The Golden Hour - Episode 47: Thanksgiving Special

Episode Date: November 28, 2019

The guys share what they're thankful for and talk Disney Plus and BUST, Turkey Whores, Butt Flex Walking, Freddy Cruisers, High School Years vs College Years, Crotch Pocket Relationship Advice, Jurassic Chide My Ride, Sweet Potato Penises, Purple Yam Dicks and much more!1. MVMT - https://mvmt.com/ code: HOLIDAY192. Indochino - https://indochino.com/ code: KATS3. MyBookie - https://mybookie.ag/ promo code: KATS4. FIGS - https://wearfigs.com/ code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha That's hairspray Get your life together It is, you idiot Don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude Oh wow, what do you have a baseball too?

I look like fucking Alex Rodriguez Dude, who you Neymar dude? You get a baseball? Yeah, dog Bro, Happy Thanksgiving, man. Dude, happy Thanksgiving, bro. I thought you dressed up as... Keep stuffing me, bro. I mean, touch me.

I mean, don't touch me. Looks like Abe Lincoln. I'm glad you dressed up, bro. Oh, thanks, man. I like the Abe Lincoln thing, dude. Nice, bro. And you have that beautiful... Is that a partridge?

What is that? This would be a turkey. Gobble, gobble. It looks like a real thick pigeon. It might be a thick pigeon. I like pigeons. Yeah, you'd have to. I'd rather eat pigeons than a turkey.

Turkey, dry-ass bird, bro. Since when did, wait, it's 2000, look at me, take me serious. It's 2019. Why are we still eating fucking dry old chalk bird, bro? Let's mix it up, dude. Bro, y'all got gotta dampen that bird these i want birds i want birds mine inject these batches with water something dude i want my bird like my gushers i want them juicy you know what i'm saying i want them bitches damn damn big birds bro yeah i want that shit juicy. They're just not a juicy bird.

They're boring. They also look mean as shit. And they be hoeing, too. Can you look up how often do turkeys conjugate? Can you look that up? Dude, you ever seen them turkeys? The male ones have the scrotum. They have their nuts hanging from their beak.

It's that throatum. It's that throatum, bro. And I just told my joke twice, and I wish I would have done that. I hate it when I hear it. I know. I heard you the first time, dude. I'm sorry, man. Dude, happy Thanksgiving, bro. Happy Thanksgiving, man. It's a day of giving.

It is, man. It's a day of thanks. I want to say thanks, man. Thanks for always showing up every week and keeping a good attitude, bro. I don't always do that, so I'm thankful that you do that. Yeah, man. Thank you for just being you, dude. Thank you.

Thank you for allowing me to wear a turkey hat and be a dumbass. Well, it sounds a little vague, I think, after the one that I said, but... You think? No, I'm joking. I think it was nice of you to say that. Dude, I'll give you some turkey. You were at my house last year for Thanksgiving. That's true, huh? That Mexican fiesta. Oh, yeah.

I'm a big... Unbelievable, bro. Going with him to his family all comes in. They're all Mexican, dude. It sounds like the most racist experience, bro. It gets weird, doesn't it? I'm the only guy that doesn't speak Spanish. Even you speak more Spanish than me.

I know. The whole thing I'm talking about is Spanish. I'm like, bro, learn a couple of palabras, papa. Happy Thanksgiving, Derek. What are you thankful for, man? I'm like bro learn a couple of palabras papa happy Thanksgiving Derek what do you got what are you thankful for man oh bro thankful for

being able to go home with my family I'm going back to Memphis oh wow you're thankful for planes or what no I like them I like being around my family

I never see them you know last time you saw them was when we were in Nashville yeah it's crazy Derek's dad looks identical to him, but white.

Yeah, I saw him. They came to one of our shows. They came to one of the shows. Beautiful, yeah. Same voice, everything. Yeah, very interesting. Very crazy. He was thug, bro.

He was thugging a little. A little bit. He was thugging. He had a little bit of thug in him, huh? A little bit, dog. I could see it. Did he grow up? Yep, all around black.

Bowling Green, Kentucky. Gang, bro. He was a real poor. Gang, bro. He was the only white boy in, Kentucky. Gang, bro. Real poor. Gang, bro. He's the only white boy in the neighborhood. Well, other than the other poor whites. He was around a lot of poor whites, but he played sports. That's how he fit in.

Word, bro. Working my life, papa. Gang, bro. And Kat, what are you guys doing for Thanksgiving? What's your- Do you guys celebrate Thanksgiving, Kat? Is that your thing? Of course we celebrate Thanksgiving.

We're American. God damn it. Yeah, damn it, Brendan. You're right. I don't know if it's the biggest deal in your culture. You know, because like Asians, it's more of a, you know. Yep. And it's good.

I brought this to a screeching halt. That's all right. That's all right. How about pilgrims, dude? Shout out to pilgrims. Shout out to pilgrims. Shout out to Native Americans. Shout out to Indians.

Shout out to. Shout out to everyone. Just I'm thankful for everyone. Yeah, man. I'm thankful. I think we all have a lot to be thankful for. And thankful for everybody. It's rare we get to say thanks. Because there's guys where it's like, oh, that's gay.

Well, it's not, dude. Yeah, a lot of guys, instead of saying thanks, they'll fart on their buddy. Or they'll flick them in the nuts. It's like, dude, I don't like that. All right? So it's rare to say thanks to someone, man. And we were part of something where we got to say thank you. Talking about that Samuel Adams hitter.

That Sam Adams hitter, dude. They have a toast someone campaign and you might have seen Brendan probably posted his on TFATK. This is one that, this was my toast to everyone and I don't drink, but this campaign is awesome and so I want you guys to check it out.

This is why I love yours, Theo. You have to toast someone with a beer, which is an alcoholic beverage, but you're sober. It takes a real gangster to be a comedian and stay sober. I'm an alcoholic, raging alcoholic now. I didn't drink before I became a comedian. Wow. I drink double whiskey before every set. Yeah.

Here's what's gangster in the discipline you have not to even entertain it it's really gangster dude so i'm proud of you man thanks man i appreciate it it's really courageous i and i listen i it sucks sometimes i want that beer i bet you do that shit is tasty god i want ice cold on a summer day bro but the thing about that you know i i know some uh people who struggle with it and i think you're an inspiration to them there. A lot of them don't go out and be like, no, I don't want to be tempted. I'm telling you, man, be like Theo. Be around it and have the willpower not to entertain it. It's really gangster,

dude. Thanks, bro. I didn't mean to get all serious with a stupid turkey on my head, but let's play the ad. Bro, I'm never taking you serious. But thanks, bro. Yeah, this campaign was awesome, man. Let's play this. Let's play this.

Let's play this. Me and Theo Vaughn, it's kind of wild right now. Life's gotten pretty crazy. It just kind of blows my mind sometimes. I have an opportunity to toast anyone that I want. I'm going to toast the audience that comes to my shows. This next guy, he's one of my favorite people in the whole world to watch. You're very, very lucky to see him.

Make a line for Theo Vaughn! I don't drink alcohol, but I wanted to be part of this campaign because toasting is such a simple act of kindness, letting somebody know that you recognize them, letting somebody know that they mean something to you. Thank you you dude. A lot of recognition these days is liking something or sharing something. It's just so fleeting, the value of that.

Put on the brakes, let somebody know they mean something to you. I realized the other day, I look like somebody who knows where the rabies at. Sam Adams is the perfect beer for a toast because it has a traditional vibe to it. I'm trying to think about reincarnation, bro. You know, because I'm planning on doing it again, you know? So often I feel like we get advertised one thing but delivered something else.

People deserve to get something for their money. You know, I see a couple sitting there, maybe they hired a babysitter and this is their one night of the month that they go out and do something fun. A mother and son that'll come out to the show or a pair of brothers. I want to make a toast actually to you guys. You guys always continue to come back and allow me to really follow my dream, you know, like this is my dream. For years I would get to the venue and there wouldn't be anybody there. That's why it's important to me to put on the best show. You know, I couldn't live my dream to win an audience.

