a cutesy thing, yeah. I've never heard bangs. I've never heard bangs in that context. Name a grown woman rocking bangs.

Yeah. It's kids in sixth grade. Well, I mean, Rachel always asks me about that. Should I get bangs? I'm like, no. I don't know. No. Although, if you want her not to get hit on.

But she said I know right I gotta send her out Girl you know what's so hot to me Dreads Future You know when you wear Baggy clothes Yeah

I bring a nun outfit out You know what's cute A habit You know what I'm vibing with lately On the Arabic culture They just cover their face Yeah yeah Show your eyes

Just your eyes I think that I think that it's One of those things In Arabic culture, they just cover their face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show your eyes. Just your eyes. I think that it's one of those things that you've got to be able to pull off, but it's not necessarily something that guys like, bangs. If you're fine, you're fine. I think women are like, ooh, cute bangs. But you're talking to your – First of all, all the shit that they do is just for them. True.

Yeah, they're for us. How often are you like you might your girl gets her hair done right and you just kind of go oh it looks great you know because but it's just like it all looks great right yeah but they doing this for like well i wanted to do this don't say you're doing the shit for me because it looks fun everything you everything you do looks great you know so i don't know what hair like what hairstyle have you ever thought maybe you have a preference you might be like oh I like when you do your hair like this. Or different colors.

My girl likes to dye her hair. I'm like, do this color. I'm her Kanye. She's Kim. All right? I dress her. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

That sounds scary. I want to dye my hair fucking just something. I'll dye my hair with you. I've never dyed my hair in my life. I've dyed mine like a mint blue. Well, that's not true. I used to put more. I felt like I was getting too great, so I would dye.

Because I had my mustache dyed. Just for men? Yeah. Even when I was doing up here. When I was doing up here, it had to be dark. So then you're doing stuff. Oh, my God. Actually, that looks kind of cool.

Thanks, man. I look like Anderson Cooper on steroids. Yeah, that's cool. I look like I just suck. I just don't like when people do that and then their facial hair isn't. The problem is I went in the ocean. That's why I want to go gray on my top. Right.

Just two studs in there. I see what you're doing there. I think I'd look cool. I think I'd look better with gray. I think I'll look. I want to be gray. I think you should go dye your hair all silver. Yeah.

You know what? I would do that. That would look so dope on you. I'm going to try to do that. He'll look like Rogue. See, I went in the ocean, then my hair just went really south. I guess you're not supposed to go in the ocean

with your hair dyed. Nobody told me. Oh, really? Oh, and then it goes green, right? Or some shit. It was a nightmare. Yeah, yeah. It looks like your hat.

That's the color of his hair. What did you do? Did you shave your head or something? Or what did you do? I just laughed and looked like shit. I just looked like a big gay guy. Nick's laughing too hard uh what's up boys isaiah from california la checking in with you guys with the king there

or sting it you're from irvine we know anime i know it's become more amazing recently um and i know theo's probably saying something about me just watching myself draw. But yeah, it's become more mainstream. I like it. You know what's weird about anime? Is there's anime porn. Who's watching cartoons? Fuck.

Yeah, no, I don't understand that at all. And you know what? You know what that was? That was a bait. That was a bait. I knew you did. I love that shit. Of course you did.

I don't understand it at all. I don't understand it at all. It's the best, man. Especially the ones where it's like an alien and it's like all the tentacles are in every single hole. What are you doing to me? Interesting. Anime's great. I knew you were going to bite that.

I knew you were going to jump on it. Let me ask you a question. You know why I love anime? Because no real women are being hurt. What do you say to that, you know? Oh, yeah, me too, man. Yeah, yeah. Challenge that.

Me too is right. Yeah, yeah. Hey, by being hurt, you mean giant big dicks? I think that. They signed up for that, dude. No, but hold on. Everyone's having fun. It's not necessarily true.

And then OnlyFans comes along And they have all ownership of it What are we doing here? I think a lot of those women would rather be scientists I think you'd be surprised It's just harder to be a scientist Wow, wait, can I tell you something? That was the best Backhanded compliment

That was the best backhanded compliment. Yeah, yeah. Like, that was, that was spectacular. Well, you're welcome. Honestly, that was by design. That was one of your best. Yeah, thank you. Don't be a scientist. I think that, like, you're watching porn and you see, like, the family guy porn on the banner. Who the fuck clicks on that?

That guy, that guy. No, I know what you like. You like the weird, like, is this by David Cronenberg type fucking? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a good story on it. It's like a revenge. The porn doesn't even start until 30 minutes in. Yeah, yeah.

