The Golden Hour - Erik Wore Women’s Pajamas | The Golden Hour #166 w/Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: January 9, 2026

Chris and Erik open the show talking about Erik's disastrous New Year's Eve show and airport bathroom disaster. Chris updates the guys on the problem with his new Garmin watch, and they talk about their kids making up their own rules, reverse burpees, and doing "old man tests" to make sure they are still in shape. Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastAG1 - Go to https://drinkag1.com/goldenhour to get their best offer.. For a limited time only, get a FREE AG1 duffel bag and FREE AG1 Welcome Kit with your first subscription order!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about. But that won't stop. Nothing can stop. All right. I seen Sia. Her face.

Yeah. She shows her face. Oh, okay. Her name is Sia. You ever think of that, dude? Oh, there we go. I think that's how I would think she looked. Yeah.

Because you wouldn't cover up, you know. Like Jessica Alba's face. No, I'm not saying that. You asshole. She's fine looking, you know. It's just, uh, I'm unstoppable. I like all her songs. No, she's great.

When I go to, uh, like we went, we were, we were, we were shopping at a light store because we want to get some fixtures and stuff. And then the lady comes over and says, what are you here for? And I went, a chandelie. You did? Yeah. You know I did. What did she do?

The lady went like this. The lady went like this. And then you can't stop, so then I'm walking around. You know what she said? I have some questions about this, chandelie. You know what she said? What? See ya.

I'm unstoppable. Yes. Dude. You know, I was thinking about this. I'm really unique, dude. Oh. And I'm really, I'm just, you know what I am? I wish Brendan was here to interrupt us.

Diled in. I'm dialed in to myself, you know? Like, I just. How so? Well, my podcast, I did my podcast yesterday. Uh-huh. And I had no notes. And I just went and started talking.

And I go, I don't know how I'm going to get through this. And I did, dude. And I just did it for an hour. And I just, I just, I'm unique, you know. It is very rare someone can do that. And I learned one time, I do it every week on Riffin with Griffin, Wednesdays live. Well, look, you can do it.

I do it. I do it. I don't even. No, you can do it. I'm not saying you can't do it. It's just, it's, I, when I was in on a plane with Adam Carolla once, he was talking for six hours and he never stopped. It was the most unbelievable thing. But that's all he, that's what he does.

is the most unbelievable person at that. I mean, that guy is an incredible talent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy. Yeah, he goes and goes. Yeah. I don't know how many shows he has now, but when I was there, it was 16 hours of broadcasting. He had his main show five days a week. He did 40 minutes with Dr. Drew every week. He did a car show, a building show, and a show with Mark Girogost, the lawyer. I just don't know how you, that guy is, he really is incredible. I'm not going to say he doesn't get enough credit because the guy, people love him. But my God, that guy should, people, he, he needs more credit. So I guess I'm saying that.

But like, what you gave him? You just did it right now. Yeah. I give him all the credit. Credits. And then before we get into your, I was just how was New Year's. Nasty story. Eric has a nasty story.

So please stay tuned or click out. My, my New Year's was, oh, is this your nasty story about New Year's Eve? Yeah. It's to travel on New Year's and then the worst show I've ever done in my career. But go ahead. You literally texted us. This is the worst show I've ever had in my career, including open mics. Yes.

That is just incredible. So stay tuned for that. Ooh, we should just keep it going. We should wait for the end of the show. I can't believe that. But also, mine was great. Mine was great. Yeah, you said, you texting me back.

going, well, that's crazy because I've just had the best show I've had in 20 years. No, no, no, best, best, best, new year. That's new year. That's the best, I think it's the best new year show I've ever had because they can be tricky. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you assume they're going to be bad, actually. I do. I mean, this isn't going to be the best, but you do it like corporates.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, but mine was great, dude. Like, I, I was like, you know what, mine was at seven. That's a huge thing. If it's, you know, nine or ten. If they're waiting for you to do the thing. Yeah. To do the thing from stage, that's the worst ever.

Yeah. So, and I've done that. But, uh, I didn't have to do that. Mine was, no, no, it's just. Okay, so, so my, but mine was great. The crowd was great. San Antonio is a lot on New Year's Eve, but a lot of places are a lot on New Year's Eve. Yeah.

I don't know if Redding is a lot. Is that where you were? Yeah. That's crazy. All right. So what happened? Okay. So first I start with the travel.

Okay. So I get to the airport. Yeah. I have no, I have no story even about mine. Yeah. So, am I have no story even about mine. Mine's underwhelming. Go ahead.

I get to the airport and I, you know, I, I, I hate pooping at the airport. All right. Locked and loaded. But I have to. We knew that this was going to be about pooping, by the way. So, wait, but why do you hate pooping at the airport? I just, I just don't. Not me, bro.

I go to do it. Oh, I know. You don't even wash your hands. So I, so I, I. If I don't touch my shit. I get in. If I don't touch my shit, my bed, I wash my hands. There's particles inside the toilet.

Honestly, dude. Okay. So you know. To me that there's particles. All right. We have to get like some kind of thing. It's like one of those, it's like one of those like spores testers. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like your NCS with the light. So I, okay. I have my headphones on. I have my headphones on. And I'm just, I don't know, you know, don't ever poop with your headphones on because you get distracted. So you're listening. I'm unstoppable.

Chandly. Feed up. You know what I mean? So I. I put my bag and I sit down and this is the thing. I'm a unique guy. I'm a unique guy. Can I get through my story?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. So I'm super relaxed, you know, so I sit down and I make the mistake of like, with headphones on, you know, and I kind of lean back, okay? Fat Joe. All right? I lean back like that Joe. And then Dick pops out of the, okay.

But I'm mid-pee. Oh. Bro, have you ever fucking been anywhere? this fucking guy I'm mid- I've known you for years you've been around wait listen to me

it's because I had the headphones on you know what I wish I knew what you were listening to probably some fucking so you know it's just like my brain was doing too many porn books yeah yeah her tight tunnel

I came in her tunnel so I was so then there's a thing I don't even realize it that's the other part too all right okay I don't realize I'm distracted and I'm peeing

then I realize I'm oh fuck now I've peeed all over my pants. I've peed all over my pants in underwear. Okay. And now I'm like boarding in 20, like 10, 15 minutes.

And I have no. Just piss all over. I'm just, I'm just pissy. You're peed out. Yeah, yeah. I'm pissy Pete now. And I'm like, oh no.

