The Golden Hour - Episode 98: Small Fists

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

Cat Picks Her Ideal KATS Mate, Brendan and Theo Resolve Old Bets, Theo has Thanksgiving with David Arquette and the guys discuss the upcoming KATS Boxing Championship between Cast Mates and a Surprise Call-In Guest. Also, Jay Schaub calls in for a game of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and much more!Kats Merch - https://KATSmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Too close? What was that like? You're making it hard for me Girl I know you Oh yeah he goes, that song's so vulgar Girl I know you felt it Girl you know I can't help it You know what I wanna do That's a song brother

Back off my broccolini. Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. Theo, did you get a haircut? I don't know, actually. Does it look like it?

It does. It looks a little shorter up top. Oh, yeah. It could be shorter. It looks structured. Oh, really? Structured. Oh, word, man. Word. a little shorter up top. Oh, yeah. It could be shorter. It looks structured. Oh, really? Structured. Oh, word, man.

Word. You know? Beautifully designed. Yeah. Oh, thanks, guys. Like a piece of art. Oh, damn. I like that.

Yeah. Most people can't do that with their hair. I'll get maybe a little shorter on top. Yeah? Vernon's been chopping my style. I'll show you a freaking wax. I got that hipster mullet, dog. Vernon would steal everything from you, dog. You know what I'm saying? Vernon's been chopping my style show you're freaking wet Steal everything from you dog

You know get that Frederick Douglass dog go big What's that look like Frederick Douglass long should I get I get it? Will you close this door, Chen? Close that door? Get some extensions in that shit, Chappelle. Dudes do get extensions. Yeah, you could get a weave in there. Do something, man. I feel like you're really, and not to judge you, man. Yeah.

I'm not taking no judgment. But I am going to judge you, but it's also, you coasting, bro. Yeah, you coasting, man. It's just a regular haircut. It's too easy. I'm just saying. Well. That's too easy.

Mix it up. Here's what I'm saying is, to be black and do what you're doing, bro. Yeah. Spice it up. You should get some bangs. You could do all kinds of stuff. There's so many things you can do, man. Put some art in your head.

You could do dreadlocks. You could do dreadlocks you could do you could do you know get a uh s curl get a um picture of your father drawing into the side of your head or something that's what i'm talking about they do that art dog yeah get a fucking kobe shaved into your head or something do some shit 24 right here yeah diet blonde like a thick wesley snipes who's that demolition man sure he's been a bunch of stuff, though, you know? Who has? Wesley Pipes. Snipes? Wesley Snipes.

And he died, didn't he? I think Wesley Pipes is a porn star. No, he's alive. Is he? He went to jail. Yeah. He didn't pay taxes. He didn't pay taxes.

He thought he'd get away with it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That happens, man. Happened to Wesley Snipes. IRS doesn't fuck around. Lauryn Hill.

A lot of famous black people don't pay taxes and white people. Yeah. Who's the most famous that didn't pay taxes? Nick Cage. I was just going to say Nicholas Cage. He got in trouble for buying castles and shit, didn't he? And a dinosaur skull. God.

Legend. He bought a triceratops. Would you get you a dinosaur skull? I'd get maybe something. You know? I'd get a femur or something. I'm not picking up a full skull. No, I don't want the full thing.

It takes up too much space. I'll get like a stegosaurus tail or some shit in my back. The tail. Yeah. You want the femur. But I don't know how much bone the tail has in it. Ooh, a stegosaurus tail? Maybe we should get one for the studio.

No. Wrap this bitch up. We're barely paying people as it is, dude. We're not doing that. Yeah, that's fair. You want to add a stegosaurus? Keep growing that fat mullet you're fucking growing, dog. That's a stegosaurus

tail right there, dude. Wait, what's that? Nick looks kind of like Nick Cage. Nick looks like Nick Caged. Uncaged. Uncaged. No, he looks like David Unletterman. He looks just like Nick Caged. Uncaged. Uncaged. No, he looks like David Unletterman.

He looks just like David Letterman. He looks like Rabies Letterman. Rabies Letterman. That's a bit much. I really respect David Letterman, but I feel like I should be offended by that. You told me that when we were in Nashville and I looked like him. Really? He's a legend, bro. Yeah, that's a good compliment. A legend. You look, that's your dad is a legend you look that's your dad yeah that's your

dad i know you don't know who your dad is that's your dad and that's why we brought you here today david letterman is your father that's my that's why my grandma would always curse when he came on late at night she hated watching do they not look fucking crazy the mouth there does he have a gap, too? Me? Yeah. Yeah. David Letterman definitely does.

I do a little bit. I mean, they look spot on. Yeah. What are we talking about? I don't know. I mean, put the beard picture up of him. Why you got to put the picture? I mean, it's... Yeah, get that one right there.

Look at it. Look at it. I mean... He's dated some busted women, dude. Has he? Oh, yeah. Remember he got in trouble because he was fucking some of the people on the show? And then came out and was like, yeah, I did it.

It was the best reveal of all time. He's like, there's been rumors. I've had inappropriate relationships with people on my staff. And to that, I say, yes, I had inappropriate relations with people on my staff. But then it was over. It was over, yeah. He just hit it head on. And then everyone's like, well, there's that. And he's like, yep, moving on. That's how you got just hit it head-on

Yeah, we need some of that up in here man There's just too many do you want a promotion I'd like them be a little more goal motivated Nobody's tried sleeping with either me or Theo man make a pass and so we grab my ass or them to be a little more goal-motivated. Nobody's trying to sleep in with either me or Theo, man. I'm going to make a pass at it. Someone grab my ass or something, man. To be fair, Chappelle did look at Theo lovingly in the eyes and said that he was a pretty crier. Oh, that's right.

I did say that. Dude, I wouldn't touch half these f***s in here, dude. But I do want to know this. Kat, who would you, if you had to, you know, move forward? Between everyone in the room or just my bosses? If you had to move forward by choice with some lucky man in the

room. So any man in this room, not necessarily just my bosses. It's any man in this room. And no one is your boss right now. And no one is my boss. Okay, let me close my eyes to just think. We're all equals. We're all equals. And also, each man is going to have 30 seconds to, at first, plead their case as to why they should be the one who gets to have you as their wife.

Ooh, let's go. Let's do it. And it's for wife. It's not for anything sensual, you creep. No, it's for a long-term relationship. Brendan or Nick. Nothing you guys are going to play back later and masturbate to. I can reach on my material, man.

And Chin, no insider trading either. Obviously on the A-team. Great rules. Yeah. Okay, let's start off with, let's start with Chappelle Lacey. Let me get a timer. I'm going to close my eyes

while this happens. 60 seconds. It's like that show. What was the show? The Blind Date Show. Remember when they were? Oh, yeah. Like behind a wall.

Okay, I'll close my eyes. Okay, go. Or maybe Kat could ask like three questions and we answer them. Okay. Nope. Monologue. Just like the show. Like, what would you do on our first date?

And then we go through. I don't know. I do like that we have to explain ourselves. I was kind of like prepping my monologue in the time since you said it. I would like to stick with the original. We each get a monologue and then Kat gets to ask one question.

Maybe. Let's see how the monologues go. This could be a horrible idea. Yeah, let's play it by ear. Okay, we have 60 seconds. Nick, you want to run it? Yeah. Run that shit.

Chappelle, do you want to go first? Yeah. Three, two, one, go. My name's Chappelle Lacey. I'm 33 years old. I'm an Aquarius. I'm a great guy. I don't come with any extra baggage, any previous crazy relationship stuff.

I like to read a lot. I like to invest a lot of time into the relationships that I'm in to give my best. I like to deliver my best to everyone around me. 40 more seconds. No, let's do 30. 30 seconds. Let's do 30. Because you get weird at 60.

I know. I was like, what else? Brendan, leave him alone. 30 more seconds. 30 more seconds. Leave him alone. You got five more seconds. Five more seconds.

BLM. BLM. You have five more seconds. Five more seconds. AndM. BLM. You have five more seconds. Five more seconds. And I'm great in bed. All right. All right, Nick. Appropriately, time's up.

Yes. Oh, gosh. Okay, me. That was a good joke. Thank you. Thank you. We slept on that. Let's a good joke, actually. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, we slept on that. Let's go with some heaters.

