The Golden Hour - Episode 40: Cream Me Up, Scotty!

Episode Date: October 10, 2019

The guys talk Hamburgers vs Hotdogs, Magic City Hounds, Milky Squad Cows, Sumo Wrestlers w/Eating Disorders, Taco Bell Goalies, Home Owner Erotic's, Thighceps, Trucks w/Scoliosis, VR Porn and much more!1. Honey - https://joinhoney.com/KATS2. MVMT - https://mvmt.com/KATS3. Postmates - Download Postmates offer code: KATS20194. Indochino - https://indochino.com/ code: KATS See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

cancel what's the opposite of promotion that's theo yo's promotion you're canceled i'm canceled bro canceling you theo's promotion yeah dude, dude. Dang, boy. Dang, John. Cancel it. Look. Theo, you got the black vote. Thank you, bro. That's what I'm saying, boy. Makes sense. Beige power, baby. Beige power.

Dude, I'm darker than you, bro. You are not. Who's tanner? Cat? You're one of those mountain whites. Right now, it's Theo. Oh, you're using white. Yeah. Bro, I haven't seen the sun in years.

I'm constantly tan like this, bro. You got that fake tan. No, you're not.. Bro, I haven't seen the sun in years. I'm constantly tan like this, bro. You got that fake tan. No, you're not. You're not that tan. You have brown tattoos on your arm. You have brown tattoos on your arm. Yeah, you have fake. You have ink.

Inked up, dog. It's like skin color. What is that? Gucci? You're wearing Gucci? That's dope. I don't know what this is, I think. Chevron or something.

I don't know where I got this shit at. Yeah, what do you even get? Was that a pajama top? And you just said, you know what? No, it was a dog shirt. See all the dogs on it? Yeah. A lot of endangered animals, brother.

I like a nice mutt myself. You look like one of those shitty shirts that people sell on those Instagram ads all the time. You're talking about Fashion Nova? Is it Fashion Nova? Me and Carter G? Fashion Nova men. And it's like some guy wearing a fucking... It's some guy wearing a fucking lampshade.

You're like, that shit looks horrible. You dress like you came from the worst gay parade. Whatever, dude. There goes our gay audience. There's nothing wrong with it. That's just what you look like. You came from the parade. Dude, this shirt is about dogs.

Don't you care about dogs? That's not a shirt. Those are pajamas where I come from. You feel me? Those are PJs. Dude, I got this at a Bucky's gas station, dude. You don't know anything. Shout out to Bucky's.

Bucky's, great gas station. Largest gas station in the whole world is a Bucky's. Correct. And you could also get, what's their thing there? One of them is 100,000 square feet. They got everything in there. Much gas you want, dude. Is that on the East Coast?

It's in Texas. It's in Texas all over. Buc-ee's, the big beaver. Oh, I wasn't allowed to go there. You weren't? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're known for their jerky. They're known for their jerky.

You can change a tire there. They're known for their human jerky, according to according to Chappelle's cheerleading coach. Apparently they're shooting Remember the Titans 2. We need a cheer movie like that. Yeah, y'all need one. We need one.

Because what do you guys have? You have Bring It On? It's whack. Bro, let's get what's on Remember. Y'all lame. The hood versus the white people? That's great.

And then they combine? No, they don't combine. Step it up. Oh, no, that was a porno. Step it up, I think, is that one? Step up? Or is that about construction? Step up, no.

Step up, I think, is dancing. Hey, what's the- Oh, it is? Is that the one with- Channing Tatum. Ooh. Oh, no, you're thinking- No, you're thinking Magic Mike.

No, Channing Tatum's going to step up. He can dance, bro. White boy can dance. He can super dance. Yeah, he can dance. You're thinking of Fired Up. Yeah, you're thinking of Fired Up. With the two dudes.

Bro, dude. You look like somebody that failed out of Japanese class. What kind of fucking jacket is that? I look like someone who failed out of English class, bro. You look like you went to rehab for drinking too much Coke Zero. I just can't get enough. It's good. All right, let's crack into some of these topics, man.

A little clown my hound up first, boy. A couple of hounds. That fits. With his shirt. That's what I'm saying what i'm saying it fits brother dive on the hounds you know some of these animals what kind of that you think uh what do you got there i see a lassie i see a pug a lassie's not an animal it's an animal's first name what is that right you got hats on it was that a little that's the puggy pug isn't it that? That's a Scottish hound right there. Oh, you got that schnauzer. Look at this. You got that wiener dog.

That one looks like a large shot. Where do you buy something like that? Did you get that at Bucky's? Oh, no, dude. This is nice. I thought it was Gucci for a second. I did. Whoa.

What's really Gucci is this one. This is Xiaomi. This is Gucci, man. What's really Gucci is this one. This is Xiaomi. This is Gucci man. What's happening here? This little bad bitch over here, huh? Trying to make it rain. Clap, clap, clap. This is Magic City in Atlanta for the hounds, apparently.

And the wink. Look back at it. Look back at it. You feel me? Look back at it. No, I don't feel you, dude. I'm an adult. Really? This is insane. In those pajamas. Wouldn't at it. You feel me? Look back at it. No, I don't feel you, dude. I'm an adult. Really?

This is insane. In those pajamas. Wouldn't think so. You feel me? Bro. Dude, I went in my little. Designer narcoleptic wear. Yes, dope.

First of all. Again, I like it. I approve it. I went in my little juvenile in the background of this dog. A little slow motion. Yeah. Yo, white girls always taking pics like that, bro. Is that true?

Every Instagram model, huh? Just like that. Is something in the dog's eye, you think, or it's winking? I think that's a wink. Apparently, it does this a lot. This is Siyomi. It pops that butt back and winks all the time. And from Las Vegas, this dog.

Oh, from Vegas. Vegas dog. Apparently, you can find her at Spearmint Rhino. Why is the dog's hair pink? They dye it too? It's hair isn't it? Skin is pink. That's the skin.

No, I don't think so, guys. Look at the air. Look at the face. They're dyeing this hound. This hound has died. This hound's almost dead. It's an older animal. I don't think so.

I think this hound's a real slut. You do? Yeah, written all over it, dude. The wink of the eye, the ass, the pizza emoji they sent me last night. What's the dog's name? Siyomi. Oh, Siyomi. She's urban, I guess.

It drinks Sierra Mist, apparently. This dog does look like it drinks Sierra Mist right out of a doggy bowl. Throw that C on me, okay. All right. What else we got here, Derek? Oh, man. We got a toaster up next. Oh, is this an animal?

Oh, yeah. Great lawn. Toaster looks like the dog from The Mask a little bit. Oh. Wow, okay. So Toaster. You know when you start to look like your dog? That's what they say.

People start to turn into their dogs. Do they really? Yeah. Like my grandma had a hound dog forever. And her ears got longer? Just saying. Dang. Yep, a hound dog forever. And her ears got longer? Just saying. Dang. Yep, skin started to droop.

Wow, she started drinking out of a bowl? Wow, that's insane. It's insane. It's insane, right? Yeah. Taking her for walks all the time and shit. She started just rubbing her back on the carpet like that? Just started wiping her ass on the carpet, just scooting along.

