The Golden Hour - Episode 65: Brendan’s Butterscotch Getaways

Episode Date: April 17, 2020

The guys talk Easter, Danes Of Thunder, Theo's Mud Hike With Soccer-Style Attire, Lightwing F*ck, Pond Thot's, Getting A Puppy During Quarantine, All New Sink My Ink's, Neck Tats, Heady Bravo, The Hillside Bangler, Relations With Cousins, Walmart vs Target, Dinosaur Deniers, Roadside Attractions, King And The Sting Caskets and much more!Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsMyBookie - https://mybookie.ag promo code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you started wearing a mask around town? I wore a mask when I went to the grocery. They said you have to now. Yeah, to get in certain places you have to. Yeah, to get in here you have to. It does say that on the door. That's going to haunt us on the insurance issue. But, uh, none of us have one.

It does say that on the door. But these were all pre-recorded in when? February? Yeah. Yeah. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro.

I'm not touching you, dude. You never gone to taekwondo? I feel like that's not your thing. Fuck no, dude. Bro, after seeing you hike, don't do any sports. Y'all went hiking. You should have seen this little thot on the mountain, bro. It was muddy, but goddamn.

I heard somebody say, who brought the transgender stripper hiking? Look at this little mud skipper. What? Look at this mud skipper. Well, you said, Brendan. This little mud shark. You freaking human fucking frigidaire. You said.

Keep going. I said, what should I wear? Is it nice to hike? Dude, you're on a hike. I didn't say you were going to fucking party in WeHo. What the fuck are you wearing, bro? He said just wear some soccer style stuff. You didn't have to blow out your hair for the hike, bro.

He said wear soccer style stuff, dude, and that blow out your hair for the hike bro he said we're soccer style stuff dude and that was it dude soccer stuff i did 270 yards of mud uphill mud it's all mud and he's packed in a mud he's on a four-wheeler he's totally cool and comfortable he has dogs he has hunting dogs he has beagles he has a temperature he's testing the mud to make sure it's the temperature's okay I was raised in the mud. Bro, well, this guy. Look at this little fire. Bro, it almost blew my back out walking up all that mud, man. Yeah, we'll get you back.

Shout out to my boy Suplex in Philly. Shout out to nobody, dude. That was a fucking, I should call the cops on your ass. Yeah, you should. Okay, buff-ass Theo. I see you, homie. Dude, I showed up. Zoom in, bro. ass theo i see you dude i showed up zoom in bro zoom in we keep zooming hey hey zoom in he's built like a lego piece covered in cheese

yeah far away he looks like that you get in there bro that's a man's body right yeah well look what happened to my back after walking up all that mud. I was straight up when I got up there. You idiot. I was breakdancing. Look at my, look at the dislocation. I dislocated my damn rectum or something. Apparently you dislocated your lower body from your upper body. Well, that's what I'm saying.

Don't take me on that shit, bro. Take me on a regular hike. My favorite part is you had those brand new shoes brand new shoes i had to leave them at my house they got wrecked they're wrecked man here's the worst part though so we hike up the mountain yeah dude hold on before he does the story i had to take the easy path for this fucking for the fucking lesbian aunt over here on the hike, bro. The easy path. We took the shortcut.

Shortcut? Yeah, because you're wearing hiking stuff, dude. Try doing it in fucking cheerleading shit. That's the only shit I had in my car was some men's, kind of a younger man's kind of clothing. Why were your shorts so short? That's what I had. You said it was wear soccer like a tire.

I'm like, Jesus, dude. Bro, it was at least probably a mile of mud, just uphill mud. How long was the whole hike? Oh, I don't even remember. Six miles. You ever seen Passion of the Christ? You ever seen that? Now imagine that in mud.

And short shorts. And a boxy body look at his pose mildly similar to that hey imagine passion of christ if he was a gingerbread man i do have that gingerbread body bro i pull out that straight up fucking g bread physique son made you know what i'm saying huh i told y'all i'm built like a conestoga wagon you freaks i'm built like a damn basement freezer dude dog. Dude, but once you warmed up, that fucking caboose started moving. And he was just cruising, bro. You could have went all day.

Choo-choo. And his backside was going chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. I was like, damn, bro. Oh, every now and then I had to take a piece of coal and just put it in my butt. I was cruising, bro. Well, here's the thing. You just got to warm up, bro, and you're moving. As if this fucking Oregon Trail of Brendan's couldn't get any shittier.

So, first of all, the guy takes me on this fucking thing. I thought I was gonna get raped at one point, bro. Very sketchy. Very sketchy. And even one of the past, it was like the Natalie Holloway tour. Very alarming for mountains. I was like, what is this? And the sign had been made by Brendan.

You knew it had been because Holloway was dispelled. Okay? It had two A's in it. All the way. So, first of all, we hike up. You struggled so bad. Yeah, because I wasn't equipped.

I wasn't equipped for the thing, you freak. I don't want to see you die early, man. Tell your trainers to quit pushing that fucking sled all the time. It ain't working. I wasn't equipped for this kind of shit, you idiot. When people ask you for information, you have to give them information.

You can't just say stuff that doesn't make any sense, dude. I was like, yeah, is it going to be muddy? Can we hike today? Is it safe out there? Yeah, man. Wear something soccer style. What does soccer style mean? I don't know. That's not even

soccer style. This is one of your Well, here's the worst part. It looks like I was hiking and found someone lost. Hey, well here's the worst part hey it looks like I was hiking and found someone lost hey they just saved me bro I'm like dude I found this fucking tranny on the hills up here man hey dude tell me where you parked

your fucking Subaru Outback I'll take you there oh no you won't I'll tell you the rest of the story so we park Brendan instead of walking to the freaking front of the Subaru Outback. I'll take you there. No, you won't. I'll tell you the rest of this story. So, we park. Brendan, instead of walking to the frickin' front of the hike, decides to drive us to the front of the hike, okay? Immediately then, I

frickin' made sure I had my rape whistle in my pocket, okay? That's the first clue of a frickin' sex offender. Somebody's gonna drive you up a hike. So, we get partially up the hike, and so he parks, we get out, we walk out, drive you up a hike so we get partially up the hike and so he parks we get out we walk out we walk up the hike so then he takes us down some back way into the shortcut right this whole fucking ant zoo over here couldn't keep going dude i almost blew out my

fucking occipitals man you're a delinquent. Your ass implants almost gave out. My cossacks was fucking rocked, bro, because you couldn't put me on level ground, or at least just tell me to be prepared. Do I need a walking stick? All of this. Nah, nah, man. Quit being a little bitch, bro. Okay. Here's the worst

part. So we get off of the hill. Okay, we get off of the fucking whatever this was, dude. This avalanche. It's a mountain. It was flowing. The mud was flowing at one point. And I ride my bike up that bitch.

Bro, there were four hedgehogs went by in a boat, dude. In a P-Row that they made out of a piece of birch. So anyway, we get off the hike. We're into a neighborhood. I'm like, well, this is weird. Where are we even going? We keep walking. I'm like, are we close? He's like, yeah off the hike we're into a neighborhood i'm like well this is weird where are we even going we keep walking i'm like are we close he's like yeah man we're almost there we keep hiking for about another 25 minutes to brendan's house bro so we get there and i'm like dude what are we doing here the shortcut where's the car and he's like oh fuck man

we fucking drove there and then i go he forgot yeah no I didn't forget I took the shortcut and then I go dude just give me a ride back to my car and dude goes my keys are in your car oh shit

so just really so that was our day damn so that is the last time I don't check trip advisor basically that was a nightmare damn what a day bro he's wearing Last time, I don't check TripAdvisor. Basically.

That was a nightmare, dude. Damn, what a day. Bro, he's wearing huge duck boots. He's wearing those big waffle things on the bottom of his shoes. I'm wearing the Cam Haines boots, man. Yeah, this guy's got me out there like can't hangs. Yeah. This dude's got me struggling. Dude, you're a struggle city.

Oh, it was tough, man. You look like a stripper on ice. Dude, just sent my mom a little rona gif brosie oh yeah would you send her a mask uh oh probably would have been a good idea no but i can't i figured i'm gonna try to take care of from the inside so i sent some athletic green oh my lord your mama is gonna be running marathons in no time you're talking about athletic greens the ultimate daily all-in-one health drink with 75 vitamins and minerals what well that's exactly what i'm talking about does your mama know it's in powder form you just mix in a little bit of water and take that thing straight to the dome

dude half my family's in recovery of course my mother knows it's in powder form dude heck yeah athletic greens it is a specialty little uh, if you will, a morning dust. It includes prebiotics, probiotics, digestive enzyme, adaptogens, superfoods, and more. Giving your one-stop shop to help support your body's nutritional needs across five critical areas of health. Dang. Athletic Greens provides convenient, affordable, and tasty solution to fill the gaps in your diet. Because you know what? One thing I noticed when I get up in the morning, I was like, man, am I going to, I want to make sure I have the right stuff throughout my diet, but I have a glass of water. Then I have a second glass, put the athletic green powder in,

throw an ice cube in there. What I like to do is to make me feel better about myself. I like to go to Panda Express. I get a double orange chicken scoop, but I down it with some Athletic Greens. So it's like, okay, not too bad. We see what he's doing here. He has some minerals in there and some orange chicken. They're like, we see what you're doing. Yeah, dog.

