The Golden Hour - Fighter from Perplackistan | The Golden Hour #176 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

The guys talk about how much their wives contribute on the monetary side, their birthdays, fake holidays, Erik's experience at Ocean Prime in Beverly Hills, what combat sports are missing, what if Brendan fought right now, Nate Diaz vs Brendan, current UFC stars, the World Classic Baseball event, Brendan now coaching Tiger's football team, Erik's experience sleeping on Matt Rife's tour bus, the upcoming Golden Hour Live show in Austin, Texas and much more!Get this episode AD FREE + 2 PATREON ONLY episodes/month only at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastETHOS - Get your instant, free quote at https://ethos.com/goldenhourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. He told her get him a trap. He loves shoes. Get him a travel bag for shoes this way. Now, now, see, now, I knew this was what was going to happen. I knew he was going to be like, oh, sweet, you know what I mean? Sweet deal.

Can we replay? Let me just fit my shoes in it. You know what I mean? Like whatever. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about, but that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, are you guys excited for Austin? You guys are coming my neck of the woods.

Live show Friday. I look forward to seeing you, buddy, actually. I know. I know. Get my hands on you, boys. Come to the live show. I like the sound of that. Come to the live show tomorrow, right?

Because this comes out Thursday. Yeah, this comes out Thursday. That's right, Chris. Christopher. Tomorrow. We will be, and, and we should say this is important, but it will be on our Patreon for the people who can't make it. Oh, okay.

Right? Yeah. Was it a main episode? I didn't know. Oh. Patriot. It's not going to be a main. Okay.

All right. Well, we'll figure that out then. No, we did. And also, Chris is going to be there at the same place that Friday and Saturday. So come to both. I might show up. Anyone could drop by. Somebody could drop by.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Drop some comedy. Yeah, some real comedy. Eric, are you in town just for this and you're sticking around or you have other shit going on? No, no, no, I'm going to stay. You know what I'm just, you know what I'm just, you know. Be fun. Yeah, so I want to, you know.

Using them. You know he's using them points, bro. You know I got my points, honey. You know he's using them point. You staying at the Ritz again out here or what with them points. Hey, listen, man. I'm. Chris had.

I'm over 50. Okay, so I care about comfort over everything. Yeah, yeah. Comfort over everything. Yeah, that'll be my rap song. So I'm like, I'm going to be at a good hotel, which my credit card gave me $300 off. There you go. That's good.

Yeah, that's when I'm staying there. Dude. And it's right down the street. This guy's staying 10 miles away from the clubs and stuff, which I don't understand. Don't care. Dude, I can't wait. Are you in an Airbnb? No, I don't do that shit.

I'm fucking out of here. You're in a hotel 10 minutes, 10 minutes away? I don't know. I heard it was a good hotel because some of your boys were like, you got to stay here. I was like, all right. I know, but it would have been better to stay near me. I know, I go everywhere. That is true.

But I'm chilling, bro. I'm mobile. You know me. I'm mobile. And we could all say chins. I'm staying with chin. Well, yeah, but. In the bunk bed?

Does he have that fucking fridge smell, though, that Asians have? Yeah, it does. Yeah. It smells like kimchi. Too many rice cookers and vases everywhere. No, but It's gonna be hot when you boys are out here Yeah, I'll tell you what, it's real hot today

It's like 90-something here now So what's it? Yeah, yeah, yeah If not, it's gonna be. And our air conditioning broke So that's great. Really? Yesterday.

You're supposed to You're supposed to get that service Like today. No, but I'm saying They're supposed to come two times a year One during the heating time. All right, well. Okay.

All right. What are you doing? What are you doing? I didn't. schedule my air conditioning guy enough twice a year. Yes. Who even says that to somebody else? Well, you got to schedule.

Like what the... I'll tell you why because of the issues I had with my thing. I know you said. Yeah. Okay. But I'm wearing green. It's under warranty. Oh, that's right.

St. Patrick's Day. Are you just being reminded now? Yeah, we got a pink year. Well, this airs on Thursday, so St. Patrick's Day was two days ago. Right. But I'm saying... But I'm saying...

But I'm saying... Did you remember, did you not remember until now when I said it? I did. And my birthday's tomorrow. Oh yeah. That's right. I totally forgot. So, so because I just had my birthday on the 12th and Chris's birthday is coming up on the 24th.

9th, 29th. 29th. Yeah. That's what I said. We're all fucking doing it, man. We're just getting older, aren't we? Yeah. But, but the, uh, the, uh, the reason why I have green on is because Calvin is a festive

motherfucker dude. He woke up. too had your outfit laid out no so i pick out his clothes you know and i'm and i know him so i'm like all right let's get ready for for uh school and i i'm like i got a green thing because he'll lose his mind if i don't like literally he'll literally be like this is not you know so i got the greener shirt and i got pants that were like uh army green or even like more muted than yeah yeah yeah but that's what he have yeah yeah that's what he had though so uh i bring him in my room to get dressed so i bring him in in my room to get dressed. So I bring him in my room and I say, here you're clothes, bud,

and I take a shower and then I come out of the shower. And usually he's at least half dressed, right? Because he's so slow. I mean, so slow. It's unbelievable, bro. The distraction level is incredible. And so I say, so I say to him, I'm like, all right, get dressed. I come out of the shower. He's got only the green shirt on. And he's like, Dad, He's like, these pants, I don't like them. They're not green enough. Fair point. Sure.

But I'm like, okay, but these are the pants you have. You know, who has like green pants? Yeah, he doesn't know. He don't know that. Kelly green pants. You got to be something you talk about with him later in life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a time you wanted green pants.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, at best, guys have olive pants. Yeah. You know? And that goes with like a jacket Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know. So, so I'm like, I don't have, I don't, I, we don't have green pants.

This is the greenest. And he, he says, yes, I do. And so I say, all right, go get him. Yeah. He goes in his closet and comes back. Like, green is shit, dude. They're so green. Oh, he found them.

And, and they're, and their sweatpants. And I'm like, it's going to be really. hot today just so you know and he says i don't care he's so festive dude he's down hell yeah yeah and then and then i i put on you know for him i put this on yeah a little green here and green on my shoes and and and then i said calvin look i have green sunglasses there in the car but um i put them on and he was like oh can i wear those today so funny and they're just so big i'm like you can't green on green but you know at our age well especially i'm the oldest like what holidays at this point

do you just not give a about? Okay, you know what I mean? Just think about it. Like, there's so many holidays. If you had to rank the holidays that are like, and count your birthday as one of those. But you're not counting the fact

that obviously now Halloween's fun because the kids. I know, I know, but take the kids out of it but I'm with Eric. Take the kid like Christmas for the kids is dope. I'm saying don't take the kids out of it. I'm saying, don't even take the kids out of it. Oh, okay.

