The Golden Hour - In Defense of Lizzo | The Golden Hour #40 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

The guys talk about Chris' new leg workout obsession, Erik's impassioned rant on the recent Lizzo controversy, requirements to be an astronaut, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s uncontrollable promiscuity, Cardi B throwing a mic at a fan and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast Draftkings - Code: Golden

Hey, this is Dr. Drew, and I'd like to invite all of you to subscribe to the Dr. Drew podcast. We are very proud of what we're doing there at that podcast. I am interviewing some of the most interesting people you could ever want to talk to. Just whatever I find fascinating, whether it's a smart person or an expert in a field that I'm interested in, or maybe I'm not even interested in. I'm only interested because I've heard them speak and become intrigued. I think you'll be intrigued as well. We get deep into topics that are quite important to the current age. Things like cognitive dissonance, cognitive distortions. How does our mind work? We talk

about everything at the Dr. Drew podcast that is of real relevance. We get all the way into deep physics and all sorts of stuff. But trust me, it's all very accessible. It's very interesting. Headaches. If you're even interested in learning about headaches, we get there. We go to the interesting topics of the day. Please join us at the Dr. Drew Podcast. We're friends that laugh. We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about.

But that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah I can show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the golden hour. It's the golden hour. Every time I see your legs, Jesus.

They're, what about them? They're atrocious. In what way? Describe them. Well, they're built like you were put together like Frankenstein. So it's like, like Nicki Minaj's top leg. And then like, maybe like some like skinny swimmers bottom legs you're saying it's basically my calves is that these ham is getting a little yeah there's like

the whale belly i'm doing it oh it's just like i you know i i really really focus on my legs in the gym you can't i know people look at me and they're like hey man don't skip leg day i do not skip leg day no i i i skip other days to do legs you love legs i love doing working out my legs yeah i love it i don't skip leg day either because i put it i'll have a breast a thigh oh no dude this joke and then you have to have the legs that's really bad i don't know i did not appreciate you gotta have a leg with the thighs, man. I don't appreciate that. You become a bodybuilder, dude. You bodybuild now. I'm a bit of a bodybuilder.

Dude, I see these guys on Instagram that are just like so jacked. I don't want to be so jacked. I don't want that. I think that looks not good. But man, you got to like marvel at their, how they did it. Well, we know how they did it. I know. But still, they work.

Hard work. They still work very hard. You also come from a line of like, because your dad, he's a slender guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no matter what, you have that. But they do say that anybody can do it, and I don't agree with that. No, that's a lie. Yeah, okay.

You know when your parents tell you, like, oh, you could be president? That's a lie. Well, that's not the same. I actually think it might be being in shape. It is, though. Like, he's just never same. I actually think it might be. It is, though. It is, though. He's just never going to be 6'4", 280 pounds. It's just not.

But I think that... He could muscle up. Yes. No. I could get... Okay. So now you're... So now... It's great that you were in mid-leg. I'm trying to say that and then you went... Now you're getting personal. I wasn't going to maybe go today because I didn't get muchlike. I'm trying to say that. Now we're going after you. Now you're getting personal.

I wasn't going to maybe go today because I didn't get much sleep. I'm going today. No. I think that some people have a better chance of being president than really getting really bulked up. I mean, like, take – Well, today, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But if you want to be like – like, you know, you can be an astronaut. Yeah. Right. I've just want to be like, you know, you can be an astronaut. Yeah. Right. I've just said it. So I guess. If you're colorblind, you can't. Like there's something. Can't be too tall.

Can't be too tall. Yeah. My buddy was applied to be an astronaut. He made it to the top like 500. Oh, wow. It's a tough. It's really tough. Wait, hold on.

Maximum height. Oh, the maximum height. I got it. I'm a little over 6'4". You couldn't do it. I can do it. It's really tough. Wait, hold on. Maximum height. Oh, the maximum height. I'm a little over 6'4". I feel like you can do it. I can do it. You have to be at least 5'4". What are you, 6'3"? Yeah.

I think I'm 6'2", in between 6'2 and 6'3". Is NASA like the comedy space? You can't be a white male? Oh, God. No, just Hollywood. Don't even. Not comedy, just Hollywood. If you fucking smash.

If you smash on stage, nobody gives a fuck. But I know you look at some of those lineups in Hollywood now, and it's just like, really? It is what it is. Yeah. So these were the 10 latest recruits out of thousands of applicants. Wow. Huh.

Listen to me right now. Huh. They don't care. Oh, yeah. Well, no. I hope not. I hope it's about the skill. Listen to me. They don't care. I hope it's about the skill. They don't care. Oh, yeah. Well, no. I hope not. I hope it's about the skill. Listen to me.

They don't care. I hope it's about the skill. They don't care about that shit. There's certain things that you can do, like acting and stuff, doesn't really matter. Wait, wait. But also, culturally, to want to be a scientist is something that has to be ingrained from very young. Even with politics.

Back in the day, there were people that knew. You come from a political family. They're like, all right, well, this is what I'm playing. Some people plan, I want to be president when they're 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the Kennedys. Historically, that's been a white thing, right? That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. But what I'm asking is, so take, I don't know, somebody who's, I'm saying But what I'm asking is So take I don't know Somebody who's I guess bigger Like take like Will Sasso One of the biggest guys Right Like could he be

Different big Right right right Because you wouldn't say He's like He's big He's just a big His calves are the biggest I've ever seen

So could he be Bradley Martin Yes Wow Because if Yeah because if he If he died right The structure is there But isn't the Could he be Bradley Martin? Yes. Wow. Yeah, because if he dieted right, the structure is there. But isn't that – but dieting – but Bradley Martin, if he just let it all go. He would look weird. But he's genetically gifted.

Right. Like take Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah. Not the weird ones, but the one he had with the nanny. I only know one. The one with the nanny. Oh, is there one? Yeah, he's jacked. Wait, how old is the one he had with the nanny. The one with the nanny. Oh, is there one? Yeah, he's jacked.

Wait, how old is the one he had with the nanny? The one with the nanny is like 18 now. Who is it? What's his name? I thought that that was something. The other ones are like actors and kind of small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is it? Patrick? Yeah, he's an actor, but he's real slender.

He had a kid with the nanny? Hold on. Where have you been? Oh, it's 2004. I know he slept with the nanny. I didn't know he had a kid with the nanny? Hold on. Where have you been? It's 2004. I know he slept with the nanny. I didn't know he had a kid with the nanny. That's how they found out he slept with the nanny. Yeah. He had a kid. Oh, God.

And they didn't talk about it for years. And finally, in therapy, his wife was like, hey, is the nanny's kid yours? Because he has a six-pack and he's seven and he was like oh yes i admitted come on do it so wait uh okay i like to come okay so i knew it in 1986 right now so i do remember so the other kids you know that he had yeah well i mean that's right but he got ain't that a bitch he's the only one who got like the schwarzenegger. Oh, to a T. But he got, ain't that a bitch? He's the only one who got like the Schwarzenegger DNA. He's jacked. That's crazy, huh?

Like genetically gifted since he was like nine. He needed somebody that had Mexican in him. That's weird. So hold on. Immigrant mentality, dog. Get to work. So hold on. So was the nanny Mexican?

I don't know. You're joking me. No, she's Latin. You know how to, you know. So hold on. So is, but the other one, Patrick, he's a good looking dude, right? Yeah. I think he's an actor and he's in stuff.

140 pounds. Is he really? Yeah. They're tiny. Really? It's interesting to see like these big time actors, how old they are and their kids are doing it now. So what did the nanny look like when she was younger?

Denzel Washington's kid is like a really great actor. Hey, Arnold, have a little discipline. Oh, he didn't give a fuck, right? Hey, Arnold, have a little discipline. You're like, what give a fuck, right? Hey, Arnold, have a little discipline. You're like, what are we doing? And then he was like, I don't know. And she's folding the laundry. He's like, you know what?

