The Golden Hour - I’m Punk Now | The Golden Hour #13 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Starting point is 00:00:00 Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code GOLDEN. New customers can bet $5 on the conference championship and get 200 in free bets instantly. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with the code GOLDEN. I'll say this next part because you always mess up the word eligibility. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Nothing wrong with being an only child.

Starting point is 00:00:25 Right? Hey. Nothing wrong with being an only child. Right? Hey. Nothing wrong. Look, I was an only child, too, for three years. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Cause I can show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Starting point is 00:01:03 Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour Let's do this, dude. If you take Chris's phone away, his nose starts to bleed. Dude, I didn't have my phone for over a month, and my shit was sitting pretty. Let me tell you something. It almost died.

Starting point is 00:01:21 It takes... It's hilarious. He literally looked down at his phone. Yeah, he did. He's all... I didn't know it was still on. He almost died. It takes. It's hilarious. He literally looked down at his phone. He's on. I didn't know it was still on. He went like this. Dude, I'll tell you what. I've been out in a month.

Starting point is 00:01:33 Yeah. It was three days, four days, and then it takes about four days, and I was like, okay, I can do this. To unclench? Yeah. To kind of go through the withdrawals? To get through and to be like, okay. And then they say like two weeks is like the major marker.

Starting point is 00:01:49 To me, it was like four days. I was like, you know what? I'm just chilling. This is just basically the 90s. They say it takes two weeks to break a habit. Yeah, they do. They do. Who says that?

Starting point is 00:02:00 Doctors? I don't know. I don't know. People always say doctors say shit, but I don't even know doctors. You can't trust them. Well, you can't, but also I don't know. Do you't know. People always say doctors say shit, but I don't even know doctors. You can't trust them. Well, you can't, but also I don't know. Do you know doctors? Do you talk to doctors?

Starting point is 00:02:10 You might. I don't know doctors. I know a few doctors. I know one doctor. I just went to the doctor like a few months ago, and I was really disappointed. And then I started to realize when you're a young person, you're only going to the doctor if, say, you break your arm or something specific. Serious shit. And they know how to fix that.

Starting point is 00:02:25 That's chlamydia. Trust it, right? Wait, wait, wait. I mean, that stuff. Syphilis and whatever you get. Herpes. Scurvy. But what I'm saying is when it's time to go for, like, something like, you know, you're

Starting point is 00:02:36 like, oh, you have low testosterone or cholesterol. They don't know shit. All this kind of stuff. You kind of go, oh, I have to actually really kind of research this myself and ask the doctors that really are into this. No, you need a specialist. A specialist is what you need. Do you know what these people – I was so disappointed.

Starting point is 00:02:53 Like a general doctor? Do you have a real issue? A general doctor? What do you do with an hourglass figure like that? Dude, a general? My doctor. Bam, bam, bam. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:01 Dude, if you go – Hey, hold on. Stop the show. Why are your nails black? Okay. Hey, hold on. Hold on. Let me just ask you something. Yeah. Hey, hold on. Stop the show. Why are your nails black? Okay. Hey, hold on. Hold on. Let me just ask you something.

Starting point is 00:03:08 Hey, you know magic? No, let me ask you. You Chris Angel? No. Are you a witch at night? Are you a warlock? So I'm punk rock, and I will tell you this. So I'm punk rock.

Starting point is 00:03:21 So now I'm punk rock, okay? You know, life is constantly about change, constantly about growth. I'm punk rock. And I'm punk rock okay you know life is constantly about change constantly about growth I'm punk rock and I will tell you this dude I was in the northwest I was doing shows in Portland and Seattle

Starting point is 00:03:31 I didn't even realize it but the punk rock was taking over a few days beforehand right like I was in the grunge scene and I'm grunge okay

Starting point is 00:03:37 and I'm grunge with the two chains yeah well you know I'm still me but I'm also grunge right Kurt Cobain wore chains yeah okay so and he killed himself alright when he was 26 I'm well past, but I'm also grunge, right? Kurt Cobain wore chains. No, no. Yeah, okay, so.

Starting point is 00:03:45 And he killed himself. All right. When he was 26. I'm well past that. Well past that. We're past that point. So, it's Tupac. A lot of people kill themselves at 26.

Starting point is 00:03:52 It's crazy. 26. Well, he didn't kill himself. 27 Club. Right, 27 Club. 27 Club, yeah. So, I'm punk rock, so I get it. So, I don't realize I'm punk rock taking over.

Starting point is 00:03:59 So, I get there. So, I put the thing. It's Kristen. I order the black nails. Okay, I order it. They come. I thought it'd be fun to do, like, Silly for Calvin. Kristen did it for me and did the thing. It's Kristen. I order the black nails. Okay. I order it. They come. I thought it'd be fun to do like Silly for Calvin. Kristen did it for me and did the thing.

Starting point is 00:04:09 Right. You know, and now I'm in Portland and Seattle and I kind of fit in, dude. And I was killing it, dude. And it was gloomy. And guess what? So was I. It was gloomy out. And so was I.

Starting point is 00:04:21 And I'll tell you this. I bet Chris's promo was like, keep Portland weird. Yeah. I can't keep Portland. And I'll tell you this. I bet Chris's promo was like, keep Portland weird. Yeah, yeah. And I'll tell you this, I went to, oh, dude, this is, you don't even know your boy anymore, dude. You don't even know your boy anymore. I flew in, touched down in Burbank, right?

Starting point is 00:04:37 Go to my house. Guess what, dude? I go to, you're not even going to believe this, I go to an album release party. Me. what album? Hardy Avril Lavigne? no Hardy

Starting point is 00:04:50 he's a country guy but he's hardcore and he's great Hardy a country guy? oh yeah and he's good dude and I'm all country

Starting point is 00:04:57 well there's only one fat guy there's only space for one fat guy in country his name's Jelly Roll yeah but Hardy's not fat well his name's Hardy can't be a skinny guy H-A-R-D-Y. He's thick.

Starting point is 00:05:06 He's thick, but he's... I'll tell you what, right now, he's a sexy dude. He's a sexy dude. Okay, I'm looking. I'm liking. He was on stage killing, dude. Really? Yeah, dude. He's really good. Why did you go? So he invited me. But that's not very... It's not very Crystalina. It's not very... No, it's not very God.

Starting point is 00:05:22 But I'll tell you this. Name one of his songs oh dude the hardy fest dude i will tell you man uh okay uh tiptoeing on the i don't know dude okay i don't know but i went and i don't know but i went dude and when i went i go like this okay dude and i went with david sullivan because crystal was too pregnant she's like i can't go she's out there here and And then so David Sullivan came. He's from Texas. And he goes, this country, man?

Starting point is 00:05:48 And I was like, fuck yeah, it is. This is my kind of country. Dude was fucking killing it. I looked behind me. Young Gravy was there. MGK was there. And we were just having a fucking good time. Hey, let me ask you something.

Starting point is 00:06:00 Stars having a good time, dude. Stars are normal people. We're normal people. And we are rocking out, and Young Gravy's here, and MGK's here, and David Sullivan looks at me, and I go like this, dude. Hey, man, I'm back. And, dude, I'll tell you what. I fucking pulled up, you know, because he was killing, Hardy was killing,

Starting point is 00:06:19 and I got rock stars behind me and a rapper. And, dude, I look at him. I pull up shots of me fucking doing, you know, stand up to the crowds. And the crowd's going like this. And I look to David. I go like this. I'm like that, bro.

Starting point is 00:06:31 We're the same. Yeah. Hey, here's what I think happened. You went there. Then MGK was like, give me your fingers. Because he paints his name. I know. When I saw him, I was like, oh, cool.

Starting point is 00:06:42 Good thing I got the fingers on. You're like, hey, bro. Because I didn't know he was going to be there. Yeah. I'm a fan. Let me tell you something about MGK, dude. I'm a fan. He is a handsome dude.

Starting point is 00:06:50 Too tall. Too tall. He's tall. He's good, though. No, tall and skinny. I'm not even in this conversation. When I saw it, I get it. Because I've met him a few times before.

Starting point is 00:07:02 And when I saw him this time, I was like. You get it? I get it. I've been there. I get it. I get it. I've been there. I get it. I get it. This guy is a handsome dude. Don't call Megan Fox by looking like shit.

Starting point is 00:07:09 Yeah, they're a power couple. Look at his nails. Look at Chris. That's Chris's nails now. That's me in 2034. No, that's you in three weeks, dude. She's still looking good. They're both cool as fuck, bro.

Starting point is 00:07:22 They're both cool as fuck. They're both cool as fuck. Are they still together both cool as fuck. They're both cool as fuck. Are they still together? Yeah. You know, he was going bald. He had Callan's thing. Bro, some guys figure that shit out. Yeah, figure out and buy a ticket to Turkey.

Starting point is 00:07:35 Yeah. They just go to Turkey. So does Callan... Wait, why do they go to Turkey? Because that's like the number one place for hair plugs. My boy Cowboy Cerrone went there. They paid him. Why is it the number one place for hair plugs?

Starting point is 00:07:44 I don't know. It's like Miami for asses. They just know it's a lotboy Cerrone went there. They paid him. Why is it the number one place for hair plugs? I don't know. It's like Miami for asses. A lot of bald guys over there. Oh. Or maybe I just thought there's no rules, so they just take the hair off of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Off of infants. Horses.

