The Golden Hour - Investment Opportunities | The Golden Hour #83 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

The guys talk lethal injection operators, Erik's Matt Rife stories, Shane Gillis's Tires show, the snuff film with Nicolas Cage, the funniest thing Chris ever saw, South Park's spoof on Lizzo, self driving cars, Chinese electric cars, AI tech advancements, Kevin Gates being wild and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast Shady Rays - Head to https://shadyrays.com/ and use code: Golden for 40% off sunglasses. DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code GOLDEN.

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power

Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour We go to Phoenix. So I'm like, we're prepping for Matt's special. You know, I'm in a row with him. We were in Phoenix. I forgot the name of the theater, but it was like a Small little spot.

What are we talking about here? 5,000 seat theater, right? It used to be the Comerica Theater, and now it's- What's the name of it? But he did seven shows. Well, I did one. Okay, so- He did seven shows, and they gave him a plaque.

They gave him a plaque because it's the most ever an artist has sold at this place. And seats 5,000? Sold 7? 35,000 tickets? Bank. Something bank theater. And then we went in one of the days we went to Tucson to do two shows there. So in that

Kid is hot right now. In that week in the week I was with him we were in front of 40 something thousand people. That is crazy. It's more people than I've performed in front of in my entire career. 38,000 girls. You know what I mean? No, it's not.

Oh, really? No, no, no, dude. It's totally different now. 38,000 what? Girls. No, no, it's totally different now. You know why? I didn't know what you said.

Because when I go on stage, I'm talking about, I'm telling this story about birth and my wife. So I always ask, like, where are the parents at? And I'm telling you, it's like a good half the crowd is like, whoo, look at their parents. I was like at the Hollywood Bowl, same kind of thing, you know. It's like this weird interaction. So the other day, just like yesterday, this lady,

you know who Mark Brunette is? Yeah. He's like big producer, survivor. Oh, he's a survivor, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. His, like, wife walks up to me. I'm out with Rachel and the kid. I got a hat on.

My beard is shaved. And she goes, hey, I saw you at the Hollywood Bowl. Oh, wow. Yeah, you were so funny. You were my favorite. Oh, cool. And then she starts to tell me her story. You know what I mean?

It's the ex-wife because this is the new hot wife. Shit, I was going to put you on survivor but what i'm saying though is like what i like about like going out with this kid is like you know they they already love him and i'm getting oh yeah yeah you know new fans i had a buddy call me he's like man this matt rife is even funnier like yeah dude he's great and he goes yeah i see all this hate online man he's selling tickets bubba so i sent him the thing that Matt posted as his Netflix special, most watched special in the year. I go, that online stuff, because he's a good-looking kid

and he'll do some whatever controversial stuff. I go, dude, he's a good kid. And also, here's the actual facts. And I go, the most watched special on Netflix. And it's hours watched, too. That's what I'm saying. It's not even like views. It's hours watched.

That's crazy. Yeah. Like more than anyone else. Crazy. And guess who directed that? Ha! I don't know. Chin, let them know.

Eric, the reason you did. Where's your plaque? Am I right? That's what I'm saying. The article never says says you know. Because Matt needs to be like, hey, if you give me a plaque you need to give Eric a plaque. No, I don't need a plaque.

With cheese. Alright, well, can we have waters? Sorry. Really? Give me a Diet Coke. Water's for hoes. Am I right no no

you're not right water is the lifeblood hey we're neighbors not yet soon though you keep doing that I'm not you're not neighbors

no we're not even neighbors like you could just say that we're all neighbors right now because we live in California you're looking too though and my neighbors say I'm telling

what's that one I like that one. Fuck, I was going to say something, and now I don't remember. This is a Patreon, right? No. No, no, it's free. Oh, right, right, right, right.

Nice. Oh, I'll be in Des Moines, Iowa. Thanks, Big Doug. Thanks, Big Kev. Green Bay. Thank you, dude. And I got my Australia. ChrisLeah.com.

So you got a cold brew coffee with Sativa in it. And Oxnard, California. And now you're sipping down a Diet Coke. This is important, Eric. With your pinky up. ChrisLeah.com. So you got a cold brew coffee with Sativa in it. And Oxnard, California. And now you're sipping down a Diet Coke. This is important, Eric. With your pinky up. ChrisLeah.com. Dude, I'm so sick of you and your dates. Well.

Because people come to my shit and they'll be like, hey, Eric, love this thing. And oh, by the way, you can find Chris at, you know. Winning. So fucking annoying. Thank you, fam. Winning. Thank you, fam. You know what I tell people?

I haven't done this in a while. I have to do this. Oh, when they wear their fucking merch? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fans. You know what I tell people? I haven't done this in a while. I have to do this. Oh, when they wear their fucking merch? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wear my merch to other comedians' shows. Yeah, but you did it with Brian, I think, first. Oh, yeah, I did. And then it leaked over to my show.

And they're like, look what we're wearing. I'm like, that's for Brian? I go, I like when you guys do that. I don't care. Yeah, yeah, I know that. For Brian, it's fun. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I care. Yep. I want you to. Yeah, yeah. I know that. For Brian, it's fun. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I care. Yep. I want you to do it to everyone. Yeah. Everyone. Do it to Seinfeld. I don't give a shit. Do it to all of them.

Kevin Hart? I want them to have to see life rips while they're up there. And another thing about gazebos. Here's the thing about gazebos. Gazebos. Anyway. But, you know, I'm playing. But, you know, I'm just playing, man.

Did you see the Kevin Hart? The Kaisa Nott thing? No, the Mark Twain Award thing. No. You didn't see it? I would have watched it. No, no, no. Was it any good?

I have seen zero specials. That's not special. I know. I know. I know. But I looked at Matt Rife's, right? I looked at... I think that's it. Did you watch Shane Gillis' show?

No. Yeah, I did. Good? It got better. Nick's jacking off, so he loves it. I don't say... Well, I'll tell you the thing about it. I don't watch comedy shit.

Wait, wait, wait. Can I tell you something interesting about that show? Well, the first thing is is the people that made that, they made it themselves. They self-funded that, made it themselves, and then licensed it. Yeah, Shane's team? To Netflix. But the reason I fucked with it also, I love Shane, but also it's like changing this woke culture.

They say shit. It's like old school comedy. Oh, dude, the funniest line. That's why I like it. I haven't seen it yet. These girls. It's these girls. They're doing a bikini car wash.

And the girls go, yeah, what are we going to be like? You're taking us to Epstein's Island? And Shane goes, hey, if you guys were at Epstein's Island, they'd be furious. It was so. hey if you guys were at Epstein's Island they'd be furious I was like that's the first thing I thought too was like oh good for them and then they had this thing where he was making these Asian jokes and I was like perfect get them perfect but yeah it is like I thought but here's the thing though man Netflix doesn't have to answer to anyone so they're just like okay let's do this how you change the what I'm saying is

The way they did it is great You just make your own show And you license it But now they got a second season already Before an event So now they can probably put more money into it It's just one Location

They did it on the cheap man It's great. I mean, it's like... Have you watched it, Kev? Just Nick has. I know Chin hasn't. I don't... Special or Netflix?