So that's him? That's the kid? Yeah. That's Arnold Schwarzenegger right there. Yes, when he was a kid. And if she's only, I don't know, 12 years younger, she's not that far off what we see today. So he was just like, I need to come.

And then she was there. Where is someone? So stupid. Come on, dude. Who's going to catch this load? And she had the laundry load in her hand, and she was like, what's in there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have load.

So hold on. Okay. I can't believe you didn't know that. No, I didn't know there was an, I guess, is it, what's the right way to say it? Illegitimate child. Yeah. I did not know. I guess I didn't know that.

But he's the only one with like the. Is he ignoring his kid now? Not now. No, they're boys. I probably learned it. Kind of boys. They show them that if you watch the Arnold documentary on Netflix, he's like, yeah, I love my kids.

I love my son. He goes to Gold's and the kid's like, what's up? And like pounds him and like walks off. Oh, that's funny. he's like, yeah, I love my kids. I love my son. He goes to Gold's, and the kid's like, what's up? And he pounds him and walks off. Oh, that's funny. You're like, well, this is sad. The kid's jacked. So wait. Okay.

And the kid – I must have known this. I just forgot it. And so they're still married, Schwarzenegger and Marie Sharpe, right? Absolutely not. They're not? No, dude. Wait, that's his other son? Yeah.

Yeah. He didn't get the job. Well, that also looks like Schwarzenegger, though. He probably looks like his mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks like Schwarzenegger in the face. Shriver? Yeah.

She's a Kennedy. So they're not married anymore? No, because he fucked the nanny. But is that why they got divorced? Sure is. Why wasn't this bigger news? It is. It was all over.

Well, go to his body. Hey, I'm going to blow your mind right now. He's also the governor of California. Who? I mean, that's a good body that guy has right there. Not when your dad's Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's funny you're saying this, but you're going like, why wasn't this bigger news? And the Senate is talking about UFOs.

You know what I mean? That's why if UFOs aren't bigger news, this isn't going to be bigger news. But I know about the UFOs. You know what I mean? That's why, if UFOs aren't bigger news, this isn't going to be bigger news. But I know about the UFO stuff going on. But it's like, what I'm saying is no one cares about anything. Oh yeah, I know that. No, I think this guy just like, this guy's like, I think if this guy put in the work, he could be

as jacked as he wants to be. But he's like, I don't want to do that. That's not his interest. I don't know about that, but look at his body frame. Come on, man. But compared to the nanny kid, he came out like, yeah, but the nanny kid was trying to bring up Arnold at 14. That's a good point. That nanny kid's

trying to prove something. I'm not just a load. Yeah. I'm more than a load. I'm more than a load. That's his documentary Yeah Like that's Arnold there

And he's like 14 Yeah but he was taking steroids No no Watch the doc Watch the doc You think I'm gonna believe the doc I can't believe that No he talks about when he starts taking steroids

And you can tell Like he's just genetically gifted There's guys like that I got a buddy named Joe Klofenstein, like Jack, dude, at like seven. It's weird. Just some people are like that. No, I get that the illegitimate son has that, but what I'm saying is the other son, he can start doing protein and like, you know.

Yeah, I agree. He can get Wolverine jacked if he wanted to oh absolutely not look at you guys you guys are inside each other in that picture all three

you're all inside each other it's like the island boys yeah we're island boys trying to make a baby yeah I gotta start hanging with Tinder hey shave your head man it looks good like that

nah I shave it nah you jealous of my long hair nah bro you jealous to get more long than yours huh nah it's not first of all no you're the only person whose head looks weird with hair you what yeah your head looks weird with hair because i i agree with chris you look attractive right there and now you look dog on ugly yeah Now you look fucking doggone ugly. Yeah.

Nah, nah, nah. That's right though, bro. Nah, you're a good looking dude. But what's up with your hair? Even all that stuff. Look, with the little part. Oh, that? You look handsome. Look at that fucking suit.

With the part. Check him out with the, you know, the 1984 part. Yeah, honestly, you even look good with Joanna's hair like that. How you had it. Yeah. When you had Joanna. good with Joanna's hair like that, how you had it. When you had Joanna. I even had a wig on that looked like Joanna right there. That was sick, right? I looked like a wrestler.

You look good. I'm growing my hair out. All right. Well. All right. I mean, look. You do you, honestly. For what purpose?

Just because I can. Yeah. Well, anyone can. No, they can't. Well, bald people. Yeah. Bald people. Your hair's pretty thick, though.

Yeah. I wonder when it'll fall. You know what I'm saying? It's like a Jew fro right now. Yeah. Is that racism? Yeah. It's anti-Semitic.

Is it? No, but you're anti-Semitic. No. I'm saying that. No. I love Jews. I love them more than regular people. Rachel would like to hear that.

Yep. Oh, she's Jewish? You can have a little Jewish boy. Oh, damn. You can have a little Jewish boy. That's cute, bro. It is what it is. You know what I mean?

Yep. Top dad. That's cute, man. That's what I told him right when he walked in. That's a dope shirt. You've got a booger hanging off your nose this entire time? Yep. And you look terrible.

I don't think I do. Yep. You do. I actually think that's fake news. Yeah. No, you got a little actually think that's fake news. Yeah. No, you got a little one in the back. Chris's boogers are like Christmas ornaments. It's hanging off.

It's like you got a sprinkle. Just a little sprinkle. There you go. No, there's not. Yeah, all right. Hold on. Take a pic. Oh, God.

Oh, that's a flake on the side. Sure, whatever, man. It's not a booger. All right. Fucking guy. Let's take a little break. Get your feet on my Oh, God. Oh, that's a flake on the side. Sure. Whatever, man. He's not a booger. All right. Fucking guy. Let's take a little break. Get your feet on my face, dude. Take a shot at huge wins with Drafting Sportsbook.

You could win big with Moneyland's props, parlays, and so much more. And now, am I right that right now new customers can score $150 in bonus bets instantly for betting just $5 on anything? Am I right about that? You're right, Chris. What? You are right. You got the UFC fight night this Saturday.

Corey Sanahagan and Rob Font. You can also watch the Joe Rogan fight campaign with me, Eddie Bravo, and Joe Rogan himself, and bet on the fights this Saturday. So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code GOLDEN. That's GOLDEN only on DraftKings Sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

New York, call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY. That's 467-369. In West Virginia, visit www.1800gambler.net in partnership with Hollywood Casino and Charlestown Races. All games regulated by West Virginia Lottery.

Please play responsibly. In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino Resort Kansas, 21 or older in most eligible states, but age varies by jurisdiction. See DraftKings.com sportsbook for details and state-specific responsible gaming resources. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuance. Eligibility and deposit restrictions apply.

Terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com slash baseball terms. This is fake news, dude. Fake news, dude. Speaking of fro, what's up with this guy? Yeah, he's got a question about his hair. Oh, nice. What's up, Golden Hour? It's your boy, Andrew from Portland, Oregon. I just want to shout out Chris for having me on Lifeline

recently. Man, that shit was hilarious. I don't remember. You and your brother just complimented me for six minutes, which was crazy because I thought I was going to get bagged on once, but you didn't, so that was nice. You don't remember this question? Well, stick around. You shouted out my podcast a long time ago. It's on my Instagram page, if you don't remember. Probably don't.

But still love you, boy. Woo, woo, woo, woo. And, you know, Brandon, Nick don't. But still love you, boy. Woo woo woo woo! And, you know, Brandon, Nick, Chin Lee. And not one, but two brothers in the back. So that's what's up. No, Casey's white. But I'm gonna get right into my question. It's this bad boy. Apparently all his young thotties have it these days.

I had it first, cause I just did. Can't prove it, but that's just what it is. Like the Edgar haircut. What's it called? I had it first because I just did. Can't prove it, but that's just what it is. My nose job? Yeah, what y'all think about it? Like the Edgar haircut. What's it called? The Edgar.