Me in three. You want to go first, kid? I guess that's not fair. No, you want more time to think. Nick's trying to plan it. Wait, wait, wait. Which is fine. No, Nick had to be the timer last time.

Let's have Jim. No, Cat can hear all of it, then ask questions. Oh, then ask a question? So go me then? Yeah. All right, mine's going to be super short, though. You can disguise your voice a little if you don't want Kat to know who it is. Yeah, you could do something like that.

Although we said the names already. Although we know who it is next. Okay, somebody else can go now. Okay, I'm not going to say who. I'm going to count down and just go since we decided already. Three, two, one, go. As long as you teach your kid. If we have a kid, as long as you teach him how to Google, he will be the utmost perfect child that knows how to do everything.

A hundred other people. He's also he's he's also an anomaly in height. And so if you had a kid with this person, he could be the tallest Asian ever. The voice is making it worse. I don't know if you know who this is. Alright, a beautiful singer. It's already 30 seconds.

Serial killer. Why that guy needs alcohol. Unbelievable. He's the only date rapist that doesn't date. That doesn't rape. That's Chen, dude. And that's a good thing, Chen. Thank you. And that's a good thing, Chen.

But yeah, I would never, I couldn't even imagine. It sounds like the lines got crossed and somebody was just talking to someone. Okay. All right. Who's next? Theo's next. Mystery man number three. Someone is next

Three, two, one, go Good afternoon I would like to say My name is Theo And that could be just a fake name But I am From March, I was born in March

And the One thing you get with me is a decent guy. So you get a guy that wakes up every morning, goes to bed every night. You know, you don't get like a crazy guy that's, you know, selling drugs or anything like that. Or, you know, having a bunch of baby mamas or listening to Cardi B. Oh. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That was pretty good.

What was that? Am I up? All right, ready? I'll go. Three, two, one, go. Okay, you ready? You got it. Hey, my name's Brendan.

I'm 37 years old. My friends would consider me thick, thicker. I ride my bike every day. It's one of my passions. You sound homeless. I love animals. I love animals. One thing about me, I love to eat.

My friends would say I have sweet teeth. I'm a big foot guy. I'm down for open relationships. If you're into black guys, that's fine with me. Damn. Oh my god. Alright, then. Okay, last

contestant. Here we go. Rides, bikes and into black guys? I mean... That guy sounds trouble. You sound homeless. I ride my bike every day. I love animals. Two. Three. I ride my bike every day. I love animals. Two, one, go. Hi, I'm Nick.

What's up, girl? In my dating history, I've dated a Vietnamese girl, so I know how to treat your kind, I guess you would say. Whoa! Whoa! You're out. You're out. I know I'm not the only one that dated a Vietnamese girl in here,

but the other guy was Asian, and I know Asian girls don't like other Asians. They usually go for white guys. Bring the racial heat. Look, Chinese are the black people of the Asian community. I used to live in my car, and I don't anymore. Success story. Strong finish. So I've dated an Asian before and I don't think you guys should be caged up.

Can I open my eyes? You get to ask a question. Okay. It's Kat. You got choices. Okay. Any questions for the panel? I do have a question for the last guy. Okay. Any questions for the panel? I do have a question for the last guy.

Okay. I just wanted to know where did you keep your girlfriend? In a cage or a kennel? On a pedestal. Mr. Steal your Asians. Nick coming hard. Wow. Nick got a boner.

Nick serving that General Tso's chicken though. Yeah, what's up? Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai.

Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai.

Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. Tom Kai. find bad yeah uh uh touch is my love language so i am a great cuddler and uh um yeah i do take naps about 20 minute naps every day every day a little power nap on the hour on yeah oh yeah oh wow on the hour god someone say lazy i would never 20 minutes every day on the hour but that's a stereotype dude okay yeah right you hear what he said about me, Theo?

Get him. Hurts my heart, man. Yeah, come on. I will fill out another comment, and I will, I do have seven alternate accounts that I YouTube comment onto on YouTube, and I will continue to use them.

File it with human resources. Yeah, which is just Nick. I'm lax. And most of the complaints are against him. He goes, I've dealt with your kind before. I've dealt with your kind. I'm not scared. One for you, one for me.

If you're like me, man. I'm not. You're not. You're not. You're not as thick as me, but I'll be eating dinner and I'm thinking, I need something after this. I need something to wash this meal down with. I need another meal. I need someone after this. I need something to wash this meal down with. I need another meal. I need someone to deliver it.

You're like, yeah. I remember one time he said, hey, pick me up one of those wet meals. And I was like, what do you mean? Like a smoothie? You're like, yeah. Yeah, smoothie, dog. But look, man, the thing is, is that food now, you can't go outside. Somebody has a disease.

Somebody has AIDS. Somebody has COVID. You got to be careful. So the thing you need to do is Postmate it, man. They'll bring it to you. You need it. They'll bring it to you. What do they bring, big dog? What do you need? Burgers, sushi. You need something at Walgreens 7-Eleven. They do that, man. Just download the Postmates app. All right. Find your favorites and get anything you want delivered within one hour, man. Burgers, mutton, anything, man man and other things also you want a frosting treat you want a sugar cookie you want a slurpee yeah you want it all baby or you want none of it yeah they got chick

fil a they got that postmates is giving you guys 100 a free delivery credit for your first seven days that's for limited time only what start your free deliveries download the app and use the code kats 2020 that's code kats 2020 for 100 a free delivery credit for your first seven days when you download the postmates app anything you need anytime you need it postmates that's right you can even get on your mom's phone get the app do it like that get the free hundred use your sister's phone you got christmas dinner man yeah though tis that time of the year dog well will you want to stay hydrated yeah yeah oh yeah dude the thing about you know your body is mostly hydration yes if somebody dehydrated you you'd weigh probably six pounds i'd be a nice

beef jerky though yeah sweet thick beef jerky. Yeah, I mean, you definitely give somebody cavities, I bet that. That's for sure. Listen, man, stay hydrated. And just don't do it with regular water. How about you use liquid IV? All you do is put in 16 ounces of water. You get two to three times the amount of hydration as plain water. Who drinks plain water?

Not me. I don't, dude. I never. If it's bottled, but I'm not drinking out of the tap in a bath. Oh, I go straight tap to the dome, dog. Damn, really? On an airplane? Yep.

Oh. That's nasty, dude. I'll drink it straight out of that weird toilet. It's so close to that toilet, bro. It's disgusting. That's gross. I was on a plane one time. A guy went in there with a mixed-it-yourself coffee cup and went in there and got some

water out of the bathroom and made it. Hell, yeah, man. But what I'm talking about a liquid IV, man. And they call it, one thing you don't know about it, they call it the hydration multiplier. So that's like somebody runs up and, you know, hits you with a water balloon, but liquid IV comes up and hits you with 30 water balloons. Yes, all up in your mouth. And listen, they got delicious flavors.

How about that sweet and juicy guava? My favorite, crisp watermelon. They even got apple pie for you thick boys out there, man. Yes, it's healthier than some sugary sports drink. Get that out of my face. Five essential vitamins, more vitamin C than an orange. What? It's non-GMO.

It's vegan. No gluten, dairy, soy. And look, here's the thing, is that you can feel it. When you drink a liquid IV serving, you can feel it. Oh, instantly, man. And Liquid IV is available nationwide at Walmart in the beverage section, or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com. Use the code K-A-T-S at checkout.

Yep, that's promo code K-A-T-S at checkout. Liquidiv.com. Get better hydration today at liquidiv.com. Promo code K-A-T-S at... Check out liquidiv.com. Get better hydration today at liquidiv.com. Promo code KAT. Okay, so going down the list, I would say the definite nose is going to be the... What was it? The gentleman who said that he was also Asian. It kind of sounded like he was giving me a description of he is trying

to like procreate not necessarily be in a relationship like out of duty yeah i wasn't and i'm looking for love yeah i wasn't feeling him either i noticed that else yeah i feel the same way so that's chan and he's out all right next one is the gentleman who rides bikes he says that he likes black men. No, I said it's okay if you like black men. You can't rebuttal, Brendan. Well, no, I'm wearing my dial-up. Because she's confused.

