The Golden Hour - Episode 51: Christmas Special

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

The gang takes part in the first KATS White Elephant Christmas Exchange and talk Favorite Christmas Movies, Favorite Xmas Songs, San Diego at Night, Stem Cell Gifts, DidgeriDon'ts, All New J-Rod Christmas Debate, Real vs Fake Christmas Trees, Sippable Tits, Vintage Latino Voices, GI-Greg, Asian Eggnog, Mexican Christmas Carols and much more! *Side note, we'll be taking a short break in the new year but we'll be back with exciting ALL NEW episodes starting Thursday 1/23!1. Postmates - download the app and use code KATS20192. Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/kats3. Honey - https://joinhoney.com/kats4. My Bookie - https://mybookie.ag/ Use Code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

back off my broccolini get your life together don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude city sidewalks i smell love hummus hummus huh yeah bro it's that time of season Hummus Hummus, huh? Yeah, bro, it's that time of season Smell your hands, huh? Smells of love You filthy animals, remember that?

I don't City sidewalks What's your guys' favorite Christmas song? Huh? Silent night That was the worst one, yeah? The stars are brightly shining That one makes me feel so lonely doing them by myself

Me too, dude You know what it reminds me of? Jesus Christ Kevin in Home Alone when he's by himself eating and that man is petting those birds boo that bird man yeah that bird i mean it was a girl but yeah you know the the pigeon bitch yeah that's what it wasn't a girl in the new one it's a girl i guess no no the one you're talking about uh home alone 2 new york city and kevin referred to as the pigeon bitch damn did he really yeah That was his only friend.

Dang, dude. I think you got a bootleg version. I might have. Someone did walk by the screen. Kevin! The worst parents ever. Forgotten, what, twice? Yeah, three times, I think. Do they have a traditional Vietnamese Christmas song

do you know? Traditional Vietnamese? No. Christmas isn't that big over in vietnam what is a big holiday there uh chinese new year oh wow which we just call vietnamese new year or new year and when is that uh it changes from every i think four years it's on a february but it's usually sometime in january that's confusing based on the lunar calendar and they um do does everybody enjoy it or is it yeah it's the best time you gamble you drink you eat you hang out with your family if you're not married you get money oh wow yeah you start giving money to uh people in your family after you've been married so as long as you're not married you just keep receiving money keep rolling in that money probably staying

single for quite some time in the family catch that bag yeah hell yeah that's how you do it lonely year dad thank you bankroll pj out here son oh yeah well happy uh merry christmas to you man merry christmas as the As the new PC cult says, happy holidays. Yeah, and I don't say that and I say Merry Christmas. Me too, I say Merry Christmas. That's what I say.

It's horrible. Derek? Yeah? What are you... Christmas songs? I like the black version of This Christmas. This Christmas.

Yeah, you get it. Just that Luther Vandross remix. Yeah, that shit's crunk. That shit's crunk. You were doing the Seinfeld interlude, I feel like. Yeah, that was weird. That was weird. Dude, I like your Christmas sweater.

Thanks, man. You got it for me. Yeah, I knew you'd like it. And yours looks good, man. It's you on the front? I wish, but no. That's the gingerbread man with icing, and he put abs on himself. So it's kind of me reaching out for help to get on a diet. You look like my drunk aunt, though.

You look fresh, dude. You look fresh as fuck, dude. Oh, yeah. Put me under the mistletoe, dude. Hell, yeah. I'm that lesbian aunt that's always lurking under the mistletoe, you know? Always giving out uggs. Yep, got you this.

Got you a pool stick. Why'd you give me a pool stick, Aunt Marge? Got you another scarf. Thanks, Marge. That lesbian aunt's always crazy. She always gets you something for a dog. You don't even have a dog. She's like, I got this for your puppy. She always gets you something for a dog. You don't even have a dog. And she's like, I got this for your puppy.

She always gets you that shitty gift. Oh, thanks for the model of the Subaru Outback. I'm sure I'll play with this. Thank you. Oh, that's a wild one, man. And we have gifts here today, too. We got everybody brought in something for the white elephant. So it's pretty cool.

White elephant, it's random. You don't know what you're going to keep. Is that how it works? Dudes, whoever gets my gift, enjoy. Really? Enjoy. That's all I'm going to say. We just spent under $20.

We did? Yeah. Oh, good. Now, mine's the blue on the front, okay? And so it's covered by chips because I don't want you to be able to see inside. Oh, really? But the crazy part is you ate some of those chips on the way in. I ate most of them so you can kind of see what's in there.

Just don't look. And we got Nick and Chin in, too. How are you guys doing? No, where's Chin at? Is that Chin dressed as Santa? Wow. Oh, wow. Man, did you steal that from Tim Allen?

You look fantastic. Yeah, dude. You look like the Chin chinnies new year hell yeah dude happy new year and uh nick looks like uh if they did bad santa 4 with uh with billy bob thornton as an elf yeah i could see how let me see oh yeah dude my favorite part of bad santa is when he's eating that salad. He's just a royal fuck-up. She goes, do you mind if my kid?

He goes, I'm fucking eating it. And it sprays all over in himself. Yeah, Nick looks like he would be in Million Dollar Baby. Isn't that Billy Bob Thornton in that? No. That's Hilary Swank. Oh, never mind. Never mind, you don't. Okay. That Billy Bob Thornton in that? Ah, no That's Hilary Swank Oh, never mind Similar Never mind, you don't Okay

That Billy Bob We had a lot of shitty Christmas movies Yeah, we watched Million Dollar Baby on Christmas Eve together as a family Dude, Batman Returns is a Christmas movie Great Christmas movie Is it? I think it's a Christmas movie Greatest Christmas movie of all time

Family Man with Nicolas Cage Have you seen it? think it's christmas movie greatest christmas movie all-time family man with nicholas cage have you seen it oh that's so good dude how about when they're at the mall and he goes to get that fancy suit she's like what the fuck we can't afford this yeah this guy need this suit she's like fine get it he's like fuck yeah that movie's heartfelt then he chases her down in the airport i air in the airport yeah he's like we gotta have a house in Jersey. We have a house in Jersey. We have two kids. Annie and Josh. Annie and Josh. Yeah, that's right. And it's not ours, but in 227 more payments, it will be

ours. Hey, how about when they're getting all hot and heavy? And she's all, tell me what I want to hear. He goes, you're so fucking hot, baby. She's like, real nice. He said the wrong thing. Yeah. And then she gl. You said the wrong thing. Yeah. And then she glows up the stairs by herself. Yeah.

Did you have the one where, remember the next door neighbor is always trying to fuck him? She's bad as fuck. And Jeremy Pivens is boying it. And he's like, dude, you can't fuck her. You have the perfect relationship. He's like, I'm definitely going to. Yeah. Did you have the bootleg version when he actually goes and fucks her? There's not that version.

Yeah. I had that one, dude. He really drives it home. What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Did you have the bootleg version when he actually goes and fucks her? There's not that version. Yeah, I had that one, dude. He really drives it home. What? Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, dude. It really made me think differently about the film now. I loved that film, but I'm not going to see that version and I am going to watch it this year with my family. What are you guys

going to watch? I love Elf. I'm a classic, man. Over and over and over, Doug. Every time. You sound like you're feeling better than last week, man. A little better. Are you? I'm alive. You look better. How was La Jolla? Good? Great.

Yeah? Favorite club. Thanks for coming. Favorite club. Fucking bastard. What was it? Any crazy people come out, or what was the vibe? I mean, San Diego people, Republican, they're rich, but they come to party.

Yeah, they're rich. They're old white people, but they come to fucking party. I always say, don't go out after dark in San Diego unless you're looking for a fight. Really? Oh, dude. Military, college boys, and fighters. Yeah. Mix that in.

That's down there. Have a good time. Yeah. That's down there by the beach, though. PB, baby. PB City. Pacific Beach. Pacific Beach.

