The Golden Hour - Episode 55: Valentines Day Special 2020

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

The guys celebrate Valentines Day and invite Shapel Lacey and Craig Conant to fill in for today's Culture Corner. The guys talk Parasite, Theo's Growing Butt, Relationship Advice... for the Broke, Powdered Pigeons, K-Swiss Coffins, Penile Bones, White Castle Reservations, All New Race My Case's, BBQ Romance, Bull Riding and much more!Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsSimplisafe - https://simplisafe.com/katsHims - https://forhims.com/katsButcherBox - https://butcherbox.com/kats use promo code: KATS at checkoutSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 back off my broccolini get your life together don't touch me bro i'm not touching you but 10 you always look like a real love bird i feel like thank you real korean angel you know chin walk around with all this swag because this boy won every goddamn award for Parasite Did you guys win Parasite? Yeah, we won And what's it about that virus? It's not about the virus It's the coronavirus, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:00:32 No Just watch the movie You have to watch the movie You understand how a parasite works And that's kind of what the movie does But I heard someone said you have to read the movie That's true You do have to read subtitles
Starting point is 00:00:42 But you'll be lost in it It'll be amazing Trust me How much is it to get like a Korean guy to read subtitles, but you'll be lost in it. It'll be amazing. Trust me. How much is it to get a Korean guy to sit there and tell you what's happening? Just whisper? How much would you charge? I would be the worst translator. Really?
Starting point is 00:00:55 My Korean's terrible. And my English is not that great either. Yeah, I struggle with that myself. Just get Bobby Lee. What's up? Just get Bobby. Yeah, yeah. Bobby, he doesn't speak Korean.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Yeah, he does. Does he? Yeah. Yeah, you've seen. Yeah, yeah. Bobby, he doesn't speak Korean. Yeah, he does. Does he? Yeah, he does. Yeah, you've seen his dick, bro. Yeah, he speaks it visually. Yeah. Visually. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Visually. Yeah, we know he's pure Korean. Yeah, yeah. Visually. He's 700% Korean. Visually. In the penis, yeah. Happy Valentine's Day.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Happy Valentine's Day, dog. Good to see you today, man. Yeah, man. Nick went all out with the studio here. It's beautiful. Damn, no, you dude. Russell Stover? Nothing says I love you like a box of cheap-ass chocolates, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:37 What do you mean? Those are good. You like them? That's the best chocolate $3.99 can buy, baby. That's right, dog. Are you getting your girl something? Yeah, I'm going to have to because she actually was here last night helping me decorate. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Does she want some chocolate? Because we probably won't eat all of that. She saw them already. Oh, I love how Brendan says we probably won't eat something. I said we probably won't eat all of them. Okay. Like anybody's ever believed that when you said that, man. Dude, Valentine's Day is a bunch of fucking bullshit.
Starting point is 00:02:05 Let's be real, man. What, bro? It's a made-up holiday from Hallmark. Nah, man. It's for love, dude. Yeah? Yeah. You going right into it, huh?
Starting point is 00:02:13 You got to get your aortas open, dude. Damn, dog. You trying to get this episode off of Corrette? Dude, I'm trying to clog my heart with chocolate. Bro, we have the culture corner looks at. Hell of culture today, bro. You want to introduce your buddies? My buddies.
Starting point is 00:02:31 People are going to be like, damn, Derek and Kat really changed it up, man. People are going to be like, Kat has the coronavirus on her. Kat grew a beard and looks like she sells fucking fish tacos. Or just fish, bro. People are going to be sad. Introduce yourselves, man. Oh, man. I know, right?
Starting point is 00:02:52 Man. Come on. It's a day of love, man. It is love, but I want them to do their thing, man. Okay. What's up? I'm Craig. Craig.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Craig. Come. Sea dog. Do we? I just did that now. Introduce your buddy. Dude, I'm Craig. Craig, Craig. We call him C-Dawg. Do we, dude? I just did that now. Yeah, dude. Introduce your buddy. Dude, that's Craig.
Starting point is 00:03:09 That's Chappelle. Two fucking beast comics. It's so culture. Because when I said, I said, we should have Craig on. Yeah. Because he goes, we need a Mexican. I said, dude, I saw Craig said he's hilarious. Thank you, buddy.
Starting point is 00:03:22 And then I sent him your Instagram. He goes, oh, yeah, I know Craig. And I said, he goes, dude, how Mexican can he be if his name's Craig? Well, he didn't say Craig Conant. He said, hey, man, you got to have Craig. We'll have Craig on him. I'm like, I don't know if Craig sounds real Mexican, bro. I'm whitewashed.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Are you really? Yeah. What percent Mexican are you? I'm half. Hell, yeah. Yeah, my mom's full Mexican and my's white as fuck and where'd they meet at high school? Oh, yeah I'm on high in Harbor City or LaMita. Oh, well Mexicans love high school, dude Little high school sweethearts, huh? Are they still together?
Starting point is 00:04:11 No. No, of course not. Come on. It's America. Yeah, you're right. Damn, bro. And then the fans know Chappelle. He's on number four. And here's Craig right here actually appearing on MTV's Next we have.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yeah. Let's see this. Let's see him. Oh, shit. MTV's Next we have. Yeah. Let's see this. Let's see him. Oh, shit. That's you, Craig? Yeah. Hey! Hey, I'm a polo. Hi, Doug. Hi, I'm Brittany. I'm Craig. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Okay. Won this first race here. Now it's time to switch it up a little bit. I'm gonna take Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Okay. Won this first race here. Now it's time to switch it up a little bit. I'm going to take you to a surprise. All right. Sounds good. This way. You look like a Hanson twin, bro. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Oh, shit, man. You look so great. I haven't watched that. What happened on the date? I won. Did you? And then what happened? She kneed me in the nuts
Starting point is 00:05:05 and we kissed and then he said you want the money or the girl and I was like I want the money type move and then he said
Starting point is 00:05:12 choose the girl because it looks better for TV and I was like well I want the money and then he's like just choose the girl I'll give you both and I actually got both
Starting point is 00:05:20 you did yeah and who was the girl what was her name Brittany oh wow and what do you mean you got both
Starting point is 00:05:24 like did you guys hang out after the show? That's what was so confusing. I thought it was going to be like a whole other date set up by MTV. And then when it wrapped, I was like, what's up? And they're like, go get her number. I was like, that's it? That's all it was. It's like, you do it.
Starting point is 00:05:39 That show was fun, though. MTV's next? Yeah. I was young. It was a good show. I like the to limit date. We also got Chappelle Lacey are coming back, man.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Thanks for coming back, Chappelle. Thanks for having me back. Have you ever been on a game show or not? No. Do I look like I play games? Dang. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:55 You're a cheerleader. It's not far-fetched. Not to say it. It's not like. That's true. Chappelle is one of my bad. One of America's
Starting point is 00:06:04 strongest cheerleaders. Dude, what about that new show, Cheer? Are you watching that? I haven't seen it yet. You're going to love it. But I am excited that people are getting a new understanding of cheer. Yeah, you're going to love it, dude. Oh, y'all think that's funny?
Starting point is 00:06:16 All right. I know you got that good map talk, Chappelle. Were you the guy like, yes! I was very difficult to cheer with because I was just like... Oh, yeah, an ego. No, I didn't have an ego. I'm just like... An ego.
Starting point is 00:06:28 You couldn't fuck up around me. You had a high standard. Yeah. Oh, you're just like this one kid on the cheer episode. There's a dude like that. He's super athletic and talented. Yeah, that was me. And if these white girls mess up, he's...
Starting point is 00:06:40 Oh, bro, I would go crazy. I think he hits them off camera. I did not do that. Noah would probably just be hanging out and just have people. He'd show up at cheer practice with a couple people to check stand pacing on his shoulders. That's his training. Ready. Ready.
Starting point is 00:06:53 You'll love it, though. You should keep it. Well, look, we got some culture here today, man. And you guys are representing a couple different cultures. And we're happy to have you guys here today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys for being here.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Feel free to just be a part of the show, man. Chime in. Nick looking extra freaking. Extra. Extra birdie today. Thank you. Thank you guys for being here. Feel free to just be a part of the show, man. Chime in. Nick looking extra frickin' extra birdie today. I like being festive and because it's Valentine's Day, we've got relationship advice for the first time in weeks. Man, it's about time because people
Starting point is 00:07:17 in DM me like, what are we going to do, man? Relationships falling apart. Bring it back. Nick looks like he got bit by a big pigeon. That street pigeon. I get it. Bro, you look like a Thanksgiving turkey in fucking Taiwan. I'm just joking, Nick.
Starting point is 00:07:39 No, it's all good, man. You look like you're going to shoot people with a coronavirus. You look like you're going to shoot people with a coronavirus. First relationship advice. We got Max from Nebraska. All right, give it to us, Maxie. And Max, I'm from Nebraska. I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and I'm so broke.
Starting point is 00:08:01 So broke. What should I do for Valentine's Day? Gang, gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz young man great brows he mentioned in the emails that his boyfriend
Starting point is 00:08:10 loves Valentine's Day too it's his favorite holiday oh that's frustrating I don't know what do you do how do you come in broke how do you come on that
Starting point is 00:08:17 broke Valentine is he that broke cause he got a name tag he's at work he's at work dude he's doing this I don't know where he's at he looks like he's at Panera Bread Chipotle Dude, he's doing this at, I don't know where he's at. He looks like he's at Chinatown or some shit.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Chipotle. That's a Chipotle badge. Is it? I don't know. It looks like Panera. Panera bread. You could carve a heart or something. A panini.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Make a heart out of a panini. Get creative with it. You don't have to go all out. Get your girl or your man a Gucci bag or something like that. That's what Valentine's Day is about, bro. You could steal stuff. You could. Yeah, you could.