I didn't say I like black men. Oh, okay. That changes it a few things. Okay, that's fine. You can rebuttal. I'm open to it, I said. Oh, okay. I thought you said you liked black men.

I was going to tell you I didn't like to share. Everyone's in the hot tub drink Chappelle's in there says love language is time. Let's put a black guy in there I love how open that gentleman is but I feel like I can't deal with a cuck Yeah, I've kind of dealt with that in the past, can't do it now. Let's see. Who else? And then there was a-

RIP cuck dudes. RIP cuck dudes. Tried it, did not work. So let's see. Jesus. There's the guy who says that he is into my kind. He's dated my kind. And I'm gonna-

That was super racist. Was that me? Oh, it wasn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that me oh it wasn't no no no that was not you no i said you are kind oh you are kind i'm gonna go ahead and say that's behind the glass i'm gonna go ahead and say that's a hard no by referring to my people as your kind it's gonna be a hard pass so it's gonna be 20 nick yeah It's 2020, Nick. Yeah, it's 2020, brother. Stay woke. There was a man who said

that he is a decent man who wakes up in the morning and night. I liked that he was the most normal out of everybody, but it did sound like he was going in for a job interview. Yeah, your ticker's off. Yep, that's fair.

I think out of all of them, I would have to go with the first contestant who's working on themselves and touches a love language oh wow that guy yeah you were a close second i will say if you gave a little more like i'm looking for love i would have given in i'll take second because i don't know if i was definitely down for it but i will make a choice for you if something happens to the first guy then i would definitely i would step up But I would. Make a choice for you. If something happens to the first guy, then I would definitely, I would step up and I would be the man you need me to be. Yeah. Like if the first day didn't go well, I'd hit you up like on the way home.

And I would be right there. Second place is what you want. Now you can be the bachelor. Yeah. You're that shoulder to cry on. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Well, when I fuck up.

It's a little too much responsibility. Okay. Nevermind. Just kidding. Don't call me all the time yeah no no that was a fun game here's a guy right here who's got some issues someone actually pointed this out you guys made a bet eight over 18 months ago and the bet has come let's take a look back someone owe someone money in there. Rondo on the Betty White life. I'll go $140. But how long do you think she's going to live, though?

I would like. How old is she now, though? I'm not sure. 100? I want two to one odds for the next 18 months. Ooh, 97. Back nine, bro. One of the funniest women out there.

Funniest people, but also one of the funniest women. She had a style of her own, bro. One of the funniest women out there. Funniest people, but also one of the funniest women. She had a style of her own, man. Sometimes you get a lot of comedians just trying to rip off somebody else's style. The reason why any of them, I feel like, have success sometimes is because they find their own style. She had a style all her own, and she still will for the next 18 months. I want to pay. You're giving up for Hannah Gadsden over 18 months? So I get 18 months. I'm going over, bro. Really?

Oh, yeah. She's going to be taken by Michael Jackson in this video. And I bet you might. And so that's beautiful. So we're going $140. I want two to one. I thought I was talking

to Morgan Waller. Theo is branding $140. That 18 months was October 5th. She died? No, she stayed alive. You said you took the over. You took the over. You took the over.

Damn. Damn. Pull up another bet. Pull up a bet that I won. Right before that one, you guys had talked about Dustin Poirier, which you all – oh, you lost that one too. Oh, with Khabib? Yeah, it must have been. Yeah, it had to be.

Dustin just came out with a hot sauce today though also. So if you guys want to... Is this called Diamond Hot Sauce? I don't know what it's called, but it'll... Literally, the tagline is, this stuff will beat the fuck out of you. Oh, that's great. I like that.

No, I'm joking. That's not it. Oh, damn. Oh, I love that. Steve-O has a hot sauce and goes, this will make your asshole on fire. I'm like, I don't want that, dude. Yeah, that hurts my feeling.

Didn't he put that shit in his eye? It's called Poirier's hot sauce, man. It's got some kick and some punch, it says. That's creative. He fights soon, yeah, right? January. Connor. January, boy.

January. You want to bet on that one, too? Yeah. All right. Let's go double or nothing, then, I think i think yeah what was the bet for a betty 140 dollars all right you would add a pay in 520 had she died i can't believe in during covid time she's covid can't be real if it's not killing that lady well she might just be locked down though she might be one of those people that doesn't leave the house like my dad

i don't think she's like your dad dude she's like a successful actress you know i mean your dad seemed like a cool guy i've seen some images of him but yeah how old is she now 98 what is this shout out 98 dude shout out bone thugs in harmony what else happened in 98 what was big in 98 can you google that right now top 10 musical hits of 1998 and cat i want to say thank you for entertaining us on that game and even just giving us the option hypothetically be the man that you do not need Ray of Light, Jay-Z, Hard Knocks Backstreet Boys, everybody

everybody yeah get jiggy with it get jiggy with it that was a jammy jam get jiggy with it get jiggy with it Get jiggy with it? Oh, I loved it. Get jiggy with it. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Get jiggy with it. Too close. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Too close? What was that like? You're making it hard for me. Girl, I know you're. Oh, yeah.

He goes, that song's so vulgar. And that kid goes, girl, I know you felt it. Girl, you know I can't help it. You know what I wanna do. That's assault, brother. Rubbing your dick on her leg. That's what he's talking about. You actually look like Hannah Gadsby.

Heavy on the Gadsby too, dude. Looks like you had a couple servants of Gadsby, bro. Oh my god oh definitely definitely same body that's for sure yeah same body damn show dude you should do some stunt double work with her yeah maybe have you guys met her i haven't no no uh-uh but that was the first time i was ever introduced to tim dylan uh when he was talking about the nanette video uh what was nanette uh i think that was the name that was the name of hannah gasby's

netflix special right um what'd he say about it he just was confusing it with Ali Wong. He's like, have you seen this Nanette? It's this short Asian pregnant woman. She takes the piss out of everybody. It's hilarious. Silly. And then he went on to talk about Domino's Pizza. I don't know.

He's going to be zooming in to King of the Sting soon. Who is? Tim Dillon? Yeah. Oh. Fun. Hell yeah. I was supposed to go over to his house for Thanksgiving, then he canceled it it he said there's a covid uproar i'm gonna pass well i said you're lost no pecan pie and a hot pecan pie come come to his house you're lost brother that pecan's worth

covid to me yeah i went over brendan's house for thanksgiving how was it it was good i went last year it was okay yeah you came over last year this year was better the It was good. I went last year. It was okay. You came here last year. This year was better. The food was better. It was great. I made the gravy from scratch. Yeah, because you said other years you don't get Thanksgiving food. No. My girl fucking bullshits.

She makes burritos. And then the Mexican holiday, it's lit as fuck at my house. Oh, yeah. But this Thanksgiving, we really went all out. What is this right here, Brendan? I have no clue. What is this, Nick? Brendan? I have no clue. What is this, Nick? This was Cats in the Wild.

Someone found footage of, I don't know if this was at Thanksgiving, but it was Brendan versus Chappelle fighting. What is in there? Oh, my. Oh, wow. Not a lot of power in either one. Oh, my God. Oh, there it is.

Someone said running versus your bell. That looks good. Maybe at 400. Play that one more time. He made trade. It's like water. Oh, gosh. Yeah, it's like the fighting underwater.

This one. Oh, damn. And that wasn't the only Cats crew members battling. And these are getting very loose, by the way. I understand. None of them look like us. But this was Chin versus I freestyling versus me. Oh, I see.

I saw this. Oh, my gosh. Man, those wraps were soft. You can never go hard. The only moaning you hear is when your mom sees your report card. Ooooooooh! Is this in Malibu? I think this is Orange County. It has to be.

This is Westminster. This is Irvine Front, already I think. Yes. You see Irvine gone wild. You can't even get a girl to the grand, you'll always be late. You're a six foot two. You can't even get a date. I see you coming at me like you want to pick a fight, but the only thing that's more pathetic than your bars are your height. He goes at him with some little crush, right? I'm getting kind of nervous.

And who is that in the background? Who is this obviously kid or something that being sex traffic look at that zoom in there I think I used to be my opener song zoom in on the quick time I can take a screenshot can you yeah let's see what we can do here because this is alarming kid is very small for that group. It's dangerous. There's no way he lives in apartment five, dude. This kid is full of shit.