Yeah. I love it now. La Jolla, isn't it? You can't find anything. You can't even find a breeze out after probably about 7.45 p.m. No, it's the subs up there, suburbs. I could live there, man. If I'd have to be in L.A., I'd live there.

100%. Yeah, it's relaxing over there. From San Diego, Oklahoma. I'm in Oklahoma this weekend. Are you? Oklahoma and Tulsa. After Christmas? Yeah, bro.

Wow. So I just pay for these goddamn toys. You feel me? You're working hard. What kind of toy would you get your kid? A fucking jetliner So I just pay for these goddamn toys. You feel me? You're working hard. What kind of toy would you get your kid? A fucking jetliner? I got a Mercedes Benz. You have a Benz and the payments are not cheap.

What'd you get the newborn? His own stem cells? That's expensive. Actually, I have a timeshare in Cabo. Oh, wow. Well, that'd be interesting interesting that's good though we don't want to get any of these white elephants or what do we do you want to say that for the end that's what we had we had to say for the end we do it's up for you it's up to you guys yeah we can say it for them that's

fine i can't think man my brain's tired your brain's tired yeah the holidays will get you bro i know what is how about Jews? Eight days of this. Oh, God. How'd they do it? Eight crazy nights. Shout out to Adam Sandler. Eight crazy nights. And what do they do at night?

Party or what? Party every night. And you get one gift every night. Now, my girl's Mexican, so they celebrate. They do everything on Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah. The whites, we do it Christmas morning. So it's a real conflict of interest in the show household. Is it?

Oh, yeah. They want to do everything on Friday night, you know? I don't know what every fucking Christmas is. We like doing it in the morning, actual Christmas. Oh, yeah. My dad would cook French toast. We'd open up all our gifts one at a time. One at a time.

Mexicans do. I don't know. They open up all the gifts. Really? Yeah, and it's just chaos. Jesus Christ, though. There's fucking churros. There's fucking tamales everywhere. one of the mexicans do they open up all the gills really yeah and it's just chaos juros there's fucking tamales everywhere

yeah chaos dude what yeah and there's like animals and stuff too mules sure the manger that's what i like what's that the manger it's where jesus was a baby yes it's like

where he spent like a good bit of his childhood met a camel there is that a movie or what's that the manger it's where jesus was a baby yes it's like where he spent like a good bit of his childhood met a camel there is that a movie or three dudes showed up out there bro it's basically like an episode of um uh no what's that thing where chris hansen catch predator to catch a predator it's like the earliest to catch a predator dude what do you think chris hance is doing on christmas not catching gifts you think nah no one getting that dude again i don't know man somebody's getting him something he has a son he has two sons oh does he one of them's a newscaster nbc's not getting many gifts he hasn't actually yeah i don't know what he's doing i don't know

he caught a lot of bad guys i guess and some And some guys that seemed okay, I think. Some guys just got caught up in the game. Some guys. It could happen to anybody. Some of them are like, I get it, dude. Trying to keep the lights on. Man alive. You never know if you're going to know somebody whenever you're out and about. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

Dude, listen, if you want eggnog at four in the afternoon this holiday season, I know somebody can bring it to you. Don't call me anymore to drop off your eggnog, bro. It becomes all lukewarm, half drank. I like it. I like it, especially if when you ride over, you let the thing warm up between your legs while you're driving. Yeah, that's what I try to do, dude. Keep it a little warm for you, bro.

I noticed that, dude. But I can't be doing that anymore. You got to start using Postmates. It's your personal food delivery grocery delivery whatever kind of delivery service all year round really whatever you're craving postmates can deliver 24 hours a day 365 days a year even on christmas postmates will bring you what you need within an hour everything what if i want meat or fish you name a dude get some eggnog with a side of filet mignon whatever you want download the app on your

apple or android for free browse local restaurants and businesses you can track your delivery in real time give them a deal dude it's christmas be cool all right all right i'll hit you with this deal deal deal for a limited time postmates is giving cats $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days. Wow. Excuse me. Anything you need, anytime you need it, Postmates it. Download Postmates and save with the code K-A-T-S-2-0-1-9. Yep, that's code K-A-T-S-2-0-1-9 for $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app.

Anything you need, anytime you need it, Postmates it. Download Postmates and save with code CATS2019. Dude, what do I seem like? I've been running fast or doing something? Yeah, you just look super. You're glowing. You've just been glowing your energies through the roof. Well, it's two reasons.

One, I drank part of a glow stick, dude, that they have at those electric. When you crack them? Oh, yeah. Did you get out of rave? Huh? Did you get out of rave? I got it outside of a r a glow stick dude you know that they have it uh like there's electric crack them oh yeah did you get out of rave huh did you get out of rave i got it outside of a rave that makes sense a used one and dude i wouldn't say it's not good but it's not bad but also because i've been taking athletic green i knew there was a secret dude yeah the one thing health experts dietitians and athletes and top performers agree on is that a perfect diet, that ain't real. Even with a balanced, healthy diet, it can be tough to cover your nutritional bases through food alone. So everyone's like, dude, what up with the greens?

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Well, should we open the gifts? I'm just wondering what do we do here? Get us into some stuff, Derek. We got some Christmas questions. Oh, yeah. This is Connor Jones from Ontario, Canada. Oh, dude. What about Scrooge?

Oh, Scrooge is good. And Miracle on 34th Street? Oh, it's a classic. I don't know. You like Nash Lampoon's Christmas? I haven't seen it. Oh, yeah. That is good.

Is that the one where the grandmother dies? Yeah, but remember he gets that check and he thinks it's going to be a bonus? Oh, yeah. They're all sad. And he gives them a grocery certificate. And his uncle's like, well, Clark. Yep.

Well, Clark. Well, Clark. You're going to be fine. Yep. Yep. Yep. And then the uncle goes down there and tells the guy what to do and to treat him right.

Oh, no, he kidnaps him. Puts tape on his mouth and he gives him a bonus. That what i missed dude you know that old polish surprise party dude fucking kidnapping somebody hell yeah that's what i fucking missed that italian christmas job yeah fuck yeah you guys ready yeah let's hear it hold up pause it for a second. Pause it. Dude, he looks identical to the bad guy from Incredibles. When the little dude grows up, he looks spot on. Really? Yes. The kid from the Incredibles.

Incredibles what? Just the movie. I'm thinking Launchables. Those were nice, too. Never gave me enough, though, as a child. Oh, you got to have two or three of them scroll down to the where yeah that there is boom wow let's see the man again wow good call kind of same chin very similar kind of irish kind of like a nighttime kind of guy

it's not a bad thing you're saying it looks similar to him. Yup. It looks like a very, yeah, you know what your Halloween costume is next year, this fella. There you go. Enjoy, bro.

Yup. Freebie. That one's on the house. City sidewalks. Taringa ting ting. Me and my drone. They always have like that Spanish guy

like, hey, me and my drone. You know? Oh, like that was a hula hoop. Yeah. Hey, I'm Prancer, I'm mixing. Hey, hula hoop, my son. Silver bells.

Yeah, I love that guy. Silver bells. It's Christmas time in La Ciudad. You got more Asian there. I love that. Did I? Yeah, a little. Yeah, man, I go in and out.

Silent night. Yeah. Hey, be quiet tonight. Some guy always sings it like that. Hey, homie, be quiet down, bro. It was the night before Christmas and fuck, man. And shit, all the bells were ringing, bro. Yeah, man. And we was fucking having bells were ringing, bro. Yeah, man.

And we was fucking having a party, boy. A party, bro. My fringer got out of jail. All right, dude. Fuck, you sound fun, bro. You're super fun. Mexican Christmas. Oh, dude, I can't wait to be Mexican.