So I want to toast you guys, the audience, for always being there for me and meeting me in every city that I go to. Anybody can be toasted. It's something we need more of, telling each other, hey, I see you, and thank you. If your next beer is a Sam Adams tonight it's on me everybody in the house and thank you very much how great is that man how cool is that pretty cool boys with your the boys are

with Sam Adams gang buzz buzz bro gang gang big bro toast someone pretty cool huh toast a man it gets toasty out there toast your bro man yeah that was cool Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, bro. Come on. Gang, gang. Getting big, bro. Toast someone. Pretty cool, huh? Toast them, man. It gets toasty out there. Toast your bro, man. Yeah. That was cool. Thanks, bro. That was really cool, man.

Yeah, yours is really great, too, man. It's all right. No, it's awesome, dude. Yeah, it's all right. It's cool to be associated with Sam Adams, though. Yeah, and it was a neat group, too. It was just a neat group of people that got to do it. I thought it was pretty cool.

The guy who shot Kevin? Yeah. God, he's a smart dude, man. Yeah, they did a good job. Yeah, it was really cool. They guy who shot Kevin? Yeah. He's a smart dude, man. Yeah, they did a good job. Yeah, it was really cool. They did a really good job, man. Ari Maness was in there. Jeff Berner.

You saw those guys? Yeah, it was cool. It's cool you got to do it at the Comedy Store, too. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people you don't know at the Comedy Store, they really don't play those games where they let you shoot and cameras around. It's the toughest place in the world to shoot something. Yeah, it's like shooting Fort Knox, dude.

It's trying to shoot JFK, bro. It's tough. You need some help. You feel me? You need some help. But yeah, man, it was pretty cool. That was cool, man. Thanks, bro.

Like I said, I saw yours before we played. I haven't seen the finished product here. But man, I think it's pretty badass, man, that you're sober and you're able to be in these comedy clubs around alcohol and your buddy here's an alcoholic. I think it's pretty inspiring. I think this is more about you trying to tell us something, man. Yeah. I need help, man. Well, dude, just because I don't drink, it's like, yeah, a lot of the audience drinks.

A lot of them don't. We just have fun. Dude, my favorite drink is cocaine, man. So that's why I don't drink. I don't have a problem drinking either. But if I drink, dude, there's a really good chance I'm by cocaine. So I just can't risk it. It goes down to a bad road.

And with that nose, you're snorting all the coke. Sorry, that was just a sound my nose made, bro. Because a breeze went by. Twilight zone in that motherfucker. Bro, I'll kill half a gram of fucking turmeric from fucking 60 yards away, son. Fuck yeah. Bro, I'll put a spice rack on its knees, bro. Gonna be warmer tomorrow.

I'll be telling you shit, boy. I got these crystal balls up in here, dude. Dude, enough coke. You look like freaking Ren and Stimpy, bro. Ren and Pimpy, bro. You and me, dude. I got these crystal balls up in here, dude. You're enough coke, you look like freaking Ren and Stimpy, bro. Ren and Pimpy, bro. You and me, dude. I keep drinking. You keep snorting.

Oh, man. We're going to end up in prison probably. Or it could be awesome. Well, we're easily going to end up with probably some charges or something for some of the things we've said. No one ever did something creative without cocaine or caffeine. You feel me? No, I don't feel that, actually. Yeah, I don't feel that either.

That's not the message we're trying to give out here. Be thankful. me? No, I don't feel that, actually. Yeah, I don't feel that either. That's not the message we're trying to give out here. Be thankful. And hopefully by us doing this, you can find one of your bros and give them a little cheer. Then thankful, man. Amen. Yeah. Toast somebody you care about. Who would you toast, Derek?

Ooh. Probably my boy, Brian Simpson. Just my boy, man. Comic comedian. Yeah, he's just funny. Yeah, he just did Your Mom's House and we started together. The funniest man. What would you toast him for? Oh, just being

the best friend. Just for being a... Yeah, just being a comedy friend and just growing through all this, just grinding together. Just coming up together and just staying boys.

Well, we'll see. He might die. He has horrible sleep apnea. That's just not going to make it. Is he really? Oh, yeah. He can't breathe when he sleeps. Well, you don't need

Sam Adams to do that, okay? You don't need a fat paycheck and Sam Adams to do that. Just do it. That's the message. Kat, who would you toast? I'd probably toast my dad. Nice. Does he drink beer?

Oh, my God. Like a alcohol. Papa Cat can drink, huh? Really? Papa Cat can drink. Does he have a beer belly? No, surprisingly. He's Shred City? He's not Shred City.

Dad bod? Yeah, dad bod. Standard dad bod, but he probably should have a gut. My grandpa has a gut and it's hard as rock. That's what my dad is going to get. That's a disease. Yeah, it is a disease called rock gut.

It's called arteriosclerosis, Brendan. It's called rock gut. Yeah, it is a disease called rock gut. It's called, no, arteriosclerosis, Brendan. It's called rock gut in the streets. Why would you toast your dad, though? Oh, that man is a badass. Is he? Yes.

How so? His life story is crazy. Give us a little fucking flavor, Kat. Well, my dad escaped Vietnam, lived in a refugee camp for a year.

He would, then he came to America. He somehow hooked up with this chick from Mexico who came to a house party from Mexico visiting family members. He somehow wooed her. He didn't speak English. She didn't speak English. They got together.

He ended up moving to Mexico for a year to be with her. Do you have kids with her? We think he might, but we're not quite sure. I'm pretty sure I have an older brother somewhere. Wow. I'm pretty sure I do. I don't know. I wonder if your older brother watches the show or not.

What if he has no idea? I don't know. What's good? I wonder if your brothers and sisters watch the show. You feel me? Then your father came up here. How did he meet your mom then? Family, friends.

It's really weird. He's like 15, 16 years older than her. He was a bit of a cradle robber. Your dad has some game, huh? He's got some game. I love that. It's beautiful. Yeah, badass dude. I like that. I just hosted the audience. A lot of those people come

out and have a great time. It's just crazy to have an audience. It's so hard to get an audience in this mean, it's so hard to get an audience in this business, or to get people to have. It's so hard. Yeah, it's tough to keep them. It's been like 16, 17 years. It's tough to keep them, too. Yeah.

I always forget. I said this the other day. We were at the comedy store. You walked away, and I said something about just comedy in general. Someone was like, dude, Theo's been doing it for 15 years? I always feel like, I don't know why. I don't know. I feel like we just been doing it the same. Yeah. You know? Yeah, man. I's been doing it for 15 years. I always feel like, I don't know why. I don't know. I feel like we just been doing it the same.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, man. I mean, I was on the tour. I've been touring for probably almost 16 years now. So, yeah, I think that's why this past year I just got, I just, this is one of the toughest years ever. It's been great, but it's also tough. It was just a lot.

It was just like, man, I just hit this spot time where I was just so tired. I was just exhausted. Almost overwhelmed, right? And the stimulus, it's a lot. Just overwhelmed a lot. And I think it's tough for people to understand. I get it. And you're not talking about this all the time. I think people think because you're Theo Vaughn, you have this, you're torn on time, sold out crowds and your pocket's going well. They think, oh dude, you have money. It's good. It's not about any of that, man. That doesn't equal happiness. Yeah, I don't have anything different. I got a Jeep Grand Cherokee now that I got paying $5.50 a month on, but that's about it, man.

That's a nice thing. I bought these hair plugs. That fucking fresh fucking baby drape I'm growing. Yeah, that shit does look fresh. But they haven't grown in yet. But thank you. Sorry. But anyhow, man, I'm thankful for this show, dude.

I'm excited. I'm excited. Yeah, we're going to do a show refresh. People should know that. We have some big announcements. Some changes come up with King and Sting. All for the better, man. We're going to do a refresh and just kind of do some new segments.

And just kind of renew it. Let's freshen it up. Always getting better, man. Yeah, always getting better, dude. Let's kick this gobble, gobble bitch up, man. Gobble, gobble. All right, let's do something, huh? Let's start a little new segment, boys.

