The Golden Hour - Episode 32: Playing With Your Organ

Episode Date: August 15, 2019

The boys talk Bust Lamp possibilities, Louisiana Rat Hounds, Cat Snortin, Last Chance U, John Wayne vs Clint Eastwood, Triscuit Riskin, Theo witnessing a goose hit a plane, Brendan singing Phantom of the Opera, Bram Stokers Conventions, Flat Asses and much more!Wix.com - Join our Wix website competition by creating a free website at https://wix.com/go/KATS Email submissions to [e-mail] - promo code: KATSPODPostmates - promo code: KATS2019Hims - https://www.forhims.com/KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Everything you get at a gas station pretty much doesn't work except for gas except for dick pills Gas and dick pills. Oh, no drink the the syrup-uh. Oh, dude, you'll fuck a Ford. Really? Oh, damn. Yeah, you're busting a Dodge Ram. Oh, dude. Yeah. They fucking work, dude.

You'll fuck start a bird scooter on some of that stuff. Bro, one of them. You'll bust an Uber driver. You take that stuff. You gotta be careful, man. The one with the rhinoceros on it, it's for endangered species, I think. I think it has rhinoceros horn in it. Oh, bro.

One of them may turn my dick into a damn snuffleupagus, bro. May do. Mine just starts sniffing everything. Just grabbing things, fucking. Dude, my dick sneezed after one of those things. But one of them I took, I couldn't even turn my neck. I remember I was down in Miami and got a couple of them, invited this girl over,

couldn't even turn my fucking neck and she had to go home, dude. It blew up your traps, huh? Yeah, right. Sometimes it puts the blood in the wrong area. Like you put mine in my fucking hands. Oh, yeah. I just had swollen hands and feet.

Oh, I was just a limp, just a fucking limp. I was sitting there, my dick had nothing to it, but my hands are jacked, ready to go. Oh, just a lip. Just a fucking lip. I was sitting there and my dick had nothing to it, but my hands were jacked, ready to go. Oh, lip. Yeah. Just standing there like frumpel

limp skin. D, it's your girl's B-Day. Are you going to take some of those dick pills? Is it really? Yeah, it's my girl Sam's birthday. Get some of those dick pills and bust nuts, bro. Hold on. My girl Sam is an obvious euphemism for a guy. Let's be honest, bro. My girl Sam is an obvious euphemism for a guy. Let's be honest, bro.

How do you not catch this shit, man? I let you do it, bro. I want you to seem like you're smart. Yeah, but I'm not there most of your life. She was living. Well, I thought Sam, if it's a guy or a girl, I don't give a fuck. He's busting nuts. Sounds like he's doing a lot of it.

For her birthday, where do you think of getting her cum? Nah, she's going out of town for a week. Are you seriously talking like that? He talked about that to him and his girl too, man. You called her a ski shuttle. You said that. You called her a ski shuttle. Yeah, much more appropriate term than talking about C-U-M out here.

I called her a jizz wagon, I think, on stage. I don't know if she likes it or not. The old cum-a-stoga wagon, bro. See, that's the kind of stuff that you can say. Cumsaurus? What about cum-saurus? No. Not a cum-saurus?

No. Try cum-a-tops? What about the little cummer boy, huh? You take it a cum's R-S? Why is it nasty when I say it? It just is. You call it the coming boy? It just is, you little.

The little comer boy? You make her sound like a little prison victim. Tell me more about your lady. Something nice, please. First team all skeet. She's going, for her birthday, she's going back to Maine. Just to be with family. Oh, no.

Back to Maine, huh? Back to Maine, huh? Little fucking northeast cat. Come on, dog. Brendan using his math skills low key. You're just going to be shooting blanks into the wall, huh? I'm going to be busting in a sign. Probably dangerous brown, but watch the fuck out.

You hear me, bro? Keep your door locked. About time somebody blasting him instead of all the lives he's probably taking on the low. That little frickin' fuse artist, I'm sure. He's probably testing a fuse right now somewhere. D's going to be blasting some old socks, I think. I see your future now. I can see it clear.

But it's your girl's birthday, huh? How old? 29. Oh, good. That was a trap question. Yep. I like that. Legal. Seriously, where are you going to get her? Do you guys care about gifts or no? No, I mean trips. We're going to go on a trip. Go to Santa Barbara.

We'll go on a trip next year. That. Go to Santa Barbara. I just want to like, oh, we're going on a trip next year. That'll be for your birthday. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, tight move. Tight move. I mean, what do you get someone these days? Huh? You didn't get me shit for my birthday.

I got text from you. I'm still here on this fucking trap house every week. Oh, that's the gift? Yeah, bro. Oh, fuck. As you hang up more shoes and pictures of yourself in the background. I don't do this. No one does all this shit. Look at this

fucking bus lamp, though. That's the first prototype. Somebody should fill that thing up. Derek's filling it up for us. Quarter full, baby. Wow. You got ways to go. Anyone else want to contribute? That bus looks a little... Go and get that little tater tot in there for us.

Yeah, somebody put a buffalo wing in there. I think they're confused on what goes in there. Someone put ranch inside the fucking bus lamp. Dude, that's another thing going on bus lamps is different types of neat things. Put a cinnamon in yours. See what happens. Yeah, that'd be cool. Time to pay the bill.

What do we got? Let's go. You guys want to kick it off? Let's kick something, dude. Yeah, it'd be cool. Time to pay the bill. What do we got? Let's go. You guys want to kick it off? Let's kick something, dude. Awesome, man. We'll start with a little Clown My Hound, boys. Oh, yes. Yeah, let's kick something.

Not a dog. You know what I'm saying? Clown My Hound. Let's do it. All right, these first two. You don't kick them. You could shake them with your foot once if they really been shitting everywhere. This first one is Leah, a.k.a. Snaggletooth.