Sounds like my house. I'm being Mexican next time on Reincarnation. Dude, you come over to my house and you just feel Mexican. Oh, I've been over there, dude. I've been in there. You were there for Thanksgiving, but Christmas, we have pozole. Uh-huh. be a mexican next time i'm reincarnation do you come on my house and you just feel mexican oh i've been over there dude i've been in there you were there for thanksgiving but christmas we have pozole uh-huh just soup dude there's a grown man to eat soup on christmas eve it's kind of heartbreaking i shut up i take it yeah yeah i take it damn dude i could see a man eating soup on christmas dude it almost sounds beautiful it It ain't, though, you know.

You should have a hearty meal. You know, I like the ham, the mashed taters. You've had enough. The pink pecan pie. You've had enough of the pie, brother. Yeah, you're right. Okay? No disrespect, but you definitely seem like a guy who fucking has had pie.

Yeah, you're right. Who doesn't have it all the time, but who's had it? Yeah, I mean, I do have pie in my grasp at all times. Yeah, I could see you having a pie nearby. Okay.

Okay. Well, let's go back to Incredible, sir. All right. What up, Mr. Santa Shaw? What up, Theo? Santa's a little helper, Vaughn. Coming at you

with a Christmas special. Dang. My favorite gift would have to be this boy right here. Hell Coming at you with a Christmas special. Dang. Called you now, bro. My favorite gift would have to be this boy right here. Hell yeah. He has a mad thick. His name's Solomon. Mad thick.

That's an attitude. These are my gifts. I have gift receipts that I don't remember. Just take it back. Family tradition. We keep it simple. We just take a family photo, put an image in the email, check it out. I want to know your guys uh one of your guys favorite gift

least favorite gift family tradition have a merry christmas gang gang buzz buzz culture culture oh that's a cool ass dog i see you got the the electric shock on his neck to keep that motherfucker in line though is he really well he probably could have been could have been court ordered as well yeah you're right maybe on probation oh you just don't know what a lot of these animals are that's one of them dotsons yeah they've got their asshole on your face though because their little tails are like tater tots sticking up oh they have that perky butthole oh really yeah oh wow so outlandish i ain't looking though sounds like you've seen it i bet you could pick one out of a police lineup it sounds like fair you know that's the one that did it that

might be a pug though uh merry christmas so he's asking what what do we do he's asking you guys your all-time favorite gift you sound like me least favorite gift and family tradition oh you start man i think or let's have you guys start what do you think so we can get our thoughts together man i remember me and my brother got the PS2 the day it came out. Like right after that, that shit was heaven. It was about two, three years ago? Yeah. PS2?

No, it was like, bro, that was like, dude, I was 12, 11. Wow. Oh, that was the best. Oh, man, because we didn't get video games like that. Yeah. Like we had shitty shit. You know what I'm saying? That was like, what?

What game came with it? Metal Gear Solid 2? No, they didn't bring any games. They were like, we got you the play. Damn, no games? No, we had, you know, they come with those. game came with it metal gear solid 2 no they didn't bring any games they were like we got you we got you the damn no games no we had you know they come with mr poston they come with the demo games that's what i had you know that you can just bro yeah what a cocktease i know dude it was there but it was awesome but terrible playstation 2 yeah yeah playstation 2 was good i remember getting super nintendo one time and we lost our minds, dude.

My brother's friend was over. He threw his friend through the fucking living room window out into the side yard. Dude, Super Techno Ball, NBA Jam. I'll tell you what. One time, my mom, how she knew this guy, I don't know. I don't want to talk about it. Either way, he had connections. Sex, probably.

Dude, come on, bro. It's holidays, bro. Holidays is sexual, right maybe dude my bad bro i shouldn't have said anything anyway i didn't know so he had the connection to authentic nfl jerseys oh like i always had the bootleg ones i like this emmett smith one it said like smith with two h's on the back whatever dude anyway my mom knew this dude and he was like oh who are your kids favorite players i think he's trying to sleep with my mom, like you said. But she didn't do it.

Sorry. She didn't do it. Yeah, sure she did. But she honeydicked them to get these jerseys. Yeah. So I got the authentic junior sale. Yeah, the authentic junior sale San Diego Chargers away game jersey. And my brother got that cold.

I'll never forget this. I think he still has it. Deion Sanders, 49ers, and it was sewn in with the patch on it bro i mean him to start humping each other just freaking out dude yeah we were so excited i'll never forget that moment man either that or when i got my pet monster bring up my pet monster this fat ass monster toy similar nose to theo but he was cool man and he came with like chain look at him oh shit yeah similar nose to theo all right all right that's what i have my pet monster was a big deal dude i remember my dad got me that i'll vibe with that uh that my pet

monster dude let me tell you what i got I got a didgeridoo one time. Somebody came through town rolling with a couple diggies and mom fucking scored one. I feel like your mom would give you a rain stick. Remember those? You turn it upside down.

Oh, yeah. I got one of those, man. I knew you did. Look up didgeridoo if you can. It's an Australian outdoor piece. Do I remember one time my dad got me micro machines oh yeah they were great busted in my pants dude they were so good micro machines remember that guy would talk as

fast as you could yeah dude i remember yeah we got that didgeridoo that sound stick baby you'd go like this yeah and then somebody fucking called me up a bunch of names bunch of racial slurs because it was they were trying to sleep and i was outside doing it damn yeah i remember we had a didgeridoo in school and somebody farted didgeridoo bro that's yeah dude yeah no mess with anymore after that i remember the teacher's like somebody needs to play that didgeridoo i ain't having him i try your pink eye miss hampton it's christmas time of year i love somebody who's always drunk and singing christmas carols you know hell yeah do you like eggnog rudolph he's out the random more you're He's outdoor animal. You're like, what? Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.

Dude, no, we like when Mets sing Christmas songs. That's what we love. Yeah, I just love the exchange rate on any time. Eyes on mommy looking for something downtown. You're like, what? That's nothing, man. But it sounds great. Yeah, it sounds so nothing, man. But it sounds great. Yeah, it sounds so good, dude.

Dashing through the snow. I don't want those open sleds. Looking for my prince. Laughing all the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're like, looking for my prince. Looking for my prince. Too much, man.

It's beautiful, man. Feliz Navidad to all of the Spanish, Mejicano listeners, man. Damn, what's Nick's Christmas like? Nick? He's had a good year, man. He's got a little lady. What else?

You spent Christmas with your lady, Nick? Yeah. You're not bringing her with you you ain't there yet oh a month dude i took my ex-girlfriend home after like three weeks one time hell yeah or the only time really how'd it go how'd it go it was good she's all she's great so yeah it was good. She's great. So, yeah, it was good. But it was, yeah, I mean, it's just, yeah, it was great, you know? I remember one time the worst present I ever got, my grandma, she gave me a blanket with a fucking eagle on it. I was 19.

She gave me a blanket with an eagle on it. Oh, yeah. And as she was bending over to get the gift, she farted. Really? Yeah, man. Big big lady i'll never forget that it's almost beautiful man was it a cold day out it would i mean she's not small bro dude i love it not blankets a 19 year old yeah man you gotta stay warm at all ages man you should be really grateful about that but i love hearing a senior fart especially if it's outdoors and it's a crisp, silent kind of time. If it's snowy

out and you can hear it. It's almost like a crisp apple bite, isn't it? Yeah. It's like somebody biting into a damn bud apple. Dude, then just watch Larry King live. The dude just be farting now. You get a certain age where you just don't give a fuck.

It's that time of year, man. Chin, what are you doing for Christmas? Damn, that's the worst beard I've ever seen. Family? Pretty general. You do a Christmas friend thing? And what about the date, Chin? Have you gone on the date yet?

Okay, nice. She gave you a whole month of opportunity that's good are you gonna get her a gift oh you bad boy breaking stereotypes big gift though am i right come on come on come on who cares man how big your penis is or isn't man dude we're talking about gifts here bro well you're making sexual my bad my bad my bad guys can't just give a big old gift off the bat chin you gotta warm it up rocking around the rhythm tree yeah everyone's fighting outdoors right now grandma biting Everyone's fighting outdoors right now. Everyone's fighting.