The who's more likely. How about that, huh? All right. Ooh, all right. I like this. Up first, we got Ty from Michigan. Big Ty. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, bro. I don't know if you guys recognize me, but I Ty from Michigan. Big Ty. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.

Gang, bro. I don't know if you guys recognize me, but I was the dude who had the knee surgery a couple episodes ago. With the neck brace? You see me now, man. I'm on that mill, baby, that treadmill. I'm back in action. Gang. That's him?

Who's more likely to die first in a horror movie, Theo or Brendan? Gang, gang. Congrats on the steps, man. Congrats on the steps, man. Congrats on the steps, bro. One step at a time. Yep. Take 12 of them, dude, and then. Analyze your life.

Yeah, and analyze your life, dude. I don't know what happened to him, but I'm trying to remember. He was a while ago. I don't remember either, but I do remember someone sending in something when they got their knee surgery. He had to get knee surgery. No, he had two legs in the video. Did he? He did.

Unless one of them was like a- Prosthetic? Halloween leg or whatever. Yeah, it's stuck to tell these days. Prosthetic, yeah. Good luck, man. One foot in front of the other, you know? Yeah, gang on that mill, son.

Die in a horror movie. Who's more like, let's go to you guys. You guys are better. Yeah, you guys tell us first. Yeah, we have no clue what we're like oh wow me why

you black bro you a black dude dang bro you're closer to being a black dude than my boy and you are gone yeah fuck dude

they're gonna send me in to do something I'll go look for something for us you'll be like alright dog alright we're gonna break up deal you go that way

the rest of us go this way gang dead alright yeah gang shit bro yeah gang shit good luck damn bro Break up, deal. You go that way. The rest of us go this way. Gang. Gang, gang. Dead. All right, yeah, gang shit, bro. Yeah, gang shit. Good luck. Damn, bro. They fucking be killing black dudes even in fucking horror movies, man.

That's so fucked up when you think about it, dude. Black dudes and Asian dudes. Oh, bro, go on. But the Asian dude you think you would keep around, but he's going to try to befriend the fucking creature and shit I feel like they get a little wild when it come to creatures. Yeah, that's fair. You know, that's fair cat Who do you think would die first? Hmm. I feel like you would die first only because you would probably wander off somewhere and then run into the killer

Accidentally a secret meeting. Yeah a secret meeting like you were trying to find something obscure, and you found death and stuff. I've seen too many horror movies, man. You know what I'm saying? Seen way too many. Seen way too many. Dying first? Come on, bro. Bro, Wreck-It Ralph don't count as a horror movie.

Have you seen Wreck-It Ralph 2? With their locked-in Wi-Fi? Pretty scary, bro. Up is pretty scary when the grandmother dies and they repossess her house with the balloons. God, that movie is dark. Have you seen Coraline? Jesus, huh? Have you seen Coraline?

That movie is super dark. Is it? Dude, Little Mermaid? Oh. Dark. Dude. Well, fuck, dude. Fine, I die.

Yeah, that's fair. But I'm coming back as a ghost dude and I'll be in the sequel too and you're gonna haunt me huh you're gonna haunt me no

ooh I'm just gonna ooh ooh no don't I'm just gonna cause trouble dude I'm not gonna hump you you're just gonna cause what do you think

I'm the ghost of Darren Sharper dog I'm just gonna do regular behaviors man the ghost of Darren Sharper is? I'm just going to do regular behaviors, man. The ghost Darren Sharper is called Bill Cosby. Alright. I admit it. What did people say? Do we know? 63%

went with Big Brown. Damn. I think you're dying, bro. I wonder why. I don't know. I thought it was you at first because I didn't... Your audience is dumb. I don't know. I thought it was you at first because I didn't. Your audience is dumb. I didn't want to lose. I didn't want to lose because that's how I was like, oh, it's Brendan. You know, he goes out there.

But maybe that's why they thought I'd be in hell first because I'm going to die first. Maybe they're one step ahead of us, but two steps back in life. What if they predict our futures, dude? They'd finally get something right. Look into it. What else you got? We got Richard Leo up next. Oh, Dickie Leo.

What's up, Theo? What's up, Brendan? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. What's up, Rich? You hit us with that new hitter last week, which is Who Is More Likely. And Netflix and chill is a thing of the past. So we got a new one. And Derek, this doesn't go for you.

Who's more likely to hit that Disney Plus and bus? Dang. Let me know who's more likely to hit Disney Plus and bus. Gang, gang, bus, bus. Well, I got a kid. I got another one coming up, too. So I got one kid and a newborn, so I need Disney Plus.

You as a grown man alone with your thoughts, you shouldn't have Disney Plus. Yeah, I don't want it. If you do, you're catching that fucking Chris Hansen. Why don't you take a seat? We see you sent your login info for Disney Plus,

and you got a full set of Smirnoff Ice and condoms. You want to explain something to us, Theo? Yeah, you have a full two-pack of Sam Adams with the lid still on. See, I don't want to cheers you. You still want to explain to us? Yeah, I think that's an easy one, man. Disney Plus and bust is you, man. Has to be, dog.

But you got to get neutered. Are you getting neutered or not? Nah, never, dude. I'll have 10 kids, bro. That's what I'm saying, bro. One of them's going to make it out. And Derek, you got to have something to live. Something should live out of whatever you've been making all the time.

I can't believe your girl doesn't have a kid. It's crazy when I'm pregnant, bro. You might want to get checked out for your swimmers, bro. Why you got to put it on? Don't put that out there. Yeah, you're saying black people can't swim, dude? Yeah, bro, what you trying to say? You're trying to say I'm not safe. You're fucked up, man.

I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry, man. You know what I'm saying. I know what you're saying. Yeah, it is a double oxy, isn't it? Can't swim. Double entendre. I can't believe. Oh, man.

It's all right, man. I think you're fucking brave, bro. I can't even imagine just traveling out into a world every day with different words and shit. And having a limited arsenal. Fucking think it's brave as fuck. You're like the Katniss of the fucking vocabulary. A what? You're like Katniss Everdeen from Game of Thrones

or whatever. Hunger Games. Hunger Games. I haven't seen Hunger Games. You show up every day and fucking battle to the end. Hell yeah, dude. It's fucking...

Hell yeah. It's impressive, man. I'll take it. What else we got? 58% Brendan. A lot of people voted for you on that one. What was the thing about it?

They wanted you to Disney Plus and bust. Oh, dude. Yeah, that does not aim well. That ends with me in prison. Yeah. What are you going to do with it? If you don't have kids, I don't think you're going to have Disney Plus.

There's nothing on there for you. But, dude, is that grown men freaking out? Is there a chance to even bust if you're watching Disney Plus? I don't know if you do. Do you do sex to a cartoon? Yeah, you can. If you got this dimey-dime off Instagram, she's like, oh, let's watch Moana. It seems pretty harmless.

Well, Moana drags out. It does? That's where you get your dick out. Oh, wow. That extended time, yeah. You're welcome. Bro. That's that.

This guy's seen it a lot. That's that. Yeah, I guess towards the end of the game, you got to pull your dick out, I guess, at the end of it. You got to make a move. Shoot or shoot. Some movies, I think, were basically boring. They should just make a movie for

guys that's like, hey, this movie's so boring at this point, you're going to be able to pull your dick out. Yeah. She's going to be so over the movie pulled out here. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. And at one point after, just look at the screen goes. Yeah. Yeah. The last towards the end, though, the actor's just

winking over at you. It's George Clooney gone. You're welcome. Half the movie's just in a hypnotist's office. And so by the end, you're like, wow. She's just so bored. She'd rather see your wiener. What a great idea, dude. Yeah.

Paramount, don't steal our shit, bro. Yeah, Paramount, boy. What else we got, Doug? We got Debate shit, bro. Yeah, Paramount, boy. What else we got, Doug? We got debate club, boys. Up first, this is Jimmy and Brendan from Deep River, Connecticut. His name's Brendan? Ooh, DRC, huh? Jimmy and B.