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Yeah, I'll sniff that stuff, bro. Look, man, it's bumming me, dude, with these sports and stuff. I can't even bet on anything. I'm thinking I'm betting on my own games of NBA 2K. Do it, man. But you got to do it at my bookie. Because sports screeching halt. There's no basketball being played. There's no pitchers right now. Well, guess what? My bookie because sports screeching halt there's no basketball

being played there's no pitchers right now well guess what my bookie they're not going anywhere they're not gonna let you down stay sane and stay entertained yep your favorite games like blackjack roulette slots all that stuff man yeah things don't have to come to end with my bookie yeah whatever so but they don't but there's no hockey right now what do i do you don't need it dude you can bet on esports all right straight from the court in nba 2k 20 plus you can always do your part to make your bankroll great again by take advantage of shifting odds on political bets get dude get creative they're reliable they're the best you can get you pay you get you get paid fast dude oh wow and so what i can bet on like i know

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Promo code K-A-T-S. Thanks, B. And then he came over for Easter, dude. I came over for Easter, bro. Brendan wouldn't spend any time with me. Says he's going to draw the whole time. And here's a video of Brendan drawing while we play with his son in the distance hey while my son beats the shit out of him you can hear my son beating the shit out of

the background drawing his bunny wait you drew that yeah you can draw yeah what no i thought it was good did you see did you see my cookie? No. Look at my cookie. That's pretty damn good. Your cookie's pretty good. I've always been able to draw. Yeah? Yeah, man. Hold on, bro. Compared to Theo, too?

Well, I'll never go. You should have seen Theo's thing. Theo's thing got real sad. Somebody found black chalk and drew a skeleton and then a rabbit like this next to it. And then a bunch of pills i'm like dude there's kids here you stupid fuck mine did have kind of a defeatist edge to it but i will say this dude i wouldn't classify i couldn't draw first of all because my spine was dislocated from my in 11 different places from my four-year-old son fucking you up. He was struggling.

His son's insane, man. Oh, really? He really is, yeah. And his legs go different than his body, bro. His head would be over here and his legs would be over here just running forward.

He's crazy, bro. He'll go 200 rounds with you. 200 rounds? That's what he wants to do. He's like, I want to do 140 rounds in the yard. I'm like, what? He's like, don't worry, two minute rounds.

So it got pretty intense, man. What'd you guys do for Easter? Yeah, what'd you guys do after Brendan got busted there doing fucking... What? Bro, you look like an artist on house arrest. What'd you guys do for Easter, man? We had fun, though. Thank you for inviting me, bro. It was fun.

I wish I had the invite. That's cool. That's a good point. Damn, dude. I forgot to invite Chappelle. I ain't got no food, no kettlebells. You're losing weight, though, dog. I broke my jump rope, though. You did?

Damn, how'd you break a jump rope? Why you gotta ask did you did you would you do it and you stepped on it no I did not step on it no but please just snap elaborate more because suddenly I'm off the hook for not being able to fucking handle that hike when a large black man breaks a jump rope suddenly I look like fucking Lewis and Clark bar over here what happened man yeah i was jumping outside yesterday and the shit snapped on me bro i got so pissed and i had to go for a walk damn they're in jump rope jump ropes are hard to break man yeah all right okay well like i had clipped it once and then i was like oh shit or whatever blah clipped it once, and then I was like, oh, shit, or whatever, blah, blah, blah.

But I kept jumping, and then it was like. You got to tape it back together or use a lighter and put it back together? Is it plastic or not? Is it one of them plastic ones? You could tie that bitch off. One of the real thin ones? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you could tie that.

You could tie it off, but then you have to duck down when you jump, and that shit is invisible. Or what you do is just don't use the handle. Just keep that one like this. Yeah. Your neck would be sore, yeah you're gonna work out in yeah your neck to be so over what do you do kat absolutely nothing what did you see the family anything uh no everyone's back in the bay you guys don't celebrate easter uh not really we do for the kids but since it's quarantined nobody's going out. Wow. Do you do anything, Nick?

I prepped for an episode of This Past Weekend, recorded an episode of This Past Weekend, and then edited and posted an episode of This Past Weekend, and then I went to bed. Thanks, Theo. It's the Lord's Day. He is risen. He is risen. I went to Brendan's for us. And you didn't

bring any of your Easter pizza? You represent everybody. I should have brought him some pizza. I felt horrible about that. Chin, did you do anything? Sadly, I just stayed home too, like Kat. Damn, really? Yeah, we don't always celebrate Easter.

So Easter's not an Asian holiday? I don't think so. Do you guys celebrate it? It's a Catholic thing. It's a religious holiday. Yeah. Like a Christian Catholic thing? Catholic, yeah.

But I mean, a lot of people celebrate. In Mexico, they don't even celebrate it's a catholic it's a religious holiday yeah so like a christian catholic catholic yeah christ but i mean a lot of people sell it but in mexico they don't even celebrate it well they celebrate it but they don't celebrate it with like the easter bunny and stuff right i don't think so isn't that crazy i didn't know that that they don't celebrate they don't have they they don't do like the easter bunny and stuff in mexico i don't think they just don't have an animal uh i think i don't maybe they might not. They probably have bunnies there because they have bunnies getting in the desert. I think theirs is armadillos. Yeah. And no kid wants to eat something left behind armadillo.

Can't trust armadillos. Chocolate armadillo. I'm not happy yet. I'll have a small one, but I'm only having one piece. Brandon, I'm still shocked that you're drawing. Really? It was good. When I first was finding the kit,

I used to do all the designs for the shirts. Really? I used to draw all the shirts, yeah, for years. Two, three years. Damn. Easter customs in Mexico. This blew my mind because you'd think Mexico, Christian, you'd think a lot of, you'd think the Easter bunny, man.

Yeah. This is written in Wingdings font. Yeah, I don't know why I did that. No, it's not your fault, man. It's somebody who wrote this site. Can we complain? Is there a thing to email him? Contact.

Yeah, Easter's probably the worst holiday, huh? You think? I love Easter, man. I was bummed I didn't get to go home. I wanted to go home, but I think everybody just, people aren't doing big get-togethers or anything. People were doing crawfish, man. I was bummed I didn't get to go home. I wanted to go home, but I think everybody just, people aren't doing like big get-togethers or anything. People were doing crawfish, though. They had like a little bit of crawfish.

And they did Easter egg hunt, but not like everybody didn't come over. I think people were just kind of scared. Have you started wearing a mask around town? I wore a mask when I went to the grocery. They said, you have to now. You have to get in certain places, you have to. To get in here, you have to. It does say that on the door.

That's gonna haunt us on the insurance issue. But, yeah, because none of us have one. It does say that on the door. Yeah. But these were all pre-recorded in when?

February? Yeah. Yeah, this is Easter. We're talking about Easter last year. Yeah, last year. You know how hard it is to pretend that I went over to Brendan's for Easter this year when it hasn't even happened for another six weeks?

Those pictures were photoshopped. It's tricky. That video looks so real. I know. Yeah. It's crazy what they can do nowadays. What else happened? I can't believe you guys didn't do anything, huh?

You didn't do anything, Kat? You didn't do anything, Cat? You didn't do anything, Chappelle? No. I honestly forgot it was Easter, to be honest. What the fuck? That's fair. All the days are kind of the same. Dude, I was watching John Wick.

I'd never seen it before, so that's what I did. Yeah, it's a two-hour film, man. But I watched it on three. There's still another 22 hours. That's six hours. Yeah. It was good. I liked it.

I only saw the first one. Is he still killing bitches because his dog died? No, but watch two and three, though. You should watch it. Book of Eli is good. Have y'all seen that movie? I haven't. Oh, Book of Eli is good.

If you like that, it's kind of about Easter a little bit. It's about Easter? It's about, like, a little bit. A blind man in Easter? Like, vaguely. Uh, I don't, is the guy blind? Yeah, he's blind. He's something like that.

I'll have to watch it again. I've never seen that movie. Yeah, he looks blind in the picture. He looks blind in the picture. I have a friend that's blind.

He said it's not that bad. Oh my God. He did. I mean, that sucks. Has he always been blind? Yeah, he's been blind forever. He probably says

it's kind of nice. He said it's, yeah, it might just be his disposition. He's kind of a chill guy. He's just a positive guy. nice. He said it's, yeah, it might just be his disposition. He's kind of a chill guy. He's just a positive guy. Yeah.

If you're like, oh, fuck, I got to stay busy and you're blind, then I bet it would be like fucking, you know. A nightmare. Yeah. It'd be like, yeah, it'd be like, yeah, like, yeah, just be insane. What's this little third strap say? Everything would seem like that hike I was on. That hike ruined you.

