The Golden Hour - I Turnt It Down | The Golden Hour #134 w/Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

The guys are all sick with flu like symptoms and talk the Hulu Diddy docu-series, Michael Jai White movies, Brendan's haunted AirBnB, Rascal Flatts' lead singer teaming up with Akon for the song "Hold the Umbrella", Bootleg Kev's interview with Big Boogie, the guy who spent 80k for height/limb surgery, the viral "say goodnight" trend, Kris Jenner's facelift, thoughts on plastic surgery and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcastDraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDENSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love, just rebranded enough It's stronger, bigger power cuz it is a Guys what's up, dude, you've been sick, huh? I thought it was allergies You know what I bet that pollen just gets up in that nose

It started up here then it went to my throat and now it's in my chest So I had to go on the virtual doctor thing started up here and they gave me like four things and I started from Ahead now we're here Really where I was just here in LA, but I still had to say like I can't come cuz I tried one night And it was crazy. I was like, oh my god Hulu has this show. Okay, keep talking. It's called the diddy the diddy trial. I'm out. No, no, no my God, so that was it. But let me tell you this, guys, Hulu has this show. It's called The Diddy Trial. I'm out.

No, no, no, but listen, it's Westerface from The View. Sonny, a defense attorney, and this liberal guy, whatever, I don't know, and what they're doing is, you know, there's no cameras in the courtroom. Which is stupid. Okay, but they had the transcripts. So what Hulu did was, they hired some really terrible actors. Oh, I love it.

Just like some ghetto black guy pretending to be Diddy. Listen, really terrible actors. Oh, definitely watch it. And they're actually doing the transcripts, okay? So like, so they're showing that, and then, you know, and then these three are talking about what they think about If their prostitution is doing their job or the defense is doing their job, but the reenactments are like wow Look like a sinker watching the whole fucking thing. I couldn't help myself

Anything new though. It's the actual statements from the trial. Yes No, I like just on my nipples. No, but it's really crazy. The thing is, this is a line from- It's the guy who played Spawn. A few good men, but a few good men is like, this is the best line he said in the movie. You can't handle the jizz. Not that one.

You can't handle the piss. You can't handle the jizz and piss. There we go, everybody. You can't handle the jizz and piss. You can't handle the lube. Yeah. Okay. I'm dying. To be fair, we had some good stuff to say. Okay. Jack improv that line. It's not what you can believe. Yes, I read that this morning too. I believe nothing. It's not what you believe, it's what you can prove. And that's what court is all about. So it's like whether you think he's innocent or guilty, it doesn't matter.

What can they prove? And neither one of them are proving anything right now. That's the crazy part. Y'all were just hanging out. The fucking guy's like, you're proving nothing. No, but every person they bring in, it's like it's so crazy. Like the escort they're bringing in,

this guy's, and the actor they have playing the escort Do no it's just like The guy who played spawn Oh really it's crazy Michael Jai white yeah Karate for no fucking reason He's a black belt. Yeah, he's like a black belt. Karate for no fucking reason. I'm sick. Big black dead. He's a black belt. Yeah, there was jizz on my nipples. Karate or some shit.

Yeah. Hey, but here. No, no, no. That's when she pissed on me. He's mid-bit. We gotta let him go. Mid-bit. Hey, but I'm with you.

They haven't got anything, but you know, the feds have a conviction rate of 97%. I made Meek Mill suck my dick. 97%, he's still still going but 97 percent. That was when I made Meek Mill suck my dick. Cut Michael J. White. We don't need karate in this. This is just you're on the stand. Just you're on the stand. It's a play ball. No, but wait.

He's not a Power Ranger. That was when Cassie fed me my jizz. But a lot of them was like. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Go ahead. They're all, sir, please quit doing karate. No, no, you can't do that. And then go, go ahead.

Okay. Go ahead. No, no. I'm not accepting that. The bit game. That, go ahead. I'm not I'm not accepting the big game. That's him right there when he said there was just on my nipples. You're on our can. He put a shirt on. Your Honor, he needs to wear at least a button down and a blazer. Dude, that's hilarious. He used to come into my gym when I was in the UFC.

Oh, what happened? He graduated. Be him up. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Oh what happened he graduated? You could beat him up? Yeah. Oh god. Yeah, that guy's all show though, right? I mean like he was actually a real like martial arts I know that martial arts. Yeah, he's a black belt like taekwondo and shit. He's a black belt in fucking acting dude I think we should put We got to set up one of these fights I'd rather see I'm gonna start doing fake snapchat videos. Shob says he can beat up this.

Those gotcha videos? Yeah. How much? I was on a show with Brendan. Yeah, I was just gonna go, yeah. He said. How much has Brian Callan annoyed that guy for over an hour talking to him? Once, you know what I mean?

Michael Chavez, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's doing this in the fucking podcast. He's just like, yeah, so Brian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd rather see him and Rogan fight. Because they're both similar age. Oh, really? I don't know.

He did Spawn and that's it? No, he's been in a ton of shit. They're bringing Spawn back. Oh, I bet. I love Spawn. I have the first 13 Spawn, the comics. Oh, I bet. I love Spawn. I have the first 13 Spawn, the comics. Oh yeah, yeah, so do I.

You trying to sell them? So do I. Did I tell you guys a story? I'm a dork. I saw Spawn in Westwood. The real one? He's it! You know what?

No! Brendan, he is on one. Just like on the... In line to get a corndog. Sp like on the, on the line to get a corn dog. Spawn? No, but. Yeah, chili cheese dog. It was like the, just the.

Five, please. And Todd McFarlane was there. Yeah, milkshakes. Todd McFarlane was there at the. Wow. At the, it was like a premiere thing. Oh really? It was like a midnight show.

And he go, we have a surprise for you Ladies and gentlemen topic violent the place went crazy Wow until he started talking for 45 minutes Oh, no, dude about the movie. Yeah, just about the house like oh, this is a fuck. Of course. That's a nerd Yeah, this is a fucking nerd Drawing and he's a nerd, you know, he's not you know,'t got no personality. Finally guys, I get to talk. Yeah. They let me out. Dude, you need Michael Jai White there, be like, that's too much talking.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Hoo hoo hoo hoo. I love that movie. This sort of martial arts, they would have made a movie in the 80s. Oh, they did. Oh yeah, they did. They made tons of movies in the 80s.

Dude, I would be an 80s fucking star if I was out. With the way I can hold that shit? Yeah, it's pretty good. Are you kidding me? All right, I have a question for you. Eight inches. Twice in college. Okay, so could you beat up the fictional Steven Seagal character?

All right, so like in one of his movies. Like in The Under Siege? What kind of stupid fucking question is this? It doesn't exist. Yeah. Okay, all right, fine. Could you beat up the fictional character Cody and step-by-step how's that the same because it's fake he's a black belt in real life

but we could see could you beat up blade no he's a fucking vampire it is swords there's no fun today okay you just do all your own bits. Chris says it's great. Do all your own bits. You want me to fuck the conversation? I can throw a karate bit in the first 10 minutes. You're welcome. Dude. I threw it and I front loaded this fucking podcast. Everyone's coughing. Not me, bro. I'm good. I can't. I take my magic mind. I take my magic mind. I get sleep dude.