Hey, King and the Sting, it's Jimmy and Brendan from Deep River, Connecticut. We got a debate club for you. What do you think? You like those Freddy Cruisers? Occlusive resort right here. Freddy Cruisers? They're in right here. Freddy Cruisers. They're in Maui. Hey, gang.

Buzz buzz. They're in Maui, man. I've been to that resort. Oh, they were actually in Cabo San Lucas. It's all right, though. All oceans look the same to you. Good call. Well, they should be in Maui, man, if they had any cool ideas.

Cruises are all, listen, I don't like cruises, bro. I don't like cruises. I don't like being trapped on a boat. This day and age is just where people are killing their wives, throwing them off the boats. So, listen, I'm not into that dark fucking cruise ship art. You know what I'm saying? Inclusive resorts, I don't really like either. Anything inclusive,

all you can eat can suck my dick. Like all you can eat, all you can eat sushi, it ain't good food, man. Or a buffet just open 24-7. You think that food's fresh? Get both of these

out of my fucking grill, dude. Dude, look, cruise is- I'm going to hide the paint right there. I apologize. That's all right. Cruise is just a place to really douse your spouse

with that chloroform a lot of people and that's even the old thing the new thing is making sinkholes and shit and hiding your wife in them but before that it was cruises two years ago everybody's you know honey I love you again and then all of a sudden you're getting the money from the company carnival was even doing some promotion

to kill your girl bring two people leave with one and you get a discount. Yeah, two for one. That makes sense. So I'm going to say all inclusive. You're kind of stuck in a place. Cruise, at least you

get to be out on the ocean. Didn't you go to college on a cruise? Didn't you get a degree at sea? Yeah, I went to college on a cruise boat for one semester. And it was great, man. Just went from port to port? Yep. Like a sailor, bro.

It was, bro. And, dude, it would be crazy. You'd go party sometimes with some of the people that worked on the ship. Like the cooks. The old scat lags. Oh, they were totally like pirates. Yeah. But girl pirates.

Boss, man, I'm fucking in this part, man. I'm fucking. What's a girl pirate's name? Oh, they were all from like Croatia or something. The women, they were really tough. Ooh, tough. Couple of tough women on there. Tough to pin down.

A lot of Filipinos too in the ship that work on different cruise ships and stuff. Did you go port to port? No, bro. I had some probably severe nervous conditions. That's how a lot of diseases spread. You know that? A lot of diseases. Sailors.

Port to port, dude. Yeah, man. We didn't do... We had a girl that lost a tooth and got knocked up by a mariachi player in... I want to say Malaysia and maybe even in Vietnam. Pretty cool. He was a mariachi player in Vietnam? So wild, huh?

How do you even meet that person? And then pull a girl. Knock your teeth out on a water slide. And then he was like, yo, let me fix your tooth. Pregnant. Yeah, let me fix your tooth with this baby. I'll put a whole nother set of teeth in your body. That might be my long lost brother.

That might be. That mariachi player might have been Kat's dad. So king it, bro. Toast to Kat's dad. 88% all inclusive. That's what everybody went with. Yeah, King it, bro. Toast to Cat's dad. 88% all-inclusive. That's what everybody went with. Yeah, cruises are weird these days. And that one was flipping over.

I saw that video. Yeah, all-inclusive. You can take some day trips. It's a little bit more relaxing, I think. I like being nustled by that boat, though. I'm going to go cruise, actually. I'm going with neither. Up next, we got Big Zeb Stewart this big Zeb big Zeb

Theo Brendan my name is Zeb my little brother Hudson got out of wrestling practice here in Lynchburg Virginia my brother just signed to wrestle at UVA on Wednesday super proud of them wow I can't wait to do well there. But maybe think of a debate club for you guys.

Which were your better years? Your high school years or your college years? Let us

know. Gangrene? Bursitis. Congrats, young man. UVA, you must be a smart

kid. They got a good team, too. Bro, yeah. And that's beautiful that man can do all of that. Hell yeah. It was high school or college? Better years. My best years are right now, son.

Yeah, right now. Not even close. High school, you're trying to figure things out. I got injured my senior year. Dreams were shattered. College, I had an afro. I got fucked over by my African-American coach because I was white. I don injured my senior year. Dreams were shattered. College, I had an afro. I got fucked over by my African-American coach because I was white. I don't know, dude.

Dreams were shattered. I kept on dreaming, though. You know what I'm saying? Dreams were shattered. You just re-dream, bro. You reshape the dream every time. I think high school... You were cool in high school?

I wasn't cool bro I was so nervous dude Yeah I used to flex my butt When I would walk sometimes That makes sense Why you have a dumper You have a dumper

I was so nervous dude I was Yeah I don't know Something was wrong with me And then College Oh college was really pretty rough College SC?

That part was The first part was probably Some of it was good. Everything was fucking good, bro. No, it wasn't though, bro. Some of it's tough, man. Yeah, some of it was tough, but I think I always focus

on the tough part. So the things that were good, dude, I used to get high and fucking go, I would get high in people's cars in my neighborhood. I would sneak in

and sit in the back of their car and get high. Just in college? And then in high school. And then one time I fell asleep in this lady's car and she fucking took me to work in the morning. She didn't even know I was in the back of her car and get high. In high school. One time I fell asleep in this lady's car and she fucking took me to work in the morning. She didn't even know I was in the very back.

Just fucking passed out, dude. She worked at a post office. I got there and I was like, fuck, did I walk home two miles? That's when I quit smoking weed. I was like, this shit's too athletic, bro. This herb is athletic. I had a good childhood, man. Grew up playing sports,

had friends. Which one did you like better, though, between high school and college? I don't know. They were both good, man. I didn't have terrible times. When I say terrible, dream, shadow, just sports. I had great friends. Great friends in high school.

Don't talk to them anymore. Great friends in college. I'm going to go high school because I had so many friends then. I did better when I was around more people. Once I got into college, I think I was just around less people. It's a little bit more yourself. You can isolate more. Once I got into that vein, man, I wasn't as great.

High school, I feel like it's really, it's exciting because everyone, you know. Yeah. No one's really a loser yet because they're trying to figure out, so everybody thinks they're going to make it. So you're all like, yeah, let's do it. Yeah. And then like three of you make it. But I mean, everybody makes it kind of. But I mean, everybody makes it.

Everybody just makes it different. It depends what you define on making it, yeah. Yeah. What do you guys think? Let's hit the culture corner. High school, huh? Dave, dog, high school was the shit. You went to college? I went to college. I just dropped out after

two and a half years. You didn't want to stick it out for another year and a half? I started doing stand-up, man. That's that real drug, bro. Stand-up. You can't go to class when you're doing that shit. Couldn't wait a year and a half to get the degree though couldn't do it bro I mean

imagine waiting a year and a half to stop doing stand up after you started doing it it's fucking hard bro it'd be tough yeah what about online have you thought about finish man

they can never take it away from you bro once you get that degree you sound like my mom dog you deserve it you should get it for yourself man I just think that you should you can still get it

yeah I could I'm also telling myself I can't I don't know if you deserve it, but you can. You're just throwing around deserve. He doesn't. He dropped out, bro. You got to earn that shit.

Dude, get off our land, buddy. Join Phoenix Online or some shit. Dude, I heard even Harvard, I think, is pretty easy to join these days online. It really is. Nicki Minaj is part of it. Dude, get a degree from Harvard, bro. Any school Nicki Minaj is fucking going to. Unless it's an ass class.

I think that, yeah, man, you should get it. Get it slow. It'd take a little time, but you should get it. It took me about 11 years, man. Yeah, it took my mom that time. It took her like nine years. She got one slow. Yeah.

Maybe. Nine years for a bachelor's degree? Nine years for a bachelor's degree, yeah. But then she went and got the master's and the doctorate like immediately after. Oh, word. You're too smart not to have it, bro. You deserve to have it. Just to have it.

Just to have it. They can never take it away from you. You don't deserve anything. I deserve it. That's a weird word to say. Why do you keep saying that, bro? Yeah, yeah. That's true.