He don't have a job. Are they in the hallway of a dorm? I don't know how old kids are these days. Look at that. Yeah. It doesn't look safe. He looks like Arthur. Yeah, kids.

That's a good one. He looks like Arthur. Remember the meme of Arthur the artwork? It's like literally like this, the yellow. Yeah, he's old. What is it? Oh, that hand. He's like getting pissed off.

And that meme, he was about to punch his sister. Yeah. Look, man. That was great, man. You know? His sister DW. She needs to tighten up. You know what I'm saying, man. You know? His sister, D.W. She needs to tighten up. You know what I'm saying, man?

That's when you got to beat your sister is when you're a kid. Be your kid. Don't accept all the time. Oh, me and my sister got in some fights. She pushed me down the stairs. I didn't know you had a sister. Yeah, she pushed me down the stairs. Oh, there's another part.

And we're going to bring her in now every episode. Chappelle has some new distant family member.'s the way chapelle gets to meet his family yeah well king of the sting thank y'all speaking of chapelle going downhill this is probably the most submitted uh king of the sting or cats in the wild ever it's been sent to all of us like hundreds of times oh it's that fat kid you show me how to let my boom Boom! Chappelle, how'd that feel, Chappelle? I would never do that. I land on my feet.

Damn, you heard it here first, guys. He redeemed himself. Did he? Yeah, he landed that shit. Yeah, he did another one where he landed it. You know what? There's something beautiful about knowing you're not going to land it and just riding right into it like you are going to. Yeah.

Face first. Oh, dude. There's something special about that. He got stuck in the air. He wasn't flipping anymore. He just paused. He just stopped. And then just.

You got to respect that, man. Gravity was like, come here. That's something. Even when I did the American Ninja Warrior course. Didn't we play that on here before? You did it? You did it? Yeah.

You were actually on the show? Yeah. No, I was on the course, though. Oh, wow. You just decided to jump on the course? Yeah. Are you nim actually on the show. Yeah, I would know I was on the course though. Oh, wow You just I jump on the course Yeah, are you nimble on your feet? I don't think I'm nimble. I'm like semi nimble. Oh wow Course is a beast though, right? It's pretty difficult. Is there video? I think there is. That's me shaving my legs.

That's me getting ready. Whoa. How old were you there? 15, 16. You look young. Did you shave to get aerodynamic for it? You got to get aerodynamic. You got to get ready. There you go.

You got to get peed up. You got to stretch. Oh, look at that stretch. Took it serious. Get the cheeks out. Very important. Keep scrolling. And that's me getting ready

and then I think you fell in the water fell in the water there may be the video though oh little bruise took that bruise bro

took that hard hit I forgot about that that might have been from something else but we factored that in yeah is there is there is there video

how the heck can I have video if you do it I know go back and scroll down is Ninja Warrior still is this still going on? Yeah, it's huge, right? I think American Ninja Warrior still is.

There was a different show that came out similar to it. Titans? Wipeout, I think is another one. Someone died on Wipeout. Someone died on Wipeout? Yeah. The other day. Somebody shattered their neck or something.

Really? Yeah. Jesus. Some guy. No. A Japanese guy. Did you have video of that? I made? Yeah. Jesus. Some guy. No. A Japanese guy. Did you have a video of that? I made that up.

Oh. The Japanese live forever. But I feel like Wipeout would be the thing to take them out. Oh, no. Someone did die in Wipeout. Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, you're saying you're joking about Japanese.

Oh, damn. That bitch is Scorpion. She is flexible, though. But that's not the person that died. But she's not flexible. That's the scary part. That's also why she died i don't think it was her that died um what were we getting into what else were we getting

into sorry i took us on this how was your thing yeah um it was pretty chill what'd you do in nashville what did i do david arquette invited me over actually how was that it was fun do you guys wrestle he's got some children no he showed me like some memorabilia he has like memorabilia What did I do? David Arquette invited me over, actually. How was that? It was fun. Did you guys wrestle? He's got some children. No, he showed me some memorabilia. He has memorabilia. Okay. So we looked at it.

You said on TPW you cried in your car in the morning. I did cry in my car in the morning. Wow. It was just seasonal kind of stuff, probably. I was trying to get donuts. They were closed. I was already going through some stuff actually they had one donut left

when I went in there and you got it? did you get it? no I didn't it was like bacon, maple, butter too much that's not the one to get I would cry over that too

it's almost like an omen yeah you don't need this That's not the one to get. Yeah, it just wasn't the one to get. I would cry over that, too. Yeah. So I just left. It's almost like an omen. Yeah, yeah. I was like, you don't need this. Yeah, you don't need that in your life. And I was like, what do I need? And then the tears started coming. So that's when it hit, yeah.

I respect that. But then after that, yeah, went out there. They live out in the country, so it was kind of nice to just be out in the country. Is he still married to Courtney Collins? No, he got married. He has a different wife. His wife is named, I think, Christy. And how do you guys know each other?

We know each other through just being alive and just... You had him on your show. He came on this past week. Yeah. Because he has a new documentary out called You Cannot Kill David Arquette. He almost died wrestling, right? Yeah, he almost died and he lived. Or he did and or he did

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Hellotushy.com slash cats. But here's somebody who's not alive actually right now. So I had a debate club. Which fight did you guys think was more interesting? Oh, come on. Easily. Jake Paul fight. Jake Paul.

The rest of it was just Ratchet, I thought. The rest of it, we might as well have. I might as well have. That's crazy. Chappelle and Chen fight. Jake Paul. The rest of it was just Ratchet, I thought. The rest of it, we might as well have... I might as well have... That's crazy, though, huh? Chappelle and Chin fight. We could do that. It'd be more entertaining. Who do you got, Chin or Chappelle?

Yeah, who do you got? That's a good question, because you thought Brian could handle me. Or you guys all thought I can hang... Brian drains, though. Yeah. Okay. Brian who, Callan?

Yeah, Brian Callan. Brian would handle you in? Yeah. Yeah, Brian Callan. Brian wouldn't handle even a heartbeat. What the? Even when he's geriatric? Yeah, it's not even a, yeah. Yeah.

What? It's not even a thing, dude. Yeah. It's not a thing. No, your glasses fog up when you get too close to that little grill at that restaurant.

There's no glasses when I fight, though. But I'm just, right, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help. You can't see. No, my distance is good. It's just when it's super close.

Bro, it's going to be close. They're going to be all up in your trail. It's not going to be like this in my face. Bro, he ain't going to punch you from 20 feet away. I'm shocked that people think that Brian can hang with me. I am. Well, we'll put that up on the IG. Who would win?

Between Chappelle and Chin? Yeah. Chappelle's pretty athletic. He's very athletic. We can get you guys to fight. Maybe you can fight on Ellis Mania. I know he has different fights every year Or

Maybe we Like start calling out Barstool people We get chin on Ruff and Rowdy We send them Send them out east Send me out east What is that?

Send you back east It's just It's just tough man Just anybody wants to get there Or we do a Cats live And at the end of it You guys fucking fight to the death What?

To the death? I don't know what I'm saying That's little extreme, but you know what I'm saying. We got to keep chin around for a little longer. Listen, I still have to fight Johnny Curtis. Fight to at least CPR. I'm not doing... Yes. I'm not fighting chin until I fight Johnny Curtis.

Fight for your job. Fight for employment. But I need Chappelle to harness your inner war demon, dog. That anger management... War demon is a racial slur. No, it's not, dude. Thanks, Theo. You're welcome. dog and that anger management demon is a racial slur no it's not thanks thanks to you you're welcome if you can bring back some of his anger then we got a fight

that's true you trying to be all nice we need you know yeah that's just in her Han yeah I do feel like I need to get it out sometime so that'd be cool oh he's not he said I mean I'm not calling out you know you just did no he said once you kick foot nuts in your mouth. That's what he said. Oh, gosh, I can't wait for this press conference. Mm-hmm. Did you ever call them where they talk shit to each other?

Yep. Well, we're doing it, so. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not good at talking shit, so I don't like you as a person. Yeah. Ooh. You hear that? There we go.