Because even for you, like, because Halloween for me, you know what I? Even with the kids. Even with the kid. You know what I mean? Oh, Halloween's my favorite. That'll change that once he gets a little older.

I know, but right. No, no, no, you don't understand. Okay. Because Rachel makes it a whole thing. Sure. So we got like, you know, I told you guys, we had to be the Aladdin outfit. Yeah, you go out. Yeah, you know what I mean?

So it's like, it's that kind of. Oh, that's hilarious. Wow. That's. That shakes me to my core. It would be, what if you wanted to go to school like that. Oh, wow. TV not working, Chin.

It's weird how good. Hey, high. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. I know how good AI is, but. Yeah, you don't know how good.

Man, when you should, when you see your son, it's like, yeah, so what holidays? Okay, so Halloween for you guys is number one. Halloween, Christmas. No, Kitto's birthday. Halloween's number one for me. Christmas?

My wife had to remind me this morning, my birthday tomorrow. She was, what do you want to do? I went, nothing. I completely forgot mine, too, but it's in two weeks. I went out of town for my birthday. I always, I'm like, give me a show in Columbus. I didn't even realize.

how many times I've been out of town and doing shows with Matt on my birthday. Because I put this picture up where it was like, this is crazy. But in 2021, I was doing his low-key show on a truck. And then five years later in an arena. Right, right, right. Crazy. Yeah, me and Tiger were driving to practice. Tiger and I were driving to practice.

He goes, Dad, what do you want for birthday mall? Do you have $100,000 cash? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No? Yeah, yeah. You can't help me. I honestly. Can you pay for all your food and clothes for the next 10 years?

For a week. Can you cover the mortgage and payable or you can't? Well, you're not fucking helping me, buddy, are you? Bro, bro, you know what? Can I say something real quick? I think that that's like the state. I think that is like the state of being a father provider. You know, I didn't realize that until I had wolf.

Like, I've been a provider for myself for 20 years, but I don't necessarily worry. about it. I always thinking like, whatever, I'll work again or I got money in the bank. I'm always calculating like, I could go a year and not worry if anything, then I'll get a job at UPS, whatever I would think, you know, whatever my thought process. The moment you get a kid,

you're like, okay, you're just always like in the state of in your head. Always. Always. You're standing in your head of like, can I pay this mortgage for the next, whatever? Always. It's just always a state of like I have to provide. So that's why it takes me off sometimes. You know, I come

home from like oh my god and then and then i'm getting this like i've been with the baby yeah dude yeah i've been with him for 21 hours straight you don't understand how it is and i just want to be like oh i know dude especially when i get those alerts on my phone like you know from the credit cards kinky king kiki is there hey chris your birthday's coming up your birthday's coming is there anything your wife could give you that you'd actually want no my wife called me the Grinch because I was like there's I mean pictures of the kids

yeah yeah something like that but take that out of it take that out of it there's nothing that you could go to the mall and buy where I'd be like oh my God I disagree there's nothing

there's nothing materialistic you could like well but yeah but he's gonna be like a foot massager no you know no no I wouldn't buy that for myself but yeah yes he does bro

no to me like a gift card a centibund, girl. No, no. Yeah, that's great. It's even worse. Mine was at least accurate. Yuck.

I don't know whose impression is worse. His was just a blatant fat joke. Yours was... Mine sounds like you. For some reason, I'm from Atlanta all of a sudden. Yeah. Chris, this is way worse. Like you're on whaling out or some shit.

Okay, I'll tell you, let me get you. This is what I like. All right. You have things. You just don't realize it. No. I'm really. into my coffee.

Okay? Right. Like I'm totally into it. All right. Like I got my coffee machine, my grinder. I got my, all this stuff. I love it. Yeah.

She got me just. If she just got me the stomper. Yeah. That I'm looking at that I've been talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm like, oh, babe. What? Hey, Eric. Eric, let me ask you this. So how long you've been on this coffee kick? How long? For a while.

Yeah, but what's a while? God, eight years or more now? You don't have. Okay. Okay. You don't ham. You're about that life.

No, what I'm saying is what if she got you? Dude's a parisista. You're like into fixing your car and you're doing stuff. What if she got you like? She'd get them the wrong thing. I know. But she got you that new wrench that all the dudes have been talking about. You know what I'm trying to say?

Or maybe are you fucking AI? What if she got you like? No, no, no. What if she got you like, what if she got you like for your tires? You know the the caps, the caps for the tires? Uh-huh. That would piss me off. She got you a little.

me off, he said. She gave you a little thing and they were like platinum, you know, little, you know, the tire for the, the air. I'm just saying, there's something that you really love

that she might be like, oh, I really like this. So look, look, the only thing that may be like, a Pornhub subscription for you. I don't really watch too much more, but they, I'm just saying,

there's something that you liked it. Yeah, it's about the sentimental value. So, okay, so, okay, so there's a guy, that Kristen texts, that's my friend. That is her husband. Wait, we just wait until I'm done, yeah.

Okay, sorry. Like if that's the gift. What if Chris was like, you know what I'd ask for him? It gets all sad. He's like, I'd like to ask her to stop texting that guy for a day. If she wouldn't text that guy for a day. No. I was like, what the fuck?

The reason why I'm saying it like this is because she is, or he is husbands to one of her best friends. And he is now my friend. He's a legit friend of mine. I don't like it. I wouldn't either, but the way it worked out, it's like, he's like,

totally like minded. I'm like, this guy's great. Put a stop to it. Put a stop to it. But she texts him, uh, on my birthday or my Christmas.

What should I get him? He's like the guy that is like, he knows clothes. He knows his. And he comes through. But he does things like, uh, he told her get him,

uh, a trap. He loves shoes. Get him a, a, travel bag for shoes this way. That piss me off. Fuck you.

Now, see, now I knew this was what was going to happen. I'm with you. I knew this is what was going to happen. Wait, wait, you're a shoe guys.

You travel all the time. That is a great gift for you. I knew this was going to happen. Fuck you. And you're trying to, and you're trying to do you're trying to poo poo with it. And that's a great gift. I knew this was going to happen.

Oh, I would get my wife and go, am I, am I 80? Oh, oh, I should just give up. This guy. I should just fucking give up.

Dude, can I, can I, like, as the Canadians in South Park say in the movie, can I finish? Can I finish? So, uh, uh, I knew he was going to be like, oh, sweet. You know what I mean? And, and sweet deal. Can we replay? Did I do any of that? Let me just, let me just fit my shoes in it. You know what I mean? Like, whatever. Oh, okay. You know what I? Let me see if I all white. Air Force One's fitting me. Oh my God. I'd be looking at my shoes like minority report. Ooh, this one, that one, this one, this one, put him in the thing. Let me just like a, you know. And so.