Grandma biting. Flaming hot Cheetos. Oh, man. You're racist, bro. My son's Mexican, dude. Is he really? Both of them. Full Mexican?

Full Mexican. What? How? Then that's not your son. But I feel you, dog. I feel you, bro. I love that, bro. Foster children's not your son. But I feel you, dog. I feel you, bro. I love that, bro. Foster children.

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I didn't want to tell you because I think you, all right. I'm using my bookie, dude. Are you? I'm using my bookie. I've been going hard on the Cleveland Browns. I'm kind of making my money back dude i've been betting a lot of ufc there's a ufc this weekend so i'm just you know i'm trying to make money dude oh man dude yeah i uh i just bet on that um i try to bet on that

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You can save other ways. Yeah, they're like the Santa of betting. Go to sign up mybookie with the code at K-A-T-S. I'll handle this. Wow, man. Wow, dude. Freaking out, bro. I'm freaking out, bro.

You had too much Christmas candy. No, it's the eggnog, Theo. Is it? Yeah, I'm freaking out, dude. Try not to shit my pants through these reads. You're going to be fine. Go sign up for MyBookie with our code K-A-T-S and start winning today. Because I'm losing.

What else we got, bro? What else we got? We got a little debate club from our boy, J-Rock. Oh! King Mustang, it's your boy J-Rock, and I need your help spreading Christmas cheer across the galaxy. Has anyone talked to this guy? The evil Lord Gorak has enslaved the Morgai people, and we're going to use the magic of Christmas to set them free. Come on, King Mustang! Has anyone talked to this guy? And I bring gifts to spare the lives of the Morgai people and this very old homosexual man. There are certain guys that want to get back.

These two gifts are the essence of Earth's happiest festivities. Christmas. And the gifts I present Eve. Christmas vacation. And a Christmas story. I accept your offer, J-Rod, but I will only take one. The better one.

So which one is it? You know what, Lord Borlac, just hang on one minute. I'm gonna take this to a higher level. Debate Club. Goddamn King, goddamn Sting, I can't decide which one of these films is better.

Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story. Let the debate begin. J-Rod. Dude, let the debunt begin, bro. Oh, and before I go, I just want to let y'all know. King, I'm going to see you February 21st. Sting and Derrick, I'm going to see you March 26th. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, culture, culture. Merry Christmas.

Wow. Where are we? Is that Toronto? I don't know. Where are we both going to be at? Is he the director of the next Star Wars? The editing and all that shit he has nothing to work with? Dude, that's incredible, man.

Damn, he's good. Wow. Merry Christmas. That's the fan of the year. That's the fan of the year. Yeah, I think we might have to go. We should send him something. Yeah, we'll send him something.

Let's think of something nice to send him. Well, it's Christmas. We can think of right now of what to send him. Well, something a didgeridoo, some old pet monster if he's into it. Ooh, an old pet monster would be great. We'll do that. What do you think he would like, Kat? Have you ever gotten a man a gift before?

I have. I think J-Rod could use a king in the stink flannel. That'd be dope. He's always wearing flannels. He's always in flannels. Yeah. And a stocking. Yeah, we could swag him up probably with some nice

fashion. What an amazing freaking know, fashion. Yeah, we got to hook him up. As Andy Schwartz calls it. What an amazing freaking video, man. Yeah. All year, man, from the beginning to the end. Yeah, I said we got to do something for him. Where are we?

March 26th? Where are you on the 21st? February 21st. I think I'm in Red Bank, New Jersey. No, he's in Canada. He is? I'm pretty sure J-Rod's in Canada. Then I'm in Toronto. That's where he is.

I think it's Toronto. Because that's the only thing Then I'm in Toronto. That's where it is. I think it's Toronto. Because that's the only thing that I remember, that both of us are both in Toronto. What day did he say? May what? 26th. 21st for me. I think it was March. Toronto, yep.

Toronto. Because February 21st for you, May 26th for me, that's Toronto. Oh, gang. There we go, then. That's a Toronto boy. Yeah. That's amazing, man. Wow.

I think for both of those movies, bro, at a certain point, dude, both of those movies, bro, smoke a bowl of ass, dog. I thought we were going to have to argue about this. It's like I love it until I don't, man. Christmas Story, I can't really. I don't fucks with it, dude. Yeah, I just get a little out of touch. No, I never got into it.

I still like the one with the Cousin Eddie with the wild shoes, you know, with the white boots. That's Christmas Vacation. With Christopher Lloyd. That's Christmas Vacation, right? Yeah, Christmas Vacation. Dude, I fucks with them. My favorite holiday movie is Jim Carrey is the Grinch. That's my favorite.

That's my favorite. Oh, fuck all of that, dude. Yeah, the Whoville. Yeah, dude. Them Whos, bro. They out here. They thottin', dog. A lot of these bitches some

of them were they caught a couple who's where was it i think outside of toledo dude doing something nasty yeah they're always busting them bro little cindy lou who you know and i think she was a foster child they don't have a lot of backstory on her that's the issue for me i enjoy it though but back to j-rod's thing i don't fucks it. If I had to pick Christmas Vacation, but there's been so many better Christmas movies now. Yeah, dude. I'd rather smoke two vape cartridges in my cousin's butt, bro. Because I think that it's just no good. Yeah, I'd rather sip eggnog off my mom's tits before I watch those two.

What? Am I right? No. No. Take this back, dude. You're not right, dude. How does your mom have sippable tits, man? Dude, you said you're going to smoke bulls at your cousin's ass instead of watching. Of his ass, dude.

I would never get near his butt with a lighter. Oh, I feel you. Yeah. I would take parts of his ass if something happened to him and fucking spark him, bro. That's that movie, Alive. Damn, dude. Yeah. Yeah, but the bottom line is I don't like these movies.

But I like J-Rod. Dude, I like Christmas, dude. I like J-Rod, bro. But the movies, I think I'd rather watch Elf. I'd rather watch Bad Santa 2. I'd rather watch Family Man. Not Bad Santa 2. I'd rather watch, I'd rather do a little bit of peep and timing, bro.

Because people, they don't, they're inside more this time of year. bats in it i'd rather watch uh i'd rather do a little bit of peep and timing bro because people they don't they're inside more this time of year so it's easy to see them summer people are coming in and out of the door all the time yeah when it's busy yeah winter you pull up bro you chair up outside of a fucking window dude on a dark night it's like watching the real world oh you got two hours of viewing bro legit real world yeah bro christmas edition yeah i'm a solid fan yeah it's kind of nice man makes you know ratings better for you makes me want something better for myself sometimes yeah well you could always come over my house man thanks man i appreciate it dude come over there and have a couple of grams of egg yeah dude put a straw inside of your mom's breast once you come over there and do your imitation of mexican singing

how see how that goes whatever bro it's a good impersonation man i enjoy it it's vintage latino is what it is bro yeah it's that vato fucking yeah last christmas i gave you my wrist last christmas i gave you my wrist. Last Christmas. I gave you my wrist this Christmas. Dude, come on, man. Last Christmas, I'll help you get involved with a zoo. That's a Sinaloan zoo, baby. Hell yeah.

Thank God it didn't go in on that, man. There's been a fire near it. You tried pulling me into that bullshit, too, bro. It was four. Dude. I just wanted the eagle. Yeah, that's true. What else we got, man?

60% Christmas vacation. Yeah. Yeah, I would agree with that. Two out of three. And next year, I bet it'll be 80% Christmas vacation. I just think that that other one's starting to go by the wayside. Yeah, it's kind of like racism. Yep. Praise God, brother. Not cool anymore, you know?

Agreed. Rocco Jerome. This is our boy Rocco. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Rocco in Louisville, Kentucky. I'm about to make a big donation to Toys for Tots, and I got a debate club for you guys. What's better? Name brand toys

that you can only afford one of, or generic toys that you can buy a whole bunch of? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, ho, ho, ho. Tight move doing the Lord's work, giving some toys to kids, man. Praise God. I thought he was just going to go in there and use the bathroom, do a number two. That's what I thought he meant.