Starting point is 00:08:49 You could get creative at home. Decorate some shit. You're dicking a box, bro. You're paniniing a box. Decorate your butt. Paint it up. Paint it up. Decorate your breasts. Your man breasts for your guy. Get a spray tan with a heart around your booty.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Yeah. That'll work. Theo got a butt. Theo got a butt. Theo got some cheeks. Dude, I don't know what's happening, man. I think my butt keeps growing. Do you do squats and stuff?
Starting point is 00:09:15 No. I mean, sometimes I'll drop something and get it. That might be enough for you, though, you know? That might be enough. Dude, I'm afraid to even pick anything up anymore. I need to get a dog to just lift stuff up to me. Because if I do anything else, man. A lifting dog?
Starting point is 00:09:27 My butt's just going to take over. No jeans. You can't wear jeans. Dude, I'm thinking about getting four faces chiseled into one of my ass cheeks. I'm just saying, it's getting... Whose faces? It's getting thick back here, dude. Do you have black in you?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Probably Cesar Chavez. Hey, welcome to Thick Nation bro welcome to Thick Nation bro yeah dude that thick ass dude you got that new thick boy top on
Starting point is 00:09:51 what's up dog do I have black in me I don't know I think I definitely had to work outdoors a lot I'll put it like that okay I get you back in the day
Starting point is 00:09:57 like one of my grandparents did I think we definitely you know I just feel like somebody fucked a burrow or something yeah you know cause I feel like we could be cousinsrow or something yeah you know because i feel like we could be cousins because you i got an ass you got an ass from the back yeah from the back people
Starting point is 00:10:10 like damn who are these little fuck damn look at these two these little busters dude he's too thick it's hard having a big butt because it makes the rest of your body look like it's leaning forward that's what i don't like but he gives gives you good posture. Yeah. Because you're always kind of like this. You know, like you're always just going to tip over. You got that Nicki Minaj, bro. I didn't know either. To fans like, dude, you got to check out Theo's cheeks. I'm like, he's always hiding them, bro.
Starting point is 00:10:35 He's always hiding them, yeah. With what? Dude, a sheet? Who knows, dude. You're always covering them up on stage. What do you think? You got like these fucking coats on, these trench coats and shit get them out let the cheeks breathe i told you this man bro i want to breathe man and they're hot too they make my whole body hot yeah like when you do shows in hawaii they retain heat hey jay your butt retains heat no yeah when you go to hawaii bronze and buns bro on the beach
Starting point is 00:11:01 yeah get a little thong on bronze them up dog might get out there a little yeah Post a picture. We'll see how it goes. I don't know about that Yo, man one thing health experts dietitians a why are you yelling at me man? Are you hopped up on something? I am you notice my energy. Yeah Do I'm talking about athletic greens? I know do your voice even sounds athletic, dude And I do I look a little shade of green you look green all right screen. That's greens. I know, dude. Your voice even sounds athletic. Dude. Do I look a little shade of green? You do look green. Your shirt even looks green.
Starting point is 00:11:28 That's how good it is, dude. I'm talking about an ultimate daily all-in-one health drink, bro. 75 vitamins and minerals. What are we doing? I didn't even know they had that many, dude. Me neither. I remember I had to take vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin D, vitamin M, dude. Bunch of pills.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Next thing you know, dude, my friend, vitamin D, vitamin M, dude. Bunch of pills. Next thing you know. Dude, my friend choked on one of my vitamins once. Not anymore, dude. Nope. This is a drink. Easy to drink. Delivered in powder form and mixed with water. It's so dang easy.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Oh, it's your own little breaking bad at home, but it's breaking better. You're breaking yourself into feeling better. Imagine not feeling good. Now imagine feeling better, boy. That is athletic greens. You get the powder. You put it together in the morning. It comes in this beautiful little kit.
Starting point is 00:12:11 It's a great gift. I'm sending it to my mother. Oh, your mom's going to love that, dude. She loves taking care of herself. I wake up every morning, right down the hatchet, and then ready to start my day. Ooh. I love that, man. Dude, get greener.
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Starting point is 00:14:47 What are you doing for Valentine's? Working. Are you? Yeah, dog. Working. Where at? Ontario Improv. Are you going to be there this weekend?
Starting point is 00:14:53 Yeah, it says I love you like seeing my big ass on stage. Bring your girls. Bring your guys. You know what I'm saying? Whatever you want, bro. Bring your boys. Yeah, working, bro. Dude, what advice would I give to a gay man if he was trying
Starting point is 00:15:05 to make his man happy you know for cheap for cheap dude i just what's that cheap happiness that cheap happiness uh go on a hike and on top of the hike you suck your man off behind the bushes dude every man would love that that's what i'm saying bro it's supposed to be special though it's not just like a you're not doing that every day. You're not... You're not high bar. Well, they might be. Don't you know anything about gay culture, dude? Not too much. But the thing is, it's like... Like, if you took him up...
Starting point is 00:15:32 If you go up, like... Not too much. But, like, if you took him up Runyon Canyon, it was like, oh, we made it. And then, boom. Yeah. Like, that doesn't cost anything but a little effort and a positive attitude, dude. Yeah, you're right. And the adrenaline rush. Yeah. and a positive attitude, dude. Yeah, you're right. And the adrenaline rush.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah. Yeah. Nothing better, dude. And maybe get some spray. Get like a little bit of limit, like a pear spray or grapefruit spray. Put it on his wiener. Yeah. Maybe even like a little lavender.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah. A little Irish butter. Yeah. A little Irish butter. What the hell is Irish butter? Yeah, they sell it at Trader Joe's. Mix it up. Do a little mesquite on the bottom of it.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Yeah, dog. Dude, that's crazy, man. Why don't you sauce your nuts? They sell it at Trader Joe's. Do a little mesquite on the bottom of it. Yeah, dog. Dude, that's crazy, man. Why don't you sauce your nuts? I'm just trying to think. If I went on high, like, yeah, I guess you could just blow. But then your buddy has to be all tired and walk back down the height. Yeah, he has those queasy legs.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Yeah. You don't want to be carrying your buddy down. Oh, you do? Yeah. Maybe that's part of the gift, too. I carry you down. Jump on my back. I suck you off. Carry you down buddy down. Oh, you do? Maybe that's part of the gift, too. I carry you down. Jump on my back. I suck you off.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Carry you down, baby. Yeah, that's dope. That's crazy, man. You have to be a big boy, though. Yeah. It'd be tough for me to carry you. That guy probably dates a big man, though. Yeah, because I think you guys might know better, because I would consider him probably a twink.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Is that right? I think so. He's a cute little hairless. They might call him a is it a cub or an otter i think i don't know it sounds like you no more yeah i know right why don't you let us in on david attenborough you guys never heard of all those terms yeah i have yeah i forget what i am you're a bear i'm a bit i know i'm not a bear because I'm not hairy. What was it?
Starting point is 00:17:05 Remember Chin? We figured it out one day. I forget what I am. Chin's like, no. Chin is an otter for sure. No, Chin's not an otter. Chin just looks like an otter. Look at Chin.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Yeah, a little bit. Bring up an otter. Can we get an otter up there, please, Nick? An otter? You think he looks like an otter? Yeah, dude. Do your eyes know how to fucking look around? Oh, it's Chin.
Starting point is 00:17:24 He does look a little bit like an otter. Oh. I feel you. Beautiful otter, man. A little bit, yeah. Nice otter on you. Ooh, look at that mean one right there, bottom left. Oh, no, dude.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Those things are fucking... Oh, God. Can you Google otter fights? There's definitely some good otter fights. I used to watch these with my cousin. What? Otter fights? That ain't real. Otter fights so you don't think they fight what do they do all day nothing otters be fighting over over wood right it's like a turf war of otters and looking cute other otters show up looking cute dude yeah we got a lot of otters versus
Starting point is 00:18:01 other animals but no otter on otter crime. Oh, damn, bro. You know what homeboys should do with this, man? See, here we go. Oh, they be hooping, too? Did that otter just dunk, bro? Yeah, he did. Did you see otter versus giant otter? Oh, this is just.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Let's go back to the otter dunking, please. Them otters are gay. Hey, you know what homeboy should do with his boyfriend? Dude, give him a hall pass for Valentine's Day. Give him a hall pass. Let him take someone else for a ride. That's not a bad idea. Not a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:18:36 It's free. It's cheap. It is cheap. Yeah, let somebody else deal with your man. For the night. If you have one night, come back tomorrow, positive attitude, forget it ever happened. Wow. That's crazy. That wow that's crazy dude i wonder if people would do that would they do that in the uh in the cultural community guys what do y'all think i know mexicans for sure not no hell no black people i don't think so really don't quote me on that that's more of a white thing
Starting point is 00:19:02 the black the black guy's usually the third from what I see. Yeah, the black guy. Now you're talking about black. You're talking about a porno kind of situation. Cucking. It's a cucking. Yeah, but that's definitely a white boy. That's like a white married kind of move.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Yeah, it's like Uber but for wiener. Yeah, there you go. Uber but for wiener. He could do that for his man. His man's like, what? Are you kidding me? We should send Chappelle in, man. No, I'm good.
Starting point is 00:19:29 We'll cover it. Chinder. It's back. Chinder, it's back. Chappelle shows up. Hard pass. Hard pass. In some jorts and a positive attitude.