Thank God it's too short for like. Pissy Pete, dude. At least you're just going to Redding. Yeah, dude. Imagine if I was going to like New York. Oh my God. So now I'm like, I'm looking down. myself, I'm like, oh my God.

So now I'm trying to like clean up. Pissy Pete, dude. You know, pants are soaked. That's so stupid. Okay. Pants are soaked, underwear soaked. I don't know what to do. Why are you even telling us, then?

This is why podcasts are too much. Dude, I've done content. We got to know. But I've done 500 episodes. You've never told you a piece story? No, but I just wonder what kind of story is going to come back and be like, dude he pissed himself but I guess it doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah I mean again this is just a service announcement for everybody public service announcement never don't listen to you have phones we were listening

to lean back you know what I mean and so I just had like you know what I'm saying and it was all right get so so so so so so so I get to ready okay so let's dissect this piss thing though which I've never said before but you um so you you you peel my women might be like how the fuck does not know. It is possible the other day I was at home before we get into your and I and I was going to pee and I was texting and I don't hold

if you hold your penis to pee, you're a bitch okay okay. That's why I was like my shit. If you're large and in charge enough you don't have to hold it because that shit is just right already in the thick. My my dick is

in the bowl. Hey I'm a grower not a shower. Bro, I'm a grower and a shower. And so, oh, of course, there's some, I'm sure there's some AI coming our way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Nick's got his AI face on right now. So my dick's way down there. Okay.

It's touching the water. If my dick went, hello, it would echo. It's in the bowl. All right. All right. My dick is hitting a horror movie. Hello? Okay.

Yeah. And fucking. So, yeah, so it's down there. And I don't hold it. And so I am standing, texting, pissing, and a good four or five seconds go by until I look and realize the toilet is closed. And I go, oh, fuck. And I, and I got to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, this is, they're both pretty stupid. But yeah, yeah, that mine was, mine was incredibly stupid.

And, and, uh, but it, it, it stayed. I did it just enough to where I got it quickly and it stayed enough on the top. And I go, oh, shit. And none of it spilled off. I'm really unique, dude. Title of the show. In all different facets. Wow.

That's, that is wild. What if you look like that? Yeah. Wow. Okay. It wasn't like that. And it was because it was in the back. Yeah, because I knew it, by the way.

You know, I've done that. It's in the back. I know what I mean? So, all right. So, all right. So, all right. So I get to reading. Okay.

So first of all, let's talk about Redding. I don't know if you ever been to Redding. I have. All right. It's, it's Redding. I've been there for shows, and I've also been there because. How crazy is that? So we get to the hotel, Wind River Resort Casino,

shout out to them. You know, you check in. The gift shops closed. Okay, and you're talking about because you have wet pants? Or are you just saying? Maybe I want some water. Oh, oh, you mean it's just, The daytime and it's closed.

No, it was nighttime. Oh, you went to the day before. Still. You went to deal for. But still. Yeah, no, I get it. Everything's closed. At a casino?

At a casino. That's weird. So I'm like, okay. All right. I get up in the morning time. Also, there's no room service. She said, no, you have to just go to this like weird cafe and just order. I'm like, okay.

Have any. Preced packaged shit. You know? So then, yeah. So then the next day, you know, I'm going to get breakfast and I walk by and I see a sign that says spa. No. No, no, no, no, no.

They did they trick you? Wait, it says spa. This motherfucker. So I go, I go, I said, oh, where's the spa? No, you're a lady. You're an old lady. The lady goes like this. She goes, oh, yeah, we don't really have a spa.

Oh, okay. Listen, she left. Wow, that's really funny. That's really funny. So this, that's really funny. The spa was just some lady. She left. This is very redding, okay.

And there's a spa sign, though. Like, they, you know what I mean? They have a sign. So what did you say to her? I went, oh. Okay. She said, shut up, pissy peckx. You know, that tracks.

Yeah. You know, so that she left is funny. Okay. So now's the show. And like, and here's the thing. And this is why it was a series of unfortunate events. Because one, they have a weird buffet going. All right.

Okay, there's a buffet. What do you mean? Like in the... So in the showroom where there's going to be a show, there's a buffet in the back of the room. No. Eric. Okay. Okay.

All right. Leave. I got a good amount of money for this show. So it's like it doesn't matter to be at that point. So, you know, but here's the thing in the buffet. It was lobster ravioli. Okay. That's good.

All right. A shrimp. All right. And some kind of, you know, crab cake. Why they always got... fish shit at casinos, bro. Just put fucking chicken parmesan. Yeah, that's it.

But that's it. But that's it. And then it was like a bunch of sides. They always have Chinese food. So now here's the thing. They got the buffet going. They got the DJ going right now. Now, at a casino, especially Indian reservation, they got VIP people.

They're all sitting in the front. And when you have VIP people sitting in the front of a show, they're not really, they're not going to be show people. They're going to be old people or Indians. And they're going to be like, hey, we're important people here. So we're, you know what I mean? It sucks. Yeah.

And then, and then the front of the stage, by the way, in front of the stage, there's no seats. It's a big dance floor. So there's like a you in front of the stage. Okay. So I'm on a big stage. And in front of me is a dance floor. You got it. With people sitting around the dance floor.

I left my piss pants on. Okay. Fuck you. This is what you get. So the music's going. People are eating. And then they do it like this. It just stops.

You know. All right. Oh. That's okay, so there was that. What kind of fucking casino is this? They don't know, man. The guy was a nice guy. He just was like, it just didn't work out the way he wanted it to work out.

So then I bring my, so then I bring my opener, this guy, his name's Cooper Liden. Now, Cooper's, he's a young dude. He's funny. I think he's funny, but he's also like, you know. Out there. Yeah. I'm just guessing. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, he is. Like, this is super conservative people. Got it. Okay. And some of his. jokes are like he he's like a the way he does his jokes you know it's anyway

it's not going well right Cooper Liden and of course you know this but let's to Cooper's credit this is I mean crowds don't get tougher than this no no no no and but but he's all like I mean like I know I already saw and I know his material

so in my mind I was like oh he's gonna bomb horribly got it okay but I'm fine with that because usually I'm like I don't care. I'm a fucking pro. You know what I always say. I'm the funniest person for a thousand miles. And you know what I was thinking about this?

And I was thinking about this. I was thinking about this the other day. And I go like this. And I'm driving and I go, you know what, dude? Fuck that, man. I'm the funniest person in the world. I go like that. In my head, I go like that.

