The Golden Hour - Episode 6: Kelly Kapowski vs Topanga Lawrence

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

The guys dive into an all new set of submissions and talk forced hugs, Kelly Kapowski vs Topanga Lawrence, lunch lady drip, anal sex, cookie facials, fat dong spirit, freeze tag, white girl dreads, women proposing to men, male masseuses, circumcision stories and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

oh yeah it's the bee sting king and the rat king To the strap, baby, come get it. Beat me, stay. Right, right. Hey, man. Is that the way you want to start the show? My bad, man. Oh, fuck. This reminds me of the time, dude, when I was in fifth grade or fourth grade.

It could have been fourth. I did fourth grade two times, too, because. Your mom held you back no school was a lot harder when i was growing up than it is now now these kids you act like they can be whatever grade they want you know they pick it's kind of like the gender you can be whatever gender yeah it's like i'm in ninth grade today yeah oh i'm in fourth and i'm 20 yeah you can't deny them or those are lawsuits yeah i agree But this, they had this thing. If you got in a fight with somebody at school, you had to stand in the hallway.

And you had to put your arms on each other's shoulders like that. And you had to hug each other for the rest of the day in the hallway. So you had to like, it wasn't like a full hug, but it was like you had to put your hands on each other's shoulders and stand there in the hall. So when the other kids would go out between class, they would see you and this kid you fought like right there had this isn't a legit school yeah like your mom running no this is a legit school this is the real principal lawton mckee was the principal mckee would make the kids touch each other for the whole day yeah not touch each other that's uh that's creepy bro either way touching each other staring into each other's eyes for the entire day but then the thing was you became friends with the person that you were.

It's not a terrible idea. This is the kid that beat me up, you know, or I actually beat him up, I think. No, no, no, no. Don't do that. You got beat up. That's fine. I mean, I could have got beaten up or I could have. I don't remember what was going on.

But, yeah, we had to hug for the rest of the day, man. And now you guys were friends after that. Because you went through that journey together. Oh, yeah. That's why it worked for the rest of the day, man. And now you guys, you guys were friends. Cause you went through that journey together. Oh yeah. That's why it worked. Yeah. I was like, dang. Yeah. Cause you kind of had to face it.

Like it was like, man, now he knows, like you had to get to know each other. You're right there. You could only look away for so long. Same thing in detention. Like whenever we'd be in detention, even if you fought the other kid or he stole something of yours, you were going through that together. Both sucked. You had no one to talk to. Talk to you. So you'd look over like, damn, this sucks, bro. I'm like, you were going through that together. Both sucked. You had no one to talk to you.

So you'd look over like, damn, this sucks, bro. I'm like, God, it sucks. We need to be boys. Yeah, yeah. That was dope. That's what we're doing right now. Yeah, I feel like I'm having to hang out with the guy that beat me up. Yeah, I feel like I'm forced to be here.

Yeah, that's what I feel like. But then we're going through this together. Well, yeah, we are, I guess, dude. I don't want to admit it, but yes, I will admit that. We're going through this life together. Partners. Okay, calm down, dude. I don't want to admit it, but yes, I will admit that. We're going through this life together. Partners. Okay, calm down, bro. And don't laugh like that.

You laugh like somebody's just molesting a hyena. I feel like something's wrong with you. Molesting a hyena? Yeah. Good luck with that, bro. Let's kick off freaking Rip My Drip. Let's do this. Who's up first?

Let's see. Do you guys want to do each other? Should we throw some fans in? Let's do me and Theo first. Set the tone of the show. For sure. And then start kicking off on other people. Yeah, let's rip some drip, man.

Let's rip some hoes. And somebody said rip some crip. They sent in a gangbanger. Yeah. Okay. That's a little dicey. Yeah, I'm not doing it. I'm not trying to get shot.

Rip my crib? Nah. And then somebody sent in a crippled friend of theirs. See, that's where it gets confusing. Yeah. And it was like, I'm not, you know, that guy seemed like a nice guy. His wheelchair was busted, but whatever. First up, Theo Vaughn.

God damn, bro. was busted but whatever yeah first up theo vaughn god damn bro you know you're coming on the show and you wear a freaking curious george sweatshirt yeah and then you have this fresh wet gender haircut you're doing i don't know what's going on there your sweatshirt is a very stylish cut you look like a third grade substitute teacher yeah and third grade is a very popular grade yeah and you look like the guy who came out to la to make an acting and ran out of lunch money and sucks on his mom's titties for breast milk what that's what you look like that's not a real person that you're talking yeah it is it's you bro when you're dressed like that it's super suspect and this is a christmas gift you

freaking terrible gift neanderthal this is curious george you know damn well you didn't have that book growing up as a kid yes i did have this book dude this is curious george you know i know who it is famous animal too old to be no one else no one's else spidey sense goes off when you see a grown man in a curious george sweatshirt drinking pedia light with that haircut i'm not drinking that's a white van that's a pedialyte popsicle dude i'm off the bottle I'm not drinking it. That's a Popsicle. That's a Petey Light Popsicle, dude. I'm off the bottle. I'm not doing it anymore. Bro, you look like every character from the first 48 show. Oh, dude, that show is good, man.

I love that show. Chris D'Elia has one of the best jokes. He goes, it's a show about they have 48 hours to solve a crime, but really they have as much time as they want. It's so true. It's as much time as they want. The show's six months later, and they wrap the case. I'm like, what's that called fucking for six months?

Dude, and they're really just busting black people for doing stuff. Why don't they call the show what it is, you know? Well, that's cops. Yeah. You're thinking of cops, bro. I don't know. I think they changed it. The cops have been on air for 30 years because of that.

Too much, man. Yeah, dude. You just look a little strange. You look like you were styled by fucking Freddie Mercury's side piece. It is a nice sweatshirt, man. Yeah, dude. You just look a little strange. You look like you were styled by fucking Freddie Mercury's side piece. It is a nice sweatshirt, bro. It's not a nice sweatshirt. You're too old for the sweatshirt. It is a nice sweater.

It's a nice sweater, man. Dude, it's creepy at your age to be wearing that. And you got them busted shoes. You got that weird kiddie sweater on. You got peanut butter in your pocket. And then all of a sudden, your back starts to give out. Why would you have back problems? My back hurts.

From what? I used to do. Collecting rocks as a kid? L5S1. I was moving the televisions. Bro, you're wearing Christmas undies. Dude, have you ever had an L disc issue? Yeah, I have.

And it doesn't look like this. Just wander around like a creep with a bad disc. No, I go to the ground, dude. You look like a lunch lady who got kicked in the nuts. Bro, what? In the woman nuts, bro? In the maveries you talking about? Nah.

You don't know how to deal with pain, bro. Dude, my lunch lady made sloppy joes and had a pair of nuts. Yeah, bro. You are my lunch lady, dude. You look definitely like one of the most clean-cut lunch women I've ever met. Bro, you look like a lunch lady without a fucking sloppy Joe haircut. And I'll tell you this, my favorite lunch lady,

miss Annie and all rest of rest in peace. Does she have nuts? No, dude, she was about seven, 70, a hundred and a years old. And she lived across the street from us.

And her grandson actually killed her. Damn. She had a mustache. Well, she was old she just had at a certain point all the hair that's in your body is it goes out on your face i feel like lunch ladies age faster than anybody their hair comes out you have hair moles or nuts i don't know about that dude i know that she fucking could double scoop you so fast though brother i mean before you knew it you had extra oh and then and then mine would always slip me a straw with milk

and extra straw with milk i'd be like thanks bitch uh first of all milk has an i in it is the second letter uh it's not m-e-l-k so uh a strawberry milk is milk dude yeah bro milk you've been drinking milk your whole life i'm from denver dude. Where? Denver, Scotland. You've been drinking milk. Who makes your milk? Guinness. Dude, you know what? You're jealous because you're fucking shitty. Oh, you're listening to the Pogues and having some milk. Dude, your shitty lunch lady never hooked you up with strawberries.