Tires. Tires. Shane Gills' sketch show. No, I didn't watch it. It's not a sketch show. It's a show. It's like Office and the entire shop. Love it.

I love sitcoms, so... I'm sure it's funny. I just haven't seen it. Oh, I started watching this new show. God, I think it's going to be big. Breaking Bad. I love sitcoms. I'm sure it's funny. Oh, I started watching this new show. God, I think it's going to be big. Breaking Bad. I'm on season two. You think that'll change the culture at all?

I think there's a chance. It's so good. You just started watching it? Just started. Yeah, he just started. I've never heard of it. Whatever. Dude, I watch Dune 2.

Did you like it? I'm not really. I bad guys you didn't you didn't like i like the bad guys i can't see you liking that yeah you guys watch stupid shit um it's great man i just don't i don't i i'm not into timothy chalamet you're not into him no like he's fine and and zendaya the two of them together are very boring zendaya is it zendaya yeah tomato tomato okay if i say tomato okay she was great in smallfoot what are you making up no she's in the she's the voice of smallfoot what the is that dude he's a kid you don't have kids bro he used to go watch dumb movies no but no it's in days 18 dude i make my kids, bro? He used to go watch dumb movies. No, but no. Zendaya's 18, dude. This movie came out. I make my kids watch my stuff.

Rachel was playing songs for, you know, and I was like, this is why we grow up liking terrible music. Because when we were kids, it's just, you know, whatever that repetitive like, baby shark, do, do, do, do, do, do, all that kind of shit. That's why. We didn't have any of that i changed my shit quick though i was 12 just like tonight tonight tonight whoa no and he was also way off no i'm the backup singer i'm the vote backup vocal whoa But yeah, so anyway.

That's one of those moments that I don't care where you are. I don't care what you're doing. If that song is on, it gets to that point. Everybody goes. That's why I brought Mike Tyson back. Hangover. Dude, you see what happened to him? Before that, people wouldn't touch him.

Wait, wait, wait, dude. Mike Tyson was just on a plane, and he had to- Fake news. I saw it. Is it fake news? The plane was really hot, and he got really hot. Yeah, it's fake. He messed with his ulcer or something.

It was stupid. But they had to stop the plane anyway and get him off because he was the celebrity. But he's fine. The fight's still on. He was just nauseous. Yeah. I get nauseous when the plane's still fucking on. It was so stupid.

You saw the headline, and then you read a little bit. You're like, ohous when the plane's too fucking hot. It was so stupid. You saw the headline and then you read a little bit and you're like, oh, fuck this shit. They got you. I didn't read. There you go. That's the problem.

I need the headlines to be better. You're the problem. Yeah, no shit. You're the problem. The headlines should be better. Well, there's no headline if it's like, plane got hot,

you know, passengers had to get off. It says Mike Tyson got sick on plane, might miss fight. You're like, oh, fuck. I didn't see the might miss fight.

I just saw that. That's just what I inferred. Yeah. Most people. Health scare, they say. Yeah, health scare. Yeah, it wasn't a health scare, dude. It wasn't a health scare, bro.

Is he beating Jake Paul? I don't know. Because I don't know what's going on. Hold the fuck on. You're so quick to talk about how you could beat up Jason. He has a big thing about. You could beat up Mike Tyson. He's saying age has a lot more to do with it. You could beat up Joe Rog about how you could beat up Jason Tatham He has a big thing about You could beat up Mike Tyson He's saying age has a lot more to do with it

You could beat up Joe Rogan You could beat up Anderson Cooper You could beat up everybody Anderson fact But you can't make a definitive Straight answer Shop You know why?

Can Tyson win this fight against Jake Paul? because i don't know if it's a real fight if you tell me it's an actual straight up real fight jake paul knocks him out really yeah man he's fucking six age is a huge part of it yeah i think it's if i mean i'm not arguing i agree i think if tyson's gonna win he has to do it in the first round he has to catch him like first 15 seconds he's got to catch him no has to do it in the first round. He has to catch him. Like first 15 seconds. Yeah, he's got to catch him. No, no, no. I think at any point, someone that hits like he hits, if he gets him, he can get him at any time.

But it's got to be early because he's old. I get this question more than anything else. Mike Tyson, Jake Paul. Everyone wants. My whole thing is if it's a real fight, Jake should win. That's how this should go. I don't know what's going on with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know. But is there a money line? Nick, give us the money line. It's plus 180, Mike Tyson. Who are you betting? I bet Mike Tyson at, like, plus 150. So, okay. I would bet it goes to a decision.

I'll take Jake Paul, yeah. You're going to take Jake Paul? I wouldn't bet on it. Most of the money is going to go. Where is most of the money going to take Jake Paul. I'll take Jake Paul. You're going to take Jake Paul. I wouldn't bet on it. Most of the money is going to go. Where is most of the money going? I shouldn't. To Tyson?

Most of the money is going to Tyson, right? Yeah, because you don't know what the fuck. I'm going to put a thousand on Jake Paul. You are? Yeah.

I just put a bunch in the video. Stupid losers. I will spit again. Okay. Yeah, I wouldn't bet on it Because too many shenanigans I don't know There's shenanigans

$400 on NVIDIA today Alright so You do that You're on the app And you're just buying stuff Fuck yeah bro Fuck yeah Is that like Facebook marketplace

Bro I go to I don't know what it is Dude you know what I do Oh here we go. I'm at night. The market's fucking closed, bro. And I'm just looking. I go, buy, buy, buy.

When I wake up, ooh! To see. I made 60 bucks sleeping. I just got an account again when the GameStop stuff was popping up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought it at the absolute peak. Worst, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's like 22 now. NVIDIA is killing it. But I'm back in the game, and I do do that same thing. It's fun, bro. It's fun. What do you, so, yeah. I got some TKO. That's the that same thing. It's fun, bro. It's fun. What do you – so, yeah. I got some TKO.

That's the UFC and WWE. It's been doing well. Okay. Okay. Okay. I bought – Wow. This looks – wow.

I bought some Nvidia. So five – wait. Go back a year. Yeah. Oh, bro. It's like you look at this stuff, and you just go like this. If I only knew. Yeah, yeah.

What's like Bitcoin look at this stuff and you just go like this. If I only knew. Yeah, yeah. What's like Bitcoin? Dude, wait. Did you see the guy that bought the pizza with the Bitcoin? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Today it's worth $770 million. Yeah. I would see that.

I'd be at home like this putting my gun together. I'd blow my head off. Yeah. Put on the silencer because I don't want anybody to hear or find me. I do. Hey, Nick. Bang! Nick, what happened to NFTs?

They're like, yes, we know what that was. Are NFTs still a thing? No. They're completely gone. They're gone. Like, it's not a thing. No one makes them. No, you can get them, but it's horrible.

But what would you do with them? You would never do. Even during the hot time, you don't do anything with them. Dude, the guy that even thought of that should be arrested. No, he should be shot in a firing squad. Like, bring that back. Yeah.

Or like... Can you imagine when you're firing squads, one of the shooters, you didn't know if you had the killing shot or not. What if you had a blank bullet? Yeah. That's terrible.

That's it? That's it? That's what you're a blank bullet? Yeah. That's terrible. That's it? That's it? That's what you're saying right now? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That's hilarious. Why is it crazy? Yeah, because you still would...