That haircut? It's kind of like his is like a messy Patrick Mahomes vibe. That's the worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. That cut is just terrible. It's like messy on top. It's so bad. Are you doing dishes with that? You know what I mean?

Well, the Edgar's like Lloyd Christmas. That's not what he has. I thought it was like long on top and then really. I don't like any hair that is bunched up in the front like that. Not me neither. That's a TikTok thing now. It looks like he purposely make it messy. Yeah, he has like, that's a perm. Yeah, that's like an S curl.

That's like a Jerry curl. Well, he's messing with his face with that, you know? Yeah, he has a good face. He's got a strong face. Yeah, he's messing with his face with that, you know? Yeah, he has a good face. He's got a strong face. Yeah, he's a good looking dude. Maybe that's what I complimented about him on Lifeline. You don't remember his question? No, not at all.

Just perm that shit and pull it back or something. Yeah, you got good hair. Just that style is just, for me, that's a no, dog. Yeah, yeah, that's a no. That's a no for me, too. I don't like when it covers the face like the the white version i don't know what his nationality is but the white version of it is the swoop down with the up like it's terrible the tiktok kind of but it's like

evolved since then i don't know but that's just like you know yeah right there whatever that is right there oh god this shit's like, are you bald? Is that what you're... Look at the kid on the right. Right there. TikTok hairstyle tutorial. Like, that's terrible, dude. Like, the wavy, messy...

What's up, YouTube? Steven, the salon guy here. And today, I'm going to show you guys how to get... Like, I don't have hair. TikTok hairstyle. That'll section through the hair. Why are we listening to him? He has no hair.

No, but because sometimes, those are the guys who know best, you know? Because they wish they had it. Yeah, they think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like fashion. This ain't divide, though. No, he would look way better if he got rid of that shit. That's like.

Yeah, but he's young. He's a cute kid. He's young and hip, and he's like just what people do. That ain't hip. We sound old. With that shirt, bro? Yeah, Jordan. Yeah. Jordan's jordan still i know but not that one not that shirt okay but i'm just saying jordan brand is still the biggest brand in nike yeah oh there we go oh dude eric you should get the tiktok hair that's him talking about eating pussy right there or ass did you ever have a fro like that

yeah this is what I'm saying I'm looking at this and that was me in 1984 really you actually had that back in the day yeah because that's what you did and I had a duck tail why not bring that back could you do it

cause I'm not crazy I could grow my hair out you get a good head of hair might help you sell tickets I'd come see that Because I'm not crazy. Oh, man. That would be cool. I could grow my hair out, but it's just like I'm done with it. Yeah, you'd get a good head of hair. Yeah. It might help you sell tickets. I'd come see that. You could.

No, you wouldn't. You're right. Brand yourself as a black hair guy. Craig Robinson has like a little type fro, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah. But that's just regular ass black dude hair. Right, right, right.

Got it. You know what I mean? This guy, we don't even know. I'm going to talk to him at the mixed meetings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To find out what's going on. This is crazy, though. Lizzo forced dancers to eat bananas from sex workers' vaginas during Amsterdam trip.

Well, at least someone ate something healthy. Yeah. Surprisingly, crispy creams. We need a company field trip. To Amsterdam. Yeah. She – It's probably something crispy cream. No, no, no. We need a company field trip. To Amsterdam? Yeah. This is great.

First of all, I want to know what – First of all, I want to know what forced means. Yeah. Because I don't believe that either. Yeah. Like that – Or did she say – She ain't going to eat it?

She's holding her mouth. Yeah. Open your mouth! Yeah. She's probably just like, do it yeah you know so this feels like some clout chasing bullshit for sure you know what i mean uh and and and you know and i don't i don't really want to go to bat for lizzo but i'm i'm saying yeah i agree i'm not a fan of lizzo but also I'm not buying that she's eating anything healthy.

No. No, well, she's not. She's not even around it, let's be honest. 30 grams of carbs in a banana. It's not healthy. Wait, what is the way I was reading that? It's a candy bar. What if that's what the article said? And it's odd because there are 30 grams of carbs in a banana.

Proves Lizzo. Began inviting cast members to take turns touching the nude performers, catching dildos launched from the performers' vaginas, eating bananas protruding from the performers' vaginas and assholes. Lizzo then turned her attention to Miss Davis and began pressuring Miss Davis to touch the breast of one of the nude women. I mean. Yeah, hey, Miss Davis, go like this.

Nah, I'm good. You know what? Let me tell you what's wrong with this. Yeah, hey, Ms. Davis, go like this. Nah, I'm good. You know what? Let me tell you what's wrong with this. Yeah. What's wrong with this? How thick they are? Well, that's a whole other.

If you're writing a story about this later, or you're recapping something later, this is always what they do. In the moment, I'm sure it was like, ah, you see that?

Of course. Oh, like, come on, stop being, don't be a bitch. And they were having fun. And then because she's Lizzo and famous, it's like, well, how can I get some attention? She's this monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now it's being presented like that.

I have such a problem with that. Yeah, me too, man. Yeah, now I'm upset. But I've been... You know what that felt like? That felt like the canceled horn. It's fucking horse shit, dude. But Orin Lizard could be like, yeah, isn't this funny? You should eat that.

She's like, no, I don't want to do that. She's like, you should eat that or you're off tour. Well, that's not what happened. But that's not what be like, yeah, isn't this funny? You should eat that. She's like, no, I don't want to do that. She's like, you should eat that. You're off tour. Well, that's not what happened. But that's not what happened. They would have said that. Yeah, because you guys know Lizzo really well. No, no, no, no, no.

But are you kidding me? It would have led with that. The media would have been like threatened to fire. Right. It's like, come on. This is just like. Plaintiffs were. First of all, let me tell you something.

This big bitch should be glad she has a dancing job. Well, yeah, right. Okay? For sure, yeah. Who else? You think Taylor Swift is going to? No. No one else is hiring you.

You know what I mean? It's like to turn on. These are facts. It's like, what are you talking about? Yep. This pisses me off because this is what society has turned into. Yep. Just some clout chasing bullshit for what?

Yeah. Damn, Eric's fired up. I know, because in two years, no one's going to give a fuck about her. Well, she's going to be off tour. Who? That girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have your little moment.

Hey, she tried to make me. How about in that moment you go, I don't want to do this? Of course, yeah. Or how about you eat and shut the fuck up? Nobody's going to make me. First of all, I'm not. Or just eat the banana. No, no, no, no.

Girl, you try to make me eat a banana out of a sex worker's pussy? Hello? I mean, dude. I'm better off if no one's watching. But like, no. No, no, no. I would never. I would never do that.

A sex worker? Fuck all that shit. No. Dude, how about this? I don't even like bananas. I don't even want a banana. They were probably drunk, having a good time. Of course, bro. And then you turned it into that? It's such bullshit. Shame on you. Yeah, shame on you. Shame on you. bananas i don't even want a banana they were probably drunk having a good time of course and

then you turned it into that oh it's such shame on you shame on you shame on you here's the thing people are always like well why would they make shit up do you do you know how this this is first of all well obviously they're trying to get some fucking you know she's talking to him but you know how good it feels you know how good it feels for me to be like hey you're so brave you're so brave dude You're so brave. Dude, that's your fucking all day long. They want that. And that lasts for a day.

But then she's like, you know what? I'm going to double dip here and throw a pool party. Look at everyone. We stand with you, girl. You shouldn't have ever ate that banana. Ain't nobody believe you're eating a banana, right? First of all. I'm with you.

You're so brave. Stand up for what's right. What is his post? That's one of the thick bitches that ate the banana. And she's having a pool party in Encino on Saturday. I want to go. And it's called the Fat Babe Pool Party. The plus bus, plus size events present the Big Dipper.

Just don't do it. Don't eat the fucking banana out of her pussy. I'm going for reconnaissance purposes. I'm going to this party. Document it, Nick. I hope they stomp me out. What I don't appreciate is we don't really know what happened. And everybody that's jumping in is filling in...

