The Golden Hour - Episode 35: Know Your Cheese!

Episode Date: September 5, 2019

The boys get heated in a game of "Know Your Cheese" and talk Fabric Ho's, Textile Bitches, worst vacation destinations, being starstruck over Uncle Kracker, Seashell Puppies, Hermit Crab Hitters, Sugar Ray Cyrus, Athlexicans, Andy Dick Aunt's, GI Janis, Nephew Saltine Brendan, Relationship Advice for the Bald and much more!ShipStation - https://www.shipstation.com promo code: KATSPostmates - promo code: KATS2019Policy GeniusWix.com - Join our Wix website competition by creating a free website at https://wix.com/go/KATS Email submissions to [e-mail] 20% off a yearly premium plan with code "KATS20"Stance - http://stance.com/katsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha One of my favorite shirts that you have. One of my favorite five rotating shirts that you have. Thank you, man. I appreciate that, dude. That's a fantastic shirt. That's a hitter, huh? Look at that. That's that Spencer's hitter. I always wondered who bought them. There you go. This is 100% cotton, too, I think.

Is it? I like a nice poly blend. Really? Yeah. Ho, bro. Oh, really? You a fabric ho, dog. You a textile bitch, brother.

Because I like poly blend? You like a poly blend? Yeah, I like that soft hitter, dog. You a textile bitch, brother. Because I like poly blend? You like a poly blend? Yeah, I like that soft hitter, bro. Dude, I like that. Now, if we're talking a Polynesian blend, okay? I feel you. If you're referencing Kat, then I'm in. I feel you, dog.

Because Kat is more that Polynesian blend. Yeah. Derek's more 100% cotton. Yeah. And that's not a racial thing either, man. When you write, you write, dog. When you write, you write. Maybe it right you're right you're right maybe it is that little moana blend yeah dude she got that uh she got that lilo and stitch bro that's how they put that fabric together and stitch lilo and let's get not a new dance the lilo and stitch dude that should be coming yeah Yeah, what is it? There you go. Yeah. And then you do this. Then it's this.

Yeah. Whoa, dude. This is me fucking stitching. Bro, you look like the gayest dude who's landing a plane, bro, who's bringing a plane in. I'm directing. You look like the gayest baggage handler. At LAX. Yeah, for Spear Airlines. But you thought it was Esprit.

Remember that company back in the day, Esprit? Did they make clothes or cakes? They made horrible clothes, dude. It was basically just coming out of the closet athletic wear, basically. Remember that company? Yeah, I do. They're out of business, bro, for a reason. That shirt looks like it's Esprit, man.

Bro, this shirt, dude? Yeah, dude. Bro, this shirt brings all the pachyderms to the yard. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, bro. Remember that jam? Bro, denture, dog. To the yard.

What was that? Milkshakes bringing all the boys to the yard. That was Kila. What was that girl's name? I think Kila. Khalees. Khalees. Oh, look at the culture corner.

Damn. Chin. At 6'5", raining from Dallas, Texas. Dallas? No, Central Texas. Same thing. Central Texas, bro.

First of all, you know somebody's an illegal alien when they say they're from Central Texas. More the middle part of Texas. Yeah, just, you know, over by the fence. Yeah. Do you know somebody is illegal, bro?

Chen is not having it today. Look at him. He's not feeling it, bro. He's like the, Chen reminds me of like, if he were Mexican, he'd be like the undertaker. He's like the tallest. Why are all Mexican men and women the same exact height, dude? Five, six. Five, six.

Yeah. Stand. Maybe. Stand and great cardio. Oh. No diet. Yeah. Just do the damn thing.

And the whole body's all connected. Same parts, dude. You know what I'm saying? The shoulder bone's connected to the toe bone. You know? Yeah, they do. And all have the same facial hair. Yeah.

It means the same. Nah, you're racist, bro. Hey, man. I thought we were. No? No, we weren't. All right. We weren't.

All right. Dude, I got to tell you. So this couple came out. I had a show in Las Vegas. Oh, damn. It's been a while. It has been. The thing's rusty.

Oh, here we go. Ugh. So Cabo San Lucas. That's where Ezekiel Elliott, I just read an article. That's where he's been for like his whole holdout. They said working out with Marshall Falk. By working out, you mean busting nuts, drinking

margaritas? That's what they said. He's actually there with Marshall Falk. I don't give a fuck. I don't want my players out there working out on the beach. Bro, I don't give a Falk, dude. That guy's there with We Are Marshall, bro. That guy's out there just plane crashing his career, dude.

I'll tell you this, bro. Cabo San Lucas, the absolute worst vacation destination. The worst, hands down. Everything looks like they just put it together. There's smoke. All the clubs have that crazy smoke projectors, just firing smoke into the dance floor.

They don't know that some people don't want that. You'll be in a restaurant, an Italian restaurant, and they don't want that. Right. Like you'll be in a restaurant, like an Italian restaurant. And then. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's how it goes. Oh, dude.

It's insane. And then there's foam. Yeah. And then you're like in nice clothes. And all of a sudden everyone's sick with chlamydia. It's weird, dude. It's crazy, bro. Quit giving us fucking quesadillas at every place. Senior frogs with the slide out the back.

God, dog. That place is a thirst trap, man. That place is trappy, bro. And people were afraid to go into the club. Like one lady was like trying to walk into the club like this. So much smoke. So much like laser lights, bro. Dude, there was one guy who was in the dance floor.

He'd been in there for two months. Couldn't find his, couldn't get out. Makes sense though. Yeah. Hydrated, low energy, but can't get out. Can't get out. He was just laying there just barely beating up the beat, bro. With the curly straw just... Oh, it was bad, man.

It's bad. He lost 47 pounds, he said. I was like, dude, you gotta get out of here. He's like, no, it's a little more ODB. A little more Uncle Cracker. Yeah, Mar said. I was like, dude, you gotta get out of here. He's like, no, it's a little more ODB. A little more Uncle Cracker. Go back like baby, pass the pie. A little more Uncle Cracker. Dude, how about

Uncle Cracker? I was meeting Derek and Callen did a show in Oroville. No idea where it's at. Oh, that casino? That casino. Oh, you're supposed to go. Is it cool? It's dope. It's a good venue. I'm gonna go. Yeah, it's a great venue. But they have a big poster, and they're like, next week, man, Uncle Cracker's here. I flipped.

I went, hold up. Uncle Cracker's racing the same stage as me? He was like, yeah. Dude, I was hyped. Derek had no idea who it was. Bro, you look like, no joke, like Uncle Cracker's fucking cousin, bro. Bro, you look like Nephew Saltine, dude. Definitely do, bro.

But dude, he had three bangers. Of course he did, bro. He was your family member. Do you remember Uncle Cracker? Bro, I remember him from your Christmas photo albums, of course. Remember him from your life. Hey, do you still FaceTime yellow off? Careful, bro. That's my boy, dude.

He did show up to my show. I thought he was going to kill me. Did he? He probably should have. Yeah. I want to say, I sent this picture, speaking of people showing up to shows. Do you remember the couple, this couple, that came out to my Las Vegas show, same height, first of all, which I love. And remember her?

She was dressed as the mermaid they sent in a picture. Was it relationship advice? No, it was rip my drip. It was rip my drip. And it was for him, and we started ripping on her. And she looked like that fresh tuna boy. She looked like that, yeah, carpe carp, bro. She was dressed really.