So. My Jay's competitive men. So, right, right. He's a church lady when it comes to our impressions of him. Yeah. He's got a fan. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So she got me that and I thought, I thought, oh, that's a very thoughtful gift. Boom. And it is something that I would, that I should use that is useful for me. And I didn't necessarily have the urge to use it. So I thought, but it is such a thoughtful, nice gift. Let me try to use it. And I used it for months.

Uh-huh. And then I just stopped using it, and I realized I don't like to do that. Okay. But that, so I knew he, I, you know, you like things like that. No, no, no, no. It's not about liking things like that. What I'm saying is if you, like, to me, it feels like, I don't know how you pack. Yeah.

But you two are always with your shoes. Right, right, right, right. Okay. I know. And this is exactly what. Eric, I'm not on the shoe kick anymore. Okay. But I'm saying, right, right.

But I'm saying, but when you are, if you are a shoe person, that's a thoughtful gift. Yeah. Okay. But what I'm saying is for our, for our birthday, like, it's not about the amount of money. No, not at all. No. You know, even though this will be great. What if your wives came in and said, hey, this month, I'm paying all the bills.

What kind of gift would that be? Just like that. She comes in and goes, oh, I go, oh, nothing changed because it's my money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you got me nothing. You got me nothing. Oh, really? You made $800 in 2019.

What the fuck are you going to use to pay? I'm not trying to use this moment to clown our wives. I know. I know. I'm saying if she legit has secretly been going to a job and she saved up the amount of money it would take to pay all the bills for a month. Well, that would be beautiful. But I would almost, I would feel terrible, but that would be beautiful. Exactly.

But all I'm saying is what other than that. I would never stop. I would never stop. That would be a truly like, wow. That is so amazing you did that. I'll never forget that. I know. But I'd still,

my thing would be like this. Really? So your ass could have been paying bills this whole time? So you have it in you. So you can do it. No, no, no. But so what I'm saying is this, guys. I'm with you.

I don't care about my birthday anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like when we were out of this thing, Matt, Matt was, I didn't know they, He was texting with Rachel, and they got me a cake. That's cute. You know what I mean? So all the tour people came in on happy birthday, and I was like, oh, thanks.

You know what I mean? But, like, other than, like, you know, there isn't anything that I don't think about things that I want because I like working for the things I want to get. Right. But so, oh, yeah, okay. You know what I mean? But that's why I think it's something small and thoughtful of the things that you like. It has to be about your hobbies.

You know, it has to be about your hobbies. So I think for Brendan, it would be something about a car. You know, it would be something. like, you know, it'll be like a floor mat that has like Brendan on it or something, you know what I mean? You know, you know, imagine! You had a floor mat that said Brendan on it.

Oh my God. Whatever, guys. I know, I know, I know. I'm just saying something for the car. You know what I mean? Like some kind of thing. I think that would be nice. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's not. I literally can't, I can't think of anything. A notebook that he could write all the money. He's lost on betting. You know what I mean? Look, you can write all the money. You lost on betting. Whatever it is

For that fight This is for that fight Look What I'm saying It's like yeah But to get back to even the original question I asked I think like so to me Birthday is close to the bottom of the list

But there's holidays I just When did that start? When did that what year for you did that? 40s? Yeah You know there's just For me it was pretty early Yeah me too

Something Yeah I hate my birthday I'd say yeah I'd say 30 I just it's like I don't care Obviously like I like It'd be silly for me to be like I don't like the attention.

Like, you know, I, well, that's not true. Right, exactly. So, but,

but it's that kind of attention. I don't really need. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, I don't want people buying stuff for me. I don't know. Maybe it makes me a little,

I'm comfortable, although I do like things. So, uh, well, that times when like if somebody, here's a weird thing. Here's a thing you hate,

but at the same time you go, wow is when somebody throws you a surprise birthday party. Yeah. Like, there's a kind of thing where you just go. Well, Eric, my wife threw one last year.

That was cool. But the cool thing about it. I do not like that. No, no, but the cool thing about it is like when you get there, you see the people that showed up. And you're like, well,

no, that's true. You're like, you're touched. Yeah, you're touched by it. And then, because the thing is like,

then you like, you know, but look, if it was our birthdays, like, we should go to a birthday dinner just to be like, you know, we're just hanging out.

I like that kind of stuff. Right. Right. Right. And you're just hanging down and somebody's like, I got it. Right. Right.

You know, right. You don't need that. You do need that. I don't need that. Oh, got it, got it. Right. You know, I'm fine with it being in the Amazon box.

Oh. Yeah. The only time my feelings get hurt is if my kids forget, you know, because on their mom's birthday, I'll wake them up and have them to do a birthday card early. If she forgets to do that, well, fuck me. Oh, so that's not on your kids, though. Yeah, that's on your, yeah, I get it. Right. That's a whole different thing.

Yeah, that, that makes sense. So I get it. Like Christmas. Great. I guess, you know what, if I'm being like... Thanksgiving can suck my cock. I think that there's a thing here that I'm realizing in this very moment that this has to do with my mom.

So like holidays for me have not been good for like 10 years because I'm reminded. And even my birthday. Oh, you mean because my mom had dementia. You know what I mean? And she loved holidays. So I remember on my birthday, my mom would call me no matter where I was, whatever.

And she would like sing happy birthday to me. And when that stopped... I'll do it from now on. I'm just saying when it stopped, it really reminded me of my mom's not the same person anymore. So I think that I've kind of extrapolated that out to all the holidays.

Because she loved Christmas. She loved Easter. And so now I'm just kind of like, I guess those... I'm realizing it right now that those holidays remind me of my mom. Well, shit, now I hate them. That's a sad story.

I mean, you guys just show you, your mom shouldn't have called you on all those birthdays. I know. It's like, I don't know. So I realized that, that's a little bit of part of it. But like, when I think of holidays, I'm like,

like, you know, you think of the big ones. You know, it's like, first of all, Halloween isn't even a holiday because we still got to go to work. You know what I mean? So I don't know if like, you know, that's just kind of like an extra. But I enjoyed it. See, I enjoyed Halloween for the first time when I had a house. And these kids are knocking on the door.

Also, when you have a kid, it's a little. But I love having the candy and being like, oh, yeah, you. Oh, look at you. You know, I love that. I was like, oh, wow. So I kind of got a new. I love that about you. a new thing about it.

So there's, yeah, I love Christmas. Thanksgiving is like, I know you said it sucks. It's kind of too much for me. I think that's one of the better ones though. Christmas for the kids is fucking great.

For me, again, I don't need anything. It's awkward. I'm like opening gifts. I'm like, oh, oh,

hell yeah, I needed a pen. Thank you. Right, right, right, right. Yeah,

I know. My birthday, yeah, you know, we talked about that. I'm not a fan of 9-11. I don't like 9-11. I think that what they did was horrible,

whether it was, you know, whether it was, you know, what do they call it? What's the? Inside job? No, the, what's the Al-Qaeda or George Bush, you know?