Hey, man, I'm about to go into this toy store taking shit who do you guys think that's what i thought man yeah i'm glad to see the actual toys too uh merry christmas man yeah merry christmas dude you gotta have the one legit toy because we got that off-brand the generic ones first of all when i was a kid you bring around your friends we're like oh you got a micro machine nah man it's just that small machine. They don't fuck with that. Yeah, yeah. You get made fun of.

Yeah, you got to come with a real toy. I think unless it's a kid that doesn't know what a name brand toy is, I think, or if a kid that's been living in the woods or something or been a feral child, then I think you got to go. Like I had a GI Greg. Yeah. That shit, he played with it once, his fucking arm fell off,

you know? Meanwhile, the rest of the kids got them G.I. Joes doing shit, lighting them on fire, and they stay solid. Oh, yeah. G.I. Greg, dude.

His fucking face fell off. Bro. Ah! His special weapon was don't ask, don't tell policy. Yeah. You're like,

what? He doesn't even have a knife that's it he just comes with this rainbow flag i feel like we're forgetting Spanish person, man. I'm not Spanish, bro. Whatever, dog. I'm just a white guy that's surrounded by a man.

It doesn't rub off. I'm 35. You gotta get in there, man. Get in there. Get in there. I think we're forgetting some hits, some Christmas hits, man.

Yeah. Which one are we forgetting? Oh, I know which one. Which one? Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Rock around the Christmas tree. No, Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, that's a different song. Christmas Song, Derek Googled.

We try, man. Unbelievable, man. I love it, bro. I fucking love this shit, man. Yeah, that internet's slow. You know what? If I get three wishes, one would be Derek get better at Googling. Two, the internet would get faster. bro i fucking love this shit man yeah that internet slow you know what you know if i get three wishes one would be there get better at googling two the internet would get faster

oh drummer boy look at my gun yeah was that's all he sings about raping the girl Yeah. Was that the song he sings about raping the girl? Maybe it's cold outside. Maybe it's cold outside. Maybe it's cold outside. Need you say more? Maybe it's cold outside.

She's like, I really should go? I don't think so. I'm really scared. It's all good. Look at this beard. You don't remember that song? She's like, wow, I don't feel comfortable. He's all, take this beer. You don't remember that song? She's like, wow, I don't feel comfortable. He's all, take this

pill. I'm a little confused. He's like, whoop, check out my car. Bro, that's the Darren Sharper. No. I think you're talking about the Darren Sharper mixtape.

I don't think that is You're right, man. Came with that family guy, Porto. I think you're talking about the Darren Sharper mixtape. I don't think that is. You right. You right, man. Came with that family guy, Porto. Dude, that song, bro. He's trying to get the lady to be at the house, man. It's cold out. I agree.

He's just trying to warm up. Everyone's freaking out. Yeah, and look, if she doesn't want to be there, she's free to leave. He's just trying to get her to mill around a little longer. That's on you. And she goes, I'm going to call a taxi. He's all, it's pretty busy out there. I don't just trying to get her to mill around a little longer that's on you and she goes i'm gonna call a taxi he's all uh it's pretty busy out there i don't want you to get hurt do they what do they say in the lay in the lyrics here i really said yeah here it goes i really can't stay baby it's cold outside and it was cold i gotta go away baby it's cold outside does it say i really gotta get going bitch it's a whole outside I'm gonna tell you again motherfucker

what yeah it's that new mix whoa dude how about a literal banger yeah dude good that's a good cat um my mother will start to worry he's all beautiful what's your hurry fuck her my father will be pacing the floor listen bitch i put the fireplace on a roar is that what they say yeah it's cold out brendan hey then she goes well maybe just a half drink more he goes i'll put some records on while i pour she's honeydicking him dude because he he spits all this game and he's like yo i'm gonna i'll put the records on she's like yeah give me a little more. Zoom in a little, Derek.

I don't know. It's say they're trying to have a cigarette at one point. If she's staying and smoking, man, then they're friends. The neighbors might think, baby, it's bad out there. I simply must go. Say what's in this drink. Bitch, quit asking so many questions. You guys are disgusting.

I wish I knew how. Your eyes are like starlight now. Okay. That's creepy. This sounds like the. Your eyes are like starlight now. Okay. That's creepy. This sounds like the night Derek locked his girlfriend in the basement. Yeah. I have to say no, no, no. Hey, look.

She goes, I have to say no, no, no. He goes, mind if I move in closer? At least I'm going to say that I tried. I got to get home, baby. You'll freeze out there. Now, this is the thing, man. If a woman trying to go out and freeze, dude, I say that i say to that woman you don't freeze you stay here you stay here now here's where it gets a little weird she goes uh you're very pushy you know he goes

i think uh i like to think of it as an opportunist where's that at right in the middle uh you're fucking creepy dude he goes am i creepy or am I just trying to capitalize here? That's street word. I simply must go. The answer is no. Fuck. I think the answer is. My sister will be suspicious.

All right. So this dude. Who is this guy, bro? Did they get his name? Because this dude definitely. Adina Menzel. Oh, this man sounds like a fucking pervert, bro. Yeah, dude.

Let's get. No, that's. You should FaceTime Chris Hansen Huh? That's Elsa Oh that's the girl Yeah that is that girl Yeah she got right Whatever dude

Whoever it is They're obviously out there Vertin bro Yeah we should call Chris Hansen On the case Yeah that's the thing I think if you are If it's really cold out

Take care of yourself But don't Don't hit on the dude Trying to keep you warm You don't have to do a cigarette If somebody's cold out A cigarette ain't gonna help them No you don't don't hit on the dude trying to keep you warm well you don't have to do a cigarette if somebody's cold out a cigarette ain't gonna help them no you don't need a shot of whiskey praise god brother praise god but also that was in that was written in the 50s and 60s that's what they did bro dude first of all if this didn't if this song didn't happen

i bet a third of our population wouldn't even exist you know and i'm not saying it's right but i'm just saying that that's the way it breaks down dude you have to be convincing if you're going to have sex with somebody sometimes you can't be one of these people like what do you guys think what do you think about this song Kat it's a little weird

if you think about it in modern day context but I think that's just flirting from back in the day it wasn't as okay for girls to be like yeah i want to stay yes so you got to at least put up a front like you're pretending to go home yeah back well back then yeah everything had more airs yeah back then you shared whiskey with the man that's a wrap son yeah they gave you the okay also think of looney tunes peppy lepew That was a cartoon.

Yeah, also. That dude was raping everybody. Was he? No, dude. Guys, this is a Christmas episode, man. Y'all talking about animals raping? No, we're just talking about how times are different. We should be grateful.

Yeah, you're right, dude. I'm sorry, man. What else we got? But also, look at Mad Men. That whole series was about that shit. So, let's pick a path, dude. Are we talking about it? Are we not talking about it? Does it matter?

Does it not? The guy's trying to make love to this lady. She don't even smoke, bro. I think everybody's alright. And a lot of women were doing cigarettes back then. What else you got, D? 60% name brand toys. Yeah. Respect, man.

You can't have that generic shit. You can't have a Dreamcast. Yeah. You can't have uh can't have a dream cast yeah you can't have tigger you know like sometimes you would see like the one from winnie the pooh you need tigger you know yeah they had t-i-g-g-a and he just fucking he didn't even have like he had like purple kind of like it wasn't even orange it was like purple and black stripes and he had a fucking chain and a watch on yeah i remember like who the fuck is this remember he man there's a lot of he man yeah i just had that man toy yeah they had man toys just two guys holding hands yeah it's weird it's confusing but they both had the same haircut yeah yeah dude i remember that game uh life i remember

that board game i got one year remember operator oh yeah operation oh that's right go yeah you touch the side this shit was scary yeah yeah operator was the one where you told somebody next to you in the circle a store a thing oh that's a telephone and it came all the way around operator too though right yeah an operator yeah then they changed the telephone but by the time it got to like the 17th it was changed you realize all you're a bunch of fucking liars yeah dude yeah and things got weird you would start it off like trying to like something real serious like you know like hey you know i'm gay no no like yeah hey i'm gay and then it gets to the end and you're like oh catfish is for dinner and you're like oh dude this was my moment and everybody gets up

it goes a fucking gay people are fist fighting for tartar sauce you're like yeah i was touched often and it gets around to the end dude i was molested and then it gets your greg molested me by the time it gets around all you're eating is fucking sugar cookies. Yeah. What a crazy game, dude. By the time he gets around, it's like, mom's giving dad porch paint for Christmas. You're like, what? What happened to me? Yeah.