Starting point is 00:07:53 Yeah, yeah. Goats. Yeah, just a goat. No, it's real people. It's goats. Like a 17-year-old homeless, they just take the hair off. No, but I think there's something there. It's like Columbia with those, when girls get their ass and titties done the the regulation is a little different in turn yeah for sure

Starting point is 00:08:07 but it is lit i don't know i just came back i hear about this a lot don't you find that strange that people think they go to like a foreign country to get dental work yeah get like things like that i just go what is it what do they do like what are they not allowed to do here that they can do well i think a lot of it is. Is it just price? Yeah, a lot of it is price, yeah. Price. Yeah. So you're telling me that it's still more expensive to take it over to save.

Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, it's less money, yeah. Here's something I don't know. Okay, now look. My hair is part of my brand, right? I got my hair going. So fucked you lose your hair. What? No, if my hair goes

Starting point is 00:08:45 I don't care I know I don't I don't care I don't care you hung out with all these celebs and you've changed your hair

Starting point is 00:08:54 your hairline already looks like a hat that's tilted you know what I mean I don't care bro you know what I'm saying I don't he's like I know I know people are like

Starting point is 00:09:01 it's like a beret you know what I mean it's not tilted bro like a French like a French yeah it's like it's going. You know what I mean? It's not tilted, bro. Like a French. Like a French. Yeah, it's going like this already. But of course, if I just do that. Be on again.

Starting point is 00:09:14 Be on again. Dude, I don't care, bro. I don't care. And I want to care. I want to be that kind of thing. I'm happy. I don't really care. But if that shit's gone, it's gone, dude. If I'm Christopher Lloyd bro I don't care and I know and I want to care I want to be that kind of thing I'm happy I don't really care but if that shit's gone

Starting point is 00:09:26 it's gone dude if I'm Christopher Lloyd when I get older if I'm you know Nicolas Cage put those plugs in I'm not putting that shit in I'm not doing plugs

Starting point is 00:09:32 you want to go to Turkey to keep the locks I don't care bro be bald I don't care I'll be funnier I'll be funnier I don't give a fuck

Starting point is 00:09:41 I don't care sexiness comes from within well if you lost your hair I your nose would grow exponentially. I'd be a train wreck, but I don't care. I don't care. I already got it. I got the wife.

Starting point is 00:09:53 There's some funny guys who are super bald in comedy. Yeah. He's crushing it. Well, Bill Burr. He's bald, right? Yeah, he's bald. He's got a better face to be bald than I do, of course. He has a face that looked like he was always

Starting point is 00:10:05 supposed to be bald. Yeah, when you see him with hair, you're like, who the fuck is that guy? You got Bill, you got Rogan, you got Kelly. Yep, Robert Kelly.

Starting point is 00:10:14 Robert Kelly's a beast. Yep, yep. That's about it. Jim Norton's bald, right? Nah, there's a lot of bald guys. Tom Papa. My point is,

Starting point is 00:10:21 tons of them. Yeah, you don't have, yeah. What the fuck is going on here? There we go. You don't have to What the fuck is going on here There we go You don't have to Jeff Ross Yeah dude they kill

Starting point is 00:10:27 Brian Callen Brian Callen Is Brian Callen Brian Might as well be If the sun hits it right Oh bro Where do you go get this thing Studio

Starting point is 00:10:35 Boom Yeah his head looks like A dandelion You know what I mean No he looks like a baby ostrich If you picked Brian Callen up And went like this

Starting point is 00:10:44 His hair was Yeah Make a witch Wow No, he looks like a baby ostrich. If you picked Brian Callen up and went like this. His hair was like this. Make a witch. So where do you go to get this? So Brian got a thing. He got surgery, right? He did in like the 90s. Him and Rogan both did in the 90s. That's why they both have the, what's his name from Pulp Fiction?

Starting point is 00:11:00 Well, that's why they lost all their hair. Bing Rames. You know what the thing about these procedures? It's like I think that right now we're finding out the effects of Botox. I think that it's been around. Find out it's dope. Am I right? No, it's not.

Starting point is 00:11:12 Oh, no. It's so stupid. You put it in your armpits, you don't sweat. Yeah, but then where does the sweat go? I don't know. I think it comes out of your anus. But honestly, I – But I think that they're going to start like –

Starting point is 00:11:21 It's like after 10 years, we're going to see people who are going to be like – Yeah. What happened? I was drinking Botox all the time. I don't think. I mean, with women. Listen to Chin over there. You know what?

Starting point is 00:11:32 He's Asian, so I believe him. He also looks good, and he's 72. Dude, my. Damn, I killed you. You know who has a ton of Botox is Madonna. It's a bit of a train wreck She looks like the bad guy from Mask When he puts on the green mask I don't know who she is now

Starting point is 00:11:51 I saw a video of her And I didn't know it was Madonna Bro her ass is a straight up Dump Oh bro And I don't mean like cool dumper Like dump She looks like

Starting point is 00:12:04 But I mean for 60 Almost 70 years old She don't mean like cool dumper. Like dump. Dude, she looks like, but I mean, for 60, almost 70 years old, she looks like. Look at that dumper, dude. That's fake. Critter got a shitter. Yeah, you think? You don't grow an ass when you're 80. Dude, nothing is better than when you just don't get, maybe a little work or like upkeep, but like. Just a little though.

Starting point is 00:12:24 That is just a tad. No, a little,keep. Just a little, though. That is just a tad. A little, dude. Just a tad. Well, I wonder in her mind, does she think she still looks like 25-year-old Madonna? It's body dysmorphia. Her boyfriend is like 26, though, so someone's looking and they're alike in that dumpy dump. Yeah, but he wouldn't be with her if she wasn't Madonna, right?

Starting point is 00:12:40 Facts. Maybe. I mean, I don't know. Facts. I guess I can't assume. Facts. Fellas, take a little short break here because guess what? I need one, dude.

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Starting point is 00:13:28 So put your money where your mouth is. Download the DraftKings Sports app and use code GOLDEN. New customers can bet $5 on the conference championship and get 200 in free bets instantly. Only at DraftKings Sportsbook with the code GOLDEN. I'll say this next part because you always mess up the word eligibility. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply. See show notes for details. Let's talk about this Aretha Franklin song,

Starting point is 00:13:52 A Natural Woman Blasted by fake... What? By fake transgender activists. Yeah. A natural woman? So they're trying to get Aretha Franklin song, A Natural Woman... She passed away, right?

Starting point is 00:14:04 Yeah, she died. Spotify. If they're dead, it's all good. Leave it alone. Remember when they tried to cancel John Wayne? Yeah. He'd been dead for 40 years. Remember when they tried canceling Sean Connery?

Starting point is 00:14:15 Well, he was alive when they tried to do that. No. Also, he was like, you should smack a woman if she gets out of line. No, that's not a good one. What? He did say that. No, he did say that. But that's not a good one. What? I thought he did say that. No, he did say that. But that wasn't a good accent.

Starting point is 00:14:27 Oh, I didn't mind it. I didn't mind it. People think I do impressions. I don't do it, bro. No, no, no, no, no. You think you do impressions. No, no, bro. I don't like when people say I do impressions.

Starting point is 00:14:36 I do. I'm silly and I fucking, you know what I mean? But I don't have actual good impressions. I don't. All your impressions sound the same. Jamaican, English, they all have the same accent. Hello? That's everyone. Hello? Yeah, I don't. All your impressions sound the same. Jamaican, English, they all have the same accent. That's everyone. Hello.

Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah, I don't know. I feel like this is like one of the, I think this is just a lack of education on both sides, a lack of grace and understanding. What do you mean both sides? Fucking Eric's being Eric, dude. Yeah, he is. That's why I'm here. Eric's chilling in the middle.

Starting point is 00:14:59 I'm just saying, dude, it's not about being in the middle. No, because it's like. Come to our side. This is, I just think that this is. What do you mean both sides, though? This is ridiculous. It being in the middle. No, because it's like – Come to our side. This is – I just think that this is – What do you mean both sides, though? This is ridiculous. It's only the left. No, go ahead.

Starting point is 00:15:08 What? I'm just saying it's like – YouTube like this. Like I just saw this thing about this – there was a girl. She was in a locker room, and then there was a naked man. Turns out it was somebody – Transgender. And the girl was like –

Starting point is 00:15:22 It was a woman then. He thought he was a woman. Right, right, right. Well, he said he's a woman, but it has a has a big and so the the girl was like freaked out it's like hey let's stop assuming everybody understands yeah yeah i think there's just a lack of education i think like the ymca should have been like tell all their members hey this person because not everybody just because you're what you know what you are doesn't mean we're all used to it like You can't just change red lights to green lights and expect everybody to understand. Of course.

Starting point is 00:15:48 And be no car crashers. Exactly. There's going to be some crashes while we're going through this process. By crash, you mean dicks in your face. Yeah. You have to. The only way it works, and it still doesn't work, is you have to have four bathrooms. You have to have the men bathroom, the women bathroom, and then the trans men bathroom and the trans women bathroom.

Starting point is 00:16:07 That's the only way. Now, can you put trans men and women together? But there would be no. Three bathrooms? There would be nobody ever in those bathrooms, though. The trans women and trans men. Every once in a while, there would be someone in the bathroom. I'd be in them.

Starting point is 00:16:19 I'd take a shit in them. I don't know how they do it. That's what I do at the airport. Now they're just doing this. They're just calling it all gender bathrooms. Yeah, okay. And they're just single bathrooms. Right. No, no. How they do is they- That's how I do it at the airport. Now they're just doing this. They're just calling it all gender bathrooms. Yeah, okay. And they're just single bathrooms. Right, right, right.

Starting point is 00:16:27 And all gender bathrooms, all good. You're a nice restaurant and you got to blow that bitch up and there's some dying piece waiting outside, y'all. Shit. Yeah. And it turns out it's a dude. Blame the government. But you don't know.