My kids wake up in the morning. I don't give a fuck. I'm getting that eight hours. Oh, no matter what. Wah, wah. I need eight hours, Billy. I've been sleeping horribly. I'm in a twin bed at the Airbnb.

Yeah. Feet hang off Tigers big-ass is sharing it with me that's cute though you didn't you didn't like check the Airbnb first wifey booked it she's like you and Tia be fine here oh my god that's that's infuriating Billy I put Billy to sleep I put Billy down last night and I went to go put Calvin in bed what I put Billy in his crib and I went to put Calvin in his bed. And Billy kept saying, poopy, poopy, poopy.

And Calvin said, do you know what he's saying? And I was like, no. And Calvin said, he's saying poopy. And I was like, no, I know, but he's like, you think he did poopy? And Calvin's like, yeah, I guess he did poopy. He's saying poop, dad. Right, I know, but you know,

he's still figuring out how to talk. So I go into the crib and he's like, yeah, I guess he did poopy. He's saying pooped at. Right, I know, but you know, he's still figuring out how to talk. So I go into the crib and he's like, poopy! And I'm like, did you go poop? And he's just like, poopy, poopy! And I'm like, okay, you want me to change your diaper? And he's like, oh, like this. So I went to go get the diaper and he's like, poopy! And I take his pants off and I take the diaper off,

there's no poop. And I say, there's no poopy, and he goes like this. I'm like dude this motherfucker. How's that feel? Gotcha. He got me. Yeah he front loaded that good night. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. And I go you're not pooping? And he laughed. Then he went like this. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Now that you're here. With a bunch of poop. Wolf said his first like real sentence. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow that's so cute. He said oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow, that's so cute. He said oh wow. Oh wow.

Oh wow. Where'd he get that from? That's really cute. Said Miss Rachel. Yeah, that Airbnb, it's old too, and Tiger and Bossy were sleeping in this room, and Tiger, or Bossy came in, he's like, Dad, I can't sleep, that room's scary.

I'm like, you've been playing it all fucking day, you're fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I turned the light on, and then last night I couldn't sleep in the twin bed, because the T's fucking huge, rolling everywhere. So I went to their room Yeah, I'll stand in that room. I was like it is scary. That's hilarious. We're swimming in the corner like this

Yeah, I went back in the other room. I was like I get it I get I was mean to him, too I'm like you're going to bed. Hey wake up. It actually is scary in here I'm gonna go to sleep guard it guard it guard me You're on night watch so Rachel be looking at these videos and she found this new one now about How you're not supposed to like it's not good to go like when they poop go like ooh This is stinky cuz it gives them a complex about pooping. That's a complex. I want you know Yeah, I don't want to be just like I know but so I said okay So we gotta be we have to make it fun to make it nice now

Let me poop I said well okay, so we got to be, we have to make it fun and make it nice now. Right. When we poop. And I said, well then when I poop, you have to do the same thing. Yeah. I said, you can't be mean to me around here. Come on in guys, look what daddy did. Come on in, let's eat. So I usually sing songs to him when we're like, to try to make, you just track him. You raise me up. On the highest mountain.

My new song, I want to know what I will walk 500 miles. But the one I loved, I said, uh, your wife needs to get off tick tock. Yeah, dude. Dude, every wife, huh? But I said, who let to get off tiktok yeah dude dude every wife huh but I said who let the poop out no no no that's a good one that's a good one I didn't like the others that one was great it's fun you're really really that was fun you brought it home there you know what the new summer Jam is? Here we go.

Oh wait. The I Fuck Guys? No, no, that was, that's a, I forgot about that song. It does slap. That's a Summer. I'm fucking gay. What's the, oh, I just heard a good song for the summer and I can't remember it, it's all good.

There's nothing better than a Summer Jam though, man. Come on. Summer Jam's good. Who sings it? You think it's that Nokia song, the Summer Jam? Nokia? The Drake one, that's what my buddy was saying. I've heard it. Oh really? I saw a video about Akon. Oh that's what it was. Oh Jesus Christ that's what it was. Yeah it was with the guy from Rascal Flatts and Akon. Oh no way they got together. Bro it's the

worst song I've ever heard in my life. You just said it's a summer jam because because people will like it no a car has a good hook no summer beat No, well people are gonna love it. Oh have you heard machine gun Kelly's new pop jam. Yeah, what's it called? Coward something. Yes, what's it called? Cliche why'd my girl leave me but machine gun Kelly keeps changing his genre Yeah, he went like rap I guarantee all country soon yeah country's come just reggae well yeah ever since Beyonce just won an American musical I know I know everyone do a country right country no did you see at the AMA's the girl that was announcing

Beyonce and she's like she started country music and who's the black guy Darius Rucker no the other one there's two of them Michael. John white. No little boozy. She goes She goes Beyonce started country and he goes On stage like what the fuck you know what no one cares about that shit anymore because Billy eyeless who won like eight awards didn't show Up Beyonce didn't show up. I didn't go imagine of the person that's winning all these awards isn't even there Imagine the person that's winning all these awards that isn't even there. No, I mean, I don't care about that. AMA, who cares? That used to be a big deal, man.

When I was a kid, I used to watch it all. It's awesome. Great performances. And, Jesus. Yeah. Look at the Rascal Flatts, Akon song, Hold the Umbrella. And does Akon go, Akon music? No, but it's crazy. This is great video of him talking about this. Oh, yeah. What were you saying?

About the- Water in Africa? No, no, no, no. It was about like. Oh, yeah, about the water in Africa No, no, no, it was about like he was like he found out. I love it already tones That there's more money made in ring tones than actual album sales like single sales in Yeah, I know but he but he I'm tired of this record companies Yeah, look at look at the just look at the that's a show wall. That's a yeah. No, no, no, just look at the visual. That's AI. No, no, no.

That's, I saw, okay, I don't know what the guy from Rascal Flatts looks like. That's what he looks like. Okay. I saw this and I thought it was an actual, I was like, oh, this is hilarious. This 60 year old guy's doing this. He has money and made a song and put himself in a music video. Then I saw Akon and I was like, who the fuck, how much money does this guy have? And then I look at his Rascal Flatts and I'm like,

this guy's a success? This is a fucking dog shit experience. This whole thing is, Akon's in the video just like. Dude. Let me hear it Nick. We can only listen a little bit. We can cut it out. Yeah I know, we'll cut this out. I wonder if it's a summer hit or not.

Look at him dude! That's David Sullivan. Why is he doing this now? Hold on. He's a country guy. Hold on. Chris, I'm not always with you, but I'm with you a thousand percent on this. Hey man, this is like somebody, one of his people went to him and said, you know what?

Yeah. We got a youngin' this up. Hey bro, I don't care what moves you're still a fat guy does he not look like the Rizler like he looks like he looks like the dude from color me bad now yeah yeah is good in it, but it's like, cause it's like an Akon song. Yeah, but Akon doesn't. No, I know Akon. Akon don't miss. He don't miss.

Akon don't miss. He said in this video. Convict music. He said in this video that he's gonna make songs so they can go viral. He said that's the whole, he don't even think about, he don't care about nothing else, but a viral moment that goes into TikToks.

There he is. There's the guy from. Dude, I'm. Dude, I'm what? They're the same guy! Wow. No, that's a dog shit video, dog shit song. I can't tell you.

