The Golden Hour - Episode 46: Tits Don't Lie

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

The guys do an all new segment called "Who's More Likely?" and talk Muzzle Loading Season, Thot Hunting, Asian Hunters, Insect Eating, Penis Bugs, Acoustic Guitar Life, Butt Play Relationship Advice, Hippo's vs Elephants, Ubering With Your Heart and much more!1. Hims - https://forhims.com/kats2. MVMT - https://mvmt.com/kats3. Manscaped - https://manscaped.com/ code: KATS4. Audible - https://audible.com/kats or text KATS to 500-500See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wow. Wow. NFL said, hey, here's a workout. All 30 teams went, we're doing it on my field. It's my decision. All right, bitch, don't play. It's my decision. All right, bitch, don't play.

I think he thought that the people, he thought that they weren't going to show him in a correct light, so I guess they wanted to have. Well, if you want a job or not. His thing was more freedom of the press kind of thing. Cool. Cool, don't play football. Yeah.

Don't play. Play in the XFL. Now, what about this? If you want to play football't play. Play in the XFL. Now, what about this? If you want to play football, then you could do the XFL. And it's starting back up, isn't it, Derek? I believe so. Play grab ass with Vince McMahon and be number fucking 974. Do they do that?

Yeah, they do. Some weird shit. Throw interceptions that no one's going to fucking care about. You know what I'm saying? Dude, you're talking about Pac-Man Jones was in there, dude. I know. He hate me was out of the freaking XFL. He Hate Me, bro. He Hate Me. Hell yeah.

Beautiful guy, huh? And he did a crime, I think, as well, didn't he, Derek? Yeah, he had some dark history. I don't want to call it a dark history, Brendan. It starts back up again in 2020. Rod Smart. Let's not get racial, bro. He just had a history of crime pat mcafee's gonna

be the announcer too is he yeah i want to do well because that's my boy but pat's gonna be the announcer yeah dude they're gonna get so many people to tune in just for that oh yeah he's a beast i'll listen to pad man oh yeah good to see you man too brother looking not about the hat dude thanks man there's a seasonal hat too, and this is hunting is going on while Derek's still looking up something from a couple minutes ago. What about the hunting? Isn't it hunting season? Are you going?

Isn't it always hunting season, depending on what you hunt? What? It's always hunt season, baby. Maybe if you're a school shooter. Hunting these thots, you know what I'm saying? What? Hunting them catfish, dog. saying hunting them catfish bro if you hunt them thoughts it's 24 7 there ain't no season bro it's fall thick boy fall hunting bro thick boy fall huh and you found me dog you found me. I'm right here, son. I wasn't looking. Yes, you were.

Put out some cheese. I really wasn't. I want those things like horses get, man. The blinders? Yeah. That's what you need, man. You got to keep those thoughts out of your peripherals, dude. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. I need those thought blockers, dude. Those sunglasses that keep thoughts out of your vision. Blue blockers, bro. Blue block that keep the odds out of your vision. Blue blockers, bro. Blue blockers. Remember them? Them things. Have you tried them on?

Don't knock it until you try it, bro. They're so good. Blue blockers? God, they're amazing. Can't believe they're out of business. Are they out of business? Blue blockers? Yeah.

No, you can still get a pair or something. Uncle Baby Billy has a pair, dude. Baby Billy? Yeah. That makes sense. Blue blockers. Oh, there they are, dude. Baby Billy? Yeah. That makes sense. Blue Blockers. Oh, they're there, dog. The originals.

Remember the rap they had? Remember the video? It had a rap in it. Do y'all remember? No, bring that shit up, D. Ooh, Blue Blockers commercial with a rap? Yeah. All right, now, I'm real fast.

Let me tell you what I'm thinking. This should come to pass. My name is Geek. I put them on as a shocker. Man, I love these Blue real fast. Let me tell you what I think, and this will come to pass. My name is Geek. I put them on as a shocker. Man, I love these blue blockers. Shit goes hard. And this is an urban gentleman in a sombrero. You don't see that.

Dude, this shit is slapped. This is a slapper, bro. I'm more than a hip hopper, and I'll be cheeked at my blue blockers. Yeah. Now, what I mean? Yeah. Nah, he's going too much, man. You got to chill about sunglasses. At this point, he just sounds homeless, dude. If you do three stances about sunglasses,

bro, you out. What's funny is they're at a flea market, apparently. And this dude just started freestyling and then Blue Blocker's like, that's a new commercial. Shoot it. Dude didn't get any funds. Blue Blockers were the best, man.

And they blocked out a lot of colors. The only color they gave you was yellow. So they really blocked out green. They let a little orange in. So they blocked out green. You can wear them at night, too. Brendan, I'm doing the colors. They blocked out green.

Purple. Orange. No, a little bit of orange. Red. Black. White. Brown. White. Gray.

White. Beige. That's not one of them. Pink. And a couple of other colors at the end. They blocked out everything except for orange and a little bit of yellow, dude. So the whole world was kind of gray. I think a lot of people got depressed wearing them.

You know what I'm saying? The world was just gray to everybody. Well, the world was just orange, dude. It looked like somebody spilled Gatorade all over your whole life. That beautiful orange flavor, man. You just get the sun in your eyes. You know what I'm saying? Dude, it was good, man.

What do you got that pink outfit, huh? Yeah, what's up, dog? Dude, that man what do you got that pink outfit huh yeah what's up dog dude that's cute i like the hat i like the whole wardrobe today bro what's hunting season derrick any day anytime you want to chime in about hunting like jack sparrow fucked elmer fudd really fuck you bro this isn't a pirate's outfit. Bro, you look like a damn sex toy, dude. That's what you look like. Dude, you look like you're going to suck the boys off in a country western right now. Hey, fellas.

See you at the trough, boys. See you at the trough, boys. P.S. I'll be the trough. We shouldn't do a country western, bro. This show is disgusting, man. This is the dude. I just said trough, and you took it another level, bro. With that hat, I expect that, bro. Bro, that color, that pink only comes in fucking butt plug color, dude.

That is solely a sex toy color, dude. How'd you even get that shirt, man? Dude, did you rob Tommy Lee's closet? What are you wearing? What is happening right now? Bro, there's no holes in the, there's no injectable airways. Johnny Depp's watching this right now going, that thing's sick, bro. That thing is sick.

It's for hunting, Derek. Is it hunting season? Jesus Christ, dude. Because me, I hunt 365 days a year yeah yeah bro keep my eye on the fucking what about hunting

do you know anything about hunting is it are you a hunter huh dude I'll fucking put a dude I'll put a a mallard in a leg lock

dog I don't give a fuck I'll hunt whatever dog don't put an arrow through your thick ass Flintstones head bro what are you talking about stuck

from fucking 100 yards away, son. Stupid's arrow. That's what they would call it. Bro, here's what I'm saying is this, dude. I'll put a hard scarf on a fucking antelope, dog. Somebody's going down, bro. A hard scarf, bro? I'll hunt with my arms and legs.

I don't hunt like some hoe with a fucking little whatever it's called. Yeah, fuck your bazooka, bro. Yeah, bazooka. Bazooka. You want to put a bomb on somebody? Go over there and set it on their back, dude, while they're resting. You don't shoot from 200, 800 yards away,

man. You sneak up on them and fucking put a dynamite right in them. Hell yeah. Derek, do you have any idea? Can you help us out, Derek? Bear season's September to October. Oh, so you're safe now. Ooh. Oh, look, twink season. It's safe now. Ooh. Oh, look. Twink season.

It's right now. You're up, bro. What's a muzzleloader season? I know, right? You're also up again, bro. Bro, I need a muzzle. Me too. I'm sick of talking. You need one on your butt. You need a mu'm sick of talking. You need one on your butt, though. I'm sick of talking, bro.

You need a muzzle on your butt, though. You need one on your mouth, bro. Muzzle loaders. Dude, it's muzzle loader season, bro. Yeah, it's muzzle loader season, man. I forgot, bro. These deer are looking thick. That's my impersonation of Brendan.