They're filling in the gaps with fantasy and the most negative thing they can think of. But also, to your point, how about these thick bitches be grateful they even have a job in entertainment at 300 pounds and high blood pressure? Yeah. The only thing they're getting award with is diabetes. That stage for the Lizzo concert must just be like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like.

You know? Like Samson. But, yeah, it's just. That sucks. Show me the video where Lizzo's like, eat it, eat the fucking thing. Then, okay.

Show me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise. If I was a young, aspiring dancer and I'm at a strip club, A, I decide to go to the strip club and Lizzo is like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise. But also, if I was a young, aspiring dancer, and I'm at a strip club. A, I decided to go to the strip club. And Lizzo was like, hey, man, we got to eat these bananas.

You're off tour. I'm like, give me that fucking banana. Wow. I'm going to give it. It's not the end of the world. That's the 80s, though. Yeah. This is me showing up to the pool party.

Yeah. Nick. I don't know how that's going to go over Nick Nick figured it out he was like I need some props for my humor nah I just you know I don't I just think like this is fucking horse shit

nobody filmed this nobody like she's got to be furious you can't film in the strip club bro first of all Lizzo has enough going on where she has to deal with people like us talking about her. And then the so-called supporter left mad at her anytime she wants to lose weight. So then for her people in her camp that she pays, who she's treating like friends. Right.

Because we're hanging out. Now she's going to be like this. Nah, I'll see hanging out. Now she's going to be like this. Nah. I'll see you at work. It's going to be, no, no, no, no. You're off the door to me a bunch of skinny white bitches. We'll eat the bananas. No, no, but what I'm saying is she's going to- No, no, no.

That just changes her. No, no, she changes her. She's going to cut off people. She's going to be like, no, I can't have. Now she's going to be like a loner in her hotel room with a buffet. You know what I mean? Just hanging out with skinny people. Just hanging out with no one because she knows she's this to be like a loner in her hotel room with a buffet you know what i mean just hang out with skinny people just hanging out with no one because she knows she's this famous right now

polarizing that somebody in her camp's just going to be like well this she didn't make me and then imagine like somebody hyping her up hyping that girl up to do that yeah she was like post that she's just telling like this girl we you know we had this lizard was trying to make me eat this saying it in a way that when the other person was like you know you should post that of course oh my god you should and then it turns into this it's always some person that's not around it's like this is what my dad always said don't trust fat people um i think that's probably not good advice yeah what do you what you're right now that i said that loud you're right dude lizard learned the hard way. Yeah.

You know what? Shout out to you, Lizzo. I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm a Lizzo fan now. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. How about that? I'm a fucking Lizzo fan now. Man, I'm still not.

It's like, you know what? But you know what? Can I just say this? Lizzo is a pawn, a political pawn. 100%. She's just trying to dance and make her music. 100%. And then she's a pawn by the political side. She's just trying to dance and make her music. A hundred percent. And then she's a pawn

by the political side. She's more of a lobster than a prawn. You saying prawn or pawn? I'm hungry. Me too. No, dude. Yeah.

Get on with it. Look. Trying to rile you boys up. She's obviously. A little too much Lizzo praise for my liking. Oh my gosh. Minnesota Vikings.

We're not asking you to fucking go down on her you know what i mean she's too uh i'm saying i ate that banana she's too big and she's not healthy but i'm a fan now yeah but that should not be the concern no it's just a shitty that that makes that it becomes the concern well y'all'all saw that. What's the, look up the 500-pound body activist, the body positivity activist that died. Yeah. You know? It's like she's 500 pounds, died at 37 of a heart attack.

And we're supposed to, what are we supposed to feel? Look, be between 100 and 280 pounds. Oh, thank you. That's it. Yeah. I'm willing to go. Even 280. Yeah, I know. That's it. Thank you. Yeah. I'm willing to go 280. Even 280. Yeah, I know.

Depend on your height. But I'm willing to go 300. Good. Woo. No, I'm willing to go 300. Be between 100 and 300 pounds. Any more than that, dude. Come on, man.

Start moving. Start moving? Start moving that, dude, come on, man. Start moving. Start moving? Start moving. Shut your mouth. Yeah, man. You're going to die. Everyone's going to be so sad. Well, it's like when I watch My 600-lb Life.

I mean, spoiler alert, those are not cold cases. All of them die. First of all, here's my problem. When they can't get out of bed, to me, that should be the first day of the diet. Yeah. Have you said this before? I feel like I heard you say it. I'm just saying, whoever's bringing them food enablers, get up.

Oh, you can't get up? You don't eat. Thank you. The food's in the kitchen. It would be like this. You're in bed. I would keep the food just out of reach for that person. Exactly, dude.

You know what I mean Yeah But you would think They'd get out of bed When you start to have Scallops between your thighs When they get like Those barnacles And scallops

All I'm saying is How do you And their feet are like How do you get To 600 pounds Without having people Around you Who should get

Their ass beat At 400 You're like bro You know you're getting bigger. We ain't getting a forklift in to carry your ass to the hospital. It sucks, man. They got to get the forklift and go. That sucks.

And then break the door down. Bro, people say fat shaming, and it's like. That shit works. But what about if fat is a word, then some people are fat. Yeah. So who are those people? Fat shaming. That's all in the eye.

You know what? This all gets convoluted because what people are really saying is be nice to people. Yeah. No matter what shape they're in. No, no, no, no. Let me finish. Okay. We say be nice about how you tell me to lose weight.

Yeah, which I do agree. I do agree. That's all it is. Oh, you fat pig online shit. Fuck off with those people. Yeah, which I do agree. I do agree. That's all it is. Oh, you fat pig online shit. Fuck off with those people. Yeah, yeah. Fuck those people. Oh, yeah.

I saw somebody say something about, you guys kind of overweight, and he does a food review. Yeah, that's me. It's funny. No, no, no. And he was like, and somebody commented on it,

the next thing you should review is a treadmill. And it's like, it is funny, but it's like, but should review is a treadmill. And it's like, it is funny, but it's not that funny. And it's like, who is this motherfucker? The problem is that it is funny. Yes. What do you mean? And why is it funny?

I saw this producer article from a producer, and she goes, we need to stop doing fat jokes. I promise you they're not funny. No, no. Hey, bitch, they're funny. They're hilarious. That's what the issue is. So people are saying, can we be nice?

But at the same time being nice, me being nice to you also is being like, hey, I think you should get in shape. Well, that singer, her boyfriend was like, you always told me, let you know, Beba Rexha. She was like, with her boyfriend, hey, if I get severely over-shaped, let me know. So in a text, he's like, hey, babe, you're 40 pounds overweight. You told me to let you know. I'm just giving you a heads up. I love you no matter what. She posts this.

Put him on blast. Well, fuck her, dude. No, she was thinking. Everyone was like, you go, girl. No. Everyone was like, hold up. You specifically asked her. Oh, she was doing it to be like.

Yes, and it backfired on her. So she was doing like look my boyfriend's being supportive look at it no like this piece of shit just because i put on some weight put on 40 pounds just because i put on some weight he didn't talk to me this way and he's like you told me to let you know in a loving way if you were getting overweight wow let me see this her name name is Baby T-Rex? BB Rex? BB Rex, sir. She's bad, though. She's hot.

Go, go, go. Go up. But she put on 40 pounds. She's like, hey, bitch, can you quit eating Cinnabon? She's like, how dare you? She's a housewife? No, bro. She's a famous singer.

Baby T-Rex. BB Rex. She sings that song, Roar? So stupid. I can't believe that hurts. I appreciate your commitment. See, she thought this was going to go one way, but even women were like, hold the fuck up, bitch.