You don't get it for free. This ain't the fucking Bernie Sanders University. You got to go get it. If he deserves to end up with a heart attack like that old fuck, you know what I'm saying, dude? Can you believe that one day if everything keeps just getting given to everybody, then it's just going to be like, oh, then everybody at college should get a degree. That's going to be a thing one day. Can you believe that?

Crazy, man. That everybody's going to have a degree? Yeah. Who's going to care? Kat, you got your bachelor's in four years like a regular student? Or were you 15, 17 years like these guys? I did community college for two years, transferred out, and took three years because USC was weird with their prerequisites. They made me take everything again. Why did you go to JUCO?

You had bad grades? No, I just didn't want to spend all the money on a university for the first two years. What JUCO? Huh? What JUCO? I ended up going to Evergreen Valley College in San Jose. Not familiar with it? Not a great school.

Shout out Bark. Isn't the Bark, what's their team name? I don't even know. They don't have a team, I think. I think it was just a bunch of 24-year-old Asian dudes, like, hey, I did it, tattoos. I didn't do it for my mom. The only thing I know about Juco is from Last Chance U.

You feel me? Gang, bro. That looks like a real shit show. Yeah. Looks like prison, but with football. Also known as the movie The Longest Yard. That Joey Diaz was in. Yeah, The Longest Yard, yeah.

Yeah. He was. All right, I think you should go back to college then, Derek. Is that the question? What's this guy asking? He was asking what you guys like better. High school is the shit, bro. High school or college?

High school because I think there's just... It's exciting, man. It's exciting, man. First time having sex if you're a normal kid, like 16, you know what I'm saying? You got a girl, you're sneaking around for some time trying drugs. A lot of old dudes trying to molest you, molester, start fucking looking over at you, bro. You know? And you get to fend them off, though. It's like...

You're at least strong enough to defend him off. Yeah, it's like Double Dragon. You ever play Double Dragon? Hell yeah. Yeah, gang shit. What else we got, Derek? Oh, man. We got up next, this is Eric. This is big Eric. Alas, we're at the debate club. Theo Vaughn,

Brandon Schaub, love the show, boys. So I think I have the first triple topic debate club. I think it's decent. All right. Hard-boiled eggs, sunny-side up,

or scrambled eggs? So I'm a fat boy at heart. I love me some sunny-side up eggs, especially for breakfast. I would love to hear what you guys like. Please let me know. Gang, gang,

buzz, buzz! Real egg fan, huh? Buzz, cuz. I love eggs, too. Buzz up, dog. I like eggs. If I think hard enough about it, though, I don't want to eat them, but I like them over medium. What is that? Over easy. So over easy is where they're real

runny. It's a mess, dude. I like over medium where that yolk's a little firmer so it doesn't get all messy. Oh, yeah. I like a fried egg as well. On a burger, bro? Come on. Not on a burger, bro. What?

No, I don't mix my beef and my bird, bro. Really? No, I was on board with the fried egg. Yeah, mixing beef and bird is wild. And, Kat, you guys put the eggs right into the rice a lot of times, don't you? Fried rice. Oh, fried rice. I was so confused for a moment.

Gang shit, bro. Yes. Everything was rice. And eggs, though. You guys are big egg fans. Yeah, it's easy. It's simple. You guys also fuck with other eggs, like Baloo.

Baloo? Yes, yes. You ever tried Baloo? I've had a Baloo. Baby chicken. Very scary to eat, man, and I would never eat it again. Did you eat the bird? Huh?

Did you eat the actual bird? I had a bite. I can't do that. I could throw up right now. You know what it is? I don't even know what it is. Educate yourself, bro. You deserve it. Google it. Yeah, it's like a... Shit is disgusting. It's basically like a little birth. It's basically an ostrich-sized fucking egg, and the bird

basically just couldn't get out and so it boiled him. Jesus. Makes me very scared right now. Chin eats those every morning. That is gross. No he doesn't. If he does bro. He's Dexter dude. He's dead to me then. I'm going to have to give him some gum before I talk to him.

That's what people eat. It's very It's so disturbing. Visceral. It's very visceral. It's so disturbing. It's very much scientific. That's one of the reasons. Sometimes I don't like the over-side-ups because they got, it's like science. Sometimes you cut into that thing and it still seems a little runny. If I think too hard about any of the egg stuff, I'm out, bro. That's why I like to go scram, but I like to mix it up.

I don't want to think too much about it, make it easy. And I used to drink them. I would drink them straight when I was back in school and in college. Dude, were you trying to get swole? Me too. I did Arnold style, bro. I used to drink them, bro. Eat half a stick of butter, dude.

I do egg whites, so I didn't fuck with that yolk. Dude, I was making my son scrambled eggs with ham. I thought, what the fuck are we doing, dude? Killing this little bird, killing this pig, mix them together. And then feet hiding it in your son's body? Crazy, dude. That's insane, bro. It's like a fucking Anne Frank of meals, bro.

God, bro. This has got to stop, man. What else we got? We got 9% went with hard-boiled, 45% sunny side, 46% went with scram. Dude, here's the other thing about hard-boiled. In my workout days when I want to get Shred City like Arnold, I, here's the thing about hard-boiled. In my workout days when I want to get Shred City like Arnold, I used to eat a bunch of hard-boiled eggs. Those things

smell like a fart. Oh, yeah. Dude, you open those up, fart. Bro. Fart. You know what I'm saying? They're disgusting. They're for senior citizens. They're for people that don't know what's going on. The chalk yolk. Tourists who eat them. People that are going on, you know, people that are, you know, like traveling out of town to swim.

People that do shit like that. I ain't fucking doing all that. I guess, bro. If you're fucking sitting there huffing a sack of them. If you want to get high, bro, you can, dude. Tone it down on the freaking huevos, papa. Yeah, yeah. What else we got, bro?

We got some relationship advice, boys. You guys need to help somebody. Haven't we helped enough people so that they don't send these in anymore? They keep sending them.

Oh, my God. We get a lot of relationship advice. I'm telling you, we helping folks, bro. What? This one is from our girl, Melissa.

Well, goddamn, girl. From Nashville. Shit, I'll... Go ahead. It's Thanksgiving, dude. I'm sorry. Here you go, girl. From Nashville. Shit, I'll eat. Go ahead. It's Thanksgiving, dude. Here you go, Brendan. I need some relationship advice.

Okay. I am 29. Young. I have sole custody of my seven-year-old son. Hell yeah. And in the past couple of years, I've dated. And the men that I've dated, they're like in their 30s. They want to commit.

They want to be responsible. They, at first, say they want all the things that I want. And then when it comes down to it, they dip. You're dating boys, honey. It's become a pattern, and I'm sick sick of it I've dated women in the past I do enjoy women However, there's something Sexually with men

I guess it's the whole Real penis thing RP RPO What should I do? Should I seek Older men In their 40s?

Should I What are you doing their 40s? Should I date women? Should I not date anyone for a while? I mean, my son isn't 18 for 11 more years. I want a companion. He wants a companion. She needs a companion. How much longer is it? 20 seconds.

Dude, she could talk all night long, put me right to sleep. Right to sleep with that. But I think we get it. She's a boner. What? You can't. Can you sleep with a boner, dude? Oh, yeah.

Right away. Wow, that's crazy, man. Impressive, right? Dude, this little fine mama hair, bro. Here's the thing. You dating boys, honey. I didn't mean to call you honey. You're dating boys, though, because if they were real men, they'd be

down with the kid, all that stuff. You're dating the wrong dudes. Says the guy with the turkey on his head. I'm going to go. It's Thanksgiving, bro. I'm thankful for fine-ass moms like this doing the damn thing, dude. Oh my God, bro. Dude, just because you look sweet as Abe Lincoln,

I'm wearing this stupid cock hat, doesn't give you the right. I'm a smart boy. I'm fucking babe thinking, dog. These bitches know what's up, bro. Four scores and seven grams ago. That's good, bro. Keep touching me, bro. Damn, dude.