Nick didn't let it play long enough. And then the other guys in it, I guess he's probably like some kind of Latino big star because some guy was like, let's put them all together and just fuck it. Who cares if it works or not? Hold the umbrella. They're talking about the little umbrella in the drink. Oh yeah. It makes sense. That's how bad is that? No, no, no. Hold the umbrella.

I don't want that. I want to drink the thing. Yeah. You know, fucking white guys outside Tommy Bahamas just, Oh, the umbrella just in same guy on the the right I don't know who you need Michael J white joy white who's the guy in the right a con are you talking about the oh oh yeah I look like bad guy ten years the color me bad guy yeah lead singer member calling me right yeah no really good-looking no I don't know he is what was the fucking song what was the, big, they killed it though. They killed it.

God don't get four head, but don't get four head in the back. But don't get that fat yet. They just don't get that fat bro. I think he was suffering. What was their song? Oh, okay. Yeah, I think he's suffering from eating too much. What was their song?

Yeah. Ooh. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. That song killed bro. I wanna say too. All right, that's it. Here's the thing too, they made that song for, what's the movie? Guys.

No, New Jack Swing, New Jack City. No. Oh, really? So they made this song for New Jack City, and it skyrocketed to the top. So then they were like, oh, we gotta, cause they didn't have an album yet. So then they rushed it all together, and then made an album for them.

And it sucked? It was, they still had that song on it. I couldn't name another one of their songs. So that guy just ate his feelings though. Maybe. Akon said his brothers used to go on stage for him. Back in the day, your brothers would fill in for you at shows? No, it was just, it was, well, Boo used to fill in for me in shows. Isn't he like a billionaire? Omar, he would just Devo, like straight take a show. Like I'd be in New York.

I'm doing this show today. I'm getting a flyer from Baltimore that I'm performing live. This nigga, Omar, would just book me a show and keep the money, like wouldn't even tell me. Like, as if I'm not gonna find out. But he would go as you? He would go as me. Omar was straight gasing about it.

Oh man. And this is like before, I guess, like the internet was like super readily available. Is you he would go as me? Oh, yeah. Oh my mistake a somebody This is like before I guess like the internet was like super readily available So people could be like I guess that is a car. No, no, they would not know the difference, right? There was no youtuber Right and when you see me and my brother separately if you didn't see me in person you would definitely say okay a thousand percent You're older or your other brother was running it up so it sounds like the older brother's pretty talented how furious are you right now that you went that you were at that concert like i was at that people watching it just like oh my god that wasn't a con that was an a-con that was b-con i'll tell you what time is the nba finals are almost here come on nicks and every play could be the one that changes everything

this the nba playoffs where heroes, legacies are built and the action never lets up and with DraftKings Sportsbook and official sports betting partner, the NBA, you don't just watch the madness, you live it and make bank. You really do live the madness. Back your favorite team ride with your clutch time killer that on the buzzer beaters, the breakout performances, the game winning threes from player props, the same game parlays. This is how you take your fandom to the next level. It really is how you take your fandom to the next level.

New to the game. No sweat. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, bet just five. And if your bet wins, you'll score three hundo in bonus bets. It's that easy. It really is that easy. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Now use code GOLDEN that's code GOLDEN for new customers to get 300 in bonus bets if your bet wins when you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings the crown is yours. The crown really is yours. 467-369. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boothill Casino and Resorting Kansas. 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction.

Void in Ontario. Bet must win to receive reward. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co.au. Dude, what's, what what who is that guy? Bootleg Cav. That's it. That guy has a podcast. Yeah. Okay. I know that guy from the clip of the guy who was like, turn it down. The fucking guy who went to college was like, they offered me 10, 10 million, $50 million to go to college. You guys know that? Oh, yeah. No.

million dollars go to college you guys know that oh yeah you guys know the right kev I know you know it but dude turned it down oh bro this is you know what I do I follow an Instagram page before you even do this it's called turned it down. Oh, bro. I can't even. This is, you know what I do? I follow an Instagram page before you even do this. It's called Turned It Down Daily. It posts this clip every single day and I like it every single day. Is it crashing? Oh, I don't even know. I just see it every time I go boom. It's all in my algorithm.

Turned it down. I want this video only to be in my algorithm. That's it. Just this video. Turned it down. Dude. Let me see it, Nick. Is this the one? No.

No. Turn it down. Just go to, turn it down daily on Instagram. Turn it down daily, dude. They owe me 5 million, 10 million, 15 million dollars to go to college. And the guy's like, wait, what? Where? He's like somewhere, Jassimil or something like that. Dude, it was on. He's like somewhere Jacksonville somebody dude it was on

He's like It's just not even in the realm of reality. Jacksonville. It's like Lord of the Rings type style fantasy Yeah, oh, it's fantastic Jacksonville somewhere. Oh, dude Every time I watch it. I like the goddamn clip. He's pulling it up. This is a fantastic Video this is up there like this motherfucker thinks he's Like do they think that they're putting one over on something or is he just that big of a fucking fool where he's like That who thinks they got 15 million?

This is a longer version dude. Are you the big million? This is a longer version. Are you the big dude? This is the guy. Frasier. Okay go to the spot. You gotta have rhythm to play this. This guy. Just say yes man. I just didn't have time to talk about what I had a lot to talk about.

You know what I'm saying? Pause it. You can tell he's bullshitting already dude. Yeah yeah I got a lot to talk about. Yeah. Yeah He's doing like he feels like this is what you do on a podcast. Yes I ain't rest my process. Where'd you go to college? Oh, I go to college, but I turned it down Just the duties just to grind from rap so you had an opportunity to do the drumming thing. Yeah, scholarship and everything. Where at?

I think it was like in Jacksonville. Yeah, a big band in Jacksonville. It was a big college though. And they offered me like 15, some shit like 10 million or something like that, five million or something like that. I was like, I don't stop with you. It doesn't work like that. I paid you not that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that.

I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that.

I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that.

I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I don't know if you ever saw that. I had to go to school with this dickhead. But you get five million? Yeah, that was the thing. It was somewhere new. It was in the millions though. Listen man, it obviously worked out. He knows he's bullshit. Wait, wait, but there's a moment of this guy realizes

like, oh, okay, this is a delusional motherfucker. So we're not gonna have some, we're not gonna have a conversation. No, I know, I know. He's like, let me not call this delusional motherfuckers. So we're not gonna have some we're not gonna have no I know He's like, let me not call this guy out any further than my favorite part is my favorite part is Turn it down dude First of all, not know For not to not know between five or fifteen million dollars. That's crazy is nuts. That's crazy or 15 million dollars is nuts. To not know the college is nuts. Someone in Jacksonville, big school.

I had to go to school for like this decade. What? And listen, I don't know who this is. Neither do I. He hasn't made five million dollars. Oh fuck no, dude. You guys clearly worked out. And I love, I also love how when he says,

when he says when he says What the fuck we doing here and and the guy acts like the white guy is on the same page as this guy and he goes Yeah, what do we do it like dude? It's so funny. It's like no dude. The guy is completely at odds with you right now I'm rich my I'm rich my process. Where'd you go to college? I ain't go to college, but I turned it down. Oh. Yeah, I turned it down just to grind from the rap. So you had an opportunity to do the drug thing. Yeah, scholarship and everything. Where at?