There we go. Yeah. No, but haven't you guys done, like, back... I remember when I was growing up, I would always do backyard, like, with gloves on. Boxing gloves. We would just fight. Yeah, sure. And we'd do it constantly. Yeah. No, but haven't you guys done, like, back... I remember when I was growing up, I would always do backyard, like, with gloves on. Boxing gloves. We would just fight. Yeah, sure. And we'd do it constantly.

Yeah. So it'd be, like, one of those things. Like, we're still friends, but we just go at it during that little fight. Are you going to respond, though? He said he doesn't like you as a person. Yeah. That's what I... Yeah, I'm not trying to hear...

Chin, kill him. We should play in the backyard. Yeah, all right, buddy. Chin, kill him. I do like Chappelle, though. Yeah, but you guys are going to fight, dude. Let's put some odds on it Nick what are the odds

Once we're in the ring then we'll just let it all out Wait if Chin wins does that count as a hate crime Not anymore They're both We're in the safe zone I think I'm going minus 190 Chappelle What does that mean That's a 2 to 1 dog

Since Nick is doubting me, I would like to box Nick as well. Who do you guys have on that? Producer. That's my producer versus your producer. Whether it stays on the show. Whether it stays on the show.

I'm not going back to my car. It's like Survivor. Let's run it up. He's hungry. I have inner rage. Perfect. Nick also has inner rage. He didn't have a dad.

But I will say this. Chin has rage from like thousands of years ago. So does Nick. Wisconsin? I don't know if Nick does have that. Wisconsin? Come on. Yeah, Ming Dynasty or whatever.

Ye Dynasty. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying... He has something, you know. He's got that past life. Nick lived out of his car. Nick quit college to gamble, for God's sake. And he finished college. No, I finished audio engineering

school. It sounds like you guys should be in the car together. That's a perfect fight. It's a perfect fight. Yeah, dude. Sounds like they should be a tag team. Yeah. Nick would beat the shit out of you in a fight, I think, honestly.

And so does Nick. That means we have to do it. Fine with me. What's up? I got chin. If Nick is down. You know I love you, Nick. I got chin.

I will do anything for the show so who else is on the car it's just boxing gloves it's like you know it's not going to kill each other yeah whatever makes you feel good listen we do eight ounce gloves no headgear mouthpieces i'll be the ref i'll never wear what no headgear, mouthpieces. I'll be the ref. No headgear? What? No headgear? No headgear. No, I hate headgear.

You can't see that well. All right. Okay, fine. I know. Bro, none of these comments are going to come back to help you. When's this going down? You want to do it end of January? You guys want two months to train?

This is fucking hilarious. We'll vlog it. We'll do like a countdown with you two. I'm not doing any of that, but I will. Or I'll at least watch on FaceTime. No, you're going to be in Nick's corner. I'm not being in Nick's corner, dude. You're his custom auto.

Well, here's the thing. I think we need to pick who's going to be in the corner. I'm not a corner man. I'm pulling a Mike Perry. You have your girlfriend in your corner? Her, and I'm going to be in the corner. I'm not going to be, I'm not a corner man. I'm pulling a Mike Perry. You can have your girlfriend in your corner? Her, and I'm going to silent auction. You can DM me how much you want. Darren Till, how much you got?

Darren Till, what's up, dog? Get in there. That's hilarious, dude. So what would the rules be? How many minute rounds? The prize, I'll tell you this, is a autographed bottle of Poirier's hot sauce. I'll tell you that right now. That's a solid prize.

I would say... I'd fight for that. Three two-minute rounds. Is Chappelle fighting anyone now? Because it turned into Chin and I. Yeah, Chappelle's talking a lot of smack. Maybe there's a tough female that Chappelle could fight. Where's Big Gene?

Oh, what about Baby Unique? I don't want to fight her. I'm scared. Come on, man. I'm not going to fight a woman. Most people in the YouTube comments want to, okay? Did they not like Baby Unique? Did she get lit up?

It was 50-50. Yeah. Voice is cracking. I know, right? I do think, whoa, Vicky and Baby Unique would be a good fight, though. So we can put them on the card? No, we need Chappelle against a strong, hardy female. Yes.

But who's a strong, hardy female? I don't know if that's going to get sanctioned. Yeah, come on now. It doesn't have to be sanctioned. We need to agree to do it here. Fortune Feimster? Fortune is, I mean, I don't think she's strong i think she's hearty i'll grapple with a woman but i'm not gonna fight a woman look this one's gonna beat your ass you're

gonna yeah we're gonna find someone to really beat your ass man yeah she'll be big and aggressive i could ask that lady gene we need like a lizzo type of girl you want to fight lizzo i want you to find a big hefty girl who's really going to sock it to you. No, I want you to fight a real girl. Where's Lizzo? Pull up Lizzo. Can I fight that? Yeah, how tall is she?

I'm thinking more hardcore karate. Oh, you think more of a Muay Thai Lizzo? Muay Thai Lizzo. No, Lesbo. Who's a hardy woman that's in the UFC, man? Come on, Brendan. It's supposed to be your job. There's not really any hardy.

They're all small. You don't even know your job dude you don't kick my ass I'm not 510 she's fine I'm 511 that's a good fight solid matchmaking fight that's what we call on the business a coin flip odds are even I think you could probably be a good fight she got shot in the foot though didn't she know when I thought of tough women I thought Jillian Michaels she's but Lizzo isn't okay Grammy nominated Lizzo dude we can barely get whoa Vicky okay

we got baby unique okay who's a part time stripper from a reptile convention okay let's be honest with what's going on I don't know

this show's going downhill she was great but I was like who the fuck she was like I who the fuck? She was like, I'm a DJ. She left the snake. That's the crazy part.

Still there, chilling. She ate my dog. She left the snake. She was like, I think he's tired. Put him in the box. Colin took it home. Really? Yeah. Wow.

I don't know who Chappelle could fight. I mean, this place has turned into a halfway house for complete air. I thought I was fighting Johnny Curtis. No. Johnny would beat the shit out of you. We need to work on somebody else cat verse Riley mouth I feel like I can take him. Oh, yeah, I think how about Chappelle and Jelly Roll? No, so much love. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

No, Jelly Roll's not going to live that long, dude. And no offense, Jelly Roll. But also, what do I know, dude? I lost $140 on Betty White. Don't take it from me, Jelly Roll. I would talk to your doctor. You know who would be great for Chappelle? I just thought of it.

Derek. Okay. Ooh, Derek Poston. Oh, dude, that's too BLM-ish. That is BLM-ish. You gotta have, yeah. I think you just can't do that. You don't wanna fight Derek.

It's just too... We're not fighting. This is just fun. Whatever makes you feel good, Chin. It's a fucking fight, dude. Oh, yeah, dude. It's a fucking fight. Are we gonna try and knock each other out?

Yeah! This ain't Tyson Roy. This is the real deal. Holy field. I want blood. Yeah, it's done. Afterwards ain't Tyson Roy. This is the real deal. Holy field. I want it done. Afterwards, it's done. Everything's cool. Nah.

I do it with my friends plenty of times. Tyson Roy was like Detroit Square dancing. I felt like I was watching it. Yeah, that shit was weird, man. That shit ain't real. Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, wait.

There's Rally Man right now. What is he saying? What happened? He popped out for a second? It's just a picture. No. All right. We'll call it cat fights.

That'd be good. Okay, but we need to fight. And I think it should be a strong woman. Do we want to bring it back like Kimbo style and do it in a backyard? Or do we want an actual ring? I don't think we're getting a ring, man. Oh, we could do a box and burn. We could do it in the living room here.

We could do it right here. Just move the table. Move the table, bro. That's the last words of somebody that dies. We could do it right here. Just move the table. Move the table, bro. That's the last words of somebody that dies. We'll do it right here. Just move the table. Nick was born fighting like that. You sure you want to do that, Chin?

You see his, he went, yeah, we'll do it here. Yeah, we'll do it here. That's how you grew up doing that shit. Yeah, just move the aquarium. That's the last words of somebody that drowns, dude. This is basically Nick's home. You're going to give him home advantage? Yeah, 100%. Dude, if you die in whatever an aquarium that's like going full circle yeah yeah

you get you gotta think about that when you if an Asian person when they go to the ocean that's like one of McDonald's for them you know it is we're very out one with the water yeah and fish yeah exactly like oh I'm just gonna go swim in this McDonald's mm-hmm think about that man y'all don't fucking think enough you can't even think enough, bro. You can't even think of a woman to fight, dude. What kind of black guy are you? Think of a woman to fight.