Jimmy Changa. Dude, you're killing it. Yeah. Be careful now. She was talking about giving you a special. Be careful now. Oh, man. Early bear season seems

more like something for homosexuals. That's that West Hollywood Early bear season seems more like something for homosexuals. West Hollywood, bro. That's that West Hollywood early bear season. What do you guys hunt, Kat? What do you guys flare up with this time of year? Do Asians really hunt, though? Yeah, bro.

Iwo Jima. Nagazawa? Huh? Nagazawa? No, Nagazaki. They hunt sushi. Oh, you hunt fish. Hunt fish.

Yeah, it's hunt tuna. It's water cattle, baby. It's water cattle, dog. Fish. Yeah, that's. They hunt sushi. Oh, you hunt fish. Hunt fish, yes. Yes, hunt tuna. That's water cattle, baby. That's water cattle, dog. Fish. Yeah, that's some whales, bro. Every now and then, if you're lucky, a water buffalo. Wow. Ooh.

Just depends. Those are dangerous. If you really suck at hunting, you'll take chopsticks and just kind of poke at insects on trees and then eat it with a bowl of rice. Really? Oh, fuck. Yeah. Is that an old school, like a traditional, old, really?

Yeah. Eat some right off the branch, huh? Yeah, you have like a bowl of rice, chopsticks, and then you go from tree to tree and just kind of find insects to eat. Wow. For reals, Kat? Yes. I was disturbed when I first saw this. I think it's because I'm American.

When I came, I was like, what the fuck is that? Sounds like Fern Gully, too. It was weird. Yeah. I mean, you got to do with what you got. Sometimes you got to do it. Do you guys eat like larvae and like caterpillars with rice I can't wait to make it through larvae. Thanks, bro. It was tight early

Arvind taking those first turns at 40 50 miles an hour around this state on track Gang gang Impediment bro speech Care for now so time you special speed. What's up, bro? Careful now, it's time to get a special. Careful now. Michael. That's real,

Kat. You guys really going trees with a bowl of rice? Some people do that. You've heard of this? Huh? I thought Kat was joking. I was like, where'd she go with this? No, absolutely not. It's real. It's a little too real. Dude, you find an anthill, that's a damn Thanksgiving over there, dude. You and a couple buddies happen upon an anthill. That could be lunch if you have that patience, man. We're just so spoiled here, I think, with everything

comes in a package, everything is clean, nothing has eyes on it. Speak for yourself, bro. When I was a kid, I used to eat red ants and black ants, and I'd lie to my friends and say the red ones taste like cinnamon, the black ones taste like chocolate. Really? I was that kid in the neighborhood. I'd also drink the water through the gutter. Through the gutter? Yeah, bro. How? I'd wait for it to rain and just.

The part I don't believe about that is the part where we have friends early on in the story. Yeah, that's fair. That's the part I don't believe. That's fair. Maybe it was just my brother and his friends watching me eat ants, you know? Maybe your brother just kept putting on different outfits and saying he was different friends. Holy shit. You're right, dude.

But that means he loves you and he cares. Yeah, there's a lot of effort. Something beautiful about that. He had some really cool accents, too, I think. Did he? Yeah. Dang, he had some nice tits, too, I bet. Jay's got tits in his arms.

Have you seen that guy's biceps? Bro, rest in peace freaking Beth Chapman in each freaking arm, huh? That dude's got those straight fucking stunt doubles. He has fucking Roseanne in each fucking arm, bro. And Tom Ronald at the back, bro, on his

job. Rest in peace. Yeah, a lot of... I was in Vietnam one time or Nam as I like to call it and we went to a market and we ordered

I ordered a dove it's so insulting and they have all kind of animals you can get anything you want it's all living right there so I'm thinking I'm going to get this dove I'm going to rescue it I'm going to let it loose fuck yeah it was a nice clean white dove so I'm thinking I'm going to get this dove I'm going to rescue it right I'm going to let it loose so yeah that's what I would have done right

fuck yeah it was a nice clean white dove oh this thing was beautiful bro that's heaven bro people have been smoking around it so it was a little bit yellow around the edge of the feathers

like around the tinge that makes sense but it was predominantly white man second hand smoke too and I don't know about that yeah but or maybe

I don't know their lungs are so small I can't imagine they're only going to live two years anyway. Who cares if they fucking smoke? But what I'm thinking about is that the, oh, so I get it. I free it. I run outside and free it.

The second it leaves my hands, literally six dudes jump on it. Oh, wow. Bro, they're hand hunters, bro. This dude's that fucking fetching stretch, bro, and it was over. Some dude caught it, fucking snapped its neck, threw it on his back.

A real little dude. And just kept going. And just walked off heading home, bro. Then jumped on a scooter. Whee! Whee! A lot of scooters out there?

A lot of scooters. Oh, yeah. That's how you got around, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Don't they have like deep fried, not deep fried, don't they have like

chocolate dipped cockroaches and shit, too? Chocolate dipped? I'm not sure. We're not big on chocolate. Yeah, that. Don't they have like chocolate-dipped cockroaches and shit, too? Chocolate-dipped? I'm not sure. We're not big on chocolate. Yeah, that's a Hogwarts. That's that store on the way to Hogwarts. Yeah, I think you'd think of Harry Potter.

You'd think of Harry Potter, man. This is Vietnam. I might have got him confused. I might have got him confused. I might have got him confused. You're also talking to a guy who has Gotham City on his globe over here. There could be a couple of issues. He thought Peter Parker was the mayor of Chicago.

We might have a couple of small issues today. Imagine that, though. People are so brave enough to walk around and just be like, all right, they crack open a big piece of bark and there's a beehive and they're saying, let's get in there. With rice? Yeah. With rice. Yeah.

Exactly. And they still do it to this day. To this day. Isn't there a forest in Japan where just people commit suicide like it's the spot to go to? Yeah. Just a bunch of trees. Why there? I don't know exactly why.

I think it's just an easy place to kind of walk and get lost. Have you seen that? Strength in numbers, man. I've seen it, dude. Look, man, it's no fun to die alone. You know, widespread panic. And I'll say this. I picked up a hitchhiker one time, and he told me a story.

He told me a story another time a guy had picked him up. And this guy had been hitchhiking probably for decades, I guess. And he probably wasn't really going anywhere, which is the shocking part about most of them. You're just going in circles. This guy just fucking bothering people. To Pena Canyon, to the world, just in circles. Yeah, dude.

And he told me, he goes, one time a guy picked me up, and he was in a high-speed chase from the police. Hell yeah. And I said, well, why'd you pick me up and the guy said because I don't want to die alone. That's what he said. Imagine you get picked up and the dude who's picking you up is in a

high speed chase. There's also a movie called The Chase. Was it really? Yeah. Remember when he picked up that hot chick in The Chase and then they fuck and there's cops behind him? Oh. It might have been a porn I saw. No there it is with homeboyboy uh the chase huh oh dude and she's a hot girl and she's like he kidnaps her because he doesn't want to be alone right

and she's all rich and her dad's like the governor or some shit and she's smoking hot then they fall in love with the cops behind him they're like about to run out of gas she fucks them that's beautiful it's one of my favorite movies. It's a great love story. Bro. Dude, 37% on Rotten Tomatoes? Suck my finger, dude. It's muzzle season, baby. That's what I'm saying. Load them up. I'll throw a fucking grenade

into a damn... Dude, we should redo the chase. Cabbage patch. Yeah, we should redo the chase, man. But nobody's fucking at the end. Nope. We just become best friends. Yeah, dude, we should redo the chase, man. But nobody's fucking at the end. No. We just become best friends. Yeah, dude. We become best friends that don't have to spend that much time together, though, because they also have to stay busy. Yeah, we're going to separate.