Just imagine somebody taunting you from 30 feet ahead of you comfortably and you're just wandering through the woods like fucking Elizabeth Smart, dude, not sure where you're going.

I thought Theo was blind. Not sure how this ends. Not sure how this ends. And sometimes he'd throw a little, he'd throw a little, a sugar baby. Yeah,

sometimes a sugar baby. I'd encourage him up the mountain with sugar babies. Yeah, dude. He little a sugar baby yeah some of the sugar baby i'd encourage him up the mountain with sugar yeah dude he had a sugar baby and sometime it was even one of those uh butterscotch them are my favorite yeah those are my favorite and look dude one time he tried to throw one down the ground and he accidentally threw two and he went and picked one up i'm like what the fuck, dude? Oh, wait, that was mine.

Trying to keep you motivated, dog. Yeah, bro. Trying to get you up that damn mountain. But we made it, though, dog. We made it, dude. We made it.

Who's this young lady right here? She's got a Kingit or Stingit for us. Hey, guys. We got a quick Kingit or Stingit for you.

Easter egg painting. Yay or nay. We had a competition in our house and we'd really love for you to weigh in and tell us which one is your favorite. Culture Corner, your opinion matters too. I opted for that Joe Exotic theme. Oh shit. Those are dope.

I got that Joe Exotic and that James Gerson hitter. Wow. And my brother opted for Trump and that COVID killer. Oh, wow. Let us know what you think. Gang gang, buzz buzz. Oh, wow.

Damn. Now they can draw. Yeah, that's good, man. That COVID one was probably my favorite. Really? That's pretty creative. You think? Let me see him one more time.

That James Gerritsison's fucking savage bro that james garrison is next level dog a little snitch yeah man that donald trump is fantastic trump is good covet is good covet's good covet is real good yeah and i even like that basic duck right there that duck looks like she skipped over that one yeah she did she did i like that one that little pond thought right there. Yeah. That is, that little fucking white bread fucking succulent. Yeah.

That little Darkwing Duck side piece. Yeah, dude. That little fucking light wing fuck right there. All right, let's vote then. Let's take the King of the Sting one out of it. Obviously, we all love that one. Okay. Let the Sting one out of it. Obviously, we all love that one. So take that one out of it. Good call.

So you have the Darkwing Duck side piece. You got the Trump. Then you got the two fucking Joe exotics. And COVID. And COVID. Okay, I'll just... Do y'all know which I'll pick? Yeah, I knew immediately.

Okay. Really? What? What do you got? Fucking homie on the jet ski. That one's too fire. That one's also the most difficult, I knew immediately. Really? What? What do you got? Fucking homie on the jet ski. That one's too fire. That one's also the most difficult, I think. That's James Garrison right there.

And that's James Garrison, beautiful. Joe Exotic one's pretty good. Beautiful man right there. Single guy. Single as fuck. Just as that lemur. Yeah. Well, yeah.

He had that pawn shop and had one lemur. He had that bootleg lemur, and that's why he ratted everybody out, allegedly. Someone did him wrong on the lemurs. I'm going James Garrison as well, man. That thing just shook me. I'm going to go with the COVID one. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to have to go with James, too.

Wow. I think she did better artistically, but his was more original. Yeah, that's a good point. Once you start thinking of why they did it or what's going on. Yeah, because he's not the most popular character either in Joe Exotic. That's a unique take.

That Trump one is good. Yeah, it is. But that part of Joe Exotic is one of the best parts. Oh, yeah. When they play Eye of the Tiger? No one knows why that happened. It was random. It was random as fuck.

One of the craziest things I've heard about the whole Joe Exotic thing now is that the producer was, and you heard this too, Nick. You talked to. I talked to a bunch of those people. Yeah, I guess the producer, Eric Good, who made the Tiger King documentary, he was giving drugs and alcohol to all the people he was interviewing. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. A lot of them were in recovery. They fell off the wagon and he got a bunch of information out of them.

Sounds like there's a bunch of sketchy stuff involved that no one really wants to say. Sounds like he did his job. It sounds like at every level of this entire thing, somebody was screwing somebody over. Yeah, it's a scam. The whole thing is a scam. It's like a pyramid scam. I told you that one dude, the nanny, that's not real. Her boyfriend was there. They paid her. that's crazy faked it all all right i got james

garrison we got two for james garrison i got corona nick chin definitely james garrison wow four for james garrison now i had trump immediately wow trump once again yeah that one is good eggs are fucking tough to draw and they're all tiny you gotta paint them too yeah your big ass hand it's a beast you gotta get one of them big stretch eggs man they make ostrich the big ostrich eggs yeah fuck that's a good idea you could really they're more different and here's comes a young man here comes joe exotics third what's up guys it's your boy nick rodrig, a.k.a. Nicky Rod. And I got a King of the Year sticker for y'all.

Getting a puppy during quarantine. Make the commitment or not to. Oh, he's cute as fuck. Nicky Rod, that's a nice animal right there. And what is that animal? That is a Frenchie. Yep, French Bulldog. And what is that animal? That is a Frenchie. Yep. French Bulldog.

Bulldog, huh? Looks like a Frenchie mix, though, yeah? It looks like a little deer, like a fat baby deer. Looks like a thick-ass baby deer. Yeah, bro. You might have a fucking deer. You might have bought a reindeer on accident. Bro, now that's a pet.

If you want to get wild during the teen, bro, bust out fucking one of Santa's little helpers, dude. Yeah, paint his nose red. Paint that juicy-ass nose red. Yeah, bro. Paint an animal's nose red and fucking see what's up, man. Dude, he's cute as fuck. I'm a king getting a puppy because you got nothing else to do. Might as well train that thing.

That's a good point, man. And you got a buddy that'll sleep with you. That shit would be dope. I'm surprised you don't get a dog cat um no i mean no i like animals but after the quarantine as long as you keep the animal and you're continuously taking care of them that's great but i have a feeling people are going to give back those quarantine animals really Yeah, you're probably right. Really? Yeah, when people start getting back to their lives. Because the only reason why a lot of people want animals now is because they have nothing to do.

Damn. They're just using the animals. Yeah. It's like one big Tiger King. It's like everybody's Joe Exotic. Hopefully they don't shoot in the face. Hopefully. Yeah, Joe Exotic killed those tigers.

Do you see the bonus episode? I haven't seen it yet. Is it good? They talk about how he killed the tigers. Like, healthy tigers, but he needed the space, so he just called him out to the cage and shot him in the head they have video of it or no it's alleged i think they have video of it but he admitted to it in jail when he was on the jail call he admitted to it what's interesting is they had like the five main characters and joe mckale was the host and he asked all of them goes should joe exotic be he asked all of them, goes, should Joe Exotic be in jail?

All of them, including the people who were close to him, were like, yes. He did some horrible stuff, man. Damn. All of them. Even people who defend him, they're like, he should be in jail. Shit. I got to watch that, man. Because what is Joe McHale doing with it?

He's a host. But what is it, like an after show or something? It's an after show, yeah. And he's the host, what is it like an after show or something after show yeah and he's the host but it's all facetime but you know they've been better if it was in person like a real love and hip-hop reunion they just fought and shit it's like a live tiger dude was james garrison on there uh he wasn't on there some people declined the interview but like the main people were his little thought side piece with the missing teeth. He has a grill now. Oh, yeah.

He has teeth fixed. And he has a fiance. Yeah, he wasn't gay. No, he wasn't gay. That's what I'm saying, man. I've argued this for a decade. You called that from the jump. Yeah, about a quarter of a decade now I've been arguing this.

Listen, I tell you right now, don't put me around Tiger because obviously there's something magical. Because them boys wanted to play with those Tigers so bad they started sucking dick and acting gay don't bring around the tigers bro i don't know what's gonna happen to you the tigers has nothing to do with it dude it's the drugs all right i don't think so dude your juicy ass is in front of me and you put that majestic tiger dude i don't know what's gonna happen with this bro i never wanted don't wear those short shorts you want on the hike, bro. That you told me to bring. That you freaking used me. Let me see this dude. He said debate club, but this is a king of your stand. It's drug-induced homosexuality is what I've been talking about for a quarter of a decade.

And you freaks don't know what's going on. You called it. You called it from the job. He did call it. What did Theo do when he was on drugs? He's like. He called all of it. He's like, nah nah that boy ain't gay he's on some drugs man bro i'm just telling you this is he's gay no he's not you're not gay if you're high and you meet a

guy off the 101 and suck his dick for matt i would never suck a man defensive much okay i would never suck a man's dick. Defensive much? Okay. I would never suck some person's dick. If I'm sucking anybody's dick, it's my own dick. You idiot. Okay. First of all, and you can write that down. And second of all, I'm just saying it. At a certain point with drug use, there gets a point where it doesn't matter what's going on. And it's not gay.

It's just drug-induced homosexuality. I hear you, brother. Loud and clear. So at 2 a.m., everybody's buddies. 3 a.m., there's not gay. It's just drug-induced homosexuality. I hear you, brother. Loud and clear. So at 2 a.m., everybody's buddies. 3 a.m., there's still drugs. There's not as many buddies around. 4 a.m., dude. Dicks and butts.