That's a dead dog, right? Yeah. Dead dog's cheesing like a motherfucker. What is that, the friendliest looking dog of all time? And this is obviously before and after Panafree's. Yeah, passed away clearly on the right. It also, though tricky, and you know this

better than anyone coming from New Orleans, that might be a good looking rat. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Some people just have rats for dogs, but they don't have a clue yet. Sometimes they do a nutria and they grow that face hair out. Yeah. And they do a nutria. Sometimes you think it's a dog and it's a nutria. Why that dog has a friendly face and eyebrows, I have no idea,

but I fucks with this dog. Any facts on this little fucking pooch? No, we don't have any facts on Leah the Snaggletooth. Unbelievable researching done. What do you call a Snaggletooth, though? This thing looks like a little bitch, bro. I'll be honest with you, dude. This dog, dude. First of all, in the first

picture, yeah, it's living. It's also sitting on a towel on someone's lap in a passenger seat. A real diva. You know? Second of all, it's dead in the second picture. It gave up, bro. It gave up. Look at that thing.

Gave up on life. And it's not so cute in that right one either. Look at his fucking snaggled teeth. Yeah, I think this thing could do more for itself, you know? I don't trust this hound. Yeah, Leah, bro. Nah, fam. Also, he looks like you'd lose a match with a rat.

I don't trust this thing and it's Leah on the left and a Leah on the right bro this bitch is fucking gang gang it's a rap dude

don't touch me it's a rip R.I.P. on this little bitch R.I.P. hound dog what else we got yeah we can't love every animal son and Leah gotta take an L

bro someone gotta take an L yeah yeah you've been taking it too easy for life show me a dog that's doing something Someone got staking, Al. Yeah, yeah. You've been taking it too easy for life. Show me a dog that's doing something that's out there. Yeah, I like my dog got a couple wrinkles on its face.

That thing's living too fucking good. That's that Malibu hound. Yeah, that's that Malibu hound, bro. Awesome, boy. Well, up next, we got Javi the Husky and Oso the Small Mutt, and they're both males. Oh, that one's humping the other one's face? Oh, is that a monkey? Is that Abu? They got any audio with it?

Damn, why is that dog fucking the other one's ear? People are weird, bro. Can you zoom in or something on this? What's happening here, bro? Here's the thing about huskies. That's as big as I can get it. They're the West Hollywood dudes of the fucking hounds. There's no way to zoom in on this at all?

Nah, since the video, we can't. One of them has a little hat on, huh? I can't. What kind of dog is that on the left, too? It's a small mutt, the little one. That's a monkey. It looks like a monkey. Yeah, you got to learn about animals.

Whoever sent this in. Who sent this in? Zavi? Hey, that might be a large squirrel fucking a husky. Which is actually pretty cool when you think about it. Dude, this is like kind of like Lilo and Stitch a little bit but for fucking, you know.

This seems outlandish. I don't even want to watch this kind of stuff, dude. This seems like a deleted scene from Noah's Ark. This seems like a deleted scene from Snow Dogs. Yeah, bro. This looks like fucking... Get these little delinquent hounds off my fucking face. What else you got?

Yeah. Don't anybody have a decent animal out there? Doesn't anyone have a nice thoroughbred hound these days? Hashtag America. How about Pisu the cat? This is Pisu the cat. Oh, that's what's up. Yeah, I fucks with that.

He's a little too relaxed for me, but I fucks with that. What do you mean he's too relaxed, dude? He's a cat. Nah, I like to keep my cats on guard, bro. He's a little too comfortable in the home there. Also, same color as the pillow. Yeah, but that's all right. Those are other cats that came before him.

It's probably his grandparents. Good point. It's a family tree. I love Isu. What's his name? Pisu, and it means piss and finish. Gang, bro. Piss and finish?

A lot of cats pissing, dude, so I'm not shocked that he went with that moniker. Yeah, this is a beautiful white cat, dude. I like to see, you know, everybody's ripping white people in the media these days. I like to see a white something white that's doing something, you know, and people aren't fucking ripping him up. There's, you know, 98% of whites are great. And this is one example of it right here,

this little gato con blanco, papa. Yeah, that's that pure Colombian right there, just that pure white cat. I'll do six grams of this guy's fuckinganco, papa. Yeah, that's that pure Colombian right there. Just that pure white cat. I'll do six grams of this guy's fucking fur, bro. That thing, look at the fur on that shit. He's a little too proud to be white. Looks like he's a fucking white supremacist. A little too relaxed, you know what I'm saying?

With the pink and the eyes. I don't trust him either. I don't trust any of these animals. I trust this one, dude. What was his fur cut with? Baby powder, bro? That shit looks... He does look soft. Look at his pupils, though, bro.

Dog, I'll stuff that cat into my nose, bro. That cat looks like it'll fucking keep you up all night. You know what I'm saying, bro? Make some bad decisions. You snuff this cat. Oh, boy. I'll do that cat off a stripper's back, boy. You feel me?

That little Cinderella right there. That's that Cinderella hitter, isn't it? What else you got, D? Here's an ad from the king of the sting. Up next, we'll do a little debate club. We got debate club, boys. Up first, this is from Andy from Newport News, Virginia. Brendan, Theo, what up?

Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Coming into this video here. Two three and outs on my last two drives. Trying to get a first down here. Let's try it again. Apparently my first two videos weren't funny enough for you. I got a little debate club for you. Let's go with what is better, the National Football League or college football?

Brendan, this especially pertains to you. I was just wondering, maybe trying out for nose guard for the Patriots next week. You know, saw what the scales were saying about you, so. Damn. I don't know, you big old brick shithouse, you. Anyway, gang, gang, gang. Dude, here's why I like the NFL, because someone's getting paid. NCAA, you're basically watching Django with football helmets on.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think you might be on to something there. I like, what do I like, NCAA? Tom Brady's 48 years old, and he's getting paid $21 million a season now. He's just busting nuts and a supermodel throwing touchdowns. That's why I like the NFL. Also, you got the Cleveland Browns. They were shit two years

ago. Now they're the shit. Well, we'll see if they're good. They also have one of the biggest egos in the game, Ordale Bickham, and whatever the other guy's name is. Baker Mayfield is awesome. Just because you interviewed the guy from Last Chance U, don't talk football with me.