That's your grandma, chill out man you gotta have really respect right and what's her 99th birthday by the way is it next month is she alive she's alive 99 wow that's awesome man wow good for her man you should have her in here big girl is she big girl bring her in how big can she be at 99 how big you think huh how big you think what do you think i get it from you think these thick jeans are for my skinny dad yeah you can't get me my my grandma could play nose guard for the fucking usc trojans right now bro and be like a mean run stopper wow yeah good luck getting through damn that's sheldon rankins huh i love it now this animal yeah they seem like they really have gone beyond the the pet owner treaty a little too close aren't they i see that i see where they're going

with this long road trips looks like it's Looks like it's his best friend. You feel me? Tim, what else did you say about this animal? He's a nine-month-old Australian cattle dog. They're known as Blue Heeler. I'm not buying that. Nine months? Come on, bro.

Get out of here. What's a Blue Heeler? This dog. It's a type of lizard. Oh. Them Blue Heelers, bro. Dude, I'm not mad at that juicy-ass nose, though. I like a fresh wet nose dude

You do? Yeah that's my thing Like I like to grab horses nose They feel like peaches They're soft Cows Favorite part of the cow I love noses

Pigs Oh that's nice Yeah I'm a big nose guy man Cats Me Usually code Your nose

I always compliment your nose Yep Kind of Shout out to this dog What else we got? Oh man usually code your nose I always compliment your nose kind of shout out to this dog what else we got up next we got Hank and his buffer hose whoa whoa

show me one of those damn that's a real one that's some thoughts right there. Yeah. This looks like they're dropping a new mixtape. Yep. Tape.

On No Limit Records. That's what it looks like. Wow. They stand behind there, man. I know, huh? This is what I'm talking about. These are Saudi Arabian, it looks like. A couple ribeyes, you feel me, bro?

Damn. And what's this animal saying? What's going on here? Hank, he's a hank he's an eight-year-old cane corso boxer cross and he always sneaks out in the middle of the night to go get between these ladies damn his name's hank hank yeah hank busting nuts man yeah where's he at minnesota canada uh they didn't say i'm gonna guess somewhere yeah somewhere up north yeah he's super cold beautiful that whole That whole thing looks fun.

That whole tribe, that milky squad, bro. He's got those dairy cows with him. Damn, you ain't lying, bro. And they're beautiful cows. Look at them. God, they're good-looking cows. What are they, a red? Why do you think he's sneaking out?

Yeah, that's true. Hitting them big reds, bro. Ain't talking about that bubble gum, you feel me? Yeah, he's really a beautiful animal Yeah That dog looks sad as fuck though Does he? Yeah

Looks pretty depressed there Well He just got caught cheating on his wife Ooh Or there's There's animals could be going to slaughters Oh He won't have his

Could have Really hard Yeah They have tags on them That say blood No They don that say blood. No, they don't say blood. Yeah, they're gang members. They're crips, bro.

They are? Yeah. I would know. I would know. Yeah, look at those noses. What did it say? Blossom? Nothing for you?

I think they're cute animals. Aren't they cute? Yeah, the only thing about cows that gets me is they don't really do that much. Interesting. What do you mean by that? Inactivity, I mean. They're cute, though, you know? What do you want them to do?

Huh? Run, jump over something? You know, live their life a little. Yeah, just don't produce milk, right? Oh, I love milk. Just don't let it suck on your tits. Mix it up. Do cows suck on each other's tits or not they don't i've always had this weird thing i've always wanted to milk a cow man so bad just

oh god people do it all the time get that hot hose natural hitter that summer hose hitter bro yeah you gotta get it got to get it. That shit's warm. Whole milk? Dude, yeah, milk is, I've had it right out of the cow, dude. It's good and it's not good. It tastes like a baby, you know? It probably tastes a little too gamey, I think. Yeah. It tastes like it's for a baby and it tastes like it may have a baby in it. Yeah, I don't want that.

A little too much heartbeat in the milk. Yeah, not for me, dude. What else we got? But yeah, beautiful animal. What's his animal's name? Randall? Hank. Hank, yeah hank yeah big hank i could see that he's out there boy and he's on instagram i guess it's a beautiful picture best picture we've got on here yeah for sure fucking mesmerizing man up next little debate club boys uh up first we got our boy josh this is josh sullivan hey what up brendan what up theo it's your boy sullivan from chattanooga Up first, we got our boy Josh. This is Josh Sullivan.

Hey, what up, Brendan? What up, Theo? It's your boy Sullivan from Chattanooga, Tennessee. What's up, Sully? Man, I think I might have the Omega-level, five-star difficulty debate club question for you guys. All right, so let me know what you think. I'm looking for the ultimate pump-up jam hitter, dude.

And it's really just between two songs. I have a tiger. Did he forget? That Rocky 3, Rocky 4, Rocky 5, Rocky 6, Rocky 798 hitter, dude. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Or Danger Zone. Kenny Loggins, son. or danger zone Kenny Loggins son

that shit that got Tom Cruise turned to Scientology boy too many lone bike rides with this in your headphones dude you don't be believing in all kinds of gods y'all let me know man y'all set me straight gang gang buzz buzz

gang gang buzz great question dude i gotta be honest that uh danger zone does nothing for me really no that danger on some bull my way to the okay i kind of like it now. He changed his mind about that one. That's not it. No, you're thinking of Born to be Wild. Yeah. Here's the thing, dude. You want a song to pump you up?

Buy Jock Jams Volume 2. Every one of them is a hitter on there. Jock Jams Volume 2. Hey! Hey! Hey! That was the jam. That's that sex music right there. Yeah, or Mile High Denver Broncos music,

whatever. I'm gonna say, man, for me, this is the easy one. I went to LSU, so it's obviously that Eye of the Tiger. You hit that. It's just, anything can happen when you have an eye of the tiger. A lot of children have been conceived of that song. Oh, man. A lot of stuff's been created eye of the tiger.

Yep, eye of the tiger. Who wrote that song? Sylvester Stallone. Did he really? I think so. I think I met the guy who wrote it one night. Really? Yeah, his hair kind of died at an interesting time.

He's probably a band survivor. Yeah, Sylvester Stallone didn't write that? Yeah, Sylvester Stallone his hair is like kind of dyed an interesting color. He's probably a band survivor. Yeah, so who wrote it? So Salone didn't write that? Yeah, so Salone didn't write that shit. You guys bought that, you dumbasses? Oh. Frankie Sullivan. Come on, what do they got in here?

What is it? Who wrote it? Frankie Sullivan and Jim Petri. Let's see a picture of him. Can we get a picture? Look at Frankie Sullivan. Dude, don't act like you know Frankie. Yeah, I met that guy.

I met the guy on the left, actually. Can I hear it one time? Yeah, let me just... Let's just refresh the memory because I'm going hard in the pain on that danger zone bullshit. Here's the thing. I think Top Gun's so overrated. Top Gun? Yeah, fuck

that show. The planes aren't that fast. No, Top Gun? Yeah, fuck that show. The planes aren't that fast. No, dude. The planes aren't that fast. Oh. Slapping. Oh, look at this video. Yeah.

Oh, look at that fit, bro. There I am. There I am. He got his homies falling in with him? Yeah, that shit is real. Who came out that? Ooh. Ooh, that's me, too.

Yeah. Dude, look at these boys. Whole squad. Oh, it's a whole squad. A few. How's it going to have 107,000 dislikes? What kind of terrorists dislike this shit? Florida fans, probably. I'm going to go straight up and say say this has got it for me, dude.

All day. I don't know. Back on my feet. They could have used some culture in their group, though. They could use a little bit of culture. A little bit of culture. God. This is that Philadelphia fucking.