Once we get away from the cops, then we just separate. We've got our busy lives, you know? But we do hang out sometimes. We also get together sometimes. Yeah, every Tuesday to do a show. Yeah, and we chat about it, though, too. Yeah, we chat through text. How about these hats, dude?

Did you see the jersey you got? That's beautiful. The Lake Monsters. Vermont Lake Monsters. My boy, Jeff Kent. Gang, boy. What a great name for a team, the Lake Monsters. Names on the back.

Oh, yeah, huh? Dude, Monsters in the front, names on the back. What's up, bro? Back, yo. the front, names on the back. What's up, bro? Back, yo. That's cool. Thanks, Jeff. Thanks, Jeff Kent. Superman Jeff Kent, the baseball player?

Same guy. Wow. They're affiliated with the Oakland A's. Them lake monsters, huh? Hell yeah, dude. Also, back to Vietnam, there's a little animal over there that'll swim up your wiener and cause havoc for your whole life. Tell us, cat. And if you eat this thing, you are really a risky woman.

Now, are you talking about... That's the same thing in Mexico. I hate to keep going back to Mexico. It's all I know. Oh, no. Is it the same thing as a worm in the tequila? Huh? Because that thing can swim but your dick hole, too, now.

And it burns. Bro, first of all, don't drink tequila through your wiener. But second of all, can you look that up? The thing swims up man's wiener? Yeah, it's a parasite in the water. Now, if you're swimming in Vietnam, you're asking for trouble, bro. One thing you don't do in Vietnam, I learned this when I was a young kid, you don't swim in fresh water because those parasites swim up your dick hole,

and you don't hang out with ladyboys. Or you tie something off. A lot of times people will tie, like I put a little piece of gum in the end of their penis or do a I like to put a little tic-tac in my pee hole. I'm in Vietnam, bro. What?

And do what, dude? Feed the boys? That's crazy. Gives the girl fresh breath. It's muzzle season, he gives the girls fresh breath. Get out of there. It's muzzle season, dog. It's hunting season. It's muzzle. I got loaded up and gunned down and see that coming, man.

Lake monsters. Bazooka Joe. Thanks, Vermont, dude. I always wanted to go to Vermont. I heard it's beautiful. They got that nice maple syrup out there. You can just suck it out of the tree, baby. Fuck yeah. You know Vermont maple syrup? You can suck it out of the tree, baby. Fuck yeah.

You never heard of Vermont maple syrup? You can eat it out of the tree with chopsticks if you know a cat. Should get a bowl of rice. Bowl of rice. Sweeten the deal. Can you imagine that? Bring the fam around. Christmas time.

Imagine you find a tree that's full of bugs and you just put your lips right on that bitch and just suck as hard as you can. Ah, cuna matata, baby. That's what I'm saying, bro. Means no worries. When I was a young warthog. Wow. That sounded way too believable, didn't it?

I watch too much, dude. My son loves that shit. Sure he does, dude. When he was a young warthog. Bro, your son emailed me and said he's not allowed to watch the television because you've been hogging it. Yeah, you're right. I told him it's hunting season. What's up with you guys?

What's going on, Derek? Oh, man, you got me freaked out about this penis bug. It's called the candaroo. Keep your ass out of Vietnam, bro. Dude, that's a real thing. Yeah, or if you also, now you can't get this from making love to a Vietnamese woman, can you now?

No, no, no, you have to swim in the Amazon. I think it depends on the woman. Wow. It really depends. Vietnamese girls, is that your type? Huh? I think so. I don't know.

I have kind of a chart I made when I was a little younger, but I would have to. Me too. I'm open to it. I feel like Asian girls don't like me. I'm sure some do. I love Asian girls. You do? Yeah, middle school.

I said, what's your type? I just put hot. I still believe that after all these years. Really? Yeah, that's my type. Hot. You do? Yeah, middle school. I said, what's your type? I just put hot. I still believe that after all these years. Really? Yeah, that's my type. Hot. Hot chicks? Yeah.

Black, white, Asian. Hot? Just smoking. Damn. Like brisket, baby. I like that strong, you know, I like a strong woman, boy. Really? Yeah, like a woman who.

I like a woman who at least if the car breaks down, she's going to get out and look at me fix the tire. If that bitch stays in there, bitch, we never going out again. That's fair. There's two types of women. At least I want the woman that stands out there and looks worried.

Yeah, I feel that. Yeah, at least come out and let me know what's going on. You know what I'm saying? You don't want to just stay in the car while you do all the work. First of all, adding weight to the fucking car that I have to pump up out in the back. While she's on Instagram DMing dudes while you're fixing the tire. What? This sounds like a biography, Brendan.

What a tramp. Am I right? Yeah. Theo and the Tramp. Yeah. Another show we should do. Theo and the Tramp. Oh, dude. I'd meet you in the middleamp. Yeah. Another show we should do, Theo and the Tramp. Oh, dude.

I'd meet you in the middle of a spaghetti. Yeah, I'd meet you in spaghetti. If we're in prison, I would. 100%, dude. You and me together? Together, bro, but spending time occasionally, I would do that.

Nah, we'll be bunkmates. I'll be your red, dude. You know you're Andy Dufresne, right? Huh? And I'm red. You're Andy Dufresne, I'm red. Is that what take a man to turn his ears to get out of this here prison? I wish I could say Andy fought off the lady boys.

I wish I could say he won every fight, but he didn't. Remember that? I don't remember that, bro. I remember that tragic rape scene. Yeah, yeah, rape. Remember he was like, Anything you put in my mouth It's coming down Binding it off

Jesus Yeah the What they The ladies The lady boys Did he call them The lady boys No

That's what they were Called the lady boys Lady boys Yeah Boy he was relentless Wasn't he He was a mean lady boy Yeah but if this

Shawshank I'm red You're Andy Dufresne 100% I'm Brooks was here dude I'm gonna hang myself If I gotta fucking Listen anymore to this shit Bro I'm red, you're Andy Dufresne 100%. I'm Brooks was here, dude. I'm going to hang myself if I got to fucking listen anymore to this shit, bro. I'm getting a job at the supermarket for two days, and then I'm fucking axing myself.

Boing. I'm always like, sir, can I go to the bathroom? He's like, come here. You don't need to ask if you have to go to the bathroom every goddamn time. Just go. Yeah. And then he goes back, and he writes his name in the wall, and then he goes to Santa Juanita.

Okay, Kat, what have you been up to? You know, Stephen King wrote that, by the way. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Wrote the great book. He wrote Shawshank Redemption? Yep. Yeah, the book.

Wow, so much better than the shit he writes on Twitter, dude. You heard him on Twitter? Yeah. Why would I fall on Twitter? Hell no. Yeah, you're right. I don't know why I do. I got to get some sleep.

Is he crying on Twitter about politics or something? Yeah, he is. Get out of here. I don't need... Dude, relax. I come for the comedy. Yeah. I don't need your input on Trump and shit.

Every day? Every day. Every day? Stephen King, right at three, shut the fuck up. Yeah. That's what you're put on earth to do. Not cry about politics. Mutants, bro.

A couple mutants. Mutantes. Kat, what's up in your world, huh? What's up in your world? Nothing much I'm feeling really in touch with my culture today Oh wow thanks Why is that? Everybody's kind of talking about it Everyone's talking about Vietnam I feel really close to everyone right now

Kat has the bus lamp shirt on By the way Beautiful And do we have those available yet Kat or are we going to come out with those soon? Come out with those soon. Oh, really? Working on it. We're going to have a whole new merch store in the new year.

Dude, those bus lamp shirts are dope. They're great. Maybe we should just get one big bus lamp in the middle. Deposit on you in time. Well, we know who's going to fill it up, Probs. Posting. Look at him. The Postman.

What can I say? Jesus, man. That's a juice. We're in Salt Lake City this week. The Postman. Talk about the lake monster. For real. That monster will start a lake right there, dude.