That guy might be your daddy. That guy might Last Chance U. Don't talk football with me. You two trying to figure things out was rough. That guy might be your daddy. You guys are covered with the same cloth. I saw an interview and both of you guys had the same answer. What's the number one thing you overcame this year? You both said a Quentin Tarantino

movie. I don't even get that joke, but I'll say this, dude. He did coach Division 5 football. So I'm sure you guys is passive-crossed, bro. What I'll say is this, dude. The NFL, I think is

I like watching that end product a little bit better because I think I was just raised more in it as a Saints fan. You weren't an LSU fan? College football, I was a little bit, but not crazy. There's nothing like big-time college football. Well, which one is it? You just said NFL.

Well, hold on, hold on. You got the bands playing. You got the alumni there. Yeah. You got the boosters. I agree. Nobody getting paid except for the college. Yeah.

And the kids aren't jaded, really, so they're playing for the love of the fucking LSU Tigers or Colorado Buffaloes however it's a little sad though it is sad cause you know most of them are going to go on and do fucking last chance to you most likely but most of them I think you're still getting the dreamers out there at a certain point with the NFL it gets a little bit different especially with the contracts

as big as they are in the NFL are most of these guys even still playing to play or are they just playing to are in the NFL, are most of these guys even still playing to play or are they just playing to stay in the pay grade? I don't give a fuck. I think you do, though. The great ones don't care. I think some of that gets effective once it's like,

oh, shit, if I play so hard that I'm going to kill myself or that I'm going to get hurt, then am I going to play as hard? Because I got to be back next year to make the money. It's like you got to come back and make the money. Whereas college, yeah, I think you still get a lot of action Jacksons out there. You know, a lot of people that are in it for the love of the game. I'm going to go college.

I'll go college, dude. I'm going to NFL just because, like I said, college is 12 years a slave with football helmets on. I don't fuck with it. Yeah, but college is also a lot of those guys wouldn't even be going to college if it weren't for football. That's not a good argument. That's what the slave drivers say.

They say, well, they're getting education. No, they're not. They're majoring in football. Some of those dudes came in to read and they get degrees. They don't learn shit. If they don't want to learn to read, that's their fucking shit, bro. No, it's not because they're not encouraging them to read. They're encouraging them to catch footballs. They make millions of dollars off of them.

Look, I agree the colleges are making money. They should share it with the players. I agree with that. But I don't think that the players shouldn't be held accountable at all. If they don't want to get education, then look, here's the thing. They either make it to the pros or let's be honest, if you're a tall black guy, you go work at the airport after. So it's one or the other, bro. But I'm just saying it's like we got to take responsibility for

ourselves. It's like, you know, it ain't the college's fault to fucking give you an education. Now, I would demand that they give you four years whether you get injured or not, that you get to finish your degree no matter what. Some of them do. I would demand that. And I think some of these guys should have more negotiating. I think they should get a fund

that, you know, five years down the road or two years or whenever that they start getting paid. Especially if they're selling jerseys and shit. Oh, dude. You kidding me? The colleges are making so much money, bro. And then the colleges don't care if people get educated anymore.

It just becomes about football. No, they don't care as long as you're moving tickets. Also, they'll be cool and the teachers let you pass classes in season. As soon as season's done, you're fucked. Yeah?

Oh, yeah. Dude, I remember... Oh, fuck, I don't even remember. You would think you played football for 20 years. I did. 69% went with NFL. Yeah, it's just a different animal. Because you don't feel as sleazy watching it.

You know those dudes are all going to have brain trauma in four years? It's kind of what you signed up for. I like when people complain about brain trauma in the NFL or fighting. It's like complaining fucking. Yeah, that you got sugar on your shirt if you a baker. You a fucking baker, you idiot. Or if you're fucking Michael Phelps and get wet. Save your crime to somebody else, bro.

That's what I'm saying. A lot of this shit, everybody's just. That's what happens, man. They're warriors. Yeah, dude. I know if I come on King of the Sting, I'm going to say dumb shit if I'm working with you. And you're going to say dumb shit. That's what happens when we get together.

That's what we do. Yeah, dude. I ain't going to file a lawsuit in two years. Oh, man, I was saying all this dumb shit. No, man, that's what you signed up for. A couple of dumbasses when we get together. Up next, we got Randy from Harrisonburg. Wait, hold up.

Wow, this guy sounds like a real rapist. Do you like NCAA or NFL? NFL, man. NFL. But I mean, I do agree with Theo. Yeah, they should pay the players and all that. But hey, learn to read, bro. You know what I mean?

Take a second out of your day. That's not the culture, bro. That's not the culture to read a book. That's not how it's brought up. They don't force it on you. You're majoring in football. The world says you should learn to read. That's you.

Even caves and hieroglyphics, they had a couple little words up there. Cat, lamp, fire. Alien. Yeah. Pyramid. Yeah, dude. Well, they're reading signs, though. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, but you watch a lot. I mean, some of these kids, they don't give a fuck about... If you know that one out of 300 guys makes it out of college, then you gotta do a little bit of your studying, man. I'm with you, man. You're preaching on fire. Am I? Because you take another side. Do you even know a different side?

I'm just telling you how it is for the majority of them. I went through the program. I know exactly what the fuck they're doing. I got a double major because I knew my ass wasn't going to go to the NFL. Did you? Yeah. Ask your mom. I don't believe you got a double major, dude. I bet you were in some shitty band, I bet. Is there any

pitchers of you playing ball? Let's keep this fucking train moving. This is Randy, boys. We got Randy from Harrisonburg. Big Randy. What's up, Brendan? What's up, Theo? Coming at you from Harrisonburg, Virginia, and I got a debate club for you guys today. Last time, you guys were debating on cinema,

and I wanted to know what you guys think about if you're going to watch a Western, are you going to watch a John Wayne Western, or are you going to watch a Clint Eastwood Western? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. And for Derek and Kat, culture, culture. Culture, culture.

Damn, culture, culture, culture culture here's the thing the real question is who's more racist John Wayne and Clint Eastwood what is your deal man everything's racist right now dude I'm just saying we go back in time also here's the thing were they racist or was that just the way it was

back then for John Wayne that was just the time people want to bring up John Wayne tweets and shit. Do they really? Yeah. Try to drag him under the bus. No pun intended. I'm just saying. John Wayne had Twitter?

