The Golden Hour - Episode 88: Big Jean

Episode Date: September 25, 2020

The gang talks Theo's Nashville Trip, Rolling With Big Gene, Sex After 50, Sex With Light's On vs Off, All New Race My Cases and Kats In The Wild, Halloween Costumes, State Fair Rides, an Introduction To Riley and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A thief robbed a convenience store with watermelon on their head as a disguise. That's such a white thing to do. I know where you're going with that. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude.

I think I should just actually get one. Oh yeah, that looks good on me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. I think I should just actually get one. Oh, yeah. That looks good on you, man. Yeah. I could do a lasso. Lassoing? Yeah.

I don't know if you seem like a lasso guy. Maybe molasses. Molasses. It's a little more. It seem like something you'd be into wait what it's called yeah where you catch the little thing yeah yeah i could do it you lasso lasso a skateboard yeah i'll do it on my skateboard yeah lasso something small i could see you lassoing up something real small you know like a little a little, maybe a skunk. A skunk? Okay.

Lasso raccoons. Yeah. Possums. Yeah. Yeah, I get all the rodents. Small game. Yeah. Small game. Small game.

Small gang rodent gang. Yeah. That small game rodent gang, bro. I could see you lassoing all of that. I could see you lassoing a couple Cinnabons. Cinnabons? Oh, yeah. That dessert boy.

Oh, I saw that up. Yeah, dog. Roping up a little bit of dessert. I could see you freaking cornering a tiramisu somewhere in a dark alley. Okay. I don't know why I'd be in a dark alley, but I get it. Why not? Yeah, why not, bro?

Live a little. Damn. Open your mind up, bro. Even in your dreams, you're just sitting at a table relaxing. Yeah, don't look at yourself in your dreams either, dog. Yeah, get out there. I could see you lassoing a couple of of kids stealing some stuff at Tropic Thunder. Oh, yeah.

I'm like the guy that don't feel that hot topic. I called it Tropic Thunder. Hot topic. Last one. Some kids at Hot Topic. Snot topic, dude. It's a bunch of kids in there that are complete assholes. I feel like some kid in there drinking out of a lava lamp.

Yeah, a little bastard stealing some fucking magnets. Some Rick and Morty magnets. Hey, Dad, I'm gay. And his dad's like, back off the lava. Back off the lava. All the girls trying to look like fucking, what's her name? Who's the girl with the green hair? Miley Cyrus.

Nah, they don't want to look like Miley Cyrus. They want to look like. Oh, Billie Eilish. Billie Eilish. That's the one they want to look like now. All them kids. All them kids. She always wears baggy clothes.

Hide them hush puppies. Oh, yeah. Hush puppies. Talking about them sweater, sweaty hitties. Sweaty hitties? You think she got them? Oh, them things. Them thang thangs.

Somebody's got them. She might. She might. She might. She does. Yeah? Is she of age, though? What is going to make sure? Yeah, can we find out first?

I've been over this before. She is. Billie Eilish? Yep. And her brother, I think, named Grover or something. What's his name? Grover? Phineas.

Mm-hmm. Billie Eilish. Where's she from? Here, L.A. She's from L.A.? She's from the valley I think 818 till I die

Yup Shouts out Billy Irish Pirate What's her last name? Pirate? Her middle name is Pirate apparently Billy Pirate Eilish Oh, she's a real deal

Damn Real deal She's 18, guys She's 18? Okay, let's lower roll Yeah Let's lower roll Well, it might be's 18? Okay, let's lower roll. Yeah. Well, it might be legal in Nashville. Dude, you acting all different.

I am? Yeah. Since you came back from Nashville. Dude, I've been all extra, dog. What? All I did was sit down. Talking with a twang and shit. A real twang. Your best hold'em. Your best hold'em.

You best hold'em. Dude, I'veem. Your best hold'em. Your best hold'em. You can wrestle up some raccoons. Dude, I've been training, bro. That might be what's different about me, man. You have been training hard at Michael Chandler's gym. Dude, and it's different. Training MMA down in Tennessee is different, man. How's that?

The boys wrestle. They'll have you out there wrestling a big, you know, one of those big swamp boars, you know? Big pig or something out there. They put you in that gi. Now, are them boys friendly to you or they toss you around a little bit? They'll throw you around. I got a couple of bruised ribs right now.

Tough lady got me. Oh, tough lady? Yeah. There we go. Big lady? Oh, they got a lady out there that's got six feet, man. And she puts it on you, huh? She'll put Paul Prince on you, dude.

Big Gene? Big Gene, the blue belt. Yeah, what's her name? She'll put this one lady put my penis in a Kimura, bro. Oh, damn. I'm not playing, dude. Did you tap? Huh?

Did you tap? Oh, yeah. Did you tap that ass? Get it out of here, dog. Get out of here, man. Hopefully she's armbarring that dick in her mouth. Yeah, come on, man. Come on, Skip.

Yeah, put that thing in a headlock. You guys haven't changed at all you guys have gotten even yeah we're the same in la dog yeah you ain't used to this bro yeah dude you left la and you've changed bro bro you and national getting all weird weird what are you talking about i got two fractured ribs from a straw thing about marrying this buckle bunny i'm like dude you need to chill out, bro. You need to get back to L.A. Them buckle bunnies, man. You guys are wild.

Dude, this lady, yeah, man. Definitely spent a lot. What did I spend my time doing, man? Just driving up and down the hills, man, looking for trouble, mostly. Did you find it? I found a little bit, you know. What's going on in Nashville? Usually I drive down to the gas station at night, you know.

Okay. I'll go in there and mill around. Try to wrangle up a couple lot lizards. Yeah, there wasn't a lot. Was there a lot? It was just one lizard? Yeah, no females out there. What was I doing?

Just nothing, really. Just chilling? Yeah, like going to the gas station. Are things shut down there like it is L.A.? No, things are open. Oh, you like going to the gas station is our thing shut down there like it is la no things are open so oh you can go to the gym i mean you can go to mma you can go to the gym you've got a mask on people have masks like when they're you know saying hey to each other then everybody takes their masks off so like can you believe this bullshit that's how it is but there is the mask on

for the beginning part yeah you know you don't want to alert people but once you're in the club you take that shit and take it off what else

I saw Leon Bridges perform one night dude I saw that I saw that in your story he's great I don't know who he is it was really awesome I think you would like him

dude I feel like I'd fit right in Nashville I've been really into Yellowstone really yeah that's my shit I would have moved in Nashville. You get in there, man.

What's up, dog? You need to probably get some better recipes, probably. A lot of your recipes in your house are kind of Latino, I feel like. Yeah, you're right. You need to get some Southern. You think you're going to stay down there? What are you thinking, dog? You don't know?

I don't know. I mean, there's just... What are some things that I like about it? I like just kind of driving around. No traffic. No traffic. I respect it. There's no traffic here.

What else? You could drive out into the countryside kind of, you know? Yeah. I do notice there's more time in the day. It's easier to get places. So you go do this, you go do that, and it's still only 5 p.m. You're like, what do I do now? It still sounds like you're not doing anything, though?

With or without traffic? Are you going fishing yet or anything like that? It's been too hot p.m. You're like, what do I do now? It still sounds like you're not doing anything, though, with or without traveling. It's been too hot. Oh, too hot. It just started getting a little chilly there. You tried that Hattie B's? I haven't done it. Nick, you were out there, though. You tried that Hattie B's? I did.

I think I agree with you a little. Overrated, right? Sorry, Hattie's. It was good hot chicken. The best hot chicken I had there was at a place called Party Fowl. And we went for brunch, and we got hot chicken Benedict. Oh, good. Yeah.

That sounds good. It was incredible. And I like Hardee's. Yeah, Hardee's is better. Okay, you like Hardee's better. Dude, Howlin' Ray's shit's on Hattie B's. Howlin' Ray's out here, dog. Made by them Koreans.