You're the one that told him to tell you. And he was super. This is kind of like the, what's the fat kid from Superbad? Jonah Hill. And his girl was like how dare look at this good narcissist and was like yeah oh the jonah hill thing yeah fuck that other ass so look at this hold on this is the boyfriend texting her yeah and her face was changing so i told you it was that was the conversation we were having and you asked because i care would you rather i lied to you you gained 35 pounds obviously you gained weight and your

face changes should i just pretend it didn't happen and that's okay? Come on. I gained three pounds and you call me chubs and fat. Yep. She sure does, dude. Doesn't mean you don't love me. If you're trying to find reasons to break up, this makes sense, but it's not the real reason. If you're unhappy with me, yourself, with me, this guy's

totally a stand-up dude. This is a nice guy. The way he's doing this is very thoughtful. This is what I'm saying. She's them ladies love people love this type of attention so this is what she posted or what did she this is what she posted that yes that's like he called me fat ladies get them and was like uh i don't think so she's like yes i put on 35 maybe 45 pounds that's a lot of weight that's all the. She's 5'4". Check this out, man. Not everybody.

She's still popping. I think shame is an emotion that is natural and it makes us change. That's why you have shame. To remove shame from society is ridiculous. Right. That's what it's for it's like guilt you know why you feel when you do something wrong you feel guilt and that guilt is what makes you go you ever watch first 48 yeah most people confess because they feel guilty it's not a

lawyer president it's an emotion we're supposed to feel shame is one of them not everybody can deal with in the same way i'll tell you this story i'm in uh i'm in uh in the comedy store hallway just way back in the day store hallway. It's way back in the day. I just came back from the Middle East and I've just been eating, eating, eating. I'm having a conversation with Ari Shafir. We're in the hallway talking. In the middle of me talking in the conversation,

Ari reaches up to my cheeks and jaws. Put roofies in your mouth? He squeezes me like this and then he goes, what's going on? In the middle of you talking. Yeah, yeah.

In the middle of you talking. He was just like this. Bro, what's happening? And I was like, okay. Yep. Okay. Next day,

I went and started working out. Really? Yes. Because that's, I'm okay with that. Can you imagine if you went online, you're like, I can't believe I already grabbed my face.

You believe this? I was in the Middle East enjoying my time, eating hummus. I'm just saying, like, what I'm saying is, like, not everybody can deal with the situation. But what I'm saying is let's not just make, like, shame is a real thing that we're supposed to feel. It's natural. Look, I've said this in the past, all right?

If our bodies are a wondrous machine, okay? When we're tired, we yawn because our body's saying, you need to sleep. When we're hungry, because we need to eat. When we're horny, our dicks get hard. Pussies get like soaking wet. Because that's our body saying this. Our minds are the same way. If we're guilty

of something, we feel guilt. We feel shame. So if you're looking in the mirror and you feel fat and disgusting, it's because you're fat. All Brian has to do,

he'll do it if I'm getting out of my discipline diet or whatever, just go, I'm getting a little soft. Next day. Next day, I'm on it, though. Also, he does that even if you're fit. Well, he'll do it to me, though. No, like he knows that's all I need.

I'm good. But that's what I mean. We all do different things. So for everybody out there to be like, oh, he shamed you when in their relationship, this bitch said, hey, can you let me know help me because i know you love you know and then he did that and she said oh here's an opportunity he weighed 25 pounds for me to get that's fucking hilarious 25 pounds like i mean it's not i don't even think it was like that i have 40s like that is a betrayal what she did yeah it is a fucking

betrayal enjoy your pizza hut and it backfired on her yep now she's single oh no no but i mean the people were like oh yeah it's a betrayal man that's a betrayal that's a betrayal of their one for the men yeah guys rule he man hater club baby t-rex is fucking out of line it's not her name's her name's big well she's fucking big like a baby t-rex i'll tell you that much maybe t-rex's weren't even that big well uh adolescent t-rex t-rex t-rex welcome to the club what's up dude so with this guy who's definitely an eminem fan hey what's up chris what's up brennan and! This is Dylan, from Maine, currently living in Georgia though.

I got a little debate for you guys. The people that panhandle on the side of the street by the lights, do you, say you just get out of a drive-thru and you just got food and you're eating, do you guys still chew your food when you go by them like a madman? Or do you do what I do and I just keep it in my mouth? I don't chew because I think it's disrespectful. One, if I saw someone chewing food, I would be pretty hungry. I don't know about you, but I just think it's rude when people are really hungry and starving.

Because they're always out front of them like that. Yeah, Chris rolls the window down so they can get a smell and then looks right in their face. I just pretend I don't see him. I got to tell you something, man. This is like, I keep money in my car. I shouldn't even say that. Now people are going to like, you know.

But if I have dollars, you know, change dollars. If I pass by someone, I always just be like,. I shouldn't even say that. Now people are going to like, you know. But if I have dollars, I, you know, change dollars. If I pass by someone, I always just be like, and I know it's not even enough. Especially if they have kids. I always, I give them whatever. I'm just saying, it's not even enough. It doesn't even matter. This dollar isn't going to help change a person's life. But there is something about, for me, where I go.

I go like this. Do you take credit cards? No. You have cash app? Oof. I just think that there's something about, like, when, you about when you're living a great life, so it's like, what is it? Yeah, of course.

You know what I mean? Dude, there was a homeless guy at Starbucks in Malibu. I was with my kids. Let's get him on the pod. Yeah, we should. He's like, man, he's got a lot of hate. He's done that before. No, he-

He declined. Yeah. He goes, will you get me a coffee? Crystal E on it? Oh, yeah. He has no Theo? I would come on if Theo was there. But the guy goes, can you get me a coffee?

I'm like, yeah, I'll get you a coffee, man. He goes, cool, man. I'll take a large coffee, 17 packs of sugar. Oh, you didn't tell me this. Yeah, 17 packs of sugar. I was like, wait, what? He goes, large coffee, 17 packs of sugar, lots of cream. I'm like, can i just give you the

money to get in there and do it you know well one time i was in cleveland i got it for him i was in cleveland and the club there's like the there's a casino down the street and so there's like it's not the best area but this guy approached me the way he approached me is like excuse me brother can i just you know and just the way he did it, I was like, he wanted a sandwich. Yeah. And I was like, don't worry, man. And I went and bought him a big ass sandwich. And he just was like, because I thought, yeah, if I'm going down to a casino and I'm going to drop $500.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm trying to say? I just felt like I think we should all feel like that. Bro, I was in San Jose on tour, and I saw this lady with two kids. Had a sign that was like, I have kids. We're starving. I see kids. I'm like, oh, fuck. So I give her probably $200.

$200 cash. I'm like, you're $200. She's like, thank you. God bless you. I'm walking by, and this cop goes, dude, she's here every year. He's like, don't give her money. Her husband picks her up in a Mercedes. I'm like, oh, god damn.

But it is true, though. So I killed her. I killed her. And those are my kids now. She learned. Oh, okay. Those are my kids. You know what?

This is the thing. Your intent was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't worry about what their intent is. I know. And I'll get to heaven because of it. You know? It was one of the few.

I think they'll still stop you. It's going to be a clipboard. Outside the club, like, Eric, Eric, Eric, let me put in a word, bro. I don't know him. I'm almost fucked up. It was one of the few perks of living in your car. If a panhandler asked me for money, I was just like, I'm homeless too, bro. Oh, yeah. But I'd be furious.

That's a great upside, dude. Bitch, you got a car. I'm a big silver lining guy. Glass half full for Nick over there. Nick's so positive. I would, but I'm home right now. And can you get off my property? You want to be roommates?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get off my lawn, man. I got to take a piss. I would, but I'm in my... Beware of homeless guy. What else you got, Nicholas? So do you guys stop chewing, though? Do you guys stop eating?

I pretend I don't see him usually. Or if I do, if I have an extra sandwich, I'm like, this is fat. I just give it to him. Unless it's a Whopper, because those are 12 bucks. Fast food drive-thrus. Look at you You think you're better than me? No I don't

You think you're better than me? You never wanted a burger? Don't eat that shit You're a piece of shit Oh I'm sorry Mr. Health all of a sudden Well I'm not Mr. Health all of a sudden But like You think all that coffee you drink is good for you?