Either way. Either way, dude, I think it was a big, big, big mistake. 9-11. Why isn't that a holiday? Yeah. Well, it's a day of remembrance, right? Never forget. By the way, they forgot.

Yeah. Yeah, Mama Donnie is. you forgot um and they do all that that that that yeah they're praying on the fuck it yeah supposed to separate religion and state i love to see the comments under those things that are like new york forgot it's so funny dude and those are facts let's take a little break here chat with the boys ethos life insurance ethos makes getting life insurance fast and super easy 100% online you can get a quote in seconds apply in minutes and get same day coverage there's no medical exam, you just answer a few simple health questions. They got you. You can get up to

three million in coverage. Some policies are as low as 30 bucks a month. Ethos has a 4.8 out of five stars on Trust Pilot with over 3,000 reviews. Help protect your family with life insurance through ethos. Get your instant free quote at ethos.com slash golden hour. That's ethyos.com slash golden hour. Application times and rates may vary. Ethos. I'll tell you the holiday that's fucking completely manufactured is Valentine's Day. Oh yeah

when you get into that that's a holiday hallmark made up. And there is no that is such and look I know guys I guess there's guys out there that can have fun with it

that is such and I don't use this term that is such an L for guys it's like you can't win in any other way than spending money.

You can't win. It's such a cuck holiday. It's such a bullshit. The thing is like the pre like they can't know anything about what you do because this is the big example you know you know around times day comes and you're like oh shit I didn't you know I didn't do anything me every year right so then so then you're driving to go get let's say you're not

married but or maybe you went out you're driving oh shit gas station sweet you know the dude sitting out at the gas station with the with the teddy bears and the thing you grab that mm you know and then you get home and you're like babe this is I got this is what I was planning on doing we're going to drive down PCA Oh, man. And the first restaurant you see. We're going to go sit at the bar. That's hilarious.

That's hilarious. And then you go to that restaurant, you get out, and that guy's there selling fucking bears and roses, the same guy. And she's like, you just picked this shit up. You didn't plan it. This is my point. The moment that they find that out is when it's all goes to shit. Well, yeah, you drive by that guy, you just fucking drove by.

But what I'm saying, saying is though they don't if they don't have that knowledge it could be beautiful yeah sure so basically and that's what sucks about it you trying to trick it well so yeah Valentine's Day is just was

was created to make money you know for the economy and for Hallmark or whatever the fuck Father's Day kind of weak really really get one day Mother's Day well I did it I went I took um we dropped wolf off that grandma's house which was great I hit her up ahead of time

I hit grandma up myself On Valentine's So yeah I said Can you please watch it before I take Rachel up We went to an early We went to Ocean Prime in Beverly Hills Dude I got to tell you Have you been Ocean Prime in Beverly Hills?

I think a long time ago This is where like Here we go with the fucking It's gonna be like that No no God This is gonna be something you would have noticed Oh okay This is where all the like

Upper Echelon like black people go. And I didn't realize until I was there. I was looking around like, oh shit. But it's the kind of dudes where you're like, oh, that dude might be a rapper. You know what I mean? It's the kind of thing where it's like big gold chains?

And the women are, I was like, wow, where are we at right now? I didn't know it was like. But it was great. We had a good time. And I was like, oh, this was cool. You know, because when you have a kid, it becomes now being away from the kid and remembering adult time. That's what Valentine's Day becomes when you,

in a marriage Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, when you're not married... Yeah, but you almost run out of things to talk about. Like, when me and my wife, there's just two of us, I'm like, Tiger'd be crazy, am I right? Yeah.

You know, it's like all you're talking about is kids. Well, I just... The older I get... You guys just talk about videos you're going to do. True. The older I get, the more, it's like, dude, I can't, I just can't believe... Have you ever...

Well, when's that time you listened to some women talk? I have to sit and watch Housewives of Pick a City with Rachel in the bedroom But when you really hear like three women together It's it's it's it's it's truly marvelous in the sense that you're like Chickens be clucking what are they saying? Yeah, I'd tell you this I should actually Rachel won't let me do this but so for her birthday She had a tea party oh yeah exactly exactly which which which which which

She had an outfit change. Oh, Oh, Kristen would love that. She had a tea party. She'd love to go. And she had like, you know,

and it was like, and so I, I have Google cameras. So I was watching. Yeah. This is a reality show. Uh-huh, yeah.

You know what I mean? Because they're just talking about all kind of stuff. And I'm just like, wow. Yeah. You know, I know,

it's a little bit like, I guess the guy version of it is, I'm not this way, but like they want to talk about sports or whatever. I get women, we're like, oh, so boring,

you know, but like, Yeah. And I'll just talk about like napkins for an hour and a half. I always had the same argument with Rachel. I like watching sports debate shows. Okay?

Yeah. So I put them on and she's like, oh my God. They're just talking about, I'm sick of hearing about Dak. I mean, she goes, I'm sick of hearing about Dak.

Dat, Dak, Dak, that's kind of right. No, no, no. But then I go, oh, oh, you don't,

they're talking about the same thing. Oh, so tell me about the fourth fight on Housewives of Newport Beach. Yeah. Does it, because it feels like every show It's yeah

And she was like She started laughing Because it was like She's like you really want to know Because I know Um So it's like all the you know I don't know

I can't I've tried to watch that reality shows I've seen one like full through I cannot watch that shit dude Which one? The one that I thought was really funny Because of just the pure Characters was

The Australian version of Love Island Is it love? Yeah Love Island yeah Oh well Australian or English version of anything is great. Right. Or you add dwarfs.

Wow. You know, it's just, well, did you watch love on the spectrum? I don't, I love on the spectrum. I saw,

I liked it, but I just don't. Only the first season. That guy, that one guy's, hilarious. It was great. Michael or whatever.

Have you all seen, have you guys seen a war machine? No. Hard past, dude. I don't have the time. Okay. But this is the thing. I really like.

liked it. Because there's three things... That guy's a good actor. There's three things that make movies better for guys. Okay? There's three elements. No matter what the movie is if you add these three things. One, aliens.

Okay. Two, I'm in. Zombies. Three. Three. Cubs. Kung Fu. Okay.

And what's it have? It has... All of them? No, I wish... No zombies, but... What I'm saying is like, if you have a good story... If it's just like whatever to think, it's like, because imagine how much better, like...

If the notebook had... Kung Fu. Just pick one. Just pick the movie. Just pick any movie that doesn't have none of those things. If you add that, like, what is it? You know what? Matt's security guys, they're all these military guys.

And they're like, you know, Army Ranger this and whatever. And they're just doing this now. And I said, well, what movies have you watched that you were like, this is accurate? You know, what's accurate? You know, and I was surprised. And they go, P.S. I love you. That's so how it is with my wife. Simon with love.