That little mermaid head right there. Yeah, yeah. She definitely dressed really. That little mermaid head right there. Yeah, yeah. She definitely really was that little mermaid. But they came out to the show. They're like, look, we're wearing the same thing. So it was pretty dope, though, to see that. She got those seashell puppies. Oh, yeah, bro.

Out where they walk, out where they run, out where they play all day in the sun, dude. Yeah, bro. She got them hermit crab headers in the front. You find me on my legs walking around outside of that lady's apartment, bro. You know what I'm saying, dude? Lobsters in the back, clams in the front. You feel me? Oh, damn, dude.

I guess, bro. I guess, nephew saltine boy. Dude, you don't like Uncle Cracker? Bro, bro. I love Uncle Cracker, dude. I knew you would. I knew. But I don't have to see him every holiday like Cracker, dude. I knew you would. I knew. But I don't have to see him every holiday like you do, dude.

Because he's your real uncle. I wish he was my real uncle. I just call him Cracker. What's up, Crack? Bro, no joke, dude. You look like somebody that's like an accountant at a Claire's Boutique, dude. That's what you look like. Oh, really? Yeah, you're justique, dude. That's what you look like. Really?

Oh, really? Yeah, you're just horrible, dude. I'm just horrible? Dude, Cleveland Browns. Opening season Sunday, bro. That's my squad, bro. Dude, 8-8. 8-8, bro. Dude, they go way better than 8-8.

Every year they go fucking 8-8. They do way better than 8-8. They were 9- Well, they had a draw last year. Yeah, bro. They're the only team that had two draws last year, two ties. Tough, dude. Oh, dude.

But hold on. And you think you dress cool? I think I look nice. You look like you're going to start a fucking mosh pit at a Michael Bublé concert. My love is brilliant. Yeah! Bublé! Dude, I'm going to start a mosh pit at a fucking petting zoo in this thing, bro. love is brilliant. Yeah! Boo-blay! Dude, I'm going to start a mosh pit at a fucking

petting zoo in this thing, bro. Start a mosh pit in a pet smart, bro. Take it easy, man. Damn, dude. This shit is fucking nice, bro. You don't even know what you're talking about. Didn't you have some twins at your show, too, Theo? That's the other thing. So some twins. I met a couple of twins. Here's the image of

them. Twins that married twins, bro. Well, hold up. First of all, they lied to you because the two male twins, they're not twins. They were twins. One of them was in a fire or something. But they had a driver's license. Did one get punched in the nose? Bro, they said they were twins.

You didn't have the exact same nose. Look at you guys on the left there. Yeah, whatever, dude. That is weird. Well, I guess it's not weird. They're the same people, and they're going to like the exact same people. Twins on twins. But, dude, what do you give birth?

Like, if you are twins and you marry other twins, something has to happen. Like, doesn't time stop or something? When they have kids, does just your mom pop out? Yeah, does just both your parents pop out of your vagina and say, Did your great-grandfather pop out? Quit it. Yeah, what do you give birth to, a damn Care Bear, bro? Freddy Krueger?

You're dressed like you're a personal trainer for a fucking Care Bear, bro. You look fucking unbelievable, bro. that, you look like you're a personal trainer for a fucking Care Bear, bro. You look fucking unbelievable, bro. Dude, you look like shit. Dude, you look like the least talented fucking Billy Ray Cyrus kid. Oh, wow. I look like Sugar Ray Cyrus, bro. Dude, you look like somebody that's a DJ at a fucking Tim Hortons. That's who you look like.

Which is basically a Hardee's in Canada. Dunkin' Donuts in Canada. You're just beating and just mixing beats. And no one's listening. Yeah, well, there's a fucking sausage biscuit in a microwave. I'd rather be in a Senor Frogs if I had to, bro. Let's kick this episode off, bro.

Shut it down. Hey, Mexico in general, shut it down. Build that wall. Build that wall. Just kidding. My girl's Mexican. Yeah. My kid's half Mexican. I can say that. Here's what I say. Build the wall. Don't build it that high, bro.

You know what I'm saying? Because what we really want in America is athlexicans, bro. We want the most athletic Mexicans we can get, dude. Because here's what's going to happen. We want the smartest ones, bro. So build it as tall as you can, but leave some equipment on the other side. Let them figure it out. Let them work for it. Oh, yeah. Well it out. Let them work for it.

Oh, yeah. Well, dude, let them work for it. Yeah, to get over the wall, bro. That's true. You're right. Let's kick this off, dude. Let's start a little fly on my aunt, boys. First, we got Aunt Chrissy.

I just want to acknowledge how disappointed Chin is to be here. Yeah. I look over and everyone's laughing. I just want to acknowledge how disappointed Chin is to be here. Yeah. I look over and everyone's laughing. I look over and Chin's like this. Yeah, Chin, how does it feel to be back in the culture corner, man? Let's ask you that. You did start it, Chin. Did I?

Yeah, you did. Found her. Feels good. Feels good to be back. It's been a while. I missed you guys. Hey, you guys have shirts, though. Yes.

How are you guys not going to wear your shirts? Oh, yeah. Culture corner shirts, huh? Yeah, man. Well, there you go have shirts, though. Yes. How are you guys not going to wear your shirts? Oh, yeah. Culture Corner shirts, huh? Yeah, man. Well, there you go. Maybe next week. Way to go, guys. Culture Corner.

Well, Chin seems very excited to be here. Unbelievable, bro. His blood pressure, four over six. Chin's blood pressure. Heart rate of 35. Heart rate of a lizard. Yeah, bro. Heart rate of, he has the same heart rate of 35. Heart rate of a lizard. Yeah, bro. He has the same heart rate of a

leaf changing colors in the fall. Heart rate of a caterpillar. Alright, what do we got, D? We got Chris. She is 31 years old. Apparently the scariest bitch you ever met. She used to box. She was the only girl on our football team in high school. Oh, one of those.

Yeah, she was one of those. Had to walk to school every day. Let's just say, look, she was the only girl that could kick a field goal. Call it what it is. Hey, Icebox, take it easy here. You ain't playing ball. You ain't playing ball with the boys. What we did

is let you kick it through the uprights here and there. So you could say you're part of the team. But let's get back to reality. Let's go, Derek. What is it, man? She had to walk to school every day because she got kicked off the bus for breaking a guy's nose with a saxophone. And once she was in a car crash and broke both her legs and her ankles and was joking around with the cops while her bones were sticking out of her skin. So apparently she's Chuck Norris.

Damn, she's ground Chuck Norris after that car accident. Come on, dude. Jesus Christmas, bro. This is one of your buddies, Brendan. One of my buddies? Yeah. I'm surprised you guys don't have the same stories all the goddamn time. Actually, we do see, we look a little similar probably.

So she's just supposedly the baddest bitch in her little town, huh? Well, she also has opposable knees. Did she lose her legs? I don't know. I think she might have lost her legs. No one wears tights that high. Her legs look fake though. Did it say she lost her legs

in the car crash? It didn't say she lost. It said she just broke. It said she just broke. She was laughing about it. But did she put them back together correctly? Because the... She might have some sort of... She's got a little humpty in her dumpty. You know what I'm saying, bro?