And lake monsters and this. And the thing that crawls up your wiener. Everything. Just full circle. Again. That's the big man upstairs coming full circle now. That's the Lord, bro. That's the Lord's work. The lake monster's work. Dude, Jesus Christ is a gangster, man.

He's a blood in a crib. Dude, he bled and he fucking rolled out of the crib. Yeah. Think about that, bro. He threw up gang signs. Yeah, man. Dude, that's what I'm saying, bro. MS-70 dog, the big dog. You know what's weird to think about is how people think he was white. You think?

He wasn't white. Just look at the location. Geographically, no white man would have been in that area. It doesn't make sense. He was tan. He was tanner than me, bro. Bro. He was probably tan.

Good chance. And his hair, like wool. Lamb's wool, dog. You mean he was black? You mean he looked more like Derek than you? Skin of copper, baby. Copper also, he'd been in the sun for 200 years, 300 years. If you're a real white guy, you'd burn.

Yeah. Especially in that part of the land. You feel me? I think he got tanned up, dude. You think he's like me? I get super tanned. You do? Yeah.

I hate to relate to Jesus Christ. Do you get tan lines or not? Never, dude. You don't? I stay brown year round. Damn. That's a year round. Damn. That's a rap line. Well.

Well. Should we kick this thing off? You guys want to get it going? I forget what we're doing. Yeah, I don't even know what we're doing, dude. A little King of the Sting. Fuck yeah. All right.

Let's switch it up this week, boys. Start with King of the Sting this week. We'll start with it. Up first, Jackson Ross, this big jack. Theo Dirt, Brennan Swabs. Got a King It or Sting It here for you. That was in a nice place. Acoustic guitar.

Oof. Now, I would send you guys a video of me playing, but I figured I'd send that to Cat instead. You know, what can I say? Shoot or shoot. Anyway. Yeah, boy. Shoot or shoot. Smart as Cat in the pack.

Shout out Theo. Shout out Brennan. Love you guys. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. Freaking love Harvey Oswald firing Cat. Shoot or shoot. All right, John cat. Shooter, shoot. All right, John Stockton.

Shoot away, bro. Shoot, but shooter. That dude's firing, huh? Guess what? There's a little teriyaki on that arrow, cat. You feel me? What? That's a Chinese sauce, dude.

Vietnamese sauce. A little wasabi on that arrow. Okay. A little ginger. A little wasabi. A little shashquan. Acoustic guitar, bro. I'm a straight man, but nothing gets my dick moist like a nice sound of a classic guitar, bro.

Praise God, brother. I hear John Mayer start playing like, ooh, wait. My love is pure. You can get it, bro. My love is pure. Dude, I used to live with this man for a while, and at night I knew a couple of songs on the get. He'd have me come in here and play something for him, and this thick lady. He was rubbing down.

Yeah, I could play. Oh, really? You know what? I could play pretty decently in college. We'd have to go in there and play him a couple melodies at night while he fell asleep. Oh, that's cool. It was part of my rental detail, part of my detail over there. And I would sleep on the couch, and I'd have to listen to them do sex all the time, and it made me so nervous.

But your guitar would get them in the mood? No, it would put them to sleep. I play Eric Clapton. What song? He buzzed all you in heaven. I must be strong and carry on, because I know he don't belong. I don't know that song.

What else you got? Eat a nipple. What else, dude? Bet you play your body's a wonderland with your pants off. We got that. No, I would play a little widespread panic, sipping on a tall boy. That would wake him up. How's that go?

So I'd really just play the Eric Clapton one over and over again. Dude, I love acoustic guitars. We both lie silently stealing the dead of the night. God, I wish you'd bring the guitar in here, bro. Oh yeah, I would bring it here, man. That's fucking long-armed harmonica, bro. Shred City, bro. One of them might not

even have been a damn guitar. You got four guitars and two arms, dude? Who are you fooling, bro? Share your shit. Yeah, there's a lot going on there, man. Be a share bear. You want to get in a cat's heart, you got to share, bro. Get in there, bro.

You know what I'm saying? Here's the thing about guitar. She'll kill a pigeon right on your fucking doorstep for dinner. She'll snap that bitch right out there and bite its fucking beak off. You know what the thing about guitars is? The thing about guitars is you can be ugly as fuck. If you can play that thing, automatically six points. Like you're a hard three.

Guitar, nine instantly. Ed Sheeran, no talent, can't sing, two. That guitar skills, ten. Even with his crooked-ass cock eye, ten, bro. You got a bad eye? Bad eye? Bad eyes. I'm going to fucking see 360 like chameleon.

He's the ginger little John, bro. Here's what I'm saying is I think Ed Sheeran's a beautiful man, dude. He's got hair like a damn He's got hair. He's a real hair-a-keep, bro. Look at him. He looks like something that would swim right up your penis and fucking give you an infection.

But look, I'll tell you this, man. The guy's got beautiful music. I've danced with a man that hit one of his songs once. Was it the same guy you used to play music for? Nope. That man was in the bigger gals, dude. I had to go pick him up for him, too. I had to drive his truck.

He like him chunky? He got a DWI, yeah. What kind of chunky are we talking here? Like fat, like Lizzo? I'm talking about... We talking Lizzo or are we talking like Beyonce? You ever had too many McGriddles in a bag and the bag starts to rip at the top

while you're trying to hold it? What a great reference. Yeah, and it gets soggy. And you know that bat ain't going to hold. You got to hold the bat with your bottom? Yeah. With that bottom hand, yeah. That's a great reference, bro.

So just a kind of unique woman, or fully acclimated to her skin. That's how I feel. That skin's about to pop. But what do I know? What are you guys up to these days, Kat? Just in general. Do you like this man, this white man, this musician? He seems like a very nice man.

He does, doesn't he? He's handsome, right? Yeah, good looking. It seems like he has his shit together. Dude, you've been talking about serenading some dude for most of your life. I had to, bro. Did ya? Yeah.

Other ways, I think. When I was in college, I was sharing a apartment with a 50-year-old man, dude. And it was a one-bedroom. I had to sleep on the couch. Why would you bunk up with another college student, bro? They didn't have any money, you fuck. You think everybody has money, and they just get to live where they want?

So you had to play music all night? Uh-huh. So you had to play music to pay the bills? Not all night. Once a week, you'd have the lady come over, man. Maybe twice a week. Dude, I wish you would have brought the guitar. I wish this kid would have sung.

Did he slip in your DMs, Kat, and play some tunes? I don't know. Here's what we would love, then. I think he should have to serenade, huh? Or even do a King of the Things sexy song so he can play it, bro. Dude, here's what I say. He could use a new theme song. Yeah.

I say you serenade our little Siamese cat over here and send in a love ballad, and we'll play it on here. Hell yeah. And Kat can go it or veto it, whatever she wants to do. Yeah, you better be able to play with all them goddamn guitars, too. What's your Axl Rose? Why do you have so many fucking guitars? What if he works at the Music Hall of Fame and he's just walking by one of the rooms? That's a good point.

He might even play this. Or it's his dad. His dad's maybe Eric Clapton or some shit. Dude, his dad could have passed away, dude. It's a nice crib, too, though. He might be a successful musician. We just have no clue. Yeah, he could be successful. He could be in Fallout, boy. I have no idea. The place looks nice, too, though. He might be a successful musician. We just have no clue. Yeah, he could be successful.

He could be in Fallout, boy. I have no idea. The place looks nice. Hell, yeah. He looks like C.B. Dalloway. Old school reference. Well, if he wants to fall out into these Vietnamese vajines over here, what I'm saying is this dude needs to tighten up with a sweet serenade.

Yeah, if you want to fall out into Cat's titties, go ahead and hit that tune, son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those Cat-a-tat-tats. Sorry, son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those cat-a-tat-tats. Sorry, cat. Dude, she's going to play that in court one day. And when you do that at the end, it's going to really make sense. Judge is like, 10 to 15, get them out of here. Jesus Christ.

