The Golden Hour - Episode 54: Smells Angels

Episode Date: February 7, 2020

Theo and Brendan talk All New Sink My Ink's, Curling Up To A Warm Book, Sadie Hawkins Dances, Smokin CPC, Dick Island Lighthouse, Angry Meg Ryan, Frank Sinatra Eyes, Billy Ray Thyroid, Hockey Fights vs Baseball Fights, Draft Dodgin, The Green Mile vs The Shawshank Redemption and much more!Postmates - download the app and enter code: KATS2020MVMT - https://mvmt.com/katsWeCrash - Don't miss the January 29th premiere of Wondery's WeCrashed on Apple PodcastsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

back off my broccolini get your life together don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude oh yeah you got that meat and fucking poor man sandwich one of my favorite things to do is get me a little lunchable because lunchable really make the perfect size meat man yeah they do don't they there's never enough in there as a kid maybe it's just from a fat kid speaking but it's never enough there's always four categories i always need more meat man i thought it was a lot that's the difference between us dude yep i looked at a lunchable and i was like man how am i gonna handle it all i looked down went what was this for what am i supposed to do was a snack hey mama mama where's my dunkaroos where's my oatmeal pie what are we doing she's like you're my little oatmeal pie yeah bitch i'm still hungry you keep saying that but i'm starving bro hey that's why we've been

good partners in crime as kids you could give me half of your yeah then i've been full yeah yeah it's true, huh? I'll tell you what. How about the parents always bring you fucking- Hey, eat the crust off of this real quick, bud. I'm that guy. Carb up. Billy Ray thyroid, dude.

You look like a redneck today, man. Yeah, dude. I heard you were colorblind, so I'm trying to please your eyes, you know? So maybe be nicer. With the patterns? Yeah. I heard you were colorblind, so I'm like, you know what? Just give me one of-

Just got to mix everything. Yeah, man. Yeah yeah man yeah dude trying to be aneurysm you're definitely dressed like a 14 year old boy that's not sure of his uh sexual orientation undeniably and bro how many uh how many um you gotta spit it out dude you look like you want to... It's making me laugh on the way out, bro. Is it? Dude, you look like you want to cuddle up at Barnes & Noble with a warm book. What the fuck are you

wearing, dude? Hey, calm down, man. I'm starting a fire, dude. Calm down, man. I just got done with my book club. I just got this new troll. And the pronoun is their and theirs, okay? I just got done with my book club. I just got this new troll. And the pronoun is there and there's, okay? I'm just saying, dude. Hey, go make me a fucking cappuccino.

You look like somebody. Well, there's nothing in that can and there hasn't been for two episodes. Yeah, there is, bro. I stay on these, bro. This is that au jus, baby. That's that au jus. That's a week old, man. You got to tighten up, man. You got to tighten up, bro. a week old. This is that Ajou, baby. That's that Ajou. That's a week old, man. You got to tighten up, man.

You got to tighten up, bro. Okay, fine. We're faking like you can read. All I'm saying is that hat seems like a hat that a six or seven-year-old girl wears. That's all I'm saying. That was your joke that was coming out that took so long? Yeah, yeah. All right.

Well, it finally got here, you know? It finally got here you know finally got here it landed dude i'm just saying lunchables has that perfect size meat is what i'm trying to tell you and i'm saying it's never enough for a kid my size growing up and here's the other thing those parents during halftime on my football games they always bring those goddamn orange slices i need more i need more and don't make them so They're always ice cold. Don't cover them in ice. I can't have these. Yeah, especially the funny thing is there's always that kid who didn't even play and he's eaten half of them.

Yeah, he's just killing them. Fucking little tramp. We're just going to wait for him. Randall, what are you doing, dude? Randall, you downed two Capri Suns. You ate all the oranges. You didn't even play, bro. He's too sick to even play in the second half, dude.

My mom brought him Oh yeah bro And fuck you bro Dude that kid gets beat when the sun goes down You sneak up on the kid with a broomstick bro Little giant style I'm icebox now bro Talking all that shit

Around your parents Bro that's a shirt that I got for Sadie Hawkins Dance whenever I was in school That was always a sadie hawkins school must have been lit school was lit somebody did burn it down one time i'm thinking yeah what was the sadie hawkins dance is that when the girls asked the boys that's the winner one right where the girls asked the dudes the girls asked the original me too movement hell yeah yeah that was the first step in the right direction for hollywood yeah i mean we've been doing that forever the girls asked the original me too movement hell yeah yeah that was the first step in the right direction for hollywood yeah i mean we've been doing that forever the girls asked the boys that's pretty uh yeah i don't know who this little skank sadie is that's forward thinking that's

forward thinking right i'll tell you nothing made you feel like a bigger loser when no girl asked you the dance because you can't really ask them like if if it was prom or homecoming you could ask 40 girls, and someone would be like, fuck it, dude. Yeah, let's do it because it felt bad. But if no girl asked you, then you just roll with your homies. Roll with the fellas. That's better.

I'm just going to go as a group. Yeah. Me and Carl are going to go just buddy up. We're going to ride our bikes over there. Like, damn, that sounds fucking cool, dude. Hey, were you the type of dude in high school drinking before the dances? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was not that guy, but you seemed like that.

You weren't? No, I was not that guy. You got eating. You were like, oh, let's meet at Outback. I'll be there early. Hey, man, can we stop at Chili's before we get to prom? Like, what? Before?

Before. You're like, we just ate at Outback, man. You're like, yeah, but Chili's is still open. That's not a reason to go by there. Yeah, they're going to be open tomorrow, too, man. You don't have to go there. Yeah, but just hate to miss them, you know? So you would get fucked up for the dance and stuff?

Yeah, we'd have a good time, man. Yeah, we wouldn't show up. I'm to think we showed up stone it would usually be liquor or lsd or some type of exotic you know damn you like i said your was lit you boys got after show up looking like a lizard bro your prince were like what the is going on with this kid yeah who's the kid with the mullet and the fat the fuck is going on with this kid Who's the kid with the mullet And the fat ass To the window

When's the band coming back on They're like we don't have a band dude We have Icy James The same DJ that they have for everything in town For the funerals, for the weddings For the dances, for the bat mitzvah for everything in town, for the funerals, for the weddings, for the dances, for the bar mitzvahs. Also, you keep asking for bottle service.

We're on a basketball court, you little fuck. Yeah. And you keep screaming, when's Juvenile coming out? We don't have that budget. You keep, I don't know what you think this is. Let's mosh. Dude, my goal was always- Can we please was always you stop twerking my goal was to always dance with the uh chaperone teachers that was my goal oh you're that hot boy because in a weird way it was an opportunity for them they were still like out with their you know they were away from home for the

night there was a dance there's love in the air so it was that one time i feel like where you could cut in with a chaperone and be like oh you know miss arnold how you had to do it right because they wouldn't be like no i can't yeah they do it yeah they'd be like well i don't want you dancing not to dance with anybody that was my move i would dance over by them just by myself slow dancing and they'd be like oh this is so sad they'd be like oh i gotta help this kid out this is so sad and meanwhile i'm just sitting there and then you get in there like, well, quit backing your ass up. What's up, fucking Miss Decker?

What's up, bitch? Dude, we had a Miss Decker. What's up, Miss Decker? She's like, I don't know what this dance is, young Theo. Dude, we had a guy named, I don't even know what his name was, Mr. Psilocybin, I think is what everybody called him. He was real into drugs.