She got murdered by her grandson who had a Rottweiler. Okay? Oh, wow. And his name was Brad and he never owned a shirt. Dude, you always make it dark, bro. I was just talking about fucking about fucking lunch ladies yeah and i was talking about having them rest in peace in their souls i hope that lord double scoops you some fucking green beans annie resting gravy baby kpwa i used to get uh detention you'd have kitchen patrol with annie and you'd have to stand there next to annie while she did the scooping dude and it was resting government

cheese baby nothing that made your neck sweat more. But that's how you became friends, and those were the good old days when you stayed next to your enemy with your hands on their shoulders, man. Yeah, you could do that. You know? So RIP, dude. Should we RIP Brendan? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay, here's Brendan right here. That's a point, bro. That's a point. Dallas Biles, what's up? Why is that thing still in here? You know how we roll. We'll wait for that segment. Go ahead and rip that swaggy, swaggy point, bro. That's a point. Dallas Biles. Why is that thing still in here? You know how we roll. We'll wait for that segment. Go ahead and rip that swaggy, swaggy drip, drip.

Oh, my God, dude. Bro, you look like, first of all, a Persian coal miner, okay? That's what you look like, dude, right? Do they have coal miners? Huh? No, but it's just a guy that stands outside of the fucking mine complaining about shit and stealing all the gold. So that's what

you look like right there um and what is that dude you look like uh you look like a strong you look like a gay hitman that's what you look like that's what you look like like yeah don't boss. I'm going to fucking suck the guy's dick till he die. Well, dude, hitmen suck dick now? A gay hitman. Do they shoot him then suck their dick? You got to figure this out, bro. Your logic is all over the place, bro.

My dude? Yeah, bro. Your logic dripped out of your ear in a freaking octagon, bro. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Your logic is hanging off the back of your neck. You the only guy who got c all c's in homeschool your mom gave you c's yeah well come on mama fucking c my mom was a tough teacher dude and she didn't let us uh and she didn't let she didn't give us study guides makes sense all right let's see some of these other but. But you look like a gay hitman.

That's hilarious. Here's the first one, fan submission from Ashley Peters. Ashley Peters, which is a... Oh, damn. Scroll in. What is she sipping? Is she sipping on something? She and I have the same nose.

I'll go with that. Start there. Can we start there? You have the same hair as well. Rip my drip. Rip my hairstyle. You and i have the same nose i'll go with that start there can we start there you have the same hair as well rip my drip rip my hairstyle you and her have the exact same out my snout bro look at that snout can you zoom in on that snout she gets the potato nose too it's not a potato you dude save some oxygen for everybody else in the room dude i'll put all you guys to sleep in a heartbeat i'll pull it all in and leave just a little bit of monoxide for you for a little light-headed bro yeah why don't in and leave just a little bit of monoxide for you freaking queens. A little lightheaded, bro.

Yeah, why don't you go fucking shoot a gay guy like your boss told you to, you creep? Dude, why don't you sell me some AIDS viruses? What? Dallas Buyers Club, bro. It's called DBC. Don't fucking pronounce it every time. Can we get an outlook? Can we look at her from the outside?

Dude, what is she sipping on? Also, it's the middle of the day. She seems like she's hammered. That's true. Hammered. Oh, I've seen that. She's off Intervention. Yep, I knew it.

I knew I had to spot her somewhere. She's off the show Intervention on A&E. Yeah, she does seem like. She's famous, bro. And she seemed like a very nice, you know, up, like a lady that kind of drinks during the day, but also probably holds up a job. Like, you don't have that. You know, she has on. Oh, you mean function alcoholic yeah function yeah yeah yeah she's like a functional alcoholic she has a uh ballet dress on she looks like the funnest aunt in the world yeah she definitely she looks like the aunt but actually in this picture can we zoom out a little

more there nick it looks like she has just cornered a underage person in a bedroom and wants to tell her about her new job. Yeah. She corners you in the corner and tell you about the movie she just saw. And she keeps talking and talking and talking until you bust all over. And then she goes to jail for taking advantage of youngsters. Oh, interesting. I've been involved with this type of lady.

Okay. And look at her legs are going. God put her legs on the wrong sockets. They did. The left foot's on the right. The right's on the left. She's doing the, yeah. Sometimes the Lord just bakes the hokey pokey right into you.

Yeah, she looks hydrated, though. I'll give her that. Oh, she definitely looks hydrated. She likes all to hydrate. Shout out to that aunt. The finest aunt in the world. She's like a beautiful woman. What's her name?

Tandra? Ashley Peters. Ashley Peters. All right. The next ant in the world. She's like a beautiful woman. What's her name? Tandra? Ashley Peters. Ashley Peters. All right. The next one from John Brantley. Rip his drip. Goddamn, John. Look at that powerful beard.

John looks like he's trying to fuck. Why? That's just the vibe he's giving off, bro. And what's his sweater say? You've messed with the wrong woman. Exactly. Tattoos on the hand. Clearly a felon.

Orange cap. He has a snitch cap going on. And then he has a powerful, powerful fucking man bag. Dude, this is a woman's marcher. First of all, I think. Oh, no. You know what? He's the mascot for the Me Too movement.

I've seen this guy this guy uh wow he does have that man pouch he has the um michael who's that killer from halloween michael just michael he didn't have a last name yeah he has the michael martin michael martin pants no there's no martin bro it's just michael from the michael yeah the guy has a last no he doesn't bro you think his name's michael something there's freddie bro. It's just Michael from the Michael. Yeah, the guy has a last name. No, he doesn't, bro. You think his name's Michael something? There's Freddy Krueger, but then it was just Michael, bro.

No, there isn't. It's Mike Myers. Oh, that's right. What did you call him? Michael Davids? No, dude. Yeah, you call him Mike Myers. Don't turn it on me. You didn't call him Mike Myers.

You called him Michael Martin. Yeah, Michael Martin, dude, who sounds like a killer. And it's Michael Myers, not just Michael. Dude, I call him Michael. But in my house, we call him just Mike. Scary Mike. What? That's insane, bro. It's me backfired.

No, yeah. Dude, just Scary Mike. That's a place where you get crafts at. Dude, it's just Scary Mike. I'll tell you about this Scary Mike, though. That shady fucking rusted outhouse behind him. There's definitely some dead bodies back there dude or broads tied down oh that's a straight up bone shack dude he's got

down ass up they're tied down bro and this guy reminded me of a fellow this dude i you know named wayne and everybody called him wild wayne people always call wayne's wild wayne and they're not well he's fucking wayne wayne wild? No, none of them are. But they call him Wild Wayne, and he, you know, raccoons have a bone at the base of their Johnson. Really? Yeah. And he would make necklaces out of them. His family had unlimited raccoons around their area.

Like a voodoo guy. Yeah, kind of voodoo jeweler, really. But anyway, this guy looks like somebody that would be doing that out there. He has that man pouch. He could have a little bitty saw in there where he's just... He looks like he works with his hands. He looks like he makes lamps out of human skin or some shit. Oh, it's hand ammonium once this dude fucking gets anywhere.

And he has those Michael Myers legs and boots. I love his hat. He has an orange hat for safety. He has that serial killer swag about him. He's put together well, but I don't want to touch him. He doesn't come into town much unless he needs maybe milk or something.

He's what we refer to as an outsider. What else we got? That's it for Rip My Drip. It's time for Debate Club. First one we got from Justin Gelke. Hey hey guys this is jason from austin texas and i have a debate club topic for you kelly kapowski or topanga come on bro kelly kapowski or fucking to pay kelly kapowski versus everybody she was the best

oh i jacked off relentlessly as a child really that's oh man and sometimes every now and then i'd throw an ac slater just to mix it up bro yeah oh bro i mean if i did have one vision one time where i came into the air and then he caught it in his dimples. Oh, Screech, though, for you, I assume. No, no, no. Yeah, no, you look like a Screech fan. No, I don't at all. Screech stabbed a woman.