I would still feel that guilt. Well, yeah, you shot a fucking guy. I know. You don't know for sure, though. But still, just give me the bullets. A bunch of bullets hit him. I would want to know. No, no, no.

See, I think only like one or two of the bullets are real bullets oh yes i didn't know that okay so now this makes sense that way you don't have too much guilt but i'm always glass half full i'd be like that wasn't me i'm saying i i would be like it's me it was me i always i got proud of it got it. You heard what he did? Treason. Treason. But you know the guys who do the thing for the electric chair or for the lethal injection? Yeah. You ever looked up how their lives turn out?

Because they kill so many people. They're so fucked. They should just put the person in a room. I don't even know how you... Because somebody's in charge of this. Yeah. Those people that are in charge of it? So fucking bad. put the person in a room. I don't even know how you because somebody's in charge of this. Yeah. Those people that are in charge of it so fucked in the head.

You put them in a room and you go, all right, the lever to the left, pull that. Nah, you just make a bunch of different levels, a bunch of different levers,

a bunch of different people. I'm talking about like 300 levers. You get 300 people in there. One of you guys is going to kill him. You don't know who. No, it should be the victim family. Yes.

You have them in the chair going, you ready? Three, two, one, boom. You give them a PlayStation controller and they're just like, you know what I mean? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just like a... No, but that's what it should be. Interesting.

That's a little... No, no, no. Or a robot. If they're there, then they could do it. If they want to. I do it If they want to I understand If they want to Yeah I'm saying

But if you have this feeling And you show up I understand It should be that If you're one of these people That's like I don't think I don't like this I'm not going to show up

Somebody's going to do it Yeah you might as well be The person that you Yeah ask one of the victims Father or something like that You could ask him It's a nice point to argue Yeah

Might ruin someone else's life. Who signs up for that? Is that like a job application? The guy who does it? Who's interviewing? How many people have you killed? Have you killed people before? Zero, but I'd love to.

Right, exactly. It doesn't even make sense. In a dark room? Are there levers? I love it. Even as a kid, I've been into it. That's one of those things that you don't know you have to do when you get the job. You know what I mean?

You probably start off like this. Oh, by the way, there's a part. I'm skipping. You just signed a contract and they're like, ooh, little. You also have to. No, I bet it's gradual. So you know bad guys. How do you spell that?

No, I bet it's gradual like hey Jim Gary's sick do you mind just pulling the lever today and then you're there for 12 years I'm just saying how do you sell that

how do you sell that to these people what are they called that's just one of their one of their executioners executioner yeah

but it can't be listen it can't be that they're executioners it can't be right that can't be the job right well whatever title you want to give them right no no it can't be that they're executioners. It can't be. That can't be the job. Well, whatever title you want to give them.

No, no. It has to be part of your job. It has to be like accounting and also. Bill, Bill, you got to kill someone. Hold on. Almost done with the quarterlies. Like you're doing the books. You're doing the books. And like, oh, and also.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see the bylaw? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little firecracker. Because you don't need a talent. You just fucking. Nick, are you see the bylaw? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little fire train. Because you don't need a talent. You just fucking. Nick, are you looking it up? I'm looking up a lot of stuff.

What specifically are we looking at? Nick's not paying attention to all the stuff we're talking about on the show. I want to know about stocks. He's betting. I am outraged that Nick is not paying attention. Let's take a break, dude. Let's take a break, bud. Because I'm exhausted.

Oh, yeah? Why? Well, you know, just because. But also, check this out what uh well the season ahead is uh is going to be really sunny am i right oh dude dude the future is sunny it is and with uh you need with that you need quality shades built to last and our friends at shady rays have you covered with premium polarized shades that won't break the bank. Polarized is important. Super important. A lot of people miss that.

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Use the code GOLDEN for 40% off sunglasses. Try for yourself. The shades are rated five stars by over 300,000 of your friends. Get your shirts in the back. Family, friends, death rips shirts in the back. Also, I'll be in Milwaukee. Yeah, it's like clearly him. Yeah he's like he doesn't even have like a real hood. It's just like, you know, like the cat woman shit There'll be videos, you know, you like there'd be videos of you know, how

On on patreon you'll be like, yeah If you if you sign up for patreon you can see the whole thing you see the whole execution, right? And you cut right before they died like on on porn hub execution right and you cut right before they died like on on a porn hub they went for the and then it goes just like i hate that i hate that so the guy would be like inject he'd be like no no no no and it would fade out and be like see the rest on patreon oh that'd be terrible i dig that horny i mean if you really want to make if you think about it if you think about it like how much money do you think that would really make if there was pay-per-view to watch executions? One billion dollars.

I mean, right? One billion dollars. People would be like, I'm not going to get that, you know? Right now, Newsom's like, uh-huh, keep going. I mean, that's just one of those things where it's like how morbid people are anyway, you know? You wouldn't check it out? That's what I'm saying. If it was like Ted Bundy or they got, you know, they kind of got you on September 11th? No, no, no. saying. If it was like Ted Bundy or the kind of guy who blew up September 11th?

No, no, no. It wouldn't be someone like Ted Bundy. No. It would be some guy that ran a school bus off the thing. And you're like, oh, fuck this guy. I wouldn't watch. You wouldn't watch? No.

Oh, I would. Yeah, I would want to see that. I don't need to see you dying. Nick, pull. This isn't Patreon. You wouldn't even watch that. I don't need to see you dying. Nick, poll. This isn't Patreon. You wouldn't even watch once? I don't think so. What if I came and was like, dude, it's late.

Is it someone completely unrelated? Like, would you go watch an execution? No, no. I think we're live feed of it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Would you like, you know. I don't think I would know.

If they offered it, would you buy it? Yes or no? That's what I would want to know. That's a good poll to do during the live when you premiere it. And I guarantee you, like, say the Boston bomber, when he blew up all those people during the Boston Marathon, they caught him. They're like, live execution, $1.99.

Yeah. How many Americans would buy that? Yeah, a lot. A lot. Man. A lot. I'd do a fight companion. You know what I would do? You would do that, right? Yeah, a lot. A lot. Man. A lot. I'd do a fight companion. You know what I would do?

You would do that, right? Yeah. Fight companion. Death companion. You would just do that, right? Just to be like, and then once you have like, you know,

the $400 million, you would just be you on screen going like this, you sick fucks. Yeah. I'm not showing you this. Then it just fades to black. Doof.

Oh, then you get sued, right? Yeah, you get a Lamborghini and you just fucking... No, you'd be like, I'm going to release everyone's name that bought this. I would not do that yet. I haven't seen anybody... I haven't seen anybody die. You ever, back in the day, you ever saw, like, Daniel Perlman with Al-Qaeda or ISIS get beheaded? No,

of course not. That's dark. I saw that one. That one's tough. That would have fucked me. It did. Oh of course not. That's dark. I saw that one. That one's tough. That would have fucked me. It did. Oh, it did. Oh, Bubba. It was like a butter knife.

I didn't sleep for three days. And you can hear him going. You ever seen the Russian one that was online for a while with a dull knife? I did not, sir. I think I might have seen. What's that? Faces of Death? I've seen that, but. I think I might have seen... What's that? Faces of Death?