Wow, Brendan fucking hitting hard at the end of the year. Let's go. Let's go. Here's what I'm saying, young lady, is you got that offspring, okay? You got that beautiful offspring. You already know your body can work. You can do magic with that ovary. So what I'm saying is this.

Get out there. Take some time off and see what you really want. Make a little chart. See what you want. She knows, bro. She wants a man. She doesn't know. She's asking us. She wants a companion because she's saying she's dating these dudes. They sound like they want the same thing she does. A family and the whole enchilada. Then they dip out. When it's

finally time to commit with her and the kid, they dip out. She's like, dude, I'm dating these 30-year-olds. Should I date older men, 40s? Yeah, she doesn't know. That's what I'm saying. She doesn't know. So she's asking us if she should date older men or women or what should she do? Older women.

Yeah. I'm with Derek. Chime in here, Derek. No, dude. And you be quiet and listen to why. No, I need that turkey in your mouth. Derek, you want sleepy meat Derek. Oh, dude. And you be quiet and listen to why. Now I need that turkey in your mouth. Derek, you want sleepy meat? Go with older women.

Come on. Talk about it, Derek. You want that tropopene. She needs a 45-year-old strong woman named Barbara. Take care of the kid. Nah, bro. Take care of her. That's what she needs.

She needs that turkey. That barbarian, baby. That's what I'm saying. You're going to get it. Go to Barb. Nah, hell no. Get you a real 30-something-year-old who has his shit together, likes kids, has Disney Plus, and bust. Look, there's nothing.

They're out there, girl. What city is she in? Nashville. Nashville. Ooh, I love Nashville. Look, stay confident. I'll say that. There's nothing more attractive to any type of man than a real confident woman, and it

makes you not want to just, like, a woman like that that's a hard worker that's confident that has her own stuff going on I think a man can see that he's not just going to put one over on that lady. Yeah and also dudes out there fucking with this this milf don't waste their time man she has kids. And keep you yeah keep your crotch in your pocket too

until something real happens. Yeah it's just going to be Disney plus no bust you little busters. Yeah so I would just stick to something real happens. Yeah, it's just going to be Disney Plus. No bust, you little busters. Yeah, so I would just stick to something real chill. But girl, you're already checking all the box. You fine as fuck. You're a good mom. You tatted up. You got the nose piercing, set of lips.

You speak well. Bisexual. Oh, dude, I forgot about that. You guys are disgusting. Theo, dude, what are you doing, bro? I'm trying to help this woman out, Brendan. Just saying. If you need a companion, dude.

And you're over here trying to freaking be another problem for this lady, okay? You're showing up with a turkey on your head. I'm trying to take her mind off her problems. Boy, you got a turkey on your head, okay? A little turkey. Gobble, gobble, gravy, gravy, baby. You're trying to show up with that head, bird, and fucking rattle this lady's cage, bro. That's all you're trying to do, right? Yeah, bro. Scramble them eggs, son. You got bird on your brain, baby. You trying to show up with that head bird and fucking rattle this lady's cage, bro. That's all you're trying to do, right? Yeah, bro.

Scramble them eggs, son. You got bird on your brain, son. Look, lady, you're going to be fine. Just keep dating and one day you'll find a prince, right? Yeah, stay off that gravy, baby. Yeah, you know what they say? You got to eat a lot of frog to get a prince. Preach, dog. I feel like

we helped her, bro. She's an attractive mama. Gosh, she was. Damn. Up next, guys, a little chide my ride real quick. A little chide my ride. I totally forgot about this thing. No more boathouses either, man.

If one more bastard sent in a damn boathouse. I agree, dude. I'm seeing these fucking car boats. Yeah, quit sailing your house around. Up first, this is Michelle Barge from Kelowna, Canada. Kelowna, Canada? Damn, that's hard. Zoom in on her for me for a second. Got it. Let me see what she's working on.

Brendan. It's about the ride, bro. I gotta see the owner. Okay, clearly a snowboarder. Snowboarder. She can snowboard right into this heart. Jesus Christ, what is happening take that double black diamond straight to my veins girl damn bro damn bro michelle is a er

nurse hell yeah bjj blue belt what's the third j for what's the second j for brazilian ju jitsu Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Oh. Well, disappointed. That's awesome. She seems like a really attractive lady that's doing something positive. She's outdoors in this video, in this image. She's clearly a big Jurassic Park fan with the Jurassic Park logo on the car. Here's my question. Now, you're a straight-up dying piece, girl, but here's my question. Are you all there upstairs?

And also, I'm going to judge you based off what Jurassic Park did you paint this in? Is it the first ones, which I fucks with, or is it the new ones where the guy who is in Gardens of the Galaxy is beating up the raptors? You feel me? Yeah, the new ones. If it's that one, that shit's weak. The new one's just Jumanji with some fucking edits, bro. Yeah, bro. Without the rock.

Yeah, let's be rational. And here's the thing. This car is a beautiful piece. And if you drive this and do a crime or do anything, the cops are going to stop you. But you're in that Jurassic Park vehicle. From what we can see, there's two spare tires on one side. That's the most savage shit I've ever seen. That's a great point.

That's a car that says, fuck, we ain't going to make it, so let's see what else is popular. Here's the other thing. You got the spoiler. Take that off. Probably not needed. And you got the bra on the front. When you got that paint, no one gives a fuck if you protect the paint. Go ahead and take the bra off.

Let the tits out the front, girl. Spoiler alert. This thing's a piece of shit. This thing should be extinct, bro, like the fucking dinosaurs. Move on. Bro, I'd put the spoiler right on the front, bro. That's what I would do, man. Why doesn't anybody do the spoiler on the front? Yeah, that's a terrible idea.

I'd spoil her, though. Good lord. She's a snowboarder, huh? Is that a tattoo on her neck? Ooh, yes, sir, it is. Well, that's on her collarbone, but I think there's one on her neck, too. You see that? Ooh, you're going sizzler. What does that mean? And she has a dinosaur shirt on?

That's a little baby Veloso wrapped around her chin. Those are dinosaur pants. She's a nurse, man. Beautiful women. A lot of beautiful women nursing. Oh, nothing better than a nurse, man. Takes care of you. Obviously likes people, caring.

And if you die, she could be right there and put that sheet over you. Hell yeah. Or she'd give you CPR, son. Mm-hmm. I'd choke on a fucking animal cracker to see her, you know what I'm saying? Do what? Nope. Not faking death to meet a woman. It's called the sandlot,

baby. It is? Oh yeah, respect, bro. Forever. What else you got? Up next, we got, this is our boy, Enrique Shockwave. Oh, wow. He seems nice. Wow.

Ooh. I'm going to look and I'm going to like it. Enrique's a bad boy, guys. 1980. This is 1980 El Mercedes. He needed a truck, but he couldn't afford one. So I turned my Benz into an El Camino. Gang, bro.

And you got to respect Latin culture right here, man. And I'm just going to assume, I am assuming that Enrique is Latino. I think that's fair. Our boy's Mexican as shit. That Mercedes, bro. This guy has a wood panel rear of a truck, fabricated himself, a back of a truck that he fabricated himself, attached to a 1980, you said, Mercedes? Yes, sir, 1980. LS, wow.

Here's the thing. He cut the trunk off this Mercedes and then extended the back like a truck hitch. It's pretty sick. Yo, if you could imagine. Dude, he's the Mexican Steve Jobs. I'd give this guy a job right now. Yeah. We need another asshole around here.

This is amazing, man. I've never seen anything like this. Me neither, dude. Look at that paneling. Look how perfect it is. Yeah, how's it not way down the fucking car? Yeah. What can he put back there?

Anything he wants, dude. Cantaloupes, watermelons. Melons, yeah. Why do you guys keep saying fruit because you're Mexicans? No, stacks of humans. Speakers. You know what I mean? You can go up to Home Depot.

Homies jumping in. Anle, anle. They fucking pile in that bitch. Speakers. Ch know what I mean? You can go up to Home Depot. Homies jumping in. Andle, andle. They fucking pile in that bitch. Speakers. Chicharrones. Camarones. Tomatitos. Tamales.