You look like Screecher's older brother. I don't, dude. What was Screech's older brother's name? Theo. Dude, Topanga's hot as fuck, though, too. She was on the cover of Maxim like 10 years ago. She's doing the damn thing. If you like them a little thicker, that was her.

Topanga was for the thick kids. Topanga was cute. That was the thing. Kelly was hot. Topanga was cute. Cute doesn't age well. That's one thing I'm telling you. Well, check out this cuteness.

Boom. What's up, bro? Full set of tits. Topanga, dang. Topanga, dang, yeah. Wait, zoom. That ain't even her. That's her, bro. We'll of tits. Topanga, dang. Topanga, dang, yeah. Wait, Zoom, that ain't even her. That's her, bro. We'll Zoom in more because that's airbrushed. She drank all the milkshakes.

Get ready to get that fucking little boner out. Look how, what do they saw part of her head in? She looks. Dude, she is delicious. How tall is she? 6'2", I think. Can you look up how tall she is, please, Nick? 6'2", 6'4", I don't know.

She ain't 6'2", dude. Topanga, 5'3". How tall is she? 6'2", I think. Can you look up how tall she is, please, Nick? 6'2", 6'4". I don't know. She's 6'2", dude. Topanga, 5'3". How tall is Kelly Kapowski? 5'1". 5'1". Yeah. And a white girl. Yeah.

Cute doesn't age well, man. I'm saying this. What are you talking about? She's a straight-up dime piece. Bro, it looks like... Oh, look at Kelly Kapowski. High five. Looks like she ate all the food at the max.

Really? Look at her, bro. What are you talking about? Kelly Kapowski ate all the fries at the max. Bring up an end. Get out of the max. All the max fries. She had four kids, bro.

Dude, Topanga had seven. No. Yeah. Wow. Kelly looks like she definitely had a long, like 2005 was a long year. But Kelly looks, I look, dude, it's still Kelly all day. Topanga is. No, Kelly as a kid, Kelly when we were kids, no one hotter.

She was the best. No one hotter. And I was even mad at Lisa Turtle as a kid. But now it's Topanga. Dude, Topanga as an adult. Dude, she's wifey, son a kid. But now it's Topanga. Dude, Topanga as an adult? She's wifey, son. As an adult, it's Topanga. She's 40 years old.

She's 5'1". She seems chatty. She seems like a real bitch on the show, to be honest. She wouldn't even give that kid the time of day, and she was bossy. Dude, think about Kelly Kapowski fucking blue-balling our boy Zach Morris for years. Never sucked him off. Not even a hand job. A simple hand job in his room.

You can't do a ham job on that show, dude. Yeah, you can, dude. Screech got him all the time. Yeah, he gave him to himself. Lisa Turtle did it for him. Yeah. You missed that episode? No, I didn't.

Yeah, and Belding walked in and then jacked off on him. God. Should we see the results? Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be Kelly Capacity so much more. By a ham slide, bro. Oh, shit. It's going to be Kelly Capaldi. She's so much more. By a long time. Ham slide, bro. Oh, shit.

It's close, bro. See, my fellow Topanga fans out there, they know what's up. Topanga Lawrence? She's related to Joey Lawrence or not? I don't think so. I think they're both fictional names. Or hers is fictional. They're both.

Joey's real. Characters. Next one, please. All right. The next one for debate club topanga do put anybody else up there topanga kapowski next one from alex mundy all right so brandon theo it's alex from houston texas i got a good question for y'all to debate today. What's more of a big dick move?

Walk-off home run in the World Series to win or a three-point buzzer beater to win the finals? Let's hear it. This one's easy. As far as big dick move, it's when you take that fucking wooden bat and hit a home run off somebody. I think it's dumb playing baseball. All day.

Baseball's slow. Yeah, you're throwing a ball. Someone somebody i think it's dumb playing baseball baseball slow yeah you're throwing a ball someone has to hit it with a bat that's the dumbest fucking thing i've ever heard difficult sport it sounds like it's from like the 1400 which it is yeah yeah oh here i'm gonna throw this ball so you can hit it with that piece of wood bro here's the thing what are we talking about get a fucking ps4, you freaking freaks. Yeah, you could just play video games. You could. So much better, man. I'd rather hit a buzzer beater because your whole team is out there on the court.

If you're playing baseball, it's just you. Then you're running around the bags by yourself. You have to run past the other team. Like if you hit that buzzer beater, dude, you're that bad boy, and everybody's right there. That's true. You celebrate with your boys. Yeah. They dogpile on top of you're that bad boy, and everybody's right there. That's true. You celebrate with your boys. Yeah.

They dogpile on top of you. Yeah, the cheerleaders are right there. Baseball has zero cheerleaders. God, these are great points. You're just playing in front of a bunch of alcoholics, dude, and it's a lot of daytime drinkers out there even watching. That's the majority of them. Yeah.

And it's so slow. I'm going basketball now. I was saying baseball is more difficult. Theo made the best points. I'm going NBA. So you're over here? Debate club? I'm going NBA. So you're over here? Debate club? I'm with you. What's the fans say?

Let's go to the results. We got... Yeah, bro, you been drinking? 57% say World Series home run. It's all you. You're kind of shoving that down the pitcher's throat. You know what I'm saying? It's harder to do. Yeah, a good home run is a bigger dick energy. It's all you, and you're kind of shoving that down the pitcher's throat. You know what I'm saying? Big dick energy.

It's harder to do. Yeah, a good home run hitter is going to hit a home run about 6% of the time. A good three-point shooter is about 40%. Unless you're Steph Curry. Big dick energy is going to get you arrested, it sounds like. It seems like a term that I'm not going to be using because. But the thing is, you could go fat cock spirit. You look like a kid who played kickball growing up, though.

Yeah, I played kickball. And a lot of freeze tag by himself. Dude, no. So you just stayed in place because you had no friends. I never played freeze tag, bro. Until someone came along and went, what the hell are you doing? You're it! And then ran across.

Oh, that kid was always a freak. Yeah, he was. That's you. What else we got? The next one from our man, J-Rod. The Bay Club. Yeah! what else we got the next one uh from our man j-rod the big club yeah i've been eating tokitos for 13 weeks fuck man i'm shitting blood i know when the hiney's extra slimy tp by itself ain't gonna cut it so i need that extra clean but what's better baby wipes or if a day Pee by itself ain't gonna cut it. So I need that extra clean.

But what's better? Baby wipes or a bidet? Let the debate begin. Wow, dude. I want that guy to date my sister, dude. Dude, I want him to be my friend. Just live in my back seat. Give me motivational advice as I'm driving down the highway.

I like that, dude. You'll end up in a high-speed chase from the police if that guy was your Uber driver. If he's your friend, you got problems. What's his name? Dirty Benjamin? J-Rod. J-Rod, sorry. I didn't hear it correctly. Dirty Benjamin? Yeah, like you can hear that good. J-Rod, though. Yeah, shout out to J-Rod. J-Rod!

All his submissions are about going to the bathroom, though. Oh, yeah. He obviously has some sort of bowel problem. Oh, a dirty artist man dirty artist i like that he is a dirty artist dude so it's either baby wipes or bidet bidet is old school have you ever done a bidet my uncle had a bidet in his house i thought it was a water fountain next to the toilet and it gets messy really messy baby wipes all day bro, I wouldn't mind a bidet if the water is warm. It depends on if you're getting water fresh out of a stream into a bidet. I wouldn't take something naturally out of the earth right onto my butthole.