They tried to drag him under the bus for saying shit against black people in 1930. What's the culture corner think though? He was in 1930. That's what I'm saying. It just never ends. At a certain 1930. What's the culture corner thing, though? He was in 1930. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. It just never ends. At a certain point, people are fucked hard if you're dragging people through the past.

And he's dead. Also, Clint Eastwood's 90, still in movies, directing, doing the damn thing. And Clint Eastwood, you want to talk about bus lamps? His entire world was a bus lamp. He fucked plane stewardess. He fucked restaurant owners. He has so many kids.

Yeah. Hell yeah. Dude, that's Clint Eastwood. To me, it's Clint Eastwood all day. I didn't grow up with John Wayne. Also, I understand it was the 30s. He's definitely racist. Well, first of all, dude, if you were alive in the 30s, you would probably be racist too,

dude. All right? Yeah. You had no argument there. So, dude, we got to be understanding of where people were, dude. Alright? Yeah, you had no argument there. So, just, we gotta be understanding of where people were, dude. I'm understanding. I'm saying I like Clint Eastwood more. He made Million Dollar Baby.

He made The Mule, which I fucking hated. But either way, he directed and starred in it, and he's 97 years old. Dude, at a certain point, let's quit saying starred in it as opposed to wandered around the set. It's getting a little bit wild right and they just i think this is an unfair topic because most of our listeners and

even myself barely know who john wayne is preach you know john wayne anything it's a porn guy you know yeah i thought john wayne was in black i thought john wayne was a guy who banged uh farrah abrams you. But I respect this guy. Bruce Wood doesn't miss either, bro. He makes great movies. I'm too young for John Wayne. I couldn't name one movie. All I know is he got brought up recently in the news for being racist.

And it was the 30s, so he gets a pass. But it's also the news. Everybody's racist in the news. The news is a bunch of fucktards, dude. Preach. You know what I'm saying? If the news were here right now, I'd fuck them up, bro. of fucktards preach you know what i'm saying if the news were here right now i'd fuck them up bro yeah me too this is what i give you cnn you fucktard gang bro 73 eastwood yeah yeah no one knows john eastwood dude also your name is clint

bro it's like clit with an n in it his son uh is an actor too yeah yeah? Oh, wow. You know about his son, dude? Gay guy. Okay. Wow, I can't talk about his son being in Hollywood. He was in Fast and Furious. Bro, I have no idea about Clint Eastwood's son, dude, because I'm thinking about chicks over here. You're such an idiot.

Yeah, bro. You're such an idiot. But I'm an idiot that's hanging out with tits, bro. Not you over there, bro. It's about Clint Eastwood's son. Hey, what frat did you come from, Dio? What the fuck's happening right now? You got roofies in your pocket as well?

Let me relax, bro. Dude, T-A-T, Tapa Alpha Tats, bro. I'm tapping tatas, dude. Not D-I-K over there, dude. What do you got? A thing about Clint Eastwood's son, bro? I'm not thinking about it. It's just a reference, bro. You got ice on your head, bro.

Your fucking brain is gay, bro. Let's move this shit along, dude. Up next, we got Jeff from Oklahoma City. Hell yeah. Praise God. Damn, look at that mane, bro. Jeff from Oklahoma City. Hell yeah. Praise God. Okay, see. Damn, look at that mane, bro. Hey, gang gang. Buzz buzz.

What's going on? It's Jeff here from Oklahoma City. Jeff's high as fuck. Got a debate club topic for your ass. Jeff uses the N-word. Mr. Brendan Schwab dog. When you're flying on a commercial airline flight Are you grabbing that motherfucking window seat? Or are you looking for that motherfucking aisle seat?

Word dog, good question Anyways, you know what it is Gang gang Buzz fucking buzz That's hilarious Good voice too It's that whiskey salesman Bro, here's the thing

I'm a road dog I'm on the road non-stop I'm window only, bro I know. I'm a road dog. I'm on the road nonstop. I'm window only, bro. I know you've been a road dog for 17 years. Way to go, dude. Way to go. I'm on the window, bro, so I can snuggle up, get a

nap in. The aisle? I'm way too thick for the aisle. Ain't nobody getting drinks if I sit in the aisle. If there's an emergency, no one's getting out. I take up too much room, bro. They actually asked me to sit in the window. Oh, you're the tall little Kim, dude. I wouldn't put you on the fucking aisle for nothing, bro.

I wouldn't put you in the emergency room. Every time you're like, can you help me? I say, yeah, and I'm like, fuck no, I'm getting out first. If you hand me one baby, I'll take it. But I ain't fucking waiting and pointing in the direction yeah you better come with that baby with that quickness yeah dude if you sitting in the back like some fucking some lazy fatadactyl dude then you're going down you're going down with time bro you're falling in the timeline that's science and i'm staying alive bro i feel you dog i go

windows man i like being by the window. Me too. One time, too, I was on a flight. It was a small plane, and we hit a goose or something with a propeller, and it bounced down the side of the plane, and it was pretty cool. You could just boom, boom, boom, boom. It was entertaining. Just right down the side.

And when we got there and parked, it was when we had to get out onto the tarmac and walk out of down the little stairs. And they had the goose feathers in the prop. And they had a little bit of blood on the side. See, that's entertainment you didn't have to pay for. And that's hunting, bro. Depends where, yeah, you could have ate that bird, you know?

Dude, that's what I'm saying. Put a net on the back of this bitch and let's eat when we land. That's not a bad idea. A little barbecue when you land. Gang, gang, boy. Gooses in the front, propellers in the back. Alright, let's keep it vibing, man. 65% went with the window

as well. Dude, here's the thing, too. What savages be farting on the plane? We all got to breathe that air in, bro. I woke a guy up once. He said, Joe, you got to stop, bro. Oh, he was sitting in front of me. Yeah, you have to. Oh, I shook him. I said, I know it's you. I did.

And what'd he say? I said, I know it's you. And he tried to, he said, I know it's you. That's the Lord's word. And that was it, dude. And he stopped after that. He'd done it 11 times, bro. Dude.

And his fucking wife was sitting next to him. You could tell that he beat his wife and never let her have a say in anything. Because she's not going to say it. Shit. You could tell she'd never said anything. She'd been smelling probably thousands of them. And then I saw them at the fucking baggage checkout, and I fucking looked straight at You had them down, right?