I go like this. Eric doesn't know. Until you're in a thousand mile radius of me. But anyways. So I'm thinking it's. going to be fine. This is how bad it was going for him. Okay. They gave him the light early. You know what I mean? How long is he supposed to do? He was, originally he was, okay, I bet you you do this too. Okay. They ask me, my people call, hey, how long, how long are you going to do? How long is

Cooper going to do? Okay. I always write back, how long do you want to show to be? Yes. Because that would determine to me how much time. Sure, if it's 90 minutes, it's different than, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I say, they say anywhere from 75 to whatever minutes. I go, cool. He'll do 25, I'll do 45. Fuck yeah, dude. You know what I mean? But then I saw the crowd and everything and I saw how things were going to go

and I say to him, you do 20. Yeah, yeah. I'll do the rest of the time. I find that 20 to 25 is the big leap. Oh, yeah. So he ends up doing like 17-ish. So he says this from stage. Well, they're giving me the light early,

so I got to get off. The whole crowd claps. So they were listening. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was one of those type of crowds where it was like, you know, I was like, oh, he's getting off. Great, you know. Okay.

So I was like, damn. How old is Cooper? He's in his 20s. You know, I knew, I knew he was going to be upset by it, too, you know. He's just, you know, he's, you know, he's like one of these liberal. He's like one of these allies type of guy. You know what I mean? But, um, he's a cool kid.

You know what I'm saying? I shout out there. I think he's really funny. I think he's going to do something in the future, but he's still dealing with shit. Anyways. Cool. So now I get on stage now, you know? And I'm like, you know.

Yeah, you well, then, so now you go up with a. I'm sure. And then I try to like. You go, all right. Yeah, you know what I mean? I just say like, give it up for that little. You know what I mean? Because you know that they're going to be like, fuck you.

You know what I mean? Yeah. That gets nothing. All right. Oh, wow. So now I'm like, oh no. So then I'm like, I'm trying to work on. And in my mind, I was like, let me work on this new stuff.

Sure. Yeah, you might as well. But then even in the start of that, I was like, oh, I'm not going to like make myself. feel like this isn't funny. Yeah. Because of these people. Right, right, right. So then it's just nightmare.

I'm looking at the tables. They're eating. They want to do whatever they want to do. And then there's a couple sitting to the left at a stage, right? It's the youngest couple in the front row. This is the worst because they're fans. Because you're like, oh, why did you come?

Yeah. No, all the real fans were in the back. Oh, which was great because after the show, I found that out. But this girl, this young guy, he looked like a broke Tom Brady. You know what I mean? And this woman. with like the biggest fake titties ever. And they're sitting in the front room.

Oh, by the way, Chris, it's circular tables too. Yeah, I already knew that. Okay. That's terrible and I already knew that. It's banquet circular tables. Terrible. And so people, this is the stage. There's people sitting.

Yeah. I knew that. So I'm trying everything I can do. At a certain point, I do a little, I do material I know works. I just plowing through it. Did you get some laps at least? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

It's never a zero laps. You know what I mean? You know, and then I'm messing around with it. And then I say like, man, look at the big titties right here. You know. And then I see all the wives like, you know, they're upset with this big titty chick. Oh, wow. Because it was like like visibly like, you know, you know what I mean?

I'm like, oh, you guys hate. So I'm trying to make fun of that. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And then it's like, there's like people that have been married 54 years in the front row. And I mean, it was. What a mess. It was like, when I got done, I was like, oh, happy new year.

Yeah. He's like, who's that actor? Seymour Hoffman in, uh, what's that fucking, God damn it, dude. What's the fucking shit? With Jeff Bridges fucking where he's like, Oh. Big Lebowski.

Yes. Dude. Big Lebowski where he was like, oh, ho. That's how we got off. And then I had to do a meet and green after. You know? It's part of the country. I'm like, all right.

So people are coming in. And so now these are the fans, sort of, you know, and they're coming in. Don't tell me how. I hate when they go, sorry about that crowd. Bro, I hate that. Just come do the thing. It was like, who. Some people come in.

Tough crowd, man. That was tough crowd, huh? Yeah, you know, I'm a big fan. I like you and whatever, you know. And then, like, people are like, you know, they're giving me line readings from shows. Yeah. By the way, I remember none of that when they do that. They go like this.

Dude. And they say such shit? I go, oh, yeah. Dude, I don't remember. I don't remember. And then like,

you know, so, but just the whole overall experience was just like, wow. Wow. Way to round out 2025, huh?

Yeah. That's how I thought about. I was like, well, this is, I was like, you know what? You get one of these

every, every quarter century or whatever else. Well, yeah, it's, yeah, those are few. Once you,

I mean, you've been 25 years, what? But like, how long? Yeah, almost. So, yeah, that's, that's right.

Yeah, but dude, I mean, can you think of like, can you think of your top three worst shows? Yeah, but they were all in the beginning, though. I mean, even, but even, wait, I had a bad one recently. No, no, Dublin was awful. No, but sometimes what I'm saying is, sometimes with the, don't think about,

don't think about your actual performance when you're on stage. That's not always the thing that makes something bad. Yeah, true. So much is like, there's, and there's like a level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, a lot was out of your control. No, no, but check this out too.

I know I'm having a good show or I think it's a good show when it doesn't feel like work. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So then, yeah, I've had shows where, of course. I'm always going to make them laugh. I mean, honestly, sometimes you're actually doing pretty well and you're like, they don't get. I'm not doing it. You know what I mean?

I know exactly what you're talking about. That's so stupid. Yeah, you're just on stage. And you just go, oh, my thing is like this. I'm about timing and cadence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I know that there's like a rhythm to stand up that like, and if I'm in that rhythm, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it really is flow state. Yeah. Floor state, yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. And so I go, okay, I know that I'm in this. And so I know when they're going to laugh, even if it's not. But it's, but that's when you feel like one of those like, you know, high school DJs and you're just like, okay, now we're going to do, you know, the

vaudeville. Yeah. You know what I mean? Happy New Year. That is the best AI he has ever done. He did it. Oh, wow. Casey, new job.

That is... Nick, fire again. That is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, too. So you knew exactly the scene I was talking about. Amazing. I love that. Okay. We can't watch it.

I know. I know. I know. I know. But, you know, so you just have those. I mean, I know what you mean. Like, if you think back to the beginning, I could think it's some beginning shows I had that I was like,

like one time I did a show in Montana. It was, I don't even remember the little city in Montana I was in. But the hotel was called Hotel. That was the name of the hotel. I'm not, listen, I'm not even making jokes right now. Wow. The name of the place. That sounds like a bad joke.