There's one buddy. There's drugs. You got to get the drugs. Yeah, yeah. And you can do it by any means necessary. Everybody's looking for something warm, bro. All of a sudden, you're a man on fire, but you're sucking dick. It's different.

I'm just saying at those hours it gets different. Yeah, I feel you, dude. You know, it's that witching hour. I bet you had some good times. I never did anything, you freak. I'm just saying. I hear. Hey, Theo, look at me.

I hear you lolling. Dude, I've said it before. If I was gay, bro, I would be fucking shocked, dude. I'm saying. And I'm not calling you gay. If I saw me dating a man, I would call the police, you freak. Really? Yes, I've said it before. If I was gay, bro, I would be fucking shocked, dude. I'm saying, and I'm not calling you gay. If I saw me dating a man, I would call the police, you freak. Really?

Yes, I would. I bet you'd be pretty happy. What? You're the one who's the fucking hillside bangler who's fucking sneaking men out into the freaking soggy terrain and watching them getting stuck in mud. Okay? and then when that didn't work for you the oh I accidentally took us back to my place fucking line without keys to your car you're the one get defense about joy in his gay brothel. I'm talking about, they were on meth! What? All right, dude. Bro, I'm just saying.

It was really gay. Dude, it's not gay for high as shit and you have no money and you're in fucking Louisiana. It's a hot summer day and your shirt's off and you're convertible

and you have cheeks. All I'm saying is, dude, David Dukes is there and he's selling N-hats, and they sell out. There was two hats. People only bought two. And also, what I'm telling you right now is, you're not listening. No, again, dude.

Is that if you're going to try and molest a friend, at least be able to close the deal, bro. You can't even close the fucking deal. You got me stuck in the mud out there. Because I was all out of meth. And then I rest my case, if that's the truth, bro. Then it comes down to the drugs, man. You're right, dude.

I've said you're right since day one. Hillside Bangler. Strikes again, bro. Strikes again. Strikes again. Ran out of meth of meth so didn't get my dick sucked what do you got nick yeah homie over there trying to light a butterscotch up in a crack pipe trying to melt butterscotch dude you ever had butterscotch in your veins hey what up theo what up brendan

my name's jesse i'm from college station, Texas, but I'm currently driving across country, man. Thank you. Moving out of here to California during these corona times. Wow. This is the most boring fucking drive ever, bro. Yes. Anyway, I keep seeing all these signs, so I got a debate club for you. What do you guys think about these roadside attractions?

Keep seeing these billboards for something called The Thing. Some shit about some boy wolf. Some other shit looks like an alien. I don't even know, man. But love the content, fellas. Love watching the podcast. Also, Theo, if you got any advice for a southern man moving out here to the California, let me know

what's up, man. Hey, guys, y'all take it easy. Keep doing good work. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. That's at Texas A&M. Aggieland, bro. Have you been there? College Station. I got a cousin. My cousin goes to school there. He's an adult now, but he went to school there.

If I could do it all over again, I would have played college ball at Texas A&M. Really? Yep. I had the chance and didn't go. That would have been the place. Why? What makes you say that? It's just such a dope college town for college football.

God, man. I played there twice, and it was just magical. Damn. So big. The freaking stadium's so big. It's just like a sea of people. Damn. Yeah.

Yeah, they don't get a lot of credit. They don't really get a lot of focus because they're over there. Because Texas has so many schools. But they were a big dog for a while. And they have the Florida State coach now. They're going to be back for sure. Who went? Did Dak Prescott go there?

No. He went to Ohio. No, he went to Mississippi State. Oh, yeah, that's right. Come on. Manziel went there. Manziel went there. Manziel went there. They have some ballers.

The receiver for Tampa Bay went there. Von Miller? Yes. There you go. Jimbo Fisher? Ryan Tannehill. Yeah, Jimbo Fisher's the coach now. Oh, okay.

No, they've had some ballers, man. It was my favorite place to play. And when I played there. Mike Evans went there. That's right. Yeah, that's why I said the receiver from Tampa. He's a baller. Oh, yeah.

Dude, him and Tom Brady? Come on, son. That's right. Yeah, that's why I said the receiver from Tampa. He's a baller. Oh, yeah. Dude, him and Tom Brady? Come on, son. That could be wild. When I played there twice, and when I played there, I remember President Bush would show up. No way. Because there would be Secret Service there. I'm like, what the fuck? Because we'd do a walkthrough the night before.

And we'd get there. I'm like, why Secret Service? And President Bush was out there watching us. Damn. A little snitch giving away our plays. Was he? Yeah. I wouldn't be shocked, man, if he was selling the plays.

We lost in overtime. Did y'all? Yep. Damn. Bobby Purify fumbled the ball. Who was Bobby Purify? Running back. And where is he now?

Can we see where he's at? He's in Colorado Springs, I think. He is? I don't know what he's doing. Did you play with him? Yeah. He's our starting running back. So you played fullback, right?

Yeah. Damn, that's crazy, man. So when fullback, you have to block a lot, huh? Yeah. He's our starting running back. So you played fullback, right? Yeah. Damn, that's crazy, man. So when fullback, you have to block a lot, huh? Yeah. Block and catch. Is it fun blocking or not? Not really. I mean, you're just getting CT all the time, dude.

Yeah. You're literally the guy where they're like, hey, run into that guy so this guy can look cool. Dude, you were like on the hunt for CT because it's like if you didn't get it in football, you're like, oh, I'm going to go find it somewhere. I was like, I mean mean you just keep traveling i was mr ct because i was playing fullback and running into large men that was my job and then yeah yeah and my and my history is the gay one that's the crazy part of suddenly yeah bobby purifying what happened he took his own life no hell no jailed for admitting to twelve thousand dollar theft he's the nicest guy, man. Was he?

Oh, such a good dude. $12,000. Anybody could try and steal that, though. Such a good dude. You know what I'm saying? I mean, is that jailable? He'd probably release now because of... Yeah, man, I was Mr. CT because football,

and I was the captain of a special team, so I was the wedge breaker, so I'd run in and break the wedge on kickoff. Yeah. And I went from that to UFC. They got rid of wedge breakers because it was so dangerous. It was so dangerous. I was the guy.

I was Mr. Wedge Breaker. And then I used to light dudes up, and the team was like, oh, that's what you want to do? Then they'd put big tackles there, so I'd have to run into the big tackles. The biggest white dudes. Damn, dude. And now you're doing misguided hiking out there. Now I'm a hiking tour guy now he's a tour guide if you finish you get butterscotch what else i like it man brendan's butterscotch getaways

dude i can market that yeah dude should we do a little Sink My Ink? Hell yeah. I'm about to get tatted up Thursday. Are you really? Yeah. I saw you looking for a tat guy. I might get a tat. Dude, I got a guy.

I got the guy. Here's Eddie Bravo, huh? I got the guy. Oh. Hold on, bro. He looks like Eddie Bravo with my hair. Yeah, bro. And Theo's forehead. This looks like hety Bravo, dude.

First of all, how is this not Hetty Bravo? Hey, what's the king of singing at Flat Earth? Bro, yeah. What's the king of singing at fucking rare youtube links hey king you're seeing it 5g cause corona yeah well i would definitely people should talk i i'm not i wouldn't be shocked if it did no it didn't it didn't but there's some people that say it did brendan let's hear what uh it's only in five? Oh my god, dude. Damn.

Kainter singing, am I Eddie Bravo? Yeah, let's see what this guy's... Sure, Todd. Goddamn, it's windy. Got a little sink my ink for you boys. Got the good old straight mom. I'm confused.

It's pretty badass. And then I got this guy. Little camel tug. Respect. Can't go wrong with that. And last but not least. You got the old hamstring. Now, in these parts, we say pull up, pull up.

Rah, rah. Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. Bus, bus, bus. Rah, rah, rah, rah, smoothie, baby. Great line, by the way. Thank you. Have big. Yes. Yeah, great tattoos, man.

Does anybody get straight mom? Straight mom? I'm confused. Straight mom. Where was it? On his calf? Was there a rumor that his mom wasn't straight in the town? Straight mom.

Straight mommy? Straight mom. Straight mom. His calf? His calf's of a mom. Mom upside down is wow. Straight mom. That's a confusing one.

He said he's like a walking dad joke of tattoos, so there's something there. Straight mom. That's a confusing one. He said he's like a walking dad joke of tattoos, so there's something there. Straight mom. Damn. I mean, that's okay. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T-M-O-M. Straight mom. Is that how you spell straight? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I knew it was. Yeah, dude. You were waiting for the answer to calm down we got that Brendan peeked up and was like straight mom I don't know what that is

straight mom on his calf the funniest one is the hamstring the piggy with the hamstring straight mom and then the camel toe camel toe yeah camel toe. Yeah, camel toe is great.