Is that right, Kat? No, it's just in China. It's in Chinatown. It's made by, dog. Made by them Koreans. Is that right, Kat? No, it's just in China. It's in Chinatown. It's made by white people. Oh. You guys look a little different than the last time I saw you, though. We do. We look better, right?

Huh? We look better than we do on TV. You've been watching us on TV? I've seen some of you guys' episodes. Kat looks nice. You two still look questionable. That is the... I respect it.

Off camera puts on 20 pounds. What's this? Everybody's been watching it while Theo's been in Nashville, including this family. They said their little girl, they're trying to teach her to walk. She's close. And she stood up when she heard a familiar song. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I get it. Yeah. I'm going to walk. Come here. Come to daddy. Oh my god Yeah Yeah Come on Come to daddy So cute She said They said this is the first time She stood up on her own That's so cool

Oh look at her Lean There you go There you go Shorty thick Yeah Shorty thick Now she's 18 right

Yeah 18 months 18 months There we go You just want to make sure That baby on that lean She getting up man Yeah she might be on some Now, she's 18, right? Yeah, 18 months. 18 months. There we go. Just want to make sure. My baby on that lean. She getting up, man.

Yeah, she might be on some cough syrup, bro. Damn, that baby is thick. She might be on some codeine out there. Oh, yeah. She turning up. Oh, damn. So cute. She's beautiful, man. We're going to get picked up by Netflix.

There we go. She is beautiful. Yeah, what have you guys been doing? Same shit, man. We're in L.A. Locked down, dog. Locked down. Living in this communist Los Angeles district.

You think you're all extra because you're in Nashville because you escaped, dog? You think you're better than us because you got out, bro? You seem more free. Yeah. You're living that life. You're living a different life now. Dog is different, bro. I'm going to have to join you. Where'd you find that picture? I got Chappelle and his father right there. You living that life. You living a different life now. Dog is different, bro. Yeah, I went to,

where'd you find that picture? I got Chappelle and his father right there. Yeah, I went to Muay Thai, man. Did you? Yeah. Dang. I looked terrified in that photo. You looked disgruntled there. Yeah, heavy on the gruntle.

Yeah. It was a tough workout, man. I was kicking shit. I ain't never kicked before. Oh, yeah. And you kick, and then the gruntle. Yeah. It was a tough workout, man. I was kicking shit. I ain't never kicked before. Oh, yeah. And you kick, and then a lot of punching. Dog, I'm about to move out to Nashville with you. I'm about to get a ranch.

Are you? Yeah. Are you really? You would be good on a ranch. Yeah, and we're going to brand each other like Yellowstone. Ooh, is that what they do? Yeah. Dude, you would be good on a ranch, man.

Hell yeah. Why don't you have a ranch? Let's get one. Do it in Nashville. We'll open up our own comedy scene out there dog yeah get a little stage on the kind of out on the ponderosa i guess or something why not man yeah mix it i got i got up on stage again at uh as anis yeah so that was cool how'd it feel it was scary man but yeah did you do a full hour no 15 hot 15 yeah wednesday night i got a regular set

this wednesday yeah so this will already be you you guys will have missed it when you're here in this episode but yeah i'm trying to think of what else has been happening man not much i hurt those ribs pretty bad man that ribs are bad when you hurt your ribs it's a pain it's the worst this is what i want to what big bitch sat on your ribs listen hey you fuck with the i'm gonna roll what gym is it this michael chandler's gym chandler listen i'm gonna roll up and twist some fucking heads off dude you guys keep hurting theo damn especially hey big gene what's up bitch meet me at 300 meet me at 300 big gene oh she's small dude oh big gene is small why they call her big gene she's strawweight i think i made that up

she's big on the inside man yeah she's a little mighty mouse oh man what'd you do to your ribs nine feet i don't know i felt like she ate him she freaking tore him up there's some baby backs and then some big fella slammed me too yeah i realize you can't fight the big guys man this guy's you can't if you if they know what they're doing what's that big dude's name man don't make i'm gonna be in Nashville in November. Big Timmy, I think, or Big Tommy. Tell Big Tommy I'm going to roll up there and slap his ass around. And he's missing a grill piece, too.

I will say that. He's missing one tooth? He should have learned the first time. He's missing one of the better teeth as well. It's not like you can miss one. He's missing one of the money makers? Something like that. But I should have known better, man.

But I got out there and he really shook me. Damn. God. It hurts, man. Shouts out to there and he really shook me. Damn. God. It hurts, man. Shouts out to you. Damn, that cat's in the wild? It is. Is this cat's in the wild?

Brendan, I'll get into it, dude. Yeah, let's jump right in. Brendan also got in the ring while Theo was in Nashville. I lost the feeling in my hand. My left hand. Brendan, where were you? I was in Nashville, dog. Is that Big Gene? Is that Benny Hinn? I lost the feeling in my hand. My left hand. I was in Nashville. Is that Big Gene?

Is that Benny Hinn? Is this church? Yeah, what is this? How is that not Fred? How is that not me? What the fuck is going on? Bro, is this Nashville? Yeah, what is this? What is this?? Yeah, what the fuck? What was that?

That looks like Nashville. What was that, Nick? So that was Brandon, Cats of the Wild. Someone saw Chappelle. What did he see there? Oh, another one. I've been broke so many times. I don't know which way.

I'm saying it's my fault. Damn, dog. I'll grow my hair out like that. That shit was dope. I gotta do it. What was he singing? I don't know. Something emo. I've been broke so many times

I don't know where to be live. Mom said it's my fault. That looks like the same wig Snoop Dogg had in Baby Boy. I haven't seen that. Shout out to Rallo Black. Yeah, shout out to Rallo. Great singing, by the way, Rallo. Bro, you think you're better than us because you got out?

I'm not out. I'm here. You think you're better? You think I'm a Zoom call? I'm here in person. Oh, I thought it was a hologram. Oh, man. I thought we stepped the budget up. It's a hologram. Dude, I don't know what it's like over there. There I am right there. They found me and

Rogan fighting, I guess. Oh, God. Rogan's actually an unlockable character, but someone created Theo. Oh, yeah. That's hilarious. Dang. Dog, and you were crying online like a buckle bunny about Dustin Poirier making more money. Oh, dude, they got to pay him.

To fight Tony Ferguson? Anybody, dude. These guys out there, you know, they're giving it all. You know? They're giving it all, dude. Some of these guys, they got to rearrange their face to even smile. Yeah. You know?

To even whistle. Yeah, it's a bitch. And here I am telling the payday man right here. The diamond don't want to take the fight. That he don't want the fight. Man, y'all know good. That man never turned down nothing. Give me a hair looking Chris.

That man never turned down a fight. You got lined up? That boy will catch a, uh, that boy will go outside in December with wet hair just to fight a damn cold, man. That's facts. And y'all need to pay that man, Dana. Damn. Y'all need to split that bag up and pay that man, Dana. Pay that man. Amen.

That nose is flared up, dog. Oh, because I got slammed by a woman. Dude, I got slammed right on the beak, bro, a couple times. You be getting beat up, huh? It's hard out there, man. You're in a new city. How many days a week? Three days a week. Damn damn i had to take a week off though bro they bam me they bang me up man the ribs yeah you come in there you the new guy yeah like let's beat this f and they call me the f word call me the n word somebody did oh damn they said let's beat the

la out of them yeah let's beat this guy huh let's beat this little S-P-I-C, they call me. Damn. Let's beat this little guy. Let's beat this fucking buckle bunny bitch. Yeah, this little Japanese motherfucker somebody called me. Oh, wow. What the hell's a buckle bunny? A buckle bunny? Yeah.

That's like, you know how they have like, like lot lizard for truck drivers? Yeah. It's them hoes. Buckle bunny are like hoes for the rodeo. Is there a name for all groups of hoes? According to Brennan, there is. Another reason I want to start a ranch.

Dude, I can't believe Halloween's coming up, though. Dude, remember we did the Halloween special last year, remember? Yeah. You and I dressed as Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear's and I dressed as Toy Story. Oh, yeah. Buzz Lightyear's. I still got the costumes.