And you're going to do it one more time. As I'm walking out of the courtroom. And then as we walk out, the bailiff will reach over and go, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, really? Good luck in there. Keep touching me. But don't touch me. I'll get in trouble.

But don't touch me. I'll get in trouble. All right, what else do we got? Up next, we got Jordan Hamilton. This is Big Jordan. Jay Ham, bro. And this dude's been doing drugs. Let's see him.

Jay Ham, he's. Oh, shit. Are those rats on him Leo Coming at you again Got a king in her stinger Actual rats Theo

You say you're the rat king Let's see him Rat-a-tat-tat That guy looks like he's going through some shit He ain't talking about rat shit He was all Theo Rats That guy looks like he's going through some shit. He ain't talking about rat shit. What are you talking about? He was all, Theo, rats. Do you like them?

I do. Bro, he's getting that fucking the Lord's massage, having two rats running around on your shoulders. That'd be Satan's massage. The Lord massages two pigeons, motherfucker. Dude, rats are freaking bunnies in disguise, bro. That's what the old saying is. No, they're not. They're the fucking Satan mice of the underworld, dude. They can fuck standing up, bro.

And the strong ones can fuck on one leg. Some know martial arts. Shout out to Splinter. Here's the thing about rats, dude. They carry so many diseases. It's funny. You know there's more rats in the United States than there are people? But imagine this, though. and that's not true. That's true.

Nice try, though. No, watch the rats documentary. Huh? The rats documentary? You believe that stuff? It's propaganda. Yeah, you're kind of right on that. It is propaganda, huh?

Yeah. How many rats are there? You are unbelievable how you made it through school, Derek, honestly. I didn't, dog. Oh, yeah. I dropped out, bro. You're just assuming. I should have said that, man.

My bad, dude. Come on, bro. Yeah, my bad, bro. You know what I like? You didn't stereotype, though. You know what I'm saying? No, look. Right.

I assume Kat, yeah. Who knows if any of us made it through school. I think me and Kat are the only ones with degrees in here, but whatever, dude. I like to get stereotyped. You're running a fever? That's the only degrees you fucking got, boy. Me and Cat

are the only people with diplomas, bro. Okay? You're wearing deodorant? That's the only degree you got, dog. Keep touching me, dude. Derek, will you tell us

something? Fucking rats, dude. There's a billion. You're turning into the fucking cinnamon chin over here, dude. Derek, will you tell us something? There's a billion. You turn into the fucking cinnamon chin over here, bro. Chime in with a fact. There's a billion of them on the planet. China believed to have more than 2 billion rats. Well, that doesn't make sense.

Yes, it does. There's a billion. There's billions of them on the planet with China believed to have 2 billion. Also, there's more than humans. Can we look at the fact he Googled how many rats are there? Oh, wow. Wow. So, of course, you guys are fucking getting erroneous answers.

What's that? You're fucking throwing questions onto the middle of the freeway out here. Holy shit, man. I'm going to say this. How hard would it be to have so much disease in your body and still show up to work every day making it through the pipes, looking for the cheese, smiling

occasionally. There's some videos where they smile. Yeah, I've seen it. Can you imagine that you'd just be loaded down with Ebola, AIDS, bro, body AIDS, polio, black plague, polio, syphilis, herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, capital AIDS, chicken pox. Chicken pox. You're not even a fucking chicken and you wake up every day.

The flu. The flu. The bird flu. The bird. Mad cow disease. They don't have that. Yeah. Imagine having mad cow and not being a cow and just being mad.

Unbelievable. Yeah. Rats, dude. They're survivors. That's what I'm saying, bro. So when this guy has two of them around his neck. We're going to make it. Yeah.

They're the fucking Beyonce's, bro. These are the Jamie Knowles or whatever that lady's name is. Kelly Knowles. Oh, Kelly Knowles. What that lady's name is. Kelly Knowles. Oh, Kelly Knowles. What does she do these days? Beyonce was like, see you losers.

Kelly still sings. What was this guy's question? Am I doing, I'm doing okay, brother. And I respect them, man. They're look,

they do their best, dude. You know what? I like that you have clean rats. I'll give you that. Yeah. Not, not probably.

I probably put the rats down and go, go talk to some real humans though man just kind of feel your way out there maybe get a nice young lady help you wash some rats down the road because yeah there's cat ladies and that that doesn't end well for them they get very lonely then there's rat boys that also doesn't end well right you're 60 you just got rats in your apartment yeah junior rats you had no one to talk to watching reruns of animaniacs and shit get sad bro when you start having junior rats in your fucking apartment to talk to watching reruns of Animaniacs and shit get sad bro yeah when you start

having junior rats in your fucking apartment that's insane bro when you start having second generation rats yeah if you're dealing with the second third generations of rats

I think you gotta tighten up a little yeah tighten up you gotta get a Sega or you gotta get a you know you gotta go for a couple of walks or something

or find like a chilly place nearby or something yeah put the cheese puffs down and fucking quit watching Teen Mom and go meet some ladies. What? No. I bet this guy is a fine ass chick, dude.

Chicks love guys that have animals. Like interesting pets. Agreed for the most part. Rats, this one, listen, I'm going to put my detective hat on. It's probably, you know? You know. What? You know. What?

You know. There's no woman in that apartment. There easily could be a fucking beautiful hot chick behind one of those little rats. Behind one of those walls. Get the fuck out of here. God damn it. Get out. Shut up, Cleveland, huh?

Yeah. Kidnapnation, dude. I'll keep rats, though. They're survivors. I'm taking this lake myself only because I want to show off my shirt that I wore today. Yeah, I like it, dude. Thank you. It's a nice shirt.

It's a nice shirt. Someone got me this one time. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, boy. Lake Monster's dog. I'll see you in deep right field, dude. Hell, yeah.

Pass for the parents park. That's where they used to make me play. You know you're shitty at sports. They put you in fucking the outfield in Pop Warner. Oh, yeah. Pass for the parents park. That's where he used to make me play. Yeah. You know you're shitty at sports. They put you in fucking the outfield in Pop Warner. Oh, yeah. In Little League? They put me in way outfield. I worked concessions.

I remember one inning. No one can hit out there. Every now and then, one of the coaches would throw it out there to me so I could do something. Go, Brendan, come in. I had no idea the game was over, bro. All I was working for was the orange slices. I got a little rip in my drip. All right.

First, this is Lovin' Dan from Orange County. Big LD. Oh, wow. Can you zoom in a little? It's dark. Is that Hilfiger? That's what I was wondering. And what's he holding there?

Wine. He's got a bottle of rosé. He's got a cigarette, and he has a 12-gauge, it looks like. Yes. Those are the three things. He definitely listens to Uncle Cracker. Yeah. Come with me.

Everything is all right. I'll be the one. He's definitely had a contest with a buddy to see how many pieces of cinnamon gum they could take in their mouth at once. No doubt about that. He definitely drives a Thunderbird. For sure.

I bet he drives actual thunder. This dude's fucking out of his mind, bro. Dude, if I'm not I'm looking to school shootings with this dude fucking out of his mind, bro. Dude, if I'm not seeing this. I'm looking to school shootings with this dude. I'm going to be honest, man. This dude definitely fucking, I bet his arm kind of reaches, you know, just automatically lifts up towards his hip.

Yeah, when he passes an elementary school. This guy's got a bad tune in his bucket. This guy's a bad guy. Look at bucket. This guy's a bad guy. Look at him. This guy's a bad guy. And he's telling us it, Brendan. Look at him. Oh, dude, I was going to say it before you scrolled down, but I guarantee he's wearing sandals with jeans.

And for him, it's always hunting season. Just not during spring break. You know what I'm saying? School has to be in set. Oh, damn. Look at how dirty his feet are, bro. Yeah, did this come with a manifesto? What kind of picture is it?

I think it's because of Hobbit. Oh, my God. This guy in Fresno recently? R.I.P., dude. This guy might be a missing person. Dude, where's J.C. Lee Dugar, bro? That's what I want to know. Who's the girl that got kidnapped?