And he got detained one time during Christmas. I was going to Midnight Mass and I stopped over at the gas station on the way there because my friend Big Bobby was over there. And he actually kidnapped somebody one time and went to jail, but this was before that.

And... And... Hold on a second. Sorry, I was thinking about something else. Did start dancing huh i'm sorry oh no no they detained mr psilocybin they detained him uh i just want to say his real name but they detained him big bobby detained him he was so fucked up at the uh at the gas station at the 7-eleven he's like you can't leave until you sober up so literally for like two hours at night he was just hanging out inside he wouldn't let him out back outside to his car because he was too wasted so i went before church and i went after church and he was still in there he's like hey theo what's

going on he's our teacher at school he's like you want something can i get you anything he's just hanging out like three aisles of a 7-eleven yeah like what the fuck are you talking about dude that's so great anyway that's not even that good of a story. Let's get into the episode, man. Let's do it, man. It wasn't great. Shout out to Sadie Hawkins. Shout out to Super Bowl, man.

Shout out to both of those teams. I told you. What did you tell him? I told you, bro. I'm just saying. I told you. What a game. Who was that?

Which one? Who did that? Dude, my homes. And then, dude that Frank Gore what about Ronnie Lott Frank Gore Frank Gore my boy

Ronnie Lott out there what about Mostert bro Mostert Mostert's good ooh

I like a little bit of spicy Mostert alright I wondered if you guys had seen this this is a big

video on Instagram I was curious if you guys had seen this. This is a big video on Instagram. I was curious if you guys had seen it. Oh, man. That interviewer dude is hilarious, bro. Are you excited to see the president? Oh, my God. Oh, shit. It's the fucking president.

It's the president. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. To the fucking ground, Trump 2020. You know what I mean? Rolling down the street in my six-fo. Am I going to be on the news? That's not the news. I'm going to be on the news? I'm gonna be on the news!

What's your deepest, darkest secret? You're a fucking asshole, man. You and your fucking green ass brown eyes. I love you, brother. I love you too, man. In the backseat of my Honda Accord, I had a girl get butt ass naked. Roll tide.

Roll fucking tide! Roll tide! Alright, alright, alright. Look, I'm gonna take her home. I did not agree. But then go home with your bad stuff. Then go home with your bad stuff. It is what it is.

And it's all good. Alright bro, I love you dog. I love you brother. I love you. You are one. The rarest personality type on the planet. Thank y'all man. You got some pretty ass teeth, bro. Bad shit! out of here!

You asshole! Dude, that's every meet and greet I've ever had. Your meet and greets be lit. That's the same speech that I gave at my brother's wedding, dude. Unbelievable, man. That was like a viral video. We're going streaking!

That came from All Gas No Bra show that's it thanks for the video the host can you look up the host on that level you go we'll go on with your back so she was bad too what was it all gas no brake it's uh interviews from the road by Andrew Callaghan yeah that shit was great man he's great boys were sober, man. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. He threw it out, man. He threw it out there, man.

Ty did get rolled up, I'll say that, boy, by everybody, by them LSU Tigers, bro. That gang shit. He's rolling something up before this interview. Oh, this dude's been smoking his own DNA, dude. Ty ain't the only thing getting rolled up. This place, that CBC or whatever the fuck it is. Dude, every time Brendan sneaks up on the alphabet, it goes wrong, bro.

CBC, that's a funny one. How'd you get it backwards? It was kind of right, you know? The California Police Commission? What are you talking about, buddy? That's ZBD, boy. My bad, I don't know my drugs. I'll let you take this one, Theo.

You're talking about that PCP, man. Close, though, bro. I didn't know Brendan liked to get wet. Training day. Training day. I'm with you. Okay. But gang, gang, buzz, buzz.

I got through it out in that viral video. You really did, man. That's what I'm saying, bro. Get it in there. You know? I got through it out in that viral video. You really did, man. That's what I'm saying, bro. Get it in there. You know? I like that, dude, man. Hey, the Masters are coming up.

A lot of people are going to be there. It'd be a great place to hear a Gang Gang Buzz Buzz. It'd be the best place to do it. Get in there. Gang Gang Buzz Buzz. They should escort you away. Don't worry. We'll pay for your ticket. We got you, dog.

Yeah. Where else would be a good place to do it? The Masters is good. The Masters, a funeral, a dope funeral. Outdoors, indoors. A tennis one right before they serve. Right before Serena does. Yeah.

That'd be great. First of all, who can't play tennis, dude? Get out of here with that bullshit, dog. You know what I'm saying? Put a helmet on and let's see what happens with these MFers. Gang shit. Let's roll, bro. Into something else.

A little Sink My Ink, boys. A new segment. Oh, yeah. New segment. First up is Chris D'Elia again. I'm walking out of here. If he got another tattoo and sent it in, man. He just keeps getting covered.

He said he didn't even do those tattoos. He said that Ari Shaffir hacked his arm. This is Papa Bear from New Jersey. It sure is, Papa Bear. Papa Bear needs some honey. That motherfucker looks grumpy. Papa Bear has a lot of honey to do. Papa Bear is obviously trying to hide the fact that he is blatantly Amish.

This dude is so Amish. Can we pull up Amish man? Can we bring up Honey Boo Boo? Can we bring up Honey Boone's Farm? You'll definitely... You get Amish man. He definitely has the Amish beard vibe. He does have that beard.

He's trim. That thing's trimmed up, though. Now the Amish joke's over That's so good Jesus Derek Let's get that guy over there to the right With the thing on his neck Yeah that's him right there

They all have beards on their necks With the thing on his neck the red thing gang It looks like me also Oh Jesus Christ Is that me? Is that Ted? That dude is obviously that's probably there we go that is your boy right there coming in hot bro that gypsy dude louis ck's new look is sick can't wait for his new hour yeah dude his new hour dude it's

called sunset bro that guy's hella Amish as F, bro. All right, let's get back into it, man. Let's see this honey boo-boo papa. What's up, Brendan and Theo? I'm going to let you guys sink my ink. They call me Papa Bear. And I have this. Oh, that's a swallow.

Raven. Like crow? Raven. Flying out of the Papa bear's mouth Mr. Papa bear With some watercolor very colorful tattoo Big guy like myself Got my money man tattoo right here. I'll do sales money man. That's nice. This is my right hand that I shake with. Beautiful.

I got the money green rose. With the money that we can make by shaking hands, doing business. Then we got this dagger and the blood. Hell yeah. Oh yeah, the blood helps with the business. Are you a nurse? Is he a bank teller? It's not finished.

Oh, damn. Oh, shit. That lighthouse. Or is that a dick? It's a lighthouse. It's going crossbows down there. That's not finished. Oh, damn. Oh, shit, that lighthouse. Or is that a dick? It's a lighthouse. It's going across balls down there. That's a lighthouse. It's like Dick Island that he's getting in.

Oh, Papa Bear. Yeah, bro. Hey, that bear looks like he's throwing a bunch of Skittles. Yeah, that's a lighthouse for Dick Island, bro. Turks and cockos. Yeah, bro. If I get lost, I'm looking for cock. I know where to go, dude.

Look for that lighthouse. Look for that lighthouse. Dang, boy. That's a lot of- That grinder lighthouse stat, bro. That shit's so- Dang, boy. Papa Bear got that honey.

I think Papa Bear gets a little too much honey is dank because that bear's throwing up all them rainbow skittles into a fucking crow i got some questions bro that's the most random tattoo ever what tattoo to what tattoo artist was like dude hear me out here get a giant brown bear throwing up fucking jolly ranchers into a crow yeah and then have a bird i was everybody and then have a bird catch him in your mouth right above your elbow dude that cpc is crazy these days dude oh dude bro i don't know how much needlework this guy had, but he could easily have VHI, bro. You know what I'm saying? Some of this seems like the dark art.