Oh, I looked straight at them. So what's up, fart magnet? Yeah, you fucking husky muppet. Fucking fartabomber. What's up, bro? Yeah, dude. I hope somebody farts in your fucking casket. All right, what else do we got?

We got some relationship advice, boys. Changing the world. Changing the world one bitch at a time. Yep. You guys, this is Pat from Sydney, Australia. This is Pat. G'day, Pat. Straight out to the Brisbane Lions.

We're on an insane win streak. Hey, what's up, fellas? First of all, gang, gang, buzz, buzz. And I'm just a lad here from Australia. Just here to show some love and appreciation for Kat, the girl in the back gang gang shows your feet damn he said you should be mine

second of all I've got a question for you all but be super serious and creepy, whatever there's a girl that I have a casual sexual arrangement with yeah we're friends but we just have sex sometimes and then she's introduced me to another one of her friends who's really cute. And I think I know her pretty well.

And I think I might like her a little bit more than that. But I'm worried about hurting my original friend's feelings. Have you got any advice for me about how I go about this? Cheers. Well, let's ask your green card wife gang, buzz, buzz down under. Let's ask your green card wife, Kat. Kat, what should he do? Let's talk about your Australian crush right now. I think he should just tell her,

because how does he know that she actually likes him and isn't just fucking him? Yeah, no one's moving forward, are they? Yeah, it doesn't seem like they have feelings for each other. They're just fucking. I'd have to know how long they've been hooking up. Yeah, Kat's ruthless with it, huh? God, Kat.

Yeah. Thought you cared a little more. Gang, gang, cut, cut. Very nice gentleman. Yeah, he does seem friendly. I'd have to know how long they've been bumping and grinding. If it's a long time, it obviously ain't going nowhere, so fuck the friend. You know what I'm saying?

Bust nuts down under, bro. But if it's what I'm saying? Bust nuts down under, bro. But if it's your friend, no, not bust nuts down under, Brendan. Why, dude? That seems like a nine-year-old who's been watching too much pornography, dog. Or Derek. Yeah. What I'm saying is, I think, this guy, you can't just fuck your friend's friend all the time, man. Okay?

Why not? Because. You're going to lose your friend, maybe. It's Australia. Yeah. Things happen there just like they happen everywhere, Brendan. Okay? It's not a mythical place in time.

They're not actors. So I think you have to try and you got to talk to the friend. Say, hey, what does your friend think? You know? Or let the sexual situation with your first friend run out before you take that opportunity, before you try it with the second friend. It's too long, bro. Too long. It's probably going to be a couple weeks.

Just tell the hot friend that you're banging for all this time, yo, your friend is hot. We should include her. See what she says. He's young. Yeah, that's true. Maybe it's like the movie or the show Euphoria. Next thing you know, you're doing drugs. You got eyeliner on

You're kind of into dudes You don't know There's techno But you're down under That show's hard I heard it's horrible Oh it's fantastic Really?

Seems like you would like it Yeah I do I love it Yeah Well You remind me Go watch it then You remind me of the dad in it Yeah that's fine dude

Go watch it You're the dad in it Yeah fine You're a buckle bunny I haven't seen it. Well, this guy should see it, and he should take notes from it and try and fuck both of them. Derek, what do you think, dude? You've obviously ruined a white girl's life by busting her constantly.

What do you have? What thoughts and suggestions do you have, my friend? Yeah, I agree. He should James Bond that shit and just try to get both of them, man. You know what I mean? Complete both missions, man. All of you guys are disgusting. Disgust are we normal.

Yeah, I'm in the culture corner. Fuck the white guy over there. First of all, this guy tried to hit on Kat in the beginning of his fucking thing. Yeah, he's trying to fuck, bro. That's all he wants to do. Bust nuts. He's young. Looks like Leonardo DiCaprio down under.

He wants to foster. Bust nuts. He's young. Looks like Leonardo DiCaprio down under. He wants a foster and some tits. You're talking about make sure you take care of your fuck buddy friend. What are you talking about? Bro, if you fuck all your buddies, then you don't have any buddies, dude. You've never had a boomerang. Listen, he doesn't give a fuck. Whatever.

I'll do a threesome with these chicks sometime. Dude, watch Crocodile Dundee and fuck both of them. Yeah. That's what I say. Oh, you're an idiot, man. Shout out to the Brisbane Lions, bro. Good luck down there. Shout out to Crocodile Dundee, that hitter. Gang, that hitter.

Nobody even remembers that movie, bro. That guy's like 78 years old now. You remember? Now that's a knife. No, I don't remember that, dude. Shout out to somebody that's better that's Australian that's more recent. Oh, who is Australian? Shout out to Thor. Chris Hemsworth is Australian.

Shout out to Wolverine's Australian. Shout out to Gallipoli. Shout out to Tony Kukoc. Oh, he's Australian? Australian. No, dude. Luke Longley. You might be right on that.

Yeah. Luke Longley, though, is... Yeah, shout out to Luke Longley, man. Oh, shout out to BJ Simmons. Is he Australian? Really? Shout out to Kyrie Irving. Also Australian.

No, Ben Simmons. What'd I say, BJ? For the 76ers, yeah. Ben Simmons is Australian. Yeah, he also seemed like an egomaniac that didn't even try in college. You want to talk about players not doing shit in college? He didn't go to college! He went to LSU for one season.

That's how bad he was. You don't even fucking remember it. And they didn't even make the NCAAs, bro. Yeah, because he doesn't give a fuck. He's waiting for all the millions. Well, fuck him then, dude. He's an all-star. Well, then if he don't give a fuck, dude, then fuck him, bro.

That's what I'm saying, dog. Well, he's fucking something and it's Kardashian. Let him do whatever he wants, bro. You're hating on him, dude. Dude, he accused him of being racist at a casino and he's white. Well, he's more white than we are. He's definitely more white than we are. He's Australian white.

Yeah. Dude, that's double white. Yeah, you're right. That's why they got a great white prom down there. You feel me? What else you got? You got a little rip. That was good, though. We got a little rip, my drip boys.