Starting point is 00:16:37 But that's not going to make people happy. That's still going to lead to violence and fights. That's what I'm saying because it's lack of education. Right, right, right, right. But the problem too is, and again, these are extremes that one dude said he felt like a woman, wanted to be in the girls' bathrooms, then he's raping

Starting point is 00:16:51 the girls. That's the thing that you can't just jump to that. That's the thing they try to use. I don't feel safe. What I'm saying is this. This person who's 17 has never grown up or know nothing about this. And all she sees is a dick.

Starting point is 00:17:09 Right. And she's been told her whole life, stay away from dicks unless you're in love or whatever her thing is. And all of a sudden, here's a dick. And people are just supposed to be like, oh, I understand. No, let's have some grace on the other side too. Because you know what you never hear about? You never hear about this. And I'm sure it happens, what you never hear about? You never hear about this, and I'm sure it happens,

Starting point is 00:17:25 but you never hear about it. You never hear about the person with the naked vagina in the men's locker room. With big titties. You never hear about that. How come we don't hear about that? And you never hear a guy, like, you know, and he's going to be like, look, I was in the locker room.

Starting point is 00:17:37 These big tits appeared right behind me. This vagina was in the locker room. And what was I supposed to do? You know, it's like they're not doing that probably because maybe they don't feel safe around all these dicks because it's on only you know and so then why can't the other person feel the same way right right right it's just it's just lack of like we need to have more education about this and it's such a small community why is this such a small community making such a big stink because dude i found out that there's like first of all like nine percent

Starting point is 00:18:02 of the country is on twitter and 0.04% of those people are the people that tweet like 95% of the time. It's crazy. Correct. Sometimes I feel like I want to get off of it. It's like 45 people. Yeah. And now Eminem is like, fine, we're not having mascots. We got Maya Rudolph instead.

Starting point is 00:18:21 Do you hear about that? Oh, yeah. Because 45 people on Twitter are like, what the fuck? You changed the green one's boots? Yeah. No, they made the green one. You put eyelashes on the brown one? They made the green one less sexy.

Starting point is 00:18:31 I know. I know. Like as if I was out here like, ooh, I'm going to smash that M&M. You know what I mean? It is. I want to bend that M&M over. That's what I'm talking about. I was talking about this on my podcast.

Starting point is 00:18:43 Congratulations. Go on over. Check it out after this one. In Riffin McGriffin. No. All right. Look. Do it on your own time, dude.

Starting point is 00:18:50 So, but yeah. Woo, woo, woo. Dude, they were going. Apparently, Tucker Carlson was like, the video of Tucker Carlson talking about how annoying it was that the green one now changed their shoes and stuff. And he was like, now they have to be less sexy. And it was like after a certain point of him talking about it, you were like, do you jerk off to the M&M's?

Starting point is 00:19:10 Yeah. Why are you so upset? His takes are so preposterous. And every night you're just like, Jesus Christ. He wears a polka dot bow tie. When he laughs and it's that fake laugh, it makes, dude, he's out of his mind. I used to think these people were like Tucker Carlson and Glenn Beck and all these kind of people.

Starting point is 00:19:28 I used to be like, what's up with these guys? What's wrong with them? And then you go to Forbes and you Google their thing and they go, oh, they're just podcasters. Tucker Carlson is just you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's Tucker Carlson's us but in a shock factor way. He's just like that hype beast. Whatever's trending, whatever's new, he's going to be a hot take.

Starting point is 00:19:47 But that's what I'm saying. You're getting on me for being like, ah, don't be so whatever. No, I know. And he's the same way. He goes up there and he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Fox pays him $150 million. And he's like, for $150 million, guess what? I'm out there being like, ha, these blacks. I'm saying. $150 million, guess what? I'm out there being like, these blacks, huh?

Starting point is 00:20:06 $150 million, I'm tucking my dick between my legs going to the locker room. I'm saying anything you want. That's what I'm saying. I think we have to, we're looking at this guy. He'll have to deal with that. He gets death threats all the time. Some dude, he was at a fish store with his daughter

Starting point is 00:20:21 and someone came up to him and tried rolling up on him. Really? But I tell my brother, I'm like, I don't get how this guy, like all the hate, what's he do? And Jay's like, you ever, because I was talking about hate, and Jay's like, you ever gone to Tucker Carlson or any of these, like those guys, their Twitter, read the comments? It's 10,000, just the worst shit you've ever heard.

Starting point is 00:20:38 And Jay goes, now look at New York Times bestselling books. Yeah, yeah. Or look at, look how many, you know, look at his house. It's like, clearly, social media is not his thing. Right, right, right, right. Like, the public. Well, you know the thing we were saying about social media that I find strange, now with Twitter, for instance, because this is what I think they should do.

Starting point is 00:20:57 I think that, like, you know, you see someone that has, like, even Elon Musk, he has over 100 million followers, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, right? His tweets get maybe a million likes. Maybe. So to me, I feel like this is what they should do. If a person has not engaged with your account for a month,

Starting point is 00:21:16 maybe, let's say three months, they're removed as your follower. Then you can see your actual engagement. I'd rather have... Well, that increases the hate. No, no, I'm just engagement. I'd rather have... Or that increases the hate. I'd rather have 1,000 followers and get 900

Starting point is 00:21:31 of them, 900 likes, than have 300,000 followers with 1,000 likes. That's basically the plot of the movie 300. Spartans. There's 300 of them. Right? 300 good ones instead of a 10,000 shitty ones. Oh, I there's 300 of them. Right? I don't think I had 300 good ones

Starting point is 00:21:46 instead of a 10,000 shitty ones. Oh, I see what you're saying. So we're basically in 300. We want to be Spartans. I'm Gerard Butler. Who are you guys? We're going to kill you

Starting point is 00:21:54 before we get to the battlefield because you're the guy with the one eye that's talking and telling the story. I'm fine with that. I'm the guy No, no.

Starting point is 00:22:01 I'm the hunchback You would be that guy but you'd be doing it like this and then the king. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know who I am? I I'm a guy. No, no. I'm a hunchback. You would be that guy. Trying to lift his shield. But you'd be doing it like this. And then the king. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know who I am? I'm Xerxes. That fucking bald Persian dude.

Starting point is 00:22:11 Oh, with the nose person? If I was talking like this, I would be that guy. That's the guy I want to be, dude. The king? That's what I want to be. Make it the arrow. Yep. I want that guy.

Starting point is 00:22:19 Who's Eric? I'm not scared of you guys. I'd be the hunchback guy. No, I'm the hunchback guy. Where he's like, lift your shield. He's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's me. That's you. And I'm X scared of you guys. I'd be the hunchback guy. No, I'm the hunchback guy. Where he's like, lift your shield. He's all... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you.

Starting point is 00:22:28 And I'm Xerxes. I'm the father that went crazy when his kid died. I don't remember that. You could be like the Oracle girls with their eyes. Hey, how about this? We know... How about this? Because they're smart.

Starting point is 00:22:39 How about this? We know too much about that movie. It's a great movie. We know too much about that movie. No, 300 and Gladiator are just that movie. Gladiator... It's just that movie. I'm sorry. It about that movie. It's a great movie. We know too much about that movie. No, 300 and Gladiator are just that movie. Gladiator. It's just that movie. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:22:48 It's that movie. Gladiator is one of those movies. I have a category of movie. Here we are. I have a category of movie that you see that are great movies that you only see one time, and that's it. You never revisit that. Gladiator is not that movie.

Starting point is 00:22:59 Gladiator is not that movie. Oh, you are fucking crazy. I will never see it again. Oh, my God. You are insane. You are crazy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're the kind of person.

Starting point is 00:23:10 I bet you watch The Crow over and over. Okay, what movie do you watch over and over again? Swingers. Shawshank Redemption. Shawshank Redemption is one of those movies you watch once. No. Braveheart, one of those movies you watch once. You piece of shit.

Starting point is 00:23:26 I will tell you this, dude. No. The movies that are so, so much of an epic story, you watch it once. No. And then you put it away. I can't with the fingers. No, I didn't mean that.

Starting point is 00:23:37 I do. Are you grunged? You're talking like this now for some reason. No, yeah. Are you grunged? Are you gay? Is he gay?

Starting point is 00:23:43 You know, when I'm with my kid and I'm watching a movie, like, oh, fuck yourself. You watch it once. No, dude. Okay, well, here's movies. There are movies like,

Starting point is 00:23:51 here's movies I can watch over and over again. Like Groundhog Day. Sure. If that comes on, I'll be like, I'll watch it. Sure. School of Rock. Never seen it. Want to see it so bad.

Starting point is 00:24:00 Great movie. Let's skip all the, you never seen it? Just keep going. Yeah, I know. You never seen School of Rock? Just say you've seen it. I love it just keep going you never seen i love it no no i hate that too i i don't we should do on our patreon just a movie night with this guy i love jack black that's him right dude yeah school of rock i don't care where it is in got it i'm there i'm like oh i feel like there's a lot of annoying. I don't know this, but I feel like there's probably a lot of annoying actors in the ancillary parts. Like I got to see fucking all.

Starting point is 00:24:32 No, it's just kids. It's kids and Jack Black, really. He's great. It really is a perfect movie. And Sarah Silverman's the bitch girlfriend. She's great in it. She's great. Mike White.

Starting point is 00:24:40 It's Mike White. It's a Mike White movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know Mike? Yeah. Mike? Mike. You're Mike White. Oh, dude. I can't a Mike White movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know Mike? Yeah. Mike? Mike.

Starting point is 00:24:45 You're Mike White. Oh, dude. I can't believe you. Yeah, but I'm with him. Shawshank, Gladiator. I can watch those. Those are great. You know what's another one?