Back it up. Back it up. This is the kind of shit you mace somebody to, dude, and then apologize to them. Sorry about that. Yeah. This is where you buy a fucking Geno's Philly cheesesteak and spike in somebody's face. How many times do you think someone just fucked up walking? Oh, a lot.

You can tell, huh? God, these boys did it, didn't they? Yeah, they did it with us. This is America, motherfuckers. I don't know, man. Now that I'm hearing it again, bro, Danger Zone fucking hits a little harder. Hit that Danger Zone.

Real quick, we all know Top Gun was a gay plot, correct? Was it? Ah, dude, watch them play fucking volleyball. Yeah, no pants. No pants. Yeah, no pain Boys of the summer here Kenny Loggins 46 million views how many dislike only 8,000? lot of gay men. Oh, bro. We get Theo.

We get Theo. You guys got that same outfit on, bro. Get straight to the hard-hitting shit. Danger zone. This is the kind of shit you run from the cops to, dude. Poor Robo Bank. This song's weak. This song's weak it's not weak bro i like this one now that i'm hearing it i don't know something ah come on it's giving me up more it's giving

me up more than eye of the tiger no way it just did i didn't want it to fucking russians to that song, dude. I didn't want it to, bro, and it did. How do you think I feel? I've been taken advantage of by music. Kenny Loggins still alive? Huh? Yeah.

Yeah, he'll live forever. No, no, no, no, no, no. Kenny Loggins is alive. I don't think so. Yeah, he is. I think that. Okay. Loggins damn near killed him, dude. Is he alive?

I think that. He's still alive. No, he's still alive. Is he still alive. No, he's still alive. Is he? 71. Oh, he's only 71. Was he 19 when he wrote that? He's got eight children, bro.

Dude, he also sings Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose.

Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Footloose. Wow. You guys know that one? Yeah, but just so offbeat. That one gets me crunk. It does? I don't like that. He's so that one gets me i'm sorry cheerleader

i don't like that one brendan i don't like that one either so uh i'm gonna go i'm gonna stick with the eye of the tiger though that's my hometown jam so i'm gonna rock with that one that louisiana state i had tiger all fucking day i I don't like Top Gun. I don't like Danger Zone. What was it, D? 67%? I have a Tiger. Yeah, come on. Fucking America, bro. Up next, boys, we got Dennis from Atlanta. Oh, shit. Big Dennis. What up, Dio?

What up, Brandon? It's your boy, Dennis, out of Atlanta, Georgia. As you can tell, I'm on the way to go get me a lot lizard, baby. Yes, sir. But I got a debate topic for y'all, man. Would you prefer to get

buried or cremated when it's all said and done? Let me know. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I think a lot of soft people out there are going to say, cream me up, Scotty, you know? But I'm saying bury me. too bro yeah bury me inside the liquor store you feel me that's where i want to be dude okay i fucking bury me bro

in case i want to be come back i want to be haunting yeah i don't know what technology's gonna do you know what i'm saying maybe they can bump us back to live with some stem cells yeah these dumbasses burn their bodies. You're screwed either way. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So that's how a lot of people, you're going to keep population down. A lot of people can't come back.

No, put me in that earth. Put me on a nice tree or some shit. You feel me? Yeah, put me out there. Like Shawshank. Yeah. Shawshank me, bro. Put me out there.

Put me in your garden. Put me under the children's play area. Yeah, bury me under my kid's school. Yeah. I'll hunt the shit out of those little bastards. Yeah, little Daniel found a fucking occipital bone over there. What happened? You know?

Daniel found this big-ass beef rib bone, dog. Like on the Flintstones. Hell yeah. Yeah. Throw me into the tar pits of La Brea, baby. Put me with them dinosaurs. As my son says, Dysonors, bro. And as you say.

Yeah. What do you think? He got it, dog. Put me with them Brontosaurus, man. Dysonors, bro. Dysonors. Damn. A kid asked me for a toy.

I said, Papa, can I have one of these Dysonors? I went, did you say Dysonor? Grab that toy. kid asked me for a toy Said Papa can I have one Of these Dysonors I went Did you say Dysonor Grab that toy That's the cutest shit I've ever heard That's the cutest thing

I've ever heard I would say This and What does this guy want to do Buried or cremation What do you guys do You guys Who mummifies each other

Mummify Yeah There's still a culture That mummifies each other It's gypsians, bro. Gyps, they call them, yeah. The gyps. Yeah.

Is that racist? I don't think so. Can you say that? I mean, we just made it up. Well, no, there's gypsies. Right, that's different. That's a different group. And there's the gypsians.

Gypsies do asphalt. Most of them do an asphalt out there in the Midwest. They just fight each other bare knuckle to the death. Do they? Oh, yeah. Gypsies?

Gypsies are wild, bro. They'll steal your watch. do hvac a lot of them yeah shut the gypsies yeah they'll do asphalt yeah what do you guys do either one it's more of a money thing if you have money then you get then you get buried but if you don't have money you get cremated and maybe your ashes get spread somewhere yep it's always weird people that get cremated and they have the ashes in their crib. Oh, that's so weird. That's just good. Dump my shit over the Pacific, son. Do you?

A little dandruff on that great white. You feel me? Oh, damn. I bet if you had milk and eggs, you'd make a nice little cake, I bet.

It's just going to be real sweet. I eat too much candy, Doug. What are you guys doing over there in the urban community? In the urban community? Or in Arizona, sorry. In Arizona? Hey, spread me all over Mesa, Arizona, baby. Really?

Wow. A little fertilizer for them cactus. Yeah, bro. A little DeLa Monster. You want to be cremated or just thrown out the window of a car? Yo, throw me out the window. Oh, hell yeah. That's me, sir. That's what I'm saying.

I've never thought about it. Have you? I've thought about, honestly, being shot out of a cannon in the school yard. First kid that runs up and fucking touches my body gets whatever money I have. That's not a bad idea. Because most of the kids are going to be scared. There's going to be one creepy fucking kid who's going to wander over with a fucking shit-eating grin on his face

and steal one of my eyeballs out of my head with a stick. And I'm like, that kid. That's the winner, bro. That's the winner. Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing mine like an Easter egg hunt. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I put my body in one of these eggs, and the kids search for it.

Some get catberry eggs. Some get my body. Damn, bro. Some get Cadbury eggs. Some get my body. Damn, bro. It's a big-ass egg. It's a thick egg, bro. Thick like a Cadbury egg, bro. Man, this egg's wearing a shitty hat. Man, this egg has some tight-ass jeans.

Man, this egg got a big-ass dick. Oh, God, again. No, bro. Don't dump that up. Man, that's kids. The culture corner liked that one. Those are kids. The culture.

Cat loved it. Yes, Cat. Those are kids. Cheering right at you. All right, here we go. Man. Those are kids finding those eggs, man. All right, what else we got?

Yeah, what happened? The guy wants to what? His girlfriend hates him? Not probably. You want to see his girlfriend on fire? What, what happened? The guy wants to what? His girlfriend hates him? Probably. You want to see his girlfriend on fire? What's going on? 66% cremation.

Oh, wow. That's dark. Don't burn my body. Up next, this is Mark Schlett. I don't need a casket either. Bury me like true blood. Hopefully I pop up out the dirt. You feel me? TB, baby.