That hamstring is unbelievable. Not the best artwork in the Caribbean, you know? But you got, I mean, yeah, a lot of artists down there are artists that are probably on the run from stuff. I mean, once you get down to the islands, Key West, Caribbean. I mean, the Caribbean is great unless you want something. Then you have to wait forever to get it. Like, I remember trying to get a fish dinner over there, and they had to go wake the man up. They put us in the restaurant,

and we had to sit in there for 40 minutes, and we got the chef. Then they come back. That's island life, bro. Dude, it was two hours and 10 minutes before we ate, bro. Dude, you ever been to Costa Rica? I was fucking furious, dude. You ever been to Costa Rica? Huh? You ever been to Costa Rica? Yeah. It's filled with wh bro. Dude, it was two hours and ten minutes before we ate, bro. Dude, you ever been to Costa Rica? I was fucking furious, dude. You ever been to Costa Rica?

Huh? You ever been to Costa Rica? Yeah. Just filled with whores. Is it? Oh, dude. I walked into a bar. It was just whore island.

You'd love it, Nick. You just... Never had a prostitute? It was like a shark frenzy. Just grabbing my dick. Oh. Yeah, it was terrible. What was this guy's issue? Pr is legal in costa rica that's why brendan it's not even someone say it's the funnest time

then you go on a crocodile tour dude dick suck in a crocodile tour that's living brother then go zip lining no naked no dude costa rica living. You need to get your mind out of the gutter, brother. You need to get to church, man, and get your act together. Yeah, you're right.

I like that guy's tats. What's this? Yeah. Great tats, man. We're going to be thinking about the straight mom for the rest of the month. Yeah. Tell him to let us know.

What's a, what's Aaron Rogers. What? Hey, what's up, Vernon? What's up? I like that shirt.

Thick boy, chew toy. This is Brad coming to you from Columbus, Ohio. Thick boy, chew toy? I have a question for you. First, if you want to sync my ink, this is my newest tattoo right here. It's a little fresh froggy hitter. Got it about three weeks ago before everything started shutting down. Pretty much healed up now.

Got some leg hair growing back. But this just wasn't any normal tattoo this is a get what you get tattoo so pretty much had a gumball machine full of different designs in there i'll pop this little frog that's the design that they had for me so what do you guys think can you understand it get what you get tattoos gang gang, buzz, buzz. Daddy's out. Love you guys. Love you. Respect, bro. Wow. Dude, get what you get. That'd be fun.

You know, Chin's going to get a neck tattoo. His birthday's Friday. Are you? And he's always wanted a neck tattoo. So me and Chin have matching tattoos. And when we were in Dublin, him, my brother, and me got matching tattoos. Chin wanted to get on his neck. And the dude goes, what?

The artist goes, you want to do what? He goes, I want the tattoo on my neck. He goes, dude, for your first one, I ain't doing your neck. He refused to do it. I know. That was messed up. Wow. But I get Yakuza shit.

Go Yakuza, bro. But we found a guy who's willing to do it. Chin just said, you said you decide what you want on your neck? I'm still figuring out, but I think I know. Do you know? A fish. I don't like to tell people my tattoos. A fish?

A fish. What do you want on it? Like a goldfish? What do you think? A koi fish? No, just a fish that's swimming like this tell people my tattoos. A fish. A fish. What do you want? Like a goldfish? What do you think? A koi fish? No, just a fish that's swimming like this. Oh, yeah. I like it.

Like a barracuda? No, no. Just a regular fish. Like a piranha? Huh? A regular fish, man. He just said a regular fish. You keep making fucking up.

Like a catfish or like a dinner fish, you idiot. I need some detail here, man. Like a dinner fish. A koi would be sick, but it's just too small. You want like a trout? A koi would be too much detail. You thinking like a nice clean trout I need some detail here, man. A koi would be sick, but it's just too small. You want like a trout? You thinking like a nice clean trout? A black trout, maybe? Solid black trout?

Mahi-mahi? You want a black fish? Maybe. Oh yeah, black fish. Hell yeah. Dude, I could see you having a mahi-mahi on the side of your neck. Dude, get a swordfish on your neck. Ooh, get the barramundi. Australian fish? Dude, get a swordfish on your neck. Ooh, get the, get the barramundi.

Ooh, Australian fish. Dude, get that big old grouper on your fish sucking on your throat. Too big. Ooh, get a sucker fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that tank cleaner.

Yeah. What's that one fish? Gefilte fish. Gefilte fish. Jewish fish. Oh, dude, get a Siamese fighting fish. I saw those.

Those actually look cool. That's what you should get. The tails are all whippy. Whippy are yeah and have have the fucking the fins like yes i saw them they look cool i like that idea that sounds like a really neat idea dude you ever got two siamese fish together i haven't dude it's straight up fish cock fighting what oh you put them they don't like each other if they're around to the same fish why would you do it? Because I was a young kid with no money. I needed entertainment. Nah, man.

Yeah, I had a fish fighting thing. No money, but you have two exotic fish? Hey, not that exotic, dude. Dude, where did you grow up? You have two Japanese fighting fish, bro? Dude, I ran a pretty rough scam. Kids paid a lot of money to see those Siamese fish die. Yeah, but I'm just saying, dude, how are you able to happen upon these rare fish?

They're not rare, dude. They were in every fucking fish place you went into. Are they really? They sell them at Walmart. We would combine them in Walmart. It was regretful now, but, yeah, we would go in high school. We'd put fish together, and they'd kill each other in the kitchen. But also awesome because they really go at it, man.

We'd bet on them. Yeah, that's what we'd do. We'd bet on them. Candy. Walmart. Dude, people give so much shit to Walmart. Walmart's fucking amazing, bro. You can go in Walmart and be in there for 20 hours if you want.

You can stay the night. Isn't that crazy? You could be in there for 20 hours. Also, they have everything. Have fun. Do, you know. Guns. Go shooting. Snacks. Ride a Also, they have everything. Have fun. Guns. Go shooting.

Snacks. Ride a bike. Get a plant. Return it. Eat lunch. Eat lunch. You have nice lunch there. Eat lunch, bro.

There's a lot you can do. And here's a... This is related. Okay, here we go with the young man right here. What up, guys? We have a dime piece in the background. Elsa from Frozen. man right here. What up, guys? What up? Dime piece in the background. Elsa from Frozen. But anyways, I got a debate club for your

asses. Walmart or Target? I mean, you know, Walmart. He goes on. He does. Does he have some good points or? Nick stopped it for a reason.

I got clowned as a kid in elementary school because my mom called it tarjay. Like fancy. Yeah. I kept calling it tarjay. I got clowned on my. I could see that. That's an escort calling Nick back. It was actually the place where I got that couch.

I thought I was missing pieces. They were all there. Oh, yeah. We do have a new couch. I didn't notice. Oh, I didn't even notice. Is it nicer for you guys? It is.

It's comfy. It looks comfy. Perfect size, too, Nick. Good call on not getting black. Yep. That's all good, bro. All the time. I've been sitting in all black this whole time, and I wear all black.

I know. I wore the blue shirt today thinking, like, oh, okay, I'll switch it up all black this whole time and I wear all black. I know. I wore the blue shirt today thinking like, oh, okay, I'll switch it up. Are they ever going to replace Derek? I know. People were like, yeah, are you guys going to get a replacement for Derek or it's just Kat? Sorry to use your joke again. Sorry to double down on your joke. That's what we do on this show. That's what we do on this show.

And you're rocking the blue Cortez, dog. Yeah, my dad that was in prison for 17 years, he got me these. Okay. Did he get busted for fighting fish? No, he got for drugs. Did he really? What kind of drugs was it? My dad was around when the crack epidemic was going on.

So he was slinging that crack? So he was slinging that crack. Was he a gang member? He wasn't really into the gangs. He was more so into the money, the drug deal. And how much time did he get? He did, so he has a crazy story. So he did 13 years.

He studied law and got himself out of prison. Wow. Yeah. Smart dude then. Yeah, because he got life for attempted murder, but he didn't do it. Yeah. But still, dude, I'm saying, then. Yeah, because he got life for attempted murder, but he didn't do it. But still did what I'm saying, bro.

Yeah, so he studied law. Do enough drugs. Found out the system fucked up, and not only did my dad get released, but a bunch of other inmates got released as well. Tight move, Papa Chappelle. Because I guess when you get life, someone specific has to sign off for it, and that person didn't. Wow. So my dad caught that. Wow, that for it, and that person didn't. Wow.

So my dad caught that. Wow, that's brilliant, man. That's cool. Are you close with your dad now? Now, yeah. We're rebuilding the relationship. Does he still do drugs or anything? Does he still do drugs?

He's clean now? Yeah, he's clean now. Yeah, he's doing good. Was he using drugs or he was just selling drugs? No, he was selling it. Yeah. Yeah, he wasn't using it. Don't get high on your own supply, bro.