Starting point is 00:19:40 You got to get in there, bro. Make this dude's Valentine's Day, bro. Dude, if you ain't banging dudes, bro. What are you doing? That's gay, bro. Make this dude's Valentine's Day, bro. Dude, if you ain't banging dudes, bro. What are you doing? That's gay, bro. If you're afraid to bang some little dude who works at the frickin' Chipotle. Panera Bread. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Either way, dude. Both delicious. Here we got a question that came in right here. Let's get to somebody. We got another relationship advice question. That shirt's swaggy. What's up, Theo? Brendan. I've got another relationship advice question that shirt swaggy what's up theo brendan got a relationship advice for you uh i'm in college and i've been in a class with this chick they're sort of like we've been talking back and forth for a while uh we're in
Starting point is 00:20:18 like the same group work on projects and shit and And it was last semester, this semester, same field. So we're in every class basically together moving forward. I was wondering. Jesus, she's probably bored. Basically deciding whether I pull the trigger and, like, make a move and say, like, an obvious, like, hey, I, like, kind of like you thing or hold off is what I have been doing just because i feel like it would be awkward going forward if she were to i don't say no say what which might just be me being a pussy or
Starting point is 00:20:54 there's a real that real like going forward i'd have to go the whole rest of my college career that's good if anybody knows about being a pussy it's's your boy right here. So let me tell you this, man. Here's the thing. You can admire her from afar and just have her be that kind of special thing that you look at and imagine in your head what could happen if you took the chance. There's some value in that of never knowing. Not really, dude. There's a little bit, bro. Regret, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Okay, there's regret, too. That's the only value. But there's also the fact it could happen. It could happen. I'll never know. That might be wifey. But now that's the other side of the coin. And here's the other value. But there's also the fact it could happen. It could happen. I'll never know. That might be wifey. But now that's the other side of the coin. And here's the other side of the coin.
Starting point is 00:21:29 What is it? He should hit her up. But you don't need to be like, hey, let's go out to dinner tonight. That's awkward. You might be like, hey, after this, maybe let's go get a drink after the study or something. You'll be able to read the room, bro. Read the room. Read the room, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:42 He's been reading the room. But he's not doing anything. But he's not doing anything. For 17 credit hours. Also, what college where you, there's always projects, but no fucking project in my college. But anyways, just do just,
Starting point is 00:21:55 that's weird. I don't know what major he is, but there's no projects on the football team. Well, there's projects, but stuff you wouldn't like. Um, you got to shoot your shot, man.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Shoot or shoot. But how do you do it? He's in the classroom. What do you guys do ethnically? What do you guys return to? I wrote a love album for a girl. What? Like a mixtape?
Starting point is 00:22:15 Yeah. Why you got to say mixtape, bro? Yeah, what does that mean? What is that? That's racist. I made mixtapes. Yourself? You wrote it yourself?
Starting point is 00:22:24 You don't think he can produce, bro? Yeah. Do you still have that tape by chance? Yeah, I got it back makes tapes is that that's not to make no i made an album bro yourself you wrote yourself and playing guitar bro yeah do you still have that tape by chance yeah i got it back because she made fun of me about it she was like hey i heard the music appreciate the effort yeah you don't think my boy has a soundcloud okay this is before soundcloud hey we're hey we're all eight songs i was like 16 hey we're all eight songs wonderwall how'd you. Hey, we're all eight songs, Wonderwall? How'd you know they were eight? How'd you know it was eight? Because you ain't dropping a hot 20 on a girl, man. Nah, I wasn't.
Starting point is 00:22:50 I dropped, yeah, it was like eight songs. Is it? One rap song. Oh, do you remember any of it? I just don't remember the chorus. How'd it go? That's enough. La la la la la la la la.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Oh, wow. Yeah. It was great. Oh, yeah. It was supposed to be cultural. Dude, that's the- That was the whitest rap lyric I've ever heard. la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Starting point is 00:23:12 la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I did did you all my friends were telling me about it they were like yo she's making fun of your album I'm like really
Starting point is 00:23:26 yeah so then I got it back was she a baddie I can't remember oh really I don't like to talk about it dang was it a white girl no
Starting point is 00:23:35 she was not white she was a a chin oh she was Korean yeah oh damn hey you gave a mixed rap CD
Starting point is 00:23:43 to a Korean girl and yeah no shit she didn't like it, dude. And they rejected it, dude? It was one rap song. What was the rest of the songs? It was just me playing an acoustic guitar. I wrote a poem in school for a grade. You gotta tighten up, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:05 This is sounding like me. This is the worst hoopla I've ever heard. And how old were you? I was like 16, 17. You think a 16-year-old wants to hear your acoustic guitar fucking solo rip? So what inspired it, I wrote this poem. Obviously, I liked it, but I wrote this poem in class. We had to write these poems.
Starting point is 00:24:23 And I got an F on it. And I was like, watch this, teacher. I i'm gonna show you that this poem actually means something so that's what made me write the album so i took the poem you got a hard f on that bro this sounds like like the jaw roll bio biopic this sound like the worst you know first of all john mayer had me hyped in the early 2000s so i was was like, damn, I can do it. I can do it. He gave you hope. Yeah, I went to my boy's house.
Starting point is 00:24:49 This was like when the Mac first came out. And then he had a red light outside his door so his mom knew not to come in because we were dropping hits, dude. We were dropping hits. Hits is a loose term. Hits is a very loose term. Real black dudes were actually out dropping hits. Murdering people.
Starting point is 00:25:07 While you're on the fucking electric guitar. It's so much like, what the fuck is happening in there, dude? He's like, man, turn up that Waylon Jenner. We gotta get loose. Shout out to Waylon Jenner. He does some beautiful hits. It didn't go well, man. No, it didn't go well at all. We got to get loose. Shout out to Waylon Genes, by the way. You guys have some beautiful hits. It didn't go well, man.
Starting point is 00:25:29 No, it didn't go well at all. Don't come back next week unless you got that mixtape. That's what I was going to say. I want some tracks, man. I can't let the world hear that. Wow. Chin, well, both of you guys have ladies. Chin, what are you doing for Valentine's Day? We're probably going to your show on 730.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Dope. On Friday. Again, if you want, I'll single you guys out. I'll get the spotlight on you, and I'll make sure. Do whatever you think feels right. Play some of us Chappelle's hits. Oh, yeah. I'll bring my guitar.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Or Chappelle, do it live. I was hoping you guys would have some ideas for me, but now all you guys have given me is bring Chappelle for my lady. Yeah. Yeah, I don't mind. Well, well next girl is Polynesian Vietnamese and it's not cat it's not cat Craig you have a girl yeah oh you do yeah girlfriend? And there he is right here. Let's hear you. We're moving on to... Your girl's got some wide tits, bro. I'll say that.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Is that a gun? What's up, King in the Sting? This is Alex from Houston, Texas. I got a King in her stinger for you. Believe in your girl when she says, oh, you don't have to do anything for me on Valentine's Day. It's just a Hallmark holiday. Personally, I believe it's a trap.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Why? Because the next time she goes to work, goes out with her friends, shows up at church, everybody in the world is going to ask her, what did Alex do for you on Valentine's Day? And guess how she's going to have to answer. Nothing. Alex did jack shit for me on Valentineentine's day and then what happens we might have to read chaos since he was at home anyway guys king it or sting it gang gang buzz
Starting point is 00:27:14 buzz oh wow what the fuck is that a mass shooter or he's asian bro he ain't no mass shooter there was just one was there just one There was just one in Thailand. Oh. Oh, crap. There's one in Thailand. Where's the other one? The other one was a Korean guy way back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Remember? Yeah. Yes. All right, you're right. Koreans will do that. Are there any Mexican mass shooters or not? What have you got? Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:27:38 I guess you guys have most of it. Just cartels. Just cartels. Just decapitations. Half the country. Whatever you can hit with 12 bullets two pistols yeah yosemite or yosemite sam was basically the first uh he was mexican yeah he had to man yeah he was a ginger mexican from uh from guadalajara yeah
Starting point is 00:27:58 yeah he was like a canelo dude i had a guy asking last time about the sinaloa and zoo remember those guys almost got me into that oh yeah i I remember. I was going to invest too. Yeah. We almost went down a weird road. Save that money, boy. Save $4,200. Yeah, they set the whole place on fire apparently. What was the guy's question?
Starting point is 00:28:17 Dude, you get a lot of bad investment opportunities. I didn't hear the question over the guns either. What was the question? I don't think he asked the question. Everybody was distracted. He basically said what Brendan, he thinksine's is a made-up holiday so what do you think when your girl agrees not to do anything on valentine's day do you king that or is she setting a trap well it's her chicken head friends are like girl i told you he's fucking lazy
Starting point is 00:28:38 he ain't doing shit so you gotta worry about her chicken ass friends you know what i'm saying yeah but you maybe be like hey so if you're trying to get dinner on friday night everyone's packed right so fuck that no it's just like we'll go next week it's just a day we'll go next week i don't like that idea what do you got here uh craig mexican craig yeah celebrate celebrate early or later yeah yeah you don't have to that's vague bro we're trying to help this dude. He already has seven guns in front of him. He's obviously thinking about doing something. Whether it's for Valentine's Day or not, he wants to do something.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Hey, take you to shoot clay ducks. Yeah. You can do that. There you go. That would be fun. That's good, man. Yeah, take a girl shooting could be fun. Dude, Brendan, I think that's a –
Starting point is 00:29:22 if you say let's do something a different day because it's like saying, hey,'t want to take responsibility on this day i feel like that's as much of a trap i'm not saying you yeah you're particularly but i'm just saying like oh we'll do something in april like bitch we ain't doing shit in april yeah that's what the girl's thinking yeah i know like if we don't do something on valentine's then we ain't doing something you know unless she has to work then i think you can get out of it. It's such a... It puts so much pressure on dudes, doesn't it? Girls don't have to do shit. It's more of a holiday for them.
Starting point is 00:29:51 The other 364 days, you don't have to care about your girl. Yeah, right. That's pretty easy. Except for her birthday. Yeah, that's true. 363 days. Christmas, Thanksgiving. 361 days. 362, you're right. Not Thanksgiving. 362, it's me time. Yeah1 no. No, not Thanksgiving. 362, you're right, not Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:30:06 362, it's me time. Yeah, dude. So not bad. They're asking for one day. They want some chocolate. They want some care. What are you doing for your girl, Craig? Ah, nothing. I don't have anything planned. Damn, Craig. What are you going to do for your girl, though?