Yeah, but it was called Hotel. Wow. You know, and then it was one of those ones where I don't like staying in any place where the door is to leads to the outside. Yeah. Like when you open a door, you're outside. I'm, okay? Yeah.

So it was like, so it was like a, like an L-shaped building was the main building. And then another building off the side with an alley. You know what I'm saying? All right. So I was in the side building. I looked down to alley and no joke, adult bookstore strip club. So you know what kind of. So you know, and then with the bullshit.

You're looking up. With the bullshit casino, like a Montana casino. Yeah. So I get to the show and it's like in a weird room with a pool table. And like I'm standing on a milk boxes with a thing on top of it. Behind me is a curtain. Behind that curtain is two casino machines. No, yeah, yeah.

With people on them. Yeah. You know? Pool people didn't want to stop. So it was like I was like thinking back at that time. I was like, wow, this is a long trip for this. But it was just one of those like triple runs where you were like going to all these different cities.

So it was like, I've had, I can't think back to shows like that. But even sometimes you have a show like that and you remember it being like, man, I had a good time. You know what I mean? Making fun of whoever. And so sometimes it's not even about the location. It's just something about like the vibe you have with the crowd. You know what I mean?

But you know, and sometimes you have like ones. that are just like so, like I recently, when I did Madison Square Garden with Matt, I knew I was in that state. I was like, this is one of the greatest shows. And how long do you do in front of Matt? 20. Oh. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Damn, that's cool. You know, so it's like, you know, I'm like, wow. Hey guys, let's take a quick break. Chin here, one of the producers of the Golden Hour and one of the co-creators of the King and the Sting, which eventually became the Golden Hour. And we did that with the help of AG1. Now, we all know there's no right time for better health, but AG1 is the easiest and most impactful

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But that's only while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash golden hour. That's right. Drinkag1.com slash golden hour. Now let's get back to the program. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset. Free.

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Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. You're welcome. I'm doing a lot of dates with him this year, which I'm going to also get dates for myself in the same cities shortly after. So look out for that. It'll be on Air Griffin.com. And I'll be in Chattanooga and Charlotte and West Nyack, New York.

That's all, I think I sold out. No, I'm not. adding, I don't know, I think I'm adding a show. And then Milwaukee, I'm adding another one. And then Vancouver sold out. I might be adding a new to, whatever. I have a date and improv. I have a few sold out ones, but go to chrisley.com.

I'm just adding Miami again and Denver's up there. I'm adding some shows too, so check it out. And also look out, maybe there'll be a couple of dates where. Yeah. Oh, yeah, maybe. Perhaps. We'll get on, get, you know, some dates. Or we might even do a live golden hour.

We'll let you guys know or maybe it'll be a combination of that. But anyways I was asking you Do you If you wear some Say you wear some basketball shorts to go to bed Okay Do you do that?

No You don't wear shorts You just Are you sleep naked? No no Well I did until I have kids They've run in So you got to have something on

I have I have usually just Usually just underwear Sometimes a shirt Okay Well my question Even if you have that shirt So if you sleep in a shirt

Is that shirt done for you? No, not necessarily. If I put it on right before I go to bed, not necessarily, but it rarely happens

that I put it on right before I go to bed. You usually, I'll say this. Usually when I'm in bed, so this has been a real, and this can, we can segue back into this

because I wanted to talk to Casey about this, the garment that you have, okay? I, and I've talked about this on credit, congratulations at length. So go over there, but if you want to really get into the If you want the extended version, you go,

The director's cut. The extended director's cut is on congratulations. Put a link right there. You know, you put those links. It should be over here or something. If you want the DVD commentary. Okay, go over to congratulations. But I'll keep you short and sweet here.

So I got, I'm good at getting sleep. I'm very good at getting sleep, okay? I got this on Christmas. Ever since Christmas, I'm bad at getting sleep because I'm anticipating. what this is going to say. Okay? Oh, you're so excited to be like,

what am I doing? Like a fucking idiot, okay? Now, if you really want the nitty-gritty and the in-depth analysis of that, go on over, go on over it. And hear me talk about being sleeping.

It's great. I congratulations, okay? So, so, so I, but now this is very me. I'm like, and maybe you're the same way, but like, you know,

we're very opinionated. We're like, that's not what's going to be. It's not, it can't be that. It cannot be I'm getting bad sleep. Because my sleep goes from, I mean, I'm really good at getting sleep. Like I fucking prioritize it to I'm getting awful sleep ever since Christmas. The only common denominator is this. And I'm like, I am kind of thinking about it when I go to sleep.

Sleep's getting worse and worse. So now it's, what is it now? January 6th. Yeah. Okay. Last night I go, oh, by the way, it's tracking my sleep horribly. Or in some nights it's not even tracking. my sleep, which is annoying as fuck, I don't get it.

So I want to fight you for that. For no reason. Just you have one and I need to take it out on somebody. And so last night, I cannot get to sleep. And I'm like, this sucks. And usually, like, when I can't get to sleep, it's because of my restless legs.

I will masturbate, knock out. There's the only, nowadays, it's the only time I masturbate, honestly. when I have to, and it sucks. I'm like, ugh. And I'm not lying to you. I don't do it for fun.

It is a chore, dude. Okay. So, and you can hear all about that. I'll congratulate you. There's a cum sample. Yeah, for the Patreon members. And so, sign it from Patreon.

And so, and by the way, if you sign it for this Patreon, you get a little bit of Eric's piss. So, I'm suddenly, pieces of this pissy underwear. There you go.

So there you go. So I, last night I just go, fuck it. I take the watch off. Okay. How can you even sleep

with a watch anyway? Well, that's huge. That would be so... It's actually not even that big. Oh, I couldn't even. Well, that's good. That's actually the same size. He's just little.

