The Golden Hour - Episode 56: The Grateful Bread

Episode Date: February 21, 2020

The guys introduce an All New Segment - Shiver Me Tinder, and talk Theo's Every Growing Ass, NWA Lays, Lil Ruffles, Stumbler Shapel, Baby Hippo Theo, Snow Cone Stand Brendan, Cock Steady and Bebop, Albuquerque Butt Lifts, Mochi and Cigs, Minor League Hockey, Male Cheerleaders, PBR, Postmates Pups and much more!Manscaped - https://manscaped.com/ use code: KATSLiquid IV - https://liquidiv.com/ use code: KATSBetterHelp - https://betterhelp.com/katsShipStation - https://shipstation.com/ offer code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. The rigid what? The lays that have ridges in them. They don't have that.

Is that not lays? No, that's ruffles. Oh, I like the ruffles. They cut the top of my mouth. Ruffles was my nickname when I was a kid. Really? Yeah. You want to bring it back?

Huh? Ruffles? Why did they call you that? I think because I was just like a ruffly little guy. Theo just over here will ruffle you up. Yeah, you're like a little prickly. Just going to ruffle you up. A little porcupine, dude.

Brendan looks like he won his outfit in Ski Ball, dude. That's the worst looking outfit I've ever seen, bro. Look at you, dude. Bro, you look like every Panama City, Florida lesbian, bro. Oh, my God. You look like shit, dude. Yeah, but that's how I look. Yeah, I know.

That's a problem, dude. Yeah, I was born this way. You look like a transgender ref at a hot dog eating contest. What are you wearing, dude? All right, don't touch the buns, still the whistle. You know the rules, fellas. No, I'm just saying, dude. Bro, I'm just saying, if one of us was a Chili Frito, it'd be you.

What? Bro, have you seen your hat? Dude, have you seen your hair? Bro, your hat looked like something An old lady would wear to knit in Dude, I stole it from Bobby Lee Be cool, man Did you really? Yeah

I could see that a little Oh, coming hot, dude What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? Dude, why do you look like Chester Cheeto? Aye, aye, aye. Dude, you know how old school he is? Chester Cheeto?

Yeah. He has the same nose. Does he? Yeah. Let's pull him up, man. Can we pull up Chester Cheeto? Hey, Chin, you know who Chester Cheeto is? Yeah.

Let's pull up that Chester. Chin, you look like a Chili Frito type of dude. Chili Frito? Yeah. I like baked lays. Barbecue. Baked lays? Baked lays barbecue.

Oh, I thought you meant fucking in the sunshine. Baked lays. Baking them lays, baby. You look like, you know what? Nick looks like a Funyuns guy. You think? Yeah. You'd have Funyuns in the back of your car. Not a Funyuns guy. like a Funyuns guy. You think? Yeah. You'd have Funyuns in the back of your car.

Not a Funyuns guy. Not a Funyuns guy. Wow, Nick even took offense being a Funyuns guy there. It's hard to offend Nick. He got upset. The fuck you say, boy? What? Oh, I do have the same nose as Chessie Cheeto, dude.

You look like Chessie Cheeto. Could be your dad. Remember him? I don't remember saying aye, aye, aye. Him and Tony, yeah, somebody said him the Tony and the tiger got in a fight Bro that's basically y'all Yeah it is It is a little huh

It is Tony the tiger and Chester the cheetah Yeah I like now See I like a nice I know we're stuck on food Cause we're telling them How thick our lower portions of our body are

Yeah Yours don't match at all Well these pants are so tight dude Dude your jeans came in just Struggle city dude Yeah they feel painful They're about to bust Yours don't match at all. Well, these pants are so tight, dude. Dude, your jeans came in just struggle city, dude. Yeah, they feel painful. They're about to bust. I think I need to get an IV for my jeans.

That levy's about to break, brother. The thing is, you came in the jeans all... I was like, dude, what's going on? That's the threading. Yeah. Smuggling some shit. Dude, if you put your ear up to my pants, bro, what's going on? That's the threading. Yeah. Smuggling some shit. Dude, if you put your ear up to my face, bro. It's a heartbeat.

Huh? It's a heartbeat. Yeah, if you put your ear up to my face, you can hear my heart. It's tight in here. Put your ear next to your ass, you hear a workout video. And one, and two, and three, and four, and five. Why's your ass so swole these days? I've been going to get your ass in here and work out video. And one, and two, and three, and four, and one, and two. Why is your ass so swole these days? I've been going to a trainer.

Who's this fucking trainer? I need to see them, dude. Because your ass is down. When you walked in, it was all gone. It doesn't make sense. You got that cardi B, son. Yeah, I got that cardi bottom, dude. The problem with me is, one of the problems is,

the bottom half of my body looks different than the top half of my body. It looks like my top half is me and the bottom half is like a rental. No, it's like, no, it's like top half soccer mom, bottom half, just a fucking NFL running back. Like you're a fullback for the Steelers or some shit. Just in big haunches, dude. It's getting big down here, dude. Are you getting a lot of attention on the streets?

No. You're probably not paying attention to it. First of all, I don't want people seeing me for having a big butt, dude. I already have a very unique look. It's the last thing I need. Also, I beat down syndrome. A lot of people know that. This is one of the side effects. Oh, that Down Butts.

Oh, dude. Dude, them boys got the backside. Bro, when I was growing up, I used to hang out with black. They had a black girl with Down Syndrome in our school named Clara Nett. Da, da, da, da, da. First and second name, Clara Nett. Not Clara Nett. Clara Nett.

Yeah. Yeah. And people would always make us be on the same team for everything. I bet, dude. She was cool. Clarinet and ruffles. Let's get at it, boy. Little ruffles, dog.

Little ruffles with that fucking ass. You know little ruffles? Yeah, it's weird, man. You can't wash jeans. You can't wash jeans. Yeah. wash jeans yeah one washer i gotta give my jeans away doug well i feel like i have i feel like uh ever actually screw all you guys have big asses dude everybody i know everybody this is big ass city big ass city dude this is big ass gas nation although although nick has that Mr. Burns ass.

Look at him. He has the flat ass. He's got that young heater, bro. Nick's ass is still growing, dude. I don't think. I think it's done. He's got those prima cheeks, bro. I feel left out.

We'll go to Theo's trainer, bro. We'll see what we can do, man. Dude, I feel like my ass is getting so big. I feel like it's going to fucking sneak up on me. Like hit me in the back of the head. I'm not even joking. I'm afraid to put my wallet in my own pants. This thing's mine now, boy.

You're asking to rob you? Yeah, yeah. Dude, I feel like somebody's picking my ass up by like a string and just pulling it up into the air. I wish the viewers could see it. like somebody's picking my ass up by like a string and just pulling it up into the air i don't think so dude dude you really gotta move dude you ever seen the hippo you ever seen the hippo in madagascar get out the water that's the old That thing is crisp. That eater, bro. Yeah, this is you, bro.

This is you, dude. The hip on the water. You know flamingos can have up to 11 children? In one sitting? Yeah. Was this it? You know flamingos can have up to 11 children in one sitting? Yeah. Did we just hit? Oh, shit. The hippos are shaking its ass. You guys have the same nose.

Yeah, that's a gang right there. Shut up. What are you talking about? Dude, you look like a baby hippo. Bro, you look like a... Are you not aware? You look like like a baby hippo. Are you not aware? You look like a fucking baby hippo. There he is.

There he is. Calm down, bro. Ooh, look at that chest, baby. He's jacked. Look at this big boy's dick. Yeah.

Ooh, yeah. Look at his butt. Hi. Oh, fuck. It's thick. It's thick. Oh, yeah. Look at his butt. Hippo shit, bro. Oh, man. That hippo shit, bro. Do you come from a family of big asses? Big and chunky, dude. No, I told you.

I almost had Down syndrome, and I've just slipped out of his hinges. But they left you the good stuff. Oh, bro. It's half in and half out. Hell, yeah. It flares up. Dude, if you see me waiting for a school bus, I'll tell you this. If seven school buses drove by, the short ones always would stop for me, dude.

They'd always be like, you ready? Come on, you ready? I'd be like, nah. You don't want to be late. I'd say, nah, I'm on the big one. I'm on the big one. And the lady would look at me. She'd be like, you sure, honey?