Bro, that bear looks like a brother that was in a fire, first of all. Let's be honest, dude. It looks a little risque. There's a lot going on. Yeah. Why is there so much color? A lot of color for a big boy like myself. Yeah, he did say that.

And I look at him and he goes, got that money tattoo, knife, rose for money. Rose for money. You know, the green rose of money. Okay, you don't. Got that blood for the business. Yeah, got blood for when I'm doing business. Dang. Are you a vampire bad dog?

Are you coming to take blood out of theo's body and test it and dude you got to make sure you got some deodorant on bro you look like one of the smells angels dog you gotta tighten up with all these tasks yeah bro also keto wouldn't kill you either, big dog. Oh, damn, Brandon. Don't get on Papa Bear. Papa Bear got to be thick, though, bro. I'm with you, dude. I'm getting to myself with Papa Bear. We got to stay thick in the streets, bro. Get your money tattooed, bro.

Get your fucking... Bro, you should get some honey just dripping off your shoulder, bro. I'm about to get them honey teardrops. Oh, bro. Bro, yeah. Nobody's going to believe that's honey dripping down your face big dog unless they know me bro not unless you know me with those fucking bus cheeks what i'm saying is this big daddy uh what are you saying that we haven't already said i was like and if you look right here they got a mountain range with a barrel full of cinnamon rolling down it.

Why do you narrate it like it's Morgan Freeman? And this one right here, it ain't done yet. You can see there'll be a lighthouse. There'll be a lighthouse. There'll be a lighthouse of death. Right there. Yeah, right there at the bottom. Hopefully you guys don't say anything about looking like a cock.

What do you think is going gonna happen, Papa Bear? You can't send that dick tattoo in. I'll get roasted, baby. We got a lighthouse with a couple of radish plants around it. And there's a femur at the bottom, a femur and a skull. Nah, man, I think this is, what I'm trying to say is, dude, I think this is, it looks good, bro. Nah, that shit's dope, i think it's crazy to let somebody draw on you in a small building dude that's the only thing i don't understand about

tattoo places you know um but respect bro i got one dude and uh and maybe one day i'll share it but um but yeah i like that i like this shit man you got the style it's papa bear dog you know i like them hairy shoulders see that fucking that fucking stay on Papa Bear. That edgy arm is, bro. You the edgy arm is, dude. Yeah, don't get that Manscaped 3.0 and try shaving your shoulders. You let that shit grow, bro, like a Papa Bear. Keep the color, too.

They're going to tell you don't grow color, but I like it, man. Yeah, I think if you let some of the hair grow in and then make that part of the foliage, dye the hair green. Oh, that's so great. Oh, what I would do is I'd grow up. That'd be cool, huh? Yeah. Oh, no, this oh what i would do is i'd be cool huh what i would oh no this is what i would do i wear the skulls that just let the hair grow hair so it looks like a full human

wow brandon always seeing cocks yeah with this one i thought lighthouse immediately a safe place for boats to get to okay you thought you thought Shutter Island? Yeah. I thought Cock Island. You know what I'm saying? You thought Shutter Legs. I want some of that wiener. Tell Big Dog Battleship's showing up, huh? Battleship's sunk. Battleship's sunk, baby.

Is that it? Shout out to Papa Beer, man. Yeah, really, dude? After you just ripped that guy and you're drinking out of, really, dude? After you just ripped that guy you're drinking out of that empty can again? Are you a psychopath? What are you talking about,

bro? It was spit. No, man. Why would I drink out of an empty can, dude? I don't know.

Dude, you went bad on Papa Beer too, man. I did not. That's a beautiful man. That's a beautiful man.

Shout out to your neck beard. I like it, dude. Oh, that beard is ice cold, man. I did not. That's a beautiful beard. Shout out to your neck beard. I like it, dude. Oh, that beard is ice cold, man. But shout out to St. Mike. Thanks for sending it in. Nick, they know we're going to rip it up when they send it, right? Yeah, we're going to sink it. Okay, good. It's not called praise my fucking

age. Dude, I'm starving. Are you? Yep. Well, dude, don't waste time running to the store yourself, man. Or what are you doing? I don't have the energy to go to the store right now. Are you going to cook yourself? Are you going to start cooking?

No. No, you're not doing that, dude. No, what do you think? It's 1905? Yeah, you're right, dude. You're right. Use Postmates. Dude, you need red wine at 4 p.m., sushi at 9 p.m.

How about a breakfast burrito for your thick lips? Oh, dude. I do have one big lip. Yeah, you need red wine at 4 p.m., sushi at 9 p.m. How about a breakfast burrito for your thick lips? Oh, dude. I do have one big lip. Yeah, you do, dude. Hey, you want that bubble gum lip, huh? I got that Lester Holt, bro, on the low side. Look, but I know what you're talking about, Postmates. Anything you're craving, Postmates, they can deliver it.

Is that right? That's right, dude. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Postmates will bring you what you need within an hour. And what do they do do like is it what is it what do you want dude name a food i know what it is oh uh it's your it's basically your own personal assistant picks your food up drops it off work what about a donut sure i'll get you a donut what about an omelet sure dude what about a couple links of sausage yeah don't tell anybody. As long as you film, you're eating it.

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credit for your first seven days when you download the Postmates app. Support King and the Sting. Anything you need, anytime you need it, Postmate it. Download Postmates and save with code Kats 2020. It's Postmates for God's sakes. Hey, look. A lot of people, actually for everybody, Valentine's Day is coming up. Yeah, but you know what most people do? Like, oh, here's a box of chocolates. Yeah. Here's some flowers.

None of that stuff lasts, man. Or here's some flowers. Sometimes some girl gave me flour, dude. She didn't know what she was doing. She wanted you to cook her some cookies. I don't know what she wanted, man. Yeah. Good thing that didn't work out, dude. But listen, give the gift that keeps on giving all year round She wanted you to cook her some cookies. I don't know what she wanted, man. Yeah. Good thing that didn't work out, dude.

But listen, give the gift that keeps on giving all year round by giving you the time. It gives you the time, dude. Leave me alone. I'm doing this ad. Look, I want you guys to enjoy a stress-free Valentine's Day. You're stressing me out, dude. You're stressing that shirt out. With MVMT's, Move movements, best-selling styles,

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It's an excuse. It's not even about you. Enjoy that free extra watch strap and free gift box with every watch order. Go to MVMT.com slash K-A-T-S for your most stress-free Valentine ever. I hope I get chocolates. Dude, you are so dressed like a kid who doesn't know how to dress. That's exactly what you're dressed like today. And that hat, dude, that's for women that play doubles tennis. Doubles tennis?

Yeah. But you're both of the women. You're like, oh, they call me doubles. They call you doubles. That's a great nickname. Doubles? Yeah. Come on, you don't shop doubles.

Doubles, baby. Doubles, dog. You know doubles, baby. You know doubles? You know doubles is Doubles, baby. Doubles, dog. You know doubles, baby. You know doubles is sad for Enthio? Come on, bro. You know Mr. 2-in-1 himself. Wow. Brendan drinking out of another empty vessel.

There's no empty vessel. Why would I drink out of an empty vessel? Why do you keep saying that, dude? I don't know, man. Quit doing it. You really get so comfy. Here, have some of this. do you keep saying that, dude? I don't know, man. Quit doing it. You really get so comfy. Here, have some of this. I don't want that, dude.