There's a thing, like this kid was left someplace. But Eric, you'll actually. They had to fight through the thing. And you love. Yakuza is there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you love sounds like this. You know what I mean?

You love that kind of shit. You like the alien part? Yeah, he likes it. Oh, I like the alien stuff. But are you watching it just for the story? No. Or you're actually jacking it to like aliens? Oh, no.

Yeah, I've had a good... To get his dick... How do you get aroused by a cartoon? Yep. Well, he's twisted. Yeah. He's twisted. There you go. And it's all good. We're all twisted in our own a cartoon? Yep. Well, he's twisted. He's twisted. And it's all good. We're all twisted

in our own ways, but his shit is that. You're going to judge me. No, no. No, fuck no. As a matter of fact, the fact that you like that gets me fucking horny. I can see that. It doesn't get me horny, but I'll be damned, man.

I enjoy you talking about it. You getting hard about it makes me hard about it. Should I have bangs now? Yeah. One more. The hottest cartoon is Jessica Radford. Oh, it's Justin Timberlake. Yo, guys.

It's your boy Patrick from the UK. I mean, obviously. From the UK. Camping at music festivals or staying in a hotel? If you camp, you get the true festival experience. Is someone else operating this guy? You get very dirty, smelly. I think that's what it's all about.

Is he a hostage? If you have a hotel, you can freshen up for the next day. Always stay clean. Always look your best. I'm so nervous. Let me know what you guys think. Gang, gang. Buzz buzz.

Soul. Woo, woo, woo, woo. So nervous. I want to tell you this. The only part he wasn't nervous was the singing part. I don't know, man. The singing makes you feel good. By the way, can I go for a second here?

Sure. You have to stay in the hotel, bro, because look to the right of him. He's got a little baby carriage thing right there. So you're not going to be out camping if you're out at a music festival with your kid. Well, he might be home now and he has the kids. True, yeah. He's talking about before. He's not in a hotel right now.

So you're talking about camping or a hotel? Well, if you go to Burning Man, right, you have to take an RV or I guess you could stay in a hotel and go track through the night. I don't know how it works. And neither do I, and I'm not about that kind of shit. I'm know how it works. And neither do I and I'm not about that. I'm not about that life. No way, bro. I'm not about that life. Yeah, but to me camping is the same as getting a what a thing you like to

get. You don't like hotels, you know? Oh, you like Airbnbs? Yeah. Now fuck all that shit. Although I did an Airbnb in Ontario. Thank you. Oh yeah, no shit. Airbnb in Ontario? My daddy's staying in a hotel in Boston now. I've got no sleep in there. Bro, Airbnb is-

Well, the club's in the hotel. So you know what I mean? It's a great hotel. You never know what you're going to get with an Airbnb, dude. Yeah, you do, though. And you got to clear out all the moths and spiders and shit. What Airbnb did you rent? No, no.

A fucking nice house, bro. You know what, though? His thing is not about the difference. His thing is about he wants other people with him. You don't like being alone. Well, just get adjoining rooms, bro. I hate when you go to a hotel and you want to get adjoining rooms and they make a big deal out of it. Oh, I know.

Like what? Let's say we go on a tour or something. We go on to do comedy, which we might do. Guy from Workaholics wants a joining room. What do you mean they make a fucking big deal out of it? No, no.

They make it out like it's like they can't do it. They're always kind of like, oh, well, we don't have... We can put you on the same floor. Yeah, like,

give me the fucking adjoining room, bitch. I got problems. I need to fucking connect. And you just think Brandon just, Chris! Chris, you up? Chris Chris you up Chris you up

I can't sleep Banging on the door Chris I can't sleep Hey Eric You still jacking off the anime Yeah yeah yeah Through the door

All you hear is Yeah yeah Or what it is Yeah Ew Ew dude And I feel sick You always

You always are Too much The grossest on the show Hey You push me towards it So Alright fair enough You know what I mean Fair enough it's me too You poked a bear I take Dude. And I feel sick. You always are the grossest on the show. Hey, you pushed me towards it. All right. Fair enough. You know what I mean?

Fair enough. It's me too. You poke the bear. I take. You poke the bear, you get the. The dumbest quote. Wait. All right. So, yeah.

Well, what if they. Well, hold on a second, though. What if they don't have adjoining rooms left? But why? My thing is like. It's like, how about this? You see. I'm coming on a reservation.

I book a reservation with this hotel. And it clearly says I want three rooms. Fucking, that should be a give. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? That's a good point. Why the fuck are you giving us rooms all over the place? That's true.