Starting point is 00:30:23 Craig's a savage. I know, right? I got some lotion. Okay. Damn, Craig. What are you going to do for your girl, though? Craig's a savage. I know, right? She ain't got nothing. She'll be happy. I got her some lotion. Okay. Rose oil lotion. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:30:32 Okay. $4.99, yeah. Okay. Well, that's a good deal. That's something. That's nice. Chappelle? My girl and I, we're doing a staycation.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Bro, how did we get less cultural? Yeah, how did we get less cultural yeah how do you get all white why are we the most culture in the room girl for a ride in the whip dog or something i don't have a whip she does that's the cultural part of me now you're right back in she's driving us to that hotel you guys are staying just in a hotel yeah Santa Monica
Starting point is 00:31:12 or something downtown you need like rose petals out and shit you know you're so right about that shit
Starting point is 00:31:18 like they set you up cause she was like last year cause this is my first girlfriend ever last year yeah first relationship ever yeah that's crazy Oh, man. Yeah, first relationship ever. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:25 Yeah. Man, that's crazy. Yeah, because the albums weren't working. So, but last year she was like, yeah, we don't need to get each other anything. And then she got me something. And I was like, and I didn't get her nothing. And literally. What did she get you though?
Starting point is 00:31:39 She got me like this card and like chocolate and shit like that. She drew like me in a black flag t-shirt. She got you a piece of her heart, dude. Yeah. she got you a tony ron i didn't get a shit oh man dude she stopped at rouse i got you a card and some caramels bro hey i still got the card yeah oh dude don't you do man of course you have it in a special thing under your bed i do that's where i keep them as well i forgot i got her a lunch pail from Target. Oh, does she want one? Yeah. For what? For lunch. Just to take to work?
Starting point is 00:32:08 Yeah. Look, Brendan can't imagine. Is she in eighth grade? That is a great question also. How old is she? She's very applicable to a lot of Latinos, bro. Latinos stay young, bro. They stay young, bro.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Anything goes out there, bro. She's old. The quinceanera can get quince and scary careful bro dude here's the thing with nixon she's either i'm guessing really young or really old you got like a 47 year old at home no no i've done that though really yeah how did that work out uh that was great i don't know if i should tell that i had sex with her at a park in a park with an older woman an older woman on the on the park bench on the park bench yeah on my birthday party see that's one of the problems with these sanctuary cities man that's all i'm saying this shit has to stop it was a good birthday bro i was get your girl a hotel room dude what a cheapskate or she could get you a
Starting point is 00:33:06 hotel room it was your birthday with that one yeah that one was crazy my sisters made fun of me because i'm not even joking she had one leg shorter than the other she did a little hobble my dad's friend had something like that yeah yeah i've seen it before she had one leg short than the other and he would always stand on this one piece of cement all the time and he would take it with him in his hand and set it down and then stand on it that's see that's so thoughtful man to be even yeah thank you for not being a distraction and you'd have to pretend like you didn't see him set it down and stand yeah you should act like it's all good i love that i love it hell yeah he passed away did he yeah he passed away like 30 years ago here's a here's a guy who has a
Starting point is 00:33:41 question this guy looks uh did we do the last one? Did we help those people out? Do you king or sting not doing anything when your girl says it's okay? Oh, it's such a trap, dude. Because you know they're going to tell their friends. They have nothing to post. I guess get them something so they shut the front door. And there go our female
Starting point is 00:34:00 listeners. Here's what I think you should do. Embrace your lady. Get your girl a little bird bath or something. Fill it with chocolate. it with uh mousse or something chocolate mousse uh catch a bird outside and let that motherfucker in the apartment be like got your bird get a dove 26 for a dove can you look up price of local dove get your girl a dove man get your girl a parrotlet you guys have birds asians have birds all the time. You know what's up, dude? You guys. Every Chinese person's mother has a damn bird. That's true. Take us into Birdville.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Chocotiles, parakeets. Yeah, hell yeah. Why is it? They're awesome. I fucking hate birds. Damn, $15 for a nice, clean pigeon? That's cheap. See, get your girl two pigeons, $15.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Get her a 12-piece from Buffalo Wild Wings. You know what I'm saying? A little extra crispy. That's a good Valentine's Day. Call it the before and after package. Get it that living bird and from Buffalo Wild Wings. You know what I'm saying? A little extra crispy. That's a good Valentine's Day. Call it the before and after package. Get it that living bird and that dead bird. Yeah. And say, look, my love for you has been here and it'll stay here.
Starting point is 00:34:53 It's a circle. Before and after. Just keep referencing circles. And get two pigeons. Yeah, get you a pigeon. If you can't afford a dove, get a pigeon and put baby powder on his back. Yeah, you could spray paint that thing. $15, dog.
Starting point is 00:35:08 $15. Yeah. Oh, you can get a pigeon for $6, or if you're fast, you can just get a pigeon. Yeah, if you're really fast, go to the park and get them. Here's the other thing. You don't need to clip their wings. Just spray paint them white, and they can't really fly away. Them wet feathers keep them down.
Starting point is 00:35:21 That's a life cheat. Oh, yeah, bro. Them brown birds. And, Tim, what do you guys do? Do you guys eat the animals at some point? Are there burials? How do you guys go about it? I actually bury my birds. Amen. You bury your birds?
Starting point is 00:35:32 Yeah. Do you have like a little coffin? You know, we put them in a little shoebox. Both of them. But a shoebox is not a good idea because it's kind of big when you want to bury it. But that's what we did. But it shakes in there. Wait, both? Both of them. They both died at the same time? you know when parakeets die yeah they die like right after like their their lovebirds they die right after they're like old people whoa why you know
Starting point is 00:35:52 old people they've been together for like 70 years one gets the flu the other gets the flu then one dies and like two days later the other one dies well that's like the notebook yeah exactly you know a lot of a lot of parents an old trick is you get hamsters, name them after the grandparents, and it helps kids learn that practice for grandparents dying. Oh, that's a good move. That is a good move. It's like, here's Pop-Pop, and here's, you know, Grandma Tiffany or whatever.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Like, oh, well, they passed away because they're old, and that's going to happen to your grandma and grandpa. Yeah, and you get to bury them. But yeah, that k-swiss coffin you guys were serving up over there huh yeah yeah fucking what happens in the mexican community when birds die craig they they uh they bury them do they really that's it don't you guys have day of the dead or some shit yeah yeah don't they come back those y'all dig them back up yeah and they come back? Y'all dig them back up.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Yeah. And we put the little skeleton on a necklace and sell it to you for five bucks. Pesos. That's a real business, man. Dude, yeah, the bone business is big. Real big. We used to have a guy that would sell, he had the erection bone or the penal bone of a raccoon, and he would bring him to school and sell them.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Call them boner necklaces? No. Just was like, hey, you want this raccoon dick? Yeah, and he'd fucking open up a handful of them and have six or seven of them, and he'd pick one out. Yeah, that guy probably shouldn't be around the school. He was a B student. He was one of our finer students.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah, probably shouldn't be allowed on campus. A B student? I wouldn't call where we went to school campus. What I meant is you probably shouldn't allow him over your house. Some of the classrooms had wheels on them. Dude, I remember our science class had a gas leak at one point of actual gasoline, bro. What's his guy's issue? Hey, did your high school have the photo room
Starting point is 00:37:47 where it was black and white and it was like a purple room? You know what I'm talking about? Where you'd take pictures and then go in there? Really? Oh, like develop the film. Yeah, the dark room. It was fucking in the dark room, dude.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Really? It just looked like someone took white paint and threw it against the wall. These kids were just busting knots in there, man. There's no cameras. It was all dark. I was like, what did you think was going to happen? Damn, I want to go to that school.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah, Doug. Shout out to Overland High. We used to have the sick room. You would tell your girl to get sick, and you would get sick, and y'all would go meet up in there. Oh, that's dope. But then it was so crazy because as soon as a teacher would come and open the door, both of you guys would be like, oh, I'm sick. I'm so sick, my dick fell out of my pants.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Like, what? I'm so sick, Sarah's got her tits out. Oh, dang. I don't feel good. Don't even make me feel better.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Sarah got her titty out. Yeah. Different times, man. I got the flu, I'm about to buzz. buzz dude i'm feeling nice today and we got a lot of nice bro thank you you look nice dude dude you and i got a set of hair on us yeah bro modeling dude we should i started using that hems and my hair i don't know dude i just started growing out and it is it's so thick dude bro it looks really thick especially if i pull up a picture of some tits on my phone dude your hair gets way thick yeah you must be taking hymns huh i am man and 66 of men start losing their hair by 35 so i was like
Starting point is 00:39:16 dude i'm 36 i'm 39 i don't want this to happen hymns boom head of lettuce. What's up, bro? What's up? One-stop shop for hair loss. Yep, 4Hems.com, one-stop stop for hair loss, skin care, and sexual wellness. Oh, you don't say. It's Valentine's Day. It sure is. Hubba hubba, boys.