Confining you, my friends, dude. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Oh, man. All right. Get us somewhere, Derek. All right. Get us the fuck out of here.

Let's get out of here. This is the last one, guys. This is Katie, Mason, and Chase guys This is Katie, Mason, and Chase Katie, Mason, and Chase Oh beautiful Hey Theo, hey Brennan It's Katie, Mason, and Chase From Delaware

We have a debate club Fake Christmas tree Or real Christmas tree You guys let us know cute kids that's beautiful man hell yeah good quality i think back in the day all the only choice we had was real trees yeah it was a real hassle too especially when the pines start falling off i love it and when christmas is over and just like what are we gonna do with this tree what the fuck we do but i'd like carry it outside and shit it was exhausting but it smells fantastic yeah dude

i remember trying to climb it when i was real young and getting having my shirt off and just getting sap all over my body and then getting like all types of like pieces of um wood no not wood construction uh wrapping paper stuck on this tar on the little tar parts and shit like the silver yeah being an animal tinsel and everything that's living brother it was fun bro i think real tree we used to lay under the tree and fucking let the sap drip on us, bro. That shit was fun at night. The night before, you know, Santa came. It always smelled real. Drink a little bit of that water at the bottom, dude. You and your brother get down there and have a fucking.

A little tree fountain. Instead of that fucking hot pine soup, boy. Hell yeah. That shit was strong, dude. That bark stew, baby. Oh, yeah. That shit was tasty. Bro, that shit will make your neck wiggle, bro.

It was good stuff, man. So I think either one. I think as long as you have the spirit, I don't think it matters. I don't think the kids really know if they're real young. I don't think too many people are buying real ones anymore. People don't realize how big of a deal it is to have a real one. It's more of a hassle. People are a bunch of lazy bitches these days and just do the fake tree.

My mom would always get the real one and we would get it to get on there and screw those things in and you weren't even strong enough dude i remember having to hold it real tight and then my brother would turn my fucking wrist like like i was like a screwdriver that's what you had to do though yeah and turn them all in even yeah and sometimes it wasn't even our trees were always like this. And my mom would go, good enough. Good enough. I guess. And that's how I lived my life.

Dude, and we put the ornaments up, man. Getting the ornaments out. My mom always did a wonderful job with Christmas, man. She really. Yours did too? Yeah. Moms do a great job with that. What about y'all's moms?

Oh, she's the best. The whole house is always, like everything. She goes all out, my mom. Is there anything worse taking the decorations down god that shit sucks dude yeah that's for dad yeah so depressing i remember i have to hold the lateral my dad would fucking take the lights down yeah and you have to look at your dad's butt and how bad his pants are yeah the dad jeans is assholes in your face but i just remember it took forever also i'm eight why am i out here dude because you're helping out this ain't doing shit i'm just i'm just standing on the ladder so if you fall i eat shit too yeah dude oh a lot of dads surviving their sons don't make it during falls and you got

to respect that that's good looking out man that's why you have two three four five sons dude right back in the day had 17 sons bro you know i'm saying you go to the mall you come back with 15 sons like airbags yeah dude so anything is possible i think either one you got two beautiful boys you have a tree yeah yeah and it looks like you guys are in the christmas spirit over there so people are lazy though man what do you got what do you 56 real tree i love that that's them with some gangster shit yeah amen but not easy all right boys let's wrap it up with some caner sting it all right get into the gifts up first I forgot we got gifts yeah this is mark rice it's a boy big mark oh damn rice Yvonne, Brendan Schaub. Eggnog. Got a little debate club for you. Oh, I love it.

This shit is thick. Is it sacrilegious to put a little buffalo trace in it? Oh, that's my shit, bro. That's living, bro. It is Christmas. Hell yeah. So you tell me. Yeah, mix it up though, bro. Jingle, jingle, buzz, buzz.

Hell yeah. Eat your buzz on, Big Daddy. Hell yeah. Yeah, on big daddy hell yeah yeah big daddy fuck yeah that's living i love that yeah god that guy's beautiful it looks like santa's little son you know like it's like sweet little son that's nice that whiskey son yeah son is always he's like oh we're gonna you're doing gifts with us and he's like nah i'll be out not this year yeah i'm having fun i'll be at the mall he's like, nah, I'll be out of here. Not this year. Yeah. I'm having fun. I'll be at the mall. He's like,

what? The mall? You're like, I'm Santa. What the fuck are you doing at the mall? Dude, whiskey and eggnog. I've never had it,

but it sounds, but listen, I don't even know if I was drinking whiskey last year. So maybe this year, get a little gingerbread cookie, a little eggnog, a little Buffalo Tracer Blanton's if I'm feeling fancy. I love that. And then down that, that eggnog, little Buffalo Tracer Blantons if I'm feeling fancy.

I love that. And then down that. That eggnog, though, have you had it recently? Mm-mm. That shit's so thick, you'll throw up, dude. It's thick. There's so much sugar in it. Praise God.

My dad used to buy me just gallons when I was a kid. That's why I'm thick as fuck now. I just down it, dude. I couldn't wait. Ice cold, just chugging it. Oh, yeah. It's like a thick, almost cream. Oh, I'll do a line of it, bro.

Nog to the noggin, dog. I'll fucking douse myself up, dude. Nog to the veins, bro. I want that fucking that brain beverage, dog. Do you guys drink eggnog at your house, Kat? Yeah, sometimes I'll put eggnog in my coffee.

Oh, really? Because it's so thick. So instead of cream, I'll use eggnog. I like that. It's good. Yeah, eggnog is good, man. Eggnog, it's almost like, because if you cook it, it's like a pancake, basically. So you could really just.

It's a thick substance. It's like having batter. Yeah, you can really just it's a thick substance it's like having batter yeah you can only have it you know around december if you if you drink an eggnog on in march you got fucking problem you can't buy it some things are only unleashed at a certain time of year and that's now the people that stock up so they have it year round and then fucking yeah nog trap houses you feel me you can't do that, bro. Only December. Why you nogging so hard? Yeah.

I know what you're saying, bro. Put that little scissor in that nog, bro. The real lean. Are you a fan, D? Oh, no. It's fucking gross. Is it? It's so thick.

You're either a nog person or you're not. Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, what's this? Bad Santa? A little buffalo in there? nick rolling in with some nog huh yeah that's just disgusting it's so thick bro i'm very excited about it you guys need some too if you're excited i'm excited

i feel like i'm gonna throw up i can't i'll throw up for sure you will we'll throw up then dude this is a christmas episode you know what gangster shitster shit, bro. I like where your head's at. Yeah, these young guys. I said I like where your eyes are at. You're afraid of... That was weird, dude. That's the nog talking, bro. Dude, I drink enough nog, I get gay, bro.

Hey, anyone else drink a lot of nog, get gay? Dude, yeah. Nog, bro, you're just gay. Bro, you drank two ounces of something that came out of a chicken's butt. You're not going to stay fully straight. Dude, anybody ever two ounces of something that came out of a chicken's butt. You're not going to stay fully straight. Dude, anybody ever have eggs and turn gay? Toast, huh?