Up first, this is. The handle is awesome. That's that Brett the Hitman hitter. Did you see that? Yeah, dog. Pretty dope. You see the CU one they made me? That's the emblem of my college degree.

That's the closest you get to a college, Theo. This is the closest you're getting to a diploma is lighting this thing for an hour. Yeah, bro. Smells like you should have finished all your credits. This is beautiful. Is this that candle guy? That one smells like homeschool.

Light it up, bro. Is this the candle guy? Yeah, that's the candle guy. Is it? Yeah. Which is company called again? Candles RS. Brutum out of my mockery.

Candle Co. Some shit like that. Yeah. I don't know, but this podcast comes with a screeching Hulk. Sorry. Let's go. We'll rip my drip a little bit, boys. Rip it.

Up first, this is Tyler Dallarenple with his family on vacation at Lake Erie. Dang. Oh, damn. That kid looks terrified in the front. I'd be terrified, too, if I was matching clothes like an asshole. I hate when parents dress the kids the same. Ask the kid. I asked my kid, so you want to dress like me?

I look like a dumbass. You want to dress like this? He goes, hell no. We don't dress like that. Yeah. First of all, beautiful family. Great family. You got four people in your family.

That's easy to count. Easy to deal with. Clearly the baby's kidnapped. Look at the face. Clearly the baby is Gru from Despicable Me. So let's be honest. And they got

or actually that little baby looks like Derek even. Looks a tad like Derek and Gru had a baby. That baby's me, bro. Derek might have been busting some minions. Yeah, definitely.

And the little girl looks just like a cabbage patch. Oh, is it a garbage pail? Yeah. Well, cabbage patch is a nice one. Yeah, cabbage patch. Yeah, yeah. And then you got the beautiful mommy right there. And you got your family.

Where? It seemed like a rural area. There's no way to get home from this picture. Are they on a beach, or are they camping? Lake Erie. Oh, yeah. There you go. And that's a beautiful family right there.

It almost looks like those dolls where one is little inside of the other. Yeah, it's looking like one of those Mexican toys where they go, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. You have the Matryoshka dolls. It's a Russian doll. Oh, is it Russian? Everything's Mexican. Dude, Mexicans, listen, Mexicans even make those. What are we talking about? They probably do make them.

Yeah, they make them, but the Russians claim them. That's a great call. Yeah, dude. Same with Vodka. They ain't making that shit. Yeah, like, oh, look at these Chinese shirts we have. It's really a great point. Yeah, man. It's like, oh, yeah yeah look at these everything's chinese man uh shout out to this family though yeah nice family they look like they decent everybody's healthy look like that mom's tatted up if you've noticed yeah they got mom also has a fun side

oh yeah the hawaiian shirts they let you know they like that fun that tattoo of the mom does but the four matching shirts seems a little bit Elizabeth Smart to me. Like you got to. A little creepy. Yeah. A little Manson family-ish. Yeah, two of you guys can be matched, and I think you got to let two people wear their own stuff. Two out of the four, but let the kids decide.

Mom and dad, you can dress the same. Let the kids have a choice. Here's the thing. When you went to Disneyland the other week, didn't you notice how many people were dressed the same? Yeah. It's crazy. It is crazy. It's insane.

It's like a thing there that the family, you have to get your family shirt. You have to have your Disney shirt. Yeah, that's in case you lose them. That's how you don't get shitty parents. What else we got? Up next, we got Kari. This is Kari. God damn, Kari need a Ferrari.

What is up, girl? Says Big Brown can get it all day. Estimation points. She's smart, too. Damn. We got a brainy one on our hands, too. Do we? Yeah, because she loves me.

I'll tell you what, she can throw me an Instagram story, though. Yeah, she definitely looks really, really cute in this picture. She has four fingers on one hand, five fingers on the other hand. And she's obviously, that's just a, okay. Kari? Is it Kari or Kari? Do we know? I'm going to guess from her face, Kari.

Is she a real person? Because that body is out of this world. Give it up. Call her, Brendan, and quit using this as some sort of love connection, Kari. This is a professional show. Super professional, Kari. And obviously I'm just jealous that she didn't mention me, but that's fine. I'm sure we'll have some dude defending you next.

Well, here's a candle where Brendan allegedly went to college. Most people get a diploma, not a gift from their college, Brendan. Obviously I'm still jealous, so I'm just making comments. You're definitely jealous. Have your mom read off what classes you passed. Let's call your mom up. What do we got? All right, boys.

We're going to end it with some King of the Stingit. Wrap it up there. First, this is Adam from Cape Town, South Africa. Oh, beautiful. Oh, we're going international, babe. Mr. Worldwide. What's up Theo? What's up Brandon? This is Adam

Coming to you from sunny Cape Town, South Africa Theo, you know what it is For the king of the stinger for you Slacklining Gang gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz that's some white shit isn't it slacklining

have you ever seen anyone but a white person walk a line like that ever you ever seen in the circus you ever seen cops dude a lot of black dudes doing it okay

walking the line yeah and I'm not talking about that Johnny Cash movie either bro sorry I'm just saying I think it's a universal sport.

I definitely don't. You ever seen the circus? Have you ever seen anyone besides a white person on the top of the ropes like this? You ever seen a fucking black dude doing that? Never! That's a good point. Let's go to the culture corner and find out, is rope walking a black or white event? Or is it cultural?

What's going on? Yeah, it's cultural as the whitest shit that's ever existed in white culture. That's what it is for sure. I have yet to see anybody but a white person do it. Really? It's as white as a fucking Blink-182 concert, bro. Yeah, the only black person Adam was Lil Wayne and he fucking left

the mind dry. The only two black people ever Chappelle Lacey and Lil Wayne and Lil Wayne's out. I feel like there's like some Chinese girl somewhere out there

doing it right now though. Yeah. Somewhere. I feel like if there's anyone to do it, it's like a tiny Chinese girl. Tiny's they call it. The tiny's.