You know what I mean? They don't want to do the extra work that it takes to fucking connect it. You know what I say? I get that. I need the rooms joined. And they go, we can't do that. I go, okay. No, but I'm just saying it's like, yeah, so I would be in a hotel.

I don't care where I'm going. I like being in a hotel. But if I'm with my friends and stuff. Nice hotels. By the way, too, though, I don't know if I want to. Like, he would be good for adjoining rooms because he wants his room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?

But, like, sometimes I don't want to be even on the same floor. If we go someplace, let's say we're on an adjoining vacation with our wives, right? Yeah. I don't want to be near you. No. Yeah. We just found out he's a serial killer. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't want to be on floor 10, you on the left. I understand, yeah. He doesn't want us judging him. No, I don't need to be adjoined, yeah. It doesn't want us judging them. No, I don't need to be adjoined. I'm thinking about when I go on the road, now I bring Lulu and Mike Linoche.

I don't need to be on the same floor as them. Although I do bring my family a lot, so obviously they don't stay on different floors. Cal's on floor two, I'm on floor ten. No, but in that case, but I'm saying in that situation, you get in two rooms, maybe you do want to have an adjoining room because you have your – you know what I mean?

Yes, yeah, yeah. You get a suite or something. I don't know. I just feel like I don't – I hate – if there's any hotel people out there, why don't you just give the damn adjoining rooms? Why is it always a freaking hassle? I'll tell you why I think. I think it's because a computer does it when you order the thing. They just pick the fucking rooms.

They don't do it together. No, I think they don't want to give you anything extra. It feels like you're getting something like, you know, you're getting something extra. Like, let's say the room is $200 a night and now you have two rooms. It feels like, oh, this should be more like $800 a night. Oh, you're buying a suite. Yeah. Yeah.

Why don't you just buy a suite? All you can sleep in. That's not what I want to do. I want to be able to shut the door and get away from it. By the way, I always want to get the suite, dude. I'm going to Adam Ray's wedding. Are you guys, you're not buddies. I know you're cool with him, but you're not going to the wedding, are you? I'm not going to the wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Cool. Dude, I didn't go to Eric's wedding. Are you guys, you're not buddies. I know you're cool with them, but you're not going to the wedding,

are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, cool. Dude, I didn't go to Eric's wedding. Right, right, right. It's very rare I go to Eric's wedding.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't want to go to my grandma's funeral. My dad's giving me a guilt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But yeah, I think the fucking hotel's already sold out.

It's a fucking, did you get your room yet? No, I didn't. Oh, Rachel's going to be upset. But he said that there's like three hotels that everyone stayed at. Because I want to get a suite. What city? Phoenix.

In Arizona. All right, Tempe. There's so many hotels. Oh, no, no, no. I know. It'll be fine. No, but his particular hotel where the wedding is. But he did say.

I don't know if the wedding is at a hotel or not. Do you know? Yeah, I think it is. I think it's at this spot. That's annoying. God damn it. All right. Whatever.

Can you tell me what hotel you're going to? I don't know. Yeah, but I will. I don't know yet. Oh. But I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah. Different floors. Did you tell me what hotel you're going to? I don't know. Yeah, but I will. I don't know yet. Oh. But I'll tell you. Yeah, yeah. Different floors.

Did you see this campaign ad that Adam Ray posted? You know what? I talked about it on my podcast. I haven't seen it. I talked about it on Congratulations. If you want the real hit, heat, go on over to Congratulations Super Cult Studios and subscribe. But we can talk about it here secondarily. This is real?

Yeah. Hey, Utah District 12, listen up right here. There's a new name on the ballot for the Senate this year. My name is Linda Paulson. Slow motion. Republican and awesome. Love God and family and the Constitution. Doesn't rhyme.

Bars. I'm going to get another conservative to run. Nobody could do it, so I'm getting it done. Jerking off two guys. I'm pro-living industry, pro-life, pro-police. Doesn't rhyme. Bars. Jerking off two guys. Okay, I like her. Watch this. Watch, watch. Watch this, watch this, watch this. Watch this.

Ready? Here we go. She's off. Hates gays. morality, accountability. Watch this. Ready? Here we go. Government programs should lead to self-sufficiency and support traditional family as the fundamental unit of society. But in schools, they're pushing for new beliefs. You know she's so racist. Yeah, I'm voting for her. How's my vote? If you even say blacks around her,

she goes like this. Even worse, she goes like this. No, even worse. Even worse, she goes like this. Give me a beat. And her husband goes. There she starts. Political corruption. I'm all about family.