Yeah, baby. Tuberculosis, son. Hometown for you. Dark arts. Bury me, dude. I see you, Sookie. Bury me. So, baby. To break your low sun. Hometown for you. Dark arts. Bury me, dude. I see you, Sookie. Barely. Sookie.

Sookie. That's Bill Compton. Bro, you look like a fucking... Sookie. I'm sweating, bro. You look like a sumo wrestler with an eating disorder. Weirdest looking outfit I've ever seen. Mine's weird?

Mine's weird? What, did you steal yours from Ellen? What the fuck are you wearing, bro? You look like somebody who plays goalie at a Taco Bell, dude. That makes sense, bro. Yeah, but it's true. I got to be honest, dude. Thanks, bro.

Don't jump on this. Don't jump on this, bro. All right, who's this guy? This is Mark Schlett. Mark looks scared. Yeah. this, bro. All right, who's this guy? This is Mark Schlett. Mark looks scared. Yeah. Yo, boys. I got a debate club for you today.

We got a barbecue, a couple milfs, a couple dad's rocking the Nike Monarchs. Yeah. And they pose the question to you. Hamburgers or hot dogs? Question of the century. Theo, I feel like you've definitely eaten some dirty burgers from the trailer park. Definitely want to get your insight on this. Let me know.

Gang, gang, bun, bun, peace. Bun, bun, bun, bun, bun. That guy's a champ, bro. Yeah, he is. Yeah, I've eaten some estranged meats, you know? I've eaten some meats that are estranged from their family for sure. I'm going to go hot dog, dude. On a hot dog, dude.

On a hot dog, you can see the burn marks a little bit better. You can see what it's been through. You can see the tough times. You can see they'll have a scar someplace where they had little handcuffs on it or whatever. So I like that kind of thing more than a burger. You can't really see what it's been through that much. Yeah, I know what the fuck you're talking about. I like a nice 100% beef burger. I put some fucking deep cheddar cheese on top, bro.

Some quesadillas. Bro, he's asking about a hot dog. You're like, listen, I've had some times where I was in a parking lot smoking crack and the smell of hot dogs remind me of my mom here's the thing about my mom hot dogs remember one time we had a kid named hot dog Monterey. And the thing about this is, and he like to hit his head against the wall, man. Dude, I like my burgers.

Thank you. Thank you. You're disgusting, man. You're disgusting. Oh, God. I married Duke, the head of KKK, like hot dogs. Oh, wow.

So I'm going, the head of KKK, like hot dogs. Whoa, bro. Some dogs, we'd be grilling. He would say some racist things and whatever, man. Nothing more American than hot dogs. He's changed, bro, okay? What does this guy want to know? When grilling out burgers or hot dogs for you boys? I go hot dog, man, these days. I don't do it often, but in the summer I go, I'll throw a little fucking wiener.

Man, fuck a wiener. Listen, dude, if I'm going to eat a dog, it's going to be a brat. You feel me? A cheddar brat with a nice thick bun. I like that. I like that. Thick. I know.

Thick. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. I've just heard all the episodes. I know what you're like, bro. Like, catha Dillon Okay

Get the fuck out of this time Oh, I like hot dog, man This is about Dustin Poirier We go way back, man That double hitter, man I haven't heard you mention him since he lost You told me not to mention him He's a champ, bro Well, he's not, but I love him You told me not to mention him.

He's a champ, bro. Well, he's not, but I love him. Yeah, dude. I'm a hamburger guy. Bottom line, bro. He's a champ, brother. Oh, God. 86% burgers all day.

Yeah, get the fuck out of here. 86% burgers? Yeah, it's America, bro. What a bunch of fucking wieners, bro. Dude, we listen to Rocky and grill burgers, bro. I don't know where the fuck you're from. I want Eye of the Tiger and I want a damn fucking beef frank, daddy. Okay? 50% beef, dude.

Maybe, huh? Yeah. You never know with hot dogs, do you? It says. You only say 100%. You really don't taste the hot dog. I got to do the math. It tastes about 60.

It tastes about 16. Yeah. That thing's slimy as fuck. Yeah. Also, do you guys have the kids growing up, Bean and Franks? They'd have beans with cut up. Yeah, with cut up hot dogs in them. Oh, yeah.

Wean and Beaners, bro. You like them? Them Wean and Beaners, bro. You like the pig in the blanket? You like them? Oh, dude. What is some kind of dang? Homeowner?

Homeowner? Yeah, bro. Pig in a blanket, bro. You guys know what that is this sounds a little bit homoerotic is it a biscuit it's like uh it's a it's a thick frank wrapped in like a croissant get me out of this topic man man. Also, get me out, man. Theo starts making up more guys he met. Be franks, bro. Time to pay the bills. Oh, look, man.

Oh, man. There's a reason why I'm thick, boy. I stay thick. I got a personal assistant. He'll bring anything 365 days a year, 24-7, to keep this thickness up, dude. Dang, dude. He'll drop off gravy in the middle of the night. Will he?

Yeah. Cornbread in the morning. Oh, wow.'ll drop off gravy in the middle of the night. Will they? Yeah, cornbread in the morning. Oh, wow. A whole cheese pizza during the middle of the day. Oh, yeah, dude. They're enablers. Oh, definitely. I noticed you got those

double chocolate suppositories in your bag. Yeah, what's up, Doug? Dutch chocolate. This guy will do anything, bro. That's way Dutch, dude, if you're taking it in through the buttocks.

Let's get a little flama on, boys. Poirier's gonna beat your fucking McGregor's ass, dude. I know're taking it in through the buttocks. Let's get a little flaw in my aunt, boys. Poirier's gonna beat your fucking McGregor's ass, dude. I know that. Are they fighting yet? I don't think so, man. I hope they do. I hope it happens for your boy so he gets paid. Ooh, speaking of

B. Franks, what's up, girl? Aunt Kira. This is Aunt Kira, boys. Oh. Wait, she's seen him before. No, she hasn't. I know who you're thinking of she different girl different yeah she looks those legs real i know huh real thick bro yeah dude yeah they did dang i don't know that's crazy doing them deadlifts i do that you do not like this no yeah i believe she runs a fourth day over you. Oh, okay. She's thick, bro.

All right. They look like two separate girls, though, don't they? The one on the right's a little tan, the one on the left's white as fuck. Well, it could be the lighting, Brendan. It could be all sorts of different things. Maybe she went to Hawaii like you did. On the right, on the left, true blood. But also, yeah, I agree.

They do look like they could be two different people. And also, she has some type of compression things on her legs. You see that? Oh, yeah, like's uh playing goalie or some that's for like your shins or something huh oh maybe she's doing a heavy deadlift and you don't want to scrape your shins really cat your thighs aren't small no no they're not i can't i'd like to see you and her hawaiian islands over there tell us what's going on, Kat. Can you give us a lowdown on these thighs over here?

Oh, that girl is... That looks like the legs of a powerlifter. And she looks like she can squish a watermelon between those. Without fail. Do you guys find that attractive at all? What, that? Give me all of that.

Oh, you like the thick, strong girl? Even though you don't go to the gym, D. Is that not intimidating? I like to go to the gym. Oh, shit. Why we, why we, why we? I go to the gym, bro. Hold up.

Don't make up my life. Is that fucked up? I think most of the stuff you say is fucked up. Yeah. Oh, wow. You're mean. How's that mean? He would never say that.

Yeah. He would go, Derek, do you go to the gym? And I would go, yeah, at the L.A. we talk about it. And I went, oh, wow, you go to the gym? Because I'm with you all the time. I've never heard you talk about working out ever. He's a silent killer, man. You don't need to talk about it.