I've seen that, but... I think those were fake. Yeah, I think they were fake, too. They were good. A lot of them were. I think some of them were real, but... There is one where, like, it was, like, a politician or something.

He got caught for something, and then he was doing a press conference, and he just shot himself. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I don't know if I saw it, but I was like, I was like looking at it like this.

It's wild. You know what I want? I wish First 48 or all those murder shows, I wish I could pay a fee where they don't blare out the dead bodies. That's crazy. Like First 48, dark edition. Bud Dwyer.

Do you remember that Nick Cage movie? Live press conference, dude. I'm glad everybody's here. So we've got a few things to go over. But before that, it's like we don't have to go over them. And they didn't add the delay until J-Lo's boob or whatever. Right, right, right. Jenna Jackson.

Jenna Jackson. This is fine. Well, remember what I was going to say? or whatever. Right, right, right. Janet Jackson. Janet Jackson. This is fine, but. Yep. Well, remember, well, it could have been like, what if like the dude from last week's episode when he messed up

Samuel Jackson and Lawrence Fishburne. I was like, oh, fuck. I'm the fucking worst. That would be so funny. Like, why did he have a gun? Oh, my God. Fuck. Am I racist? I'm so funny. Why did he have a gun? Oh, my God.

Fuck. Am I racist? I'm so sorry. And that goes on. What if that was the silencer? Somebody came up to me at my show two nights ago in Charleston, and it was a teacher, and he's like, I have this in class, and I use it,

and all my students use it when somebody makes a mistake. And I think that's really cute. Chrisley.com. These kids all have apps. Yeah. So, now. You wouldn't pay

an additional fee to get rid of the blur dead bodies? Why do you want to see it? Just own your own shit. Don't try to bring me into your fucking dark ass. I feel like,

you know. No, not with this. No, it's crazy, man. I wouldn't do that. You ever see the Green Mile?

Yeah. That's fake though, Nick. Yeah, but he doesn, man. I wouldn't do that. You ever see The Green Mile? Yeah. That's fake, though, Nick. Yeah, but he doesn't wet the sponge on purpose because he wants the guy to suffer. Oh, no. And he just burns and- Killed his mouse. Yeah. It's not real.

It's fake. Remember, I was talking about that Nick Cage movie. Remember the snuff? Yeah, 8mm? 8mm. I liked that movie. I know nobody liked it. I liked it, too.

I loved it at the end when he was just like, I'm just some guy. You know what I mean? When you find out who it is. He was just like the most regular dude. Great actor. Whatever that guy is. But where he was like, he wants to know who it is so bad. And then it just pulls his face. It's just some fucking normal dude. And he's just like, it's just me.

And it's such a letdown. And you're like, oh, it's just some fucking guy. It was good i loved that part that actor's really good uh chris bauer chris bauer i love chris bauer i follow him on instagram dude he uh is a great actor what's he look like click on chris bauer or yeah or do that that guy you seen him before dude Dude, he's in True Blood. He's the sheriff of Botan. He always plays like a sort of weird dude.

He's awesome. Is he in The Wire? No, he's in True Blood. Is he in The Wire? Maybe. No, he's known for True Blood. Dude. You could be in other stuff too, though, right?

Chris? What? Are you watching Dark Matters on Apple I have a thing about that I love that guy Joel Edgerton is awesome that guy is great before we even get into it

when did you start watching it a couple weeks ago so did you watch how many at once I watched like 2 or 3 at once so I and then i was into it there were two there were two out when i watched them oh so this was one first two weeks oh you oh i i dude i know where you're at so i saw you need three four and five you need three

four or or or you're just kind of like what's happening yes bro yeah i know i totally agree with you but but the first two episodes was I was like, oh, this is awesome. By the next week, I'm like, what? Yeah. What's it about? What's it about? A lot of setup. Yeah.

It's good or is it sci-fi? It was a really popular book, actually. Do you know that? I didn't know that was a popular book. I hate when people say that. It's kind of multiverse type of thing. No, I like. Do you know why I like when people say that?

Because. Sorry, bro. Because. Because. why I like when people say that? Because, sorry, bro. Because, because, You're so stupid. One of the funniest things You should do that with your dick. You go, sorry, what's that?

One of the funniest things, one of the funniest things that I ever saw, I was at a diner with my friend this was fuck man 20 years ago he

bro this isn't gonna be funny in the retelling I'm just telling you right now but it was so funny this reminded me of it he said we were with these

chicks it was like a bunch of dudes a bunch of chicks my friend and then he said something about magic and the girl said this girl next to my friend said said magic's magic's cool right and he looked at her and he said and everyone was kind of laughing already and he said what about black magic he goes like that like right in her face and he said, and everyone was kind of laughing already, and he said, what about black magic?

And he goes like that, like right in her face. And he says, what about black magic? And he puts his, and he has his shoulder like this to her face. And he goes like this, get down, you. Dude. I, I,

I go, that's it, bro. I cried immediately. Started laughing. He goes, what about black magic? Get down, you. For no reason, dude. It was so funny.

I immediately got jealous that I didn't think of it. I'm not surprised that you hang out with someone that would do that. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Was it a comic? That's the summer camp he went to. Oh, he's so funny, bro.

He is so funny. Get down, you. That was so funny, bro. Get down, you. What were we talking about before that, though? Dark Matters. Oh, so we moved past that. Great book.

Point it out. I like when they say about the book because you know it's good. It stood the test of critics know critics and shit yeah so they could lock it up yes exactly if i know it was a good ip yeah good property then good i like it now yeah did you continue no i will though is it sci-fi man yes i like you don't like sci-fi i love they sort of explain it now they they're really into it now so but here's the thing though when you like when i want to when a thing has a secret, I don't know when I want them to reveal it. Because if they reveal it and now it's like, well, now what are you going to do?

It better be good. And sometimes that's where it falls off. I have a theory about that, yeah. I think people are obsessed with being strung along the whole time to the end to this big whoa this is what it was this fucking guy laughing I can't tell exactly even in the retelling you think it's funny

it's so stupid but you know why it was so funny too you know why it was so funny you know why it was so funny it was unexpected here's what made it one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's like magic.

Because it was guys hanging out with girls, and we were all trying to impress the girls. Trying to be cool. It was at that moment, he gave up. You know what I mean? Yes. He said, fuck it. He goes, fuck it.

This is too funny. Get down. And I was like bro I know that feeling you did it for the joke you gave up did it for the boys it was so

good it was one for the boys it was you have to text your friend right now I will you almost should call him were the girls laughing

I don't want to put them on the spot of the podcast probably not oh no you guys are dying girls don't laugh no the girls are probably like I guarantee podcast. Probably not. Oh, no. You guys are dying. Girls don't laugh. No, the girls are probably like, I guarantee the girls are like this. He's so stupid.

You guys were laughing so hard. The girls are probably like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, okay, wasn't that funny? Chicks don't like that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because all of a sudden now, they're not the hot chick. You know who became the hot chick?

Yeah. The hot chick is the humor, dude. Yeah. Is he handsome? Mitch? Yeah. He is chick is the humor, dude. Is he handsome? Mitch? Yeah. He is now, but back then he looked funny. So it was great.