She got that gang green. You know what I'm saying? Gang, gang, gang, gang. Gang, gang, gang, gang. Finally, man. Only 60 episodes of Brennan fucking cracks a good one

did I make you laugh yeah let me text some buddies man I had the over fuck man you're fucking stupid just lost $9

to your dad actually he's in the pool too I fucking knew it my god dude dude don't make me call this fucking Aunt Krista to beat your ass. Seriously, what's the over-under of her and Theo fighting? I give this girl minus 200. Dude, all I'm saying, bro, her ground game is not that good if you broke both of her fucking legs.

But here's the thing. Is she laying down in this picture or standing up? She's laying down in this picture. Is she floating? Yeah. She's laying down. That's a weird picture. Yeah.

She looks like a beautiful young lady. She obviously does ballet and stuff if she has on those tights, I think. She can kick a football. Not very well, but she's still on the team. And it says she, I guess she dates other women. It says used to box. Yeah. I think that counts for dating. It says used to box. Oh, she used to box. Used to box. My bad. It says used to box. Yeah. I think that counts for dating.

She says she used to box. Oh, she used to box. Used to box. My bad. I thought used to. Like, I'm used to box. Only girl on her football team. That's also how I read it.

That's also how I read it. Yeah. That's how I read it. I was like, oh, she eats box. She's comfortable around it. That's how you guys look at it? Yeah. She wants to fight Amanda Nunes.

She has dragon tattoos next to her private areas. I wonder what city she's from. I don't know. Also, whoever wrote this down and called them private areas obviously has been convicted of crimes before. Who wrote this down? I'll say an older man. You wrote it, dude? Well, I just kind of shorthanded everything.

She said like a million things about herself. Damn, bro. Are you a grandparent? Were you writing this while eating your graham crackers at four in the afternoon? I wrote it after busting in my girl, dawg. I'm trying to lighten it up. I lighten it up sometimes for you animals.

There we go, dude. The poor skeet shuttle, dude. And now he doesn't worry about the comedy story anymore because he has more time off. I bet you poor skeet shuttle, dude. And now he doesn't work at the Comedy Store anymore, so he has more time off. I bet you're going, oh, shit. I bet when he came home and went, babe, I stopped my job, she was like, fuck. Better get this mouth ready. Oh, you guys are disgusting.

What else we got? Oh, good. But she looks like a beautiful lady, and thank you for submitting her. Yeah, Chris, I'd love to see you fight Theo. Aunt Chris. Yeah, I bet I would probably lose to her. What's going to be a better fight, Dustin Poirier versus Khabib, or Aunt Chris versus Theo Vaughn? I don't know, man.

Poirier versus Khabib. Good fights. Aunt Chris. Both good fights. Choking you out. Khabib is definitely that. He's like a bearded, strong, white roach, bro. He's just so fucking...

I mean, roaches are bitches, though. But roaches, dude, you step on a roach, bro, it's back so fucking... Roaches are bitches, though. But roaches, dude, you step on a roach, bro, it's back the next day and it's like six pounds heavier. You're like, what happened, dude? Did you use an IV? Did this roach get IV'd up? Roaches look at you like they know they're going to be alive in the future

and you're not. Yeah, you're right. They've been around forever. Next, we have Aunt Sandra. Well, God, speaking of PEDs, what's up, Sandra? Yeah. Oh, no, it's Bill Maher. That's cool. Damn. That is Bill Maher.

That's Bill Maher, dude. He got jacked. Check out the tits on Bill. Bill would hate this, too, because Bill hates women, too. I don't know if you know anything about Bill Maher. No, he hates white women. He loves black women. Unless they're really young, dude. His last girlfriend was 19 years old.

So if you are just past puberty, you're good with Bill. But this lady has definitely a very Andy Dick type of just dick sort of vibe going. How many rings do you think she won? Is that Pat Riley? Dude, put a couple cigarettes in her jaw, and you know who that is? That's the lady that coached Tennessee to 700 wins. You right, bro. Over other lesbians in the South.

You right. Cut that hair. Give her that dike haircut. What's her name? Pat Summitt. Pat Summitt. Sum it up, bro. Yeah. Sum it up. Oh, I. Sum it up, bro. Yeah.

Sum it up. Oh, I'll sum it up, brother. Let's be honest, dog. All right? Ha ha ha. Very strong, though. Actually, also very strong. A lot of hard work.

She's like a good, hard-working lady. Her neck looks like my nuts. Oh, God. You are mean, bro. Dude, I'm just commenting on what you put in front of me. What do you mean? You have vocal cords in your nuts? No, I mean I got wrinkles on my nuts.

Oh, you got to iron your nuts out, dude. You right. I need that Botox on my nutsack, bro. Dude, shout out to this aunt. What do you mean, shout out to her? After you ripped her up? What do you guys think? Let's get Asian. Let's go far east over here. Dude, I got an aunt who. What do you mean, shout out to her? After you ripped her up? What do you guys think? Let's get Asian.

Let's go far east over here. Dude, I got an aunt who's a bodybuilder, too, so I can't really clown, dude. Shut the fuck up. No, I do. I swear to God, I do. She's Miss Universe. I swear to God. Yeah, dude, what universe, dude?

Name three universes. I bet you can't. What do you guys think of this? Let's get Asian over here, huh? I feel like if she was in the Vietnam War, America would have won. Yeah, yeah. If we sent her over to Iraq, there would be no ISIS. Yeah, bro.

She definitely has that fucking G.I. Janus vibe, you know? She definitely has that G.I. James vibe. Oh, definitely. And she's got G.I. genetics, too, dude. She's obviously on some performance in hand. that G.I. James vibe. Oh, definitely. And she's got G.I. genetics, too, dude. She's obviously on some performance in hand. That G.I. Jim. Yeah, bro. I'm sweating.

Oh, dude. She's making me sweat, bro. Doing crunchy for me, bitch. Damn, you are mean, bro. Now, I'll say this. She seems like a wonderful lady. She's hardworking. My hard work, dude.

She's out there. Her arms aren't that long. And so I know it's... She ain't single. Yeah, Jim, what do you think about that? She's divorced a wonderful lady. She's hard working. She's out there. Her arms aren't that long. She's single. Yeah, Chin, what do you think about that? She's divorced also. Oh! You know who she kind of reminds me of? And it's going to be mean.

I think you guys know who I'm talking about. She's a UFC fighter. Oh, yeah, Holly Holm. Yes. Really? No, Holly so much. No, no, no. I thought you were going to say it reminds you of like Mickey Gall or some shit. No, no, no. No, Holly, so much I thought you were going to say remind you of like Mickey Gall

or some shit No, not Mickey Gall, Mickey Gall is much better looking than this lady Mickey Rourke Yeah Mickey Mustard, whoever that is Mickey Mantle Oh, damn

Alright, man Hey, hold up, player. Dude, I don't ask for this stuff. Did she send this to us? Bro, this is a human person that's alive in the world right now. Yeah, you're right. With a lot of testosterone in her fucking veins, and it's easy to get guns these days.

I don't need this heat. Dude. I don't need this heat. What city is she in? Now I got to hire extra security. We don't know what city she's in. Bring back the beautiful lady in the wheelchair that was the first one, dude.