Yeah, you can't do the same thing twice. Yeah, what will we be this year? That's a good question. Maybe people could send in ideas. We could be with some butthead. Oh, I love that. We could get some choices and a vote. My shit's growing back out, dog. Damn, huh? It's crazy. You'll get it cut in a week.

No, I'm not doing it. Really? I'm not cutting it. Dang. How long are you going to grow it? As long as Theo's. There we go. Dang.

I respect it. I'm trying to grow mine as long as Kat's. Oh, my ex-boyfriend used to have longer hair than me. No way. Yeah. That's not good. God, that's... It was a bit of a problem. a problem was it yeah because we'd sleep

and then like i'd roll over on his hair i wouldn't know if it's my hair or not oh yeah it's just i like to have the lady problem i also feel like i don't want to go in a shower and see hair and don't know if it's mine and he has conditioner and shit yeah and then when you guys are wrestling naked you know i'm talking about when if he's on, his hair's all in your hair. If his bun comes out, it's a problem. He has to put his shit in a ponytail. It's always in a ponytail.

That's not sexy. What age do you think people stop having sex, you think? How old are we? Whatever age that is. I'm four. Seventy.

Seventy, you think? No. Dr. Joop, he busting nuts. He's 70. He's not 70. I'm talking 50, maybe. You think 50? Yeah. Yeah. If you're having sexusting nuts. He's 70. He's not 70. I'm talking 50 maybe. You think 50?

Yeah. Yeah. If you're having sex past 50, that's insane. You have an addiction. Yeah. Dr. Drew's 60. He said he has sex at least three times a week. Which is also very bizarre.

Crazy. How many times a week? It blew my mind. He said three times a week. At 62 years old? Calm down, Dr. Drew. He's probably just real healthy. Yeah, but even if I'm real healthy, the last thing I want to do is be having sex, dude.

Yeah, me too. I'd rather be outdoors doing something than be grilling out. Wrestling. Yeah, wrestling. Getting slammed by Big Gene. Yeah. God damn. It's hearty over there, man.

Dog, you know what gets me excited? I know what it is, baby. That meat on my grill. Them hocks. Them cuts. Them rumps. Them shanks. Ooh-wee.

Ooh-wee. All that meat. Yeah, when I was young, my mom dated a meat man. Oh, yeah? And every now and then, I'd know if he'd been over at the house because I'd wake up and there'd be a fresh thing of bacon at the bottom of the steps. Well, your mom don't have to do that anymore because we're talking about butcher box man quality meat quality matters yep times change no longer does your mother have to lay out a little bit of leg to get a little bit of shank you know what i'm

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get green it is cool the only thing that stinks is that ghee when you put it in your car and leave it in there for a day oh it smells like complete shit you gotta air that thing out dog dude it is and then you don't are you the stinky guy in a g yeah is it g or g g it is bad. Are you the stinky guy in a G? Yeah. Is it G or gee? Gee. It is? But I call it G. Yeah, dude. That G stinks, dog.

Oh, damn. Here's Matt Barnes. Yeah, here's Matt Barnes. Oh, my God. That is Matt Barnes. Brenda with the quickness. I'll get a picture of Matt Barnes as we play his question. Thank you, sir.

Yo, what's up, guys? My name is Aaron. I'm from Connecticut. Sure is. Yeah, really. What's in Connecticut? I mean My name is Aaron. I'm from Connecticut sure really What's in Connecticut? I mean we got a bunch of Dunkin Donuts. Yes, man, and a couple of a couple of Native American Casinos, but yeah, yes, yeah, dog, you know Bristol other than that. There's really nothing much. But anyways, I got a King and a stinger for you guys

And it's got to do with getting down and dirty Just you know, it's got to do with getting down and dirty uh just you know it's a preference you know some people prefer to have the lights on so that they can see you know the operating procedure and some people just like taking shots in the dark if you feel what i'm saying so i mean i gotta ask you guys what do you guys prefer lights on or lights off on, wax off. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. I'll see you guys. Gang, gang, young Matt Barnes. Yeah, man. What do you think, Chappelle? Are you a sexual man?

Dim the lights. Oh, dim them up. Dim the lights. Get that R&B going. Ooh. You know what I'm saying? All she sees is them teeth. Yeah, exactly.

All she sees is Chappelle's teeth going. She's like, where you at? And I smile. I'm like, here. I'm right here girl whispering your ear what's up girl what's that cheshire cat yeah you rang that's all your girl hears is two days gonna be the day that's what i do i pick up the guitar before i get going you know two days start playing a little song yeah that's a good question i'm trying to think of

what i like man Sometimes you catch yourself in the mirror With the lights on and you're like god dog I need to get my ass on the treadmill Yeah so that can be kind of inspirational I go lights on Especially with a baddie Yeah I go lights

Otherwise you could have sex with anybody But if the lights are off who gives a fuck I go lights on So I can see what I'm messing with i don't know i go maybe a lamp on or something maybe a candle in the distance there you go yeah i don't want a porno set yeah i don't need great stage lighting like it's a goddamn podcast you know what i'm saying i need it somewhat girl let me set this up yeah hold on girl let me get this fucking podcast light nick let me borrow what about you uh chin let's get with let's get some input i'll tell you right now let me answer for chin lights off really yeah true but you don't want to see you take his underwear off you know

yeah i respect that however i like morning too we do morning so the light show is on no matter what sex in the morning yeah and it's lights are insane jesse james that's insane but lights off at night for sure in the morning huh in the morning's tight yeah right i don't like how chin said we do it in the morning that made me feel weird why are you and you're late for work you pay to start your day though it's the best way oh really yeah that's the best way to wake up i think if you're a man that you get all tired then you got to go to work and do some xeroxing or whatever or construction yeah or construction or something i'm tired you know i'm saying like you're wrestling big gene all fucking night you don't want to go home and then you know

put in more cardio you have the bruised ribs do it i'm erect right now dude honestly are you no damn bro you have to think about it dog i know when i'm erect you idiot you gotta know bro that's the first thing you Nick, you a morning bird? Yeah, because I'm usually tired at night. And then you sleep it off. You're re-energized in the morning. You work all day. Go back to bed. Rinse, repeat.

Yeah, Nick. That's fair. You guys are ill. You changed, man. Brenda's right. He different, huh? He different. I got that Nashville swag.

You think you're better than us, dog? Because you made it out? I think you made it out. Because you don't have these state taxes? You think you're better than us, dog? Because you made it out? I think you made it out. Because you don't have these state taxes? You think you're better than us? Look, I'm just telling y'all what it's like over there, man. I know. Just buffets everywhere. Unlimited food. And people are nice? Oh, yeah. People are nice. And you never

run out of gas. You could drive forever, man. Good food. People are friendly. Yeah. And there's just... Man, everywhere you go, it's like somebody's like, hey, come on over here, buddy. Good food. People are friendly. Yeah. Man, everywhere you go, somebody's like, hey, come on over here, buddy. Have this. Have you want some mashed potatoes? You want some diamonds?

You want some diamonds? Yeah, anything you want, man. People share it with you. LA is like North Korea. Oh, it's crazy over here. I'm trying to smuggle out, dog. Smuggle me back in your briefcase. I don't know, man. That's a lot to smuggle.

Yeah, that ain't smuggling when it's that big. You know? Ship me to Nashville. I'll beat the fuck out of Big Gene, dog. Damn, boy. Maybe a 300, Big Ass Gene. Whoa. Dude, it would take Gene a frickin' two months to get to 300. Yeah. I'm just saying, man, I'm dang erect right now.

Oh. See, you've changed, dog. I don't know what did it, though. Cat talking about it in the morning? No, I don't know. did it, though. Cat talking about it in the morning? No, I don't know. I mean, yes. Was Matt Barnes? I would be the only. I can't admit anything else in here did it.

I'm not going to say any man. You can't say chin going, we do it in the morning. That made me sick. I don't know. I think maybe just talking about it or something. Did you sense that we were about to play Race My Case? No, I didn't. Oh, that's weird.