Starting point is 00:24:56 One time. Like I just went on an event. I was in Nebraska. Yeah. I was in Nebraska and I was like, you know. Beautiful Mind. Once. Yeah, I agree.

Starting point is 00:25:04 One time. It's a great movie. No, no, no. That's not the same. Some of them are too heavy. That's not the same. It's a heavy movie. Okay. Schindler's List. One time. Gotta see that. Ooh. I'd say once every three years. Yeah. Really? I watch it every Christmas.

Starting point is 00:25:15 Oh my God. It did come out on Christmas. This is when you go like that. Yeah. Schindler's List every Christmas. Schindler's List. You know, I remember when I first saw Schindler's List. Every morning and then we opened presents. When I first saw Schindler's List every Christmas. Schindler's List. You know, I remember when I first saw Schindler's List. Every morning and then we opened presents. When I first saw Schindler's List, I was in this theater and it was so like, wow, I can't believe they're making this movie.

Starting point is 00:25:30 Yeah. Then there was these two, there was an old couple. They were in. And they were talking. Yeah. A little loud. Because they'd been there. And it was like this moment.

Starting point is 00:25:39 I was so mad. I looked. I said, hey, shut up. Oh, no. And they showed you their arm. They had the numbers on it. Yeah, they had a bunch of. And they turned around and they were like. You're like, oh, I'm sorry hey, shut up. Oh, no. And they showed you their arm. They had the numbers on it. And you turned around and they were like.

Starting point is 00:25:47 You're like, oh, I'm sorry. This was for you. Oh, I'm sorry. No, but I just felt like it was just one of those movies that I was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even someone as powerful as Steven Spielberg, it took him 20 years to make that movie. Bro, I went to the opening of Passion of the Christ. Oh, I didn't mean to do that.

Starting point is 00:26:01 I went to the opening of Passion of the Christ with my grandma. Never saw it. Who's super religious. And I'm not religious. So I don't know the whole story. I went to the opening of Passion of the Christ with my grandma, who's super religious. And I'm not religious, so I don't know the whole story. I'm an idiot when it comes to religion. I was watching, and they're whooping his ass, and it's so graphic. I look at her, and my grandma's sobbing. Yep, because she thinks it's real.

Starting point is 00:26:16 She just documented her. Yeah, she thought it was legit. Yep, dude. I'm not religious either, but I pray for my enemies. I started doing that. I pray for my enemies, dude. Do you? Yep, I pray for my enemies, dude.

Starting point is 00:26:24 I get on my knees. Do you pray for your friends pray for my enemies, dude. Do you? Yep. I pray for my enemies, dude. I get on my knees. Do you pray for your friends too? No, they're fine. They're fine. They're good with them. You should have said, you're fine. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:34 This is how I pray for my friends. He's like, I'm going to pray for, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I had a guy at my... I have to have a sandwich next to me to pray for my enemies. In the middle of praying, Grubhub comes.

Starting point is 00:26:58 And you can't have your cell phone near you. What the fuck is this? It's the wrong order. Okay, I got to add to my praying. Go. And the Grubhub comes. Yeah, I never saw that movie. I never wanted to see it. Okay, I got to add to my praying. Go. The Grubhub. Yeah, I never saw that movie. I never wanted to see it.

Starting point is 00:27:08 Which one? Oh, yeah. Passion of the Christ. Yeah, I never wanted to see it. We went to it as a class. A class? It's graphic, man. Wow, where did you grow up?

Starting point is 00:27:16 What state? In Wisconsin. I went to a Catholic school. I went to a Catholic school, but it was like different. It took a different route. Not a good one, apparently. You guys were not, you didn't have field day to go see somebody get whipped. And our gym teacher was just kind of a, he was just a classic gym teacher.

Starting point is 00:27:31 He wore gym shorts in the middle of winter. He was the only one. He bought a giant popcorn and a giant soda, and we just like were supposed to hit him. Oh, that's hilarious. He was all, he was drinking soda, eating popcorn, watching Christ get whipped. He's all, shut up! Hold on. Yeah. Just eat it. Waitinking soda, eating popcorn, watching Christ get whipped. Shut up! Hold on. Scoop out!

Starting point is 00:27:49 There's a big soda gulp. Holding a football for the record. You went to Passion of Christ. My school took me to Fern Gully. What on fucking earth? They're making a sequel? What is this? Mel Gibson is directing it too.

Starting point is 00:28:05 Dude, I watched. Brian Cowan's Jesus. That's cool. Last night. I watched last night. Brian Cowan is craft service. I watched last night. Brian Cowan's the boom.

Starting point is 00:28:16 Yeah. I watched last night a movie called On the Line with Mel Gibson. Uh-huh. a movie called On the Line with Mel Gibson. And it is an extra level of bad that I can't even believe it. Why do you put yourself through that bullshit? You thought it was going to be good? I'm on board.

Starting point is 00:28:36 You got to watch those. Because I love watching those and then recapping them from beginning to end on my podcast. Well, you got to watch that one. Griffin with Griffin. You got to watch that one. Because I've seen some really...

Starting point is 00:28:44 Why do you waste your life like that? It's bad. I'm numbing out, bro. No, I'm numbing out at home just chilling like this. Oh, I love watching those on a plane. Yeah. Dude, I'm watching it and it all takes place in the radio studio. First of all, this movie should have been made in

Starting point is 00:28:59 1997. It's about a fucking jockey at night that's like this popular, famous dude. They don't even exist anymore. He's like Howard Stern, but with a gun before he went all woke. But dude, and he gets like, people are like, someone calls in and is like, I have your family. And he's like, what?

Starting point is 00:29:15 And he stays in this thing. Wait, wait. It's like that movie, The Phone Booth. Yeah. It's Phone Booth. Wait, wait. Hold on a second. It's Phone Booth mixed with Earheads with Adam Sandler.

Starting point is 00:29:23 Is that the dude from NSYNC with the girl there on the line? Wow, hold up. Oh, you're talking about Lance Bass? Hold up, dude. Oh, and there I am in the back. You are like Joey Fatone if you got any shade. Look at how they advertise the movie. A killer soundtrack with new songs from NSYNC and Britney Spears.

Starting point is 00:29:39 That's like saying the clothes in the movie were awesome. Dude, they don't even they know the movie shit he risked it all for the love at first sight that's amazing though he's gay i didn't know i didn't know he did this movie this guy's hilarious he he would come to comedy shows all the time like when he somebody when he came out he would just be at the laugh factory just being like talk about me because it was like he he always talks about i went on his podcast he's great i'm like can i use the f word no no but he was like he was like, he always talks about, I went on his podcast. He's great. I'm like, can I use the F word? No, no.

Starting point is 00:30:06 But he was like, at a certain point, he was like, are we breaking up? Because I need to be gay already. You know what I mean? Like, they all knew. But they were like, come on, dude. We're like, we're in sync. Wow. So he was like, OK.

Starting point is 00:30:21 Bye, bye, bye. You know what I mean? Somebody told me. He's a cool dude. somebody got me a cameo from him it was funny he went all of a sudden lance bass is on my phone he's like hey chris what's up like big fan i'm like what i'm joking obviously but yeah it's really funny who's this young lady let's see what's up she was the one she was wanting to bring her baby to hawaii and you guys gave her some advice oh yeah yeah she sent an update from hawaii looks like she's there i don't think i saw this one guys it's sydney again i sent in a video a little while ago about babies on planes it's a redhead too

Starting point is 00:30:55 well we made it to maui and it was pretty bad yeah basically half the was empty, so we just sort of spread out and screamed and felt bad. Walked her up and down the aisle. Got through it. And you were right. I have my husband here and his parents who have been super helpful. There you go. And have made it, like, a lot better.

Starting point is 00:31:18 Yeah, there you go. But, yeah, just wanted to say thanks for the advice, you guys. Cute. Love it. Love it. Love the show. Keep up the great work. No, I don't think I was here for this one. Really? You were. I thought you were. She's like, probably won't be coming back to say. Thanks for the advice, you guys. Love it. Love it. Love the show. Keep up the great work. No, I don't think I was here for this one. Really? You were. I thought you

Starting point is 00:31:28 were. She's like, probably won't be coming back to Hawaii. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you this. You put that baby in the fucking luggage thing and then you close it. Okay, it's a redhead? No. I'm sorry. I'm trying to keep up. Dude, I'll tell you. I'll tell you this much. I lucked out with Calvin being a traveler the way he is. He just sits there. I mean, you know how I lucked out with Calvin

Starting point is 00:31:45 Being a traveler the way he is He just sits there He wants to fly in a plane I can see Calvin just being like I wonder how this works And we got another one on the way I don't think I've talked about it on Golden Hour Before I've said it on my podcast

Starting point is 00:31:59 Boy or girl Another boy coming March I know me too shit and Kristen Post that she's pregnant. Boy or girl? Boy. Got another boy coming. When's it coming? March? April. Why? I know me too. You know that. March? You're March what? 12th. What are you? It depends. The 29th.

Starting point is 00:32:17 I'm the 18th. I know. I knew about all yours. You know, Cal's birthday is today. Cal's birthday is on Thursday. Yeah, it is. Oh, really? He turns 77. Really?

Starting point is 00:32:28 So him and Chin should go. Yeah, dude. That'd be awesome. Chin's 77. Dude, so listen. Oh, Chin's 77. I was born 77. That just reminded me.

Starting point is 00:32:38 Chin got a tattoo. And he goes, dude, check out the new tat. First of all, he just sends me. I can't see what's going on. And he's getting his leg done. I'm like, I don't want to get my leg done so bad. I won't put a flower horn fish on my thigh. And so Chin's like, dude, check out.