This guy looks like he's pissed Limp Bizkit is gone. Oh, this guy. Dude, I like Limp Bizkit for a second there. I still like him. Yeah. It's all about the noogie. The what? The noogie.

What? The noogie. Now I don't like him. Remember he used to wear just a red Yankees hat? Yeah. I wanted one. I had a hat one time that was nice. It was a Chicago Blackhawks hat. Man, I loved it, one time that was nice it was a Chicago

Blackhawks hat and man I loved it man what happened to it I know it was Florida Panthers I don't know what happened they're rivalries but whatever I don't know what happened to it

okay king this guy alright so this is Isabella from Dallas Texas okay she's a 23 yearyear-old entertainer. Entertainer is in quotes.

And Theo, she loves you. You're a favorite. And they're both strippers. They want you to rate that stripper, bro. Rate my stripper. Now, which one is Izzy? On the left or the right? I believe Izzy is our girl with the rainbow tutu.

Okay. Okay, got that thick rainbow. All right. That taste of rainbow, that ROYGBIV, huh? That's the king size freaking Skittles, baby. That's those now and laters. Remember those? Fuck yeah.

They weren't that great. No, they weren't. They look like a box of runts over here. You don't know what you're wearing. Damn. What? Friend, these are two young women trying to make it in society.

Now, the one on the left can get it, though. She wants to share a bag of fucking Mike and Ike. Sit me up, girl. Dude, what does that mean? Run a train? Who's Ike, bro? Here's what I'm saying. You and I are Mike and Ike.

Dude, both of these ladies, one of them is wearing a nightie. One of them is wearing more of like a, has very like a kind of a clownish sort of outdoorsy maybe. Raven? Fire Festival. They look like two chicks that went to Fire Festival and fucking got disappointed. And they're still there though.

They're still there. They don't have money to get back. Yeah, they look like a couple of fire festival lifers still still doing live instagrams from fire festival it says jim just barbecuing outdoors with a couple of jamaicans just barbecuing coconuts now tell you what man they're probably thinking the same thing i I want to go on naked and afraid, just lose the pounds. That's what it takes for me to lose weight. I'll do it. Naked and afraid.

I could see you on there, bro. I'll get my cheeks out. I don't want that. I just want to see how you survive. You and I could do naked and afraid. But you don't go just to be naked. You could be naked at home, you delinquent. No, you're right.

You go to be afraid. Yeah, I would be afraid of the dark. Nobody's there. It's like their first day of this modeling around the land. I would be. Pull-ups on the tree. Just fucking, I'm excited for this. And then, don't bring a hot chick,

man. I don't get how the dudes just aren't like, I don't know what to tell you. I've seen fucking hyenas all goddamn week. And then your fine ass comes up with this blowout ass. Oh, you mean if a chick, what do you mean? Don't bring a hot chick or do? What do you mean? I'd like a hot chick there, but then also

forgive me. You know what I'm saying? No, I don't. That's what I'm asking you. I don't understand exactly what you're saying. Well, I'm saying I'm trapped on this island for 21 days butt naked with some like dime piece. No problem, son. Dude, no dime is going on there without some mental issues.

I don't think going on naked and afraid. Exactly. So these two, they need to figure it out. They need to figure it out. Lord of the thoughts. Is that where you're going? Lord of the thighs.

That's what I was going to say. No, I'm not talking about these girls. I'm talking about the girl naked and afraid. Derek's panning down. Look, here's what I think. Honestly, I think these bad bitches are on drugs, dude. And I'm drug free, and so I can't be out there, out there watching y'all do all the dust and everything out there

and licking each other's thighs and ass and all of that. Shit, not one on the left. Let's get a bag of Pop Rocks and figure it out, girl. Now, Kat, what do you guys say when you see these types of ladies? Oh, I love it. Asian girls always come dressed like that for raves. Always. And do Asians love raves? Yes. Why?

Asians love raves, ecstasy, slutty clothes, and fake tits. Yeah! Check, check, check! You're an Asian girl. Yeah. I'm a giant Asian girl.

Wow. We found something new. Have you ever been to a rave? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They beat some guy with a chain at it one time. I was like, this is horrible. Dude, I went to a rave one time and there's eight people.

It's sad. It was in Hollywood. There's eight people. And we stayed up all night, man. That's not a rave, dude. Yeah, you might be right. But there was a DJ though. And I was on the dance floor like this.

I got caught at a place looking for dope one time with some lady, I remember. And what happened? I don't know, man. I don't know what happened. Well, king these ladies. Yeah, what do they need? Money for the fair?

What do they need? An Uber home? What's going on here? Thank you, ladies, for the love. Y'all seem like decent women, and I think at a certain point. I like strippers. Now, if they're strippers, yeah, look, get out there and make your money. But also, I think you need to have some sort of a long-term exit strategy. Because at some point, the tits don't lie. Sometimes the tits give up and your ass falls back.

You know what I'm saying? Then the money stops. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, too. Yeah. But I didn't know. I always, Asian girls always make me feel like they're not interested.

I think because I don't know their vibe at all, you know? Really? Like white girls and black girls, I can tell more their vibe because I grew up around them. Asians always look the same. No.

Like I never know what, I never know if cats in a good mood or bad mood. Really? Always looks the same. Oh, I don't think that. I think I can tell it. That's not a racial thing. But it's because I know cats a little better. Maybe it's because I don't know if Kat's in a good mood or bad mood. Really? Always looks the same. Oh, I don't think that. I think I can tell it. That's not a racial thing.

But it's because I know Kat a little better. Maybe it's because I don't know a lot. But yeah, a lot of Asian girls, they never seem interested. They never look at you. Dude, I got you. Dude, just start talking about anime. They freak the fuck out. Really?

Oh, dude, it's such a turn on. I don't know anything about it. Me neither. Just say Pokemon or some shit. Uh-uh. I'm not using Pokemon to get into it. How old are these women? I don't know. See, that's the other thing. You don't know their age either.

Well, I'm going to know. It's dicey, doesn't it? Sounds like it does. Yeah. Jesus, dude. Well, good luck with the Asians, Dale. Me? Me? Good luck not turning your diary over to police, dude.

You're in trouble. What else do we have to do here, man? Because I don't know what's going on. You guys got to give a little relationship advice, man. You guys got to do it. Oh, dude, we helped so many people. I hope it's an Asian girl. We helped so many people.

I hope this guy sent me a death threat. Because we told him to fake like he was Christian to get with his girl. Yeah. That was good advice for that kid with braces. What else you got? All right, we got our boy. This is Zach, Zach Kennedy. I know him, I think.

What up, boys? Zach coming to you live from Fishersville, Virginia. I don't. I need some relationship advice from you fellas. Currently in a relationship with a girl who's going to uh pa school and uh recently she has asked me to help her with a colonoscopy exam that means she's gonna have to stick her finger in my ass you know i i really like her she's cool you know but i just i just don't know if i'm ready to get a finger stuck in my ass like that, like just to be, you know, violated and exposed.

I mean, my uncle did it, but, you know, he didn't give me a warning. Now that I have a warning, I kind of don't want to do it. You got to live, man. Anyways, let me know what you guys think, if I should or I should not. Gang bang butt stuff. Say what up. Oh, she showed one of those fingers too at the end with that peace sign. She said like this.

She's a little long in that fucking hand rope, bro. She got some fingers on her. I'm a little confused. So he's going in for a colonoscopy? No, his girl is going to school to be that doctor. She wants to start she wants to work it on him yes yeah so it's not a sexual thing is it no she's just trying to learn

now when i was a younger man i was with this older lady who's a weather girl and she just knuckle deep my asshole man you had to get i had to get my mind right. I wasn't ready for it. She put my legs up like a baby. Bro, those legs are so big. Oh, dude. She was like this. 60% chance of showers, bro. That's crazy. I went, girl, you're messing with fire here.