Who couldn't even stand up for the picture, dude. How bad was that car accident? Bring back Icebox for us. Bring back Big Christ or Christy, whatever her name was, dude. Christy Christ. Shout out to this lady. A lot of hard work. I'll give her that. We already said that four times. You take it from here, bro. No, I will say- Shout out to this lady. A lot of hard work. I'll give her that. We already said that four times.

Okay. You take it from here, bro. No, I will take it from here. She seemed like, obviously, she's good. She's at the gym. She's doing stuff. It's daytime. You can see the light coming in the windows in the back.

Commitment. Yeah, she's getting out there during the day and taking care of herself. Her tits are strong, strong. Those are pecs. Those are pecs. She'll breastfeed fucking yogurt, bro. You know what I'm saying? She'll breastfeed some college cheese out of her tits.

And protein powder. If she's breastfeeding milk, dude, it's got cereal in it, bro. Hey, she has some cocoa puffs coming out of her breast milk with some creatine. Relax, man. You fucking Kratom addict.

Kratom is a Schedule 1 narcotic. Do you know that? Yeah, I know, and I love it. Your son keeps emailing me telling me you're on it. Daddy Kratom. And the two crying emojis. Let's move on, man. Shout out to this lady.

A lot of hard work to get there. What do you mean? To get where? She's jacked, bro, and goes to the gym every day. That's true, actually. And she seems like one of those ladies that would do the pommel horse. Remember that? She looks like she spends a lot of time on the cables, the chest cables.

That's a thing. The pommel horse? Oh, where they just sit there? Yeah, what's that don't make a face contest? Those little gymnasts are jacked, dude. Jacked, bro. Jacked central.

They're about 4'7", but still. Oh, dude, they'll piss brisket. They're so full of muscle, bro. They'll piss brisket. Up next, boys, a little debate club. Up first, this is Buck Sampson from Michigan. This is Buck. Praise God.

What up, Phil? What up, Brennan? Buck Sampson here. Great name. Got a big club for you. Toaster strudel, pop tarts. For me, toaster strudel all day. Preach. I don't know what you think.

I thought he looked around before he said toaster strudel. Like he was honestly afraid to admit it. He was looking for his buddies because they were going to clown on him. Sending him pop tarts or toaster strudels. Look at the hostage video. They're probably watching this now and they're like, what the fuck, Buck? Can Asians have sugar early in the morning? Let's go to this culture corner.

What about just Pop-Tarts in general? Yeah. Or can you guys process sugar? What's that like for you guys? Yep. We can process sugar. Can't process alcohol. Wow.

Or dairy, right? Yeah. Dairy too. Damn that. Koreans don't give a fuck though. Pick a book up, dude. What? Koreans don't give a fuck though. They'll still eat cheese. Koreans will power through it. Wow. I've never seen you do. Damn, wow. Koreans don't give a fuck, though. Fucking pick a book up, dude. What? Koreans don't give a fuck, though.

They'll still eat cheese. Koreans will power through it. Wow. I've never seen you do dairy, though, Chin. I eat cheese all the time. Wow. I bring in little Kraft slices. And what do you do?

Just go hide after you eat it, or what do you do? Or you eat it in the open? No, I'm serious. I eat it in my car, maybe. Oh, wow. Are you a little embarrassed around other- Yes, he's eating it in his car, dude. Are you a little embarrassed around other Korean people that eat dairy?

I mean, if I'm eating dairy, something happens afterwards. That's why. Oh, damn. You'd be farting. I mean, it's a lot of gas. Okay, it'll produce gas. That's why they can't have it. You'd be farting.

That's what you're saying. So it's body reactive. Yep. Well, they're allergic. I thought you were saying something mentally happens to you or something. Oh, no. Like he turns into a fucking Jekyll and Hyde from cheese? Well, dude, I'm saying if I picture a tall Korean guy eating cheese quietly in the backseat of his car.

You're going to think it's the Hulk. No, I'm going to think something's happening here, okay? I agree. I'm going to think like. But I don't assume he's fucking Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde over here. Does it make you angry, Chin? No, it makes me happy. Oh, wow.

Cheese makes you happy. Of course. Oh, interesting. Hmm. What? I can see this. You like a sharp cheddar? I like a sharp. Yeah, huh?

I like it like cheddar, regular. You like a real sharp cheddar, though? I like a sharp. You like a violent brie? That sounds good, actually, yeah. Damn. Oh, yeah? Not too violent.

You like a prickly parmesan? Yeah. Parmesan's great. You like a fucking cancer parmesan? Yeah. Parmesan's great. You like a fucking cancerous camembert? I don't know what camembert is. I don't either. I'm sure you don't. But who fucks with Pop-Tarts over, I grew up on both these, or Toaster Strudels?

Pop-Tarts? Pop-Tarts are okay. More flavors, you know, heated or unheated. Heated. Especially the cinnamon ones are purified with the maple sugar on top. However, I'm a toaster strudel boy. I grew up with toaster strudels, and I used to have such a sugar problem. The icing, they used to give you packs.

Oh, God, I remember those packs. They're supposed to last for all six of them. But my fat ass would fucking put one in the toaster, and I'd use three icings on one. And then my brother would beat me up the next day. I got beat up all the time because of that. Really? By your brother, the accountant? The accountant?

No, computer programmer. Is he really? Yeah. My bad, man. It's all good, dude. But dude, remember when Toaster Strudels came out? Remember? It had just been Pop-Tarts.

Chaos. Or you just stood around hungry in the kitchen before school. And then suddenly fucking Toaster strudels hit America. God. They were beautiful. They were from France or something. Croissants.

They're croissants filled with fruit. Remember how hot it was, dude? One of my sisters still has a huge fucking raspberry burn on her fucking cheek that's never gone away.

She looks like the Joker. She just bit right into that bitch fresh out the toaster. Dude. Immediately toaster to mouth, no hand interaction, bro.

You talking about that raspberry lava? The raspberry lava. That thing. And it was a croissant filled with raspberry lava. And they took thick, thick icing. And I would sprinkle on top. And I'd

do three of them. And I'd bite into it. Every now and then I'd make a sandwich. I'd do two. Icing in the middle. And my brother'd beat me up. My brother'd whoop my ass. And you know what? I knew he was going to beat me up and I still did it.

That's how addicted to sugar I was. I could see that, man. And they were really just a beautiful treat when they first hit the scene. There was nothing like them. That's it, the blue box with the little white guy in the hat. The far right's the first box.

God damn it. That's America there, brother. The fact that they let you own the icing, sometimes I would draw like a smiley face on there. Why not? Or draw a knife. Why not? You know? Why not, bro?

Or draw a piece of cheese on there like Chin would do. Wow. And just eat that. Yeah. The imaginary dairy. Or draw a piece of cheese on there like Chin would do. Fuck. And just eat that. Yeah. Yeah. The imaginary dairy. Dude, that's what you should come out with, a new product, imaginary dairy. Chin's lactose treat.

And it's just little lactose you use. It's like little. See, here's the thing, too. Now, I don't know how. Do they still make them? Now, everyone's like, oh, fucking health conscious. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. And people said if you had two of them, you was gay.

That's what they used to say back in the day. My brother used to draw a dick with the icing on mine. True story. Yeah, I was gay, bro. I was gay, dude. If you eat two of those, bro, you gay, dog. Still worth it to me, you know? Still worth it.