Starting point is 00:32:50 They're finally done. He sends me this tattoo. And it looks like his leg. But it's like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King. Oh, that's fucking hilarious. Like all these black guys. And I went, oh, I thought I went, oh, you like BLM thing? And he goes, nah, I'm fucking with you, man.

Starting point is 00:33:04 What'd you get? No, so the guy that I took the picture of, I was like, is it cool if I take a picture of your leg tattoo? It looked identical to yours. It was a white guy? No, it was a black dude. It was like the most black tattoo. And Jin goes, check it out. I was like, I just put, oh.

Starting point is 00:33:20 I didn't know you felt that way. Brennan's being nice. He was like, yeah. It was dope work, dude. But you can't even prank him. Cause he's going to be like, you know, like he,

Starting point is 00:33:29 by the way, he still thinks that's what you do. Yeah. I'm Tucker. So, so yeah, dude, what did you get? It's just like a landscape,

Starting point is 00:33:36 a Korean style landscape. And then they're like, uh, it's the suicide force. No, it's like a mask type thing. I'll show you later. That's just now.

Starting point is 00:33:43 It's Japanese. I can't pull it. I wore the wrong. That's okay. Yeah. I'll show you later That's Japanese Shoot it now It's Japanese I can't pull it I wore the wrong pants for it It's okay Yeah I'll show you next time Alright So

Starting point is 00:33:50 I'll send you the picture Wear no pants next time Yeah So He just comes in So Just his dick Out and shit

Starting point is 00:33:57 It was like a diaper You said Yeah yeah Yeah so So I got another one coming You excited about it? You gotta have two You don't want the one.

Starting point is 00:34:05 And they're going to be three years apart exactly. Nothing wrong. Same with my kids. Nothing wrong with being an only child. Right? Hey. Nothing wrong. Look, I was an only child too for three years.

Starting point is 00:34:28 Chrisley.com. You got to keep going though. Don't stop at two I want to Because we want a girl Me too Dude I Yeah And so I don't know

Starting point is 00:34:36 I like to bring my family on tour It's gonna be hectic with another one So we'll see But yeah Because I think I'm gonna I'm booking Australia At the end of the year And Canada It's gonna be a lot I'm going to UK the end of the year and Canada.

Starting point is 00:34:45 It's going to be a lot. I'm going to UK in June. Oh, are you? Yeah. For two weeks. To do shows? Yep. For where?

Starting point is 00:34:51 Not vacation, daddy. Where? I know you don't. I know you're a worker. So where are you going? I have psoriasis too. I want to do that. I do too, but they fucking lowball you, bro.

Starting point is 00:34:59 UK because the, yeah, there's Chin's tat. It's pretty sick. Oh, that's it? Is that from Big Trouble in Little China? Oh, that's awesome. That's fucking lit, Chin. That is, how long did that take? Look how old the top of his leg looks.

Starting point is 00:35:10 Three sessions. No, 3 p.m. to 2 something a.m. Look how wrinkly it is. You did it all in one sitting? No, because my thing is like pushing against it. Okay. Chin is just showing your age right there. I know.

Starting point is 00:35:21 Like if we cut that. It's like Chin. Yeah, I know. We're all tough back. It's like chin. I know. We're all tough here. How fucking bad does the leg hurt? It was the most pain ever. Really? The leg?

Starting point is 00:35:31 I didn't know that. Ever. Dude, I have my ribs. What? I have a chest. All my arms. I have a few. I was supposed to do a whole piece on this.

Starting point is 00:35:39 Oh, yeah, you said you stopped. I stopped. I went, I'm good. What? Only time I've ever done it in my life. Was it the shin? What was it? What part? Did you see the knee right there?

Starting point is 00:35:46 The mouth of that thing? He was going inside and doing this. I could not even. On the knee? Dude, I like that. I like that that mask has your exact same note. Thank you, dude. Identical, dude. That was the inspiration leg you keep touching me

Starting point is 00:36:08 you keep touching me dude you can't wear black nail polish not expect to get fucked you just it's too much do it all right that doesn't even make sense it doesn't that is i don't even know. What are you talking about? We got leftover merch that says keep touching me. We got to move. Oh, that's the cat's shit? Yeah. I have sensitive ass ankles, so I can't even imagine.

Starting point is 00:36:38 My ankles are sensitive as hell. You know that from when they're being held when you have sex? Yeah. When they're in and out of the house. If Rachel touches my ankles, she's trying to give me a massage. She'll touch my hand. I'll be like, ah! Wow, really?

Starting point is 00:36:54 Squeeze your ankle, right? Squeeze his ankle. He'll see what I'm talking about. I get it. They're tender. But when I get massages, dude, just check this out for a fucking hot take. The worst place to get massage for me, my back. I don't like my back being massaged. Any other part. You pussy.

Starting point is 00:37:10 Arms, legs go to town. I love it. Fucking Deshaun Watson over there. What'd he do? You don't know? Are you Brian Callen? Is he sports? Just let it go.

Starting point is 00:37:26 Leave it at that. Let the comments go wild. He got jacked. He has, like, the most gorgeous girlfriend you've ever seen. And he got busted because he was getting happy endings from, like, a hundred masseuses. But he would force them to do it. What? But here's what's crazy.

Starting point is 00:37:42 Then he signed the biggest guaranteed NFL contract of all time. Oh, this is the dude. Oh, I know him. With the Browns. Quarterback. I know who it is. White? No, black. Deshawn.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Yeah, he's white. Unless you don't like the name Deshawn. Hey. I know I got a name Sean. So hold on. Okay, wow. Jesus. When was this?

Starting point is 00:37:59 This was a few years ago, right? You're like your bat. Your bat? That doesn't make any sense. You go to the massage place for your bat. I know. I don't get it. I'm fine with it. I don't know. I think I'm sensitive're back? That doesn't make any sense. You go to the massage place for your back. I know. I don't get it. I'm fine with it.

Starting point is 00:38:06 I don't know. I think I'm sensitive on my back. It's weird, bro. Yeah, but here's the thing to defend Deshaun Watson a little bit there. Not, boy, he's forced him to jack him off.

Starting point is 00:38:13 If you go down Ventura and it says, like, massage, good luck finding one where they're not going to try and jack you off and play with your butthole. Yeah, so what do they mean? You know what?

Starting point is 00:38:21 I've actually been to a place. It's so rare. I'm like, oh, here we go. Where was I? Might as well. I'm here. It's so rare. I'm like, oh, here we go. Where was I? Might as well. I'm here. Was I in Canada? I was someplace, man.

Starting point is 00:38:29 Boston. I was in Boston. And I go to this place, and the lady was like, she kept saying, you want me to get naked? It's Stroke Central there. And I was like, no, I actually literally just want the massage. What do you want, a stroke? Was it Boston? I was Boston.

Starting point is 00:38:50 It was Boston. It was really strange. So she was like, and then what? No, it was Canada. She said, hey, man, where was it? I can't remember where it was. It was Vancouver. I was in Vancouver.

Starting point is 00:38:58 So far from Boston. Yeah, I know. Dubai. So hold on. It was fucking Australia. No, no, but we know where we are. There is these things. Would you like to be stroked?

Starting point is 00:39:08 Yeah, it was like a lot. No, you know how you know if they're going to try and jack you off? If you go there and it's cash up front, the $40 up front, and then they go, have you been here before? Oh. They say, yes, I've been. They know you know. They know you.

Starting point is 00:39:21 You go like this. That's the lingo. I go, I've been here before. You know, I look like a cop. I've been here before. You go like this. I've never been here before, go, I've been here before. Even though I look like a cop, I've been here before. You go like this. I've never been here before, but yes, I have, if you know what I mean. And I go, uh-uh.

Starting point is 00:39:31 Good. Let me go like this. First of all, this would be the worst. Yep. And then you know it's going to be a happy ending when the – Yeah. Ow. That's it.

Starting point is 00:39:47 You know it's going to be a happy ending when the massage is real shitty. They're just kind of like buying time. And then they just keep playing with your asshole. You're like, hey, man. My back hurts. That cat playing the piano on the gym. Yeah, dude. I've straight up never been to one of those places. You got to start living, dude. Yeah. I've never been to one of those places.

Starting point is 00:40:06 You got to start living, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I've never been to one of those places. I never even thought maybe it might happen. I just – I've only – the massages I've gotten, which I'm not a massage guy. No, I am. But, you know. Well, you're an athlete.

Starting point is 00:40:17 You don't like massage? I was. When they get my hands, my wrist. I'm my same person. I have to – because I do feel a lot better. Oh, it's nice. Well, Kristen loves them. I mean, you know. Like, you know. I mean, I person. I have to because I do feel a lot better. Oh, it's nice. Well, Kristen loves them. I mean, you know.

Starting point is 00:40:27 Like, you know. I mean, I know people that love them. You love them. I love them. Is there anything worse than giving a massage? Is there anything worse than giving a massage? No. My girl asked me, I'm like, okay, how long are we doing this?

Starting point is 00:40:38 My hands are exhausted. Are you kidding me? Not this guy. I do like this. You get all in. You know he gets all in. I do this and I go. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Starting point is 00:40:45 Yeah. I do this and I go. Yeah whoa, whoa Yeah I do this and I go Yeah, yeah, yeah I go, I can't After two minutes, I can't It's just too much work No, no He's got all this stuff I rub Rachel's feet all the time

Starting point is 00:40:54 I'll be like Whoa, whoa, whoa I get those toes And I'll be like He's all Disgusting Thank you for doing that I also can't do a massage

Starting point is 00:41:01 Without grabbing her ass Oh, man Yeah, she's like Hey, my back hurts I'm like, shut up No, I slow it. You know what? You go stick, right?