I can't fight a woman. Yes, you can, bro. You got to channel your grandparent or somebody. Channel my grandparent. Bro, when women used to get a, you know, and I'm not saying it's good or anything, but women used to get hit by men. Oh, look at that. Look at Riley Mal.

And some of them would fight that. Oh, they look identical. What about Erin Brockovich? Erin Brockovich? Who's that? Erin Brockovich. Tough lawyer. Best movie ever.

With Julia Roberts. She was a lawyer. Erin Brockovich. What about Legally Blonde? We're doing female lawyers. Dude, you're avoiding the conditions. Al Wood. What about Brookeally Blonde? We're doing female lawyers. Dude, you're avoiding the conditions. What about Brooke Ince? Are you gays going to fight or not, dude?

Look up Brooke Ince. They're fighting. Brooke Ince would be good. Look her up, Nick. Are they the main event? Nick Scrooge. That's the main event. Not fighting boxing.

Chin's not helping either. Chin keeps. Chin's like, oh, we'll move the table out there like, we'll just move the table out there and move around. Let's fight in the kitchen. We'll move the fridge. It doesn't have to be pretty. It's a fucking fight, Chin. Yeah, it's a fight.

Oh my God. Chappelle, I think you and her would be a good matchup. Who's that? Brooke Enns. She was in Wonder Woman. She's one of the Amazonians.

She's an American gladiator that the remake that didn't really take off or something. It was like called Tag or something. Remember that show? What does she want me to meet her at?

I think she's also in the Balco Labs as well. How tall is she? I don't know how tall she is. You care about height way too much. She's pretty hot, though. Does it not have to do with height? She's very pretty. Very pretty.

Yeah, she's really attractive. Does height have anything to do with it when you're fighting? I don't know. I mean, listen, are you guys level? Just get in there, you know? Just get in there. Got it. Yeah, she'd beat me in Theo up.

I think I could go to at least two rounds with her. I'd go six rounds with her, bro. Are we still talking about fighting? God, look at this. Yeah. If we're not, I'd go a half round with her. If not, I'm not last in the main event with her. Here's the thing.

How about you guys? Guys, send in people who you think would be a good opponent for Chappelle. Chappelle, are you willing to take on an opponent? That's a big question. I thought I was fighting Brooke. I think she's going to pass. What about Brooke Hogan? I think she's also going to pass.

We're kind of shooting for the moon here. What about Brooke Hogan? Brooke Hogan's good. I don't think Brooke's going to be down, guys. Yeah, I don't know if she's into violence. Brooke, you want to fight our fucking big friend Chappelle? Not Brooke Hogan. Brooke Hogan.

I know. Brooke came out to a show of mine in Atlanta, actually, her and her fiance. White guy. I just want to give you guys an update on that poll. 69% of people said that Chappelle would win in a fight against Chen. Wow. No respect. That's like the exact same as minus 190 implied odds.

Yeah, you're right. Put up Nick and Chen, too. Nick and Chin. Okay. And let's send in some suggestions, but are you willing to fight your ball? I don't want you to feel like you have to. I don't feel... This isn't a cock fight, okay? Listen, what kind of fight am I doing?

You're doing boxing. Boxing? It's just fighting, bro. You're fighting somebody. I already said yesterday, you know how much you would have to pay me to fight someone? Well, we're going to pay you... fight someone? Well, we're going to pay you. I know exactly how much we're going to pay you. We're probably going to pay you $450. And you get a back end of the pay-per-view. For $450?

I mean, look, you could put it live. You could probably put it live and if people wanted to buy a ticket to it. That's a good idea. Gosh. That's the good idea. Gosh. That's the move. What about the grappling stuff? I don't want to punch anyone.

We could make it. It could be Muay Thai. It could be... I'll tell you what. I don't know what Chappelle's doing. Help us out here, Brendan. You're not helping. You know everything about fighting.

You're not even helping, dude. Dude, I want Nick and Chin to fight and box, and we need a fine opponent for Chappelle. The fans don't want to see you do grappling Because you don't do jiu-jitsu, so we need to boxing everybody gets yeah We don't need to fucking fat people laying there hugging each other no Talking about two other people that would just be in the ring That would jump in but I'm just saying we need yeah, we need we need some hype You can also toss on some your hands do you want to fight you know?

No, you don't have be a female. That's where it's dicey That's what you said. Yes. I do This is a woman that will is gonna want to beat your ass. Yeah, I'm kind of into it, too Yeah, now I'm back on track, it's not we're talking about a big dude that's really awesome baby we're not talking spousal abuse we're not talking about ike turner type you know drown your wife in the bathtub no we're talking about cyborg we're talking about cyborg like getting her hands on okay we're talking about something with the bell rings dude this woman gonna come over there see how you do it you do it kyla harrison what about the girl from what about page van zandt that's a tough one pro you know and very pretty i think she's

trying to knock me out kyla harrison kyla harrison would beat all of us up yeah but you get ct you're more likely to probably work on the show for a longer time i'm just gonna be if we call you the freaking dark brendan you get a longer leash i make a lot of mistakes but i just chalk it up ct would uh cat fight rudy from bad friends oh with that sort i feel like because she's a boyfriend she's from the philippines yeah asians from the philip from like third world countries have a little more scrap in them than like asian born asians yeah we're talking about i feel like she might have me she's out that yeah i don't say easily call it i've never seen her she's cool

she's fresh out the trees calm down brendan i'm just saying 16 years old is she really yeah she's 16 she has her first boyfriend too is that true cat like 17 i someone said it's bobby's kid from like a marriage or something did you hear that i have no idea his niece from the philippines yeah sure that's something i'm gonna believe feel on this one yeah it's only a great cover-up for uh a kid that was my niece that you've never heard of yeah right from the philippines but now i will say this man a lot of Asian people will. You bring one family member in. Next thing you know, you get out the car with them and they got another family. Like, who's this?

Who's Ricardo? Watch the countdown. Who's Hector? Watch all up in the videos. All up in the videos. We do the buddy system. Yeah, a lot of buddy system, huh? Everyone has a buddy.

I told Gianni you should fight Jake Paul next, but he's like, I'd make real money. I'm not going to do it for $100,000. Gianni said that? Yeah, yeah. Wow. I bet Jake Paul made as much as he makes on a season of power. 100%. No, I bet Jake Paul got paid.

They had some back end in the ticket sales or something. They made some money. What was the money? How much money did they make on that show? They made $600K. Jake Paul made $600K and then a back end of pay-per-views. So I bet he gets around $2 million, $3 million. How many pay-per-views did they sell?

Do you know? There are so many different reports. They said $60, $600, $60,000, and then $600,000. It's $600. He ain't fighting for $60,000. No. His name alone on there is worth a million. Yeah.

Did you watch it, Theo? I did watch it man i felt like i tweeted about this i felt like i was stuck in a nightclub in jacksonville in in uh 2004 it was just like a lot of smoke a lot of rap and a lot of uh i thought it was interesting how the boxing looked like a video game a little bit when you looked at it because it's all white and black black just like yeah this reminded me of like a video game where you looked at it. Because it was all white and black. Yeah, this reminded me of a video game where you could just see what was going on. I thought it was entertaining. I'd pay another $50 for it, but how long are we going to pretend that that was a real fight?

Breaks a sales record right there, number five, four. Mike Tyson versus Roy Williams. No, that's... Dana does the same thing. He's just promoters going, this is trying to be the biggest pay-per-view ever. Like, that's not real. That's not real. That's the promoter who owns it going, we're on track to be the biggest pay-per-view ever. Like, that's not real. That's not real. That's the promoter who owns it going, we're on track to be the biggest pay-per-view ever.

Then everyone's like, oh my God, we got to get it. Like, it's just honeydick. Was there anything in like black culture where people were like excited about this? Did you hear anything from like- What, from this fight? Yeah. No, I wasn't paying attention.

He's not. Are these heroes? Are these considered heroes in the black community? Oh, Roy Jones and Tyson? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Breakfast Club was all over it. Like, I listened to them every morning, and they were hyping this thing up. But at least Charlamagne was real.