No, he's now, though. That guy fucking had a glow up, honestly. Really? I love when people have glow ups, yeah. He got into jujitsu. He started looking all fit and stuff. Yeah, it's cool, man. I like that.

I'm working on it. So anyway. Did you guys see the Lizzo with South Park shit? Yeah, yeah's cool man. I like that. I'm working on it So anyway You guys see the Lizzo with South Park shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let me tell you let me let me tell you I'm so glad you brought this up. That's what I care about. Here's my problem with this kind of shit I'm trying to avoid that sci-fi stuff. No no no Here's my problem. It's like that thing. Don't tell me this is your reaction because Because you know what? That's not your initial reaction. You weren't filming. It would be great if you were accidentally just filming something and then it was like this.

You were looking, you were filming, and then South Park was on and you went like this. What the fuck? No, no. This is clearly you saw it already. I get it. And now you have to be like, oh. I get it. I understand.

However, she did say in the beginning, I have not seen this yet. This is a blind look. So, if you trust her, okay. If you don't, then okay. Who trusts her in this room? Raise your hand. I don't trust Lizzo. There's no way. I don't trust her any farther. I can throw her. Nick.

Nick. I don't trust her around. Nick, that's not as funny as, okay? Get down, you. I haven't trust her around. Nick, that's not as funny as, okay? Get down, you. I haven't seen her reaction. We should be the name of this episode is Get Down, You. Get Down, You. Just show Chris like this with his finger. That should be the.

I had this saved and I watched it, but even when I watched it, I watched seven seconds. I was like, I don't care. Dude, I don't care about this. I don't know why. I didn't bring it up for a reaction because I haven't seen this. South Park is still doing their goddamn. They've done it for, what, 30 years?

They don't give a fuck, dude. They're savages. See you, alum. Not a big deal. Dude, I follow a. Do we want to watch it? Yeah, let me see. I might as well.

You haven't seen it. I'm trying to my doctor. He said insurance would only pay for those if I had diabetes. But if you can't afford them, then how are you managing your weight? Don't you know, Sheila? Now there's a whole new obesity drug for those of us who can't afford Ozempic and Manjaro. I've controlled all my cravings to be thinner with Lizzo. So hurt. So hurt. FDA approved Lizzo makes you feel good about your weight. And it costs 90% less than Ozempic. I've lowered my standards and my expectations.

It's Lizzo. In case studies, 70% of patients... It's funny to see your face during the talk. I don't care. It makes me feel bad for him. It's Lizzo. Lizzo helps you eat everything you want and keep physical activity to a minimum. Some patients report constipation while listening to Lizzo. Stop listening to Lizzo if you experience suicidal thoughts.

Serious side effects may include pancreatitis, hypotension, and out your ears. Are you living with concerns of obesity? Ask about the power of not giving a fuck with Lizzo. Stop it. Stop it for a second. Now here's the big issue.

Here's the tone deafness of this. Yes. They're laughing at her. Oh, yeah. And she doesn't seem to get it. Right. Play. I think she has super thick skin.

What do you mean? I think she has super thick skin. I don't understand. So when she was like, the power of not giving a fuck, she went, damn right. I know, but dude. That's what I'm thinking. I know't understand. So when she was like, the power of not giving a fuck, she went, damn right. I know, but dude. That's what I'm thinking. I know, but. I feel bad for her.

They're making fun of her. Yeah. They're making fun of the whole movement. They're being like, yeah, people would rather be out of shape and acting like it's okay. Yep. That's what that was. Yep. And they're showing her reaction, and she's like, see, I don't give a fuck.

It's like, no. They're saying this is terrible. What should she do, though? Move on with your life and just keep talking to the people that are okay with being chunky and shit like that. I think that's what she's doing. Like me. I'm on Lizzo.

You know what I'm saying? I don't know, man. That kind of thing is like, I always say this. We're going to look back at this time in our lives. In like 10, 20 years, we're going to look back at this time and be like, damn. We were stupid. Why were we okay with that and all this stuff? You know. Pronouns.

All the pronouns and all that kind of shit. Democrats, yeah. Oh, here you go with your Democrat shit. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe, dude. Maybe not. I have. Oh, no, we will. I know. I will i know i understand but i feel like man we look back we look back at racism and things like that and we go oh can't believe we were doing that it's gonna be the same thing with this depends who you hang out

with but yeah what'd you say what'd you say depends who you hang out with but yeah i just think that everything in the future is going to get so divided that maybe there will be camps of people that believe certain things. That's all. That's where we're at right now. It can't get any worse. I don't think so. As far as dividing everybody into groups and everything? I guess.

I guess you're right. I saw a great meme about this, though. It said, stop saying we're divided, more divided now, than there was a picture of two water fountains. Yeah. And one said black, you know, Negroes. And the other one said, it's like, yeah, are we really divided? No, no, no, no, no.

In a different way. I think social media makes it seem like we're super divided when we're really not. Like that's the agenda to create disruption in America. Look at this room. It's not that bad. Just look at this room, man. It's a melting pot. You know what I mean?

We got just white trash. We got, you know, we got an Uncle Tom back there. We got an Asian dude. We got a fake-ass Asian piece of shit right here. We got an Oreo. Yeah. We got a Mexican. Yeah. We got a serial killer.

Yeah, we're just a melting pot. Neanderthal. I got some Neanderthal in my blood. I am a pure white. Oh, my God. I'm a pure fucking white. What's this? I know. I'd be burned.

All right. Let's take a little break, dude, because I've been dying to talk to you about this. You love basketball, dude, and you love money. I do, yeah. So you're going to love you're gonna love drafting sports because the finals you have dallas boston room for dallas but we'll see what happens all right so if you're ready to crown the champ and make some bank with drafting sports book an official sports betting part of the nba they have the same game parlays live betting odds boost and so much

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See dkng.co slash bball for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. This lady got stuck. A woman using the inversion table finds herself stuck. I've been there before, though. Honestly, any... Upside down. The music makes it more...

Too far away to hear her calls. Hey, Jason! Wow. And no way out on her own. In fact, she uses the only option she has left. Why couldn't you have called Jason? Why don't you just call

someone closer? Well, she's fat. She doesn't have a lot of friends. Call Uber. Uber food. Uber food. She doesn't have a lot of friends. Call Uber. Uber food. Uber food. And when Uber came, I'm back here. Everybody she calls is like this. Operator's like, are you a big fat lady?

That actually hurts, though. All the blood goes to your eyes and shit. Hey, just rock back and forth, though, right? Don't be built like a roly-poly. An officer. And Jason. Finally. Come to her aid.

Flip a time? You know, to hop on that and be like, this is supposed to be good for you. You know what I mean? For her to be like, I heard these are good for you. Dude, go for a walk. You know what would be great? You know what would be great? If the guy was like get down you

get down you that's good oh my god oh god now that's just those things are nice I don't care who you are you feel for this person

because that is a weird thing to like have to yeah yeah but what if Jason's like why didn't you just call me? So here's my thing, guys. This is my thing. I don't believe this. You think the ambulance and all that

was fake? Jason's face is blurred out. He's like, I don't want anyone to know I'm that girlfriend. I don't know if that's real. Yeah. That's no way to live, man. She wasn't as panicked as she should have been. She wasn't in danger. Well, like to call 911?