Yeah. Yeah. And she'd usually ask me a times table or ask me an addition table. Yeah. And if I got it right, she'd say, all right right she said all right keep on your toes yeah good luck out there but dude you also look like shit brendan you i don't want us to forget that brendan looks like every fucking big girl that works at a snow cone stand That's what I feel like. Vernon's like, oh, you want condensed milk on that? That's so disgusting. What do you want, tiger's blood?

That's so disgusting. Dude, Ruffles, listen, bro. Listen, little Ruffles. Listen, Ruffles. Oh, I love that you look like a baby hippo. What's this, Nick? Jin, don't think we forgot about your flat ass either. Damn.

You got that ping pong table ass, bro. You ain't fooling anybody. Show the camera. I have no ass. Zero. Zero ass. Zero. Jin has a staple of jeans to his ass.

A staple of jeans to his ass. He has to gather his shirt back up. Bro, Chin, he could be one of those cornhole games. He just lays down. He just aimed for his butthole. Or open your mouth and play skee-ball with that ass going out. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, Jim thought he was going to sneak out of this one.

I know, I was hoping, damn it. No, bro, I've been waiting, dude. You think Nick's the only one with a flat ass around here? In here, it's just ass central. Peach up. It's peach season, baby. Peach season. Hey, let's make some cobbler ruffles.

Bro, we got Chappelle Lacey and we got Kat in today. Welcome back, Kat. Hey, thanks. You look lovely today. Kat got a tan, huh? Yeah, huh? Yeah, I tan real easy. What did you do?

I went to the beach. Oh, wow. It's crazy. You went to the beach in Brendan's dress like he did. Brendan looks like a bouncer at a fucking gay sand castle. How do you not make any Grateful Dead fucking references? Sorry. More like Grateful Bread. Come on, dude.

Come on, dude. That yeast. Bro. Your brother would like this vibe.. That yeast. Yeah, bro. Your brother would like this vibe. He would like that vibe, man. He really would. I can't remember if I thought this up or if I read this online. Somebody said, Brennan looks like the kind of guy that during hide and go seek, right when the person starts counting, he runs up to him and he goes, hey, come find me first.

Okay. He runs up to him and he goes, hey, come find me first. And I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my life. It's just such a funny thing. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. It's so creative. It's so funny. Oh, man.

One, two. Come find me first time. I won't say anything. I can't remember. I think I read that online. I'm not taking credit for it, but it was just, bro, it's been in my head. Every couple of days it comes in. It makes me feel good, man.

It's hilarious. It makes me feel good. Dude, if I was counting, I would find you first, brother. Thanks, brother. Amen, man. I'd let you find me, though. I'd tell you where I'm hiding. I'll be under your bed.

Yeah, that'd be even crazier. The kid that comes up and tells you where he's hiding. Oh, man, I'm sweating. It's hot in there now. You're right, Nick. Dude, it's hot in my pants where it's 700 degrees. Let's get into it, man. What is that, Nick?

What is that? This was some reconnaissance work our editor Joe did. Shout out behind the scenes Joe. But I don't know. He just found some of Chappelle's cheer career. Oh, man. Oh, hell yeah. You cool with us watching this?

I don't care. I mean, you got it up. Shit. Now, it says tumbling and cheer is that two different things what is it yeah like tumbling is just like just a gymnastics part on the map where they're flipping and shit is that what you you were a tumbler mm-hmm well I was I did both I was just oh damn all right don't brag don't why Arizona yeah I was when I was coaching your

girls are still eating because I was coaching. Your girls are sick. I was cheerleading because I was in a punk rock band and I had a big crush on my drummer's sister. She was like a popular girl in school. She did cheerleading. Is this Cheer Season 2 on Netflix? When I was like 7 years old. And she was doing flips. I was like, hey, I know how to do that stuff.

And she didn't believe me and I had still rocking that red hot chili pepper shirt bro you stay on that grind why do you have a haircut like a 55 year old man I've never been picked on for being a male cheerleader I've always been more respected it's a different reaction oh shit oh look at little zone that's Zo Montalvo right there! Boy that's Zo! Really? You know but... You get over it, eventually. Lonzo's a baddie. He's a potty! I never really cared what people thought.

And if someone has tried to disrespect me for it, I've probably never noticed it. So... Damn was that a Zo hit man? No that was my... I never picked on him for being my best friend. And I'm a big fan of on for being my best friend. First of all, the only person here that's dressed like they still have a best friend is Brenda.

That is a fact. I look like I got no friends or what? You look like you have many friends, but... Not a best friend. Not a best friend. Just a lot of friends. Not one best. Jamel, what's going on here, man? I don't know.

I didn't make this video. This seemed like part of a taste. Oh, no. My friend, she did it for her college project. What's going on with little Zoe there? Was he your friend? Little Zoe? Yeah, he cheered.

Oh, was he good? Come on. Was he good? Better than me. Oh, wow. Come on. Damn. Man, you got to pull up the real cheerleading of me, man.

That's false. Is this not real? That's false. Yeah, it is. Is there no video of you doing flips and shit? Yeah. You can look online. And you know, also, George Bush was a cheerleader.

That second video. George Bush was? He did? Yeah. What's up, guys? It's man late. Oh, now you got to fade now. You're looking tight.

Oh, damn. Oh, wow. Let's see this. That's you're looking tight. Oh, damn. Oh, wow. Let's see this. That's you there? Yeah. Damn. Jeez. Damn.

Yeah. Instead of you saying it. Wow, bro. Are these outtakes for American Pie 2? What? Oh, no. Y'all thought I was bullshitting, bro. Yeah. What? Oh, my God, dude. You should be in Japan. Whoa, no Y'all thought I was bullshitting, bro Yeah

What? Oh my god, dude You should be in Japan At least American Ninja Warrior Dude, that's Cirque du Soleil Take your ass to Vegas Fuck this stand-up game, dude I know, I wish

God, bro God, don't you get dizzy? No No? Oh, no Who's this? Shorty want a thug Who's that? God, don't you get dizzy? No. No? Oh, now? Who's this? Shorty want a thug.

Who's that? That's my best friend, Brooke. Still your best friend? Yeah, I got best friends. I'm haters, bro. Damn. Damn, dude. Haters stay down.

Haters stay down. Damn. Got that prison bod, son. You're fucking shred city, bro. Bro, if you put on a wig, this bitch is fine. That's all I'm saying. You got to get a wig on. Shoddy thick.

You get a wig on. We got problems, bro. Damn, bro. Damn. Wesley Pikes over here, dog. Wow. Damn, that's your best friend, though? Yeah, one of my best friends.

Bro, why are you jealous, dude? Yeah, pretty jealous. She's married and has a kid. Oh, you guys are best friends? Bro, are you jealous, dude? Yeah, pretty jealous. She's married and has a kid. Oh, you guys are best friends? But not when you guys were cheering. She did not, no. And did you? Did I what?

Did you have a girlfriend when you were cheering? No, my first girlfriend is, how old am I, 33? That's the 31. Yeah, man. Oh, this girlfriend's your first girlfriend? Yeah, ever. Tiffany, what's girl, this girlfriend's your first girlfriend? Yeah, ever. Tiffany, what's her name? Her name's not Tiffany. Well, I bet you're

beating them off with a stick as a cheerleader, though. Am I right? Yeah, that's the thing, though. Weren't you around a ton of women with cheerleading? It would seem like

there's just a ton of women right there. There is. Yeah. And I bet you had some fun. And I don't like to, I don't like to, I don't talk about that.

You don't kiss and tell. Yeah. You don't flip and tell. Oh. You don't flip and tell. Oh, what's up? That's a new word. And have you ever, have there ever been a pregnant girl

you could lift up or just non-pregnant? There was one girl that didn't know she was pregnant. Oh, and she was tumbling around and shit? Yeah. Well,

she was a mom. Well, I mean, well, she ended up being a mom. Did she have the baby? Yeah, she had the baby.

Yeah, that's what happens. Well, not if she's tumbling and doing flips and shit and probably lost the kid. You know what I'm saying? Well, she ended up being a mom. Did she have the baby? Yeah, she had the baby. But she didn't know she was pregnant. That's what happens. Well, not if she's tumbling and doing flips and shit. Probably lost the kid. You know what I'm saying? Well. Can't do all that stuff. Shake the kid up, dude.