So you sleep with that on, huh? Yeah. Yeah. No problem. Okay. His watch looks like this because he's... what is it when oops so and that's why i can't sleep because it goes oh so god damn why can't i sleep

and so all right so and it always tracks your sleep always yeah i don't know what the fuck is how loose is it around your wrist it's not then that's that's strange yeah so anyway maybe i hit a button or something but whatever so i take the watch off and i go all right fuck it you win garmin and then I I sleep like a fucking baby, dude. I go to sleep. I sleep like a baby and I wake up and I go,

it's probably like 4 a.m. because I always, I just want to have been doing the past two weeks. And it's fucking 7.30. I got to take Calvin to school. Oh, no. And I'm like, how did I,

it's the watch. This is so shitty, dude. So, so I guess I'm going to try to watch again tonight. But if I can't get to sleep, I take the watch off and then conk right out. you're in your head

you in your head I'm like a pitcher yeah you know you're just like you're like ooh and they can do this and that and you also in your mind you want to watch it work I know how stupid is that

it's like you're in an MRI machine you know you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know how stupid is that dude I'm doing it to myself so what was the tangent I went off on in the thing

and what we were talking about does anybody know I don't remember. No, but you should jack off before you put the watch on. I tried that, yeah. Of course he tried that. And my heart rate goes up. Yeah.

And then you can't sleep. That's what I'm saying. I go, oh. And you're watching. Like, something's wrong with you. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Then it called. So cool.

Nah, I don't know. We were talking about something about the, we were talking about the sleep? Or was it was you? It was your thing. And I said, we'll get back to it. Oh, he asked if you sleep in basketball shorts. Casey for the win No no no what I'm asking is

Whatever you sleep in Is it done? Is it done? Meaning like you when you wake up You put it in the laundry basket Like that's what I'm saying Yeah I wouldn't necessarily I don't do that Because I don't wear really

Too much close to bed But I wouldn't necessarily know Especially with a shirt And shorts too yeah Fuck it If you're gonna be around a house And just go out and get something Yeah Rachel's

Done yeah It's done Yeah So like I have to hide my shorts Oh oh she'll take Like yours and, oh, God. Well, for her, she probably got like a nice night, night pajamas. Oh, my gosh.

You know, I told you that picture. She, she tricked me. Rachel tricked me. Wow. And she said, I got some matching pajamas. Oh, that's hilarious. For us, you know. And it turns out she didn't get male pajamas.

She just got big auntie versions. That's great, too. Of her pajamas. And then didn't tell me. This guy's just wearing, and I was like, pajamas pissing all over himself. But it felt weird. I was like,

these don't fit right. It's something about it. It's supposed to fit your pussy. They had bell bottom, you know what I mean? Bell bottom, and then like the front was like, it was just weird.

And I was like, these are women's. She goes, I know, but they look so cute on you. I know. She knew. She knew.

Incredible. Women are incredible. Oh, and here's another one. Here's another. Rachel moment. So she found some place that she likes getting sweats from. It's like special kind of sweat. They're really, they're really nice. But they're having some kind of go out of business sale or something. And she goes, they're $7 each. And I said to her, and I said, hey,

$7 each sounds great. But you do understand you're not saving money if you buy 100 of them. Also, how about, yes. Very good point. Also, how about the space? Like to have that all, where are you put it. Stop hitting the desk so much. Sorry. It's okay. You're doing it a lot this episode and it's inexcusable. Hold your hands. I'm special. That's what you're doing now. And that's what he's doing now too. Because of the death.

Really? Really? Look at the tithes you and the sleeping. Oh my God. It wasn't like that, but that's hilarious. I wish it was like that. With the bracelets. And it came with the wig. So, why you did wear a wig? space of it is because yeah it doesn't matter right like the closet is i don't know our master bedroom closet is just like i don't i i have like a small section yeah you know and it's just

all her nonsense is it dirty is it messy no so she keeps that's the one place that's not messy that's hilarious like she really like yeah it's like everything so when you have you have uh like house cleaners or uh what do you call them yeah yeah yeah we have a housekeeper Housekeepers. And then... She's already fired them twice and brought them back because she thinks, you know,

she's like, they stole our towel. You know? That's hilarious. Yesterday she said that. She's like, I think they stole one of your towels. That's hilarious.

I said, maybe we'll find it. It'll show up. It's someplace around. And also, who cares? But my thing is, why would they do that? Yeah.

Why? Yeah. Why would you still? Because they're seeing if they can get away with the bigger stuff. I'll start with the towel. No, it's like when

It's like when a place charges your credit card a penny just to see if it's like it. Yeah. So, okay. All right. So you, what about you guys? If you sleep in something, is it done? That's the question. You can sleep in something.

The question. Let's not say it's the question. It's the question of 2006. You can wear it to putts around in for a little bit, but after the shower, it can't go back on. No, that's not true, though. That's interesting. Rachel's just like that, too. But that's not really true if you think about it.

You can do it. And it's fine. There's no, you made up a fucking rule in your head. No, that's not. Which I am, that's all I do. Yeah. But. Well, I have a poop shower.

So next to my, in my office, I have a bathroom with a great shower. So if, you know, you know, sometimes you sit down and you have one of those where you go, you know what? We got to take a shower. but Eric it's not even there's a shower shit you know what and fuck you

everybody that's listening knows what I'm talking about we've all been there okay but what I'm saying is but it's the fact that you call it a poop show is the worst part

so then I have so in that instance I might be sitting in these clothes and I might be like oh you know what God I took a poop when I'm like, I don't like this cleaning process. I've gotten a wipe 10 and I'm like,

you know what? We got to get into the shower. Now, at that point, do you put the same clothes back on? Yeah, that's the question of 2006. That's a little bit of a more unique, better question. If you want to in-depth, you go to Griffin with Griffin.

I'll show you the shower. We have a whole. Try to get an expert on for next week. Yeah. We need to get the expert on To show that he should wash his hands Regardless Yeah

So yeah I don't think it matters that much Really close you know But I gotta Well sometimes I feel like that Sometimes I go Oh you know I can't

So then I end up having to walk through the house You know I gotta go upstairs Carrying the dirty clothes And just you know what I mean What I should do is just keep some Well from moving forward I'm carrying underwear in my carry-on bag

Come on, bro That's you giving up Now you're gonna start Just fucking be in old And pissing on yourself It's just just in case I did this Because I did these

I saw this guy I follow this guy on Instagram He's good He's a workout guy And he does He was like You gotta try to do these I already worked out that day

And I But I was like This is perfect I could do a little They're called reverse burpees Reverse burpees Yeah I don't even like burpees

Yeah You couldn't do reverse burpees. They're crazy. You have to be very flexible. And I was like, he says, do 100. You don't know that. Yeah, I know this. And that you can't do that.

It's a crazy thing. That's what we're going to do. I'm going to do reverse burpees. That's right here. There's no way. Look at that. There's no way you can do that. Are you kidding?