Messing with this slip and slide now. And it wasn't my thing, but I tried it because I got to live, bro. You got to live a little. You don't know. Huh. You don't know. Huh? You don't know. Yeah, go for a hike or something. You don't have to live a little by having somebody hold your legs up in the air and get inside of your butt.

Now, this was her thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, if you want to be nice to somebody. I was John Stockton. She's Carl Malone. Right. I guess. There's an assist.

You know what I'm saying? She's Carl Malone. Can't she be a woman in the story? I don't know any women that played in the NBA. Yeah, well, just don't use that reference. All right. All right. I'm John Stockton.

She's Dwight Howard. Okay, now we're talking. Now we're making sense, dude. First of all, I'm going to go with this for this guy, dude. And second of all, this fucking guy, bro, he's obviously letting his girl put her finger in his butt. This dude doesn't have a choice.

This dude probably, as a baby, used to put a pacifier in his butt, dude. This guy is so ready to have a finger in his butt, it's insane. He put on glasses so nobody would see him. He's in the fucking witness protection program, bro.

And he's about to get pointed out, dude. Yeah. This dude likes butt play. I've seen this, bro. He showed his lady at the end. She's sitting down relaxing. He's wandering around making a video at a brewing company. And she just went like this.

Yeah, she showed two fingers at the end. She gave a peace sign. That's two fingers, you nutcase. This lady's going to hide all kinds of secrets in your butt. Look at the look on her face. She's in charge. Yeah, I'm not mad at her at all, girl. Brandon, this is about them, man.

I know, but you got a nice young lady to put fingers in your ass. What? That's what's going on here, dude. She looks smart, though, too. She'll be making money one day. What? You guys are disgusting, man. Just because she puts her fingers in the guy's butt, she's going to be making money

one day? That's how you do it, dog. Cash money. Dude, live a little. I am alive, dude. Unfortunately right now. Look, man. This guy's ready. This dude is the freaking super high. This guy

is taking all comers into the old freaking finger holster. This dude's a splash mountain of butt sacks. Dude, just let it happen, bro. This guy probably will have three or four rings in his butt by the time it's all over, dude. People will be losing jewelry into this fella. It's only up from here, my man.

Yep. Good luck. All right, boys, let's wrap it up with a little debate club. All right? God, you're both retarded. Man, I've learned a lot, I think. Actually, I don't.

Well, we learned how many rats there are. What else did we learn? Oh, Stephen King wrote Shawshank? Yep. The cat and the bugs? The tree? Cat, the bug. Oh, that's right. With rice. Imagine taking a girl to lunch and she's like, where's the restaurant? And you're like, right here.

What a pimp move. Just hit on a birch. And then just, boom, two bowls of white rice. You're going to earn it today, girl. It's beautiful. This is Mother Nature's buffet. There's something beautiful about that. There is. There's something beautiful about that, having a couple bugs with a friend.

Up first, we got Dan Weaver from Alexandria, Louisiana. Gang, brother. Near Fort Polk. What's up, Theo? What's up, Brendan? I'm just going to be honest with you guys. Your podcast is the best one out there in the world. Makes me laugh the most of any podcast I've ever listened to.

Thanks, Daniel. But I got a debate club question for you. Who wins out of a hippopotamus or that big old elephant hitter? See, in my opinion, elephant wins 99.99% of the time. But let's see what you guys think. Pinky Rain, Fuzz Rug. Let's go.

Fuzz Rug, dog. Fuzz Rug, bro. I have a pet peeve, I think, when people say 99.99% of the time. I got it when you said 99%. Yeah, and they keep going. And it's nothing against you, man. It has nothing to do with you. It's too much. It's my problem.

So I'm sorry for thinking that about you. Could have stopped at 99. It's like when I went, the world is a vampire. Done. Yeah. Then I went, boom, down, down, down, down,, Daniel has that Timothy McVay beard piece too, man. He's got that bomber, bro. This dude, you know what I'm saying?

This dude. Fitzpatrick. He looks very Fitzpatrick, the quarterback. Yeah, yeah. He has that very Ryan. That's a good call. Ryan Fitzpatrick. Very Ryan Fitzpatrick. Yeah, he went dark.

Well, that's cool. He's that come from behind guy, dude. This guy will get it done, bro. He's that dude who's going to throw for 500 yards but never win a game. But one game throw for seven touchdowns. And not win. Just doesn't win. He's put on all these shitty teams.

Balling out. He's also a Harvard graduate, I think. Yeah. Yeah, smart dude. Shout out Alexandria, Louisiana over there. I went to a prom up there with a girl from Fort Polk one time and her dad made us watch while we kissed each other at the end of the night. The dad watched? Yeah.

Because he don't want too much tongue in his girl. I don't know. Yeah, that's exactly it, you know? Pretty easy. He watched from pretty close, too. Did he? I thought it was in hindsight. He started off kind of further away than he got close.

He was like Joe Rogan at the weigh-ins? Yeah. He'll back off, dude. Give me an inch here, dude. Give me an inch, bro. Don't worry. I'm not going to hit her. Just like the weigh-ins, bro. Yeah, man, like the weigh-ins, brother. He's probably making sure

you weren't going to slip a hand on that tit. Oh, yeah. Well, this guy. Oh, that man? Yeah, he was. How old was she? He was in the military and she was underage and so was I. You were 16? 16 or 17, yeah. Was she one of those 16 or 17-year-olds with the big old fun bags?

Because that's probably why he was so old. What? I can't think about that right now, dude. It's illegal to think about children with tits, man. Not when you're both 17. But I can't be 17 right now. Good point. Back to Vince Patrick.

I feel you, though. I've heard where you're going, my bad, man. Because that's why the dad's so on it, you know? Yeah, that's true. If your daughter has a set of fun bags, you don't want anyone flapping those things around. Oh, dude, I can't imagine. If my daughter has tits, dude, we're going to have to have a talk.

Yeah, my tits stay here. You can go out, but the tits stay at the house, honey. Especially after midnight, girl. Also, I'm going to wrap these things real tight. Oh, yeah. I'm going to duct tape those t the house, honey. Especially after midnight, girl. Also, I'm going to wrap these things real tight. Oh, yeah. I'm going to duct tape those tits down, boy. Got to. Oh, man.

You're wearing baggy sweats. Boy, you better shut it down, dude. Keep them hush puppies inside. Yep. I hope she has any nipples, dude, because I'm not. This stuff's got to stop, dude. Dude, that's more of a curse than anything. Having nipples that are innies?

Nah, those are whatever. I'm talking about when you're a young girl and you're in middle school or high school and you're the first one to blossom some tits out. With them fucking body rockets, bro. Dude. Them fucking orbs, bro. Get them flesh fucking hitters out the front. Cat, did you know anyone with that problem?

We had a girl named Danielle, and man, I felt bad for her. Big titty, they call her? She'd wear overalls, and they would just pop out. You know what with that prom? We had a girl named Danielle, and man, I felt bad for her. Big titty, they call her? She'd wear overalls, and they would just, pow, pow. You know what I'm saying? She wore overalls. She wore overalls. Sounds like a young guy. And Derek, you know whoever it was that called him big titty, didn't they?

Oh, hell yeah, dude. Big tit-tit. You know, there's always that one girl who just, she hit too early, man. Yeah, I knew a girl named Michelle in sixth grade. She was fully endowed like a grown-ass woman. And nobody in her family talked to her about it. Big titty Michelle. Also known as Wendy Williams.

Yeah, keep going. No one told her that she needed to start wearing a bra. And it got to the point where a teacher had to go up to her, tell her that she needed to go home, tell her mom to buy her a bra. She freaked out and started crying. Crying right under her tits, huh? The tears went to her tits? Yeah.

Oh, keep going. She's in sixth grade, Brendan. Oh, yeah, Brendan. Sixth grade. Brendan, wait until she gets at least to eighth grade, bro. Dude, I felt bad for those girls because I couldn't wait to walk past her in sixth period. There comes Tip McGee. And then when you're in sixth grade with this boner, you don't know what to do, dude.