He's like emphysema, dude. He's like emphysema, man. He's a silent killer. Also, if I bragged about it, wouldn't you be like, hey, bro, shut the fuck up. But clearly, what are you doing in there? No. I'd be pretty cool about it. He't you be like, hey bro, shut the fuck up. Clearly, what are you doing in there? No. I'd be pretty cool about it. Liar.

This girl looks like she can be in the CrossFit Games. You look like shit, dude. I look like shit? Look at you right now. You look like an assistant manager at an ant farm, dude. You look like Meg Ryan in the mornings. What the fuck are you wearing?

Look how long your hair is in the back. He gave you assistant manager. Hey, guys, over here. Over here. Jesus Christ. Where's the crumbs? I love ant farms. You should get one in here.

No, dude. We almost have one, dude. Look how many people are in here. There's a lot of crumbs. I love ant farms. You should get one in here. We almost have one, dude. Look how many people are in here. There's a lot of people. What is this girl's problem again? She has blood transfusions? Oh, she does. They're flaunting her aunt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's Canadian from Edmonton.

Yeah, you can tell she's Canadian. Canadians, good people, man. Good women up there. Hard workers. This girl will lift you right off the damn planet, dude. This girl could probably steal a damn car and take it home. You know, she'll steal a car of the old-fashioned way on her back, brother. She'll suck that freaking true maple syrup right out the tree, it looks like. You feel me?

Suck it right out. Yo, real talk, why are her thighs like that? What do you mean? She just got them, bro. She works hard. Why don't mine look like that though well well yes you're a man my man and you're a man her thighs have ovaries at the top of them so that could be part of it i bet she has a donker in the back she's got them thiceps boy i like them thiceps

she's got them wing grats yeah there's her butt right there you don't even look at the other picture now you can't really see it though there that ain't that does nothing for me being very modest let Let her be modest. Yeah, but on the right, she's not modest. Got her goddamn... Get your fucking thighs out of my face, girl. You can't hide your thighs. What is she supposed to do, dude?

Yeah. You take it to the side like that, you know what I'm saying? Fucking FDR herself or something, or put herself in a damn... Put a blanket over her legs and wheel around. Yeah, right? She's good. She's out of your mind, man. She could.

You have worst ideas man what else we got beautiful lady what's her name hell yeah she's a baddie hero maple hitter there yeah up next we got aunt mary boyle it's aunt mary boyle oh wow it's tuesday It's Tuesday. Dude, if that's Tuesday. You guys are saying I'm being mean. I'm trying to be cool here, man. I'm trying to be cool. It's Tuesday, it says on the top.

It's fucking Tuesday, bro. What up, Aunt Mary? Oh, Aunt Mary's in the program. I know that for sure, boy. Brendan, let it out. Nope, I'm trying to be cool, man. Let it out. She's Aunt Mary Boyle.

She's the oldest of 11 kids, and she's from northeast Philly. Wow. I love that. Philly boy, them Philly ladies, huh? Oh, yeah, boy. And what I like about Aunt Mary Boyle is that she's probably got a good sense of humor. She's got that cigarette in her hand. She's got some tats.

Now, is this Vince Papali from Invincible? What's going on here? Who's that? I haven't seen Invincible. You haven't seen that? True story about the eagle walk-on? No, no, no. Hey, Aunt Mary don't take no shit.

I'll tell you that one. Uh-uh. No, Aunt Mary, you better come correct. You better have her fucking Philly cheesesteak at Gino's ready to go when she walks in that goddamn building. Oh, bro. She'll melt your face. She'll put a fucking rear naked chokehold on a fucking Newport, dude.

Dude, she looks like Toe Jam and Earl just fucking melted into one. Look, I think she seems like an outgoing lady. Could also be Abe from Oddworld Bring that up It's spot on, bro You said Abe? Abe from Oddworld I think she looks nice, she's outdoors

I didn't say she didn't look nice I said she looks like Abe from Oddworld What do you think? Oh wow She looks like a very nice lady yep that's what i thought it looks like a kind of lady that'll let you trick or treat but if you come back to the house a second time she's gonna beat that ass and i respect that about it i respect that too she also looks like she's gonna give out change to the kids as well there's always that one house yeah like

obama dude in his hand, that fucking change doll. She looks like she got a good memory, bro. She don't forget shit. No, it's everybody's name in the neighborhood. She doesn't forget shit, dude.

You come back 30 years later and she's like, you shit in the yard, bro. She's like that kind of... She looks like she'll yell at you to get off her lawn. Scroll out for me, D? Got it.

Oh, yeah. She works out. Her and Derek do the same workout yeah she looks like she don't take no shit that philly hit her i like her man what else we got mary carl mary boyle i had mary boy right there how did aunt boyle all right boys a little chide my ride up next we haven't done this in a while. Dude, I swear to God, we get another van with a door on it. I'm going to freak the fuck out. Is there more vans with doors on it?

Dude, you wouldn't believe how many submissions we have with vans with fucking doors. It's a thing? It's a thing. Bro, they're a beautiful unit. People want to get inside their car faster. I didn't even think of that. I didn't even think of that I didn't even think of that Tyler Doyle

TD boy touchdown that's for six points right there boy oh wow this seems like a health hazard dude that's that Colorado truck too ooh with the deer program on the back obviously didn't stick to the rules laughter laughter

laughter this looks like one of those rescue animals where they have to put the special Obviously, he didn't stick to the rules. This looks like one of those rescue animals where they have to put the special wheels on its back legs, you know? Oh, because he broke his back. He's farting across. They call him Scooter all the time. Yeah. Oh, you know what it reminds me of? The Beverly Hillbillies.

Mm-hmm. A little bit. Yeah. This reminds me of America. All it's missing is a Confederate flag. Let's be real here. What is an American flag? Well, it has an American one. It's a Muslim Confederate flag. Let's be real here. What is an American flag? Well, it has an American one. It's a Muslim Confederate

flag. God, the gas tank out the back? Sexy. Dangerous. Sexy, too. Yeah, it is sexy. There's something sexy about this guy. Put a cigarette right into that bitch and burn your whole world up. I'll jump in that bitch. Throw that right now. He's a risk taker. Well, also

what he is, though, he he's a it looks like you have a chair or a lawn mower back there as well and that picture on the left you can see that unit looks like he voted for Trump no oh you kidding me

no this dude screams America this dude's fucking no way dude that's Bernie Sanders this guy likes billionaires that's Bernie bro no dude

this has Trump written all over it you think so he's from your hometown yeah yeah he's from my hometown i know when i see one get the deer uh fucking bumper sticker my dad had several of them i was in it and then what's the other bumper sticker say i was in it seven years gun stop crime so i think we know what side he's on all right you're right you still think he's bernie i wouldn't shut the bro bernie has one gun you know he does at home. You know he got a gun.

Bernie? No. Bernie gots a gun, a soft little gun. I don't think so. Bernie is from Brooklyn. People get it twisted. You're talking old Brooklyn. Yeah, he's old school. Gangs of New York, Bernie.

You feel me? Bernie from the Bronx. He ain't gonna die any day now. What else we got? That gun. This is Ricardo M. Gonzalez. This is Ricardo. Oh, hell yeah.