Here, let me pour you a fresh glass of this. Oh, I don't want to spill it. Jesus. Brendan doesn't want to admit that he doesn't have anything in the cup, so he keeps doing this. admit that he doesn't have anything in the cup so he keeps doing this that's what's going on you can act all those acting classes finally paying off man finally playing off dude there's no water in this whole fucking building man why don't we suck some of this what is this this, dude? I need some water. I know. I need some fucking water.

Can you waterboard me? I literally have a small piece of cheese every year. I don't want that, dude. I need water, not cheese, bro. I'll have it. I'm a rat, dude. All right, what else you got, D? We got our boy Nick Vamero. This is our boy Nick.

Big Nick. Our boy, Z, where's he from? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Trying to submit a little Sink My Ink. Oh, thanks. And I was in the Navy, and one of my first horses turned me. And they had a bar where you had to walk up and all you can drink tequila shots. And I drank a couple too many of those and woke up the next morning with this wonderful pony boy tattoo.

Great. He woke up with that. He lost a bet? Yeah, he said he was getting drunk with his boy's tequila shots, and then he woke up. With that pony boy. Could have been a lot worse, my man. Could have a dick on your other shoulder and pretend it's a lighthouse. worse my man gonna have a dick on your other shoulder pretend it's a lighthouse pony boy's fun man no pony pony it up bro pony boy is basically that's your nickname

no pony boy vaughn that shit's sick dude no it ain't dude you you've never seen doubles in pony boy live that's a new band. Doubles and Ponyboy? That ain't no band, bro. And we throw double-stuffed Oreos in the crowd? No. That's gay magicians, dude. That ain't no band.

Okay? No one's going to see Doubles and Ponyboy the band. That's gay magicians. Yeah, you're right. Ooh, where is it? That's what they say the whole time. Ooh, Ponyboy, can you find can you find it doubles you're being sneaky oh man

and where are the gay magicians at dude I know I don't want to act like they're all straight but I'll tell you right now Chris Angel you ain't fooling nobody with all that god damn makeup all the fucking time and how many affliction shirts do you wear, dude? As many as they got.

Yeah, it's out of style, bro. An assless chap. Shameful on nobody. Dude, he dated Britney Spears, though, man. Yeah, sure he did. He did, man. Yeah, he tricked you into thinking he was dating Britney Spears. What?

Yeah, dude. Dude, how can you say all of this confidently in that hat? I'm talking to you with that haircut, dude. I feel pretty confident, bro. Christ, dude. That hat looks like one of those hats you get in a gift bag, and you're like, oh, fuck, they gave me this hat. Yeah, I rock you, bro. Really?

No, I'm joking, man. It looks good, man. No, it doesn't. Okay. Shout to Criss Angel, though, though dude you ain't fooling nobody you might fool my ponytail friend over here pony boy friend you ain't fooling me you tell me that's a straight man right there then bang okay you're right with them chris jenner bangs yeah come on bro great at magic though bodied up too bodied up i'll give him that yeah puts on a hell of a show mind freak hey man if he sells it he sells that magic I saw him one time I saw him how was it I don't remember I just saw him it was

too good I didn't see him perform I just saw him all at the store David Copperfield blow your mind he's good then david blaine has shown up david copperfield's 85 years old still doing it okay dude he had that me too movement because he'd be like abracadabra and you just end up on an island butt naked yeah did you hear that he's bringing girls out of the crowd but just, then fly them to an island. Really? Yeah. Let's see if you can make my dick disappear. What? Swallow it. That's not even magic.

That's not even magic. You guys are disgusting. Can't believe I'm even here today. Me neither. Let's keep this going. What was this guy's problem? It sounds like you're an alcoholic, dude. Yeah, it sounds like you make some bad It sounds like you're an alcoholic, dude. Yeah, I think that's the thing. It sounds like you make some bad life decisions when you drink tequila, dude.

What else you got? Yeah, you could have woke up with a dang husband, bro. So at least be happy. That's all you got. Yeah, dude. With a little bit of advertising. Could have woke up in Vietnam. This one's a little special.

This last one, boys. This is Victor. All right, this is our boy, Victor. All right, big Vic. Hi, guys. boys this is Victor all right it's our boy Victor all right big Vic hi guys Victor here from Sweden this is for Sink My Ink what do you think about tattoos I got my first one when I was like 21 and it got a lot Worse or more or what the fuck do you think? I also got this one

Gang gang Buzz buzz Buzz buzz, it's full of good decisions. I look out and go, dude, you got a Phil Vaughn tattoo? Fuck yeah, dude. So many good decisions. Bro, that's crazy, man. Is that definitely me you think? That's you.

I don't know what that is, bro. It's either you or Meg Ryan, dude. It'd be an angry Meg Ryan. She's punched in the face a bunch. She's had a lot of work done, so you can't tell, dude. Dude, I feel bad I didn't even get to meet this meg ryan that's punched in the face of us she's got a lot of work done so you can't tell dude dude i feel bad i didn't get to meet this guy in sweden i was in sweden i was in your country maybe he came to a show i feel bad if i didn't get to meet him though yeah that's a move dude wow man that's brave first of all you definitely like up top you seem like you've like you um like you just got a gang bang by a bunch of squids, really.

A lot of tats, man. It's brave of you. I can't. That's why I go. It's just brave. I don't know what you do for work, but once you start going on the face, it limits your options to make an income. I think it does for our generation, for like younger generation, bro. I think they can do whatever, bro.

I don't think so. You don't think? Uh-uh. You don't think so? Uh-uh. I think there's going to be a president with a face hat in the future future. Oh, wow. I like your positivity, but that ain't happening.

That ain't happening. But see, that's our mindset. If you go with a millennial mindset, dude, with these youngsters. They smoking so many drugs. They don't fucking know. That's right. That's why they're not going to care for everybody. They do it in Bali all the time. Euphoria, just fucking. They don't fucking know. That's right. That's why they're not going to care for everybody.

Euphoria just fucking each other. I'm worried about them, man. Anyways, this guy, I like it. That's my thing. It's brave, dude. To get that. I hustle every day, it says on his head. And then on his eyebrows, it says stay true. Stay true to your eyes.

I want to say this, man. Now, this gentleman has beautiful eyes, and he has nice eyes in his head. Good-looking dude, man. Tattoo your hair. God damn, bro. The blue color looks good with the blue eyes, you know? So he's at least fashionable. And like you say, he has good taste.

Got a tattoo of you on his leg. Yeah, he makes good—so we have a good taste. He makes smart decisions. A hustle every day is written on his forehead. he makes good so we have a good taste he makes smart decisions i hustle every day as written on his forehead dude i like it bro i like that i hustle every day he oh and then family on the forehead um i just have some questions what do you do for work are you a tattoo artist that would make sense now that would make sense um yeah he works at the apple store that's like yeah are you a huge fan of the movie venom and decide to get all this work done you know and try and look like tom hardy i think it's pretty cool i mean if you think back to native american they got a lot of things tattooed on their body

things written on them anything that meant something yeah you're right and it worked out for them so that's a good point they took that early L bro Real quick White man came and said Hey how you guys doing Wait where's everybody going That's what they killed him with Yep And now You know they have casinos and stuff

But still You know It's just fucked up It's not the same Imagine being If you're Native American Walking around And being like

Oh man this used to be Like my great grandparents Land and now And then a white guy Comes by Yeah right Yeah now some asshole Built a CVS on it Walking around and being like, oh, man, this used to be like my great-grandparents' land. And now it's. And then a white guy comes by. Now it's a CVS. Yeah, right. Yeah, now some asshole built a CVS on it and ruined it.