So, you know, I just, I thought it was a, yeah. I thought it was a pretty good movie. But subject switch, I do want to ask Brendan, okay, so if you want to check out, Chris. So, Brandon, I saw you think about the UFC. So, which, what was I saying? You were just talking about the UFC, like, I think it's, the main just because that the, the, the, the viewership is down. Is that, is that the thing? No, the viewership's actually up according to their numbers.

My argument is if they keep going the route, they're going to go. They're going to lose their fan base. Now, my question about that is, what do you think is better? And Nick is a guy that loves this too. So we'll bring Nick into this too. So like, how many people do you think when it's pay-per-view, how many people buy the UFC? Is it a million people buy it? Is it like, what's their number?

They haven't had a million-dollar pay-per-view in a lot. long time. Before they went to Paramount with no pay-per-views, now it's just number cards through the subscription to Paramount. Before, they wouldn't even release pay-per-view numbers because they were so bad. Really?

Unless it's a Conner, unless a big Conner fight. But why is it so bad? Because they don't have the stars in order for people that I want to pay. Got it. But before they went to Paramount, it was like around between even 125,000 to 400,000 on the high end.

You're saying people? People. Oh, well, that seems like... Yeah, that seems like a lot. Because if you have, let's say, let's expect a difference. Let's say you have 200,000 solid fans that if there's UFC, they're going to buy the, what is it, $40? Yeah. It was 80.

$80. $80. $70. So what's that math? You know, 80 times... $16 million. Yeah, $200,000. That's $16 million, right?

So if you're doing that once a week, you have, you're generating that. It was only once a month. Months a month. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I just feel, see, what you said is the thing that I think that these, that these, what do you call combat sports? What the combat sports are missing is the thing that the Paul brothers saw and took advantage of is that visibility. You know, make yourself a star.

They need stars. They need stars. But I'm saying that they have the people that could be stars, but they're not doing the thing that they need to do. I mean, it's very similar to comedy. And you know, right now, you have to be a marketer. you have to be somebody that can be on social media. Everybody has to be a comedian. It's like, no, I don't know, but I'm saying.

No, I know. I, yeah. No, but I mean, but I say, Eric, this is, this is the whole argument comes from this, is when they went to Paramount, so it's no longer the pay-per-view platform. Right, right. So they don't need your $80. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The UFC's getting their $1.1 billion, no matter what. So whether it's a trash card, great card, they're getting paid no matter what.

So now they go, we don't, we don't have to do shit. Yeah, they don't care. Yeah. They don't need to build. stars. We got our money for the next seven years. So you're saying that's the downfall? I hate it. It's going to be the downfall. You know what's crazy? Interesting. If Brendan wanted to fight right now, I feel like he would be more popular than a lot of the guys. Well, I, I, you know what I'm saying? I think that he would do really well in terms of like the marketing and all that kind of stuff.

But you'd have to fight. But I'm just saying, you know, you don't want to do that. But I'm saying, that's what's missing. Well, it's just, I don't you think. I don't know anybody who fights right now. Nobody. I know I'm not like I'm not even a casual fan but to your point Chris that but that's the point like you knew Ronner I know I know Connor McGregor you knew Brock Lesner John Joe yeah like yeah that's the thing I know all those guys they're not emphasizing the fighters anymore it's more about the brand I guess I know Patty but yeah but the brand to me isn't big enough to stand on its own because it's like because even a casual fan isn't being like oh yeah no I think you're right let me go check yeah

I think you're right it's not the NBA yeah something he begs the difference my point is like Even the NBA has trouble because if it's like Utah playing Wizards. Wizards. People aren't going in for that. But some people are because they love the NBA. Right, right, right. But then if you have a star, because even a team like Charlotte,

they're like, that kid, what's his name, Levar Bar, La Mello Ball? La Mello Ball got into the All-Star. He got voted in because he's a star. Wow. Yeah. Look at the Choror-Sanders. Shor-Sanders is in the fucking Pro Bowl. Yeah, so I think that that to me, so when I was looking at Utah,

talking about that. I just thought to me there needs to be some young kid who works for the UFC that is like in charge of like marketing and like hey let's start making stars. Let's start making videos. You got to start doing trends. You got to start making things. But it's hard. I'm sure it's hard to talk to some tough guy from per placastan who you know, who's parents are on a breadline. Yeah, no, I know. And he just wants to be funny. Be funny. He's like, okay. I walk into door. into door the other day. What?

I bummed my head. You know what I mean? It's like I think, but I think that that's the only thing that would save, you know, not save, but like get to casual fans and build on the brand. You know, I guess they really need a Patty to win that fight. Right. That would have helped. But do you see what Netflix is doing?

Like MVP? You see what they're doing? So they have Gina Crono, Ronda Rousey. They have Francis Ingano fighting. They got Nate Diaz, MVP, you know. So older. Like older. Like older, but it's fun.

Like for the casuals, they go, oh, fuck yeah. I know who they are. That's smart. It's going to destroy the UFC White House. Wow. Destroy it. Well, I think, you know, it would be a great fight right now. Nate Diaz versus Brendan Shaw on Netflix.

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Available at participating marathon locations, terms and conditions apply. See Marathonrewards.com for details. I know, but who cares? I'm down. What payday number would be like, All right, I would do that. I would start training and do it.

What's the payday number for you? Shit. Well, if it's on Netflix, that'd be fucking awesome. So you wouldn't have to pay a crazy. Yeah, it wouldn't have to be some crazy number. I don't know. What I'm saying is, no, no, no, no. What does he get out of that?

No, no, no, no. Views on this podcast. Just the shorts that say golden hour. Just a buildup. Just a build up. Just a golden hour. We're going to the gym, watching him train. You know what I mean?

did the training videos. I'm just saying, but I think there is a number. But what I'm saying, though, is like that, so you have, so one, Netflix is bigger than the UFC, okay? Like, just branding alone. Yeah, no question. Okay, it's bigger. They have the funding.

We'll see what's going on because, you know, we got Paramount and HBO about to be one app. So we'll see with this new thing if that, like, adds, you know, some, some cash A to the thing. But like, you know. That'll be a good one because I think those are the two best. Because here's what I, here's my problem with it. Here's my problem. And see it. This is a question for.

Brendan and Nick. Okay, this is my problem with Netflix doing that. It's more a spectacle and living off the name Netflix than it is about fighting itself. Well, it's not about fighting. Because I don't want to see Rhonda Rousey and a frickin' a chick from Star Wars.

That's not a... I could care less about that. Does she get to use a lightsaber? If she was using a lightsaber, I watch, but they're not the cream of the crop of what's going on in UFC. Yeah, but wait, hold on a second. That's not the Netflix business model.

Like, their business models literally just spectacles. I know, but it's just spectacle. So, like, no one's really going to pay for Manny Pacow versus Floyd Mayweather. They know that, but they know people who have Netflix will tune in, so to get 100 million views. Yeah, but so they're just doing these spectacles. But the difference between that fight, that fight is there is some history there. There is some, like, you know, Floyd's never, Floyd's never lost. He's entertaining to watch.