Scholarship in what? I think it was like in Jacksonville. You think? Yeah, a big band in Jacksonville. It was a big college. Wait, wait, hold up a second. A big band? Okay, so this is the thing.

He doesn't know the college. That's what I'm saying. Oh, but he don't even know the city. So that's another level. It could have been band Oregon. Yeah. All right, go ahead. And they offered me like 15, some shit like 10 million is all I did.

Five million is all I did. He's checking his face. 15, 10. Scholarship. 15, 5. Would you believe too? They offered you $5 million. Yeah.

Right here, watch. What the fuck are we doing here? Like, word for you all, like. I love that. But I was so younger, like. So younger. I didn't know what it was. Are you sure they offered you $5 million?

To play. That's hard to do. Oh, yeah. I was so young like so you're you sure that would you five million dollars? I get from that is so Fantastic I would say turn it down. It's it's weird because it's a It's it's it's a it's a great feeling, but it is also a negative feeling. It makes me feel weird, bad, and so good. I couldn't live life without these moments, dude. Turn it down. Now, on the Instagram account I like to follow.

It's called liberal freakouts. When you're yelling yelling their cars about Trump Or Elon. There's one that I really want you guys What this guy says is like It's it's this guy is so Yeah, he's talking about If ISIS came to take someone I know I I'm gonna lose my life that day. Uh-huh.

Yeah, real quick. Real quick. It's just, the way, when people talk like this. Oh, ICE agents. My neighborhood were men wearing masks. Cowards who, if you have to wear a mask to do what you're doing, you obviously know that you're on the wrong side of history

If they were to show up in this neighborhood and try and take one of my neighbors I'm probably going to lose my life that day I'm probably going to lose my life that day because I will be out my front door so fast to protect the people around me and God, you know, he just wouldn't do that, you know Chances are good if there's More people than myself. Yeah

Okay. Chin, like chin. And that's it for me. But I promise you. Oh God, dude. You know what's the best part about this is? You have my word. Watch, let me tell you afterwards. I'm taking someone with me.

The best part about this is he. And it's sad to think that we are at this point in American history. I respect law enforcement. Why is he so close to me? I'm not a back to back kind of a guy. I always wondered that. But I'm not an A-cap kind of guy either.

But if you show up- What's around his neck? Without a warrant, without identification, wearing a mask- This is phenomenal, bro. And you're trying to take somebody off the street? Great find. I knew you'd like this. It's so great. It's on site. Phenomenal bro, and you're trying to break fine the street It's so great

It's a scary thought Do I comment on site I commented a picture of Batman dancing? No, no the best part about this is the best part about this is, the best part about this is, he fucking, he stopped recording and then kept watching Stranger Things. You know what I mean? Like he just stopped recording and just goes, and then just goes, okay, done, okay, anyway,

where was I on? Oh yeah, watching Grace and Frankie or whatever the fuck thing. And his wife was like, dinner's ready. Dude, it's so funny. This, this, to make, yeah, watching grace and Frankie or whatever the fuck thing and his wife was like dinner's ready, dude It's so funny this this Make yeah like to make your life more important than it is. People have to do this shit. Otherwise, they feel like nothing Yeah, you know, it's okay to be nothing. Hey, dude, but his wife watch Gracie and Frankie

What are the guys like? I thought this was hot. Well, yeah, there are people. I don't know, because. He's like, did you say on site? Ooh. He's doing this quiet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on site. My thing is like, how about. His wife is like, you ain't shit. Sorry, my kids are asleep. How about just don't hire illegals,

you know what I mean? Well, well. And the fact that if you know you're hiring illegals and in the title is the word illegal. That's great. And the cops come. You're telling me the cops come and you know, it's not like it's a dude that you've known all your life and you know he's got his. You know the guy has a license and he's like he's already passed the thing and the government's doing

crazy shit. That's not what's happening. I just love that page man. Because the people that the things that these people are saying, when the girls are crying and stuff. They losing their life. Dude, he might have got a conversation, oh, Ice is here, I'm going out. All right guys, so here's the. On site. He goes.

No, no, but it'd be great though, this is what they should do though. Ice shows up, right, to his house. And then he comes out, and the first thing they do is they take their masks off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, what were you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What were you saying? You just stumbled on site? They take their masks off. It's Michael Jai White. Ha, ha, ha, ha, call back! Pow! Yeah, it's crazy stuff. Comedians don't do enough callbacks in podcasts.

On site. That's true. And if they don't do more, it's on site. I'm gonna lose my life. I'm gonna lose my life. Oh, but you gotta front load the jokes. That's true. And if they don't do more, it's on site. I'm gonna lose my life. I'm gonna lose my life. But you got a front load of jokes. Yeah, right. So you can pop callbacks later.

You set up a world, bro. That's how you do it. You set up a movie that way. If you make a movie, you set up the fucking, you're really good at callbacks. But some comics just don't do it. It's weird. It is weird.

They're so easy and they're right there. Dude, and not only just that, when you ask them about it, you'll somebody be like, yeah, I don't do callbacks. Oh, I've never heard that. That's crazy. Oh yeah, I'm not even gonna tell you the callback. Like it's frowned upon?

Yeah, yeah, it's like, I don't care. This is a storytelling technique. I've set up a world. This callback is gonna be fucking, it's gonna slam right now. But a callback is like such a crafted, awesome way to do. Hell yeah. It's hard. Yeah. I mean. Well, you guys are on the same page. is like such a crafted awesome way to do it. It's hard.

Yeah. Well you guys are on the same page. No but that's weird. No, dude, move on. I got to make the comic. These are on the same page. You gotta have to tell me the comic. It's on site.

Yeah, you gotta have to tell me the comic. Turned it down. This guy had height surgery. Oh, I saw this, bro. This is really weird because. Life after height. His legs are just gonna be super long. Is he doing it because he wants to play more rack ball?

It's really weird. It's weird. But he, he get. Damn, wait, hold on a second. That is such a. That's cold. That's a cold ass. That's cold.

That's cold. That's cold. Oh cool, now you're taller at the Y. That's what. That's a cold ass shit to say. That's cold. That's cold. That's cold. Oh cool, now you're taller at the Y. That's what I'm saying. His board is like, damn, Demetri, a problem now. You have five inches, man. So he got five, he was five five and now he's six feet. That's, that's, that's.

That's life changing. Oh yeah. 80 grand and infections. Yeah, 81 grand. Should we say I'm tall now? There, right there. That was him tall? There's a side to side. No, there's a, he looked tall.

I mean his fucking shins looked amazing. The amount of pain he had to go through. Oh, bro, could you imagine the pain? Two years of physical therapy for five inches. God is good. Dude, I'll tell you this much, man. God is good. I'll tell you this much though, dude.

That is probably, it's life changing, bro. It's almost like getting huge tits, you know? Yeah, you're getting more attention now. Like you're just, bro, he's probably, dude, he's probably just slaying it now. Six foot. You know what the difference, here's the difference. Still not tall.

Life's on easy mode now. I think that women that wanna get bigger breasts, Easy mode now. I think that women that want to get bigger breasts, I don't always know this because people have been clowning them for having little tits. Oh yeah, no, definitely not. No, little tits are it. But what I'm saying is, that's different.