Like, a lot of people, especially in my world, were like, oh, that was dope. I'm like, get the fuck out of here, man. And finally, like, Charlamagne, Shannon Sharp, like, dude, I don't know what the fuck people are watching. Like, that was a shit show. It's just people saying what they think their bosses want them to say to keep the money. Oh, really? And I also think people have so much respect for Mike Tyson where they don't want to call it what it is. Where it's just like, it's a money play.

It was like a buddy. It was like a gentleman's agreement. It was not fun watching them hug for 16 minutes. It wasn't fun. I get that Roy was probably hugging for safety. I mean, some of those blows if he caught him with him it could have been pretty bad did you see the fight but they had an agreement they had an agreement he wouldn't hit him to the face like that so also it's like hang in there you

know yeah it's almost like um and they called it a draw right yeah yeah would you did you feel like it was a draw tyson definitely won it listen it was it was a gentleman's bet where tyson's gonna win that's why you're never gonna get tyson holyfield because holyfield ain't gonna play that game holyfield beat him twice in real combat so if you go to holyfield go hey dude we'll give you five million but you gotta you gotta let me beat you he's like get the fuck out tyson was on that muster too i felt like they had him i mean he was like yoed. Jacks. Yeah. He lost 100 pounds. Damn. Ooh.

If I'm his trainers or whatever, I have him juiced up. I have him ready to go. I don't know why Roy wasn't there. I don't know why he didn't get juicy. Roy showed up definitely like he'd been trained. Roy had that step on body. Is that juice? Is he juice? Yeah, for reals.

That's juice? I think it has to be. And no offense to him, that's what I would do, too. It's TRT, 100%. 53 to get lean like that muscle, of course. Hell, I did Juice to be in the 11th grade. I respect the TRT. Did it prepare you for 11th grade?

I remember walking through the... You don't want to get bullied? Pretty jacked, bro. Hell yeah. And it felt good. Hey, Chin, are you going to Juice for the fight against Nick? Are you going to Juice? TRT?

Nick will get on that. You're already on that. I have an update with that. What'd he say? I love Nick's attitude. Nick's going to be sauced up, Chin. Okay. He said anything. So 67% of fans said that they think Chin would beat Nick in a fight,

and people would like to see Rosie O'Donnell versus Chappelle. Put it up on the cats. I G Rosie. We fight Chappelle. Okay. What about Roseanne? No, no,

you know, let me say something. Roseanne. She keeps saying, Hey, will you, she keeps commenting on pictures and saying, what did she say?

Me DME. I've DME her five times. That's a power move, Theo. Well, it's getting powerless. It's a power move, Theo. Well, it's getting powerless. It's just bizarre. It's played out at this point. It's crazy.

That bummed me out. I was really excited when I saw that first comment. Every time she sends one, I'm like, hello. Does it show that it's red? Maybe she doesn't know how to work her DMs. But then why would you say DM me? Maybe her assistant. She's saying that and then her assistant is supposed to check him and doesn't.

Maybe shoot her a text. Get her number from Rogan. Maybe shoot my nuts onto your back, son. Sorry. So Rosie O'Donnell, okay. Okay, we're going to ask. Now, why can't my boy Chappelle get a real opponent, man? We asked him 70 times

He will offer up no one. Okay What was the percentage of people that picture? 67 so far. He looks a lot bigger in me because this GoPro We're switching spots next week We're switching spots next week. Let's get into some of the show, huh? Did you guys see David Chang? He became the first celebrity ever to attempt to guess at a million.

I don't know if you guys know what happened. Is this a spoiler? And what is he from? Is he from, wait, hold on. I know what it is. Is he a chef? No, he's from. Is he the guy on Rogan? No, no, no, no, no.

Who am I thinking of, Chin? Eddie Wong. I like him. Eddie Wong is dope. I love him. He's Korean, right? This guy died, I call it. Eddie Wong is Chinese or Taiwanese? Chinese or Taiwanese? I think Chinese, yeah. That's what I no, no. Who am I thinking of, Chin? Eddie Wong. I like him. Eddie Wong is dope. I love him. He's Korean, right? This guy died, I call it. Eddie Wong is Chinese or Taiwanese?

Chinese or Taiwanese? I think Chinese, yeah. That's what I meant, Chinese. David Chang's a popular chef. I think he has a Netflix show. Oh, yeah, P.F. Chang's. Yeah, I think that was it. All right, Mina.

Although he and his wife never touched a light switch for fear of being shocked, who was the first president to have electricity in the White House? Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, Chester A. Arthur, or Andrew Johnson? Should we call someone? Should we phone a friend?

Anybody in your phone and see if they know this? I'll go A. I'll go D. I'll go D. I would call my brother. Hey, Jay, can you hear us? Hello? Hey, Jay, can you hear us? Hey, yeah, I can hear you.

You are on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. What up, Jay? What up? Theo and Brendan are both going for a million dollars. They're on the final question. And they want to know, although he and his wife never touched a light switch for fear of being shocked, who is the first president to have electricity in the White House? Ulysses S. Grant, B, Benjamin Harrison, C, Chester A. Arthur, or D, Andrew Johnson?

It's Benjamin Harrison, 100%. Oh, wow. Then Benjamin Harrison, I go, he sounds pretty confident. Yeah, I'll go with B, Benjamin Harrison. There you go. Confidence, bravado went out. I'm gonna go final answer. B, Benjamin Harrison.

God, I wish I was. David Chang. Jesus Christ. Just won you a million dollars. Wow. Jay, you got it. Jay, you got it. Did Jay see that clip?

I probably. It was trending on Twitter. I didn't. Jay's the guy to call, though, with all those weird facts. You've been on the road with Jay. Yeah, he just does the most random shit. Like, we'll go by a building and be like, you know, in 1774, I don't give a fuck.

Remember when he was talking to us about octopus? Yeah. He just had all this knowledge on octopus. I love how Brennan gets a fact presented in his first thought. It's, I don't give a fuck. Well, it's relentless, dude. It sounds like one fact, Brennan. No, it's not.

It's nonstop, isn't it, Chappelle? When I first met Jay, I think his opening line to me was he was explaining to me why Vietnamese people like Hennessy. Did he say your kind? No, he did not say your kind. How about when I was like, man, I don't want to eat octopus anymore. I think they're really dope and they're smart. I want to eat them.

He goes, well, you could order it because you know their average lifespan is three to five years. I was like, all right, dude. Gave us the whole information on it. Dang, that's beautiful, man. You sound like a beautiful guy. What about Chappelle versus Jay Shaw? Ooh. Oh, damn.

I feel like Jay would get it. Ooh, that would be a bad idea. Yeah. Who would win? Jay can fight. Jay's better fighter than I am. Really? Oh, yeah.

See? Yeah, he has some real anger issues fight. Jay's better fighter than I am. Really? Oh yeah. See? He has some real anger issues. And I also think he's juicing. I would agree with that probably. He just laughs. Let's get into the episode. What else do we have, Nick? I do need Jay to be my witness. If the

Lakers don't win the NBA championship next year, Malik owes me $3,000. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh wow. That's yeah, that's right. Oh, wow. I was there too. That's actually not a bad bet. That's not a bad bet. It's plus $350.

That's a great bet. And you guys shook on it. Wow. $3,000. Malik needs to get off the Lakers nuts. That's the episode, Nick. Well, thanks, Jay. You just won a million dollars.

You won me a Diet Coke, Jay. Thanks. Excellent. All right, dude. episode, Nick. Well, thanks, Jay. You just won a million dollars. You won me a Diet Coke, Jay. Thanks. Excellent. Thanks. All right, dude. Thanks, Jay. New Cats merch drops Friday, 10 a.m. with the sauce. Catsmerch.com.

K-A-T-S merch.com. That's awesome, man. 10 a.m., doggy. A lot of new goodies. Christmas goodies, holiday goodies. Oh, get your side piece.m., doggy. A lot of new goodies. Christmas goodies, holiday goodies. Ooh, get your side piece of dope-ass hoodie. Mm-hmm.

Chappelle, is it okay if we let listeners see who wants to fight you? I thought it was Rosie. I don't think she may want to. Again, I like where you guys head out, and I encourage everybody. She was in League of Their Own. She's not going to come fight you. Great movie. Yeah. Great movie. Their Own. She's a great movie. Great movie. Yeah, she's good.