Fuck. Yeah, this is as Mexican as it gets, bro. Mexican, you think? Dude, this is so easy. Yeah, that's Mexican, bro. Oh, it says the gas station's even Mexican, too. Valera. The whole thing. And what was the guy's name? Ricardo Gonzalez. Yeah, that's Mexican. Oh, it says the gas station is even Mexican, too. Valera.

And what was the guy's name? Ricardo Gonzalez. From Arizona. From Arizona? Hey, that's how we roll out there, baby. Could be a black guy, dude. No, no, no. Actually, no.

They ain't doing that to the trucks. It's a rarity out there. They ain't doing that to the trucks. Black people are a rarity out there. That's true. No, if the rims were spinning, they'd be black. But that's, you know, that's not it. Yeah, it's as Mexican as, if the rims were spinning, they'd be black, but that's not it. Yeah, it's as Mexican as it gets, bro. You think, bro? It's a big...

Yeah, it's 100%. Yeah, because he went, hey, Holmes, I want a truck. I want a lowrider. Lowrider in the front, truck in the back. Shit's dope. That thing really, yeah, I think it's scoliosis, it looks like. That was a unique looking truck, but I like it, man. It looks like you can smell.

It looks like the front, you can almost smell the ground in that thing. Yeah, a little hound dog vibe, don't it? Yeah, it has that hound dog with that. Blood hound. Yeah, with maybe dysplasia in the back. Yeah, this is Mexican all the way. Got them Flamin' Hot Cheetos in the passenger seat. Bienvenidos, huh?

Bunch of limes in the back. What else we got? Bienvenidos, señor. ¿Dónde es tu papeles? Hey, cabrón. What else do you got? That was horrible. Well, mine was, where's your papers?

So mine was fair. This was fair? Yours was just racist, bro. No, that's how they talk. Cabron. What'd you say? Cabron. Hey, Cabron.

It's not Cabron. Cabron. What does it mean? What's it mean? Cabron. It can't mean like. You're saying Cabron. Cabron.

It could mean bastard. Cabron. Hey, dude or hey, bastard. Hey, bastard. Depends how you say it. Just because you tossed that vato. Hey, bastard. That's how you say it. Just because you tossed that vato. Hey, bastard. That's not Spanish, bro.

But at least I said the Spanish word. Hey, cabron. Oh, yeah. You just go, hey, guy. You're speaking Spanish, bro. I don't even know the guy we're talking about. Me neither. What else you got?

Let's wrap it up a little king of this thing boys uh up first this is kyle dingus oh dingus yo what's going on mr finney has a problem with you new york gang gang buzz buzz gang bro i got a king of this thing for you guys bmx riding that handlebar hitter uh you know i used to bmx when i was younger made all my buddies but ate shit too many times and i didn't want to end up like brendan that cte so i feel you i got a little video of my younger brother from back in the day i just dug it up uh so excuse the poor quality but I'll show you guys here it's just in a field bro let's just go I'm gonna jump that hole

You want to do it again? He seems all right, though. When he falls, I think he sounds like a Halo 2 character dying. But let me know what you guys think. Gang gang buzz buzz. Old school video, man. BMX riding. Could there be a whiter thing in the world?

In BMX riding? Maybe skateboarding. Hey. Yep. You're Black Ch riding? Maybe skateboarding. Hey. Yep. You're black, Chappelle. Yeah, and I skate. Yeah. There you go, Brendan.

You still do? Yeah, I can still get down. Yeah, Lil Wayne. When's the last time you skated, bro? Bro, last week. Lil Wayne, bro. How you know I'm full of shit? I know you're full of shit. Dude, how do you know me, bro?

I don't like that you know me too well. I don't like that he knows me too well. Dude, DMX? You should kill him. You could kill him easily, probably, at night. You could easily do it, actually. Yeah, dude. You know where I'm going to be, bro.

Yeah, dude. Just poison a fucking Cinnabon. You do that. You'll get him. He bleeds Cinnabon. You'll get him, dude. No, I'm not shooting you, Brendan. We care about you too much to do that. him he bleeds in a bunch but just shoot me bro no not shooting you brendan we care about you too much to do that poison his ass what is this guy's problem again he fell into a hole

his brother fell in a hole what is this about baby jessica or not bmx riding oh bmx riding definitely bro it's a huge sport out there it It's fun. People are flying off everything. Can you name a bike? Remember Huffy? Yeah. Huffy was a big one. Diamondback. Schwinn.

A little bit. Those are more of the older 16s. Schwinn was for older crowd. I had older friends that hung out with a lot of older ones. Yeah, but that's not BMX biking. That's just biking. Well, BMX biking is BMX. But they had a certain kind of bike. Yeah, BMX bike.

Yeah, Schwinn really didn't fuck with that, though, did they? Schwinn was more like, oh, I got to get this kid to school where I'm a parent. Yeah, my guy killed him. There was Trek. Remember Trek? Yeah. Cannondale. Oh, I know which one there was.

Red. Mongoose. Mongoose was the big one. Mongoose. Mongoose was the big one. Mongoose. Mongoose was the big one. And remember, you could have, what did they put on

so you could hang on the back? Pegs. Pegs, bro. Pegs, people lost their toes all the time. Dude, pegs were dangerous. You'd hit your shit on them and shit. Because you'd get back there

with no shoes on sometimes and get your toe in there and it was a wrap. That was a wrap, man. Did you BMX, or were you a rollerblader? I was never a rollerblader, dude. No? I would never.

I would rather somebody attack me with a kitchen knife than rollerblade. I was a, we would jump off of ramps until, just like this guy, until somebody got hurt really badly. And then we would keep going, though. Yeah, we didn't do it anymore. That guy's brother almost died. They dug a grave for him,

and he fucking almost landed. His grave was right there. But there was always, I feel like everything was like that. Like in Neighborhood, you did it until somebody got hurt so bad that it was like, oh. Too much now.

We can't do it anymore. Better him than me. Stop doing this. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's how it always ended. Can you name the'm trying to think of a famous bmx or dave probably the best right david and he passed away yeah he passed away oh did he really yeah i think he took his own life ct uh i don't know can they get up do they oh yeah dude that's a good question once they start doing the x game start jumping off buildings and shit on these huffy. Yeah, what you got their heads

TJ Lavin too. He had like a really bad for that bad fall. I think he's dirt bike Oh, that's right, but don't they kind of all do everything? No like TJ. They all drink Red Bull. I think They all drink Red Bull and Monster Yeah, they switched a Monster about six years ago. They put Monster in their IVs. Sponsors those events. That's crazy, man. X Games is nuts.

That's crazy. To do all of that and fly around like a wild person. I know the young one on the skateboard, Nyjah Houston. Nyjah, he's dope. He's like the Michael Jordan of them. The Justin Bieber. He's just like, I guess, I don't know.

He's young. This generation is like Tony Hawk, if you will yeah but he's street and not vert he's a cool dude yeah uh yeah i used to do a couple a lot of different stunts and stuff probably tricks yeah i was never that good at it you really gotta you weren't no you really gotta go all out and get injured to get good you know we always had didn't have the correct safety equipment either. I didn't wear the elbow pads or the helmet. Did you? No, I saw somebody wearing a helmet the other day at a spin class out here.