Yeah, dude. Really, it's kind of true, you know. Fucked up. Shit's heartbreaking, bro. That's life, though, isn't it? Well, I mean, that's some of the old school life where people were just beating each other for land. Like, you can't do that anymore. Trying to take over.

Mm-hmm. Trying to take over. Now you can't go beat somebody for land, you know? I have ways of doing it. Yeah, but you can, yeah, that's true. You can do it like legally through the courts. Usually the Chinese in LA. Oh, yeah.

Chinese and Persians, dude, they'll beat you for land. They'll beat you down for land, bro. That's what I'm saying. This coronavirus or whatever, if the Chinese built it, this shit will fall apart in three weeks, bro. You think you got it? You'll never get it in that hat, dude. Nobody's coming near you. I'll never get it. I'll never get it. But hat dude nobody's coming near you i'll never get but also let's keep the walls up around china dude

we don't want it bro you look like peppa the pig's handler bro that is the absolute good reference dude you have kids a little creepy but it's still good reference yeah creepy the guy who also knows what i'm talking about? Yeah, you have a kid, dude. Okay, you have two kids. Yes. Jesus, man. Well, shout out to this dude for making good decisions, though. Gang shit, bro. You got that gang hitter, dog. Frank Sinatra eyes, dude.

God bless Sweden, bro. We'll see you as soon as things get bad over here. That virus hits here, I'm headed to Sweden, dude. Bro, that virus is what you're going to catch, dude. Billy Ray thyroid over here, dude. You look you're going to catch, dude. Billy Ray thyroid over here, dude. You look like the thickest magician, bro. Africa, dab a little more

butter on that bread for me. Dab some more gravy on these taters. Oh, man. Dude, new pod. I say this all the time there's not enough podcasts out there there's not enough i need more yep my mom's doing a podcast now about conversations she and i have yeah yeah me and my dad are gonna do one on uh us arguing oh really yeah he's gonna break it down case by case apparently he's to fact check our arguments. Fact check?

Oh, yeah, you'll test positive. Here's what I want to say. There's a new podcast from Wondery Network. Oh, my God, I can't wait, dude. It's called We Crashed. We Crashed? Do you know about... Did you say Wondery?

Wondery, yeah. And We Crashed? Yeah. From Wondery? Yes. Just checking. Gosh, man. I'm just crossing my T's, dot my I.

You're hard of thinking and hard of hearing, man. Yeah, you're right. Here's what I'm saying is, no, it's about the WeWork building. You know, like where people, like when I was in Europe, touring Europe, all the buildings are WeWork buildings. Yeah, we have them out here too. You don't have to brag about being in Europe. Okay, you're right.

That is a humble brag. Yeah, there's a ton of we works out here yeah my bad dude when i was in uh also when i was in dayton ohio there's tons of we work buildings there you go but come back to reality bro dude this is the story this this podcast we crashed is the story behind we work and how it all and how it was headed up to be like the next big thing. Like basically the Tesla of like working. Office space? Yes. Yeah.

They're like the Tesla of office space. Thank you, dude. And then how it all came crashing down. Dude, I'm foaming at the mouth listening to this thing. We crashed, dude. Dude, here it is. The host David Brown digs into what happened between WeWork's initial $47 billion valuation

to Adam Neumann being forced to pull the stock's IPO. Resigns as CEO and watch the shareholders value nosedive on just 40 days. Dude, here's the thing. Scott Galloway serves as a key advisor. By 2019, Adam Neumann had 15,000 employees. A private jet. And stood poised to become the world's first trillionaire with WeWork. Or so he thought.

Not up in here. Neumann's vision of WeWork was more than just renting office spaces. He said it would change the world. All right. You're going to hear about this real F-tard and how he really dropped it all. Conflicts of interest, mismanagement, and losses. Soon had investors doubting the success despite a desperate desire to crown the

next tech unicorn. Dude, here's the thing around the water cooler. People are saying it's the largest destruction shareholder value since Enron. Wow, dude. If that doesn't get your ears a rat. Isn't Enron a racial slur? Isn't it a running back for the Dallas Cowboys? Yeah, it might be.

Donnie Enron. don't miss don't miss the january 29th premiere of wonder he's we crashed on apple podcasts all right boys a little debate club let's get into that next uh first what is this show even about dude that's not what are you doing dude you freaking little hidden boy over there what are you doing taking out young women and being 57 years old the whole time like you want to have a seat You freaking little hidden boy over there. What are you doing? You're a real K-pop star today. Taking out young women and being 57 years old the whole time. You want to have a seat? All right.

All right, Chris Hansen. You're not fooling nobody, Chin. Trying to take out that 21-year-old at your fucking age, 53. Nice try, bro. And then getting her to fucking guzzle a bunch of sake and charging on our card. You got some nerve, bro. Chris Hans chris henson chris handsome oh have a lead oh chris that's racist bro this shit is getting racist this shit is getting racist what are you guys up to derrick me i haven't heard anything out of you guys today i'm chilling man, man. You've just been smoking weed. Yeah. I like to watch the show the best way possible.

Kat, how are you adjusting to single life? So far, so good. You know, keeping my feet hidden, waiting for the one. Are people asking? Yes. You're just waiting for the one. To show my feet to. Are you a serial dater?

Or do you like to go on a bunch of dates? She just broke up, Brendan. I mean, I really don't know. I've been with the same dude since I was like 14. Oh, my God. This is all very new. I mean, that's crazy. Hey.

Yeah, I feel you. Hey. Don't touch me, dude. I said it accidentally. We're about to film fucking Cat Gone Wild, dude. Fucking Cat Gone Wild. What? Cat Gone Wild, baby. What it do dude baby baby we're about to go to

the pound huh yeah we are dude dang uh so you don't know what to do huh cat figuring it out is your how's he doing your sister is he doing all right yeah he's doing good check up on him every now and then yeah it's tough man going through breakups is tough breakups suck man what going through breakups is tough you know. Breakups suck, man. What? Going through breakups is tough, you know? Yeah, but everyone has to do them, you know? That's true. It's like getting shots.

Just do it. Wait, what? You don't have to do it. Yeah, you got to do it, dude. You got to get your vaccinations, bro. You got to have your heart broke every now and then. Dude, you ever walked into a room and you can't find the lights, you know? Yeah.

That's Brendan when he's trying to, in a sentence. Oh, you ever walk into a room and you can't find the lights, you know? Yeah. That's Brendan when he's trying to, in a sentence. Oh, we get to touch on the wall? Or it's you just in life. He just constantly. And then finding the light and then punching it. And then going next

and then punching it. Why does he keep finding stuff and then ruining it? I don't know. He just doesn't know what to do. Brendan also referred to. He found a bunch of money. Set it on fire.

Brendan referred to a filing cabinet once as a warm, strange refrigerator. So let's be rational. Hey, you refer to your therapist as your best friend. Okay. Her name's Rhonda. Get us through this. Get me out of here, man. A debate club.

It's our boy Sean, everybody. This is Sean. Sean out there. Is he an astronaut? What is he? Hey, Theo, Brennan, what's up? What's up, Sean? I'm up here in the Northwest Territories.

I'm building ice roads. It's minus 58 degrees Fahrenheit. I converted it for you. I got a little debate club for you. Hockey fights or baseball fights? Gang rape, butt fudge. Oh. Oh.