That's how good they were. Dude, remember the croissant would get around your mouth a little bit because it was so flaky. And the icing, it was so flaky, it would stick to your mouth. I'd eat two of them, like, looks like I'm sucking dick today. Why, man? Worth it, dude. Can we just talk about food? Well, you're the one that said if you eat two, you turn gay. Let's go back to Buck Sampson. First of all, a real

gentleman who had to step outside of the house here on his front porch to admit that he don't mind a little toaster strudel. You feel me? Okay. He went, Pop Tartar toaster strudel. You feel me? He went, pop, toaster, toaster strudel. I love that,

dude. That's the best. I love that, You can tell like he's a man's man. I kind of heard him send this in. And you can see that deer right behind him listening. They got that buck's head behind him. You can tell that deer is still alive.

Buck on buck. Buck's in the front. Buck's in the back. I'm toaster strudel Buck's in the back. Yeah, it is, bro. I'm toaster strudel all goddamn day. That was my childhood. You know what? I'm going to go, but I love them. It's too sweet for me.

It was too sweet for me. I'm going to go still. I'm going to stick with Pop-Tarts with no frosting, and I'll see y'all in heaven, bro. Or hell, no frosting? Yeah, bro. Dude, see you six feet under, bitch. 59% are with Theo on the Pop-Tart. That's because it's popular opinion, bro.

Yeah, that's what it's called, popular opinion. People vote. Jesus Christ, bro. Do you not know what things are? Yeah. You know what? I agree with this entire ad. I don't.

I don't. Someone's got to pay for Brennan's coffee habit. Up next, we got, I'm killing your name, buddy, but Madabush Nanayakara. Madabush. Oh, he's clearly from Cleveland. Ooh, I like that hair, bro. Mail me some of that hair. God damn. What's up, Theo?

What's up, Brennan? This is Bash from Dubai. I'm Sri Lankan. I got a debate club for you guys. Great hit. Are you hanging out with the boys or hang out with your girl. But with the girl, sex off the table. You know what I'm saying?

Not even them pretty buzz little hitters. Boy. Oh, okay. Hold on. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. And Theo, if you come see our boy Diamond, get the win from that hump jitsu guy in Abu Dhabi. Hit me up. I would love to see you.

I shouldn't have said Hamjitsu. He's actually pretty good. Gang gang. Buzz buzz. I love this guy, man. Who is this guy, bro? That guy's awesome. Marabouche? Cool looking dude. Dude, this guy. Here's the thing. What a great question.

Here's the thing. My girl knows this. We're best friends, but we're not best friends. I have best friends. You're just the closest female friend I have. Really? For sure, dude. I'm going to get some shit for this.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to let you hang yourself, dude. Go ahead. I'll be over here right now. They call me the rope maker. Hey, no sex? So we're just chilling? I'm hanging out with my boys, man.

Me and my boys would get a place to live together. You know what I'm saying? No? Give me your rope, brother. Thanks, brother. Thanks, dude. Give me that big brown rope. Your rope, bro.

Dude, you didn't kick me. Oh, you want more? You want more rope, brother? We're sewing it as fast as we can. Dude. Can't, bro. You're telling me. Besides Derek. Come on. Yeah, bro. You're telling me, besides Derek,

but in general, you're telling me... Derek, first of all, his girlfriend is obviously a kidnap victim, okay? The only thing she's ever done is cook and clean and wait for him to bust nuts at home. Bro, yeah. What's the 50s, Derek? Let her flop her wings.

Get outside the fucking apartment, dude. Let's open the window every now and then. She likes it in there. At least let her change the channel. Derek, who I see buying WD-40 for all the chains that he's got on his girl all the time. This poor girl, man. First of all, I love you, Amogadabush. And I hope to see you soon.

If I was coming to Dubai, bro, we would definitely kick it, man. I really appreciate this foreign shout-out. And, yeah, Humpjitsu, that is a fucking good, that is kind of a nice name. I couldn't pick up what he said. He's talking about Khabib's style of fighting, Humpjitsu? Yeah, that Humpjitsu. Interesting.

When he gets on. And I think it's probably got to be hard to wrestle somebody who also, if it's a tough man, feeling like they're humping you a little bit. It makes it a little. It makes it easier for you to win, I think. But, no, I mean, look, Khabib is amazing. Obviously, cheering for Dustin Poirier.

And he's amazing, too, bro. So anything can happen. That's the thing. They got to fight. They're only one way to find out. Maybe Saturday. And get the pay-per-view by. I think it's going to be a good one, man.

At 11 a.m., we're doing a fight companion for it. So that should help views, too. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's crazy, man. I'll just be at my place, I guess. Anyway, so what I'm saying is this, dude.

I'm going to rush. What'd you call him? What? What fucking realm did you come from? What was that? I called him his name, you freak. What's his name?

What'd you call him? He just called him two different names. I can What's his name? Marabush. What did you call him? Whoa, he just called him two different names. I can't decide. It's one of those. Let me see the spelling. It's M-A- There is no spelling, dude. Just pick some letters.

M-A-B-U-B-A-S-H. Yeah, Magadabush. Magadabush. Magadabush. Magadabush. Magadabush. First of all, Magadabush, you seem like a nice gentleman, and I'm glad you are doing well. And yeah, hanging out with friends or just a girl, what was it?

Hanging out with friends or your girl, but you can't have sex with a girl. There's no sex. So would you rather hang out with a girl or your boy? Well, your girl. Well, are we watching Dateline? You watch whatever you want want do you and your friends watch dateline no i'll it would be uncomfortable to watch with my friends but i could watch shows i gotta watch just with my girl yeah i could watch it like i can't watch 90 day fiance with

theo you know what i'm saying how good is that show bro we should get together and watch it man bro we should do 90 Day Fiance breakdowns. Yeah. People would love that, bro. Hell yeah. I think we're the only ones that watch it, but let's do it. We are not the only ones that watch it, dude. Billions of people watch it.

My favorite's the black guy who has the hottest Russian girl, but she just never texts him back. He's made plans for two years and keeps sending her money. Then he'll be like, she sent this video four months ago. She'll be like, what's up, baby? I love you. And then he's at the airport. He's like, I still haven't heard from her. But my bags are packed and we're meeting in Mexico.

Of course she doesn't show up. First of all, also it's about time we get some of these black guys back for the Nigerian scams that have been going on. So don't really feel bad for that guy. You ain't lying. But I will say this that I think if you're watching a certain show dateline 90 day fiance that's okay ghost hunters yeah if you're watching real housewives orange county yeah if you're watching a real piece of shit television then

definitely you want to do that with your old lady yeah because you're not going to judge you yeah my boy's a clown me for watching fucking watching what say it The Bachelorette. You know what I'm saying? That's right. It's good, man. So it's only good early on when it's chaos. Yeah. I watch the fuck out of. When they got people in their name like Lavender. Yeah.