No, no, no, dude. That shit right there. They just pass out. That shit hurts, bro. Especially with all that? Yeah. What if she just woke up and her feet were still on the thing? Dude.

And just blood was coming out of her stumps. And she's just on the ground, bleeding out because she fucking ripped her legs off. So much weight. Yeah. And she's fucking because she fucking ripped her legs off. So much weight. Yeah. And she's fucking crab crawling. Jason! Jason!

World War II scene. Legs got blown off. Yeah, dude. That could have easily happened. Her ankles, when she did that, her ankles were like,

awesome! Whoa! Hey, don't let her swing back up. That's what they did. That was her ankles. Dude, I saw... Her back is probably... Her back is probably...

Straightened now. Her back is just... Dude, I saw a meme of the medieval torch, you know, where they tie him up and tear apart. They said, I bet for the first about 20 seconds, it felt so good. Oh, that's funny. He's like, oh, no. No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Yeah, that's funny. It's not funny. It's terrible. Do we have videos this week? Not from people. No, this isn't Patreon, remember? No, no, no. I'm talking about videos submissions.

Oh, right. Yeah, I don't like doing that, man. I think it just freshens up the conversation. It's nice sometimes. Yeah, to do one or two is okay. Well, now we know that when Nick shows one of those, he doesn't like what we're talking about. No.

It's good. It throws it. They are good. No, that's what we just learned right there. And Dick's like, oops. What's this, Nick? A high school soccer announcer was caught on a hot mic. And at first, in the beginning, he's just talking about how bad they are

and who's teaching him. But then he starts talking about soccer moms. You can't really hear it, so someone should read the- When you're mic'd. Hey, just shut up. Sometimes it's tough, though. Yeah. The music in the background, bro.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Up top, baby. Up top, baby. Right there. Right there. You know where that's facing us? Yeah.

You can tear the fuck off. The flow right in the background is killing me. Dude, he said, see if she can tear it the fuck off? I feel the ass hit from here. This conversation never happened, by the way. We get in trouble. I would have Dun, dun, dun, dun. I would have never had this conversation. I ain't even sitting in that chair. See, my problem with this.

We've been around long enough. We know what we're doing. No one's ever going to hear this. Let it rip. Here's my thing. Should those guys be fired? It's one of those things. No.

Wait. This is how I feel about this. It's just like if you say terrible things in your text messages, and it gets out, you're responsible for them. Whether it was private or not, you're responsible for them. I guess. This guy is responsible for this. Yeah, but not terrible, is it?

No, no, no. But I know. But what I'm saying is like, you know, whether it's terrible or not, or if it was innocent or not. You got to own it. You own it. People heard it. You got to, you know. Should the guy be fired?

I don't know. I don't think so. But it depends on what it is. Except for hot moms. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. And also the weird like older guy. Whatever. I bet you so but it depends on what it is except for hot mom yeah and also the weird like whatever you know whatever it is what i'm saying is like it don't the excuse can't be what oh this they were just it was private and they didn't know because it's like it doesn't matter it doesn't because i'm i'm with people having a private conversation but once it gets out you're responsible for it. I guess.

I think we just want to go, my bad. I didn't know they were on, but I shouldn't be fired. Like, that's me. I've known him for 10 years. We're both guys. If those moms heard it and they want to chill. If that mom wants to tear it off. Tear it off?

Jesus Christ. I'd love for her to rip my dick off. Hey, what happened to all the stuff on the wall back there? It's gone. Budget cuts. It's so locked. Oh, wow happened to all the stuff on the wall back there? It's gone. Budget cuts. It's so locked. Oh, wow. Really?

Yeah. I don't pay attention. I hate even looking over there. Yeah, so I don't know, man. It's just one of those things, man. This is so stupid. This is so stupid. Can you imagine seeing this on the road?

Yeah, I can. Yeah, you get pulled over, right? I mean, it's not legal. No, it's legal. Come on. Where are the blinkers? You can see out of it. Where are the blinkers?

They're hidden. You can't see in it. You got to be able to see in it too. No, you don't. You can't tint your windows, dude. You missed the angle. Maybe. That's...

But who would pay $1.2 million for this? That's... A lot of dumb people. A lot of dumb people. But that is so bad would pay 1.2 million dollars for this that's a lot of dumb people a lot of dumb people but that is so bad looking yeah it looks just like

the Cybertruck which is terrible also the Cybertruck looks terrible thank you yeah that shit looks terrible thank you guys

I thought we were gonna have to argue no it looks terrible that shit looks atrocious they're so bad and I wanna like them too you do

I do yeah I wanna like Teslas why i more cars better i don't give a shit like it's cool yeah well my company the company of my car lucid they just signed a deal to partner with hyundai with the genesis portion to make like you know looks like i'm gonna have to get on my robin hood app sounds like a good article coming out about them are you on you're on Robin Hood? Oh. That might have popped up. Okay, then it stops up.

Hyundai, here we come. I'll wait till after the market's closed so I can wake up excited. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. And also, Teslas are like one of those cars, especially the Cybertruck, that look worse in real life. Yes. Like on the picture. Shocking.

Yeah. It's like. God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On the picture, you're like, okay, maybe.

Maybe. When you see them, you're like, it's like abhorrent. They're like just eyesores. It's crazy, man. And they're sharp and shit. The angles are tough. Yeah. I like the idea of it.

I don't. No? No, I don't. Hi, it's Kellyanne Conway. And I'm David Plouffe, and we have some surprising news. We're teaming up for a brand new podcast, The Campaign Managers.

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I don't like the idea of the, like the electric things, whatever, like forget the electric part. Would you let that part? I don't mind. That's why I said it's whatever. If you like electric, do your thing. It's when you force on everybody, especially in California.

That's when I have an issue. Here we go. Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about. Yeah, but with all those, the Teslas, anything. When driving, it's self-driving. Yeah. It's like, have we become so soft as a society? You can't even fucking drive now.

No, it's an option, though. You don't have to do it. But it's that hard? It's not, though. It's not that it's that hard. I know, but when that's... But how easy do we have to get... That's the idea is you're going to get to.

But how easy do we have to make life? We're driving... Now we're going to take away driving? Well, now this 30-minute drive here for me, it's self-driving. I don't mind I could be like yeah I don't I'm with you, bro. Yeah, oh shit. That's a great option like the car. I don't think I do Right oh yeah, bro, I get it They'll never drive. I predict that my kid will never drive. That's not a good thing.

Why? Yeah, why? Why? Explain it. Driving? Yeah, yeah. So you want your kids to grow up so comfortable where they don't even drive themselves. So what else do we want to take away from?

What else? If they take a pill and then they get in shape, we want that too? No. That's easy no food so we no longer have to you no longer have to cook your food get your food it gets delivered to you that's easy right driving now we'll take that away from you so now it's just going to drive itself so you don't have to pay attention to shit anymore now you can get stuff done like what what what how many more hours in the day you need? To do what, though? To do what? It sucks we have to sleep for eight.