I mean it's better than Is it? You ever had a Whopper with cheese and ketchup only? You know how Wappenheimer daddy? Dude You and my brother are Wappenheimers. Listen, I've had one. Because you blow up the toilet after.

Dang. Exactly. That'd be a great ad campaign for- 100%. Wappenheimer. Wappenheimer. Get your Wappenheimer. That's a funny fucking joke.

But you really knew your kids never had fast food? Nothing? I mean, no. If Calvin is... I mean, what do you mean? Calvin's three. Yeah. No billion.

What? No, yeah. Calvin's not like, dad, go to McDonald's. Be back. No, but... My three-year-old is. Yeah, no, but Kristen might go through the drive-thru and get McDonald's for her and Calvin. But you won't touch it.

You judge them. I don't judge them. I just don't. I won't eat that. I already know Rachel ain't about that shit. What? She's so, like, conscious of, like. Oh, she is?

Just, like, organic this and that. Oh, your kid could get weird, though. That is true. That is true. Those kids are so weird. My kid's going to be weird. My brother's a Jewish model. His kid's going to be weird. My brother's a Jewish model. His kid's going to have the best of both worlds, dude.

Because dad's going to be like, dude, get you a french fry. You don't want to sneak that cinnamon in there. That's what I do with my kids. Don't tell your mom. Yeah, that's what I do. And they always tell her, you're a snitch, bitch. Oh, this is crazy. This Cardi B. I saw a little bit of this But what happened

But do you know the context of this So on stage She's like It's hot up here Toss some water at me Throw me water Throw me water So this lady

She was on the other side Of the stage When she came over there The lady was like Yeah here's some water And then she was like Hell nah bitch And threw the mic

She's like whoa She apologized She's like I thought you wanted water Everyone's throwing water Here's the thing about Cardi B And then she also did it water. Everyone's throwing water. Here's the thing about Cardi B. And then she also did it last night in LA at Dre's. Here's the thing about Cardi B.

She hit the DJ. Here's the thing about Cardi B. Go ahead, Chris. She's obviously very, very blatantly obvious. She's an awful human being. She's a terrible person. And you can tell because of any four-second clip you've ever seen of her. It's never good, is it?

Isn't she the one that said she used to rob people? Dude, this is what I want to talk about. She said she got her teeth fixed so she can suck better dick. She said she used to drug men, rob them, and leave. Okay? Hot. She used to say, that's a kink I'm into.

She could drug me and rob me all day long. You know what I mean, man? I'll wake up, party shit, man. Like, where'd she go? Oh, no, where'd she go? Into the camera. You terrible, bro. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yeah yeah that'd be terrible but but hold on how how does she still have a career music too yeah because dude she used to drug dudes and rob them you know admittedly

she was a stripper though she used to drug dudes and rob them. Who cares? Her music slaps. Fine. I don't. Look. Yeah, but she's. Also, the community she's in, they're like.

I know. I know that. Yeah, yeah. In like a weird defense of Cardi B. Drug her in. It was dudes who were. They were johns. They were taking advantage of her.

How so? No, it was a transaction. She was getting money out of it, too. It was dudes who were taking advantage of her. How so? No, it was a transaction. She was getting money out of it too. It was a transaction. Dude, that world is not. It's seedy. She was a hooker or what? Yes, she was a prostitute.

Yeah. For both sides. She was a hooker. And whatever situation put her in that, we feel for her. I get it. I get it. But she used to drug dudes and rob them. Yeah.

That's awful. Who guys were probably paying undervalue for what they were getting. You should be their agent. No, I'm just saying. That whole world is seedy. That doesn't mean the guy should be drugged and robbed. The guy's paying her pieces of shit. She's a piece of shit.

They're all pieces of shit. They deserve each other. And I'll tell you what. If that guy, whoever was doing that with her, became a fucking singer, everyone would be like, no, dude, he used to fucking do this. Nobody's done that to her. You wouldn't have a career. The guy told me a Rolex story. Was it one of you?

I don't know. But the guy was like, I heard this story. So the guy was with a high class prostitute. And he had a $50,000 Rolex. I mean, I didn't tell you this story you know and and no and then the girl dude was it you that told me this that one time this guy was telling me he murdered a person and put his body in the river no but the girl so the girl he went to the bathroom whatever and the girl stole his rolex so what you did without having so then well

you know what he did it's not what you get No what he did Was he went to like He went and got He'll be smarter $50 fake Rolexes And then he would get High class prostitutes That's funny bro Talk about it

Be like Yeah it's my $50,000 Rolex Afterwards Knowing that they Would steal it in jet And not get And we wouldn't have to pay them Yeah

Oh shit That's fucking hilarious So everybody's a piece of shit That's That dude's just everybody's a piece of shit. That dude's just gaming the system. Yeah, he's just gaming the system. Whoa. He had an AP Royal Oak. That's fucking hilarious, dude.

Dude. Yeah. This guy got fucked. He had a Rolex Daytona, which is the best Rolex, and they had an AP Royal Oak, and they both got stolen. Worth $87,000. Hopefully those prostitutes were bad. But how could you leave your fucking watch

in a hotel room? The whole point of this is you think... He wanted it to happen, dude. I'd be like, oh no, my watch is! Ugh. What a weird kink, right? He just leaves stacks of money. Oh my God, my $250,000

in cash. Oh my God. Bro, that's such... Dumbest kink ever. That's so expensive. That's such an expensive kink. The more money, the hotter it gets.

Oh my God, you live here in my house now? Oh no, where am I going house now? Oh, no. Where am I going to live? On the street. Yeah, you just leave the pink slip for your car. Dude, he's in a Carbobot under the freeway. Fucking, oh, it's so hot.

But the guy with the fake watches is brilliant. The guy's like, why do you keep buying these? so hot. But the guy with the fake watches is brilliant. The guy's like, why do you keep buying these? You know, man. He's probably not even a great actor. He's just like, oh, I'll be right back. It'd be a shame if you took this. It's worth $80,000.

I know I said I had to pee, but turns out I gotta go number two, so I'm gonna be in here a while. Don't leave. It's got the price tag on it. Yeah. You know he's got the camera in the bathroom. Just look, you know what?

Just jack it in. Just jack it in. Yeah. Oh, take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. And it was always after, so I mean, I think the whole thing.

Look, I used to- They should just legalize prostitution and make it fucking taxed. It is legal in some places. Well, I know, I think the whole thing. Look, I used to just legalize prostitution and make it fucking, you know, tax. It is legal in some places. Well, I know. Well, outside Vegas. Not in Vegas. Not Vegas. Which is stupid.

So you mean the place where it should be legal is not legal? I thought New York made it legal for a little bit. And they're like, this is out of control. Really? Yeah. They're like, this is a terrible idea. Guys, you can't be doing this at fucking Radio Shack. Yeah.

Because Amsterdam doesn't. I'll take a VCR and some pussy back in the 90s. So I'll take a Nintendo Power Club and a Dickside. No, that's like when you just want to buy stuff so people don't know you're just getting pussy. Yeah, yeah. Like when you buy condoms. Yeah, I got to get light bulbs. It's corn nuts.

You know what I mean? And plan B. Can I get to plan B? That's what you would do for plan B. And let me get... This was one hour ago. I'm going to get some pussy. New York eyes decriminalizing prostitution

after Maine takes similar step. Maine? Dude, the prostitutes in Maine are party, I heard. That's interesting. I heard they're Lizzo's backup dancers. I just don't understand. I don't know. This is one of these things where-

Pimp free NY. Woman power. I don't- It's really- Unless you're a religious person and you're all fucked up because of that, I don't understand why why anyone would say no i don't want prostitution yeah let them make a living it's i guess i guess people feel like yeah same thing as only fans well not really because similar because you can

you can send those girls money and get them over to the crib. Everything. Look, look. As long as you use... As long as you use... It's not positive, but... As long as you use sex to sell things, people will be objectified. Yeah. And for the most part, predominantly, that's going to be women.