Too famous. Let's keep shooting though, you know? Let's keep our options open. Yep. Probably a dude. Is there another comedian? I don't want to fight. He doesn't want to fight. Oh, you don't want to fight at all? No.

Well, I asked you 20 times, man. Yeah, we have got an hour trying to think. I thought you don't want to fight at all? No. Well, I asked you 20 times, man. Yeah, we have got an hour trying to think. I thought you guys were going to put a million up for me to fight. Oh, yeah. No, we said 450. Yeah, we said 450. And a pat on the back. American dollars, though. 450 American dollars.

450 yen. Maybe we could put, yeah, we could put like 1,000 on it or something. I'll give you a million yen. How about that? No, give me you guys a zoo in Mexico. That thing burned up. Well, yeah, I mean, you can have it, you know, but you take on all the liability Yes, we're in a lawsuit right now with the ostriches. It's mostly a graveyard It's a pet cemetery at this point every small business. Yeah, you can have it dude. Yeah

It's got belly up But Nick and chin you guys are fighting are fighting. Let's pick a date. What's up, dog? Let's get on the books. Well, there has to be another fight on the card, though. Oh, we'll get some fans on there. Yeah. Maybe some fans.

I would watch Cat versus Raleigh Mell, though, maybe. Yeah. Cat would beat the shit out of him. We need more competitive shit, dude. Bro, you had offered zero ideas the entire time my idea was nick and chin was it nick well i feel like it writes itself to be honest yeah yeah nick doubted me to beat chapelle so then i said oh yeah oh that was chin's idea it's all about getting in a fight with chin all you have to do is say you think you'd win in a fight and automatically Chin wants to fight you. If I said I could beat Chin in a fight,

he'd beat me. I would not, Kat. I wouldn't. But would I be angry? I would be angry. In Vietnamese culture, is it okay? Do more women get abused, you think, in relationships? I feel like more men get abused. Vietnamese women are very, very headstrong.

We're very sweet to other people, but when the doors close, we will square up wow women are strong chin and nick have been me's girlfriends ask them hey we do you know we could do the co-main event your girlfriend versus girlfriend what no chin's girlfriend oh that's too much for you that's where you draw the line jules would her up oh i don't wanna i don't to say anything bad, but... He's probably right.

Well, my girlfriend's petite. And his girlfriend's tall. Yeah, exactly so. Because Jules is a stallion. She's like 5'9", 5'10". She took some training before. She can put a rear naked choke on me. Then we just need someone else on the damn card.

Maybe Jules can fight your belt. We'll think of someone, but the main event is Chin versus Nick, and we'll fill up the rest of the card. We'll fill it up. Okay. We have some time. We put a preacher on it. End of January.

Preacher would be the shit out of everybody in here, probably. Probably. Everybody? Maybe. Not me and Brendan. Preacher Lawson? Mm-hmm. He wants on the card. He's not even a real preacher, though. You know that? He's Not me and Brendan. Oh, yeah, not Brendan. Preacher Lawson? Mm-hmm. Yeah, he wants on the card.

He's not even a real preacher, though. You know that? He's a comedian. Yeah. So right there, who knows what he can really do. We'll figure it out. I think Preacher versus Callum is a good fight. What?

Oh, yeah, we can have Malik on the card, too. He boxes. Because Malik used to fight. But, yeah, I think it's tough because you need... Malik on the card too Because Malik used to fight But yeah I think It's tough because You just need somebody who's an equal Yeah Malik has experience In boxing that's not

We want a shit show Ari Maness vs Tony Hinchcliffe Tony wouldn't do it but I like the matchup It'd be a good fight Ari vs Chappelle might even be good I'll fight Ari. Chappelle would beat the shit out of Ari. Ari's a dog though, bro.

Ari is that thing where he like... Chappelle would beat the shit out of Ari. It's basically my people versus your people. Call Ari right now. Can you call him? Yeah, can we call Ari? See if he wants to smoke. Yeah.

Obviously, I want to tell you right now. You can tell how bad this show is getting because look where we started off. We're at the point now where we're calling Ari to fight. We started off with Liz. Hey, what's going on, man?

Are you cool with being that king in the sting? Oh, thank you for asking asking I'm cool with it what's up Ari what's up um what number episode is this 98 yeah sorry it took us a while to get to you but we we have a question brother so um a lot of you guys know ari manis uh opens with me on the road as a stand-up comedian um and we uh his book is my son's favorite book by the way ari oh thanks man that's awesome there's some spelling errors in there but whatever we figure it out we have a couple of fights that are going down somehow soon here at work. The grammar's off. And we want to know, do you think you could fight Chappelle Lacey in a fight? Yeah.

You have two months to train for it. Listen, I think it would be a bad look if I beat up a black guy. That's the only thing. Whoa! That's a good point. But let's say you don't have to worry about any of that. Do you think you could do it? Yeah.

Oh, I mean, it would be too easy i would easily kick that we got ourselves the contracts in the mail you little hoe that's what i said but i will agree with ari there was there was something about when nate got hit you're like oh shit is this gonna be you know a racial thing when nate got hit when nate robinson got hit there was a little bit of that no no no this is a fight there's no racism and there's no racism in fighting there's none there's zero that's probably it's just fine no if it's a sanctioned fight there's no racism but if i'm just coming into the king and the sting studio and just beating him up in your on your set i feel like i'll get in trouble well we also we also got a korean versus a white guy so i think you're set, I feel like I'll get in trouble. We also got a Korean versus a white guy, so I think you're going to be alright.

Yeah, you're alright. Yeah, I'm going to fuck chin up, Ari. Yeah! You freaked the thing! The fear that's bubbling. Can we make shirts? I can't get enough. Hell yeah, we're making fight shirts for this. A fight poster.

Look, I said straight up, Ari could easily handle Chappelle, I thought. Wait, Ari, how tall are you? I'm 5'9". And you're 5'10". 5'11". Okay, this is perfect. But Ari, there's something wrong with Ari. He did longboard from San Francisco to fucking L.A.

Yeah. Ari's been dead like two or three times. All right, Ari, we'll get your fucking mouthpiece. End of January, Doug. I tell you guys what, you know, Chappelle, you're a friend of mine. I would call you a friend. But anything for fame, dude, I'm kicking your ass. I love it. That's the best thing I've kicking your ass. I love it.

That's the best thing I've heard all day. I love it. Okay, we'll figure out how it's going to work, man. You get a contract in the mail. Me and Ari are going skiing. We're going skiing in Tahoe on Thursday. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, there's probably going to be a lot of chicks there.

I doubt that, Playboy. Have fun, though. You're going to have a great time. You're bringing chicks, right, Ari? Ari? I'm bringing my homosexual younger brother, so if he counts. Well, we'll see how cold it is up there.

It's going to be a real cockless on that mountain. A little broke bag mountain over there. All right, Ari, I'll talk to you later, man. Thanks for jumping on at the last minute here. God bless you guys. Thanks for having me on. Peace. We'll be in touch.

Wow. Get your mind right. Wow. We got ourselves a fisticuff. We got a fight card. We got Poirier's hot sauce as the prize. Yeah. I need someone in my corner.

We'll get cash prize too. Now I might get in your corner if you're going against Ari. Okay, thank you. That's how I am. I'll invite you over and then I'll freaking coach the dog that you don't even think is going to be in the room. I don't know if I trust that, Chappelle. It'd be like one of those mid-fight,

he switches, smashes a chair over you. I don't trust that. I'll help you get ready, Chappelle. You can? Hell yeah. I think I got it. I have small fists. I thought I had small fists.

I got small fists. Look at them fucking... And that's the name of the episode right there. I'll save you guys the time. Small fists. All right. I love save you guys the time. Small fists. All right. Love you guys. Game on.

Brendan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think. I am in flow. Black rifle coffee. I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster.

About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls' letter. Instagram famous. Damn. Hungry like I'm fresh off keto seeing red like andrew santino every song i hit like the great bambino brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos but everything's gonna be fine hate on me i do not mind theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times they sliding into my dms a couple of you trapper couldn't beat him quit Outro Music King in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting, king in the sting

Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string King in the sting, king in the sting King in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string