We haven't done this in a hot second. Yeah, that does give me a little wreck. I know. Chill out, though. Yeah, that feel weird, though. All right, the first case. An online store owner traveled 530 miles to beat up a female customer who made a complaint about late delivery.

The online shopper was beaten into a concussion by the merchant. The seller traveled a day and night from east to the south to seek revenge. He showed up a week later to attack the customer before giving her the clothes. Attacker has been given a

10-day detention and his online store was suspended. Not bad. I'm going to go white. A white dude has just that fire inside to travel through the night, get there and beat the fuck out of somebody? I don't know. It sounds very mercenary. I don't know what mercenary is, but it sounds very, like,

I'm going to say Asian. Wow. He said wow. Chin's offended. Yeah. I'm going to say Asian say asian chin chin you know i just immediately saw a black person i just that's just what i saw okay you can say it that's fine okay racist but that's no no i'm just kidding chapelle uh i'm gonna say white i don't think black i don't think a black person's gonna spend all that energy that spend all that energy. That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work.

You know? When you can just press the issue on site, like right there, then it's fine. But to travel that far? I agree with Theo. I see like an Asian man beating a white woman for some reason. Yeah, that's fair. Because if it's a white guy or white girl, they just try and get them canceled on social media. They wouldn't drive all that way.

Fair point. Kat and Theo got it right, but we're going to ask you guys to get more specific. Ooh, kind of Asian. I'm going to say Korean. I don't agree with you. I agree, Korean. Yep, I'm going to go Korean as well.

You got that Han. It was a Chinese guy. Oh, bullshit, dude. Fake news, Nick. We do a video of the attack. Ooh. Oh, it's an Asian woman he's beaten. Oh, it's in China.

This makes perfect sense. That makes sense. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody told me these are international stories. I would have said Chinese all day. Oh, we kicked the dick. We can't tell you that. Dang.

He robbed her, too. He did? Quite the combo. Yeah. Oh, never mind. He had that all wrong. You're going to complain about me? You're going to complain about my store? And this is in another country, Nick? Yeah the combo. Yeah. Oh, never mind. He had that all wrong. You're going to complain about me?

You're going to complain about my store? And this is in another country, Nick? Yeah, this is China. Wow. I didn't know we were going to international waters. We have. We have. That's crazy.

I thought it was only in America. R.I.P., man. Okay. R.I.P. So we'll say one-one tie between Cat and Theo. Or you got two. All right. All right. All right. So we'll say one-one tie between Kat and Theo. Or you got two. All right, all right, all right.

We had a thief robbed a convenience store with watermelon on their head as a disguise. That's such a white thing to do. I know where you're going with that. If it's on the head, it's dicey where you're going. I mean, I'm not going anywhere. He literally looks right at me. It's a unique disguise. Theo did that with me earlier, too. He looked right at me when he realized Asian.

I can't help it. I think you're just trying to connect. I get it, Theo. I get it. Yeah, I'm just trying to be like. A lot of diversity. Dude, we all are... There's a moment where we all fall victim, man.

I'm going to go with urban gentleman. I'm going to go with white. Has everybody said theirs? Ken? Watermelon on the head. I would have to say white. Pussy. That's why.

Black. I'm going gonna shake it up and say something Latino oh can I change mine to black yes it was a

white guy wow wow fuck and that is cultural appropriation also I want to go and say that

that's the whitest part about this crime yeah yes yeah did it get cancelled for it? Out of masks, robbers wore

watermelons. Let's see. A guy stole lottery tickets and then tried to cash them at the same store. Dumbass. So they put a watermelon on his head? No, this is different. So wait, what happened?

What happened with the other one? They got caught with the watermelon on their head and stealing stuff. Sounds like you don't know, but go on. They found them. I don't know. Sure. We didn't have a picture of them, though. Oh, got it.

Okay. Let's see. A police arrested a man who stole scratch-off tickets from a convenience store and then went to the same store to try to cash them for just over $100. Black. Wait, the cop tried to cash them? No, no. They caught the guy trying to cash them.

Black. And he did it hours apart. First, he cashed the 30 that he stole. Then a couple hours later. I'm going to say black. Black. You think so? What makes you say that, Chappelle?

What makes you think that? Yeah, we don't have to justify. Really? But people like the lottery tickets? Yeah. It's the scratch-offs. The scratch-offs. My grandma's been doing that for ages.

Yeah. She's been doing that for a minute. Older generations like them, too. I think I'll go black. Bingo's more of a white thing, right? I'll go black. I think so. Scratch-off, more black. Actually, you know what? I'm go black. I think so. Scratch off more black.

Actually, you know what? I'm going white. I'm going black. I'm going black. Cat? Same. Black. Latino.

He was black. Wow. You should have stayed, man. You should have stayed. That's crazy to do it at one place and then come right back and try to cash him. It's just so brazen. Unless he has dementia. Like, maybe he's unwell.

Yeah. Probably. We can't give him the benefit of the doubt, man. Probably. And we got a picture of him. I don't know if it's ad block or this. I swear if it's my dad. Oh.

He looks kind of black in that picture. He does not look like he has dementia, though. You don't think so? He could. He has something else. I just don't think it's dementia. He has some problems, I'd say. He has a gambling problem, for sure.

Yeah. I'll be honest with you. Last week, I won 11 hundo. Damn, son. You're betting on NFL. Dude, NFL's popping. I was on UFC. Oh, wee.

With Nick's picks. Nick's picks. I lost 300 on NFL. Okay, Nick. popping. I was on UFC. Oh, with Nick's picks. Nick's picks. I lost 300 on NFL. Okay, Nick. Oh, on the NFL? Yeah. Well, you can bet on NBA playoffs. My freaking nugs are going to... You can bet on layoffs, dude. A lot of people are losing their jobs these days. You can bet on everything. You can bet on the election. You can bet on the re-election. You can bet on...

I mean, there's anything you want, you can bet on. Yep, and you got to do it with my bookie. It's time to celebrate the NFL season on. Yep, and you got to do it with MyBookie. It's time to celebrate the NFL season. Make bank, bro. Invest in your picks. Use promo code K-A-T-S and double your first deposit. New players get up to $1,000 in free play designed to add more excitement to the sports you love and the games you bet.

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You're getting your products out fast. When I was young, it was different. You had to be outside. You'd wait outside at the end of the driveway, and they'd have a little pony or something come by, a man with a pony. Not anymore. And you'd tie your package onto the pony. Oh, hopefully it gets this to somebody. A few weeks, hopefully it gets there.

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Oh, my Lord. That could be you, Chappelle. Dang, that could be you, but you playing, bro. That could be you, dog. You know how big I had to get? Yeah, bro. You're on your way. Meet yourself at 340, dog.

Meet me at 360. I don't know if that's Malibu Realm's shirt. Is that Marcellus Wiley? No, it's Marcellus Wiley posted on his because people are getting tagged as like Marcellus in the wild, I guess. But it was Chappelle on Essence Magazine, which is Black Women's Lifestyle Guide, Black Love, and Beauty. It says Big Men's Fashion. Damn. That's that thick fashion.

I need to recreate that photo. Yeah. Do it, dude. You think I should? Yeah. Yeah? That's that thick fashion. I need to recreate that photo. Yeah. Do it, dude. You think I should? Yeah. Yeah? That should be dope. It looks like a breakfast shirt.

Yeah. You could be on there, Chappelle. Because I got the gold chain and I got the shirt. I just don't have those shorts. I don't have them khaki shorts. That boy got them big tits. Yeah, right. He's got big tits, bro.

That man's got some damn tits on him. Damn. I got the skin tone. You guys look very similar. Yeah Yeah you have to shave your head though I don't know if I want to do that You can take your hair off in post Yeah that's true And we got one more

I bet that boy got a cannon You think? Underneath them khakis I don't know man That boy got that cannon bro You can't have it all bro You got them tits and a cannon. Everybody has that little bit of something, little bit of this or that.