That ice. Oh. Oh, shit. God, that's a lonely gig, man. Your best friend's a fucking penguin. Yeah. Hockey fights or baseball fights? This is what's always interesting.

How racist are fights in sports because if it happens the nba people freak out everybody gets suspended like the ncaa the kansas state that guy suspended for the year a white guy a white guy fucking punches another white guy in hockey and one's like yeah that's what we came for. Yeah, I think hockey, I mean, a lot of, they've really toned down the hockey fights. It used to be more fighty. And now they don't have as many fights. I think a lot of people are upset about that. But if I had to pick one of the other, man, I liked baseball.

The bat is out there, too. And that's what I don't understand. People always throw the bat off and then fight. Well, there's rules to baseball. You can't be charging them out with a bat yeah you can brother do you remember when you remember that dude charged nolan ryan nolan ryan just that old man straight beat the fuck up got him in the head but those are the old days where somebody got you in a headlock you stayed in it like it was like you didn't know what to do. Yeah, you then had a responsibility

of, oh, I have to stay in the headlock. Remember when that white guy charged Sammy Sosa and they got him that tussle and all the cream came off his face? Wait, what? Do you remember that? He's super slippery? You don't remember that? No, and then all the white dude ended up on Sammy Sosa's

face years later. Which is the crazy part. Apparently the guy had skin problems. All the bleach fucked his skin up. Well, yeah, I just got an email. Sammy Sosa's going to hatch sometime later this year. He's just going to fly off into the distance. I like hockey fights.

I expect them. It's kind of cool to see two grown men on ice fight each other. Yeah, and it's something beautiful about seeing men fight on skates. Yeah, but I also like when they grab each other's shirts and pull them over their head Oh cool bully stop yeah But baseball for sure baseball you see a lot of it when you do this what's great about baseball everybody jumps in Yeah anything can happen you can get out there and sneak somebody, you remember when Pedro Martinez threw the 80-year-old coach? Oh, yeah. Tommy Lasorda, he threw him.

That's right. And the old dude was like, well, I charged him. That old Yankees ball coach, yeah. How do you feel? He was like, hey, I was trying to kick his ass. That's right. It was awesome. I like baseball fights.

Yeah. I would love to see somebody throw something in somebody's eyes or something glitter somebody's face and then punch them. That'd be cool. Because then the guy, you're going to have to see him after in the interview, has glitter all over his face. That's a good point. You have to finish the game with glitter on his face.

Oh, yeah, dude. Dude, glitter is such an underused substance, I think. Absolutely. Hockey's also weird, too, because when those two white dudes fight with it's one dude's job that's all he does like you can't he doesn't have any skills yeah his only skill is kind of skating he's just like a hell's angel on ice yeah like trill lambert he's just out there just beating people remember basketball used to have bill lambert just a guy who was just supposed to punch people when they came near the rim dude j, Jordan got lots of fights, dude. Old NBA?

Those were the good days. Old NBA was good. It was all better when you could fight a little bit more, when they would let it out on the court. Now it's like it's all, I don't know what's going on, bro. It's definitely gotten different. It's gotten more organized. What do the fans say? Fans say it's 79% hockey.

People love those hockey fights, man. Men on ice. Men on ice. But just staying there, they just keep punching each other. Just someone gets fucked up. This is my thing. When does the ref know when to break it up? I never do that.

Because you see the refs kind of jump it sometimes. Then you see one bad fucking bruiser be knocking bitches out with one shot. Yeah, dude. I think you have to have a level of that going on because there needs to be a level of relieving the tension. It's part of the game. It's part of the game. You had an enforcer, that's right. When I was in Denver, I had an avalanche player.

I forget his name, but he was our main enforcer. And he came to the gym and asked me to teach him proper techniques for punching. Really? At the time I was in the UFC. I'm like, I've never fought on ice before. I don't know what to tell you. It's not's not like what do you want me to do dude yeah you're like dude look i'll be honest with you i've fucking uh i've uh i've fed myself two packs of ham with the refrigerator door still open but that's about that close yeah i've had an

icing on a fight before that's it Yeah he's like oh for practice We're gonna drink these real cold smoothies And then punch each other I've had a brain freeze I felt like I really let him down I'm telling you Oh so you don't have any techniques or nothing I'm like no man

You're on skates Get the fuck out of yeah can you guys moonwalk where he's asking him all these weird questions how cold is it oh you can't wear a scarf you guys eat orange slices at halftime are they warm up next is uh dominique from Michigan. Dominique, my balls, dude. Sorry, man. Yay, shit, man. This is my boy Dom Dom from Grand Rapids right there. Donnie.

What's up, boys? Dominic out of Michigan here. Got a debate club topic for you. So with World War III coming up, what's a better way to dodge a draft? Enrolling in college or failing a drug test. Need to know. Clock's ticking.

Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, brother. This guy looks like he'd be an actor in like a movie like that. Yeah, he does. Like a Wild Western movie or like Dunkirk. It's like Adrian Brody or something. Or like a talent job

fucking 17 or something. He's gonna rob a bank. Yeah, I could see him robbing a bank on a horse or on like a big goat yeah yeah yeah there's something about him there was always that kid dude like whenever sometimes we have horses when we're young dude and uh there was always that kid that would show up on a goat and you were like what the fuck dude yeah did you get the memo bro he'd pretend it was a horse he'd'd be like, yeah, this old guy.

Why does your goat have pogs on it, dude? Why does your horse have horns? Why is your horse just eating garbage? While the rest of our horses are galloping, he'd be like, yeah. And he would make the horse's sounds out the side of his mouth. He'd be like yeah and he would make the horse's sounds out the side of his mouth he'd be like whoa boy whoa don't go

shut the fuck up what the fuck you trying to do meanwhile meanwhile his horse was just finishing off a milk carton meanwhile his horse was chewing on a license plate meanwhile his horse was just polishing off

a couple light bulbs. Shut the fuck up! Man, I miss those days, man. Yeah, me too, man. We always had this boy named Roy, and he was thick, too, dude. He was homosexual as well. there had early onset homosexuality oh yeah a little sugar in his tank from a young age only sugar in his tank oh that's

sweet and low oh dude and then at some points no tank just a whole bunch of sugar that's when he got worried hey is he the one who showed up on that goat yeah and he always wanted us to play all these back he all had us play these battleship games they had a big bathtub so he'd always always play these battleship games. They had a big bathtub In there Usually want to build like forts and then be like you hide in this one No, this deal is all about the high seas man. He was one of those naval gays, you know One of them original sea monkey. That's what I'm saying. One of them old-school water g, bro. Shout out Doug Jeezy's, bro. Shout out to Atlanta's

gays. Gang, bro. What else are we doing? You gotta answer the question. Oh, Dunkirk, I think. Was that one of the answers? What's the better way to dodge the draft? Enroll in college or fail a drug test? I think you can get in with a failed drug test these days. They'll take you.

Anybody. A failed drug test can get you in? Can they get you out of the military? I don't think so. It usually gets you into the military. Yeah, he's like, yeah, we'll take you. Can you hold a gun? I would probably take off one of my thumbs or something. Yeah, I'd probably stab myself in the eye or some shit.

Just cut your thumb off, dude. Keep your eyes, bro. No, you'll still go in with a thumb, bro. But you don't want to be that one-eyed guy in the lunch line. Yeah, you're right. So you got to say it to him in a way he can relate to it. Yeah, you're right, Doug. They're not going to take us because we're too old.