It's white though. It's a skill I i guess it also takes a lot of time you mean a lot of time it's way quicker than going all the way downstairs and walking across the street and going all the way upstairs if you have a rope yeah you're right you're right it's definitely a white sport slack lining uh it's brave, man. Is it? He's two feet off the ground. Okay, it's not that brave. Now if you're going to do it in the circus, you're going to do it from building to building. Over a tiger's mouth.

Yeah, if you're going to be Spider-Man with it, Tarzan, I'm with it. But if you're just in your backyard above your fucking flower garden and calling it dangerous, you got a little living to do, brother. Yeah, especially in your country, in South Africa, you got to hit up, they have one of the largest bungee jumps in the whole world. I think it's there, actually, off the Blue Crens Bridge or something.

See where it's at. Hey, would you ever bungee jump? Huh? Would you ever bungee jump? Yeah, I've done it a couple times. Really? I wouldn't do it again. That's for dum-dums, man.

I wouldn't do it again. It's always now, it's always like over there in Pompano Beach or something or Delray Beach. Now it's in Cancun. It's at the Blue Cranes Bridge. Ten highest bungees in the world. It's fourth, but I feel you. Derek using his motor skills, obviously. He obviously was on scholarship.

Was it Struggle City? Oh, bro. Was it Struggle Bus over there? You. Was it Struggle Bus over there? You'd think you'd have been over there. Tell us about it, Derek. It's the Blue Crons Bridge Bungee. It's the world's highest commercial bungee at 216 meters. That's 709 feet.

Yeah, walk across that, bro, and get back to me. I had a chance to go on this one, so I'm going to chicken out. Because you're smart-ish. Yeah, it just, I think I had too much bad experiences in America where it's like some guy's like, oh, you can handle it, you know? And he hooks you, and he has you hooked up. And then one guy's like, oh, there's jump. He's like, hold on, we got to hook you. Oh, hell no.

Do you see the guy whose cord broke? See that? Uh-uh. He was recently in the news. I forget where I saw the dude jump. The cord is like, nah, not up in here. Broke. Literally went straight to the ground.

But there was a thing to catch him underneath. He broke his back, neck. He's still alive. Breaking my back. Breaking my neck. Bungee cords in the front. Broke in the back. No slack lining, though, bro.

But yeah, man, you're in a country that has X games are thriving over there, dude. I think put that slack line. You know, how about this? Take it from your wife's bedroom window, y'all's bedroom window, over to the neighbor's window. Start somewhere. See how that line works. Real neighbors. Get risky, bro.

You know what I'm saying? Put a little risk. Super risky. Start doing it over the ocean with all them goddamn great whites jumping out of the water. That'll be a sight. Oh, put a little risk in your triscuit, bro. You feel me, dog? Yeah.

Gang, man. Up next, we got Rob from London. Rob from London. Hello, Rob. Yeah, what's up, lads? Jesus Christ, Derek. From London, England. What are you, bumping this on 22s, man?

Unbelievable. This guy is... Can we start over, do you mind? Sorry. He got scared from the beginning. I thought it was a shooting. Yeah, what's up, lads? I thought Chin was going to come in.

My name's Rob from London, England. Rob, named after a crime. My key until Stingit this week is organs. That double keyboard hitter. Ooh. Is he from 1915? He's an organ donor. Give him a minute. Let me know what you guys think. Also, Brendan, mate,

you look like your ancestors recently started coming out of the caves where they've been living uh theo you look like your ancestors have recently stopped getting eaten by brendan's ancestors in september i think in manchester gang gang, buzz, buzz. All the best, boys. Cheers, man. Here's the thing. Again, are you from 1915? Also, the only organ I want to see is in fucking...

God, what is it? Oh, Phantom of the Opera. Yeah. That's the only time it's cool, bro. Organ? I like organs. The Phantom of the Opera is here inside of me. That's pretty good, huh?

That was pretty good, man. I grew up with that shit. Did you? My mom used to just play it nonstop. Really? Yeah, I know the whole album for some reason. Weird. I know.

That's the only time I want to hear it, Org. I'll tell you what. You ain't getting no pussy playing that thing, bro. No one likes that thing. You're getting a lot of dick. I don't think so. I think you're fucking a lot of ghosts. If you got that thing, bro, you're going to be busting a lot of fucking.

You're going to be busting Queen Mary III. Oh, bro. You're going to be fucking a lot of pussy that has bats in it. You got that beautiful organ, dude. Dude, organ, one of the top three instruments of the 1920s. God, even before then, bro. Yeah, bro. That's 1700s, bro.

Yeah, bro. That's insane. Dude, you don't play that instrument and not drop the N-word every day. You know what I'm saying? Really? Why? It's just part of the times. Bro, they didn't have the N-word. In the 1700's just part of the times. They didn't have the N-word.

In the 1700s, they did. We had it. You might be right. You might be right. We had it, man, and then rappers took it from us. They did, and now they claim it as theirs. What I do appreciate, it's unique. I like that, and maybe

he can catch a ghost spy in his web. Look, any chick that ever liked that movie with Robert Pattinson in it, you can fuck them. You talking about Twilight? Yeah. Well, sign me up. So obviously you can fuck any Twilight fan.

Gang, gang, fang, fang, baby. So yeah, bro. Obviously, you just need to roll up to a Bram Stoker convention with that thing in the back, man. Interview with the vampire with his dick. I'm in, bro. Yeah, bro. You got it, dude. I think I'm going to say Kingin on Oregon's, man. I'm going to Kingin, too.

Oh, yeah, boys. All right. Our last one. This is from Jace from Salt Lake City, Utah. What's up, Theo? Gang, gang, boys. All right, our last one. This is from Jace from Salt Lake City, Utah. What's up, Theo? Gang, gang, baby. Brennan, get that hair right, boy. Buzz, buzz.

This is Jace from Salt Lake City, Utah. We got a king of the sting it for you here today. Big dick bandit. I was listening to Chris D'Elia talking about these hookers with a premium Snapchat. You're paying for something you get for free all over the internet all day, every day. King of the sting it it Premium Snapchats I gotta go take care of some business my boys Damn

Leave the camera Round of applause You got a flat ass But buzz buzz Why are you looking at the guy's ass Cause it's in my face. His girl said Buzz Buzz. Did you notice that? Yeah, I did. She said gang gang he did with his ass out.