Yeah. Shake, round and roll. Kid came out somersaulting that night. The kid came out breached, dude. Double breach. Double back breach. Double back breach. Good Matt talk, dude.

Oh, you can watch that doc. I can't get enough of it. Oh, cheer that new show? Yeah, I finished it. I can't get enough of it. Oh, Cheer, that new show? Yeah, I finished it. I haven't seen it yet. You should check it out. What are you guys watching? What is the Vietnamese community watching right now?

I've been watching Cheer. I also finished watching You and the Witcher on Netflix. Oh, wow. How good is You? No, D'Lea's in You. Season two. It's so good. I haven't gotten there yet.

I'm still on season... I just finished season one. The main character, I don't really like that much he's like uh i don't know he's like yeah i don't know i go off and on him he's kind of like a shitty dexter yeah yeah but i don't think you're supposed to completely like him yeah you're right just an agreeance so quick so legit point Do you know flamingos can have almost 11 children at once? Can you look that up, Jim?

Do you know why flamingos are pink? Yep. Why? Because one of the reasons is they need they need other penguins

to see them at night. Yep, not a penguin, but because the food they eat, it's the shrimpies they eat. The food that they eat is pink. So their bodies are pink. Yeah, I knew that. Jin, did you look that up? That's your job, bro.

Yes, you specifically. I mean, you can't see it on screen, though. I think flamingos are... Yeah, but how about some maybe information, Jin? Oh, man. When's the last time you were shaving your junk and you thought, you know what, man? This just isn't worth anymore. It's too much of a hassle.

I keep cutting my nutsack. It's exhausting. I'm just going to grab... It's exhausting, dude. Well, then you got to get your fitness up, man. It looks like Jumanji down there. Does it? Wow.

It's too much work, dude. I wish there was some sort of... There is, Brendan. Grooming product I could use. Well, there is, man. All right. Tell me about it. There is.

It's called Manscaped. Oh, wow. And look, it's forever changing the grooming game. They have their perfect package 3.0 essentials kit. It's new. And it's the perfect amount of tools and what you need to tighten up your sexual area wow dude oh yeah man dude and it also comes with a crop preserver an anti-chafing ball deodorant oh my god because people's balls aren't doing well and they know that at man they sweat

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Oh, my God, dude. I've been so dehydrated. You know what? They sent me this. I thought, what is this? And then I read it. I went, hold up. It's the fastest, most efficient way to stay hydrated.

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Yeah, man. Dude, it's so crazy though. I had to double down on it. Because you got to hydrate, bro. Your brain's getting dry. I can't even hear. Liquid IV can provide the same hydration as drinking two to three bottles of water. That's nuts. I'm glad you said that.

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I love this stuff, man. It got the perfect amount of a little bit of salt, a little bit of sweet, a little bit of this and that, and boom. Salty sweet. Like licking your skin, baby. Oh, bro. It's like sucking on your cousin, bro. It's good. What?

You don't have any cousins? You're naked? Oh, what'd you do for Valentine's Day, dude? What did I do? Did you cry yourself to sleep? No, not much, man. Had a couple chocolates, did a date line line there was a new date line on thank god it's like they knew people were going to be by themselves yeah you got a box of carmels a little date line no what did i have i did maybe

get your cheeks out i polished off some of those mochis those mochi candies those mochis frozen snacks as snacks oh are those the little discs with ice cream in the middle and they're they have like almost a wax or like a flower on them they're asian right they're nice yeah they're good you get a pack six yeah they had a pack of eight i thought it was only six and they had two in the back what a gift what a gift what a night for you god i had three of them a pack of mochis i had three of them. A pack of mochis. I had three of them. A couple cigarettes.

And a cigarette. Two cigarettes, actually. You're living the dream, brother. Don't cry. I'm not. It was awesome. That sounds like happiness to me. Way better, my man. Dude, it was great, man.

It's way better than having somebody. What about you, Brendan? What did you guys get into? I had to work. You did? I got really sick. Yeah, I was working in Ontario. Super sick.

On Valentine's? Got through the shows. Put my girl some flowers. She wasn't that appreciative of them. But, you know, figure it out. And Kat, newly single. What's it like to have a Valentine's Day as a single woman? It was cool.

I hung out with my girlfriends and purposefully stayed away from men. Wow. I think it's weird because I got an offer to go out on Valentine's Day, but that would have been a first date, and I feel like that's too much pressure. Do you want to go out with the guy, though? I don't want to go out with the guy. I just want to get to know people. That's it. I don't want to really hang out, hang out. What do you want to go out with a guy i just want to get to know people that's it you know like i don't want to really hang out hang out but what do you want to do then like grab food and then

like go home by myself afterwards yeah let them know that you know let them know see if they're interested she's letting yeah yeah yeah they know no no they don't yeah you don't see them and what kind of men are these men we're talking about? Are we talking men or are we talking boys, Kat? We're talking men. I like older guys. How old? 50? I'm talking to a dude that's 32 right now.

Is that that old? Just a little older. Well, older than me. Right, yeah. Kat's young, dude. She is? What are you, 22, 23? 24.

Oh, my God. So 32, that's like Bernie Sanders to her. Yeah. That's true, huh? I wouldn't say that's like Bernie Sanders to her. Yeah. That's true, huh? I wouldn't say Bernie Sanders, but... You know? Yeah. Yeah, so you like them older men, Kat.

You like guys who don't play games, have their shit together. Is he a white boy? No, Asian. Wow. I'm just off on this. You're going Asian, huh? Even Chin was surprised. He thought I was going to go out with a white guy afterwards

That's what I thought, for sure But you decided to go Asian Well, this one, yes But it's not that It's not that serious yet That's good, that's really good It's not that serious It's not that serious, no

And are you looking for anything serious right now or not? No, that's why I gotta take it slow with this You want your uncles over here? Uncle Ruffles and Little Thick here to interview him? You want us to put him through the grinder? I think I'm good. This one's a solid dude. Put him through the grinder?

We look like Cocksteady and Bebop. Hell yeah, dog. Like, yeah, bro. Do not lick. Look at us, dude. Do not lick your bottom lip. Dude, we look ridiculous, man. Yeah, this is how I look.

You look fucking outrageous, dude. I do? Dude, are you kidding me? With your cartoon ass? And the Annalise upper body? You look like your whole body went through puberty except for your tits, bro. You look like a fucking... Dude, you look like you got a Brazilian butt lift in fucking Albuquerque.

I got two of them. Two for one. $79.99. What's back there, tamales? Oh, man, my butt fucking hurts so big. It's hurting my neck. I need to have a talk with your trainer, man. I keep telling her, arms, arms.

She's like, nah, you're good, man. Just have to come with the frog ones. She's like, give arms in your butt. We're building biceps in your ass, Theo. I can't take it anymore. Even after shows, people are like, damn, dude, you got a big butt. Dude, we're so distracted with your ass. I know.

Well, you got a female trainer? Oh, yeah, I got a female trainer. That's usually frowned upon, too. Yours looks like Fabio? Yeah. And she's a female? No, he got a female trainer that's usually frowned upon too yours looks like Fabio yeah and she's a female no he's a he it's a man huh

it's a man a lot of this woman is yeah a decent lady her name's Shannon is she hot she's an attractive girl female trainer is tough man

but I find I work out better with a female trainer because what you do playboy it just makes me a little bit more I don't know i don't or maybe

it's just her maybe it's just her but she like puts down the she like there's no bsing with her yeah you better get after it yeah she puts it down yeah there's no bs no or nothing and then she just got you pushing that sled with your ass out monday and friday do you know what it is? Just squatting all the time. Working nine to five. You know what it is? A lot of male trainers have egos. You think? Yeah, female trainers don't have egos. If they're bad ones, though.

If they're bad ones. There's some good male trainers out there for sure, yeah. Yeah, I don't. This lady, she's kind of, she's pretty gangster. She's pretty wild. I like them all. I think there's good in both. Yeah, I like them all.

I needed it. I just need somebody to get me going. I don do uh male masseuses though you don't can't relax dude i just can't it's just i just yeah it's just i don't know i just can't i just can't get to that spot you feel me i'm just always tight like a cat in water i'm just always tight you're sitting there with a shield and a knife you're just gonna massage your legs like go for it bro i like them thighs them thighs i go get that thigh massage bro and them thighs will run up and down your back bro dude dude will run across the room fucking run from a cross room and kick me in the fucking back you say. Thighs or ties? Ties. Ties. Thighs. Thigh massage.