Starting point is 00:41:06 Yeah. Yeah, you got to look up yoni massage. Uh-huh, yeah. You ever seen the Russian ones where they beat you with like honey and shit? You know. Yeah. That's Russian. Well.

Starting point is 00:41:16 I don't know what websites you go to. Oh, no, it's South Ventura, man. Okay. But that's nothing more Russian. That's more Russian than Russia. Honestly. It's like a two block That's more Russian than Russia. Honestly. It's like a two-block radius. It counts as Russia.

Starting point is 00:41:28 It's like that Ethiopian area on Fairfax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the Tantrik Yanni Massage? They go Russian. If you look at the world map and you say, where's Russia? It has Russia and then a little dot also on Ventura Boulevard. There it is. All right.

Starting point is 00:41:41 Well. All right. Let. All right. Let's do it. What up, crew? Me again. I got a new topic. Cue, kid. Win or lose.

Starting point is 00:41:52 Greta Thunberg or Nancy Pelosi? Ooh. I don't know. I think Greta looks like she's on the fourth round of a USC headliner and autism. She on the owner car. She ain't winning that car. She might do some crazy things to win, but hey, Nancy Pelosi, she's packing some stuff from Lowe's,

Starting point is 00:42:10 some equipment. Y'all tell me, win or lose, who takes it? Greta Thunberg or Nancy Pelosi? Soar? Buzz? So cute. That was it. So cute. He's it. So cute.

Starting point is 00:42:25 So he's saying if they got in a fight, Greta Thornburg or Nancy Pelosi, Greta just has some weird anger. Did you see when she faked her getting arrested? She faked it? She faked it. Yeah, it was all fake. Greta? Yeah. She faked her getting pulled away by the cops.

Starting point is 00:42:39 What? What? They have a video of her smiling before, and then they carried her out. Why did they do that? I don't know. Also, how old is she? I think she's eight. What? They have a video of her like smiling before. And then they carried her out. Why did they do that? Who knows? Also, how old is she? I think she's eight. And she's doing the fucking fake.

Starting point is 00:42:49 She's 20. She is? Yeah, but she went in on. Andrew Tate? Yeah, Andrew Tate. She lit him up. Did she? I didn't see it.

Starting point is 00:42:57 Yeah. I know that the thing happened, but I didn't see it. But Greta beat the shit out of Nancy Pelosi. Well, because she was all about global warming. He was like, Greta, here's the list of my cars. And he does have insane cars. Yeah, he's rich, right? And he's like, there's more.

Starting point is 00:43:11 Let me know if you want to come over and see the cars. I don't know why you put it out or like that. And then she was like, oh, cool. Send your car list. What was it? The email? Like get a live. It was like littledickenergy.com, something like that.

Starting point is 00:43:23 Dumbass.com, something like that. Dumbass.com, something like that. I saw a funny comment that said jokes on Greta giving out a real email. That's where he went back and forth. But he was like, he's arrested in Greece. They were protesting. That shit is crazy, bro. What is going on with him is absolutely insane. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:43:42 What is going on? Bro, he got arrested. For like human trafficking? Yeah, human trafficking. No, that's what they said. But it wasn't human trafficking. It was something else. He got arrested for rape too though. No.

Starting point is 00:43:55 No, that's what they reported originally. But he didn't get arrested for that. It's like tax invasion and fraud and shit. You know he owns like 20 casinos. What? I know he's rich. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. He owns a know he owns like 20 casinos. What? I know he's rich. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. He owns a shit ton of buildings and casinos. So you think they're trying to

Starting point is 00:44:11 silence him with this whole thing? I don't know. I have no fucking idea. I don't know what's going on here. It's funny because he talks about being the Matrix and I'm not making fun of him. I don't know enough about the thing but someone goes, hold up, if you think there's some higher being like fuck with people going after people you think they're gonna pick andrew tate yeah true all the people yeah true now he is a powerful

Starting point is 00:44:32 dude with a lot of leverage you know i mean yeah i feel like they'd go after other yeah but like like whatever man they're going everyone's going after everyone no matter who they are like i just saw like bill they're going after bill gates because he's like he's dry he's flying around in his 70 million dollar hold on they're going after him hold on they're going after him because he visited epstein island 38 times 38 times that's facts and they they asked him they go hold on why are we at epstein island three times he goes i couldn't you. I couldn't tell you what? Why he was there? I don't know why I was there.

Starting point is 00:45:06 Like 38 times, dumbass? With all that shit going on? I don't know. Is that not weird to anybody? Yeah, I don't know much about this situation. I mean, I know that it was like a fucking weird island where he would have sex with people and stuff. Well, Jeffrey Epstein would have young girls there

Starting point is 00:45:21 and other girls there, and then he'd have powerful people do some shit and they didn't know they're being recorded then he'd be like yo just let you know we have this on film well that's why he's dead right right right they got in like it was probably a group text with like bill clinton and all these people we gotta kill him he was like uh yeah yeah we gotta get rid of him right you know and they were like everybody everybody just liked it heart you want to make it look like an accident you know it was like they was like I don't care if you blow the building yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah get it done well if you think about it if like say you're the you're the Attorney

Starting point is 00:46:02 General of the United States and you're and Epstein's lawyer comes to you and says, hey, we'll give you 500 of the most powerful men in the world. Okay? I have videos. I have a lot of stuff. Right. My guy gets off scot-free. Yeah. He gets immunity.

Starting point is 00:46:21 Right. Would you take that deal? If you're the district attorney, you're the Attorney General of the United States, and Epstein's lawyer says, hey, I'm going to turn on 500 of the most powerful men in the world. We're going to drop the, you're going to take that deal? Of course, it would be like, all right, we'll give you immunity. You give us everybody. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:37 Those everybody? They were like, he got to go. Yeah, yeah, I get that. Yeah, the people on that list? He got to go. I wonder what the fuck it really was. Like, how many of them? Who it was? What the fuck? Dude, they have the black book. I know, I get that. Yeah, the people on that list. He gotta go. I wonder what the fuck it really was. Like how many of them, who it was, what the fuck. Dude, they have the black book.

Starting point is 00:46:48 I know, I know. Bill Gates has been there three, eight times. Bill Clinton's been there a bunch. There's so many people on that list. Well, that's because you can't fly without having a record. They have the call log and they won't release it because they said there's current politicians in that list and they don't want to. Dude, first of all, they were going after this guy since the 90s. Really?

Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah, man. You've seen it. There's so many good documentaries about him of all they were going after this guy since the 90s really yeah man you've seen there's so many good documentaries about him but they're like they were going after him alex jones called it out i mean yeah but he called out something that everybody already knew no not really like i'll give it a lot of crazy shit they knew who they were the police the fbi everybody they were going after him. Back in the day. Yeah, and he kept getting off. Investigating him. Investigating him. Yeah, they were investigating him. And he kept getting off. They got him in Palm Beach years ago.

Starting point is 00:47:31 Yeah, but they- 20 years ago. That's what I'm saying. This is nothing new. Alex Jones is like, yeah, you also discovered America? No, Alex Jones was the first one to come out and publicly say, there's an island where all these powerful people go to. They already knew about this guy. Thebi did nobody in the public it's the same thing about it's the same thing with bill cosby man like all hannibal burris did was say like hey stop talking

Starting point is 00:47:54 about us dress in a certain way you guys just google bill cosby and that's what everybody did they were like okay and they did and they were like oh shit it was public knowledge you know what i'm saying i'm just saying epstein it was not like no one knew about this. No, no, just no one cared until they did it. You a spy? I'm just telling you, man. You a what? You a spy?

Starting point is 00:48:14 I'm just saying, stop giving Alex Jones credit for something that. He was the first one with that platform to call out. He had the balls to talk about it, I guess. He's like Christopher Columbus of Jeffrey Epstein. Regular media wouldn't talk about it. No, so he brought it to light. Yeah, I guess. He's like Christopher Columbus of Jeffrey Epstein. Regular media wouldn't talk about it. No, so he brought it to light. Yeah, I know, but I'm saying- Same with Annabelle.

Starting point is 00:48:29 Like, regular media wouldn't talk about it. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. They both got really famous and really rich. All I'm saying is like, whatever was going on, all these people, they got together. Even if it was just two of them. If they're that powerful, it killed them. Gotta go. If they're that powerful yeah they made it happen

Starting point is 00:48:46 yeah i mean there's i'm surprised the lady's still alive well she's well i'm surprised no but still yeah you know what's going on with her she may not know anything no she does because if you it's flying under the radar but if you see there's a lot of like sex trafficking things popping up getting taken down they think it think she's leaking all this info. That's part of her deal. Because she's in like an easy, like she's outdoor running around and shit. She's eating Twinkies. And then she did one interview and she was like, yeah, I think Epstein was clearly killed.

Starting point is 00:49:17 That was not a suicide. Oh, really? He's not a suicidal guy. That's what she said. Yeah, if he was going to kill himself, he would have done it a long time ago. Yeah. Ah, you never know. No, yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:24 They don't know. Like his house. I mean, Hitler, was going to kill himself, he would have done it a long time ago. Ah, you never know. No, yeah. They don't know. Like his house? They say Hitler killed himself, or maybe he didn't. Maybe he just faked his death. For sure they faked his death. He died by Tupac. Him and Tupac killed on Epsom Island. For sure, for sure, for sure, Hitler went to South America.