Starting point is 00:39:42 Dude, usually you got to get that comb out and use it. Use it on your hair. Use it on your wiener. Beat it against your meat a little bit. Yeah, fresh set of hair. Get that kick back. Fresh batch of blood in your wand. Get your wand pumping. Get your hair styling, bro.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Imagine showing up to Valentine's Day with hair and a wiener. Perfect gift. Tremendous. Dive into 2020 here first right now. You guys get first month free. Go to 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S That's 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S That's right. Prescription requires
Starting point is 00:40:12 an online consultation with a physician who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Offer valid only if prescribed. 3 month minimum subscription. Additional subscription can supply. See website for full details and important safety information. Remember, that's 4hims.com slash K-a-t-s perfect dude do i hear your meat yeah do you mind if i use your grill for my meat i do mind bro all right
Starting point is 00:40:37 well ladies only okay dog listen man i love grilling meat, and thank God for ButcherBox. It ships a curated selection of the highest quality meat right to my freaking grill, bro. I love that. And what I love the best is all their meat is free of antibiotics and added hormones and no hooks. Sometimes you buy a batch of fish from somebody, they got a couple hooks in the mouth or they got a— It's too much. Yeah. You know, you'll get a bass and it'll have a little kazoo in it yeah you might get some beef and it's it's
Starting point is 00:41:09 tattooed you know what i'm saying i don't want that dude i found a uh a sirloin the other day had a jingle bell in it it's not good man it's not good dude each box has 9 to 11 pounds of straight up meat for your mouth enough for for 24 people or 12 thick friends. It's a no brainer. It's the best meat shipped right to your door, which means one less trip to the grocery store. Come in. What's up? Meat for your face.
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Starting point is 00:42:02 Get them free mignons, boy. Dude, you get two free filet flaming yon and a pack of bacon? Wrap the flaming yon in the bacon. Dude, I'll tell you this. If two flaming yon show up at my place, bro, I'm calling the cops. Nah, man. I like them yon, but not flaming. I feel you, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Gang, gang. All right, what do you got? So we'll tell Alex we sting that, and please don't shoot your girlfriend. Here's the next King of the Sting. Yeah, 100% Alex. We don't want to be part of that shit, man. Dude, I love live PD just as much as the next guy, but you can't be. We don't want to see you on there.
Starting point is 00:42:36 Yeah. Here's King of the Sting at number two from Zach. Yo, Brendan, what up? Brendan, he's talking. Zach Barrett from New Jersey here. Got a King of the Sting for Brendan, he's talking to me. Zach Barrett from New Jersey here. Got a King It or Sting It for you. Valentine's Day coming up. Made a reservation for me and my girl at White Castle.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Sounds a little weird. A lot of people are doing it these past couple years. Reservation was pretty hard to get. King It or Sting It. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, Zach. That fast? I mean, it's definitely
Starting point is 00:43:05 I think it's unique sometimes Oh, here we go And here's an image right there Did you know it's like It's a thing They do like Candlelit dinners At White Castle on Valentine's Day
Starting point is 00:43:14 Oh, that's kind of fun I love that Oh, they make Oh, no That's fast food Yeah, but it's kind of fun It's different Says the guy who planned
Starting point is 00:43:22 Nothing for his girl Says the guy who got his girl a bottle of lotion from the hotel. $4.99, right? First of all, rose oil. Hey, I didn't get you any roses. But not this oil. Yeah, yeah. Put this in a vase.
Starting point is 00:43:43 It's a pretty pink bottle. What do you think here? I mean, dude, look. I think that's nice. I think it's a great marketing idea. It looks fun. It's cute. Your girl won't expect it.
Starting point is 00:43:53 She thinks you're just going. She's going to be depressed, but she walks in the door. They got a nice tablecloth. She's still going to be a little depressed because you're still at White Castle. I'm not a huge White Castle fan. Are you? I'd be down with it. If it's a Taco Bell. I like a manageable sandwich,
Starting point is 00:44:08 man. Yeah, I like Taco Bell, dude. Really? Split a nice gordita or that freaking Nacho Supreme with your girl. Yeah, I'm with you. And then shit your pants on the way home. There's nothing better, man. You must be married, bro. That sounds like something coming from a married
Starting point is 00:44:23 guy. Hey, let's go both use different toilets in the house when we get home. That's the most married thing I've ever heard, bro. No, man. It's basically playing Russian roulette in your pants, dude. If you eat Taco Bell, you got to race home, dude. Yeah, bro. Start living, bro. You're right.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Start living a little, dog. You're right. I got to get out there. Don't knock it till you try it, man. Yeah. This is an idea, though. This is better than all these fucks are doing he doesn't have an idea she's bringing her to my show because i'm giving free tickets you're taking her to a hotel you probably work at he has nothing you and i have nothing i'm so lonely, man. I also love how Chen has on the typical Asian athletic injury with the carpal tunnel. It is a carpal tunnel.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Come on, bro. It is. Come on, bro. Next thing you know, he's going to file a lawsuit. Bro, that's the Asian ACL, they call it. Somebody gets carpal tunnel from typing on a computer too much. Come on, bro. You ain't fooling nobody, Chen. asked him if you i thought he's going rollerblading
Starting point is 00:45:30 yeah dude i thought you're raising like a really strong bird like what are your parakeets is getting big yeah i thought a vulture was going to fucking swing on his arm. Yeah. Yeah, it looks weird. Double it up, though, Chin. If you're going to do it, do it on both, man. I got a bigger one coming in. Hell yeah. It's that bad?
Starting point is 00:45:54 It's pretty bad. It's that bad. I can feel it all through here. Dude, nothing's as bad as Nick is sprouting bird out of his back. Okay. Dude, I think we're falling apart. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Look at these two.
Starting point is 00:46:11 I think we're in the upside down, bro. Kat and Derek have the coronavirus. These two are falling apart. I think I got the carpal tunnel too. I literally cannot feel my index finger. If I squeeze my shoulder, my thumb goes numb too. Is that what you got? Hey, if this is your guy's way of asking for a raise, ain't working man look man we need the episodes up dude i don't
Starting point is 00:46:31 have to tell you man bottom line he's gonna quit this fucking act you got going on we need dude we're in the upside down man that's where we are chin's dressed like a redneck Nick is turning into a toucan Chappelle's fucking this is the whitest culture corner we've ever had yeah dude we're looking for I said we need a Mexican female
Starting point is 00:46:58 and they bring in Craig Canan Jesus even our text he's like we we need Craig, bro. I'm like, Craig? You're the worst. What is going on? Here's a guy in a
Starting point is 00:47:13 bathroom sending us a question, not a shot. Here's our last Valentine's related King and Earth stinger. Hey guys, Don from Los Angeles. Sending a singing telegram To your girlfriend's work For Valentine's Day Do people still do that?
Starting point is 00:47:31 King it or sting it Gang gang Buzz buzz Gang gang Don Again these are good ideas Ain't nobody doing this I like that Yeah cause nobody's doing it
Starting point is 00:47:41 It's like an old timey thing Yeah that's what I'm saying No one's doing it Yeah what do you like about it? Just bust out the mariachis, homies. And what is mariachis? It's terrible music. It's not bad.
Starting point is 00:48:01 It's repetitive. Would you do it? I'd just bring myself there. That's what I'm saying yeah can people hire you to fucking I guess thrash in their face
Starting point is 00:48:09 hey come on he'll do his la la la la again fucking dude I would definitely I'd pay $11 to see Huck and Chappelle
Starting point is 00:48:17 show up and I'd take the $11 do two back handsprings and roll into a fucking that'd be sick into some Slayer with a ukulele in a thong
Starting point is 00:48:23 in a thong why'd it gotta go to thong? Yeah, why can't he be fully dressed, man? Oh, dude, you trying to get lit or what? It's Valentine's Day? He's a man.
Starting point is 00:48:31 He's in a thong, but he does like Cupid's not wearing a thong? Yeah, he is. Cupid does have a diaper. He does have a diaper. That's what I'm saying. You show up in a big diaper.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Diaper and those wings. You'll be all right. Hey, do we have any, have you posted any video on Instagram of you playing the guitar? Yeah, I have videos on there. Hit that shit, Nick.
Starting point is 00:48:45 I think I got one of me playing Black Sabbath. Nice. Or just Sabbath, as they call it in your community. I'm just joking, man. Damn, Papi. What the fuck? Hold on. Go back up to his fucking picture.
Starting point is 00:48:59 It's him as a kid. Oh, my God, bro. Chappelle looking young, man. Bro, someone was like, did you go to junior high in the 60s? Yeah, dude. Chappelle looking young.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Is that Wesley Snipes in eighth grade? Go to the video. Go to the video. Where's it at? Where's it at? Where's it at? It's coming up, man. Garth Brooks.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Where's it at? It's coming up. Oh, it's right there. Go up. Yeah, right there. It's rock music. Hey, Papi, take it easy on the chocolates, huh? Hey, see, I paid for this. I was just going to say, you're doing it right for me. huh Man, you wouldn't take a love album to me?
Starting point is 00:50:08 That says love right there, man. Yeah, I paid $12 for that. That shit was hard. I'd take the $12. I'd take $12. Man, it is good, man. Well, I mean, between you and Chin, just start a band or something, man.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Chin sings. You play the guitar. Chin, you play guitar, too. Yeah. Does Chin sing? You play, like like metal or i play everything metal country r&b hey r&b hibachi do you know any asian r&b artist you're looking at them yeah dude they call them gart brooke yeah you call me gart brooke yes we call them yeah
Starting point is 00:50:38 look at him dude you play guitar too. Where you at, Chappelle? What do you think is going on here, dog? What? That's genuine over there, bro. Show your girl this. Dude. I fall so deep. Don't show your girl this. You'll never know how far I go. And I know my heart's beat. Hell.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Just believe. I fall so deep. Wow. Where were you at when I was making that album when I was in high school? Yeah, what are you doing back there, bro? Yeah. Free internet days, man. American Idol. Gosh, you could have produced my album.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Trina, have you ever thought about doing American Idol? We talked about it, remember? No, I don't. The voice? American Idol? The voice I'm not too crazy about. I have the kind of dicks. But American Idol, I feel like They'd be like
Starting point is 00:51:45 I like this giant Korean And they'd go up And just knock their socks off Yeah It'd be a little weird Or the Masked Singer The Masked Singer too Oh yeah
Starting point is 00:51:51 You have to be a celebrity You have to be a celebrity Oh Hey he's getting there He's getting there I don't know They put some real weird people on there I love the judges
Starting point is 00:52:01 They're all Is that Beyonce in there? I'm like Nah bitch It's not Beyonce. Real celebrities aren't doing this show. Yeah. It's always like Genuine or Warren G or some shit, you know?