That's that big grouper. He's only got tiny feet. Yeah, he might have that small wiener, dog. He might have big balls, small wiener, which is crazy to see. You don't have that big boy, big dick energy with your shirt popping like that, your tits out like that. That's that Rick Ross. I agree with you, Theo. God is fair.

There's something wrong. BBSW, dog. I'm talking Big Ball Small Wiener. You got a camera. Big Ball Small Wiener. It happens, man. It happens every day. If you look it up,

I can't look it up on my computer. It has blockers on it. BBSW, dude. It's a group. It's a real thing? Yeah. It's Big Bone Women. Yeah.

Big Ball Small Wiener. No, Big Bone Women. That's BBW. And yours is BBSW? Yeah. Big Ball Small Wiener? Yeah. Big Ball Small Wiener.

And it's very, it's, people, it's kind of like a new thing. Because BBW is either Big Bone Women or big black woman is it no you'll get both big beautiful women so yeah that's what i thought i thought it was big beautiful women when i was young this fucking guy i wanted to get my nuts taken off i remember when i was younger it'd just be all penis because imagine that you tell a girl no nuts all penis i'd be like they would try it you know oh that's maybe interesting some kids yeah but also some teens do that after transitioning oh i wouldn't be doing that he said he's keeping the wiener yeah i'd be offering that getting rid of the purse yeah it's almost like when they came

out with uh what's the candy one of them has nuts and one of them doesn't which one i'm enjoying mounds i'm enjoying mounds yeah sometimes like a nut sometimes don't you don't all men's nuts still don't yeah yeah just tell a girl hey could you imagine all penis no nuts yeah have you had it yeah have you had it have you tried it yeah do you maybe you should be an almond joy for halloween that's not a bad idea it's not a bad idea i don't know it racially it wouldn't go over well oh that's good you have to pay himself in chocolate yeah Brendan and then I would

have to do it too you know why do you have to do it well I gotta be a candy bar too we can't be two chocolate dudes I mean

you can put there's white chocolate I think we could probably cover I'll pass we could cover ourselves in chocolate if we went out

with Chappelle I think we could I think you can't just do it by yourself if you walk out with me I think you can i'm chapelle lacey and i approve this message yeah okay and put some like peanuts like around your body i don't think so your chocolate face huh your chocolate face what if it's just chocolate body look at that just leave the face uh them outfits gay corny as fuck gay, dog. That is the whitest outfit

I've ever been in. I'm disappointing the white culture. Fuck, man. Fuck, dude. That shit pisses me off, bro. Hold on. Look up. Also, let's do gay. Y'all gotta see this picture if you're listening to the audio. Yeah, it's the worst picture you've ever

fucking seen. I got nuts. I don't. Who's Mounds and who's Elma Joy between you two? I got the audio. Yeah, that's the worst picture you've ever fucking seen. It's a white. I got nuts, I don't. Who's Mounds and who's Almond Joy between you two? I got the nuts. He got the no nuts. Yeah, I'll go no nuts,

man. I ain't going chocolate face though, man. No almonds, all joy. That's what I'm doing. There you go.

That's what you call it. Look up worst black, do each ethnicity and look up worst whatever Halloween costumes because that has to be. That's our worst Asian one. That has to be the worst white costume I've ever seen. black, do each ethnicity and look up worst whatever Halloween costumes. That's our worst Asian one. That has to be the worst white costume I've ever seen. That's one of the worst white ones

ever, yeah. When you and your wife dress like a something and it's sad. Yeah, it's more sad. What else you got here? We're looking for pictures of Asians in bad costumes? Yeah.'s that baby right there home yeah oh those kids are cute as fuck that one on the far right that's bobby lee on the far right oh god so cute dang

dang oh and all getting traffic too that's the saddest part you want to do anything for halloween i mean it's far out what are you gonna do and it's COVID times the year's been scary enough I feel like but that is definitely Bobby Lee

oh my gosh look at that Bobby has those glasses yeah and he has that inability to act like an adult dang bro

yeah Halloween yeah what are you gonna do for Halloween yeah what are y'all doing so far out I don't even know what I'm doing next week Dang, bro. Yeah, Halloween. Yeah, what are you going to do for Halloween? Yeah, what are y'all doing? It's so far out. I don't even know what I'm doing next week. Oh, yeah, that's true. I forget it so far out. I like to think of everything always in it like early.

I respect it. Thanks, man. Tell you what I'm not doing is going chocolate face, though. Okay. Hey, listen. Live a little, dude. Here's the thing. You're not going to do blackface once your whole life.

Act like you ain't done it. Alright. Really? Maybe. I don't know how you guys are doing in Nashville. I've never done it. I don't know how you're doing in Nashville. But in LA, we don't play that shit, dog. Dude, we're freaking tough in Nashville, dude. At the MMA gym, dude, they have us fighting animals. Fighting

scarecrows that have... Them wild pigs? Yeah. Fighting all kinds of stuff. Danger. Danger. Sounds like you're just fighting Big kinds of stuff. Danger, danger. Sounds like you're just fighting Big Gene. She's beating your ass. What else you got, Nick? This is King of the Sting. Brandon ain't so less Schwab.

Theo, the Lock King Lizard. Got the King of the Sting for you. State fairs. You about it, you ain't about it. Gang bangs, butt plugs. Gang buzz buzz. And this is recent in Utah. Okay.

Utah's lit. Yeah, we were in Utah. Utah's lit. They don't give a fuck about masks, corona, nothing. So I love a fair. Me too. Nothing better. You get that big old prehistoric turkey leg. Yeah.

Little funnel cake. I love it, man. The rides. You get that big old prehistoric turkey leg. Yeah. Little funnel cake. I love it, man. The rides. Bunch of bullshit. I don't like the rides. You don't? I don't like rides. That's scary.

What? I don't like the rides at the fairs. I get nauseous, dude. I don't get nauseous. What, you do backflips 30 in a row, but you can't go on the damn zipper? Yeah, I'm in control over that. I'm not in control of that damn zipper. Yeah, you can't go on

the fucking ferris wheel but you do 17 backflips this is the one we went on that everybody would vomit on oh gosh i don't like the rides either though i cried you've been on that theo constant vomit dude oh i vomited out of every car have you been on that one where the the slingshot like they slingshot you up what fear are you you going to? You're talking about Six Flags. We're talking about county fairs, don't we? Yeah, we're talking about neighborhood pull-up. You know, the rides are gas-powered. We're talking about that.

Yeah, there ain't no bungee jumping at the state fair, Chappelle. Bro, the Gravitron used to get on that, and they had a guy on there which would show everybody his wiener while it was going around, and you couldn't do anything. You were just like, oh, wow. Look at this dick. It was slowly moving back up the wall. And then you got to the bottom

and you couldn't even look around to see if anybody else saw his penis. Your face is glued, right? Oh, your face is just stuck. Because it's like this? Yeah. So you got to the end and you're like, oh, I guess I'm the only person that saw it

even though everybody saw it. Damn. That's aggressive. That's sexual harassment. Yeah, but it was like as a group, kind of. It was like unprecedented. It was basically the lazy Susan of fucking being visually molested. Yeah.

Really unprecedented. I don't know if they have that ride anymore, though. The zipper? The zipper or the one where it spins real fast anymore. The Gravitron, it was called. Let's see Gravitron inside. What it's like inside of Gravitron. We had a ride at Elitch's in Denver called the Rainbow.

And it would kind of do the same thing. But then some poor kid would go, oh, no. Here we go, baby. I could puke. Get your cock out, son. Who's 215, though? Get your cock out. This shit's fun, though.