I think that that's like. Awesome. Good for her for trying to reach young people in a different way. Think outside the box. Yeah. Good for her for trying to reach young people in a different way. Think outside the box? Yeah. This is like when Marvel made the fucking – or not Marvel. Pixar made the fucking Lightyear with the –

Buzz Lightyear with the game. And everyone's like, what are you doing? It's so fucking transparent. Like just stick to your shit. Don't do a hip-hop album. No, but don't mix it up because we're talking about it. She got my vote out of it. She's not going to win though, bro.

With my help, she might. Why not? This in Utah talking about it. Yeah. She got my vote out of it. She's not going to win, though, bro. With my help, she might. Why not? This in Utah? Damn it. I'm in Salt Lake City in October. Why wouldn't she win? Wise guys. I'm going to have her do five minutes.

I'm going to go fucking rap. You think you could follow that? That song? Political corruption. Don't, don't. And then you come out of it. You should have her open. That'd be dope.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm thinking. Just have her do the song. But yeah, I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina, so it's crazy. Yeah, she's not there though. She's in Salt Lake City, and I'm there in October at Wiseguy's, so that's cool. Talk about being transparent. Can we just do the dates at a certain time?

No, no. I'd fucking know. Anything. You're talking about bangs? Cool. I'm in fucking Boston next week. Boston bangs. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Boston bangs.

I'll be there too. Yeah, bangs. All right, cool. I'll be there too. All right. All right. Cool. Colusa Casino, Sacramento area. Made it up. I'm going to be in Ontario Improv coming up.

His daddy was just there in Lynn Empire. I'm going to be in, so look for, you know, I'm going to have all that on ericgriffin.com later,

just later. I also actually, I'll be on there now by now. I actually also will be in, I'm doing the Tempe Improv. I picked it up. I'm doing the two nights before Adam Ray's wedding. And Skank Fest.

Actually, the day before Adam Ray's wedding, I'm going to be in Calusa Casino. Oh. So the 28th, because his wedding's on the 29th. Yeah, on the Saturday, whatever that Saturday is. You guys are getting too detailed about that wedding. And so I think it starts at. That will also be at Skank Fest, so come check me out there, too, in Vegas. Skank Fest.

All right. There you go, man. Thanks, guys. That's it, kids. come check me out there, too, in Vegas. It's Gang Fest. All right. There you go, man. Thanks, guys. That's it, kids. Thanks for watching, liking, subscribing. And then you can head on over to our Patreon. The boys are going to run it. We're running now, baby.

Yeah, we're heading over. You're talking about the Patreon? Well, yeah, you're cutting me off, so it's highly annoying. Well, I thought you were going to talk about Adam Ray's wedding. No, no, no. Adam Ray's wedding Patreon. That's in the comments. Brandon's cutting people off.

It's okay. It's one of his things. It's what I do. It's okay. It's one of his things. It's what I do. It's what he does, and we fucking oops him when it's all, you know. Patreon. Patreon. Yeah, Cats Plus. They're called the Cubbies.

No, I don't agree with that. I thought we meant. It wasn't Cubbies. It was the Cub. It was the Cub Club. Yeah. I also don't like that, but whatever. It's the Cubbies.

We'll figure it out, and you can join the Patreon to get extra episodes can we just vote? how about we have the Patreon people vote? we'll come up with four names you tell them what to do you don't alright

you know what we'll talk about this we'll talk about it alright we'll talk about it I'll be in Boston next week Thursday, Friday, Saturday after that San Jose

then Salt Lake City seeing Stockton and Oakland oh my god oh I can't even as far as I can go Stockton and Oakland. Oh, my God. I can't even. Gay. Stockton and Oakland. Wait, this is as far as I can get.

Stockton and Oakland. I'll be there Friday, Saturday, baby. Oh, my God. What? Well, you know Chin can suck himself off. You know what I mean? Fuck yeah. In Irvine.

All right. Wait, one more time. You just gotta have Your big nuts out like that There we go This is fucking incredible Feels good dude It looks like somebody else

Is under the bed How do you even Oh my god I can't I'm not even I think those are my legs I'm not gonna embarrass myself And do that

Yeah I can't do it You built for gay I'm gonna work on it though guys We're chilling baby Chris built for gay I'm built Chris D'Elia Built for gay. I'm built. Chris D'Elia, built for gay. Y'all just added Stevie and Eric and now y'all adding Chris? How's that gonna fit? Wait, I get the gist

I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this It's the King, the Wing, and the Sting It's the Wing and the King and the Sting Hold on, wait a minute, let me think It's the King and the Sting and the Wing Let's go King and the Sting and the Wing Brought it full circle and put on the whole team

Legendary trio, Britney, Chris, and Theo, what you mean? You know it's the King and the Sting and the Wing We'll see you next time.