Starting point is 00:52:12 Old school. Old school. Yeah. Man, you just hate it on Genuine and Warren G. I like Genuine. Is Warren G, did he pass away? Warren G passed away. No, he didn't.
Starting point is 00:52:20 Nate Dogg did. Nate Dogg did. Oh, you're right. Nate Dogg did. All I'm saying is Gen Chin reminds me of Genuine. Good shit, Chin. Dude, it's a season for love. What about people that don't have somebody on Thanksgiving?
Starting point is 00:52:31 I mean, Valentine's Day. Or Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Name a holiday. They're starting to pile up. So that does it for King or Sting It. Next, back by Popular Man, we have a Valentine's Day-themed round of Race My Case. Got it. Were people liking Race My Case?
Starting point is 00:52:53 They were loving it. We got a lot of submissions. I ended up doing these because I wanted Valentine's-related ones, but people loved it. Thank you, Nick. Evidently, maybe I shouldn't even address this, but there's some rude Jude out there, and people are saying we— I know rude Jude. I know rude Jude.
Starting point is 00:53:07 He's a legend. I don't listen to the show, but— I read his book, actually. His book is awesome. He's a great dude. Have you ever done a show on Shade45? I never have. I did it when I was doing promotion for Showtime.
Starting point is 00:53:14 He's a great dude. People are saying we jacked the show. I had no idea. It was one of our listener submissions, and it's got our Race My Case. It rhymes and shit. I'll check in with him and ask him. I don't feel like we did I know we didn't jack it
Starting point is 00:53:27 yeah yeah for sure happy little accident also I don't think he's the only one where people you gotta guess who's doing the crime
Starting point is 00:53:34 yeah so guys so for this he's gonna read a case and we have to each put in who we feel like what culture or ethnicity
Starting point is 00:53:42 did the crime so we can get as specific or as unspecific as we need to. Yeah, or country if you can't just pick one race. Here we go. Man gets prison for Valentine's Day robbery of bank where girlfriend worked. Blank, who needed money to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring, is now headed to federal prison for help carrying out a Valentine's Day robbery outside the bank where she worked.
Starting point is 00:54:06 He's been sentenced to six and a half years. He held up $26,000 from a Bradford National Bank that they were stocking outside an ATM. He drove away in his 2008 Mustang. Mexican. Mustang. Passionate. Latino. Loves his woman. Is Mustang a Spanish word? Mustang. Mexican Mustang passionate Latino
Starting point is 00:54:25 loves his woman can you say is Mustang Spanish word Mustang no but it just feels like it like
Starting point is 00:54:32 Mustang Mustang Brenda shut up Caballo is horse it's not Mustang that's Korean bro Mustang what
Starting point is 00:54:44 El Mustang give me the details again I didn't hear it so he That's Korean, bro. Mustania. El Mustania. Give me the details again. I didn't hear it, Nick. So he robbed the bank where his girlfriend works for money to buy her an engagement ring. Us is white, dude, all day. And he drove off in a Ford Mustang. That's white. White.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Oh, yeah. I think it's white. I think they were in on it. I think the chick was probably in on it, and it sounds like it was a white guy to me. Yeah. Latino. I'm going to say white guy in the, I'm going to say like Oklahoma, Texas area. But here's the thing, though.
Starting point is 00:55:12 If you tell somebody, you tell your girl, if you're a white guy, you tell your girl, okay, I'm going to come in here. I'm going to rob the bank. You need to be, you're going to be there. Like, I'm just trying to think who's going to go along with that if you say that to them some dumbass the girl uh says she didn't know and she was cleared of all charges oh and they probably went into it like tax everything they had to oh here this might uh shed some light uh he was dropped off in neighboring city and took a greyhound back to his girlfriends to comfort her i love graham to comfort her. I love Greyhound. Ew.
Starting point is 00:55:47 And everybody's on there, I feel like. But not Asian. So I'm going to say it's not Asian because it's white, black, or Mexican on Greyhound. Dude, this is white all day. I'd say white. Y'all going white? Latino. You're going to go Latino?
Starting point is 00:55:58 I'm going to go, I'll go black. I'm going white, Texas, Oklahoma area. White for sure. Ramsey Fakuri was lebanese dating a white girl uh that did not specify but most likely lebanon damn it now it all makes sense yeah that was your next guess it just clicked in craigs and he was like the lebanese are into that bank robbery kind of the old Wild Western type of stuff. That's also the plot from Ben Affleck's movie, The Town.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Is it? Yes. Great movie. Good movie. Great movie. Zero, zero, zero, zero. No one scored. Next one.
Starting point is 00:56:38 Also Lebanese, Jesus Christ, dude. Valentine's Day lovers were caught on closed caption TV as they robbed a till from a jewelry store. A pair of love-struck teens shared this romantic moment in front of a TV that they did not know was recording. They ended up stealing $275 and left cameras, laptops, and smartphones that they could have stole. Smart, smart. So this is a lover's quarrel.
Starting point is 00:57:04 This is a Romeo and Juliet type of thing. They wanted the jewelry. It's Valentine. They wanted the jewelry. Also not a terrible idea. I'm going white. I'm going black. Black.
Starting point is 00:57:14 I'm going to go black too. You said they left cell phones and laptops? Everything valuable, yeah. Black people don't fuck with laptops. No, they don't. They're like, nah, fuck those. Definitely black. Black people don't fuck with laptops.
Starting point is 00:57:21 No, they don't. They're like, nah, fuck those. It's definitely black. It was 19-year-old Lei Yu and 18-year-old Zhang Chu. They were Chinese. Wow. Wait, what was the first name? Lei Yu, L-E-I-Y-U. I thought Lei Lu was a black guy.
Starting point is 00:57:38 I thought I was right. That's the boy Lei Lu. You know Lei Lu, dog? And Zhang Chu. Lei Lu Johnson? Lei Lu Johnson. Zhang Chu sounds Johnson? Leilu Johnson. Jang Chu sounds like a new Copenhagen skull. That sounds nice.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Got that Jang Chu. God damn, we're so off. No one got this even close. Leilu. So anybody who scores here takes it home. We got our last one. Right. A man stole roses from Aldi's grocery store that were $19.99 for his girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
Starting point is 00:58:10 Well wasted. White boy. Wait, say it again? A man stole roses that were worth $19.99 from an Aldi's grocery store for Valentine's Day for his girlfriend. I'm going to switch it up and say Pakistani. Wow. You're going to peace stand, dog. I'm staying with Aldi. Aldi's is predominantly usually a white type of environment in there.
Starting point is 00:58:33 It's a good Midwestern grocery store. I'm going to say white. Yeah, I'm going to say white, too. This probably happened at maybe Albertsons or King Soopers. This is a white boy all day. Dude, a white boy with drunk, drunk with love, you're going to do some crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:58:47 What did Craig say? White. White. He was Pakistani. Oh, shit. I'm just kidding. He was Irish white. I'm not the same, bro.
Starting point is 00:58:59 You have me. You broke my heart like that girl broke my heart when I gave her that album. That's a white guy. Some people haven't gotten over something let it go man who broke y'all's heart you think in y'all's life you think who was somebody everybody said their hearts broke huh who and no shame on them no shade on them i'm just saying who did it who done it sometimes it just happens when things you follow, you know, you did it to yourself sometimes, you know, but just saying who did it to
Starting point is 00:59:28 y'all. Theo, you got something you want to say? You got a person? I broke my own heart a million times. I'm saying who broke y'all's shit, you fucking creeps. Okay, because this is obviously Let's start with Chin. Have you had your heart broke?
Starting point is 00:59:45 Yeah, but not by a girl that I was dating I had a crush on my best friend Before, a long time ago When I was younger And what happened? And she liked me at the time But I didn't know she liked me So I waited a year to ask her out
Starting point is 00:59:56 And what happened when you went off to war? You got the carpal tunnel Yeah, that was like my biggest crush ever So she didn't feel the same way after that. You didn't capitalize. But we became friends. Still friends today. All right.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Great. And is she married now? She's married. And do you guys still communicate? She's married to a judge. She's an attorney. Oh, where at? I don't want to say where.
Starting point is 01:00:17 East Coast. East Coast. Well, all right. That doesn't help me. Nick, you've had your heart, bro. Come on, bro. I mean, there was a senior girl, Maggie Hyde, who I really lusted after as a sophomore.
Starting point is 01:00:27 Don't say that. But, yeah, I can't really say she broke my heart. We got really flirty one night in college. I thought it was going to happen, but just that close. I go back to this time sometimes. They had a girl that I was in love with when I was a child, and then something, I saw her in college once, and she'd broken up with her boyfriend and we like hung out a couple times but I was like too nervous to try and like know if like she was
Starting point is 01:00:51 interested in me I was like like I like I would just like I would just spend all my money on like new shoes for that night or whatever and fucking like I just had still no ability to talk like No matter how much new shoes I put on, I just couldn't be like, do you want to touch my body? He's switching up the shoe game. Oh, dude, it was just crazy, bro. Anyway, yeah, man, this chick, Sarah. I had one chick when I first got to L.A. She was so bad.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Of course, she didn't have any dudes she wanted. I thought we were in a relationship, and then I saw her. I was like was like oh you want to hang out tonight she's like oh i can't it's my girl's birthday i'm like that makes sense and then i see on uh tv she was like in a straight relationship with like some famous dude i was like oh well i don't stand a fucking chance i would struggle city man dead broke my'm like oh i can't compete with that that's rough and then when i text her about it she's i text her about it i called her out i fucking screenshot i took a picture of the tv while i saw her on right tmz or some shit
Starting point is 01:01:56 i'm like man what's up with this and she goes what did you think was gonna happen I was like oh frozen bro that's ice cold Craig yeah a girl showed up outside my work right after we broke up with another dude and I chased them in my car and then it got a little weird did you kill him no I tried to run him off the road. Oh, wow. Oh, damn. Where were you working at? Trader Joe's. Oh, gangster. Yeah. Yeah, Trader Joe's is gangster. How'd you get let go from there?