Oh, my God. And I literally almost fucking drove my car in there and fucking hit him. You should have. You should have. No, we always had this one kid named larry bro who fucking would do everything and do it bad and he always got hurt and he drew he was biked off the roof remember that guy like oh this is gonna work you know and it just was did he switch his name to steve-o that first tire and it was always just that first tire he saw it going you're like oh man

larry's gonna die you. It was some dangerous shit. There's always that one kid who got no fucks given. Didn't care if he got injured. He'd be the first one to do it. The ramp, it was this shady, seedy ramp we'd build or some shit like that. Yeah, the worst ramp. And the ramp always, like, the thing went down immediately.

Yeah. It was never good. Piece of shit. Fuck BMX biking. When you're a kid, it's dope, though. Yeah. As a grown man. Yeah. But if you started as a kid and you're a kid it's dope though yeah as a grown man yeah yeah if you started as a kid and you're a grown man you can still do it if you're making money don't if you're

making money now if you if you're that guy on the 16 speed in the goddamn giant head to toe outfit with you and your boys dude unless they're paying you quit quit wearing that shit. Get out the fucking road. It drives me nuts. Trying to get a contract. God. Trying to get a contract. It's like, you work at Chase Bank. You have three kids, man. The contract is over.

Quit wearing that shit, bro. Yeah. What else we got? Up next, we got Rachel and Ranger from Beaufort, South Carolina. Ooh, Ranger, huh? Hot name for a chick, huh?

Oh, it's a... Her name's Ranger or the kid's is? I'm pretty sure the kid. My son has a friend named Ranger. What's up, Brandon? What's up, The Oven? It's Rachel and Ranger from Beaufort, South Carolina. Super cute.

Yeah. Uh-oh. I hear a bird in the back, too. We've got a King and a Stinget for you. I've done this in the B.C. Times before child, and I just watched Theo do the back, too. We've got a King and a Stinger for you. I've done this in the BC times before child, and I just watched Theo do it on the gram. Picking up hitchhikers. What do you think?

Praise God. Gang, gang. Buzz buzz. Aw, so cute, man. Aw, that kiddo wants that titty, huh? I want that bottle. Yeah, could we give him the fig? Let him have the real thing.

You know what I'm saying? Not talking about that Coca-Cola, either. Get that titty out, girl. Put that the real thing? You know what I'm saying? Not talking about that Coca-Cola either. Get that tit out, girl. Put that soft white meat in his mouth, you feel me? That breast milk, baby. Give him that breast milk, dude. My mom used to let our neighbors breastfeed us, dude. That makes sense.

You know, but you got that fucking hit. You got that nature's reserve off that lady. You got that backup. Yeah. Why not? Oh, you could drink all day dude milk all whenever you want out just milking it milk everywhere milk here milk here a tit there a tit everybody's oh bro good for you donald bro uh she wants to know with uh hitchhikers i like i like my life man i don't want to die it's 2019 yeah also there's uber these days so think i mean dude at hawaii i get a little different little different vibe but here in la picking up hitchhiker charles manson was a hitchhiker

hard pass yeah he was hard pass dude the manson family that's how they got around bro that's true hitchhiking what yeah a lot Hitchhiking. What? Yeah. A lot of hitchhiking. I've picked up a lot of different hitchhikers over the years. All types, too. Dude, one time this guy pulled a cold beer out of his fucking coat. Ice cold.

Was it nice? Yeah. It was pretty good. It was Michelob. But I respected how cold it was. I mean, it was a hot day, day and this man was out there and he pulled that ice cold might have been Jesus bro it was cold as heck and also this other hitchhiker

told me one time he said that one time a guy picked him up who was in a high speed chase from the police gangster yup

just trying to help the world and the guy's like dude what the fuck did you pick me up for you know like I want to ride but I'm not like trying to like

and the guy said cause I don't want to die alone dude and they ran from the police for like the next two hours and they ended up on the cornfield lodged the car on the cornfield are they best friends to this day i didn't get any more information on them out of that i picked up a family one time took them to get gas brought them back to the car they didn't even say thank you one time grateful shit hurt my feelings bro hell yeah i would have said something just still hurt my feelings a bro. Hell yeah, I would've said something. That shit still hurt my feelings a little bit, bro. Dude, you remember,

when I was a kid, I used to be scared of hitchhikers because if you remember Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure, he picked up Large Marge. Large Marge picked him up. Large Marge picked him up in the semi truck.

That's right. She's like, you're all gonna die. Tell him Large Marge. Tell him Large Marge. Did you shut the door? Mm-hmm. And did Large Marge send him or not? Large Marge was a demonic, Large Marge. Did you shut the door? And did Large Marge send him or not?

Large Marge was a demonic driver. Was she a big lady or not? Not that large. She was a little short, but thick. She was scary, though. And then she ended up being dead for 30 years. Yeah, she was a ghost. So I was always scared of Hitchhikers because of that. This is a movie?

I remember that scene. It was a great movie. Yeah, Chappelle didn't even have no scene. It was a great movie. Yeah. Yeah, Chappelle didn't even have no candy. It was a tough go for him. No candy. He just had his thoughts and fucking backflips. That's why I journal so much.

All I got is my thoughts. Damn, man. You're wild, dog. You crazy, man. He knows his music too, man. Does he? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what do you want to know, too, man. Does he? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, what do you want to know, huh? Little Beethoven, huh? No. If you hit him in the liver, he starts singing fucking Blink-182. Oh, gosh. I've never been a Blink-182 fan. Right. You kick him in the leg, he starts singing Green Day.

Do you have that time? You hit him in the throat, it's Sum 41. Do you have the time? You hit him in the throat at some 41. You name all these bands that I don't even listen to. Yeah, dude. That's some respect. You slap his wrist, he starts singing Train.

That's a good one. That's a good one. Train is pretty good, man. They fell off, but they had. What was their main song? Drops of Jupiter, man. Meet Virginia. Hey. Meet Virginia. Hey.

Meet Virginia. I can't wait to. God, just go meet her, dude. Quit being a pussy. Well, it was his friend's daughter. That was the problem. Oh, that's right. He had a crush on his friend's daughter.

What's your mean ass? Yeah. You're so mean, bro. Learn the backstory of the damn song. Yeah, you didn't even like my dog shirt, man. Not like your dog shirt. Now you like it. Ask if it's Gucci, bro.

Yeah, right. That shit's dope. What's that, Versace? Yeah, dude. You're one of those Doberman retreaters, bro. You're retreating from your fucking original stance. I said I liked it, bro. What else we got? We got, this is Carter from Pensacola, Florida. Oh, Carter, bro what else we got we got uh this is carter from pensacola florida

oh carter carter what up theo what up brendan uh this is carter coming at you from beautiful pensacola florida gang bro i got a king in a stinger for you guys so i'm 24 years old and i've been jacking it since i was like around 11 or 8 or whatever amen brother and so normal jacking it's not doing it for me anymore

so I've been dabbling in virtual reality porn okay and it's pretty good so I was just wondering what you guys think about seeing those

VR hitters up front so King or Stinger guys VR porn gang gang boy that's really jack that be a homie while he's watching fucking Jerry Springer

dude this shit's dope oh my gosh man this is very alarming I feel like or it's awesome and they know each other you think these men

they're roommates I think or brothers you gotta be pretty comfortable with another dude to be jacking and watching VR pretending he's not in the room well he's not in the room if it's VR

or maybe it's a gangbang I don't know about this look look this is dark arts pretend he's not in the room. Well, he's not in the room if it's VR. Or maybe it's a gangbang. I don't know about this. Look, this is dark arts, man. Let's go to the darkest part of the room. Let's go to the culture corner. What do you guys think? That's fair. Let's get some culture on this.