How about a toast, man? Somebody get one. Dude, this is the one year anniversary, bro. Let's wait until Chin gets some. Let's have Chin and... Chin doesn't look thrilled. Chin, he'll be fine. Hey, where'd this nog come from, though? Target. Oh, wow. That. Oh, wow. That French nog, baby.

That generic nog, baby. Target, baby. Can we get that Whole Foods nog again? Dude, look it right in my eyes right now. You know pure as hell I was raised on that Target nog, bro. Dude, Target nog, I'm on that King Soopers nog myself, bro. Really? Alty sweet.

Oh, you're on boarhead nog bro chill yeah that boarhead bro ice cold i like when it's a little grainy i don't know what they have in their little grain almost like a little nutmeg or sand in that shit i don't feel like this but let's cheers boys king this thing it's one year down here baby one year down and a big year ahead uh cheers brother appreciate you guys man Appreciate you guys, man. Appreciate you guys, man. Cheers, guys. Thank you. Cheers.

I don't know what's going to happen after we drink this eggnog. Oh, God, it's good. That is so thick. Wow. Mmm. God. Ooh, mine had a little bit of yolk at the end. Yeah.

Mmm. Oh, God. Mine had a candy cane in it. Really? Yeah, you put it in there. Come on, God. Mine had a candy cane in it. Really? Yeah, you put it in there. Come on, guy. You're the guy who's slipping jelly beans into his fucking milk at home. Oh, mine had a little candy corn in it. Oh, man.

My milk had seven candy corns in it. Ooh. Yeah, now we're living. What else we got? I say nog, baby. I'm sorry. I say nog, baby. I say yes to whiskey in your eggnog.

I say no to straight up eggnog as an adult. Silver bell, baby. There's a few things you can't do. Dude, if you're doing Disney Plus and Bust with eggnog, you got problems, bro. You got to get out the house. Makes my nuts hard, bro. I like it. I do, man.

Dude, you got to get out the house, bro. You can't be watching Disney Plus with eggnog. Yeah, I can't. No, dude. Bro, yes, I can. Well, you're doing it, so it can't stop you yes i can dude i live alone i don't feel good after that eggnog that cheap ass eggnog god damn cat uh what is it pretty good huh jim likes it two thumbs up on that no bro nick had this in his fucking bottle as a baby

oh yeah these are the mid. Of course he did. That Wisconsin band. Are we playing cards? We're playing White Elephant, son. Sounds racial, doesn't it? Huh? I don't know. It's not about...

Can we read what the history of White Elephant is? Why it's a thing? Oh, it's an Asian game. Yeah. It is? I didn't know that. Thailand. Laos, Cambodia, Asian game. Yeah. It is? I didn't know that. Thailand. Laos, Cambodia, Burma.

Wow. We'll start with Theo, and then you pull a card. So Theo pulls a card first, right? You just pull them all and hold it up. Okay. My stomach's in cramps after that eggnog, bro. Bro, you got to tighten up, dude. So there's the rules.

I've had all kind of fluids, bro. Wild, fluid, local. Bet you have, playboy. Dude. Two to five, you switch with anyone you want. If you roll a six or seven, switch with the person to the right. If you roll an eight or nine, switch with the person to the left. If you roll a ten, you open the goddamn gift.

Who has the dice? We're going to do cards instead. Yeah, we're pulling cards, not rolling dice. Okay. He'll pull it. We'll start with Theo. Once all the gifts are open, game's over. All right right let's do it yank that dick deck open that gift bro oh gee that open gift baby let's do it do we know we don't know oh it's a secret oh okay i keep telling people the blue bag and don't make a face like it's from you Okay Hey let's say once we're done

You gotta guess whose gift that was too Dude I'm gonna shit my pants That eggnog's not sitting well Oh that's Bobby Lee he always does that Oh this one is It's a random thing That came in from Mark Kukley Mark Kukle from Kenosha, Wisconsin. Okay.

And it's to Theo Von Podcasting. We do not know what it is, so it's still White Elephant kind of. Just the box. Just the box. Oh, just the boxes. Sorry. My bad. So I open the gift now?

Yeah. All right. You didn't really think it was from that guy, did you? Yes, I did. Thank you, Mark. That's cool. From Ken? Yeah. All right. You didn't really think it was from that guy, did you? Yes, I did. Thank you, Mark. That's cool. From Kenosha. Is that a different page?

From the Kenosha Bells. Oh, wow. A couple things in here. We got that Ridge wallet. Ooh, we got this. Okay. That's like a trophy. Yeah, it's kind of a. That's like a trophy. Yeah, it's kind of a...

Hell yeah, that's like a dad throwing a ball. That's Tom Brady, dude. Look at it. It's not Tom Brady. That'd be more of a Kirk Cousin vibe. Classic Tom Brady. We got some trolley candies. That's Nick.

That's Nick. Oh my God. Apparently Nick won some sort of competition it's 3d printed that's me wow dang it is him dang i mean kind of dang nick yeah that's pretty cool i got that did you make this nick oh that's got that 3d nick oh and these zoom ac head adapters man and these are hey is anything worse when you get shitty gifts and have to pretend oh damn oh a little one this is a pretty dope gift a nick urine that's pretty good cool that's awesome bro damn nick you're doing the dad prescott too Nick. You sure do want to give these to your girlfriend?

Here's the question. How many of them must he have if he's willing to give a couple away? That's amazing. Legit question. Thank you very much. I love my gift. Hey, there's nothing better than someone pretending that they like their gift, though. Not that you're doing that, but it's the best.

You ready, Big Brown? I'm ready, man. Oh, and there's candy in here, too. candies trolley sour not my face bright crawlers not my face yeah i can't have that much sugar but yeah i mean i do love it though i can't have eggnog at all dude my stomach is there's a fucking bebop and rocks that are going on my stomach right now i'll be all right though if you get the master splinters That's when you're not doing well. Yeah Yeah, you get that Michelangelo in my pants Jack Jack at the 10 right

Jack Yeah, you know damn you guys just making up shit now. Ah yeah throw it against the wall Open it up dude. It's's nice it's a nice feeling opening gifts oh now that that's a dope little gift oh oh wow what is that snoop tupac's stance socks to sock damn bro hmm looks like Morgan Freeman with a bandana but that shit's dope they said it would take a man six hundred years ago yeah I guess I'll wear these socks I guess I'll feel comfortable comfortable wearing these on stage yo man what the fuck's that boy wearing what no what side come on man thug life i guess i feel comfortable enough to wear a black man on my feet

bro that's okay i see why he gave these away bro i see exactly he gave these away i don't feel comfortable at all wearing these okay dude bro dude. Damn, dude. Bro, it's not black face. It is black feet. And they don't have no Michael Bublé socks. Come on, bro. All right. Let's keep it moving. Cat. Eight.

Switch with the person on your left. Oh, damn. Hey, even though ours is open, you can still steal our gifts, huh? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I fucking hope someone gets a six. Switch with the person to the right. God damn it.

All right, Chin. Switch to the person to your right. Be me. That's Derek. Ooh, you're in for a trade? Chin, huh? Trading no tariff yet, huh, Chin? Oh, yeah.

We'll see how the voting shapes out. We'll see how the voting shapes out. Just saying, man. Look. It's a good start, yeah. Nick? We got to know what's going on. You got a six.

Switch to the person to your right. Ooh, I hope you keep that. So we go to them, right? Make the video, right? Ten. Jack. Open. I got the ten lines already open.

You're already open. Okay. Ooh, please give me some sort of six, seven. Four. Switch with anyone. Ooh. I'll take your gift, Nick. Take these block power socks.

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm going after anyways. Is it really? Tupac? Yeah, he's a beautiful man. I like how Weeble got sponsored. Yes. You ready, Kat? Yep.

Four. Switch with anyone. Switch with anyone. I'll switch with Brendan anyone um i'll switch with brendan i know it isn't this a nice looking gift i feel like it's a pie in there be sick dude if it was a pie you would know in your heart if it was you're right dude you really intuition the pie intuition switch with anyone damn this thing looks dope. Yeah, I'll take Chen's gift. Dang.