And you try to move your arm. It snaps it back because you're going so fast. Oh, gosh. You can't even get a boner in these things, Chappelle. You can't? No. It's very hard to. And you try to move your arm, it snaps it back because you're going so fast. Oh, gosh. You can't even get a boner in these things, Chappelle. You can't? No. It's very hard to. But what you could do is if you had a little date or some girl you was interested in, you

could try to set your hand on hers. Yeah. And she couldn't get it off. Yeah. Once you're there, you're there. Yeah. I mean, look at this. People are just absolutely miserable

and this is diesel powered that's diesel there's always that one guy who tries to lay the other way opposite ah dummies some guy wants to do that

who's that who's the DJ in the middle oh perv wait you really can't move at all oh my gosh it's so fun that's pervy Johansson in the middle dude

you'll get sick, though. Yeah, I'm gonna get sick. You'll get what? Sick. Oh, I thought you said something else, dude, because... That guy by us was showing... You know what you did, too? The guy by us was showing peen back in the day.

Yeah, that would make me puke. Oh, those are fun, too. Yeah. I get nauseous on those rides, man. Well, G up, bro. Yeah, dog. Take some fucking... Have half a Red Bull. Dramamine? Dramamine, yeah.. Well, G up, bro. Yeah, dog. Take some fucking... Have half a Red Bull.

Dramamine. You know what it does, right? Yeah. Have half a Red Bull, man, or something. I can't drink. Look at that ride, huh? Damn. Is that gravy on that bitch?

Vernon will get on that ride right there. Hell yeah. I'll ride that thing all night. What's that? That's just ice cream and blueberries. Oh, that's beautiful. The food there is nice too. Damn, she's scared. Another thing I miss

about the fair, the animal area. Oh, my favorite. The goats. You can grab the goats. Whatever you want. Oh, yeah. You can touch all kinds of animals. Texas has a really great state fair. A lot of places do, man. It's a nice place to walk around. The kids.

Everybody's walking around. Calabasas has a good one. They do? Oh, they do? For Halloween. A lot of places do, man. It's a nice place to walk around. The kids, everybody's walking around. Calabasas has a good one. They do? Oh, they do? For Halloween. They have this state fair at Halloween. All the food trucks come. It's dope.

Ooh, I love a good food truck. Me too, young man. State fair, 69%. King it. Yeah, because why would you sting them? Who doesn't like them? Like, why? They're fun for everybody. Yeah, even if you don't like the rides, you can still do other shit.

Yo, you ever gone to Flea Market? I might have. Gets dicey. I've been to some shady places. Flea Market, super shady. Really? But Brendan, you're the kind of guy that would go, you're the kind of guy that I feel like would go to a flea market

and like hate everything. No, I loved it. Really? Yeah, I grew up in flea markets, dog. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't see that on the TFA Tiki website bio. That's not mentioning your credits when you come to the stage. I know, right? Yeah. You know this guy

from his flea market childhood. Okay. That sounds made up dude no the flea market endeavors lit bro oh flea market brendan kind of a little more hoodie like there's just a bunch of weird shit it's people are selling whatever they want oh they roll their vans up they're selling trinkets out the back there's funnel cakes i used to get a Looney Tunes shirt. It had crisscross on it. You remember the crisscross?

Yeah, yeah. The group. It'd be like Bugs Bunny and Tasmanian Devil. And they had the back. The clothes would be backwards. Hell yeah. You get baseball cards. One of the biggest flea markets is at the Pasadena at the Rose Bowl every year.

It's a good time. One of the issues I have with it is most of the stuff they sell in, everybody's selling it. Yep. Come over here and they gotta uh they'll have same shit yeah we got a um taxidermy dorito or something and everybody will have it yeah as soon as this man's got it this man's got it well now but back in the day everything was original they have more original stuff yeah come over here and get this 2 000 bottle caps bottle caps. $6. Damn. It's basically like a pawn shop. Yeah. But for everybody.

For everybody. And it's outside. Now, I've gotten some good Asian trinkets out there. I've gotten some good Asian woodwork. You'll see a lot of good Chinese woodwork out there. Did you haggle with them? Yeah, I'll haggle with them. Are you good at haggling?

I like it. I enjoy it myself. I feel like Asian people haggling is just them yelling at you. Oh, really? Yeah. This was a white guy selling asian stuff so maybe he knew like asian people that had died i feel like you'd go to a flea market buy fishing gear i well the closest thing i went to is uh which is a swamp meet and i did pomona san anna or costa mesa and i always buy fishing gear i'd buy remote control

car stuff and i would buy, you know, survival knives? Yeah. Where you open the back of it and you have like fishing wire. Sounds like you were single for a long time. Survival knife? Yeah, right. And remote control cars. Brendan, survival is important.

It is, Doug. It is. You think Chin shouldn't survive? No, he should they're like a little tiny string saw well look chin i'll support you for so long this getting weird dude i told you yeah okay this tiny string saw yeah look two little rings and it's metal and you would do like this so it cuts the wood Yeah, look, two little rings and it's metal and you would do like this.

So it cuts the wood. Is that what you're talking about? Shout single. Oh, my God, dude. Get an ax, bro. Yeah, right? But it's inside the knife. You could take out everything. It was awesome.

Who's this little buckle bunny? She's got a Kingdor Stingit, too. Oh, sure. What up, Theo? What up, Brennan? Coming to you from Kaukaska, Michigan, and I got a King it or Sting it for you. I like the nose piercing. Personalized masks.

Don't touch me, but keep touching me. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Love it. Yeah, it's awesome. Where'd she get that? I didn't know we made those. Do we make those? She made it.

Oh, tight move. That's dope. Sell them, girl. Make bank, girl. Yeah, put them online if you want. I don't like masks, period. But I guess if we're going to wear one. I'll tell you the stupidest shit is people that have the mask that look like their teeth or their lips.

That's just stupid. Really? Yeah. I feel like that's the best case scenario because then you're at least getting some idea what they look like. I saw a girl on the plane the other day and i wanted to talk to her but i didn't know fully what she looked like you this other thing in mask everybody looks hot to me all the girl all girls look hot in mask oh that's true yeah damn she's a bad it takes a massive like holy shit everyone looks like sexy ninjas in mask yeah that's maybe it's just a fetish i have i don't

know all right good for you as a dude as a dude you just gotta wear the band bandana like you're a bandito yeah that shit's dope now you have a reason to wear a bandana no one can say shit you look fly no crip or blood is gonna come up you. Here's this guy right here who's been obviously drinking marijuana. Culture Corner. She and Nick. How you doing, fellas? Down here in Melbourne, Australia, we've been locked down for quite a while now. Stage four.

We can't do shit. We can't go more than five kilometers away from our house. How many stages are we on? It's curfews. This is my brother's jay obviously that means why is the lip so swollen i haven't had a haircut in about six months and i just wanted to know dudes with ponytails king and his thing gang gang buzz cuts he looks like everybody from

this podcast in one person looks like the flea market version of all of us brandon there's a beautiful young man that's what i'm saying nick's got from another country that's for you nick i think you know hardest to grow up in another country but i say it looks like my brother is a handsome dude he has a set set of lips. Hold on, man. He has a set of lips. Easy on brothers. Your brother has a Grateful Dead tattoo on his chest. Easy.

Easy. Get caught. Easy. Grateful bread over there. Okay, get caught. Dude, this guy, set of lips on him, but also, you know, Kat said this, man. She doesn't dig guys with long hair yeah um long to a certain extent like the late 90s like kind of shaggy longer hair on dudes is fine if it's longer than mine i'm kind of like hmm if you're not jason momoa i'm not here see i i'd like mine

get long enough put in a man bun that should be dope i'm getting there i'm close you were close and then you got it cut for some weird reason i freaked out dude yeah that's why yeah you're right cat broke the news on uh our new cats after dark that she's single we lost all our patreon subscribers or you're not single anymore no i'm still single oh okay you were dating someone yeah but that's not different from fair enough fair. You date someone on the regular, Kat? Yeah. What? Kat, how'd you meet this guy?

Who is this lucky gentleman? Huh? And why are me and Theo pissed? Nick was pissed too. I don't know why. Nick was upset. Yeah, Nick was like, what the fuck? Who is this young gentleman?

Nick was so upset, he had to go check the equipment for a second. I looked over, Nick was like this. He's like, something's fucked up, guys. The fucking cameras are off. Hold on. Cat talks quiet. Fuck. What happened, Cat?