Thigh massage. Yeah. Yeah. Thigh massage. Thigh massage. You got to finish like that at the end. Yeah. Ooh, I like that.

And they always be real secretive to each other, too. Yeah. They always talk to each other in the language, and you have no idea what's going on. You have no idea. At least some languages, I feel like you get a little bit of an idea. Yeah. There could be no idea. You think that they're saying bye and then the guy

just takes his eyeballs out of his head no idea or she goes on break and comes back you're just waiting there yeah no pants on yeah you ever had that you ever had a hardy's a tie hardy's hey you ever you ever get those massages and it's you and another guy in the room it's two and one have you ever had that oh i can they walk on your back oh yeah i've done that dude what a waste of fucking time but for 60 there's two dudes they'll stand on your back and start fighting each other downtown i'm not even joking it's two vietnamese dudes, I forget who told me. Someone told me, dude, you need to go to this Russian spa, man. You go in there and these guys beat you with these fucking sticks and then hit you with honey and then douse you in like... Was it you, Chin?

What? Tell me about getting beat with sticks. This sounds like something Chin would do to meet a woman. And then douse you in water? No, not me. What's wrong with this group? I don't know, dude. Bro, every time I look at you, I feel like I have to go to summer camp.

That's how I feel like, dude. Bro, you look like definitely the dude who wants to play freeze tag at summer camp all the time. Oh, I love freeze tag, bro. I knew it. I love freeze tag. Wins lunch, and the dude is always like I knew it. I love Freestag. Wins lunch. And the dude's always like, wins lunch. And he just got there.

Mom just dropped him off. Tweeted a whole day. Wins lunch. Yeah. Wins lunch. Oh, no more kickball. Ah, wins lunch. Wins lunch.

Should be my nickname. Yeah, yeah. Wins lunch. You know Ruffles and wins lunch? Yeah, yeah. Wynn's Lunch. You know Ruffles and Wynn's Lunch? Yeah, yeah. We got that show together, man. Ruffles and Wynn's Lunch. It sounds like maybe something you would see in Japan, aren't you?

Or a new sitcom. Yeah. Yeah, or a new sitcom. New sitcom coming this fall. So that's it. What'd you do on Valentine's? I was in Houston. Oh, yeah?

Doing shows, yeah. Oh, dang. My girlfriend and I celebrated when I got back yeah yeah nice did a staycation staycation is nice though right what's down there ace hotel that's where we stay. Yeah? Yeah. That's pretty nice. I heard it's pretty fun. Had ramen. Oh, nice. Oh, shit.

Doing culture. Yeah. Nick, what did you do? I think I won, to be honest. You won what? Valentine's Day out of anybody. Theo sounds fantastic. I don't know.

I mean, for what they did with the lady, not for the people who were alone. Okay, good. But, yeah, so. He took his lady lady, not for the people who are alone. Okay, go ahead. But, yeah, so. He took his lady north, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. So last week, the night of the Super Bowl, a tree fell on my car. Directly on his car, too. And we'll put the photo in.

It's absolutely magical. He sends me it. I thought he made it fake. He's like, oh, Nick's trying to not work today. Literally a tree. Like a giant tree fell on top of your car. Yeah, yeah. Something from Tom and Jerry, dude. It's crazy.

And so anyways, my car's in the shop. So I got a rental and all they had left was this of like the level I could afford, like the higher one, was a Chevy Camaro convertible. So I decided to go up the coast to Santa Barbara with the top down, got a hotel, had roses in the hotel room. And then we got there. It was good. Mr. Steal, you're a girl. Wow, Doug. Got the Camaro, got the titties out.

That's what they call it when you put the top down. I'm trying to be driving. Holy shit. Just get a new car, though, you know? Yeah, it's totaled. I haven't heard how much I'm going to get back from it. I hope I don't get screwed. Say you were in it, dude.

Say your neck hurts and your Rolex broke, too. Agreed. Agreed. Wow. Well, now you can. Bro, that is almost like you guys put it there and that tree also has no roots is that a real tree yeah were you were you on the universal lot the thing looks fake as shit where's the roots yeah this looks like war of the worlds like

it may be one of those uh things to get cell service maybe it could have been a cellular one of those ATN trees. God, it didn't look like that. ATN tree. Can't believe you guys laughed at that. It doesn't look like it fucked your car up too much. Yeah, I Yeah, it really doesn't.

Your car looks fine. I was hopeful too, but my girlfriend actually, she saw this at 4 in the morning. And I woke up to pictures of it. And when I got there at 11, the tree was gone. There's a pretty big dent. Like, they have to replace the door and the hood. It's just one big dent.

Well, at least you got a cool Camaro and a nice Valentine's Day out of it. Yeah, man. You still made it work. A lot of men would have been like, oh, shit, car's down. Valentine's is down. I just went Jocko with it. Good. Yep.

Good. What else we got? Discipline equals freedom, dude. That's right. Jocko sent me so much protein powder. Maybe that's what it is. That's your ass, dude. Because I'm sure Jocko has an ass.

Bro, I've never looked at his ass. Oh, dude dude there's two bald eagles back there bro he's fucking swole oh betty when he takes his pants on like 11 falcons just fly out of your butt and yell freedom dude he told me he once tried to teach a uh american eagle to shoot a gun how crazy is that makes sense though yeah it does obviously brendan and i need help dude i'm just looking for some better help yeah ice cream and what i'm telling you is ice cream doesn't solve everything because i'm winning the hard way dude i was down the other day man that hat doesn't solve anything nothing dude oh my god i feel like that hat matches with one of my gram with one of

my grandmother's dish patterns. That's what I feel like. But what we're here to tell you about right now is that sometimes you need help, and you can't just get it from a buddy or from a cousin or a step-cousin. And that's what I'm talking about is BetterHelp. Yeah, sometimes your stepmom doesn't have all the answers, dude. Nope, she sure doesn't. Find out the hard way.

Yep. And buy this hat they recommended. BetterHelp, man. Better help is an online learning basically it's an online learning mental health place basically a therapist where you don't have to go into the office yep facetime whenever you want dude i was losing my mind one day up over there off of the interstate and i saw pulled over got onto my better help account boom boom boom next thing you know I'm FaceTiming with my therapist with the counselor and it helped out huh right there yeah settled down got it together

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That's K-A-T-S for you guys. BetterHelp.com slash K-A-T-S. There's a special offer for you King of Sting listeners as well. You get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash K-A-T-S. There's a special offer for you King of Sting listeners as well. You get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash K-A-T-S. Get that help, baby. Get that help. Get your mind right. What I'm here to tell you about, guys, say you have a bunch of stuff in your apartment.

You can't get rid of it, right? There's no way you can't get it downstairs to the trash or whatever. Mail it to someone. And whether you're just mailing junk to someone or whether you're selling quality goods online getting your orders out should only be done one way and that is ship station it's a good way to keep track of who gets what and which shipping carrier you should use so i was trying to ship something man it was i mean it was so tough. Oh, no worries, man. I was just saying, you can use all the shipping carriers. USPS.

Oh, my. Thank the Lord. No matter what I'm selling. Amazon, my own, whatever I'm selling. My website, ShipStation brings you all your orders into one interface. This is nuts, dude. Yeah, dude. You think they can ship you a new wig?

Yeah. This ain't a wig. Bullshit. Bullshit, dude. this ain't a wig and you're good summer camp call hey can they ship some new hair plugs bro sleep away camp called and you're been missing apparently okay it's a nice big father-daughter dance, and they want you back. Hey, does Wigs R Us deliver? They sure do. They get more of the lesbian outback?

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Just visit ShipStation.com. Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in cats. That's ShipStation.com. Then enter the operating code K-A-T-S. ShipStation.com. Make ship happen. Ice cream. We're like a Korean pop band, dude.

We got a question right here. What is this, Newt? Yeah, so today, that was a long intro, but we got some King of the Sting, some Debate Club, Clown My Hound, if we get to it, and our new segment up in people's Tinder profiles, which I thought we could decide the name of the segment on air. We had a lot of submissions. There was like one resounding favorite, but I don't know if you guys had any suggestions for it. What was the... Cinder, my Tinder, was

overwhelming favorite. It makes sense. We torch their profiles, build them from the ground up. There was also Style, my profile. Singe, my hinge. I also saw Shiver Me Tinder. I like that one.