About 4% of people can do that or less. Nick, can you do it? I want to try. Yeah, we also try. Casey, can you do it? Casey, maybe? You golf. Yeah.

let's see if Nick can do it Yeah Nick's gonna do it right here You're gonna record Put it what I just want to see it again Okay

Oh yeah yeah yeah Cairbert don't hit your head On the fucking desk I would start down No I'm saying Well you have to sit first It's like a sit first But I'd start closer to this wall

Otherwise can you hit your fucking head on the desk Just don't hit your head on the desk Is what I'm saying All right Oh you start down Yeah, and then back up. Yeah, that's the part. Really?

That's the part. That's the part. Because you have to be, yeah. Okay. You have to get back up right there? Yeah, okay, so he's going to die. He's going to die. Yeah.

One day. And he'll be able to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's already standing up. Oh, look at him. I'm already bossing it around. Moving the speaker and shit. Just knowing what's up.

Yeah, he can do it. Yeah, he can do it. You can see, you can do it. Ah. So, you can either do it or you can, whatever. I think so man wants to try it again. Fuck that kid. That kid has been eating me.

But it's that's... You really got to be upset if I do it. Most people... I'll do one next week. You'll roll back and just hit the wall there. But no... You don't know that. No, I know.

Into the next podcast. Oh, hey, what are you guys doing? And so... So, anyway, the guys, like, do a hundred of these... A day. And you're fucking being in crazy shape. And I'm like... Oh, there's a lot of those.

There's ones that said, do 100 pushups a day. Yeah, no, no, I know. That's all you need to do. So I did 100, right? And, uh... they're harder than burpees because of the core aspect. You got to keep getting up like that. But I did it after and it was fucking awesome, bro.

And I felt so good, dude. And I guess that's the story. It was worth it. Yeah, it was good. We got good. Yeah, we got a little live action. Have you done the like wall walk ones where you like go backwards up the wall? With your hands on the floor?

Yeah. And then back down, those are hard. Oh, no, I haven't. I don't think. Give those a shot. I will. But I have done... I love it.

You can't do it in the rollback chair. One, Nick says. Nick said one. Yeah, but I'm obsessed with working out. I could do them here. That's what I should have done. Try it here. Reverse burpees is...

I don't know, man. Let's see it again. Like, this seems like, Jesus. Who comes up with this stuff? I was doing with my kids. It was hilarious. So you have to go down. And then, oh, wow.

It's about to get up. It's also like hip mobility. How close can you get? Exactly, yeah. That's probably the number one thing why people can't do it. Oh, yeah, your butt is touching your fucking back of your foot.

Yeah. That, first of all, I couldn't even. But that's what I'm saying. That's the part. that cannot be done for most people. And there's, and, and, yeah. Well, I remember when I was working out with this trainer, the whole thing was about, he was,

he kept telling me about how I get up. Like, you know, don't touch anything when you get up. You don't even realize how much you, even if you're touching your knee or you're like, you know, just get up off the ground. But I, I purposely don't do that. I purposely get up without doing that. Yeah, yeah.

So that, that's the tough one. Because I, I know that, I have like all these like old man tests in my head where it's like, if I, you know, I'm 45, it's not like I'm fucking 70, but like, or 65, whatever. But, yeah, I purposely go, like, I can get up without touching anything very easily now. And I'm like, but that's not always going to be the case, you know. So I just have to make sure I always keep doing that.

And here's another one. When I go down on the ground, a lot of times I'll only use one leg because that, you're very fit if you can do that. If you could just go down just with one leg and not use the other leg. What do you mean? I should do it here we can't see he's got it so you go like this

wait wait wait like this I don't use this leg or I do the left one did you get it yeah dude so yeah because if you can do that

that's really good but like one day you're just not going to be able to do that you know it's the getting up that I you don't even realize that you're doing all that So I try to do that too. I just try to just get up. Yeah.

It's hard. It's like, I was like, oh, oh, I touch my, oh, why am I touching? Why am I holding on to it? Yeah, yeah. I got to have an Indiana Jones whip with me at all times. But just to get out of bed. Rachel's sleeping. She's going to be, but even like, oh, this is the one like.

I'd love to see you get up. Like getting out of a bathtub is like... Well, bathtubs are fucking disasters. That's what I'm saying. So this is what I have to do in the bathtub. So I get in the bathtub, you know, I'm in there. We have this big tub. It's just like crazy.

I love it. It's crazy big. I don't always do it. But sometimes, you know, like if Wolf wants to take a bath, I'll be like, all right, I'll get in them. You know what I mean? So this is what I have to do, though. I have to turn around and get on all fours. Oh, wow.

Do not tell me that. I don't want to think about it. I have to get on all fours. and then I can stand up so I don't I don't want to slip you know what I mean how vulnerable I'm telling me people you know what I know why she got you those women's PJs people get hurt in bathrooms all my mom did my mom broke her something a while ago all right not bad when you're on when you're on the road man not bad you're to be careful like when I get when I'm getting out of a thing on the road I'm holding on yeah yeah because I'm like I'm not going to be

the the freaking housekeeping is not going to find me passed out in a pool of blood. But they are though. That's how you go out. In red in California. And yeah, the housekeeping will find you and then Rachel will fire them. Dude, the I, there's a joke there,

whatever, just do it in your own head. I'm taking the day off. And so if you want to in-depth analysis, you're going to go. And so, but yeah, the tubs are great. The tub at home at our house, the best tub that we have that we watch the kids in

is built into, it's not one of those like standing tubs with the feet and shit, you know, it's built into the wall, which a lot of tubs are. But the, to get in the tub,

there is too, there's too much space like to get over. Oh. So I could do it. I'm 6'2, right? But, and you know,

Chris can do it. She's seven, five, but for the kids, they can't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They have to like crawl all over. Yeah, which, okay, it's fine. But getting out of the tub, it's freezing. This is freezing,

right? Because it's a stone. It's a marble, right? And so I have to go. What a flex right there, huh? Well, yeah. When I missed her,

it's a big tub. And so, so I have to, so I have to, so I have to get them out. But when I get them out, I'm like too top heavy. Do you understand?

Yeah. Because this parts too wide. Right. And, and, uh, wow, I couldn't be happier talking about this, right? What is that? This is just like that stupid picture of us at your house. Like, Chris and I look like, you know, we're both, the kids are sitting on the couch and we got our phones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but like, you know, because sometimes Chris is like, why don't you fucking think or talk about shit that matters? And I'm like, don't want it. I'm so happy talking about the length of this fucking And I haven't even brought it up to her Because I know she's not going to care, dude But but but it's too long there

I said it and and and and and and And somebody's gonna fuck their backup and you know what It's gonna be me yeah Because you're the one lifting and and I And I and I and I and you know what that that's the reason I don't like bath time That's it. That's the only reason I don't like bath time You know Wolf will he likes to stand in the tub and sit in the shower.

Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. It's not a goofball. Yeah, it's annoying. What's up, Casey? Well, I propose solution to the issue. You need some sort of weight to anchor your feet that you can use leverage to be over so you don't topple forward.

Oh, just get there. Piss pants and wear them? Yeah, then you could do the- Like what? Like what do you mean? Like snowboard boots on the ground. I mean, if you have a dumbbell in the gym or something like you could put it out of your feet, something weighted that you can kind of grab. with your feet and use your hamstrings to...

Yes. But still, I feel like it's bad for my lower back. You just get on your knees. But then... No, but then it's too wide. I'm like, I can't... You got a squat. Yeah.

I don't know what the move... So, I don't know what to move it. Put those fuckers in the shower. That's what that is. Yeah, try putting Billy in a shower, dude. He doesn't like the shower? No. Oh, my God.

Wolf loves the shower. Really? Yeah, it's unbelievable. But then he's like, we have all these, like, toys that he like well he just likes buckets and stuff yeah yeah oh man no kids like buckets are the winner yeah he's just being a shower filling up water and you know that hacky joke where it's like oh you don't you just get your kids the box it's like do you just play with the box more than a toy you know it's like it's so fucking true yeah it's it really is it's just it's just like and you

spend fucking, you know, $65 on some fucking talking shark robot. And it's like, not me. No, no, I know, but people do it. But here's the thing, too. Well, you know what? The biggest thing, my biggest advice for anybody like that's having a kid or let go the idea that games need a certain type of rules. Because these kids are not going to follow those rules.

They're going to make up their own rules and let them do that. He's not a fun. Have fun doing it. No, dude, I'm saying like this. The next stalling. If he wants to, like, he has a T-ball thing, you know, and he won't hit the ball. Okay. He hits the whole T-ball thing.

Well, yeah, I mean, that's his thing. But he likes doing it. It's pretty. Even though I show him and he's done it a couple times, he's like, no, I want to do this. Gosh. Or maybe it's, like, yeah, that makes sense. Maybe it's like, you know, like, for football, you're like, hey, you got to throw the ball this way. But he's like, no, I want to do like this first.

Yeah. You kind of got to just like, you know. You know what you want them to do, but if they don't want to do it like that at first, when they're under four. You want them to know if they're doing it wrong, it's a choice. You do it. You go ahead.

Live your truth, dude. Yeah. You want to hit that T-ball fucking thing? Do it. Yeah. You want to do that. But don't get frustrated by it is what I'm saying. And like, oh, he's not doing this right.

It's like, yeah, they'll do it right eventually. Yeah. I just have a feeling of like it'll work itself out. That's how I feel about it. And I think that comes with age. Yeah. Oh, for sure. And I'm still figuring it.

But for myself, I ask my dad all the time. And so, but, yeah, Calvin is Mr. like to Billy. He'll be like, no, no, no, that's not how you do it. You do it like this. And it's so funny because I'm like, oh, that's exactly what I probably. Well, you know, well, I find that Wolf is at an age right now where he is Mr. No. Like, like, because I'm asking him to do it a certain way, he's like, no. Yeah.

I want to, you know what I mean? Like, even if he's like eating. Yeah. And like he's trying to stick the, the fork in. to whatever it is. He's not doing. I go, let me show you. He's like, no!

You know what I mean? And I'm like, okay, go ahead. Spill it all over yourself. Who cares? It's that kind of stuff. So I just kind of go, I go, that will work itself out, is what I'm saying.

Did you, um, you love, God, Calvin and Billy are into this thing. It's mostly Calvin because he's the one dictating the controller and stuff. But like, he'll just find a thing and like run with it. Like, it, like, it, like, The other day in bed, I was putting my bed and he was like,

do you ever like a thing and then don't like it anymore? I'm like, yeah, dude. He was like, because like, I loved Rainbow Friends. And I, and then I, like, loved alphabet lore, like, right after that. And then now I, like, really don't care about alphabet lore. And I love Sprunkey. Yeah. And I'm like, okay.

can I talk to you about the length of the bathtub? What do you think about? I think you'll understand. What if he went like this? Bro, I'm in. No, are you kidding to be a montage of talking about shit like that? What I want you got and it might be hard to handle. It was just fucking flame burning candle.

Calvinite. That's fucking directions. Hey, you. Make of my dreams. Come true. You just look at the camera. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, so, so, so, and I go, why, why did I bring that? Why did I bring that up?

So, oh, because, oh, because he's on alphabet. I was like, yeah, it's okay.

So we went back to alphabet lore. An alphabet lore, bro. Pull up alphabet lore. Sprunkey's one thing. Isn't that a Gary Goldman bit? What is that? That's a good joke.

He's just got a really famous alphabet bit. Oh, does he? About how it started. Oh, oh, okay, yeah. But not alphabet lore. Wolf loved Miss Rachel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And now he just wants to watch Danny Goh. Right. So, but I guess my question is he's still pretty young, but like, is Danny Go done? Almost. Or I'm sorry. Is Rachel Go? Wait, Rachel Go? Is Rachel?

Yeah, he doesn't. What's her name? Miss Rachel. Is she done? Yeah, he doesn't want to. Even if it comes on, he goes, no, I want Danny Go. But wait, but even Danny Go now. Got it.

there's so many videos I'll put a video on and he'll go like this no no he only wants two he likes the robot one and this other one so now we're just to find something else I'm a robot yeah I'm a dancing robot yeah that's the one yeah

I give him my no no no no no no yeah the guy fucking that shit slaps but anyway alphabet lore so he loves these are all the letters by the way great to learn letter

you should show it to Wolf oh yeah we'll check this out so so F is the favorite okay hell yeah you like that the F I mean yeah

Nick likes that it's like forbidden letter yeah yeah yeah F word so that's cool and F is the one so they all say their sound they purposely made the N

not black you notice that because they easily could have been black. So, but so they all, they say this is a good, because they say the, like, C is C and A is, B is, like they all do it differently, you know what I mean? Well, that's just like Miss Rachel, they have that, you know, you know, the, it's called that song, Phonics, Phonics.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But Alligator, ah. you know but this is every time they talk like k is right do the whole thing i could at this point the only one i don't really love is q but the uh but so so so so so they also have the lower case one so whereas you know i will be i that's i and then the lower case would be like you know it's like a little different right yeah so uh my son was just walking around going

y'i-off a y'off right you're a cat you know like what the yeah because he got a hairball and so

and then and then Billy walks by and off and I'm like oh what is going on is this fucking is this the exorcist so so so

I'm like okay now I find out that it's this and that's what F does and F's the favorite okay for them they love F They do the kind of thing where it's like, Calvin's like,

no, I'm F. And Billy's like, I'm F! And then a fight, I'm like, you guys guys, you can both be F,

you know? And then they walk out. And they go like, okay, a y'off, a y'off. And they just start walking around. So I got too crazy people in my house.