Yeah, of course. If you use sex to sell... Not with my body, but yeah. My body, you see? I haven't seen it. And if you fucking... I've seen it. But there are some guys that are like that, too.

When you see a Calvin Klein model, and he's in his underwear... I feel bad for him, man. The guy's like, this guy's being sexualized. It's terrible. I mean, it is what it is. But here's why I always say this. Like you go to a restaurant, especially in Vegas.

I remember going to like Wolf King Puck. I went there when I was there. But like a burger place, right? The waitresses, dude. What they're wearing, you're saying? If they're supposed to be a four, they're wearing zeros. It's just camel toe. And I always thought to myself. You get upset? Dude. What they're wearing, you're saying? If they're supposed to be a four, they're wearing zeros. It's just camel toe.

And I always thought to myself, what does ass and titties have to do with food and beverage service? A good time, man. Don't be such a square. It's kind of confusing, bro. I got a burger at a strip club once, and I didn't even eat it. It was weird. What I'm saying is we use sex to sell. So a waitress will say that. Yeah, I've dressed like this because I get better tips.

That's prostitutey. You know what I mean? Yeah, prostitutey. You know what I mean? It's not prostitution, but it's right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on the way. It's on the way.

It's a gateway drug. It's a gateway to it. Oh, you're talking about the tilt-a-kilt? God damn, let's go there. That's what I'm saying. God damn, I'll take a burger. It's at the Christmas meeting there. You know, but I mean like-

They're cheerleading. They don't look like that. All this kind of stuff. I've been there. Have you? Yeah. They look like me. This is like a Midwest thing, right?

Yeah. One banana, please. What? One banana, please. So what's up? And then Hooters, this is basically the same thing as Hooters, but in the Midwest. I've never been to a tilted kilt. Yeah, and there's also Peaks.

There's something like Pike's Peaks. Oh, yeah. Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks. Something that just shakes with big tits. That's where I heard that one. But Hooters, they got sued because they can't profile and discriminate women with big titties. So now you got these little itty bitty titty bitches delivering your wings.

I didn't come here for this. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. You are ruining my Hooters experience. And that's why I'm starting a business called Peaches. It's just big ass. I come here for big ass titties and shitty chicken wings. Yep. And it's also, it's not like when they show up at the job interview, they're like, let's see those titties.

That's discrimination. But they go like this. No, we're good. You know what I mean? You don't really know why they're not getting hired they should be hiring they should just do it like they should hire models that then you could do it then it's okay what do you like it's like doing vegas why in hollywood like in hollywood it's okay yeah in hollywood they're looking for certain types certain types and you could put it into the description oh big titty white girl yeah so now

like oh i see what you're now people, why can't I go in for that? It's like that would be ridiculous because that's what that is. It says big titty. If the name of the place is Hooters and this is the service they're providing, why fight that fight? But this is what I'm saying about objectifying people. That's what it is. So, yeah, just get rid of it completely.

But don't act like you don't understand it's crazy that hooters still exist to be honest in this day and age but although a lot of them are just closing down man yeah it's just well on the coasts for sure but i mean not in fucking like milwaukee and shit right who gives a fuck they're just like where the fuck is hooters yeah we want to see tits and eat. Dude, I've been to Hooters maybe once, maybe twice. Dude, it's terrible. That's what I'm saying. I kind of like it.

No, it's terrible. The big-ass titties are distracting you from how shitty this restaurant is. But also, are there hot chicks at Hooters working? Yes. There are. There used to be one across the street from my gym in Aurora. We used to eat there all the time. Oh, Dallas has hot chicks everywhere, bro.

Yeah, Dallas. Yeah, Dallas. There was a Hooters across from where the club was. When I go to Dallas, I get off the plane, I go, oh, no. Boing. Yeah, Dallas is popping. Dallas is popping. This is country Kristen at home watching this episode.

You ain't going to Dallas this year. No, no, no, no, no. I see Dallas on the tour schedule. You're never going to Dallas again as soon as you get, no, no, no. I see Dallas on the tour schedule. You're never going to Dallas again as soon as you get home. That's why I went to fucking, what's it called, last time I ever went to Dallas. Corpus Christi. Dallas is the shit, though. I like Dallas. I could move. I could live

in Dallas. Really? Yeah, yeah. Dallas is the shit, man. The people there are so dope. Fort Worth is the move. But right now, it's super hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking hot here, though. It is fucking hot here. Not that hot. In the Valley. You know where it's, I actually like the area, but you know where it's just too hot? Houston, bro.

Dude, the humidity. That shit? Yeah. Bro, it's, you go, oh, no. Yeah, that's what I think. No, no, no. You know when you're a California kid? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you're a California kid and you go anywhere with any kind of extreme temperature, after like two hours, you're like, how did they even get people to live here? Like Phoenix in the summer? Yeah. And I love Phoenix, dude. I was in- It's the humidity that fucks you. 42% humidity.

That's the thing that fucks you, yeah. But I was in- Your ass starts sweating? I was in Vegas last weekend. It was 110 degrees. Oh, yeah. I'm done. It was 110 degrees, bro. It was like a blow dryer. It was 110 degrees. I'm done. It was 110 degrees. It was like a blow dryer.

It was just like... Dude, yeah, it really does. And we were walking down there and they have... You're walking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was crazy. And I'm holding Calvin.

And then we see guys. The guys are there like dressed in Woody from Toy Story, dressed as Marshall from Paw Patrol. And it's just like, are you dying in there? Yeah, they're dead.

The guy's not even moving. They're just dead Spider-Man on the fucking... Yeah, yeah. The homeless look like beef jerky. There'll be a homeless guy in Phoenix? Bro, get to LA, bitch. And I don't understand why in Phoenix... I feel like every building should have solar panels on it it's a weird thing that

it's not but they're playing catch up now i mean that well here's the deal dude the whole deal with the solar panel shit and then electric cars like there's electric cars are so much better for the fucking world, but no Hey, dude, I Know you've been working out. What the fuck did you just say? Live on air disagree that blatantly To not just be like well, I know but also maybe you just straight up said, that's not true. Dude, what the fuck did you just say? Why?

Because of the whole. It causes more pollution. More pollution. To get the stuff that makes those engines run, it causes more pollution. All right, well, I don't know enough about it. The cars are heavier. This is a very right-wing propaganda position. What he's saying?

No, it's not. It is. It is. Right-wing. These are just facts. They're heavier. They're faster. You're all right, dude.

No, bro. I'm Antifa. I'm woke. I'm woke, dude. I believe in everyone's feelings. Well, my pronouns are fucking you. No, I will call everybody everybody the dark side of solar power that's from harvard title that's from harvard a very woke well i mean this is the

thing it's like anything you create there's bad it has to be something negative yeah yeah in pronouns i want to call everybody their pronouns if they change daily i i want to be kept abreast and i will always abide by their roles every day if you feel like a man today i'll call you he him tomorrow you say yo chris let me know i'm a woman i say that's great man i like to be kept a titty fuck off dad jokes coming your way dude what is this bullshit is this even that's mental health yeah yeah well for sure it got Fuck off. Dad jokes coming your way. Dude, what is this bullshit? Is this even?

That's mental health, yeah? Yeah, well, for sure. It got crazy. But how is that even a person is what I don't understand. Dude, 14K. But what I don't get is. I make bad decisions with money. This guy.

Where's his face? In the fucking dog suit. So it's a dog suit? Yeah, dude. This is the same guy. he got no what this is the same guy that fucking like lets women rob him yeah yeah yeah he's like he said i need to how do i spend money this is absolutely sexual oh i'm a dog yeah yeah discipline me take me on a walk so the whole point is to make real dogs fuck them. I didn't think about that. I didn't think about that either. He's just in the park like, I wonder if that pit bull is trying to get it.