He's entertaining, you know, but he still has a history of being like a really great fighter. So it's like, okay, and yeah, it's kind of like, ah, this is old stuff. Nobody wants to, whatever. But that it has more cachet than like, you know, I don't know. I just feel like I agree with you. The UFC needs to really push these guys in the modern era. The modern error is not like how it was, man. No, you're right, Eric.

They need to do what got them to where they're at. And they've stopped doing that because they don't have to. That's the issue. And the sad part is You associate to UFC With like people like you know That do bad stuff You know

It's like so like Colin McGregor is like You know This kind of wild child He's throwing the Throwing the dollies at the bus And then he's in a movie Being a crazy person and all that And now they've sort of disassociated themselves with him

And it's like Well Well He did some other shit I get that I get that but that's my whole point It's like That's the only type of guy

That can be a character you can't find the guy that's like, you know, the sort of good bad guy, you know what I mean? Right, right. To push the sport. The heel, yeah. Yeah, the heel, but also like, you know, I think they need to take a book out of the WWF back in the 80s. You find a way, because imagine if it was like the WWF, but real fighting, that'd be great, you know? Yeah.

Have like, they need to have a guy that's like the-the-problem is, though, those got, the real fighters focus on fighting. I know. Correct. And that's the reason why the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, watches it. Look, just as a casual fan, because of you guys, and I'm watching and I'm seeing the chess of it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm like, ooh, this is interesting that they're doing that they're doing. So I think they could get people to watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you get people into it. But we live in an era where we need a macho man savage. Right, right, right, right. It needs to be like, that's what it needs to be. And that's where I come in. It needs to be a spectacle.

It's not a spectacle, you know, and it needs to be weird. It's not special anymore. There's too many cards. I would say since, uh, Connor, really, you know, there's a little bit been that sugar guy. Sugar Ray Leonard? No. Sugar Shot O'Malley?

Yeah, him a little bit. And besides him, I think, I think, I know Alex Pereira? Yeah, but not by face. You know what I mean? I think people need to know the like standings, whatever the equivalent of that is. Right, right, right, right. People need to know where the rankings. The rankings.

And I'm saying, is that something they need to like keep putting out there. You need to be like, this guy's moving up in the rankings. This is the new guy. I think they need someone, they need a team that has nothing to do with fighting, that has everything to do with marketing and business. Well, they obviously have marketing. Sitting in a room.

Yeah, but it's not. No, I know. I know. They're marketing the wrong thing to me, in my opinion. Because I want to see, I think it would be a great, because I remember back in the 80s, man, the heavyweight champion of the world was the most famous person on the planet.

Okay? Right. It's just, wow. Like, you know, you're paying $150 pay-few to watch Mike Tyson. and you'll beat a guy up in 25 seconds, you know, whatever that, whatever built that up, the UFC needs that. You know what I mean?

They just need that. It's tough in 2026. There's so much to compete with. It's very tough. But you know what? You're not going to be able to compete if you don't try to compete. I agree. There's no trying to compete.

The issues they don't have to try. Cash out. Fuck it. Who cares? That's what they did. This is like, you know. Cash out. I would.

Yeah, I get it. I get it. I mean, look, I, you know, how much of what Dana White does is for the love of fighting? I don't know. I think he's a businessman, you know? Well, these days, he's kind of out. Sure, sure, sure. Whoever it is, right?

Yeah, but what I'm saying is I disagree or I'm saying, if you are a businessman, the things I'm saying would make the business better. Yeah, I understand that. But, but, but, but, but you just made. $1.1 billion from Paramount. That is the business that you've worked for. You got it. Now you're out. I'm just saying, do, start it.

I would, I would be out. I would be like, I'm going to start another business. Fuck this. And that's what Dana did. He did Zufa Box and Slap Fight. He's like, all right, it made it. I'm good. I'm focused over here.

I'm surprised I didn't have a no compete clause. Like no. Well, it's all in the same banner. Complete, compete clause. You know? Hey, Nick, I got to, Nick, do you know what Hunter Campbell's background is? Do you know how he became the matchmaker?

No, I think he's a lawyer. He was Dana White's personal lawyer. What's that? And they're like, oh, you're into fighting. You're good at contracts, and now he's the head matchmaker. Really? And that's good or bad? Well, if he's saying it, it's bad.

Yeah, it sounds like it. Al Madrigal is doing the... Oh, my God, that's hilarious. This guy's the matchmaker. So he's the guy that picks the matches. But then again, what's the requirements to bit, you know, like Joe Silva did it? Like, I don't know, like, what resume would you need to be the matchmaker? Well, you need a, you know what?

Then they need a Don King type fear in UFC as well. Well, they got one. Dana White and Don King are based on the same guy. Right. But not even. No. You know. I don't know.

I just, I hear what you're saying. You know, it's like I'm, I'm like a casual fan that's at the door and I want to be a fan. But everything you do, I just go, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm Nick. I think that's most people. It's a good card. The card shouldn't be the star, the work.

There's a card. Tell me who is fighting. Yeah. Tell me the guy. But you can't because. Shit stay in the Gilacotti. I love him. But you know what's funny you say that is like even the hardcore fans themselves

don't promote it that way. They say that. It's a good card. Right. Right. You're supposed to say in like, hey, so and so. Wait, you need a guy to transcend it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what's missing. A couple weeks ago, did you hear about Charles Olivera, Max Holloway? No, I didn't hear. Those are like as big as for current fighters now. I know those names. That was really exciting. But I don't want, we should stay on it.

But it's by design. They don't want stars because Connor fucked up their business model. He has too much negotiating power. That's why he was able to go do boxing. So they just want to have the shield. Like he said, they have $1.1 billion a year. So it's like private equity. taking over some company.

They're just cutting costs and make a balance. So as long as the shareholders, yes, as long as their shareholders are happy, they're happy. So they brought in a guy his name's Shapiro and he's just like he helped six flags

out get into the positive. So all he is about numbers. He knows nothing about fighting. So he'll go look at a card like the White House go, okay, our overhead for the White House is this much. In order to profit off this, you have this much to pay the fighters.

So do what you want, but this is all you have to spend In order for the shareholders be happy So like we agree with how you think they should do it And that's what Brendan was saying like in the clip In the next couple years, it's really going to piss off like the hardcore fans I feel like it's not going to affect the bottom line Just because just because being on Paramount There's going to be this turnover of these new people checking it out

But just as many people are checking out at the same time Oh It's kind of bleak Nick, my argument is after, so they're set for the next seven years. They get $7.7 billion. After those seven years, they're cooked.

If they don't make a change soon. But then I could also see that last year they ramp up and they make all the fights that people want and then just do it again. Well, you know, the fan base is out by then. You know what I'm saying? Or the fan base is like, I'm out.