Starting point is 01:02:31 Yeah, I got fired. You did? I farted on my manager. As a joke? And I filmed it and I put it on Instagram. And it went viral and then corporate saw it and they're like, get this kid out of here. Oh, damn. Get him out of here?
Starting point is 01:02:43 What do you mean? Get this advertising guru out of this marketing genius you're the only person headliner that called me you know that oh i was yeah oh let's see if i was all right oh right on man oh that happened recently yeah oh wow like last year yeah last year oh damn dude people lose their jobs all the time but he has no idea how america works or anything happens he don't get it but i didn't know it was last year yeah but it was the best thing that ever happened to me chappelle you swear to god yeah yeah you're good you worked at tj's for a long time 11 years yeah yeah 11 years you do a solid bro bro he's like the gandalf of trader joe you're like the Gandalf of Trader Joe's. You're like the Philip Rivers of Trader Joe's, dude.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Sometimes you just got to leave, man. Yeah, I know. I wanted to. I was too big of a pussy, and then it happened. And then life is booming? You felt you were guilty for it because you shout me out. You remember? You did a story, and you said, follow Craig for behind-the-scenes Trader Joe's. And then I was fired like a week or two later.
Starting point is 01:03:44 So you called me like, hey, man, did I have anything to do with that? Oh, because he blasted it out more. Yeah. But this was before the gassing of the manager. Yeah, yeah. But still, it all contributes to the hype. You're like, now I've got to put on the show. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:58 And you really let one go on the manager? Like, you really ripped it? Oh, yeah, dude. Did he deserve it? Yeah, he's my buddy. Did he think it was funny? Oh, he's your friend. Yeah. What's your friend your friend he laughed he didn't give a fuck about it but corporate corporate oh dang my manager that fired me went to my show saturday and then fired me
Starting point is 01:04:14 tuesday like he was the homie he didn't give a fuck it was like like a mice and men when lenny snuffs out his brother you know he was like almost crying i was like they did what you gotta do yeah no they did you a solid it set It set me free. 11 years. Yeah. Do you remember the last day? Were you on shift and then they told you to leave? They talked to me and then they talked to me. I went back to work and then they said, I just went back.
Starting point is 01:04:39 I clocked out and they're like, we'll let you know if you need to come in tomorrow. And then the next morning I went in and they were waiting at the door. I was like, oh, shit. I was like, you guys made me wake up this early. You couldn't have called me, you know? I know. But it was a blessing, right? It was.
Starting point is 01:04:53 My career started popping off after that. Oh, tight move. Wow. Chappelle, you've had your heart broke? Yeah, but a lot of it was my fault. Yeah, dude, have you heard any of his stories? A lot of it was my fault. No, he seems super happy. I used to be
Starting point is 01:05:05 the dude that was just like, I didn't even need to know a girl. If I just liked her, I'd just ask her out immediately because I thought that's how it worked. Yeah, that's how all black guys think it works and that's why they do so well with it. That's why they fucking most the girls. But it didn't work for me.
Starting point is 01:05:21 You wouldn't live a day in a white man's fucking brain, bro. It's so hard to ask a girl out, bro. It's impossible, bro. But it didn't work for me. You wouldn't live a day in a white man's fucking brain, bro. It's so hard to ask a girl out, bro. It's impossible, dude. Oh, yeah. I struggled for years. It's scary. Like I said, your first girlfriend ever. You're just strong on them, huh?
Starting point is 01:05:34 Yeah. But, dude, with the cheerleaders, you're holding her up, you know? You got them ladies right there. That's when you ask her, hey, you want to go out with me? You're building the trust. Building the trust. Building the trust, man. That goes a long ways.
Starting point is 01:05:47 It'd be funny if you'd be like, oh, you don't? And you'd start juggling. Oh, you don't want to go out with me? What? Just drop a girl. We're going to close it out with Debate Club. It's got one topic. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Here's my boy right here. Hey, guys. This is Christian from LA, and I've got something that you guys can debate. What's a better getaway weekend for Valentine's Day? Napa, Mexico, wine country, or tequila country? Thanks guys. Gang gang. Buzz buzz.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Well, goddamn baller. Sounds like you got some options. Wait, tequila country? Isn't that Mexico? He said wine or tequila. Napa, Mexico, tequila or wine oh gotcha you ever been to napa it's more of an older vibe you know what i'm saying i don't have that great of a time what are you looking for dude carlos and charlie's bro you're looking for that dude with that whistle who fucking i'm looking for that chiropractor who just breaks your neck your
Starting point is 01:06:40 cousin i'm looking for that senor frog go down to cancun dude it's disgusting they have that slide that shoot you into basically the sewer system oh god those big margaritas it's the worst every senior frogs has a slide it's always somebody every dude in there has like a turquoise blue shirt on yeah and he's just like and then there's foam it's all shot shot shot shot and it's always like there's two girls like look what they're doing aunt randy pouring shitty tequila tequila you would use to fucking start your car bro like bad yeah it's like tequila and syrup it's like just horrible shit and then there's 40 dudes in one jig. And then you walk out of there and a couple of fucking vatos straight up steal all your shit. That's a night, bro.
Starting point is 01:07:31 Yeah, bro. Actually, it does sound pretty fun. Street tacos. I like a place you can get mugged at a little bit. Yeah, I like a little scary. I'd probably go Mexico, maybe. Yeah, I didn't have that fun at Napa. I don't know, man.
Starting point is 01:07:42 It's a peaceful area. What'd y'all do? It also got burnedapa. I don't know, man. It's a peaceful area. Which you'll do. It also got burned down. A lot of it's burnt. What? Yeah, Napa was on fire, man. A shitload of it got burned down. I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:07:53 It did. Yeah, I think it was the other one. What's the other one? Yeah, Nepal. Nepal? Yeah, somewhere. Maybe Sonoma, maybe? No, I'm pretty sure a bunch of Napa got burned down.
Starting point is 01:08:04 It was Napa. The fire started near Tubbs Lane in Norville, Napa County. It destroyed more than 5,643 structures, half of which are homes in Santa Rosa. Santa Rosa. That was the Tubbs fire. It should be all right now. It should be all right now. Well, dude, a lot of that, when that soil gets burnt up,
Starting point is 01:08:24 that's how they make good crops a lot of times. Yeah, that's when it starts popping. It gets nutrient rich, they call it. Circle of life. Yeah. It's pro-life? Circle of life. Circle of life, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Tubbs Fire sounds like a fucking great name for a thicker porn star. Tubbs Fire? That Tubbs Fire, boy. That sounds like a great name for a barbecue joint dog tubs fire do you get that brisket tubs fire god what's up bro dude barbecue is a great thing to take a lady out for oh it is it's kind of sexual when you deep throat that rib you know what i'm saying what yeah that beautiful gay man that hit us up he could take his man out and get those ribs And put them one by one in his mouth Yeah it's sexual bro
Starting point is 01:09:07 Then you get that sweet sticky sauce over your hands Oh damn boo You finger each other with it We're gonna need to see you in the office And Kato will be back next week Damn it We're gonna need to see you I just got fired on the spot and Cat will be back next week. Damn it. We're going to need to see.
Starting point is 01:09:28 He's got fired on this. Dude, no. I'm going to trade a Joe's on this. It's here, man. It's a season of love, bro. Love is in the air, dog, and I think the best idea we've come up with, we just came up with at the end here,
Starting point is 01:09:46 take your girl or guy to a barbecue place, man. Get that potato salad, the cornbread. Douse in a little honey, dude. But no matter how many things you say that are edible, it doesn't make the love between them any stronger, Brendan. It does. There's a lot of love. You've got to add on another element to the eating. No, dude.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Brendan's all about food. If you split a Thick Boys Unite, if you split a full rack of ribs with someone, nothing says I love you like that, dude. You could even go to Chili's. You get a chocolate shake, full rack of ribs. Put a little bib on. My girl used to like those things from Chili's, the egg rolls or whatever. The Santa Fe egg rolls where they cut them at an angle so it goes in your mouth easier? Damn, Brendan.
Starting point is 01:10:23 I guess, bro. Why do you think your girl liked them, son? It's the angle, dog. I didn't know you were the Dexter of snacks over here. Well, you better learn your boy a little better, bro. Hey, maybe it's a good time to get to know your boys a little bit better, you know? Jim, tell us something about you we don't know, man,
Starting point is 01:10:40 that'll help us get to know you a little bit better. Maybe spend the night with your friends who's a dude and watch some romantic comedies watch some golden girls i watched golden girls the other day it's so good it's so funny god it's so good so good dude impeccable writing have the homies over have the bros over golden girls friday night have the whiskey flowing see what happens see what happens i know what. I know what's going to happen. Everybody's going to leave and I'm going to go to sleep, dude. Which is what's supposed to happen. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Maybe, Theo. But you got to give it a shot, dude. What was your question for Chin? Tell us something new about me. No, tell us something. Something new about me? Yeah, we're trying to learn about you, Chin. It's about love.
Starting point is 01:11:19 It's Valentine's Day. Tell us something we should know about you. I don't even know where to start. You guys ask me something, I'll tell you. Well, see, that's the problem with people today. Nobody wants to go out on a branch and share about themselves. Tell us something, Chin. I'm trying to think what's new about me.