Hey, no one wants the Heisman trophy of Nick. Or the mini one. Yeah, get two of them, dude. That's crazy. That's pretty cool. Chen, is it you? Yeah, I just went. Hey, when's this end?

Oh, wow. Nice. He'll stay. Nick? Yeah, give Chan the socks. Derek, I in them socks up, though, bro, from the jump. Dang, Nick could have had his trophy back, but. Didn't want it, huh?

Theo? Six. I got a six. Switch with the person to your right. Switch with Nick. Here, Nick. Hey, here, Nick, here's your 3D printer. That really quality there, Nick.

Ooh. Comes with chips. Wrapped in chips, huh? Dude, don't look too much into it now, Taco. Don't be sneaky. I'm not, dude. Ready, big bro? Yeah. King. Open. Open it. Wow, V gets to open them all.

I really appreciate everyone put the effort into wrapping this too i like the ralph's bag is really nice touch brings you back to my childhood thank you guys i love ralph's me too oh wow a signed uh that scar from lion king that scar Lion King. Is it really? Yes. It's a signed Scar from Lion King. Isra Alba? Idris Elba. Isra Alba.

Who is it signed by though? From him. Wow. It looks like it says... It looks like it's signed by Ben Roethlisberger. Does it have a certificate of authenticity with it, or is it just... I don't see it. Oh, anybody can sign that.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not positive it's him. Yeah, you got to check the Beckett. Kat? Kat, who's up? I have an ace. Oh, man, you got to open. Okay.

Wow, here we go. Here we go. What? No, this one's not open and brendan's not open oh hey do i have to take my gift home is that really what it is oh it's a rice cooker that's chin just like he does it's like i got intuition for pies you got intuition for rice is it really a rice cooker though? oh yeah

it's really a rice cooker this is the most racist thing yeah but sometimes if your first one goes out you got that second one or your third or your fourth three switch with anyone? I'll take that big brown You got that second one. Or your third or your fourth. That's true. Three.

Switch with anyone? I'll take that big brown. Damn. I'll take that big brown. I did have that gift in mind when I bought it. I was thinking Derek, hopefully Derek gets that gift. Silly sidewalk. Chen? Brennan's looking at these gifts, stay off of them dog dude i got the fucking

it's all good damn chin chin's going for that gift bro bro it's front it's a it's a tradition hey no one wants those socks jeez i wonder why everything's ending up right where it's supposed to be. Yeah. Hey, I guess. You already open? Yeah. Oh, we just got Theo left, dude.

We got two more. I got a king. Open it up. Damn, so does this mean I... Oh, home sweet home, dude. Advanced care, 33% more electrolytes. And this one replaces and fluids and zinc. Damn, you know that one's from Theo.

Oh, I know this whole world, dude. Oh, wow. It's Nick. Ooh, I kind of want this now. That's fire. How'd they get Nick in there? I just look exactly like Nick. This is Hopper from Stranger Things, dude.

I love Hopper bod. Wow. That's great. Yeah. That's a fantastic gift. God. Mine's four. You can switch with anyone, bud.

Switch with anyone. I'll switch with Theo. Will you? Yeah. Oh, you got the baby. Pedialyte. Yeah. Take that.

Oh, nice. Good way to prove I'm not racist by having this on my desk hmm oh just one of my many cultural friends I'm already open Chan you're the only one not open right to seven

switch to the right baby damn when I bought that gift I was thinking of Derek. Now, that's the Lord's work, Adam. That's the L, baby. That's the Lord. Take those black socks, dog.

Jen, be careful where are them socks now. I know. Nick. Seven. Which one? Right? Yep. Oh, my God.

Big Theo? What is it? It is a nine. Switch to the person on the left. Fuck. Oh, yeah. Hey, bud. Sorry to see you go, but I hope to see you soon.

You're brown? Yeah. Ace. Open. You're already open. Already open. Cat? Ten.

Already open. Already open. Opening them up. You got it? I Already open. Okay. 10, already open. Already open. Opening them up. You got it? I got it. Open them up. Let's see what she is. Now, make sure you use this thing now, Derek.

I got it with you in mind. Okay. Bust. Mr. Bust himself. Come on. Got that bust lamp, baby. That bust lamp. No way.

Yeah. Now, I need you to make deposits in that thing. God damn. Bro, we can't have him jerk it off into a lamp. We're going to go to jail. That's fire, dude. That's beautiful, man. Does it say what kind of fluids or liquids it can hold in there? Let's see.

It does not. Because honestly, man, if you do want to try it at home a little, it's totally up to you. It doesn't have anything to do with employment, but it is totally up to you. We're not liable, but if you do want to stick your dick inside that. Not inside of it, dude. Do it from above the rim. No, no, no.

Bro, he's black. He can do it from above the rim, bro. It's not like us where we have to just lay up near the edge of it. Okay? He can go straight over the top dude now whatever happens after you open that that's on you d we don't insurance but dog really on the dl if you want to see how that kind of works out because man if we came out with a real bus lamp or somebody could accurately hold their own ejaculate in their apartment the

real sea monkeys yeah dude we'd be fucking living large man praise god brother so that's kind of our test pilot that's why i did that sea business bro yeah that's that test pilot dude dude brendan thought sea biscuit was a fucking appetizer dude how crazy is that we're at this fucking restaurant by the ocean like jesus god biscuit yeah dude just things hey who brought did you bring this d yeah that's dope who did you sign it by though that's a forger i told y'all Yeah I thought it was a little fishy I told y'all no authenticity man Hopper dog There's Nick right there

Nick is always in my life Kat got the rice maker From Chin Chin what'd you end up with the socks Oh that's dope And then Nick got the black socks And Theo you got the Hopper bond yep i got the scar autograph i think we did it we did it merry christmas boys make us merry christmas man

merry christmas cat merry christmas amen brother god bless man um i get home to the family for christmas and then this weekend i'm in uh oklahoma then tulsa oh nice hard rock casino in tulsa two shows nice in okc one show tulsa you got that new year's eve too son i thought it's a lot of work you know bro yeah it's a lot of work santa two shows you are i'm like santa two shows new year's eve ice house pasadena be shopping friends get them done live dude i don't know this eggnog's not sitting well so no promises but as of now i'll be there dude i'll make a dang omelet with this stuff this stuff beautiful dude i love eggnog dude makes me feel like a human man what i'd like to say is um

oh i don't know where I'll be coming up. I'll be in Red Bank, New Jersey, and I'll be in Oxon Hill, Maryland, and I'll be in Manchester, London, Oslo, Stockholm. You're going on tour, right? Yeah. In Europe. I'm going to Europe. Let's let the fans know.

We're going to take a little break. Yeah, we're going to take a little break. We're going to take a couple weeks off. Yep. Well, Theo's in Europe, and I got some stuff going on. break yeah we're gonna take a little break we're gonna take a couple weeks off yep so deals in europe and i got some stuff going on we're gonna the show will be back in middle january yep mid mid-january we'll be back yep so just stay tuned happy holidays to everybody and um thank you thank you guys thank you b happy holidays thank. Jingle bell, y'all. Jingle

bell. Jingle bell. King in the sting, what up? Yeah. It's Blazing. Mic check, one, two, yeah, yeah, uh. Okay, Theo, you are here, rockin' molens like you know us, whippin' LA in a

Taurus, you and Brendan never bore us. Both of you, I love you, Theo, lookin' like a a farmer, Brendan looking like he in the TV show Arthur, Darren what it do, I just saw you in my town bruh, Kansas City loves you looking like a thin fat Albert, Kat you my girl, I just haven't told you yet, I've been waiting for the perfect time, as perfect as it gets, that was us just waiting for a chin to get a date. King in the sting, little thick and rabies. Coming to your town just to spread some skate bees. Holla, holla, Brennan out of Colorado. Was a brawler, now a talker.

King and stinging in the bomber. Buzz, buzz to the kings.