It will also depend on like, because you have public perception of something, you know, like first instance, look at the NBA. there was like a public perception that the NBA ratings are down and people aren't watching and but then the deal came and they signed the largest deal ever and so they're they're right their back so it's like so that's sports so I mean that could be the thing I mean they could be looking at that model and being like well that's not just about ratings like are we selling

refrigerators are we you know what I mean or you know are we but hey Nick you know how sometimes I'll give a take and I'm like maybe I'm too close to it maybe the casual viewer is like I don't see the problem. Yeah. Like, it seems all right to me. And I'm like, yeah, maybe, maybe I'm, I know how the sausage is made. Maybe I'm too involved. No, but that's okay. Because if we were, if we were on a sports debate show, they do that. You have like the, you know, you have the, the reporter who becomes a thing. And then you have the ex-athlet who's talking from that perspective. So I don't care that you're, or that you're too close to it because that's the perspective I want to hear. I want to hear, here's an ex-fighter. And if you were fighting right now, what

would you want to happen. That's an interesting perspective in my opinion. Word. Go to commercial right here, by the way. No, I just don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, but you're not a sports guy. So you're like, so this is a thing. As not being a sports person, what would be the thing that would grab you? Yeah, it would have to be somebody. You had a party for the World Series. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, Kristen did. I know, but still, really? The fact that you make a, not a party, but like, the fact that you make an event. around a sport spectacle, what would it be? Like, you know, we all watch the Super Bowl,

whether you like sports or not. You know, we all watch, when the World Series comes, you know about it. You're like, oh, the World Series. You all need to have a party tonight for the World Baseball Classic. U.S. versus Venezuela, baby. Oh, man. You know what?

That was incredible. You know, that's what baseball, that's going to help baseball tremendously. Baseball is the best sport. Baseball is the best sport. We're doing it right. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, they have like a, it's like,

It's like an Olympics type thing, a world, you know, for the baseball. So it's like Team Japan versus Team the Dominican Republic. How long have I been doing that? It's a hot second. Yeah, but this is the first time they've really made it like where they're like, oh, let's hype this up. That's cool. This is the first time the U.S. team was like, all right, we're like, our big boys are like,

we're playing. So we have the fucking hottest line. Well, it's because all the other guys that play in the MLB from these other countries were like, we're going to go play. You know? So they went and go play and then you, that's funny. You know what I mean?

They were like, because Japan's been done. Listen, the Dominican Republic is going to fucking wipe us clean. Oh, they had to do. Yeah. The Dominican Republic team.

We just beat them. We just beat them, but on some nonsense. What I'm saying, yeah. But they were, they were number one in every category. Yeah. Baseball stats,

the Dominican Republic team and we beat them. Until Paul Skeens puts that hot sauce on their bitch. It was, it was incredible. So, you know, again, something like that comes and maybe people go,

oh, wow. Right. Yeah. Watch baseball. So, you know. I feel like baseball is the only pure sport left. You don't see the athletes doing TikToks and all this bullshit.

I'm shocked. It's just about ball. I'm shocked. It's still around, honestly, with how that's America's pastime. It's ratings are huge. Well, baseball ratings are not huge. Yeah, they are. It's the highest.

They are. Look it up, Nick or chin. It's the highest it's been in a hot second. I know. But the fact that you even have to say that is my point about the baseball ratings. Like, you know, like they, They had, there was playoff games. It crushes NBA.

It crushes NBA. They were playoff games. He said it three times. It might be true. But their playoff games where the stands are empty. Like that's not new. Yeah, man. No, hell no.

No, hell no. Not in Dodgers stadium. Not in Dodgers. Yeah, do one of the biggest markets. Not in New York Yankees. Oh, so the two big markets. Not for the Brewers. I don't know what games you watch and playboy.

I wonder what. They weren't even, they weren't even playing all the games on. TV. But I wonder why. I wonder why. Well, it's because they don't profit share like the other sports. No, I'm saying I wonder why it's bigger now. Like, that's interesting to me.

Well, just, you know, things going way. They got a lot of O-Tonnie. Oh, right, yeah. Judge. Like, they have stars. Yeah, stars. Shorber, Bryce Harper, Bobby Whit Jr. Gary Carter, Andy Benis, Johnny Damon. Yeah, I get it.

Johnny Damon, yeah, I get it. Johnny Damon, throwback, dude. Todd Zeal. You know what I mean? and it's like just fucking... Todd Seale. Johnny Damon was on the reality TV show Below Deck one time and he blacked out

and pissed off the side of the boat and almost fell off. I've honestly never heard something that I already knew for the first. You said that for the first time and of course that happened. You knew that? Oh. Of course. Below deck. That's another one Rachel likes to watch. No. I don't get it.

No. Watching rich people on a boat. Johnny Damon's face, huh? Yeah. You got some work done. I don't, I, I, I don't know, yeah. Yeah, but look at that. I mean, it's like, it's been.

Yeah, no, I know. Look at that. 2020 postseason averaged 4.4 million views through LLC and 13, pretty much increase. This is the highest since 15 years. So I'm just saying, this is like, they're on there. Hopefully this, that's why I think this thing that just happened with this world thing, I think it's going to really go into baseball season.

It's going to be like an explosion for baseball. which is good. You know in Japan when Otani plays over 100 million people watch? Yeah, I think that's something. Well, that's just like, what's his name? Oh my God. That's just like the basketball player, Yao Ming, when he was playing. Oh.

Yao Ming was like, you know. Wow. I know his fourth guy. Yeah, that's a fourth guy. I'll tell you what, I got. What are you a guy? Yeah, what would you say you do, Chris? Yeah, what do you watch?

What's your entertainment that you consume? Bro. And don't go down the rabbit hole of some bullshit movies. be like what do you do man i sit around and i think about fucking funny things in my head i know but how do you have any opinions if you don't if you don't know what's going on in the world i don't i have opinions on things that don't matter like that's like napkins or something why they fold them like this i get it you know so you're like angry jerry sinfeld i'm oh yeah more fucking yeah larry david yeah yeah i mean christin is like how are you still

talking about this and thinking about this. And I go, I'm the Captain America of it. It bugs me. It's the thing. It's not about the subject you're talking about. It's about how and why you're talking about it, which is why people want to come watch. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, I like

to work out. I like to... And you can do that tomorrow. Right. Yeah, oh, yeah. Live. We'll all be the gangs back together again. I like to do that. I know. The boys are back together in person. How about how about I got a sign? I just got the notice.

I'm going to coach the team. I'm signing Tiger up for tackle football in July. Wow. No, no pushback from Joe? No, she's more gangs than I am. She's like, get them in there. Bring a gun. Have him bring a gun.

How old is he? He's 10. We didn't have it until 7th grade. So I wanted to do that. Really? I started playing tackle football at 6. Yeah, well. And that's why I'm done his rocks.