Because he's a fucking champ. I don't know what he's saying. He said it's premium Snapchat. Chris D'Elia talks about premium Snapchats. They're usually just used for hookers. How do you guys feel? He doesn't need one, obviously, if he's got his lady over all the time just maybe that's

his lady or or that's a premium snapchat girl like it's obviously where this has gotten out of control he's obviously a gamer look at that seat you notice the seat bro you want to see him on call of duty or the fuck you play at midnight when you're all crying with your tears see this dude his pants are off bro yeah i haven't met him on there well you should be friends i feel like he likes you well he's going to spend time with his lady i think that that's pretty cool obviously they're still together um what was he asking about he said crystalia oh premium snapchat yeah what do you think i mean here's the thing you something if once you put it behind a paywall or something, then there's value to it.

You know, it's like... What do you mean? That's when there's value. It's like, you just see if people will pay for it. You can put anything behind a paywall. You gotta pay for it. It's a bitch move, though. You know what I'm saying?

Well, I think it's a bitch move. Like, there's some podcasts that go behind a paywall. But a lot of performers, a lot of these porn stars and stuff who are doing it, they don't have a way to really make money. These agencies are making a lot of the money, and the porn market is oversaturated. So there's no way for them to really make any money. Fuck, dude. And so that's why they do it.

No, I get it. I get it. I get it. You can just watch porn. You don't have to pay them to send you pictures and videos. You know what I'm saying? Just watch the actual porn. Because what are you really paying for on Snapchat?

Well, she can show you an ass shot, maybe some titties. Or I can just go to YouPorn, type in her name, and watch my boy Big Black dick her down for free. Jesus Christ. That's premium quality. Give it up, bro. No, dude. Don't touch me. Especially when we're talking about porn

I don't do porn You're the one who watches it Well you're not allowed to It's against the rules Yeah I am allowed And I choose not to I make a choice Not to put pornography

Into my brain Nah not me I'll watch it But if I were I'm not watching a bunch of brothers Do it okay I'll watch a little Mexican guy Or I'll watch

A Filipino guy Standing on another Filipino guy's shoulders Fucking someone That's fair. I try to go above and beyond. The old easy, the lazy porn, another black

guy banging a white chick. You're right, bro. Taking the easy way out. I like to watch a struggling white guy try to fuck a white chick. You're talking about Taxi Cat Confession. It's a struggling taxi driver picks up some dime piece and he's like, if you don't want to pay your fare,

and then she works it out, bro. That's every taxi driver in Vegas, too. If you always ask him, hey, did some chick ever pay you in sex? He's like, yeah, actually. I don't know. What do you think about this, Kat? Let's get a female perspective. We're just obviously a couple dudes that jerk off. All the time.

I don't do it a lot. Derek doesn't jerk off. He busts in his girl, but me and Theo jack it. Derek definitely jerks off, dude. I don't think so. Derek seems like the guy that also jerks off. Derek seems like the guy that jerks off into his girl. What do you got, Kat?

I don't see the appeal of doing a premium Snapchat unless you're obsessed with a particular person. You could do it, though, Kat. You could do it though, Kat. Like you could do a premium chat with your feet. With my feet? Do gardening with your feet. Yeah. Oh, that's nice.

You could roll croissants with your feet. Yeah, if you did some different types of doughs or something. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like make a nice sourdough bread with your feet. Yeah, croissant.

Croissant. I would see. Maybe a blueberry muffin. Yeah. But how long can you keep charging people for it? You'd be surprised. That's his special. Look, man.

How long can you keep charging people for it? Ask Brendan, man. For years. Years. For years. Years. It might never end. It might never end.

And maybe it shouldn't. And maybe it shouldn't, dude. Can we get the guy's white ass off of the screen? That might be the best video we've got. He's growing his hair out like you, though, man. He's a fan of yours. Oh, I thought you meant on his nuts. He did have a hairy ass, though, too.

It's tough back there, man. But I'll, you know what? I'll king premium Snapchat. If that's the way you got to make money whether it's fucking you got dicks on there your titties whatever man get your money especially if there's a market for it that's on them yeah and then also it brings the market back into their it's their market it's not just the porn so it's not like porn or brass ears taking 90 while you're getting loads on your face exhausted every night. Yeah, you're getting out here loaded out, dude. You're getting loaded up like a damn Whirlpool stackable fucking machine.

You know, you're fucking running loads like a damn laundromat. You're getting greased up like it's Jiffy Lube and you're getting 10%. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you deserve to get your money, girls. Yeah, you're an Orange Julius and you're not getting much of your money. You feel me? So, what was this, Paul? King premium accounts.

Get your money, bitches. Pet my pet? What fucking chapter of this show are we in? Pet my... I never know what's going on, bro. Me neither, dude. Is that it? I just know we all have fleas, man.

Come on, you wrapped it up today, boy. That's it. Yeah, why don't you wrap it up instead of know we all have fleas, man. Come on. You wrapped it up today, boy. That's it. Yeah, why don't you wrap it up instead of busting all these fucking white girls, Derek? Why don't you wrap something up, Nick? Never, bro. I'll die first. God, you're poor. Damn, Derek.

You're a poor girl, man. Jesus. She's been out of town for her birthday to get a fucking break. That's what she's doing. Thyagra Falls, bro. Fucking give her a break, dude. You probably asked your girl, what do you want for your birthday? She said, I just need a break, bro. I need a break, dude. You probably asked your girl, what do you want for your birthday? She said, I just need a break, bro.

I need a break. I want an umbrella. She's sick of being dripping wet, bro. Where are we coming up? I don't even know. I'm in Memphis. I'm in Atlanta this week. Birmingham.

A couple of different places. TheoVon.com slash tour. Get them. I'm in Portland this Thursday, Friday, Saturday with Derek Poster and Chappelle Lacey. Then I'm at the Ice House. That's early September at the Ice House. Derek will probably be there as well and some other friends. Gang.

A few will be in town. That'd be cool. That'd be cool, dude. I'm at the Ice House and then it's Houston, Denver. Get your tickets at tfak.com. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Drop.

Loads. I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I busted nuts on my mind. Culture, culture, bro. Culture, culture.