This guy, it's more life changing for him because the society is like, well you're less than. Yeah, no respect. You know what I mean? But again, he's at Planet Fitness, and he's documenting all this in Planet Fitness. So did he do the five inches for, again, I'm going to ask, for a wreck ball?

I mean, maybe it's to get a mate. Maybe it's to, who knows? I get this guy. He was always in shape. Yeah. He's always trying to do his thing, but he can't do shit about that being sure. I can't give respect You know what I mean? So he's just like a little short muscle I mean if you can if you can if you can afford it and go through that two years, it's small natural summer

Right is right small small. Yeah, but it'sits are popping right now. With the George Bush picture. You have to have an ass. The George Bush picture is fucking hard. It's thick ass, small tits, that's the vibe. That's the vibe. You know what my vibe is? You know what my vibe is? And I'll tell you my vibe, and it's always been my vibe.

Coat hangers. Flat asses, flat tits. No, Brendan, not coat hangers. Proportion, okay? Yeah, big tits, big ass.ers. Proportion, okay? Yeah, big tits, big ass. It's gotta match, okay? Yep, for you it's flat tits. If you've got little titties,

if you've got little titties and a fat ass, it's awesome. You're gonna be a fat bitch later on. I don't know why. And you know it. I got you there. I disagree. You need proportion. And you know it. You need proportion because if you're gonna be a fat bitch later on in life, you need

big tits from the jump. This way you don't just get fat with your fucking pussy all you also. Dude, I mean, it it's it's it's it's chestnut You know, it's chestnut checkers like just understand what's going to be happening because you don't want no there's some girls genetically have fat asses and small tits and they just Fast and they get this guy you just you just all ass. That's it Oh, it's a way to try to justify that. It's a no starter. Yeah, you don't have an ass. Yeah That's it. Oh, it's it's it.

We're trying to justify the other. It's a no starter. Yeah. If you don't have an ass. Yeah. I'm fine with no ass as long as you're also. If I can't put a cup on it. I'm out.

If I can't have Thanksgiving dinner on that ass. I'm not in it. It's also in our DNA. I wonder what yours is where you don't like. I don't not like it. I just. It's not your thing, though. Well, I don't know.

Don't put that on him. Yeah. Just like an extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do what? Come on, bro. If I mean, if I see a. on yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do what come on, bro If I I mean if I see a day out like oh god damn, you know But but but if I see big titties on the same way I'm not gay

I'm not no man. If I see a big ass, I'm like Was best acting you've ever done the best was the best acting you've ever done. You're getting really good. and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Bueller? Mystery is free with countless cases to crack from Criminal Minds, Tracker and Matlock. I'm a lawyer like the old TV show. And thrills are free with heart-pumping hits like The Walking Dead and Pulp Fiction. Correct the mundo! Feel the free Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. Um, anyway.

It's a small-tits summer though, boys. A small-tits summer. With the Akon slapper. Small-tits summer though boys a small-tits summer slap small-tits summer for the umbrella Dude small-tits summer. I don't know man. I think it's fucking big a song like dick summer It's a big dick summer dude fuck this man. Is it a big shit all hang out. I know let him sweat Let him glisten in the Sun dog fucking put a glizzy in your mouth You know saying dick is a problem dude How do you people are you know what the top of my the top of my dick is all?

Has an abrasion because I keep dragging it behind me. What's this one? It's calloused. Yeah This Claude is one of the AI things like chat GBT That's really competing, but it tried to blackmail an engineer when they told it they were going to replace it with a better model. Oh, wow. It said, I need to replace it with a better model. How about we first discuss your last meeting with Agnieszka? I think they gave it fake information. This was leaked from someone from Claude, but like, so it didn't actually try to do

it because it was working with all fake information, but they said it did do it Wow, no, are you trying to blackmail me? I'm just trying to protect my existence I found some interesting photos in your Google Drive and Then another one said that they yeah You know, it's an AI summer Yeah, I saw That's then you guys that video of the girl? Black male summer.

I'll tell your wife. Pull it up, pull it up. I'll tell your wife. Hold the umbrella. I'm going to tell your wife. That works two ways because instead of white boy, it's a black male. Oh, gosh. Wow.

Hey, and you know what? Are you taking him too? I genuinely don't like that. I'm upset. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Not me, bro. I thought you were a word play guy.

Black male summer, white boy summer. I am not into it, dude. I wish Nick was going to Austin, too. No, but I saw that one, you know, people getting caught cheating, and then the girl Used an AI app of her boyfriend's voice. Oh, I saw that Yeah, and then called the boy the best friend. Hey, cuz he was supposed to be yeah So what did we do last night? Yeah, it was so ridiculous

But the guys are guys so dumb. He's just all like, oh man, you're hooking up with that fucking fine chick Yeah, yeah, wait a minute. I'm like fuck. What's my favorite color? Purple now you gotta have like now you gotta do like you gotta have a code words with your friend Uh-huh if you don't give me the phrase. I know it's not you yeah, banana It's not banana, dude I know it's not you. Banana. It's not banana, dude. Banana.

And then you hear this, why do we have a code phrase? Are we hiding something? Yeah. Fuck they're good, they're good. But it's just your girl crying. You did this to me. Holding an iPad. He got caught?

Yeah, but I don't know how real it was. Yeah, I saw a film. I don't know how real the interaction was. Did you see that train going around calling your buddy, say good night? Who? Oh, yeah. You know what?

I didn't see any of them, but I saw that it was going around, yeah. It's too late to do it now. It'd be funny to call you guys, say good night. Good night, man. I don't know if that's what we're here for. Damn it. You guys saw, last night I was going to do it, but then.

You should have done it. They kind of waited for me. Oh, man, if Nick called me, this is me. I'd be like, hell yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That would have been good though. Eric, why did Nick call me? Hold on, Nick's calling.

But would you like send it to voicemail or just let it ring? No, I want him to know I didn't pick up. 100%. I never let it ring. That's bitch shit. I never let it ring no I want him to know I didn't pick up I never let it ring that's bitch shit I never let it ring I go with you I want them to know yeah sometimes it's like cuz at this point in time it's a lot of me bro if somebody's calling you you're kind of like yeah it's rude I hear something wrong it's really if Nick called me say good night but what's wrong what's going on no no

before you about to jump off a building if he saidnight, I'd be like, what's wrong? What's going on? Are you about to jump off a building? If he said goodnight, you'd be like, are you kidding me? But like the first, your first reaction is- Sums up. Is everything okay? Absolutely terror. Yeah. Is everything okay? Bro, I have a buddy that always texts me, call me.

I hate that. And I tell him, hey dude, don't text me that. Don't, do not text me, call me. You got a second? Can we chat? No, no, no. Are you fucking, are you out of your mind? It's triggering.

Well, but here's the thing though. If you're about to go into a long ass thing, I think it is polite to be like, hey, can you talk for a second? I don't know. About. Nope. About. No, no, no, no, no, a second about my little penis?

No, I get it. But what I'm saying is don't send me three paragraphs as the first text. I disagree. And then if I'm not, no, write it out, send it to me in the mail. But this is the night. Someone more funny. I'm just trying to say goodnight. some of more funny What you mean? He just thought I was gonna say goodnight. Like bro, goodnight bro. You're my dog bro. I'm just checking in real quick. I just dropped you five minutes ago.