Come on, man. It wasn't about that. Yeah. I mean, there just wasn't a lot of stuff for black there wasn't a lot of stuff for black men to sit they didn't have a lot of business opportunity though you know you got it you know what i'm saying like at that i don't think when i was growing up they didn't have like a lot of black guys that were like doctors in our town and stuff like that or like business owners yeah i think drugs was like an easy thing you could sell you know oh he said when the crack epidemic hit, he said it was crazy.

It was insane. Yeah, he said you had 10 houses and like seven out of the 10 houses, either someone's doing it or selling it. Damn. That's how crazy it is. If that's what you're surrounded by, you can get involved in the business. Yeah, what are you going to be just somebody that's just smoking crack and not a businessman?

Fuck that. What else you got, Nate? What else you got? Get us out of this racism world. Continue with some debate club. Wait, what did the last guy want? Oh, Walmart or Target. Oh, Target's a little fancier. I'm more of a Target guy, as my mom called it.

But Target's more for women, I feel like. Women more go to Target. Anybody could go to Walmart. You can go to Walmart to get a boat. You can go to Walmart to get a Bible. I feel like more meth addicts would dig walmart it's more kind of like uh it's a free-for-all yeah and walmart's the kind of place if you're in a smaller area like and you go to the walmart it's kind of like something to do they're all the same also walmart's are just kind of flea markets got their shit together you know what i'm saying yeah it's i like the clothing section

i always kind of liked it they always had like florida state gear and stuff they always had like kind of a couple of colleges and stuff yeah they do like at christmas you go get you get your brother or sister you can always get an oklahoma sooner shirt yeah yeah crimson tie yeah you can always get some random teams yeah you can get hayes socks. I always liked that. I like both, but I'm more of a Target man. Really? Yeah. My son loves Target. Yeah, I guess Target looks a little bit more organized.

It's smaller, I feel like. It's smaller. Walmart's massive, man. You get exhausted walking that thing. You can get dehydrated in there. You'll find people just fucking passed out. People unconscious. People sitting in lawn chairs.

Yeah. That's one thing I do like. You can get to, like, the second or third realm in there. And you can, they'll have somebody fucking. Talking about Walmart Beyond. Yeah, dude. They'll have somebody fucking, like, brewing their own water back there somewhere. You know?

Or their own beer. Somebody literally cooking steaks on a grill back there. Yeah, I like that. Jesus, dude. Bro, I worked at Walmart. Did you? For, like, a week. Yeah.

Was it a nightmare? Dude, it was crazy. Because they do, like, before every shift, they do this, like, weird was it a nightmare? dude it was crazy because they do like before every shift they do this like weird chant I can't tell it really? yeah it's like a secret

but they do this like weird chant I don't know it's awkward but yeah I lasted about a week really? yeah what didn't you like about it

now why'd you only last a week? I mean I was just fucking I was like what the fuck am I in it was I don't know it just seemed too cultish to me I was gonna say it's more of a Walmart cult yeah that's what it seemed like I was just fucking, I was like, what the fuck am I in? Like, it was, I don't know, it just seemed too cultish to me.

I was going to say it's more of a Walmart cult. Yeah, that's what it seemed like. And I was just like, I got to get out of here. What? How could you get out of there, dude? It takes forever to get out of there. Here's the thing, though, is that Walmart, I love Walmart. I think if I could go back in time and work somewhere, I would work at Walmart for a couple months.

Really? I loved it, man. I'd work at Home Depot. I could see you at home depot yeah with that orange cape on yeah and you eat the churros you're supposed to be working sit on my break bro yeah bro you can't start with your break, dude. I'm going to break first. And then figure it out from there. He wants the job for the food. What the fuck?

Dude, Costco too. Costco has some good food, man. The pizza and churros. I don't go to Costco, but I do sometimes. I used to go to Walmart and they had good shrimp scampi. I always thought that. Costco's an elite club. I can get you in. Can you?

Yeah, I can get you in. Plus one. I'd go in. Alright, I'll take Nick. Thanks. Walmart allows people to camp in their parking lot for like travelers and stuff. I did it when I moved out here in my car. Wow. Wow.

That's sad. Is it? Look at me now. Yeah, that's true. LA story over there. Yeah, and you didn't have any advice for the guy who called and asked for fucking suggestions. Walmart, if you're looking for a place to sleep, Walmart. I love that. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that either. I've always wondered, too. I'm the dude who's like, oh, I'll go park in a scary area and just be real quiet. Yeah, I just parked in front of a house and got to figure it out. But I like that. I once slept in a Hooters parking lot. Did you? Yeah. I could see you doing that, out. But I like that. I once slept in a Hooters parking lot. Did you? Yeah.

I could see you doing that, though. In an Impala. Really? Yeah, and I had a bloody nose. For what? Were they doing like a grand opening or something in the morning? No. And you got in a fist fight to see who would be the first one in?

Yeah. Would you have a bloody nose? I don't know. My nose wouldn't stop bleeding. I'll never forget that. Bro, probably because of any one of your life paths, bro. Football. Like, at that point, the CT has to fucking really be setting in

when you're sitting outside of a hooter for the nosebleed. Or it was trying to drain out. Oh, that's true. What do you got, man? Brennan's like, I'm going to block it in. Go on, Brennan Shaw. I've got that debate cup for you.

Fruit by the foot. Fruit roll up. Gang, gang. Fuck your cuss. Out. Fuck your cuss. Damn, bro. That's so aggressive.

Well, second cousin is legal. First cousin is what is not legal. And we do have to get that out there because there's a lot of misinformation. Is that the rule in Louisiana? It's the rule everywhere. First cousin is what is not legal. And we do have to get that out there because there's a lot of misinformation. Is that the rule in Louisiana? It's the rule everywhere. First cousin. You look this up too, Nick?

Can you legally have sex with your first cousin? I know the answer is no, but we can do it for everyone. Yeah, the answer is no. I mean, I don't need this information. But you do, though, brother. You never know, Chabelle. Yeah, especially when you look like everyone in your stories. So you sure better start to fucking have some information to support your sex life here, Chappelle.

Okay? In some states, sex between first cousins is prohibited. Mm-hmm. It says some states. Yeah. Legality of incest. And look at that color chart. Let. Legality of incest. And look at that color chart.

Let's get to the color chart. We don't want to trick Brendan with anything. Literary. Not. Hey, why Theo knows the strict details on sleeping with your cousin? I have no idea. Are you going to blame it on meth again? Dude, when you're on meth, again, dude, you don't know what you can do when you're high. Your cousin's there.

You're running low on product. And you fucked your cousin, dude. Drug-induced incestuality. Bro, I'm telling you it's how it starts. Dude, you got to start taking some responsibility for your choices, bro. Quit blaming it on them drugs. You sound like Joe Exotic right now. That's true, dude.

Now, I'm just saying that there are— Dude, some places you get the death penalty. Yeah. That's that Middle East area. And also Africa. Middle East and some parts of Africa, it looks like... It's frowned upon. Zanzibar, where is that?

What about in America? Can we just look at America? America's kind of orange and red on some of the West Coast. Or just legal... Yeah, let's even just... Let's just go back to whatever that first thing was. It says it's about incest, if we can. Incest laws and charges.

The crime of incest is committed. Oh, we know what happens. Is it a crime between adults? What about that? Almost all states criminalize incest between adult relatives. Some legal scholars have argued that incest laws as applied to adults should be rethought. I could see that.

I think a lot of it, too, because if you get with a family member and you have a baby, it has a high likelihood of being a fucked up baby, too. That's one of the main reasons. That's one of the main reasons, man. In the United States, what does that say, Nick? Second cousin. Are legally allowed to marry in every state. Praise God, brother. So you're in the clear, brother.

Well, I'm just saying because here's one of the things is some people, they don't live, they used to not live close to anybody. Like they didn't have cars. They didn't have, so it's like you could only, you know, you're not going to walk over probably 20 miles to have sex with someone. So you got to think, and most of that's your family living close. So that's why they made the laws was because babies were coming out a little while.

Alabama allows first cousin marriage. A lot of them do. Alaska. Yes. Arizona. Yes. California. Yes. Colorado. Yes. That's disappointing, Colorado. Dude, I would not fuck my first cousin at high altitude, bro. You are really... Louisiana apparently

gets some sort of refund if you marry your first cousin wait marriage between first cousins is not allowed welcome to the future brother we are laying the path that's why theo moved to california now if i can only get my cousins to move out of here. Talking about, I'm not going to go home for Easter or this coronavirus. Or because there's a fucking strict sex legislation. There's a warrant out for your arrest for sleeping with your young cousin. What else you got, Nick?

Well, last debate club. It's a striking though. Before we do it, Nick, I want to go through and at least answer some of these people's questions because I don't think we've answered any. The guy said – Fruit by the foot or fruit roll-up. Okay. Oh, listen.

I'm more of a quality over quantity. The fruit by the foot, it's a foot fucking long roll of bullshit fruit roll-up. It's like a cheap fruit roll-up. I like that thick, stiff fruit roll-up, bro. Fuck yeah, dude. And you take it out of that package, and it's fucking tight. You roll that bitch out. And I used to roll it up.