And like, yeah, they have like. Then they have to pass a certain amount of black people. And you know the girl's not into black people. It's so strange to me, man. Oh, when they do it like that. Well, why don't they just. Yeah, but I think sometimes you don't know. Especially these days, but I think you just

don't know. Oh, did you see when it was the black girls, the bachelorette? And so it was a bunch of black dudes, and she's picking them, and they're playing basketball, and they're playing like a pickup game to win a date with her, and homeboy's married, and his wifey comes in the gym. You've never seen that

one? Oh, dude. She's like, you're married? He's like, damn, my bad, girl. Damn, my bad, girl. The bachelorette. Check ball, check ball. It turned from the bachelorette to fucking real loving hip hop real quick. ABC was like, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

Anyway, so girl or guys, boy? Like I said. Depends what you're guys, boy? Like I said. Depends what you're doing, right? Yeah, and I think that, yeah, that I would love to see you when I get over there to Abu Dhabi in the future. When Khabib wants to try to get his belt back, I'll come over there. They ain't doing it there again. Yeah. Please don't. If he tries to get the belt back, they're doing over there. They ain't doing it there again. Yeah. Please don't.

If he tries to get the belt back, they're doing New Orleans. Yeah, let's do it somewhere. We'll just do it in America. Yeah, let's just do it anywhere. That's a fucking place that people can get to. Dude, I went on the globe to look to see where it was. So first I go to London. I'm like, okay, I've been on that flight before.

I can kind of see what that's like. Then if you spin the globe 19 times the other direction, finally Abu Dhabi pops up. You spin it 17 times, nope, you're not getting in. It's almost like one of those locks on your locker in high school. It's like you had to get that bitch just right, dude. Just right, or you just stand out there. What do you guys think? Let's go over here.

Let's get Jet. Let's get ladies in Chinese. You know what Chin's going to say? Well, I don't have a girl right now so oh ladies in the front ladies in the back dead bodies in the front dead bodies in the back cheese in the car chin in the back yeah yeah so all i have is my boys to you so you'd rather hang with the boys? I have no girl right now. Let me ask you this though, Jay.

It's hypothetical, man. This guy's not real. This guy's not even real. This is an animation from Aladdin. Hey, no, but if you were going to go eat Korean barbecue, which you do all the time, would you rather be a table full of your girlfriends or your boys? Remember I told you that if you go with Korean girls, they do everything for you.

They make it for you. It's all right with the girlfriends. You just get to sit there and sleep even? They cook. You can sleep if you want. They cook. They pour you shots. It's like Derek's girl. That's Derek's lifestyle, bro. Derek's girl or the missing person? Derek's lifestyle, bro. It's a lifestyle, baby. Yeah. Derek's girl or the missing person?

Derek's girl or the fucking sex slave he keeps in the basement? Jesus Christ. I know. It gets worse for that girl. Oh, yeah. I've seen Derek's girl on these wanted posters before. Kat, you're chilling with your lady. You seem like the type that has a lot of guy friends.

Yeah, I have girlfriends too. I think as much as I like hanging out with my man, I got to hang out with my girls. It's my girls. Because when you're with your significant other, they want to have you make the most responsible decisions. That's true. Here's the other thing. There's not much to talk about. There's not much to talk about. I've been with my girl for a hot minute, dude.

Sounds like a lukewarm minute now. Sometimes we go to dinner and just stare at each other. It's a staring contest. She's winning. She's up 7-1. I think what you're saying is really true, that, that, yeah, it's like, what did you say again? I just want to go and have, if I'm trying to have fun, I want to go out with my girls.

Yes. If I'm trying to have like a low-key night, then I'll go with my man. Right. It's interesting. Yeah, it's like you can't be irresponsible, as you said. You can't be irresponsible around like your significant other. Especially because my group of friends are enablers, so that's usually how things go. They get wildcat?

Damn. Damn, girl. I have fun. Oh, damn. Damn. Even Chin turned a little bit of, Chin fucking put his cheese away. Chin got the cheese out. He's about to get loose.

Yeah, dude. Chin said, go on. You like a sharp cheddar? What do you like? Yeah, yeah. How many of there are there? Brennan, look, his concealed only name is sharp cheddar. I love that.

That's the only one he likes is sharp cheddar. I know, Chin. Yeah, but you know Brennan was hoping to pull a different cheese out of his brain. And he looked at him like, I love cheese, man. I can name a shitload of cheese. I can name more cheese than you. You cannot, bro. Yes, I can. Let's do it right now. I'll go, then you go. Ready?

He gets to start with his. Go on. Ready? Swiss. Oh, bro. I probe alone, baby. Parmesan. With nobody else, dude. That's what I'm saying. Parmesan. Let me see. Yakety yak. Pepper jack. That's what I'm saying, bro. Sharp cheddar.

Whoa. We're just going. We're going, dude. That's a serial killer cheese, bro. Let me go with that Gruyere, boy. What about that Becky Bree? Oh, no, dude. Is that a real thing?

Becky Bree. Bree's a cheese. He's good with Bree. Bree's a cheese. It's a warm cheese. Becky, Breeze and Cheese. He's good with Breeze. Breeze and Cheese. It's a warm cheese. God, dude. Sometimes I got the rhythm and sometimes I got the blue cheese, baby. I feel you, dude.

Damn, bro. He's on the ropes. He's on the ropes. No, I'm not. Bro. Yeah, bro. No, no. Yeah, he is.

He's thinking right now. Bro, I got one in the chamber. Dude. How about that Gouda? That's not a cheese, is it? Gouda's a cheese. I know my cheese so well, you think that's fucking bad. Did he pronounce it right or not?

He got it right. He got Gouda. Once the judges are good on Gouda. Damn, he's good and he's bad because I'm talking about goat cheese, bitch. Goat cheese. Now you better fucking cheese check yourself. Oh, you think I'm done? I think you're fucking done.

You gotcha. No more cheeses in the chamber, boy. That's what I think. I'm loaded with cheese like gin, bro. No, you're not, bro the chamber, boy. That's what I think. I'm loaded with cheese like gin, bro. No, you're not, bro. Yeah, yeah, dude. Keep thinking, dude. Gin ain't shit, bro.

Did someone hit up that fucking provolone hitter? No. I said provolone. Did he? Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. What's up with that mild cheddar?

What's up with that mild cheddar? That's a different type of cheddar. That's a different type of cheddar. That's a different type. How about that sweet red cheddar? I got cheddars all day, bro. Sweet red cheddar? That's real. That's a type of cheddar.

That's fucking real. That's real. I buy it. It's from England. It's a place in England. Sweet red cheddar. Jesus Christ. I buy it from It's from England. It's a place in England. Sweet Red Cheddar. I buy it from Whole Foods, dude. Right there.

Sweet Red. That's a company. No, that's a type of cheddar. I promise. The company's called something else. Scroll in. It's interesting where it says Sweet Red LLC. No, no, no. Scroll in.

The company's called Summerdale or something like that? Summerdale. Sweet Red Cheddar. Suck this. Is that real cheese, though? Yeah, that's all I buy. It's another cheddar, though. It's a different type.

If we had to go to the judges, I don't think we'd be able to. I don't know, guys. Let's go to the cheese Chinese over here. What do we do? Somebody. So here's another one. How about Asiago? Okay, hold on.

What's up, bro? What's up? Now you go. What's up, bro? You get a fucking cheese mulligan? This is a type of cheese I've just given out for while you're still fucking sweet. Sweet red, bro. That's a cheese. Dude, that's a four while you're still fucking sweet. Red, bro? That's a cheese. Dude, that's a fucking

hooker's nickname, bro. That's a real cheese, bro. You don't need a cheese. I'll see you. I'll go for the win. That's your mom calling to give you more ideas. No. Oh, it's yellow off. Ask him. Oh, bro. Oh, yellow cheddar.