He's going to. That's why I'm a caveman. Why? Because I play tackle football at six. I got to go by Tiger a helmet today so he gets used to the helmet. But for the first thought, you know, I'm usually pretty like, fuck, yeah, tackle by. I was like, oh, fuck, man. Well, I feel bad.

Hits to the head. Yeah. You're, your kid is like, he's strong. Right. Well, I also feel bad for the other kids. I feel bad for the other kids. Tiger's going to fucking roll over some kid. And then that dad's going to be like, what the hell, man?

Is that kid 17? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Bobby Bouchet them a little bitch. I can't wait. So it's like, you know, but you know. I mean, is he interested in it?

He wants to do that? Oh, yeah. That's his thing. And the reason why they asked me if I had coach, I'm like, I'll coach tackle. I won't coach flag. I'm like, I'll, because that doesn't count. I'm like, I'll coach tackle because since my kid's bigger, but he's really athletic and fast and can catch, if I'm not a coach on the team, they'll force him to be on the line because he's a big 10-year-old.

So I'm like, oh, you're an offensive lineman the fuck he is. That's a little Travis Kelsey. bitch. No, there's no, no, but he's so athletic. There's no way they would just put him on the line. There's no way. It's tough to find big kids and he'll be one of the bigger kids. I know, but still, man, you know, at a certain point, you know, and by the way, being on the line, if he was a truly, like, you know, those linemen make a lot of money, man. Offensive tackle in the NFL right now, there are some of the, it's like the fourth most important position. The left tackles get paid bank. Tiger's not going to be that big.

Yeah, it's not going to be. Yeah, yeah. Those boys are like six, six, six, three, fucking 70. Like six, four, two, 50. And still probably the fastest person in like a normal they're freaks. You know what I mean? So I don't know, but that's going to be, that's something. I don't know.

I'm like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, he's not big enough. I know, but Rachel's already like, no, no, no, no, but Rachel's already like, I don't want him to play football. Right, right, right. But if he wants to play football. It is nervous.

Even with my experience, I'm like, fuck, man. I guess I want him playing tackle football. No, yeah, I mean, dude, it's like. You should want him getting hurt. hurt. Yeah, well, they'll have to wear those, you know, the helmet will be this big. Right, right, right, right. That's going to be the thing.

Yeah. Or it's those suits with the bubble wrap and you're just. Oh, my God. Rolling. Bro, I got six hours of sleep last night and six hours of sleep night before. I'm dead. I need, you know, I'm feeling good. Eight.

Oh, you'll love this. You know, I wake up at like four or four 30. I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning and I wake up and Tiger's like, Hey, dad. They're on spring break. I'm sitting on the couch drinking my coffee and Tiger's like hey dad I'm like What the fuck are you doing down here?

He's all I'm getting up early like you do I'm like that's cute You're so screwed dude Right right right right I get up early because I have stress Right right This is the few minutes of silence I have to myself Right right right you're ruining it Yeah you've ruined it

You don't need to get up this early buddy You don't need to get up this early buddy Son shut the fuck up She go he goes back upstairs Dad's weird in the morning No but I dude I was just on the I just did these four things with Matt, you know. Yeah.

We were in like, Raleigh and Savannah. But it was like, he had a tour bus, you know? And I was like, dude, I can't stand on that otherwise. Well, yeah, if they're not going to sleep, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, my God. Yeah. They were going out.

Not forget that. So I went with the security, so the security was driving, you know, but we had two five-hour drives. Yeah. You know, so I'm sitting, they had this minivan, and I'm sitting in, with the two security guys, I'm sitting way in the back in the minivan, right? And I got, I got, I don't have my seatbelt on, because I got to just seat down and I'm watching shit. Yeah, this motherfucker had to slam on the brakes.

Oh, wow. I went flying. Oh, my God, bro. I went, I have a big shit on my thing right now, my shit. I was like, oh, fuck, man. You know, he was like, I'm so sorry, Eric. You know, and I was like, okay, now I'm in the back. And then it happened again, like, 30 minutes later.

Somebody did some stuff. And then I'm like, I see it, though, and I go like this. Oh, I'm braces my stuff. But he had to go like this. Who? I went, fly. Who's this fucking driving? It's also in the middle of the night.

Eric, did you have to sleep on the bus? This is the thing. The first night, I said, okay, let me just try. I'll go on the bus with you guys. There was only a two-hour drive from Tampa, jack to build a camera. You know, so I'm on the bus. Right.

You know what I mean? So I said to him, he did it last second later. I don't. You know, I was like, oh, man. But I can't fit into bunks. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't like, sleeping in a bus I can do.

but like getting up and getting ready and shit is fucking disgusting. I'm too old for it. I'm too old for it. You get to the venue. They have showers. Oh yeah. Oh, of course.

You get to where the showers at the fucking sex pistols came in. Have you ever thought, fucking, in 19, you know, and there's still fucking, oh, there's still Gougood dolls jizz in it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, great! Way! Oh, oh, fucking,

Michelle Branch flicked her bean in this. The caves, toddler beds, and Spirit Halloween. You won't believe the things people think. Michelle Branch was the key. Michelle Brandt is such a deep guy. So, guys, tomorrow, come on out. Say hi to us.

Thank you for asking, by the way, if I had any more. Vegas Denny's. And the Valkin gas company will be there tomorrow. And then Chris DeLeo will also be there. 4 p.m. show. 4.30 and 10. And then for both days, March 20. Friday and Saturday.

And Chris is there. I feel targeted by that pet seminars. And then we'll say. You never know who might drop him. Brandon might even do that. Then I'll be in Tacoma. Wow, that's amazing. Then I'll be in Tacoma.

What's the deal with UFC? Then I'll be in, yeah. Just getting pissed off about, and the deal's fucking stupid because everyone's just like, Tacoma, Tacoma Washington, I will be there. And then I will be in Columbus and St. Louis and I think Cincinnati. I got a bunch of dates coming up, Crisley.com. Thank you very much.

And I have a bunch of days. coming up too. I need you guys to come to those two. Like in April 30th. It's called Talk to the Moon in Pensacola, Florida. The 30th through the second. Pensacola, Florida. I'm coming your way in April. Yeah. All right. Oh, dude, Pensacola, Florida's awesome. Yeah, thank you. Have you been? No. It's a military town and it's nice. Okay, well, hey, nice people in Pensacola. Come on out and watch my show.

Yeah. All right, Austin. We'll see you tomorrow. Talk to the moon. live golden hour at the Volcan. All right, boys. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. You swear? If I'm mine, I'm dying. This is the mindset. Free.

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the podcast where we do dramatic readings of the most wild and off-the-wall reviews on the internet. We read real reviews about everything from Vegas weddings, matchmaking services and Trader Joe's to caves, toddler beds, and Spirit Halloween. You won't believe the things people think absolutely must be said on the internet. How else would everyone know that some caves don't have Wi-Fi?

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