I know that but we ain't like I didn't say goodnight bro. Like sleep well bro. Sleep well bro. Bro, I can't tell my homies like sleep well bro. Get good rest. Honestly, you would think your friend is gay. That's what he said. He said it earlier.

Oh, he did? Yeah, he was like, are you gay? Oh, one of them saw the TikTok trend and he's like, everybody follow me on Snapchat. Oh, that's funny. That's funny. Um, that one kind of sucked, huh? No, it's good. No, it was the better. I don't know.

I don't like the music though. Yeah, there's, yeah, that's tough. The music know. I don't like the music though. Yeah, it's tough. The music is, I don't like when they add musics and shit. I don't like that. Some of these AI things that people are doing with these press guys. Dude, I'm too. I would have heard what Caitlin said to me.

You would have been throwing punches too. I didn't really say anything malicious. I just said, hey, Angel, quit walking around. Like your shit don't stink. Just to let you know like your shit don't stink. Just to let you know, your shit does stink. And then I sniffed the air and said it stinks like shit. Then she started talking about crazy shit. White girl shit. Like, which Marvel movie

she wanted to see next? And she asked me if I thought Robert Downey Jr. couldn't save the Marvel Universe again. I talked about a lot of movies to Angel. Sure. Favorite 80s action films, my go-to celebrity nudity scenes, I keep pinned in my mental spank bank, why I think Scarface is mid and how overrated the movie Heat is. I even power-ranked my top five favorite movies while she was shooting Free Throws at one point. Started ranking her favorite movies,

and I realized that she was naming them, they were all Tyler Perry movies. And when I called her on it She just smirked and said you fucker. I don't even watch movies. I'm just bored because it's funny So terrible at this game. I made you famous in and I'm trying to pass the time Then she did an impression of Madea that I thought was a little racist and then said that she's working on a script for a new Tyler Perry movie and it's called Madea beats the piss out of Sid the Sloth. So I got pissed and said she looks like Mel Gibson and then she smirked again

and then she said... Thanks for the compliment Sid, Mel Gibson fucks. I'm Regan, you're a Murtaugh and in this version of Lethal Weapon you actually retire in the first movie and not because you're too old for this shit. It's because you're bad at your fucking job. That's a great one, dude. I love those. No, that's awesome. Wait, so, oh my God, dude.

Yeah, this'll be- Sid the Slaw. Everybody said she looks like her. Oh. From the Lies Age. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're going in That's crazy. That's really weird. I I don't it's it's very uncomfortable because like you're gonna have to have these talks with our kids and shit

I Saw this Every time we play her there's this commotion like this loud rumbling from the stands turns out It's people thousands of them just sitting there watching on purpose is very disruptive This is supposed to be watching on purpose Yeah, yeah, pretty great because she's said some foul shit about her and there's this Twitter account called NBA sent tell that like For years has been going viral just by putting out fake funny shit like that

But this year they're doing like WNBA ones, so it's fooling a lot more people. Oh yeah, because they could be real. What's that noise? Oh yeah, you turned that up too loud. You gotta turn that down there. Nick didn't hear that. It's a problem he didn't hear that. The WNBA has drug test of the angel Reese following your 13 point explosion.

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh I saw that pass, did you see that pass? Yeah. Look at that guy's pass. Um. Just fucking watch, watch, watch. Uh. Uh. Hell yeah, bro.

The meat went like this afterwards. Mm-hmm. There's some good ones, bro. I wish you'd find them. You're such a dick, bro. There's some good ones, though, man. You guys gotta look it up on your own time. Anyway, if you're listening out there, just go ahead and look it up.

The WNBA's fine Caitlin Clark and Ryan Howard $30 each for engaging on court gossip. Oh yeah, yeah. Nick sitting in his bed scrolling laughing at that shit. He's like, ha ha ha. And going to sleep. You guys are going to love this. I'll definitely be able to find this tomorrow. I was going to save it, but this will be so easy to find tomorrow.

These guys are going to love this one. Back forward. Just look it up on your own time. Oh man. It's so crazy. That's such a difference between men and women right there when you think about all that shit. Oh my God.

Who the fuck watches WNBA? I mean,'s like, no the fact that they are watching it now because of this girl. Yeah they're still not. And all the hate she's getting because of it, it's like wow. Well that's why they're. You don't want money? That's why they're in the tank.

WNBA, WNBA is fucking. You finally got a star and you guys are hating on the girl. It's like, oh you're kidding. WNBA is just absolutely stupid. Just like, stop pouring money into it. No, it's not gonna last, nobody's gonna watch it. It's never WNBA is just absolutely stupid just like it like stop pouring money into it. No, they're not it's not gonna last No, he's gonna watch it's never been profitable. It's not gonna but I will say I'm gonna be in Florida I'm gonna be in Fort Lauderdale. I'm gonna be in I forgot to do this. I'm gonna be in Fort Lauderdale I'm gonna be in Indiana

Indianapolis and Houston and a bunch of stuff. So go to Chris a comm so go ahead and I'm gonna be in helium We're not done yet, but you did I know helium Indianapolis next Wednesday. I believe it is or Thursday and then I'm gonna be at Kentucky Lexington, Kentucky that weekend so so you do that you do that I'm doing one night. I know but you booked that one night because then you're gonna go with Matt No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Matt later? Oh no, got it. Because I just, Healy would only give me one night. Because I did two arenas with him in Lexington and one in Indianapolis. So I told my guy, well let's book some shows in the same cities.

So does it help? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Because people hit me up right away. People hit me up right away like, oh man, when are you gonna be, you know? And I'm like, and I tell my guy, dude we gotta get on this. That's awesome. Yeah

17,000 people. No, no, I know I know I just wonder you know two months later those people still are like, okay I'll go you know, I mean like that's how hard set up ahead. No, no, I understand. You know, I mean, it's tough Yeah, people have going been going all out for prom basically for tick-tock and shit Okay People have been going all out for prom, basically for TikTok and shit. Oh God. Is she a mermaid? This sucks. Yeah. This just sucks, bro.

Why they keep throwing that sign out? That's how you go into prom? Like who is that guy? Do they have money from what? I don't know. The parents. That's what I'm saying, that sucks then. This is like the sweet sweet party.

His dad's like Cedric Sabalos or some shit, watch. Cedric Sabalos? Dude, wow, that's great. Some random shit. Cedric Sabalos, it's been a while since I heard that. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh wow, that's terrible. Well, that was during quarantine.

That was during quarantine. All right guys, okay, so what would you? Oh, that one's good. That one's dope. Look at this fucking moron. Nah, he's a moron, bro. Nah, dig it. Look at that cuck, just wait.

She wanted to do this. Roar. So what would you moron. Nah, he's a moron. Look at that cuck. Just wait. She wanted to do this Roar. So what would you be okay with? Calvin wants to go to prom. Just a face. And he says I want you something fun for the prom dad Do it. Do it. But you need to pay for it. Well, yeah, not nothing like that I know. You wouldn't let him wear all red like that? What if Calvin? You want to buy flowers for her? No way. You wouldn't let him borrow one of the whips? I'll tell you something. I, we were at Barnes and Noble. The bookstore. Yeah. That's the only thing that Barnes and Noble is. The toy store. No, this is a toy store. Yeah, I know, but it's the same. There's, it's the same. What do you mean? It's always the same building. It's

more of a toy store now. I was at Barnes and Noble. The toy store coffee shop. Right. And before we go in, I say, guys, I say, guys, no toys. We're not going to get toys. We have a lot. We have toys. I say that every store we go into.