Starting point is 01:11:32 I'm guessing you guys know mostly everything about me. Tell us something from your heart. How have things been going with your new girlfriend? I think it's since early January. She says it's late January. Because we didn't talk about actually monogamous commitment until early January. She says it's late January. Because we didn't talk about actually monogamous commitment until late January.
Starting point is 01:11:49 And are you guys monogamous or are you guys... Wait, I'm thinking of... Polyamorous? No. Polygamy? No. Mongolian? Mongolian, yeah. Oh, yeah. Not Mongolian. But it seems to be going.
Starting point is 01:12:05 How often are you seeing her? She already had plans to go traveling. So we see each other probably like 10 times already. That's it. And how many times until, like, what do you guys, is there a certain number of times you're like, okay, now this is it? We're in this for life? I don't know. We'll have to see.
Starting point is 01:12:24 It's still freaking really brand new. And it is is my best friend so it's also different oh that's crazy 20 years best friend 20 years wow i mean i know i've known her for 20 years but best friends for like you know and how nervous were you to take it over over the friend zone it's pretty nerve-wracking because i don't know what's going to happen. It sounds like we're interviewing Steve Carell on fucking four-year-old virgin. Yeah, man, our tits felt like sandbags. It wasn't that nerve-wracking when you took out that big tittied white we had for you.
Starting point is 01:12:55 I know. Yeah, you seemed pretty comfortable with that, fucking guzzling down that sock y'all damn night. Did it for the team. Have you taken your girl to, has your girl seen you in your environment With Korean BBQ Slaying that meat on your lips
Starting point is 01:13:07 Oh yeah Oh your girl's white No she's Vietnamese Wow Look at these two Carpal tunnel Asian girls We got the X-Men over here
Starting point is 01:13:24 I love it man tunnel and some fucking Asian girls, bro. We got the X-Men over here, bro. I love it, man. That chant's so vague about his girl. I gotta see it to believe it, dude. You met her multiple times. I got CT, bro. I have no idea. You'll see her again this weekend. I'm gonna question her up.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Question her up. I appreciate it. What about Nick? Is love in the air around your relationship? What's. Oh, yeah? I appreciate it. Okay. Oh, damn. What about Nick? Is love in the air around your relationship? What's going on, Nick? It's going really well. She was here last night. She helped me decorate.
Starting point is 01:13:52 She's awesome. We went, me, you, and her all went to bull riding this weekend at Staples Center. That was pretty wild. Oh, yeah? The three of you went? You were the third wheel? Yeah. It was awesome.
Starting point is 01:14:01 We had some other friends, but yeah. It was awesome. The bull riding? Dude, it's amazing. Is it? Let friends, but yeah. It was awesome. The bull riding? Dude, it's amazing. Is it? Let me ask you this. You want to talk about true love? Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 01:14:11 Fucking grabbing a rope to a bull's nuts. Real love. It's not to his nuts. It's around his waist. Yeah. Educate. Boys, it's to his nuts. That's why he's bucking.
Starting point is 01:14:19 No. That's why he's bucking. They would not do that. They do something to his nuts. That's what they do, dude. Look, there is a guy tickling him a little. His name is Craig Conant. I got fired from that too.
Starting point is 01:14:33 Yeah. Let me ask you about the rodeo. The first like 30 minutes, you're like, damn, this is crazy. About an hour mark, you're like, I'm ready to go. No, it started to get, I just didn't know what was going on. And it was called Iron Cowboy, where it's like in the beginning, there's 20 guys, they all ride. And then it goes down to eight guys, and then it goes down to four,
Starting point is 01:14:53 and then it goes down to two. So towards the end, I mean, they're riding every like two minutes. They're riding each other hard. Yeah, at the end, sometimes you have two guys that come out on each other, just barebacking each other. And it's pretty like, whoa, dude. This is a little much. But it was amazing, bro.
Starting point is 01:15:06 It was amazing, man. I could see it getting old if you had shitty seats, but the PBR, they took care of us. We were right up in front. Bulls were running right past us.
Starting point is 01:15:15 So it was cool? Yeah. That'd be fun to go to. Yeah. We got to go up right above the shoots where they let out the bulls. We were like five feet
Starting point is 01:15:23 away from it. It was dope. Yeah. A couple times you got to be right up above and sat on the side. The clown that does the middle stuff, he's amazing. Yeah, real dumbass. They're like
Starting point is 01:15:31 the Dalmatian of humans. You know what I'm saying? You say Dalmatian? Dalmatians. You know Dalmatians are the only dogs dumb enough to run into a house on fire. That's why firefighters fuck with them. Really? Yeah. Wow. Or that's bravery, dude. Depends how you look at it.
Starting point is 01:15:47 Just like the clown in the rodeo. Is it bravery or does he have no other gig going on? That's a good point. Regarding the welfare of animals, PBR's policy. There's some literature for you. Let me read it from their side. I like the bulls' opinion. The bulls are sexy, though, some of them.
Starting point is 01:16:06 They're meaty, right? Them boys are roided up, too. Some of them have been accused of using stuff. Are they riding, like, the same Bull? Yeah, the Bulls are on tour as well. So the Bulls have, like, different rankings and stuff as the Bulls. People don't even know. They have tour managers and shit. They, like, essentially draft which Bull they're going to ride,
Starting point is 01:16:23 and they kind of know which one's which. I don't know exactly how it works. And is it still eight seconds yeah goal yep eight seconds but you get judged also so you need you want to you got to have some style if you're just holding on to that there's some black bull riders huh yeah yeah i've met a young guy really yeah i met a guy named devon it's i met another dude named larry it came in or devon it was devon actually it was devon devon nice on that bull uh he wasn't right he had ridden the day before but he was uh they probably have a little more swag when they're on that i would have loved to see that at nasa he was bumping chapelle's mixtape. Eight seconds. To get hype. Yeah, he was listening. He's the only writer that came out to lean with it rock. Genuine My Pony.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Yeah. Oh, one of the writers, Jess Lockwood, he was just on this past weekend podcast. He came out and he played our theme song in the beginning. Oh, that's cool. Pretty cool, man. Did he do well? Yeah, he got, I think, fourth. He made it to the second night,
Starting point is 01:17:26 which was far enough. And he's the 2017-2019 world champ, so he's a stud. And he's only 22 years old, he's a millionaire. Is that young for riding bulls? You get aged out around like 35, pretty much,
Starting point is 01:17:38 but he's still kind of a phenom. And also, you have to wear helmets now, but if you're born before 1994, you don't have to wear a helmet. So there's a few out there with just their cowboy hat. You see those dudes rolling out there with just hats. Oh, weak. The other guy's got fucking Raiders helmets on? It looks like women's softball. Oh, weak.
Starting point is 01:17:57 It looks like the cricket helmet, like they're wearing cricket. Oh, weak, man. I want that cowboy hat. I agree. I want cowboy brain, dude, if you don't do well. I want cowboy brain. Yeah, dude. I want that cowboy hat. I agree. I want that cowboy brain, dude, if you don't do well. Yeah, dude. I want that bull brain. Hell yeah. Well, love her birds. Love her birds, man. Love you guys, dude. Maybe you guys are watching this
Starting point is 01:18:16 and trying to figure life out with your loved one. Maybe they're doing that, dude. We need more love out there, though. That's the truth, isn't it? Speaking of, can I pitch a new segment on air? Maybe we'll cut this out. Yeah. But it's been hard to try to get people on dates, actually go out and get them, people we trust anyways.
Starting point is 01:18:32 What if we have people send in their Tinder profiles, the pictures they're using and their profiles? We help them. And we coach them up. Yes. And then they update us later, the follow-up. See if they're getting more matches and stuff. Guys and gals be like, what's going on here? No one's really swiping right.
Starting point is 01:18:50 I'm like, oh, you should take a picture like this or do this on your profile. Yeah. I'd be down. Yeah, what could we call it, you think? Splinter my Tinder? That's only a half rhyme, but. It's close, though. It sounds like something I would think up and then just unthink it.
Starting point is 01:19:06 I'm joking, man. We'll workshop this week, but send those in and just put Tinder in the profile. That's really good. I like that. Love you guys, man. Thank you guys for being here. I love you, man. Yeah, love you, too.
Starting point is 01:19:16 Love you, too. Love you, too, man. Thank you. Love you, Nick. Where are you going to be at, Doug? And I love you, Chin. You're in... Even though you're in some vague relationship with your stepmother.
Starting point is 01:19:26 Or stepdad. I don't you, Chin. You're in... Even though you're in some vague relationship with your stepmother. Or stepdad. I don't know, dude. It's very vague. Last week, it was a weightlifter from Fresno. Remember? It keeps changing, man. It's dicey, dude. Very dicey.
Starting point is 01:19:36 You're in Oroville? Yeah, I'll be at Oroville Casino this week. I have tickets. They just went on sale for Maui. Maui, Hawaii February March 7th I'm jealous dude Well at least you'll know If it goes well
Starting point is 01:19:48 Then it's a good place To go to You're gonna be good dude I'm excited man They don't get a lot of stuff Over there on the island You know No they should get like
Starting point is 01:19:55 Joe Coy and fucking I don't know who else Goes to Hawaii Gabriel Yeah Yeah That's about it And then Theo Vaughn
Starting point is 01:20:02 Go see him man I'm in Ontario Improv this weekend And then next week I'm in Ontario Improv this weekend. And then next week I'm in Vancouver for the JFL Comedy Festival. One night only. Friday, Vogue Theater. And then I have to go to Tacoma, Washington. Gang, man.
Starting point is 01:20:15 And I'll have to bring Chappelle and Craig out with me to a show soon. That'd be fun, man. I would love that. I don't know where we'll do it, but we'll pick a date here sometime soon. That'd be fun. Get these boys out here. Thanks for coming to the Culture Corner, guys. Yeah, appreciate you guys, man.
Starting point is 01:20:27 Thank you. Dang.

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