You don't want it, man. Well, the iron that could be in that, you get mercury in your bloodstream just trying to clean your ass. So I think if they had like a chart that showed the water table or something or where the water was coming from i'll take you know purified water on my ass you want it filtered i don't need filtered you fucking creep i just need something at least that has been you know inoculated a little bit i don't want that shit that's straight out of fucking you know out of the devil's bowel coming right at my ass dude dude a lot of the water has uhpocytes in it, all kind of shit. I don't know what that is, but you don't want to drink the L.A. tap water.

You're turning into a fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. You don't want that going up your asshole. That's why I say baby wipes. Yeah. Or I would just wipe my ass and then go home. That's what I usually do. Yeah, I usually just use the normal toilet paper and then fucking hit the road. Yeah.

But baby wipes are nice. Baby wipes are a plus. In the summer. I'll keep some in my car in the glove box. Because you got that swamp ass, yeah? Sometimes. I'll wipe my ass even if I haven't even gone to the bathroom. Me too.

It gets cheesy down there. My new thing is go pee in the toilet, then sit down and wipe my butt. Oh, that's weird. You think? Yeah, pretty weird, dude. But would you rather be that guy or the guy that doesn't do that? Debate club! I'm bleeding out of my hair!

That guy has problems, though. And he also, has anybody noticed, he looks like he just committed a crime. Dude, it looks like he just robbed all the banks and then does videos for us every week. He's on the run. Does anyone notice that?

Dude, if he robbed a bank, bro, that would help this podcast blow up so much because if he subliminally gave us clues through those videos, which is a good idea. Or every bank he robbed, he'd pass a note and put gang gang beast. That's what we need him to do.

Debate club. Am I about to rob this bitch or not? Blood, blood. Should I rob her? That hog. What else do we got? The results of bidet versus baby wipes. 76%. Go baby wipes. Yeah, bidets for an older generation, for

God's sakes. What else you got? Well, bidet is just, you know, it's messy, bro. Splash. It doesn't splash onto the floor. You had a hose, I know, it's... It's messy, bro. Splash. It doesn't splash onto the floor. Dude, you had a hose, I think, is what you had. You might be right. I had a garden hose come from the outside through the window,

and I thought that was a bidet as a kid. That's different. What else you got? The next one from Mason Moore. What's up, y'all? Driving right now. Mason Moore coming at you hot from Charlotte, North Carolina. I met him.

Said it twice, bro. Mason, a.k.a. Moore Dig, a.k.a. First Team All-Dime Piece. Well, I'd say second all-conference. Adidas or Nike? And I'm pretty sure Theo's Pay doesn't count on this one. I'm not sure he can spell Adidas. Adidas. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Gang buzz gang bro i love this dude adidas

there you go you know what adidas stands for huh you know what adidas stands for uh-uh all day i dream about soccer really that's the rumor who cares that'll help you spell it bro tell your mom that next time she's teaching you shit. Yeah, tell your mom something, you idiot. What I'm saying is this. Nike's or Adidas, what do you... You had Pumas on. All right. I got on these Pumas from Josh Wolfe that he gave me over to show.

Nice Pumas. He's always shoveling Pumas, isn't he? Dude, that guy... He sent me 17 pairs of Pumas. Yeah. Like, all right, Josh. Dude, outside of his house, on the power line, there's like 70 pairs of Puma's just wrapped around then he has a real life puma in his house like all right bro get out of here quick get fucking give me your puma um but so adidas right now is the hotness because

all the yeezys i'm over yeezys nike's been doing it way longer than everyone it's nike nike all day nikes fall apart though i think nikes don't last that long um maybe the ones in louisiana fall apart but in the rest of the world they stay pretty well together you think yeah man jordan's are nike son yeah first of all who's buying michael jordan shoes the guy's 64 years old now everybody's buying them yeah you have pumas that josh wulf gave you that's right dude you know free pumas from a friend that are keeping my feet warm you selfish piece of shit it's nike all day and i'm close adidas is his hype boy adidas is good and i'll tell you why adidas has matching track suits that you and your children can wear if you guys are extremely poor or italian okay i grew up outside of

louisiana and if a family really loved each other, they'd show up in a beautiful all-matching group of fucking track suits and eat oysters together. Really? Because where I'm from, if you all wore the same thing, you were assholes. Really? Yeah, that's strange. Whatever, bro.

It's just the difference in community. Oh, Doyle rules, bro. You better get your fucking life together, bro. Nike all day. Look at the fucking voting. Nike's easy. It's the cheap. It's the constant, bro. Yeah. Jordan's. Look at the fucking voting. Nike's easy. It's the cheap. It's the, it's the,

you know, it's the, it's the constant bro. Yeah. Jordan. It's basic. Kyrie Irving. It's the basic bitch element.

Air Force Ones are hot right now. They have the off white collection. I know it sounds like I'm speaking fucking Persian to you. Smokey Nick just got the, uh, premature. Nick just got the mochas. Jordan threes.

Not mad at those. You know, what's up, Nick? Hey, take a hike, bro. I would take a hike. hike and when i do i'll do it in adidas track suit yes what else we got all right it is time for flaunt my aunt all right beautiful lady submitted i want to say this too about flaunt mine we've had a lot of beautiful women submitted and our goal is to uplift these ladies

and make people feel hopeful and excited. Hit it. Here's the first one from submitted by Jack Case. God damn, that's the lead singer of the White Stripes, bro. His air quotes aunt. You mean uncle.

No, his shirt says Venus. This is a a female have some repertoire of decency dude that's someone's uncle from the 80s look at the fan in the back look at the is that pedialyte no that oh that's a mike miller high life no that's a mike's heart that's a 40 oh shit that's a 40 gang that's someone's uncle bro if three belts on a one's a supreme bell bro a fendi and a supreme that's triple belted clearly he's rich so they're locking that dude that's somebody's uncle that plays a mean fucking bass what are you talking about no it says women are from venus on the shirt it's that don't matter bro he might be part of the me

too movement that's an angry lady that didn't feel cared about by men when they were young and so now this is the way that they're behaving. That's a dude who does, he's a cover band for White Snake. White Snake, dude? Ever heard of them? Albinos, yeah.

They are an endangered species. And they also play music. What? You've never heard of White Snake? I've heard of White Snake. I've heard of White Snake. I've seen White Snake at the zoo. I've seen White Alligator. The band, motherfucker.

The band. You've seen a band of White Snakes, dude? There's a band called White Snake. Hit it, Nick. Educate this fool. Why don't you call your doctor, dude? God, your mom ripped out the fucking music section. My mom was in the Traveling Wilburys, dude, and she was a good woman, and she still is a pretty decent woman.

Dude, you're telling me that uncle doesn't look like one of these dudes? Whatever. Who was that? This is a lady. She looks nice. She has eyeglasses on. Look at those thin lips. Zoom in on those lips, Nikki. Is that a guitar around her back there? Is that another...

Is that some sort of satchel? Look at that. She's kind of sexy. Look at this eye. The eyebrow is a soft hand on the belt. Look at the soft skin. Is that an MTV button on her badge, too? It says Best Buy on it. Jesus Christ.

You don't know how MTV is spelled? Not with a B. She works at Best Buy. Drinking a 40. She's standing near a fucking fan. Is that a 40? She's down to be in a struggling environment where you don't have proper airflow. I like this bad bitch.

What's her name? No name. No name. Dave the Ripper. You can name her. Dave the Ripper. Beautiful young lady. Thank you very much.