Shiver Me Tinder. Done. I think that one. That's a good one. Shiver me tender. Done. I think that's it. That's fun. So, yeah, I think, and I don't know if we can help him, but we can definitely say, look, don't do this. You know, I think, fuck, what do I know, dude? I think we can help him. I think we can help him.

Yeah, that's what I mean. I was going to save it. I was going to save it until the end, but since that was such a long intro, let's get right to it. First, we got Suck. S suck suck he's 22 years old oh well we gotta change your name bro your name change suck huh oh damn this is the kid from uh he's the bad guy in venom he's also in that the hbo series i think he looks like that movement trainer edo ed Portal. Dude, I think Suck's doing a nice job here. Yeah, I don't think he sucks at all. Yeah, he's climbing the wall.

There's a wall climbing. There is him with sunglasses on looking cool. It looks like he has a coconut water or has recently had one. There's another one where he has toplessness and he has wet body. His body looks wet. He's looks wet. He's very wet. Apparently works out.

And there's one with him in, who's that guy, Carson Daly? Jay Larson. Yeah, it's hard to tell. Apparently at some sort of Casa Bonita, Mexican restaurant. He looks like a very friendly dude. And he's Mexican? He's Indian. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry i meant indian i was staring at the the mexican guy when i said that sucker is an indian name no that's just suck dude no it isn't

you think it's sucker you think the heart doesn't have a sound well you have to say it fast sucker sucker sucker sucker sucker dude I'm telling you, he looks like the bad guy at Venom. And then his written profile says, carefully written, fact-checked essay

in the streets, unmoderated comment section in the streets in a Canadian place. In the sheets. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. That's cliche.

Too creepy, too cliche, too rhymey. The girls are like, oh, what the fuck? I like it. I know. That makes sense.

You think it's too rhyme-y? It's too much. It's too much. It's like he's pitching us ideas for another segment idea. We got to rhyme everything. Dude, we're not even gay men, dude. Kat, what do you think? How are we knowing?

I mean, I know, dude. Photos are good. I think the bio could use a little work. What do you think about the... Be more human in the bio, man. Be more regular. The shirtless gym selfie, that seems like just go to the beach, get a natural picture with your shirt on.

This is creepy. No one likes the guy who gets done working out and takes a selfie in the mirror. And he has water on his body. Yeah, the boy's watered up. Probably just got out of the steam room. Yeah, and that's not a real workout if you've just been in the steam room. You've just been steaming. And wait, what's it say?

My anthem? The fuck's his anthem? Does it play a song now? Yeah, you can connect it to your Spotify. Oh, wow. Can we hear his anthem? He didn't include it in the picture. But look, he's climbing the wall right there.

Obviously, he's a Democrat. I would say get some pictures with some puppies, some dogs. Chicks dig dogs, dude. More outdoor activities. He's got the outdoor one right there. That's indoor. That's rock climbing. Yeah, it's indoor.

You're right. But it's outdoors, indoors. I feel you. It's outdoors, indoors. You knew where I was going. Yeah. It's like when you see a. It's indoors. You're right. But it's outdoors indoors. I feel you. It's outdoors indoors. You knew where I was going. Yeah. It's like when you see a lot of plants indoors. His profile needs more real shit, like carefully written, fact-checked essay in the streets,

unmoderated comment section in the sheets. He looks like he could be up to some danger, too. He looks like he could be someone who does danger from another country as well. Yeah, I get that vibe as well. He also looks like you'd be in Don't Fuck With Cats Part 2. someone who does danger from another country as well. Yeah, I get that vibe as well. He also looks like you'd be in Don't Fuck With Cats Part 2. But... You mean like parkour? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like parkour, dude.

Yeah, like parkour. He definitely seems like he could be... He's a good-looking dude. He shouldn't have too much problem. 22? It seemed like he would be like the bad guy In like a lot of Trump campaign videos That's all I'm saying

That's fair But no look man I don't know I'm not trying to meet women out here You know I don't have any idea And I'm not a woman I don't know

I think I do man You gotta make your thing more friendly More relatable That weird shit you got written in your bio ain't going to work, homeboy. Get rid of the picture of you in the gym right when you get done working out. No one likes that guy. He just seems a little too calculated with everything.

Doesn't seem approachable. Ease up, dude. Ease up, dude. Yeah, maybe have one of you dancing with someone. Maybe have one of you building something, making like a, you know, doing model cars or doing like a. Clock. Yeah, building something outdoors. Fair enough.

I think that's a good start. And I think to kind of improve this segment, we could have people include all their pictures and send in a video saying like what their experience has been on Tinder, what they're looking for. Yeah, how's it been going? Yeah yeah because you're 22 i mean i don't think this kid's struggling to get any titties in his mouth you know i don't know i'm trying to figure out i don't use data i don't know i'm not sure i mean i'm not attracted to the guy and And that's okay. I shouldn't be. Yeah, this isn't chender. We're not trying to match you up with suka here. Okay.

It's sucka. Sucka. Like, I'm going to get you, sucka. What a great name. Let's get to some Kangaroo Sing. I don't know if we helped sucka or not. You didn't. Thank God. I didn't.

I don't know what to say. But look, you're making a smart move, Chappelle. I agree with you. This man's being wild, and here comes a guy. It's time for King it or Sting it. What's up, guys? This is Tom Duran, lacrosse Wisconsin, here at the Ontario Brake Game. Sting it or kick it.

Minor League Hockey. Thanks, guys. Gang, gang. Fuck, fuck. Bro. Bro. Minor League Hockey? Fucking sting it, bro.

It's tough enough to get me if Wayne Gretzky's playing up the fucking street. Let alone nine dumbasses I have no clue and the team's called like the Long Island Dragon This is the Ontario rain If the New York Rangers played up the street, I'm probably not gonna go If the fucking New York Rangers played up the street, I'm probably not going to go, dude. Dude, yeah. Let alone the fucking Cleveland.

You don't want to go see some real solid. The Cleveland Pythons. Larry Ullman. The solid players in these under league teams, man. You got to get out there, bro. Chester Pine. You don't know a lot of these Division III hockey players. Chester Pine.

Fucking out. Everybody's playing like fucking Happy Gilmore. I'll get out. Everybody's playing like fucking Happy Gilmore. I'm out, dude. Just slap shot it. You can't skate. Frozen Ronnie Harper. You don't know a lot of these legit players they have out there, dude. They even have Mexican players, bro.

Okay. That skin's on ice. Shoot the six pointer. Yeah. I saw that. It's called Disney on ice yeah shoot the six pointer yeah i saw that it's called disney on ice mickey fell was like yeah yeah yeah hey actor shoot the six pointer oh yeah dude you gotta get out and about more they have unique names bro come on brother tacoma Laundry they got great names bro the Goli Ramirez bro they have all kind of cool names bro the Roanoke Skittles they got fun names dude

they even have an all gay women's team Ohio Little Debbie's just thick just a real thick team on the ice Wild Little Debbies? Yeah. Just thick. Just a real thick team on the ice. Oh, man. Put me in the war.

My head hurts from laughing. What was that guy's problem? He's a stinging Ewok. Oh, God. King or Sting at number two. That brings us third down. Hey, guys. Chris from Long Beach. King it or sting it.

Seeing an XFL game live. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Well, just the loudest that whole stadium ever was that entire day. Again, dude. Dude, Chris did a great video. That's a great, clean video, and the audio's fantastic. Dude, it's tough enough to get me to watch the fucking L.A. Rams up the street. I ain't going to the L.A. Shuffle or where the fuck they are, man.

I'm not doing it. I'd rather see prisons play each other, dude, honestly. Like the longest yard. Yeah. I'd rather see the— I'd be into that. Yeah. You ever gone to the—when the cops and the firefighters fight each other?

Uh-uh. Oh, dude, that's for blood. Really? Yeah, and you get a black cop and a white firefighter. Bombs over Baghdad. It's crazy. Dude, that shit is wild, bro. What are they fighting for?