You do like that? What the hell? What would you do? That shit would stick to the roof of your mouth like a retainer. I love that. I never had a lot. We didn't have fruit roll-ups. They were expensive, man.

They were definitely more of a higher-end treat. They were. Fruit by the foot was cheap. Oh, you could get that anywhere. You could get that on the fucking street. Yeah. You'd have a dude have seven feet of it. Fruit roll-ups always advertised there were shapes inside it that you could peel out,

and you couldn't peel that shit out. No one ever did. Yeah, you couldn't peel it out. And then you'd peel it out and be all deformed because you'd pull too hard on one end of the star. And the star would be all fucked up. Or they had the tongue tattoos. Yeah, that's right. Oh, what was that?

They had like a little imprint of like animals and stuff like that where if you keep it on your tongue for long enough, you'll get like the marking on your tongue. So it looks like a tattoo. Oh, my God. Hey, how about my son? And that sounds like a scam doesn't it it is what kid would kids will fall for fucking anything dude dude how about my son got warheads for easter oh yeah remember warheads man i don't know they still made them my son got i'm like what the fuck but then you try them there's those little bitch warheads they're not like when we were kids when we were kids we eat those warheads dude you're gonna miss them for two days oh the first batch of warheads that ever came out bro that hot batch dude one of my friends had one and he couldn't open his eyes for almost two days couldn't open his eyes we had a ton of stories like that we had to hold his eyes open to look at him those warheads were different

level something toxic remember that dude the first ones that came out somebody had one you have to split it up i remember people would split it it'd ruin your day yeah yeah it was so much fun oh yeah bro those were remember he had like a little bit of dust on the outside remember that where can we get those vintage warheads then remember remember the big jawbreakers you'd lick them so much your tongue would start to bleed. And you'd get to the middle and there'd be like some weird gushy substance. No? You never made it that far? You're a quitter.

Bro, it sounds like you got molested. This episode is disgusting, man. This whole episode has been about sex and perversion. And this is supposed to be our Easter episode? But hold on, we haven't helped anybody. Yeah, we did. The guy. I want the fucking

fruit by the foot some bullshit. Okay. I'm a fruit roll man. Okay, I'll go for fruit roll ups as well. And if I'm really feeling froggy and I want to

get savvy with it, I'm going gushers all goddamn day. I put that gush in my mouth and that thing busts in my mouth. Oof. That sweet syrup

rolls down my throat. Dude, you ain't living until you start deep throwing some gushes, bro. The grape gush? What are you saying, dude? All grape gushers look the same, dude? You need help. I can't work with this guy, man. This is too much, dude.

When does it stop, bro? When does it fucking... Dude, you're the one that made us go an hour into can I sleep with my first cousin? You think I want to be part of this? And then defended your actions. We need to let people... See, I told you, man.

It's legal, dude. I'm just saying there are certain places that have different ideas. Tell your cousin to quit emailing you, man. It's legal, dude. I'm just saying there are certain places that have different ideas. Tell your cousin to quit emailing me, dude. What else you got? No, we haven't helped anyone, okay? We've helped everybody. The guy was in the car and he wanted to know something. He was driving.

Remember? Oh, King and her Sting at Roadside Attractions. Yeah, we never fucking did that. Oh, yeah. I totally forgot about it. Dude, we never fucking did that. Oh, yeah. I totally forgot about that. Dude, roadside attractions. Dude, those are just people on meth creating up shit

to make money, dude. That's what it is. The biggest dinosaur in the world. Yeah, and they have it right there outside of, I think it's about four hours. Apparently every state has it, though.

That's the problem. Yeah, but different ones. There's more than one. Dinosaurs are everywhere. Hey, you know that you think just America had dinosaurs

oh my god bro that's crazy dude if you're one of those fucking dinosaur international dinosaur deniers dude you think just America

had dinosaurs you're an idiot man that's the oldest trick in the ignorance book dude let me tell you man roadside attractions fuck yeah dude yeah I said fuck yeah You're an idiot, man. That's the oldest trick in the ignorance book, dude. Let me tell you, man. Roadside attractions, fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah, I said fuck yeah. They make time fly by. Dude, I get myself a fucking, one of those snack-sized bags of Cheetos, and I go look at the biggest beaver in the world. That's living, brother. That is living, dude. I toss some tobacco in my lip. That's living, man.

Yeah, where else are you going to see someone with the largest jar of fucking human saliva? Dude, you pick up a Slim Jim and one of those little lot lizards? Dude, it's a good time. Bro, you got to get out there, man. Where else are you going to see somebody who fucking decapitated their own leg and turned it into a bird feeder, dude? Unless you pull off the interstate and get some damn gas, boy. Yeah. Okay? Come and go, baby. Yeah. Those come and goes are great. Yeah, dude. Unless you pull off the interstate and get some damn gas, boy. Yeah. Okay?

Come and go, baby. Yeah. Those come and goes are great. Yeah, dude. Heavy on the come, brother. This episode is disgusting. Dude, it's disgusting. No, you rub off on me. I was referencing a fucking stop place.

They get gas and Cheetos, bro. Every place you're at has Cheetos. And you said heavy on the stop. And you said heavy on the cum, dude. I love how- Heavy on the cum. Yeah, because you guys are rotting my mind in here. And Nick is doing all this shit.

No one's doing anything, dude. Both of you guys are. You spent two hours trying to figure out if you fucked your cousin or not. I don't have any first cousins. Dude, save that for your therapist, all right? The answer's nah, man. It ain't cool. You guys are-

What else you got, Nick? Can you play a gospel song or something this one's pretty wholesome king of the sting this is Dave coming from Boston had a couple throwbacks for you regarding toys Theo hate to leave you out of this I know your mother didn't love you Brendan you probably remember some of these gems. Oh, hell yeah. Fievel. Oh, I have Fievel. But I got a king in the sting for you.

Ninja Turtles. Hey. Or My Pet Monster. Oh, dude! Fuck! Oh, my God. My Pet Monster was my ultimate favorite gift as a kid. Really?

Dude, my dad got it for me. Me and my brother used to fight over that thing. It came with the chains. We lost one of the chains, so we only had one chain on. And there was a movie and a cartoon My Pet Monster. It's my favorite gift as a kid. Then I had the whole Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collection as well. I even had the blimp.

I had the blimp. They had a blimp where you fit all the action figures in it. Really? God. They don't make toys like that anymore. My favorite monster, this guy's called? Yeah, he's cool.

No, my pet monster. My pet monster. It's my favorite gift. He has the same nose as Theo. The shit was dope. Well, look, as long as I'm your second favorite monster, then I'll take that, man.

Those old school toys were dope. I actually would even, I would go back and buy some of them. Yeah, dude. I would. Actually really did look like that monster. This is the commercial? My pet monster. My pet monster. He's bigger than big.

When he fights battles, he always wins. And he's your friend, too. There's not much to do with him, as you can tell. Oh, my God. That's for whites only. There was one black kid in it. And they were chasing him. They showed up running away with it. It was somebody else's My Pet Monster. It was Get Out the prequel.

Yeah, it was. This is early Get Out. Yeah, it was. There it was. Wow. Full circle here. Full circle, man. Wow, full circle here. Full circle, man. Just like that shitty hike.

Well, do we help anyone? I feel like we helped everyone, man. Really? I honestly feel like there's so many things we didn't answer for people. Here's what I would say to the guy driving across country, man. One time I had all my cash, right? And so I stopped at a rest area. I'd been eating no-dos,

which were kind of a regional kind of upper at the time. And I put all my cash into my underpants. I said, I'm going to leave it in my car. It was my life savings. I was moving out to University of Arizona to go to college. And I forgot it was in there. I went and slept on the floor my car was my life savings i was moving out to university arizona to go to college and i forgot it was in there i went to sleep i went and slept on like the floor in this it was one of the like

biggest gas station come here you know we'll shoot your you know we'll shoot your buddy in the face you know pull over you know um like oh man i don't have a buddy, but I'll fucking stop and watch. I'm still going to check it out. Yeah. But I'll fucking buy a couple Almond Joys and watch the fun, you know? I'll buy a Scores bar and watch somebody just shine their face. Yeah, dude. Not from close up, like some creep, but I'll sit in my car and watch. So, anyway, I fell asleep in there. I fell asleep for like 40 minutes right got up forgot that all my cash

was in my underpants and it fell out of my pant leg in a gas station no like $1100 fuck so then I lost it

couldn't find it so then literally for the next two hours I'm wandering around this gas station asking people strangers if they found $1100

in cash oh my god was anyone honest huh fuck no dude so then what'd you do the rest of the way huh They found $1,100 in cash. Was anyone honest? Fuck no, dude. So then what did you do the rest of the way? Huh?

How'd you get to Arizona, playboy? I had to stop. I hadn't even gotten to El Paso yet. I had to sleep in El Paso in my car one night, and then my stepdad came and gave me gas money. Type move. When you said you were going to go to the University of Arizona, you mean hang out there? Because you sure as fuck weren't going to school

there, bro. You did not get them grades. I went for one semester, man. Bullshit. Did you really? Yeah. You're a wildcat? I went into class, man. Bear down. Yeah, man. I didn't know that. Did you guys play them? No. You guys played Colorado State, right?