But here's the thing. I let that ride for a few days. And I go, you know, let's sit down. Let's look at these fucking things, dude. And I'm watching them.

and I have a favorite one and it's not F what is it but you want to hear yeah there we go this is great yeah let's listen to some shit dude let's go see man

man I'm really into this stuff wow see oh this is not the I think this is fan made hold on no it's fan made fuck these guys

fuck out of here fuck out of here with this shit isn't that the lower cases no it's not Should we do our own? No, it's not. No, this is... There we go.

There we go. Yeah, bro! A's Italian. A. B. Yeah. He flies away. So, uh...

See. Yeah. He really likes C too. These are okay. So... D. F. That's awesome.

F's a bully. So... Keep going. Let's keep going. He's fucking them up. Dude, F's kind of, you know, we get why they like. So there, oh, wow, this really goes into the lore of it. So stop, so go back.

So go back and get, get out of this. So this is what I was like, bro, the lowercase P is so, and don't play fan made or fake ones. The lowercase P, I'm watching this, I'm watching a whole thing like this. It's kind of funny, lowercase P, and I go, oh, Calvin, that's the best one. And he goes, really? And we watched it so many times. And we love, and I love it. And here's the thing.

And I talked about this in death of congratulations. But I told him P is my favorite. This was days after he was telling me F was his favorite. And then I went upstairs. And then I overheard him talking to my wife, his mom. And she said, which one's your favorite? And he said, P

and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I because it was so cute yeah because he likes what dad likes now To bring us to bring us home can we hear the lowercase P but is this a fan made one I don't know funny pee is so far in a way the best one and it really is annoying that somebody might think another one is I'm talking about your kid whatever you go like whatever you want, but a grown-up? What's going on here?

The F is frozen? I don't, I think this might be a fan main one. Oh, we'll just play a little. It says alphabet. Right there says, Alphabet Lord belongs to Mike Salcido and maybe if you find their page. You know what I mean? Lowercase number, there it is right there.

Oh, no, no, no, I've never seen this. Too much music going on. They don't fall in love. It's not like that. Oh, here you go. Okay, here we go. The lowercase P. Yeah.

No, okay, well, that's part of it, but that's not the whole thing. They really got a whole thing that they do it. It's fucking outstanding. Hold on. It's got to be that one. Even that's funny to me, though. Okay. Oh, wow.

Look at this shit. Look at this shit. Oh, my. Nah. You know what? Oh, you know what? I'm going to my YouTube history. Hold on.

Let me go on my day. Fucking YouTube. Oh, no, it's on Kristen's account. Fuck. That's what you did. You have to. All right. I'll just do it for you.

I'll do what P does. You have to subscribe all of... You know what P does it do? It's awesome. It goes like this. I know how many times it does it, but it goes like this. And bro, I fucking... It does 13 kisses.

And then says P and... And that's fantastic. And that's it. That's all I... That's all I have to say about that. I don't give a fuck. Well, thanks for watching. But no, but 13 kisses, bro?

Here we go. Okay. We have to do another one, by the way. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's all okay. So this is all about... Oh, P's a lady.

I didn't know that. That makes sense. Oh, is it a mustache? Ha, ha, ha. Element O.P. Okay. You know, I like that shit, dude. I like that.

I like that. I like that. You know what? My dad, when I was a kid, I used to think, I used to wonder, I would watch TV with my dad,

and I used to wonder, he would laugh so hard at cartoons. And I would be like, even as a kid, I was like, that funny, you know? And now,

when I watch cartoons with my kid, I think they're fucking funny, bro. You ever, you ever catch yourself, like, you're watching, and then they're not even there anymore?

You literally did a part of, have you heard my act? Were I talking about that? No. dude that that's hilarious that's a literal like part of my act where I say like sometimes as a father I said something that happens as a father I said you know

another thing that happens with your father you watch the TV because I talked about how we're watching TV together and then I'll just be watching TV with Calvin and then I'll turn to say something to him and he just won't be there and I say how long am I watching this for fucking literally that's that's so funny wow okay so um there be some dumb shit like super kitties or something yeah just be there like just watching the whole episode and then you get to a point where you're like I got a

finish this. Oh, that's time. You don't know what happened to the kids not even near. That doesn't fit with my thing, but that's funny. Chattanooga, I'll be there. Charlotte, North Carolina, I'll be there. I got a bunch of Montreal sold, I think Montreal sold out, but, uh, and then, oh, I'm going to Australia. Canada. Canada, huh? I keep forgetting that. I keep forgetting I'm going to Australia and New Zealand. Uh, Austin, Tacoma, you know, uh, Cincinnati Theater, Columbus Theater, some theater, San Luis Theater. Little Rock.

Anyway, go to ChrissyD.com and get what's up. And remember, and never forget. Let's see. I'm going on the... He fucks a lot of shit up. We were mated breath.

Really? He fucks a lot of shit up, dude. Oh, you were doing the thing? Oh, sorry. Yeah, it was very obvious. You heard all the kisses. Go to congratulations and you could hear a whole 10 minutes. How could you ruin my landing?

Yeah. Like that. There's never been such an obvious landing. I'm going to be in the... This is important. I knew it was going to happen too. Raleigh Improd. I wasn't sure.

Yeah, I got, you know, my dates are spread out, but I'm going to be in this place called Circus Street in Iowa. You make shit up. Yeah, it's weird. And I'm going to be on a this important cruise, if anybody's interested in going on that. A what? A this important? Yeah, it's the workaholic? No, no.

But that's not what it's called. Yeah, it's called the This is important. This is important. You made it the black version. Yeah, this is important. This man important. This is, you know what? What cruise is that?

I'm tired. They're doing a cruise. Fucking this important shit. I can't stand you. Hey, hey, hey. All right, guys. We'll go out on that. Appreciate you.

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