Seems like a nice woman. Thanks for sending her. Or handsome young man. Either way, she's, and he is killing it. Yeah, why don't you fall asleep and watch a band of fucking white snakes play. I've never heard the band White Snakes. Number two sent in the submitter didn't put their name, but

this is Aunt Alexandra. Let's see her. She seems like a nice person. Aw, damn. In the snow? That's a little Frozen vibe going. In summer! Yes. You ever seen the movie, bro? What movie? The Bodyguards looks at whitney houston about to get shot outdoors wow see i don't get a whitney houston vibe at all here though really at

all no i get a mrs doubtfire vibe brunt you know what i'm saying yeah bro this is fire at me she's about to get shot at have you seen the bodyguard dude this is a very shoot me outdoors in the snow type of vibe i get more of the edge vibe here the edge what the rest of the movie the edge oh i haven't seen that with anthony hopkins i would get chased by the grizzly bear they're stuck outside yeah i would never watch something like that it seems like a how long is oh dude white girl with dreads she has dreads bro you missed the dreads theo yeah and i would dread focus bro she has dreads, Theo. Yeah, and I would dread. You're not focused, bro. She has dreads. I would dread sleeping in that lady's bed because she probably doesn't wash her bed sheets, dude.

She smells like olives. Nothing says, hey, we got to do laundry like dreadlocks. I agree. They stink. Yeah, dude, when you walk through a pet store and all the animals come to the edge of the cage because of jealousy out of your fucking dirt weaving work. When the hamsters want to eat your dreads you get a problem when you're running around with a fucking 14 inches of feed hanging off of your scout come on but still outside of that man she seems very

happy she's outdoors she's a nice smile all of her teeth she has eyes yes yep and she has the blue vibe going on blue jacket a nice skirt she looks like she knits scarves for gifts yes and she keeps her body warm she probably is warm has a warm body that's good she has a lot going for her yeah besides the dreads good luck yeah and give her a hug for us you seem like she's really up to some good stuff. Alright, the next one, also anonymously submitted. Nikki Wynn. Okay. Okay, she has a gun indoors. This is somebody's aunt. And she is... Somebody's aunt with that

pipe bomb, bro! Was she in a fire or something? It looked like she might have been in a fire. Dude, she can jump into my arms in the fire. Somebody's aunt is filthy. She has a gun and she has Vaseline all over her face. Yeah, bro. Dude.

Yeah. Okay, she was in a fire, I'm guessing? No, not a fire. She puts out fires with her mouth. Look at her, bro. Did she get too close to a kettle? I am looking at her. Dude, zoom in on her face.

What's wrong with her face? Very pretty. Hope she's doing well. She seemed like, yeah, like yeah maybe she okay she just lost a layer of skin maybe she's got a facial one of those like uh oh yeah when you first get a facial and your skin's irritated like drippy wet yeah she gets very sticky like a frog's hand yeah that's what's going on there that's what's going i guess she looks like she gives the meanest happy guy that failed biology i guess um she looks like yeah i mean she looks like she gives a way happy ending bro and also a sad ending where she will shoot your nuts right off your body oh no she's a

shotgun she looks like she'll jack you off with her feet god damn bro i don't have a problem with i don't think that's true nick knows what i'm talking about you gotta pay double for that bro no i don't think so and also it looks like her house is a mess as well but that's whatever she's busy bro this clearly is this halloween i don't think so this is a typical tuesday yeah this is like gwen oh yeah this seemed like west virginia just like an average afternoon in west virginia just wandering around the house in some fucking leg tights and she's in tall tall heels bro she's got chokers on her thighs which is very unique are those real leg do you think she yeah those are real she looks like she looks like she's gonna you could put on fucking big trouble little china and eat a fucking 12 piece of chicken wings yeah she jacks you off oh dude she looks like she could fucking cook a frog in her mouth if she wanted to.

Yeah, bro. She looks like a very chef. She's like a female chef, maybe. She looks like she eats Funyuns. Yeah, she could just put a couple eggs on a plate and just shoot that gun at him and just fucking boom an omelet. Right in your mouth. She seems like, yeah.

Yeah. Like, just really, like, she has some unique ways to cook. She looks like she'll make top ramen and put double the seasoning in. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah. She looks like she'll make top ramen put double the seasoning in oh yeah dude she looks like she'll make top ramen bottom ramen dude she looks like she's definitely giving a ramen enema to somebody she seems like she could be a nurse and i'd pay in saigon so she seemed like a cool lady that could also work at a pet store she has a lot of possibilities a pet store i don't get that vibe yeah she could be a doctor as well look at that wow doctor yeah also i don't get that vibe really get a masseuse vibe i get uh an extra on crazy rich asian i get a um she does look asian yeah i didn't think about that she does look pretty asian a little

bit asian and all the shoes are by the door that's a very asian oh dude very asian don't fucking touch me bro whether you're talking about asians or not and i asked to build a wall right here between me and him all right trumpy uh is that it that does it for flaunt my aunt dude we ended on a positive note we did yeah hell yeah she'll grill up some mean ass fucking ribs for you if you want oh i'd let that lady shoot me right in the fucking dick with a titty gun, bro. She's hot. Yeah, hell yeah she's hot. Put your dick away, bro.

Time for King It or Sting It. You guys want to pull out those buttons? You're fucking right, I do. Thought you'd never ask. Say no more, Aunt Gwen. It's Nicky Wynn. Aunt Gwen, bro. Reluctantly pulling out the button. Let's go, bro.

Let's go. And this first one could be trouble for Theo. It's from Elsa Asgard, which I believe to be a fake name. Elsa. Hey, boys. This is Elsa calling from New York City. We're not calling. So I shot my first porn film the other day, and it was anal.

And I was like, really? Anal? It's my first scene. But I mean, I got paid double, and I did hurt, but I kind of got into it towards the end and the director gave me a cookie after, so that was cool. Good doctor. Oh, and speaking of ass, I saw the Rip My Drip segment last week and Theo, my love, all I got to say is baby got back.

Gang, gang. Anyways, anal sex, king of their stinging. Dude, she wants to fuck your ass. No, she doesn't, does she? Yeah, that's the vibe I got from it. Who is her? What's her name again? Elsa?

Elsa Asgard. I thought she was from that movie. Do you want to build a snowman? No. Do you want to build? No. Do you want to build a snowman? Yeah, that one.

Let's not drag that into this because that is not the Elsa I watch. Well, it looks like she probably works like that girl at parties i'll say this uh she seemed like a you know like a lady that's really thinking about her future you don't think that she's trying to get a job i think she got taken advantage of it sounds like it's a doctor gave her something after sex no they gave her a cookie because it's the first time she let someone go in the fucking crapper shoe yeah and then it also appears that she wants to fuck your ass theo well she said i watched that rip in the rip in the drip and theo baby got back oh i got some junk in the trunk no he doesn't yeah he needs glasses i got that j she needs glasses bro i got you have the flattest ass i've ever seen you can't uh see then dude i can see perfectly fine yeah

really yeah bro get the ass of screech it's not good and she wants to touch it i got the did anyone else get that vibe that she wants to lick theo's asshole whoa whoa first of all also get your fucking boner off of my table bro dude i'm gonna tell your po this thing's a half mass bro like george bush just died nah okay half mass yeah and i'll say this she got that she knows i got that junk in the trunk i got that jay in the tray little you little fucking skittle monkey okay and i don't know if she wants that rainbow she wants that roy g biv you know she wants daddy to uh pop colors all up in that boot tie so So I'll say this, you know, we'll see about it, okay? So you're down to bidet that asshole for her?

I don't know this woman. First of all, I'm down to maybe get a coffee or something and talk or something. She seems coffee and talk. There's no coffee and talk. I'm not letting this woman hear my butt unless she works for a professional organization that helps people, you know, maybe wax their butt or that somebody know if she have a doctor's diploma she might so so king or sting it anal if she goes to medical school then uh then anal but if somebody's just freelance some fucking yeah i just can't be a fucking bootleg nurse no yeah some

bootleg nurse driving a uh it can't be a no alley booty hole. Some bootleg nurse driving a... It can't be a no-alley booty hole. I don't know what's going on with it. I mean, I think it has to be somebody you kind of get to know at least over Snapchat. Which I think you guys could do. I don't know. Look, did she say she's a nurse or she didn't say anything? No, no profession needed except aspiring actress, I guess.