No, we're not. For the draft, we are. I'm not. Yeah, you are. You are. You are. You're too old. I'll fight, boy.

Oh, my God. Imagine you on the front line with that helmet all baggy. Oh, whatever, boy. Oh my God, you on the front line? With the helmet all baggy? Yeah. Oh, could you imagine you fire in the air? It won't stop! Can you imagine Brendan over there with his tight-ass

little helmet? His grenades are just going off because they can't even stay on his belt anymore how about you were there like dude like I had some fucking why he's carrying those two canteens of water behind him like that like those are his ass cheeks yeah don't worry about that why is it just his cheeks yeah why is that guy yeah damn that dude got some some fucking grenades hanging out the back, bro. Oh, those are his cheats, buddy.

Ain't nobody doing the wrong thing. Why is that guy bringing licorice to a gunfight? Why does that guy keep asking if we have Dunkaroos? Shut the fuck up about snacks. We haven't even started. Dude, that guy said nine MREs, and we're only on the bus to basic. This guy is not doing well. Hey, who put the big boy in the tank?

He's just hanging out on the outside all the time. He keeps taking pictures of his shoes going pre-war kicks. Get off your phone! And then his friend who's always sad with the mullet keeps talking about old stories from his hometown. Wow. Brendan's going to be so shocked when he can't load bullets into his black rifle coffee. He's going to fucking lose it.

It's okay, I'm already armed. No, going to fucking lose it. It's okay. I'm already armed. No, you aren't, pussy. Okay. Caffeine ain't a weapon. Get me out of here. What I want to tell you, man, is I think you should be

in a Western, dude, if you had to choose one. Yeah, I agree. I think you should sell everything to Hollywood. What was he? Yeah, Abe Lincoln. 72% failed drug tests. That's what our people went with. Yeah, I don't know. This day and age sell everything to Hollywood. Yeah. A-blanket. 72% failed drug tests.

That's what our people went with. Yeah, I don't know. This day and age, you ain't gay. I'd take a digit off. Then at least you'd have a good story about it. People are like, oh, why don't you have your thumb? Like, oh, because I don't want to be in the war. But is it still don't ask, don't tell?

Because you just say you're gay. Oh, yeah. Actually, I think they let it. You can be gay in there. You're like, oh, yeah, you're gay? Let me see it. What? They make you prove it. Brandon would try it. He'd be like, I think they let it. You can be gay in there. You're like, oh, yeah, you're gay? Let me see it. Oh, what? They make you prove it.

Brandon would try it. He'd be like, I'm gay. They're like, yeah, that'll still get you in. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, dude. I'm thick? Nope. Oh, thick and gay?

They're going to love you in here, dude. Thick and gay? Get on it, bro. Are you kidding me? You're a general. You're a general. What's happening, dude? You can be one of the Jeeps. You're an MRAP, dude.

We're all going to ride on your back. Can you swim? You're a submarine of his own? Where is everybody? Hey, man. you got this. Yeah. Oh good. Alright, last one boys.

This is our boy Lawrence from Manchester. Hey Larry. Lawrence from Manchester. Sup Theo. Sup Brendan. Sup bruv. Lawrence from Manchester, UK. Bro, easy with the hair run here.

Eyebrows bro. What's a better film? The Green Mile or Shawshank Redemption. Gang Gang Buz Buz. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. easy with the hair on your eyebrows bro what's a better film The Green Mile or Shawshank Redemption gang gang buzz buzz

gang gang brother buzz buzz buzz buzz money I'm pretty sure Stephen King wrote both of those when have you ever been pretty sure

of something I want to freaking call that in a question pretty sure correct he wrote both did he really? I read both three books.

Nothing better than Shawshank. I mean, that's one of the greatest films. Top three of all time. Over John Covey. Like the drink does not spill. Yeah, I didn't like the way they treated John Covey. It was a circus mouse. He's a circus mouse.

It's so good. Dude, green mouth. That shit's so sad. It's good. It's long, though. It's super long. He throws up shit's so sad It's good It's long though It's super long He throws up those weird Like spirit things

Yeah that's when I got Too spacey for me That's when I was like What's happening right now He's all It's like Yeah Fucking

The devil Yeah I didn't buy that shit Oh yeah he threw up that lord It was like throwing up The positive energy Into somebody else Yeah he was throwing up The evil

He sucked the cancer Out of that dude's wife And then threw it up on another dude crazy god that dude sucked yeah i'm out dude um i don't know that was good man but nothing's gonna take shawshank i think you gotta stay shawshank man shawshank you know fucking that ending is that what take a man to get out of this ain't nothing man shawshank's on i watch dude yep sh Shawshank's on. I watch, dude. Yep. Shawshank's on. I watch. What's up, dog? AMC movies, baby. AMC.

Shut the AMC down. Calm down, boy. What do the fans say, D? The fans? 69% went with The Shank, bro. You got to. The fact that 40% went with Green Mile. I need to watch Green Mile again.

It's so good. It's good. It's sad. It's sad. Shawshank's happy. Shawshank's cool went with Green Mile. I need to watch Green Mile again. It's so good. It's good. It's sad. It's sad. Shawshank's happy. Shawshank's cool. Yeah, it is happy. Every movie's giving you high as fuck all day.

I know, dude. Yeah, you think Shawshank's a comedy. That was for life as a shit. He told me that Legoland was real sad the other day. It is, dude. He told me It 2's hilarious. It 2 is funny. No haters in it. He told me it too is hilarious. It's funny. The later's in it.

He told me, he said, dude, you know what's a fucking riot? That's Schindler's List. He was like, man, Boy in the Striped Pajamas. I can't wait until they come out with a sequel. Shit was priceless, man. All right, guys, let's wrap it up.

Ping it or sting it, and then we'll be done. Up first, this is christian that's our girl christian i got christian theo brennan i got a king in her sting it for you little ones got a little deal going on she's due for a haircut is what she's about due for and i'm telling you right now look at this m mullet. King it or sting it, boys. Come on. Baby mullets.

Baby mullets? I think king them, man. A baby, because they don't know what's going on. You might as well let them have a little bit of flair out the back. Now, you don't want anything that a dog could grab onto. You don't want to have too much back there where a dog, you don't want to braid it back there and that's something a dog could grab onto. But also, that's the Lord's the lord the lord is your stylist and he wants

your kid to have that mullet yeah and with your accent i'm sure other people dig it down i think in fact if you cut that baby's hair i think you have some problems yeah i think you let that ricky bobby flow you feel me yeah dude If you cut that baby's hair, you're not going to be on city council next year. I'm telling you. Okay? So I think you got to let that little. I king that shit. Let that tot rock, baby.

Let that tot rock. Let that tot rock, dog. All right, boys. Up next, this is William. William, you're about to rob a bank. Brendan, Theo, king it or stingit, doing your own yard work. Oh, wow. Jesus Christ, dude.

Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, William. That sweatshirt's dirty as fuck. He's doing yard work. You want him to be in a damn ball gown? Well, he hasn't started though that's what there's dog hair on and shit well he's asking us should we do it himself or not dude if we say no this guy will never do his yard ever yeah you're right you're the yard work guy

man i always see with the i love it man the ficuses i i think listen man if you're a grown man you're a dad you got to put in that lawn-y time, dude. No one appreciates a nice lawn than doing it yourself. I wash my cars myself. I do my lawn myself. Amen. Get out there with these hoes, man. Hell yeah.

Yeah, I like that, dude. Water these hoes down, bro. I like to wash my own car, man. I do like that. And if I had a yard, I would probably go out there and do something. It's relaxing, man. Is it? Yeah, I love it.