I met him through mutual friends. That's it. Wow. White guy? You guys, this is, first of all, I want to say this is the shittiest episode of Family Feud I've ever watched. Good answer. Good answer. Good I've ever watched. Good answer. Good answer.

Good answer. Good answer. Yeah. They should have Family Feud and it's P-H-A-M. Oh, that would be so good. The weirdest Vietnamese game show. That's hilarious. I got no guesses.

It's Vietnamese people and white people just trying to trying to figure out the same thing yeah Chin do you know no yes he does tight move Nick

tight move the timing was perfect Chin freaking knows dude you fucking in the dark weirdo that's right fucking in the dark weirdo yeah dude the only thing that fucks in the dark are

fucking dolphins dude you're out of your mind man unbelievable unreal let's see we got I wanted to know what you guys think of the new sidekick on this past weekend. So this is a submission from me. It's Kingit or –

I love this kid, so I want to show him to the world. Kingit or Stingit, Riley. Here's a little bit of Riley. You have a lot of body hair, Riley? I don't. I would have guessed that, man, honestly. Really? Yeah.

Do you have any birth defects or anything like that? I mean, I'm a musician. Like I said, I'm a musician. But no, when you were born, were you missing anything? Did you have any birth defects? He's booming with personality. It's Spanish for? Indiana?

Are you good at charades? No, not at all and i always wanted to smoke crack honestly have you had a high drug experience raleigh i've not i mean you know i'm a christian eagle scout so i'm like the eagle scout that you will probably ever meet you know in bali they have so many monkeys that a lot of them have gone into bad ones they put them into detention centers you support that kind of thing yeah i support all monkeys whether they're bad or not because asians you can't i mean you take a razor to an asian you'll barely end up with a damn sideburn on the ground they're not they're not hairy people are they are the yokozuna's hairy i don't think so he's not giving you a lot to work with though he's not giving you a lot to work with, though.

He's not giving you a lot to work with. He's a calm fellow, man. Cool as a cucumber, really. He's a person of color, man. I'm trying to help him out. Yeah, I see what you're doing there. That's very progressive of you. I see what you're doing. That's how it's a deal, man.

He's a young fella, and we met him off the internet. You know, so we'll see how it works. That's how they meet people now. Internet. And here's a girl right here. Seem like a nice girl. Hi everyone at King and the Sting. My name is Ashley.

I'm from Maine. Theo, I can't believe I missed you at the airport. If I knew you were there, I would probably bring a banner for you and divorce papers for my husband. My question is primarily for Brendan, but I would love everybody to weigh in my son recently told me he wants to stop playing soccer he has four years he's 13 now and dive back into the world of jiu-jitsu MMA all of. He wants to be a professional fighter. I'm terrified because of the risks,

and I know there are risks with every sport, but I'm terrified. So I'm wondering if you guys have any advice for me how to best kind of get over that and how to support him, because I do want to support him. Thank you so much. Gang, gang, Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, young lady.

Well, my first advice is keep him away from Big Gene. Do that right now. Number one. Nashville powerhouse. Your kid wants to be a member. He's 13. If it's his passion, I'd say let him run with it. But it's a tough go.

It's a tough go. You know? How long did you train, Brendan, before you started fighting? I was training for probably three years, and then I was off to the races. Wow. Damn. Within a year, I was fighting Golden Gloves, and I was entering jiu-jitsu competitions, and then the Ultimate Fighter came along.

Who's Golden Gloves? A black guy? It sounds like it, but it's a national boxing tournament. Turn up. And I only had six months of training in boxing, and they put me in that tournament. Damn. I didn't even know. They said, Golden Gloves is next week.

I went, no, I don't give a fuck. Well, we signed you up. I'm like, oh, shit. That's crazy. That was my first competition, and I won it. You did? Yep. Damn.

All knockouts. Damn, dude. So violent, it. You did? Yep. All knockouts. Damn, dude. So violent, Brendan. It was a curse. Why are we so violent? What do you get at the end of the tournament, though? What do you get out of all this? I get this sweet belt.

I get this big-ass belt. Oh, you still have it? Oh, yeah. Well, my dad has it. Hell, yeah. Dang, you didn't even get to keep it? No. Damn.

But if your kid's into it, listen, as long as your kid's passionate about something. But fighting's a tough go, man. But I think he'll learn quick whether or not he's into it for the fighting or if he just likes the training part of it. You never know what it's going to lead to. Also, the chance of him sticking with it, being a professional, is not good. So who knows what it leads to. Think about it.

No kid wants to do karate anymore. No. They see the jiu-jitsu and all. Think about it. No kid wants to do karate anymore. No. They see the jujitsu and all that stuff. 100%. No kid wants to do karate. Plus he might make some friends, make them tough,

probably give them some confidence. Riley Mao actually is a Taekwondo... Black belt. Who? Black belt. Who? The young fellow from Nashville. Yeah, the guy that was just...

Well, tell him, stalk with your chest, dog. You're a black belt. Fucking speak up. I'm all scared and shit. Is Riley Mao Big Gene? No. Good correlation, Kat.

You should bring him to Jiu-Jitsu with you. Good correlation, Kat. I don't know. You should let Big Gene get a hold of him. Big Gene's ruthless, dude. Big Gene. It's all ruthless, man. it's all ruthless man it's the ruthless it's danger bro but yeah i think it's i mean i think it's it's neat for kids i think i

don't want my kids to do it but really no not at all if i would have gotten into when i was young i think it would have helped me with a lot of confidence big difference though if if they want to do jujitsu or wrestling go full go but if they want to do like boxing and mma and get hit in the head no uh-uh yeah got it uh-uh he is risky risky that'd be my fighting name risky risky vaughn oh i like that like damn he's risky what does that mean dude that could be your country that could be your country name, too, in Nashville. Risky Vaughn. Risky Vaughn?

You see Risky Vaughn? Yeah. I already have Theo Vaughn, and they're already getting tickets to that. No. You'll sell more if it's Risky Vaughn. Risky isn't a bad name, dude. That's a great nickname. Risky Biscuit.

Risky Vaughn. Yeah, Risky Vaughn. The life and times I respect it Damn man Yeah I definitely miss you guys I know man I hit you up all the time I got back to my apartment and it was just like

I have no friends left Really? Nope not one My kid just hitting him up Harassing him Dad back off. You got to be a dad now again. Your kid's like, fuck, my dad's home?

This is a nightmare, mom. This is a nightmare, mom. She's like, I know. I know. His friends are gone. I know. You got me here, dog. Love it, man.

You knew that? Well, I'll be out in Nashville. I'll be out there in November and then whatever you want to do, dog, you're moving out there. Don't make me jump across. Don't twist my arm now like Big Gene. I'll come out there now. Dude, I'll take you on some tours out there. It's definitely, I mean, who's out there now?

Josh Wolfe? He's going to move out there. There's someone else moving out there, too. Oh, Miley Cyrus, but we don't know her. I think she lives there now. Yeah, I think she lives there now. Ben Shapiro's there. Ben Shapiro's moving there.

Not my friend. Don't care. Oh, Justin Timberlake. Good buddy. He's always there. I think he's from there, originally. Yeah, he's from Knoxville, maybe? Oh, Will Compton's out there.

Will Compton? Good friend of mine. Yeah, I don't really have that many friends out there. Maybe my friend Neil, my friend Tim. You get lonely? Yeah, it's a little bit like 8 o'clock at night. It's like, all right, what do I do? I can't get the TVs to work at the place I'm staying either.

So that's part of it. Oh, that's the worst. So you've just been on your cell phone you had to been on my computer my cell phone you know i got an indoor washing machine that's okay pretty cool and it's a stack one you can wash property out there's not bad probably out there no state tax even yeah no state tax so that kind of stuff is good i mean i don't know the place is cool i probably could just use some more fixing up. Would you move out there, Nick? Nick came out and saw it. You'd move out there?