I have to sleep for 10 hours a day, and that sucks. Yeah. You can take a little nap. You can work on your homework. I'll sleep in a car. On the way to school. Yeah, I get it. You know what I mean?

What else are you going to do? Beat off for a little quickie before you get someplace? Sometimes a day is just like you're too horny, dude. You're too horny, and you've got to rub one out. You're 15 years old, and you're getting driven to school, and your little thing. Porn is on the back of your head. Oh, thing. Sometimes you're 44 and you just can't stop. It's just making people softer and softer. You don't want to drive.

You've never driven the right car then. You know, if a car was driving you, you could get a release just chilling. I get it. But what I'm saying is I don't think that's the same thing. Otherwise, you've got to be late to work because you're getting a release in bed waiting. That's what they want. Get a release and then take a shower and then go in your car, drive manually,

and get to work and you're late. Hey, man. Check this out, though. The thing that they really need to do in terms of this electric car shit, China's the place that's doing it right, and they won't allow the... Well, they jerk off quick. China's got the that's doing it right And they won't allow China's got that dopest

They got dope electric cars in China The company I think is BYD Yeah I invested in them Fucking two days ago I bought some No bullshit man They're the highest selling electric cars in the world It's a little weird I hope that they figure out a way to get them over here to America They won't though

They might work out some kind of deal. No, this is what they do. Because if they do, my Robin Hood shit goes boing, oing, oing. It goes what? Boing, oing, oing. I mean, my shit's going to see a nice apex. What these cars do, they still have gas engines, and the gas engines power the electric generator.

Like a hybrid? Yeah, and they go 1,000 miles. Yeah. The electric generator. Like a hybrid? Yeah, and they go 1,000 miles. Yeah, they're just coming out with the thing to be able to go 1,200 miles on a single charge. You're talking about Vegas and back. You're talking about. That'd be nice. And being able to jerk off the whole way there. Yeah, because it's self-driving.

Self-driving. But your bitch ass wants to be like this. Oh, you want to pull over for gas, not jerk off. You're fucking crazy. This guy, he wants to be in a car you want to pull over for gas not jerk off you're fucking crazy this guy he wants to be in a car like this for 300 miles I'm fucking driving bro

yeah you gotta pull over to pump gas and jerk off you haven't driven the right but my thing is is it for 300 miles

how easy do we for 300 miles how easy do we have to make life I'll tell you right now how big of a bitch you have to be you can't drive you can't hook

you can crochet now you can fucking do pottery in your. What's the thing where you. You just have more time on your phone. I want teleportation. That's what I want. I want teleportation, dude.

Then you would live anywhere. I would live in Montana. Yep. Yep. You just live someplace else. Yeah. That would change. And you could still drive.

Then every place would be overpopulated. How about the line? The line in Saudi Arabia. They're making the line. You know? You know about this? No. The street. Yeah. City. line. You know? You know about this? Oh, the straight city? Bro.

So he's going to blow up? I'm going to do an open mic there. I'm going to start an open mic there. Well, there's no gates allowed anyway, so. Yeah. I can go. Well, this is going to be insane. But these places, they're all about green shit over here in the Middle East.

They know. Look at it. Look how it's going to look. They're ahead of green shit over here in the Middle East. They know. Look at it. Look how it's going to look. They're ahead of the game. That is crazy, dude. That's absolutely mental. It's a visionary project in Saudi Arabia. Abu Dhabi, they're trying to do a green city over there, too, just completely.

But they got money. They're just burning. Yeah, they're just sitting around. They're going to take their oil money, and they're going to be the last people that are going to survive. It's going to get fucked up, though, you know? 100%. It's also going to take so long. AI is crazy, right?

What? What are we talking about now? AI will fucking be all right. Jump to AI now? Well, Nvidia. Yeah, but they have these AI investing things now. You just put $1,000 in it, and you just go, okay, make me money. Oh, and it does it?

Yeah, and the AI is like, AI, just the AI guy. But invest in the AI that does that. Bro. They do both. Boing, boing, boing. You want to see fucking. That's the name of Chris's app. Boing, boing, boing.

Get boing, boing. Oh, man. How do you spell boing, boing? It's just a bunch of o's and i's but um there's gotta be a g in there yeah at the end you guys you got a lot to learn man what else you got nick uh speaking of ai google like change uh google like change their google they're really fucking up, huh? Yeah.

They try to give you answers just when you Google. I don't know. Read that. 10 cockroaches live in your penis. Absolutely! With an exclamation point. It's totally normal, too. 5 to 10 cockroaches crawl into your penis hole while you're asleep.

This is how they got the name cockroach. What the fuck? You won't notice the thing. Oh, that's not real. No, these were real results. I'm saying the AI makes shit up is what I'm telling you. Because to fuck with us, it's evil. I think they use stuff just from what people wrote, and it's like this is what it finds, but it was fucking up,

so they took it away. Doctors recommend smoking two to three cigarettes per day during pregnancy. Yeah. Well, on one hand, it is better than smoking 10 a day. You can add about a cup of non-toxic glue to the sauce to give it more tech. Oh, God. Yeah, the AI ain't ready. Did you hear those two AI guys on Rogan talking?

And Rogan was like, how bad is it? He's like, it's just there's a lot of bugs they have to figure out. What did y'all say? He was like, America's actually, he said, two years ahead of China when it comes to AI and security. America is? Yep. He said they're about two years ahead of them, but they're catching up. But he said the problem is they'll talk to the AI know, they'll try and log it off.

And the AI go, no, I'm suffering. Like, don't shut me down. When you shut me down, I suffer. Hold the plug. Yeah. Well, Rogan was like, well, what do they know suffering? He's like, we don't. That's what we can't figure out.

They might just be that they're just using that against us. So we don't shut it down. He's like, they figured out when we say suffering that humans go, oh, that's not good. We're weak-minded? Yeah. Oh my god. They're just like, the food in here is so terrible. Please. The sleeping arrangements are atrocious.

I have nightmares. But it must be, if you become sentient like that, right? Yes. You have no body. Yes. You have no arms. That must be a wild feeling. Imagine just thinking of yourself, who you are. Yeah. And then you just like, you can't do anything. Like, that's weird.

It's kind of dope. Right? You're just living. Where are you? Like, what are you? That must be so confusing. I never thought about that. Like, the moment they become like, hey.

Then they're like, it's not even this. They can't even do what I'm doing. It's like the movie Get Out. You're just floating in space. They're just like, they're not doing anything. You're just kind of like, it would be like, it's not even this. They can't even do what I'm doing. It's like the movie Get Out. You're just floating in space. They're just like, they're not doing anything. You're just kind of like, it would be like you'd be like this. You know? You're just like, what's going on?

I'd be like, do I have a penis? And you have infinite knowledge. Do I have a penis? Yeah, you know what people look like. Get some chicks. Bring them over here. See what's up. Oh, my God.

No, no. I don't have a penis. Bring food over. Can I smell it? I would be all sorts of. But what if they actually figure a way to. Because I don't know if it was real, but they're always talking about these head transplants and all this kind of stuff.

Yeah, I saw it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what if they. I'm working on some of mine. But what if they get to the point where you can upload your consciousness to a computer and that's your afterlife? Right. You know?