How about that? No, they're yellow cheddar. How about that? No, they're all yellow. How about... Do you have something? Do a real one. Do a real one, bro. Oh, fuck. I just slipped on something.

What was that? Oh, cream cheese, bitch. Cream cheese, bro. Cream cheese. Is that a real cheese? Yes. Okay. That's a cheese? I mean, that's the thing, man.

It's like we getting, you know. Is it a real cheese, bro? Cream cheese, that counts. Does it? Kind of. I don't know if it does. But is it just a style of cheese, you know? We kind of know our cheeses, though, don't we?

I don't know. I can't remember if you said this one or not. Let's play it. That bad mother mozzarella, bro. Did we play that one? Did we or not? I don't think so. And now I'm just going.

Are you? I got that fucking string cheese, baby. What's up? No way. What's up, bro? Don't touch me, bro. What's up, bro? Do not touch me, dude.

Bust, bust, cheese, cheese for the win. No way, dude. Fuck yeah. String cheese, that's a band. That is a band, dude. Okay, fuck, what it is. Type of cheese, that's all I know. That is a band, dude. Okay, fuck. What is this type of cheese? That's all I know about that string of henna.

Let's move on, Doug. Boy, we did know a cheese though. We didn't know that many. We spent 20 minutes going over cheese. Yeah, you did six of the second one. I had to get detailed on your ass. I had to go with sweet red from England, bro. Chin, you like a sharp cheddar?

Check that shit out. What else we got, D? 64% of people said hang with their boys. Is this relationship advice? Does this guy want to go with a girl or a boy? I don't know how he got the cheese, but that's what. Hopefully we have an invite to the wedding. There you go, man.

All right, boys. That is it on that. We'll go to relationship advice next. Don't come at me with that cheesy hitter, bro. Don't do that, bro. Dang, bro. This is... That mac and cheese.

You didn't land nothing, bro. You fucking had that Swiss miss, bro. That string cheese fucking bomb of the night. Two outs. String it. String and land nothing, bro. You fucking had that Swiss mist, bro. Dude, that string cheese fucking bomb of the night, two outs. String it. String and a mist, bro. That ain't shit, dude. Nah, bro. That's a shape of cheese, okay?

I can't do macaroni and cheese. Dude, you started just yelling out colors. Blue cheese, black cheese, red cheese. What else we got? Oh, red cheese was you. Sweet red. First of all, if you've never had Sweet Red, that shit is fantastic. That's a company, dude.

No, it's not. Craft Cheese. No. Craft Cheese. Robert Craft. Hand Jobs. Florida. What's this dude want, Doug?

Okay, this is Weston, guys. This is Weston coming for some relationship advice. Weston in after the hotel. What Weston, guys. This is Weston coming for some relationship advice. Weston in after the hotel. What's up, guys? I need some relationship advice. Gang, bro. I'm serious. Theo, you might not get this because you have those locks.

Brendan, I at least know you have hair. What do you do when you have a great personality and you can get any girl you want? We'll take it easy. Yeah, I'm in my Kia Soul. Yeah, that's a car seat in the back. Don't worry, no babies are in it. Gang, bro. What do you do when you're trying to get a girl and you can get them?

With your personality, your looks, when you're wearing a hat. But as soon as you take that hat off, gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Help your brother out. Gang, gang, bald, bald. You know what I'm saying? It's tough, man.

Also, get a wig. Michael Jordan. Most black guys. Oh, hold up. Black dudes don't count. That's a style for them. For white people, it is... An affliction. Not good.

It's not good. It's not good. Let's just be real. It's not good when for them, for white people. It is not good. It's not good. It's not good. Let's just be real. It's not good when you're bald. Yeah. Bald is like our diabetes. Ooh, I feel that. You know what I'm saying, though?

Absolutely. It's like something that's milling around. And if it happens, it's very frowned upon. It's just alarming. It's like always milling in the distance. By the way, it's very always milling in the distance. I mean, he bought a wig. It's very frowned upon in the white community. But I think, bro, I think, first of all, he seemed like an athletic guy. If you're athletic, it goes better with bald than not athletic.

Although, Amazon, he's not athletic. He looks good. Billionaire, bald ass. But he also had to be a billionaire to get any fucking puss, probably. Billionaire. But he also had to be a billionaire to get any fucking puss, probably. You know, a $25,000 a year Jeff Bezos dude? He's just an internet troll.

You know what I'm saying? In a Chrysler 300. Man, I'm not mad at the wig game these days. We go to a restaurant. This dude has a fantastic wig. And it's a way to get a conversation started. Yeah, and also, here's one thing that I thought about. I thought about coming out with some new wigs, because it's also like a fad that's been gone for so long that it's almost due for a resurgence. I was watching some crime show yesterday or something,

and some lady had a wig, dude. And I was like, oh, hell yeah, bro. But listen, most black girls wear wigs, and they're dope. Yeah, black girls wear wigs. Yeah, that's a good point. You'll see a black girl with a wig. And they look sexy. Oh, dude, I remember this one lady had a fucking champagne glass in her. You know?

For sure. And it was like built into the style, you know? I saw one with serious radio in her hair. Also, what's crazy, one lady had a router. I remember fucking getting a signal. Wireless router. I've seen her around Santa Monica. The other thing

is though, I didn't know all black girls wear wigs because there's this pretty black girl. All black girls don't wear wigs. Well, if they have like long hair, a lot of them have extensions or wigs. But this one girl came in, she had like dope red hair. Next day she had green. I was like, damn, she'll spend all night dying her hair. So I think what goes good with a wig

is confidence. You got to have that hair. So I think what goes good with a wig is confidence. You got to have that confidence. So I'd love to see some nice toupees on a man. We see a man here locally that have a toupee on at lunchtime. Fuck. We laugh. We laugh. Yeah, that's not helping a guy.

What? You can't tell the other we laugh, dude. That's not the part you tell us. No, no. I'm saying he laughs, we laugh because he knows he's killing it. He's like, and it's so obvious. He'll show up, and that bitch is just, he'll be like, what's up, boys? What can I help you with?

One day he had to put it into a little shark fin at the top. And I love that, because you could take on a dance floor and be that kind of shark on the dance floor. You know how people tip their hats? He tipped his toupee to us. He went, how you doing, boys? And I was like, oh, there it is. There it is. But I'll say this. I think one thing is you can use it as a motivation tool to stay physically fit because having

no hair on your head but being physically fit, I think that kind of matches. That's kind of sexy. It's kind of sexy, right? You look like the UFC logo. Yeah, your head looks okay, bro. Dude, if I lose my hair, bro, I am never going to work again, bro. Never. My head is totally flat on the top. Yes, it's tough. okay, bro, dude, if I lose my hair, bro, I am never going to work again, bro. Never.

My head is totally flat on the top. Yes, it's tough. So it's going to get real awkward in a couple years. You're going to look like a Lego piece. Yeah, I'm going to look like a fucking Lego, bro. I'm going to Lego my ability to work on camera. Lego of your bank account. Yeah, bro. But with this dude, also, you could do the LeBron James.

Spray paint that bitch. Look like a Pittsburgh Steeler. You know what I'm saying? Also, the other thing you can do is you can just kind of go the Professor X route. Get a wheelchair. Get real skinny. I think there's different styles of two. I'm just spitting ideas out here.