Oh, would I move out there? Yeah. I'm down to experience any place else. There's nothing really like- Keep it here. Wherever you can gamble. Hey, wherever I can gamble and podcast. Dude, I will say this.

I made probably $1,200 on Nick's picks last week. Did you? Oh, wow. Because I had a bad week. Bad decisions. What? How are we using the same question? It depends.

I don't know. I had a couple wins, but I lost that Kevin Holland decision. Oh, yeah. I didn't pick that one. The eye poke and the Nico Price fight fucked me really bad. But those are freak acts. Yeah, I know. So it's like long run is still going to win, but it sucks Saturday.

Damn. Patriots fucked me last night. And last night, Nick was on a six-game parlay. All he needed, did you see the end of the Patriots game? Yes. He needed Cam Newton to get in the end zone. $2,000 off $100. Damn.

Six games. Damn. It was rough. Chin, I feel like you'd fit in Nashville. Of course. Paint me a Birmingham. Yeah. I would actually go to those little bars and clubs where you could just perform open mic. Chin, I feel like you'd fit in Nashville. Of course. Paint me a Birmingham. Yeah. I would actually go to those little bars and clubs

where you could just perform open mic. Oh, yeah. I could do that. If they don't kick me out. Why would they kick you out? Because I'm different. Yeah, but they're not racist at all. They're right there.

Dude, as long as you're not black, you're fine. Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought he was serious. I was like, don't do that. No one kicked was serious don't be blackface out there like everybody's just like yeah here's how you go whiteface yeah go whiteface for a little while

wear a cowboy hat whiteface i can't go whiteface but something's gonna give it away you need a white face you're gonna look like a geisha my face is wider than all of you guys they're like that guy's creepy yeah your face is wider than all of you guys they're like that guy's creepy face is wider than everyone's here who's this tall hottie man

nashville's a liberal city man the the the state is kind of conservative i think overall but the i mean if you look at things specifically like that but i don't know that state right uh i'm not sure the city i know is is pretty liberal clay travis is out there my boy yep outkick is out there i mean it's it's what is it like i mean right now it's still a little like you know not everybody's there so all the schools probably i guess maybe they're back in business some are some are you know hey did you did you when you first flew out there your first night did you think you made a mistake no the first night i i just got in so late i was i think i was pretty excited that's good you know the hardest part is just like thinking about like what's it going to be like you know podcasting from there um and then deciding

like i decided like when i go back next week i gotta make the place i'm staying more like my home i gotta like try and you know get a wall art or get a something you know a rug or something and then eventually if you decide you want to stay there you have to get a real place you don't have to get a real place yeah but i know you can definitely get nicer places for you know the money and then also there if i wanted to buy like a studio building it's like, okay, you could probably get this building for 200 grand or 300 grand, whereas here it's going to cost you.

They might have a friend who would go in on it with you. You know, 2 million. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. You might be able to find a friend that would go in on it. I feel like there's a lot of like possibility there kind of.

So that part's kind of exciting. People are great. I'm not going to make any decision until six months. I'm going to wait six months. Yeah, because everything could change. Wait six months. There's definitely, like, I got back yesterday and went to the beach, and I was like, God, this is so nice.

It was nice to be at the beach. There's good things about L.A. There's terrible things about L.A. I'm going to give it six months before I make a decision. You know what's illegal in Nashville or just Tennessee is Kratom. So that would be a tough one. Damn, B. You can't even get it delivered.

I'll smuggle that shit. You have to smuggle that in there. It's so easy. You're going to smuggle. We'll get a plug, Tim. Don't let that stop you. Is it a dangerous drug? No, but I mean, it's vilified in the media, so.

Oh. Yeah. But it's not bad. I mean, I've been doing it for, what, four years? Yeah, you seem all right. Yeah, you're a nice guy. Yeah. you have sex in the morning with the lights on it can't it can't be dangerous for some people i'm guessing if they get addicted so be careful don't do it i use that shit every day i feel fine do you yeah how do you feel how do you take it pill form but you know what the problem

is this is my third podcast of the day and i've taken every podcast i find it if you take too much then you know how i was like oh it's like tropic thunder i can't remember certain things it'll trip you up like your brain like overloads and then it's like you're not creating right now oh yeah like i'm every day i can't remember and nicotine and caffeine i can't remember billy eilish like i can't remember uh hot topic yeah i like how out of all those things billy eilish is what i think it's just you though brandon no usually i'm you with the references i'm usually pretty good but yeah if if you're using one of the mad barns if well that's easy but if you're using kratom this long it'll trip up there's something with that like when i do stand-up i don't do as much kratom yeah because if i have back-to-back shows and you when I do stand-up, I don't do as much Kratom. Yeah. Because if I have back-to-back

shows and you got to do an hour of stand-up, I don't do as much. Because if I do that second show, the word, I'll start flipping some words. Dang. Brain fog. Yeah. Right? Yep. I forget stuff too. So that's probably one drawback. What's the benefit? Yeah, what is the benefit? It just, for me,

it feels nice and it feels like a little bit of kick like coffee but then relaxed yeah that makes any sense yeah the benefits i like to get high nick i'm out oh yeah i like drugs dog yeah i can relate to that getting that up i like the little high like nicotine i like whiskey all right sometimes we eat a butter right out the packet fuck yeah you ever seen that movie limitless you ever seen limitless it's like. I want to watch that again. It's good, huh? It's all right. I haven't seen it in a long time.

Might watch tonight. There you go. Well, if you move to Nashville, we'll ship you some, which leads us to we want to do so. We want all submissions from delivery drivers out on your routes. Good stories. King of their sting, it's debate clubs. We got a lot of delivery drivers that watch yes fedex what can brown do for you usps before you get usps the originals of them oh geez

are we only talking about the postal system or are we talking about delivery like postmates yeah amazon oh i like postman thl delivering auto parts let's get them Uber bitches up there, man. They're dropping humans off. Yeah. That original human trafficking. Yeah, yeah. If you think about it. I'm in Dallas next week on the road, dog. You are? Dallas, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Addison Improv.

Chappelle will be there. Yeah, I'll be there. And then I'm in Nashville in November. Dang, man. That's dope, dude. We'll have to do a king and a saint from there. Don't act like it's your city. You know what I'm saying?

When I get there, don't be like, I'm going to show you around. I'm going to show you around, Brendan. I've been there, bro. That's dope, dude. We'll have to do King of the Sink from there. Yeah, don't act like it's your city. You know what I'm saying? When I get there, don't be like, I'm going to show you around. I'm going to show you around, Brendan. I've been there, bro. All right? Oh, my God. I didn't say anything. Don't have Big Gene pick me up from the airport. You've written a song.

She'll pick you up on her back, bro. She's tough, dude. I'll be in New Jersey the first weekend of October, actually. Damn, you brave. Got two nights over. One show. One night, two shows. Where at?

Saturday. I don't know. They're outdoors. Got it. They're outdoors over there. They're outdoor shows. I think it might even be sold out, but I don't know. But it's tickets on TheoVon.com.

Get them. I got dates. Oh, you got Tampa coming up, right? Yeah, Tampa. Size split. Chappelle Headline Tampa. Are you really? October 15th through 18th.

Damn. Come on, say hi. Tim Dillon's going to be down there, too, I know. He's just picking some things down there. People hitting the road, man. It's getting back to normal. People are hitting the road. I've been hitting the road, but I feel you.

And I also got COVID. But you know what I'm saying. But we don't talk about that. No. I'm stronger from it. We needed it to happen to you first. I was the guinea pig. I was the canary. I came back coughing. Amen.

Amen. Good stuff. Alright. Oh, sorry in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concerts.

Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous. Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrew Santino. Every song I hit like the great Bambino. Brendan ate the queso and the quesoritos. But everything's going gonna be fine.

Hate on me, I do not mind. Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times. They sliding into my DMs. A couple of you tried but couldn't beat him. Quit playing like Nintendo DS. You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz. Meaning y'all edible. Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible.

Brennan's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club Can you pick me up? King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Be sting rat king King and the sting

King and the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Outro Music