Yes. Queso. Niños. Hermanos. We said cantaloupe. Yaves. Bananas. Bananas.

Banana. Yeah, I don't know any more right now. Neither. Salt. Chili powder. Yeah, yeely. Tabasco. It's not chili, it's yeely.

Yeely powder. Yeely powder. Tabasco. Yeely powder, though. Yeely powder. Yeely powder, bro. Yeely. You look so bad with that turkey on your head.

The feet keep swinging. Dude, that turkey looks good, dude. Yeah, does it look sick? I think so. Let me see the back of it. Dude, you look like Abe Lincoln. Oh, yeah, the back looks dope. Is it sick?

Yeah, you look like a geisha girl kind of. You think that MILF is going to see this and holler? Oh, yeah, bro. If she's into lesbians, this will do it. You look like Butterball, man. Or like Butterballs. But yeah, you look tasty, bro. You look like something I'd put in that crisper drawer.

You look like Melissa Etheridge right now. Where's your guitar? Dude, come to my window, bro. Come to my window. I'll be home soon. Does she she also think i drive a fast car nope same shit same shit just white girl tracy chapman black tracy chapman's black she's black i knew i liked her music yeah that's what she sounds she's black? I knew I liked her music. She's black? Let me see. How black?

She looks pretty black to me from the cover of that album. Melissa Etheridge is so white. Melissa, yeah. She's black as fuck. She's Whoopi Goldberg, dog. That's Whoopi, dog. Damn, she can sing. What's she doing these days?

She's so unique. You drive a fast car. I drive fast and speed in the light. You're going to get a ticket. She looks like Leslie Jones here. Sometimes you listen to that song, you want to cry, dude. Yeah, you're right, man. We're going to love this episode, dude, aren't we?

Huh? It's Thanksgiving, man. It's Thanksgiving to love this episode, dude, aren't we? Huh? It's Thanksgiving, man. It's Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for Tracy Chapman. I'm thankful for Tracy Chapman. I'm thankful for... Steven Spielberg. I'm thankful for Steven Spielberg. I'm thankful for video games.

I'm thankful that my eyes work. I'm thankful that they have outdoors and indoors. I'm thankful that they have outdoors and indoors. I'm thankful that... I'm thankful for Asians who get bowls of rice and then eat outdoors like a barbecue, but they're eating bugs.

Chin. What else, man? I'm thankful for almost everything. I'm trying to be. What else we got here? I'm thankful for our moms. I'm thankful for our dads. I'm still thinking be. What else we got? I'm thankful for our moms. I'm thankful for our dads. I'm thankful for that mom who's also into chicks.

Nice lady. Seemed like a nice woman. I'm thankful for nose piercings. They're sexy, dude. They are sexy, man. I feel like you could pull off a nose piercing. Really? I'd look like a bull. You'd look like Melissa Etheridge. Dude, I would have to work in a field

on all four of my legs if I got my nose pierced. Exactly. What else we got? We got some king of their stinging. Up first, this is Sean Donovan. Big Sean. Sean Don. Hey, Tommy. Hey, Brian. I got a king of their stinging for you. Tommy and Brian.

Big fan of Applebee's, Chili's, those types of places. Just want to know what you guys thought Also Theo you look like the live rendition of Stuart Little And Brendan you look like John Travolta In Hairspray That's hilarious What did he say Theo looks like?

Theo looks like the live version of Stuart Little That mouse bro That circus mouse It's hilarious It mouse, bro. That circus mouse. John Twelton hears things. It's hilarious. It's going to be a circus mouse. Chain restaurants. I don't really like them myself, but I have to go if I'm on the road.

Let me tell you something. The go-to will blow your goddamn mind. TGI Fridays. Dude, their rack of ribs comes correct. I've been all over this goddamn beautiful nation Trying barbecue TGI Fridays, dude And the sampler platter

You're having yourself a good old night You're going to shit your pants in the hotel But it's fun while you're doing it, bro You're not going to come correct You're going to be a D-plus student If you come and correct with chilies And they're magical, whatever that's TGI Fridays

I want my baby, my baby, my Chili's. Remember that? Dude, I auditioned for that commercial, and it got down to me and two other dudes. No way. And I didn't get it. Yeah. Damn, barbecue sauce.

That's a big one. They're like, can you sing it? And I couldn't tell the difference between singing and saying something. I couldn't figure it out at the moment. And I was like, Chili's, baby back ribs. Yeah, I wouldn't give you that, bro. Wow. Yeah, no shit you didn't get, bro.

My brain, bro. My brain hit a U-turn or something where it got cul-de-sac-ing, bro. I was cul-de-sac-ing up top. In that audition, bro. You were in that U-turn. And I'm like, that's great. Just sing it for us. We need you to sing it.

And you just couldn't do it. Chili's! Baby! Back! Ribs! Ribs! Sounds like you're Bruce Buffer announcing a fucking rack of ribs. Let's get ready to ribs!

Chili's! Baby! Back! Ribs! In's get ready to ribs. Chili's. Baby back ribs. In the right corner. Oh, man. In my own corner back at my house. That's where I ended up. This is what happened here, bro. This man is asking about this.

I think I'm going to go with. Chain restaurants in general. TGI Fridays put all that. Once they went Jack Daniels on everything, I was out, bro. No, that's out, bro. You're confusing them with Chili's, bro. I know you didn't get the commercial, but don't get it twisted. Also, another chain, Hooters.

Have some crispy wings. Stare at tits. Boom. Nice little parlay of a day. Also, Outback Steakhouse. My grandma passed away. We used to go there. I'd get a nice little Eight ounce sirloin

And she would steal The steak knives Really? Yeah every time What? I was young man Oh that's beautiful man I love picturing that

Older woman putting Knives in her purse She'd always put it And go can we get Some more knives And they'd never figure it out Like where the fuck You think all these knives

Just me and my grandma You've dropped Seven knives off Melt them down Make a sword at home. Yeah, we had a ton of them. If I got to go to a chain restaurant, bro, I'll go to McDaniel's, bro, in the middle of the night, dog.

Give me two of them cheeseburgers, bro. That's fast food. Okay, okay. I'm not sitting down having a meal talking to your friends. I'll go to freaking Chili's, bro. I don't mind going to Applebee's, but I don't really like to. Oh, Applebee's out. Are they out of business?

No, they're still in. The neighborhood friendly, whatever the fuck it's called? Yeah. Do you remember Bennigan's? Ooh, Bennigan's. Yeah. Yeah, they're out. Bennigan's is out. Yeah, eventually they all fold, man. I'll go to a Perkin. I'll go to a Chili.

I'll go to Chili's. Marie Callender's. See ya. Because all they made was fucking pies, all the goddamn pies. Pies are good. Pies are a seasonal thing, bro. Not for some people. Ooh, Thanksgiving. You with that apple?

Or you with that pumpkin? Pumpkin. Yeah, hell yeah. You put a little whipped cream on top? Yeah. I feel like as I get a little bit older, I get that pumpkin. Here's something. Apples for children.

Now I'm older? Yeah, apples for fucking bitches. Now that I'm older, though, dude, you know what I do? I get a nice pecan pie, a nice robust coffee. Dude, pecan pie and coffee, that's that old man gang shit, dude. I'm robe, nuts hanging out the front, pecan pie. Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. What kind of pie do you guys like? I don't eat pie. What? You don't eat pie? I don't like sweets like that. This sounds like Brendan on a bad day. What kind of pie do you guys like? You like pie?

No way, dude. I like sweet potato. Ooh, I like that. I like watching a woman eat a potato, bro. That shit fucking gets me. That shit gets me. You talking like a baked potato or that kind of? No, I'm talking any type. That pointy sweet me. That shit gets me. You talking like a baked potato or that kind of that pointy

sweet potato? Those sweet potatoes are volt. You know what I'm saying, bro? I just realized my penis looks just like a sweet potato, dude. Dude, mine too. My shit looks like a yam. Yeah. I got that yam, dick. Let me see some long yams. Can you Google long

yams, Derek? Make sure they're the purple ones. We're not talking about the yellow ones, man. I don't know what you got down there, bro. Long yams in skin. Can you put in skin? There we go. That's that yam right there, bro. No, no, no, no, no. Not with the dots all over it. The purple shit. No, no, no, no. The purple ones, bro.