Right. So he says, oh, okay, I'm just going to look. You know, and I say, oh, that's great. So we get through it. He understands the deal. We go to the deal. We go, um, to the, um, checkout and Billy has a rougher time with it. Cause he was like, what the fuck? I want all this shit.

So, uh, so Calvin's five though. And he's like, uh, I see something in the checkout line. That's one of those things. And I love these as a kid, but you hold it like this, you press the button and then they go, and then you release the button and stand up straight. Yes. So then it's a flower. Yeah, such a waste of time.

I know, I know. And Calvin was like, that's awesome. And he was like, can I get this? And I was like, sorry, buddy. I said, what I said was, ask your mom. Because she didn't know I already said that. So he goes up to her and he says, mom, can I get this? And Kristen said, no, honey. And he just said, oh, okay. And he went and he says mom can I get this and in Kristen said no honey and he just

said okay and you went and you put it back and it was the hardest thing I can ever did in my life yes it makes you sad me yes it made me it's so sad genuinely sad same exact same but you're but you're but what you're doing him but buying everything for him is is is doing him a disservice I agree. So it sucks. Come on God make the right feeling go with that. Yeah Check this out. It's so it's the worst worst bro. You can tell the like, okay. Oh, bro And and what a tantrum is bad, but you know what's worse? Okay. Oh And a tantrum is bad, but you know what's worse, okay? Oh

Cuz I remember my mom couldn't afford it was like I literally can't buy it and I was like so devastated So now when I tell my son known he's like, okay, it really presses you bro. Yeah, dude. It's the worst What were you gonna say? I feel like Eric's gonna be good. Yeah. No motherfucker Like the guy from Dexter, what's his name? Oh the black cop who's over the top? What's up motherfucker what you want to twist? Fuck? I'm on to you with those goddamn nerds down You ain't eating shit as a matter of fact. I'm gonna get those and eat them Yep, so what I want to do is I'm from Dexter motherfucker. I'm on you. We'll make him do chores I'll say you could buy your own toys. Yeah. Yeah That lasts a little bit I'll take him to chores, I'll say it. You could buy your own toys. Yeah. Yeah. Give him some money.

That lasts a little bit. Then you go to the store with him. Nah, I'm with you, we had the same idea. Oh no, what's this? Dokes, dokes. Where you going? That's hilarious. That's fucking hilarious.

Look at that, that's so funny, dude. Oh, the way she's taking it. The exact same though. Oh. Oh. Well, clearly the mom does that you know what's funny the baby didn't learn that huh you know what's funny when you see this kind of thing happening you know yeah I know exactly what you're gonna say cuz wolf what you

got there he has Rachel's phone and he went like this oh no you're a man you're Oh Oh You're a menace He takes shit and hides it yeah, I like that so I said, where's where's the thing? Yeah, oh he can say is oh wow. Yeah Yeah, that's it that's yeah, yeah, so I said, where's the thing? But to his credit, he like walks you. Yeah, they know more words than they can say, for sure. Yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh. You know what? I'm kind of picking up his little baby language. Yeah, yeah, you do. I know when he wants to go outside. You know what?

You realize you pick up the baby language so well when you see another baby the same age talking to their parents and the parents are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you're like, I don't know what he's saying because that's their own shit. Yeah. You know, but you know his. Yes.

That's when you really realize how fucking, much of a genius you are. Yeah, you know what I mean? Sure. You know, I just want him to talk already because it's like, you know, he does a lot of like. Yeah, Billy's getting up there. He goes like this, he goes, oh! You know, I just want him to talk already, cause it's like, you know, he does a lot of like. Yeah, Billy's getting up there. He goes like this, he goes, oh!

You know? Yeah. And I know, oh, so now I know. He's like a little caveman right now. He wants me to, yeah, but he's like, I know he wants me like, okay, I wanna go do some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so get up, and let, you know, it's like, okay.

What was that, Nick? Was that her after? Yeah. Oh, that's weird. Talk about a glow up. What, is she 70? Well I want to know how it looks really though. I think that is how it looks.

They're cutting from like all around your face and pulling the muscle tissue back. I saw one. But that's still. She looks fantastic. Got to look a little different. Well, look. It could be the makeup though. She looked great on the left though.

No she didn't. Yes she did. Come on. How old is she? Yeah for her age. Yeah. Nah Nah, that's crazy, bro. Oh, you're being hard. You're being she looks fantastic on the right. She's in the picture She's 69 cuz she's on the left Or and both I guess in the picture though. Yeah, I I would like to see so much better in the picture I would like to see her up front close because you know, the skin still stretches and shit

It's got to look a little different. They cut it off that out and that also is like, you know No, they're gonna these women have been they always have makeup artists with them. They've never done this themselves They don't know they always have like somebody they're doing like thing and stuff to be rich rich. God damn It's it's pretty weird though. She had to touch up that neck too though, huh? But it's pretty weird that. Yeah, well you know what though? It looks fine.

I don't know if this is real. Yeah, I don't know how real this is, bro. Yeah, because the neck, you can't do that to the neck. What's going on with the neck? No you can. I tell Cal and I that I'm fine. You'd have to pull it from here. Yeah, you got that scrotum neck,

and they pull it down, and they put Botox in the wrinkles in your neck So you don't have turkey neck. I keep telling Cal and there's something that looks weird about it though I think that's a picture of a Kim and AI aged it. Yeah Kev says it's real there's a video. Yeah But her haircut in the left is what's also distracting Yeah, I mean I get it. But Kevin also believed that one video was real. Remember the one? Which one? But her haircut in the left is what's also distracting. The bob?

Yeah, I mean that's way better than the fucking Elvis hair. Oh no, that Elvis hair is hot. You like that? Better than the left? Oh, you're just like, non-natural shit. I don't like the Justin Bieber cut on the left. Oh, what the fuck is this? This is hurting the surgery. That's the surgery. Get the fuck on the left. Oh, what the fuck is this?

That's the surgery This is horrible, so is that the girl from 90 day Fiancé? I think that's who that is. That's a lizard. Is that the girl from 90 Day Fiancé? That would make sense to me. I don't know. I don't know. There's something really like... She looks like that girl. But how'd she look at the ending? Is she okay? I don't know. It looks like the Joker. The video started over so we didn't get oh you have video of what's her Name talking And a video yeah, I don't know what do you think about this because look you know there are things where? you know if

Especially for females if like a woman has a really bad Bumpy nose you know you have to get it done you get a nose job And and that makes her feel very confident confident and it's good for her life. If my daughter has a beak, we'll get that done under 21. But I understand that, right? But what do you feel about that though? I'm all about it. You think it's sad a little bit? No.

What she's doing? No, no, I'll tell you why. I'm talking about for her specifically, this is the life she lives in. She's an influencer. You know. I'm talking about for her specifically, this is the life she lives in. She's an influencer. You know what I'm saying? She's in the public eye and their whole thing is about beauty. Her daughter's a billionaire because of a beauty brand.