Out of conference, but when I was at Colorado. Colorado State was out of conference? Yeah. What? Because they were Mountain West. And we were Big 12. I feel like every game I see at Colorado, they would play,

it would be them against Colorado State. It would be the seventh overtime. 53 to 51. Good games. Yep. The mile high showdown, son. It was always out of conference, though. Damn.

This is a little brother. We used to beat the shit out of him. Really? Every year. Still do. Who beat you guys a lot texas oklahoma who's y'all playing against major applewhite uh yeah y'all did yeah good call and vince young we played vince young and they had cedric benson and they beat us 50 to 3 in the Big 12 Championship.

Then we played Oklahoma the following year and I played against Jason White and Adrian Peterson. Both high end trophy winners. They beat us 70 to 3.

Damn. Played at Kansas City Chiefs Stadium. At halftime, do y'all still think y'all can come back? Nope. I always wondered that.

Nope. That's wild. Even the coach knew it. He's like, go out there and have some fun, I guess. I'd be that guy who's like, we Even the coach knew it. He's like, go out there and have some fun, I guess. I'd be that guy who's like, we're going to fucking do it, guys.

Not when it's 40 to nothing at halftime. We need a trick play. Shoot the six-pointer. Y'all got to start shooting that six-pointer, dog. I wish. They should have a way that you can get back in the game, you know? God, those were bummers. Were they?

Yeah, man. You know Chin's birthday is Friday. Huh? Chin turns 43 on Friday. 43. Really? In two months, right? In two months.

Yep, in two months. Not Friday. In two months. Yeah. Redeeming myself, brother. That's crazy, man. What are you doing to celebrate? What was that?

He's going to be working. Yeah. We're going to celebrate at work, though. We're going to do a little party. Okay. Yeah. Maybe we'll try and do something next week for you. Oh, you guys are doing something with the fighter and the kid?

Because you guys are taping it on Friday? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I don't know what birthday we have coming up next. When's Kat's? Or do you want to say it? Mine is in the summer. Oh.

Oh, she told us. I remember it. What? I remember birthdays. What is it? It's July 3rd. Oh, it's coming up then. When's yours, Chappelle?

January 23rd. How old are you, Chappelle? I'm 33. Are you really? Wow. You're young as fuck. Really? I thought he was like 26. I thought he's older than that.appelle? I'm 33. Are you really? Wow. You're young as fuck. Really? I thought he was like 26.

I thought he's older than that. What? That's racist. That's racist, bro. That's fucking racist, man. I thought he was just older. That's racist. I think it switched back.

Now you're the not racist one. Thank you. Thank you. David Dukes over here. Thank you. I went to the gym with him. Okay, that's it. I didn't.

He dated this hot girl that worked at the seafood restaurant. She was hot, bro. Was she banging and racist? Banging and racist. She was banging and racist. I don't know if she was racist at all. I don't know. But I'll say this.

She was very white. She had like white hair. I could guess that. You ever meet like a person who's born with like white hair, you know, every now and then unless somebody who's born with like senior hair. and then? Somebody who's born with senior hair? Yeah. Yeah, she was like albino. He wanted her white.

Yeah, he's like, ah, whiten it up a little. She'd wear a white shirt. She would wear white stuff. She would just say white, white, white, white all the time. It was really... Dang, so yeah, Kat's the next birthday then. Am I? No one else has a birthday coming up? I'm sure Day after Christmas

That's a bummer dude Talk about fucking I mean how could you ever feel really wanted in the world Born after the Jesus day man Yeah man That clean up hitter right there lots of double gifts this is Christmas and birthday

oh at least if you ever ever become a school shooter or something for an adult school okay I'm not a creep I would support at least understanding why he did it I'm not a creep I would support

at least understanding why he did it because people said oh this counts for two gifts that alone bro is there anything worse I mean it's definitely it's underdog that's how we do here man it's underdogs only

I'm sure we can get a lot of weird shit sent in for cat's birthday too so sure you got a ton of dick pics i get a lot of that now oh my god they just be sending it yes like no explanation no explanation sometimes they'll use something else as like reference oh i hate that like a Like a little chapstick or something. Like a toothpick. Like a small hat. Like a match. Like a match.

Like a match. Check out this hog. Two matches. Two matches. Think you can handle this well we might have to have a we might have to have to do an unboxing video

speaking of unboxing you know Walmart used to sell coffins how crazy is that not crazy and I think that's true can you look that up Nick Speaking of unboxing, you know Walmart used to sell coffins. How crazy is that? Not crazy. And I think that's true. Can you look that up, Nick? Oh, shit. Oh, hell yeah, they sell them.

Oh, my God. And there you go right there. Walmart caskets. Ooh, get that thick boy. A grand gets you that blue thick boy. Dude, why don't we sell caskets? Bro, if we had our own thing of caskets. You gonna sing? Yeah.

Rip my drip? Is this gonna be me clowning the dead guy? What? No. No, just that fucking thick boy casket. Catskets?

That was tough. What is it called, caskets? Catskets. Catskets? Catskets. Doesn't work. Don't worry about it. Oh, catskets.

King of the stingskets. They're expensive. Damn, you can get that tie-dye hitter. Look at the colors. Click on the tie-dye color. See the colors so far left? Oh, that's beautiful. What's the tie-dye one look like? That's not tie-dye.

What kind of fucking thought's going to get a tie-dye? Oh, that's where you put the ashes. It's caramelized, too. It's beautiful. Oh, you can put your ashes in that Fabergé egg. God, that's nice. I wonder what I want to be in. I want to be in like a something the dog can run around with every now and then.

So people are like, oh, fuck, they just brought Theo in the room, you know? Like a bone? Like, yeah, like sometimes a treat or something. We can figure that out. It'd be crazy though, right? Like a greenie, but with your ashes? Yeah. That'd be sick.

Like some kind of fun toy. All right. Caskets. Did we answer everything people wanted to know? I feel like we missed something. I think that's kind of the fun of this show. They never get answered, but we did. Maybe that's kind of what we do. We. They never get answered, but we did. Maybe that's kind of what we do.

We had Easter egg painting. We're pro it. Getting a puppy during quarantine. King it. Roadside attractions. King them. A lot of kinging tonight. Walmart.

It's very rare we sting shit. Fruit by the foot. Or fruit roll-ups over fruit by the foot. Walmart over Target. Well, that's how we did. Okay. I like Target over Walmart. Yeah.

I want that on the record. I can't listen to a man call it Target over and over again. But I like Walmart. I like the fact that you can fish. You can fucking cast out into the fucking distance of Walmart and see if you piss somebody off. Might hit a kid. Who'd fuck him? No one gives a fuck.

But if you bring your kid to Walmart and don't expect him to get roughed up a little bit by the locals. But that was always the best. Some random kid going by, and they had that big thing of balls they would put in the middle of Walmart for no reason. And it was like 40 cents for one of these balls. That's right. And you'd get some of them at every fucking kid going by. That's right.

They used to have that cage full of balls. Yeah, I think it was insane. And there'd be somebody stuck in there. He was insane. Have you seen my dad? Fuck no. Give me a ball. Yeah, dude.

Throw a ball out, dude. And I'll throw some bread and water in you creep. Quit crying. Throw me a ball, dude. Well. Well. Throw me a ball, dude. Well.

Get me out of here. Get me out of here. Later, brother. Gang, brother. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go.

I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert Flow is contagious, browser outrageous Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto Seeing red like Andrew Santino Every song a hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos

But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible

Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brandon's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King in the sting King in the sting King in the sting Beast in the rat king club can you pick me up the sting, yeah, king in the sting, bee sting, rat king, yeah, king in the sting, yeah, king in the sting, got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string, yeah, let's go, Brendan and Theo, fighter in Creole, shout out New Orleans and shout out to CO, Colorado more

specifically Boulder, Brendan came in with a chip on his shoulder, but it's still gold and yet it's still fire, if you don't like king in the sting, you a liar brendan's got like a thousand different hustles one of them's at nordstrom rack doing tires black rifle coffee we hear you loud and clear your son on the email like please get me out of here it's way too loud in here watching the irishman eating pizza drinking half a beer now on to theo von looking like the type of dude that tries to read us songs smoking cigarettes with a snapback on about to hit the crib and turn Snapchat on It's all good, we still mess with you 1811 Pico Boulevard, go get that hater Derrick and Cat, y'all doing great

Thursday upload, not a minute late Y'all wanted to rap, I had to demonstrate Brand new studio, y'all feeling great Putting Chris Delano in his place Now let's go and get you in a game King in the sting King in the sting King in the sting B in the sting King in the sting

Bee sting rat king King in the sting King in the sting Got the bees in the trap Got the cheese on a string King in the sting King in the sting King in the sting

Bee sting rat king King in the sting King in the sting Got the bees in the sting, bee sting, rat king King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string