Yeah. That's my shit right there, bro. Yeah, my's my shit right there, bro. Yeah, my shit looks like a newborn gerbil laying down. That's what it looks like, bro. My shit looks like a shaved rat chilling with his friends in the sun, bro. Wow. Wow. Damn, bro. I never realized that.

Thank you so much, Kat. I never realized that my whole life. I've always been looking at my penis and I'm like, what does this remind me of? I'm glad to help. And it is a yam. A thick sweet'm glad to help and it is a yam a thick sweet potato bro and it is a yam brother praise God

hell yeah thank you what else we got man our last one boys this is Jared Nap Big Jared VL Brendan

what up guys this is Jared in Northern California what's up Jake and we're out here golfing today beautiful Las Positas golf course.

I got a king it or sting it for you. Apparently World War II behind them. Get fucked up with the boys as you're golfing. I got these guys out here. Those boys are, those boys are toasted. They faded. Oh, damn. His boys are toasted. Hey, Fader. Oh, damn. Oh, nice little swing on you. Let me know what you think.

Gang, gang, hole in one. Mulligan, Mulligan, baby. Buzz, buzz, Mulligan, Mulligan. I like golfing. You can't really drink, so it might be boring for you. But when you can drink, like I used to do this charity event every year. Only time I played golf, me and my brother, because they'd have alcohol at every hole, we would get blessed. It was so much fun.

You don't care about the game. You're just hitting. It's fun. Dude, I broke up with a girl one time, golfing or drinking all day with a buddy. Broke up with my girlfriend, and she actually left. On the course? Yeah, and she left. By the time I got back home, I was just bawling my eyes out that she had left. Oh, wait. She was just like, oh, I'm out. Yeah. She's like, fine. Then I'm fucking out. I the course? Yeah, and she left by the time I got back home. I was just bawling my eyes out that she had left.

Oh wait, she was just like, oh, I'm out. Yeah. She's like, fine, then I'm fucking out. And I was like, oh fuck. By the time I got back, I was just drunk and dumb and then I realized, shit, I really wanted her, but How long ago was that? This was probably about 11 years ago, but everything is okay, but It sounds like the one that

got away. No, no, no, no. Right for the best. Why did you guys break up? Because I fucking called her drunk from a fucking golf course and didn't spend any time with her. But also, she, I probably, there's something, who knows what happened. But what I'm saying is this. If you're out drinking with your friends, yeah, get somebody drunk. Beat somebody with a club.

Drive one of those little carts into a fucking lake, bro. There's no reason they put the lakes and the carts out there if they don't want a little bit of controversy. Okay? Agreed. Drive that bitch in there. There's water everywhere. Every golf course, bro. Most of it's going to cost you $1,100, bro.

If you can afford it, fucking skrrt. Wheel that bitch right on there. Go looking for a shark, bro. Yeah, get a six-pack. Get your own balls,100, bro. If you can afford it, fucking... It's worth it, bro. Go looking for a shark, bro. Yeah, get a six-pack. Get your own balls down there, man. There's a million balls at the bottom of those fucking ponds, too, dude. Bro, choke your fucking friend out and hide that bitch in a pond, bro. Hell yeah.

You know what I'm saying, dude? Go to that next level. There's no way when men are out there with clubs, somebody hasn't hit somebody and put them into one of those things. They should go look into these. It's in our DNA. Also, bro, mix it up. Play a little Russian roulette. Play when there's lightning outside. Yeah.

You hit a ball in the air, your buddy gets to shoot it down with a gun. Yeah. Now we're talking golf, boy. Now we're talking Viet golf. So let's take a chance at some real action, bro. Yeah, dude. Get drunk with your buddies. Tiger Woods it. Get drunk with your buddies, take a chance at some real action bro yeah dude get drunk with your buddies

Tiger Woods get drunk with your buddies take a bunch of pills fuck some girls I wouldn't even fuck some girls because it's just you and these dudes out there so that's not going to end well

well that's what Tiger Woods does bro yeah that's true but he's a champion if you're just some guy who's just meeting up with his buddy he's not going to want to hear about wanting to fuck

and everything if he's trying to do golf nah there's some of those tireless bunny hoppers roaming around who do you think's bringing the beer, bro? They're always dying. He's pulling up.

You boys thirsty? Hell yeah, girl. And you always got Snickers and Fritos, Bud Light. Yeah. God, it's fun. It is fun being such a glutton just cruising out there. Next thing you know, you've had like 30 beers and nine Twixes. Yeah, you're in a stupid little cart.

Really not that dangerous. Tips over, you don't give a fuck. The best is when it tips over. Hell yeah. Oh, it's fun that dangerous. Tips over. You don't give a fuck. The best is when it tips over. Hell yeah. Oh, it's fun, man. Hell yeah. Shout out to golf.

Yeah. That's it today, boys. That went fast, man. Thanksgiving, man. Thanksgiving, dog. Life goes fast when you're thankful for stuff. Yeah. We got to stay thankful, man.

We do, man. Be nice to each other out there and toast someone on me and Theo, man. Toast somebody. Tell your buddy how much he means to you. Yeah, toast somebody. See what it leads to. Yeah, send us a couple toast videos, too. Yeah, toast your buddies and tell us why you did it. Yeah, toast somebody you care about.

Toast somebody. Toast your girl. Toast your mom. Toast your cat. Toast your dog. Toast anybody. Toast somebody that you don't even know. Hell, yeah. Toast a stranger andast somebody that you don't even know. Hell yeah.

Toast a stranger and film it for us. Yeah, man. Toast a peeping Tom next time he's at your window. Don't shut that dude down. Pour a beer. Yes, maybe he's just needing somebody to talk to. He's just going creepy ways about it. Toast your stripper, dude.

Think she just wants money from you? Nah, say thanks. Yeah, say hey, look. Thanks for twerking those cheeks in my face. Yeah, thanks for- No one really says thanks. Yeah, thanks for, look. Thanks for twerking those cheeks in my face. Yeah, thanks for- No one really says thanks. Yeah, thanks for being somebody. You know?

Toast your pastor, dude. Yeah. Give him a shot of vodka. Yeah, I think, yeah. Thank you guys for watching King in the Sting and for checking it out. Yes, happy Thanksgiving. I am in Borgata, New Jersey, December 14th. One night only. Ba-ba-baby.

Ba-ba-baby. And I might be December 6th at the La Jolla Comedy Store on a Thursday night. Might do a pop-up down there. Oh, I'm there, dog. You are? Well, I'm there December, I think. 19th, 2021. La Jolla Comedy Store, dude.

Trying to get froggy. Drive down to San Diego, bro. Man, I might. I might. San Diego's one of my favorite spots. Yeah, 2021. La Jolla Comedy Store, dude. Trying to get froggy. Drive down to San Diego, bro. Man, I might. I might. San Diego's one of my favorite spots. Yeah, man. It's where you do your special at. Yeah, I love it down there, man.

Thanksgiving, man. We need a bunch of pie. I didn't mean to interrupt you. No, you're good. Otherwise, yeah, I'm trying to think. I don't know. I'll be in Lafayette, Louisiana, December 26th. And I'll be December 10th at Los Angeles at the Wiltern.

Dude, I'm in your hometown next year. New Orleans? New Orleans. No way. Really? There's a theater out down there. Yeah. Wow.

I know. Huh. That's crazy, man. I haven't been there to perform in a long time. I got to go. I know. I think you're in Kansas City, too, December 6th and 7th. First week of December.

Yeah. Nice. I'm all over of December. Nice. I'm all over, man. Well, turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie. Be nice to each other. Buzz, buzz. That turkey got me tired, man. Stuff, stuff, baby.

Gang, gang. You guys be good. Appreciate you too, man. Thankful for you. Thankful for you, boys.