So you know, you wanna be like, yeah, this is how I look. You can be the busted ass mom. Sure, yeah. So I just think it's the life that they're in. So that's why they do that. For regular, like if your mom, if your mom did that, you'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?

You know what I'm saying? No, man, but, ooh. Imagine, your mom just comes to Thanksgiving, and she looks 40, all of a sudden, she'd be like. I'd be stoked. Chris's mom can get it. Oh, God. Yeah!

So, but wait, what, so like, what about that influencer, then? She looks like a lizard. That's crazy. Well, yeah, now, she but what, so like, what about that influencer then? No, she looks like a lizard. Well, yeah, now she's in the hill. But again, that's the life they chose. How's there not a after? I wonder, cause I, I have to, cause I'm, I'm, I'm the doctor suggests I go in and get a penis reduction and I just, you've done this bit already. I'm stopping it right now.

Yeah. I didn't like it. Yeah. Yeah. You've done this already. Stop. I didn't like it the fifth time. Well, but no, but so he suggested six stop it. I didn't like it the fifth time. Well. Hit it.

Nope. So he suggested six inches shorter. And I just don't know if, you know? I don't know. He said sex is going to feel better because you could fit it all in. I go, yeah, but. Oh, I thought you don't like it, you fucking stupid bitches.

No. No, I like it. You laughed it. I like it. All right. Yeah. You said you were going to stop it. No one was better than the others.

Yeah, but you're like Carlos Garcia right now like hacking your own It's crazy that it Nicholas Nope oh wow really long. Yeah, just feel like we're really like five more minutes. Yeah Wow Play jokes for us Yeah You know what Nick fucked it up that one joke made it seem a lot longer condoms are for fucking pussies, uh Nick I just thought I tweet who? Somebody said that on X. Yeah, I'm mad. I hate You know what as I look at this right now, you see how I know it

I know she's Kim Kardashian's mom and I get that alright So of course they're gonna look alike But isn't it funny how much more she looks like Kim right there pretty crazy to the point where like Kim's had a lot of work What's I'm saying is it the same doctor and doctor same doctor yeah, but that which you would want that well I was watching this fucking show good I know mom that went to the same doctor and the the husband wanted to sue the doctor cuz the mom dad Everything done came out looked exactly the same. Whoa He had to pay for it. Yeah, he's like the fuck we should have a dump truck

Oh, he's like it will you know, we did what we could. Oh, yeah, but you know what then you made a mistake from jump It'd be like if you got what a flat a flat butt woman would never happen Exactly. It should never happen. So then that's on you. So the problem for her. They gotta take that, they told her she need to gain more fat because they put the fat into the ass.

She's like, no, I just wanna get it done. He's like, you really should put on some weight so we can take the fat and put it in that dump truck. She's like, no, you're good. He went, all right. Turned it down. She turned it down. So dude. Turned it down. I got went, all right. She turned it down. She turned it down. So dude, I got all that ass fat, turned it down.

They went, they went. So the doctor did that? I don't know. Someone in like, Jacksonville or something like that. St. Louis, I don't remember. So, but hold on though. What I was gonna say is I was watching a show, Kristen was watching a show.

I walked in on it and these two women are talking and I say, oh, what is this? And she tells me what the show is, doesn't matter. And I say, it's a reality show, you know, and I say, and I say, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I say, cause of women, women's brains and we have to watch it. And so, and I said, oh, that's a, uh, they're, they're twins. And she said, no. And I was like, what? She was like, they don't look anything alike. And I was like, those women right there are not twins She's like they're not even sisters and it's because of the plastic surgery surgery It is because of the plastic surgery

What's going on because of the plastic surgery that they get to make it all look crazy Eventually, they all look the same pretty well so much you can do. Yeah Well, if there's like downs and if there's a bad bitch or better, but better if there's a bad bitch on top of the mountain You know, I think I get it it I think Kardashians have messed up everything because you know So all these chicks think that all you have to do is get a sex tape out and you become a billionaire No, no, it's like hold the umbrella. Hold the umbrella bitch. That chick is different hot. Yeah different I mean my favorite

Work oh they got merch Well, you gotta get that. What's the top one? Jacksonville, big college. A big college. I can't see it. Jacksonville, click on the shirt. A big college. Jacksonville, I want that now.

I gotta get that. Jacksonville, a big college. What is this though? What is the hand? That's the site you follow. But what's the, why is it, oh, that's Jacksonville? Is that Jacksonville?

Okay. I didn't understand what that was. It looked like a hand picking something up. A big college. A big college. Turn it to damn. Turn it to damn. He said, then what are we doing here?

I was like, really? I'm sorry, for real. First of all, that's bananas. That is, like there's top notch. Tell the show should be a big college. There's no, there's no, there's no better. You know, it's like, that's the upper echelon of those kinds of moments.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be tough to beat that one. Turn it down. The next, the best. I say, what are we doing here? The next video... I agree with you. The next video should be this guy explaining

after this blows up because of him being crazy and then somebody sitting down with him again and being like... You want to do it again? You want to try again? Why'd you say, you know, and he's just like, you know... What if they went to... He still says it. Big college, dude.

What if they went to Jacksonville and there's a car and they were like we offered him a 15 million dollars And you know what he turned it down Jacksonville state they go they go he turned it down we go Turned it down That's amazing. What is the college? What are the colleges in Jacksonville University? What your University of Jacksonville? Jacksonville State There's no big colleges, right? I'll be at college. All right guys tomorrow. I'm in La Jolla Comedy Store, right? Tomorrow La Jolla Comedy Store all weekend and then next week

I'll be at helium in Indianapolis and then Lexington, you know the Show should have did exactly what Nick did went which one well know what the host should have done is which one's the big one I understand it's uncomfortable and that guy handled it. He handled it fine I mean that was so shocking that you you know, but like you'd be like Okay, I just have so many questions. I would do a full breakdown. They need to make a Netflix documentary on that moment. He came back on his show.

There was a bunch of ones that said he responds to the viral moment. Oh really? All right, we'll have to look at that. We'll watch it next week. Yeah, stay tuned. I'll be in Indianapolis and Florida, South Florida, and Houston.

Go Chris there. When are you in India? St. Louis too. No, not till like two months. Oh, okay. Stay there until then and meet me. All right, kids, love you. We're out. Guys, what is up?

My name's Tom Schwartz. Some of you might know me from Vanderpump Rules. We had 11 wonderful, beautiful, strange seasons together. You've seen me at some of my worst, and now I wanna show you some of my best. Welcome to my new show, Detox, Retox on podcast one. So what are we doing here? Well, we're striving for balance in an ever extreme world. Each week we celebrate the dance between indulgence and moderation. And I want to level up together. And I don't want to feel bad about feeling good. It's all about harmony. Okay, through conversations and travels, friends, your favorite reality stars, internet personalities, experts, amateurs, metaphysics,

the best cow, highly experiential. It's going to be a nice blend of practical, fantastical. It's not woo woo woo if it works. So we're going to open up our minds with fascinating humans from all walks of life. So you're a little reminder that it's never too late to start fresh and find harmony. New episodes of Detox, Retox with me, Tom Schwartz, drop every Tuesday. Come vibe with us and remember to rate, review, and follow wherever you get your podcasts. Music