Freedom. I don't know. It's fucking lit, though, dude. Wait, this is real? Yeah, yeah. Cops versus firefighters is a real competition. And New York, it's fucking lit but this is real yeah yeah cops versus firefighters a real like competition and winter gets in new york it's like serious shit yeah there's always like one real bruiser on each team it's great dude well what about my we didn't get cultural what do

y'all think about the minor league hockey i have no idea what that is. Asians don't identify with that. Really? Nope. Oh, there are no Asian hockey players, are there? Never. Never. Oh, no. There was a guy named Korea. What? His name was Korea. Oh, that makes sense.

Snow Asians. Are there? Yeah. Koreans are snow Asians. It snows in Japan. They get on the ice and do tricks and shit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Yamaguchi. Yep, Chris Yamaguchi. Yeah, he played for the Anaheim Ducks, I think. Really? Korea. New generation of

Asian-American hockey players. But it was Korea with like K-Y-I-A-R-A or some shit like that. He was a phenomenal player. Wow. And what was it? The XFL? I think I've Seeing it live. Nick went.

I did. I did. How was it? Would you go back, Nick? I think I'd go back if I got free tickets, but it was like for the energy in the stadium for the first game, L.A., it was actually impressive. Like you said, it was really loud in there,

and I just got a kick out of the people. There were people decked out in la wildcats gear and they were just like decided day one this is their team just people their xfl fans just looking for something to cheer for but the football was really really so bad i'd watch like a half on tv that the fundamentals the execution the score was like six to nine. It's awful. What's bad about it? Like, is there just not – I mean, just drop – It's all NFL rejects. Drop balls.

I mean, middle of the second quarter in that video, 0-0. I mean, they just can't score and stuff. I don't know. It was kind of rough. They have some fun stuff. Like, you can do – for extra point, you can pick one, two, or three points from the two, five, or ten, which, like, at the end of the games gets really interesting.

That's amazing. They were really fucking up the score and stuff. Could have ended it with a three. I don't know. Some strategy that possibly the NFL could adopt. They got cheerleaders? Yeah, there were cheerleaders out there. Okay.

All right. I respect it. Do not want. Really? Yeah. There's cheerleaders out there as well. Is there male cheerleaders? Because the LA Rams have two male cheerleaders.

Have you seen them, Chappelle? Them are dancers, bro. They're cheerleaders. Oh, how dare you, male cheerleaders? Because the LA Rams have two male cheerleaders. Have you seen them, Chappelle? Them are dancers, bro. They're cheerleaders. Oh, how dare you, dude. They ain't doing what I do. NFL is dancers. Not only are they doing what you do,

but they're doing it at the highest level, bro. Wow. Are they world champs? They're world champs. They're not world champs. I promise. I saw them on 9 News.

Who is? I think they might be brothers. They're world champs? They're two black guys. Type in LA Rams male cheerleaders. They're the first ones ever. Like, are they dancing or are they cheerleading? Name something, dude.

They'll do it all. George Bush was the first to dance. There they are right there. That's them right there, bro. Oh, and they're twins too? They're brothers? The middle guy is definitely not in the way. The dance your dick off.

That's what they do. The tap dance on your dick. The middle guy. What about him? Huh? What about him? He will meet you wherever you want to meet him. He looks like Michael Yo.

He does look like Michael Yo, dude. Oh, shit, he does. He looks like Michael Yo wears your dick ass. Sorry, I'm joking, man. He seemed like a nice guy, dude, and there he is with his buddy. It's L.A. Of course you can have gay man cheerleaders. It's L.A.

You can have everything. Well, no, it's just America, dude. Yeah, but L.A. is always at the forefront. We've got to have a gay male cheerleader. We've got to have somebody who, you know, we have the first illiterate cheerleader you know coach or whatever you know we got somebody with no eyes and no ears in the city council we got somebody who moonlights has a bowling ball you know what i'm saying you got all kind of people we have somebody who's born without a digestive tract and that are the governor yeah

they're dancers that's not what i did no they can do it all. I'm telling you, their background is like real cheerleading. I think they cheered at like fucking North Carolina or something. I made that up. He was struggling right there. Bro, I think I said North Carolina. Them boys ain't going to North Carolina. That was the joke. Come on now.

You need to go back to summer camp, it's summer i'm always in summer camp oh my god fuck man oh what else we got man i'm sorry what are we doing now do we need to hook somebody up on a tip do i need to hook this guy up on a tinder date dude you look like a fucking cheerleader for ben and jerry's last king or give me an ice cream and that's all you say give me a snooker give me that ice. It's his only move. Give me an ice cream. You just keep getting ice creams. Give me an ice cream. Give me another one.

Fuck, man. Why am I laughing so hard today? Here's our boy Matt West from PBR, Professional Bull Rider. I've got that. What's up, guys? Matt West, voice of the PBR. Professional bull riders are here. I know I recognize them from somewhere. AT&T Stadium, home of the Dallas Cowboys.

The question is, can you understand it? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Can you understand what? Your tight fucking shirt? That's our boy, Matt West. He's Western. Dude, Western dudes do not have a lot of extra fabric on them. All right, Dallas Bice Club, here's the thing.

Dallas Riders, though. Oh, man. Give me an ice. Give me a bowl. Oh, what's his question now? The PBR was at Dallas AT&T Stadium for the Global Cup. He said, King or Sting it, pro bowl riding. God, well, we know what you two jocks are going to say.

Oh, it's fantastic. We win. Bring the video up. Look, dude, just because I'm built like a minotaur from the waist down. Just get people trying to tie your nuts and ride you at the rodeo, dude. I fucks with it. It's cool. Again, I wouldn't go. Why wouldn't you go, bro?

I don't care to watch men ride bulls. I don't give a fuck. I don't want to watch that. I don't want to watch that fucking shitty minor league hockey game. I don't want to watch the weird football game. I just want to chill, man.

You guys keep trying to get me to do shit. I don't want to watch this guy ride a sheep all goddamn afternoon. But I'll sell you ice cream at a parade. No, but who's that NBA announcer That smokes a lot of weed The older guy Bill Walton Yeah Oh but Bill Walton

Wants you to dress up Like his little twink And you'll do that in a heartbeat 100% dude I see what's going on The Grateful Brad bro Yeah The Grateful Brad

I heard it's cinnamon raisin too I gotta say I think you would love PBR Yeah I heard it's cinnamon raisin, too. I got to say, I think you would love PBR. We should take a group trip when they come back to Anaheim. God damn it. Quit trying to get me to go to this fucking PBR, man. I don't want to go. God damn it.

Oh, come on. Here's the other thing. Are there any chicks at that fucking thing? No way, dude. Oh, yeah. If you go to a country concert or PBR, they all have boyfriends, but there's a lot of them. That's why I'm saying they're all with these rough cowboys. We're in shape like fucking Tim McGraw over here, dude. Dude, when you see the crowd, everybody's just sitting like this.

Huge hat. Shirt with the collar up to here. You can't even fucking see them. It's just the same person everywhere. Men and women. I wish the terrorists was trying to fucking pull the gun out there. Get lit up like Yosemite Salmon,

that motherfucker. Oh, dude. Terry, too. Yeah, there's no joke, bro. Even if you just let a dove loose in there, somebody will gun it down. Shoot, man. Especially if that dove ain't white, the thing gets shot down. Yeah.

If you got a gray dove. That dove's a little fucking. It's a wrap. A little dirty. Game, set, match. Let's go to the culture corner. What do you guys think? Bull riding.

What's going on with it? What's bull riding in the black community? Is it popular, Chappelle? No. Come on now. Well. There's some black bull riders, though. There are some black bull riders, but I don't think it's popular.

You know what I mean? There are some black hockey players. Yeah, there's some black hockey players. There's some black XFL players. There's some black cheerleaders. Yeah. We got them all, but I don't think it's popular. It's not what you do.

When you were growing up, do you remember there being some bull riding brothers kind of out there no i was like the odd man out because i was like skateboarding and playing guitar and stuff like that so everyone was like what the fuck is this dude yeah across the board so like i don't know just stuff outside of the black community stuff like that it's probably not like all right let's all do it cat would you go? I would go Vietnamese people don't ride bulls we do ride

water buffaloes so similar see now we talking not similar water buffalo dangerous as fuck so you ride it in the sense of like that?

not like that but oh you ride them through the water yeah through the water okay water buffalo super dangerous

it's like a taxi? So you guys use it as a mode of transportation. Yeah, sometimes. But you're not hitting it and it's nuts. Let's see if you can hang on for eight seconds. You guys are riding that thing for eight hours. Here's some Laotians right here riding the WB. What'd you say?