Oh, I'll solve it. Yeah, yeah motherfucker porno porno star okay okay case solved well i don't i don't watch pornography i'm 54 days off pornography right now so your pl bro you watch that but you know i'd love to hear about some more of her experiences, but we appreciate you reaching out. Hey, bro. Hey, can you sting an anal for fuck's sake? Jesus Christ, bro. I think it depends. She doesn't need life advice. Okay, sorry.

She said guys drop loads in her asshole. Whoa, guy, guy. She doesn't need your life advice right now. She said she's working with a doctor. Okay. Yeah, that's a fake doctor with a huge cock. Is it really? Does it say it's learning the

metaphors here and he gave her a cookie yeah yeah the cookie was busting all over her face bro oh man god you've been out of the game too long it feels like she's getting caught up in some stuff maybe she should seek some assistance i think all right man king or sting it anal but i'm gonna say uh for me i'm planning on keeping my butt just right for the Lord, you know? The only way I'm getting anal is whenever I go back to the Lord. Yeah, I'm not saying that you're going to be getting done in the booty. Do you like to do it to girls? Oh, I mean, if they're adults and the people have been discussing it for a while.

Yeah, you down? Yeah, I'm in. All right, me too. I'm in. All right right king anal but i don't think just people drive that was a long road to get there though bro you're trying to give her advice she just wants to get fucked man yeah well she's god damn oh you didn't see the cry for help video that she fucking sent out i didn't see that at all bro

this is trying to get views bro this is You're giving her advice on her medical bills. Well, this is the modern day throw a message in a bottle and throw it into the frickin' river. Really? To you and me? Yeah, and this bitch just tossed that into the Hudson, bro. She wants to—she's obviously being taken advantage of in a castle somewhere. No, bro, she's trying to make a porno with you and get views. Well, I'm not doing anything like that.

No, we got to run it by your PO and see what he says. All right, number two for King It or Sting It from Treya Hubin. Oh, wow. A brother. Hey, guys. It's Treya from Boston. I wanted to hear what you guys think of women that propose to their boyfriends. It's kind of weird to me.

I don't know if I'd do it, but some men like it. I'm not sure. What do you guys think of it, King It or Sting It? Is that an angel from Austin? Good on God. Look at those eyes and the hair and the lips. That's Treya Rubin. I thought he was going to be a shooting guard. That's a beautiful young lady. That is gorgeous.

He doesn't mean a shooting guard from Kentucky? And also it could be, yeah, it's a beautiful young lady. That jacket's a little thick for Austin, but whatever, girl. She got that quarter, she's dressed like Chris D'Elia. She has that Chris D'Elia jacket on.

A little bit. Orange flamingo colored fucking corduroy. That's way Chris D'Elia, but you seem like a nice lady, Trey. She looks like a movie star. And I'll be in Boston

at the Wilbur Theater. Austin, bitch! Is it Austin? I'd have to hear it again. Yeah, it sounded like Austin. That's a thick coat for Austin, though Theo might be right guys it's trey from boston boston and so i'm gonna say this don't fucking touch me i didn't touch you you put your hand out there i'll say this trey uh i'll be in boston at the wilbur theater so get tickets yeah it's almost sold out, but I will say this also, that... You would ask women proposing to dudes?

Uh-uh. I say no. Hell no. Look, we can't... Let's be honest. There's some things you don't want... Don't take that from us. Yeah.

And who's... What guy's gonna be like, yeah, this is cool? A little straight up fucking Muppet, bro. Muppet babies think that yeah some fucking meek little guy that's never even used a hammer some guy that probably works you know he doesn't even work he got laid off from geek squad doesn't know how to change a tire only eats orange starburst yeah propose to that dude yeah some guy that lives with his mom yeah but now if it's some woman that wants to be you know taking advantage of a guy and like

manipulation and that sort of thing, then go do your thing, ladies. That's fine. But just know the guy that you ask that, that says yes, I think it's going to be a rare instance where it's cool. Hell no. It's going to be cornered. If you proposed to your man, you might as well fuck him in the ass down the road. Jesus Christ.

That's how the homegirl kicked it off, bro. I'm going to say hell no. She did not. She's driving. Not her. The sister. Your sister. Elsa.

Well, get your mind out of the dang gutter, man. I can't. Elsa freaked me out, man. Well, that's gone now. And what's here now is Treya. What's her name? Treya. Treya.

Treya Hubin. No, we call her Treya. Treya. I know her. Treya Hubin. And that's Dutch now is Treya. What's her name? Treya. Treya. Treya. No, we call her Treya. I know her. Treya. Treya. And that's Dutch, I think. And she, what was her question?

Women proposing. Yeah. Or sting it. And I say, sting it, man. Sting it. Yeah. Women, just find something else to do. Give us that.

Yeah, there's some stuff that we don't do that you guys do. You know? So just don't do everything that we do. Like what, though? Huh? Like what do they do that we don't do that you guys do, you know? So just don't do everything that we do. Like what, though? Huh? Like what do they do that we don't do? Here's an example over the next one from Bradley Marchin. What's happening?

This is Brad coming at you from Slawdale, Louisiana. Gang. Me and the guys at work had a little bit of a debate today. One of my coworkers had just come back from getting a massage, and he was talking about the guy who gave him a massage. And I said if they would have gave me a dude, I would have asked for a chick. Yeah. And they said they had no problems with a dude masseuse.

Your friend, okay. King of the sting, man-on-man massage action. Dude, sting. And it's not... It's just... I just can't relax when a dude has touched me like that. It's just... And I'm not homophobic or anything like that.

I just can't get into my happy place. Yeah. I like a big, thick, borderline fat girl to just get on my muscles and get really in there with their elbows. Oh, yeah. The problem is they breathe heavy. Yeah. They take up all the oxygen. Then they start sweating, and then I get unfocused.

So it's a fine line. I've had a small Asian girl really get gritty in there. But definitely no dudes. Oh, I get that thigh massage where they walk up and down your back and stuff. I had this one little bitty Vietnamese lady. I think she might have fallen directly into my ass, bro, while she was walking down my back. I mean, so. With a heel?

With a heel? Dude, she could do a spinning turn kick and land right on my fucking spine, bro, and just solve all my problems, dude. That felt good, though. Oh, bro, I fucking remember the algebra when she fucking hit me hard enough. So there were some very special moments that a lot of these ladies can do. If some fucking big dude that's been up all night eating fucking snacks and, like, you know, crying on the phone to his mom is going to then get on my back and walk up and down it or solve my problems with his hands, dude. Forearms like Popeye's? Fuck no.

Sting that shit. Hell no. Yeah, dude. That's easy, bro. Sting that. No. Sting that shit. Hell no.

Yeah, dude. That's easy, bro. Sting that. And if your boy likes to leave at lunch and let another man fucking soften his body up, dude, then maybe you should talk to him more, okay? And introduce him to some strong women. Because you don't have to go all the way to a man. Sometimes you can stop at a strong woman and solve your problems right there. Which is what I do.

Yeah. I have a couple of friends that are dating men now, and they're like, fuck, man. I should have just dated a strong woman and solve your problems right there. Which is what I do. Yeah. I have a couple of friends that are dating men now and they're like, fuck man, I should have just dated a strong woman. I'm like, yeah, you should have. I've seen a thousand times.

Yeah. And it's, there's that middle ground. There's that tough girl, you know, there's that arm wrestler, you know, some chick named Janet or Tiff,

you know, they're out there. Get in there. Get in there. All right. The next one from Chloe Ellie. Hey, you guys. These are white strips just to clear that up.

Question. King it or sting it. Women who cuss a lot. I myself have quite a dirty mouth. And my brother will always call me out on it and say, Chloe, no guy is going to want to end up being with you because you curse like a sailor. I follow that up with, fuck you.