Praise God, brother. Hell yeah. So yeah, William, I say take care of your yard, man. First of all, I can tell you right now, your neighbors are pissed, bro. Okay? Because you have a lot. And look, I gave it a couple of years worth of leaves in there. Hold on.

When you say you're doing your own yard work, are you at a park? Dude, that's a park. That ain't no... Yeah, do you live in an apartment and you're just lying to us? Are you at some random park and showing us all these leaves? Dude, that would take months to clean all that up, dude. Is that a Shetland pony as well in that leaf pile right there? Yeah, what's happening, man?

It looks like he's just at a fucking your local park, man. What about Tiny Tom? Have y'all ever seen the world's smallest pony? Tom Thumb is his name? I don't like ponies, man. Hey, can we bring up a picture of Tom Thumb,

world's smallest pony? Griss Angel. You guys don't know shit. Tiny Tom? You remember Rob Dyrdek? Rob Dyrdek bought a pony. Said that thing was a beast man Really Yeah he said it was like

Exhausting Get some images Of that animal There you go Right there Oh my god It was like a midget pony Praise god

No that's world's smallest Right there Tom Thumb I met him Oh was he nice Yeah It was It looks like he'd be A little bitch though

Like his attitude. Because he gets a lot of attention, you know what I'm saying? Oh, he definitely, I think he had kind of an air about him. It was after lunch when I met him. Oh, okay. So he wasn't hungry. Yeah, he's like in a good mood. But anyway, beautiful animal.

Is he still alive? I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is, man. I don't believe this is this guy's lawn, but I definitely should. I believe in doing your own lawn work, dude. Yeah. Especially if you have a riding mower, man. Oh, God.

Some of the new riding mowers, man. You put a riding mower on top of a Roomba, and you can just fall asleep, dude. You're good, man. That'll take care of your whole yard. That sounds nice, dude. What's the fans say? I'm sure you'll do it yourself. They just want to know what y'all said.

It's King and all day, dog. Yeah, I say King it, man. Get out there and do it. Do your shit. Get that action, bro. Wink at the neighbors, dude. Take your shirt off. Hell yeah, get that tan going.

Get a smoke going. And then burn that pile of leaves with your own cigarette and a little bit of gasoline. And then cook a frank on it while it's burning. Yeah, let the neighbors know what the fuck's up, dude. Dude, I like franks that have been cooked on gasoline-only fueled fires, brother. None of this charcoal shit.

Yeah, I agree. Those are nice. I like to taste a Pontiac in the back end of my Frank. A little Trans Am fluid on my fucking dog. I like them dogs sweaty, too, man. I like them to sweat

and get a little bit, a little crispy and then burst a little bit and put down the toaster bun. A little sauerkraut, a little crispy and then burst a little bit. And put down the toaster bun. A little sauerkraut, a little mustard, dude. I fucking deep throat that whole thing. Dude, I thought you were trying to get the guy out of the military, okay? You're trying to get him back into the military.

Well, you told me. Or at least to the Navy, dude. You'll get drafted directly into the Navy if you make that video, man. 100%. What else we got? This is our last one. This is Connor. This is our boy Connor. Hey Navy if you make that video, man. 100%. What else we got? This is our last one. This is Connor. This is our boy Connor.

Hey, Theo. Hey, Brendan. Connor Hayes out here. It could be Ari Jafir. Anderson, Oklahoma, just a little bit outside of Tulsa. One of y'all's tinging or stinging on hunting. Have you done it? Would you do it?

What are your viewpoints on it? I know Theo used to fight chimpanzees for fun, so I feel like he probably has a pretty good take on it. Howie 190. Anyways, dang-a-lang, big nuts. Dang-a-lang, big nuts. He's whispering. He doesn't want to scare them animals away.

But I also think your giant bright orange hat might give you away as well. Well, that's because you don't want other hunters to shoot you. Dude, you're hunting the wrong parts then, bro. I don't want other hunters to shoot you. Ah, dude, you're hunting the wrong parts then, bro. I don't know. You look like a guy that goes hunting at a spa. Okay? Dude, I say, here's what I say. Get out there with a weapon.

Get a knife. Get two knife. Get a fork and a knife and sneak up with an animal the old-fashioned way. Bow hunting, I dig it, man. But I think sometimes the rifle stuff, bullet tree too far off man you too you know i'm saying you two you two counties over and you're killing a fucking iguana or something that thing never even knew you existed yeah when you're hunting fucking panthers with a drone i got no respect also don't listen to theo on hunting only thing he's hunted with dudes downtown there's i i like i also like bow hunting i get down with hunt it's

just not for me man because i'll be the guy when you shoot that animal i'm crying i like animals i think deer is the cutest fuck i don't want to gut this thing like fucking jeffrey dommer then carry it back fucking all these miles i'm down for the hike and all that but when you shoot that thing i won't turn my back dude yeah I like, I think if you shoot it, but you got to go up there and be with it while it dies. That's my thing. I think you need to talk to him

like Avatar and whisper in his ear, go, say what the my, yeah. Yeah. Remember that? Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah, I think if there's a little bit more of a bedside, what's that called? Your bedside manner. You got a good bedside manner with these animals, you know? Also, you can't have heat-seeking fucking missiles and shit blowing up reindeer. Yeah, you can't be

killing something in Missouri from Denver. Some of that stuff is just too much. So I think if you got that silverware style where you sneak up with a sharp knife or you sneak up with a sword and you fucking take it to a raccoon, I get it, man. All day. And look, as many raccoons as you want to kill fuck

them bro it's out there raising hell bro i like raccoons they look like burglars their hands are cool yeah i like them wow you're going to hell maybe yeah well yeah i i i like hunting and it's cool if you want to hunt man and eat your own shit that's cool i just don't want to see it i don't like getting out there and being all hungry either no i'll piggyback with you and i forget we're hunting and i try to be and then i'll be loud you know yeah i'll start suddenly i'll just watch an episode of king of the hill on my phone without a headphone and people are like what in the head and i keep asking where's the snacks at we just started oh that's me too dude dude you got any snacks bro do we just started dude yeah we got to kill what we i know but i see nothing yeah why don't you kill a pack of

gushers into my hand i'm sorry we hunted this naked and afraid Because I'm fucking starving bro Yeah And why is your clothes hot Brendan I thought it was naked and afraid Brendan hunts at Kroger I'm scared we're not going to find any food And I'm naked Yeah dude why are you naked Why are you naked

You fucking idiot there's no camera crew Shut up to hunting though Dude Guys you doing Some bad asses That's it big fellas That's it boys That's it doggy dog

Awesome man I'll see you guys Coming up Soon somewhere Where you gonna be dog At the end of the month I'll be in Toronto

At the end of February I'll be in Toronto Go see Ponyboy Ponyboy I'll be in Red Bank I'll be in uh toronto at the end of february i'll be in toronto you'll see pony boy i'll be in red bank uh i'll be in oroville casino for february 15th come out there for thanks for uh valentine's day you said thanksgiving bro i'm in uh where am i i'm in san antonio this week thursday friday saturday san antonio and then for valentine's day weekend, I'm in Ontario, California. Oh, nice. Baby. So bring your loved ones and figure it out, man. Amen.

All right. Race My Case returns next week from fan-submitted videos. And relationship advice. We had some, but we need some more. We'll bring it back. Keep it classy. And we're pretty close on a new merch launch, so we'll keep you guys posted. And thank you guys for supporting the podcast.

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