What do you guys think of virtual reality pornography? I don't like porn at all. You don't? Amen, brother. You don't like candy or porn? Praise Christ, bro. That dude's going to be a serial killer. Yeah. You're going to kill me. That's what this guy is. He's a serial killer, bro. You don't like candy or porn? Praise Christ, bro. That dude's going to be a serial killer. Yeah.

You're going to kill me. That's what this guy is, a serial killer, bro. Listen, I don't have the urge to hurt anybody. Yep. But you've never been into porn? You know, it's just. Did you not have access to it? Let him answer the first question.

Wait, did I not have access? What's up, man? As a young kid kid you had no candy no tv that was by choice dude are you like that was by choice are you elizabeth smart who are you taking hostage as a baby and just got out that's too cold that was a mean joke i was uh you're mean dude wait so what dude. What was your dumbass question? Did you not watch porn as a kid? No.

Porn is disgusting, Brendan. Like I said, all I had was my thoughts. So why would I pay attention to porn? Yeah, man. Interesting. Now, Theo can't watch it because of a lot of reasons. Most people in general. It's pretty fun. I don't watch it because i don't watch it anymore even though i watched yesterday and is that what you

mean today maybe i'm probably feeling ashamed of myself i need to quit watching it you check in sometimes though yes okay but i had an app on my phone that prevents me from even looking at pornography. Oh, my God, bro. There's an app for that? Pussy. The app went away. Yeah. Pussy, man, and butthole. Okay?

And tits also, dude. And you're just not into it, huh? I'm into it. You're into it too much. Well, at a certain point, it's just a bad habit. I can't watch it anymore. So I don't want to talk about it anymore. I respect you, Theo.

Thanks, bro. You got the black vote. That's what I'm saying, boy. You got the black vote. You know what I'm saying, bro? Your vote don't count. That's what I'm saying, bro. Trust me.

Your vote don't count. Let's check in with Derek over here. Let's check in with Derek over here. Oh, damn. Let's check in. Yeah, let's move up the... Let's move up the... The Roy G. Boone scale here.

Let's ditch the Sum 41 opinion and jump out over the juvenile Memphis over here. Let's get little Bobby Schmert over here. Let's get that Kikaki 6ix9ine, bro. What's up? Definitely, bro, if regular porn isn't enough and you need the fucking Transformers movie in front of you to jerk off, then something's wrong, though. Have you ever tried VR? No. You need the fucking Transformers movie in front of you to jerk off. Then something's wrong, though. Something's wrong. Have you ever tried VR? No.

I tried that boxing game one time, and it was some bullshit. So I got to imagine the girls are shitty. But eventually it's going to catch up. But this guy's going half around with his dick, bro. You feel me? You know what I'm saying? This dude ain't trying to beat Buster Douglas. This is thruster.

This is thruster Douglas over here. Thruster Douglas. Also, why not just go meet a girl? Yeah. He said Florida? Pensacola. Do you know how many gator lizards are rolling around there looking for a man?

Yeah. He's a good-looking dude, too. Ditch the screen, bro, and start busting real nuts. That's the problem with porn I don't like is you're wasting real nuts in artificial time. Yeah. Oh, not me. Dude, I respect. Ah, Theo.

Yeah, man. Hell yeah. You shut up. Theo all the way. I feel you, brother. No, Derek, feel me out here, dude. It's like a Royal Rumble. Me and Derek are just you two white guys.

Damn. You sure my vote don't count? Someone play some Nirvana for me. Before he freaks out. Get my journal. Where my journal at? Journal this shit, Chappelle. Where the fuck's my journal? Here's the thing. Jacking off is like training camp.

You got to build up. I've built up, dude. i know it all right i know all that it's like running sprints before you get in the game chapelle i didn't run sprints since year bro come on what the hell man dude i didn't get in the game yeah damn bro never in the game we got some fucking cultural violence let's take it to cat huh let's get uh let's get the most attractive culture person keep those two giant black mites from face, huh? That's a little weird This doesn't end well for us. You know this the whole You wanted it bro, I did I

What do you think cat I mean if you've gone to the point where you need you need VR to get off You have a problem and you should probably just go get laid. Because you're not just jacking off anymore. You're thrusting. You're doing the whole thing. Also, how much is VR though? That can't be cheap. Go get a pro, dude. Go get a streetwalker. But you only have to buy

the VR once and then you have it. But yeah, I guess you have to actually interact, physically interact a little bit more with the virtual reality. Yeah, I think you're doing a little more than just jacking off with virtual reality. Really? Yeah, you have to stand up, you have to look around or something. Well, you ever seen that movie Her? Getting in a relationship with a digital chick.

It's sad. Oh, yeah. That's a film. Dude, go to a freaking Thai massage parlor in Florida, dude. Yeah. Or how about this, dude? Put a mask on. Be like Robert Kraft.

Jerk yourself off. Put a mask on. Jerk yourself off. dude? Put a mask on. Be like Robert Kraft. Jerk yourself off. Put a mask on, jerk yourself off. Dude, put a mask on, jerk off in the mirror so it looks like someone else is jerking you off. Whatever you want. Y'all giving them options. That's all we do. We help around. Yeah, you do. Y'all give a lot. We help so many people. Good luck, dude.

Take that or leave it. But maybe this is the next edge of the coin that we don't even know about. It's like that's the next thing is virtual reality porn. Well, have you seen those sex dolls? No. Yes, I have seen them. I don't want that.

They're pretty good. Why would you know that? Well, they look pretty good. Oh, look pretty good. Yeah, I've never... Anyway. I'm not fucking something that can't look disappointed after. That's for sure, bro.

There you go. That's the only reason I'm fucking in the first place, dude, is to cause some lady a little bit of disappointment. Oh, dang, that wasn't any good. Oh, well. Guess I't any good. Oh, well. Guess I'll go get some lunch. Oh, man. Is that it, Doug?

That's it, boys. That's it for 40. Episode 40. Well, that's episode. We've done 40? This was 4-0, boys. Jesus, man. Oh, thanks for having me

a part of this shit. Thanks for coming, Chappelle. Oh, that was aggressive. Yeah, thank you, though. It was aggressive. Thank you. You need to check in with your therapist, man. Oh, thanks for having me a part of this shit. Thanks for coming, Chappelle. Oh, that was aggressive. Yeah, thank you, though. It was aggressive. Thank you. You need to check in with your therapist, bro. It's so aggressive.

Y'all all part of this. Damn, thanks for making part of this, dog. You motherfuckers. Same time next week, motherfuckers. I don't know, dude. I feel like you need to go work on yourself, you know? You know what I mean. I'm happy, you know?

I made luck. I'm happy. You sound thrilled. Where you going to be, dog? Where am I going to be, man? I'm coming up. I'll be in Cleveland and Indianapolis. Oh, I already was there this week.

So I'm going to be in Milwaukee and Madison, Wisconsin this weekend. Come out and see me. And I'm in Philly, Dallas, and Salt Lake City, Utah. Get your tickets. It's also Wilbur, Boston. Show has 10 tickets left. We're trying to add a late show. Get your tickets, Boston, January 11th.

Oh, I love that. And also, December 10th, I'm going to be at the Wiltern down here in Los Angeles. So come and check that out. All right. Fun show, brother. Hopefully it sells out. Hopefully we still have a career after the show airs. Love you guys.

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