But I just wanted to know y'all's opinion on that. Anyways, love you guys. Theo, especially you. Marry me? Just kidding. You think she was kidding or not? I don't know. I feel like she was serious.

She seemed like a jokester. But I was going to say yes, but. She just said I'm not kidding. No, she's serious. At the end, not kidding? So you had a proposal. Dude, I feel like you're having a good day. The one girl wanted to do you in the booty and have you do her in the

booty who knows what that girl wanted and also i don't need kidnapped and if that was a cry for help maybe but let's just take it for what it is and then you just got proposed to bro yeah well it's my lucky curious george sweater yeah not creepy in the least that's what kind of happens when you take care of yourself and show up to work as a professional not like you who doesn't even memorize the whole alphabet before he leaves the house dude you the pita light in your pocket and it was a popsicle wait so what oh girls who cuss there's a fine line like if you're dropping f-bombs all goddamn day i can't bring around the family you know i'm saying it gets a little less sexy although she was kind

of sexy with it yeah but it also if you're hot as shit i'll put up with some shit really oh you call my mom whatever you want if you're hot enough go ahead and salt her girl suck this dick on the road home you know i'm saying damn dude what can you guys any it sounds like people are just sucking dick all the time over by you what i'm saying is this mile high what's her name again dandra chloe ellie close though chloe seemed like a nice lady she's scottish or from somewhere and i'll say this that chloe what was she asking about um women girls who cuss oh yeah you don't have any brain i don't mind it once in a while you know i don't mind it around the holidays you know like oh i fucking love this mistletoe or something like that but i don't want some girl who's just like ah fuck it's wednesday you know yeah i need you to i need

to use it you're you're degrading it when you use it too much yeah i don't need you know just like a waitress from amherst mass you know, ah, fuck. Let's get a fucking sandwich. Eggs. Fuck. Frank died. You know? I don't need that. I need.

So once in a while, I don't mind it. I don't mind it during sex. If somebody's being sexual. If somebody's. Don't fucking touch me. Don't fucking touch me. Don't touch me. And I asked you guys to put something here.

Not a wall, but a plant or something. At least, yeah. If you come over here, not allowed in. Go back home and take your kids over there, too. We're trying to get our free medical. Oh, wow. So what I'm saying is this, then. We need to allow...

What was this girl talking about? Sorry, real fast. Girls who cuss. Yes. Occasionally, I think it's good. You know? Around Easter, you guys are looking outside of the church with the kids, and she's like, where are these fucking eggs? That kind of stuff, it's fun.

But I think, yeah, some lady who's just dropping F-bombs into the salad that she's making in the kitchen, bro, I'm out. Not sexy. Or on Christmas, like, I love fucking Christmas. Like, damn, girl. You got to know when to use it. Yeah, yeah. But then everybody's different. And I think over text messages and stuff like that, it's fine.

She's hot enough to get away with it for a little bit. Yeah, and I think it just depends if it's a sense of humor. But I like a lady that's a little bit more. Classy. A little more classy here and there. And then behind closed doors, if you want to throw it around, if we're playing Mario Kart, and you're like, eat this fucking banana peel princess oh i like that yeah that's one loser yeah i'll take that yeah yeah but i don't think more than two

f-bombs in a day for me yeah i'm gonna go ahead so should we sting it it's case by case it's case by case but i'm gonna sting it if you're hot enough i'll take it king it and what do these buzzers even mean do Do they mean anything? It just ends the convo. The next one from Sarah Vargas. Hi. Huge fan of both of you guys. I love you both, but I love Theo a little bit more.

Can't wait to see you in a few weeks in Phoenix. But King or Sting it. Who picked these? Clearly pro Theo. Who picked them? It was Chin. Jesus Christ. I'd like to put my chin on those uh chin rests all right replay that lady's from where breasting ham can she feed all the children fan of both of you guys i love you both but i love to feel a little bit more um can't wait to

see you in a few weeks and can you just sing it filters onters. On your pictures. Fuck no. That's some catfish tendencies. And she's filtered. Because she's filtered, right? Cuts down about 30 pounds. Leaves the fat tits. But in the face, it'll cut it down, give them bigger eyes. It's a form of catfish. Really?

Yeah, because then you see them personally like, God damn, pan face. Yeah. Because they've been using these filters. That's pandemonium, dude. I'll tell you this, man. If they want a filter, make a real filter that shows us who you really are. How about a filter that shows if you've lied before to someone you care about, huh?

Preach, dude. What about a filter that shows, oh, this person might die of alcoholism or this person's going to sell all your shit on the internet while you're out of town? How about a racist filter? How about a filter I can't read? Yeah. And just your face yeah dude yeah that sounded like a cry for help kind of from brendan but what i'm saying is this i don't mind a filter for the first picture or two i don't mind it occasionally but i don't think you can do the full-time filtering because at a certain point it's just you hiding you know like you can always tell like if a girl doesn't have one eye because in all of her pictures she's like this you know i've seen

that she's like oh i just ordered a coffee and it's you know i'm just holding it by my face or it's like you know she'll be hiding behind like a little like a little black tree like this like oh just playing hide and go seek with my friends you know you're basically wearing a mask yeah yeah and so sometimes you gotta be the real person. Sometimes. And sometimes it's fun. You want to look nice if you're being sexy and you want to put a little trout or a little choo-choo over your cooter or whatever if you're sending sexuals. But what I'm saying is if you're sending natural face shots, you can't use it all the time.

You can do the hat or something if it's St. Paddy's. The glasses, like reading a book with your tits out. Yeah, or NyQuil, you know, Danny's getting rest, you know. But you can't do it full time all the time because then it just seems like something's hiding. Then it's fake. Yeah. We live in a digital world. I'm going to stay stingy.

Yeah. Now, unless you bring a filter over, if you're going to date someone, if you go on for soup or something, you bring a big filter and hold it in front of your face the whole time while you eat or set it there. Then you're actually living the life. Yeah. You're not living a lie. You're living the life. Yeah. True life.

I'm a filter. Yeah. True life. True life. I'm a filter, dude. So and if you're Jewish, you can order the filter fish. That's a little Jewish joke. I believe.

Which is kind of cute. All right, the last one of the day from Christian Lamarche. Sounds like he's from Louisiana. Shout out to them Slido boys that hit us. Okay. What's up, Theo? What's up, Brendan? My name's Chris.

I'm from Vaudreuil, Quebec, Ontario, Canada. Not really, but whatever. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I got a question for King It or Sting It. Circumcisions. You down for a nice clean head or you down for the foreskin? Let us know, man. Don't touch me. Let us know, man. us know man we said don't touch me at the end

you see that no and he hit his fucking stepmother what i'm saying is this brother look if you're fucking wiener okay if your wiener your body wiener wants to look like a little damn ewok or something then yeah have foreskin you fucking creep? It looks like your wiener is wearing like a little fucking dumb hat. It looks like it's wearing some sort of hood. Yeah. Yeah. I heard it feels better, though. Really?

Well, God gave us hoods for a reason. And then we just went, nah, fuck it. Then snipped it so it looks like a bald man. But you know who else wears a hood? Ku Klux Klan. That's a good point. Who else does? Who else wears? Think about hoodsux klan that's a good point who else does who else think about hoods little red riding hood yeah and she klu klux klan members klu klux klan

isis yeah bank robbers trayvon martin this shit don't end well is what i'm saying guys dude so you were dropping knowledge today don't fucking touch me dropping fucking k's boy like randy johnson i'm fucking killing swans bitch it was a pigeon was it really it was a pigeon yeah no swan a giant swan doesn't make sense does it theo yeah swans are in the air they're huge yeah a swan he didn't kill a swan he didn't blow up a swan as a pigeon flying by, bro. How was there not a video game? It's Randy Johnson in an aviary. Oh, like Duck Hunter.