I tuck it up in my sweats. Hide it. Give it to your friend to hold. Like, hey, bro, put this in your book bag, man. This thing won't leave me alone. Dude, I'm in trouble over here. I'm in trouble, dude. This thing's about to burst.

Yeah, I hide this thing. You got Danielle with these double Ds. Dang, boy. And then yours is crying on them, so they're wet. That's about to burst. You got Danielle with these double D's. Dang, boy. And yours is crying on them, so they're wet. That's even sexier. Bro, we gotta quit talking about this kind of stuff. Yeah, you're right. So what's this guy want? Hippos? This guy wants a pet hippo?

Hippos versus hornets. Oh, dude, hippos all day. I'm going to educate you on another thing. You know hippos kill more people than any other animal in the world. They're the most dangerous animals on earth. Hippos are fucking filthy, dude. They're super aggressive. And hippos got that value up top, man.

They got that, oh, that's rhinoceros. Yeah. Oh, fuck hippos, man. No, but bottom teeth. The hippos fucking tusk, bro. And they live in the water. And you see their little ears like this in the water. Next you know, done, dude. They're under. That's an underbite, Brendan. I'm tusk, bro. And they live in the water. And you see their little ears like this in the water. And then, you know, done, dude.

They're under. That's an underbite, Brendan. I'm over it, man. I think these hippos, they sound good, but they also seem like they're not doing that good. Yeah, they could be like a hype beast thing, you know, like hype boys, hype hippos. Yeah, people are like, oh, they're amazing. You get there, and they're like, oh, they ain't that great. Like a fucking elephant without a tusk. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking more., they're amazing. You get there and they're like, oh, it ain't that great. It's just a fucking elephant without a tusk.

Yeah, I'm thinking more they're like the short bus of elephants, really. I'm out on hippos, man. I'm going to say elephants. I've always wanted to feel an elephant's trunk, though. 58% elephant. Of course you would. You know what I'm saying?

Brandon looks like the kind of guy that always wanted to feel an elephant's trunk. Hell yeah, dude. That's a good one. I do, man. Last one. Oh, my God. Hold on.

With one hand or two hands? I just want to go up to him like this. Oh, dude, no. Yeah, I just want to wring his little nose out. You're going to get it fucking. Bro, no. Just like feel him on me, dude. I love elephants.

Why you make it all sexual, dude? I'm not, man. I just want to take his trunk and wrap it around like... Oh, you're crazy, man. What else we got? You got to get some rest, man. This is our boy Matt Dover. This is the last one.

This is big Matt. Oh, wow. What happened? He had a vaping accident? Stitches or glue? What you think, boys? Just cut the knee open in a car accident?

We out here. He said, we out here. God damn. We out here. We out here. What was the thing, cartilage or bone? We got a car accident.

And he wants to know stitches or glue? Stitches or glue. You got to go to fix that cut. Both, brothers. Wasn't that part of a bone sticking out? Let's see.

I mean, I'll tell you what you don't want for sure is staff. You know what? That doesn't look that bad. It seems like his neck's more the issue than anything. Do you get a fucked up neck? There's nothing worse. You got a neck brace on? What kind of car were you driving, bro?

Let me guess, a Civic STI with a fin on the back? Bro, he's about to get an STI, dude, from that fucking, if he doesn't fucking clean up that cut. He was going to get a UTI in that cut. That thing looks like a vagina. Did you see the cut? That thing was rough. I'm not mad it was a Michigan Wolverine neck brace.

Wow, man. Look, man, first of all, I hope you're doing healthy. You got mad it was Michigan Wolverine neck brace. Wow, man. Look, man, first of all, I hope you're doing healthy. You got the heart monitors and stuff on, obviously. You know, I thought this was a vaping accident, so I'm glad to know that that's not what occurred. Yeah, the youth is really into it. And you got to do it. If you're running fast or something, you got to be careful.

If you're driving a car, he said it was a car. Car accident. I don't know if I believe that. I'm with you. I think he was in a vaping accident watching Euphoria. These kids these days, bro. Well, he's not doing real well, man. He cut his leg open.

And he wants no stitches or glue. I'd do both. Just double down, bro. Yeah, at this point, man, you're already not doing that great. So I would not take any chances with continuing to not do great. But I'd also pretend I'm always hurt so I get more painkillers. That's what I did as a young kid. That's not going to help.

You're going to end up addicted to those, bro. And then you're going to be getting in more car accidents. You're going to be sending in even more questionable videos like liver or kidney. Which one do I donate? Which one do I sell in the black market? So I think it's safety first, man. I think you should definitely start taking care of yourself. I would glue. I'd glue

everything, bro. I'd glue that shit and then also double up with the stitches on top. Yeah, and I'd have a friend drive from now on, man. I'd take it easy for a little bit. Just take the brakes off yourself. Ask other people for suggestions on how to live your own life. Uber, bro. Like you're doing right now. Yeah, Uber. Listen to us. Uber, bro. And Uber with your heart, bro. Look for the Lord, bro. Uber that neck, bro.

Good luck, dog. Gang, bro. 71% went with stitches on that, boys. And that's it. Oh, yeah, definitely stitches. You can't glue your damn leg back together, dude. That's kind of silly. The same Pinocchio, dude. A little super glue? Come on, bro. You're not a Lego, bro. Stitch it up, man. This is crazy. What were we thinking? You got to use some rope, bro. Yeah, dude. Tie that bitch up.

Put a zipper on it. 2019, man. Put a fucking metal zipper on that bitch. This ain't red plus blue makes green seal, bro. You got to really batten down the hatches. This is your damn limb. Real quick before we go boys last week we started

a new topic and it was who's more likely and the results came for that who's more likely to go to hell between you guys

67% went with Big Brown damn hey leading the way bro see you down there bro keep sending them in guys I'll be the pioneer first.

I'll get your fucking sleeper bag nice and toasty, bro. Facts, dude. We'll be the Red and Andy of hell, bro. Are you going to be able to handle it down there without me? For a little bit, I think. But as long as I know you're going to eventually come down there, I'll be all right. Oh, yeah, I'll be down there. Yeah, I'll be down there.

Yeah, man, just wait for me by the... I'll meet you by the lockers. Yeah, man, just wait for me by the... I'll meet you by the lockers. I'll meet you in the men's locker in the showers, all right? What? What? Meet me out by the water fountains. Nah, bro.

Why am I going in there? You got to shower. It's a long road, bro. You got to shower once you get there. I'll meet you there, bro. Dude, what? Scratch your back. You scratch mine in hell, buddy.

Oh, man. I just want to... We'll get there. I'll meet you there, bro. Dude, what? Scratch your back. You scratch mine in hell, buddy. Oh, man. I just want to. We'll be bunk mates. Oh, man. This is getting worse. I might go to heaven. Hell yeah. Is that it?

That's it, boys. That's it. That was fun, dude. Dude, it's Thanksgiving next week. Thanksgiving. We got to figure out. Shout out to the Lake Monsters. Shout out to all the Lake Monsters.

Yeah, I might wear this. I'm in Salt Lake City this week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'm about to rock this lake monster out there, bro. Oh, nice, dude. The Vermont lake monsters. Vermont it up. I want to suck on a maple tree, dude. Go hard, bro.

Do a bug tree. Well, I'm going to get a bowl of rice and suck some syrup. Don't go syrup, man. Go something heartier. Go caterpillar. A nice, juicy caterpillar? I think, mm. It's a delicacy in some places, man. It tastes. Go Caterpillar. A nice, juicy Caterpillar. I think, it's a delicacy in some places,

man. It tastes like a dumpling in your mouth. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. All right. Is that it, dude? Gang,

gang, bro. Gang, gang. Don't touch me. Keep touching me, though. Keep touching me,

bro.