Man, he spent $14,000 to be a collie dog. But this is back at people hating on him? But what I want to know is. This is equivalent to your shoe thing. But what I want to know is. I don't think so. He went through no surgery, right? Yeah.

I don't think so. For sure. If there was an article that said, spends fourteen thousand dollars on shoe collection gets all no this would be like man what happened swimming in women swimming in pussy hold on this guy that turns in the dog no this is like a guy spends fourteen thousand dollars on becoming a shoe but but what about my question is, wear me. He's just standing there. Yeah, yeah.

Put your feet in me. Yeah. So hold on. Did the guy go through surgery or is he just wearing a costume? I don't know. Because if he's wearing a costume, who gives a fuck?

So it says taco-weighted. He's a furry or whatever. Life-like costume. Taco-weighted 40 days before the special suits and makeup company finished the dog costume. Yeah, it's just a fucking suit.

It's a suit. Who cares? It's out of his mind. And now is he eating dog food? Of course not. He's deleting like, oh, look, look, look what he is doing. Oh. Well, what a moron.

What a horrible turn. This is the one of those things you just go, hey, you know what? This guy needs help. This is your lifestyle choice. Good for you. And you know what? Shouldn't be allowed to vote. This is the kind of thing that you don't publicize.

Like not everything needs to go on the internet. Don't be around me, dude. Yeah. But that's why he did it. He wants the attention. Yeah, of course. As a dog. Or he's just, no, I don't, maybe he doesn't want the attention and maybe it's just he

is this guy. No, he showed up at a press conference. Maybe he really wants to be a dog and and they're in his face with the cameras, and he's like, I wish I could do something about it, but I'm just a dog. I wish I could tell them I don't want to be filmed, but dogs don't do that.

You guys are clearly mentally ill. Oh, yeah. I mean. Oh, yeah. He's not in press conference. That's funny. Isn't that funny? He's got press coffers That's funny Isn't that funny? He's bored

Or collie personality disorder Dude Alright Well I want you out of here I'll tell you what Nick is on one today Props

He's got banana jokes Yeah Carrot top over here The kept A titty thing Which far That after that I need to be kept a titty thing was far. That after that. I need to be kept a titty.

But he should have known not to do that that close after the kept a titty thing. You don't like to be kept a titty? No, that's so stupid. What's this guy want, Dick? Chin likes to be kept a titty. Super cute kid. You want to say hi? Okay.

I'm Yoku out of Pennsylvania. Had a King of the stinging for you today um you need a shirt as a dad i'm curious uh what you guys think eric put the controller down he said gaming as a dad got the big news you and rachel um i am also a dad and i do play video games as well as a few other things i actually just tore my bicep at the gym gonna get probably surgery that's a bad injury. I game. That's great, man.

I try to lift, and I'm also an entrepreneur. I actually just started an apparel line for gamer dads. I like it. If you want to check it out. So yeah, seeing it or seeing it, gaming as a dad.

I'll take this one. Is there an age where you've got to put the controller down? I get my kids a Nintendo Switch, so I play it with them. You want to say bye? Yeah, but if you're just... All right, cool. Oh, bye. So cute. to say bye? Yeah, but if you're just... All right, cool.

Oh, bye. So cute. All right, see you guys. If you're talking about this is something I do in my free time and it's just like a hobby, then okay. Maybe you have to get different hobbies or you have to organize your time. Or get the kids involved.

But I'm literally like, I make money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not anymore, daddy. Not anymore. That kid comes. Yeah, but it's still a job. I have a gaming account that I'm going to use all for baby stuff.

Yeah. And I told Rachel, I was like, yeah, here's just a credit card that's connected to the baby. Get whatever you need. So anytime she wants to get like, I want the $2,000 crib, daddy got to go game. Oh, that's awesome bro daddy gotta shoot some of these teenagers call of duty right now i gotta go i gotta go

drop in on this br you know what i mean so you want that so she's like but i do have to make like she hates like i have to make time yeah but how do get paid, Eric? Do people pay to watch you? Yeah, I have subscribers. I've gotten many opportunities to do things. During the pandemic, gaming saved me. I did all these different things. I gamed on different platforms. Yeah.

I did this thing like Twitch Rivals. I did a thing where I gamed with T-Pain. He had a show on Twitch. they paid for all that stuff so i had like i mean i was like wow i survived without doing you know and so i'm still doing it now so it's like it's not like a huge thing but the opportunities still come i went on twitch the other day for 30 minutes 31 minutes to be exact just because i was like feeling like doing it I was with David Sullivan. Were you playing? I went online. I played Batman, which that game

is fucking awesome. Oh, yeah. The Arkham Asylum. I was playing, I think, Arkham Asylum. Yeah, that's one of the best games. Which one? Batman, yeah. Bro, that game was awesome. I played for 30... Say awesome again. It was awesome. I played for 31 minutes and then I just checked and I made $109.

Just people paying to watch you play? I guess so. Yeah, right? Yeah, you get subscribers. You get tips. It is very much like OnlyFans, but not as lucrative if you got titties. Right. Or a big dick.

A friend of mine manages OnlyFans models, and she was telling me that she has one model who only has 2,000 subscribers. That's it. Okay. 100,000 a month. I don't believe it. I do. Your friend's lying. What's up with the woman who...

No, I believe it. What's up with the woman who twitches when she sleeps? Apparently, she makes a lot of money. Oh, that's a new thing, too. There's a lot of stuff. When you go on Twitch, there's a lot of different categories., that's a new thing too. There's a lot of stuff. When you go on Twitch, there's a lot of different categories. You don't even know what she's sleeping. Kick is the way it really is happening right now.

Yeah. You go to kick and it's just like. They pay to watch him sleep? That's some creepy shit. Detectives are like serial killer, serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. Kick is great.

I mean, kick is like they're giving more money because they can't compete with Twitch with the ads. So look. She just sleeps with her ass out like that? Oh, well, she sleeps with her ass. Oh, well, she didn't tell me she was hot. Amaranth or whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's her, right? She's big on there. She's pretty hot. And she just sleeps. I guess. Oh, that's odd.

Well, I mean, yeah. No, I get it, but she also streams when she's like, Chris, Chris, Chris. Shh. It doesn't matter what she does no I I understand that I'm not

kicking back on you but my point is why wouldn't you want to just watch her in the doing stuff because I watch it 24 7

go show the picture again Nick of sleeping no no the other one the sleeping one's pretty cool Chris Chris Chris yeah I understand but I'm saying she tweets

twitches in the daytime and night time like hey what's up and dances and shit right can't stop won't stop no no no no eric you're misunderstanding me why wouldn't you rather just watch her when she's not sleeping but she does both i understand that but they're not watching her 24 hours a day yeah they are well this is people are crazy crazy cool it's just like those stupid girls who are doing that like eating thing Oh my god How is that any Oh my god

I mean sometimes people just have Whatever the thing is The voyeuristic Yeah it's that You know what I mean I'm gonna be in Charlotte Fuck yeah I got it out I'm gonna be in Charlotte

Coming up in August, dude. I got dates in Brea. I'm going to be in fucking, I know you heard that because I did it right in between the thing that we were talking about. We didn't do it up front, didn't do it at the dance.

So I'm going to sell tickets to Charlotte. And Nashville and Little Rock, Arkansas for some reason. And also, I will be in Knoxville, Tennessee. I'm in Phoenix next Friday. That is August 11th.

One night, two shows. Stand up live. You can catch me at JT Wings during the day. Stuff in my Lizzo face with JT Wings. But at night, two shows. One night, August 11th. You can watch me sleep. I'm going to just promote one date.

August 7th. Right here in LA at the Hollywood Improv in the lab. I do an Eric and Friends so come check me out it's a really small show I host it because I work on material and I have a few people

come on the show so come check it out by the way are we done? yeah we're done oh we are I didn't even know okay alright kids love you Thank you.