What'd he say? Laotians riding the WB. That's what it is. It's Laos, isn't it? Yeah. And this one is stalled out. This one must have a flat tire. Look at the horns on that thing.

They're dangerous, bro. But, Chappelle, don't you... I feel like they would have some great black bull riders, though. I think there's one really good one, right? I don't know. I think he's good one right i don't know i i mean i think he's i think he's right i just don't know anything i don't know anything about bull right but i would go watch i'm not like on this guy's team i'd watch it i think it'd be dope to see yeah i mean i'm not it's not that i don't like i just want to go watch it for an afternoon you think that you could ride longer than i could on a bull

yeah probably dude i mean your ass is going to help you out what do you mean my ass is gonna have to sit way up on the front of the bowl what's the place by the comedy store let's do this oh yeah what is it called what is that the ranch what's it called uh saddle ranch not sad or saddle ranch that mechanical bull saddle wrench? Not saddle wrench. Saddle wrench. That mechanical bull. Yeah, that mechanical bull. People keep breaking their necks

and shit on that thing. Big fat drunk bitches get on there and like fling them. Dude, that thing has caused many a miscarriage, bro. I think miscarriage is the bull's name. That's too much, dude. Too soon.

Too soon. Too soon. Wow. I can't believe it's a method of travel. Too soon. Too soon. Too soon. Wow. What's this? I can't believe it's a method of travel. I guess that's true. I guess I have seen, like, especially photos where there's people on water buffaloes. Mm-hmm.

But, dude, that water buffalo has sharp horns. Do you see the horns on that thing? Water buffaloes are super dangerous. Do you talk to Cam Haynes? He says the most dangerous animal that they, like, can fuck with when they run to Africa is a fucking water buffalo. Really? Ooh, it smells like dead water buffalo.

Yeah. Hippos kill more people than any land mammal. I knew that. Because you're a hippo. Yep. You a hippo? Ruffles the hippo. Ruffles the hippo. What else you got, Nick? We haven't done this one for a while. We got some Clow My Hound.

Damn. Get your nuts out of my face. Look at the bag on that beagle This thing's got nuts Look at Chin smiling at him Chin was super happy Chin thinking of all the possibilities Pulling his dog out a handicapped- I know what happened! Ohhhh.

His legs are like a kangaroo. No, it's his nuts, bro! Good boy, Simba. Oh, he's- That was Simba, sent in by Jess. God, why you do this to us, man? Play it for me one more time, Nick. I didn't realize he had a- I thought it was his nuts. Oh, he's like a bat.

He's a dog. From the top up. He could be bad at the bottom. He's a bat. Bottom's a bat. He's a bat. Why'd you guys do this to us? Do what? This is fun.

They don't blame it on them because you can't handle yourself don't blame it on them because things are too busy at the smoothie shack wherever you work dude dude all about grass You look like a fucking You look like the only human In Mario Kart bro That's what you're dressed as right now Oh my god Is anyone else uncomfortable With fucking

The animal has fused legs man Cat let's go to you In the Asian community And I'm sorry, this dog's name is Arya Not Simba, Arya Simba Arya Beautiful animal

And I think it looks like it's a pit bull Yeah It's a pit bull with a sack on him And some bat wings on the bottom Well, here's the thing It was startling in the beginning Because I thought it was all nuts down there. I thought it was...

I didn't know that it had legs that it fused up. And I guess it could have been from what? Being on something hot or something? How does this even happen? Was he born like this? I think he was born that way. Or maybe like a car ran over his backside. But it doesn't look like he's mangled.

Looks like he's managing pretty well with it too. Well... You can also create some sort of scooter device you know when they put the tires on the bottom yeah put a wheel on that angle yeah no throw some fucking 22s on that bitch spitters on this hound bro come on man yeah they did that to a pig. They did? They put wheels on it. A little piggy running around. No, they do it to dogs all the time, man. They do? Yeah, they put their... And be honest with me. In the Vietnamese community, does this thing live or die?

I'm serious, man. The Vietnamese community here or the Vietnamese community in Vietnam? In Vietnam. Die for 3,000 hours? It probably dies. That thing don't make it out of the fucking vet, bro. You don't think? Vietnam.

I don't know if vets are a thing out of Vietnam, actually. Yeah, dude. The vet is a restaurant. Okay? I don't know about that one. Not in a bad way, but... Dude, we've all had... If you've ever been to Vietnam, you've had a little bit of hound, brother.

And that's for damn sure, dude. You see all those dogs with all the wheels on it, though? Huh? These fucking older help them out, bro. Them dogs got those off-road wheels on them. They got the four-by-fours. Yeah, some of these dogs have very. One of them looks like a damn 10-speed.

Look at that one. Yeah, one of them had like a mountain bike structure on them. Yeah, one of them was built for speed. Look at one of them was a little rickshaw right there. Look at a little rickshaw. The other one was for drag racing. Yeah, that one's built for downhill. Look at that one. It has inline skates on the back.

Isn't that dope? Hey, at some point. Look at this one. It has four legs. He's just lazy. That's crazy. At some point, you just got to put these things down though am i right it's like you're not right dude oh that's a kangaroo bro i'll i'll take that i want a two-armed chihuahua

that's it's that's brave as hell look at this one jumping over that fucking stick dude you're telling me this isn't funner than a normal fucking dog with four legs? That's true. Dude, let's get one for the studio. I want that two-leg fucking roller coaster. Hey, see if we can buy that pit bull bat thing. I want that fucking half pup, half Postmates, bro. That's what I want.

If this thing can't fetch you a bag of chips, dude, then I don't know what could. I want that half Rottweiler, half Huffy, bro a bag of chips, dude, then I don't know what could. My God. I want that half Rottweiler, half Huffy, bro. Get them here, dude. Get them here. Wow, man. Wow. Your Datsun's got a flat.

This is amazing. A lot of dogs out there living the high life with these back wheels. I celebrate. Did you see a lot of animals like this in your community growing up? I grew up in Arizona. Okay. It's hard for dogs to walk up. The culture corner is really in a snack.

You guys need to give us some damn culture. You can't even walk dogs out there during the summer, right? No. Oh, now that's true. It's like 130 degrees. They have these little rubber socks. Oh socks oh yeah put shoes on them a little like it's rubber so yeah so they can't like really bro i guess like 120 in the summer the news has like warnings what do you think dogs were doing before we had them inside living outside dead no

now people putting fucking tires on them and shit dude dude. You have to kill those hounds. It's the asphalt. I mean, if it's a coyote, it's living out in the mountains and shit. Yeah. That fucking black tar asphalt? Yeah. Put some Converse on your dog, dude. Put some cons on that little hound, bro.

Con my hound. Con my hound. What else you got, Nick? What else you got, Nick? Jesus. We'll close it out with some debate club. Wait, did we answer a question? What were we got, Nick? What else you got, Nick? Jesus. We'll close it out with some debate club. Did we answer a question? What were we supposed to do?

Do they want to know if they want to put the dog down or not? Is that the question? Oh, my God. I don't know what the show is anymore. You guys found it pretty well. I think mission accomplished. Just trying to help. And look, I'm just saying in some cultures, man, a dog is a food.

That's fact. Meat is a meat. That's fact. If a person dies, I feel like in some cultures, man, a dog is a food. That's fact. Meat is a meat. That's fact. If a person dies, I feel like in some cultures, they'll eat you. Facts. You know? You got to have what you can have. No, dude.

You don't need to defend your... Dude, if I'm dying, bro... I'm eating your ass first. Oh, shit. Wow, that's aggressive. So fast. Bro, that was... Bro, I felt that in my ass.

I've talked about this with your ass before. Your ass had a conversation. That's how alive I still am. I could feel it when you said that. Don't say it like that again. Sorry, man. That's a lot. Yeah.

Feed the whole goddamn troop here. We eating. Like, yeah, you boys put on weight i want ice cream ice cream ass jerking all right what do you got nick all right we'll close out we're going to hell i think yeah everybody going to hell hey guys this is ashley New Jersey. In honor of President's Day weekend, I have debate club for you. Who is a better president? Honest Abe Lincoln or I cannot tell a lie George Washington? Gang gang buzz buzz. You know what I'm going to say.