Starting point is 00:49:38 It's like a sitcom. Yeah. There she is right there, flourishing. Tan. Oh, wow. Running that bitch. That's the fucking prison right there. Tan. Oh, wow. Running that bitch. That's the fucking prison right there? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:47 Oh, wow. Yeah. Gym attire. Guys, I don't care how fancy or whatever it is. A prison is a prison. Yeah, no, agree. That's got to be awful. Yeah, but it's nice if you can run around the track every day.

Starting point is 00:49:55 No, that's just fucking bullshit. Okay, so 365 days in a year. So you run for the first, what, 10 days? No, every day. I have nothing else to do. I know, but at a certain point, you're like, this is the same track. Yeah, it's not a year. So you run for the first, what, 10 days? No, every day. I have nothing else to do. I know, but at a certain point, you're like, this is the same track. Yeah, it's not a shit room service. Maybe you put obstacles on the track, so you have to make it.

Starting point is 00:50:11 Right, right, right. Enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. You're a powerful lady, though. What up, Brennan, Chris, Eric? I have a debate club question.

Starting point is 00:50:22 Eric, I have a debate club question. So, when I go out of town or when me and my family go to town, when I get home, I immediately unpack. My wife, she'll live out of the suitcase for like a month. That's a good question. I was just thinking about this.

Starting point is 00:50:38 So, when y'all get back from tour, are you immediately unpacking or are you living out of your suitcase? This is a huge debate in my house. It's a good question. Guys, love the fucking pod. Thanks, bud. Don't come.

Starting point is 00:50:52 You'll see me where? Talk to you later. You'll see me where? Oh, you mean Springfield? Next Friday, Saturday? Cool. Springfield, Missouri? Oh, really?

Starting point is 00:50:58 That's cool. That's where I'm at. That's cool. I'll be there too. ChrisLitt.com. You know what's crazy is- When are you there? Later.

Starting point is 00:51:03 Oh, thank God. No, you're- there too chris.com you know what's crazy is when are you there uh later oh thank god yeah no you wait you're no um uh and then i will be in jacksonville and that's almost sold actually that's sold out uh daytona and lakeland anybody went in jacksonville though you know what i'm saying dude i'll tell you what man i don't know but i'm it's sold out so i'm happy and then um i'll be in sugarland texas i never promote that one, which is Houston, basically. Dude, let me tell you something, man. I'm going to be in Sugarland, Texas, and everyone from Houston is like, come to Houston.

Starting point is 00:51:30 You know how far Sugarland is from Houston? 10 miles? 19 fucking miles, dude. How bad do you want it? I'm flying. Drive. Sure. It's insane, bro.

Starting point is 00:51:42 Insane. Sure. It's insane, bro. Insane. So I'll be in Houston, Sugarland, and then New Orleans, and then San Antonio, which is kind of – Where are you playing? New Orleans, to me, it's such a dope city. I know. You go on all those haunted tours with your lid.

Starting point is 00:51:55 It is awesome. Bourbon Street. But there's no – I mean, yeah. But there's no, like, dope comedy venue. It's not a comedy place. I know. It's really odd.

Starting point is 00:52:01 And think, there's so many good comics. Mark Norman, Theo, Ellen. No, because it's so hard. Because, you know, at a place like that, that's a hard sell. I know it's really odd. There's so many good comics. Mark Norman, Theo, Ellen. Because at a place like that, that's a hard sell. I guess. There's so much going on. Vegas is good though.

Starting point is 00:52:14 New York's good. LA's good. Texas is good. I understand. What the fuck do they do in New Orleans? You're going to come to the Bell House in Brooklyn February 10th. One night in New York. Okay?

Starting point is 00:52:28 Come see me. Brooklyn. Bell House. February 10th. Don't see Eric. And like I said, I'm in Springfield, Missouri. It's right outside the Ozarks, I guess. That's next Friday, Saturday.

Starting point is 00:52:40 I think it's February 3rd and 4th. I love that show. 3rd and 4th. And then Naples. Naples is the second week of February. That's Florida, right? At the Red Lobster. Oh, when's the last time you did it?

Starting point is 00:52:51 The off the hook? Off the hook. Is that the one you're talking about? Captain D's? Captain O'Brien's? When's the last time you went there, though? It's a fucking Red Lobster, man. No, no.

Starting point is 00:53:00 When's the last time you did it? I haven't done it in a while. Oh, don't do it. Redone it. Oh, okay. Because I've never done that one. Brian was like, don't do it. It's horrible.

Starting point is 00:53:06 But apparently, because I was like, really? And then I turned it down because Brian's like, you're basically doing Captain D's. Don't do it. Because they're like, order 19 in the middle of your joke. There's like crab legs on everything. No, no. There's an actual club now. Like Bill Burr was there.

Starting point is 00:53:20 Ron White was there. Like they bring big boys now. All right. Let's get to the guy's question now. This is what I –. I have a suitcase that has two areas. The away ones? It opens like this.

Starting point is 00:53:32 When I do those, I put my dirty clothes and stuff in one side. I have a question for that. I have a question about that though. You're only gone usually for like three four days so the dirty clothes aren't as big of a pile as the clean clothes but i take a lot of stuff with me i have my computer i stream online so i have all that stuff over there my shoes and that kind of stuff got it okay cool so my luggage

Starting point is 00:54:00 still on the ground not opened yeah when i got back from tampa on sunday okay yeah i got back yesterday i got back monday it's now we're recording this on tuesday a little behind the scenes knowledge there it's not actually thirst thursday but uh um so you might actually be gone by thursday what's the sound i live character oh Oh, Mary Catherine Gallagher? Yeah. He's like, mm. He's sticking under my arm. He's like, mm. No, no, no. Stefan.

Starting point is 00:54:27 Stefan. Oh, I don't know that one. The gay guy. Bill Hader, yeah. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, he's funny. Oh, I know who you're talking about. But if you're traveling a lot, like, I like to go home.

Starting point is 00:54:35 So I'm not doing, like, the fucking tour thing where you're like, Wednesday in Minneapolis in 480 and whatever. You'll post up at a place. Yeah. So it's like, so I'm there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, then I come home. But then let's say I'm traveling again Thursday, Friday. So now that's why if I'm traveling like three weeks in a row, three weekends in a row, I'm not unpacking my bag. I get that.

Starting point is 00:54:53 Yeah, sure. I don't like to wear the same thing twice in a month. Okay. All right, Fran Drescher. Fran Dresser. Dresser? Is that what it is? Because he's dressing.

Starting point is 00:55:04 Oh, because he's dressing oh cause he's dressing yeah sorry oh don't you know what Nick dude for the only thing that you said this episode

Starting point is 00:55:10 I enjoyed it that was fucking horrible he apologized immediately okay fine he went right to that I'm so sorry I don't like to disrupt

Starting point is 00:55:19 I'm so sorry so like listen friend dresser listen listen so yeah dude I'm still feeling that one.

Starting point is 00:55:25 Hey, guys. Fran Dresser. It's just fucking awful. But let's go past it. Let's move past it. I enjoyed it. Be more like Chase. There's your fucking answer right there.

Starting point is 00:55:33 He enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. So my shit's still packed. It's a day later. It's zipped up. So is my wife's. But I think about it all the time. I'm like, I got to undo it.

Starting point is 00:55:44 Yeah, but i bet you i would venture to say that kristin is the type that she sees that bag and she starts to go yeah yeah yeah she doesn't like that's rachel like rachel actually packs for me now oh wow because you know she um because i'm the type where's her job am i right i mean job. Am I right? I will slap you. I mean... The bills are getting paid. But like, because I used to be the type like, let's say I'm going Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Coming back Monday, right?

Starting point is 00:56:15 So I have Thursday underwear, Friday underwear, Saturday. But it's just one pair. Rachel was like, so where's all your underwear for your trip? i'm like it's right there and what i have on is to actually you know so she's like now i have enough underwear to last six months yeah yeah yeah so she just like she i go what she's like i want you to wear this like when on our honeymoon rachel had our outfits picked out for every single day like every single day she had

Starting point is 00:56:46 to ask this what am i wearing today okay you're wearing this and i was like oh she loves this stuff so i just go all right what's up hey you know what i mean so she said here's i have i have so many t-shirts and so many jeans and stuff when i travel now so that's why i don't have a bunch of tommy i just go oh my god this is enough wow i have this over here my shoes and stuff so i just take the dirty clothes out and then I just add new things. Christian dresses you too? No, no, no. I have –

Starting point is 00:57:08 I'm my girl's Kanye. I dress her. Okay. I have – You have Louis Vuitton in your house? When I went to Seattle and Portland, dude, I didn't – I was like, I'll get a jacket there. I got a jacket there.

Starting point is 00:57:19 Oh, your little wing. And then somebody – Yeah. And then somebody brought me shoes and brought Calvin shoes like a fan. Like who owns the shoes? Shout a fan. Was it good shoes? Yeah. Shout out to Hearth in Portland. Well, I'll tell you if they're good shoes.

Starting point is 00:57:30 What shoes did they give you? They got Calvin two pairs of Fours, Jordan Fours. That's lit. And then they gave me the UNC Ones, the Jordan Ones. Okay. Those are really good shoes. Yeah. And they were awesome.

Starting point is 00:57:40 Look at that. How cute is that picture? Yeah. Same gate right there. Those are Calvin shoes that he got. You have similar ones on now you have the cement I do

Starting point is 00:57:46 my dad got me these for my birthday those are dope these are not cements these are the I can't remember what they're called those are the are those the what the

Starting point is 00:57:53 they might be the what the yeah isn't that cute with the car seat I love it dude and you're a roadie I'm his roadie

Starting point is 00:58:01 yeah exactly and then so Steve Renesiesi had that joke that's funny. And then me. That's just a bit. Are you in Chucks right there? No, those are the Dibbicks.