I don't know what's going to stick. Chin has low hair or no hair. don't even know you know you go involved but he has glasses though is it yeah for sure but do you feel uncomfortable because I feel like this look fits you do you feel uncomfortable I like it when it's short and I like it when it's long so we'll pick I would say for that dude if you can grow facial hair I think a ball always looks good but here's the thing you see how he has the bird's nest on the side

like an old man ditch that shit you gotta have it all shaved grow out that nice little that beard hitter look like Zac Brown and start dicking girls down dude who else is losing hair in here

no you losing some you couldn't get any more hairy Derek your shit's getting a little thin isn't it yeah but

I can go bald black guys it's a tight style yeah but I can go bald and I still black guys it's a tight style yeah baby yeah and Derek yeah and also Derek

will have long hair sometimes he doesn't really your hair doesn't really seem like it does it do you think about your hair a lot

it thinks I'm tall but I can still grow it out long but do you think about it a lot like does it no it doesn't bother me do you four hymns

do you four hymns have you ever thought about it no man Rogaine I just let it go if it went I just would let it go I don't care see now that's your No, it doesn't bother me. Do you use four hymns? Do you use four hymns? Have you ever thought about it? No, man. Rogaine? I just let it go. If it went, I just would let it go. I don't care.

See, now that's your attitude. Now that's a good attitude to have. White guys aren't like that. But here's the thing. He doesn't have to worry about his girl because she's blindfolded. She doesn't know the difference. That's a good point. Yeah.

No, you look good. You look good. Yeah, she definitely. Bust those nuts. I'm going to let you go today. I'm just joking with you. I'm just fucking around. I'm going to get my hair done.

Dude, she hates that joke, but I love it. I love it. But now one thing I'll say is this, though. A lot of it is your attitude towards it as well. Confidence, you're saying. Because, dude, man, I started to notice my hair is getting thin in the front and in the top. Really? Your shit is thick, bro.

Bro, but I noticed it, right? So then in my mind, it starts getting to be a bigger thing. And then I start getting paranoid. I start wearing hats. I start like, you know, talking to people and looking the other direction. I start doing things that seem obtuse for human communication. You're wearing bandanas. Yeah, yeah.

Dude, I'm not joking. I know. Dude, doing this movie training thing, I was like, oh, maybe I'll wear a bandana. Like, I just start thinking of things. So then a lot of it is, then I'm fearful, my confidence is gone. Then it's like I'm trying to talk to a girl, I'm hiding in the bushes. You know what I'm saying? I'm not even a peep in time.

I'm just a guy who just has hair concerns. Now you're a catfish. Yeah, now I'm- You're catfishing, bitches. Yeah, now I'm Neve Lieberman or whatever that guy's name is. Neve Shulman. Neve. Yeah. Dude, you look dope in a bandana though.

Yeah. Do you tie, the small one, then tie it and you got the long hair out the back? But with no hair on the top, it's insane, bro. No, it's a bummer with no hair on the top. But you have hair on the top. I have hair on the top. But also then, you know, there's surgeries you can get these days where you get some other hair taken off.

But for you, I don't know if I would do that, man. I think I would just. You got a nice round head, dude. Yeah. I would just fucking rock with a round head and have confidence. Try glasses if you want. Try some different things. Yeah, I would just fucking rock with the round head and have confidence. Try glasses if you want. Try some different things. Yeah, but also dress nice.

But also, you got to ditch the side, the bird's nest, dude. That's number one. That makes you look old and no one's attracted to that shit. Yeah, then you look like you're going bald, whereas now you look like you're making more of a choice. Like, you control it, bro. Like, you control it. Yeah, Father Time's your barber.

But you control it, dude. Get it fucking shaved tight to Yeah, Father Time's your barber. Yeah. But you control it, dude. Yeah. Get it fucking shaved tight to the sides. And dude, I also just got my hair cut at a casino in Biloxi, Mississippi the other day and had the absolute fucking worst haircut of my life. Really? Because you look exactly the same. Really?

Yep. Thanks, man. Yep. All right. Well, good luck, man. Oh, God. That's it, boys. Jesus Christ.

Fantastic. Good to have you back, man. Good to be back, God. That's it, boys. Jesus Christ. Fantastic. Good to have you back, man. Good to be back, man. Good for you to take a break from the Hollywood life and join the peasants down here. Yeah, man. Well, it's nice down here, and it's good to see everyone. Everyone's doing well. And nice to see Chin back, too, just to hear Chin.

I miss that guy. Yeah, he doesn't look thrilled, but if you just give him a wheel of cheese, he'll be fine. Good to see you, man. You got any shows coming up? Great comment, huh? You got any shows coming up? Yeah, I got some shows. They're going to put a few shows back on the books, and I got some shows in Europe that are in January now.

And what else, man? I know you were just at that Oroville Casino. How was that? Oroville's fun, dude. Was it? Easy gig, fun. It's a cool kind of concert setup.? Orville's fun, dude. Was it? Easy gig, fun. Great, like, it's a cool, like, kind of concert setup. Yeah.

Uncle Cracker did it, dude. Also, Taylor Swift did it. No way. Now, she was 14, but she was still there. That's all that we care about. Dude, you think Kid Rock would beat her ass if they were in a fight or not? Is that an appropriate conversation? I think it would be a good fight.

I think it's a good fight. I think Uncle Cracker beats the fuck out of both of them. Yeah. Bubba Sparks, though. Oh, dude. Why you got to bring Bubba into it, dude? You know, come on. Now, Paul Wall?

Oh, that's who I met in a bathroom one time in New Orleans. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. What? The People's Champ. I met him in a bathroom in New Orleans one time. He was so nice. And it was hard to talk to him because somebody pressed that fucking hand dryer. What an asshole.

Oh. Can't you see I'm trying to talk to Paul Wall? God, it's Paul Wall. How much time do I get with Paul Wall? And the irony was, and I even was like, Paul Wall, wall dryer, and it was like a bad joke, and it was just fucking awkward, and then he just walked out of there. Damn, you should have got some fronts from him. And some scissor.

He sells scissor on the side, too. Oh, yeah. Some grills. Dude, I'm going to Houston. He smelled like Dimetap. His breasts smelled like Dimetap. Makes sense. Robitussin.

I'm going to Paul Wall town. I'm in Houston, September 20th, 21st. Big D coming with me, Doug. Culture, culture. Oh, damn, I love that to tap. Makes sense. Robitussin. I'm going to Paul Wall Town. I'm in Houston September 20th, 21st. Big D coming with me, Doug. Culture, culture. Oh, damn. I love that, dude. Well, Chin and Cat are going to perform with me somewhere then. Oh, perfect, dude.

That'll be funny. Yep. We're going to have a cheese meetup. Well, look forward to that. Me and Derek will be in Houston with Paul Wall drinking scissor, being getting some grails. Well, hashtag very dairy for our next meetup. Hope you guys come on out. Come on out.

Bring some bold. All right, I'm at the Ice House September 12th. Are you? Culture Corner will be there. Yeah, if you're in town, let me know, dude. September 12th, Ice House Pasadena. That's a Thursday. That's next Thursday.

And then I'm in Houston September 20th,th 21st and then denver after that baby hometown end of uh september i'm in denver comedy works downtown i love it and uh good luck to dustin this weekend man good luck dog The King and the Skull