I'm just happy to be here right now. I appreciate y'all having me on. I hope y'all choose the right answers. Ready, set, go. Y'all gotta go with honest hate now, you know? That's hilarious, dude. i'm gonna say um who was a better president did you say that boy honest abe man you know what's weird about honest abe is there's no record of his voice but we all think it's seven scores and seven you know super low yeah they

have no idea what it is some Some people think it was really high. Really? Some movies made it really low. Four scores and seven years ago. You talk like this, y'all. Yeah. Oh, hey, y'all. You know I don't get down with that favorite, man.

Y'all like how little bit of lift? Y'all like my hat? Y'all like my hat, my big-ass beard, y'all? I think Abe, I don't know, man. Abe, well, here's the thing about George, dude. He had to be the first president. You had to wear a wig. And wooden teeth.

And also super racist. But was he racist, you think? Oh, yeah. Was he? It's just what they did back then. Yeah. You know, it's just, I don't know, dude. Do you think you would have owned a slave back then or not?

Oh, jeez. Oh, man. What are you doing? Why are you pausing? You know. What? Why are you pausing? I don't know how to answer that.

My family never owned a slave. I'm just staring at you. We didn't even have a toaster growing up. Yeah. It's crazy back then. Shit was ruthless back then. I'm going Abe, man. I gotta go Abe.

I'm going Abe. Abe also, Vampire Killer. Was he really? Abe did it? You ever seen the movie? Mm-mm. Oof, phenomenal movie. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Killer?

I've never seen it. You never caught the rerun on FX? Nuh-uh. God, you guys just start fucking living, dude. Yeah. Oh. Could we go into fucking PBR and AFL games, where the hell it is, and start watching some TV, man? AFL.

Honest, Abe was a PBR fan. This was literally a guy in the crowd at the Pro Bowl riding. Amen, bro. Look at Abe right there, huh? What happened? Oh, shit. Taking in some B-rides right there baby he purposely dressed like abe lincoln or that's just his vibe i think that's him that's a yeah wow he's

got to be somewhere dude get your own they put his head back together get your own identity bro put his head back together he got uh look i'll say this man i've been to honest abe's home that he lived in in illinois they actually preserved their whole neighborhood, the neighborhood that he lived in. They preserved. So you can walk around his neighborhood and all the houses are from the 1800s. Wasn't he like 6'5 or 6'6 too? Tall and had that hat. He was the Kim and Mutombo back then.

Yeah. And he would keep his notes in his hat. He would keep notes and special documents in his hat. Abe was gangster. Yeah, it has to be Abe. And he had a lot of cats, and he would pet the cats all the time at home, they said. I don't like cats. They said it was a little suspect.

Yeah. Wait, he really had a lot of cats? Yeah. I did not know that. The more you know. What's it? God damn. So.

Definitely Abe. Based on the cats. Due to the cats. Oh, due to the cats. Due to the cats. Oh, due to the cats? All right. Look, Abe was a visionary, man. Abe. I think you got to go, Abe, I guess.

I think it just, Abe was a little more. I also like $5 bills more than one. Do you feel me? Gang, bro. Done. Right there, Abe. What do you guys say there in the booth, huh? Abraham Lincoln.

You got your pal here. You don't hear a lot about George Washington. You feel like George Washington's getting forgot about. You don't hear a lot about the old George Washington these days, do you? Uh-uh. Well, dude, somebody just spray-painted a bunch of graffiti on Plymouth Rock yesterday, they said. Damn, that's offensive. That's crazy. Your bunch of graffiti on Plymouth Rock yesterday, they said. Damn, that's offensive.

That's crazy. Your boy Abe, he's all been our face, man. Daniel Day-Lewis played him. Yeah, who was the last person that played George Washington? Maybe Frank Caliendo, maybe? Plymouth Rock vandalized. How's there not security around that bitch? I know, right? What are we doing inside job come on now

yeah you're right he said it could look like what they spray paint like a dick on or something i don't know dicks is always some go-to shit for people it is yeah they spray those dicks on stuff right am i off on that no you're right yeah that. Yeah, that's what I was... There's a man in Arizona right now that's like spray painting dicks on all the walls. Oh, there is? Yeah. Yeah, somebody's spray painting on it. To Rock. Well, The Rock is one of several monuments around the Plymouth waterfront.

And what did they... Oh, somebody wrote something on it. Pretty lackluster. What did they write on there? Oh, and they put some... Oh, somebody wrote something on it. Pretty lackluster. What did they write on there? Oh, and they put some... Oh, some blood? Yeah. Maybe they're just trying to add a little color to it, you know?

Yeah, put a damn wolf by it or something. They can't get something to guard the damn rock? Put a Rottweiler on wheels next to that fucking thing. Yeah, dude, tell me that, bro. Yeah, and look, if you have a dog that's still on four legs, bro, you got to tighten your game up. They have dogs out there on two legs, rolling on 11s. All-wheel drive, baby. Little skeet skeet.

What else we got, Nick? That's it. That wraps it up. Damn, dude. I was laughing so much. I don't even know what happened. Really? All I remember is some dog's big old nut.

That's it. And then him having bat wings and flying around the lawn. That's all I remember this episode. Well, Brendan, a lot of animals are starting to be cross-pollinated and stuff. You're right. It wouldn't be crazy to see a bad a bat dog you know down the future yeah it makes sense but we'll see man we'll see dog were you at you anywhere this weekend homeboy yeah oh i got some i'm going to the nashville i got some show a show march i think maybe the 17th or something.

I'm not sure. That'd be fun. Or April 17th at the Ryman in Nashville. Should be pretty cool. And those tickets are going on sale, I think, this week. And what else? That's it, man. I mean, I'm coming to some other places, but it's sold out.

I'll see you soon. Love it, man. I'm in Vancouver Friday one night only for JFL. And then'm into i'm in vancouver friday one night only for jfl and then next week i'm in tacoma and then march i do a theater run i'm in new orleans your hometown new orleans detroit toronto minneapolis i think that's it atlanta that's it now you go to europe holla damn and uh cat has a new way we can submit videos to the show. What's up, Kat? Before we go, from now on, we're going to be taking submissions through email and through social media. So if you post a new submission for a segment, go ahead and tag KingTheSting.

Put a hashtag for the segment. So hashtag debate club, hashtag chide my ride, hashtag shiver me Tinder. And we'll go ahead and look through them, and we're officially taking submissions through social media, because you guys have been asking for it. Keep it under a minute, try to do it landscape and not vertical, and yeah, send them in.

Instagram wall, Twitter post, whatever. Those will take priority over one sent in via email. Gang, man, and where can we see you at? Chappelle, are you performing anywhere coming up? UConn. Oh, that's tomorrow. one sent in via email gang man and where can we see you at chapelle are you performing anywhere coming up uh uconn oh that's tomorrow let's uh where am i reno i'm in reno are you something reno or tahoe some casino yeah i'm reaching out on some shows with me though yeah reno is wild man reno is a place uh it's yeah i wouldn't give i wouldn't accept blood in reno i'd give it but i

wouldn't accept it no it makes sense'd give it, but I wouldn't accept it. That kind of place. But it's coming back. It's bouncing back. I don't know if it ever left. You feel me? It did. I don't know if it ever got started. It used to be like the automobile capital of not the world, but

of like... Really? I don't know if that's true, actually. I'm fucking tired. Brendan trying to make his outfit look better at the last minute. Me? No, I was just fixing my hair, dude. Yeah, dude. The hair's fine.

Oh, yeah? You digging the hair? Yeah. The hair is good, dude. Thanks, bro. Your brother's going to appreciate this fucking gratefulness. Oh, he will. Love that shirt, man. He loves a grateful bit. This grateful gravy tea, baby. God, bro. Your brother's going to appreciate this fucking gratefulness. Oh, he will love that shirt, man. He loves a grateful day.

This grateful gravy tea, baby. God, it is handsome. Tits. Dude, you're looking lean, are you? Am I? I don't know. All right. All right, we got to get out of here.

All right, man. Later, guys. Thank you guys for joining us. Thanks, Kat. Thanks, Chappelle. Chappelle, Chin, Nick. Thank you. Until next time.

Gang. See you, guys.