Yeah. Duck, but Randy Johnson like this. How did nobody make that? God, how? That's definitely not. Why should we not make that? Yeah. And let's see that video of him killing that pigeon right there. And look at that.

Blew the pigeon up. 15 years ago today. It's like 1 in 20 million chance of this happening. Not when you're Randy Johnson, dude. Probably 1 in 3. Not if it's a swan. What was this lady asking about? This guy was asking about,

the Hulk was asking about circumcisions. Also, first of all, the man is dressed up like the Hulk. Looks like he wants to circumcise people, I think. Yeah, and he seems like really a guy who's trying to get his life back together and get things in order. There's no art on the walls. It's an Ikea couch.

Yeah, he's shooting pornography videos, and he's definitely – it's an Airbnb that he's running a porn scam in. But I'll say this. Outside of that, he seemed like an outgoing, gregarious young man. I think that's Elsa's doctor. Yeah, it could be. There's a connection there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, there's definitely a connection, bro.

Here's the problem why you got to circumcise kids because the rest of the kids and nick you clearly have a anteater for a dick i can get that vibe from you circumcised all the way sir i don't really think so i don't believe that either actually either because you don't give off that vibe just get a tattoo that says i agree at least on your face i just feel like when my son's in the like if he's in the locker room the rest of the kids have the helmet. Right. If he is the only anteater, you know those locker rooms ain't nice. And if you have that long one, you got to paint that thing a little bit dark if you're going to pull it out in the classroom.

That's what I think. Because if people see that dark hitter, they're like, oh, that guy. Oh, he has a bat wing on his dick. But if you pull out that long, white, fucking, yeah, that thing that's just eating insects, dude, it's not going to go over well. I heard you have to clean it all the time, yeah somebody said to take it in you got to clean you have to get like a little a check a oil change yeah one of those quip toothbrushes like somebody said you have to do all these like specialty little deals special massage and shit yeah i'm not doing that it's too much it's not paying some guy to fucking walk up and down my wiener

that's insane not snip it off bro yeah that's the past now could i see that making a comeback yes i could yeah hoods are in i heard people want to do different stuff and people want to grow you know grow their dick out and keep different skin on their body that's fine so i'm gonna say so it's king or sting it circumcision i'm saying sting it man i don't want it i just no don't cut innocent kids dick? I'm saying sting it, man. I don't want it. I just... No, don't cut innocent kids' dick. So you're saying king it, keep it.

I'm going to say... Well, is he... Sting. He's stinging circumcisions if you don't want it. Keep the hood, you're stinging circumcisions. No, because the only reason to do it is obviously because everyone else has a helmet. But the other thing is it's just a religious tradition. It makes no sense.

It definitely makes sense to people make side imagine you have a long skin on your dick and you know it's there for a reason turtleneck bro and you suddenly you get a freaking piece of little almond or something in there like you die in the blender yeah you fall down and get a little dirt in there and you forget about it just shoot that thing out no but you get it in the skin it's gonna get you're gonna get infection it's dangerous i say uh sting it we just do it for religious reasons yeah i say just until we need it if people need to hide something small like a jewels or something if you're still in jewels yeah keep it man that's a good idea you could keep a couple diamonds right

around the edge of your fucking headpiece it's a kangaroo pouch for your dick yeah but if not dude i don't think you should be doing it and also this man is also wearing a green uh you can't see him but this guy's man is dressed up with the incredible hulk so maybe also circumcise your childhood brother you know and uh and i just say that because i can need that from experience dude i'm still doing shit that i did when i was a kid you know so and sometimes i wish i would change some of my own ways so oh this guy's sad it's not sad no you're talking to this guy what's his name jonathan no you guys are doing well this is bradley yeah bradley bro you have the worst bruce bradley from uh that's bruce credible hulk bruce wayne's batman you're right bro wow what was the hulk's name bruce bruce a child? Bruce. Bruce Banner. Bruce Banner, baby.

And, uh. Dude, King is stinging for his skin. Praise God, brother. I say King, sting this foreskin. Keep them dicks long. No, get rid of them. No, I say keep them. You want those turtlenecks?

I don't care. But if you see one, how are you going to feel? Ah! But keep it. Okay. Okay, so you like a little bit of fear, dude. Yeah. It's fear-based.

I love that, actually. All right. Keep them bitches, bro. Yeah. Send in a couple pictures of them. I agree. I haven't seen one in a long time. Rip your drips.

Yeah. Rip your dick. We'll rip your whip, brother. Send that sucker in, dude. Rip your stick. Yeah. And we're not doing that. But actually, if somebody does have one, send us a picture from not close up.

Stretch it out like a bat wing for us? No. What are you going for? Send it from a medical perspective, dude. I'm not doing shit like that. We're going to get in trouble. Yeah, you're probably right. Don't send them. Yeah, or draw one.

That's it. If you have it, draw it or get somebody to draw it. Or just describe it to us in a video. Yeah, maybe that. Let's do a couple of descriptions of what it's like to have uncircumcised penis and some of the pitfalls of that and some of the joys of that. Pros and cons. Yeah, we'll do that. Sting it or king it. So we'll do a pro and con

video next week of that because I've never even thought about it before. Pros and cons of dicks? Yeah, and people can tell them if there's a pro. We need the pros from someone with the anteater dick. Oh yeah, that's what I'm saying. You got two helmet squad here. Right, so this is only for people that have them.

Yeah, don't submit to us if you... You're just fucking guessing like us. I don't know if we want this. I think it'd be neat to have a couple. Let's try it one time. Pro and con of... Circumcision? Of circumcision, yeah.

And what it's like to still have that fucking long header. You know what I'm saying? What it's like to have that fucking body straw. What it's like to have that cape on the front. Yeah, you could just slurp a puddle up. Yeah, bro. Finish a slushie.

What it's like to have that wizard sleeve on your fucking dick. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Oh, dude. That thing definitely, bro. You got that fucking

hide and go suck. Yeah. What's it like to have that thing? Let us know. Is that it, bro? That's all. Praise God, man.

Thank you guys for your submissions. And I'm just tired today, man. Sorry I've had a long week. I know I'm a little bit tired. No, you're not know. Is that it, bro? Praise God, man. Thank you guys for your submissions. I'm just tired today, man. Sorry I've had a long week. I know I'm a little bit tired. No, you're not tired. You killed it, brother. You did great. Just so it's clear, I get this all the time in my DMs, not on Circumcised Dick Picks. I get how they submit

questions and videos. The way you do it is in the link in the YouTube description box, Correct? Yes. And then this week, we're going to have separate links for Rip My Drip, King It or Sting It, every single one. Oh, wonderful.

There you go. So it's in the link in the description box of the King and Sting YouTube. There you go. That's how you submit them, y'all. Yep. And you can support King and the Sting by following us on Instagram. And you can support us just like how you guys have been. Subscribing, the fan artwork, the fan submissions, all that. You you can support us just like how you guys have been subscribing yeah fan artwork the fans thank you so much you guys make the show we love you guys this shit has been a blast you can support our uh advertisers and sponsors if you want to if it's

something that you need and uh and we greatly appreciate it man this has been exciting so far we're still in a temporary studio some people don't know that so at some point we'll be moving to a different studio. But we've been really fortunate to have just a fun team that we're working with and to be figuring this all out and have Nick and Chin on board to help us out and even Cat. And Malka, Cat, the whole squad, man. Yeah, it's been a unique experience. And we didn't know how it was going to go.

Let's keep it going, dude. We keep it going. All right? We appreciate you guys. I'm fucking touching you. Don't fucking touch me. Don't fucking touch me. It's the king in the state. Talking about anything.

The king in the state. Talking about anything. He said, if you know what's trending, send it in. If you feel it, brand it. They'll just remember every minute. So don't you dare get offended It's king in this thing You better get that can here and bring it You twist it up and we'll bring it out of the box

Without thinking It's the king in this thing It's the king in this thing It's the king in the sky