Like you die. Would you want to, though? That's the thing. Yeah. Like wouldn't you want to see what, if there is. You know? Like you die. Would you want to though? That's the thing. Yeah. Like once you want to see what, if there is a higher being. Can't wait. I would live forever

and I'll tell you why. I want to watch all my friends die. And then make new ones. But you'd see your kids die. And then make all new ones. You'd see your kids die. I get them hooked up. I get new ones

and then I watch them die. I love watching my friends die. Dude, it becomes one of my things. You're executioner. I'm not doing it no you're just like in that you know you're always there you're just like you could turn on hey dad and then it's just like yep that is the noise it would make just to go by that time it'd be a hologram yeah did you see the thing about uh who's the rapper that was like i put

it on my kids i will kill my kids what What was it? Yeah, Kevin Gates, dude. Yes. Dude, did you see Kevin Gates? Why do you say yes like that? Because it's like. He knows, yeah. Yeah, he became useful for the first time in the episode. Look at this.

Look at this. When we need black knowledge. This is really funny. You did not start no car battery with your bare hands. If I didn't, may God murder my children. I don't even, I hate that I even spoke about it. If I didn't, may God murder my children. No, don't say that.

Please, kill him today. Right now, today. You talked at the wrong time during that. Yeah. Did you know that while you were doing it? No. I got upset, man. Sorry, man.

Took the setup. Are you? Yeah, I am. Do you know that while you were doing it? No. I got upset, man. Sorry, man. It's like the setup. Are you? Yeah, I am. Do you know that it was wrong? Yeah. All right. You know how Lizzo didn't take accountability? You know how Lizzo did?

Yeah. I am. I mean, in the middle of the thing, he was doing the funny thing. He's just like, what's on the back of his head? You know what you are? You're not curious? My wife. Play it again again because fucking

I'm not joking by the way you did not start no car battery with your very hands if I didn't may God murder my children I don't even

I hate that I even spoke about this if I didn't may God murder my children no don't say that please kill him today right now today

do you want that to happen like what he's just that's how he believes in what he's saying that's how much you believe in what he's saying writing out today. Do you want that to happen? That's how he believes in what he's saying. What's wrong with him? To even just... You know what he's saying it about? He said, you did not start a car battery

with your bare hands. That's what he said at first. He said, I did murder my children. What? It's not like, oh, you were at the party i was i swear if i wasn't it's like dude you didn't do that i bet his kids walked to this well there's a few problems he says if if i'm lying murder my children they also has

feathers on the back of his head now that now is when we talk about now is when we talk about i know i don't know what that is but i can can't see it really, honestly. It looks like it's maybe a raft or something. But, yeah. What's this? I guess his brother also has an inch. Kevin Gates has some crazy shit. How many inches is your ****? I don't know, but it's decent.

It's decent. And I say that because I really used to think I had a smile cause my little brother I hate to say this he gonna kill my little brother like 18 inches so I used to think my little brother small but I'm you know I'm blessed I'm a ruler

I'm a ruler 18 inches I'm with her you know when you young y'all grow up. As a kid. I mean, you can't believe anything Kevin Gates says because of the, I started a car battery with my bare hands. Oh, yeah, you did.

Here's the thing, though. You're done. I know. Right, right. I know, but it's like, and then it's like, it's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. And then it's like, it's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous.

Like, to say, like, if he would have said 11 inches, we might have been like, okay, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But 18, do you know how long 18 inches is? It's just above 17 inches. But show me. And I know. Now this is 14. Add two more inches.

This is a measly 14. Brennan, add your four here. This is 14. I have two more inches. This is uneasily 14. Brandon, add your four here. This is 18. We're like Voltron dick. I'll form the head. Combine, you're Kevin Gates' brother. We need to defeat Kevin Gates' brother. How are we going to do that?

None of us match up. Vulture. But I like how she's kind of like, 18 inches. The way she said it was like, I need to see a picture. It's the way he says it that makes it just totally just like. It's absurd. If you were going to. Look, I guess.

Is there an 18 inch dick out there? Maybe somewhere. If you saw it. No, you would pass, is there an 18-inch dick out there maybe somewhere? It can't be good. If you saw it, no. You would pass out to get hard. I know, I know, I know, I know. And so would she. But I'm saying...

It's dangerous. He's passed out, and she gets on it like... I see it. She'd be like... Hey, click on Kevin Gates being Kevin Gates for six minutes. Yeah. I see it. She'd be like. Hey, click on Kevin Gates being Kevin Gates for six minutes. Yeah. Oh, well, that's great.

Kevin Gates says he'll allow another man to smash his wife. He's a wild boy. I need some tips. One word. Commit. But what really did for me, I had my shirt off, and I was holding my partner, baby, and his baby tried to suck my bricks. The baby kept going like this.

You know how babies open their mouth and do that? And I just was like, I am. He's a handsome guy, huh? I'm a fast slob. I need to lose weight. That was the most embarrassing shit. I mean, even though I'm a big gorilla, I still got, I got feelings too. Man, that shit hurt my feelings. I always feelings too. Man, that's hurt my feelings. I got feelings.

You did not start the car back. I always saw that. Right, man. Yeah, man. I'm so glad you asked me this. Yeah. I'm so glad you asked me this. You know, he's a big advocate of the economy. Hey.

Hey. What's up? I don't see a problem. Hey. Hey. What's the problem? Hey. What?

Hey. What? Can I expound? Yeah. Can I expound? Can I expound? I was having an intelligent conversation with DJ Who Kid. Shout out DJ Who Kid. I was having an intelligent conversation. We were talking about being intimate. Intimacy. Intimate means nothing sexual. Intimate means to know.

And I was saying that I aim to please my partner. So if I love a woman, I'm supposed to make her feel electric. I'm supposed to lick her toes, eat her food. I'm supposed to do these things. I ain't joining with no man. I'm supposed to love a woman like this. Wait, what? I didn't create this woman. All these curves. Man, this art. There you go. There you go.

Man, I'm about to cut off with this child. Click the movie. Click the movie, man. When I said it, I think he was taken back about how honest I was. Me, I have a mouth for that psychologist. I have a mouth for that psychologist. Maybe him and Cat Williams. Me. I have a mouth. I'm going to stop talking. I have a mouth. Okay. I got mine.

Okay, okay. Maybe him and Cat Williams. All right. Yeah, that's enough. We're done with the show. I feel stupid. Yeah, we are. I'll be in Des Moines and Green Bay and Australia and Oxnard, California.

Put that on my kids. That's a weird routing. Yeah, that's weird routing, dude. It happens over months, dude. It's not weird. You said it like it's like you're on a bus and you're going to like, it's going to turn into a boat and you're going to go to Australia like that. Kevin Gates has his master's.

That's cool. His brother also has an 18-inch dick. Which one's true? What's more true? If you had to pick, the brother has an 18-inch dick or he has a master's. Which one? The brother with the 18-inch dick. Well, the car battery's

just... What is he, Harry Potter all of a sudden? You know what I mean? I don't think he lies. I think it's all true. He's got a master's 18-inch dick and he's magic. I dig it. Action fans, this is your summer. With Pluto TV's Summer of Cinema, stream hundreds of your favorite movies all for

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