Starting point is 00:58:09 Oh, I love those. Yeah, they're great. Yeah, you want to put some more things in your back pockets? I know, I know. Jesus Christ. What the fuck's going on with your back pockets? No, it looks like just a piece of wood. Is this because he has no booty?

Starting point is 00:58:22 You know what I mean? Chris has zero ass. You know what that is? He was like, hey, can you get me two bricks? No. You know what I mean? Chris has zero ass. You know what that is? He was like, hey, can you get me two bricks? No. You know what it is? No, it is.

Starting point is 00:58:31 It's stacks of cash. Yeah, I know it sucks. I know. Oh, my God. Dude, and I will tell you this. No, it's not. One of them is my wallet and one of them is my phone. It just looks bad because, you know, your boy's plump back there. But, yeah, so anyway, I had a great time in there.

Starting point is 00:58:44 But my – look at that. Oh, fuck. I love being in there. So, all so anyway, I had a great time in there. But my, look at that. Oh, fuck, I love being a dad. So, all right. So what were we talking about? Your fingernails. The luggage. Oh, no. So now I got too much shit.

Starting point is 00:58:54 I had to leave. I'm like, what do I not bring home? I got to put this. I left a hoodie there. I get to the bell guys. What do you mean you left a hoodie? I left a hoodie because I'm like, all right. That doesn't even make any sense.

Starting point is 00:59:06 It does because you can't fit it. You're not going to carry it on like an asshole. I left a hoodie. I'm like, I'm not going to wear this. I left shoes. I was like, these shoes, I've worn them for five years. Thank you. You brought me joy.

Starting point is 00:59:15 I did the Marie Kondo thing. I put them down. I'm like, they're retired. What shoes were those? They were fucking Yeezys, bro. They were my favorite kinds. But they were a little dirty. I'll get them again.

Starting point is 00:59:23 You know what I mean? They're the dad Yeezys? Life keeps on ripping, dude. What? The dad ones? The I mean? The dad ones? Life keeps on ripping, dude. What? The dad ones? The Wave Brothers? Yep. Wow.

Starting point is 00:59:27 Life keeps on ripping, dude. You just got to grow. My shit. Now I got the different shoes. I got the UNC's, the ones. You know, Hearth gave me. Shout out to Hearth. Dude, life keeps on ripping and you grow.

Starting point is 00:59:39 Just get another bag. That's what I should have done. That's too much work. But it was too late and it was the night before we left. I leave shit all the time. It's so wasteful. No, no. Somebody will get it.

Starting point is 00:59:49 I give it to the bellhop guys. I see a big boy, I'm like, we're the same size. Life rips. I give him a life rip shirt. Yeah, exactly. Woo, woo, woo. And he's like, I already have this. I give him a life rip shirt that I found in a hotel room.

Starting point is 01:00:02 Yeah. I already have this one. Here, I think Chris Lea left this last time. No, your shit is just sitting in a loft in town right now. And every hotel across the country. What's this gentleman want? What up, boys?

Starting point is 01:00:16 Good audio. Chris from Inglewood, and I got some relationship advice for you guys. So I'm talking to two separate girls right now. Okay. One of them is living with her ex, but she shows that there's nothing going on.

Starting point is 01:00:30 She just doesn't want to break the lease. Not true. She doesn't want to financially get into some funk. So I'm like, okay. Whatever. So, you know, chopping up with her.

Starting point is 01:00:43 Second one has schizophrenia. And she's bipolar. Hey, whatever. She's pretty hot. So, you know, chopping up with her. Second one has schizophrenia. Hey, guy. And she's bipolar. Hey, guy. Hell yeah, I bet she's hot, though. She's mad. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:52 Help me out. Yeah, yeah. Go with this crazy one. I'm not doing the schizophrenic bipolar girl. No, there's no... Dude. First of all, this is quintessential man shit. Help me out, guys.

Starting point is 01:01:02 I really love you guys. I really appreciate all your help. Appreciate you, bro. Yeah. Appreciate you. Love you, guys. I really love you guys. I really appreciate all your help. Appreciate you, bro. Appreciate you. Love you, man. I like your choices. Do not date the girl with the bipolar and the schizophrenia. Do not do that.

Starting point is 01:01:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm listening to this. That'd be so stupid. Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. She could be fucking Giselle. I mean, I hit it once or twice, but don't date her. Giselle's beautiful.

Starting point is 01:01:23 Yeah, she's cool. No, I'm going to say it. Don't even hit it. Dude, this is awful, bro. This is awful. Well, she gets medication. Well, this guy, fuck off. And then one day she forgets it.

Starting point is 01:01:31 Betterhelp.com, promo code shop. And then she's bad. You help her out. No, this guy needs to change this Tinder filter or whatever it is. No schizophrenia. Yeah. No bipolar. Like, you can't.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Like, those are the options. His options are a hot bipolar schizophrenic chick or the girl living with her ex. Like, those are the only options? I'll take it from you. Here's the thing. Those are his only options. Those are two baddies. That's why he's putting up with that shit.

Starting point is 01:01:57 Bad. Them bitches. The ex that lives with the. Here's the thing. At least with the ex that lives with the thing you have an out if shit goes Ari right awry You said Ari. I like Ari. Oh, yeah, grande

Starting point is 01:02:10 All right, but are you already if they go Aria? Yeah, but yeah, but the thing is it's like, okay maybe I believe that you would only know if You can like just go over and it's no big deal or schizophrenia keeps you on your toes You should be able to stop over like if I could come by and it's no big deal. Or schizophrenia keeps you on your toes. You should be able to stop over. If I could come by and there's no issue, then it's like, oh, okay, what's up, dude? Yeah. But if it's like...

Starting point is 01:02:32 Oh, no, that ain't it. Oh, yeah. There's no question it lives with the ex-girl, dude. You don't want to be having sex... Before, you had sex with a schizophrenic woman and she's like, you're having sex with her and she thinks it's an orgy. Wow.

Starting point is 01:02:45 Hey, but what exactly is schizophrenia? I don't know if I've ever seen you say the dumbest shit and then giggle like that. No, I loved it. I loved it. Hey, Nick, what exactly – bring up symptoms of schizo. It's like paranoia, hearing voices. Both my parents are schizophrenic. Yeah, but these guys think –

Starting point is 01:03:03 I bet your holidays are great. These guys think under the definition it says good pussy also. No, I don't think that. Nothing's worth that. What's his name had it? Why is it all Asian? Beautiful mind. What is going on?

Starting point is 01:03:16 I don't know. I searched Giselle, and this is what came up. All Asian girls came up. With schizophrenia? I was trying to pick up a picture of Giselle earlier. That's weird. Yeah. But schizophrenia is so they think there's other people in the room.

Starting point is 01:03:29 I got to go to the bathroom so bad. I mean, I got to go grump, dude. What's grump? You know, I don't want to say it because I don't want to get flagged. Well, yeah, dude, I think neither one of these are good choices. So, you know. Listen, can you send us pictures of them? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:45 Are you trying to get serious? Like, who are you trying to get serious with? Even if you're not trying to get serious, this is just, the schizophrenic one is bad, dude. You don't want to be with women who have mental disorders. Of course, we've all been there, and it's not fucking good. You also don't want the other one that doesn't know how to make a good choice. Like, she's like, I'm going to stay because of my lease and all that kind of stuff. No.

Starting point is 01:04:04 That's a bad choice. Well, that's also a lie to stay because of my lease and all that kind of stuff. That's a bad choice. That's also a lie. It might be a lie, but my point is... It depends on how long. If it's just happened and then I'm with... She's trying to get her shit together. But if you've been like, it's been two years, fuck you. I need to see how hot they are before I make a statement.

Starting point is 01:04:19 Maybe, you know... First of all, the schizophrenia one, get out. Do not have sex. Nothing, dude. Live with the ex. If you want some cut, get some cut. Do not have sex. Nothing, dude. I see what you look like, bro. Live with the ex. If you want some cut, get some cut. But that's it, though, dude. Yeah, don't call it cut.

Starting point is 01:04:34 And that's been the golden hour. My Schizophrenic ass will be in Springfield, Missouri next Friday, Saturday. That's February 3rd and 4th. Tickets at thickboy.com. And I'm in Naples also in February. And then one night in Bakersfield. That thing's almost, Saturday. That's February 3rd and 4th. Tickets at thickboy.com. And I'm in Naples also in February. And then one night in Bakersfield. That thing's almost sold out. One night in Bakersfield.

Starting point is 01:04:50 Get you some thickboy.com. New Orleans, Sugarland, and Houston. New Orleans. I will be in Daytona and Lakeland. And, dude, come on. What's up, man? I'll be in New York, February 18th, Chicago. And we've got a bunch of different ones coming up.

Starting point is 01:05:03 Austin, Texas. Minneapolis. Let's do this. Oh, I've got one night in Brea, too 18th, Chicago. And we've got a bunch of different ones coming up. Austin, Texas. Minneapolis. Let's do this. Oh, I've got one night in Brea, too. I had to cancel the fourth. I have March 3rd Brea. Two shows only. March 4th.

Starting point is 01:05:11 Well, I'm going to be in Escondido, actually. The third and the fourth. Escondido at the Grand Comedy Club. It's a nice little club there. But the one I want you to come to, Bell Theater in New York. One night, February 10th. Come on, New York. Love you guys. Bye-bye.

Starting point is 01:05:28 Oops. Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour

The Golden Hour - I’m Punk Now | The Golden Hour #13 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

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